your stories. your words.
This publication was created with the purpose to demystify the myths and stereotypes of recreational drug use and drinking. The following stories are honest accounts from students of the University of Sydney, and in the interest of the genuine representation of the author, have been published as they were originally submitted, without any editing whatsoever.
Content Warning: Peer pressure, suicidal thoughts, paranoia, vomiting, connotations of rape, drink spiking, abusive relationships, trans identities, binge drinking, bipolar, depression, excessive bleeding, panic attacks
2 / ………………………………………………………………………….Welfare Action Group
I would like to acknowledge the land on which this publication was written, edited and distributed is that of the Cadigal people of the Eora nation, who are and always will be, despite the persistence of colonialism, its sovereign owners. We, as non-Indigenous Australians, recognise our complicity in the ongoing dispossession of Aboriginal land and seek to always support Aboriginal peoples in their struggle for equality, autonomy and freedom. Sovereignty was never ceded.
Written: Students of the University of Sydney Artwork: Wanyi Xin (Cabbage) Formatted and Published: Eden Faithfull Email: welfare.officers@src.usyd.edu.au Facebook: ‘University of Sydney Welfare Action Group’ 3 / ………………………………………………………………………….Welfare Action Group
contents. 6…/
Being ‘That Girl’
Getting Through the Day With Prescription Drugs
7…/
Enjoying the Moment
Going Along to Fit In
8…/
Sepia Stupor
9…/
The Second Time Was Different
11…/
Your Addiction Harms Those Around You
12…/
The Scariest Night of My Life
13…/
What I Imagined Woodstock Would Be Like
14…/
Lighting the Darkness
15…/
Getting Home Safe
17…/
Dangerous Experimentation
18…/
From Self-Discovery to Celebration
29…/
Done With Hermann’s
From Fun to Scary
20…/
Making My Own Judgements
My Opinions on Drugs
22…/
Moderation is Key
23…/
Ivy Pool Bar is the Worst
24…/
Drug Information and Counselling Services
25…/
Acknowledgements
27…/
Getting Involved
Drugs Without Judgement
m
4 / ………………………………………………………………………….Welfare Action Group
5 / ………………………………………………………………………….Welfare Action Group
being ‘that girl’ …/ Age 21 Gender Female What was your experience with? Alcohol Your Story Drinking the 'right' amount has always been a bit of a challenge for me. Many times I've become 'that girl' that is drunker than everyone else - downing 10 drinks instead of 4. Not sure what's worse, the shame that floods me the next morning when I reflect on how annoying my drunk self is, or feeling like I can't have a good time without drinking that much. I went sober for a while to get some perspective and it made me feel boring and out of touch with my friends. Drinking is such an integral part of socialising but sometimes I worry that I have a small problem…
getting through the day with prescription drugs …/ Age 16 Gender Female What was your experience with? Drugs Your Story I haven't had any experiences with illegal drugs, really not interested in ever trying them but I definitely have had issues with prescription and over the counter drugs since I was like 10 which I don't really think gets enough attention. I'm addicted to a strong allergy medicine which makes you drowsy and have so much difficulty sleeping without it which is obviously a massive issue. Same with over the counter drugs, I suffer from endometriosis which makes my periods like labour pains, I have to over dose on panadol and neurofin for days on end every few months just to get through the day without being curled up on the floor, I'm too scared to get anything stronger as stuff like endone really fucks you up. There's my story. Not very pleasant.
DO YOU OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW HAVE A PROBLEM WITH PRESCRIPTION DRUGS? GET HELP AND PUT AN END TO THE ISSUES THAT PRESCRIPTION DRUGS GIVE RISE TO. CALL THE ADDICTION HELPLINE ON 1-866-569-7077
6 / ………………………………………………………………………….Welfare Action Group
enjoying the moment …/ Age 21 Gender Female What was your experience with? Drugs Your Story Best experiences in life with mdma in its pure form. It makes you connect with others and see things more sharply and enjoy each moment more. I've never had a bad experience with E. I've had a bad experience doing acid with someone else because they were aggressive and assaulted me and made others uncomfortable. But the vast majority of times have been great. I feel its a big problematic to categorise alcohol as different from other drugs. I really like this idea though guys! :)
going along to fit in …/ Content Warning: Peer Pressure Age 21 Gender female What was your experience with? Drugs Your Story Peer pressure is strong. I vowed to only drink alcohol and to not do drugs at uni (after a small phase of cigarettes and joints in high school). I have a lot of gay male friends, and now having amyl when we go out seems to be mandatory. I feel like the odd one out already (by being a straight girl) so I go along with it to fit in, but it goes against the standards I try to hold myself to.
7 / ………………………………………………………………………….Welfare Action Group
sepia stupor …/ Name Anhar Baloch Age 21 Gender Male What was your experience with? Alcohol Your Story Alcohol, the social lubricant. That’s what it’s called, although for my money perhaps only because paranoid memories can slip slapstick-style into a coma, even in a crowd of doomsayers. It is with some irony then that I tell this tale of drinking for one (where’s the crowd of doomsayers?)… Having not been a regular to the presumably debauched fantastical weekends of most suburbanite teenagers, when my turn did come to be gregarious, I had slipped the mark. Meaning I was a dolt. Meaning I had no friends when I returned to school (TAFE) after deciding to drop out. In the strict sense of it, I may have had a hanger on or a passer-by but not a friend in sight. Already feeling slighted that I had missed said crazy teenage life, I wasn’t going to let the lack of communion stop me from at least making up for one half of my teenage misses. The drugs, if not the popularity. Alky was the only thing that I could purchase 1) cheaply and 2) with minimal shady stranger interaction required. From the fountain of Aldi came the corked casket of two-penny pizazz. “But seriously, do people enjoy the taste?” I may have mouthed to no one in particular at some stage. Drinking in between half attended HSC classes of this, that or the other was rebellion enough but also fruitful of forced acting lessons. Pretending to be sober when others were attempting to get high in the back was laughable. It wasn’t a daily thing, so thankfully I passed those classes well enough. Now at the very least I can say that I have inhabited all of life’s potholes fairly and in even stead.
8 / ………………………………………………………………………….Welfare Action Group
the second time was different …/ Content Warning: Suicidal thoughts, paranoia Gender Male What was your experience with? Drugs Your Story Drugs were, at a time, a part of my life. I had started smoking pot some time late in Year 10, and it was never a gateway to depravity, it was never obstacle to my dreams, it didn’t destroy my family. Years later, I took LSD. It was incredible. Nothing could compare to the feeling of watching the sun emerge out of a rainbow while your brain was getting fried on a combination of acid and Funkadelic’s ‘Maggot Brain.’ Acid made you see things in a different way. There was no life changing moment, but it was fun: my friend started to look like a mix of Buddha and Chairman Mao, the table looked like a screensaver, and chilled grapes tasted really good. That was the first time. The second time was different. Eight hours on one tab – LSD was a full work day. Someone passed a bong around and I took a drag to kick it on. I was having a great time, chatting, listening to music. We were comfortable. It was a nice house. Gradually I felt like my head was falling, and then I’d bring it back up, only for it fall again. It was happening in a loop. I didn’t know what was going on, and I kept looking to my friends to see if they were reacting. They kept looking at me suspiciously, like I knew something they didn’t. I could hear them talk about me without moving their lips. The conversation became faster, until I realised it was just one person talking about me, inside me. I got up to walk around the giant backyard so the feeling would go away. I went back to the table and sat down. I realised it hadn’t gone away, so I went back to the yard, and then back to the table. I started to run between each location. My friend said to another: “He’s having a bad trip,” and that’s when it hit me. I ran back to the yard, freaking out. I lay on the grass to feel grounded, a better sense of being in my body. I didn’t. I wondered if I was dead. I thought I was dead. I tried to solve maths equations. Maths was logic, and logic was real. Made up numbers and signs started appearing in front of me, moving towards me and crashing into my skull, exploding. I started to walk around again. I remember going into the house to collect myself. I looked at the TV, and The Simpsons was on, and Sideshow Bob was laughing maniacally. “I have to get out of here.” I kept telling myself it was the drug, but this wasn’t the drug I had imagined. It was nothing like I had predicted. The scariest part was how lucid everything was. Nothing was hazy, so I remember it well. I wish I couldn’t. There were times when I felt so low in this bad trip that I felt like killing myself. I saw a knife in the kitchen, and picked it up. I heard the cars outside and felt like running into the traffic.What stopped me was wondering how people would react. As stupid as it sounds, I didn’t want to give LSD a bad name. I didn’t want to be one of those deaths you heard about on TV. I put down the knife. I went to bed. I had to get used to it. I lay there, looking at the wall, at the hallucinations that danced casually in front of me. Soon, I fell asleep to the sounds of the others still tripping and having a good time. I felt fine the day after, but melancholic. It was a disturbing experience; one I wish I never had. I had flashbacks for months after, not of any particular hallucination, but of the feeling of detachment from the world (known as “depersonalisation” or “derealisation”). Whenever I smoked marijuana after this, paranoia and dissociation would return. I had to stop. I’m not against drug usage, but they’re made for some and not others. Drugs are no longer a part of my life. This story was submitted to us by the author, who previously wrote it as an Honi Soit article, published on October 15, 2013. 9 / ………………………………………………………………………….Welfare Action Group
10 / ………………………………………………………………………….Welfare Action Group
your addiction harms those around you …/ Content Warning: Abusive relationship, panic attacks What was your experience with? Drugs Your Story I dated someone for 2 years who was a huge Marijuana addict. Everyone has this assumption that it isn't addictive, but it absolutely can be. He would smoke it at least 5 times a day, and at first hid it from me. Then it became too much to hide. He smoked so much he did permenant [sic] damage to his frontal lobe, and his short term memory was terrible. He was angry and nasty whenever he was sober and if he didn't have access to weed he would start screaming at me and throw things. I eventually gave him an ultimatum after too much hard work trying to make him stop. I left. Drug addiction makes me angry and is selfish. If I watch a movie such as walk the line, which portrays drug addiction I'll have a panic attack. Your addiction harms those around you.
drug use without judgement …/ Name Matthew Anderson Age 27 Gender Male What was your experience with? Drugs Your Story Like many people, I smoke weed occasionally. It's fun, but it doesn't run my life. I don't like the fact that some people in my family may think less of me for it, but they're old and out of touch, and I stopped caring about the approval of others a long time ago.
11 / ………………………………………………………………………….Welfare Action Group
the scariest night of my life …/ Name Zoe Age 22 Gender Female. What was your experience with? Drugs Your Story I was never a huge ecstasy user, in fact i only started taking them on a regular basis when i met my boyfriend. Take note that I have anxiety and very bad asthma – I need my inhaler with me and certain things can trigger my asthma until I cannot breathe. Most times were fun i guess, dancing, running around clubs with black eyes and doing what people on pills generally do. The comedowns were awful though, i would fall into a deep depression for the continuing week after taking the drugs. The worst experience with drugs was yet to come, we bought some pills that were from Europe, they were twice the size as normal pills and twice the dosage as well. Knowing that I am a lightweight with drugs, I only took half (equivalent to one pill) and it hit me like a truck. At first it was okay, very intense, my head was swimming and I felt as though I was floating, light and tingly – a sign of a good pill, but all of a sudden I felt as though my chest had caved in and I couldn’t breathe. I am used to my eyes rolling when I am on, but my eyes started flickering and rolling back into my head so quickly that I was unable to see properly and it hurt to look at any kind of light. I didn’t know what was happening and I felt as though I was having an extreme asthma attack and found it hard to breathe. My boyfriend and friends put me in a taxi, and whilst in the taxi I was lapsing in and out of consciousness. I kept hearing them shouting to take me to the hospital, but I was able to say “no! no!” very defiantly- I needed my asthma puffer which was at home. I stopped breathing. My boyfriend had to physically pull me out of the taxi and give me CPR to get me breathing again. I don’t remember much, I do remember my eyes hurting and rolling and the need to fall asleep, and getting slapped in the face every time I went into consciousness as to not fall asleep. This continued on for maybe the next half an hour until my asthma puffer was retrieved and my breathing became steadier, I was rolling for the next 8+ hours in a way that I felt was very intense and my body actually tried to shut down on me. Im not entirely sure what caused this reaction, maybe my body could not handle the intensity of the drug and sent it into shock mode. I cant say. Since then, ive been terrified to take MDMA, it was the scariest night of my life.
exorcising the demons …/ Content Warning: Vomiting Gender female What was your experience with? Drugs Your Story One time I ate 6 weed brownies and drank 3 glasses of wine and vomited each one up by chucking 9 times. I felt like demons were being exorcised from within me and repeatedly told myself that you can't overdose on weed but you can choke on your own vomit. I look back on the experience with fondness. 12 / ………………………………………………………………………….Welfare Action Group
what i imagined woodstock would be like …/ Age 19 Gender F What was your experience with? Drugs Your Story On December 31st 2012 when I was 17 I hosted a New Years party of which I knew about 2 of the 30+ guests. I'd decided that I really wanted to try weed (it was important that I did it before I was 18-for future me biography's sake) and got my friend to get someone to bring the goods. I got high at my parent's apartment with a group of people I'd just met and ended up making more friends in that single night than I had in any single night before that or subsequently have since. The person who brought the weed and got me high is now one of the best friends I have and everyone proclaimed it was one of the best new years parties they'd ever been to. Despite the neighbours below complaining about cigarette butts landing in their garden and a group of boys trying to 'crash' the party it's been one of the favourite nights of my life. On December 31st 2014 when I was 19 I decided to up my game and try acid. I dropped with three of my best friends at a music festival around midday. I was a little tentative as to how much I should have but my friends were all experienced and ensured me I'd be fine. The first hour felt a little weird with a tingling tongue and an uneasy tummy. I didn't know if I was feeling anything, except that everything looked a little bit prettier. After returning from the bathroom (and having made the fated mistake of looking at my reflection-I saw a red face with manic eyes and purple frizzy hair) I impetuously told my friend that her eyes were like rainbows to which everyone assured me I was definitely 'feeling it'. The rest of the day was bliss. All my worries faded away and I felt as though this is what Woodstock would have felt like. In fact, here is the exact note that I wrote in my phone in the midst of my trip- 'You can see all the patterns of nature and everything is like a universal oneness and everything works together perfectly in time with the music. Exactly what I imagined Woodstock would be like. There are colours in everything.' All that spiritual jargon I'd heard finally made sense and the word 'oneness' which I'd thought was a phoney pretentious statement seemed to hold some currency. I felt slightly bad that I was temporarily escaping all of my problems with a tiny square of paper but it was one of the only times in my life where I lived truly in the moment without worrying about the future or the past. I'm definitely still more of an experimental than recreational drug user and believe in enjoying experiences while sober, but from good and bad experiences with different drugs I've learned that, done safely, it can be nice to slip into an altered and less refined state every now and then.
13 / ………………………………………………………………………….Welfare Action Group
lighting the darkness …/ Name Ed Age 23 Gender ID as a man What was your experience with? Drugs Your Story My story with drugs begins at a time I can't remember, and continues to a time long after the end of this vignette. Of course, I'm stoned right now. Tonight, I've bathed my chickens, mopped my kitchen floor, scrubbed my bathroom, had a bite, and looked at my timetable for tomorrow. I'm now listening to some Dylan and sparing a moment to share my story. I remember the first time I tripped acid. I thought I had ascended to a glorious land in the sky where eccentricity and intrigue reigned supreme. I remember all the hours- or years- it seemed like years, since, just staring at the clouds or the patterns on the walls. The first time I tripped shrooms I danced so hard that I almost flew. And the first time I got high on MDMA I fell in love with life at a time when I thought there was no love left in the world. I do drugs often. I educate myself about the risks, remaining careful to avoid the propaganda of a drug-negative culture whilst heeding the insights of hard science. I'm functional. I'm productive. I have my tumbles and sometimes habits become dangerous. But this is a dangerous world and we need to learn to navigate it safely. Drugs can be an exciting, therapeutic, and helpful part of that process, just as they can become a scary, destructive, and dangerous part. Every story has more than one side and sometimes it's better to light the darkness than to fear the unknown.
m …/ What was your experience with? Drugs Your Story m This entry looks a lot like like a technical mistake, however I decided to include it in the interest of representing everyone who submitted. Also because it could just possibly be a very insightful commentary on their experience of drugs. Who knows.
14 / ………………………………………………………………………….Welfare Action Group
getting home safe …/ Content Warning: Connotations of rape, drink spiking, vomiting Name Madison McIvor Age 20 Gender Fearsome Female What was your experience with? Alcohol Your Story I won’t be buying tickets to the Law Ball again, and it’s not because they’re ridiculously priced at $110 a head. It’s because on a night when I was supposed to be able to enjoy myself, celebrate my hard work and have fun with my friends, my confidence in my ability to ensure my own safety was instead shaken to the very core. My drink was spiked just before the after party, only, I realised this after having been slipping in and out of consciousness in the Bungalow 8 bathrooms for about half an hour after I arrived. When I realised what was going on, I made myself throw up in an attempt to prevent any more of the drug being absorbed – I had no control over my legs, so I had to destroy the poor sanitary bin, clearing the flap each time I filled it up. A true picture of glamour on the night of the Law Ball, knickers at my ankles and all. I was lucky. Other girls in the bathroom helped get my boyfriend, who carried me outside into the second cab we found. The first one wouldn’t take me because of the state I was in, despite the hoard of law students shouting, “That’s fuckin’ illegal, take her home!” even when to them, I probably just looked drunk instead of drugged. The next day, I found scabs and blood blisters all over the tips of my toes. They’d dragged along the street as my poor, worried boyfriend supported all of my weight until we found a cab – I still had no control over my legs. The doctor said it was probably rohypnol. I felt like shit for a week, but I was lucky. I had always been so careful with my drinks, and although I don’t blame myself, I replayed the events I could remember from that night over and over in my head for months. Of course, it could have been worse: the intention of the perpetrator was likely horrific. To the prick who spiked my drink: you didn’t get me, I got you – and now I’m telling everyone so they can protect themselves from your breed of idiot. I refuse to live my life on the defence, I’ll still go out and have fun… but I’ll always have sisters in the girls’ bathroom to support me and people in my life who will carry me home, and I hope all my readers do, too. Surround yourself with people who build you up, support you and love you: they are great friends and they’re stellar support systems when things go horribly wrong and you need a loyal hand. Thanks, Christian, for carrying me, and thanks to all the law students who shamed that cab driver instead of judging me for being what looked like a trashy drunk – because even if I am drunk, I still deserve to get home safe every time.
15 / ………………………………………………………………………….Welfare Action Group
16 / ………………………………………………………………………….Welfare Action Group
dangerous experimentation …/ Age 20 Gender Female What was your experience with? Drugs Your Story This story is not about my own use of drugs, but rather the effect it has had on myself and my family. I grew up in a quiet suburban neighbourhood, and attended a quiet suburban school. I was never subjected to difficult or painful experiences, and as far as I was aware, life was easy and uncomplicated. About half way through my teenage years, my brother began his first year of university, which would also become his first year of ‘experimentation'. He 'experimented' with new people, new experiences, and new sensations. Most of these paths led him to 'experiment' with drugs; particularly marijuana. I was told later by a friend of his that “the trip would always hit him the hardest, he would get more stoned than anyone else in the room”. At first, I never noticed his strange behaviour or the thick, musty smell that would often exude from his bedroom. I knew next to nothing about drugs as it was. It wasn't until he became so erratic and abnormal that I was forced to notice; as was the rest of my family. His 'experiment' with vegetarianism was soon taken to extremes, until my brother became so obsessed and paranoid about the food he ate that there were days where he couldn't bring himself to eat at all. His 'experiment' with spirituality became obsessive as well, as he began to meditate for hours on end, refusing even to speak - at detriment to his university work, his social life, and his health. One night during one of my final years of high school, the phone rang at about a quarter to twelve. Minutes later, my mother burst into my room and told me that my brother was in hospital, having been driving under the influence of a cocktail of Ecstasy and Acid. After a tearful twenty minute drive to the St Vincent’s Hospital, we find - almost impossibly - my brother to be completely unharmed and waiting for us, sobbing. We later discover, however, the passenger riding with him (also under the influence) was being treated for more serious injuries, and that they were both seconds away from hitting a young pregnant woman and her infant daughter when they lost control of the car and careened off the road. By the time I had graduated from high school, my brother had been admitted to a psychiatric facility and diagnosed with anything his multitude of doctors could use to explain away his dissociation and frequent breaks from reality: ADHD, Autism, and the most terrifying: Schizophrenia. The only thing that was uniformly agreed upon by every medical professional was that his drug use was the leading cause of his behaviour and subsequent illness. Although this is not the story of everybody - or even most people - who ‘experiment’ with drugs, it will always be my own, my brother’s, my mother’s and my father’s. Because it is us who have had to deal with the aggression, the mania, the depression and the collective anxiety and helplessness that the consequences of drug use leave behind on you and your loved ones.
17 / ………………………………………………………………………….Welfare Action Group
from self-discovery to celebration …/ Content Warning: Binge drinking, trans identities, bipolar, suicidal thoughts. Name Andy Zephyr Age 23 Gender Bigender aka. genderqueer trans woman. What was your experience with? Alcohol Your Story I don't drink alcohol anymore, and my body and mind has begun to heal from the times I did. I begun drinking at 16, which was considered late by most people at my school. Alcohol caused me to lose senses of anxiety, and propelled me well away from depression into what I know now as a manic state. I'd feel free and lively, able to mentally engage with people much easier after a few, and after a few more I would lose the crippling fears of how I was perceived by others. I was drunk when I decided to come out publicly as transgender, and got up at Kelly's on King to sing Shania Twain's "Man, I feel like a woman". I was drunk when I first engaged with repressed thoughts of sexual and mental abuse I've been subjected too, which previously lived locked away inside myself, to never come out. I got drunk to celebrate the win of becoming President of the UTS Student's Association at UTS. All of these things resulted in the same, completely selfish AND selfdestructive tendency that always begun minutes before the hangover: believing I should take my own life. The depressive effects of alcohol, combined with the fall down from mania, meant that these three very different situations - from self-discovery, to trauma, to celebration - all ended with me wanting to not be alive. Interestingly, their is one other thing it does, it makes me incredibly horny. My suggestion is to people who suffer with mental angst, try being clean for a while. I changed my vice to cake and political organising instead of drinking. This comes with it's own set of problems, but at least it's not (as often) death potential. Smoking still hasn't left me, but like my removal of alcohol from my life, it's slow and steadily going away. Don't hesitate to try something new when your current situation isn't working out as well as you want it too.
18 / ………………………………………………………………………….Welfare Action Group
done with hermann’s …/ Age 20 Gender Male What was your experience with? Alcohol Your Story Political organising is all about alcohol. When is it never not? When do I get to make connections and become socially supported by these communities? Clearly I don't, I'm not a big drinker, nor will I ever be. My dad's alcoholism ruined our relationship, and I'll never be able to drink a beer without remember all the smashed glasses, destroyed family outings, or the constant embarrassment when bringing my long-term girlfriend home, I have to disengage my father from being a sleazy misogynist to her. It seems I'll never truly engage as an activist or a student politician, until someone creates an alcohol-free faction. If I have to see one more group of hacks heading to Hermans it'd be too soon. Cut out the drugs and alcohol in these spaces, cus it's not something my body can handle, and perhaps it'd be better to check out how yours is currently doing.
from fun to scary …/ Content Warning: Vomiting, depression. Name Helena Age 18 What was your experience with? Alcohol Your Story I witnessed alcohol used as a coping method by both my sister and I to deal with our abusive mother. The impact on me as a 13 year old sitting up until 4am hoping my sister wouldn't drown in her own vomit has been quite big. When alcohol is used to cope it goes from fun to depeessing amd [sic] scary extremely fast. I don't drink when I feel down or anxious now. 19 / ………………………………………………………………………….Welfare Action Group
making my own judgements …/ Name Paige Age 18 Gender Female What was your experience with? Drugs Your Story I grew up with heroin addicts as parents. Seeing them destroy themselves with drugs, I promised to never experiment and was even cautious of alcohol. Now that I've grown up however, I will just about to anything I can get my hands on (in moderation of course) and I don't know if it's just because I am older and can make my own judgment of drugs or if it is because I'm so exhausted and have stopped giving a fuck that my morals have just gone out the door? Either way I'm not proud of what I do but also I don't really care, besides, it's fun idk :/
my opinion on drugs …/ Age 19 Gender Female What was your experience with? Drugs Your Story Not my personal experiences, as such, rather those of a friend. I went to a pretty conservative high school and am lucky to come from a really grounded family, so the only 'exposure' I got to drugs was during PDHPE classes. Once uni started, it was a whole different story. A guy and I who study the same degree met at the beginning of last year during lectures, and we quickly became good mates. During semester 1, he would occasionally smoke weed. Initially, I was so firm that all drugs are addictive. It took quite a lot of him convincing me that weed really isn't that bad for you, and that it takes you into this "amazing world" that you can't experience in any other way. After some time, there was a part of me who believed what he said. Semester two took off, and we were back to uni, but this time round, he was really different. He had short term memory loss, he would often forget things I would say. Basically, he never really seemed "with it", as such. Always a little disoriented. He told me about how he gets the youth allowance, but just spends it all on weed. Drugs are pretty bad, at least in my opinion. And all drugs are definitely addictive. People go on about the amazing feelings one can experience by taking drugs, but I think they have a seriously negative effect on not only the individual's life, but also those around them. I won't ever believe that drugs are in any way good. That is my opinion, and of course, everyone is entitled to their own.
20 / ………………………………………………………………………….Welfare Action Group
21 / ………………………………………………………………………….Welfare Action Group
moderation is key …/ Content Warning: Vomiting Age 24 Gender Male What was your experience with? Drugs Your Story I first started using drugs regularly early in 2012 when I got back from exchange. I was pretty wary at first, but after doing a lot of research on the safety of different recreational drugs I decided to give it a go. My first experience was with acid. I went with my best friend to a house of apparently cool people. It was an intimate, safe environment and it ended up being one of the best things I ever did. My creativity flourished and I drew pictures I never thought I could. I believe it was from this point that I stopped being apathetic. I was suddenly able to have a strong opinion on world issues and my politics developed rapidly. Later that year I took MDMA for the first time. Again, it was in an environment where I felt safe. It kicked in very suddenly and felt emotions I had never felt before. I finally knew the true definition of ecstasy. Everything was a joy and I felt nothing but love for everyone around me. I had used weed before, but it never really took my fancy. The effect it had on me was never really pleasurable. All I felt was paranoia and laziness. I found myself saying embarrassingly stupid things, which didn’t work well for my anxiety. I would always just end up eating way too much food and suddenly passing out in inappropriate spaces. I continued to use acid and MDMA for a while since the experience with those drugs was always pleasurable. But after a trip to remote South Australia my attitude changed. I took two very strong tabs of acid and had a terrible experience. This was triggered because one of my friends there suddenly felt sick and once I heard vomiting in the bathroom it was impossible for my state of mind to return to normal. I became overly existential and everything became terrifying. I tried to focus on the moving patterns in the wooden walls and the swirling clouds in the sky, but nothing worked. I came to a sudden realisation that I was independent and alone and it felt awful. I only got through it by telling myself that it was just the drugs and it would be over soon. I didn’t eat anything the entire day. My acid use since then has declined and the dosage is always much lower. My last MDMA experience was also unpleasant. It was very strong and it hit suddenly. The party I was at became unbearable and I had to leave. Two friends took me to a park while I waited for it to wear off. My eyes felt like they were going to escape from my skull. I said stupid things and my anxiety suffered greatly. I’ve since taken a break and my mental health has improved dramatically. I feel very stable. I probably won’t stop completely, because it is still fun, but at least I’ve learnt that moderation really is the key.
22 / ………………………………………………………………………….Welfare Action Group
ivy pool bar is the worst …/ Content Warning: Description of excessive bleeding Name Anonymous What was your experience with? Drugs Your Story During my gap year I worked in hospitality to save for an overseas trip, and I hung around with the people I worked with who incidentally liked to go to a local hell-hole commonly known as The Ivy. Specifically, these people liked to go to Ivy Pool Bar on the top level of The Ivy complex, because the higher you go the lower the standards. Anyway, one night after work finished early the rest of the bar team and I headed out to meet some other people who were celebrating a birthday at Ivy Pool Bar. Let me set the scene on exactly what Ivy Pool Bar is. It’s a significantly “Bougie” literal watering hole filled with boring, good-looking yuppies who fork out extreme amounts for not only entry fees but exorbitantly-priced beverages served in yellow and white plastic cups by nymph-like suntanned backpacker-bartenders who are paid to sling drinks whilst wearing denim booty shorts and crop tops the size of popped balloons. All the while contributing to the ‘Ouvre’ of luxury, decadence, sun and seediness Justin Hemmes, CEO of Merivale, the mother company of The Ivy, has become known for. Oh yeah and there’s a small pool there. Now, apart from the fact that this is obviously the worst place on the planet apart from Kings Cross’ World Bar, I shouldn’t go to Ivy Pool Bar because it does things to me. It makes me believe that I’m a rock star, which is essentially its aim, and I begin to act like one. Within five minutes of gaining free entry into Pool Bar because someone I was with knew someone on the door or something, I was in the line to the loo because large amount of pretty people make me nervous and when I get nervous I need to pee. Some lovely young gentlemen in the line in front of me struck up a conversation about the terrifyingly Nazi-like architecture of the toilets (everything is massive) before ducking into a stall together and beckoning me to join them with conspirator’s “I’ve got drugs” grins. Now, I should mention- I don’t condone what I did at all. It was incredibly dangerous and stupid and not at all what I would do these days now that I’m older and wiser but I used to get my kicks by living irresponsibly whereas now I consider writing a really good chapter of my thesis or watching my cat fall asleep in funny positions thrilling. Long story short I did cocaine with the young men who turned out to have both lovely personalities and large drug problems. As soon as one of them snorted a large line of coke his nose immediately began gushing blood all over the floor and basin, and I shrieked as he waved his hand nonchalantly and pinched his nose closed “It happens all the time” his blonde, white toothed friend shrugged “It just means he has to lick it up”. Which the dashing, if slightly bloody man did, hoovering up the remainder of his line with his tongue like a bathing kitten. My nose and gums tingling, I made my excuses and got out of there stat, dragging my friends into a cab and making them promise me they would never take me to Ivy Pool Bar again. That place is gross. 2/10.
23 / ………………………………………………………………………….Welfare Action Group
drug information and counselling services. Alcohol Drug Information Service (ADIS) NSW ADIS is a free, anonymous, confidential NSW statewide telephone service. ADIS provides education, information, referral, crisis counselling and advice about illegal drugs such as heroin, ice and cannabis, and the problematic use of legal drugs such as alcohol and prescription medication. Available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week Sydney Metropolitan: 9361 8000 Website: http://yourroom.com.au/ Family Drug Support 1300 368 186 24 hours a day, 7 days a week Support for families faced with problematic drug use. beyondblue 1300 22 4636 24 hours a day, 7 days a week Support for depression, anxiety and related disorders. CounsellingOnline http://www.counsellingonline.org.au 24 hours a day, 7 days a week Free alcohol and drug counselling online
24 / ………………………………………………………………………….Welfare Action Group
thanks. Thank you firstly to everyone who submitted their stories for this publication through the temperamental SurveyMonkey link I provided, due to a lack of technical knowledge and general crowdsourcing know-how. Without you, I could not have possibly provided such an engaging and thought-provoking collection of stories to share with those in need of genuine experience or advice. Thank you to the other three officers of the 2015 Welfare Department, Luciano Carment, Ivana Radix and Sarah Enderby for your input into this publication. Your optimism and words of encouragement during those three weeks where nobody submitted anything and I thought this entire idea was a complete failure were invaluable. Thank you to Wanyi Xin (Cabbage) for creating such beautiful artwork to offset my zealous use of clipart throughout this publication. On this topic, thank you to my search history for providing amusing interactions with anyone who used my laptop and saw ‘black and white cannabis clipart’ ‘black and white drugs clipart’ ‘black and white ecstasy pills clipart’ ‘black and white pharmaceutical apparatus clipart’. Finally, thank you to clipart for never failing to actually turn out images pertaining to the niche subjects I searched. Thank you to every single person who picked up a copy of this publication and actually read it. I hope that you liked what you saw, and that maybe you learned something about the use of recreational drugs that you didn’t know before. Your interest and attention is truly appreciated.
no thanks. All those people I messaged on Facebook in a desperate attempt to get someone to submit their stories, who said they would, but never did. SurveyMonkey for being difficult and confusing. Microsoft Word for being difficult and confusing. Default spacing tools for being difficult and confusing. Gender-based wage gaps. Spence.
25 / ………………………………………………………………………….Welfare Action Group
26 / ………………………………………………………………………….Welfare Action Group
getting involved. The Sydney University Welfare Action Group was started in 2015, and seeks to engage all students of Sydney University, both domestic and international, from first year students interested in student welfare, to activists looking to make a valued difference in the wellbeing of their university and peers. The purpose of this group is to create an open and inclusive forum for students to voice their opinions on the state of student welfare, share their thoughts and ideas on taking positive steps towards making the University of Sydney a safe space for all students. It is a space in which you will be able to interact with the USYD Welfare Officers and participate in campaigns to create a more inclusive and supportive campus for yourself and others. In the Semester Two of this year it was converted to an online collective, located at the ‘Sydney University Welfare Action Group’ page on Facebook. It would be wonderful to see an even greater variety of students joining the Welfare Action Group and contributing their thoughts and ideas for future campaigns, or even seeing what the group has to offer for them. Reading these submissions and publishing this handbook has given me such immense pleasure and a sense of pride in the students of this university, as I know that we, as conscientious students, will proudly carry this Action Group into the years to come and expand it so as to actively engage new students with an interest in welfare. If you are interested in leading a campaign or discussing your ideas with the Welfare Officers, please join the Facebook group, or if you would prefer speaking more privately, email us at welfare.officers@src.usyd.edu.au. We would be more than happy to interact with members of the student body and help to create solutions to any issues that you may have with your university experience.
27 / ………………………………………………………………………….Welfare Action Group
28 / ………………………………………………………………………….Welfare Action Group