Stemme issue 4 by Stemme Magazine

where stud meets femme. a magazine for queers. Issue 4 cover illustration by kazz douie

Sebastian Causton / trans pride / Butch, Please! / LGBTQ Disabilities / Junkyard Dogs Liz Ridgway / Jules Haydon Guaitamacchi / Fat Cabaret / Queer Prom

June 2018

Welcome... In this quarter’s issue, we’re celebrating the summer and all the goodness that comes with it. Let’s celebrate our community’s beauty together this season. We’re here, we’re queer and we’ve got a whole host of awesome things to do together in the next three months. We’ve put special emphasis on the lives of the trans community, with some incredible writers and contributors. Trans Pride also returns to Brighton Fri 20 - Sun 22 July, giving us all a great opportunity to commemorate the event’s sixth year together. As ever, this is a magazine for all of us. Read, discuss, get angry, and laugh. That’s what we’re here for and we’d be nothing without our writers, supporters and, of course, you lovely lot giving the magazine a read. Welcome to the fourth edition of Stemme. Freya Hughes Editor

Stemme Magazine - we’re looking for contributors, get in touch! stemmemagazine@gmail.com @stemmemagazine

stemmemagazine.co.uk

Editor - Freya Hughes Design - Rosie Blackwell-Sutton Contributors - Kazz Douie, Sarah-Kye Faulkner, Annabel Pribelszki, Sebastian Causton, Rosie Blackwell-Sutton, Alex Adams, Liz Ridgway, Jules Haydon Guaitamacchi, Mathilda Gregory, Nailor Swift, Christina Doyle Cover Art - Kazz Douie Additional Artwork - Kid Squid Illustration - kidsquidillustration.com With special thanks to everyone involved. We’re always looking for writers, artists and advertisers. Drop us an email at stemmemagazine@gmail.com

LGBTQ Disabilities by sarah-kye faulkner

Brighton and Hove LGBTQ Switchboard was founded in 1975 and has been providing support to the LGBTQ community in and around Brighton ever since. Originally a helpline, Switchboard has grown a lot over the years. They now have the LGBTQ Older People’s Project, the Trans Survivors Switchboard, an LGBTQ dementia group called Rainbow Cafe, the LGBTQ Health and Inclusion Project (HIP) and the LGBTQ+ Disabilities Project. Switchboard works to identify needs and gaps in services for LGBTQ+ people with intersectional identities who face multiple forms of discrimination. Through HIP consultation, they identified a wide variety of unsupported needs of local LGBTQ+ disabled people in the city. As a result of those consultations, the LGBTQ+ Disabilities Project was formed. This is led by Sarah-Kye Faulkner.

Disabilities Project group hopes to address. A key challenge for the group is responding to isolation and loneliness. We are in contact with many people who find it difficult to leave their homes due to lack of support around their disabilities and/or long-term health conditions. The busy city is already challenging to navigate for many but for those with mobility issues, those who are neurodivergent and those with sensory issues, things can feel almost impossible at times. Group members often share stories of having unwanted attention drawn to them when requesting to use facilities such as accessible toilets in city venues and a multitude of other barriers including accessibility issues, loud music, heavy air-freshener scent in bathrooms, strip lights or flashing lighting, overlapping conversations, the risk of being nudged in a busy bar, lack of gender-neutral and accessible toilets, and more.

Sarah-Kye writes... I identify as a queer disabled person and am very passionate about the issues which Brighton & Hove Switchboard’s LGBTQ+

LGBTQ+ disabled people feel excluded not just in ‘mainstream’ places but also in LGBTQ+

spaces where there can be a huge pressure to conform to expectations in terms of body image, appearance and neurotypical behaviours. This can be frustrating and exhausting for us. People report feeling that there is pressure to almost separate their identities in order to try and to fit in. Of course, people should be accepted as queer in disabled spaces and accepted as disabled in queer spaces. It can feel like a case of never the twain shall meet, even now in 2018. Having a marginalised identity makes living in this world challenging but having more than one marginalised identity seems can make things feel almost impossible. The group aims to raise awareness and work towards changing this. We hope that people feel accepted, welcomed, supported and celebrated as LGBTQ+ disabled people as part of the group.

I would urge anyone who identifies as being LGBTQ+ and disabled to make contact with the group. There is no pressure to attend events. You can pick and choose how involved you would like to be. Some members prefer online chat, some emails, some calls, some like to keep an eye on the Facebook group and others attend most events. It is to be used as you see fit. Contact the group, here: Sarah-Kye Faulkner (she/her or they/them) LGBTQ Disabilities Worker Brighton & Hove LGBTQ Switchboard Community Base 113 Queens Road Brighton BN1 3XG Tel: 01273 234009 Email: sarahkye.faulkner@switchboard.org.uk

We know that LGBTQ+ people are much more likely to experience mental health issues and that mental health issues often manifest physically. Living with mental health issues often causes physical health issues. The body and mind are inextricably linked, as is my queer identity and my identity as a disabled person. It is not sustainable for one to go through life being expected to sever the different aspects of themselves. I am queer when I go into hospital for my operations. I am disabled when I enter a queer space. I wish to be seen as my true self, as a whole, with all of the complex interwoven elements which make me up, recognised and acknowledged.

My usual days of work are Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays 9am till 5pm facebook.com/groups/LGBTQDisabledGroup

Editor and poet Liv Mammone writes, “Getting here is hard. Even if the workshop is in my living room, getting there is hard. So somebody’s probably gonna show up in pyjamas, crocs, mismatched socks, unshowered, hair falling loose from ponytail whatever. Either they’re embarrassed or don’t give a fuck. Either way, they don’t need you mentioning it.” I think that this sums up the ethos of the group.

How long have you been performing?

Sebastian causton Sebastian Causton has been performing poetry for just over a year. It’s a cathartic practice and brought him into a world of like-minded creatives, always truthful and raw with their art. Helping him through his transition, Seb’s poem, Alias, is about his relationship with his parents and their reaction to his coming out firstly as queer, and then as transgender. It was first performed at the Royal Albert Hall not a mean feat for a beginner. It was also the debut of using his new name, which was a huge moment in Sebastian’s life. Poetry is a release and way of expressing himself, so we wanted to find out more about the creative process.

photo by Emma Bailey

How long have you lived in Brighton? I moved to Brighton in August 2016 as I wanted to explore a new place. I have always wanted to live by the sea, and I had also heard that Brighton was a wonderfully queer-friendly place. I hoped it would give me the encouragement and support to work through all the gender funks I was feeling. Brighton has truly delivered. I have found an amazing group of friends and now feel more myself than I ever have before.

I did my first open mic night at The Globe pub in Brighton around spring time last year. In August whilst on holiday at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival with my brother, I signed up for what we thought was an open mic night, but which actually turned out to be a poetry slam. I ended up winning the slam, and as a result, won a place in the National Hammer and Tongue poetry slam in the Royal Albert Hall. I only told a few friends as I genuinely thought it must be a joke, but it wasn’t.

Has writing and performing poetry helped with transitioning?

In January I attended the final and made it to round 4 out of 5. So it has only been a year, but an insane one, considering in 2017 it was my new year’s resolution to perform poetry, instead of whispering it to my friends whilst demanding that they didn’t look at me.

Everyone is different, but for me questioning and exploring my gender identity has been an extremely confusing time. There were so many emotions and feelings battling with each other, that writing about them became a way of being honest and understanding how I felt. When people in my life asked about gender and how I was, I was in such a tangle of feelings I didn’t know what to say, so I began to show them my poems. I have received so much love and support from both the queer and poetry communities regarding my poems, which has allowed me to slowly grow in confidence on stage, but also within myself. Beyond the poetry scene, my poems have done so much for me personally, including strengthening my relationship with my family.

Where do your motivation and inspiration come from?

Do you have any favourite poets and poems who you admire?

Someone in my life challenged me to write a haiku daily, and it became like a diary, influenced by that day meaning that the poems varied from eating crisps, to really struggling with the gender funks. It showed me that I love writing about life, the ups and downs, the funny stuff, the painful stuff, both in relation to my trans and queer identity, but also the other things too, like being an awkward human, romance, embarrassing incidents.

I have to admit that I only started exploring poetry properly last year, I had always scribbled it down but not read or watched that much, so I am still finding out who my favourites are. But a few that stick out for me are Phases by Kevin Kantor and Sienna Burnet, which is about queer kids being told their love is ‘just a phase’ and 13 Commandments by Kate Tempest which is a list of advice for navigating life.

When I was at the Hammer and Tongue final, I witnessed the magic of the poetry community for the first time. To see people up there sharing, intimate, hilarious, powerful parts of themselves was extremely inspiring, to the point that I even wrote a poem on the way home!

Where can we find out more?

If you would like to hear about future projects you can keep updated via my social media. facebook.com/SCaustonPoetry @SCaustonpoetry

alias by sebastian causton I'm going to see my parents, and a balance is hard to find between which bits of myself I take with me, and which parts I leave behind. They have issues with my queerness, but for the first time they are trying to try, and this has got me thinking that maybe so should I. I guess I could wear a hat, to shield them from my shaved head. I guess I could swap my boxers for lady pants instead. I guess for just one weekend I could manage not to bind, and instead of being an angry queer, I could pretend that, I don’t mind. I guess to make my Dad smile I could wear a dress, and act like everything is fine, and I am not a mess. I guess I could put mascara around my eyes, another mask to hide behind, just adding to the lies. I’ll let them call me daughter, and I’ll let them call me she, even though every word is like a bullet to me. I could pretend that I am ok, be gracious, and smile. Avoid topics like work have suggested I get signed off for a while. I can’t talk about my friends, because most of them are queer, or if they’re not, they understand a queer life is happening right here. I can’t talk about my job, because I work in sexual health, and they see sex as something that revolves around a queer self. I can’t talk about where I live because Brighton is ‘too gay’, and living here has affected me in a ‘detrimental way’. I can’t talk about romance, but I’ve had six years of that, I keep the flutterings of my heart silent. I’ve got it down pat. I can’t say what I’m scared of, because it would frighten the fuck out of them too. I can’t say I’m worried I’m drifting from you. If I leave all this behind, then what have I got left? I’d be empty, nothing, bereft. So I know you are trying, and I want to too, but if I don’t bring all of this, I can’t give myself to you.

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Junkyard Dogs by annabel pribelszki I met up with Laura Chatburn and Sarah-Jayne Brook, the proprietors of Junkyard Dogs, 142 Edward Street, Brighton. Junkyard Dogs is a completely independent multi-arts venue, with a welcoming and vibrant café/bar and separate black box performance space. You can enjoy live music, comedy and spoken word events. They host art exhibitions and offer private party hire, as well as serving great food, coffee and booze. Laura and Sarah love welcoming and hosting their visitors, offering a warm and friendly atmosphere. “You can come alone or with friends, and feel at home, day and night.” available day and night, with toppings from pulled pork and onions (the ‘Doggity’), to sauerkraut, gherkins and mustard (the ‘Katz’). All our hotdogs can be meat, veggie or vegan, as well.”

Laura describes the idea behind their funky establishment. “It was a combined idea of Sarah’s desire to start up a food business, selling fancy hotdogs and lovely coffee, and mine of having an events space, presenting art and entertainment of all genres and forms. Above all, we wanted to make sure that people could have a good drink! When we saw this property was available, we knew we could make both ideas work together.”

A Junkyard Dog customer can expect “a warm and friendly welcome, day and night, in our bright and colourful bar. Interesting artwork on the café walls to enjoy, good tunes playing, great food and drinks, and some top-notch live entertainment.”

Laura explains their business background: “I had worked in theatres for years, as front of house, in catering and programming. Sarah is a wonderful chef who has worked in lots of interesting foodie establishments. We had both run bars and events at festivals too, so there was a bit of ‘all sorts’ between us.”

“During day times we are busy cooking up our excellent breakfasts, hotdogs and coffee. Friday and Saturday evenings are buzzing, full of live music, comedy shows, private parties and beer!” What are your top three Junkyard Dogs moments? “Getting the doors open in the first place, and seeing people start to arrive, after months of

Sarah describes the delights she cooks up in the kitchen: “We do a great all day cooked breakfast (meat, veggie and vegan) for only £6, with a cuppa. Our range of hotdogs is

hard work. Our bonkers first birthday party; celebrating getting into our second year was both a relief and a really exciting moment, knowing we had created something that works and that people love. And, of course, winning the Brighton Fringe 2017 Best Venue Award.” “2017 was our first year as a Fringe venue and after programming, and seeing, 50 amazing shows took place in the theatre space over the month, and we were truly delighted to win. The fact that so many audience members and performers voted for us was an amazing feeling.”

amazing performances taking place, with comedy, spoken word, storytelling, theatre, and a lot more comedy! We’ll be open seven days a week, day and night as well, so come for a drink and see what we’ve got on, at any time.” Laura and Sarah also host wonderful art exhibitions, which change every four to six weeks. They are part of the Artist Open Houses trail. “We’ve got a cat-themed Open House this year, with ten different artists exhibiting their brilliant work. We launched this along with our Fringe programme on Friday 27 April and had lots of great people come along!”

Laura enthuses about Junkyard Dogs’ regular events: “The ‘Comedy Rocket’ on the final Saturday of every month is hosted by Ali Macfarlan and is always an absolute blast! We also do an All Female Comedy Open Mic every other month, and our Cards Against Humanity nights are riotous!”

Future plans include growing and developing the programme of live entertainment, with more weekend takeovers. “It’s really exciting to look towards our third birthday in August. We are also planning some great stuff for the summer, Brighton Pride and beyond!”

“Any acts interested in performing should email info@junkyard-dogs.co.uk with a bit about yourself, what you do, the kind of night you might want to put on or be involved in. We love hearing from anyone with an idea for a show or event!”

Junkyard Dogs, 142 Edward Street, BN2 0JG Open: 9am–5pm Mon-Thurs, late Fri & Sat.

The Junkyard Dogs Brighton Fringe 2018 programme has “One hundred absolutely

junkyard-dogs.co.uk

trans pride brighton by freya hughes

Photo by Sharon Kilgallon - @alonglines

L-R: Ashleigh - Park Infrastructure, Grace - Community Outreach & Events Lead, Dani - Project Coordinator, Angela - Stage Lead & Trustee, Sarah Savage - Trustee, Natalie - Project Lead & Trustee, Sukey - Treasurer, Michelle - Volunteer Lead, Kai - Accessibility & Trustee

A space was needed which was safe and actively empowered people normally overlooked, to raise everybody up, and to be visible to people who may not be out as trans yet. Natalie, project lead and trustee, tells us, “Trans Pride has played a huge part in helping me feel able to own and be proud of my identity. I attended my first one before coming out, and the feeling of power and belonging I got from being among a sea of humanity who felt like me was something I’ll always treasure.” If you’ve ever been marginalised in society, you’ll understand what Natalie means. This type of inclusion is rare, but when it is achieved it’s the kind of feeling that will stay with people. She continues, “The sort of visibility we get from events like this cannot be underestimated, and gives us a real platform from which to try to effect social change.” It’s common for transgender and non-binary individuals to feel isolated, especially with so little representation in the media. Trans Pride Brighton exists to show that this group in society are not alone - there is a supportive community out there.

Trans Pride Brighton turns six this year. Since its inception, almost 30 trans, non-binary people and cis allies have helped create the event and shape it to what is now - a week-long celebration of gender diversity. The committee put representation on the top of their priorities list. Some other events across Brighton & Hove give people across the gender spectrum a platform but it’s only Trans Pride that focuses on boosting the representation of trans and non-binary people.

Sarah has been on the committee since the event started. She tells us, “I’ve helped out with most jobs but the protest march is my pride and joy. Six years ago the police wouldn’t let us off the pavements and now thousands of people stop traffic and take over the busiest roads in Brighton for more than an hour. You can’t miss us now! It makes me so proud to have been part of a project that has empowered so many people, it’s become my raison d’être.”

This year sees the return of the protest march and event in Brunswick Square Gardens, with the main dates being Fri 20 - Sun 22 July. Other events on the run up to the main weekend include the much-loved film night, and there’s likely to be a choice of a couple of things to do on the Saturday night. The trans and non-binary community is diverse and has different needs, so a range of events will cater for everyone. Plans include club nights, gigs, open mic opportunities, art exhibitions - all to be confirmed. You can check in on the progress of the events on the Trans Pride Brighton website.

It’s not easy to put on a week-long celebration of diversity. The organisers, though, say it’s completely worth it.

Mainstream Brighton Pride doesn’t represent the trans community in a way that really helps bring trans issues to light.

Every year the event grows. The committee are passionate about maintaining the core principle: that they’re doing things by trans

people, for trans people. Pride can be a celebration but we must always be conscious that it is a protest. This community is so often misrepresented and marginalised so Trans Pride aims for trans people to feel proud and to show solidarity. Grace, Community Outreach & Events Lead, says, “I’ve only been part of the Trans Pride Brighton committee for six months, but already I feel so empowered being granted the opportunity to be a part of this huge community-inspired activist movement. Oddly enough, at first I hadn’t considered what we were doing as activism. But when our core mission is increasing the Trans’ communities visibility and representation, it’s exactly that.” The team are currently looking for volunteers to help run this year’s event. Roles include stewarding, set up, selling merchandise and more. Volunteer lead Michelle says it’s a rewarding task. “This year I switched to being the Volunteer Coordinator. I’ve found the whole experience exciting and empowering. For trans people, a pride that deals with their own particular needs, and raises awareness of intersectional issues, is absolutely vital and I’m so happy to be part of organising it.” There are also occasional committee roles available. Keep an eye on their website and social media for opportunities. The team are particularly keen to hear from trans people of colour, to better represent the community. transpridebrighton.org/volunteer Trans Pride Brighton returns for its sixth year Fri 20 - Sun 22 July. The main event is at Brunswick Square Gardens.

- what’s on -

- what’s on Queerdom Saturday 30th June, 7.30pm Caroline of Brunswick The third instalment of Queerdom, Brighton’s freshest queer performance night. This month we have a fabulous mix of drag, burlesque, comedy and music. Hosted by Sammy Silver. With performances from: Chuck SJ Hay; a Queer DIY Folk Punk musician hailing from Brighton Jada Love; this neo-burlesque performer mixes the sexy, the dark and the mysterious. Mimi Kraft; chunky yet funky, the damn right unapologetic fierce drag artist from Brighton. Dick Day; a kooky, quirky, exhaustingly energetic performer. Photo by emma bailey

Queer Bash

drag you under the bus cabaret

Every 4th Saturday, 11pm - 3am Envy

29th June, 8pm Komedia

Come and party with some of your most mischievous Brighton queens and kings! All Inclusive, All Accepting. All Love.

All aboard for the weird and wonderful show where anything goes!

A bunch of Brighton’s finest misfits have come together to create the drag birthday party you never asked for... Catch Hans Euff, Fuchsia Von Steel, Alpha Bites, Dick Day, Anchovy and Daphne The 10 Year Old at this brand new night - half drag show, half club night. So get your glad rags, glitter & sequins on and strut your stuff down to Envy @ Charles Street. Tell all your friends, tell their aunt Julie and get everyone involved with this all-inclusive, all accepting and all loving new Brighton event! Advance tickets £4 or £5 on the door.

Drag You Under The Bus Cabaret is Brighton’s newest alternative cabaret show. Bringing drag, burlesque and performance art all together under one roof. An unusual take on the traditional cabaret format; expect the unexpected. Hosted by Hans Euff. This month they have LUCY McCORMICK, COCO DEVILLE, LICK VON DYKE, GLEW and MIMI KRAFT Tickets - £10 Advance (£15 on the door) Doors- 19:00 / Show Starts- 19:30

Advance tickets £6 or £8 on the door.

- what’s on -

A New Look for Brighton and Hove LGBT Switchboard

Gal Pals: Trans Pride

Queer Prom: Rainbow Ball

Fri 20 July Komedia

Fri 3 Aug Patterns

On the eve of Brighton’s annual Trans Pride Gal Pals will be celebrating by doing what we do best and throwing a big ol’ queer dance party, with a portion of the profits going to Trans Pride so they can continue their excellent work supporting our trans communities. So say bi bi bi to your queer blues, throw some glitter on and come dancing!

After the sell-out winter event in January, Queer Prom is back! The perfect warm up to Brighton Pride Weekend. Bringing to life all the colours of the rainbow, there will be queer cabaret and drag performances, two floors of DJs, two photobooths and plenty of surprises to fulfil all your teenage dreams.

Gal Pals is a queer club night for women, non-binary folks and their friends, playing the best in female-fronted pop, rock, hip-hop, R&B and bangers! All babes, all night, bring your gal pals! People of all genders welcome. £3/£5. Tickets available in advance and on the door.

Just like last time, the event raises funds for LGBTQ+ charities/organisations as chosen by attendees, and the team are putting a lot of focus to ensure Queer Prom is a safe space. There’s absolutely no toleration for sexism, racism, homophobia, biphobia, queerphobia, transphobia, ableism or any other kind of bigotry. So, grab your dates and your crowns because at Queer Prom - you’re all royalty!

Brighton and Hove LGBT Switchboard launched their new brand and logo this month, aiming to give clarity to how they support local LGBTQ people. The charity has been a prominent force in the Brighton & Hove LGBT community, but some people aren’t aware of the scope of their services.

Having listened to feedback from all walks of our community, the new logo and brand aim to highlight all Switchboard projects under the new tagline ‘connecting you to LGBTQ support’. Daniel continues, “We want to tell people that Switchboard is a charity for LGBTQ people looking for a sense of community, support or information. We support them directly through specially developed services, or link them to other organisations.”

Speaking to CEO, Daniel Cheesman, he told us, “Last summer we engaged with the local LGBTQ communities through the ‘Your Switchboard needs you campaign’. It was clear that whilst people were aware of the long, 43-year history of Switchboard, there was sense of not being sure of what we offer, other than the helpline.”

Friday 3rd August Marlborough Pub & Theatre

Switchboard is rolling out their new logo and brand over the coming weeks in the lead up to the summer and the various outreach events including Brighton Pride and Trans Pride. Daniel added, “we have worked with a volunteer on devising the new brand and logo. We didn’t want to spend money on paying someone to do this at a time when charity funds are increasingly needed to finance our front line services.”

FAT Cabaret is back at The Marlborough for a super exciting Pride Double Show! There will be cake. Packing in more fatness than ever before, join us early or late for a show you won’t forget. Full line-up TBA - but you can expect to see ‘Fatbassadors’ Smashlyn Monroe and Chub Rub.

The team wondered if they should change the name of the charity too, because of its etymological link to the helpline. There’s such a lot of projects that Switchboard manage and curate. “We are very proud of the 43 years of service that the charity has provided to the community and the trust that comes along with

FAT PRIDE - Double show

this legacy. As such, we felt it was important to keep our name. Instead we are confident that our website, communications and logo will help us tell our story and communicate our offer in a more coherent and relevant way.”

Daniel continued, “connecting people to LGBTQ support is what we do, whether this is through our general or Trans Survivors helpline or one of our LGBTQ-specific projects including the Health and Inclusion Project, Older LGBTQ Project, LGBTQ Disability Project and the Rainbow Cafe for those living with dementia. We are clearer about communicating what we do and how it supports and aligns with other organisations in the city.” switchboard.org.uk

romone clarke by rosie blackwell-sutton Romone, who is also known as drag artist Baby and musician Reaux has recently taken the reigns of Brighton’s drag competition – Lip Sync For Your Life. We caught up with them to talk about their journey from competition entrant to host. “I started doing drag by entering Lip Sync For Your Life (LSFYL). I had just finished my music degree and naturally I was broke, but I saw that there was a cash prize so I entered and won! Back then I didn’t want to call myself a drag queen, I just saw myself as a dancer. But since then I’ve started getting booked more, I made more drag friends that gave me tips and really encouraged me to push for a more theatrical and traditionally female aesthetic. In the past year I’ve gone from wearing no make-up in a crop top, boxers and some Dr Martens to a full face, skirts and heels.” Lip Sync For Your Life has obviously been a great stepping stone for Baby, as well as many other kings and queens on the scene at the moment such as Tayris Mongardi (winner of season two) and Daphne 10 Year Old (winner of season seven) “It’s so important because it’s an open space for anyone interested in performing to give it a try in a judgement-free environment. Without LSFYL I wouldn’t have taken that first step into a world that now pays my bills. Every season you see the community grow and it’s such a beautiful thing. Before drag became more mainstream, there would have never been a space that was built for LGBTQI performers in Brighton. We couldn’t talk about LSFYL without bringing up RuPaul, whose award-winning show Drag

version of themselves. I’ve learnt so much; I didn’t even block my brows or wear wigs in the first week!

Race gave the Brighton competition Lip Sync For Your Life it’s name. I wanted to ask Romone what they thought of the iconic Queen. “As a gay man of colour in the drag community, I have nothing but respect for RuPaul. The way Drag Race has become a part of our cultural consciousness has made my day-to-day life so much easier. As people are finally getting more refined representations of the LGBTI community, I feel like I don’t have to deal with as much micro-aggressions from people who literally never met a gay black dude in their life.” RuPaul is looking for charisma, uniqueness, nerve and talent from her queens and I was

wondering what Romone would say to anyone thinking about entering the competition? “I’d say go for it! I know sometimes the thought of performing to a room of people can be intimidating but it’s such a positive environment and a great place to start your drag journey or just do it for fun!” It’s been quite the rise for Romone who has been busy recently been taking part in London’s Not Another Drag Competition at Her Upstairs. “The experience has been insane. I didn’t realise how little I knew about the artistry that goes in to drag before NADC. Even though it’s a competition, everyone’s encouraging each other to be the very best

So where does Romone go from here? “In the next few years I see myself doing little bits of everything; obviously I love performing but I’d like to be able to use my drag as a perspective that can influence my music, creative direction and loads of other things that I might not be in a position to pursue otherwise.” Hinted at here, it’s not just drag that you’ll see Romone doing in the future, “I’m so excited about my music right now! Drag has helped me unlearn so many ideologies I had regarding myself and my place in the world; now I’m giving myself permission to be completely authentic with what I’m creating and it makes me really happy. I used to worry about sounding too ‘gay’ or talking about boys and my own reality; now I’ve removed all of these barriers and I’m recording really sold material that everyone can hear when the project is ready.” facebook.com/reauxmusic facebook.com/LipSyncForYourLifeBrighton

butch please by annabel pribelszki “Butch, Please! is a club night and celebration of butch, through music, art and performance. I started it because I felt that there weren’t any nights in London where I felt at home. I love that other butches, and lesbians of all ages, have also found a home at Butch, Please!”

Tabs describes a typical night at Butch Please: “We start by projecting a classic lesbian film onto the big screen (with no sound) to get the vibes going. We have what I call the ‘skillshare’ section from 9.30pm, and that’s really a way of getting the audience engaged. So we’ve had all sorts of things: the KD Lang lip sync competition, a self-defence class, a safe sex talk, talks from Dykes on Bikes UK, and most recently Marai Larasi on the #TimesUp and #MeToo campaigns.

Butch, Please!, started by Tabs Lucy, runs every other month at the Vauxhall Tavern, with pop-ups and specials at The Glory and other London venues, from 8pm - 2am. It celebrated its second birthday, in January 2018. “We attract a really diverse group of dykes, trans and non-binary people, which is in part because I’ve pushed hard to book a diverse selection of acts and DJs. We also have a really broad age range of people come too, which again is something I’ve actively tried to foster. For me, intergenerational connection is a really important part of being butch. “ Having no background in running club nights has not been an issue for Tabs, who’s done their fair share of going out. “I definitely feel like I have a clear idea of what works and what doesn’t. I hope people attending feel welcomed, attractive and free to be themselves.”

We then usually have a music act - I love booking all-girl bands - and a performance. The last few hours are DJs and dancing.” It was a tough challenge for Tabs to come up with their top three Butch, Please! Moments. She says: 1) Riding a Harley Davidson into the Vauxhall Tavern for Butch, Please! Dykes on Bikes. 2) When kd lang tweeted me, after seeing the kd lang lip sync video on Twitter. 3) The first ever BP - when I knew that I would never feel so alone in the world

Future plans include more club nights and a new merch range coming out in the summer. Tabs is also a talented singer/songwriter who recently wrote the soundtrack for a short film, Something Said (Dir. Jay Bernard), which premiered at BFI Flare 2018 and will be shown at various festivals across Europe later this year. Tabs has also written and produced a new EP, which will be out in the summer. www.butchplease.co.uk If you’d like to apply to perform at BP, get in touch with Tabs on the Facebook page @butchpleaselondon. Photo by emma bailey

fat cabaret by mathilda gregory finally seeing it, and seeing a whole bill of it, is incredibly moving and uplifting. As the host of Fat Cabaret, I quite often find myself sitting in the audience enjoying the show so much I forget I am meant to be the compere and need to get back up on stage or the show won’t continue. Some of my personal highlights have included a wonderful debut performance from Chubb Rub as one of our open spots, Smashlyn Monroe as magic dyke giving me a surprise lap dance, and often having to fill in time while acts get ready or while cream/cake/hot dogs/ broken glass is cleared off the stage. I always inevitably end up shouting about fat rage. Our audiences are just incredible. Both of our shows have sold out and we’ve often felt like we’re going for the record for the most fat people crammed into one small theatre. The response we’ve had to Fat Cabaret has shown us that there is clearly a huge and greedy appetite for a show like this, and we have big ambitions to take it further afield.

Fat Cabaret is a fat-positive performance night which features fat burlesque, fat singers, fat drag artists, fat spoken word performers and fat comedians. The night is jointly run by me, as the host of the show, and Rosie Blackwell-Sutton (Kingdom, Queerdom), the show’s producer. Together we curate the show, picking out favourite fat performers and the two shows we’ve created so far have had an astonishing range of talent.

And, of course, we have a secret wish list of dream fat performers we are hoping to bring to our stage in the near future... cough, Sophie Hagen, cough. facebook.com/fatcabaret @fatcabaret

Being fat on stage is a radical act. Fat people are taught that people would rather not look at them and their bodies. Fat people are starved of representation on stage and

Photos by Helen Copping

queer prom - rainbow ball

Didn’t go to your Prom? Or didn’t go as your true self? Do it again. Do it right. Do it Queer AF. After the sell-out event in January, the team behind Queer Prom, Vicki Cook and Jules Haydon Guaitamacchi, are back. The event was a night that will stay with attendees forever. It was a perfect combination of music and performance and was celebrated by global press. It shows the need for events like this, and we were delighted to be part of it.

Ambassadors for the event include Genderquake cast Cambell Kenneford, Howie Howells, Brooke More and Charlie Hill. Cambell tells us:

“To us Queer Prom isn’t just an LGBTQIA event, it is also a way for us to do what we can to provide love, equality and support for our community. We recognise that the last year has been particularly difficult for trans people, especially in the face of the media and what’s important to us is that we work towards making a change for our children’s future which is why have decided to raise money for an incredible charity like Mermaids.”

This August, Queer Prom present the Rainbow Ball. Coming to Patterns on Fri 3 Aug, it’s the perfect warm up to Brighton Pride Weekend. Bringing to life all the colours in the rainbow, Ali Hannon returns as host, this year joined by Felix Le Freak. You’ll remember her from an exquisite performance and Lip Sync For Your Life battle onstage in January. A bigger venue lends itself to two floors of DJs with sets from Alfie Ordinary, Rebel Girl, Alex Spinks, Foreign Skin and Rob from Finance. There will also be two photobooths and plenty of surprises from performers Baby, Romeo De La Cruz, Lydia L’scabies, Benjamin Butch, Leila Davis, Sigi Moonlight and Grim..

by the queer community for the queer community. Our hope is to keep Queer Prom alive as not only a means to experience something so many of our members felt unable to be part of, but equally to raise awareness and funds for local LGBTQ organisations voted in for by our attendees. Not many people within the LGBTQ community have had a positive prom story. Either they didn’t go to prom, or couldn’t have the experience that they wanted to because of their gender, sexuality, social pressures etc. With Queer Prom, we want to change this narrative and give people a second chance to relive the moments they feel they have missed out on.”

Instead of a Prom King and Queen, the team crown two community heroes. These people will have gone above and beyond in contributing to the wellbeing of our community. The charity focus on Mermaids is important to both organisers, as trans individuals’ experiences are close to both their hearts. The team are putting a lot of focus to ensure Queer Prom is a safe space. There’s absolutely no toleration for sexism, racism, homophobia, biphobia, queerphobia, transphobia, ableism or any other kind of bigotry.

Queer Prom Rainbow Ball, Patterns, Fri 3 Aug @queerprom / @queerpromuk Queer Prom is proud to support Mermaids mermaidsuk.org.uk

“Queer Prom is a not-for-profit night created

The need for LGBTQIA+ Education Part 1 - ‘Somebody else for everybody else’

by jules guaitamacchi

story to people of different ages, year groups, teachers and parents. I found that reciting my story over and over again was not only therapeutic for me but I noticed young people engage with my story. Kids love a story about teenage rebellion but I didn’t glamorise those experiences. Instead, I told a different story. I spoke about a reality of my internal pain and how that lead me into addiction as a way to escape from these painful experiences. I found that when I could be myself with the audience, barriers were beginning to break down; vulnerability became my biggest strength.

“I’ll apologise in advance this is a rowdy lot”, a teacher said, and within the first five minutes of my talk, I’d experience a complete silence where all I could hear was my own voice. As I progressed almost simultaneously so did the schools’ requests for alternative topics such LGBT presentations. In 2015, I was invited to talk at a school because a pupil in an all-girls school had come out as transgender. The school requested I teach whatever I deemed appropriate, clearly uneducated around the subject and requested my life experience. I began to research extensively. I possessed a minimal amount of knowledge on gender diversity but a lot of it resonated with me. I discovered gender-neutral definitions and transgender identities. Each class was introduced by their head of year who instructed students to refer to this pupil by their new name and pronoun. I then felt able to be honest with my students in my presentation with regards to my recent discovery of my gender identity. At the end of my talk, a group of young people approached me and thanked me for teaching at their school about something I was experiencing myself. I began to realise that this was the beginning of my own my journey and contrary to everything I ever thought I knew about myself. I’d lived my life as a lesbian since I was 18 and dealt with all the stigma and discrimination that went alongside my sexuality and being perceived as a woman.

I have been a professional speaker for over five years and it is something I have perfected

It took me some time to start my transition. As far as I was aware I had have never met a

Photo by vicki cook

Sometimes school teaches you lessons, other times life does. When you have overcome extreme hurdles in life it’ll often give you insight that has the ability to influence the lives of others. Having battled substance misuse and addiction from an early age and receiving a vast amount of treatment and support over the years, I have been able to push my head above the deep waters of my turbulent past. Paradoxically my rock bottom gave me the drive and desperation to fight for happiness and liberation. For me, an essential part of recovering has been to give back to others. In my early 20s, I started volunteering in schools telling my life

as time has gone on. In doing my own research, I have created a number of presentations on social and mental health issues. I have always maintained that there is no point in being a straight-A student and becoming hugely successful in life but suffering for the majority of it. Just as we keep our bodies healthy, we should do the same with our minds.

trans person outside of that school and had absolutely no point of reference. It wasn’t until I started regularly visiting Brighton and was introduced to a community outside of the lesbian and gay culture I’d always known that I knew I was non-binary but I didn’t know what that looked like. I was still being referred to with female pronouns and I didn’t understand that that needed to change. As the months went by my discomfort became more apparent to me; I became surrounded by people I related to and I began to learn more about myself. I had been somebody else for everybody else for my entire life. Who was I outside of that? I started to transition socially but the anxiety worsened. To quote Beck Gee-Cohen, it felt like a thousand individual paper cuts. The more I knew about myself the harder it became to step out into the world and be seen as my former self. I started self-medicating with testosterone on the 26th November 2017 and yet I was frequently referred to as ‘miss’, ‘madam’ or ‘lady’. When the Stonewall Statistics were released last year and I learned that 49% of young trans people under the age of 26 had attempted suicide, that 64% of trans pupils are bullied in our schools, that 50% of LGBT pupils hear homophobic slurs ‘frequently’ and ‘often’, I felt so much frustration and upset. Here was a new world that I now belong to and a new battle to fight. I started to question how many mental health issues there were within LGBTQIA community and how many of them stemmed from socialised issues such as rejection by their own families, the abuse they face on a daily basis, and discrimination even by our mainstream media. That is when I realised that so much needed to be done to fight for, and support our trans youth. Part two available on: stemmemagazine.com julesguaitamacchi.com

What Was All The Fuss About? by liz ridgway Give or take a brief space-time continuum shift, it’s six years since I stepped out to fully embrace my authentic self. Add the previous fours years of mental health assessments and counselling and one might begin to picture of how long my transition has taken. With a lack of resources available and a personal decision to medically transition it all felt like a monumental mountain to climb as I walked out the front door on that autumn morning in late October 2012. So much to consider, getting things right according to my own wishes. Do I look ok? Can I keep it together? Not forgetting the burden of an extensive list of ‘must do’s’ to change all my personal details.

relationships, society has consistently maintained there’s something wrong with me for not conforming. “ Oh, you’re such a girl.” Looking back at what I’ve experienced, I now know that I’ve never been “trapped”, it’s society that’s trapped and in desperate need of fixing. Transition was a marathon inter-dispersed with the passing of milestones, pausing briefly to celebrate, then quickly moving onto the next, always negotiating anxiety and depression with a distant view of the bigger picture. I’m speaking of moments like the simple yet confronting act of walking out the front door as a rudimentary presentation of my future self, sending scores of ‘coming out’ letters to friends and family, starting hormone therapy, gaining new employment without the historical association with my previous identity, negotiating gendered spaces like bathrooms and fitting rooms, finding co-operative medical supervision, finding appropriate housing after a long period of homelessness, being correctly gendered in public, travelling through passport control points without issue, the joy of people using my chosen name, the joy of people not making a fuss when they realise they’ve mis-gendered me, receiving documents that correctly represent my identity, going weeks without being harassed, fulfilling all the requirements of the ghastly ‘RLE’ (Real Life Experience) NHS criteria and finally receiving approval for confirmation surgery. Yes, transition was one hell of a rollercoaster ride.

I chose to transition so I could survive and hopefully thrive. I’d lived with gender dysphoria all my life and went literally to the end of the earth and back to eliminate every last possibility that my gender incongruence was something else. It wasn’t a fetish or a conflation of sexuality and gender, I’d always been trans and I had to be fearless and acknowledge it. Fearless because I knew that I was confronting the societal expectation that wanting to present and live as a woman was not something worthwhile, not something to aspire to, like “just be a man, grow a pair or man up! Abandon your male privilege for womanhood? You’re deluded, crazy!” Without a doubt the mental health disorders and trauma I faced derived from society’s oppression of women and a rebuttal of my consistent gender non-conformity from the sex I was assigned at birth. From sustained periods of shaming, vilification and harassment through school, in the workplace, publically and within

Surgery was an option available to me that I chose to take, had I chosen otherwise there’d

be no difference to my identity or living positively. The truth was my genitals were junk. Surgery had always remained a ‘no brainer’ since I learnt it was a possibility, but never fully understanding why I’d be exposed without choice to so much public hyperbole and medical scrutiny considering the relative straight forwardness of the surgery. Slowly lifting my eyelids after surgery and floating in a wonderful morphine induced awakening did signify the beginning of the end to my transition. Of course more challenges would be presented, however none would be quite so insurmountable. Finally, I was in a position to get back to living, no longer treading water, this time authentically, further defining an incredibly experienced and varied life, embracing the person I always knew to be, dousing the pain of past trauma by restarting therapy and dusting off those projects I’d put on hold. To me this was the embodiment of death and transfiguration, sent to nirvana, finally beginning to blissfully exist in consonance. The absolute and unflinching reality of my journey is I adjusted my body to better represent my knowledge and wisdom. Yes it was a marathon with so many personal limiting self-beliefs to confront and challenge, but bizarrely after all that has passed, I find myself repeatedly asking “what was all that fuss about?” Photo by noe warren

DRAGONY UNClE nailor swift Nailor Swift is the host of Kingdom and now Stemme’s very own Dragony Uncle. He sits down to tackle your questions, dishing out advice on everything from love, dating and sex to addiction and depression.

If you need some advice, Nailor is here to help. Submit your questions to stemmemagazine@gmail.com. I am feeling uncertain about my gender and don’t know how to go about exploring these feelings.

As I’m writing in a Brighton-based magazine I’d recommend a foray into some of the shows and theatre pieces that also explore the questions you may be experiencing. Not only will they hopefully offer you a sense of inclusion, but also an opportunity to meet like-minded individuals.

I say this in most of my responses, but it’s just as true here: You are not alone. Questioning things about yourself can be scary because gender can be a big part of our identity. But try to hold onto the fact that society has created gender and you are totally allowed to step out of the constraints that puts on you.

And one very important thing to hold in mind, whilst exploring this part of yourself, try to keep involved in your passions, your interests, and hobbies. Stay creative, keep playing your musical instruments, read the books that speak to you and eat the food that makes you happy.

One thing you could explore is pronouns. Not just ‘He’ and ‘She’ but also the non-binary pronouns such as ‘They’ and ‘Ze’. Talk to those close to you and ask them to use pronouns that feel more fitting for you. This gives you the chance to experience how the these feel to you and may help you make some decisions about how you’d like to be addressed.

Below are some links to articles and organisations that can offer more in-depth information and support. switchboard.org.uk allsortsyouth.org.uk

Cultivate connections with people who are also facing similar questions and experiences, as they can help you have a safe and supportive space to explore.

Our Trans Survivors Trans helpline provides support Survivors and information to trans and/or non-binary people, or those who are questioning. Operated by trans and/or non-binary volunteers, you can talk to us confidentially and anonymously. We offer non-judgemental emotional support on a range of topics, specialising in providing support to those who have experienced crime, including sexual violence, at any point in their life.

Call us on 01273 204050 (Sun 3-5pm) or visit www.switchboard.org.uk for chat support

info@switchboard.org.uk

facebook.com/ transsurvivorsswitchboard

twitter.com/ transsurvivors