GIRL, DESTINY CALLS! SITHANDWEYINKOSI S SIVELA
GIRL, DESTINY CALLS CONTENTS
01
The room needs your opinion
03
Overcoming fear
06
Jump over the hurdles
09
Loving yourself
12
Your mistakes don't define you
14
Know your value and worth
16
It's about legacy
19
It's not a bed of roses
THE ROOM NEEDS YOUR OPINION
Sithandweyinkosi S Sivela
You have found yourself in a room full of great-minded men and you feel like shrinking back and zipping your mouth. The thought of airing your opinion and potentially getting it dissected with criticism gives you the comfort of being a spectator in the room. The truth has always stood that humanity is wandering in search of solutions. Most of the time, or should I say: at any time, if a donkey falls into a pit and a wanderer tries to get it out, it will not refuse to get out because the person is not its owner. The same goes for humans, if one finds themselves in a sinkhole or trapped in a car accident, they will not mind who is getting them out - they will not mind their race, their background, their gender, all they are looking for is a solution. The desperate, thirsty throat will never mind the hand that is watering it, it never examines the color of the hand, its wounds, and bruises; it only needs someone to quench its thirst.
Likewise, every thought and dream you have in that room concerning that issue, is a solution to a problem. You are a hand that is bringing the solution, you are quenching the world’s thirst. Look at the dry and thirsty world you are in and see yourself as the one carrying the water. Look at that family trapped in a car-wreck and its only you who can get them out. Saving them is what is the key, not the differences you have. You are carrying a seed within you that needs to be planted. The seed can only grow to be a fruitful tree only if its planted. It will never be productive on the shelf. Let it go, drop it in that soil and see the manifestation of your greatness. That intimidating room and atmosphere that you find yourself in is what your seed needs to grow, that soil and the atmosphere is more than perfect. You are a solution giver; you are problem solver. You are authentic. So go GDC|1 ahead and step out!
"WOMEN AND GIRLS ARE PROBLEM SOLVERS JUST PACKAGED DIFFERENTLY." -Sithandweyinkosi S Sivela
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OVERCOMING FEAR
Sithandweyinkosi S Sivela
If you meet the people, you call role models, they will tell you what it took for them to be there. I believe most of them, if not all, had to fight the monster called fear. It’s not abnormal at all to feel fear. Remember, life is a battlefield, a fight for your future, and fear is just one of the many foes you have to fight on your way to your destiny.
Fear will always be there, and sometimes you just have to know how to manage its volume, learn how to silence it slowly but surely; because if you say that you are waiting for a time when fear and doubt will disappear completely, that time may never come. In-fact, let that the fear and self-doubt, not diminish you but be your pillar when you get up there- I mean, let the fear, and doubt just serve as a reminder that
The many thoughts will definitely come,
nomatter how high you fly, you do have some
telling you why you are not enough, why
weaknesses. Let it serve as a reminder that if
you can never fit in a room. Destiny will
you find yourself on a horse, you got to
always be waiting, and fear will be there
remember those who are failing to get on a
destructing. Therefore, the way through our
donkey. Let it be a reminder that you have to
fear and fear of failure is maximizing our
give it your best to maintain the light that shines
forward motion. When you feel like slowing
in you: the achievement and the success is just
down, and the voices of fear and doubt are
the flame, and the flame needs oil to keep
getting louder and louder, it is time to
burning, and the oil is the character. Talent will
accelerate. On the other side of your fear is
surely take you places, but character will keep
another level, on the other side of that self-
you there. Therefore, the fear and doubt will
doubt is excellence, on the other side of that
not weaken you, but just serve as a reminder
fear is victory, on the other side of fear and
that nomatter how high you get, you sometimes
doubt are dreams fulfilled.
have weaknesses; and oftentimes high places are slippery places.
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Is it the fear of failure? Do not let the fear of failure rob you of the productivity of life. In fact, whatever the fail may be, turn it around and look at it as a life lesson. There are lessons one can learn from the failure that you could not have learnt from the success. Spread your wings, when you fall, you will find out that you can fly. Marian Williamson once said “Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are more powerful beyond measure. It is our light and not our darkness, that frightens us. We ask ourselves: “Who am I to be gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us. It is in everyone; it is not just in some of us. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same.” GIRL YOU ARE MORE THAN A CONQUEROR AND YOU ARE ENOUGH TO CHANGE THE ATMOSPHERE!
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"OUR GREATEST FEAR IS NOT THAT WE ARE INADEQUATE. OUR DEEPEST FEAR IS THAT WE ARE POWERFUL BEYOND MEASURE." -MARIANNE WILLIAMSON
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JUMP OVER THE HURDLES Sithandweyinkosi S Sivela
We often find excuses as to why we cannot step out into the destiny we were created for. However, the truth is that life is a race and all that we find in our lanes is not there by mistake. If the hurdles are set on your lane, it’s not a mistake, it’s part of your race; and if you have to win the race, you will not stop behind that hurdle, but jump over it. Each and every individual faces a unique hurdle, tailored specifically for their race. One may be higher for someone else and lower for someone else. To win, you have to study your own race, and the hurdles that it brings. Never make the mistake of looking to the left or the right to compare your hurdles to that of your neighbors’ cause you are all running a different race all together. One can find themselves having a background hurdle. Growing up in a broken family and perhaps have never really experienced true love and the warmth of a family. Another may be facing a physical hurdle; you may be experiencing one disability or the other. For another, it can be a poor financial background. For another, it could be a chronic sickness.
All the hurdles , both listed and unlisted above, are part of your race. It has been positioned as part of your race because your creator knows your ability and will never give you more than you can take. With that broken family background, why not turn it around and look at it as a refining process for your character development, and perhaps preparation for the journey ahead. Perhaps you faced abuse and all, how could you use that to change your story. Wine is made from the crushing of grapes-like the grapes, your best could only come from the crushing. Now that you got crushed, you are nothing but wine. Never allow the past to work against you-allow that crushing to bring the best in you. Remove bitterness from your vocabulary. You are the best version of yourself because of what you went through, you just have not tapped into that greatness. The principle of life is that nothing happens by chance, so when it happens, let it work out for your good. Your pain was just preparing you to be the storyteller, the story of which only you could tell.
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Is it physical disability? I believe the real you lives from the inside out. The outside environment can never limit the destinyoriented individual. I believe that true blindness is when one has both eyes and has no vision, true disability is when one has feet yet is wandering about, true deafness is when one has both ears wide open but cannot hear the destiny voice. Never let the world’s definition of normal derail you. The one voice you ought to listen to is the voice of purpose and destiny. If you know where you are going, nothing can stop you. You may look physically disabled but the destiny truth is that you were enabled for the race you are to run and the journey you ought to take to your destiny. In sickness, I understand this language and know the experience like the back of my hand. From a tender age of eight, I suffered from Chronic juvenile rheumatoid arthritis. Through my primary and high school years I battled with this giant. It was one of the worst nightmares I experienced in my life- it affected my social life as I could not play too hard, or eat like other children, work like everyone else. I would be bedridden almost every other week and could not even hold a pen to write. At some point my jaws dislocated and I could not eat.
My knee-cap dislocation was now a frequent experience. As a teenager, it really limited my life and I really felt like it robbed me of my life, it dug into my family’s finances in search of solution for my health. The experience was horrific. However, after accepting that I could not do that much of physical activity, I took time with myself to discover my purpose. I got to accept that I could not play netball, which I had tried; and I took time to study who it is that I am. Thankfully, I got to discover my passion for writing, speaking, entrepreneurship and the business world in general. Now the arthritis is part of my story and serves as inspiration for many that nothing can stop a person of vision. Actually, arthritis prepared me for the challenges I would meet ahead, one of which is anaemia. Arthritis taught me to appreciate myself beyond what I have or do not have, to accept my weaknesses yet not allow them to stop me. After my diagnosis of anaemia, and the experiences of its worst symptoms, I managed to get up everyday and chase my purpose. For when your purpose is clear, your life will have meaning. Victory starts when you accept your weaknesses, love yourself beyond your weaknesses, treasure yourself beyond the brokenness then maximize your forward motion. Your strengths are more than enough for the journey ahead of you. Learn from your weaknesses and turn them into strengths. GIRL, ONLY YOU CAN STOP YOU!
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GIRL, ONLY YOU CAN STOP YOU! GDC|8
LOVING YOURSELF Sithandweyinkosi S Sivela
One of the greatest battles girls around the world face is loving themselves. Looking at the mirror, most girls look at their enemy. Perhaps it’s the mistakes you have done, or the words you have heard about yourself, or the voices of the world forever echoing at the back of your mind. Here is a letter I wrote to myself, and to every other girl:
The first person you should tell the words “I love you” everyday is you. The make of your body is not a mistake. The skin you are in is more than precious. Your hair type and the colour of your eyes. Every little detail in your body is more than perfect. Even your imperfections are part of who you are. You are your own brand. There is a reason why Coca-Cola chose a contour bottle, it was to differentiate itself
Dear girl: Never allow the world to define you-coz your true definition lies with your creator, Never allow the world to place a price tag on you coz your true value lies from the inside out, Never listen to the world’s GPS coz your instinct will take you there, Most importantly, never wait for someone to tell you this before you tell you: “You are beautiful, you are strong, you are invincible, you are great, and above all-I LOVE YOU!”
from the rest of the market. You are not a mistake; you are unique in your own way. Every other thing you may find on this earth is there to compliment the beauty that you already bear. When you wear makeup, you are complimenting the beauty that you already carry. You are the piece of art, the vessel of honor, and all the other things you may have are accessories to the main beauty, which is you. GDC|9
If you learn to speak beauty over yourself, and how precious you are, whatever happens, it will never take your joy because your beauty overflows from the inside out. When you work on that body, do it with love, acceptance and know what precious of a vessel you are. Accept the cracks that it may have, every piece of pottery is prone to breakage but the potter knows how to make the most from the cracks. There is no formula in life, each of us are more than different. Take the cracks, learn from them, repair where you canand remember to do it with love. Be it your skin, your weight, your hair, there is no competition! You are your own brand, differentiate yourself, cause that’s what you are- different, unique and unreplaceable.
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Dear Never
allow
true Never you
Never
world
definition
allow
coz
the
your
listen
the
will Most you
importantly,
this
you
before
are
great,
and
lies
take
you
never tell
you
above
from
GPS
your
creator,
a
price
the
coz
tag
inside
your
on out,
instinct
there,
wait
for
you:
“You
are
you-coz
your
place
world’s
you
strong,
define
with
to
value
the
to
lies
world
true to
girl:
someone are
invincible,
all-I
LOVE
to
tell
beautiful, you
are
YOU!”
-S'tha Sivela
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YOUR MISTAKES DON'T DEFINE YOU
Sithandweyinkosi S Sivela
One of the reasons why we fail to progress in
We all have feet of clay at one point or the other. However, what separates the great and victorious icons we look up to today is that they did not fall
life is because we relive the past and live a life and stay where they fell. They got back up, of carryover. We carry our mistakes from
cleaned their wounds, dusted themselves, and
yesterday into today, the hurt and loss of
moved on.
years back into the present. Yesterday is history, today is opportunity and tomorrow is mystery. Never make the mistake of looking back except if it is for praise and lessons. When you find yourself nursing the darkness of yesterday, you are robbing yourself of the light that has to shine in your today.
There may be dark secrets or even public mistakes you have made in your life. Some of which you think you can never forgive yourself for. Stop there! The first person you have to forgive in life is yourself. Yes, you slipped and fell, and you are not the first person to fall. Pick yourself up girl. There is never and there never will be an uncorrectable mistake on this earth, as long as you are still breathing. A tick on that clock
Mistakes are correctable, and correction
is another chance to make it right. Therefore,
makes the future possible. All men and
never believe that you messed up big time and
women fall, but great ones get back up. No
you cannot correct it, cause as long as you are still
one can live a perfect life without mistakes.
on this earth, your race is not over yet. GET UP GIRL, DESTINY AWAITS. GDC|12
"Mistakes are correctable; and correction makes the future possible." -Tbj
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KNOW YOUR VALUE AND WORTH Sithandweyinkosi S Sivela
“…Dear girl Your life will run smoother if you stop waiting for the market to value you.
Remember, we said your mistakes can
Whether the demand for you is high or low;
never define you. Unlike some assets,
your price never changes.-YOU ARE
a car for example, which decreases in
INVALUABLE!”
value due to an accident. Girl, when
-S’tha S Sivela
you fall, your value never changes, your bruises don’t define you, they
Many at times, girls are looking for
simply add to your story. Your crown
validation from the world, from their
might tilt, but it still stays on your
surroundings, from those around them.
head, so fix your crown and stand tall.
The truth is, however, that it’s only you
It might be your body; it might be
who can put a price tag on you. It is you
your abilities-You are invaluable. You
who tells the world what you are worth
rule your world. Mark your territory.
and no room for negotiation. If they
Often times, a lion does not need to
cannot stand your price, then they
roar to be heard, even when it’s
simply cannot afford you- life does not
standing, the elephant, as big as it is
give discounts, there is a price to pay
shakes with fear. It is all in the lion’s
for every success and achievement-
attitude. Its royalty starts within its
Why then should you present yourself
mindset.
as scrap?
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“…DEAR GIRL YOUR LIFE WILL RUN SMOOTHER IF YOU STOP WAITING FOR THE MARKET TO VALUE YOU. WHETHER THE DEMAND FOR YOU IS HIGH OR LOW; YOUR PRICE NEVER CHANGES.-YOU ARE INVALUABLE!”
-S'THA SIVELA
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IT'S ABOUT LEGACY
Sithandweyinkosi S Sivela
A wise man once said, “The greatest way to use life is to spend it on something that will outlive it.” Through it all, as we said in the beginning, that you are a solution giver. You were created as a puzzle piece and only you can fill that space to complete the picture of humanity. What is it that your hand has to give the world? I mean, what is that gift that will transform the world? The world is in so much need of solutions and change and you are that change that you want to see. You will begin to succeed in life if the pain and hurt of others start to matter to you. See every brand-new day as a brand-new opportunity to be that change, that solution, cause yes you are! Be patient to start small as you work your way up the legacy ladder. Everything big starts little, so be patient and celebrate the small successes, anyway the ocean is made of billions and trillions of tiny water droplets.
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Mother Theresa once said “We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But the ocean would be less because of that missing drop."
Never make the mistake of thinking that you need to be on a platform, with “lights camera action”, your gift is perfect and serves the right purpose where you are. Only you could ever fill that gap, and a life will change because of where you are and that little you have to give. Never compare your gift to someone else, your gift serves a billion times more than what that person you envy could have done in your place cause that is not their space. Be content to keep your lane and your light will spontaneously shine.
Finally, I once wrote that “One becomes a hero/ heroine when even the mightiest cyclone fails to erase their footsteps.” Step
intentionally, your footsteps make a difference.
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ASPIRE TO INSPIRE BEFORE YOU EXPIRE.
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It's not a bed of roses. Sithandweyinkosi S Sivela
The road map to your future greatness is not a bed of roses, it will have thorns, mud and all the foes. That’s the beauty of our journey, it makes conquering more than worth it. We all dream, the difference between winners and losers is that winners wake up and chase their dreams at all costs, and losers sleep and dream forever. You have to go through a season of pain, to create an eternity of gain. Your pain might come in form of rejection-perhaps your peers do not understand your destiny language, and your life will feel more than lonely. It may also be the desire to quit and be free from the pain of chasing this dream. However, when your purpose is clear, your life will have meaning. Your dream is a photograph of your future, when you feel lost and faint, picture that dream and it will keep you in the game. Sometimes it will be necessary for you to keep your calm toward negative criticism, let the future reply. If you know where you are going, then the future will reply, be patient for the future to reply all critics. The reason why most people never make it to the finishing line is that when they started their journey, they thought it was going to be a smooth sail, with no storms. Life is a battle, and he who desires victory must be ready for war. Nomatter what life brings, stay true to your purpose, the truth is that it will never be easy, but it will be worth it. You will surely fall, but remember that it’s not the number of falls and injuries you will experience that counts, but the courage to overlook all and reach the finishing line.
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You have to go through a season of pain, to create an eternity of gain.
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GIRL, DESTINY CALLS.
AUTHOR: Sithandweyinkosi S Sivela DESIGNER: Sithandweyinkosi S Sivela
Instagram @youth_4purpose
"The greatest gift any girl can have is to know their value and worth." -Sithandweyinkosi S Sivela
