Special Needs Living May 2021 Digital Issue by Uniquely You

living

Special Needs

May 2021

Indianapolis & Surrounding Areas

ON THE COVER

Meet the Ashby Family Paul, Lisa, Tyler, and Caleb Photos by: Heather Gregg – 21 Vines Photography

INSIDE: Mental Health Awareness Articles and Stories My Story with Autism and Depression Sponsor Spotlight: LifeVantage – Kristin and Erik Richards Best Buddies – Macy McGrath and Josh Hanna Young Achiever: Victoria (Tori) Turner Ben’s Ranch Foundation My Journey to a Healthy Mental Health Breaking Down HealthCare Barriers Beyond Understanding Nuggets of Wisdom Inspirational Moments Local Events Valuable Resources and More

CONNECTING - INSPIRING - EDUCATING - FAMILIES WITH SPECIAL NEEDS

2 Special Needs Living • May 2021

I M P O RTA N T

N UMBE R S 317-977-2375

317-257-8683

Arc of Indiana www.arcind.org

AREA DIRECTOR PUBLISHER

Jamie McCabe jamie.mccabe@n2pub.com

ASK: About Special Kids, Inc. www.aboutspecialkids.org 317-233-4454

Indiana Family and Social Services Administration (FSSA) - www.in.gov/fssa/index.htm

317-232-7770

Indiana Governor’s Council for People with Disabilities (GPCPD)

800-609-8448

Autism Society of Indiana www.autismsocietyofindiana.org

877-241-8144

Blind and Visually Impaired Services (BVIS)

800-545-7763

Bureau of Developmental Disabilities Services (BDDS)

812-855-6508

Indiana Resource Center for Autism https://www.iidc.indiana.edu/irca

800-545-7763

Bureau of Rehabilitation Services (BRS)

317-233-1325

Indiana State Department of Health

Deaf and Hard of Hearing Services (DHHS) DHHSHelp@fssa/in.gov

844-446-7452

Indiana Statewide Independent Living Council (INSILC)

800-622-4968

Disability Determination Bureau

855-641-8382

Indiana Works

888-673-0002

Division of Aging (IDA)

800-332-4433

INSOURCE http://insource.org/

800-403-0864

Division of Family Resources (DFR) 800-457-4584

Medicaid Disability

317-232-7800

Division of Mental Health and Addiction 317-232-7770

Medicaid Waivers

317-925-7617

Down Syndrome Indiana https://dsindiana.org

800-772-1213

Social Security Administration (SSA)

877-511-1144

Early Childhood and Out of School Learning (OECOSL)

317-466-1000

Easterseals Crossroads https://eastersealscrossroads.org

911

Family Voices Indiana www.fvindiana.org

800-545-7763

First Steps www.cibaby.org

574-234-7101

INSOURCE www.insource.org Indiana Department of Education: Office of Special Education www.doe.in.gov/specialed

Social Security Disability Insurance (SSDI)

877-851-4106

Special Education Questions

317-871-4032

United Cerebral Palsy Association of Grater Indiana https://www.ucpaindy.org

800-545-7763

Vocational Rehabilitation Services (VR)

Emergency

844-323-4636

317-232-0570

1-800-772-1213

DISCLAIMER: Any articles included in this publication and/or opinions expressed therein do not necessarily reflect the views of The N2 Company d/b/a N2 Publishing but remain solely those of the author(s). The paid advertisements contained within the Special Needs Living magazine are not endorsed or recommended by The N2 Company or the publisher. Therefore, neither The N2 Company nor the publisher may be held liable or responsible for business practices of these companies. NOTE: When community events take place, photographers may be present to take photos for that event and they may be used in this publication.

May 2021 • Special Needs Living

Sponsor I N D E X Neighborhood

Thank you to all the below businesses who have chosen to support Special Needs Living magazine each month!! They would be delighted to help you with your next project or need. If you know of a business who helps those with Special Needs and would be a good resource to families please email us to let us know. Jamie.McCabe@n2pub.com

ABA & COMPREHENSIVE SERVICES K1ds Count Therapy (317) 520-4748 ABA SERVICES Autism Center for Enrichment (317) 436-7080 Mindful and Modern ABA Therapies (317) 827-7777

ADULT DAY CENTER Adult Day Centers Jay Lugosch (317) 296-8815 ASSISTANCE DOG Indiana Canine Assistant Network, INC. (ICAN) (317) 250-6450

The Indiana Institute for Behavior Analysis, LLC (317) 388-8131

ATTORNEY-WILLS/TRUSTS/ ESTATE PLANNING Law Office of Elizabeth A. Homes LLC (317) 660-5004

ABA/COMPREHENSIVE SERVICES The Hope Source (317) 578-0410

CASE MANAGEMENT Connections Case Management (317) 440-0637

ACCESSIBILITY PRODUCTS AMRamp (260) 519-1935

IPMG - Indiana Professional Management Group (866) 672-4764

CAT CARE & SITTING Bastet Cat Care & Sitting (317) 919-1948 DENTAL CARE Children’s Dental Center (317) 842-8453 FINANCIAL Munder Financial James Munder (317) 238-6621 WestPoint Financial Group Gordon Homes (317) 567-2005 FUNCTIONAL MEDICINE Wholestic Nutrition (317) 429-0111

Before

(317) 789-6362 Ray's Construction & Handyman Services @RaysConstructionLLC

After

Framing • Flooring • Roofing • Yard Cleaning • Decks • Interior and Exterior Painting • Privacy Fence • Build Ramps • Expanding Walls

4 Special Needs Living • May 2021

GYMNASTICS Body by GymRoots Studio (317) 579-9300

MOBILITY / ACCESSIBILITY CYA Mobility (317) 530-2541

HEALTH & WELLNESS LifeVantage - Team Richards Kristin Richards (317) 698-5264

MORTGAGE CrossCountry Mortgage (317) 666-4679

Ritello Clifton Herbert (661) 317-6157

NEUROFEEDBACK THERAPY Indy Neurofeedback (317) 888-8500 PEDIATRIC THERAPY Wee Speak (765) 446-8300

INSURANCE State Farm John Cole (317) 430-1958 INVESTMENT MANAGEMENT Dan Claxton Investment Advisory & Broker Dan Claxton (317) 250-8080 LANDSCAPING/LAWN CARE/ LANDSCAPE LIGHTING Franco Landscaping, Inc (317) 858-3858

REAL ESTATE Encore Sotheby’s Patti & Jeff Carroll (317) 809-5839 REALTOR F.C. Tucker Nicole Lyon (317) 501-0639 REGENERATIVE MEDICINE/STEM CELL THERAPY Destination ReGen (317) 522-1980

REMODELING/CONSTRUCTION Ray’s Construction LLC Ray Valverde (317) 515-5308 SCHOOL Dynamic Minds Academy (317) 578-0410 SCHOOL - SPECIAL NEEDS The Fortune Academy (317) 377-0544 SCULPTURE, POTTERY & ART Ripple Mobile Arts (317) 514-8469 SPECIAL EDUCATION CONSULTING IEP Services, LLC. Sheila Wolfe (317) 573-9610 SUPPORT SERVICES Easterseals Crossroads (317) 466-1000 THERAPY & TESTING SERVICES The Brain Center (317) 748-0034

A.C.E. Is Growing Exceptional Learners From The Ground Up! We recognize that every individual with Autism is unique in terms of his or her challenges and strengths. Whether you are a family who has just received an Autism diagnosis, you have an older child in the later stages of treatment, or anything in between, ACE will create an Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) therapy program that will work for your child and your family. IN HOME & CLINIC-BASED SERVICES In-Network With Most Insurances

www.autismenrichment.com (317) 436-7080 | info@autismenrichment.com May 2021 • Special Needs Living

MEET THE Special Needs Living JAMIE MCCABE Publisher & Area Director

HEATHER GREGG Photographer 21 Vines Photography

BRITTANY LOWE Event Executive

LEAH PARKS Knightingale + Willow Photography

MARIA SMIETANA Editor & Writer

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6 Special Needs Living • May 2021

promotions

This Magazine is

FO R YO U BY YO U To S u p p o r t & C o n n e c t Yo u Here is How You Can be Involved HAVE A STORY TO SHARE?

CALLING ALL 501C3 ORGANIZATIONS THAT SUPPORT THE SPECIAL NEEDS COMMUNITY

Would you like to share a story in an upcoming issue of Special Needs Living? We want to hear from you – to share a story or to nominate someone else to be in an upcoming issue of Special Needs Living? Email us your story ideas or nominations to SpecialNeedsLivingIndy@n2pub.com.

Each month we will highlight a nonprofit for free to let the community know more about how they support and impact families and individuals with special needs. Do you run a non-profit or know of one that supports the special needs community? Email us at SpecialNeedsLivingIndy@n2pub.com.

To view several story options with quick links to answer questions and upload photos go to Linktr.ee/ Community.Stories.

living

Special NeedS

april 2021

iNdiaNapoliS & SurrouNdiNg areaS

Accomplishments/ Achievements/Milestones Looking to Celebrate all ON THE COVER Special Needs Individuals Some accomplishments and milestones take years ... We want to recognize you/them! Are you or your child celebrating a birthday, milestone, achievement, or accomplishment? We want to recognize you – email us at SpecialNeedsLivingIndy@n2pub.com. Meet the Dilts Family – Jeremy, Kimberly, Hunter and Eli

Photos by: Heather Gregg – 21 Vines

Photography

CONNECTING - INSPIRING -

Inside: Indy Autism Project Matt Knight – Getting a Job What is Autism Meet the Dilts Family Autism Society of Indiana Sponsor Spotlight: ACE – Autism Center for Enrichment Sibling Perspective: The Strauss Sisters Meet the Brenneman Family Pioneer Parents: Michele Trivedi Sensory Play Date Local Events and More

EDUCATING - FAMILIES WITH

LET’S GET SOCIAL To keep up to date with all things happening with Special Needs Living • UPCOMING EVENTS/SOCIALS/GATHERINGS • STORIES AND HIGHLIGHTS •WAYS TO BE INVOLVED •

SPECIAL NEEDS

FOR ADVERTISING: Do you run a business that supports the Special Needs Community and are looking to advertise and support the Special Needs Living magazine email: Jamie.McCabe@n2pub.com.

REFERRAL PROGRAM We have a referral program $100 bonus to anyone who personally connects us with a business or organization that chooses to support Special Needs Living.

HIGHLIGHTING ALL SPECIAL NEEDS BUSINESSES Do you have Special Needs and run a Business? We will highlight all those with special needs who run a business for Free – email us or go to Linktr.ee/Community.Stories and click on (Special Needs Living – Business Profile Q&A).

Please let us know if there is a company or organization that supports the Special Needs Community that you would like to recommend – Jamie.McCabe@n2pub.com.

May 2021 • Special Needs Living

Publisher's

Note

Jordan’s favorite thing to do – play with an unlimited amount of sand on the beach in the sun! He was in his happy place!

Oftentimes, out of fear of how our special needs son Jordan will do in specific environments, we choose to just not go. I love that more often than not, when we do go and participate, Jordan does way better than we expected. One of the things our son enjoys most is playing in sand and water and enjoying the sun. So I decided to take a leap of faith and take my kids to Panama City Beach a couple of months ago. Knowing that my husband couldn’t get away from work, I went with a dear friend and her son and all three of my kids. It can often be overwhelming even when my husband and I are managing our kids together, so I knew it would be a lot of work to manage them without his help. But I knew it would be worth it.

I am glad we got to spend this time together and am very thankful for it. I was very apprehensive about this trip and worried that Jordan would run away and not stay close to us. But I was so surprised to see that he did stay close. This month, we are focusing on mental health awareness. Problems with mental health is something that so many of us are either experiencing or know someone who is. I just can’t even begin to express the gratitude I have for the stories shared here each and every month. Each of the stories we have the pleasure of sharing has had an impact on me. I am so encouraged to keep pushing and fighting even when I do not feel like it because I know so many in the special needs community are out there doing it, too. Special Needs Living is designed for individuals with special needs and families who have a child with any type of special need, whether psychological, behavioral, emotional, or physical. Stories are largely written by our readers. It is for you, by you, and meant to connect you. Oftentimes we can feel alone and isolated. The stories shared here will give hope, inspiration, and encouragement, perhaps even shift your perspective. If you have a story you would like to share, you are welcome to email us at SpecialNeedsLivingIndy@ n2pub.com or check out our Linktr.ee/Community.Stories to view some of the story template options. We would love to share any milestones that your child has accomplished. Maybe it is getting dressed on their own, eating on their own, using the restroom, communicating, getting a driver’s license, graduating from high school/college, getting their first

8 Special Needs Living • May 2021

It was not easy taking all three of my kids to the beach by myself. They did relatively well. But now I am needing a vacation from vacation.

Jordan loves to squish things in his hands. We enjoyed trying out some clay and wheel fun at Mobile Ripple Arts!

job, living on their own. Email photos and a caption to SpecialNeedsLivingIndy@n2pub.com. To keep up with events, stories, and things we are looking to add to the magazine, you can follow us on our Facebook page: Special Needs Living magazine. You can view our monthly digital versions there also. I also want to let you know that we now have an easy way to share stories. You can put your camera over the QR Code here and it will take you to the site where there are several story options. You can pick a story that relates to you and answer the questions you like. Note that you do not have to answer them all. You can upload photos here, too. It is stories like yours that inspire and impact others, may shift thinking, or give hope and encouragement. These stories also make nice keepsakes that you and your family can treasure for years to come. We hope you enjoy the May issue of Special Needs Living. We welcome feedback, thoughts, or ideas. It is such a blessing to bring this magazine and resource to you each and every month! Your Publisher, Jamie McCabe 248-882-8448 Jamie.McCabe@n2pub.com

Open up your phone’s camera and hold it over this QR Code. A link will appear. When you click on the link, it will take you to a site where you will have a chance to see many story options. Click a link, answer questions, and upload photos. It’s that simple. We look forward to sharing your story in a future issue.

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ABA Therapy Speech Therapy Occupational Therapy Physical Therapy Mental Health Services School Services

At K1ds Count Therapy, our mission is to SERVE Together. We recognize the importance of a comprehensive therapy team to help each child learn and grow. Our autism services team members meet goals that are important to the child and the family through ABA, speech, occupational, physical, and mental health therapies working and serving together. Our children also participate in music therapy and a variety of classroom experiences each week. K1ds Count Therapy shares the goal for each child to be successful in the school setting. We work closely with public, private, and charter schools through our school services program and by meeting with school leaders regularly. We provide services in welcoming environments that feel like school and home. The above photo shows our Brownsburg six acre campus consisting of six buildings, two spacious sensory gyms, three playgrounds, and more. Similarly, our 10,000 sq ft Crawfordsville location has its own By: Lindsay Knez, MA, CCC-SLP, BCBA classrooms, gym, playground, and outpatient wing We are also excited to soon open our Owner/Founder of K1ds Count Therapy third and final Whitestown/Zionsville location. This 7,000 sq ft facility has wide open classrooms connected to a sensory gym and outdoor playground. This facility sits on 13 acres, perfect for future events, BEST Athletes, and other KCT programs. K1ds Count Therapy strives to holistically support the communities we serve. We have a passion for helping to bridge the gap between pediatric and adult services and look forward to providing both children and adults with waiver services. Most importantly, we are connected with the communities in which we live, work, and serve. We serve our families and the entire community by giving back through events and service projects. Whether organizing community events for families, hosting parents’ night out, holding parent training fairs, participating in walks for different causes, giving through food drives, or partnering with ProAct Indy to help vulnerable youth, K1ds Count Therapy is here to SERVE together for all kids and families.

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Six building campus Six acres of outdoor space Three playgrounds Two large sensory gyms Multiple classrooms Home and school like settings ABA, speech, OT, PT, mental health, music therapy

K1ds Count Therapy, LLC Brownsburg, IN 1 (317) 520-4748

● ● ● ●

10,000 square foot facility dedicated to ABA and outpatient therapies Large and small classrooms Large gym and playground ABA, speech, OT, PT, mental health, music therapy

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Coming soon in Summer 2021 13 acres of outdoor space Large gym and playground Large and small classrooms ABA, speech, OT, PT, mental health, music therapy Opens July 2021

www.kctherapy.com

May 2021 • Special Needs Living

You deserve an agent that is supportive, understanding, and compassionate. Nicole Lyon is here to guide your family with your real estate needs, every step of the way.

I am proud to serve the special needs community. My career is Real Estate my PASSION is helping others with their goals and dreams. I am humbled and honored to work in the real estate industry.

Are challenges in moving holding you back from finding your next home? • Availability to work with your schedule • Daily research of the market including new construction • Setting up showing apts based on your schedule • Give you the time you need during each showing • When you find the right home I am here every step of the way and even after your close

Call today so we can talk more about ways I can help your special needs family find your next home!

NICOLE LYON

NICOLE.LYON@TALKTOTUCKER.COM WWW.TALKTOTUCKER.COM/NICOLE.LYON 10 NORTH FIRST ST., ZIONSVILLE, IN 46077

Call me today at 317.501.0639 10 Special Needs Living • May 2021

impact supporters

THANK YOU to the below Impact Supporters for helping to support Special Needs Living Magazine

Heather Gregg : 21 Vines Photography – 317-345-7687 Portrait Photographer - I love to photograph families and children. I’m available for seniors, engagements, maternity, newborn lifestyle, cake smash, headshots, extended family sessions and more!

Matt Hadley: AP Engineering & Consulting, Inc. – (317) 828-0250 This monthly magazine is free on behalf of the supporters. The Impact Supporters help us to get the printed copy out to more families. If you would like to help support Special Needs Living Magazine, please reach out to SpecialNeedsLivingIndy@n2pub.com.

May 2021 • Special Needs Living

Meet

Victoria (Tori) Turner By Rae Swift

Special Needs Planning & Elder Law Attorney

Here to help you put plans in place to give you peace of mind. Elizabeth A. Homes is a special needs planning and elder law attorney. She has been licensed and practicing law since May of 2014. Her practice at the Law Office of Elizabeth A. Homes LLC is focused on Special Needs Planning, Guardianships, Elder Law, Estate Planning, and Probate Work. This includes Wills, Powers of Attorney, Advanced Directives, Trusts, Trust Administration, Medicaid Planning, Special Needs Planning, Guardianship, and Probate. She is admitted to practice law in the State of Indiana. We ask "What If?" so you don't have to ask "What Now?"

Elizabeth A. Homes, Esq., MBA ehomeslaw.com | 317-660-5004 elizabeth@ehomeslaw.com 10412 Allisonville Road, Suite 200A Fishers, Indiana 46038

12 Special Needs Living • May 2021

ictoria (Tori) Turner, a local 19-year-old who attends a Life Skills class at Cascade High School, loves pizza, pink, and when asked what she wants to be when she grows up, answers with vet assistant. In 2015 and 2017, she represented Indiana as the Miss Amazing titleholder when she went to California and Chicago, and while making friends, earned a presidential award for doing volunteer work. She has volunteered at the Humane Society, at food pantries, and has raised money to donate to Riley Hospital. In 2015, she started putting stickers on water bottles and passing them out in Indianapolis to spread cheer; she called it Thirsty for Love. Tori also participates in several sports. Beginning at age 8, she worked with her school teacher, Miss Rippy, a Special Olympics coach. She has participated in Special Olympics swim, track, skiing, volleyball, football, and equestrian riding. Tori was also on the swim team at her high school. Tori states that some of her biggest challenges have been both making friends and how to keep friendships. She states she admires her teacher, Marlena Verheys, who works at Cascade because she is always happy and teaches Tori new things. She wants to thank her parents for helping her to be the best she can be. And her advice for others in the special needs community? To work, smile, stay active, keep your head up, and give high fives!

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May 2021 • Special Needs Living

THE ABC’S OF IEP’S This month we are going to cover the evaluation of dysfunctional behaviors and the appropriate way to address such behaviors. If we want a child to exhibit a certain behavior, and they are not engaging in that behavior, we can write a Behavior Intervention Plan (BIP) to create the appropriate conditions and reinforcement for the student to start engaging in the desired behavior.

By Sheila Wolfe IEP Services

Before we write a BIP, we must first evaluate the unwanted behavior we are trying to replace. Students do not engage in a behavior unless it is working for them. As parents and professionals, we must determine the function (the “why”) of the student’s behavior before we can write an appropriate BIP. To determine the function of the behavior, the school must conduct a Functional Behavior Assessment (FBA). An FBA consists of direct observation of the student in a variety of environments, but certainly the environments where the dysfunctional behavior exists. The evaluator collects detailed data on all behaviors observed during each period. This data must include the Antecedent (the thing that happened immediately prior to the behavior); the Behavior (what the student did); and the Consequence (what happened immediately after the behavior). By carefully analyzing the ABC data, the case conference committee will usually be able to see a pattern, which will lead them to a theory regarding the function of the student’s behavior – or simply WHY the behavior is occurring.

Do you need help getting your child with special needs the services they NEED and DESERVE at school? Professional Parent Advocate with 20 Years Experience Specializing in Developing IEPs that WORK Experienced in All Disability Categories Autism Expert Helping families receive a meaningful education for their children in public schools

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Sheila A. Wolfe Special Education Consultant

sheilawolfe@sbcglobal.net Please email for more information.

14 Special Needs Living • May 2021

Let’s look at an example. Sam is yelling at his homeroom teacher at various times during the day and is in some cases trying to kick her. Sam never acts like this with any other teacher. An FBA is conducted which reveals that every time the homeroom teacher asks the students to read anything (the Antecedent) Sam starts screaming or trying to kick the teacher if she gets close to him (the Behavior) at which time he is sent to the principal’s office (the Consequence). Now one might think that getting sent to the office would help correct this behavior. However, if we observe carefully and reflect on this pattern of data, we come to understand that Sam can’t read (or at least believes he is not a good reader) and, therefore, does not want to be forced to read aloud. Every time the teacher asks the students to read, Sam has a behavior so he can escape the demand being made. By sending Sam to the office, we are actually rewarding him by giving him what he wants…to escape the demand of reading. We can expect the behavior to continue because, as we already know, the behavior is working for Sam. In this case, the BIP would need to address the function of Sam’s behavior (escaping reading) because of a lack of confidence in his ability. Therefore, we need to develop a BIP, which does not allow Sam to escape reading but also teaches a replacement behavior. The behavior we want to see is the requested behavior of reading aloud. This could be done by allowing Sam to read aloud in a 1:1 setting while providing positive reinforcement for compliance. This would help increase his confidence while also increasing his reading ability. Obviously, if Sam needs additional reading instruction, this must also be provided. As Sam’s confidence and ability increase, he could move to a small reading group with increased reinforcement. Eventually, the goal would be for Sam to join his classmates and be able to read aloud at the teacher’s request without feeling a need to escape the situation. All BIP’s should be written to teach an appropriate replacement behavior, which addresses the same function as the maladaptive behavior. If a student is kicking a peer because they want the peer’s attention, the BIP must teach a replacement behavior to allow the student to gain the peer’s attention without kicking them. In this case, appropriate replacement behaviors would be teaching the student to greet the peer, engage in a conversation (if appropriate), ask the peer to join the student for a preferred activity (play a game), etc. It is important to collect plenty of data regarding the effectiveness of a BIP once it is implemented and make any necessary adjustments quickly if the plan is not working. An inappropriate BIP can create even more maladaptive behaviors if it is based on false assumptions about the function of the behavior and, therefore, must be closely monitored. Sheila A. Wolfe IEP Services, LLC sheilawolfe@sbcglobal.net

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May 2021 • Special Needs Living

Meet Best Buddies – M AC Y M CG R AT H A N D J O S H H A N N A You’re about to read one of the most inspiring “perspective” stories to date.

inspiring perspective

By Erin Boaz

Meet Best Buddies, Macy McGrath and Josh Hanna. Macy is 21 years old and is a senior at Ball State University. She will graduate with a degree in Applied Behavior Analysis with a focus on autism and plans to get her Master’s Degree in Special Education at Purdue University. Macy currently works in the Adaptive Program at the Monon Center in Carmel. After graduation, Macy hopes to change the world in the name of inclusion and friendship. Her dream is to share her story of friendship with others all over the country through writing and speaking opportunities. Macy hopes to own a day-center for adults with intellectual and developmental disabilities (IDD). Her vision is to create a space where they provide community service, social interactions, and creating friendships. Her goal is to have a place where others in the community can get to know the students and understand the genuine love they bring to the world. Josh was diagnosed with autism when he was 18 months old. He is now 22 years old, graduated from Fishers High School, and now attends Hamilton Southeastern (HSE) High School and is in his final year of the vocational program. In addition, he holds down two jobs: Four Day Ray and Marshall’s. Josh’s favorite TV shows are Arthur and Veggie Tales, his favorite video game is Mario, and he loves to make people laugh. Josh and Macy met at Riverside Junior High in 2012 when Macy was a peer tutor in Josh’s Special Education class. Soon after meeting, they became inseparable. They joined Special Olympics swimming and hung out twice a week for practice. Once they were in high school, they joined a program called Best Buddies. Best Buddies International is a nonprofit 501(c)(3) organization “dedicated to establishing a global volunteer movement that creates opportunities for one-to-one friendships, integrated employment, leadership development, and inclusive living for individuals with intellectual and developmental disabilities (IDD).” Josh and Macy immediately connected and their relationship has blossomed into a genuine friendship. Macy calls Josh her best friend, and he calls her his best friend. In regards to the impact Josh has had on Macy’s life, she shared with me that meeting Josh has completely changed her life. She said, “It has shown me that there are so many more important things out in the world than just me.” It has shown Macy that being a friend to someone with special needs can impact their life in a bigger way than you could ever imagine. Josh has shown her what true friendship is. I love Macy’s perspective when I asked for her insight and wisdom on their friendship. Macy said, “just because they have special needs doesn’t make them not human. They want the same things that everyone else wants – a friend, someone to laugh

16 Special Needs Living • May 2021

with, someone who loves them, someone to text and hang out with.” She goes on to say, Josh is her biggest inspiration, motivation, and supporter. He has the biggest heart of anyone she has ever met. He constantly is trying to make others laugh and feel loved, he is always laughing and telling jokes, and he is very loyal. She went on to share that they are truly are best friends and not just doing it for a requirement for a club, class, or resume. Josh supports Macy in everything she does and no matter what he tells her “good job, Macers, so proud.” Without Josh, Macy isn’t sure what she would be doing. But one thing is for sure, she can’t imagine life without him. As I write this article, I want to take a moment and share how their story impacted me on a personal level. While spending time talking to Macy, not only did my heart swell with joy, along with some tears of love and gratitude, I was deeply humbled and inspired. Their friendship emanates inclusion, acceptance, and

a level of love that is not seen often enough in this world. Keep in mind this was all a possibility because of a peer tutoring class eight years ago. Moving on to memories and funny stories. Josh likes to do just about anything from video games to playing on his computer to going on the scariest ride at Kings Island to eating at his all-time favorite restaurant, Four Day Ray. Kings Island is an annual tradition. Macy finds it funny that Josh is scared of the rides and screams his head off, but as soon as it’s over, he’s ready to do it all again. Another memory that goes down in the books is Trick or Treating together every Halloween. Now that they are older, they stay indoors and pass out candy. They keep it festive by dressing up in whatever Josh’s favorite character was during that year. Macy’s favorite tradition is their BFF Christmas tradition where every Sunday in December, they put on their pajamas and drive around looking at lights. Here are a couple more funny memories. Josh thinks that farts are hilarious…as does Macy. A few weeks ago he had a sleepover with Macy’s boyfriend and they were supposed to go to bed around 11 pm. Macy received a Facetime call soon thereafter. Josh had farted and they were both laughing so hard they were crying...at 12:30 in the morning! Josh is scared of Macy’s dog and they were trying to get a picture of Josh on her back and the dog came out and started trying to jump up on both of them. Josh was freaking out and Macy had to run around the house with Josh on her back so he felt safe that he wouldn’t get bit by her dog! Macy and Josh love to laugh and be silly. They sing and dance in the car on the way to Four Day Ray. She loves when they go on walks together and just laugh the whole time. They also enjoy doing other activities together such as swimming, bowling, the Zoo, Conner Prairie, cookouts, hanging out with her family, Holiday World, working out, and eating out (Four Day Ray is Josh’s all-time favorite restaurant!). One of the challenges with planning different activities is that it can be disappointing for Josh at times though when plans change. When it comes to challenges Josh faces, Macy speaks up, especially around the “R-word.” Macy explains that this is the hardest to witness and hearing that word just absolutely breaks her heart. She has taken a big stance on trying to end that word, “when people don’t agree or make fun of what I’m doing, it hurts. It feels like an uphill battle at times,” but it won’t stop her from spreading love, acceptance being an example of inclusion. The thing that keeps her going is remembering why it matters. She shares, “when I feel like nobody is listening to me or caring, I just remember why I fight so hard, and that reason is Josh.” At the end of the day, Macy is grateful to have an amazing best friend that makes her so happy. She realizes that others don’t get to have Josh as a friend and that’s sad because they’re missing out.

Josh is involved in Hamilton Southeastern Best Buddies and Unified Sports. While in high school, Macy was the president of Fishers Best Buddies and they participated in three Special Olympic sports together. One of the biggest accomplishments that Macy loves to brag about is how Josh won the 100m race in the Unified Track State Meet in high school. Another accomplishment is that in 2020, Macy was nominated for a Best Buddies Indiana Award and Josh was her Campaign Manager! They learned how to advocate for what we believed in all around the community. What she appreciates the most about our community is the opportunity to grow friendships and have plenty of places to do fun things. Macy summarized it all by saying, “I couldn’t survive without Josh by my side. I want the world to see how genuine and “normal” it is to befriend someone with IDD and how much it can change your life.” You can keep up with their adventures on their Instagram account @macyandjosh. They also have a website (mrmcgrath8.wixsite.com/ macyandjosh/our-story) together where they share stories, pictures, and YouTube videos. Do you have a sibling with special needs and would like to share your story & perspective in an upcoming issue of Special Needs Living? Email us at SpecialNeedsLivingIndy@n2pub.com.

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a moment of inspiration

NO, I CAN’T

By Laura Spiegel Paint Her in Color

What Happens When Partners are Wired Differently

Some of my worst moments are when I accuse my husband of not caring. Of treating our daughter’s chronic disease like a cold – something to be vaguely acknowledged but not overly worrisome. I do this not because it’s the truth. My husband is one of the most informed fathers I know, especially when it comes to our little girl’s cystic fibrosis. I do this because his approach differs from mine.

It has from the beginning. The day the pediatrician called with the news that our daughter had tested positive for one mutation for cystic fibrosis, my husband was out of town. “Don’t worry,” he comforted from afar. While I cried my eyes out alone, my husband set to work reading the medical literature and dusting off the old Punnett squares. Remember those from high school? The presence of one mutation confirmed my daughter’s status as a carrier; she needed a second mutation to have the disease. The odds of that were low. Four weeks later, we got the phone call. It was official. Our daughter had cystic fibrosis. I spent that first evening in bed, reading what I could stomach. My husband fielded phone calls from friends and family. “Was I ready to talk?” they wondered. I wasn’t. At our first appointment in the cystic fibrosis clinic, I held back tears and cursed my forgotten nursing bra. My husband peppered the team with questions that were matter-of-fact, researched, measured. I’d done my homework, too. But I couldn’t get past the elephant in the room. When did I need to quit my job so that I could spend as much time as possible with my daughter? When my husband left to use the restroom, the pulmonologist commented on our different responses to the news. My husband had already progressed into “What do we need to do?” territory. I was still stuck at “What is happening here?”

18 Special Needs Living • May 2021

Seven years later, our daughter is doing well. Her lungs are strong, and she does all the things. School, sports, you name it. My husband is now the king of the prescription refill. He can recite every medication from every distributor at every refilling frequency. He works with countless care team members and countless companies to make sure my daughter’s therapies never miss a beat. He can tell you when we will hit our out-of-pocket max every year – within plus or minus thirty days. I’m the “Did you wash your hands?” asker. The enzyme doler-outer. The respiratory therapy negotiator. The fever-checker and blood draw holder-downer and doctor’s office advocate. Some days, my daughter won’t do her therapy. I follow her for hours and get nowhere. Those days, my mind spins. What if her lungs suffer? What if she’s hospitalized for a pulmonary exacerbation in the heart of COVID season? Occasionally, my husband will tell me to “Chill out.” There is no more irritating phrase in the English language, especially when uttered from the couch. I usually respond with a surge in blood pressure and the fleeting thought that my husband doesn’t care. If I’m feeling a bit more charitable, I’ll admit to myself that he cares; he just doesn’t get it. Not like I do. Of course, he gets it. Of course, he cares. We both have our daughter’s best interests at heart; we are just wired differently. He sleeps soundly knowing that the odds of imminent catastrophe are low. I welcome a parade of “What if’s” into my bed. He is comforted by statistics. I am comforted by the eventual realization that we are doing the best we can. He is enthused by the intricacies of science and medicine. I want to know the top line

and what it means for our daughter. He gets frustrated when I don’t want to talk through things logically or comprehensively. I get frustrated when I feel like he’s discounting my emotions. Sometimes, this makes for a disconnect in our conversations. Other times, it makes for battle. A few months ago, we found ourselves particularly out of sync. Call it COVID, call it winter, call it whatever you’d like. We weren’t connecting, and our fuses seemed to shorten by the day. Here are a few things we did to strengthen our relationship and keep our wires from getting crossed.

• We committed to getting real – No more glossing over emotions; no more disengaging from difficult conversations. We are prioritizing 100% honesty when we are together. • We mixed up the caregiving routine – My husband has taken over the most stressful part of our daughter’s daily care. He now gets 60 minutes of daddy/daughter time each day, as well as a shared stake in negotiating with a 7-year-old. • We bought an erasable whiteboard for the refrigerator – Our conversations used to be heavy on the administrative stuff. “Did you remember to ______?” “For the last time, I told you I’m on it!” These days, we skip all that. I can see what my husband has done and vice-versa courtesy of a quick peek at the fridge. • We go for walks together – The Norwegians like to say, “There’s no such thing as bad weather; just bad clothes.” We’ve taken to bundling up and going for a walk around the neighborhood over our lunch breaks. It’s a great way to get out of the house, squeeze in some exercise, and talk in private. • We make dinner together – My husband and I have gotten really good at dividing and conquering. But making dinner is something we can do together. And if I ever get hit by a bus, I’ll at least know that the kids will be fed. • We try to treat one another as we would a best friend – Once upon a time, we were just friends. And best friends, at that. In that vein, we are trying to assume more positive intent, do less interrupting, and be quicker to apologize. It’s not about winning a conversation; it’s about connecting. Life isn’t perfect, but we are human beings who have chosen to embark on this journey together. My husband has the map, and I’m trying to see the forest for the trees, and one way or another, we’ll get there. We may lose some breadcrumbs along the way. We may even pelt them at each other. But we’ll get there. In the end, there’s no one else I’d rather have beside me.

“Come Touch His Cheek” By © Gary Shulman, MS. Ed. Special Needs Consultant and Trainer 646-596-5642 gary.shulman@nyc.rr.com | garyshulman.jimdo.com

This child of mine you stare at so, Please come closer so you will know Just who my child is and what I see when those sweet eyes stare back at me I see no limits to my child’s life Although I know It will be filled with strife, I’m hoping that doors will open each day I’m praying that kindness will come his way You look frightened? You tremble with fear? Come, come closer touch him my dear Touch his cheek so soft so sweet Be one of those people he needs to meet Someone who will look and hopefully see The skill, the talent The ability Please come closer You don’t have to speak Come a little closer Just touch his cheek And when you do you will see He is no different than you or me

Do you have a poem that you or your special needs child would like to include in a future issue of Special Needs Living? email us at SpecialNeedsLivingIndy@n2pub.com

Calling all individuals with special needs, parents, grandparents – If you would like to share some inspiration with the community or nominate someone else to be in an upcoming issue of Special Needs Living, email us at SpecialNeedsLivingIndy@n2pub.com.

May 2021 • Special Needs Living

meet the

Ashby family A

Paul, Lisa, Tyler & Caleb After their second son Caleb was born, Lisa and Paul Ashby learned that he had Down syndrome. They already knew from ultrasound images that he would be born with clubbed feet, but the Down diagnosis was a surprise. “Those first few months were very difficult with all the tests and doctors we saw to check out Caleb’s heart and ensure no other major medical problems needed to be addressed,” Lisa recalled. “Caleb had casts on when he was 4 days old to help correct his clubbed feet and we would go to Dr. Berrios at Ortho Indy every Friday for almost his first year of life to do the progressive casting.” Other orthopedic surgeries followed, including four tendon transfers and a tibial rotation. Caleb also needed several surgeries for his ear infections. “Those times were difficult, but we had a wonderful support system and Caleb was so strong and resilient during all of this,” Lisa said. “His strength and attitude helped us realize that no matter how difficult life seems, we can get through it.”

By Maria Smietana Photos by Heather Gregg – 21 Vines Photography

We Love Kids!

Caleb and his brother Tyler (16) attend Noblesville schools, where Caleb is on the unified track team. He has been paired up with a Best Buddies peer buddy at Noblesville West Middle School this year. “Caleb does struggle some in group settings and often will take a while to interact, but these groups have been wonderful to help him open up and participate,” Lisa said.

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20 Special Needs Living • May 2021

Two years ago, when Caleb was 10, he was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes, leaving the family with yet another set of new challenges to deal with. “We were so fearful of what was to come and how he was going to handle the insulin injections and everything else that comes with this diagnosis,” Lisa said. But Caleb again rose to the occasion. “He demonstrated his strength as he took everything in stride. He takes his insulin and carries his monitor with him. No matter what challenges come, he handles it with a caring heart.”

Caleb receives outpatient therapy services at Theracare Outpatient Therapy Services (TOTS), where Lisa works as an occupational therapist. Outside of school, he takes swimming lessons and has participated in adaptive dance classes with Kids Dance Outreach (KDO), an Indianapolis-based non-profit that gives kids of all ability levels and socioeconomic backgrounds the opportunity to participate in quality dance education that fosters confidence, teamwork, and persistence. Probably the most profound challenge that Caleb has dealt with throughout his young life is speech apraxia. Essentially, apraxia is difficulty with the strength, timing, and coordination of muscle movements necessary for intelligible speech. It manifests to varying degrees in almost all children with Down syndrome. As speech is a

critical factor in social interaction, apraxia is understandably a cause of frustration and stress for both the speaker and the listener. “Caleb can communicate,” said his mom, “but it is difficult for him to do so verbally. He does have a communication device, and his school has been wonderful with helping him learn to use it.” Like most families with a special-needs child, the Ashbys struggled with a fear of the future. “We worried a lot about inclusiveness and whether [Caleb would be] accepted,” Lisa said. “What we have learned is that the more we advocate for Caleb and allow him to show people how wonderful he is, the more people care for him. He has a great group of friends from his school who involve him and love him!” Having supportive friends and family has also helped make it easier to live through Caleb’s challenges, and both Paul and Lisa say that having an older brother like Tyler is a huge blessing, “as he does so much and is such a wonderful advocate and caregiver for Caleb.” Lisa and Paul urge families with special needs children to get involved with community organizations, whether it’s groups that serve all special-needs kids, or those that focus on a specific syndrome. “Down Syndrome Indiana and Gigi’s Playhouse Indianapolis have been wonderful resources for us,” Lisa said, “and we have met such wonderful people who have become friends through these groups.” ENABLE Special Needs Planning, LLC, a consultancy, which helps families create comprehensive plans for their child’s future and financial security, has also been very helpful to the family.

Now that Caleb is nearly a teen, the Ashbys give back to the organizations that have provided them with a lot of support over the years. “We volunteer at Down Syndrome Indiana and love to participate in the Buddy Walk,” Lisa said. She also volunteers for Gigi’s playhouse Indianapolis, where she has led fitness groups. This year, Tyler, Lisa, and Caleb are helping lead the Gigi’s kitchen group to teach basic cooking skills. It’s clear that Lisa considers her sons to be an enormous blessing in her life. Of Caleb, she says he has taught her how to live more in the moment and to be more pure at heart. “His smile will make you melt, and he has this wonderful way of making a bad day good with his hugs and smiles. He is such a shining light and brings joy to so many.” If Lisa could have one wish, it would be to help develop or open an inclusive gym and fitness center with a sports complex and dance classes all in one spot. “It would allow families to have more direct access and participate in these activities together,” she said. If you would like to share your personal or family story or nominate someone else to be in an upcoming issue of Special Needs Living? Email us at SpecialNeedsLivingIndy@n2pub.com.

Lisa noted that her family has learned over time to stress less about what Caleb can’t do, and instead focus on everything he CAN do and how special he truly is. A couple of milestones in particular have left them with joyous memories. “I honestly didn’t think Caleb would be able to walk on his own with his low [muscle] tone and clubbed feet,” Lisa said. “So the day he left his walker behind and started walking was such a wonderful day. We also never thought he would do a race but when he did his first 1-mile fun run at Disney World with us, it was such a magical day. He was one of the last kiddos to finish, but his joy and excitement had the entire spectator section cheering for him and we were all in tears. We even got an escort from Minnie mouse across the finish line!” No matter what challenges Caleb faces, the Ashbys try to lead a family life that is as normal as possible. They all enjoy running, loving on their two dogs – Bonny and Penny – swimming, watching movies, and going to Broadway shows. Caleb loves to sing and dance, so he’s particularly drawn to musicals. “His favorites are Newsies, Lion King, Shrek the Musical, and every song on the Greatest Showman soundtrack,” says his mom. “He loves Maroon 5, anything Disney, and watching scary movies.” Eating out, attending games (they’re big fans of the Colts, Pacers, and IU basketball), and even traveling aren’t much more complicated for the Ashbys than for any family with kids. Disney parks and anywhere with a beach are favorite travel destinations. They like Mexican restaurants, where Caleb usually goes for the nachos. May 2021 • Special Needs Living

Brandons World: My Journey to Mental Health

By DeAndra Dycus

These statistics are alarming and yet eye-opening. Today as you read, I ask you to join me on this journey in the world of a young man who survived a suicide attempt in January 2020. Brandon Warren is a 21-year-old black male who is currently in his junior year at Ball State University majoring in sociology. He was born and raised in Indianapolis, IN. Brandon was raised in a two-parent household with his older sister. Growing up Brandon played football most of his life. In high school he was a football stand out and had a lot of friends. Most would say he was extremely popular and well-liked among his peers. This is one of the things that most teenagers longed for. Acceptance.

The population of African Americans in the United States is 13.4%, 16% of this sector identified with having a mental illness in the last year. That is over 7 million people that have suffered from mental illness just in the last year in the African American community. According to Mental Health America:

• Black and African American people living below poverty are twice as likely to report serious psychological distress than those living over two times the poverty level. [6] • Adult Blacks and African Americans are more likely to have feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and worthlessness than adult whites. • Blacks and African Americans are less likely than white people to die from suicide at all ages. • However, Black and African American teenagers are more likely to attempt suicide than White teenagers (9.8 percent v. 6.1 percent). • Suicide by gun makes up ⅔ of all gun deaths.

22 Special Needs Living • May 2021

On the outside, many may have assumed that Brandon had it all together. However, during the interview, Brandon revealed to me that his struggle with mental health was prevalent from a young age. He said he struggled with opening up and expressing himself. He even mentioned that he sought therapeutic support on his own. He feels that the stigma in the black community regarding therapy was the reason why he had to “sneak” to get support. He believes that in the black community there is such a high stigma because mental health diagnosis is much different than a physical diagnosis, hard to pinpoint. It can’t be seen on an X-ray or scan and because there is no blood test to prove its legitimacy. This can lead to confusion and misbelief according to Brandon. According to Mental Health America, Black and African American men are particularly concerned about stigma and Black and African Americans hold beliefs related to stigma, psychological openness, and help-seeking, which in turn affects their coping behaviors. Brandon grew up seeing that and knowing that stigma to be true. After the death of his football teammate, Brandon founded “We Live Indy” to focus on youth violence, while still in high school. He was looking to have teens and politicians bridge the gap in efforts to end violence. Brandon’s work through We Live gained him national attention. Brandon began traveling the country, and even internationally sharing his message of hope and advocacy in honor of his dear teammate. Although his work was shining, Brandon found himself in a dark place as he began to navigate college life and be a standout community leader and advocate. On January 5, 2020, Brandon attempted suicide by gun. The suicide attempt set Brandon onto a new path that he never saw coming but one that caused his faith to increase and his voice to be heard in ways that he could not have imagined.

Brandon had to learn how to walk and talk again. He credits his faith in God and the support of his family and friends as the catalyst to bringing him through such a horrific injury. During this journey, Brandon recommitted his life to Christ and even wrote a new book, Be Inspired. When I asked Brandon how he was doing, he replied to me that he is fine and excited about his growth and continued journey of growing. He stated that journaling is a place to put his heart on when he can’t put that on men. He finds writing to be extremely therapeutic. He is now making all attempts to focus on the positive around him, stating that sincere people, telling and hearing jokes, and being a part of a joyful environment make him smile. He laughed often during our conversation, and that brought me joy. The heaviness of depression often takes the genuine smile from people who often have such big hearts. Brandon shared that his diagnosis of depression and anxiety brought him a peaceful understanding and that with that diagnosis, he feels that he allowed him to begin piecing together the puzzle of his journey and making sense of so many things in his life. Brandon shared that his journey has not been easy and sometimes feels displaced from society when he is feeling misunderstood. He desires to have a listening ear and not one that will come from a place of judgment. When asked what makes him cry he simply stated, “feeling emotionally neglected.”

If you know of anyone that is suffering with mental health, please show your support and not dismiss their pain. Mental health is so often ignored. Be a listening ear, share resources. Be a part of removing the stigma. If you would like to share your personal or family story, or to nominate someone else to be in an upcoming issue of Special Needs Living? Email us at SpecialNeedsLivingIndy@n2pub.com

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Brandon’s best advice to a young person who may be struggling with depression or anxiety is to never stop expressing himself in order to release his mind and put his heart on paper. He encourages them to never hold it all in, get it out safely. I asked Brandon what he would share with his younger self knowing what he knows now and he said “Never give up on being heard, one day they will listen.” At only 21 years old Brandon can truly say that the world has listened. His advocacy has led him to hosting marches that drew in thousands of people from around the state of Indiana. He has traveled as far as Costa Rica to work with other young people on issues surrounding youth violence. He has published two books and has so much greatness ahead of him. In the next ten years, Brandon sees himself working in social work with a law degree, working with youth, with an emphasis on the youth of color. Brandon states that God did not allow him to survive for no reason. He has a plan, a purpose, and a mission to fulfill. “Right now I’m like a flower in the crack of the sidewalk but I see myself continuously blooming. “

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My Story with By Matt Knight

autism

& depression:

My name is Matt Knight. For those who don’t know, I wrote another article for this publication regarding my job search in the April 2021 issue. I would recommend that you read it before this one as that article may help clarify what I’m about to say in this one. Like many other people on the autism spectrum, I have had my fair share of struggles with regards to depression and/or burnout despite all of the good things that have happened in my life.

• Working a full-time job with Amazon that I don’t really feel qualified for (though my coworkers have certainly helped with regards to training me and helping me whenever I come across an issue that I don’t fully understand).

If I am being honest with myself, I have always felt that something is different/broken inside of me. In addition, I have also felt like a failure for as long as I can remember. This feeling even went to the point where I truly thought that my life is a burden to others, though this has decreased at least somewhat since I got hired by Amazon. However, before I discuss why I think myself and many others on the spectrum struggle with depression, I think that it is fair to give a summary of what is good in my life and what I have struggled with over the course of my life.

• Growing a YouTube Channel with my brother Brad (Knight Bros Commentary) – we talk about various topics on this channel, including Autism so please go check it out.

Here is a summary of the good things in my life: 1. I have a college degree in political science from the University of Indianapolis (UIndy) and an A+ Certification for CompTIA. 2. I am fortunate to have no college and/or credit card debt. 3. I do have a very supportive family. 4. I do have a decent IT warehouse job with the many possibilities for growth at Amazon. 5. I do have some money saved in a 401(k) and a savings account. 6. No one really hated/bullied me as a kid or teenager. 7. I have traveled to many other U.S. states and even other countries (i.e. Washington, D.C., Hawaii, Florida, Pennsylvania, Michigan, Ohio, Illinois, Virginia, Spain, Monaco, Italy, Greece, Turkey, Mexico, Australia, Haiti, Bahamas, etc.). On the flip side, here is a brief summary of what I have been struggling with collectively over the course of my life (and some of the things that I’m currently struggling with collectively right now): 1. Sensory, anxiety, and sleep deprivation issues are due to having high-functioning Autism. 2. Feeling “different,” “second-rate,” or perhaps even “weak” and knowing that I can’t do anything to change it. 3. Always trying to “prove” myself and/or not make any mistake(s) (i.e. being a perfectionist and/or having imposter syndrome):

24 Special Needs Living • May 2021

• Studying for both the CompTIA Network+ and the Military Emergency Management Specialist (MEMS) exams at the same time.

• Serving in the Indiana Guard Reserve (IGR) – for those who don’t know, it is essentially a volunteer supplement/force multiplier to the Indiana Army National Guard. 4. Being betrayed by a former boss (I won’t share the details but he put me, an intern at the time, in a position that I should never have been in). 5. Possible SNRI withdrawal (against good judgment, I quit cold turkey because I really felt more depressed and angrier while on them). 6. Hypothyroidism (though this has gotten better over the past few years). 7. The death of a former wrestling teammate named Jason Sipher before my 23rd birthday (however, I will not be discussing details here as I don’t think that it is my place to do so but I do think about him almost every day). 8. Looking for an apartment. I guess at least one of the main contributing factors of my depression (if not the main one) is that I want to be as successful as I possibly can be, but I’m still struggling with how to interact with others so they may perceive me as “great” or at least an “equal” to themselves. I think that the main reason why I and so many others on the spectrum constantly struggle with depression is that we struggle with wearing a “mask” (and not those of the COVID-19 variety). Like many others, I still struggle with balancing “being myself” and trying to “belong” or “fit in” so that I don’t unintentionally offend anyone to this very day. I’ve always struggled with the cultural

message that I’m supposed to “be myself” but also very social and “one of the group,” especially when much of my natural self is seen as odd or awkward by others (and sometimes even myself). Throughout my life, I come to understand that socializing isn’t just a lifelong struggle that I and many others go through, it is essentially a “chess match” with plenty of unspoken/unwritten rules that people on the spectrum either don’t fully understand and/or accept. The idea of relying on unspoken/unwritten rules is essentially anathema to how autistic people (especially to those who are overthinkers like me) operate, as they tend to rely on true-blue/blunt honesty and direct communication, rather than subtlety and subconscious observation/analysis. While I certainly try to put on the best “mask” that I possibly can in order to hide my anxiety/insecurities, I think that most people might be able to see through it. Personally, I’m fine with eye contact, but “masking/mirroring” does take a lot of conscious effort. In addition, it also takes me a little bit longer to gather my thoughts, plan and organize myself in a way that “appears normal” regardless of what you may see. This is because we individuals on the spectrum really do have to pay careful attention to facial expressions and body language while conversing with others in order to interpret their “intent” more correctly. I also find it very hard to switch off my brain in stressful situations as well, as it just keeps on churning with no way of shutting down

or even just slowing down. As a result of this, I and possibly many others on the spectrum tend to favor solitude and quiet environments where we don’t have to process so much external “stimulation” (i.e. phones, printers, flickering lights, loud music, people constantly talking to you and everyone else, etc.). Overall, I am so TIRED of having to wear a “mask” and prove my worth to others because I’m not like everybody else EVERY SINGLE DAY. Even though it is hard not to feel otherwise, I know that I’m not alone in this. So many people all over the world have mental health issues, whether it is depression, autism, bipolar disorder, etc. so many human beings are struggling with their own issues, and the longer we continue to stigmatize mental illness, the less others will be able to see what value people struggling with mental health issues might bring and the more that these people will lead empty and unfulfilling lives.

I hope to create lasting change for all people through my YouTube Channel. I hope that it brings awareness for not only the autistic community but others struggling with mental health as well. My goal is to become as successful as I possibly can so I can hopefully be a good example for others to follow. Please subscribe to my YouTube channel if you want to follow my take on today’s hot topics.

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SANS GLUTEN By Christina McGairk

Hello, my name is Christina McGairk and I’m one of the newest writers for Special Needs Living magazine. I’m eternally grateful to Jamie McCabe for creating such a much-needed magazine in our community. I’m also grateful she let me start my own column called Sans Gluten.

RIGHT: Christina and her daughter, TiTi

Being gluten-free isn’t a fad. It is a matter of life or death for some, especially those with celiac disease. As for my daughter, Christiana, who we call TiTi, eating gluten-free did amazing things for her.

The Brain Center Comprehensive outpatient neuropsychological and psychological assessment services for children, adolescent, adult, and geriatric patients in whom impairments of cognitive or neuropsychiatric functioning are evident or suspected.

Psychotherapy for children, adolescents and adults. Neuropsychological Testing Forensic/Legal Evaluations Psychotherapy & Caregiver Consults CogMed Training Animal-Assisted Therapy

317-748-0034 braincenteratgeist.com 26 Special Needs Living • May 2021

My little girl received her autism diagnosis at 3 years old. At 7 years of age, I set up an appointment with autism care specialist Dr. MaryLou Hulseman. She requested that TiTi be gluten-free a month prior to her first appointment to see if her behaviors had changed. I’ll admit, I was a bit skeptical. I have friends who swore up and down that their kids did a complete 180 once they started eating gluten-free. Yet, in the back of my mind, I wondered if it would work for TiTi. Yet, I tried it anyway and I’m so glad I did. I noticed she was more aware of her surroundings and was more focused. I’m pretty lucky because my kiddo LOVES vegetables and doesn’t like sweets. So we started with a pretty clean slate. So basically I substituted her favorite foods with the gluten-free version. For example, we now use chickpea pasta instead of regular pasta, which TiTi absolutely loves. As for eating gluten-free while eating out, that was a bit of a challenge. Although chain restaurants are getting better at listing their gluten-free options online or have a gluten-free menu, it’s a bit tougher to find gluten-free options at smaller eateries. That’s part of the reason why I wanted to start this column. To help other parents and kiddos along their gluten-free journey by writing about gluten-free options in the community. If you know of any gluten-free businesses or ideas, please let me know. Happy reading! If you would like to share Gluten-Free tips, tricks, info, etc. in an upcoming issue of Special Needs Living, email us at SpecialNeedsLivingIndy@n2pub.com.

NUGGETS OF WISDOM

from a special needs parent Whether you are at the beginning of your journey with special needs or are a seasoned traveler, most likely you too are picking up wisdom and tidbits to help you along the way. By Carla Miller – Last month’s article featured the first four Carla Miller Coaching truths that every mother of a child with special needs knows (or should know). This month features the next four nuggets of wisdom gleaned from this unique life experience of parenting a child with special needs and the tribe of women who are mothers to these amazing children. 1) Social media is a mixed bag. While this statement is true for any mom, social media can be especially painful for a mom of a child with special needs. It can be difficult to see celebratory posts of children your own child’s age hitting developmental milestones that your little one is not close to achieving (or maybe never will achieve.). Watching the so-called “normal” life of other families who are not dealing with special needs can be disheartening. Because you know the many challenges you would face to do the exact same thing, these images and videos can cause feelings of grief and pain. But on the flip side, social media groups can forge friendships and support that moms never would have had prior to the online community format. Learning to use social media in a way that helps and not hinders, is a vital skill for the mom of a child with special needs. 2) You have clarity on what matters most in life. Awards and accolades can be wonderful. And, it’s an amazing blessing if your child is a star athlete, a gifted student, or a social butterfly. When you have a child with special needs, however, you gain an appreciation for other gifts. You recognize the gift of character. You understand that in life, it’s not so much what you can accomplish but rather how you show up. You see bravery in action every day when a child encounters a situation that causes extreme anxiety or a sensory challenge – and yet continues on anyway. You observe determination and grit when a child practices as many hours as a star athlete simply to walk or move. You are inspired by the less than mediocre grades of a child that has diligently studied for hours – only to barely pass. You recognize the power of kindness given by strangers who watch you struggle and offer an encouraging word. Experiencing life through the lens of special needs melts away the superficial and brings great clarity to what matters most. 3) There is a right (and wrong) thing to say when someone is hurting. • “At least...” • “but he/she looks so cute/normal/healthy...” • “Have you tried doing...”

As a mom of a child with special needs, you have heard them all. (And if you are honest, on the right day you may have been hurt by them all.) You now know from personal life experience that sometimes the best thing to say when someone is hurting is simply, “I’m sorry and I care.” Statements like, “I’m really sorry that you are hurting,” or “I’m sorry that this is so hard right now,” or “I really care and am always willing to listen,” are supportive, caring, and powerful. Saying the right thing when someone is hurting is a gift that brings life and comfort. 4) Special Needs is an opportunity. Very few women seek membership to the sisterhood of moms of children with special needs. And yet, once you have arrived, you eventually begin to see all the blessings that being a part of this group can bring. When you are a mother of a child with special needs, you see the world differently. You gain greater compassion to understand and accept others in this world who also may be different. And, you are not scared of those differences anymore. You have the unique opportunity to depend on God in a way that you may have never done before for strength, wisdom, and guidance. You gain a new tribe of friends and cheerleaders who spur you on, lift you up, encourage you, and help problem-solve. As a mom of a child with disabilities, you may find your professional calling, which brings immeasurable joy, as a nurse, counselor, therapist, life coach, or employee in a non-profit or advocacy group. You are also given a gift. For you recognize (maybe sooner than the average mom), that even if you are an amazing mother – that does NOT always correspond to success in all areas for your child. And that insight can be extremely freeing. Mothering a child with special needs gives you the opportunity to discover just how strong you can be – and what you are capable of doing – when you are fueled by the unbridled love for an amazing little person. And, you know deep down in your heart that you would willingly face every challenge over again because of the overwhelming love you have for your child. In summary, mothering a child with special needs is an opportunity because this journey changes and transforms YOU. It provides an entirely new perspective and lens for life. It can grow your heart, compassion, communication skills, relationships, strength, resilience, and faith. You become the best version of you. And that might be the very best gift of all. Calling all individuals with special needs, parents, grandparents – If you would like to share some inspiration with the community or nominate someone else to be in an upcoming issue of Special Needs Living, email us at SpecialNeedsLivingIndy@n2pub.com.

May 2021 • Special Needs Living

PASTOR’S CORNER

What should you and your family expect from a disability ministry? What simple services, supports, events, lessons, and care could a church be providing to individuals and families living with disabilities? Let’s take a look at some of the common offerings and programs that I have found in churches across Central Indiana.

First and foremost is spiritual care. For parents, for kids, for teens, and for adults, spiritual guidance and biblical knowledge should be the bedrock of a disability ministry. There are enough enriching adapted curriculums out there that provide a solid foundation of biblical education that every church can be teaching individuals of all learning abilities. In my home church, we use a very popular curriculum provider called Orange. For our under-18 audiences, we use this curriculum and then adapt it according to the age group, comprehension level, and even the individual. For adults seeking to grow in their knowledge and faith, there are several great curriculums out there that are not overly intellectual but can challenge even a mature Christian’s thinking. Ability Ministry and Lifeway are two of the most accepted resources, and there are even a couple of great Bibles like the Jesus Storybook Bible

and the Action Bible that take into consideration the multitude of ways in which a person could receive and process biblical materials. Our ministry creates original in-house adult curriculums focusing on Jesus and the most recognizable figures from scripture. We try to provide a strong biblical basis to each lesson and add time for prayer, communion, audio/video components that reinforce, and even visual and tactile elements that further enhance our student’s engagement and participation with the lesson. There are infinite ways in which the Bible can be related to individuals with intellectual and developmental disabilities and your church can easily find a way that works for you and them. Respite is another popular and effective way that a special needs ministry can serve families in our churches. Providing rest, recuperation, and protected community play for families is a great and fun way to serve them. I know of at least a dozen churches in Central Indiana that provide regular respite events for families and students. It is a terrific way to provide parents with a night out and a perfect way to introduce less experienced volunteers into a disability ministry environment. Our church tries to create a monthly rhythm of respite and the results have strengthened relationships both inside and outside of the ministry. This last category is populated by the most fun elements of disability ministry. Bingo nights, movie nights, service in the park, “lights up-sound down,” inclusion VBS, prom, dances, and myriad other social events aimed at creating a community of belonging are all powerful tools in a church’s arsenal of offerings to families and individuals with special needs. These events serve to sew families into the fabric of the church. If these events are hosted at the church, staffed by the church, and attended by pastoral and staff members, then the message that is sent and received is that individuals and families living with disabilities are an integral and worthy part of the church to invest in. They are also a ton of fun! Special Needs ministry is a worthwhile endeavor for all. Families and individuals are served well, and churches get to include a population that is oftentimes neglected. The amount of investment can vary greatly, but the benefits are nearly always the same. People are included, relationships are built and the results within a church more closely resemble God’s plan for His communities.

By Paul Hathcoat

AUTHOR’S NOTES – If you want to read more about the sources used in this letter each month, or hear about the disability ministries around you, feel free to contact Paul Hathcoat at the information below.

Paul Hathcoat – Special Needs Director White River Christian Church Email: phathcoat@wrcc.org Ph #: 317-840-5558 Do you have a thought, idea, or information that you would like to see in this section in an upcoming issue? Email Paul Hathcoat – phathcoat@wrcc.org.

28 Special Needs Living • May 2021

May 2021 • Special Needs Living

local

events

Events provided by : Brittany Lowe Event Executive

EVENTS

SPORTS

Down Syndrome Indiana Virtual Education Series Presented by Gordon Homes, Financial Advisor & Special Care Planner Thursday Nights on Zoom 6:30-8pmET RSVP Required. Register anytime throughout series. Link to register: https://dsindiana.org/gordon-homes-presentation/

GMR Grand Prix May 14–15 Indianapolis Motor Speedway 4790 W. 16th St. Indianapolis, IN 46222 317-492-8500 https://www.indianapolismotorspeedway.com/events/grandprix/ event-info/schedule

May 6th - Government Programs and Benefits – Medicaid, Medicare, Waivers, SSI and SSDI, Adult Child Benefits, juggling Social Security and employment. May 13th - ABLE Accounts & Guardianship – Achieving a Better Life Experience Account Advantages & Disadvantages. Guardianship, pros and cons, alternatives. May 20th - Special Needs Trusts – First vs Third Party, Pooled & Miller Trusts. Deep dive into special needs trusts, helping you avoid costly mistakes. May 27th - Life Care Planning – Planning for the future, family involvement and quality of life for your loved one. How it all comes together MUSEUMS Nickelodeon’s Dora & Diego-Let’s Explore March 16-July 11 Children’s Museum of Indianapolis 3000 North Meridian St. Indianapolis, IN 46208 317-334-4000 https://www.childrensmuseum.org/exhibits/dora-and-diego-lets-explore Oscar Robertson Legendary Challenge Now until May 28 Children’s Museum of Indianapolis 3000 North Meridian St. Indianapolis, IN 46208 317-334-4000 https://www.childrensmuseum.org/visit/calendar/view/802/2021-05-01

Is there a local event for the Special Needs community you would like us to promote in an upcoming issue? Email us at SpecialNeedsIndy@n2pub.com.

30 Special Needs Living • May 2021

Indy Fuel Hockey Games May 1, 2, 4, 7, 8, 11, 12, 16, 19, 21, 22, 23, 28, 29, 31 Indiana Farmers Coliseum 1202 E. 38th St. Indianapolis, IN 46205 317-927-7500 https://www.indyfuelhockey.com/schedule#select_team-schedule=0 Indianapolis Indians Games May 11–16th Victory Field 501 West Maryland St. Indianapolis, IN 46225 317-269-3542 https://www.milb.com/indianapolis/ballpark/faq THE ARTS Smoke on the Mountain May 4–June 20, 2021 Beef and Boards 9301 Michigan Rd. Indianapolis, IN 46268 317-872-9664 https://www.beefandboards.com/Online/default.asp Cyrano Streaming via Indiana Repertory Theatre April 15–May 2, 2021 https://www.irtlive.com/your-visit/accessibility Kite Making May 1 at 11am–12:00pm Theater at the Fort 8920 Otis Ave. Lawrence, IN 46216 https://www.artsforlawrence.com/event/saturday-session-kite-making/

Mrs. Harrison Streaming via Indiana Repertory Theatre May 6-May 23 https://www.irtlive.com/plays-and-events/ 2020-2021-season Piazzolla Centenary May 15 Clowes Memorial Hall of Butler University 4602 Sunset Ave. Indianapolis, IN 46208 317-940-6444 https://www.visitindy.com/ indianapolis-piazzolla-centenary MENTAL HEALTH AWARENESS The Emotional and Mental Understanding Campaign May 23, 2021 Session 1 – 10:00am–1:00pm; Session 2 – 4:00pm–7:00pm White River State Park 801 West Washington St. Indianapolis, IN 46204 https://www.eventbrite.com/e/ emu-campaign-fair-session-1 registration135866563549?aff=ebdssbdestsearch

National Association of Adoptees and Parents Annual Conference May 21–May 22 8:00am–5:00pm each day Embassy Suites by Hilton Plainfield Indianapolis Airport 6089 Clarks Creek Rd. Plainfield, IN 46168 https://www.eventbrite.com/e/national-association-of-adoptees-and-parentsannual-conference-tickets-70225449209?aff=ebdssbdestsearch Mental Health Advisory Council (MHAC) Quarterly Public Meeting May 18, 2021 12:30pm–3:30pm Indiana Disability Rights 4701 N. Keystone Ave., Suite 222 (Second Floor) Indianapolis, IN 46205 1-800-622-4845 for accommodations https://www.in.gov/idr/mental-health-advisory-council-mhac/ CONFERENCES Down Syndrome Indiana Conference-Virtual May 1 9:00am–11:00am Virtual https://www.arcind.org/event/down-syndrome-indiana-conference-virtual/

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Neurofeedback is a non-drug, non-invasive solution to symptoms related to brainwave dysregulation. It's natural and offers a fix to the problem, not just a bandage that masks the symptoms. "We followed the same path most of the other autism parents do with GFCF, DAN Dr., supplements, HBOT. What really made a difference in our son’s attention span, executive processing skills, and anger management was neurofeedback through INDY Neurofeedback and Leanne O’Neil." ~Maria S. (parent)

Schedule a consultation today! 8801 N. Meridian, Suite 306, Indianapolis, IN 46260 (317) 888-8500 • www.indyneurofeedback.com May 2021 • Special Needs Living

B E N ’S R A N C H FO U N DAT I O N HELPING STRUGGLING TEENS

Ben McVey spent time at a ranch in Wyoming which helped his struggles with mental health.

Ben’s Ranch Foundation is named after Ben McVey, who loved horses and was helped by time spent with them. Ben’s Ranch Foundation Founder Brose McVey has become an advocate for teens and their families, even testifying before an Indiana General Assembly committee. Ben’s Ranch Foundation internships involve a variety of animals and occur at numerous host farms, stables and ranches.

non-profit spotlight By: Kate Shepherd

Ben’s Ranch Foundation holds an annual Sporting Clays Event and Barbecue.

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32 Special Needs Living • May 2021

When Ben McVey was about 14, he began to show symptoms of serious emotional problems. At first, his parents thought it was typical teenage angst. Not Teens who take part in Ben’s Ranch long afterward, though, he was Foundation internships bond with diagnosed with bipolar disorder. animals and experience the healing benefits of nature and the sense of By the time he was a freshman purpose that comes from work. in a Central Indiana high school, he was in complete crisis. He couldn’t get out of bed; couldn’t handle schoolwork; was at constant war with his parents and siblings; and was angry, violent, and resentful. One day, Ben’s counselor told his parents, “It’s a shame he isn’t growing up on a farm. He needs to live in a very quiet, remote, isolated, gentle environment, where he can feel safe and be removed from the sources of stress around him.” Ben loved horses and to raise his spirits, the family traveled to Wyoming to visit a remote ranch where Ben’s favorite mare had family roots. Ben seemed to thrive on the trip. After returning, Ben’s father picked up the phone to ask the Wyoming family if they needed a ranch hand. It was a last-ditch attempt to try to do what the counselor suggested. The ranch family agreed to help and host Ben. That led to an 18-month adventure that made a positive impact on Ben’s life. His stay on the ranch and his time working with horses seemed to completely reset him, restore his self-confidence and renew his interest in life. When Ben returned home, he earned his high school diploma, got a job, and started attending night classes at a community college. Sadly, Ben died in 2015 at the age of 24 from an accidental overdose – ending his 10 years of suffering from bipolar disorder. To honor his memory, and leverage the healing power of animals and nature to assist other struggling teens, Ben’s father, well-known businessman Brose McVey, took his pain and grief and founded Ben’s Ranch Foundation in 2015. The nonprofit helps give other kids the peace that Ben found on that Wyoming ranch. The organization has grown steadily since it became operational in 2017. Ben’s Ranch partners with stables, farms, and equestrian facilities around Central Indiana to connect struggling teens with paid internships. McVey says the internships give the kids direction, purpose and a feeling of accomplishment – just like Ben experienced. “We are not a medical or therapy program,” said McVey. “But we provide valuable complementary assistance for teens struggling. Study after study shows that nature has a powerful effect on mental health and well-being. Many of the families we serve come to us when they are out of options and don’t know where to turn. They are grateful to have another helpful option that engages the kids’ senses physically and emotionally.”

The organization has seen demand steadily increase. “Ben’s story wasn’t unique,” said McVey. “One in five young people experience mental health issues ranging from depression and anxiety to severe schizophrenia or bipolar disorder. The numbers are quickly skyrocketing with the pandemic and the isolation it’s brought to many teens.” In fact, emergency rooms around the country have been inundated with young people in crisis. A recent national study of medical records and insurance claims by FAIR Health found that total mental health claims for those 13 to 18 years old doubled during March and April of 2020 compared to the same two months in 2019. Also in the 13–18 age group, in April 2020, major depressive disorder health insurance claims increased nearly 84 percent, and generalized anxiety disorder claims rose nearly 94 percent. In general, the 19- to 22-year-old age group had mental health trends similar to the younger kids.

Schleppi. “We believe this partnership is an incredible asset and brings our community closer together.” The results have been encouraging. One father whose son was an intern at Morning Dove said there Ben’s Ranch Foundation is proud to partner with was a pretty dramatic Morning Dove Therapeutic Riding. change in the short five months his son worked weekends there. “He’s a different kid. Before he came out here, one of the things he struggled with was self-esteem. He felt like he needed to be needed. Coming out to the ranch and doing the work that he’s done, given the responsibilities he’s been given, makes him realize ‘I can do these things, I am valuable and it’s because of me and what I can contribute.’ There’s a lot of self-confidence there.” Ben’s Ranch Foundation is steadily increasing the number of teens it serves and is currently accepting applications for internships on its website. The organization is also actively recruiting more hosts to try to fill the need. McVey says the organization is busy planning fundraising events for the year including its annual Sporting Clays Event and Barbecue on September 23, 2021, at the Indiana Gun Club. He’s also working on a new signature event designed for the whole family that will be unveiled later this year.

Brad Schleppi is the Executive Director of Morning Dove Therapeutic Riding.

One of Ben’s Ranch Foundation’s partners is Morning Dove Therapeutic Riding in Zionsville. Executive Director Brad Schleppi says the center has partnered with Ben’s Ranch to provide internship opportunities for local teens. “Morning Dove Therapeutic Riding employs Ben’s Ranch teens part-time around the farm to help with morning and weekend chores,” said

For more information on Ben’s Ranch Foundation or its upcoming events, visit www.bensranch.org, email info@bensranch.org or call 317-258-1007.

Do you run a non-profit? Would you like to be a part of the non-profit spotlight or nominate someone else to be in an upcoming issue of Special Needs Living? Email us at SpecialNeedsLivingIndy@n2pub.com.

May 2021 • Special Needs Living

special needs living – sponsor of the month

By Maria Smietana

LifeVantage

KRISTIN & ERIK RICHARDS For many, starting a new career can be the way to a more rewarding, purposeful life. It can also be part of the healing process after personal setbacks. For Kristin Richards, it was some of both.

Kristin, a native Hoosier, had gone through a painful divorce when she met co-worker Erik Richards. “We were working in corporate America for a large insurance carrier,” Kristin said, “and while we were both successful in our positions, we just had no passion for the work we were doing. We are both college drops outs, so we planned to work our tails off until, hopefully, retiring someday.” Then the Richardses stumbled into network marketing when they were introduced to LifeVantage and signed up as independent distributors. Founded in 2003, the Utah-based company develops and sells nutraceuticals aimed at reducing oxidative stress in the body, thereby improving health and extending lifespans. “Finding these amazing products truly changed not only our health but our family’s health, Kristin said. “I was blessed to retire from corporate America in May of 2018 to build our [sales] team and business full time.” LifeVantage frequently uses the term “biohacking” and in conjunction with their products, which are proprietary blends of plant extracts, vitamins, amino acids (the building blocks of proteins), and minerals. The company defines biohacking as “a desire to understand the body and mind you’ve been given and using everything at your disposal – cutting-edge technology, tools, and science – to become the best version of yourself.” “Our biohacking products help activate the body to function at its most optimal state,” Kristin explained. “These products have a proven record of helping not only our special needs children but their caregivers as well! It’s important, especially in the special needs community, that we address mitochondrial dysfunction.” Mitochondria, which are the tiny energy-generating structures within our cells, are critical to life itself. There are hundreds of genetic mutations that can cause mitochondrial abnormalities. If passed along from parents to children, serious disability results, usually in more than one organ of the body. Fortunately, most

34 Special Needs Living • May 2021

Erik and Kristin all dressed up for a team Welcome Party

genetic diseases are quite rare, and though there are no cures yet, some patients can be helped with drugs, supplements, dietary changes, and various forms of therapy. https://www.umdf.org/ what-is-mitochondrial-disease; https://my.clevelandclinic.org/ health/diseases/15612-mitochondrial-diseases. That’s where research comes in. Kristin noted that the one thing that sets LifeVantage apart from other supplements on the market is SCIENCE. The company’s literature frequently talks about nutrigenomics, which is the study of how specific nutrients, and other components in food called bioactives, interact with genes and influence how they function. “Our proprietary line is 15 years ahead of anything currently on the market,” she said. “To date, there are over 30 published peer reviews by product name. Why does that matter to you? You don’t have to trust me, but do you trust the American Heart Association? How about Harvard or The Ohio State University? Those are just a few of the institutions that have all independently studied our products and published their own findings!” Given everything she’s learned since starting with LifeVantage three years ago, Kristin still believes that the best advice she can give is to encourage potential clients to take ownership of their health. “Dig deeper, and ask more questions when starting new health protocols,” she said. “Our product line is designed to get to the root of what causes over 220 different diseases that all start with oxidative stress.”

Our beautiful blended family at Christmas

Erik and I hiking in one of our favorite states, Arizona!

Kristin all dressed before hosting a virtual gala for Fountains of Hope

When Kristin and Erik are not running their business, they are busy raising the three children that they share from their previous marriages. The kids are 12, 14, and 18. They also love to travel. “Getting away for a long weekend or trips out west to hike and enjoy the heat really fills our tank,” Kristin said.

A dream come true! This business opportunity allowed us to take our family to Europe in the fall of 2019.

Our fur babies have seven times the oxidative stress we do so we give her these products as well!

Erik and Kristin on an incentive trip to Park City, Utah

The two are also in the midst of creating Round 2 Ministries. “We have been blessed to find love and restoration post-divorce, and we’re excited to use our story to wrap around those in the pit of despair,” Kristin said. “We hope the ministry will help fill the secular voids that impact individuals facing divorce and blended families.” Kristin also serves on the board of Fountains of Hope, a charity that provides clean water, food, and education throughout the world. She’s honored to support Special Needs Living because she finds the stories to be life-giving and incredibly inspirational. “Our [business] goal is to help individuals understand how nutrigenomics can help you and your family become the best version of themselves, which allows for MORE LIFE!” Business Contact Information Kristin Richards 317-698-5264 www.round2ministries.lifevantage.com kristinrichards2019@gmail.com

Contact Kristin Richards Today!

317-698-5264 | teamrichards25@yahoo.com May 2021 • Special Needs Living

By Julie Gordon, LCSW

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Hope, Anxiety & ASD Autism Spectrum Disorder comes with co-occurring mental health disorders of depression, attention-deficit, attachment, oppositional defiant, obsessive compulsive, post-traumatic stress and the most common, generalized anxiety. Can anxiety be treated on its own? Or is it a symptom of ASD that can only improve if the core deficits of ASD improve? All of us get anxious about things that are out of our control. We use our past experiences, resources and other coping mechanisms to calm us down and push forward. When an individual has a physical response to uncertainty, excessive worry about future events or apprehension so significant that it impacts their daily functioning; they are diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. The brain’s limbic system is responsible for our stress response, “flight or fight” response and our emotions. The hippocampus, part of the limbic system is responsible for our memory consolidation. The brain’s prefrontal cortex is responsible for empathy, responsive communication, impulse control and self-regulation, morality, emotional regulation, fear modulation, intuition, insight and flexible thinking. What happens when the limbic brain is starts to panic? It talks to the prefrontal cortex to calm down and react appropriately. With therapy, individuals with anxiety can learn to access their pre-frontal cortex to provide them with means to inhibit their perceived fears or the hippocampus to pull from their past experiences to cope by remembering effective strategies. 36 Special Needs Living • May 2021

However, in ASD, not only are the pre-frontal cortex skill areas underdeveloped, but the neural networks are between the limbic brain and the prefrontal cortex are not communicating well with one another. So even if an individual with ASD could access their prefrontal cortex in times of stress, they would lack the episodic memory and the social, emotional and cognitive skills to regulate, problem solve and adapt successfully. In 2013, ASD was reclassified as a “Neurodevelopmental Disorder” due to the new understanding that the specific underdeveloped neural connections lead to a domino effect on learning and skill development. This leads to a cycle of failure and stress – a cycle that creates a significant amount of chronic anxiety. There is hope. The brain is resilient and neural pathways can reconnect! Intensive behavior therapy with a highly qualified clinician or team of clinicians, an individual with ASD can slowly become competent in problem solving, reading environmental and social cues, processing and integrating information. Then, with these positive experiences to pull from, they can practice accessing the prefrontal cortex to cope with stress under the careful guidance of trusted technicians supporting them. Mistakes and change no longer results in anxiety but inspires determination to try again.

Julie Gordon has been in the field of ASD for 19 years. She is the owner of The Hope Source and founder of Dynamic Minds Academy.

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BREAKING DOWN HEALTHCARE BARRIERS:

Allie Watson, 18 YEARS YOUNG

Who is this Young Pioneer? As the oldest of five children, Allie Watson is a natural-born leader. She is mature beyond her years and has a nurturing heart of gold. As a high school senior in 2020, the year COVID-19 changed the world, Allie graduated from high school with a 3.96 GPA. She was class President freshman-junior year. Her high school resume is impressive. She was vice president of the National Honor Society, played varsity softball and golf, engaged in show choir, advocated for Jobs for America’s Graduates (JAG), participated in Spanish Honor Society, Town Manager’s Advisory Council, and Athletic Leadership Council. Most near to her heart, however, is her role in the Jagathon: IUPUI’s Dance Marathon. Allie began fundraising for this event as a freshman and continues her crusade today, five years later as a freshman at IUPUI. She is one of 786 participants dedicated to helping sick and injured children right here in Indiana. Why is this Important to Allie? The Jagathon raises funds and awareness for the Herman B. Wells Center for Pediatric Research at Riley Hospital for Children, our local Children’s Miracle Network Hospital. Allie has committed to making an impact on the lives of the kids and families in our community who receive treatment at Riley. She continues to fundraise and participate in the Jagathon for several reasons, but primarily because her best friend’s little brother is alive and well due to the great care he received at Riley. Kolton was a patient there for months and he is now a healthy little boy who plays basketball and Fortnite with her own little brother, also named Colton. Allie, Whiteland High School 2020 Graduate, Executive Committee Jacket

caregivers & healthcare corner Canning at the Whiteland Parade – Collecting for Riley Children’s Hospital

By Lisa M. Monge MSN, RN 2018–2019 total amount fundraised announced at the marathon

38 Special Needs Living • May 2021

A common misconception about Jagathon is that it’s only a dancing marathon, but that’s just a small part. Jagathon fundraises and hosts events throughout the school year, concluding with the dance marathon, which is fifteen hours of fun! Allie shared some exciting moments that happen during Kolton M. (left) and Colton Watson (right) on the ball field the marathon, which encourages the involvement of “Riley Kids”--former Riley Hospital patients. The hosts and children learn a morale dance, listen to guest speakers, watch the children sing and dance, play games, and enjoy food! The only rule to the party is NO SITTING! In honor of the children at Riley that cannot stand, the hosts and attendees must stand for the entire event.

You are not alone. Call to learn how Connections can help connect you! We put the individual first in everything we do. We work together to create a culture of inclusion built on trust, respect and dignity. Empowering people with disabilities to create purposeful and meaningful lives by connecting clients to services and supports based on each individual's interests, strengths, and needs. We provide Medicaid Waiver Case Management and serve all Indiana counties.

Bill and Amanda Watson holding Allie, IUPUI School of Nursing Graduation, 2003

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Prior to COVID-19, Jagathon organizers would also host a candlelight ceremony in remembrance of every child who lost their life while battling illness or injury at Riley.

• Affordable

Because of Jagathon, Allie has met some of her closest friends and discovered her passion for fundraising.

• Inclusive Whiteland High School Executive

Breaking Down Healthcare Board attending Riley Convention Barriers: Then, Now and in the teaching young philanthropist fundraising techniques Future After high school, Allie expanded her passion for children and began working for the Autism Society of Indiana, providing care to two little boys. She is currently a freshman at IUPUI and excited to plan a future as a nurse. Her parents, Bill and Amanda Watson are both IU School of Nursing graduates as well! How Can you Give? Every Jagathon donation stays local and will fund critical treatments, healthcare services, pediatric medical equipment, and charitable care. Allie has a personal goal to raise $3,000 each year. If you would like to give to this worthy cause, please click on the link below: https://events.dancemarathon.com/ index.cfm?fuseaction=donorDrive. participant&participantID=732837&referrer=boundlessfundraising Stay healthy, Nurse Lisa

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Inclusive & Adaptive Art E xpe ri ences for your whole family to e njoy!

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In-Home or In-Studio Classes May 2021 • Special Needs Living

Beyond Understanding: MENTAL HEALTH

ental health is just as important as physical health. Stigma around mental illness still exists, so how can we change that? Awareness, education, advocacy, and treatment are key. Mental illnesses can affect anyone at any age – it does not discriminate in any way.

Here are some statistics from the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI):

• 1 in 5 U.S. adults experience mental illness each year • 1 in 20 U.S. adults experience serious mental illness each year • 1 in 6 U.S. youth aged 6–17 experience a mental health disorder each year • 50% of all lifetime mental illness begins by age 14 and 75% by age 24 These are just a few diagnoses that fall under mental illness: Addiction, Anxiety Disorders, Attention Deficit Disorder (ADHD), Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Eating Disorders, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorders, Personality Disorders, Post-traumatic Stress Disorders, and Thought Disorders.

Recognizing signs of mental health disorders and getting treatment can lead to recovery. I was diagnosed with clinical depression as a teenager. There were signs years before I finally got treatment. I thought I was crazy because I did not know why I was so emotional and having suicidal thoughts.

of the signs that a person may need mental health help. Any type of suicidal idealization, whether in thoughts or words, should be taken seriously. Talking about suicide will not make a person try to hurt themselves. In fact, many times talking about suicide can make a person realize that someone cares and that there is hope for a better tomorrow. Phone numbers:

There are so many children, teens, and young adults who have a mental condition not getting treatment due to stigma, lack of resources, lack of finances, and failure of adults to recognize the signs. Here is a staggering statistic from NAMI, Mental Health of America, and the Centers for Disease Control (CDC): suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death among people aged 10–34. The number one cause of death is accidents. Just think of how many lives have been lost to suicide. Males and people in the LGBTQA community are 4–10 times more likely to attempt suicide and succeed. Looking back upon my own childhood, I know that my doctor, teachers, and family did not know what signs to look for. Any changes in mood, appetite, behavior, sleep, and routine, including avoidance of people or places, are some

Girls & Boys Town National Hot-line: 1-800-448-3000 National Adolescent Suicide Helpline: 1-800-621-4000 National Alliance for Mental Health: 1-800-950-NAMI (6264) National Suicide Prevention Helpline: 1-800-273-TALK (8245) Websites for more information and support:

American Foundation for Suicide Prevention http://www.afsp.org Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance http://www.dbsalliance.org Families for Depression Awareness http://www.familyaware.org/ National Mental Health of America http://www.nmha.org/ Wing of Madness: Children and Depression http://www.wingofmadness.com/ The World Federation for Mental Health http://www.wfmh.org/ Yellow Ribbon Suicide Prevention Program http://www.yellowribbon.org/

COMMUNITY RESOURCES The Brain Center April Krowel, Ph.D., HSPP | The Brain Center (braincenteratgeist.com) scheduling@braincenteratgeist.com 317-748-0034 Mental Health Evaluations and Therapy: Continuum Mental Health and Wellness 2620 Kessler Blvd. East Drive, Suite 235 Indianapolis, IN 46220 317-762-8084 http://www.beaconindiana.com/ http://www.kresspsychology.com/ https://brainperformance-in.com/services/ https://www.bloompsychologyservices.com/

40 Special Needs Living • May 2021

KidsPsych 21444 Anthony Rd. Westfield, IN 46062 (317) 758-5125 Indiana Health Group Matthew Stach, M.S., LMHCA, NCC, EMDR Pathways to Healing 1212 Westfield Rd., Noblesville, IN 46062 317.316.3081 www.pathwaystohealingcounseling.com

Life Solutions – location in Carmel as well as in Noblesville. Fishers Youth Counseling & Psychiatry Gabriel counseling Inlow counseling All hospitals have mental health clinics for outpatient therapy and crisis intervention.

If you would like to be a part of this Pioneer Parent section or to nominate someone else to be in an upcoming issue of Special Needs Living, Email us at SpecialNeedsLivingIndy@n2pub.com.

My Personal Story with Depression –

By Angela Arlington

ANGELA ARLINGTON

hen I was a child I cried over many things that were out of my control – wars, my neighbors getting a divorce, kids starving in Asia, and other events that still occur every day. I felt like I had no control over anything in my life and when I entered junior high school things became much worse. It started off slowly with me making poor choices in friends and isolating myself at home during the summers. Then it was like a switch went off in me that I couldn’t turn off. I started to do and say things that weren’t like me at all. I wondered why I just said what I said out loud and questioned why I was being so impulsive and attentiondriven. I thought I was crazy and I didn’t want my family to lock me up in an institution, so I hid my behaviors at home as best as I could. At school, I cried all the time, but none of the teachers thought to call my parents. That is, until I threatened to kill myself over an older boy that I liked. He told the school and my parents contacted the first shrink in a long line of shrinks that began my journey of understanding what was really wrong with me. Now, it sounds cut and dry, but it was a bumpy ride over the years as I struggled with my depression. It wasn’t until I was a senior in high school that the doctor I was seeing started me on antidepressants. Over the years, I tried a lot of them before finding one that worked for a while, and after having my son I was finally matched up with one that really worked, with none of the side effects the others had. When I think of depression, I picture a well in an isolated field. I’m inside of it and trying to climb up to escape.

But the stones are slippery and I fall a little at times until I finally feel my hands grasp upon the edge of the top. Pulling myself out of the well has freed me from feeling crazy, but my time in the well was endless. Many times I would feel so close to reaching the top, only to slide halfway down again and again, until I was finally strong enough to stay out of the well. That’s how I measure life now – am I on the edge of the well about to fall back in? Am I next to the well looking down to where I spent so many years of my life? Or am I am playing in the field barely aware that the well exists? I will add that finding a therapist – social worker, psychologist, psychiatrist, family counselor, behavior therapist – can be difficult. If you do not “click” with the first person you meet, try again until you do. Signs of a good therapist are that they listen, they ask questions, they try to get you to figure out solutions, they treat you with kindness, they offer ideas to try. A bad therapist, on the other hand, may tell you what you should or should not do, may degrade you in some way, push only meds, cross professional boundaries, won’t respond to emergency calls after hours, make you feel like you are wasting time, or argue with you about your feelings. People feel what they feel and a good therapist stays neutral. Some therapists are great at offering strategies, coping skills, play therapy, cognitive therapy, and even group therapy. If a person seeking help is ever uncomfortable with a therapist, they need to speak up. Communication, verbal and nonverbal is a two-way street. I saw a few male counselors first and then

switched to females. When I started getting help, there were very few females in the field. Now it is closer to bridging the gender gap. Therapy is hard work – it takes commitment and time. One appointment is not going to make the world all better. There are so many types of therapies, coping skills, and medications out there – it can be hard to figure out the best way to have good mental health. People need to know that treating mental illness is not one-size-fits-all. There is no right or wrong way, as long as you attempt to figure out what works best for you. I have to take meds due to my brain not making enough serotonin. I am in recovery because I have positive coping skills, talk to people when I feel stressed out, get sleep, and exercise. Exercise is a big one as it raises endorphin levels in the brain to elevate mood. I am very open about my health conditions, but some people have issues talking about mental health. That is okay! People do not need to know everything about you – share what you feel comfortable with. If you would like to be a part of this Pioneer Parent section or to nominate someone else to be in an upcoming issue of Special Needs Living, Email us at SpecialNeedsLivingIndy@n2pub.com.

May 2021 • Special Needs Living

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Special Needs Living May 2021 Digital Issue

Articles inside

LifeVantage - Kristin & Erik Richards - Special Needs Living - Sponsor of the Month

Ben's Ranch Foundation - Helping Struggling Teens - Non-profit Spotlight

Hope, Anxiety & ASD

Local Events

Pastor's Corner

Nuggets of Wisdom from a Special Needs Parent

Sans Gluten

My Story with Autism & Depression

"Come Touch His Cheek"

No, I Can't Chill Out - What Happens When Partners are Wired Differently

Meet Best Buddies - Macy McGrath & Josh Hanna - Inspiring Perspective

The ABC's of IEP's

Meet Victoria (Tori) Turner

Caregivers & Healthcare Corner - Allie Watson

Beyond Understanding: Mental Health

My Personal Story with Depression - Angela Arlington

How to be involved in Special Needs Living

Publisher's Note

Meet the Ashby Family - Paul, Lisa, Tyler & Caleb