Asian Beacon Vol. 44 No. 4

Y o u r

C o n t e m p o r a r y

C h r i s t i a n

M a g a z i n e

MALAYSIA RM5 SINGAPORE $3 (RM7.50) ASIA RM10 OTHERS RM15 PP2007/10/2012(031036) MICA (P) 195/11/2011 Established 1969

Asian Beacon

Asian Beacon August-September 2012 Vo l 4 4 N o. 4

Crunch the forbidden fruit Run before you fall My gay Christian friend Embracing the sleaze, not the sinner

Finding real love Girl in love with girl Singles, sex and the city The Purity Pledge: Does it Work?

Reclaiming our authentic sexuality Weird love 10 marriage myths s i a Rescued by an aangel

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Miracles at Sunbeam Dangers in the new world Power to change the world Cows, books and others e a pastors c o n

forb needy

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Asian Beacon

Editorial

contents

Editorial Board Ms Jhong (Editor) Ms Christine Cranney nee Liew Meiyin (Sub-editor) Dr Lim Poh Ann Ms Goldie Chong

Legal Advisor Mr Steven Fung Sales & Marketing Manager Mr Steven Teo Administrative Manager Ms Chanice Chong E x ecu t i v e Commi ttee Chairman Mr Goh Khoon Seng Secretary Dr Elok Robert Tee Treasurer Ms Loke Che Ching Committee Member Mr William Tan Mr Vincent Cheng Web Committee Mr Vincent Cheng Mr Steven Teo Ms Charmain Sim Ms Elizabeth Tai Publisher Persaudaraan Asian Beacon Malaysia P O Box 240, Jalan Kelang Lama, 58700 Kuala Lumpur An inter-denominational Christian magazine, Asian Beacon is published six times a year by Persaudaraan Asian Beacon, a non-profit Christian society. http://www.facebook.com/AsianBeacon S A L E S & M A RK E T ING OF F ICE Persaudaraan Asian Beacon Malaysia 19-C, Jalan SS 22/19, Damansara Jaya, 47400 Petaling Jaya, Selangor, Malaysia Tel: (603) 7725 4109 Fax: (603) 7726 1740 Hp: 012-3931 453 Email: aboffice@asianbeacon.org asianbeacon@yahoo.com Website: www.asianbeacon.org Sabah Representative Jessie Chong- Email: jessiecly08@gmail.com Singapore Representative Adrian Ngooi- Email: ankb74@gmail.com Perth Representative Tek and Goldie Chong - Email: tekchong@iinet.net.au Melbourne Representative Ms Lucy Yap, P.O. Box 3113, Wheelers Hill, Melbourne, Vic 31 50 Email: asianbeacon@optusnet.com.au Design & Layout Twentyfivecents Creative Solutions Email: twentyfivecents@gmail.com Facebook: Twentyfivecents Creative Solutions

W

e Asians from the Baby Boomer and

Gen-X era will most likely find it hard to talk about sex. But times have changed. Today, our young folks seem to have no problem discussing the birds and the bees in the open.

Well, this issue, we open the can to look at sex and sexuality, including homosexuality. Crunch The Forbidden Fruit observes that television, or the media in general, has changed the way our youths view sex and suggests that the church and parents engage their youths more actively on the subject or risk losing them to the influence of the TV shows.

Run Before Your Fall advises us how to overcome sexual temptations while Singles, Sex and the City notes that although sex is highly important (since we are sexual beings), it is only the penultimate to the ultimate.

Does signing a pledge to abstain from sex before marriage really work? Find out in The Purity Pledge: Does It Work?

Embracing The Sinner, Not The Sleaze and Finding Real Love interview two former homosexuals – a gay and a lesbian – who found fulfilment in Jesus, turned away from their lifestyle and have since set up ministries to reach out to homosexuals who want to leave the lifestyle.

On the other hand, Homosexuality – A Psychologist’s Prognosis cautions us to not to misrepresent God in our dealings with those struggling with homosexuality.

Elsewhere, be inspired by the story of a kidnap victim who is convinced he was Rescued by an angel. We also look across to East Malaysia to find out the excitement that’s brewing among the Sabah churches in Jubilee Joy. Blessed reading!

Jhong

Printer Thumbprints UTD SDN BHD Lot 24 Jalan RP 3, Rawang Perdana, Industrial Estate, 48000 Rawang, Selangor Tel: (603) 6092 9809 www.thumbprints.com.my

http://www.facebook.com/AsianBeacon Cover Design

MISSION • • • •

FEATURES

8 Crunch the forbidden fruit

By Ong Kay Jen 10 Run before you fall

By Dr Lim Poh Ann 12 My gay Christian friend

By chew sue lee 14 Embracing the sinner,

not the sleaze

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By Christine Cranney

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Finding real love

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Rescued by an angel

By THO WERN MING

Miracles at Sunbeam

By SY Lim

36 Cows, books and others for needy pastors

By Wong King Wai

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JUBILEE JOY

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Dangers in the new world

By Daniel Leong By elizabeth tai

44 Power to change the world

By Goldie Chong

by Chua Ee Chien

Girl in love with girl

By Christine Cranney

Singles, sex and the city By rev loh soon choy

The purity pledge: Does it work?

By Charmain Sim

Homosexuality A psychologist’s prognosis

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By Dr Hera Lukman

Reclaiming our sexual authenticity

By Evelyn Meng

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THE aSIAN BEACON YOUTH WALL 28

Contributions The opinions and views expressed by writers and advertisers are not necessarily those of the publisher. Contributors are welcomed to contact us for editorial guidelines. However, we assume no responsibility to return unsolicited materials. Kindly include your email, postal address and telephone number when you send articles, photographs or letters to us.

Permission For Reprint Copyright Reserved © 2012. Please contact the editor for permission to reprint articles, photographs and illustrations.

COVER STORIES

by

Kevin Thomas

To help readers understand contemporary issues in the light of God’s word and to apply it to life’s challenges.

To testify to God’s love and power in transforming lives, families and communities.

To contextualise biblical principles within the Asian culture.

To be an agent of change in making our world a better place.

VISION Your Beacon of Hope

R E G UL A R S

Advisors Rev. Chan Theam Lai Rev. Loh Soon Choy Mr Wong Young Soon

4 Editorial 6 News 46 Dear Chai Hok

The morality of annihilating

the Canaanites

By Low Chai Hok

August - September 2012

Vol 44 No. 4

50 Money Matters

Overwhelmed?

by Rajen Devadason 52 Dear Goldie

Anxious over family members

By Goldie Chong

News

Roc king Singles, Pr opelling young leader s t o the future

Rocking Singles Young single men and women, aged

25 to 40, from four churches in Petaling Jaya had a rocking time at the Hard Rock Café on June 17. Organised by SIB Kuala Lumpur in partnership with PJEFC, Glad Tidings and DUMC, the event treated 86 young folks – 31 men and 55 ladies – to an afternoon of great games, sumptuous food and rollicking fun.

Called “Rocking Singles”, the event

provided an avenue for Christian singles to meet one another to foster friendships “and the rest we leave to God and the leaders or pastors of the various churches when guidance is sought,” said Ps Chandran Gopalan, who headed the organising committee.

The event ran on a tight, well-crafted schedule of creative games and several courses of delectable dishes. Some participants were shy initially but the games helped to break the ice and get the conversations flowing.

At the end, participants were seen exchanging contacts, with some already arranging to meet up before the next gathering, which the organiser already has two lined up – “Biggest Loser” (a unique inter-church sports event) on Aug 12 at PJEFC; and “Some Strings Attached” at DUMC on Oct 28. A fourth gathering, a camp, is being planned.

Ps Chandran said Rocking Singles was a success, considering it was a “pilot run”, though he hoped to get a more balanced male to female ratio for the future events.

Propelling young leaders to the future

News

True Discipleship

True Discipleship B y M i c h e l l e MY C h a n

The call for restoration of the

Hebraic-Christian foundation in discipleship was the emphasis of the Asia Pacific Consultation on Discipleship (APCOD) 2012. The biennial conference, lasting three days and attended by 250 participants from 18 countries, celebrated its 10th anniversary in Kota Kinabalu, Sabah, in May by drawing attention to the urgency for authentic discipleship.

Among the topics broached were the challenges of disciple-making in today’s daunting spiritual climate. The consensus among the participating speakers, teachers, theologians and apologists was clear – discipleship is a choice.

“Having the faith that embraces discipleship is marked by choosing a life grounded in humility – characterised by submission, obedience, suffering and the joys of exaltation,” said keynote speaker Bill Hull, who described the disciple as one having the character of Christ.

Holiness in the life of Jesus, according

APCOD Founder and Chairman Dr Charles Lee addressing the crowd.

to speaker Rev. David Pileggi, was based on the requirement of Leviticus 11:44 (... be holy as I am holy...) and formed the foundations of New Testament discipleship. “However, the goal of discipleship is not holiness – it is God,” he said, stressing the importance of the relational aspect in discipleship efforts.

“People are not transformed by sermons, they are transformed by relationships.”

Speaker Socorro Varela ended the conference with a strong appeal to Christians to demonstrate agape love. “We

By Allen TL Kam

result in short-term losses but not in the long run because God is sovereign. This message was reiterated by Pastor Dr Philip Lyn throughout the recent young leaders’ conference organised by the Evangelical Free Church (EFC) Asia.

In recognising God as sovereign over all matters, young adults are to continue to persevere in the task of restoring the workplace for God and leave a legacy for the future generations, said the keynote speaker at the three-day conference held in Klang in May. A total of 124 young adults aged between 25 and 35 years came from EFC churches in five Asian countries (Malaysia, Singapore, Hong Kong, Japan and the Philippines) to “Arise – Step up to the next level”, which was the conference’s theme.

Ps Philip, the Senior Pastor of Skyline

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SIB in Sabah, quickly established a rapport with the young adults with his lively messages blended with humour, seriousness and calls for action. Even though his earthly age qualifies him to be a senior citizen (sorry, Pastor!), the only thing senior the conferees detected was his experience in life and with God. With the energy of a man half his age, he spoke non-stop for two hours at one session, and still managed to keep the crowd captivated to the end.

Ps Philip’s message of recapturing the workplace for God is a theme that has been preached many times but what is refreshing about his message is that he is a living, walking, breathing example of an exemplary bi-vocational minister (he is both a practising doctor and a full-time pastor).

As for the conferees, though they come from different cultures, they

shared a common zeal for the Lord and the need to connect with and encourage one another. The prayer meetings were a good avenue for them to share their country’s needs, but instead of praying from a prepared list of prayer items, as is the norm, the prayer needs were shared via video, songs and interesting commentaries.

Most striking was the presentation by the Japanese conferees. Our hearts ache when we heard that despite the super nation label that has been tagged on Japan, our Japanese Christian brethen are crying for more believers in their community, and the constant struggle they face in living out their Christian principles at work as the majority of the nation is steeped in their traditions.

The next such conference will be held in 2015 in Japan. Youth leaders of EFC Asia, ganbare!

JOB/MINISTRY VACANCIES

Condolences

The Oasis SIB has the following vacancies available and seeks for dedicated Christians with sound character to serve in the church: 1. Chinese Ministry Pastor 2. Accounts & Administrative Clerk (Full-time/Part-time) 3. General Worker

Asian Beacon wishes to extend

condolences to the family of the late THOMAS LEE SENG HOCK, 64, who passed away on June 3 of liver cancer. He left behind his beloved wife, Dolly, and children Isaac and Beverley.

Lee contributed much to the ministry of Asian Beacon in the 1980s as our media consultant and as a speaker and facilitator at our seminars and workshops. A veteran journalist, Lee had worked at nearly all the major English dailies, beginning with The Star in the 1970s and then The Edge, The Sun, New Straits Times, The Malay Mail and mysinchew.com. At the time of his passing, he was a media consultant to the Penang State Government.

Interested, please e-mail with resume to theoasis_sib@yahoo.com or write in to: The Pastor / Church Council The Oasis SIB No. 46-1, Jalan S2 B1, Lakeview Square, Seremban 2 70300 Negeri Sembilan, Malaysia

Asian Beacon

Obeying and doing God’s work may

can have the best teachers and preachers in our churches, we can have outstanding leaders in our organisations and teach all kinds of knowledge... but until God’s love becomes a compelling force in our lives, no one will want to go to a lost and needy world and pay the high price of becoming a true disciple of Jesus.”

Varela had earlier highlighted the malady in churches today – the idolatry of comfort and immediate gratification, coupled with the prevalent attitude of entitlement among Christians.

Please be informed that our GAPS classes are closed until further notice. Thank you. a

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co v er story

“Y

ou guys won’t

believe what happened. Last night was just legen – wait for

it…DARY!” So begins the infamous Barney Stinson’s usual mantra before he launches into a very explicit description of the previous night’s latest hook-up adventure.

Smooth-talking, lovably obnoxious, and always (always) dressed to the nines, Barney Stinson is a legend. Boys idolise him, men envy him, women want him.

Allergic to marriage, he would say disdainfully “Get married?” at his friends’ recent engagement. “Why would you want to sleep with the same person for the rest of your life?”

No, Barney is (thankfully) not someone I know personally. He is the much-loved character from Emmy-award winning sitcom How I Met Your Mother, a series about the social and romantic lives of Ted Mosby and his four best friends.

A character like Barney really isn’t that unique in television today. Many, if not all, sitcoms have a tendency to treat sex very, very lightly. Think Two and a Half Men, Nurse Jackie, The Big Bang Theory and even cartoons like Family Guy. And these are shows keenly followed by our young people.

I often wonder if so much exposure

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Crunch the forbidden fruit B y Ong K ay J en

to the topic of sex is making us numb.

We openly talk about it, make lewd jokes we laugh at. We admire characters like Barney – so funny and suave.

Over- e xposed I know 12-year-olds who openly make dirty gestures and references in their classrooms.

In my parents’ day, such behaviour would not have been tolerated.

I asked my parents where they learned about sex. Dad’s reply: “Books lor. Form 5 Biology classes, I guess.” Mum shook her head: “Not in my school. No way would convent schools allow such talk in those days.”

An older person told me about her friend from back in the 80s, who went on a date and had her first kiss. She came back asking this person, “Will I get pregnant?”

At the time, she was in college.

By contrast, in my generation, if you don’t know how babies are made by the time you hit secondary school, you’re either painfully oblivious to life’s realities, or just desperately sheltered.

Youths today are increasingly exposed to sex at a younger age, thanks to television and/or the Internet. Hook up culture, the gay best friend, cohabitation, friends with benefits – even if we may not experience these realities in our fairly conservative

Malaysian-Christian context, these are all concepts we’re very familiar with.

“It’s because of this lah our youth’s morals are flying out of the window!” I picture an uncle banging the kopitiam marble table emphatically as he loudly discusses social trends today.

Can the church clarify?

In all this conversation – and sometimes confusion – about sex, I wonder what the Church’s response to this is. In the past, sex was, in church and largely in society, a taboo topic. Questions and discussions were brushed off or hushed up.

But just because we didn’t talk about it, did it mean that we were not tempted, or lustful? Or perhaps the suppressed conversations created a “forbidden fruit” effect (i.e. the more mysterious, the more enticing)?

Let me illustrate.

When I was in primary school, my parents did not allow my brother and me to read Harry Potter. Fearing exposure to witchcraft, black magic and spells could harm our spiritual lives, they banned the books and films from our home.

Being an avid reader, I was naturally curious to see what all the fuss was about.

So I began borrowing the books from friends and reading them in my spare moments in school.

Once, I took The Prisoner of Azkaban home from school and hid it in my room.

When my parents discovered the book, they were appalled and furious. How could I do such a thing behind their backs? Following this incident, even

stricter rules were enforced.

One night, our family invited (the esteemed) Rev. Loh Soon Choy and Aunty Lydia to our house for dinner. During the course of our conversation, the topic turned to literary interests and I grudgingly mentioned the fact that I was not allowed to read books that dealt with witchcraft.

I don’t remember exactly what he said (it was nine years ago) but I know that, with the entire family around the table, he advised my parents to reconsider this.

“Expose them but guide them. You cannot keep them sheltered forever.”

After this, my parents carefully considered the matter and one day, gathered us and warned us of the dangers of dabbling in black magic, and then said we would be allowed to read Harry Potter books as long as we kept ourselves firmly grounded in God’s Word.

Excited, I bought Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix the moment it was released. As I read through the book, something struck me. You know what I actually thought? “This is kind of boring after all.”

After all the rules had been laid out and the issues carefully explained, the glitter had faded.

Now I’m not suggesting that, in relation to sex in today’s culture, nothing is inappropriate for all age groups. I’m also not suggesting that the best way to turn your kids off sex is by exposing (and traumatising) them with the details of the act.

But perhaps, as a Christian community, we need to approach the topic of sex – a topic of such great interest among our youth – the same way Rev. Loh approached Harry Potter: exposing and guiding rather than trying to shelter, all the while keeping to the biblical standard of sex only after marriage.

In so doing, we create safe spaces to ask questions and bust myths, such as “You can do it without getting hurt” or “Nothing’s wrong with a little ‘experimentation”, that are portrayed by media.

Perhaps, in doing so, our youth would not feel the need to learn about sex in dodgy places and ways – for example, pornography. Perhaps, in being more open

with each other, we might even help dispel this “forbidden fruit” effect.

No Apologies, a youth programme carried out in churches and schools by Focus On The Family, is a great example of creating these “safe spaces”. The abstinence programme deals with “the value of the individual, marriage, the family and the importance of keeping oneself pure till marriage.” I especially liked that its curriculum has a unit on Media Literacy – how the media influences our perceptions on sexuality.

But a bigger role needs to be played by those who guide us – our parents, our spiritual leaders. TV, or really the media in general, has changed the way we talk about sex in society. Will the Church follow suit or ignore these changes?

Ong Kay Jen is a 20-yearold media student who believes that a culture of fear and taboo only serves to stifle some good dialogue.

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r u n B E F O R E Y O U fall

co v er story

A

lustful gaze culminating

in stolen moments of sensual pleasure.

At a time when kings were supposed to lead armies into battle, King David was idling. A naked lady bathing at the rooftop caught his eye. And the ‘man after God’s own heart’ fell for the charms of another man’s wife.

Like tumbling dominoes, events unfolded swiftly, moving David from temptation to lust to adultery on to murder.

It is unfathomable that bathrooms then were so open. If Bathsheba had bathed in an enclosed area, would David be spared such sorrow?

For sure, we will never know. Suffice to say, this incident warns us of the deadly consequences of yielding to sexual temptation.

Whereas temptation also lurks in areas such as money, fame and power, the sexual variety is especially difficult to resist when we’re caught flat-footed at a vulnerable moment – when we’re lost, lonely, confused and out of communion with God. Or idle, as in David’s case.

No wonder Hollywood bad girl Mae West once quipped: “I generally avoid temptation unless I can’t resist it.”

Temptation is not necessarily something that swoops down on us like a hawk when we’re vulnerable. Circumstances may conspire to prompt our moral failure but often, we ourselves are partly to be blamed. The ability of temptation to exert its power over us is actually decided much earlier – in our hearts.

In the first place, are we dead serious about preserving our moral purity? Do we fear God enough to want to honour Him in all areas, including our bodies?

If so, we would have put in place measures to shore up our defences even before temptation strikes. So the moment it hits us, we would know how to deal with it – and hopefully escape unscathed.

How then do we build our moral reserves?

B y D r L i m P o h A nn

RESIST King Lemuel was taught by his mother not to spend his strength on women, his vigour on those who ruin kings (Proverbs 31:3).

Elsewhere, the Bible is replete with warnings against yielding to sexual

temptation. How can young men stay on the path of purity? By memorising, delighting in and meditating on Scripture so that they can live by it (Psalm 119:9-16).

It’s interesting to note that this injunction to young men correlates with

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Build your defences before temptation strikes

RUN BEFORE YOU

FALL

normal physiological functions. Young men have 10 times more testosterone (a sex hormone) than women, which accounts for the former’s powerful sex drive. After peaking in the early 20s, male testosterone levels dip about 1 percent each year. So by the time men reach their 50s, their libido and performance would have diminished.

But we should not say “It’s my hormones that made me do it” when we yield to temptation. The biblical stance is clear: There is no provision for any alternative lifestyle1 for sexual fulfillment apart from a monogamous, heterosexual relationship between a man and a woman who are committed to one another by marriage.

The next time when temptation strikes, identify with the truth by confessing aloud: I am the temple of the Holy Spirit. I have been bought with a price. So I have to glorify God in my body (1 Cor. 6:19-20).

If Jesus confronted satan’s temptations by quoting Scripture, can we do any less?

FLEE Not only do we arm ourselves with the Word and affirm it when tempted, we need to flee from the scene of temptation. When Joseph was tempted to sleep with Potiphar’s wife (Gen. 39:7), he fled. Had he lingered on, he wouldn’t have the strength to resist the wiles of this femme fatale. Many lesser men had become her victims whenever she batted her eyelids, flicked her hair and twirled it round her fingers.

There is no point praying for strength if you are walking towards temptation or indirectly acquiescing to it. You must mean serious business. In practice, this might mean surfing in an open area or clicking away from a sexually enticing image. Or giving up the habit of frequenting karaoke joints with bad company if this corrupts good character (1 Cor 15:33).

While temptation is not sin, the line demarcating the two is so thin that it’s wise to nip it in the bud – while we’re still able to.

We cannot stop the birds from flying over our heads but we can prevent them from nesting on our heads. Leave – no, you must run – while you’re still strong enough.

CELEBRATE But it’s not only about resisting and fleeing from temptation. We are also told to celebrate the joys of sexual union in marriage. Rather than “embrace the bosom of an adventuress”, we are exhorted to “drink water from our own cistern” (Proverbs 5: 15,20).

If intimacy – sexual and emotional – is lacking in a marriage, the tendency is to look for it outside.

There is no point praying for strength if you are walking towards temptation or indirectly acquiescing to it. You must mean serious business.

For men, this intimacy is mainly sexual in nature; for women, it is predominantly emotional. If these areas are compromised in a marriage or when familiarity reigns between the sheets of the marriage bed, the propensity is to dispel the humdrum with some excitement from outside.

The apostle Paul was down-to-earth and forthright regarding provision of conjugal rights within marriage: “The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife” (1 Cor. 7: 4).

A sex-starved spouse is more likely to be lecherous though this is not absolutely true. Some are so incurably wayward that they prefer “exotic culinary delights” to “home-cooked food”. They are constantly thinking of spicy tom yam and how to inject some pizzazz into their sex lives.

BE EMPOWERED What if one has a genuine desire to keep God’s moral law but still has difficulty overcoming sexual temptation?

By choosing to “walk by the Spirit”, one will not gratify the desires of the flesh (Gal. 5:16): Draw near to God; be exposed to people and situations where God is glorified; pray in the Spirit; listen to uplifting messages; worship God; fellowship with other believers.

Remember that other believers are also facing similar struggles (1 Cor. 10:13). Jesus was tempted in every way just like us – and that includes sexual temptations (Hebrews 4:15). Seductive women of ill repute crossed His path as He ministered but He knew how to handle the situation.

Sure, you might say, for He is divine.

But we too have the power of the Holy Spirit within us at our disposal. Praise

God “the law of the Spirit who gives life has set us free from the law of sin and death” (Romans 8:2). This does not imply we are sinless but sin’s stranglehold in our lives has been broken.

By being accountable to someone of the same sex (preferably one more mature in the faith), our struggles and progress can be shared.

PRE VENTION BE T TER THAN CURE What if we fall? We simply come to God, ask for forgiveness and begin on a “new” slate again. But, truth be told, prevention is better than cure. Though God in His mercy forgives, the consequences of sin often remain.

For David, the aftermath, as spoken by the prophet Nathan, was brutal: Violence constantly pursued him, his son Absalom rebelled against him and the “love child” with Bathsheba died despite the king’s desperate prayer.

Even today, moral failure continues to leave a trail of destruction in its wake. The aggrieved spouse finds it difficult to trust the offender. It may result in divorce, loss of job, position, dignity and honour, financial loss and venereal disease. A moment of indiscretion, a fling, a one-night stand can result in a lifetime of regret. Many are constantly wracked with worry that they might have contracted AIDS. As the saying goes: “Sin will take you further than you want to go, keep you longer than you want to stay and cost you more than what you are willing to pay.”

Repentance does not necessarily erase the temporal effects of sin. In exchange for fleeting delights, there is so much at stake, so much we stand to lose.

Is it worthwhile savouring “forbidden fruit” though apparently it tastes so sweet?3 1 ` No fornication, cohabiting, extramarital sex or homosexuality.

2 Eternal consequences of sexual sin 3 Proverbs 9:17-18

A medical doctor, Dr Lim used to be the editor of Asian Beacon (Dec 2008 to Oct 2011). He can be reached at http:// limpohann.blogspot.com

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co v er story

R

ecently, I received an

email from a dear college friend, whom I hadn’t heard from in a long while.

Excited to hear what news he had to share, I quickly skimmed for highlights. Gasp... he was seeing someone!

But wait. The name of his partner is… not a girl’s name! Surely that can’t be right.

I have known Jack (not his real name) for over 10 years now when we were studying at a Christian college in the US. Jack and I hung out in the same group and shared many similar interests, amongst them, our faith; even today, I would count him as one of my closest friends. Never in the world would I have imagined that all that time, he was struggling with his sexuality.

My heart broke for him after reading the email. He apologised for keeping the news from me for so long but that in the last few years, he had been slowly coming out of the closet with friends and family.

On the one hand, I felt surprised, and even angry that he had chosen to go down this path. How could I reconcile the fact that he is a godly, Bible-believing person who has now chosen this lifestyle, and yet sees it as in perfect alignment with his faith? How did he slip down to this point?

Yet, I was saddened at the thought that he most probably had felt rejection and fear throughout our college years. Then, he lived in an environment that openly forbade the practice of homosexuality. Did he sweep the issue under the proverbial rug? I tried to recall if we, as his friends, had ever ridiculed people that were seemingly ‘gay’ or made ‘gay’ remarks that would have made him feel small and undervalued.

In response to his confession, I told him that while I could not accept his chosen lifestyle, I still loved him dearly and cherished our friendship. He told me he understood my disagreement about his lifestyle, but was thankful that I had not “cast him off ” as a friend.

But what does it mean to be his friend?

As a friend, what is an appropriate response to his new lifestyle? Does it mean that I should be happy for him in his newfound relationship? Wouldn’t that mean I approve his lifestyle? Can I be his friend and yet not share in his joy?

As I reflected on my emotions and

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My gay

But I have to continually return to God’s Word on the matter – and to me, it is clear that God’s intended purpose for a sexual relationship must be in the context of marriage, between a man and a woman.

Which means homosexuality is against God’s order, just as much as promiscuity outside the boundaries of marriage is.

In the end, I know that homosexuality is like any other sin that we all as humans are vulnerable to – lust, greed, jealousy, deceit, impure thoughts etc. My friend is no more a sinner than I am and is in need of God’s grace as much I do each day. I cannot claim to be a better Christian than him because there are sins in my life too that I perhaps rationalise away and find loopholes around. And unless God in His grace opens up my eyes and heart to reveal His truth and helps me to obey, I will continue on (knowingly or unknowingly) in my foolish and sinful ways.

As C.S. Lewis wrote, “We are halfhearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered to us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea.

We are far too easily pleased.” I hope I am never satisfied with the counterfeit things of this world, when God clearly wants to offer me more.

In realising this, I hope that it is not unkind of me to pray that Jack will one day realise homosexuality is against God’s moral code and natural order for mankind, and that he will reject this all-pervasive belief that homosexuality is normal. God has a better and perfect plan for our lives, if only we would accept His Word as nonnegotiable truth and learn to walk in it.

God is an almighty, all-knowing God. He sees the depths of our hearts, and what He sees is that we are all sinners who need His healing grace and forgiveness. And yet He loves us all the same. We need His transforming power to change us to become like Christ.

I hope that in the future when I encounter Jack, who still professes a solid faith in Christ, he and I can relate as friends who both love God but are still being forgiven and transformed daily by Him. May God have mercy on us both.

Christian friend B y C hew S u e L ee

thoughts about his surprise disclosure, I found I had more questions than answers.

Though I had always held the belief that homosexuality was against God’s purpose for mankind, I started to wonder if there were loopholes in God’s Word that would allow for acceptance of his lifestyle in the Church, and in God’s sight.

After all, homosexuals were God’s created beings too and surely He loved them just as much, and wouldn’t deny them the very basic human need of companionship? I wanted to sympathise with Jack and tell him, “It’s okay to be gay.” In my mind, this issue of homosexuality slowly became a grey area in which there was no absolute truth.

I hope it is clear in this article that I am not attempting to answer any questions about the origins of homosexuality, its consequences or its cure. I am not capable of such expositions and there is too much ground to cover, as I have discovered in my research.

I am thankful for the insightful reading material given to me by Dr Ng Kam Weng (Director of Kairos Research Centre) which has helped me better think through this issue. While I am far from having all the answers, I realise that it is easy for me to go down the slippery path of considering homosexuality as normal and even acceptable – especially if people I care about are revealing themselves to be homosexuals ( Jack is not the first).

God forbid that I should be viewed as homophobic and dogmatic by the world, and so I am tempted to soften my beliefs to make it more palatable.

EMBRACING THE SINNER, NOT THE SLEAZE

co v er story

provides support on a one-on-one basis.

“It’s about forming friendships, going out for coffee, being available for people who are really struggling with temptation, providing materials that they can learn from. We also provide speakers for coffee mornings and pastoral training. We have an Internet forum as well,” she explains.

Sanctuary also connects women, who struggle with homosexuality and emotional dependency, to existing ministries (like Elijah House or Sydney-based Living Waters) and professional counsellors.

EMBRACING THE SINNER, NOT THE SLEAZE B y C hr i st i ne C ranney

J

Laurie Jean proudly showing the fence her church members built for her house.

ust before I got married in

2008, I, a conservative Christian Malaysian woman, shared an apartment with a homosexual.

Mark (not his real name) and I had studied journalism together at the University of Queensland, Australia. He was not too effeminate, just soft-spoken and gentle. He kept the house clean, was honest and very considerate. What more could a girl ask for in a housemate? One evening, Mark asked me if I thought God would approve of a gay man who was masculine and morally upright.

I am unique in having had the opportunity to interact closely with homosexuals (yes, I’ve had another homosexual housemate and that’s another story), but like many Christians, I know I fell short in showing them God’s heart and His love for them. How do we love those who struggle with homosexuality?

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A sanctuary for lesbians My search for answers led me to Sanctuary International, a ministry supporting lesbians on the Sunshine Coast in Queensland, Australia. The ministry founder, Laurie Jean Wilson (see “Girl in love with girl” on page 18), lives on a road that is a five-minute drive from my house.

Before we drove from her street, Laurie Jean, 57, showed me the fence her church members built for her after her husband died a year ago. The mother of two has spoken in conferences in Asia and North America but she hadn’t travelled much in recent years because of John’s illness.

However, she just returned from Toronto and will be in Kuala Lumpur to attend a conference in September.

“My own background is of same-sex attraction before I had children,” Laurie Jean, 57, explains. “I started Sanctuary because I noticed that most ministries for

the same-sex attracted are run by men.

There was a need for a ministry like this.”

Before agreeing to our interview, Laurie Jean checked my credentials with the Asian Beacon office and her ministry associates in Kuala Lumpur. She is understandably wary of journalists as the Australian media are typically biased against those (particularly Christians) who oppose gay rights.

Explaining Sanctuary’s approach to helping lesbians, Laurie Jean quotes the motto of a fellow ministry, “Freedom from sexual brokenness not through a method … but a person, the Lord Jesus Christ.”

“It’s all about our journey with God and not about changing from same-sex to heterosexual. It’s about holiness. We try to encourage the women on their journey with Christ and see where that takes them,” she says. “We teach them their identity is in Christ, not in their sexuality.”

Sanctuary, which started in 2000,

A choice Psychologists say while environmental factors, including experiences of sexual abuse or other traumatic events, can lead to homosexual attractions, a common contributor to same-sex attractions is the arrested development of gender identity.

The experts think a person’s gender identity is formed in childhood, through relationships with the same-sex parent and same-sex peers.

Laurie Jean explains that her homosexuality had roots in her perception of a childhood incident. “That could be the only instant in my life that caused me to seek another woman for comfort. There may be other bits and pieces but there may only be one thing.

“One day, my mum gave me to my aunt to look after for two weeks. My mum went to the hospital to have my sister. That’s normal. That happens in almost every family … the separation that you have with your children but my perception was that my mother had abandoned me.

“So I then distanced myself from my mum, who really is a good mum. But there was that one moment that I wasn’t even aware of until five years ago [when God revealed it to her].”

She points out that women struggling with homosexuality are emotionally dependent on others and often feel lonely.

Every woman has a need for same-sex companionship that needs to be met in a healthy way.

“The thing is to develop healthy relationships with women who don’t have that problem. Women who aren’t samesex attracted aren’t prone to emotional dependency, so you’ve got ‘safe’ people to spend time with,” Laurie Jean explains. “It’s

not a sexual thing but a relational thing.”

After our interview, Laurie Jean was going to meet a female friend whom she sees regularly. “It helps to meet that need not just for companionship with a woman, but companionship with an adult, because I’m living basically by myself [since John died].”

Homose xuals also need God Out of fear and ignorance, Christians inadvertently avoid and condemn the ones who need God most. Even though Laurie Jean left her lesbian lifestyle 30 years ago, she recalls being snubbed by a Christian lady after sharing about her past.

“I had only been in the church small group for two weeks. The next week when I saw someone at church from that group, she didn’t talk to me. I said ‘hello’ and she just cut me off.”

Every woman has a need for same-sex companionship that needs to be met in a healthy way.

To reach out to homosexuals, it is essential that the Church understands that they are just like others. “[Christians need to know] that we’ve all made mistakes, that we’re all fallen, and to love them the same as you would anyone else. And when they come to your church, you should treat them the same as any other. If they come as a couple, treat them the same as any de facto couple,” Laurie Jean says. “The worst thing you can say to them is: You’re condemned. You’re going to hell. You’re an abomination.”

Exodus Global Alliance, a Christian organisation that Sanctuary International is a part of, asks a pertinent question in one of its online articles: “Wouldn’t it be better for Christians to view a gay person as just another person, in need of the same things that we all need – the good news of redemption from our sins by the work of Jesus Christ on the cross?”

Laurie Jean agrees. When relating to lesbians, she tries to model Christ to them.

“We accept them, we love them. We don’t condemn them because our role is to show them the love of Christ is the same as with any other person living outside of Christ.

“We refrain from calling them sinners when we’re with them. But we share with them our understanding that the act of homosexuality is a sin.”

Befriending homose xuals She shares that in trying to reach out to her lesbian friends, she regularly attends two lesbian women’s annual Christmas parties.

The parties often get quite wild.

“What they’re not aware of is that once they start to drink, even a straight woman starts to get a bit sleazy, sensuous. I go because I like to build friendships with them. But I leave just as they start to have too many drinks so that I’m not confronted by all the sexual innuendoes that happen when they dance with each other.”

Asked if she thought Jesus would go to gay events to reach out to the people, Laurie Jeans looks amused but gives a firm ‘no’ in her answer.

“I don’t think Jesus would go to the Mardi Gras… He’s more likely to bump into them at the local markets and strike up a conversation. If the reason to go to these things is to build friendships, you can do that by going to coffee shops with them.”

But Jesus is God? “Yeah, but He was still open to temptation,” Laurie Jean says.

Sexually?

“Yes. Otherwise He can’t identify with us! Jesus dealt with temptation very effectively. He teaches us how to deal with temptation but we’re not as good with it.”

Exodus calls homosexuals “the largest deliberately unreached people group in the world”. With an estimated 155 million homosexuals worldwide, the majority are in the Far East, from India and Central Asia (38 million) to China (32 million) and the Asia Pacific region (25 million). [For more information on Exodus, visit http://www. exodusgloballiance.org] In reaching out to the homosexuals, let’s see them as sinners who need God – just like us – and not look at the sleaze.

Reach out to them in friendship, and in so doing, you could be planting seeds in their hearts that could lead to faith in Jesus!

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co v er story

Finding Real Love

E

dmund Smith is a good -

looking pastor, loving husband and father of two children who once led a “wild homosexual lifestyle,”

as he says.

Smith had his first gay relationship when he was 18. A pub singer at night and a special education teacher by day, he used to entertain thoughts of having a sex change and tried to behave as femininely as possible. Plucking his eyebrows and shaving the hair on his legs were just two of his many womanly routines. What drove him to this lifestyle and what made him walk away from it?

Confusing Childhood “I am the fourth boy in my family. When Mum was pregnant with me, they had hoped that I would be a girl. Perhaps that’s why, until I was five, my mother brought me up like a girl. I played with dolls and wore dresses,” says Edmund.

“My father rejected me – he never hugged me or touched me. My rejection deepened especially after my younger sister was born because I could remember clearly my father loving her and saying nice things to her just because she was a girl.”

“So, for the first five years of my life, I remember wishing to be a girl due to all the ‘self issues’ that had developed because of how my parents treated me and my confusing upbringing.

I hated being a guy and naturally I began to think, feel and talk like a girl,” he recalls.

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by C h u a E e C h i en

“When I reached the age of six and started to go to kindergarten, my mum suddenly decided to stop treating me like a girl after receiving comments from others and she started abusing and beating me up, making me more confused,” he says.

Edmund was later sent to an all-boys school and there he found boys who were just as effeminate. So, at the age of 13, he began his homosexual life.

Triggers Based on his personal experience, he finds that there are mainly three specific issues which would trigger one’s journey to homosexuality, if not dealt with.

The first is the ‘vacuum’ issue, which is related to a lack of parental love. “Everyone needs the ‘V’ love. A mother’s love flows down from one side, and a father’s love flows down from the other and a child needs both parents’ love. Most gay guys

have never had a father’s love,” he says.

The second trigger is the ‘self issue’, which is basically something about ourselves that we reject. For example, if you are a man and you reject your masculinity, that becomes a ‘self issue’ towards your gender.

The third trigger is the ‘barrier issue’, which causes one to look at the opposite gender negatively due to bad experiences such as abuse and bitterness.

Unfortunately for Smith, he had all three issues and therefore, looked for real love among his kind all through his secondary school days, while trying to be as feminine as possible.

Smith had his first real relationship with a man when he was 18 but it only lasted a year as his partner became possessive.

He then started another relationship with another man.

It was not until he was 24 when he was dumped by his third lover that Smith decided he was sick and tired of his lifestyle and decided that he’d rather be single than

Loving husband, doting father… Smith with wife Amanda and daughters

be used by men again. It was a lonely journey to recovery as he had to walk away from his friends and give up his lifestyle of frequenting gay clubs and saunas.

Meeting The Right Man Brought up in a Roman Catholic home, Smith faithfully went to church even while he was practising the homosexual lifestyle.

“I went to church every Sunday, but I never had a relationship with Jesus,” he says.

His turning point came when he met Jenny, his colleague at Salvation Army where he worked as a teacher. “One day, Jenny asked me, ‘Why don’t you give Jesus a try?’ I then decided to open up my heart and receive Christ into my life.”

Upon Jenny’s invitation, he started attending the Salvation Army Church and grew in his relationship with this Jesus.

Looking back, Smith realises that his “right man – Jesus” had always been by his side because when he was going through his third break-up, he happened to be at a place where he was surrounded by Christians.

“If not for Jesus and the support from fellow Christians, I would have gone back

to my old lifestyle. The journey to recovery from sexual brokenness is not an easy one.

You need a church or group who can listen to you and lift you up when you fall,” Smith says.

One of Smith’s greatest blessings is his wife, Amanda Amutha Perumal, who was his colleague and good friend at Salvation Army. In 1997, Smith and Amanda went to Singapore Bible College to further their studies and there, they got to know about Choices, a Singapore- based organisation which reaches out to homosexuals.

They were trained at Choices for their ministry with homosexuals and in 2003, they moved back to Malaysia and set up Real Love Ministry (RLM) in Malacca.

“I started the ministry with the goal of raising up Befrienders-trained RLM workers who will journey with homosexuals who want to leave their lifestyle. I also started giving talks on the issues of sexual brokenness and formed support groups,” says Smith.

Spreading The Love In 2006, Edmund and Amanda felt God’s call to start a church in Malacca which they

later named Real Love Fellowship. Today, Edmund is the Senior Pastor of the church, reaching out and spreading the love of Jesus to the sexually-broken and marginalised community. His church is attended by the young and old from all walks of life.

The proud father of two – Angel and Ethan – has a passion for the performing arts and still sings, acts and dances professionally. His album, Wake Up, was inspired from his years of community work with the mentally-challenged, AIDs patients and homosexuals. He also travels frequently as an itinerant speaker, sharing his testimony to many.

Seeing the huge need of the homosexual community, Smith says that his church is looking to doing more work among the community. “There are hundreds of homosexuals who want to come out, but we have only few Befrienders,” he says. “We need more people to step out to reach out to these people.”

The Smiths also hope to purchase their own building to cater to the increasing needs of their church members and ministry. More information on Real Love Ministry is available at www.r-l-m.com. a

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co v er story co v er story

A

bout the age of 16,

I became aware of an attraction to the same sex.

At that time, I had no way of dealing with it and no one to talk to. My friends and I did play a dating game with boys, swapping boys each month and doing nothing more than holding hands at the church coffee shop.

I was not attracted to them. It was just a game and nice to be accepted by them.

My friends did not believe me when I told them I was a lesbian. Feelings continued to grow but I still had no one to help.

However I became a committed Christian at 17 and in the excitement of my new faith, those same-sex attraction feelings faded for a time. I was even attracted towards several young men. But during the following years whilst in college and at work, these lesbian tendencies returned.

After much struggling I succumbed and entered into a lesbian relationship.

I had been introduced to a young lesbian who was living in a back room, sleeping on a stretcher in a house with a man who often propositioned her. I wanted to rescue her. We became lovers and moved in together for six months.

During this time my faith remained but, I was stranded between two worlds.

My friends at church who knew of my plight offered me love, acceptance and much prayer.

One of the turning points in my life was when I was a leader at a camp. The Director knew of my living situation and asked to have a chat with me one night.

She explained that she would always care for me and accept me no matter what decision I made about my life. I had longed for that kind of acceptance which reflected Christ’s love. Her prayers and my Christian friends’ were soon answered.

At the beginning of 1976, I was offered a job at the Uniting Church Office in Brisbane as an offset printer. The Director of the camp had recommended me for the position. As I had wanted to serve God in a full-time capacity for a long time, I grabbed the opportunity, left my partner and moved back with my parents.

I understood that I could not serve God fully if my primary focus was elsewhere.

Several weeks later at a youth conference

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Girl in love with girl

A former lesbian, Laurie Jean Wilson, tells Christine Cranney her story.

I met John, my late husband.

He talked with me for three hours while we were setting up the stage for a musical production. I did not find him attractive at the time. A couple of months later at a party we talked again and we were soon seeing each other regularly. He was kind, easy to talk to and accepting of my past.

He became my closest friend and within six months we were married!

However, I had not resolved the issues that caused my lesbian orientation and so our marriage was ‘interesting’ at times.

But John’s love was deep and he gave me the space to work through things. One of the most important factors to my healing process was my determination to be free from all the hurts and wrong perceptions that had caused me to look towards another person to fulfill needs only God could.

It has taken many years of allowing

God to bring healing to past hurts and misperceptions. Ministries like “Living Waters” and Exodus, and a very patient counsellor in addition to much prayer have been essential ingredients for healing.

Today, 33 years on, I lead “Sanctuary International” ministry on the Sunshine Coast (a member ministry of EXODUS) in Queensland, Australia. I have two adult sons. My husband recently passed away but as a couple, God had enabled us to make a happy “lifelong” commitment to each other.

This journey is not over. God continues to strengthen me to move forward, knowing I am a “child of God” and that my God keeps me in His care. Even though I may still struggle occasionally… I am still His and this is where my identity now lies, not focusing on the past but focusing on my future with Him.

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SINGLES, SEX and the CITY S I N G L E S , S E X and the C I T Y

co v er story

S

omeone wrote that just

as you can have too much health, you can have too much democracy. Perhaps something like that can be said of sex. Most sensible, hardworking ordinary people with healthy world views would agree, although they are bombarded daily with sexual or sexy images, especially in the city.

But it also depends on what you mean by democracy or sex, for sex has many dimensions: physical, biological, psychological, emotional, romantic, procreative, religious, cultural and sociological. More than just for procreation, sex is not only important; it is beautiful when there is a proper coming together of these different dimensions in the context of a marriage union between the opposite sexes.

The Bible uses such a union to point to that between God and His people in the Old Testament, in Hosea and the Song of Solomon, and the union and intimacy between Christ and the Church (Eph.5:32).

However, associated with lust, money, power, racial prejudice, drugs, social media or extra-marital affairs, sex can be horribly destructive. Witness the rise and fall of empires in history, mass rapes and ethnic cleansing in wars, AIDs and sexuallytransmitted diseases! Its seduction extends to unnatural, unspeakable practices (Romans 1:26-28), temple prostitution and ‘worship’ in certain religious cults in times past and to innocent children today.

Such over-exaggerated importance of sex is really a sub-culture of vocal, creative, and influential sexually-liberated minority groups in our cities following the so-called sexual revolution in the 1950s.

These voices advocate ‘free sex’ – often leading to penetrative sex. Adultery, sodomy, homosexual and other deviant sexual behaviour have thus become more acceptable in the cities.

Cities offer anonymity or ‘safety in

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B y R E V . L O H S OO N C H O Y

numbers’, unlike in the traditional villages.

They represent modernity, progress, pluralism, civilisation, culture, the future and sophisticated world views.

“A one-night stand? So what? All my friends do it.” “How could it be so wrong when it feels so good?” and a score of other excuses can be given. A sexual exploit can be a rite of passage to maturity or a badge of social prowess with the opposite sex.

These voices drown the quiet unspoken testimonies of a vast part of our populations who do not have the urge, position, time or luxury for sexual adventures. They include the unmarried; the singles, including widows, widowers and an increasing number of divorcees who do not remarry; the senior citizens who are past the reproductive period; teenagers; and children.

If we follow the voices of the mainstream religions, conscience and common sense (from our natural world views which come from the natural revelation of the Creator God), abstaining from sexual relations outside of marriage would indeed put the lie to the perverted, over-exaggerated importance of sex in secularised urban societies, especially in the West.

For city world views are at odds in this matter with the more conservative world views upheld by the major world religions.

Followers of popular TV dramas such as Sex and the City know this well! To be fair, however, conservative religions have been noted sometimes for their extreme positions that lead to unnecessary prudishness or hypocrisy towards the subject of sex!

As the biblical idea of singleness embraces the idea of abstention from sex understood in the secularised context above, we shall use singleness as a case study to prove our point about the secular world’s false over-emphases on sex in life.

1 | Singleness as a proper divine calling

The Lord may call some people to singleness – whether permanently or for a significant part of their lives. They should not be stereotyped, sometimes even by well-meaning loved ones.

Christ teaches that some “have renounced marriage because of the Kingdom of heaven.

The one who can accept this should accept it” (Mt. 19:12b, NIV).

So, singleness is not a ‘second-class’ estate that’s inferior to the marital estate. Voluntary singleness should be affirmed by wise guidance inspired and empowered to serve God, humanity and the environment more intentionally. Both Scripture and history testify to the power of being single when such singleness is a joyful, passionate calling.

In these modern times, let us not allow the wealth of even biblical teaching and imageries on marriage, family, parenting and children eclipse what God has also spoken about singleness. Let our churches have intentional community programmes and ministries for singles such as in times past.

We could do, for example, with updated, contextualised sensitive adaptations of the monastic movements that did so much for prayer and intercession, and the intellectual, moral, social, cultural and sometimes even the economic uplift of the people around them.

2 | Singleness and marriage are both penultimate estates Only Christ, as Bridegroom and Husband of the Church, and His Bride will be eternal and ultimate (compare how God describes himself as Israel’s Husband in Hosea or Lover in Song of Solomon). Our maleness or femaleness – i.e. our sexuality – will not be so. The Lord told the Sadducees, “You are in error because you do not know the Scriptures, or the power of God. At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven.” (Mt. 22:29-30, concerning which of a woman’s seven husbands will be her true husband at the resurrection.)

W hatever the importance of

marriage and family, or the husbandwife relationship, they rank ‘No.2’ to our relationship with Christ, our Bridegroom and Husband, according to Scripture.

No wonder Paul states categorically in a profound passage in 1 Cor. 7 (which is both on the sanctity of marriage as well as singleness or the unmarried position) that “from now on those who have wives should live as if they had none ...” (1 Cor. 7:29).

After applying this principle of detachment from penultimate things, even to the most intimate of all human relationships, he extends the principle to emotions (“those who mourn ... who are happy ...”) and then to wealth and possessions (“who buy ..., keep ...”) and to power (“who use ...., the world”) in verses 30-31 (NIV).

These are the four greatest issues of life: marriage, emotions, riches and power.

Paul then gives two profound reasons: (1) “Time is short” (vs 9); and (2) “For this world ... is passing away” – a reference to what could be called this world’s finite, perishable ‘space-time continuum’.

The emphasis in authentic living should not be in these No. 2 or penultimate things (though they are important gifts of God) but in the ultimate things of God that are eternal. Sex, as it is hyped up in the world, is NOT one of them.

3 | The validity of singleness implies a deeper theology of se xuality Eugene Peterson touches on the issue in his exposition of the Song of Solomon in his Five Smooth Stones for Pastoral Work.

God illustrates the deep intimacy He seeks to have with us by using the imagery of Bride and Bridegroom. He ‘plunders’ the imagery of the ‘body parts’ to describe the deepest levels of intimacy between the Bride and the Bridegroom. Such unabashed, wholesome acceptance of the body matches the psychologist’s call not to deny or suppress, but to sublimate our bodily and sexual desires to live purposeful,

creative lives with purity.

Many forms of life can reproduce asexually (without sex). Certain fish species change from female to male when the leading fish dies and a female becomes a male to replace it, or when very old, like the Grouper species. Even for humans, when we reach very old age, it is like we become neither ‘male’ nor ‘female’ (though we are still masculine and feminine). In such old age, our sexuality (for reproductive purposes) no longer matters.

Today, we talk of cloning, which bypasses the normal reproductive processes. C.S. Lewis and others have observed that for some unknown reason, mountains, hills, skies and stones etc. have masculine, feminine or neuter (i.e. gender) references noted by the ancients (Latin, Greek, Chinese, Hebrew, Indian). In the Hindu culture, some deities assume either sex e.g. a male god, Avalokita, transmuted into the Chinese Kuan Yin! The Hindu god, Shiva, has been famously depicted in a sculpture as bi-gender with one half of the body female and the other half male.

In the Bible, God speaks of himself in ‘bi-gender’ terms. For example in Gen.1:27, God created humankind male and female in his image (has bi-gender but not bisexual qualities, suggesting an important distinction between sex and gender as hinted above). In Mt.23:37 and Lk.13:34, “O Jerusalem, Jerusalem ... I want to gather your children together as a hen gathers her chickens.”

St Augustine called Jesus a “Divine Hen”. In Mt.6:9, Jesus teaches us to think of God as our Father. In Isaiah 66:13, God is likened to a comforting mother. In Deut.32:11, God is likened to a mother eagle teaching the baby eagles how to fly. Even Rembrandt in his painting, The Return of the Prodigal Son, portrayed the double qualities of the father (representing God) by painting one hand masculine and the other, feminine.

Throughout Scripture, we can see the robust manly virtues and tender womanly

graces in God and Christ and Christ-like people. All these are not just explained away by anthromorphism, i.e. the use of human language in all ‘God Talk”.

Human beings being made in the image of God seem to possess both qualities too. True manhood has a feminine quality and there is some masculine quality in womanhood. In the end-times, heralding the Rule of God, “... there is neither male nor female; or you are all one in Christ Jesus” (Gal.3:28; Joel 2:28-29). In 1 Thes.1:7, Paul sees himself with a feminine quality – “But we were gentle among you, just as a nursing mother cherishes her own children.” No doubt the ideal man or woman can double up functionally and emotionally, if he or she (such as a widower or widow) has to be both father and mother to the children.

Overrated In heaven, there seems to be no sexuality but gender because there is no marriage, i.e. sexuality (Lk. 20:35, Mt.22:30). It may be concluded that sexuality is for this world while gender lasts for eternity. Therefore, it is expedient for singles to spend time on building their personhood and character (Being), which is an integral eternal part of their masculinity/femininity, their manhood/womanhood as part of their personhood.

Such a reflection may or may not be wholly acceptable to everyone but it certainly provides helpful insights. Recent scholarship suggests that ‘gender’ may be understood in contrast to ‘biological sex’.

However, for practical purposes, most people mix up the two sets of concepts (sex/sexuality on one hand, and the gender of masculinity or femininity on the other).

The bottom line is clear. Only our relationship to and status in Christ are ultimate and eternal – not our marital or single status. Sex in the physical and genital sense has been therefore harmfully overrated and misunderstood in daily life – and, perhaps along with that, many issues related to sex!

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23

T he p u rity pledge : D oes it work ?

co v er story

Chang… guiding young people to live a life with no regrets.

The purity pledge:

P

Does it work?

romises are easily made

and it seems, as easily broken. As such, will signing a “no sex until marriage” pledge, as promoted by No Apologies, be truly effective?

No Apologies (NA) is an abstinence programme that educates young people about making wise choices on sexual involvement before marriage. Developed by non-profit organisation Focus on the Family, it covers topics such as human relationships, consequences of premarital sex, HIV/AIDS awareness, the value of marriage and media literacy. The programme culminates with an invitation to participants to sign pledge cards committing to abstinence until marriage.

The programme started in Malaysia in 2003 and up to May this year, 50,192 young people have participated in the workshops.

Of that, 90.97% (or 45,664) have signed the pledge of abstinence.

However, the programme officially ends with the pledge. Moreover, it is not

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compulsory for a participant to sign the pledge though it is encouraged, according to NA Manager Peter Chang. “There are a few participants who do commit to abstinence but chose not to sign the pledge card,” he says.

So, while an abstinence pledge is a good initiative on paper, how effective is it in the long run?

To find out, the NA team conducted a study in 2011 on the effectiveness of the programme. A total of 1,680 former participants ranging from age 14 to 26, who signed the pledge between 2003 and 2008, responded to the study. The study showed that 91.79% (or 1,542) kept the pledge.

“We’re very encouraged by the results. It shows that the pledges have been effective and young people are taking ownership of their decision,” Chang says.

He believes that the element of accountability is one of the crucial points

of the pledge. It is a requirement for the participant to have a witness sign the pledge alongside him or her.

“It would be ideal if a parent signs as witness. Otherwise, we ask participants to find someone they look up to – a teacher, a pastor, or a mentor,” explains Chang.

While the success rate is encouraging, the 8.21% (138 participants) who broke the pledge should not be overlooked.

According to the study, personal choice was cited as the most common reason for breaking the pledge, followed by pressure from peer or partner. What is more worrying is that the average age of those who broke the pledge has decreased – from 17 years old in 2003 to 15.5 in 2008.

Another point to note is that the number of pledges signed at workshops has been declining, according to Patience Chen, Chang’s co-worker.

While the study may prove the general effectiveness of the programme, the NA team is far from being complacent. It is now crucial to bring awareness and knowledge

of sexual abstinence to youth as early as possible.

Chang and Chen highlight that a major challenge to sexual purity is the increasing influence of media in today’s world.

“Music, TV, the Internet, movies... they can be very sensuous,” Chang says. “Just listen to the lyrics of some songs.”

There is also a need to instil family values. According to the study, one in 3.5 teenagers in Malaysia says it is acceptable to have premarital sex. Meanwhile, the majority who say that sex is for married people cannot explain the rationale for this.

“There are parties who insist that sex remains a taboo subject. They claim that talking about it would only make young people more curious,” Chang says. “But actually they already know about sex, usually from the media and friends.”

Hence, the task of spreading awareness and knowledge of abstinence remains a crucial one. And for a team of four fulltime NA staff, time and manpower are of the essence. Chang takes this opportunity to appeal for volunteers.

“You see how effective the programme has been and how many young people have been reached. So why not be part of it? We train volunteers regularly in three languages,” he says.

“We also need to go down to the grassroots. Young people need role models, especially those close to them. They need directive education. It’s hard for us to follow up thousands of students. We go into the schools or colleges and see them

for only two days.

“Even if you can’t be a facilitator, at least be involved in the young people’s lives,” Chang reiterates.

No regrets In conclusion, does the pledge really work?

Chang answers candidly, “If you’re asking if there’s a guarantee, then no.

Choices are made every day, and a commitment like this has to be an intentional daily decision. People can change their mind suddenly. What we try to do is tell them the consequences of their decision and guide them to live a life with no regrets.”

How does the team counsel those who have broken the pledge? Chang says a message of hope is given: “Whatever they’ve done is in the past. What matters is what they do after. Do they make the same mistake? Or do they change? We can only do so much; the rest is beyond our control.”

The NA work seems a thankless task, yet it is worth remembering that the programme as a whole does much in changing the young people’s perspective.

Towards this end, the NA team plan to conduct a longer-term survey – one that would assess the pledged participants 10 to 15 years after their pledges.

“We’d really like to hear more from people who can testify to keeping their pledge until the wedding day,” Chang says, and recounts the story of a teacher who had signed as witness and had the privilege of returning the pledge card to the student on his wedding day.

Besides the survey, there are no other plans – except to “close shop”.

Chang grins, “That means that we won’t have to do what we do now, because abstinence would have become the lifestyle.”

So until that day comes, the NA team will persevere in their work of educating the community.

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co v er story

Homosexuality -

A Psychologist’s Prognosis

C

urrently, there is an

ongoing debate on the origin and plasticity of sexual orientation. Some argue that sexual orientation is determined at an early stage of prenatal (before birth) development. Once established at birth, it cannot be altered at will. Sexual orientation is therefore not a matter of personal choice.

Others propose that social and educational environment play significant roles in determining one’s sexual orientation. This camp advocates that orientation can be shaped at will and is a product of the environment. Hence, sexual orientation is a personal choice.

Whichever side we take, adopting a rigid perspective on the nature and nurture discourse on sexual orientation is problematic for several reasons.

Firstly, sexual orientation is illdefined. Although many may think that sexual orientation can be neatly classified into either heterosexual or homosexual orientation, there is evidence to suggest that the distinction between them is not as clear cut. Secondly, the stability of sexual orientation through time has been challenged. It is possible for a person to be exclusively heterosexual at one point of his/her life and at another, to engage in homosexual relationship(s).

To complicate matters further, there is a range of individual differences in how people view their own sexual orientation. Some maintain they are born with it and they cannot change their orientation. Others claim that their orientation is a deliberate lifestyle choice and hence, changing orientation is within their control.

It’s evident that sexual orientation is a complex subject that cannot be analysed using a black-or-white approach. To date, what determines sexual orientation is

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unclear. As such, there is also no conclusive evidence to support the notion that sexual orientation can be changed at will for most people who desire such change.

Within the context of counselling homosexuals who struggle with their sexual orientation, some counsellors firmly believe that sexual orientation can be altered if the person desires to change and/ or because God can “heal” him/her. Thus, a change in sexual orientation becomes the main evidence for “recovery” or a sign that the person is moving towards freedom from sin. Despite the commendable intention to help those who struggle with sexuality achieve freedom in Christ, we must be clear on two things.

Caution Firstly, we cannot be dogmatic that everyone who desires change in orientation will experience the change. This view is unsubstantiated and furthermore, propagating that kind of message may do more harm to those seeking help.

For example, how would we respond to those who do not experience orientation change after countless hours of counselling? Would we attribute the failure to some personal shortcoming e.g. a lack of faith or a desire to change? Would God be blamed for such failures? What if the person manages to change orientation but remains a captive of sexual sins?

There are numerous personal accounts of such experiences. Many who sought help experience guilt, self-blame or anger directed at self and others. Some even abandoned their faith in God altogether to cope with their disappointments.

Secondly, we must not isolate and highlight the act of homosexuality as a sin over all other sins. The goal in helping individuals who struggle with sexuality

should be the same regardless of whether they are homosexuals or heterosexuals. In helping anyone who desires to live his/her life in purity and obedience unto the Lord, we need to focus on the transformation of the whole person who is much more than his/her sexuality.

As a church, we are called to fulfill this mission. It is our duty to lovingly proclaim the need for repentance of all sins and that God’s grace through Christ is abundant and available to everyone. We need to be vessels of assurance that deliverance from our struggles from sin is possible and to walk with one another in our journey of restoration and transformation in the Holy Spirit.

Therefore, in making our stand on any issue, we must be certain of the validity of our claims. If not, we lack integrity in handling truth and more importantly, we may misrepresent God in our encounters with people who seek answers to their problems.

Readers are recommended to read the following for more on the subject: 1. Adams, D.L. (2004). Scripture and Homosexuality Symposium [video file].

Concordia Seminary. Podcast retrieved from iTunes University.

2. Swartley, W. (2003). Homosexuality: Biblical Interpretation and Moral Discernment. Scottdale, Canada: Herald Press.

3. Balthazart, J. (2012). The Biology of Homosexuality. New York: Oxford University Press.

Dr Hera Lukman is Associate Professor at the Department of Psychology, Faculty of Behavioural Sciences, HELP University.

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R E C L A I M I N G O U R A U T H E N T I C S E XU A L I T Y

co v er story

children go through the same psychosexual development without the presence of hormones until they reach puberty.

W

e live in a sex-

hyped world. Sex is used to sell anything, from magazines to shampoos, and many aspects of life and social relationships are sexualised or erotised.

Ironically, we don’t really talk about sex. We are actually embarrassed by the subject. Think about parents panicking when their young children ask about the birds and bees or when parents have to give that ‘talk’ to their pubescent children.

Unless we want pop culture and the media to define what sex and sexuality is for us, it is imperative that we know and be vocal about what we believe about the subject.

The truth is, whether from a human or God’s perspective, human beings are sexual beings. However, sexuality is more than the romantic relationships and the act of sexual intercourse as prevalently portrayed.

Sexuality is God’s creation. When God created human beings male and female (Gen 1:27), He created sexual beings. The first thing about sexuality is that as males and females, we are distinctly different; we are not androgynous beings. However, the Bible does not detail how male is different

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from female or what it means to be male and female.

Se x and gender Firstly, male and female can be differentiated from a biological and physical perspective.

Sex is a biological factor, though it can be affected by the environment. The sex of a person is determined by the sex anatomy which is formed through the physiological influence of the male and female hormones on the foetus in the womb.

Except for some rare cases, a baby is born with its sex determined. Sexual development is intensified during puberty, again influenced by hormonal changes.

From this stage onwards, males and females are different in physical structure and appearance, and have different sexual physiology.

Male and female can also be differentiated by their gender roles. Gender is the sense of maleness or femaleness in relation to membership in a given society.

So, unlike sex, which is determined by genetics and biological factors, gender roles are culturally defined and learnt from the

environment or community. Gender roles are what a particular society considers as appropriate behaviours for males and females. Since gender roles are culturally defined, it is not absolute. It can differ from culture to culture and changes with time.

Contrary to popular beliefs, there are no conclusive differences between male and female such as perpetrated by John Gray in Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. Differences found often reflect the difference between the average male and female rather than individual differences between all males and females. So we can find that the fastest woman is slower than the fastest man but not all men run faster than all women.

In fact, Cordelia Fine, a researcher at Melbourne University, found no major neurological differences between the sexes, and that differences in male and female ability are actually due to socialisation, like gender roles.

Therefore, let us not focus too much on exactly how males and females are different because sexuality is not just about being different. Sharing a common humanity, males and females are more similar than different. Actually, male and female

God’s image Gen 1:26 states that God made mankind in His image, so being male and female is God’s image. According to Ray Anderson, human sexuality reflects the differentiation within the Godhead where there is equality and relationship. So, though different, both male and female are made equally in God’s image.

Both share a common need for intimacy, for love and for touch because as sexual beings, we are created for relationships.

We long for intimacy which entails a deep emotional and intellectual knowing of another and the disclosure of self so as to be known in the same manner.

The ultimate intimate relationship is the marriage relationship culminating in sexual union, the epitome of the giving and receiving in a mutually interdependent relationship. The desiring, enjoying and relating to a life-long partner is something sacred in itself. Therefore, if sexual intercourse becomes merely a means for meeting sexual urges and lacks the deep knowing and being known that it symbolises, it dehumanises the persons involved.

Sadly, the world in its pursuit for freedom of sexual expression creates an environment where people become vulnerable to being debased and prostitutes detach themselves emotionally so as to be able to use their bodies as objects for gain.

However, this sexual union within marriage is only a fraction of our whole life. Karl Barth said, “Man never exists as such, but always as the human male or the human female”. So, in all our relationships, we can only relate to each other as we are, either male or female. Ultimately, sexuality is also about experiencing self as male and female persons in our relationships.

It begins from childhood as children interact with their fathers and mothers.

Though often criticised, Freud’s theory of psychosexual development does enlighten us on the importance of a child being able to identify with the same-sex parent and having a positive and affirming relationship with both parents, with each having a

different impact on the development of the child.

Unfortunately, in our world today, relationships between male and females are highly romanticised and sexualised.

“Cupid’s arrow hits the young”, a recent article in the Sunday Star, reported that pubescent and pre-pubescent children in China are getting into romantic relationships and engaging in a host of inappropriate sexual behaviours. Judith and Jack Balswick in their book, Authentic Human Sexuality, mourn that “When relationships are erotised, it becomes difficult for persons of the opposite sex to develop non-erotised friendships”.

Indeed.

Spirit and flesh It does not help that in Christian tradition, there is a prevailing negative and distorted view about sex and sexuality. Augustine, the famous theologian, influenced the church with the body-soul dualistic view of the human person. The spirit is good and the flesh is bad. Therefore the denial of bodily pleasure is spiritual. He also believed that sexual desire was deemed dangerous and sexual intercourse was disgusting.

Furthermore, this kind of thinking degrades women as they are considered the primary source of sexual temptation, valued as nothing more than an object for sex rather than a female person.

Vehemently, we need to throw out such horrible distortions and recover authentic sexuality as it is given by God. In order to do so, we must remember that God said His creation was good when He finished.

Sexuality was part of that creation and not the result of the fall. Male and female are equals though different, and destined to relate with each other.

Yes, let’s reclaim God’s given sexuality and relate to each other in purity as exhorted by Paul in 1 Tim 5:1-2. Men and women should be able to relate as male and female persons and not just only in a romantic and erotic manner. “In purity” means without hidden motives, and with respect and appropriate boundaries.

Young men, do not relate to young women in your community as potential wives but as female persons worthy of a person-to-person friendship. Young

women, do likewise. Let a man be able to develop a meaningful relationship and be able to compliment a woman without any underlying or further notion of romantic or sexual interest, and vice-versa.

At this point, it is important to note that what is considered sexually arousing is conditioned. Whether an external stimulus becomes erotic or sexually stimulating is learnt. This means that we can unlearn what had been wrongly programmed by the messages from the world and relearn our sexual responses based on our new and correct understanding of sex and sexuality.

It also highlights our responsibility to teach our young ones rightly. It may be difficult to fight popular culture and the media but if we do not voice out, they would have learned all about sex from the world and be conditioned in its ways.

Interestingly, though the Bible reveals little about being male and female, it has much to say about the right and wrong of sexual behaviours. God is explicit about His disdain for sexual immorality because it mars the sexuality He created. It had always intrigued me that people or society that are most repressed about sex seems to do the most ugly distortions to sex.

It would seem that the lack of a correct understanding and space for healthy expressions as sexual beings can lead to moral failings. So let us be open and embrace our sexuality, reclaiming the authentic sexual identity that we were created with and living its fullness through all our relationships while keeping the sanctity or preciousness of sex experienced fully in the context it is meant to be enjoyed, and openly make this known.

Evelyn Meng, formerly a staffworker with the Fellowship of Evangelical Students in Malaysia and Singapore, is now establishing her counselling and life coaching practice, and wants to be able to talk more openly about sex and such.

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I S S U E # 4 • VO L U M E 4 4 : 4 A S I A N B E A C O N Y OU T H W A L L h t t p : // w w w. f a c e b o o k . c o m /A s i a n B e a c o n

WEIRD LOVE

By Elizabeth Tai

Twilight may preach sexual abstinence, but its underlying message about love and relationships is disturbing. gentleman by insisting that he and Bella wed before they get between the sheets. Bella, being the thoroughly modern American teenager, chafes at such an old-fashioned attitude but eventually agrees, though it is hotly debated whether she agreed to marry him only to have sex with him.

No, the problem I have with Twilight is that it gives the wrong idea about love and relationships. Let me count the ways.

T wilight : B reaking

Dawn Part II may only be in cinemas in November, but everyone – fans and non-fans alike – are excited that Bella Swan and Edward Cullen are now the same temperature. (Translation for Twilight newbies: At the end of Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part I, Edward made Bella a vampire after she nearly died from giving birth to their child, Renesmee.)

The little glimpse we have of a newly-vampiric Bella in the just-released trailer reveals a beautiful, red-eyed lass who is stronger, faster and fiercely-protective of her vampire hybrid child.

Now, my problem with Twilight has never been the supernatural elements – the vampires or werewolves. I’ve always considered fantastic elements such as these a wonderful and creative way to convey truths, even godly ones.

And on the surface, Twilight seems to have parentapproved qualities. For one, Edward, stalker-ish tendencies aside, is actually quite the

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If you’re in love, your life will revolve around your other half – to the point of death

Forget about being individuals, Bella and Edward only need each other, right? Their identities, decisions and life are now one, and they will simply die without each other.

That may sound romantic on paper, but the couple makes a few decisions that make me glad I’m not their parents. For example, Edward and Bella melodramatically try to kill themselves in the The Twilight Saga: New Moon because they were separated. (Bella – because Edward left her;

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We don’t see that in Twilight because the Brady Bunch-like Cullen clan of vegetarian vampires is so content with their other halves that there are no fights. And this despite the emotional baggage each of them carries, since most came from violence-fueled backgrounds where they were either murdered, raped or forcibly turned into vampires. Now, they didn’t achieve this kind of harmony through therapy but because their soul mates “complete them”. Sure, Twilight is fantasy. But we’d like believable fantasy, please.

An adult falls instantly in love with... a baby

Edward –because he heard she was dead.) As painful as it will be, your life is still certainly worth living without your other half. Trust me.

Forget education, marriage is far more important!

In Breaking Dawn Part I, Bella is 18, the age to decide what career you’d like to have, what college to attend … but Bella prefers to get married. Just why, we’re not really sure, except that Bella really, really loves Edward or, as some argue, wants to sleep with him. (Dear friends – one of the worst reasons to marry.)

In the Twilight universe, marriage, it would seem, is the most desirable goal for a woman to attain.

Sad, as women had fought for centuries to have a decent education.

The oddest thing about this is that her father – a supposedly down-to-earth and rational law enforcement officer who has probably seen his share of scams,

scandals and serial killer cases – does not object to this hurried marriage to a man he barely knows.

The way they handle their sex lives

Bella’s honeymoon night was “tumultuous”, to say the least. Edward was horrified that he left painful bruises on her but Bella is okay about it. So, what does he do about it? He sleeps alone, despite her pleas. Someone, get them a marriage counselor!

Happiness and fulfillment come in finding the right mate

I hate to burst this bubble for you, but marriage is often the beginning of many problems.

When two individuals meet, they go through the honeymoon phase where they wine, dine and romance each other. Then, they get married and discover that their partners have annoying habits or relational problems that will drive them up the wall.

a S I A N B E AC O N YO U T H WA L L

In Breaking Dawn Part I, Jacob was about to kill an hours-old Renesmee when he suddenly “imprints” on her. (Werewolves can fall in love against their will, which is really unfair for the said werewolf, if you ask me.) From then on, he’s lovingly devoted to her. Sure, Renesmee is so far from marriageable age that it’s not funny, but hey, at least she grows up really, really fast. There’re so many things wrong with this scene that I don’t know where to begin.

The cure for unrequited love is a quick replacement. How about someone like your ex?

Jacob loves Bella. Sadly, Bella loves Edward. (Sorry, Team Jacob!) How interesting it would’ve been if Jacob had gone on a journey to slowly discover that he doesn’t need Bella to be “complete”. Instead, Meyer hands Renesmee to Jacob like she’s some kind of backup mate. Sure, she isn’t Bella, but she has half her genes! Isn’t that awesome?

Shudder. dc

10 Marriage Myths

By Joshua Lee

How much do we know about marriage? For most of us, it’s as much as what we read from gossip mags, soap operas and even horoscopes. What follows is my humble attempt to explode some of the myths in the hope that you’ll think carefully before you take that plunge so that your marital journey will be as blissful as it can be. You can thank me later.  Myth 1: Living together before marriage (cohabitation) is a good rehearsal for the real thing Uh-uh. Surprisingly, it is one of marriage’s biggest wreckers. Recent

sociological data has proven that marriages that started off with this arrangement are 600% more bound to fail. Why? It’s like opening a present long before your birthday. There’s nothing to really enjoy on the day of your birthday.

‘Warms ups’ are important. Dating and knowing each other is important, but don’t overdo it. Forget the overseas trips together and all that... save it for the marriage.

In fact, I sincerely believe that couples spend way too much time together and overcommunicate during the courtship days such that by the time they finally settle down, they’re left with nothing much to say to each other except when they quarrel.

Don’t kid ourselves; we all run on the Windows operating system named ‘WIIFM’ – What’s In It For Me? To make things worse, popular culture, the media, consumerism and hedonism have propagated this self-serving message. Which is why when we wake up one day and realise that the marriage or our partner no longer meets our needs (which will almost certainly happen), we want out.

Myth 2: I mean “I do” when I say “I do”

The perfect gown, the glittering diamond ring, the cute flower girls, the ostentatious deco, coronation, segregation and perspiration...

C’mon, without content or substance, this is like dressing up really well for a corporate presentation or having a glorious window display with an empty storeroom.

Myth 3: The wedding is everything

Nah, not true. This is false utopia-ism. There will be days and even weeks when you wake up feeling absolutely numb towards your partner. There will be dry seasons where you’ll feel abandoned and all alone. There will be chapters of constant quarrels and sharp disagreements. There will be episodes when a rival threatens the marriage. The rival may be a new job, a new friend, a new hobby, even a new child or gasp… a new iPhone. But hold on. Wait. Love is patient. The winds of love will blow again... and soon if you will yourself to love. Then, you’ll find new heights of lovey-dovey love.

Myth 4: Marriage should remain lovey-dovey or something is wrong

What? Born yesterday ah?! This is reality. We’re all fallible. Going into marriage and having lofty thoughts that our partners won’t cheat is a recipe for disaster. In fact, a good percentage of us go into marriage thinking we ourselves won’t cheat. We must always hope that our partners (or ourselves) won’t cheat, yet to always realise that it can happen, and that when it happens, is not the end of it all. I’ve seen many cases where things repair between estranged couple and they become stronger and closer than ever before.

Myth 5: My marriage is not like others. My partner won’t cheat

Marriage is like a child.

It evolves, changes and takes new forms. We unconditionally love the “child” every step of the way, at every station of his/her life, regardless whether the child turns out to be a rascal or not. Similarly, as we’re exposed to different environments and circle of influences, our values, goals, choice of friends and perception change. continues on Bottom line: Expect your spouse to change…and love him/her throughout. the next page Myth 6: The person we marry is the same person for life

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Myth 7: Just because we love each other, we’ll agree on most things No way; the mind part takes years to come together

because it’s the marriage of two legacies which have had at least 25 years of thought patterns independent from each other. And even after a lifetime, there are some things that both parties will never agree on. NO WAY! As someone once said, “Agree to disagree.”

Sorry to, uh, burst your bubble here but sex is way over-rated. Never ever use sex as a yardstick for your marriage. For sure there will be wonderfully uplifting moments of tenderness and pleasure but the worst thing we can do is set crazy sexual ‘standards’ which will create problems in your marriage.

Myth 8: Great sex equals great marriage

Remember this... feelings are our ‘frenemy’ – friend and enemy. They amplify our positive experiences, but also betray our common sense. If we really follow our feelings and natural instincts, we’ll all be rabbits.

If we follow our heart’s true passion, rightly or wrongly without Myth 9: Love is spelled “feeeeeeeeling.”

holding things in context, we’d be like a volcano that says, “I think I’ll have an explosive time and blow up.” True love is rock solid and stable. Love is contentment. It is selfless. It is sacrificial.

Myth 10: Nice to touch, nice to hold, once broken, considered sold Nowadays, everything is a test run. Easy

come, easy go. But I’ve seen many marriages that work and many that didn’t; I’ve seen my own nearly wrecked to pieces and I’ve seen my own fly on cloud 9... and my conclusion is this... NOTHING IS BEYOND REPAIR! All said, the ultimate marriage wrecker is this: Hardness of heart and pure stubbornness. The only antidote is forgiveness. Forgiveness releases you from all the injustice, broken promises and fragmented trust. Forgiveness will also go further to heal. I’ve come to learn that time alone does not heal. You need active and continuous engagement in forgiving each other. Pray to God above for His healing touch, and then like kids, move on and live life all over again. dc

Is Education a Game Show or a Reality Show?

M ost

students prefer

multiple-choice questions in exams. It’s easier to memorise answers than to think. That’s why when Form 4 comes around, there is some panic because suddenly, they have to write actual paragraphs for the answer! How? The Malaysian method: Memorise la!

Seriously, this is one of the biggest problems in our education system.

Everybody is memorising, very few are learning, and some are simply guessing.

It’s like our system is preparing our students to be game show experts when in the real world, the skills required to succeed are usually like those in reality show scenarios. Compare: GAME show: • general knowledge/trivia • guessing • luck • fastest to the timer • individual memory

• •

abstract and 'useless' information ‘closed book’, etc.

REALITY show: • people skills • organisational/ managerial skills • planning/forward-looking • negotiation/persuasion • relationship-building • conflict management, ‘open book’, emotional management, etc.

Here’s the problem again: To succeed in any job, the skills students need are usually taken from reality shows. We need to work well with people, listen, negotiate, compromise, etc. But, aiyo, our national education pushes everyone to become experts in game show skills.

C’mon, in real life, we cannot check our textbooks meh? In real life, doesn’t everybody have access to tons of information? So why

do we have to rely so much on memory in exams?

So the question is: As students, what are you preparing yourself towards?

As I suggested to a group of Form 3 teens, it might be better to reduce the number of subjects taken for SPM and spend the time/effort doing, say, free-of-charge internship at a local bank or corporation. Maybe you and your friends can go together for conferences or seminars that teach you, for example, how to ‘read’ people psychologically or how to improve your bargaining skills, or even how to manage your money better (something schools hardly teach, right?).

Isn’t this similar when it comes to our relationship with God? Memorising chunks of Bible verses is absolutely pointless if these verses are not painstakingly applied in demanding situations, tested out in uncertain scenarios and

By Alwyn Lau

riskily ‘held on to’ when we’ve got nothing else to cling on.

Walking with God is about finding our way around when we can no longer feel His presence; it’s about praying or serving when we are simply not motivated to.

And such ‘learning’ happens as a process of perseverance and even some pain – just like the Amazing Race!

Our spiritual lives will dry up if all we do is remember things and ‘vomit’ them out, if we treat it purely as a mental game; likewise, our learning journey will be a bore if we don’t see it as a wholly-embodied thing, i.e. something we live and laugh and dance and work with every day.

A good education isn’t about the number of A’s one scores at the end of school.

It’s the portfolio of skills one has mastered for use at the start of the next phase of education – life itself. dc

a S I A N B E AC O N YO U T H WA L L

feature

“ G one are the days when o u r teenagers were threatened by dr u gs and cigarettes . ”

Rescued by an Angel A man survives a harrowing kidnapping ordeal and is today living according to God’s call on his life. DAMIEN CHUA and his wife LAI MEI YING, who both run a homeschool centre in Petaling Jaya, share their story with THO WERN MING. At around 4pm, on Aug 4, 2004,

Chua stopped at a petrol station at Desa Sri Hartamas, Kuala Lumpur. As he was refueling his car, two men in their 20s, approached him, claiming to be the station’s attendants and offered to help him. Chua declined and they began to chat with him casually.

Though he was suspicious, Chua merely assumed they were trying to sell him stolen goods. As he prepared to leave, one of them brandished a machete he had hidden inside his shirt. They then forced Chua into the front passenger’s seat and once they were inside the car, the driver made a deep cut on Chua’s forearm as a warning to him. The accomplice sitting behind Chua ordered him to stretch his right hand to the back, and held a knife to his wrist to prevent any escape attempt. All this happened within seconds before they sped away.

During the ordeal, Chua was constantly slapped and his wallet, ATM card and watch seized. Not satisfied with the loot, the kidnappers took him to the nearest bank to withdraw money from an ATM machine. One of them said, “Hari ini you mesti mati punya” (Malay for ‘Today, you must die’).

Fearful for his life, Chua cried out to God in his heart, “Lord, only You know what’s happening to me, so only You can help me.”

As he prayed, a supernatural peace came upon him and he began praying in tongues quietly. After driving for 10 minutes, they stopped at the Duta-Segambut roundabout (now a flyover towards Sentul) amidst heavy traffic.

An angel appears The driver was planning to go straight ahead to Jalan Ipoh, and then to Sentul, but suddenly, a tall and slim stranger dressed

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Lai and Chua... helping students to understand their purpose.

in a short-sleeved shirt, appeared out of nowhere. He opened the driver’s car door and spoke authoritatively, “Keluar sekarang (Malay for ‘Get out now’)!”

The driver slammed the door in panic and swerved left into the moving traffic on Jalan Kuching, instead of going straight. A high-speed drive ensued for a few minutes as the driver, shaken, zig-zagged through the traffic, throwing glances intermittently at the rear view mirror, expecting the stranger to give chase.

Believing that their escape would be in vain, the driver deliberately crashed the car into a concrete divider on the passenger’s side, hoping to kill Chua. They then exited the car and took off on foot.

Right at that moment, two police officers who were patrolling the highway, noticed

the kidnappers and gave chase. The police succeeded in nabbing one of them.

The impact of the crash had set the car on fire but incredibly, Chua survived with only a cut that was a few centimeters deep.

Unbeknownst to Chua, God was already working out His plan for him. First, He revealed to Chua that He had intervened in the situation to rescue him. Chua sensed something extraordinary had happened when the police informed him that the “good Samaritan” (who had opened the driver’s door) was not a plainclothes police officer. When asked to describe the “good Samaritan”, the kidnapper later gave a similar description to Chua’s, but added that the person was dressed completely in white.

The next day, a pastor who was Chua’s

acquaintance, told him that God had sent the angel to rescue him. After that, Chua attended a Christian conference where a fellow participant approached him with the same message.

When Chua got home from the conference, he thanked God for protecting his life. In the quietness of his bedroom, God revealed to Chua that He had prepared him for the kidnapping.

Chua asked, “How was I prepared? I was so fearful and traumatised even after the incident.” God reminded him of several occasions when He was preparing Chua for the ordeal ahead.

Six months earlier, Chua’s wife, Lai, had seen visions of her husband in a car accident and of him being wheeled into a hospital. Lai was led to pray for God’s hand of protection for her husband. Both visions came true on the day of the kidnapping.

The second occasion occurred two months before the kidnapping when God prompted a pastor to ask Chua to pray Psalm 91 over his life. “Although I did not know why he asked me to do it, I prayed that Psalm 91 would be appropriated into my life and my loved ones,” Chua said.

God told Chua: “See, my son, first, I prompted your loved ones to pray for you, and then I taught you to use Scripture to pray.” On hindsight, Chua saw that God was showing him that indeed, He saw all things, even the future.

“He knows when the devil is going to attack us and has given us the provision of protection and preparation for whatever the future holds. Every trial, trouble and temptation that comes to us is a testing ground for our lives so that He can stretch

our faith and mature us to be more like Christ,” Chua said.

Through the kidnapping, God revealed to Chua that He would fulfill his call to the ministry of preaching. At that time, Chua wasn’t confident of answering God’s call as he was shy and tended to get stage fright.

But when God calls, as Chua learned, He will equip, and soon, doors began to open for Chua to share his testimony. To date, Chua has spoken internationally, in hundreds of places, sharing his testimony wherever God leads him.

Education Mission That same year, God called Chua and Lai to serve Him in the education field. Except for Lai’s stint as a college lecturer, both had neither the experience nor the intention of becoming educators. Nevertheless, God spoke clearly to Lai through a vision where she saw children imprisoned behind bars.

God told her that there were children in a “spiritual prison” and that if something was not done about it, they would continue to be in captivity.

Lai and Chua sensed God directing them to start a homeschool centre but several years passed before they received confirmation of God’s plans for the facility.

Arrows Resource Centre opened in Ara Damansara, Petaling Jaya, in 2010. God guided them every step of the way, from choosing the location to hiring staff and recruiting students. Within a year, the centre grew from five to 130 students.

Running the centre has not been a bed of roses, especially in the area of ministering to the children. The students faced challenges that were particular to

young people growing up today. “Gone are the days when our teenagers were threatened by drugs and cigarettes. They are now facing attacks through issues of the heart, such as depression and hurt,” Lai observed. “Often, they think they’re not good enough because of rejection and a lack of love, and thus they become rebellious.”

Lai, whose passion for her calling has grown over the last two years, added, “The goal of the centre is to impact the lives of the students and get them to understand their purpose.”

She attributed the children’s struggles to their feeling neglected by their parents.

“Many feel a lack of love because their parents have no choice but to work long hours,” she said. The teachers and counsellors therefore spend time praying with the students and talking to them, and they see the Holy Spirit working in their lives.”

“When the Holy Spirit comes into their hearts, a lot of repair work is done and they start respecting and submitting to their teachers.”

Lai and Chua currently serve as the school’s directors, with Lai teaching while Chua oversees pastoral care for the children.

Asked about their plans for the centre, Lai replied that the only plan they have was for the centre to run for a long time.

Previously, she would meticulously map out her plans for the future but she doesn’t do this anymore because “God does not adhere to our plans”.

“My plans have been thrown out of the window too often enough, so we have learned to stop planning until we hear from God,” Lai chuckled. Instead, she and Chua focus on doing their best with what God has called them to do.

Chua’s kidnapping may have been a reluctant adventure but it has led him to the adventure he now enjoys with his wife.

They both look forward to what God has in store for them!

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“ I t was like somebody had t u rned on the light in a dark room . ”

Miracles at Sunbeams

By SY Lim

Bringing healing to the hurting… Sunbeams founder and Chairman Alvin Tan and his many ‘children’.

Miracles happen at Sunbeams – a

home for 122 underprivileged children, including orphans and abandoned kids.

“In the early days, there were times when my centre manager would say we didn’t have enough money for food or [the] staff ’s salary. Each time, I would just say, ‘Let’s pray’. We did, and as always, God would come through for us,” recalled Alvin Tan, the founder and chairman of Yayasan Sunbeams Homes (Sunbeams).

“Sometimes it was a cheque in the mail for just the right amount. Other times, it was bags of rice or other necessities delivered to our doorstep. On a few occasions, people rang our doorbell to pass us a roll of cash – just enough to cover our expenses.”

It’s easy to tear up while listening to

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Tan share about the many miracles at Sunbeams, and how God has transformed his life. This is a man who has lived a life of unwavering faith, depending entirely on his Heavenly Father to provide for the home’s needs, and obediently following the path God has charted for him.

Persistent Christians Tan had a staunch Taoist upbringing where he regularly followed his mother to the temple to perform religious rites and rituals. Even after marriage, Taoism played a significant role in his life. Superstitious and fearful, he carried amulets and little statues wherever he went, thinking they would protect him.

His conversion was therefore a slow

and long process, sparked by an incident, which shook his trust in his Taoist beliefs.

“Soon after marriage, my wife, Lucy, and I went for a short holiday in Kuala Selangor.

We stayed at a small rest house. As usual, I brought along a few small statues, which I placed all over the house. From the start, we felt uncomfortable but we brushed away the feeling, believing the idols would ward off any ‘bad spirits’.

“On our first night, while we were both sound asleep, I suddenly got up and strangled my wife. Fortunately, she woke up and managed to kick me away, waking me up as well. To this day, I cannot remember strangling her, only that she kicked me and [that] I woke up,” he said.

The next morning, they packed their

bags and checked into a hotel. That incident, however, caused him to doubt the “gods” he had so devotedly followed all these years.

Looking back, Tan now sees how God had pursued them. Tan and Lucy were senior secondary school teachers when a training course, for young teachers, led three interstate trainees to stay at their house. One of them was a Christian who shared her faith boldly with them.

“I used to have a terrible temper and would get worked up easily. I was very egoistic and argued with the trainee as she shared the gospel with us.” Nevertheless, the young trainee had planted a seed of faith in them.

Tan and Lucy were also friends with a Christian couple who would regularly invite them to their house for dinner. “Whenever we were at their home, they would include the gospel in our conversations. To be honest, I found it annoying. But they were so nice, and their food so delicious, that we kept going back,” he laughed.

“My heart was hard towards the gospel but they later told us that despite our resistance, they persistently prayed for our salvation,” Tan admitted.

Two years after the trainee teacher shared the gospel with them, and after numerous conversations about God with the Christian couple and other Christian friends, it “just clicked” for him one day, Tan said, “We were having yet another discussion about God with our Christian friends. By that time, I was more receptive.

Suddenly, it dawned upon me that this was the truth. It was like somebody had turned on the light in a dark room.”

Their friends prayed with them to become Christians, after which Tan felt a huge load lift off his shoulders.

“I don’t know how to describe the feeling, only that I felt a joy and peace I had never known before,” he said.

Starting the home Tan and Lucy were in their late 30s when they became Christians in 1976. Filled with excitement in their new-found faith, they attended Bible study regularly. As they grew in knowledge and boldness, they began sharing the gospel with their students and Tan even became advisor to Cochrane High

School ’s Christian Fellowship.

The couple also served in their church’s children’s, youth and young adults’ ministries. “God put in us so much compassion for young people. We also served the poor in squatter areas.

Throughout all this, God was training us for the work He would later give us,” Tan said.

One day, a friend brought the couple on a visit to an orphanage. “When we saw the orphans, we were overcome with compassion for them. We just knew this was what the Lord was calling us to do.

But at the same time, we had doubts as we were still working as teachers. We struggled with the thought of suddenly resigning and leaving the life we knew,” Tan added.

However, Tan and his wife began experiencing problems at work, which eventually resulted in their early retirement.

“We were side-stepped for a promotion we were both due for. But more than that, we had such an unrest in our hearts – like it did not feel right anymore.”

In 1993, Tan and Lucy took a leap of faith to do the great work God had in store for them. “Of course, it was not a bed of roses. Many people told us we were stupid.

They said, ‘You have no children and now you are about to spend all your savings.

Who will take care of you when you are old?’ Clinging on to God and His promises was all we could do,” Tan shared.

With their savings, Tan and Lucy bought a house in 1995 where they began their ministry to reach out to underprivileged children. While praying about the name to give the home, a verse came to Tan’s mind from the book of Malachi, “But for you who revere my name, the sun of righteousness will rise with healing in its wings”.

“We decided to call our ministry ‘Sunbeams’ because the Lord was going to use it to bring healing to the hurting,” Tan said.

They started by taking in two young boys, brothers, who were found sleeping on the streets. In no time, the home expanded into what it is today – a safe haven for underprivileged children in Kuala Lumpur, Selangor and Melaka.

“Among the biggest hurdles we’ve had to overcome was doubt. God had instructed me not to ask anyone for money.

‘I am your Provider and I will provide’, He had said. But there were times when I did not trust Him enough, and had to learn the hard way.”

Tan recalled a time when money was especially tight. Someone then suggested he get a patron who could help with the resources. “I seriously considered it.

One day, while taking an evening walk, I suddenly heard a very loud voice say to me, ‘Who is your Patron? Who is your Provider?’ I went home and repented.”

Despite his lack of faith, God has never failed to keep His promise to provide.

Miracles, Tan said, happened regularly. In fact, Sunbeams has been so well provided that it is able to share with others. For example, an ex-student who became a Christian, has been regularly sending the home four lorry-loads of rice. “We take whatever we need and give the rest to Orang Asli groups, welfare organisations and some poor families in the area,” Tan enthused.

The Promised L and Lucy – Tan’s wife, helper, confidante and best friend – passed away last year.

While he misses her, he has found great comfort through the Holy Spirit and this has strengthened his faith in and obedience to God. “He still has a lot for me to do,” Tan believed.

In the pipeline are plans to renovate Sunbeams’ three recently-purchased houses in Kuala Lumpur into three-storey buildings that will house 100 children.

However, this is just a stepping stone to “The Promised Land” – a five-acre land housing a multipurpose complex that will include a children’s home, day care centre, food distribution centres, a community clinic and a centre that provides support services for single parents and senior citizens.

“I know it is far-fetched, but I believe it’s possible. After all I’ve been through, my response towards God now is ‘Just tell me what to do, and I will do it for You’. If He has a plan, and we are obedient, He will use us to bring it to completion,” he concluded.

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“ F aith that cannot be tested cannot be tr u sted . ”

COWS, BOOKS AND OTHERS FOR NEEDY PASTORS

By Wong King Wai

Isaac Yim, 65, has just returned from

an overseas trip and though tired from the long journey, he was eager to share about the ministry he leads, Friends of Pastors International (FOPI).

“After retiring in 2002, I started Friends of Pastors International to help pastors and leaders in remote and poor places in the Asian Pacific region,” says Yim, who has been in full-time ministry for over 40 years – as pastor in small town and rural churches in Tawau, Sabah, and larger urban churches such as Baguio Chinese Baptist, Philippines and First Baptist Church (now Pantai Baptist Church) in Petaling Jaya.

FOPI was founded on 2 Timothy 4:9-22 where Paul beseeched Timothy, his young protégé and spiritual son, to visit him.

“Paul was lonely and was looking for his spiritual son [Timothy] to go to be with him,” explains Yim. “He also asked Timothy to bring Mark, the cloak he left in Troas and his parchments. My ministry is based on this passage, where I am more like Timothy to come alongside lonely pastors, workers or leaders who need a friend.”

Yim does this in three ways, which he plans each year. The first is to meet pastors, either individually for counseling and encouragement or in small and large groups for teaching purposes.

Secondly, he gives out one-time gifts or seed-money to help needy pastors financially. “This could be in a form of a cow, a pig or a motor vehicle, anything that could augment their income,” he says. “I go mostly to poor remote places because 40 years ago, I started my ministry in the jungles of East Malaysia, working with tribal people based in Tawau. This is still my first love.”

The third approach is to give books to pastors in their language and at their reading level. “Most places I go to, the pastors have only high-school education,” Yim explains.

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Cows for poor pastors One of FOPI’s early projects was getting funds to give cows to needy pastors in Sikkim, India.

“We provided seed money for sustainable and renewable projects, like ‘sending’ a cow each to 55 pastors’ families in Sikkim,” he says. Sikkim is a landlocked Indian state located in the Himalayan Mountains. The state borders Nepal to the west, Tibet to the north and east, Bhutan to the southeast, and the state of West Bengal to the south. Yim noticed then that the area has grassy plains – the perfect living condition for cows.

Besides helping these pastors to be financially self-sufficient to do God’s work, he also wanted them to learn about giving back to God. “An objective of the Send a Cow project was to teach the pastors to tithe,” Yim explains.

“So on Sunday, they can tithe milk or money from the sale of the milk to the church or give to a poor family.”

Reports from his ministry partner in Sikkim reveal that the families have continued to be faithful in tithing to the church thus far.

Another project is at Trapeng Tasom Village in Takeo Province, Cambodia, where Yim set up a farm project which aimed to train 12 preacher-farmers to serve God each year and at the same time, equip them with farming skills.

Book projects also include printing copies of “One on One with God” study guides, which for 2012, Yim hopes to raise RM10,000 to print and donate to pastors, churches and teaching

centres in a restricted area.

The most recent project was a Pastors and Family Retreat, called Keeping Fresh and Finishing Well, in Siliguri, North-East India in March. “The retreat sought to provide rest, recreation and renewal for pastors and their families,” Yim explains.

“About 250 people attended. Last year, when we were planning the retreat, the budget was USD10,000 but the cost increased to USD15,000. Praise the Lord, we received this amount in full!”

Organising the projects is not a singular effort. Yim explains that he usually targets retirees and young college students to

partner him in his many projects and ministries.

“The retirees have time, experience and also financial resources; they are experts in their own field and they can easily take off to travel because their children are grown up,” explains Yim. “Young college students are more adventurous but they don’t have the funds, but the older ones do.”

When it comes to funding, Yim, does not canvas for financial assistance. “I strictly don’t raise funds from the pulpit or ask individuals,” Yim asserts. “I will annually write out the projects I’m doing and pray to God that He will bring the funds. Because of my years of ministry, people know what I’m doing, that they will be moved by God to send funds.”

To ensure transparenc y and accountability, Yim channels all the monies to Balai Baptis Kalvari.

“All gifts given are used as designated,” Yim says. “No money is deducted for administration cost or for my travel.

Receipts are sent out via e-mail and hard copies upon request.”

sought after.

He shares his thoughts on how he deals with success, failure and crisis of faith.

“Success can be dangerous as it can go to your head. So, we need to learn to walk in humility and gratitude to God when we are successful. Continue to magnify Him and not brag about what we have done.”

As for failure, Yim feels it is a necessity in life. “It drives us to our knees to ask God what we can learn from the situation, where do we go from there, and ask for help to avoid making the same mistake in the future and not be bitter,” he says.

With regards to pastors struggling with their faith, he says that such moments drives us to God and helps us depend on Him. “Faith that cannot be tested cannot be trusted,” Yim says. “For those who are called to be pastors, they must be sure of their calling so that they can persevere during tough times.” He observes that the main causes that test one’s faith are trying circumstances and relationships with others.

He advises pastors to stay focused on God’s calling and not be distracted by other things. “The single-mindedness to pursue that calling will not only help us start well but also finish the race well,” he urges.

Yim also offers a fresh perspective to serving God. “If I look at the term ‘working for God’, it is like a bullock pulling the whole load of ministry by myself. But to ‘work with God’ is being yoked together with Christ and pulling the same load of ministry together,” he shares, adding that pastors need intimacy and holiness with God to keep their ministry afresh.

The journey of over 40 years has provided Yim with great insights to God’s workings. Married to Rosie Davi for 40 years with two daughters, Dr Carolyn and Jocelyn, his FOPI ministry has also been blessed with donors and partners who have journeyed with him to lands, such as India, China and Cambodia, to help pastors.

To find out more about Yim’s FOPI ministry, or if you are a pastor seeking counsel, e-mail Yim at isyim@hotmail.com.

Groomed for business Yim received his seminary education at the Malaysian Baptist Theological Seminary, Penang, in 1971 at the age of 25. Subsequently he trained at the Philippines Baptist Theological Seminary, the Asia Baptist Graduate Seminary and the Golden Gate Baptist Seminary in California, USA. He became a Christian at 8 through the guidance of his late father, Yim Wah Ooi, a lay preacher with a business in Ipoh.

Yim was groomed to take over the family business but God had other plans.

“At the age of 17, I had the calling to enter the ministry,” Yim recollects. “There were about five confirmations of this calling, which I heard at a National Baptist Youth Camp in Port Dickson in 1965.

There was confirmation from the Word, answered prayers, counsel from senior people, and circumstances surrounding my life at that time. The last confirmation was agreement from my father, who had groomed me to take over his business.”

Since then, Yim has journeyed with God through thick and thin. As such, his pastoral experience and insight is much

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“ . . . a growing u nity among the ch u rches . . . ”

Jubilee Joy

By Daniel Leong

For most of us in Peninsular Malaysia,

the country turns 55 on Aug 31 this year, but for our East Malaysian countrymen, Malaysia will be 50 on Sept 16 instead.

This is because on Sept 16, 1963, Sabah and Sarawak (as well as Singapore) came together with Malaya (Peninsular Malaysia) to form Malaysia.

Realising the importance of this date, particularly to the East Malaysians, Prime Minister Datuk Seri Najib Razak in 2009, declared Sept 16 “Malaysia Day” and assigned it as a national holiday.

Hence, this year has a special significance for East Malaysian Christians because according to Scripture, the 50 th year is the Year of Jubilee – a year that marks God’s special favour on the land.

To celebrate this auspicious occasion, Sabah churches have come together to organise a series of “Year of Jubilee” events that will culminate in a grand celebration at Penampang Stadium in Kota Kinabalu, Sabah, on Sept 16.

The events are facilitated by the Jubilee Team, a group of 16 pastors representing various churches and denominations, who have been putting great efforts to promote the Year of Jubilee to churches throughout Sabah, mobilising Christians to pray for God to shower the state with His blessings.

The Jubilee message has been widely disseminated via websites and printed materials, including a booklet entitled Arise Malaysia! Welcoming the Jubilee Year of Our Nation! 16th Sept 2012, written

by Jubilee Team member Pastor Daniel Chin. To enhance the celebrative mood, a theme song for the Year of Jubilee has been composed.

The Year of Jubilee celebration kicked off with a launching ceremony on July 23 at the Kadazandusun Cultural Association in Penampang, during which the National Evangelical Christian Fellowship Malaysia also launched its 40-day fast and prayer booklet entitled Hope of Jubilee to guide those who are participating in the annual 40-day fast and prayer, which begins on Aug 8 and ends on Sept 15.

From left: Pastor Alex Buguk ( treasurer ), Pastor Daniel Chin (committee ),Pastor Easter Golingi (committee),Pastor Chong Fatt Kong ( committee),Daniel Leong,Pastor Chin Chi Kiong (Advisor), Pastor Jerry Dusing (Advisor)

Great e xcitement At an interview with the Jubilee Team members at end-May, the pastors expressed great excitement as they sensed God’s Spirit moving in their midst. They concurred that there was a growing unity among the churches as they come together to organise the events and prepare for the grand Sept 16 celebration.

During the interview, Pastor Jerry Dusing, Pastor Easter Golingi and Pastor Alex Buguk, who represent most of the anak negeri (the indigenous people of Sabah), said they were full of anticipation at what God was about to do.

They believed God would set free the natives of Sabah, Sarawak and West Malaysia during this Year of Jubilee.

The majority of Christians in Sabah and Sarawak are natives and most of them have been deprived of their privileges and rights in many areas, including education, economics and religion.

According to the World Bank Economic Report of Malaysia released in November 2009-2010, Sabah and Sarawak were the poorest states in Malaysia. Sabah accounted for 10% of the whole country’s population, but the poor people of Sabah comprised

40% of the whole poor population of the country.

God is about to restore, set free, heal and revive the natives – the first people of the land who therefore have the status of the eldest son and who hold the key to authority and revival of the nation.

This is confirmed by the Chineseand English-speaking churches in Sabah who have received prophetic visions of the natives being the eldest son, as well as visions of the Year of Jubilee. The eldest son is the representative of the nation in the covenant with the land, so only they can stand in the frontline to regain the rights that they have lost.

To enter God’s destiny for Sabah, the natives’ status as the eldest son must first be restored. The Chinese and English churches must therefore teach their congregations to care, love and be committed to the country, and not be quick to send their children overseas or migrate because of the unsatisfactory environment.

At the interview, Pastors Steven Choon, Daniel Chin, Chin Chi Kiong and Chong Fatt Kong, who represent the English and Chinese churches, showed much excitement at God’s working. continued on page

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“ T he new spirit u ality is act u ally m u ch more sed u cti v e . . . ”

Dangers in the new world World-renowned apologist Ravi Zacharias shares with Asian Beacon how the 21st century has changed spiritual trends and the challenges it poses to the Christian faith. By Elizabeth Tai Zacharias does not think of himself as an intellect.

That’s a curious statement coming from a man described as “the greatest apologist of our time” by American evangelical leader Chuck Colson.

Zacharias was the main speaker at a four-day conference, Answering People’s Questions in the 21st Century, held at DUMC, Petaling Jaya, in May. Currently the Senior Research Fellow at Wycliffe Hall, Oxford University in Oxford, England, he has had a four-decade career speaking about Christ in over 50 countries and at prestigious universities such as Harvard, Princeton and Oxford University.

Zacharias has addressed governments, once speaking to delegates at the First Annual Prayer Breakfast for African Leaders held in Mozambique, and twice at the Annual Prayer Breakfast at the United Nations in New York, which marks the beginning of the UN General Assembly each year. He has also written 20 bestselling books, such as Can Man Live Without God (1994), Has Christianity Failed You? (2010) and the latest, Why Jesus?: Rediscovering His Truth in an Age of Mass Marketed Spirituality (2012).

“Even though we try to appeal to the intellect, we also make every effort to connect to the heart so that the message is covering the longest journey in life, which is from the head to the heart,” he explained.

During the conference, he spoke about how the forces of the 21st century – postmodernism, pluralism and globalisation – have brought about a new set of challenges for Christians, among them, New Spirituality. He took time out to answer questions posed by Asian Beacon.

How would you define New Spirituality?

This is a term given by many post-modern spiritualists – people who are interested with new age spirituality or post-modern spirituality. Truth is relative. Spirituality is not absolute. You find your own level and so on. For example, Elizabeth Lesser, in her book on spirituality, calls it the 21st century spirituality. I basically conclude after reading (books by people like Lesser and Eckhart Tolle) that it is a very clever way of being spiritual without believing in God. The new spirituality is actually much more seductive because it tells you that you can be spiritual without actually believing in God. You are the ultimate source of all divine reality ala Deepak Chopra: You’re God in a temporary state of self-forgetfulness.

Do you think Asia is as affected by New Spirituality?

The Westerners call it New Spirituality because they took ideas from the East and blended them into a Western, commercialised form. So, new terms came into vogue: karma, tantra, chakra ... They don’t really understand these terms but they use them and they sound very sophisticated.

But in the East, we’ve lived with New Spirituality for centuries. The idea is that you have to find your own level; spirituality is like an ocean, you’re a drop that has to be absorbed into the ocean of life.

Do Asians then face a different set of challenges from the West ?

They say the East is no longer the East, and the West no more the West. So I call it the “W-Eastern spirituality”. In Hindi, there’s a phrase that says if an Indian goes overseas for a week and start living as a Westerner, he will be described as a “local bird with a foreign walk”. It’s meant to be derisive but spirituality has become like that.

You go to the West, and you speak at Harvard, Cornell or any prestigious Ivy League school today and a large percentage of students attending are from the East.

They are very interested in spiritual

matters and of course Christianity has had a huge impact in the East as well. But the challenges the Eastern student may face is, how do they transport their values of their family and ethics in a culture where those are no longer held in the same esteem?

The merger of money, mobility, power, opportunity and the social network is presenting similar challenges to every young person. Everything that is sacred is up for grabs because modern man, thinking of themselves as progressive, still cannot define what human life means.

Sexuality, the sanctity of life, marriage – none of these is defined in sacred terms anymore. If you de-sacrelise life, sexuality, the home, marriage, relationships, then a profane terrain is what you walk on and that is very deadly to the future of the world, I believe.

How do you think Christianity could offer a solution to all that ?

The most important thing for Christianity is for the Christian to live in the way Christ wants us to live. Mahatma Gandhi used to say, “I like their Christ. I don’t like their Christians.” Unless we learn to live what we really believe, we will always be seen as just another belief system.

Christianity gives the most accurate description of the human heart. Our continued on page

Zacharias: “… live for Jesus and when people see the beauty of Christ in you, they will ask you questions and they will want the same results in their life.”

Passion for the truth Apologetics, the field which involves the defence and

clarification of the Christian faith, is something Ravi Zacharias has been passionate about since his conversion at 17 after surviving a suicide attempt.

While he was lying in the hospital bed, a man walked in and gave him a Bible, but he couldn’t hold it because his body was dehydrated from the poison that he had consumed. So, the man read him the Gospel of John, and he heard the words of Jesus: “Because I live, you shall live also”. The words cut into his heart.

“I told God, ‘Lift me out of this hospital bed and I shall leave no stone unturned in the pursuit of truth’,” he shared at the conference.

Hailing from India, Zacharias describes his country – the birthplace of Buddhism, Hinduism, Sikhism and Janism – as “intensely religious” and he grew up dwelling on such thoughts.

“When I committed my life to Jesus Christ, I had to answer the question, ‘Why Jesus? Why not any other way?’”

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At 20, he immigrated to Canada with his family and initially pursued a career in business management but later turned to speaking and writing. But the one defining moment which changed his life’s course was when Billy Graham invited him to address the world’s leading evangelists in Amsterdam when he was in his 30s.

“After speaking in Amsterdam, the world opened up. There were over 100 countries represented there and invitations started coming from all over the globe,” he said.

“I have this deep conviction in my life that God’s Word is true and Jesus Christ is the answer to humanity.” It is this conviction that keeps him doing what he does, though he had to be careful not to overtax his body. Still, there is a commitment Ravi holds to every day – he would not “let the sun go down” or hit the bed without opening the Word of God or talking to Him. “And it’s best not to begin the day without talking to Him too,” he said. “If that relationship is fouled up, everything else will be fouled up.” – By Elizabeth Tai a

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feature continued from page

“ W hen yo u ha v e no hope for the f u t u re , life is crippled . ”

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heart is depraved and no amount of evidence to the contrary seems to be able to convince the skeptic about it. Malcolm Muggeridge, the English journalist, put it this way: “The depravity of man is at once the most emperically verifiable fact while at the same time, it is the most intellectuality resistant.”

We would like to resist it. So, in the heart, in the way we live, all of humanity is best described in the words of Jesus: We are sinful, rebellious, proud and power prone. But at the same time the Christian message is unique in the offer of grace and forgiveness.

Salvation is not earned, it is not something that is merited. It is a gift of God. Christianity not only offers forgiveness but the resurrection from the dead and hope. Hope for the now, and hope for the future. Hope is one of the most important ingredients of life.

Today, I talked to a man who was held in a detention centre because he violated some laws. He said the most painful thing of being there was not knowing how long he was going to be there for. When you have no hope for the future, life is crippled. Christianity offers transformation and hope. And I think that’s why it’s unique. continued from page

National altar And to think that all these started when pastors from all over Malaysia gathered at Sutera Harbour Arena Court, Kota Kinabalu, on Sept 16, 2009, to build a national altar to symbolise the act of offering the nation to God. The Year of Jubilee celebration is based on Leviticus 25:10: “And you shall consecrate the fiftieth year, and proclaim liberty throughout all the land to all its inhabitants. It shall be a Jubilee for you; and each of you shall return to his possession, and each of you shall return to his family.”

In the Divine Calendar, the 49th year comes after seven cycles of Sabbatical a

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How do you think Malaysian Christians can live as representatives of Christ in Malaysia?

My mum used to have a proverb: “When you cut off a person’s nose, there’s no point giving him a rose to smell.”

You must respect another person’s belief, but…respect does not mean endorsement. It just means you do not violate that person’s right to believe whatever he does. Neither should the other person violate your belief, and this is where the dangers come in. The intolerance.

For me, to be a Christian, I should be able to witness for my faith. Jesus talked about Christians being salt and light. Salt penetrates. Light pervades; it spreads, and if I’m given the right to live as a Christian, I must also be given the privilege of testifying to who Jesus Christ is. But it has to be done gently and with kindness.

When the beauty of Christ is seen, He draws people unto Himself. Conversion is never an enforced thing. It is an attractive thing, the work of God. To the Malaysian Christian, I say live for Jesus and when people see the beauty of Christ in you, they will ask you questions and they will want the same results in their life.

years. The following 50th year is the Year of Jubilee. According to the Jubilee Team, there are four aspects to the Jubilee year.

Firstly, God’s people and the land must turn from toil to Sabbath (Lev. 25:8-12).

They must break free from the cycle of poverty and enter into a new season that is not only free from material poverty but also from poverty of mind and attitude.

The Year of Jubilee is ordained by God to bring blessing to the land and the people. The land and soil enter into a time of agricultural adjustment and rest.

During this time, no one is to toil and harvest. People must learn to trust God for providence and rest in the Lord.

Secondly, ownership of the land must be redeemed (Lev. 25:23-28). The land is God’s common property to the people.

In the Year of Jubilee, all previous losses including jobs, families, businesses, marriages, must be redeemed. Religious

freedom, political rights and economic prosperity must be recovered.

Thirdly, God wants His people to be free from debts. He wants to help His people break free from economic constraints so that there will be no more poor people among us. In the season of Jubilee, poor people can start afresh. Also, hurts among ethnic groups and individuals must be released by forgiveness and reconciliation.

Fourthly, God wants man to be set free from any injustice and oppression (Lev. 25:25-29, 39-46). Every individual is created in the image of God and is equal in His eyes. In the Year of Jubilee, man can be set free.

As our nation celebrates its 55th year of independence and 50th year of nationhood, let us join our brothers and sisters in Sabah and throughout Malaysia and pray for God’s blessings on our beloved land in our Year of Jubilee.

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They strongly believed that not only will the natives in Sabah be touched, the fire will spread from Sabah to Sarawak, and from Sarawak to West Malaysia, and finally the whole world.

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In your book , Jesus Among Other Gods , you stated that Christianity offers a coherent worldview. Why do you say that ?

There are ultimately four questions of life that have to be coherently answered: Where do I come from? What gives life meaning? How do I differentiate between good and evil? What happens to human beings when he or she dies?

A persuasive worldview must coherently answer these questions. And generally, truth has two angles to it: correspondence and coherence. Correspondence deals with individual questions. Coherence deals with the totality of the answers to the questions, not just individual questions and answers.

A world view may be correct in one aspect of those questions. For example, a worldview may say we are not here by accident but here by design, by the will of a creator. That may be correspondingly true to reality… but today, young people’s biggest struggle is the struggle for meaning. Life is just not coming together for them. There’s no skin to hold it together. That’s what I mean by coherence. That would pull your answers together. Not in a contradictory way but in a coherent way.

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feature

“ I still fall b u t I keep repenting and I keep impro v ing . ”

Power to change the world God gets things done not by might, not by Power (Graham Power!) but by His own Spirit Patrick and Joyce Chen, the pastors

of Perth-based international church, Zion Praise Harvest, met Graham Power in 2006 at a conference in Argentina. They heard about the Global Day of Prayer (GDOP) he started in South Africa, which has today spread to over 220 nations (400 million participants in 2010). Unbeknownst to Graham, they spread his vision in Perth – now hosting the yearly event at their church. GOLDIE CHONG from Asian Beacon had the privilege of interviewing Graham Power when he spoke at Zion Praise Harvest in May. AB: You shared that you founded GDOP in 2001 after you felt electricity running through your body one day, at 4am, and you received instructions from God to unite the churches in Africa for repentance and prayer. Then in 2006, you founded Unashamedly Ethical. How did this come about?

GP: It began in my hometown, Cape Town, where we were having the Harvest

Evangelism conference with Ed Silvoso.

Again, it was at 4am, when I felt electricity going through my body. I was completely drenched. My wife asked if I was OK. I said, “It is one of those things again.” The passage in 2 Chron. 7:14 has been the driving force of my life. God had started teaching us to “humble ourselves and pray” and now He wanted us to “turn from our wicked ways”.

Then He would “heal our land”. God’s instruction to “turn from our wicked ways” had to do with ethics, values and clean living.

This is the aim of the second movement, called Unashamedly Ethical.

AB: To be ethical in every situation is definitely not easy. What has been your experience?

GP: Our government prohibits people from taking money out of the country but individuals can take a certain amount in traveller’s cheques. So, over the years, I got friends and family to take enough to buy an apartment and a boat in Mallorca, Spain.

At a big conference in 2003, God impressed upon me to publicly declare that I was going to make this matter right. When I told my accountant, he was flabbergasted.

“It’s easy to take money out but impossible to bring it back in,” he said. Having made a public declaration, the press got wind of it and imagine my embarrassment when I saw the headlines on the newsstand:

(From left) Patrick, Joyce, Graham, Goldie, Tek (Goldie’s husband) and Tim Tay (Goldie’s friend) in Perth after the Sunday Worship Service in May.

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‘Christian businessman rapes country of millions’. Yet God is always faithful when we are righteous. A few weeks later, the government announced an amnesty for all who were guilty (of taking money out of the country).

God wanted to know if we were prepared to lay down our vacation home and then He permitted us to keep it through the amnesty. We as a family could know we had ‘cleaned up’ our affairs, including paying all taxes and doing our very best to ‘walk in the light’ with our business and private affairs. In 2006, God instructed me to start Unashamedly Ethical.

AB: The way you got the vision for Unashamedly Ethical was very unusual.

How did you know you had heard God? GP: We were at the Methodist Prayer Convention in Sibu, Malaysia, in 2011, where I was going to explain the vision. I told God, “I want to be sure that I heard you correctly. Give me a clear message to assure me. Let 50% of the participants sign the Unashamedly Ethical pledge form”.

At the end of the meeting, I challenged them to sign the pledge form. When we collected the forms, there were 1,884 signatures out of the 2,000 plus attendees.

That was a wonderful confirmation that I had heard God correctly.

AB: Looking at the 10 commitments on the pledge form, it seems very difficult to keep every one of them. Would it be hypocritical to sign then?

GP: After I myself had signed the form, it took two years for me to clean up my act. Signing it did not make me perfectly ethical; it meant I was committed to work towards it. It is a process. I am human. I still fall but I keep repenting and I keep improving.

AB: Many overseas students will be going back to challenging conditions when they graduate. How can they prepare themselves to face the challenges back home?

GP: Starting from your student days, get into a small group to pray and prepare

Global Day of Prayer gathering at Zion Praise Harvest, Perth, on 27 May.

yourselves for the issues you know you will face. Be supportive and accountable to one another. Check our website to see if there are any like-minded believers in your nation or town, and get in touch with them. Don’t be discouraged if you cannot make a stand every time. If you fail, repent, get up and improve the next time.

AB: If the boss tells me to do something unethical, what can I do?

GP: Firstly, you cannot do nothing. Ask God for wisdom. You can talk to the boss and tell him that you are a Christian, and that you have made a commitment to be ethical in your life. Ask him not to put you in that difficult position.

Two things could happen – either you get fired or he is impressed with your honesty. If you are fired and have to look for another job, and they ask you why you left your previous one, your answer will tell them you are an ethical person. I know of a case where a person who made an ethical stand was promoted as the manager of another division because his bosses were so impressed with him.

My secretary prays daily for me.

Whenever I am out of my office, she would

anoint my desk and door with oil, and pray.

If I had known it back then (pre-pledge days), I would have fired her. I was also not aware that my eldest son and daughter were praying for me. So, pray for your boss.

AB: What is your advice to those who see their parents doing unethical things?

GP: I know how difficult it is. On the one hand you love them and on the other, you see what they do is wrong. Pray for them as often as you can. Avoid being judgmental and let them know how much you love them. When there is opportunity, share your own view about what you believe. A seed that is planted may take years to bear fruit but I’ve seen it happen.

AB: Do you have any regrets?

GP: When I was 17 years old, I saw a film about Nicky Cruz (based on the book, The Cross and the Switchblade by David Wilkerson). Later, I went to hear Nicky Cruz speak at an event and there was an altar call. My heart prompted me to respond but I did not go forward. I only became a Christian at the age of 43.

My regret is that I didn’t commit my life to Christ earlier. But as I look back, I’m

thankful that God navigates our lives like a GPS – He always recalculates if we take a different route, eventually getting us back on track. I have made mistakes but God’s plan for me still went ahead. Even though I took many wrong turns, God recalculated and still took me to the same destination.

AB: You were a three-year-old Christian businessman and not a pastor, when you founded GDOP. Why do you think God choose you?

Perhaps God chose me precisely because I didn’t know too much about the Church and the politics surrounding Christian events!

When God told me to do something, I was simply obedient and did it. When I first told people that God had given me this vision, they didn’t want to support it. But I knew God had given it to me, and that I had to be obedient to His calling.

So I moved around, under and over the obstacles in my path. God rewarded my simple obedience with His power. That’s why I often tell people it is not by might, not by Power (Graham Power!) but by the Spirit of the Lord that things get done.

What God wants from each of us is not ability, but availability. a

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Dear chai hok

questions & answers hot from the word of god

The Morality Of Annihilating The Canaanites How can the God of love, whom Christians believe in, command the total annihilation of the Canaanites, including the extermination of women and children?

This is a hard question that always comes up

whenever I lecture on the book of Deuteronomy. Biblical scholar R. W. L. Moberly thinks God’s command to the ancient Israelites is “arguably the single most morally and theologically problematic aspect of the Old Testament”.

A ‘Christian’ Western clergyman even claimed that this is the first recorded case of an officially-sanctioned, religiously-motivated genocide.

As a result, there is a tendency among modern OT scholars to explain away God’s commandment by suggesting that His directive was simply an ideal to follow; a mere theological principle to shield the ancient Israelites from the contaminating influence of the Canaanites. Therefore, it was never intended to be obeyed in its literal sense.

Such attempts, however, require us to read away the commandment and not explain it.

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The Commandment The commandment in question is found in Deut. 7:1-5: 1 When Yhwh your God brings you into the land you are entering to possess and drives out before you many nations—the Hittites, Girgashites, Amorites, Canaanites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites, seven nations larger and stronger than you—2and when Yhwh your God has delivered them over to you and you have defeated them, then you must destroy them totally. Make no treaty with them, and show them no mercy. 3Do not intermarry with them. Do not give your daughters to their sons or take their daughters for your sons, 4for they will turn your sons away from following me to serve other gods, and Yhwh’s anger will burn against you and will quickly destroy you.

5 This is what you are to do to them: Break down their altars, smash their sacred stones, cut down their Asherah poles and burn their idols in the fire. (Modified NIV)

D ear chai hok : T he M orality O f A nnihilating T he C anaanites

The Hebrew verb used for the expression “destroy them totally” in verse 2 is charam (the noun is cherem).

It refers to the irrevocable and total destruction of all the spoils of war, including women and children. What cannot be destroyed (like gold) is to be appropriated to the sanctuary.

One commentator has questioned whether this commandment was ever intended to be taken literally: “Had the command here been carried out … the subsequent verses would be superfluous”. His point is that, if verse 2 was to be taken literally, and that the Israelites were to “destroy them totally”, who would be left for the Israelites to “make no treaty with, not intermarry and so on (verse 3)”? But this approach surely misses the whole point of the text!

As an analogy, picture your church’s Sunday School class on a picnic excursion one evening. When the children returned, a father, Mr Lim, asked the picnic chaperone Miss Soh, how the picnic went.

“Oh, it was a riot!” Miss Soh said. “As soon as the bus arrived at the park, half the children dashed off to the playground. The other half ran to the lake while the rest were fighting at the back of the bus.”

If half the children went to the playground, while the other half scooted off to the lake, who would be left to fight at the back of the bus?”

I think you would agree that we often resort to piling up logically inchoate expressions when we are excited and want to stress our point. This, naturally, was what ‘Miss Soh’ and Moses did. Rather than superfluous, the subsequent verses in the passage, I submit, stack on to stress the inequivocality of the commandment. And if any among Moses’ original audience had missed the point, Moses would later repeat the commandment in Deut. 20:16-18.

to pay them for whatever water and food they consumed there. With regards to Edom (Seir), for example, God commanded Moses (Deut. 2:4-6; see also verses 9 & 19): “Give the people these orders: “You are about to pass through the territory of your brothers the descendants of Esau, who live in Seir. They will be afraid of you, but be very careful. Do not provoke them to war, for I will not give you any of their land, not even enough to put your foot on. I have given Esau the hill country of Seir as his own. You are to pay them in silver for the food you eat and the water you drink.”

In Deut. 20, commands are set out regarding wars in other lands that Israel might find herself engaged in once she had settled in the land. In such cases, Israel was to offer terms of peace before she could execute fighting.

The cherem did not apply.

The Church often has a distorted view of the OT, seeing it as graceless. Anyone who pays careful attention to the biblical accounts soon discovers the amazing depths of human kindness that God demanded. For example, we know, and have come to expect that women who are the spoils of war, become sexual fodder for the victorious, invading soldiers.

Many Christians fail to notice in the biblical accounts that not only was a victorious Israelite soldier prohibited form raping the women, he also had to obey Deut. 21:1014, which dictates that if he found among the conquered a woman he liked, he had to give her a month to mourn the deaths in her family before he could marry her. And if he ever fell out of love with her, he is prohibited from selling her or treating her as a slave.

So then, the first thing we need to remember is that the cherem applied only to a specific historical context.

The cherem was not a licence for wanton butchery.

Understanding the Commandment in Conte x t We struggle to understand the commandment when we fail to see it in the historical context of ancient Israel. Here are five points to help you appreciate the commandment.

No Question of Innocence Secondly, the people upon whom the commandment was exercised, were not singled out arbitrarily so that the question of guilt or innocence does not arise. Most discussions about the cherem operate at an atomistic level and fail to take the larger context of the OT into consideration.

When Abraham arrived at Shechem from Ur and Haran, God promised him, “To your descendants I will give this land” (Gen. 12:7). But Abraham never saw the fulfilment of this promise. God had already informed him that his “descendants will be strangers in a country not their own, and they will be enslaved and mistreated four hundred years” (Gen. 15:13). However, God promised that “in the fourth generation your descendants will come back here, for the sin of the Amorites has not yet reached its full measure” (v16).

Not a Licence for Wanton Butchery Firstly, the commandment had a very specific historical context. The cherem was not an instrument that Israel could freely apply in any war she was engaged in. The cherem was to be applied only in Israel’s war against those dwelling in the land that God had promised to Israel.

In their journey from Egypt to Canaan, the Israelites had to pass through the lands of Edom, Moab, and Ammon. Not only did God bar Israel from conquering these lands, He instructed them not to harass them and

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“Our concern about “innocent� women and children fails so often to register this factor into consideration, that God knows who the sinners are...�

In Deuteronomy, Abraham’s descendants were back.

The sins of the Amorites had reached their full measure.

In the cherem exerted on them, therefore, the expiration of God’s forbearance towards them coincided and coalesced with the fulfillment of His promise to Abraham. Our concern about “innocent� women and children fails so often to register this factor into consideration, that God knows who the sinners are, and that He does not stretch out His hand in judgment without generous (at least four hundred years, in this case) restraint.

Sans Favouritism Thirdly, in ordering the commandment, God was not acting in unfair favouritism towards Israel and in unwarranted contempt towards other people. In His holiness, God exerted the same price on Israel when she behaved like the paganistic Canaanites. It is significant that the first time the idea of the cherem appears in the OT, it applied to the Israelites: “Whoever sacrifices to any god other than Yhwh must be destroyed� (Exo. 22:20 – though not apparent in English translations, the Hebrew construction of “must be destroyed� – yacharam bilti – is emphatic).

Here, the infamous Achan provides the classic illustration. Under the cherem, the spoils of Jericho were to be destroyed. In blatant violation of the edict, Achan kept back the beautiful robe he saw, some gold, and silver.

In doing so, he made himself party to those who originally owned those “devoted things�. That the book of Joshua expends eight out of the 22 Biblical occurrences of the word cherem on the Achan story tells us how seriously God viewed the transgression. Yes, even Israelites were not spared from the cherem if they sinned.

The Grace of Reprie ve Fourthly, the commandment did not preclude the possibility of grace and escape from such destruction.

Rahab, as a native of Jericho, would have been subject to the cherem. Because of her acknowledgement of Yhwh (“. . . for Yhwh your God is God in heaven above and on the earth below,� she had confessed) and her actions on behalf of the spies, however, she was spared ( Jos. 2:914). She may be the only exception but it is the exception that clearly proves the point that there is salvation for all who would keep faith with Yhwh – Jews or Gentiles.

The Lord of Life Finally, we need to see the commandment in the light of God as the Sovereign Lord of Life. The Bible is unequivocal that only the One who gives and can give life is the One who can demand for it to be taken away. That is the theological assumption underlining the command “You shall not kill�.

Precisely because Yhwh is the Lord of Life, He can authorise its taking, whether in a cherem or when particular divine commandments are transgressed, or when it suits His divine intention. He required it of Abraham, for example, when He commanded him to sacrifice his son Isaac. It says a great deal about our selective logic that we think of Abraham’s willingness to kill his son (yes, in the end he did not do it but the point is that he was prepared to) as an act of heroic faith while we think of the cherem as an act of reprehensible atrocity when the moral principle involved is the same. Only the Lord of life can demand for a life to be taken, and in the cases of the Canaanites and Isaac, He did.

Viewed in the larger context of the OT, we see that the cherem poses a moral problem only if we choose to read it selectively and refuse to acknowledge that Yhwh is the Sovereign Lord of Life as well as a Holy God who can do no wrong. We do well to model Abraham, who, even when he was troubled by the impending destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah, asked, “Far be it from you to do such a thing – to kill the righteous with the wicked, treating the righteous and the wicked alike. Far be it from you! Will not the Judge of all the earth do right?� (Gen. 18:25). If we have developed a biblical mind, we will know that He will do right. Yes, even when He ordered the cherem.

Chai Hok

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Low Chai Hok has served as a pastor and as an OT lecturer at Malaysia Bible Seminari. He spends most of his time now writing, and with his wife Lilian, playing host to Christians who need to go away to be quiet with the Lord at their home in Bukit Tinggi. Chai Hok’s published works include Questions of Faith (2nd edition on the way), GiftWorks and Deuteronomy (Asia Bible Commentary series, in press). He is currently working on The Good News of the Old Testament and The Story of Israel. He has a few nicknames, his favourite being “God’s Second Favourite Son�.

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Overwhelmed?

H MONEY MATTERS

O v erwhelmed ?

chafing as I grew more adept at falling off you e ve r f e lt B y R ajen D e v adas o n my board than staying on it; an aquarium as though you needed a vacation from your yours, underline the portions that speak visit that included gawking at live sharks vacation? Well, that’s most to you. We’ll revisit this Scripture behind glass; trekking in rain to reach swollen Hawaiian waterfalls; and riding a how I feel now as I begin segment later. this Asian Beacon column in the doctor’s For now, permit me to give you a brief helicopter captained by an ex-Blackhawk military pilot through some of the most waiting room at Columbia Asia – Seremban rundown of my last three or four weeks... private hospital.

My wife, Rachel, and I flew to Honolulu striking landscapes on God’s Earth; terrain My 90-year-old mother has to have on the Hawaiian island of Oahu in the that’s been showcased in blockbuster some tests run on her before we go in to middle of June. Our holiday there began movies, including Indiana Jones Raiders of see her physician. Today’s wait in the clean, with a one-week cruise aboard the 80,000+ the Lost Ark, Jurassic Park 1 and Pirates of comfortable waiting area of the hospital is tonne Norwegian Cruise Line (NCL) ship the Caribbean 4. (If you’re interested, you not tiring in the least. But the run-up to this Pride of America. It is the largest cruise ship may read more about our cruise ship at particular day has been intense. Frankly, I today sailing under the US flag. Rachel and http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pride_ am feeling worse for wear of_America.) because of too much After our week on the scurrying about, too little Hawaiian waters, we returned rest, and, sadly, way too to Honolulu where we spent little exercise! another five days on Oahu I’m sure you’ve gone catching up with friends, through such times. family and taking in fresh During such periods, I sights before flying home. draw great comfort and Then, almost immediately invaluable lessons in upon returning to Malaysia, I regeneration from Isaiah co-ran a two-day investment 40:28-31: process training programme “Do you not know? in Johor Bahru for MAAKL Have you not heard? The Mutual, my financial planning Lord is the everlasting principal company.

God, the Creator of the After that, I drove ends of the earth. He will into Singapore for two The Devadasons in near-freezing cold and 50-mile-an-hour winds at the top of not grow tired or weary, appointments and stayed a Haleakala Crater in Maui. and his understanding no night before driving back to one can fathom. He gives strength to the I had never before gone on a multi-day Seremban, where I live, to attend the final weary and increases the power of the weak. cruise. We harboured high hopes for this class of a course on the Book of Romans I Even youths grow tired and weary, and holiday and were not disappointed. have been taking for several months. The young men stumble and fall; but those who Throughout that week, we enjoyed next night was my interview cum induction hope in the Lord will renew their strength. Broadway quality musicals and comedy into Seremban’s 125-year-old Royal Sungei They will soar on wings like eagles; they acts at night and shore excursions on Maui, Ujong Club (RSUC). will run and not grow weary, they will walk Big Island Hawaii, and Kauai during the The following afternoon, Rachel and and not be faint.” day. Those memorable excursions to the I drove to Shah Alam for a wedding and I suggest you reread these four verses different islands included surfing lessons reception before heading to Pantai Medical and, if this issue of Asian Beacon is complete with ignominious bruising and Centre in Bangsar, Kuala Lumpur, to visit ave

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Rachel’s terminally-ill cousin. The next day, Sunday, was our church service in Seremban followed by another drive to KL for a wedding dinner.

At the end of the dinner we drove home.

I awoke at 5:30 am to write and email my overdue regular financial planning column for Malaysian Business magazine. We then received news that Rachel’s cousin had gone to be with Jesus at about 2:15 that morning. While dealing with our grief, we had to prepare to bring my mother to Columbia for her check-up!

So, as I mentioned, I have had to draw strength from Isaiah 40:28-31 to deal with all that’s been going on in my life recently.

It’s been said life is a marathon, not a sprint! With the Olympics being held this summer in London, it is easy to appreciate the difference between a two-hour-plus road race and a sub-10-second blast down an engineered track.

Most of my working hours are spent in my financial planning practice, which specialises in delivering retirement planning solutions to 35- to 50-year-old English speaking business owners and professionals. An educational definition I use with every current and potential client stems from the Certified Financial Planner Board of Standards (www.cfp.net): “Financial planning is the process of meeting your life goals through the proper management of your finances.”

Time out My deepening exhaustion over the last few weeks has – as I have mentioned – drawn me to the words of Isaiah in the Bible. Your schedule will be different but I am quite certain you have gone through and will, at some stage in the future again, go through phases when you feel the walls of existence

closing in on you with your body, soul and spirit overwhelmed by the sheer intensity of 21st century life.

When that happens, I believe three approaches taken in tandem can help us identify three helpful keys for dealing with the tsunami of challenges life sometimes hurls at us.

The first approach is to look to God to grant a sense of perspective about what is important and what isn’t… and to heed his Word.

Please re-read Isaiah 40:28-31. Pay close attention to those words and phrases I’ve underlined below: “28 Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.

29 He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.

30 Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; 31 but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”

The first key, therefore, is to wait on God through prayer and meditation.

The second approach is to pace yourself and to heed leadership guru Stephen Covey’s advice from his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change. (Note: Many people own a copy of this book but only few have finished reading it! I urge you to buy yourself a copy and read it.) Covey’s seventh habit is ‘sharpen the saw’, which boils down to incorporating a cycle of renewal in every key area of life.

So my advice: Battle life’s tendency to

overwhelm you by scheduling set times in your week to adequately rest – because sleep is NOT a waste of time; hydrate – because most of us live our lives in a perpetual state of dehydration; exercise – because our bodies are the only tools we have to accomplish our mission on Earth; pray – because prayer is our ultimate lifeline to God, the Source of all we have and all we are; save – because the money we earn today is required not only for now but later; and invest – because wise investment’s goal is to outpace inflation and provide for a brighter future while we’re here on Earth.

So the second key is to take proactive control of each key area of self-renewal. It won’t get done by accident!

The third approach is to get serious about financial planning, particularly with regard to children’s tertiary education needs, and personal retirement nest egg creation.

And the related third key is to manage your material affairs through sound financial planning principles to meet your present needs and to further your eternal goals by becoming a good steward of the temporal, financial, physical and cerebral resources God has blessed you with.

© 2012 Rajen Devadason

Rajen Devadason, CFP, is a Securities Commissionlicensed financial planner, professional speaker and author. Read his free articles at www.FreeCoolArticles. com; he may be contacted at rajen@RajenDevadason.com.

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Dear Goldie

Dear Goldie, I am very concerned about my old mother who’s in her 80s and is still not a Christian. She is in frail health and I’m afraid she may go any time. I have tried to talk to her about Jesus and she has gone to church several times, but I really don’t know how much she understands. What more shall I do?

Concerned

Anxious Over Family Members Dear Concerned, Let me tell you the story of my father. He is an eye specialist with many interests, one of which is studying religions. He spent a lot of time attending classes on Catholicism, Christianity, Buddhism, Taoism... even doing research on the supernatural.

He has visited Malaysia to find out about astral travel; the Philippines to see the faith healers who operated with their bare hands; Nepal to attend the world Buddhist conference; and the UK to sit in a séance with mediums. He was not looking to find a god to worship; he was only interested to learn about religions to satisfy his intellectual curiosity.

Ever since I became a Christian in my teens, I have been concerned about my family’s salvation. Over the years, I tried to share my faith. My father was always willing to listen. I found out years later that he had kept a letter I wrote to him, telling him of my desire for him to know Jesus. He went to church on special occasions and even took time off from his busy practice to attend the ladies’ group meetings when I spoke.

However when I asked if he wished to be baptised, he said he was already baptised.

It happened when he was a student in a Christian school as a boarder. The

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Christians went to church on Sunday and after church, they were allowed to go home.

So he got himself baptised so he could go to church and go home afterwards.

That was as far as Christianity meant to him. After my marriage and relocation to Malaysia and Australia, whenever I visited my parents in Hong Kong, I would find opportunity to share the gospel. I would suggest we read the Bible together and pray together. He joined in but never participated, saying, “You read. You pray”.

On different visits, I saw he had books on the various religious cults he had studied.

Dad was 86 when he became ill.

Thinking he was dying, Mom called all the children to return to Hong Kong. Again I asked Dad if he wanted to be baptised.

This time without hesitation, he agreed.

I baptised him (by sprinkling) as he was lying on the hospital bed.

The next day, I could see a change in his attitude, words and actions. He requested that we read the Bible together and pray together! And to the amazement of his doctors, he began to recover. In a few weeks, he was well enough to be discharged to fly to Perth.

He lived for almost another year with us, attending church, requesting frequently that we read the Bible and pray with him.

I asked him why of all the religions he

studied, he chose Christianity. He replied, “No other religion offered me what Jesus offered”.

So, persevere in praying for your mom.

Do not give up sharing and explaining even if she does not show any positive response.

The Holy Spirit is working. Jesus said we are to be witnesses but it is the Holy Spirit who will do the convicting.

While writing this, as if confirming it, a friend told me a similar story. It seemed she couldn’t break down the wall of resistance from her elderly mother in spite of repeated attempts to share the Good News with her. But one day out of the blue, of her own accord, her mother asked the visiting pastor if she could be baptised.

So it is not by persuasion, argument or pressure but by the gentle conviction of the Holy Spirit that your mother will understand and accept the Good News.

Goldie Do you have an issue you need advice on?

Write to Asian Beacon’s Goldie Chong at aboffice@asianbeacon.org for her godly counsel.

Selected questions may be featured in this column.

Asian Beacon

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