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Curious kids (and adults!) with a funny bone will enjoy these faith-stirring, often laugh-out-loud poems inspired by the Bible.

Marty Nystrom does it again! In this collection of lively, clever poems, he brings kids face-to-face with the joyful, rollicking story of God. Steven James,

award - winning storyteller and author of

The Creative Storytelling Guide for Children’s Ministry

A brilliant combination of picture words, rhyme, and Scripture to whet a child’s curiosity for more of the Bible.

Kids will see the New Testament from their own unique perspective.

Frank and Betsy Hernandez,

songwriters ,

Music Machine and

Bullfrogs and Butterflies RELIGION / Christian Ministry / Children ISBN 978-0-7847-2193-3

9 780784 721933

020474310

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Ages 6 & up

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Published by Standard Publishing, Cincinnati, Ohio www.standardpub.com Text Copyright © 2010 by Marty Nystrom Illustrations Copyright © 2010 by Steve Björkman All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form, except for brief quotations in reviews, without the written permission of the publisher.

Printed in: China Project editor: Diane Stortz Jacket and interior design: The DesignWorks Group, Jason Gabbert

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996, 2004. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Scriptures marked NIV are taken from the holy bible, new international version®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 Biblica. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.

The “NIV” and “New International Version” trademarks are registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica. Use of either trademark requires the permission of Biblica.

Scriptures marked KJV are taken from the King James Version of the Bible.

Oreos® is a registered trademark of Kraft Foods, Inc., which is not affiliated with Standard Publishing.

Hawaiian Punch® is a registered trademark of Dr Pepper/Seven Up, Inc., which is not affiliated with Standard Publishing.

ISBN 978-0-7847-2193-3 Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Nystrom, Marty.

Zack, you’re acting zany! : playful poems and riveting rhymes / Marty Nystrom ; illustrated by Steve Björkman. p. cm.

Includes index.

ISBN 978-0-7847-2193-3 (casebound with jacket) 1. Bible--Juvenile poetry. 2. Children’s poetry, American. 3. Humorous poetry, American. I. Björkman, Steve. II. Title.

PS3614.Y7Z33 2010 811'.6--dc22 2009037634

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To my sons, Nathan and Benjamin.

For the wild and crazy Schulz family!

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Gospel Singers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 0

Bird Food. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5 6

Charades . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 1

First Things First. . . . . . . . . . . . 5 8

O Miss Mary. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 2

Joe Judgmental. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6 0

Johnny Jump Up . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 4

Speck-tator . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6 2

Donkey Work . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 6

Snake Sandwich . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6 3

Swaddling Clothes. . . . . . . . . . . . 1 8

Which Way?. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6 4

Humble Beginnings. . . . . . . . . . . 1 9

Sham Lamb. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6 5

Stable Talk. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2 0

Card Castle. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6 6

Wise Men?. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2 3

Hog Haven . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6 8

Christmas Play. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2 4

Be Still. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 70

Open Invitation. . . . . . . . . . . . . 2 6

Head Count. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7 2

Herod’s Gone a-Huntin’. . . . . . 2 7

Free Lunch. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7 3

God Became a Baby Boy . . . . . . 2 8

I Pity Poor Ol’ Peter. . . . . . . . . . . 74

The Carpenter’s Son . . . . . . . . . . 3 1

Bread of Life. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 76

Amazing!. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3 2

Saliva Salve . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7 8

Lost and Found. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3 3

Hotdog Seeds? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7 9

Locusts for Lunch. . . . . . . . . . . . 3 5

Role Reversal. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 80

Announcers. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3 7

Baad Day. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8 2

Nicodemus’s Dilemma. . . . . . . . 3 8

Counting Sheep. . . . . . . . . . . . . 8 4

Titanic Catch. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3 9

Math Problem. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8 5

Fisher of Men . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4 0

Good Sam . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8 6

Up on the Housetop . . . . . . . . . 4 2

Martha’s Complaint. . . . . . . . . . 8 8

Twelve Ordinary Guys. . . . . . . . 4 4

Knock, Knock. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9 0

Mountaintop Experience. . . . . . 4 6

The Pharisees Are Phurious. . . 9 2

Miss Giver. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4 7

Bird’s-Eye View. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9 3

Salt of the Earth. . . . . . . . . . . . . 4 9

King Klifford. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9 4

Night-Light. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5 0

Flower Show. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9 6

Make a Decision. . . . . . . . . . . . . 5 2

Lunch Line . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9 8

Proud Pray-er . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5 4

Celestial Celebration. . . . . . . . . 9 9

Safekeeping. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5 5

Loft Teef. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 0 0

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Pig Out . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 0 2

Wake-Up Call. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 5 0

Party Pooper . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 0 4

B-B-But L-Lord . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 5 2

The Father’s Heart. . . . . . . . . . 1 0 5

The Great Escape . . . . . . . . . . . 1 5 3

Double Header. . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 0 6

Jailhouse Rock . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 5 4

Feelings . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 0 7

Dead Tired. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 5 6

Raising a Stink. . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 0 8

Peter and Paul. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 5 7

Child Care. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 1 0

Mixed Blessing . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 5 9

Needlework. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 1 2

Strong Attachment . . . . . . . . . 1 6 0

True Believer. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 1 3

God’s House . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 6 2

Zack, You’re Acting Zany! . . . . 1 1 4

Body Functions. . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 6 4

Blind Faith. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 1 6

The Eagle, the Beagle, and

Pony on Parade. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 1 7

the Seagull. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 6 5

Rock’s Role. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 1 8

Grace . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 6 6

Clearance Sale. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 2 0

Fruit Bowl. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 6 8

All of Me. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 2 2

Extended Family. . . . . . . . . . . . 1 6 9

Plink, Plink. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 2 3

Wilma Worrisome. . . . . . . . . . . . 1 70

Use It or Lose It . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 2 4

Can-Do Attitude . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 7 2

Reminders. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 2 6

Every Day’s Thanksgiving. . . . 1 74

Dried Flowers. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 2 8

A Good Example . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 7 5

Fig Twig. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 3 0

Bodyguards. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 76

Dream Team . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 3 1

My Conscience. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 7 7

Jesus Got Arrested?. . . . . . . . . 1 3 3

Tough to Tame . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 7 8

Early Bird. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 3 4

Dull Roar. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 8 1

Royal Treatment?. . . . . . . . . . . 1 3 6

Squeaky Clean. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 8 2

Golgotha. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 3 7

Never Too Old . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 8 3

Open Arms. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 3 8

Lukewarm . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 8 5

Good Friday?. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 4 0

No Comparison . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 8 6

Rolling Stone . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 4 1

On Monday I Was Moody. . . . 1 8 8

He’s Alive! He’s Alive! . . . . . . 1 4 2 Page-Turner. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 4 4

Subject Index. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 9 0

Home to Heaven . . . . . . . . . . . 1 4 5

Scripture Index. . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 9 1

The Holy Spirit Comes. . . . . . 1 4 6 Better Than Silver or Gold. . . 1 4 8

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Thank you to my writing group for your encouragement and expertise: Judy Bodmer, Thorn Ford, Betsy Hernandez, Peg Kehle, Kathy Kohler, Kate Lloyd, and Paul Malm. Thanks also to Geoff and Lynn Lyon for hosting us every Thursday morning at The Lyon’s Den. Thank you to our home group, especially leaders Bill and Marlene Brubaker, for your constant and visionary prayer support.

Thank you to the Murfitt family for your priceless friendship and for allowing me to share some of Gabe’s story.

Thank you, Diane Stortz and Standard Publishing, for your pursuit of excellence.

Thanks to my parents, Don and Elajean Nystrom, and to seven of the funniest people I know, my siblings: Maribeth, David, Donela, Lynne, Julie, Sarah, and Lisa.

Thanks, Nate and Ben. It’s been a blast watching you grow up.

Thanks always to my beautiful wife, Jeanne. Your sense of humor refreshes many.

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I was an elementary school teacher. The kids in my class loved it when I read funny poetry aloud. Their response was always, “Read another one, Mr. Nystrom! Please!” Many of these crazy poems had valuable lessons woven into their rhyme and humor. Laughter and learning worked hand in hand.

Jesus was a captivating storyteller. His colorful parables grabbed the attention of his listeners and taught important truths. Some of his tales had a comical predicament or a surprise ending. He even exaggerated sometimes to get his point across. He talked about a man with a log in his eye and a camel squeezing through the hole in a needle.

Jesus met a lot of amusing characters too. You don’t have to look hard to find funny situations in the New Testament!

I hope this book will make you laugh and want to look into God’s wonderful Word yourself to learn more!

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Matthew sings the tenor part.

Mark’s on melody.

Luke belts out the baritone, and John sings bass with glee.

We sing about the good news of One you won’t forget.

We’re Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John— the original gospel quartet!

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Poor ol’ Zachariah!

He cannot speak a word.

He’s trying hard to tell us what he saw and what he heard.

He flaps his arms like outstretched wings— it really looks absurd!

Why’s the guy so tongue-tied just because he saw a bird?

What did Zachariah see and hear?

Find out in Luke 1.

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O Miss Mary, it must have been so scary when the angel just appeared outside your door.

O Miss Mary, it had to be quite eerie— for no angel ever visited before.

O Miss Mary, did it seem imaginary as you trembled on your knees down on the floor?

O Miss Mary, weren’t you sort of wary when he told you everything God had in store?

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O Miss Mary, it’s so extraordinary— you said yes to the message that he bore.

O Miss Mary, the baby that you carry is the promised One we’ve all been waiting for!

What did Mary tell the angel?

Look in Luke 1:38.

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