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Joel Warne

s oul craving A n I n v i t a t i o n t o t h e Fe a s t Th a t S a t i s f i e s

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The Feast Begins

A wintry night some years ago found me in a snug living room with friends, discussing the costs and rewards connected to our journey with God. We had been exploring the Gospel of Luke and had come upon the account of the ill woman who pressed through the crowd to touch Jesus for healing.

The conversation revolved around the risks this woman took in coming to Christ. We noted, for example, that she risked having her request rejected by Jesus, which in a real sense would have felt like a rejection of herself. She also risked being disappointed by Jesus if, for some reason, even if he had wanted to, he had not been able to give her what she desired. And she risked revealing her private, even embarrassing problem to

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everyone present. Yet, despite the obstacles, she pushed her frail body through the crush of people that surrounded him and drew close to Christ, stretching out a trembling hand to touch him. Luke tells us she received what she sought (see Luke 8:43-48).

We pondered the passage for a while, mulling over its implications for us. What would it mean to touch Jesus Christ as the woman did? What risks might be involved? What difficulties might we face? What would be the rewards? What healing, inner expansiveness, and life answers would it yield? And what might be the costs?

As we kicked these things around, suddenly a voice in the group announced, “You know, I don’t think I want to be that kind of Christian.” A young man, a regular to the group, continued: “That sounds like a lot of work. I think I would rather just be the sort of Christian, you know, who trusts Jesus for my salvation so when I die I can go to Heaven. But as for all that other stuff—that’s too extreme for me.”

For an awkward moment or two, the group tried to weigh whether our friend was joking. It turned out he was entirely serious.

The idea of weaving God into one’s life in such a way that his companionship flavors every area was apparently not what our friend had signed up for. A safer, less troublesome

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approach to God was quite enough for him. He preferred a sort of transactional relationship—one in which he would give God just enough trust to get himself just enough salvation to be sure everything worked out safely in the end. But beyond that, he and God would strictly respect each other’s space.

Our friend was not new to spiritual things. Of the dozen or so people in the study group, he was the most faithful attendee.

He enjoyed the group and it meant a lot to him. But spiritual things were important to him like exercise is important to some people, or gardening, or art. God represented a certain slice of meaning and value in his life. Yet, although you may love to garden, you don’t bring your rake and hoe with you everywhere you go, and in his view neither was it practical to bring God into every area of life. Better to simply give him a respected place among many other interests.

I remember feeling a certain pleasure at his honesty. This young man was simply voicing how, as a practical matter, most of us quietly live our lives with God anyway. There are certain “religious” rooms in our hearts in which God is welcome and others into which it doesn’t even enter our minds to invite him.

Even though his candor was refreshing, my friend’s view was also deflating. I thought, No, I’ve got enough disconnected pieces of life to juggle already. I don’t need another separate piece called religion to try to balance among them. Instead I need an integrating faith, one that infuses all the individual pieces of my

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life with a unifying spirit, tone, and direction. A faith that is the focus and springboard of my life. I need an experience of God that speaks to my fractured soul, like Jesus spoke to the ill woman, “Your faith has healed you. Go in peace” (Luke 8:48).

A permeating relationship like that is certainly what God has in mind. Yet, at first glance, such an integrated, thoroughgoing faith can appear pretty intimidating. You see, to many of us, Christianity largely means a long list of behaviors to achieve, beliefs to maintain, and religious functions at which to put in regular appearances. If that is our experience of faith, then my friend’s strategy of isolating his faith to limited and manageable areas of life is a very good plan. After all, aren’t our plates terribly full already? Who needs more chores to perform than absolutely necessary?

Soul Craving I am a pretty good example of the religious-duties-as-faith approach to God. Growing up, I somehow picked up the idea that although God loved me, he didn’t like me very much. He loved me because he was God. It was his job to love me. But to get him to like me required that I perform for him at a constantly high level. That sort of relationship with God—one of endless vigilance to keep our accounts current through correct behavior, right thinking, and religious work—deserves to be shrunk to as narrow a sliver of life as possible. There is no water down that well.

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But what if faith is something different? What if faith means a transforming relationship with someone who consistently breathes life and meaning into everything he touches? What if faith is a heart-to-heart relationship with someone who knows me deeply, accepts me totally, and has the power to increasingly restore my fragmented soul? What if faith opens a doorway into the personal reality every human soul has craved since the day we were born? That would be the sort of faith you would not want to limit, isolate, or confine to out-of-the-way areas of life.

Instead, you would want that faith to overflow the few narrow streams of your heart through which it currently trickles until it floods your whole being.

Such a permeating intimacy with God is the goal of this book. An intimate, integrated faith involves: • weaving the Spirit of Christ throughout all of our daily experience; • progressively “living into” a new order of things as represented by the cross and resurrection of Jesus Christ; • steadily escaping a life of cramped self-focus in favor of the expansive things God has planned for us in Christ; • an inner posture that encourages us to lie intimately upon Jesus’ breast until we find our hearts beating more and more in harmony with his.

Such intimacy with God is the treasure in the field that Jesus

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says is worth selling everything in order to purchase (Matthew 13:44). It’s what King David panted after (Psalm 63) and what the apostle Peter flung himself into a sea to pursue (John 21:113). It’s a bottomless well that slakes your thirst while strangely making you thirstier, a waterfall that washes away the debris of an old life as it irrigates a new life inside.

And the greatest thing of all, from a human perspective, is that such a life is anchored in a relationship of the heart.

Transforming intimacy with God is not primarily the product of a set of disciplines (though discipline is involved). It isn’t dependent on a grasp of special spiritual insights (though insights are sometimes given). It is not a reward for right behavior, religious productivity, or airy spiritual thinking.

Instead, as a relationship of love, it thrives on the kinds of behaviors lovers show one another.

Beloved of Christ In searching out the attitudes and activities that lead to intimacy with God, it is helpful to ponder intimacy between lovers.

What do lovers want?

How do lovers act?

What do lovers feel?

How do lovers treat one another?

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God intends the love demonstrated between human lovers to paint a picture of how intimacy develops between Christ and our souls. Consider these love poems from the Bible’s Song of Songs. They illustrate the level of romance God yearns for in our relationship with him: The King: “Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, and come with me” (Song of Songs 2:10).

The Maiden: “How handsome you are, my lover! . . . Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest is my lover among the young men. I delight to sit in his shade, and his fruit is sweet to my taste” (1:16; 2:3).

The King: “You have stolen my heart, my sister, my bride; you have stolen my heart with one glance of your eyes, with one jewel of your necklace” (4:9).

The Maiden: “My lover is radiant and ruddy, outstanding among ten thousand. . . . His mouth is sweetness itself; he is altogether lovely. . . . I belong to my lover, and his desire is for me” (5:10, 16; 7:10).

Wow! When was the last time your soul swam waters like that with God? There is healing in such intimacy. Power. Deep resources for moving ahead on the journey. And all of this results, not from believing with precise correctness or behaving just right, but from savoring God as your most intimate lover.

Some of us are without romantic mates in this life, either by

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choice or against our desire. Some of us are married or hope to be one day. Still others of us have met with bitter disappointments in our relationships. Regardless of our experience of human love, God has built inside us, both male and female, a desire for affection and romance that finds its most complete satisfaction in him. “As a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you” (Isaiah 62:5).

A thousand years from now, all that seems pressing and important today will have been sifted by eternity, leaving us only one great reality to live—the reality of our relationship with God as his prized eternal spouse (Revelation 21). Astounding! This, in the end, says the Bible, is who we are at our most fundamental level—the wedded bride of Jesus Christ. We have no rich dowry to offer, no prestigious family to recommend us, and in case you haven’t noticed, our hearts are not all that attractive. Still, not only does God save us, he marries us! What does such a relationship reveal about how God treasures us, about our value to him? What confidence should it lend us about his commitment to provide for and protect us? And how might such security in Christ embolden us to risk the adventures to which he calls us today?

Should we not begin to live the reality of our future intimacy with Jesus Christ right now, in time and space? Should we not make our decisions, approach our difficulties, and live our

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relationship with our bridegroom out of our identity as his beloved?

Christians have been given a tremendous privilege. First, Christian faith is designed to invade every area of life, including the most ordinary. It is intended to give life a unity, direction, and cohesion, a transforming spirit that seasons one’s whole life with the flavor of Heaven. And wonderfully, this faith is not a discipline, a philosophy, or even a religion but a love affair.

It commences and grows increasingly vibrant as the lovers daily look into each other’s eyes and say “Yes!”

Your Place at the Feast It sometimes happens that although we may wish for a more loving, intimate relationship with God, we feel, in fact, distant from him. He is more like a concept or religious idea than a Father or friend. How do we stir love for God? How do we increase our sense of passion for him?

Well, to begin, it might encourage you to realize that by choosing to read a book like this, you are demonstrating a level of passion for Christ already. This same passion, however small, simply needs to be tended and kindled until it burns brighter and brighter. And this can be accomplished in several key ways.

First, simply ask God to deepen your heart’s desire for Jesus. It was a happy day in my life when I came across these

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liberating words in one of the apostle Paul’s letters: God is “at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure” (Philippians 2:13, NASB). At a time when I thought it was up to me to generate a vibrant love and desire for God, Paul seemed to be saying that this was God’s job. Here was a new thought— that if I requested, God would actually form inside me a deeper passion for Christ, a longing for him and his world.

So I asked him to do just that. I prayed something like, “Lord, part of me wants you and part of me doesn’t. I can’t make myself want you more. I’ve tried and it doesn’t last. Would you please begin to replace my desire for other things with a greater desire for you?”

And he did. Not entirely and not immediately. But over time I noticed a deeper drawing toward God and a delight in things having to do with him that I hadn’t known before. I’ve prayed that prayer many times over the years, and God has always answered it, deepening my love and cementing my passion for him.

Next, as you regularly ask God to increase your appetite for Christ, you will notice a growing taste for things having to do with him. The Bible will seem a little more attractive. Prayer will have greater appeal. You’ll feel a heightened hunger to detach from old securities and live with increasing dependence upon God. Listen to your new appetites! Feed your growing hunger for God with the spiritual food and drink described in the following

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chapters. This food represents a feast for the soul.

At this feast we take our place at the table alongside the courageous woman of Luke’s Gospel. With her, we stretch out uncertain hands to receive from Jesus that peculiar touch that heals our wounds, settles our fears, and forms a filling new wholeness deep inside.

Jesus, my fragmented heart feels a hunger for something I can’t describe that I don’t find in the world around me. I’ve tasted a thousand options, and still my longing is sharp. I’m hungry for a home, a place where I’m treasured, an embrace where I am safe and wanted. Could this home be you, dear Jesus? Do your arms hold a place for me? Increase my courage, Lord, to turn day to day from things that leave me empty to feed my heart instead with more and more of you.

Amen.

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