Bella Grace Issue 17 by Stampington & Company

Finding Your Wild 56 Unique & Life-Changing Apps Infusing Calm Into your Workplace 40+ Little Milestones Worth Celebrating The Anti-Hustle

S TA MP IN G T O N & C O M PA N Y SEP/OCT/NOV 2018 DISPLAY UNTIL 11/26/18

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B E L L AG RA CE MA GA ZI NE . CO M

FOUNDER & CREATIVE DIRECTOR Kellene Giloff publisher@stampington.com EDITOR-IN-CHIEF & DIRECTOR OF PUBLISHING Christen Hammons bellagrace@stampington.com SENIOR MANAGING EDITOR Amber Demien ASSISTANT SENIOR MANAGING EDITOR Danielle Williams ASSOCIATE EDITORS Evelyn Mateos ART MANAGER Erin Solis

how to contact us Bella Grace ® 22992 Mill Creek, Suite B, Laguna Hills, CA 92653 U.S. Toll-Free (877) 782-6737 Phone: (949) 380-7318 Fax: (949) 380-9355 bellagracemagazine.com CUSTOMER SERVICE For customer service and subscription inquiries, please call U.S. toll-free (877) 782-6737, fax (949) 380-9355, or email retail@stampington.com, or visit our website at bellagracemagazine.com EDITORIAL Please see the submission guidelines on our website at bellagracemagazine.com. Brief email inquiries are welcome at bellagrace@stampington.com, or write to the editor at the address above. No phone calls, please.

ASSISTANT ART MANAGER Eirene Nguyen JUNIOR GRAPHIC DESIGNERS Danielle Bucur Nichole Martin Lindsay Wiley DIRECTOR OF PHOTOGRAPHY Johanna Love NEWSSTAND CONSULTANT PSCS Consulting GENERAL MANAGER Jonathan Giloff CUSTOMER SERVICE MANAGER Alondra Marin MARKETING MANAGER Jordan Burnier MARKETING GRAPHIC DESIGNER Ximena Mendoza

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Bella Grace ® (ISSN 2377-9950) is published quarterly by Stampington & Company, 22992 Mill Creek Drive, Suite B, Laguna Hills, CA 92653-1245. Periodicals Postage Paid at Laguna Niguel, CA and additional mailing offices. POSTMASTER Send address changes to Bella Grace ® c/o Stampington & Company, 22992 Mill Creek Drive, Suite B, Laguna Hills, CA 92653-1245. Changes of address must be submitted in writing to the publisher. Stampington & Company will not be held responsible for missed issues due to delinquent changes of address or vacation holds. Publications Mail Agreement #40045993. Return undeliverable Canadian addresses to: P.O. Box 2601, 6915 Dixie Rd, Mississauga, Ontario L4T 0A9 Canada

Bella Grace ® is a trademark of Stampington & Company LLC. Product names referred to in this issue are trademarks or registered trademarks of particular companies. The names are used in editorial fashion only to the benefit of the trademark owner, with no intention to infringe on the trademarks. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the publisher. Copyright © 2018 Stampington & Company, LLC. All Rights Reserved. ISSUE 17

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Dear Friends, H

ave you ever found that the buildup to doing something you don’t want to do is always much worse than just doing whatever it is that needs to be done? I can be a terrible procrastinator when it comes to my personal life. A few bowls and forks in the sink will turn into a heaping pile while I sit on the couch thinking about how much I don’t want to do the dishes. One load of laundry turns into my husband and I digging deep into the dark areas of our closet, looking for any clothes that are clean. A routine checkup with a doctor gets delayed for longer than I want to admit. While all of this procrastination is taking place, I build up how awful all of these things will be when I finally get to them, without acknowledging that I’m the one making everything worse. I’m quickly learning how amazing it feels when you finally do the thing you’ve been putting off. A sense of calm washes over me as I put the final dish in the drying rack and as I put that final pair of socks away in a drawer. And when I walked out of the doctor’s office after putting it off for way too long, I wondered why I didn’t go in sooner. You see, I had put off finding a new doctor for an embarrassingly long time. As time continued to pass, I kept telling myself how much the new doctor would shame me for not visiting her sooner. However, a promise to my parents that I would take better care of myself made me finally make an appointment for a checkup. As the day of the appointment approached, I was getting increasingly anxious over it. I was embarrassed and nervous, and I really only had myself to blame. The day of the appointment came and went. The doctor was nothing but kind and commended me for finally taking that step. I left her office with some paperwork for additional routine tests and a huge weight lifted from my shoulders. Why is it so hard for some us to just do what needs to be done? Especially when it comes to something for ourselves? I urge people to take care of themselves

all the time, but often have a hard time telling myself the same thing. We put things off for so long, build them up to be something absolutely awful in our minds, and then when we eventually do them, everything is just fine. We usually even feel better for having finally checked off that item on our to-do list. Is there something you’ve been putting off for no good reason? Perhaps you’re feeling lazy, or maybe just anxious. If there’s a particular task just lingering in your life, allow me to urge you to take care of it. You’ll feel better once it’s done.

g done,, To ggettingg things

Christen Hammons Editor-in-Chief BELLAGRACEMAGAZINE.COM

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Table of Contents

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Sentiments

Simplicity of the Mind by Kaetlyn Anne Kennedy

A Chapter in the Bella Grace Story by Elle Harris

Taking up my Fair Share of Space in the World by Shelli Snyder

40+ Little Milestones Worth Celebrating by Our Readers

Missing the Days of Bad Photos by Beth Pantuliano

Autumn Impressions by Sylvia Stefanova

Until That Call Comes by Alishia Forcinio

Instagram Spotlight: Mary Elizabeth Robinson

Mama on a Solo by Kate Ballantyne

One Book, One Page, One Day at a Time by Tina Zarlenga

How to Find Your Wild by Cassandra Key

An Act of Radical Self-Care by Tammy Strobel

A Drop in the Bucket by Betsy Kay

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48 Moments When we Feel Our Strongest by Our Readers

Instagram Spotlight: Tanya Moon

Infusing Calm (and a Bit of Magic) Into Your Workplace by Larynda McKay

Something Like Happy The 100 Happy Things Project by Christen Hammons

15 Things to Savor Slowly by Emily Shearer

102

Within & Without by Doreen Wallace

108

56 Unique & Life-Changing Apps by Our Readers

120

Cultivating Camaraderie by Holly Clark

128

Instagram Spotlight: Shelley Rounds

130

A Homage to Then & in Honor of Now by Jennifer DeVille Catalano

136

The Anti-Hustle by Paige Leigh Reist

140

In Quiet Nooks by Deborah Bennett

142

Tips for Making your Writing Come to Life

152

Submission Guidelines

154

Prepping for Print

156

Photo Credits

159

About the Publisher BELLAGRACEMAGAZINE.COM

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Sentiments

As a nurse working at two hospitals, I don’t have a lot of time for myself. I’m either driving from one place of work to the next, or I’m sleeping. I love serving others and believe that’s what I’m meant to do. However, every three months I clear an afternoon for myself. I put on a pot of coffee (I go through a lot of it), grab my favorite mug, put my feet up, and open the newest issue of Bella Grace. For just a few hours I’m immersed in a world of stories written from talented women around the globe. It’s like a visit with old friends. —Kathryn Wallace

Suzie Ree Yamille Trivas

I’m not sure if I consider Bella Grace to be a magazine. Instead, I see it as more of an experience. It’s like a collection of exercises, stories, and inspirational quotes. I see magazines as something that covers more trendy or current topics, and I think Bella Grace is timeless. I can pick up the very first issue and it still speaks to me. — Maureen Holland

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Lena Onate

Thank you, thank you, thank you for the gift that is Bella Grace. I could never put into words that I felt was missing from my reading life, and I’m still not sure I can. But when I picked up my first issue of Bella Grace on a whim, I instantly knew it was what I needed. Thank you for the work you and your amazing contributors do. — Betsy Walhoun

@her.love.for.books

The first time I saw Bella Grace I was taken aback by the price. The cover pulled me in, though, and once I felt the quality of the magazine, I understood. The paper and cover are so deliciously thick. What you’re making is truly a high-end product. — Molly Getman

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Simplicity of the Mind

Words & Photographs by Kaetlyn Anne Kennedy

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have been doing pretty well simplifying the physical aspects of my life. I’ve gotten rid of a ton of clothes, simplified my beauty routine, and cut down on the things that I own. I thought I was doing pretty well, but for some reason I still felt surrounded by clutter. I was desperate to get rid of more, but no matter how many shirts I stacked in my give-away pile, it wasn’t satisfying that itch. That’s when I realized: I’m simplifying my home but not my mind. The previous year was huge in my simplifying journey in a physical sense. That is why a lot of my New Year’s intentions were centered on simplifying mentally and internally more so than externally. Both are equally important, because they piggyback off of each other, but the mental simplification is where I am in my journey and what I need most right now. Maybe you are feeling the same way. Here are a few things that are helping me simplify mentally. By implementing these small changes, I have more room to breathe and simply life fully without feeling pulled in a million directions.

1. Letting Things Go

I’m that person who cannot — cannot — sleep until everything is done. I have to have a clean room, close my closet door, and make my bed before I get into it to go to sleep. I do like being this way for the most part because I enjoy having a fresh start to my day each morning. But there is a line and I need to be able to determine whether I need to tone it down a little. If I had a really long day and I’m super exhausted, I need to choose to go to sleep even if there are dishes in the sink and clothes on the floor. And not lay there thinking about the dishes or the clothes! I have a hard time turning my brain off at night and not thinking of the thousands of things I need to do the next day. I have to stop feeling guilty if I don’t finish every single thing on my to-do list. It feels great when I do, but I am not a failure if I don’t. That’s life. Things happen. Sometimes you take a nap instead of writing a paper. It’s OK because that’s just life. » BELLAGRACEMAGAZINE.COM

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2. Fewer To-Do Lists

You know it’s bad when you’re about to shower so you write “shower” on your to-do list just so you can cross if off when it’s done. The satisfaction is addicting. Now I’m not saying I’m getting rid of to-do lists completely. Me without lists is like doughnuts without sprinkles, spring without flowers, Instagram moms without their shaker pegboards. You get my point! But I’m using them less and making them less of a big deal. In the past, I would never be able to get through my day without a list. But now, I almost feel as though I’m more productive when I write a short general list of things I need to get done in the day, instead of writing every little detail. This, for one, leaves me more leeway for changes in my schedule and also avoids the “Oh no, I didn’t finish my to-do list” feeling. I’m still experimenting with this and finding what works, but I know something needs to change.

3. Unwinding At Night

Like I said before, I have trouble turning my brain off at night. I recently saw something on Pinterest about what Meyer-Briggs Personalities think about before they fall asleep. I’m an INFJ, and mine said “anxiety about the future and the inevitability that they will grow old and become corrupt, another cog in the capitalist machine. How many will be consumed in this entirely hypothetical hedonistic warpath? The INFJ does not sleep.” It made me laugh because that’s me! Why I feel I need to plan my entire life out before I go to sleep, I don’t know, but it gets annoying. Something I’m doing to help is really taking time to unwind at night and think about other things. I will turn off my phone at least an hour before I go to bed. I take time to write about whatever is going on in my head in my journal, and when I close that journal, I forget about it. Tomorrow’s tasks, today’s stress, it’s all out of my mind. Then I pick up a book and lose myself in that world for a bit before I go to sleep. This way I can go to sleep thinking about happy things like Cole Sprouse instead of whatever stress the next day may bring.

4. Starting My Day Right

I’ve had a general morning routine down pat for about a year now, but having a routine means nothing if it’s not the right one or put together in a way that suits your needs. These past couple weeks I’ve been really trying to nail down a routine that works for me and makes me feel good because I’ve realized that what I’ve been doing doesn’t work. My mornings look a lot different than most people because of life with Theodore. And I know that may sound a bit dramatic because he’s just a bunny, right? But I have to be on full mom-mode whenever he is out running around, ready to spring up and chase him away from whatever he’s not supposed to be doing. You know, bunny mom things. Ever since I adopted him, the first thing I would do in the morning would be let him out of his crate because I wanted him to have as much exercise as possible. But lately it just hit me that this doesn’t work. I can’t start my day peacefully with a cup of coffee and Jesus if I have to be interrupted by the sound of him chewing a million times. So, I’ve started waking up an hour earlier and taking that hour to myself before I let him out. And I’m trying my best not to feel (bunny) mom guilt when I walk past his crate at 6 a.m. to get my coffee instead of letting him out. Nothing has changed for Theo, he still gets the same amount of time out each day, and a more strict routine is better for bunnies anyway. So I think this is good for both of us. 10

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As you can see, these are small changes that are making a huge difference in my life and my mind. Although having a simple physical space does make a huge difference mentally, sometimes there are still some changes that have to be made in your routines and rhythms. This is why I tend to prefer the words “simple living” rather than “minimalist” because it reminds me that simplicity must be infused in every aspect of my life, not just my home. Kaetlyn Anne Kennedy lives in Cleveland, Ohio. To learn more, visit kaetlynanne.com, and follow her on Intagram (@kaetlyn.anne). She welcomes email at kaetlynkennedy@gmail.com.

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P ROMP T

As Kaetlyn makes clear,

itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hard to live simply when your mind

is also full of clutter. What are four things you can do to create more

simplicity in your mind?

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Studio Firma BELLAGRACEMAGAZINE.COM

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A CHAPTE R I N THE

Bela Grace Story Words by Elle Harris

here are very few experiences I’ve had in my life that have left me wordless. In fact, I would guess that I could count on one hand the number of times it has happened. Words are sort of my trademark, and finding myself without them is somewhat akin to standing lost on a deserted road. But wordless was exactly where I found myself recently, and I’m still not entirely sure that I can fully process the gravity of being lost in that moment. For some time now, Bella Grace has been an instrumental part of my life and my writing career. It started with a love affair … the thick pages of prose and poetry sweeping my reader’s heart off its feet. Later, I had the beautiful opportunity to have multiple pieces published, and was then featured on the affiliate blog, Grace Notes. From sitting poolside or fireside and curling up with the company of Bella words, to penning my next piece for submission, I thought I’d loved the magazine fully before. As it turns out, I had barely scratched the surface of what Bella Grace means to me. One of the greatest benefits of being a part of the Bella Grace family has been all of the people I have met through her pages. I’ve followed and been followed by countless other writers, photographers, and artists through this publication, and the connections have organically grown into a lovely

ordinary ife can e xtraordinary and at agic can e ound n e veryday.” And yet, I had no idea how true it all was, until I met Michelle.

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Milles Studio

extension of the mission, “An

Shortly after being published in the Fall 2016 Issue, I began following a fellow Bella Grace author and poetic gourmet kitchen owner on Instagram: Michelle Gerrard-Marriott of The Vibrant Kitchen and Home. I was enamored with her work, her words, and her mission; I quickly found myself “liking” almost every one of her posts but never commenting. One day, I decided to take the two extra seconds to tell her how much I appreciated her post, and she replied almost instantly by telling me how I was an inspiration to her and that my words had helped her endure. I had no idea what she could have meant, but thanked her, knowing full well her poetic posts were the real treasure. A few moments later, I received a message from her that set me on that speechless road. Michelle went on to tell me about her beautiful best friend who, at 28 years old, was taken by cancer. She said that when Katrina (her friend) was in her final days of hospice, Michelle would read my poem from Bella Grace “Remembering Light,” to her, over and over as she rested. She said that she will never forget her smile as she read. How are there words to follow such an admission? What thanks could I possibly offer? Unbeknownst to me, my words were being used to soothe, to calm, and to carry her spirit as it crossed from this life to the adventure waiting beyond it. ere

could ever e a iterary accolade ore eaningful an eing n at oment.

When I finally did catch my breath from crying, and catch my words from escaping me, I wrote back to precious Michelle. I asked her to tell me all about Katrina, and when she did I asked her permission to write a poem, once again, just for her. After a few days, and countless prayers that I would be able to honor Katrina’s memory properly, I sent Michelle a piece titled “As She.” »

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Michelle replied that she was now wordless, but that she had sent the piece on to Katrina’s mother, who said that the poem was a “timely gift” for her wedding anniversary that day, her birthday, and Father’s Day that Sunday. She thanked me over and over again for the gift, not realizing that being able to know Katrina and Michelle — to know their friendship so intimately — has been an incomparable blessing. I told Michelle once that her story made me think of my favorite quote from author Robin Behn, who said, “Read to me at the end, if there’s time. And if I fail to understand, read to me anyway.” In her next response, Michelle told me that this passage was one of her favorite quotes, and that she had it hanging near her bed. At this point, how could I not believe in magic? How

could I ot ave ai at ordinary days can ecome xtraordinary? How could I not believe in the story of Bella Grace?

Alita Ong

May Bella bring you beyond the pages of a beautiful magazine and into the relationships that live across the country, beyond the borders of miracles, and into whatever comes next.

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As She She was a life like no other a part of this world by circumstance, … not substance … too exquisite to ever really belong in the confines of ordinary days Breathtakingly radiant, hers was not a beauty one could be jealous of, because when she was with you she shared herself so completely that you became beautiful too She was the vibrance of every story read or told and the storm behind every calm her spirit equal measures of chaos and grace And I miss her everywhere She was the sister I danced under the moon with the kindred echo of my thoughts the hand I didn’t know I needed to hold until she was holding it the voice of adventure when reason had no claim the master of every plan the tether to all that made sense when nothing could She was the star I always followed home With every breath, even her last, she gave everything and I think sometimes that is why she had to leave Her soul was so light, that heaven itself became her gravity And yet even now, after she has left her first destiny for her next she is with me her smile ever unclouded and fixed in my mind And the memory of her is a firework show – every day of her life the grand finale She cast her radiance, her ethereal, effervescent glow upon all of those fortunate enough to be her audience And so she will always be – the golden sparkle hanging in the air, imprinting her beauty against the sky leaving this life with a trail of light … unforgettable … as she Elle Harris is a believer of impossible things. She is a lover of words, wonder, and the whimsical delights of everyday living. Caught in the creative place between reality and imagination is her favorite place to be. Please join Elle in pursuing life with intention and grand conversation on her blog, thisquotablelife.wordpress.com. Find Elle on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter (@ElleHarris82).

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‘‘And into the forest I go to

lose my mind and find my soul.’’

Aleksander Novoselski

— John Muir

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TA K I N G U P M Y

Fair Share of Space \` ƤX ad^W Words by Shelli Snyder Photography by Briana Morrison

hen I was a little girl my favorite princess was Sleeping Beauty. I collected all kinds of Aurora paraphernalia, as little girls do, even through my first couple years of college. I loved her kindness, her patience, and, most of all, her obedience. My high school English teacher clicked her tongue and said, “Shelli, choose a more dynamic heroine!” But I idolized Aurora. She followed all the rules, so nothing bad ever happened because of her bad choices. I admired that with a desperation I can’t even articulate. Like many college students who really don’t know what they want to do with themselves, I majored in English. If you’re reading this and you majored in English because you knew exactly what you wanted to do with your life, I would have given a lot of things to be you. I watched you walk around campus with your delighted confidence, and I even took notes on your comments during class. I knew I loved words, and truth wrapped up in beautifully crafted essays and stories, but I still really had no idea who I was. My sophomore year I had a brilliant professor who called me into her office halfway through the semester. After greeting me kindly we chatted for a few minutes, and then she gestured to a stack of papers on her desk. My papers. All the essays I’d written for her class over the last two months. “You write well,” she told me. “But you’re timid. Your theses are carefully constructed to leave readers no room for doubt or argument.” My face felt flushed. I felt like she was about to hand me an image of my own heart pieced together from my own work, and I was petrified. I thought I’d hidden myself better than that. “I do that, I know I do that,” I responded, almost in tears and feeling the silliness of it. »

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I remember what she did next so clearly. She took off her glasses and scooted her chair closer to me. Then she brushed back her wild gray hair, looked in my eyes, and said, “Shelli, you need to take up your fair share of space in this world.” All I could do was stare at her and blink back my tears until I could whisper something like, “I can do that.” Claudia, if you’re out there, you changed my entire life that afternoon. She wasn’t telling me to be aggressive with my opinions; she was just giving me permission to have them. She was giving me permission to be myself without apologizing for it.

\`VX ƤTf WTk äƟ UƜ` a` T cgXef fƣ ^\Ɵ fƣ ƤX Ɵdk Uag`WTd\Xe aY _k ai` eb\d\fK If I were forced to guess, I would guess that you, dear fellow reader, are kind. I would guess that you are conscientiously trying to make your days as harmless as possible. I do too, and I safeguard that kindest part of myself. What I’ve come to discover, though, is that my own eagerness to do no harm can be a sneaky stumbling block to living the authentic life I crave. I really hate that. So now when I want to do something I think might cause a stir, I pause and question my own motives. The raging Facebook post I didn’t write about that woman at Costco who criticized my mothering didn’t need to be said. I was just mad. But if I hadn’t made that comment at book club about divorce, I’d have felt like I was trying to be someone I’m not, so I spoke up. I ruffled some feathers, but I made new friends as those feathers smoothed back down. f iTe egV[ T dX^\XY fƣ ƞX

ƤTf W\eTZdƜ_X`f WaXe`äf [TƟ fƣ _XT` W\e^\]XK Being an authentic wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, and human being is messier than I thought it would be. There aren’t precise rules to follow; I just have to be the kindest version of my true self and let that be enough. I find that infuriatingly difficult sometimes, but there’s no other way. Aurora isn’t real. ƣL UXTgf\Yg^

iad^WL fT]X gb Ƥ\e _gV[ ebTVXK Y Ug_b \`fƣ kag ä_ fdg^k eaơkL T`W \Y kag Ug_b \`fƣ _X äƢ fafTƢk YadZ\Ɵ kagK Shelli Snyder is 5 feet tall and has four daughters. She is a gregarious introvert with big dreams and an irrational phobia of the mystery stains in library books.

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Lumina

40+ Little Milestones WO RT H CE L E BRA TI N G

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When we think of milestones, we often think of big birthdays or anniversaries. We like to think milestones can also be something smaller, like the day you decided to stop covering those gray hairs that just keep multiplying. Big or small, there are so many moments in life worth celebrating. We asked our readers what milestones they’ve recently celebrated and were touched by all of the responses. We feel honored that you shared some really amazing larger ones with us, and we’re rejoicing right along with you. Here, we’re sharing our favorite smaller milestones that have recently been reached.

Navigating through airports across the U.S. on your own later in life. After never traveling alone, I succeeded in doing this on my own. The freedom is scary at first, but after lifting my luggage into the overhead compartment, I realized I can do this. — Marcy McCallister

Watching fruit grow for the first time on a peach tree I planted. Eating the first ripe blueberry of the year out of my own backyard. Watching my son tie his shoe. Watching my daughter hit her first home run. Realizing I am my favorite company to keep. Finally getting a good night’s sleep.

— @jesseihde 3.

Going on a retreat by myself at the age of 70. I traveled alone for the first time to Kauai, renting a car and finding my way. It was very empowering for me. — Patricia Mark

Because of a nickel allergy when I was a kid, I was unable to wear braces. At 40 years old, and through the miracle of technology, I am rocking braces for the next 22 months. — Brandi Truesdel

I joined a small community chorus in January of 1987. I have now been in the group longer than anyone except for one person. When I hit my 30th anniversary with the group, I marveled at the swift passage of time and was so very pleased and proud to not only still be a member, but to be a part of something that has grown exponentially into something marvelous. — Virginia Lincoln BELLAGRACEMAGAZINE.COM

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Michela Ravasio Igor Madjinca

I’m celebrating my first art show at 58! I’ve always painted, but never allowed myself the belief that I was anything more than a hobbyist. The fact people want to pay me for my art is mindblowing to me.

— Julie Hutt

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I bought my first kayak this year. I have no experience with kayaks because the thought of them used to scare me. This is an ‘‘I’m not afraid anymore’’ milestone.

— Patti Nepean 9.

Driving a jet ski. I have Crohn’s Disease with a permanent ileostomy. I’m healthy and fairly active, especially outdoors, but driving a jet ski by myself was extremely scary to me. I did it last summer. I may have only gone 35 mph, but I did it! — Michele Gillis Diehl

10. I realized I could assertively speak with impunity to utter strangers, both men and women, and discovered that people still respond to friendliness and warmth. Sometime, they might be surprised, but they seem to appreciate it. Age doesn’t really matter at all. — Frances Macias-Souza 11. The opening of my very own little spa is a milestone I recently celebrated. It’s been a year in planning, but I decided that I was going to follow my dreams and make it happen. — Wendy Michelle 12. When my daughter changed a diaper without being asked. It’s a minute thing, but knowing that she put her brother’s comfort before her personal comfort, it definitely felt like I was “doing it right.” — April Renee 13. I decided that I was worth spending money on. I make a good living but am a very frugal person. I finally realized that spending money on fine skin and hair care products is something I deserve. I have never felt better, and I feel and look younger than I did decades ago. My only regret is that I didn’t do it sooner. — Julie Eastman Stidham 7.

There is a simple, curious enjoyment in dining solo in a restaurant. Leisurely sipping a good beer and savoring each swallow. Scrupulously reading menu details. Ordering what I want, not swayed by a companion’s tastes. Engaging in conversation with servers and serving them back with unhurried kindness and appreciation. Reading my Bella Grace or watching the game of the night. Browsing through social media or just observing the social scene. Dining with me, myself, and I is my milestone. — Natalie Albers

14. One year ago I bought a home for just myself to live in. After a blessed lifetime of taking care of children and my darling mother, it is a new landscape to create a home for one. I celebrated by planting roses, rosemary, mint, day lilies, irises, and hung pentatonic wind chimes to sing to all the flowers. — Nancy King 15. I finally finished composing and recording my piano music onto a CD. — Denise Marie Comb BELLAGRACEMAGAZINE.COM

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16. I do a small happy dance every time a teacher or other parent compliments me on my daughters. They are awesome girls, and I’m glad other people in the world see it!

20. A good milestone for me is when I finally finish an intricate Baltimore Album quilt block and I am pleased with the results. Being a perfectionist is hard. — Carolyn Stewart-Weaver

— @myburgeoning 21. I love cleaning the garage, and then keeping it clean! 17. I was raised in a home where academics were stressed and any kind of athletic pursuit was dismissed. At age 57 I walked/ran my first half-marathon, and this year shortly after I turn 63, I’ll reach my goal of 20 of them! Who knows what I’ll try next? — Gail Valles Williamson 18. I drove to Oregon and Washington all by myself. I even had to learn to pump my own gas for the trip.

— Darcy Helene Lubow 22. I don’t “celebrate” in the same manner as a birthday, but I certainly internally acknowledge the day I was finally divorced as the start of a wonderful chapter of my life when I really created the person I was meant to be. — Lisa Mueller

— Judy McMichael 19. A positive pregnancy test.

Kelly Knox

— @sweetsweet_irony

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Bonninstudio

23. At age 59, I decided to grow out my hair and stop coloring/highlighting it. It is totally grown out now and below my shoulders. I love it! Some don’t, but that’s OK. I have found it to be very liberating not having to color it all the time.

— Kim Kotwica Irey 24. I honor my work-iversaries. In this day and age when people job-hop, I am grateful that this year is 10 years in my current job. My previous job was 12. It is no small feat. — Michelle Kroll 25. A recent milestone for me is feeling comfortable going out without makeup on. I’m learning to embrace my body and looks, and going out without makeup is something I haven’t been confident enough to do for years. — @abbsie.l 26. Finishing a book series. — @lil.cartier15

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Kevin Russ 30. I had lost confidence and experienced fear about driving. It was time to renew my license and the fear held me captive. I took a milestone step and entered the blessings of equine therapy. I did get my license and so much more. My heart overflowed because the horses helped me to achieve many life-changing milestones.

— Patricia Ann Smith 27. Last night we went out to dinner where my second eldest works. She waited on our table; to watch her work outside our home and be successful was simply awesome. — Bambi Beachboard 28. After many years (my whole life) of not being flexible or able to touch my toes, today I realized after two months of training at the gym I was finally able to touch my toes. — Jessica Brennan 29. I took up mountain biking when I turned 55, thinking my time to enjoy active sports was running out. Nearly eight years later I’m still enjoying the fresh air and beautiful mountain trails. Moreover, I’ve learned that when the ground feels uneven and sketchy you have to just keep pedaling. — Cathy Oh

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31. A recent milestone for me was keeping a journal for a whole year (and counting). I’ve always wanted to be a consistent journal keeper but have never achieved it in the past. Journaling has become my therapy, my art, and an important part of processing my days. There’s nothing like curling up with my soft leather journal at the end of a day. It’s like sitting down with a good friend. — Ruby Rose Carmichael 32. My milestone is finally stepping out onto a new path. Last week, after waiting far too long, I finally launched my new blog. — @thebiblioblonde 33. Getting past the wall of perfectly edited writing and allowing myself, with persuasion from Anne Lamott, to finally pound out a crappy first draft. — Cheryl Eichman

34. I love finishing a book because I only ever have time to read in the school carpool line. — @myburgeoning 35. I celebrate stylist Stacy London’s birthday. I have learned so much from her by watching “What Not To Wear,” reading her book, and following her on social media. I celebrate her birthday by wearing something extra-stylish simply because I’m so grateful for the inspiration I gain from her.

38. Making ham biscuits the other day for dinner. I wanted to be near my family by eating the food I had growing up. It meant more to me than my waistline and my summer workout plan. More of those choices in life, please! — Lesley Shires 39. Recently I made my first cake from scratch, frosting, too! It was simple following the recipe, but really gratifying because I’d never done it before. It made me feel like I could do anything.

— Tanya Manus — @thedivinethyme 36. The day I quit my banking job to pursue my passion of theatre. — @casey__victoria 37. I had a “You’ve come full circle” milestone this year. I went snow skiing after a 40-year hiatus. Skiing was a huge part of my soul and spirit as a teen, and to reconnect to that in late middle age was a tearful yet joyful personal accomplishment. — Chief S. Spell

40. I wore a bathing suit in front of my daughters and their boyfriends without a single reservation. Varicose veins, cellulite, and definitely a jiggle or three. My own daughters said they never thought they’d see the day when I wasn’t selfconscious. Oh, how I’ve grown and shed so much negativity and body-shaming. I have overcome so very much.

Gillian Vann

— @cafegirl139

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P ROMP T Have you ever been so happy to do something that may seem trivial to others? Perhaps you finally put your hair up in a somewhat decent-looking French braid, or you painted your fingernails without getting the polish everywhere. These little milestones are important to celebrate because theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re important to you. So, on this page, take some time to list all the things worth celebrating. Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll celebrate them with you.

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my 60th year finds me still astonished.

Ǥ Ǖ

Bonninstudio

—

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MISSING THE DAY S OF

Bad Photos Words by Beth Pantuliano

have a favorite picture of my sister and my two cousins: a snapshot I took with a disposable camera sometime in the early 2000s. Holding a pink flowered kickball, my sister stands awkwardly, her chin-set an early indicator of how stubborn she would become as she grew into adulthood. She stands on one side of the open screen door to our childhood home while, my cousin is on the other side of that door. Her red hair is haphazardly pulled back and sticking up, her hands are in her pockets, and she looks at me with a resigned expression. Her expression gives away the genial spirit that she has to this day. In the center staring out through the screen door is my baby cousin, only just old enough to toddle about on her own. She is staring through the screen with her binky in her mouth as she waits to be let out to play with the big girls. There are perhaps hundreds of pictures of my sister and me with these particular cousins. Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve gotten older and added one more cousin to the group, but this picture remains one of my favorites. It is by no means a good picture and in the current culture of selfies I would never get another picture quite like this one. Âť

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[\^X TWadX ƤX XTƞ i\Ƥ i[\V[ iX `ai fT]X b\VfgdXeL dXƟ^ \` ƤX YdƜWa_ aY W\Z\fT^ b[afaZdTb[kL T`W WX^\Z[f \` ƤX XTƞ aY e[Td\`Z VXƢ¤b[a`X b\VfgdXeL _\ee b\VfgdXe ^\]X Ƥ\eK The advent of digital photography is a wonderful thing, and not long after this picture was taken I would be given my first point-and-shoot-digital camera. But, sometimes I wonder if we haven’t lost something. Everyone I know now knows how to take good pictures of themselves. They know how to pose; they know how to hold the camera for the best angle on themselves, and as a result all of our pictures look the same. If I were to study the last dozen pictures that have been taken of my sister, our three girl cousins, and myself, only the clothing we wear and perhaps the order in which we stand would prove they were taken on different days.

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fĂ¤e Ć¤X eT_X baĆ&#x17E;eL eT_X e_\^XeL T`W i[\^X âĆ&#x; Ć¤X bXab^X Ć&#x17E;X \` Ć¤XĆ&#x17E; b[afae _\ee Ć¤X WTke aY UTW b[afaeK Y e`Tbe[afe Ć¤Tf iXdX fT]X` i[X` iX iXdX`Ă¤f âa]\`ZL aY Ć¤X Ti]iTdW^k baĆ&#x17E;W e[afe Ć¤Tf [X^W `ĆŁ Tdf\Y\VXK Ć&#x;dk b[afĆŁ Zaf bd\`fXW XĆ&#x;` Ć¤X UTW a`XeĂ&#x2122; T`W Ć¤XdX TîTke Ć&#x17E;X_XW fĆŁ UX _adX _X_ad\Xe TĆ TV[XW fĆŁ Ć¤X UTWK There is honesty in photos that are unposed, an honesty that can be recreated if a photo is posed correctly, and one that I find myself missing in most of our photos today. We are not always having good hair days. Sometimes you get photographed from a bad angle, or you are caught in an unflattering moment, and now it is too easy to make those moments disappear. The ease with which we hit the delete button robs us of something. The expressions unknowingly caught on camera, the moments caught without realizing it. When we start editing out the bad pictures, we take some good memories with them. There is perfection in the imperfect, the silly expressions, the heads thrown back in laughter, the mussed appearance when we are nothing but a tangled pile of limbs. Because sometimes the most perfect moments hide behind their imperfections. Beth Pantuliano is a work-in-progress. She lives a life that borders on the ridiculous in northern Delaware, and welcomes email at bpantuliano@gmail.com.

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P ROMP T

T]X T UdXT] Yda_ WX^Xf\`Z kagd \_bXdYXVf b[afae and print them out, or dig up some from your past. Attach them to this page with a glue stick or decorative tape. T]X `afX aY Æ¤X hTd\age _X_ad\Xe attached to each photo. Finally, make a commitment to fT]X _adX \_bXdYXVf b\VfgdXeK

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AUTUMN 2018

Autumn Impre ions Words & Photographs by Sylvia Stefanova

ovember has presented itself this year as the most talented and impressive painter among the months, slowly drawing canvases of cloudy skies, wet leaves and smoky fogs. While perfectly capturing Earthâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s treasures, November has displayed the most sophisticated color palette of deep brown and rich yellow, blended into old glory burgundy, with a mix of orange and green in between.

I am n ove i ts artistic ork and I pend very day diving nto ts xquisite xhibit of eauty, atureâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s riliance, and ublime ordinarine . I earn rom t, I drink i t, I rea e and grow n t. I spread my eyes among the undressed trees, put my face into the gentle, fresh wind and feel. I chase the light â&#x20AC;&#x201D; soft, plush, and golden, play hide-and-seek with the tired from the summer sun and let it penetrate all the chambers of my heart. I rejoice in the solitude with autumn. I pulse with Earthâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s unhurried rhythm of grace and gain patience. Humility emerges from its raw beauty. The world isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t such a broken place, blurring meaning, values, and human dignity after all. Âť

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Life s ul of g dne and e g d inks nto e as I ink nto t. Autumn makes me settle into my home, my simple needs and disorderly dailiness. It teaches me how to observe with passion, savor my thoughts, and live life in the slow lane...

I am whole and full of gratitude.

I taste like a pear tart. I smell like happiness.

To learn more about Sylvia Stefanova, visit her blog at silviya-simplelife.blogspot.com. She welcomes email at bagrian2002@yahoo.com. 42

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o$Q\RQH ZKR WKLQNV alen eaves DUH GHDG KDV QHYHU ZDWFKHG WKHP dance RQ D ZLQG\ GD\ p

Yoksel Zok

s 6KLUD 7DPLU

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UN TIL

That Call COMES

Words by Alishia Forcinio Photography by Nasos Zovoilis

o life has a funny way of making you stop sometimes. It has a funny way of making you answer that wakeup call. That call you’ve been putting off for a while. I’ve been putting my life in full motion since I started college. All it has been since then is work, school, work, school, and work again. I packed my days so full that I barely had time to sleep. I missed family get-togethers, beach vacations, and day trips because I didn’t want to take time off of work. I was fine with that, I was able to afford my first car, eat whatever I wanted whenever I wanted, and enjoy things I could pay for myself. I knew I was unbalanced but I didn’t really care. Until that call came. I don’t remember it coming; I just remember it being here. No one could really see it, but I could feel it. Some days it was numb, some days it stung. It left for a day and came back twice the size. It scared me enough to go to the doctor. But you see, when the doctor looked at my mom and told her she needed to take me to a dermatologist, I saw the look. It was a serious one. She avoided eye contact with everyone but my mother. She was serious. I’m not a kid anymore; I couldn’t just be ignorant toward the look and pretend everything was ok. I knew something was very, very wrong. I called off work, I told my professors I couldn’t come to class, I took the first open date the new doctor had.

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AUTUMN 2018

Looking back, my life had no substance. I was at rock bottom. So I did what anyone can do when you hit rock bottom. I sat down and started picking up the pieces. I took what I learned and applied it. Work isn’t everything; school isn’t everything. I couldn’t be caught up on insignificant things in life anymore. While my friends talked to me about what boys they liked and how they didn’t get into the classes they wanted, all I could think about was how it all didn’t matter anymore. Four days ago I was stressed out about a hair appointment. Today I was stressed out about how I might have cancer. I just didn’t care anymore about any of it. All I cared about was that my life could be changed forever. That pivotal moment when you will remember life from prior and post.

I found out the good news a day before my mother’s 60th birthday. That day we celebrated life for more reasons than one. Today, I’m sitting down. I’m forcing myself to rest, to pause. My favorite spot is in the car, so I parked and it was a moment when I stared at the rain falling on my window for a half hour. It felt nice. I’m going to do it more often. Alisha Forcinio is still learning to pause. She is a recovering stresser-outer and a dog lover.

I didn’t want to tell a single soul. I didn’t want anyone knowing. I wanted my life to stay as normal as possible. But life was not normal anymore; it shattered right before my eyes. I realized that doctors don’t get paid so much because they went through years of schooling. Doctors get paid because they have to tell a 19-year-old girl that she has cancer. But only by the grace of God, I do not. It turns out it was a close call, but I’m cancer free. But where do I go from here? Do I get back on that same train I was thrown off of ?

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a ny c e r t a i n t y

but the

Javier Pardina

n w o kn

ith w g n i oth

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AUTUMN 2018

" m a e r d sight of e s the stars ake â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Vincent van Gogh

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AUTUMN 2018

@Mary.Elizabeth.Photography

MARY ELIZABETH ROBINSON To me, living a Bella Grace life is finding happiness in the little things: a warm cup of coffee, the sound of the rain outside my window, a good book you just can’t put down, and walking barefoot on the beach. It’s about pursuing your dreams no matter how far away they seem.

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AUTUMN 2018

Mama

ON A SOLO

Words by Kate Ballantyne Photography by Raymond Forbes

morning solo canoe. A perfect series of moments. Knowing I would have the rare day to myself, I poured myself into my daughter. It is love all morning, and then father and daughter are off in the car. I am slightly giddy. My craft is exceptionally beautiful. A cedar-strip Peterborough Canoe Company canoe, green on the outside and shiny lacquered wood on the inside. Strips coaxed into a ribcage. A descendant in a long line of canoes reaching back to ancient trees and First Nations hands. A knower of water. Beautifully architected, built, and cared for. The canoe’s beauty matters. The beauty and solitude of the lake before me matters. I am moved. I lay a pillow just behind the bow seat and get in facing the stern. A wave of long-felt feelings sweeps over my body as I kneel. I feel strong, capable, independent. “Yes,” I say out loud. Blue Chalk Lake is beautiful. Small, quiet, and this morning like a mirror, with no other human activity. And then I am off. C-ing and J-ing. Freed from land and floated by water. Cutting across to the point and then hugging the shore. Slowly past cedars with new cones and white birch daring to lean out in search of sun. Deciduous crowns reach high and billow. The white pines tower tallest, their upper branches silhouetted against the blue sky. The faces of the rocks are tattooed by lichens. Some plants eke out a soil living in the little cracks and flats where needles have come to rest, and time and life have created the thinnest of soils. I gaze down and watch little whirlpools follow my backstroke. The paddle lifts and moves through air as little droplets fall and create a pattern of circles that ripple out. I am smiling. The canoe is responsive and I can go in any direction I want. I am released from the grasp of time. Eventually, I return and lie on the dock. Feel the sun and warm breeze … and miss my daughter. Kate Ballantyne marvels at bird nests and night skies. She likes chasing dragonflies and swimming in the rain. Freshwater lakes and forests feel like home. You can f ind her online at kateballantyne.com.

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P ROMP T Children or no children, we all need something to do alone that makes us feel alive. It doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have to be something big and crazy, sometimes it can be something as simple as a solo trip to an antique mall, searching through all the wonderful finds. What things you do you do alone that bring light into your life? What solo excursions would you like to try?

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AUTUMN 2018

‘‘I hate small talk. I wanna talk about

atoms,

death, aliens,

sex, magic, intellect,

the meaning of life, faraway galaxies, the lies you’ve told,

your flaws,

your favorite scents,

your childhood, what keeps you up at night, your

insecurity and fears.

I like people with

depth,

who speak emotion from a twisted mind. I don’t want to know

‘‘what’s up.’’ — Author Unknown

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ON E BO O K, O N E P AGE ,

One Day at a Time Words by Tina Zarlenga Photograph by Melanie Defazio

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AUTUMN 2018

s I examined the overflowing bookshelf, a thought of dread washed over me. “Will I ever get through all these books?” One book in particular constantly caught my eye —“The Encyclopedia of Me,” a guided journal I purchased after reading the popular “Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life,” by the late Amy Krouse Rosenthal. This blank journal taunted me with another reminder of my faltering intentions. Someday had still not arrived and the blank pages mocked me judgingly. The demands of a busy life and caring for others gnawed at my heartstrings as I watched abandoned goals slip through another year. Thoughts tumbled with a quest for change as I questioned my dependability for others’ needs, but never for my own. Just as curiosity nudged for more, I discovered Jerry Seinfeld’s joke-writing routine. Jerry’s method was simple: In order to be a better comedian, he had to write more jokes, so he committed to writing one joke a day. Afterward he would mark the day with a red X on a large wall calendar, creating a chain of repetition. The mission was not just about writing that joke, but moreover to keep the momentum of the red X without breaking the chain. I decided to test his theory with the New Year and a new calendar of my own in an attempt to turn my goals into a routine.

With this shot of inspiration, I devised a plan. Instead of viewing all these books as an overwhelming chore, I would begin with one book, one page, one day at a time. With this slow and steady progress, I began reading more. This seedling sprouted motivation in several areas when I compiled a list of non-negotiable tasks I would complete at the start of each day. Waking early with enthusiasm and a warm glass of lemon water, the momentum led me in a new direction. I penned my morning pages and then followed it up by answering one prompt in “The Encyclopedia of Me.” Brief meditation, 10 minutes of reading, and a few stretches later, I had created a 30-minute routine I felt proud to complete. Today, nearly 200 X’s connect the days of my calendar. A routine compiled of books and devotionals, strength and meditation, and a promise to myself I have kept. Thanks to the methods of Jerry Seinfeld and a few X’s on a calendar, I begin each day with the tiny steps that have fulfilled goals. Discovering that change occurs in the creation of habit, I let go of expectation and finish each morning with inspiration and a red X. Here are a few of the books I enjoyed while on this journey: n “ Encyclopedia of Me“ by Amy Krouse Rosenthal n “ Savor“ by Shauna Niequist n “ 100 Days to Brave“ by Annie Downs n “ The Happiness Project“ by Gretchen Rubin n “ Cultivate“ by Lara Casey n “ I’ve Been Thinking“ by Maria Shriver n “ 52 Lists Project“ by Moorea Seal n “ Grace not Perfection“ by Emily Ley

Tina Zarlenga welcomes email at ryzmomplus2@yahoo.com.

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P ROMP T

habit or practice you'd like to adopt. Be sure to choose one that you can approach in a slow and steady manner . What is it? For the next 30 days ...

Choose a very simple

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AUTUMN 2018

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“Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment.”

Kristine Weilert

— Rumi

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AUTUMN 2018

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HOW TO

Find Your Wild Words by Cassandra Key Photography by Andrew Yaremchuk

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AUTUMN 2018

ociety likes to put us in boxes. It likes to write our stories for us and pave paths we’re expected to walk on. We used to walk barefoot through the grass. We climbed trees and sang and spun in circles. We didn’t care who was watching. We left our hair unbrushed and swam in the rivers and let our minds expand with possibility. We didn’t know about the paths or the stories or the boxes, and if we did we thought we’d ignore them and make our own way. But then we stopped doing those things we did before. We packed our Wild into the boxes and handed over the pen. We put on shoes and walked the path. And maybe the path wasn’t so bad; it was smooth and easy and we could still see the trees. But we didn’t climb them. We forgot about the boxes with the wild things in them. We forgot who we were.

we are wild and magical and spinning within the universe we are dust and water and expanding with dreams wild wolf woman wild butterfly woman

i\^W XƟdk ia_T` We are breaking the chains. We are climbing out of the cages and smashing through the walls. We are opening those boxes because Wild is nature and nature does its thing without apology.

agL _XL iX fäe f\_X fƣ iXTd agd \^W TZT\`K »

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Find that box you stashed and unpack it. Here’s what you might find: The beauty, the magic, the fun in the “ordinary.” See with your wild child eyes. Permission to dance like no one’s watching. Because they probably aren’t, and even if they are, who cares? Let your body dive into the music. Connection to the present. What does it feel like to be alive in this moment? What changes when you’re aware and mindful?

Bravery. Take a chance. Step off the path and climb into that tree. If you fall, it’s ok. Cry if you need to. Heal. Then get back up and start walking.

Permission to feel. Let your emotions pour over. Let yourself be sad and happy, angry and content, moody and motivated. Feel, feel, feel, and then move on. Connection to yourself. Be aware of your body. Listen to what it’s telling you. Your desires. You may have packed them up tight. Unwrap them gently, look them over. Let them into your life.

Who you want to be. I am this and I am that. I am fat/emotionally unstable/broke/boring/stupid/unworthy/fearful.

Xf Zƣ aY i[ƣ kag Ƥ\`] kag TdX eƣ kag VT` UXVa_X i[ƣ kag iT`f fƣ UXK Confidence. Stop worrying about what everyone else thinks. Do your thing. Embrace your Wild. Your Wild is waiting. Do you hear it? It’s shuffling around in that box, waiting for you to crawl outside the cage, waiting for you to step into the dirt and pave a new path — one that’s perfect for you. Cassandra Key is an American ex-pat living in the Philippines and spends her days beach bumming, wedding blogging, and writing for her own blog, The Sacred Middle, where she writes about happiness, magic, and self-love. Someday she hopes to write a young-adult novel and have tea in England. You can follow along with her at thesacredmiddle.com.

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AUTUMN 2018

P ROMP T As we grow older, we tend to grow more timid. We approach life in a safer manner, taking care not to disrupt anything or anyone, while burying some of our innermost desires.

[Tf WaXe ^XƠ\`Z kagd i\^W agf ^aa] ^\]XE TV[ WTkL _T]X T` XYYadf fƣ ^Xf T ^\Ơ^X agfK

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AUTUMN 2018

AN A CT O F

Radical Self-Care Words & Photographs by Tammy Strobel

“I support the social internet. I’m incredibly wary of social media. ” — CAL NEWPORT

or the past two years, I pondered quitting social media dozens of times. But I was too scared to leave because I thought I should use social media to promote my writing and photography. Instead of quitting, I began taking frequent social-media sabbaticals. During these breaks, I felt focused, less anxious, and slightly embarrassed by the amount of free time available in my daily schedule. When my self-imposed sabbatical ended, I’d log onto social media again. Each time I started using social media, I promised myself that I wouldn’t spend as much time scrolling through my feeds. To prevent bad habits from reemerging, I would set timers, use internet blocking apps (like Freedom), and turn my phone on Airplane Mode. Despite using all the tricks, my social media use increased, and my attention became fragmented. On March 23, 2018, I officially quit social media because I wanted my time and attention back. Then, I made a list of all my accounts, and during the first week of April I disabled or deleted the following accounts: Facebook, Instagram, WhatsApp, Tumblr, Slack, Twitter, Pinterest, YouTube, Google Plus, Fitbit, and Flickr. I wasn’t actively using all the channels listed above, but the accounts I regularly used — like Instagram and Facebook — fragmented my attention and made me feel like I was frittering away my time. To be clear, I wanted to leave social media, but I didn’t want to leave the social internet. »

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Cal Newport, a computer science professor and author, offered a helpful distinction between the social internet and social media in an essay titled “On Social Media and Its Discontents.” Cal described the social internet as a way to “… enable good things like connecting people, spreading information, and supporting expression and activism.” Whereas social media privatizes these activities by using personal data to sell my attention to advertisers. As author Catherine Price explained in “How to Break Up With Your Phone,” “The reason that social media apps are free is that we’re not the customers, and the apps aren’t the product. Advertisers are the customers, and our attention is what’s being sold. The more time we spend using social media — and the more personal information we share — the more money we make for someone else.”

Understanding the difference between social media and the social internet helped me quit “free” services like Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter. Social media cost me much more in distraction than it benefited me socially. Today, I connect with readers on the social Internet by blogging daily, engaging with Patreon supporters, newsletter subscribers, and more.

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AUTUMN 2018

Also, I decided to quit social media so that I could spend my time doing things like: journaling in the early morning creating blog posts

reading books, blogs, and print newspapers and magazines

learning French

listening to podcasts

playing with my cats

going to CrossFit riding my bicycle

taking naps at lunchtime spending time with my husband

and so much more.

Quitting social media has been freeing and rewarding because I have better boundaries around work, I’ve regained focus, and, more importantly, I have time to take care of my body and mind. Leaving social media might not be the best option for you, and that’s ok! I do hope my story will inspire you to spend less time on social media because it’s a radical act of self-care. »

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Below are four micro-actions that helped me leave social media, and today they enable me to pay attention to my priorities: R5 I ask myself the following question daily: What do you want to pay attention to? The answer to this question varies daily, but it usually includes things like sleep, CrossFit, journaling, reading books, creating blog posts and articles, and focusing on my core relationships. R5 Every evening I write down a short to-do list of three to five items that I have to accomplish the next day. I work on my most important tasks in the morning — like writing articles. I also set aside a block of time in the afternoon to surf the internet, read blogs, and more because I’m not a productivity machine and I like to know what is going on in the broader world. R5 Moment is an iOS app that tracks the time a person spends using their device daily, and it’s helped me reduce the amount of time I spend on my smartphone. R5 Freedom is an app that I continue to use because it blocks apps, websites, or the entire internet from my phone and laptop for a set period of time.

These micro-actions help me practice self-care in meaningful ways, and I hope they help you too! Tammy Strobel is a writer, photographer, and teacher. She created her blog, rowdykittens.com, in 2007 to share her creative work with readers. Over the past 10 years, she’s built a dedicated blog readership, written books, and has taught dozens of online writing and photography courses. Tammy’s work has been featured by the New York Times, USA Today, the TODAY Show, CNN, MSNBC, and a variety of other media outlets. 68

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P ROMP T Perhaps you aren’t quite ready to take the plunge and entirely cut social media from your life like Tammy did. That’s OK. Consider just taking breaks from it. Imagine you leave your phone home for a few hours, or maybe even a day. What could you be doing instead of scrolling endlessly through various feeds?

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A Drop Bucket IN THE

Words by Betsy Kay Photography by Trinette Reed

all is in the air. It might be a little early, but I can feel it. The days are getting shorter and the nights are cooler. Late summer is really my least favorite time of year. As an introvert, I look forward to the slowing down of fall. A time of introspection. We have apple trees, but we don’t spray them, so we have a lot of sickly apples on the ground right now. These apples attract groundhogs so we try to keep the apples picked up and placed in our compost bin. As I walked outside this morning and saw the amount of apples everywhere, I felt totally overwhelmed. There were so many! Although I was enjoying the crisp autumn air, I was not looking forward to my applepicking chore. It had been a rough few weeks for me, a list of things weighing on my shoulders that I won’t bore you with, but I just wanted to be curled up with a cup of herbal tea rather than dealing with mushy apples. I grabbed a bucket and started gathering the rotten, wormy apples. As I dropped each apple in the bucket, I began to name one thing that was weighing on me. Stress at work, into the bucket it went. Baby issues into the bucket; estranged family issues, into the bucket. And on and on, I gathered apples and let go of everything that was weighing on my soul. I gathered apples until I ran out of worries to label them with. (I told you there were a lot of apples!) And when I ran out of worries to drop in the bucket I began to count my blessings.

With each drop in the bucket I named something I was grateful for. I began to notice that the gratitude apples far outweighed the worries and stresses. A sense of calm and peace came over me as I realized (once again) that all I have is all I need. A few years from now, I will not even remember what those worry apples were all about. Every time my mind wanted to wander back to worrying, I returned to labeling the apples. Everything we do in life can be turned into a meditation in motion. Washing dishes, folding laundry, pulling weeds. It’s all the same. They are all bells of mindfulness, an opportunity to release what no longer serves us, and an opportunity to say a prayer of thanksgiving for our blessings. I went back outside later in the afternoon only to find that the areas I had cleared of apples were covered again. At first I was discouraged and wondered why I had even bothered. And then I realized it is the perfect metaphor for life. We let go of our worries and then they creep back into our minds. We become grateful and then we quickly forget our blessings. Just like the apples falling to the ground, we must continually let go and then focus on gratitude. Like most things in life, remembering to be mindful is a circular exercise. It is a constant letting go and refocusing. Betsy Kay loves walking barefoot in the grass, candle light, peonies, curling up with a good book, walking in the rain, and the mysteries of the moon. She believes in kindred spirits and picking fresh flowers for the house on a daily basis. Betsy can be found at yournurturingnook.com.

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Fill one â&#x20AC;&#x153;bucketâ&#x20AC;? up with your blessings and the other with the things currently weighing on you. Below are two boxes meant to depict buckets.

Keep filling up your blessings bucket until it clearly

outweighs the other.

Blessings

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Worries

rudeneja

Ilya

(v.) the way nature and/or the weather begins to feel like autumn

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48 MOMENTS W HEN W E FEEL OUR

I feel strong when I allow myself to choose my best good and to make decisions and react with mercy, love, and grace. So often I find that this surprises people. They call me “high-minded” or “emotionally mature.” The simple truth is that I am strong enough to remember that my emotions do not need to boss me around; I can choose to react gracefully in a situation; and/or that the person on the other end of a situation is a human being, too, with emotions of their own. I can choose mercy. — Melissa Snyder

I feel strong when I’m connected to my purpose and power. When I get clear on my core values and live from a place of my truth, I feel strong. Life flows and I feel I’m part of something much greater than myself. — Tanya Destang-Beaubrun

I feel strong when being most authentically myself. Whether that be walking in nature, reading or writing poetry, or spending special time with family or close friends. My strength resides within my ability to be true to my soul. — Renee Howard Cassese

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Alessandra Voltolini

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I feel strong when I allow myself to say no ...with no excuses. Just, “I’m sorry. No.” It is freeing to not always being expected to say yes and to start being appreciated. — Lori Markovich Rose

I feel strong when I stand beside a woman for 12–30 hours as she gives birth to her baby. I have worked with laboring women as a doula for 19 years. The strength that I have witnessed of women in that process is incredible. I have witnessed women who have held their crying babies, went home with their babies, with healthy beautiful human beings. Then I have stood with women who have labored for many hours and given birth to a baby that isn’t perfect. I have stood with women who have given birth and walked out of the hospital with painfully empty arms. I cannot tell you the power and strength I have witnessed in every one of these women. Then in the witness of their joy, their grief, in their pain — physical, emotional, and spiritual — I have in turn been strong.

— Sue Osborne 6.

I feel strong when I see my children that have grown into amazing adults. I feel strong when I see my grandchildren growing into amazing adults. I feel strong when I think about the love that I’ve poured into them through the years to make them kind, loving people. I feel strong knowing that it might not be what I’ve done, but who I’ve raised that will make a difference in the future. — Xan Odom Moody

I feel strong when I am unashamedly me in every aspect. My place in existence is undeniable. The electricity that flows through me when my energy merges with the energy of the universe is magic. I am more than strong; I am vibrant, alive, fearless. I say yes with passion and no with conviction. I may not be perfect to others but I am the perfect expression of divine female energy. I desire, I strive, I fall, I get up. I. Am. Strong.

— Sharon Miller

10. I feel strong when I’ve kept all the wheels from falling off at the end of the day. I got the kids to school on time, I went to work, I ran errands, and I fed my family. I feel like I can exhale and secretly I feel like a part of me is super mom.

I feel strong when life throws me mountain-sized hurdles and I conquer them. Like beating cancer, facing painful loss, following my dream and starting a business, and being a mom. I can be scared and full of doubt and walk through it any way. As women we can do hard things and be stronger for it! — Melissa Scherwinski Cancio

I feel strong when I allow myself to matter. My heart, soul, and mind need tender loving care as much as others. We so often forget to that. These days I remember to love myself. These days I turn away from negativity. These days I dwell in the positive dreams of love, hope, and faith and leave behind the days of struggle and pain. — Terry McQuillan

— Ahna McFadden 11. I feel strong when I talk to other military spouses and hear their stories. Sometimes you don’t really realize how much strength it takes to get through the challenges and lonely times until you recognize that same strength reflected in someone else. — Cindy Blake 12. I feel strong when I when I am kind to someone I don’t know and make their day as well as mine. Even something small like a compliment or a smile can brighten someone’s day. Always stay humble and kind. — Gina Dowdy

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13. I feel strongest when I can empower and encourage my girls and other women with positive and uplifting faith-filled words and a sunny outlook. Life is full of possibilities that are ours for the taking! — Brandi Truesdel 14. I feel strong when I look at how much “baggage” in my life I have put down and that by doing so, I am able to love myself, which in turns frees me to reach out to and love others. — Donna Fellows 15. I feel strong when I wake to gratitude. Beginning my day focused on what is good and what I have to be grateful for never fails to make for a less stressful, less anxiety-ridden day, regardless of what life throws my way. — Roberta Lerman 16. I feel strong when I can be honest and heartfelt while speaking my truth, even when I know others won’t take the time to understand or believe me. — Beth McWilliams 17. I feel strong when I stand up for someone who can’t speak for themselves. When someone is being unkind or unfair. I am strong when I don’t allow someone else to bully the timid. — Rachel Folden 18. I feel strong when I realize that after all of the things I have gone through, and am going through, I can hold my head high. I know I have done my all, and that is good enough.

Miguel Bruna

— Diana Oakley 19. I spend my day sorting struggles and reframing them into strengths. I teach people not to fight themselves, but let their energy work for them. — April Renee

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20. When at the end of a rough day and at my wits end, I can answer my pre-teenage daughter who is throwing attitude at me like knives with an honest yet caring response to her demanding question(s) … that is when I feel strong in heart! — @justbscrap 21. I feel strong when I can stand quietly supporting someone through their disappointments and celebrating with them in their joy. — Gail Valles Williamson 22. I feel strong while working my 65-year-old body at boot camp! I am investing in my future health and wellness. — Diane Creech 23. I feel strong when I scrub the toilet and do the things I dislike the most. It’s as though I’m taking back the land.

28. I feel strong when I do something completely out of my comfort zone. — Kim Collister 29. I feel strong when I take the time to learn about the backgrounds of others around the world so that I’ll have a better understanding about people and learn what makes each person beautiful. — Molly O’Toole 30. I feel strong when I get to Friday. — Ramona Kornacki Jimenez

— Christina Uribe Schahrer 24. I feel strong when I push myself and take a class that I have never taken before and my body hurts in places I didn’t know that it could

31. I feel strong when I realize how weak I actually am on my own. There is strength in humbly acknowledging our need for others on this journey. — @teapotsandrobots

— Dinean Wolfe Farraher 32. I feel strong when I wear red. 25. I feel strong when I can show someone else how strong they are. Real women build up others, not tear them down. — Lori Markovich Rose 26. I feel strong when I realize my bravery makes other people brave.

— Shana Miller 33. I feel strong when I stand by and let my children do things that make them panic and struggle. It’s so hard, but I know in the end they are going to come through as warriors and that is pure gold! — Bambi Beachboard

— Lisa Marie Henning 27. I feel strong when I think of my mum and nanny cheering me on from heaven. They faced many difficult times with grace and determination. I’m following proudly in their footsteps toward a better life.

Hian Oliveira

— @zendoodler

34. I feel strong when I see the white blossoms on the flowering rose bush I planted more than a decade ago the summer of my divorce. — @leslie_kawai 35. I feel strong when I prove self-doubt wrong. — Emily Ladonna 36. I feel strong when I admit my weaknesses. I’m not proud of them, but I am proud that courage is born of imperfection. — Elle Harris

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37. I feel strong when I beat my personal record for my favorite lift in the gym. For the longest time, I thought lifting was for men with big muscles. But after starting it myself, there’s more to it than physically pushing yourself. It’s telling your mind, “I need you for this, too.” The personal rewards from this simultaneous strength are too many to count. — @yourpalmandy 38. I feel strong when I look into the eyes of my amazing daughter, and know she will grow up with a true understanding of unconditional love, support, and endless possibility.

Caroline Hernandez

Kyle Loftus

— @soulmused

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39. I feel strong when I choose peace over having to be right, follow my gut regarding the company I keep, speak up for the voiceless, do the right thing regardless of if it’s easy or comfortable, smile, and when I love. — Elizabeth Ashley 40. I feel strong when I transcend an old limiting belief.

43. I feel strong when I look up at the stars and am reminded of what an amazing world we live in.

— Jen Coffman Beck — @fd13lig 41. I feel strong and centered when my world is organized — when there is a place for everything and everything is in its place. My life has been a bit chaotic lately and so I’m looking forward to getting back to a more balanced state. — @weaverofwords 42. I feel strong when I prove my biggest critic (myself ) wrong.

44. I feel strong when my family rallies behind me when I want to challenge myself with something new. One example was going from working very part-time to a full-time, first-year high school teacher. My sons and husband took on more responsibilities and cheered me on. I am confident in my abilities, and with my family I can do more! — Susan Smith

— @katieinwonderland BELLAGRACEMAGAZINE.COM

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Heather Schwartz

45. I feel strong when I spend the majority of the day outside. Whether it’s doing physical labor in the garden, going on an epic hike, or moving more slowly, wandering the woods, foraging or sitting and writing by the river. Being outside lifts me up, reminds me that I’m strong because I can recognize that I’m surrounded by beauty every day and because of that can always find a smile. — @mtlady18 46. I feel strong when I hit the dojo mat. The soft, cushiness of that black mat combined with the challenge of sparring brings me into my body. And when the first punch is thrown and then blocked, when the dance begins, I almost always smile. I feel like I can handle anything after a good day at the studio. — @badassgranola 47. Community in all things I do always provides me with greater strength — to know that I belong to a group larger than myself gives me hope to dream, to grow, to learn, and to change into the best version of me every day, simply because I belong. — Frances Peets 48. I feel strong when I ask for help. It took me nearly 41 years to learn that asking for help doesn’t make you weak. Strong women ask for help. Strong women build each other up. Strong women change the world. — @psychgalmom 82

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P ROMP T Strength can come from a number of sources. Sometimes itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the little things, like putting on a fresh coat of red lipstick, that make us feel powerful and strong. Often, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s something much bigger than that. Take a moment to explore the times you feel strong.

What makes you feel strong emotionally?

When do you feel strong physically?

What are some ways you can trick yourself into feeling strong?

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“Difficult roads often lead to

beautiful destinations.” — Zig Ziglar

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Riley J.B.

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@tanyalorrainephotography

TANYA MOON Living a Bella Grace life means embracing who you are and what you have been given in this life with joy and enthusiasm; welcoming every day with new resolve and letting go of perfection. It means being intentional with the ones you love and leading them by example; forgiving fully and being patient when worn thin. It means looking for beauty among the chaos and learning to appreciate lifeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s noise, as one day you will miss that noise. Living a Bella Grace life means to show love, grace, and passion while encouraging others to pursue their dreams. It also means being fearless yourself and going after your dreams with everything in you, but also knowing when to take time for yourself to recharge. Living a Bella Grace life means remembering that we only have this one life and we should live it to its fullest and leave behind a legacy of love.

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Infusing Calm

(and a Bit o f M ag i c)

INTO YOUR WORKPLACE

Words by Larynda McKay

fter heading back to work from a few years off, I found myself engaged in a type of busy that I had thought I had left behind. My life went from calm to chaos in a short while after we had to close my husbandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s once-thriving business of 20 years, a casualty of a tough economy. The loss of our main income source meant I had to find work again, and I was blessed to find a job at a large, lively college.

Ella Jardim

Initially, the frenzy of working on a college campus threw me off course. There was so much going on around me. While the environment was exciting, I yearned for some calm in my day and sought to make my workday and workspace a destination I looked forward to being immersed. Adding a few personal touches and small indulgences made the workspace my own. I felt more positivity in the environment and felt a boost of productivity. Simple additions of favorite things, and little items of luxury, combined with the minimalist approach to keeping clutter at bay and organizing my time, helped to encourage more efficiency of processes and navigate the unexpected. I felt ready to conquer the world all the while finding a peace and stillness. Âť

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Here are some ideas to help you bring calm and magic to your workspace.

q Essential oils : Seeking out an inspirational

roll-on scent that is not only good for you but also ignites your senses can really change your mood. Try peppermint for energy and thieves to help keep the germs away.

q Hand lotion: Using hand cream is decadent.

Hand-washing and using hand-sanitizer can dry out the skin. Seek a lotion that is non-greasy and richly creamy. A non-scented lotion is amazing because you can roll on your essential oil afterward.

q Tea : Tea can invite calm at your desk; sip slowly and

savor. Try a blend with turmeric for its amazing healing properties, or a tea bag that contains lavender or skullcap to encourage calmness.

q Beautiful pens : Writing with a pen that you choose

(versus the standard office fare) is a delight. Find something that fits your hand beautifully, has an ink color you love, and one that gives you joy each time you write a note, task, or list.

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q Soft tissues : Office tissues hurt my face. Soft

tissues are a special treat for those days that call for soft and cozy to soothe a tear or care for the early stages of a cold.

q Cheerful mugs : Use a mug that inspires you. Cups can be personalized with a photo of your family, or find a mug with a phrase that has a quotation that motivates you toward your goals. A cup is like a miniature inspiration board that sits on your desk, takes up very little space, and can be filled with coffee.

q Greenery : Add some imitation succulents or cacti for your desk (fake = no maintenance), or add a punch of color with a fresh bouquet of tulips or daisies in a pretty vase.

q Lip balm : Oh the bliss of soft lips. Bring a

favorite lip balm or gloss to leave in your desk. Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll feel refreshed.

q Desk planner : A planner is one of the nicest tools

for the desk. Jot down the weather. Note your mood (I like to use a sticker for this!), and keep track of small items that happen during the day. Someone brought me a warm oatmeal cookie this morning; that little gesture goes into my planner as a memory of the day. A planner can help you keep track of your schedule and it allows you to include those small things that make life so rich.

q Office supplies : Desk tools are an easy way to

bring joy and whimsy to your workspace. What will you find? Colorful clips, flowery sticky paper pads, a rose-gold stapler, or a package of colored markers? Keep them in a little wire basket to avoid desk clutter.

q Cozy wraps : A crisp fall day or office air

conditioning can make the work place a little chilly. Keep a soft wrap nearby to throw over your shoulders or onto your lap when the breezes start to blow.

q Your own bowl : A special bowl can act as your

own private space. Fill it with nourishing foods on your lunch break, like a homemade soup or stew, a cool smoothie, or chips and salsa. When lunch is over, clean it and then tuck it away to rest. Allow this simple ritual to calm you.

q Books : Add a short stack of books to your desk.

This is my favorite right now. I love mindfully selected a top five or six must-reads and placing them in an attractive stack. Include a few different genres. A book stack is close for easy reach and having them within easy sight means you will be more likely to read them.

Larynda McKay is located in Calgary, Alberta, Canada. She is a regular contributor to a publication there where she shares various Top 10 lists that inspire readers to become better people and neighbors.

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The Bella Grace staff recommends trying out some of our favorite ways of bringing comfort and beauty into the workplace:

Play calming, ambient music softly in the background. Or an upbeat soundtrack if you need a pick-me-up. Studies have shown that playing music while working can improve your focus and productivity.

Keep a book of inspirational or meditational thoughts within reach. It’s amazing how a beautiful quote can quiet your mind or lift your spirits.

If your workspace has a door, close it when you need a few moments of quiet in the midst of a chaotic day.

Turn off the florescent lights and use a desk lap to give your office soft, ambient lighting.

If you have the space, bring in a throw rug or cozy armchair to create a comforting, homey feel.

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If you’re not a fan of the office brew, consider bringing in your own bag of coffee and French press. The simple ritual of brewing coffee is incredibly calming.

Be sure you’re drinking enough water throughout the day, and make the process more enjoyable by bringing in a pretty glass from which to drink it.

Head to the Target Dollar Spot to pick up some pretty file folders to hold your papers.

Consider using teacups or pretty glassware to hold some of your office supplies. A chipped China bowl is the perfect place to stash Post-its or paper clips.

Download a calming or meditation app to listen to on your breaks. A quick fiveminute session can do wonders for your mental state.

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P ROMP T Think about your office space and what youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re allowed to do with it. Make a list of the different ways you can add and a bit of to it.

comfort

magic

Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q

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Something Like Happy The 100 Happy Things Project Words by Christen Hammons

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must have not been listening when my parents were teaching me not to judge a book by its cover. I’m not ashamed to admit that when perusing the library and bookstores, I often grab the books with the prettiest covers. Sometimes it works in my favor, while others not so much. In the course of my very full reading life, I’ve read plenty of pretty books that were awful, and have read amazing books that had ugly covers. After seeing “Something Like Happy” by Eva Woods in a post on Instagram, I thought to myself, “Well, that looks cute,” while simultaneously putting it on hold at the library. Like many of my library holds, I completely forgot about it until I got that glorious email letting me know I had a book ready to be picked up. It was just as cute as I remembered, and the inside cover had an adorable pattern to boot. About 10 pages in, I knew this book was much more than another cute story. I don’t want to reveal too much about the book, because I firmly believe you should read it (with a box of tissues), but the premise is simple. Two women meet. One has recently experienced a loss and quite a bit of misfortune and is finding it hard to feel positive about anything in her life. The other is terminally ill but is determined to prove to Woman #1 that there is happiness to be found every day, even if it’s something tiny. Together they embark on a project of finding 100 new ways to be happy in 100 days. A few of note include making tea for the office and taking your lunch break outside.

This book came to me at a time when I felt as though I was living life on autopilot. I wasn’t especially sad or happy; I just wasn’t noticing much of anything. Each day felt like the previous one, and so this book inspired me to take a little control of my days, if only for a moment. I grabbed a tiny notebook and a pen, and got to work. Every night before bed I thought of one thing to do the following day that I know would make me happy and help that day stand out from the others. Here are a few of my favorites:

t Text a friend I haven’t spoken to in some time just to let them know I was thinking of them and that I hope they were doing well. t Read by the glow of the fire pit in my backyard. t Ask for my latte in a big mug instead of a to-go cup. t Blast the air-conditioning in my bedroom while I take a short little nap. I am only about 40 days into this little project, but having a tiny happy goal each day is helping my days not blend together as much. I can look at my notebook and say, “Oh! That was the day we decided to have ice cream for dinner when we knew it’d be much too hot to cook.” I can see myself continuing this long after the 100 days have passed. I’ll forever be thankful for that cute little book that became so much more than that. Christen Hammons is the editor-in-chief of Bella Grace. She lives in Old Towne Orange, California, with her husband, a dog named Hamburgers, and two old and grumpy cats. You can usually f ind her with her nose in a book or at the library checking out way too many books.

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100 100 days.

tiny ways to be happy.

For the next 100

days, jot down one simple thing you can do to be happy. Get creative.

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 96

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35. 36. 37. 38. 39. 40. 41. 42. 43. 44. 45. 46. 47. 48. 49. 50. 51.

52. 53. 54. 55. 56. 57. 58. 59. 60. 61. 62. 63. 64. 65. 66. 67. 68.

69. 70. 71. 72. 73. 74. 75. 76. 77. 78. 79. 80. 81. 82. 83. 84. 85.

86. 87. 88. 89. 90. 91. 92. 93. 94. 95. 96. 97. 98. 99. 100. BELLAGRACEMAGAZINE.COM

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15 Things to

Savor Slowly Words by Emily Shearer Photography by Tana Teel

1. Peeling an apple 2. Watching a dog frolic in the wildflowers 3. Periwinkles opening and closing their tiny wings, digging themselves back under the sand and in the surf

4. Gazing at bubbles as they float on a breeze, or, better yet, watching a baby watch bubbles drift lazily away

5. Each buttery piece of popcorn on your tongue 6. Stars blooming at twilight 7. A conversation with a stranger, when you really listen to what they are telling you

8. Brushing your teeth (especially after youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve eaten all that popcorn!)

9. Edging right up to your comfort level in that challenging yoga pose 10. When your favorite song comes on the radio at the exact moment when you need to hear it

11. The sound of pealing church bells 12. Bathing a child 13. Bathing oneself 14. Pulling apart the flaky layers of a croissant and eating them one by one

15. Finding a book that speaks to your heart and reading each page carefully, as if it were written just for you

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Emily Shearer is an ex-pat poet, mom, and registered yoga teacher living outside Houston, Texas. She teaches yoga for writers workshops and practices persistence. Her poems have been nominated for a Pushcart, shortlisted for the Judith B. McCabe Poetry Prize, awarded the University of Houston Robertson Prize (runner-up), and published in West Texas Literary Review, SWIMM, Clockhouse, and Ruminate, among others, including the inaugural issue of Minerva Rising, where she now serves as poetry editor and associate book developer. She is not supposed to have caffeine, but she does a lot of things sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not supposed to do, including swear like a trucker, drink too much, dance on tables, and blog about it at bohemilywrites.net.

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P ROM ROMP PT Wh t are What

15 5 thi things

you always pause to savor slowly? sl

1 1. 2 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7 7. 8 8. 9. 110. 0. 11 1. 11. 1 . 12 12. 13. 14. 15 15.

100

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â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Morgan Harper Nichols

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101

Within & Without

Helen Rushbrook

Words by Doreen Wallace

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he dirt road is almost always missed by drivers on their way to other places. And that is perfect. Only a small sign nailed to a tree indicates this private address. This is home to 12 families, some of whom have called this piece of the Connecticut shoreline theirs for eight decades or more. The houses speak of another era. The quiet traditions here on the bay live on even in the newest members of this community who learn quickly of its past. Summer hymn singing is always on Sunday evening, and the softball games are on the green on Saturday afternoons. Ben will call you to the field when it is time and he’s corralled enough players. The raft is painted white every season and Morgan puts out a call for helpers to swim it out to its rightful spot on the bay. The only traffic is the occasional car making its way to the driveway to be parked indefinitely. Because once you arrive you find you resist the urge to join the world outside the entrance of that long dirt road. Most of the occupants do as well. Their histories are as storied and as interesting as the homes themselves.

Behind the grandeur of the big white house on the hill is a small single stable. It was built for the daughter of one of the original homeowners. Largely forgotten and unattended, it was overgrown by the natural brush and trees. It too is hidden. Probably 400 square feet total. It had become the meeting place for fox, deer, and turkeys. In front of the big white house on the hill is the home of Kate and Chester. It’s one of several homes built here for Kate’s family back in the 1930s. Originally the house was oceanfront, but it was moved to a more central location on the property. Its screened porches, greenhouse, and English garden facing the tennis court convince any visitor that this is something special. Its occupants are as interesting as the house itself. Kate, an artist, mother, grandmother. Chester, a school-bus driver, canoe builder, master gardener, tennis player, and former polo player, among other things. »

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They live minimally in their place by the sea. She is in her 70s; he is older. But taxes are exorbitant for this view of Long Island sound. Finally it is too difficult to make the payment. Chester, however, sees opportunity in the stable. He approaches the owner to consider this swap: He will upgrade the stable to a “tiny house” (well before tiny houses became a thing) if he and Kate can live in it June through September, prime rental season in New England. The agreement was well received; they found renters for their home and the stable was transformed just in time for summer.

After a few minor adjustments, they packed necessities and began to live quietly and deliberately in the stable.

Rowena Naylor

I passed Chester often and we’d always chat. We had been friends for more than 25 years. He was much older than me — a generation really — but we shared the unique history of how we came to the bay. We had married into families that are as original to this community as the houses.

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Chester was carrying garden bounty when I had encountered him on his way to the stable one evening. He invited me to visit while he prepared dinner for his bride. Kate would arrive home each evening at 5 after caring for her grandchildren in the next town. The small table was set for two and classical music played from an old radio. He was sautéing onions and zucchini and hot dogs, and the house smelled so good. He gave me a tour of his new house, and I was awed by the sheer workmanship of this small space. Chester was genius in his vision and it was “magazine perfect.” We laughed at what we both knew to be another of his fabulous projects. He gestured for me to sit a moment on the screened porch. Two feet by 10 feet. One kerosene lantern in the corner. Two lawn chairs. I asked how it was looking in his home now occupied by renters, strangers really. How was it to watch life happen in your treasured space? To walk by it during the day and see the movements in the windows at night? To admire all of Kate’s art from the field? He says that it looks like everyone sure enjoys the place. He points his arm toward the big house and exhales. He then tells me that life in the stable is so good. He says it slowly, thoughtfully, while nodding yes. I wonder aloud if there is not a lot to do at the stable and he corrects me.

He tells me that it’s about what they choose to do. They sit and connect under the same stars and moon that shine over the big house. There’s a definite sparkle in his eyes as he says, “We even hold hands.” Doreen Wallace lives in Virginia and welcomes email at doreenfwallace@gmail.com.

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"A storm was coming but that’s not what she felt. It was adventure in the wind and it shivered down her spine."

Shannon O’Malley

— Atticus

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Unique & s p p A g n i g n a h C e Lif

Rainy Mood has helped calm my days, remind me to breathe, and brought the best kind of day for me to write. — Chelsie Birks

The Hitrecord app has allowed me to connect with fellow artists and be a part of the collaborative creative process while on the go. — @destinedtowonder

Duolingo helped me learn Polish so that I can communicate with my grandparents. — @isabellaj1654

Wunderlist allows me to keep my bucket list in my pocket at all times. Whenever I need a dose of inspiration, I open the app and see which of my dreams I can turn into reality today.

— Brooke Safferman 5.

Insight Timer is a fantastic app for my meditation practice. It’s free, has loads of guided meditations, and gives me the ability to create and track my own meditation and healing programs.

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— Jara Downs

As someone who used to edit all her photos on a computer, Snapseed is by far the best photoediting app I’ve ever used.

I really can’t tell you how LoseIt! has changed my eating. I didn’t really have a clue about exactly what I was doing wrong until I started tracking everything on the app. Many folks suggested I write down what I eat, but that’s just not going to happen. But, at the end of the day I can sit down and quickly go through and itemize what I ate, and see how many carbs, fat, etc. I consumed. It’s really educating me.

— Beth McWilliams

— Tonda Solomon

— Suzanne Birkholz 6.

Jesus Calling is the first app on my phone and the first thing I do each morning while eating breakfast on my patio. It starts my day encouraged, mindful, and with my eyes fixed on Jesus.

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Lumina 9.

Yoga Wakeup has me rolling out of bed (or going to sleep) with some amazing meditations and yogaquickies. It relaxes me and gives me something to focus on and think about. Not to mention that it’s much nicer to wake up to than an alarm and Facebook.

11. Planoly & Forest. I am an herbalist and plant medicine maker in New Jersey, and need all the help I can get trying to focus on running business and not playing out in the garden. — Shannon Mulligan-Mayernik

— Tina Breit 10. For me, it’s Trello. It’s made my daily tasks and work automation so much easier. — Katie Chavarin 110

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12. I love Bloglovin’ as a way to enjoy the blogs I subscribe to and read. It makes waiting in lines easier and more relaxing. — Lisa Selow

15. MapMyRun has made a positive impact on me. It helps me keep track of my workouts, and since my friend and I follow each other, we can challenge one another to competitions even when we are across the country from each other. It really helps me stay more motivated than I would ever be without it. — Shannon Daniel 16. The Moon Phase app has been wonderful. My spiritual practice involves a lot of work with the energies of the moon in its different phases. This app has been a blessing in my new spiritual journey. — @spirit_hecate 17. Slack allowed me to get the most romantic and beautiful logo to represent the future of my photography business from a designer across the country from me. — Susanbeth Breuner 18. The Aura meditation app has made a positive contribution to my life. It is a daily reminder for me to take a time-out for myself every day. I like the meditation, stories, and life-coaching lesions it suggests for me based upon my mood. I have been using it for two months now, and it’s helped me to fill up my bucket. — Julie Herring 19. I use the DARE app for anxiety. It’s a game-changer. It gave me my life back. — @i_love_az_ 20. Magisto is amazing! It makes tiny movies of photographs from our days and is the perfect collection of memories from events. Sometimes when I can’t fall asleep, I review archives of our little treasures and fall asleep smiling. — Elle Harris 13. I think Overdrive is my favorite. I can get ebooks and audiobooks right from my library. — Michele Quattrin 14. I love the Pzizz app. I know I’m “supposed” to meditate, but I can’t ever force myself to do it. The Pzizz app is mindful meditation designed to put you to sleep and help you stay asleep. I fall asleep in minutes and feel so well rested after using it. — @justlizz

21. The Calm app has helped me tremendously! I never knew how to meditate or just sit still and breathe before I discovered it. When I have trouble sleeping, which is often, I turn on the app and listen to a bedtime story. Most of the time I wake up the next morning and don’t even remember falling asleep! — Ali Montague 22. I like being able to follow along with the plans on The Bible app. It even puts reminders in my phone. — Leighellen Landskov BELLAGRACEMAGAZINE.COM

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23. I love Gaia, which is my go-to for daily yoga sessions, learning about meditation, and life documentaries. Just opening the app and the overall atmosphere of it puts my entire being at peace. — Lena Onate 24. EveryDollar is an app that makes budgeting simple and easy for a person like me who hates anything involving keeping track of money. — Chelsea Levy 25. Headspace! After years of wanting to learn how to meditate, this app taught me. It has brought real peace into my day. It’s completely relatable and the first app that I’ve ever paid a subscriber fee for more meditations (there are plenty of free ones though!) because it’s that good. — Diane Baker 26. I absolute love the Libby app. It connects me to my local library. I can download books and audiobooks right to my iPad, and I never have to worry about late charges. — Gillian Norris Allen 27. I love the EnneaApp. The Enneagram is a personality test that has become such an important tool in understanding how to care for myself and those around me. The app comes in handy time and time again to either help my friends determine their type or get to know each other better. — Bethany Jepsen 28. I utilize SweatCoin to remind myself to get outside and walk among the trees. It’s an app that gives you “sweatcoins” for the steps you walk outside. — @idunns_daughter 29. LoseIt! and Runkeeper are my go-to fitness apps. Runkeeper keeps track of my miles on my trail and neighborhood runs, and Loseit! keeps track of my healthy (and not so healthy) choices I make on my weightloss journey every day. — @taykreynolds

30. Relax Melodies has been my ride or die. It has helped me not only fall asleep but also fight my negative mental health. It gives me a tool to use when I need to focus on things other than my anxiety. It is more than just a sleeping app and is worth everything and more. — Melissa Dianne Ramont 31. I love my Bellabeat app and fitness tracker. The tracker looks like a piece of jewelry, and I can wear it as a clip, pendant, or bracelet. The app itself tracks my steps, my water intake, and my monthly cycles. It also has guided meditations I can use to de-stress. — @photocate8 32. I love the Mextures app because it has enabled me to become more creative with my photography. When I find myself waiting for an appointment, instead of scrolling through social media, I’m busy editing on my phone. — Nicole Bradbery 33. The Minimalist podcast has life-changing tips for living a meaningful life with less and being more intentional in our choices. — Gindy Schuetz 34. Hoopla! All you need is the number from your library card to make an account to rent ebooks, audiobooks, music, movies, and more on your phone. For free! — @_marissa_grace 35. I love the Fanfiction.net app. When reality is too harsh, nothing can cheer me up faster than my favorite fictional couples, and this app is always full of them. — Holly Zintzel 36. Google Keep is great! It’s like little Post-it Notes for random thoughts, and it syncs with Google Drive so you can access it from any device. It has saved numerous ideas from being forgotten when “trapped” on the couch with a cat on my lap and no pen and paper within reach. — Rayna Diane Hennen

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Lyuba Burakova

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37. I always have a Sodoku app on my phone. Growing up, my grandmother would always sit us down in the evening and as family we would try to solve a Sodoku puzzle each day. It was our tradition of winding down and getting ready for bed. So whenever I start to feel anxious or overwhelmed, solving a puzzle always brings me a sense of calm. — Hattie Skeith

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38. Couple is a wonderful app for my fiancé and me because we live three hours apart. There’s a “thumb kiss” activity where you align your thumbs on each of your own screens and once they match up, your phone vibrates like a little kiss. Sometimes when I miss him we’ll just chase each other around the screen, and it makes us feel like we’re together. — Samanta Mary Ortiz

39. The Shine app is a good source of daily motivation. It sends texts daily to help you practice self-love. — Kelley Fitzgerald 40. The 10% Happier app has guided meditations that can fit into any schedule!

41. I love Whack Pack! As a writer, this simple app gives me an amazing amount of inspiration and an extra boost of confidence to get creativity flowing when I’m stuck on a project. — Nathalie Huges 42. I love Duolingo and their partner app, Tiny Cards. I learned some Spanish before my family and I spent a summer in Peru, and now I’m learning Russian for our trip this October. It’s so fun and easy to use, and it’s free!

— Hannah Hough

— Stephanie Johnson 43. I love that I can incorporate photos into a travel journal using Day One. — Lacie Fitts 44. The Calm app has become a part of both my children’s bedtime routines after reading traditional books. One child is lulled to sleep by “The Queen of Calm” while the other prefers the sonic jazz tunes of “Healing Piano.” — Christie Pham 45. VSCO Cam not only offers filters to edit your photos, they also promote a community that creates. They believe in championing art and artists by equipping, inspiring, and promoting creative individuals around the world. They seek to build a modern sense of community, one relationship at a time. — Lexi Kemp 46. I use Gratitude Rock as a place to journal, to rant, and to keep track of my daily life. — Virginia Lincoln 47. Whatsapp allows me to connect with my grandbabies across the pond for free, making this the perfect app for me. — Julie Hutt 48. 72 Seasons encourages me to slow down and celebrate the seasons of life in my own part of the world.

T-Rex & Flower

— Karen Bretherton Dick 49. Simple Radio allows me to listen to a classical music station from Venice, Italy, one day, then a jazz station in New York the next, followed by a Latin jazz station from Lyon, France … all from the comforts of my little home. — Denise Marie Comb BELLAGRACEMAGAZINE.COM

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50. I love Gospel Library. It provides me with scriptures, messages from church leaders, and Sunday lesson information anywhere, anytime. Keeping centered with God is nourishing to me. — Tammy Zufelt-Thomas

51. My Carb Manager is the best thing that has happened to me this year. Without it I couldn’t have successfully lost all the weight I did to get below my goal. I am now living a healthy ketogenic lifestyle. — Julie Eastman Stidham

Guille Faingold

52. The Insight Timer app is helping me stay committed to my daily meditation practice. Meditation grounds me and helps me to appreciate beauty and wonder in the simple things around me. I love that the app gives me a visual of all the other people who are meditating along with me at any given moment. There’s an amazing energy in that. — Gwendolyn Simpson 53. The Ted Talks app lets me de-stress the way I like, by giving me insightful ideas and letting me turn away from myself for a short time. When I’m focused on tikkun olam — repairing the world — my energy is in a better groove. It’s a small thing but it makes my drive to and from something to look forward to. — April Renee 54. Penzu is a journal app with a lock on it. Whenever I was worried that my paper journals were vulnerable, I used Penzu. I have seven journals on there that allow me to organize and reflect whenever I’d like. — Vikki Bojarski Spencer 55. I listen to the positive self-talk recordings on SelfTalkPlus. They help keep my internal talk positive, supportive, and uplifting. I am currently focusing on freedom from worry but am also interested in their selfconfidence and self-esteem talks. — Katelyn Thompson 56. The Scholly app has an extensive list of scholarships I haven’t seen anywhere else. — Sarah Hannan Richards

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P ROMP T It’s amazing how many apps can accumulate over time. You’ve probably forgotten all about that puzzle you downloaded a year ago. Write a list of all the apps on your phone. Cross out the ones you don’t use, and put a heart around the ones you love. Uninstall anything that you’ve crossed out.

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“If you’re going

to dance, then darling, make the world spin.” — Madalyn Beck

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C U LT I VA T I N G

Camaraderie Words & Photographs by Holly Clark

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and were gabbing away about vegetables and traveling, exchanging recipe ideas and discussing our business aspirations, before finally making plans to share a glass of wine one night after work that week.

It started with plants. Well, to be precise, it actually started 15 years earlier when we met in our gardens. I had just returned home from a month abroad visiting my fiancé — now husband — and headed to the backyard to see how my first vegetable patch had fared while away. Erin was squatting amongst raised beds in the previously neglected lot next door tending to her garden when I had gone back to look. Before you knew it, we introduced ourselves

I sometimes wonder how that meeting might go today — in the garden of course, with a rainfall of laughter washing over us, because if we were anything like we are today, we would be wielding our iPhones like gunslingers, purposefully firing off photos to digitally freeze the year’s crop of tomatoes, chilies, perennials, and herbs as if they would cease growing without us capturing them. I can’t imagine it any other way. After all, we both recognized that half the battle of propagating plants was learning to recognize their needs: the precise prescription for their particular growth by cultivating the proper mixture of soil, water, nutrients, and light. Today, all these years later, we still discuss recipes and gardening, business and travel. Why, just the other day, Erin shared her recipe for Swiss chard pesto after I had wondered aloud on our call about what to do with the vegetables in this week’s CSA share. » BELLAGRACEMAGAZINE.COM

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We would soon shift to long chats on my front porch or hers about my impending nuptials, and dusk-darkened discussions out back about her recent move: a leap of faith toward a relationship that would eventually lead to children, marriage, and multiple moves around the country before returning to her current home. With fireflies illuminating the hot summer nights, our gardens welcomed and supported our conversations by breathing in heavy, humid air and exhaling the oxygen we needed to sustain our breath into the wee hours of the night, as if understanding the importance of these deep discussions before this next segment of our lives would begin. Just as we were learning to tend our gardens during the day, accepting the diff iculties we had taken on to maintain our rented plots, I would also make a case that we were discovering how a certain amount of love and understanding â&#x20AC;&#x201D; as well as periods of unintentional negligence and outside support â&#x20AC;&#x201D; were equally necessary for our gardens, not to mention navigating this time in our lives and our relationships too.

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In my heart, I’ve always been a photographer, or at least since a Kodak Disc came into my hands on Christmas in the third grade. And although I come from a long line of gardeners, I didn’t, in truth, become one until that summer on Sumac Street, awaiting my husband’s return. I would rediscover my love for photography a few years later, after acquiring an equally small digital point-and-shoot, a Panasonic Lumix, while living in our next home with a new garden that I still tend today. However, it would take several years before I would warm back up to the practice. Why it took so long, I honestly can’t say, but what I do know is that, sometimes, digital photography resembles a hyper-speed version of my gardens. Although it can take time and practice to cultivate a personal style, the initial exercise itself is often spontaneous and quick. Choose a scene, press a button, and BAM: photo taken, ready to share. »

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Dig a hole, plant a seed, water it, and wait.

But once we’re hooked, once we sink our roots deep into the craft, once we nurture our vision, recording pixels, weeding outtakes, using tools such as apps and digital darkrooms to grow our own unique style, we eventually unfurl from a mysterious place deep below the surface, propelling our practice upward into a new light. And then we’ll often share it. It’s in that connection, in that sharing, where friendships emerge, nurturing us across years regardless of the interests that initially brought us together. Sometimes, like Erin and I on Sumac Street, we meet a kindred spirit and we immediately bond, just like the sudden snap of our digital cameras. And then, just like cultivating a garden, that instant connection deepens over time and we propagate our friendship like houseplants and succulents, sharing interests, experiences, and friends.

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Now, 15 years later, our friendship has strengthened over time, providing support to one another in ways we couldn’t have predicted. Or maybe we could have; we were always game to help one another, whether it was Erin helping to clean our apartment before we moved into our house, or me preparing dinner when she was pregnant and the in-laws arrived. Except now, she models for me when I’m exploring a new photography technique and uses her business acumen to help me prepare quotes. She buoys me up when I need a confidence boost; I lend an ear and provide a much-needed escape when motherhood gets overwhelming. We’re not afraid to dig in deep and get soil beneath our fingernails to help one another sort things out. But often, it comes back to plants. We still share perennials, cuttings, and houseplants alongside endless ideas — and hopes and dreams, for that matter — except now, I capture these moments with my cameras, while she might share them on her Instagram story. Holly Clark is a Philadelphia-based photographer on a personal quest to f ind the best that life has to offer at home and abroad while capturing it along the way. When she’s not out exploring the world with her expat husband, you can usually f ind her wandering the streets of her neighborhood with her expressive Aussie, Major. She’s often up to her elbows in dirt nurturing a green thumb or drinking countless cups of coffee to an eclectic mix of music. Visit her online at hollyclarkphotography.com and viewfinders.io.

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P ROMP T Which friendships have begun with an

instant connection? How has that

relationship changed or stayed the same over time?

Do your friendships revolve around a central theme, like the authorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s and her friendâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s love of gardening? What

activities do you enjoy together? What things

would you like to try that you both might enjoy doing together? List them here.

What are some ways in which your friends support you? How do you

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support them?

“There are parts of me that will always remain

untamable, messy, and reckless; but I refuse to apologize for it anymore.”

Davide Ragusa

— Kaitlin Foster

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@shelley.rounds

SHELLEY ROUNDS Life goes by too quickly. It’s been a blessing to realize this, reminding me to enjoy each day. Living a Bella Grace life is: Working in my gardens for hours and then realizing I hadn’t thought about work or stresses the entire time. Spending time with my family. Rocking my granddaughter to sleep. Learning to love myself, including my flaws and imperfections.

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Then & in Honor of Now

An Homage to

Words & Photographs by Jennifer DeVille Catalano

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o you remember what it felt like to be three years old? How about six? I don’t recall entirely, but I do see flashes of my early years thanks to my two children. While I am intentionally trying to parent them and guide them through their days, my daughter and son are unknowingly schooling me in the art of living with a child’s spirit. They see life through such clean lenses, unencumbered by the smudges and stresses of adulthood. The way they follow their hearts from one moment to the next reminds me to loosen up and lighten up time and time again.

head wet. Then he pops up again with a huge grin. The proud look on his face clues me in: that was it. That was what he wanted to show me. I smile and raise my eyebrows in surprise. “Oh wow, buddy,” I say. “Nice job! How did you do that?” It’s nothing significant to an adult, perhaps, just tipping back like that, but I can see how pleased he is. “Like this! Watch, I’ll show you!” he says, doing his maneuver all over again. Water splashes on the wall, the floor, and me, but my son doesn’t notice. He’s still smiling, bubbles stuck to the side of his head this time. “ You can do it, too, when you get little again like me,” he says. »

“Mommy, watch! Look what I can do!” my threeand-a half-year-old son calls out from the bathtub. I’m sitting right there, just inches away from him, but he projects with great volume and enthusiasm nonetheless. I put my camera phone down and give him my full attention, ready for whatever stunt he is about to perform. He tips himself backward and throws his legs up in the air, getting the back of his

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I’ve heard that same declaration more than once recently, such as the afternoon he dismantled both of our couches and built a mountain of cushions under which to burrow, his finlike feet peeking through the bottom of my daughter’s mermaid blanket. He uttered it again the evening he dumped half a container of colored bath fizzies in the tub to make dark bluish-grey “thunder water.” My son seems to understand that I’m grown up, yet he firmly believes I’ll “get little again” someday. Perhaps he’s right. Although my physical body is mature and will continue to age in the years to come, my spirit doesn’t have to sag.

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I may have a whopping credit card bill to pay this month and lots of logistics to keep track of while raising a family, but my vision need not be jaded. Rather, it can be tinted by whatever bath f izzy colors I choose to mix into my day. At six, my daughter is equally inspiring to me. She dreams up and carries out countless creative projects, but also recognizes the need for replenishment. Sometimes she asks for permission to go outside on the deck by herself, “just to listen to the sounds,” as she puts it. I oblige, thrilled that my little girl is a nature lover. On occasion, she takes a notebook and colored pencils with

her to sketch blooming plants in the garden, examining red clover and lupines with her small and graceful fingers. Other times I spot her sitting in the tree swing or picking a fistful of lavender. Her demeanor is always calmer and happier when she comes back in the house, flowers in hand. She then gives me a report of all the sounds she heard, which lately have included the music of cicadas, the chirping of goldfinches, the cawing of crows, and the ringing of wind chimes. Some days she describes watching her chipmunk friend ChitChit eat her leftover walnuts, or how she glimpsed something out of the corner of her eye that might have been a hummingbird. »

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I didn’t have colored bath fizzies when I was a young girl, but I still loved baths as much as my son. Like my daughter, I also adored picking flowers, especially Queen Anne’s lace. I even remember my mom showing me how to dye the flowers by putting food coloring in their water. As an homage to then and in honor of now, I decided to teach my children the trick. At first I thought it would be fun to try using bath fizzies instead of food coloring, but apparently the fizzies weren’t strong enough. The following day I got out the old-fashioned teardrop-shaped bottles of red, blue, green, and yellow food coloring. We took turns squirting about 20 total drops into each small glass vase. My son made some “thunder water,” my husband opted for a reddish-burgundy, my daughter mixed up a deep violet, and I went for liquid sunshine. Before breakfast, we placed the Queen Anne’s lace in our vases and let the flowers take a long, colorful drink. What we found after lunchtime delighted all four of us. It’s amazing how flowers and food coloring can brighten the atmosphere and lessen the stress of everyday life! If you’d like to see for yourself, gather white flowers like Queen Anne’s lace, daisies, or mums, some food coloring, a few clear glass bottles or vases, and go for it! I suggest cutting the flower stems on the diagonal and making sure they aren’t too long. The shorter the stem, the quicker the color will travel up to the flower!

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P ROMP T

Dare to be Delighted What activities delighted you as a child? In honor of the past and for the sheer joy of the present, list some of them in the space below. Dare to recapture the magic of at least one such activity again. Your body may be grown up, but you can still be young at heart and f illed with light!

Jennifer DeVille Catalano is a writer, photographer, and educator who is always on the lookout for light.Â She lives in rural New York with her husband, two young children, three cats, and a multitude of wildflowers. Visit Jennifer online at her personal websiteÂ someplaceserendipitous.com.

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the

Anti-Hus e Words & Photographs by Paige Leigh Reist

Let’s talk about the whole concept of

e us e.

Man, does that word ever rub me the wrong way. The kind of working culture that hustle has come to represent and encourage is an exhausting, counter-intuitive, soul-sucking way to live. I’m all for hard work, don’t get me wrong — but what I’m not here for is turning every single interaction, relationship, interest, and activity into some sort of promotion or business venture. The whole idea of constantly hustling is especially poisonous for those of us who work in a creative capacity or cultivate a personal brand, whether for social validation, aesthetic expression, or out of professional necessity. Being a creator is already an emotionally vulnerable and challenging way to live. The things we create are little shards of our soul that we’re brave enough to send out into the world. We want them to do well. It’s the most human thing ever for us to want to make a good impression on others. That’s just instinct. But you are not on this earth to live your life for social media. Your life should not be an externally beautiful but essentially empty thing, carefully crafted for the consumption of others. Trust me, I’ve been there. Even though I’ve always tried to be authentic, I still carry a lot of embarrassment over how many things I’ve done solely for the ’gram, how many moments I’ve interrupted to take and edit a photo, and how many other successful creatives I’ve tried to emulate, all for the sake of a few more followers or page views. And God, the worst part is that it’s so addicting when it works. Validation! Popularity! Financial compensation! The promise of becoming one of the elite, fabled influencers! That sinking feeling, when the high wears off, that you’re a fraud and a faker … oh, wait. I am certainly not saying that you shouldn’t use social media, create industry relationships, or hone your craft. I’m saying that there has to be a part of your life that only belongs to yourself, or one of these days you’re going to wake up and feel like you have nothing real left.

You are g d nough. I read a piece of blogging advice a few years ago that royally messed me up. It was something along the lines of, “In order to create good content, you must live good content.” I’m sure it was meant to inspire the reader to live their best, boldest, most beautiful life, and I hope it did that for some people, but all it did for me was fill me with anxiety that my life wasn’t good enough for my career to be successful. That my relationships, hobbies, clothes, thoughts, feelings, and stories were all boring, because they didn’t look like what I was seeing in my Instagram feed. That little nugget of advice made me conceptualize my life as something best lived for other people to consume. Rather than helping me recognize the many beautiful, poetic moments in my life, it made the other parts of it seem bland and bad, not worth appreciating or sharing. » 136

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I mean, right now, I would love to tell you that Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m curled up in a beautiful, airy cafe drinking a matcha latte (do people really like matcha lattes?), wearing something beautiful and ethical and expensive in a size 6, taking a little writing break between my morning yoga class and a full afternoon of meetings with my adoring editors. In reality, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m at my chaotically messy desk in awn old sweater in desperate need of de-pilling, sipping day-old cold Folgers in an alligator mug, staving off menstrual cramps with a hot water bottle. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s my real life. And even though itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not â&#x20AC;&#x2122;grammable, it has value.

You are a person, ot a rand. What you put out into the world, by necessity, is always edited. And thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ok! We are all multifaceted, and I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t think itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s disingenuous to showcase only one or two of those facets of your personality and lifestyle in your work or social media. But I think itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s important to pay attention to how often youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re doing things for the benefit of other people, or with the intention of being noticed and sponsored by corporations or businesses. We need weirdos far more than we need more of the same. Showcase that wonderful, strange mix of qualities that makes you who you are, and donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t give in to the gradual homogenization of voices that so many of my favorite bloggers have fallen victim to.

You are ore an your e age. I began writing because I knew, in the very marrow of my bones, that I had something to say. I feel very strongly that my purpose here on this earth is to serve by creating and sharing. But I am more than that. I am more than my career, more than my blog, more than my Instagram grid, more than my dream. I am so much more than what I put out there. We all are. Paige Leigh Reist is the writer, photographer, and creatrix behind The Wholesome Handbook, a lifestyle blog about soulful living, wild grace, and f inding inspiration in the humblest of places. She lives in the prairies of Alberta, Canada, with her husband and 27 houseplants. To learn more, visit her blog at thewholesomehandbook.com and follow her on Instagram (@thewholesomehandbook).

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Personaly, e ove earning ore about e eal, au entic you. We love your sweatpants, messy bun, and the Christmas mug youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re still sipping from in June. The world needs less perfectly curated personas and more unabashedly real people.

Claim your au entic elf on is page. What do you really wear? What do your days really look like? What imperfect details fill up your daily life?

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In Quiet

Nooks Words by Deborah Bennett Photograph by Janko Ferlic

s scent is memory, an old book brought it back. A 30-year-old copy of Kahlil Gibran’s “The Prophet,” that holds the same mellow scent of the library bookshop where it was bought when I was a little girl. The book still feels, in my hands, as cozy warm as when I fell asleep with it in my hands at night. I visit to the library as a child felt as soft and free and familiar as I was always returning home. A silence sat on every table and chair and leaned long across the floors with a gold, leaf-strained sunlight that dappled the whispers of book pages turning, and pen on paper, and even the moody shadows laying between the shelves, and above the shelves, and between the books and staircases that led to books so ancient they may well have last been read by our teachers’ teachers as children. I enjoyed the feeling of exploration while sitting perfectly still; the sense of having traveled as I wandered beside the borders of shelves as I would have the borders of countries, meeting and making friends and finding family, as I fairly devoured book after book after book. I memorized parts of stories, then whole stories, as they began to live their own lives outside their pages and in me. The characters that only lived on the page suddenly had breath and movement, as they began to appear with faces in my sketchbooks, and with new stories to tell in my poetry journals. And in quiet nooks, in the silence of Sunday afternoon after Sunday afternoon, I slowly began to think of myself as a writer. As scent is memory, what was then is now. And only stepping between the shelves behind a veil and into another realm. Something about the smell of old books. The walls and walls of worlds. Something about the intimacy of stepping into another’s mind; letting another mind in. The moving meditation of the turning pages. Pages sewn together, held together by cover and spine, like body and spirit. What a writer can do with such a small thing, an alphabet. To fill a page with such shining, to me, this is the deepest magic. Deborah Bennett is a writer living in Carbondale, Illinois.

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Throw out everything you learned about writing in school. This includes forgetting about ﬁve-paragraph essays, introductions that drag along, and long-winded sentences.

Delete your opening paragraph. Some of the most compelling stories drop you right into the middle of them. Write more.

Get to the point. Simple sentences are often the best way to go.