Random: So Far, So Good

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INTERNATIONAL YEAR OF PEACE AND TRUST

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E-CHOKE

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backyard updates

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ASPIRE TO PERSPIRE

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INTERNATIONAL YEAR OF PEACE AND TRUST

After 82 days and nights of using *822# (*winks*), January has finally come to an end; Hallelujah. It seems like it was only yesterday that you were reading Serious, and we were wishing you a happy new year.

Yet, with only one month gone, there is still so much to say about the year.

The World Bank's global outlook is mostly positive, especially as the world is getting used to COVID-19 and some form of normalcy is gradually returning. We are grateful for the little things too sha; oil prices are above $50 per barrel, meaning there's more money available for the government, ASUU finally ended their strike and perhaps the biggest news of the year, there are strawberries in Plateau!

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backyard updates

Baba recently passed the budget, which shows a clear intention to kickstart the economy in 2021, so fingers crossed. We hear that those of you with dormant accounts and unclaimed dividends might be bankrolling the government soon. Our pension funds are already used by the government, so dormant accounts and unclaimed dividends might follow, be prepared. Security continues to be a big concern, but with the appointment of new service chiefs, let's pray that we become safer. Even the internet is not safe, gbas-gbos everywhere, billionaire bumbum exposure ear and dear.

The African Continental Free Trade Agreement (AFCTA), the largest trading bloc in the world is finally happening after months of intense debates. We're excited about the possibilities and are eager to see how trade will evolve on the continent.

Hopefully, the AFCTA will lead to better travel access across Africa, so we might be able to go to Timbuktu soon without a visa. Inflation still remains high (15.75%) and food prices continue to surge despite the border openings—everything don cost. As global economies improve, we hear that more investments will come to Nigeria, especially around health and technology. This is incredibly encouraging with respect to foreign revenue, which dropped by over 70% in 2020. Foreign exchange pressure remains as the dollar seems to be pulling away; please don't ask about pounds; that's between the CBN and the Queen.

Please, we are begging you, wear your mask! Confirmed COVID-19 cases in Nigeria have crossed 120,000. While other countries have received vaccines, you know your own vaccine is anointing oil and inshallah, so be safe. We heard that the FG is making plans to buy vaccines, but it will take two years to be delivered to 70% of Nigerians, don't worry, las las gbogbo wa la ma je breakfast. We heard that electricity tariffs have gone up again oh, blood of Zechariah! Wahala for who no use Altpower.

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E-CHOKE Electoral fraud and violence have always been considered a third world phenomenon, that is, until 2021.

However, the global beacon of democrazy almost choked with claims of election fraud. The Capitol hill violence that followed ultimately led to the second impeachment in two years for now former President Trump. Guess who was also removed from Twitter and other social media sites to protect the US—The J himself.

Another election marred by violence and claims of election rigging was the fight for Kampala but unfortunately there was no wine. These elections have shown us that we need to protect our democracy even more cautiously. Our heart goes out to Robert Kyagulanyi Ssentamu. We hope that by the time you are reading this, the internet is back on in Uganda.

The Obamas brought the roof down at the inauguration ceremony but only one person stole our hearts (….Bernie!!!!!). Despite being in office for less than a month, Uncle Biden has instructed that we can now bring our load to the obodo after overturning the travel ban; all that is remaining is money for the visa and ticket. We hear that over 80 million people have been vaccinated across the world and this figure is expected to hit half a billion by the end of the year.

The Post-Brexit era is also fully here, and we await the changes it will bring; remember the UK is one of our biggest trading partners, home to one of the largest diaspora communities (Peckham is legit a Nigerian district), and well the best league in the world (Up Gunners )

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ASPIRE TO PERSPIRE

Whether you go to church or mosque, when it comes to money, it's Elon Musk. We have seen tech stock rising, awon team gamestop (Egbon Bezos with some cool Benjamins), so we are praying for some of that tech money to come here so yahoo billionaires can reduce.

This year is about making money; you need to invest, so that when people ask why you are balling, you can be like Bob and say it's the grace of God. Cryptocurrency is looking sweet, but you have to be cautious and learn about it—small money, save am.

In other news, IELTS is cashing out as we heard that subscriptions increased by over 40% in the last three months; you people are taking this japa thing seriously. We are also enjoying Clubhouse (sorry android guys).

Look for us—TrybeOne—let's talk about how the year has been for you and what you are grateful for. For the stubborn people among us that have decided to defy Dr. Isa Pantami, please register your NIN with your mobile network. We want to be able to communicate with you because clearly, pigeons don't fly anymore.

THE END

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