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Contents Introduction
4
Chapter 1: Addiction 101
8
What exactly is addiction? ................................................8 Addiction can happen to anyone. ...................................12 Addictions are red ags of something deeper. ................18 Addictions come in many forms. ....................................20
Chapter 2: Alcohol
26
Addictions often start with alcohol. ................................26 Addiction affects the body and brain. .............................28
Chapter 3: Drugs
34
There are many drugs of choice. .....................................34 Drugs have damaging consequences. ..............................46
Chapter 4: Other Addictions
54
Cutting is more than skin deep. ......................................54 Sex and pornography are addicting. ................................60 Eating disorders destroy lives. .........................................66 Nicotine has lasting effects. ...........................................76
Chapter 5: Strength to Cope and Hope
82
Find healthy ways to cope with pain. .............................82 We’re meant to have life through God. ...........................90
More Resources ................................................................92 Subpoint Index ................................................................94
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Subpoint in sentence case.
Introduction
Why talk with your teen about addictions? A ddictive behaviors among teens are rising at an alarm-
ing rate. In fact, drug and alcohol abuse has risen over 100 percent in the last few years! Yet many parents stick their heads in the sand and refuse to understand, deal with, or even identify their teen’s world or painful problems—often for good reason. Parents don’t always know how to connect with their teens, especially when talking about or dealing with addictive behaviors. As a concerned parent, you chose this book because you want to be involved in your teen’s life—and you made the right choice! Thank you for caring about your teen’s world enough to engage him while he’s in it. He needs you to come beside him and try to understand the pain that so often manifests itself in addictions.
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.......................... M y hope and prayer is that you will indeed talk to your
teen about addictions—but also that you won’t stop there, for God has so much more! Through open communication and a caring heart, your teen will begin to glimpse the meaning of this powerful biblical truth: “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they [your teenager] may have life, and have it to the full” (John 10:10). God wants your teen to experience the abundant life—and nothing less!
Now, let’s begin to roll up our sleeves and get our arms
around how the thief plans to steal, kill, and destroy our precious teenagers and what you can do to bring them back to the abundant life that Christ promises.
Megan Hutchinson
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Subpoint in sentence case.
CHAPTER 1 — TITLE SMALL CAPS
Where Do You Stand? Working toward helping your teen learn about addictions and how they affect his life is an important part of parenting. The following questionnaire will help you evaluate your own strengths and weaknesses and where your own values and philosophies fit in. Circle the box with the number that best corresponds to your answer. Then add up the total of your answers and check out the How You Scored box. (Consider taking this quiz again after reading the book to see if your score has changed!)
OPTIONS ••••••••••••••••••
❶ Strongly agree ❷ Agree somewhat ❸ Disagree somewhat ❹ Strongly disagree
ADDICTIONS ARE JUST A FORM
I’VE NEVER SET ASIDE TIME TO
OF PERSONAL WEAKNESS AND
DISCUSS THE EFFECTS OF DRUGS
DYSFUNCTION.
AND ALCOHOL WITH MY TEEN.
❶ ❷ ❸ ❹
❶ ❷ ❸ ❹
I THINK THE STATISTICS ABOUT
I KNOW WITHOUT A DOUBT
ADDICTIVE BEHAVIORS ARE VERY
THAT MY TEEN WOULD NEVER
INFLATED BY THE MEDIA.
CONSIDER DRUGS OR DRINKING.
❶ ❷ ❸ ❹
❶ ❷ ❸ ❹
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.......................... CHEWING TOBACCO ISN’T
REAL HELP AVAILABLE FOR
NEARLY AS HARMFUL AS
TEENS WITH ADDICTIONS.
SMOKING.
❶ ❷ ❸ ❹
❶ ❷ ❸ ❹
CUTTING IS SOMETHING ONLY
IF A TEEN IS ADDICTED, HE JUST
GIRLS DO AND IS MUCH LIKE
NEEDS TO BE A STRONGER
GETTING THEIR EARS PIERCED.
PERSON TO KICK THE HABIT.
❶ ❷ ❸ ❹
❶ ❷ ❸ ❹
GAMBLING AND SPENDING
PARENTS DON’T HAVE MUCH
MONEY AREN’T REAL ADDICTIVE
INFLUENCE WITH TODAY’S
BEHAVIORS—JUST BAD HABITS.
TEENS AND WHAT THEY DO.
❶ ❷ ❸ ❹
MAIN POINT TITLE SMALL CAPS
I DON’T THINK THERE’S ANY
❶ ❷ ❸ ❹
HOW YOU SCORED 10—20 Addictions and addictive behaviors are probably tough for you to comprehend. You may either be in denial about the severity of the problem or may just be uninformed about the prevalence of teen addiction. Open discussions with your teen, reading about addictions, and a willing heart may be what you need to understand this growing problem. 21—31 You have a good idea that addictions and addictive behaviors are pretty common in today’s teen world, but you may be reluctant to discuss these topics with your own son or daughter. Remember: Addictions can happen to anyone. Be alert and keep the lines of communication open! 32—40 Give yourself a pat on the back! You’re not in denial about stressors, pressures, and problems teens face daily. You seem informed and willing to admit that your child is surrounded by people, substances, and behaviors that he may want to experiment with—or may already be involved in.
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.......................... Addiction 101:
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CHAPTER 1 — ADDICTION 101
WHAT IT IS AND WHO IT AFFECTS According to the Merriam-Webster’s dictionary, addiction is a compulsive need for a habit-forming substance characterized by tolerance and physiological symptoms upon withdrawal. Simply put, it is a compulsive drive toward something that cannot be stopped without serious behavioral ramifications. Bottom line: addiction is ugly, leaving nothing unscathed.
T h h a o
What exactly is addiction? “It started when I was eleven years old. Just one look at pornography and I was hooked. I knew it was wrong, yet it gripped my every thought. But I couldn’t tell anyone ’cause I was a pastor’s kid who even led worship! But what was I to do? I was completely addicted. It began to affect every area of my life.” — Jerry, 16
Let’s call addiction what it is—ugly.
When teenagers are caught in an ugly web of addiction, they feel that it is nearly impossible to escape. There are many types of addictions that affect teenagers, including drugs, alcohol, exercise, food, shopping, painkillers, sex, pornography, and even relationships. They feel shame, regret, worry, fear, and guilt for their behavior. And they may wonder, “Am I really that bad? Some of my friends hint that I am, but can it be true?” And if it is true, they might wonder: “How can I ever get out of this?”
key p oin
t ADDI CTIO N LEA NOTHVES UNSC ING ATHE D.
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PHYSICAL DEPENDENCE
• • • •
Physiological problems Increased use to be effective Severe withdrawal symptoms Need to decrease dosage to stop
ADDICTION
• • • •
Uncontrolled cravings Involvement in obtaining drugs Using other than for pain relief Using despite consequences
MAIN W HATP EOINT XACTLY TITLE IS A SDDICTION MALL CAPS ?
Teenagers often don’t realize how “ugly” their addiction has gotten until it’s too late and their world has spiraled out of control.
art of the struggle is that many teens don’t know what they’ve gotten themselves into until it’s too late. They hear terms like addiction and dependence but think, “That can’t be me!” Many teenagers and adults may not recognize (or want to recognize) that there’s a distinct difference between someone who is addicted and one who is dependent upon chemicals or other addictive actions. But whether addicted or dependent, the results can be devastating!
P
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hysical dependence requires more and more of a particular drug to gain a “high.” A football player taking painkillers needs to increase the drugs until football season is over, then experiences a few days of difficult withdrawal when he stops. A teen addicted to marijuana or speed may experience mellowing of a mood, elation, or inspiration. But when he “comes down” from a high, he may immediately feel like he needs another “hit” to cope with life. Thus, the tangled web of ugly addiction is in full force—and can lead to a sad trail of personal destruction with draining results to all in its path.
Parents, have you noticed a sudden mood or personality change in your son or daughter? Sudden changes can often signal substance abuse.
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Addictions started long ago. oint key p
CHAPTER 1 — ADDICTION 101
EVENANS STI CHRI N BE CA TED! C ADDI
Solomon tells us in Ecclesiastes 1:9 that “there is nothing new under the sun”—and that is certainly true with addiction. Addiction has been with us for centuries. In fact, there are some accounts showing that the first record of addiction started in the sixth century B.C. from an alcoholic Persian king! Solomon was right—there is nothing new under the sun!
Even Christians struggle with
If you struggled or experimented with a particular drug or addictive behavior, consider sharing this with your teen. Here are a few tips to use when doing so:
addictions. However, for Christians, addiction goes deeper than a physical dependence—it is a tragic bondage of the soul, mind, heart, and body.
• Consider your teen’s age. • Use age-appropriate words. • Don’t tell everything. • Share your struggles. • Share your regrets and lessons.
F
or Christian teens, there is intense internal conflict as they are still trying to understand who God is and how to honor him with their lives. If parents were raised in a Christian family, they do the best they can to help their teens understand God and obey him. However, when temptation hits and kids give in repeatedly, the pattern often forms into an addiction. Thus, a teenager’s feelings of shame, guilt, and conflict slowly seep through the crevices of his life. It is at this point (or hopefully earlier), that a parent needs to seek help. Fortunately for today’s parents, those avenues have become much wider.
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.......................... A ddiction to chemical sub-
Increase from 1994 to 1995.
33%
stances and to other destructive behaviors is rising for all ages. In fact, American teenagers struggle with addictions more than kids in any other country in the world. With the increase in all addictions over age, religions, and ethnic boundaries, what’s being done to bring help to those suffering from these diseases?
WHAT EXACTLY IS ADDICTION?
Increase in teen drug use since 1992.
105%
While history shows that addictions have been on the rise, so have recovery programs!
P
rior to the 1700s there was no help for addicts. But by the twentieth century, organizations such as the Salvation Army began to offer shelter and food along key p oint with a nine-step program to help alcoholics discover H ELP IS a new way of living. The most commonly known THE group started in 1935 and is called Alcoholics IF YORE— WILLU’RE Anonymous. Today there are more than two ING. million who call themselves members of this life-changing twelve-step program, which has broadened into sixteen different anonymous groups for addicts, including Narcotics Anonymous. In addidtion, there is a biblically based eight-step program for 12- to 22-year-olds called Life Hurts—God Heals (www.simplyyouthministry.com).
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time … trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will.” — Reinhold Niebuhr
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Christian addiction help is about releasing the grip of addiction through finding faith in God as well as the meaning and purpose of one’s life. Assure your teen that help is available—we just need to be willing to do whatever it takes to go after it!
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Addiction can happen to anyone. News flash! No one is invincible when it comes to addiction. And while addictions can happen to anyone, there are certain types of people who are more vulnerable than others. Many addictions begin in adolescence when kids are vulnerable to experimenting with new things and reacting to peer pressure.
Teens are vulnerable to addictions.
CHAPTER 1 — ADDICTION 101
Big news, parent! Today’s teen is not the teen you once were—not even close. The journey to adulthood is significantly more challenging, awkward, threatening, and fast-paced than it was for those of us reading this book. However, the one thing we all have in common is what physiologist Erik Erikson named in his book Identity Crisis: the process by which all teenagers explore to determine and establish who they are. For today’s teen, it is a very difficult journey.
Most sociolo-
Teens need time to explore their feelings, dreams, and autonomy. Peers and experimenting help them learn how and where they fit in.
key p oint
TE LIKE ENS TO NEW TRY THIN GS.
key point
TEENS ARE DISCOVERING WHO THEY REALLY ARE.
gists, psychologists, and counselors would agree that today’s adolescents are in the process of asking themselves three major questions: Who am I? (identity); Do I and my choices matter? (autonomy); and Where do I fit in? (belonging). Every preteen, teen, and early adult seeks answers to these questions— and everything that motivates them is one or a mixture of all three answers.
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.......................... ADDICTION CAN HAPPEN TO ANYONE.
Here’s a profile of today’s typical teen. Freddie is a bright student with great potential. He has a decent group of friends but always looks for more. One Friday, Freddie rushes off to school after hours of homework the night before. In class, he sees a guy whom he thinks is cool, and they agree to meet at a party that night. Freddie has never partied before, so he decides to lie to his mom and dad, telling them the youth group has an activity that night and voilá—the plan works! At the party, Freddie wants to be accepted, so he grabs a cigarette, guzzles a beer, and has a blast! On Sunday, Freddie goes to church like normal. On Monday, he arrives at school with his hair spiked and dyed four different colors. His attitude has obviously changed—and his friends notice.
Many factors influence teens, including sports, education, church, family, media, and friends. All of these play roles in who teens are and who they will become.
T
he bottom line? Freddie (and other teens) isn’t intentionally being sinful. Remember: he is trying to figure out who he is, if his choices matter, and where he fits in. This is what all teens are in the process of asking themselves—and it’s the most difficult task they will ever face!
TARGET MOMENT If there is instability in the family, a teen is much more vulnerable to potentially addictive behaviors than kids with secure family environments.
MIDDLE-SCHOOL MEMOS
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Many middle schoolers talk openly about drugs, oral sex, and alcohol. Remind your teen that most students look up to someone not giving in to negative peer pressure.
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There are many signs of a teenage addict.
L et’s start with some great news! Not all teenag-
CHAPTER 1 — ADDICTION 101
ers will try drugs, pick up an alcoholic beverage, or discover they’re attracted to destructive, addictive behaviors. Not all teenagers have a tendency toward such behaviors and temptations. So, you wonder, what are signs of someone with an addictive personality? Let’s look at three key areas:
Family Background Mental & Emotional States Personality Factors
key p oint
FAM INFLUILIES ENCE TE BEHA EN VIOR .
t key poin
TIONS ADDIC BE CAN ALLY IC N E G ETVEN. DRI
There is no greater influence in our lives than that of our families. How we were brought up and in what biological family we were raised has everything to do with who we are and many of the choices we make. In the fifteen years I’ve studied, counseled, and worked alongside teenagers, the biggest factors for a troubled soul stem from unstable family dynamics and genetics. On the flip side, the biggest factors for a joyful soul will likely stem from stable family dynamics and genetics. It works both ways!
DID YOU KNOW ...
Research shows that many addictions are family-related via parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents. There is also a link between fathers and sons with addictive behaviors.
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.......................... C onsider the influence of your teen’s mental
Many parents become afraid when faced with their teen’s possible addictive behaviors. But take heart — God has his eye on your beloved child! Read Joshua 1:9 and know that God is with you.
ADDICTION CAN HAPPEN TO ANYONE.
and emotional states. If your teenager has trouble controlling her responses to negative situations, she will be more inclined to turn to addictive behaviors to temporarily alter her moods. Behaviors such as drinking, smoking, sex, self-injury, video games, and overeating can often serve as mental and emotional getaways!
Behaviors such as smoking often serve as mental escapes.
Personality is the third area that affects possible addictive behaviors. Let’s begin with teens who are not inclined to break the rules or take risks. These are “A” type personalities who are too afraid of potential consequences to break rules. However, if your teen is a risk-taker, be on the alert! These teens try everything once without considering the consequences. Risktaker teens are not bad; in fact, they can be very fun to be around, though they may take a lot of energy, time, and guidance!
THE TOP 18 SIGNS OF AN ADDICTED TEENAGER
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• Sudden mood changes
• Lying and stealing
• Grades dropping
• Disrespectful attitudes
• Change in friends
• Running away
• Lack of hygiene
• Aggressiveness
• Sudden weight drop or gain
• Easily angered
• Depression or moodiness
• Often tired
• Withdrawal from family
• Verbally abusive
• Reckless behavior
• Often late
• Lethargic and hopeless
• Forgetful
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Addiction has powerful effects.
The powerful effects of addiction are felt in several major areas of an addict’s life, including her thinking, feeling, behavior, and spiritual wellbeing. Let’s take a deeper look at the effcts of addictive behaviors on teens.
A teenager who is addicted will inevi-
key point
YOU CANNOT CHANGE SOMEONE’S BEHAVIOR.
THINKING
N CTIO ADDITS EVERY AFFECEA OF A . AR ’S LIFE TEEN
tably become more mentally defensive. She may begin to imagine that everyone is against her and that the world is falling in on her. She may lose memory of events, special occasions, and daily duties. An addicted teen may deny facts about a specific event or relationship. The lines become blurred between what is fact and what is fiction. Self-injury may sneak in as the addict searches for a way out of her traumatic thoughts or paranoias. If this doesn’t satisfy her needs (and it won’t), she will dive deeper into the waters of her addiction for further escape.
A n addicted teen goes through a FEELING
CHAPTER 1 — ADDICTION 101
oint key p
tremendous potpourri of feelings on any given day. But perhaps the greatest negative emotion for an addict is an inability to gain control of himself—or over his addiction. This feeling intensifies as he find himself behaving in ways that contradict his personality. Shame, guilt, loneliness, depression, and anxiety swirl in the murky waters of addiction.
TARGET MOMENT For the nonaddict, chances are you can’t stop thinking about your addicted friend or family member. Remind yourself of the biblical truth of Isaiah 55:8, 9.
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G s m h
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.......................... BEHAVIOR
behavior can be all over the map. It may seem a bit like schizophrenia at times, but be assured, it’s not. The addiction of choice takes over, leaving behavioral signs such as angry outbursts, abusive language, aggressive actions, and dishonesty. Because addiction changes one’s personality, behavior inevitably follows.
SPIRITUALITY
When a teenager is under
ADDICTION CAN HAPPEN TO ANYONE.
In an addicted teenager’s world,
Often a teen’s behavior causes great anxiety to parents. Remember: You are powerless over her choices and behaviors. You can encourage, pray, and hope, but you cannot force healthy behaviors. That must come from within the addict herself. Hold tight—God is near.
the control of her own worldly desires and chooses to live them out through addictions, she will experience unrest. As Paul wrote in Romans 8:6, “The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace.” Whenever sin controls one’s mind, be it drugs, alcohol, the Internet, compulsive shopping, gambling, pornography, or self-injury, the effect is a life that lacks hope and peace.
GUARD YOUR OWN FEELINGS! Give yourself permission to have moments of healthy separation from your teen addict. If you don’t, you may end up depressed. Here are some ideas for healthy separation:
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• Get coffee with a friend. • Go for a walk near a lake or park. • Plan an overnight somewhere relaxing. • Join an adult Bible-study group. • Get a massage!
Remember: Jesus understands how you feel! Hebrews 4:15 reminds us that Jesus is able to understand and sympathize with us in all things.
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Addictions are red flags of something deeper. Addictions are warning signs that something deeper is going on below the surface. No one finds himself addicted for the fun of it. Whether addiction signals a physical, emotional, or spiritual problem, the results are the same: addictions destroy lives. It’s important to discover the root of the addictive behavior, for only then can healing begin in your loved one.
CHAPTER 1 — ADDICTION 101
Addiction equals pain. “I think teenagers are tempted by addictions because we are all searching for something to heal our inner pain, so when we find something that makes us feel a little better, we cling to it.” — Christina, 17 “Teenagers are tempted because of stress, overall changes in life, peer pressure, striving for perfection, pressure from parents … everything!” — Sean, 16
C
oint key p
S TEENHIDE N E OFT HEIR T . PAIN
hristina and Sean express the feelings shared by most teenagers involved in addictions. As caring adults, it is our goal to help troubled teens understand their pain, to cope by providing tools to help them through, and to offer hope.
In order to understand suffering, it’s important to understand the two main types of pain. The first type of pain is when something has been done to you. The second kind of pain is when something is done by you. Regardless of which pain describes your teen, when pain hits, it hurts deeply, often lasting years. It’s imperative to get to the root of the pain.
“For a youngster to remain free from substances, it is advantageous if parents set clear behavioral limits and maintain interpersonally satisfying relationships with their children.” — Coombs & Landsverk
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m it w te a th a In e D y
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er.
.......................... you set a pot of water on the stove and turn on the heat. Eventually the water starts boiling, right? What is making the water boil? It’s not the pot or the water, but the heat under the pot. The pain in a teenager’s life is similar. It’s our job as trusted adults to help him get to the flame that makes the water (his life) boil out of control. Some people go their whole lives with the water boiling and never look honestly at the flame—the root of their pain. “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds” (Psalm 147:3).
Whatever the “flame” of pain
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may be in the teenager you know, it is important to recognize that while her poor choices may temporarily change with help, her addiction will likely return until the pain is thoroughly dealt with and worked through. WARNING: In dealing with pain, there is no easy way out—it can take years. Don’t give up! Hurting teens need you to stick it out.
ADDICTIONS ARE RED FLAGS OF SOMETHING DEEPER.
L et me illustrate. Imagine
TEEN PRESSURES FAMILY: • Parents separating or divorcing • Non-nurturing parents • General turmoil • Favoritism of siblings • Poor communication SOCIALLY: • Constantly changing schools • Inability to make or keep friends • Doesn’t “fit in” socially or in appearance EDUCATION: • Pressure for straight “A’s” • Comparing grades to others • Slower learning capabilities SPORTS: • Pressure to always win • Demands of continual practice • Performance compared to others THE CHURCH: • Pressure to know the “right, biblical” answer • Shame or guilt • Fear of not measuring up
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Addictions come in many forms. When it comes to addiction, one size doesn’t fit all. There are at least ten types of common substance addictions and perhaps just as many nonsubstance addictions. And there are many reasons why a teenager will be driven toward one type of substance or behavior over another. That’s why it’s important to know the various types of substances abused by susceptible teenagers.
CHAPTER 1 — ADDICTION 101
Know the substances teens abuse. “I think the most popular drug on my school campus is … “Pot” —Andrew, 15 “Pot, then coke, then speed” —Mel, 14 “Alcohol” —Jenna, 16 “Ecstasy and cocaine” —James, 18
So what substances are commonly abused by teens? The obvious answer is alcohol and drugs, but there are additional substances that many find themselves addicted to, called “toxins.” Alcohol, drugs, and toxins are addictive because of their powerful effects to either stimulate or depress the mind and body of the user.
key p oi
nt KNO SUBSW WHAT T ARE BANCES ABUSEING ED.
Among young people between the ages of 12 and 17, about 1.1 million meet the diagnostic criteria for dependence on drugs, and about 1 million are treated for alcohol dependency.
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.......................... ADDICTIONS COME IN MANY FORMS.
For the caring adult whose life intersects with that of a teenage substance abuser, it’s important to be fully aware of two things: (1) what is out there, and (2) that there is always a deeper reason why teens get involved in chemical addictions. The more you educate yourself about the chemicals kids use, the less you will be shocked by what’s “out there.” Here are ten classes of commonly abused substances and their descriptions. • NICOTINE: A toxic alkaloid found in tobacco and also used in liquid form as an insecticide (cigarettes, chewing tobacco, cigars). • ALCOHOL: A colorless liquid produced by fermentating sugar or starch (beer, wine, hard liquor such as vodka, whiskey, or rum). • COCAINE: An addictive narcotic obtained from the leaves of the coca plant; an illegal stimulant (“coke” or “crack”). • HALLUCINOGEN: A drug or substance that causes hallucinations (LSD, Ecstasy or “X”). • AMPHETAMINE: A white crystalline compound used as a stimulant of the central nervous system (methamphetamine, speed, crystal meth). • CANNABIS: A drug produced from the dried leaves, seeds, stems, and flowers of the hemp plant (marijuana, pot, weed, and hashish). • INHALANT: A vapor or gas that is inhaled (gasoline, glue, paint thinner, spray paint). • OPIOID: Any of various opium-containing substances or derivatives (morphine, heroin, codeine, methadone, oxycodone). • PHENCYCLIDINE : A drug used as an anesthetic in veterinary medicine and illegally as a hallucinogen (PCP, angel dust, ketamine). • SEDATIVE, HYPNOTIC, and ANXIOLYTIC: A drug that induces sedation, especially by means of a tranquilizing effect (benzodiazepines such as valium, barbiturates, prescription sleeping medications, and most prescription antianxiety medications).
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Recognize addictive behaviors. oint key p
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Not all addictions are chemical in nature—
some are behavioral. A teenager’s behavioral or nonsubstance addiction will take over his thinking as completely as a chemical addiction and zap him of energy and motivation. Because the addictions are typically done alone or with complete strangers, teen addicts suffer key poin t stunted relationships and feelings of shame, guilt, ADDIC T I and embarrassment. V E BE
CHAPTER 1 — ADDICTION 101
AIN CERT IORS V A BEH ECOME B CAN ICTIVE. ADD
L et’s differentiate between nonsubstance addic-
HAVIO CREAT RS SHAME E A GUILT. ND
tion and chemical addiction. Nonsubstance addictions typically attract a different crowd than those of substance users, but not always. This crowd of teenagers still seeks an escape from their pain, but their “escape of choice” manifests itself in destructive, self-inflicted behaviors more than in chemicals. There are some teens, however, who combine substance and nonsubstance addictons, such as habitually abusing alcohol and sex. “I started cutting when I was in the third grade. My dad left when I was born, so I lived with my mom and grandma and they don’t get along. So I found myself buying or stealing razor blades. In the 4th grade, I ran the metal edge of a ruler down my arm and seeing just that one drop of blood made me think: “Yes! This is what I need—this is what I deserve!” —Dez, 14
TH TRY
IS!
Encourage your teen with words she needs to hear! • I believe in you. • I trust in you. • You can choose well. • You are loved. • You’re worth listening to. • You are valued.
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.......................... • Computer games • Internet • Pornography • Sex • Self-injury (cutting) • Shopping
ADDICTIONS COME IN MANY FORMS.
There are many types of nonsubstance addictions, including the following: • Music & media • Sports • Eating problems • Work • Gambling • Stealing
A ll these behaviors may draw teenagers in because teens feel good when they are practicing their addictions. And “Hey, if it feels good, do it,” so many teenagers think. It’s up to loving adults to help teens recognize the danger and damage caused by engaging in destructive, addictive behaviors—and to help them realize the lies behind addictive behaviors that steal away hope.
TARGET MOMENT Nonsubstance addiction often attracts a different crowd of users than chemical addictions.
F
h !
to.
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or nonsubstance abusing teens, it’s especially difficult to discuss their struggles. They often wonder if there’s really lifechanging help. Loving parents and other caring adults must gently embrace these hurting kids by assuring them we will see them through to the end, whenever and whatever that may be. We are in it for the long haul.
The similarity between substance and nonsubstance addictions is a drive for escape that provides a feeling of release, pleasure, and stimulation.
BIG BIBLE POINT Share 1 Timothy 4:12 with your teen, then discuss how living as a good example of Christ’s love provides all the hope we need—without chemicals or destructive behaviors.
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.......................... ALCOHOL
HOW DO YOU KNOW?
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DRUGS
Drug and alcohol addiction are often hidden until the signs are too
prominent to ignore. Early signals help parents, teachers, leaders, and teens know if a problem is developing. Here is a simple and popular screening test called the CAGE questionnaire. CAGE is an acronym that forms the basis of each of the four questions you can ask a teenager regarding substance abuse.
✴ Have you ever tried to Cut down your substance use? ✴ Have you ever been Annoyed by people trying to talk to you about your substance use?
✴ Do you ever feel Guilty about your substance use? ✴ Do you ever need an Eye-opener (using the substance first thing in the morning) in order to start your day?
LEVELS OF ADDICTION
SCORING: A yes answer to two or more of these questions is an indication that this teenager should be referred for deeper questioning and care.
USE ABUSE
The occasional use of a substance without developing tolerance or withdrawal symptoms. The continued use of substance(s) even while knowing that the continued use is creating problems socially, physically, or psychologically and spiritually.
DEPENDENCY
When several of the following are present: a persistent desire for more substances over longer periods of time; unsuccessful efforts to control use; tolerance has increased; substance is taken to relieve withdrawal; social and physical problems.
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.......................... Invite a teen you love to take this quiz, then read the scoring if you suspect he or she may have a problem with alcohol or drug use. Talk to your family doctor if you think your teen may be struggling with addiction. Intervention can be a powerful way to say: “I love you, and I care!”
1. Do you use alcohol or drugs to build self-confidence? 2. Do you ever drink or get high immediately after problems at home or school? 3. Have you ever missed school due to alcohol or drugs? 4. Does it bother you if someone says you use or drink too much? 5. Have you started hanging out with a heavy-drinking or drug-using crowd? 6. Are alcohol or drugs affecting your reputation? 7. Do you feel guilty after using alcohol or drugs? 8. Do you borrow money to buy alcohol and other drugs? 9. Do you feel a sense of power when you use or drink? 10. Have you lost friends since using alcohol or drugs? 11. Has there ever been someone in your family with a drinking or other drug problem? 12. Do you think you have a problem with alcohol or drugs? SCORING: If you answered yes to three of the above questions, you may be at risk for developing alcoholism or dependence on a substance or drug. If you answered yes to five of them, you should seek professional help immediately.
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