Pastor's Corner - Adulthood, Now What?

By: Paul Hathcoat - White River Christian Church

If you find your special-needs child recently finishing school or finally reaching their adulthood, the road ahead can be cloudy and unfamiliar. What does their future hold? What options do they have? Can independence be the goal? These questions and so many more are facing many families in our communities. Let’s talk about some ways that you can empower your children toward advocating for themselves and still be a supportive pillar in their journey.

Transition to supporting their individual personalized goals:

(Luke 18:16- “Jesus said, ‘Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them, for it is to such as these that the kingdom of God belongs’”.)

You have been the one to advocate for your child since the beginning. You have set up the appointments and worked with the therapists and partnered with the schools and doctors to create plans for advancement into the future. Now, as with any parent, you may find much more success for everyone involved if you see yourself as an advisor instead of the boss. In simple terms, help your child find their own voice. Help them dream about their life ahead and in whatever way you can, let them lead toward it.

Find more, targeted services and supports that are available for your young adult.

(Romans 12:5- “so we, who are many, are one body in Christ, and individually we are members one of another.”)

Your community is your biggest ally. There are probably many more supports and services available than you know. At my church, White River Christian in Noblesville, for example, we have options for young adults to get to know their savior, connect with their peers, attend a college-like program, build employment skills and job expertise, and find value in volunteering and serving in their areas of giftedness. Go out and meet as many people as you can and talk to them about what opportunities they know of, what their children are doing now, and who else is looking to welcome people with disabilities into their businesses, programs, churches, and clubs in your community. The more trees you shake, the more fruit ends up at your feet.

Seek those who have gone before you.

(Job 32:7- “Those who are older should speak, for wisdom comes with age.”)

Connect with those who have been through this phase of life with their children. Find out about strategies and methods that worked for families already. Are there social media groups and parent support groups in your area? Are there ministries and non-profits locally that include in their network those who have been through this phase of life? Be transparent about your child’s capabilities and future goals and start asking for experienced peers to help you redefine what success looks like for your child and the life they want to live. Be humble but fearless in learning from others.

Lastly, pray and seek the counsel of God.

(Jeremiah 29:11- “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”)

We can agree that God has a plan for your child and their life. We may not understand initially, and we may never feel like we have fully uncovered those plans. Let me assure you though, that God wants to bless your child and use them to serve the people in your community and to bring His kingdom more glory! That, we can pray for. That, we can seek to get clarity with. In that process, we may also find the peace and strength to make it through these transitions with grace and even joy.

If there is anything we can do, don’t hesitate to reach out and ask us to join you on this journey. Blessings to you all on your journey to unlocking your child’s future!

Paul Hathcoat Email: phathcoat@wrcc.org Ph #: 317-840-5558

Do you have a thought, idea or information that you would like to see in this section in an upcoming issue? Email Paul Hathcoat – phathcoat@wrcc.org.

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