The George-Anne Reflector Magazine, Fall 2020

VOLUME 97 | SEPTEMBER 2020

Where the Heart Is: 8 International Students Share Their Experiences Page 32

Go Play: In the Mind of Designer Isaiah Hendrix Page 12

Cannabis, Nicotine, and Vitamin E: What’s In Your Vape?

Page 7

Miscellany Magazine of the Arts Page 43

UNDERSTANDING AND ADDRESSING

TOXIC MASCULINITY PAGE 18

05 07 08 10 12 14 16 18

Ways to Improve Your Mental Health Cannabis, Nicotine, and Vitamin E: What’s In Your Vape?

Hip-Oh: An Exploration of the Band’s Eclectic Sound A Decade In Fashion

Go Play: In the Mind of the Designer Isaiah Hendrix Wearable Art

Dressed In Distress

Understanding and Addressing Toxic Masculinity

contents.

25 28 30 32 36 42 43 50

The Man Behind the Bird

COVID-19: Living In The Time Of A Pandemic GS Community Comes Together TO Support Black Lives Matter Where the Heart Is: 8 International Students Share Their Experiences Finding Success: GS First Generation College Students Share Their Stories Ending Diet Culture

Miscellany Magazine for the Arts

Semester In Review

Staff List Editor-in-Chief Managing Editor Campus Editor Culture Editor

Noelle Walker Aubrey Brumblow Jenna Wiley Savannah Savage-Johnson

Creative Editor-In-Chief Rebecca Hooper Design Editor Aminatta Mbow

LETTER FROM THE

Editor

Dear Reader, For this edition of The George-Anne Reflector Magazine, we covered a multitude of topics.

We have features of fashion designers and the music community. We’re telling the stories on the international student experience and first-generation college students. We also covered harder topics, including stories on ending diet culture and toxic masculinity.

In this magazine, we also have a section for our sister publication: Miscellany Magazine of the Arts.

Miscellany aims to promote the creative culture at our university and inspire students to share their work and grow as creative people. We feature creative writing, photography and art from GS students.

I’d like to thank the writers, editors, designers and photographers, all of who worked really hard (and lost some much-needed sleep) to make the magazine the very best that it could be. I’d also like to thank those who were interviewed. I appreciate your willingness to be so open to talking about these important and sometimes deeply personal topics.

This issue of the George-Anne Reflector Magazine is bittersweet for me, as it is my last as Editor-in-Chief.

I hope that this edition touches your heart as it has mine.

Sincerely,

Noelle Walker, Editor-in-Chief

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Designers Morgan Carr Kayla Hill Cierra Horton Pardiss Moazzam Christaje Roach Austin Williams Dalis Worrell Contributors

Marketing Manager Director of Student Media

Olivia Craft Tatiana Joseph-Saunders Savannah King Kayla Winston-Bass Coy Kirkland David Simpson

Mission Statement Reflector Magazine is Georgia Southern University’s premier lifestyle magazine. Here at Reflector Magazine, we strive to showcase the lives and culture of Georgia Southern University students. Every day, our staff of editors and contributors work to engage the community with content through our biannual magazine and weekly website.

The George-Anne Reflector is copyrighted 2020 by Reflector Magazine and Georgia Southern University, Statesboro, Ga. It is printed

by South Georgia Graphics, Claxton, Ga. The Reflector is operated by GS students who are members of The George-Anne Media Group, a Georgia Southern student-led organization supported by the Division of Student Affairs.

The magazine is produced twice a year by GS students for the Georgia Southern University community.

Opinions expressed herein are those

of the student writers and editors and DO NOT reflect those of the faculty, staff, administration of GS, nor the University System of Georgia.

Partial funding for this publication is provided by the GS Activities Budget Committee. Advertisements fund the remaining costs. Advertising inquiries may be sent to Office of Student Media, PO Box 8001, or by calling the Business Office at 912-478-5418. Inquiries concerning content should be sent to Magazine EIC Blakeley Bartee by emailing magseditor@georgiasouthern.edu.

All students are allowed to have one free copy of this publication.

Additional copies cost $1 each and are available at the Office of Student Media in the Williams Center.

Unauthorized removal of additional copies from a distribution site will constitute theft under Georgia law, a misdemeanor offense punishable by a fine and/or jail time.

Designed by Dalis Worrell Photo by Isis Mayfield

WAYS TO IMPROVE YOUR

MENTAL HEALTH

The importance of mental health is becoming more publicly talked about every day. Like physical health, how we mentally care for ourselves is just as important.

“Mental health includes our emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It affects how we think, feel and act,” according to The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).

It is vital to know that struggling with mental health is not the same as struggling with mental illness.

“A person can experience poor mental health and not be diagnosed with a mental illness.

Likewise, a person diagnosed with a mental illness can experience periods of physical, mental, and social well-being,” according to the CDC. A good mental health status has many benefits such as high selfesteem, being able to effectively handle stress and having a good foundation for relationships, according to Help Guid.

Choosing to take the necessary steps to improve your mental health is not a sign of weakness.

“We need to look at mental health and emotional health in the same capacity [because it] takes a lot of strength to seek help,” said Dr. Gemma Skuraton, the director of Student Wellness & Health Promotion at Georgia Southern Here are a variety of steps you can take and practices to try, leading to a better state of mind.

REFLECTOR September 2020 | 5

Insight Timer (App)

Mindfulness

There are many of mobile apps on the market designed to improve your mental health, and they usually are programmed for all ages.

Skuraton recommends Insight Timer.

Insight Timer is free meditation app including features that can improve your sleep, help manage stress and cope with anxiety.

Insight Timer is available on both the App Store and Google Play Store.

“Mindfulness means maintaining a momentby-moment awareness of our thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations, and surrounding environment,” according to the Greater Good Science Center of UC Berkeley The practice of mindfulness doesn’t have to be complex. It can be as simple as you want it to be.

“I always recommend doing gratitude lists that really is helpful in changing perspective at where you are in that moment and reminding you of focusing on the positive things that you have going on,” said Skuraton

Yoga

Therapy

Yoga has been scientifically proven to alleviate stress.

There is growing research behind yoga proving that it is a “relatively low-risk, high-yield approach to improving overall health,” according to Harvard Health.

Georgia Southern offers Mindful Yoga, taught by Dr. Angela Landers and Dr. Gemma Skuraton.

Mindful yoga is presented by Health Services and the Counseling Center. The free classes are open to all students and are held on Wednesdays from 4 to 5 p.m and Fridays from 11 a.m. to 12 p.m. in the Counseling Center.

The Counseling Center also has a relaxation room.

It is equipped with massage chairs, adult coloring, sound machines and more.

In addition to many other alternative options, therapy is also a very valuable and effective resource.

“People have to be able to make the distinction for themselves, but I would never discourage anyone from going at any point in time, regardless of where they are in their emotional balance,” said Dr. Skuraton.

Physical Exercise / Clean Eating It has been confirmed that exercise is not only beneficial for you physically but also mentally.

“Exercise releases chemicals like endorphins and serotonin that improve your mood. It can help to reduce any feelings of loneliness and isolation,” according to Health Direct.

Along with exercise, it is important that you are consuming a healthy diet.

Dr. Skuraton suggests eating a colorful plate.

“Each one of those colors represents a vitamin or mineral,” said Sakuraton.

Those who consume significant amounts of produce are more likely to be mentally healthier.

“One 2014 study found high levels of wellbeing were reported by individuals who ate more fruit and vegetables,” according to the Mental Health Foundation.

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By Kayla Winston-Bass.

Cannabis, Nicotine, and Vitamin E:

What’s In Your Vape?

Designed by Cierra Horton

On December 20, 2019, the government raised the federal minimum age of sale of tobacco products, including e-cigarettes, from 18 to 21 years, according to the Food and Drug Administration (FDA).

This age limit increase came on the heels of a summer that ended with multiple deaths reported as being caused by popular e-cigarettes and vaping products.

In an email, Brian Deloach, Ph.D. and medical director of the health center at Georgia Southern, said that e-cigarettes were developed as an electronic nicotine delivery system that vaporizes liquid containing nicotine rather than burning tobacco.

“As of October 15, 2019 there have been 1,479 lung injury

cases associated with the use of e-cigarettes and vaping, and 33 deaths have been reported in 24 states,” Deloach said. “In Georgia, to date 21 cases of vaping associated lung injury have been reported to DPH [Department of Public Health], including 2 deaths, and 15 additional possible cases are being investigated by DPH.” This lung illness is known as e-cigarette, or vaping, product use associated lung injury (EVALI). No one compound or ingredient has emerged as the cause of these illnesses to date, but many different substances and product sources are still under investigation.

However, according to Deloach, most cases that have sent the e-cigarette fluid to the FDA for testing have tested

EVALI Hospitalized Or Death By Age Group

24% were 35-older

24% were 25-34

positive for THC. The Center for Disease Control (CDC) describes THC or tetrahydrocannabinol as the psychoactive mind-altering compound of marijuana that produces the “high.”

79% of the cases were in patients under the age of 35, and the median age has been 23, according to the CDC. On the subject of the recent raising of the age limit to buy e-cigarettes, Eric Greenhaw, a senior English major who has worked as a salesperson for A Smokin’ Place since last May, said it has put a lot of people in a really awkward position because there’s no grandfather clause at the moment. This means that the people who are under the new age limit but who are already using vaping products can no longer legally

By: Aubrey Brumblow

Substance Abuse Data From EVALI Hospitalized Patients

87% 57%

15% were 18-older

get a product they are used to.

“They’re kind of in a weird spot of having to either get someone to buy it for them or quit,” Greenhaw said.

In addition, you can stay aware of some of the symptoms that vaping may be harming your body.

According to Deloach, here are some red flags: Cough, shortness of breath or chest pain Nausea, vomiting, abdominal pain or diarrhea “Symptoms may develop over a few days or over several weeks,” said Deloach.

33%

used THC-containing products

used Nicotine-containing Products

exclusive use of THC-containing products.

37% were 18-24

Among the 2,668 hospitalized EVALI cases or deaths reported to CDC (as of January 14, 2020): • 66% were male • The median age of patients was 24 years and ranged from 13–85 years.

14% exclusive to Nicotine Products

2,022 hospitalized patients had data on substance use, of whom (as of January 14, 2020):

REFLECTOR September 2020 | 7

HIP -OH An Exploration of the Band’s Eclectic Sound

If you’re looking for a generic cover band to play your favorite songs just as you know them, a Hip-Oh performance is probably not your scene. The band’s ingenuity and style makes for a performance like no other.

“It’s a mix between neo-soul, mixed with hip-hop with a sprinkle of jazz and funk,” said Cyril Durant, singer and keys player both professionally and in the band. “I guess it’s technically jazz with all those things encompassed.”

The band has four members: Georgia Southern alumnus, Cyril Durant who, with both a bachelor’s and master’s degree in vocal performance, sings and plays keys; Jarrett Thompson, who is pursuing a graduate degree in music technology and plays drums; Hugo Flores, an engineering major who plays guitar and also sings; and Matt Garcia, who has been performing since 2004, pursuing music on his own and plays bass.

Thompson met Flores when auditioning for jazz band together.

They started a band called Play of the Game.

Meanwhile, Garcia was an original member of the band HipOh. Eventually, Thompson began

playing with that band, and the group grew from there.

Thompson and Durant were both in Phi Mu Alpha Sinfonia, the nation’s oldest music fraternity.

During his freshman year, Thompson had played shows with Durant, so he said knew that Durant could sing extremely well.

Thompson said that the group needed a singer because he had been singing in Play of the Game, but he doesn’t like singing much.

The group has been performing together since August 2019.

They have played shows around Statesboro at Eagle Creek Brewery and Dingus Magee’s and at places around Savannah.

Durant said that preparation of gigs can go one of two ways: either the group is able to practice together beforehand or they just have to wing it.

He said that meeting up is sometimes challenging because he and Garcia do not live in Statesboro. They try to meet at least twice a month before a gig.

When preparing for performances of covers, the guys learn the songs as they are written and then put their own spin on it.

Even the same song may vary in each performance.

8 | REFLECTOR September 2 0 2 0

“So, if you come to a Hip-Oh show, there’s a possibility that you’ll hear the same song, but you won’t hear it the same way twice,” he said.

The group’s sound is an amalgamation of many different styles.

Thompson said that sometimes it is challenging for the group to get together because each member also plays with other groups.

“All four of us gig with other people because that’s kinda how we pay rent,” Thompson said.

Each member is passionate about their music and considers playing to be an important part of their lives.

“I really couldn’t see myself doing anything else,” Garcia said.

“I think for all of us, there’s a part of the soul that music feeds,” Durant said. “A significant part of my life as always been music and performance of music.

When it comes to the live music scene, Garcia believes that Statesboro is a bit of an anomaly.

“It’s a lot more lively down here than I really think it should be for being this deep in the south,” Garcia said.

He said that, in areas that have

small populations like Statesboro, there is normally not much diversity in taste and values.

“But when it gets to this town, the college is here and it’s just like a big melting pot,” said Garcia. “I think it’s expanding, just like the town. The more time it’s given and the more people that come through it, the more opportunity it’ll have to grab on to something else.”

He said that he’s played pretty much every place in Statesboro and hasn’t found a place that hasn’t like the different styles that he’s played.

Durant said that of the places in Statesboro that do host live music, there is an eclectic blend.

“It’s pretty all over the place,” Durant said. “You’ve got people that play country, people that do strictly straight up blues or do roots music. Then you’ve got guys like us who take a little bit of everything and make it our own sound.”

Garcia said that opportunities to play music live is important because it gives artists a chance to play music their way.

“I just got tired of just sticking to the track and making it sound like it was just off the radio because

Designed by Austin Williams Photo by Kristen Ballard

you can go sit in your car and turn on a CD,” Garcia said. “But when you go to see band, I just expect something different out of that.”

Durant said that Statesboro’s music scene has changed over the years.

“You want to be a part of the experience,” Durant said. “So, I’ve seen the Statesboro music scene in two facets.”

He said that there was a period between 2009 and 2012 when the city had new bands, featuring many different genres, popping up everywhere and playing together.

“Then there was, like, a short point in time where it just sort of phased out as far as being able to have live music,” said Durant.

Durant said that after the Gatto Law was put into place, making it illegal for people under the age of 21 to enter bars, the music scene suffered a minor setback.

He said that this eventually led to the formation of an underground music scene.

One of the most prominent locations of this covert scene was known as the Birdhaus. It operated from 2015 to 2017.

“We called it the DIY scene because it was very much DIY; We did it in our house,” said

Thompson. “The scene is really different than where I play now because now I play a lot more bars and restaurant.”

Thompson said that were some notable difference between DIY gigs and the places the band plays now. On difference is that now the guys usually get paid for their performances.

“In DIY, it was definitely more original music, there weren’t really any covers at all. It’s kind of the inverse whenever you’re playing in a bar or like at the Blue Room,” said Thompson.

Hip-Oh has no plans to stop making music anytime soon.

“I think that as a group we’re going to keep playing together no matter where we end up because the way recording technology works now, you can do it from anywhere,” said Thompson.

He said that he knows he can rely on Hip-Oh’s members to help him by contributing pieces that he may need, even if working on music for someone else.

“I just want to keep being a working musician, and I see this group more as an outlet for creative work,” Thompson said.

“There’s a lot of times that you might be working with people

who might not be as motivated as you, and these three guys are definitely just as motivated, if not more motivated, than I am sometimes.”

Durant says that the short-term, most attainable goal for the group is to put out original music. He said that the band already has three or four songs completed. They are also continuously working on new songs.

“We’ve got a lot of skeleton pieces because we’ll send each other bits and pieces,” said Durant.

The guys said that the process of writing original music looks different almost every time.

“The generic process that we would go through is somebody has a little spark of some sort and they share it with someone else,” said Garcia.

They said that each song moves throughout the group and by the end, it has been amplified four times by each member’s original take.

“With all of our different tastes and all of our different life experiences, it does always end up creating something completely unique as opposed to one of us writing all the songs,” said Garcia.

“It goes through all of our brains

before it hits anyone else’s ears.”

The band always wants to make sure that everyone can contribute to the writing process.

One of the Hip-Oh’s main longterm goals is to begin performing in the festival circuit.

“I personally would like to see us go to the top, of course, but for the sake of just filling up my time,” said Garcia. “I love just playing music festivals and going to new towns and playing different places. So, anything that can just keep us constantly moving and getting to new places.”

Durant said that the experience of playing music live is rewarding.

“We’re really good at playing covers and putting our own spin on them, but it’s a different kind of gratification that you get from playing your music in front of people that are there to hear your music, like your original stuff, and they dig it,” said Durant.

For the band members, being open-minded is essential.

“The main thing we try to emphasize is no walls, endless creativity. We don’t ever want to be limited by anything,” said Garcia.

By Savannah Savage-Johnson

REFLECTOR September 2020 | 9

As we settle into 2020, it’s worthwhile to take a trip down memory lane and look at the most popular fashion trends from the past decade. Throughout this article, I will be noting a few of the most prominent trends from 2010 to 2019.

Tiny Glasses

One of the most interesting

trends

of the past decade only popped on the scene a few years ago. It is commonly cited as being first introduced to the mainstream world after a January 2018 episode of “Keeping Up With The Kardashians,” where Kim is telling her family how her husband, Kanye West, sent her an email saying she was forbidden from wearing big sunglasses—and, next thing you know, tiny sunglasses were the new thing. Ever since, more and more influencers and celebrities are flaunting the tiny accessories.

Throwback Thursday, Friday, Saturday...

While this trend dates back to the 80s, there seems to be an intense resurgence over the past few years. It is not uncommon now to see a lot of styles from the “90s grunge scene” incorporated into everyday fashion.

Whether it’s distressed jeans, baggy mom jeans or oversized band T-shirts, the 90s are back, and I am 100% here for it.

Joggers, Hoodies, & Athleisure

Whether it was a luxurious brand drop from Beyoncé, or stores keeping

10 | REFLECTOR September 2 0 2 0

stylish

joggers

and

cropped hoodies in stock, athleisure took over this decade. More and more stars are seen strutting around town in the latest sweatpants and sneakers, and people are taking notice.

The Chunkier, The Better: Chunky Sneakers

While it can be traced to 2012 designer Isabel Marant, chunky sneakers have just gotten bigger and more popular. Celebrities are getting papped left and right in these chunky shoes, and they’re getting bought by the masses nonstop. The Fila Women Disruptors are pretty trendy, and luxurious shoe brands are coming out with a new version Designed by Dalis Worrell

every season.

Lions, Tigers, and Bears Oh My!

Animal print jumped on the scene full force at the beginning of the decade, becoming the it trend from 2010-2013. It is now appearing once again as we round out the decade. Whether it’s on runways or in malls around the world, it is hard to avoid the attention-grabbing print nowadays.

One-For-All and All-For-One

The latter half of the decade has brought about more awareness, and inspired action when it came to having more diversity and inclusive representations in the fashion world. The lack of different size and race representation have long been a critique of the fashion industry, but the 2010s have brought about a new wave of making sure the clothes reflect all of the consumers. Some examples are Rihanna’s Savage Fenty lingerie campaign, which includes women of all sizes, American Eagle’s #AerieReal or the inclusion of more gender-fluid clothing.

By: Tatiana Joseph-Saunders REFLECTOR September 2020 | 11

In the mind of the designer Isaiah Hendrix When you look inside the mind of student designer, Isaiah Hendrix, what would you see? Red, bright and vibrant red, but also soft colors to compliment. You would see shapes of every kind, finding there a way to connect with one another.

The mind of Isaiah Hendrix is a puzzle of contrasting colors and shapes, but in reality, he puts this puzzle together by making eye-catching, one of a kind designs.

Hendrix’s passion for fashion has been long-standing, but

his passion for designing was sparked when he took his first apparel course as a public relations major with a fashion and apparel minor. On the first day of this class, Hendrix made a pair of jeans.

“And I fell in love with them and I was like alright this is what I want to do,” said Hendrix.

Before the class even ended, he started the process of changing his major to fashion design.

Before taking a step into the world of design, Hendrix never thought that would be

his path, but after he began working with clothes, and seeing all of the different aspects that go into making the clothes he began to really appreciate it. The more he delved into the process of designing and discovering his process his respect for design grew.

Hendrix’s designs are non- conventional and eyecatching. They are inspired by video games, specifically a game called “Overwatch.” Like “Overwatch,” Hendrix’s design aesthetic has a futuristic

ISAIAH HENDRIX

12 | REFLECTOR September 2 0 2 0

aspect to it and includes bright vibrant colors.

“I like to have different color waves to make it look they’re part of a team,” Hendrix said.

Geometrics and minimalism also play a role in aesthetics.

Hendrix said he thinks of it as an abstract painting, and from there he simplifies it down to one type of shape and then adds a fitting color, “So everything will look like you’re looking at this 8-bit digital realm but very close up,” Hendrix said.

Go Play is fun and futuristic and always feels like you’re moving, and that is how I see my clothing and fashion as.”

Designed by Morgan Carr

Modeled by: Khalia Whitehead, Jaures Bong, Rayla McLean, and MeAnna Harris

Photos by Tamara Tanskley

Video games also played a role in his fashion line’s name: Go Play, “Go Play is fun and futuristic and always feels like you’re moving, and that is how I see my clothing and fashion as,” Hendrix said.

There is a meticulous but necessary process that goes into creating Hendrix’s line. It begins with a design development which includes researching his idea and finding a reason why he wants to create it. Next is fashion forecasting, this step is looking at what’s in trend. Lastly, making sure the idea is up to date.

“You find things that are current, but make it different from everyone else is doing,” Hendricks said.

Selecting the details of his next moves comes next such as figuring whats his target audience as well as what color and fabric he’ll use. Once the details are chosen pattern is an add-in, and this process is like putting a puzzle together.

Hendrix’s favorite part throughout this whole process is sewing the pieces together.

After this, he has a garment.

“It’s a long process, but it’s a fun process,” Hendrix said.

Indecisiveness is to blame when it comes to the challenges Hendrix faces.

“I can have everything patterned out and stylized, and I will start sewing it together and realize I don’t like it, so I’ll scrap it start new,” he said.

Some would say procrastination can work to someone’s disadvantage, but working under pressure is what fuels some of Hendrix’s best work.

“I like to keep my best ideas right there on edge,” said Hendrix.

Through his challenges, Hendrix creates work that he is proud of, and the end product for him is his favorite part in the whole design process.

“Art is not art until someone sees it,” Hendrix said. could be a pull quote Seeing his designs come to life from nothing but an idea, not just on the runway, but on people is more rewarding than he can express.

Virgil Abloah, the founder of Off-White and artistic director for Louis Vuitton, is a designer Hendrix looks up to. Abloah’s style design is streetwear with eloquence and exudes him which is something Hendrix wants to follow. Everything in fashion needs to have meaning Hendrix explains.

“I like to put things when they don’t belong, so I put belt loops mid-thigh rather than on the waistband or I put hoodies on pants,” said Hendrix.

“They’re not supposed to go there, but I find it cool.”

He is gearing his designs toward the younger audience and using his whimsical and street ideas to make garments, unlike the rest.

“When I make something I want people to be noticed and

ISAIAH HENDRIX

be comfortable but also stand out,” Hendrix said.

Reflecting on his journey through fashion design Hendrix recognizes his growth and evolution in design and plans to continue to grow with each garment and fashion line.

“Clothing, same with music

or the same with huge events, kind of shape where the world is going, and I just feel like fashion is my lane to make history with and establish my DNA with,” he said.

By: Savannah King

REFLECTOR September 2020 | 13

decided that he wanted to push his abilities for the show.

“I [thought], I’m not pushing myself enough for this opportunity, and just completed a ground-up design,” Macconnell said.

He created seven pieces for the fashion line, and spent around two months making the clothes, fitting models and attending rehearsals for the show. While it was a lot to get done, Macconnell took advantage of the 2019 winter break to do most of the work for his pieces. As soon as he was done with classes for the day, he could be found in the design lab, setting the groundwork for his upcoming show. He put a lot of work into his pieces while in school, to make it easier for him to finish everything over Christmas break.

Macconnell did not have a name for his line that would be appearing in the fashion shows, as he thought that a title or name for the line might be limiting.

Although he is only a sophomore, Macconnell definitely has an outline of what he wants to do after he graduates. He is interested in the international fashion world and hopes to fully immerse himself in it after receiving his degree.

“I’d love to live in Europe for a couple of years, a lot of great icons lived in Europe,” Macconnell said.

Not only does he have international plans, but Macconnell also hopes to have his pieces taken to an even higher level of avant-garde and become something more than just a brand.

“I’d like to make art pieces that people can have in their home rather than someone paying for something online. I’m kind of just me,” Macconnell said.

By: Tatiana Joseph-Saunders

14 | REFLECTOR September 2 0 2 0

Designed by Pardiss Moazzam

Connor Macconnell is a sophomore apparel design major who is hitting the ground running with his fashion.

While Macconnell only recently started to consider himself a student designer, he is already interested in getting his art out there and noticed. Macconnell had a sudden interest in fashion in high school, and, due to his homeschooling, he had a lot of free time to explore this newfound craft.

“I kind of just started looking at clothes and then it evolved from there,” said Macconnell. “I just kept looking at higher and higher [fashion].”

There are some select inspirations Macconnell notes, like Kerby Jean-Raymond and Craig Green. Both are known for their avant-garde style, Green more so than Jean-Raymond. While both designers frequently work with bright colors and unique design choices, Jean-Raymond’s work is more wearable, as eccentric as it may be. Green’s designs are pieces that would cause a lot of heads to turn, if seen while walking down the street. This ties into Macconnell’s vision for his own pieces. Macconnell wants his clothing to be considered art, and has always gravitated to the avant-garde side of fashion.

“Because I was homeschooled, I played a lot of video games, and I think it kind of has pulled me towards the fantasy, bigger-thanlife element,” said Macconnell.

Macconnell first considered himself a designer after completing the 2020 Uncivilized Fashion Show, an annual creative exhibition at Georgia Southern University.

Initially, Macconnell was just going to style a few pieces for the fashion show, but after thinking, he

Photos by Tamara Tanskley

Wearable Art

Because I was homeschooled, I played a lot of video games, and I think it kind of has pulled me towards the fantasy, biggerthan-life element.�

CONNOR MACCONNELL

Designer Connor Macconnel Modeled by Isaiah Hendrix and Jordan Tucker

REFLECTOR September 2020 | 15

DRESSED IN

Each piece of fabric is stained differently from the bleach transforming it into something new. Every bleached pattern is different from the last. Each new rip is different and everything is one of a kind. This is Gameday Grunge.

Taylor Treadwell, a senior Fashion and Merchandising major, is the mastermind behind Gameday Grunge. Treadwell has been customizing and bleaching T-shirts and jackets since April of 2019, but Treadwell didn’t think it would turn into a business.

Treadwell has always wanted to open her own store or sell her own clothing, so she felt selling her customized shirts was something easy to start with. She began with bleaching and customizing Georgia Southern T-shirts so that she could sell them locally for football games and other events. She then branched off into customizing shirts for other schools and random tops she would find when she went thrift shopping. This is when she decided to start selling them on Etsy.

The metamorphosis of her creations normally takes place in her garage but begins in the thrift store.

“I love thrift shopping, so I will go to like Goodwill, but I prefer the Christian thrift store or the Humane Society because it’s cheaper,” she said.

Next comes deciding exactly

16 | REFLECTOR September 2 0 2 0

how she wants to distress the top— whether she’ll bleach it, rip it or both.

Treadwell has always had the distressed style in mind since the beginning of her venture into making distressed T-shirts, but her technique throughout her process has evolved so that she is able to give her tops a variety of patterns and take them to the next level.

“When I first began, it was a trial and error kind of process, so now I know and have learned how to make different designs and how bleach reacts with certain colors, it’s just a learning process,” she said.

Even though Treadwell’s specialty in Gameday Grunge is distressing T-shirts, she also has distressed denim jackets. Like the T-shirts, she hand-distresses each jacket, but the denim jackets take time and patience. There are a lot of different techniques she uses to distress the jackets, but each includes extracting individual pieces of thread strand by strand.

As Treadwell prepares for graduation, she looks forward to new projects, “[Gameday Grunge] was kind of a fun thing that I have been working on for now, but I’m open to new projects,” Treadwell said. She still hopes to be able to incorporate her distressed T-shirts in the future.

By: Savannah King

Photos by Kristen Ballard

DISTRESS Designed by Kayla Hill and Aminatta Mbow

nd I kind lled ards asy, annt,”

REFLECTOR September 2020 | 17

Understanding and Addressing

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Photo & Designed by Rebecca Hooper

REFLECTOR September 2020 | 19

Imagine stepping foot on campus and feeling immediate anxiety about walking to class because you feel like people are looking at youㄧ judging you.You feel overwhelmed. Because of this, you begin to feel weak. And, the next thing you know, you begin to feel inadequate because you feel that you are shying away from the challenge of facing all of the people’s looks and are waiving in your performance of masculine ways.

This is how Jared Yates Sexton, author of “The Man They Wanted Me To Be” and associate professor of writing at Georgia Southern, explained the beginning of his experience with toxic masculinity while in college.

Sexton said that as a result of feeling that way, he consciously made the decision to overcompensate. He said he started dressing more like the men who raised him: in flannels, jeans and boots. The same men who abused himㄧbecause that’s a lot of these ideas are learned through abuse, socialization and mistreatment.

Many people shy away from the topic of toxic masculinity due to the implications the phrase carries with it.

Some common beliefs are that toxic masculinity does not exist or that the phrase is meant as an insult, but when it discussed and explained properly, people will come to realize that the topic, though it may be hard, is important to explore and understand.

Toxic masculinity is not a term calling men evil or bad, and it is not an implication that men are naturally violent and angry.

Instead, toxic masculinity is what happens when men feel inadequate in their masculinity, which leads to overcompensation . This overcompensation is what is considered “toxic masculinity or at least what leads to toxic masculinity.

Before addressing toxic masculinity, “masculinity” and “femininity” both need to be talked about. ”Toxic masculinity actually was inspired by a feminist movement called toxic femininity, according to

“What We Mean When We Say, ‘Toxic Masculinity’”.“I do not think that there is a fix until we deal with the issue of gender inequality in general--when we stop defining masculinity as the opposite of femininity,” Baker Rogers, assistant professor of sociology at Georgia Southern, said.

Toxic masculinity is what occurs when men overcompensate because they can not reach the unattainable construct of masculinity.

“Masculinity is a gender, which is a construct, right? This is a societal idea of what supposedly men and women and people are supposed to be and how they are supposed to behave based on pressures and traditions,” said Sexton.

Sexton explained that masculinity is not necessarily male because there is a difference between sex and gender. Therefore, the ideas about traditional masculinity that a lot of men have grown up in is it is a really rigid construct. You have all of these expectations, the idea that you are supposed to be stoic and you are not supposed to feel. The thing about this is these ideas are unachievable because men feel just as much as women.

"Men feel more than women, when it really comes down to it,” said Sexton.

“When men come short of these expectations, they suffer fragile insecurity, and men who feel insecure in their masculinity overcompensate by over-performing ideas of masculinity,” Sexton explained.

This can often leads to violence and abuse and it will cause men to torture themselves inward and outward.

Adrianna Horowitz reported for Pew Research Center that 6 in 10 men feel pressure to throw a punch if provoked.

"So, it is just a big, large thing because men are a lot of times unable to get outside of the gender construct and their frustration and insecurity leads to overcompensation, which leads to different forms of violence" said Sexton.

“I think the way we define masculinity in general is toxic because we define it in opposition as higher than, better than femininity,” Rogers said.

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Joseph Napollilo, sophomore writing & linguistics major and a member of the ROTC, said “I’ve seen guys who have been bullied into low self-esteem and then they overcompensate and try to be more alpha, and it can lead to conflict with other people.”

Kaitlyn Rediker, junior biochemistry major, said her experience with toxic masculinity has to do with being a biochem major.

“Women used to not be able to be doctors. It was frowned upon.

We belonged at home being housewives and mothers, so if anyone ever puts you down in the path of becoming a doctor, it is going to be men telling you that you are not good enough.”

Joshua Collins, junior graphic design major, said that his experience with toxic masculinity was actually through his old neighbor. Collins explained that his neighbor was emotionally illiterate and that he shut off all emotion other than anger or irritation. He said that this was a result of his father abandoning his family.

“I think that toxic masculinity here in the south, especially on campus …is almost like a bubble here,” said Adriana Eskew, junior geology major .

Eskew also said that men normally do not acknowledge the fact that they are performing and they do not understand the long term implications of it.

Micheal Smith, junior writing and linguistics major, said that his experience with toxic masculinity has to do with men talking about women like they are lesser beings.

The anecdote he used was when a girl leaves a room of guys, the guys are normally going to talk about her physical features in a degrading way.

Rogers also said that when people normally use that term, they are referring to the more extreme aggression that we see in the media.

Lauren Patterson, licensed psychologist who works at the Georgia Southern Counseling Center and chair of the Sexual Assault Response Team (SART), explained her experience with toxic masculinity on campus.

She said because of her position as the chair of the SART on campus, “a lot of conversation and talk about sexual violence is linked to toxic masculinity.”

“Toxic masculinity seems to have a greater impact or show up more often when there’s also some level of what’s called groupthink involved,” said Patterson.

It is what leads men in these groups to substance abuse, sexual assault, and hazing. Not all fraternities are like this, and there are many benefactors to joining a fraternity, but addressing toxic masculinity’s affect on them is a step in the right direction for all fraternities.

Milas Avery, senior president of Zeta Delta Delta said “I believe that toxic masculinity is something that is a trend in the community. In my fraternity, we have different programs and health initiatives where we sit down and talk where we break down certain barriers and validate one another.”

An example of toxic masculinity that could pertain to fraternities as well is when men get together and they do not feel secure in their masculinity. This leads to them putting up a front and competing and overcompensating until they are not even themselves anymore, just the character that they are trying to portray.

When men join fraternities, they are a part of this exclusive group of men, where everyone is looking to “feel important or feel like they belong,” said Rogers.

Rogers also said that men join fraternities “to gain a sense of brotherhood; then they are made to compete. And this always harms a lot of men and harms women.”

This competition is what can lead to substance abuse, sexual assault and hazing, explained Rogers.

“Those who belong to a fraternity may exhibit hypermasculinity which includes incredible amounts of negative language around women and gay men to ensure that their masculinity is never questioned,” according to Alisha Ram in her study called “Masculinity in Fraternities.”

An article from College Student Affairs Leadership called The Final Battle: Constructs of Hegemonic Masculinity and Hypermasculinity in Fraternity Membership written by Alex Zernechel and April Perry discusses the belief that when men join a fraternity “the individual could lose his “man-card” for actions or comments that were deemed feminine or not masculine.”

This is based on the belief that it is feminine to express emotion.

Sexton said “there is an idea that men are not able to be around other men and show affection and show comradery without self destructive behavior.”

Sexton also points out that an example of this is when men go to hug one another and they pat each other on the back.

“Yes, this is a show of emotion, but there was also some pain in it” said Sexton.

Sexton said “there is this idea that if you are around another man and you’re not engaging in overtly hyper masculine behaviors, then you yourself have failed and you might, you know, suffer humiliation.”

“Unfortunately, the secrecy and loyalty paired with the strong identification with traditional masculine ideas create an environment where actions are not held accountable and aggressive/violent behavior may go ‘unnoticed,’” according to Ram. The following are hazing reports for GS fraternities since 2018, according to a Freedom of Information Act filed to Georgia Southern’s record office: In 2018, Kappa Alpha Psi was suspended and lost recognition on the Statesboro campus due to incidents involving hazing.

In 2018 and 2019, Delta Tau Delta was suspended from the Statesboro Campus.

Both times were for accounts of hazing.

In 2019, Alpha Epsilon Pi was

suspended from the Statesboro campus due to hazing as well.

Griffin Ziegler, who joined Delta Sigma Phi in 2016 and was president from November 2018 to October 2019, said that because of their system for recruiting being more varied “if there was any toxic masculinity affecting my fraternity, it was really low. I don’t really think there was.”

The George-Anne Reflector reached out to the Director of Fraternity and Sorority Life multiple times and received no direct response.

“Rape culture and toxic masculinity go hand-in-hand,” said Patterson.

The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey found that 1 in 5 women have experienced rape victimization in their lifetime, and 51% of female rape survivors reported victimization by a current or former intimate partner. Research also indicates that sexual aggression against women is primarily perpetrated by men.

“Much research has demonstrated that men who endorse and internalize several aspects of hegemonic masculinity are at greater risk for perpetrating sexual aggression toward women” according to Psychology of Men and Masculinity.

Patterson also said “in the event of like a more extreme way, toxic masculinity really impacts rape culture and sexual violence and the perpetration of sexual violence.”

She gave an example of the movie “The 40-Year-Old Virgin” and how it had this whole scene where men are talking about getting women drunk in order to increase the chances of them having sex.

“By reinforcing ideas that men are taught to seek out sex, and it becomes kind of a game or mission because society tells men that it is a good thing to then seek out sex from women, and that kind of goes hand in hand with toxic masculinity,” said Patterson.

REFLECTOR September 2020 | 21

Photo by Aminatta Mbow

Messages such as these penetrate our society and our consciousness and normalizes it and makes it okay, said Patterson.

Patterson explained that, when something called groupthink is involved, men seem more accepting of things in the realm of toxic masculinity such as predatory sexual behavior and unaccepting of more "feminine" things such as expression of emotion.

Rogers said that one of the biggest ways toxic masculinity affects college students is the sexual assault culture.

“It revolves around athletic and fraternity culture which are very big into this toxic masculinity, where proving your manhood is important,” Rogers said Sexton explained that the way he sees toxic masculinity affecting college students, and the one most people are familiar with is the idea of rape culture.

“Part of the masculine ideal is a hierarchy, which is basically that men are rational and strong, and, as a result, women are irrational and weak, and so they are treated as lesser beings,” said Sexton. “And so, they take advantage of women and hurt women.”

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The idea of loneliness feeds into toxic masculinity as well.

Sexton explained that men have a difficult time going from the major idea of rape culture to the idea of loneliness because men are taught to not express themselves.

“This leads to them not having outlets for intimacy--they do not have good friendships, they do not have support which leads to their mental health suffering,” he said.

He explained that another factor is like the way he felt an insecurity in his masculinity, “because men know constantly that they are not living up to these expectations and they are not totally strong and stoic and invincible.”

“You see a lot of men who over perform these things,” said Sexton. ”They are binge drinking.They are using drugs.Their academic performance suffers. Their personal relationships suffer, and a lot of them are lonely.”

Sexton also said that, normally, because of mental health problems, men self- medicate through drinking and doing drugs. A lot of times, they get lost in these ways of coping and these problems are not only affecting college students, but men throughout

society as a whole. He explains that men's lives can fall apart due to this toxic masculinity.

Men and mental health are two words that people normally would not put together–and if they are, they usually carry a stigma. Considering college can put a strain on mental health, it is important to address the stigma that men are inadequate if they suffer with their mental health.

“At any one time, it is believed that one in five women and one in eight men are diagnosed with a common mental illness, such as anxiety, depression, panic disorder or obsessive compulsive disorder” according to the Counseling Directory.

The Counseling Directory also reported that “talk therapy has been shown to help with many of the key mental health issues experienced by men, including stress, anxiety, addiction and depression.”

Men tend to suppress their feelings to the point where they are not even able to understand that their feelings are their feelings, said Sexton.

“Men sort of mask everything under the space of control,” said Sexton.

Sexton explained that when men, or anyone for that matter, bottle up their emotions, it is hard to understand what is going on inside of their heads.

“If you’re not going to complain, then there is no way to understand what is going on internally,” said Sexton.

In other words, talking out your feelings can help you understand exactly what you are feeling.

More than 8 in 10 men feel pressure to be emotionally strong, according to Horowitz.

Patterson explained that bottling up emotions is dangerous because when men cannot recognize distinct feelings, the only emotion that is prevalent is anger. This can lead to physical abuse, emotional abuse and even substance abuse.

“Physical injuries are akin to mental

health injuries,” said Sexton.

Benjamin Drevlow, lecturer for writing and linguistics at Georgia Southern, said that you have to “remember that all men are going through this. It is a matter of being brave enough and man enough to admit it.”

Once men start communicating their feelings, regardless of their fear of being seen as inadequate or their fear of being judged, the stigma surrounding men struggling with mental health may begin to disappear.

Drevlow said that we are a couple of generations away from this, however, because the people who socialize the men of current generations tend to enforce the idea of masculinity, which leads to toxic masculinity overall.

Toxic masculinity is what happens when men try to reach this unattainable construct called

masculinity, and when they cannot, they try to overcompensate until their masculinity becomes toxic.

Patterson said that what leads men who are suffering with mental health issues to suicide or abuse is the idea that “the only emotion men are allowed to express is anger and the idea that you must pull yourself up by the boot straps and take matters into your own hands.”

“Suicide is the biggest cause of death for men under 35,” according to the Counseling Dictionary.

Men bottling up their emotions is a construct etched into society from years ago when men saw themselves as the hunter-gatherers and workers of the family. With that belief came the idea that men had to be tough in order to take on the “masculine” roles of household, said Patterson.

However, because society has already moved away from this

REFLECTOR September 2020 | 23

belief––seeing that men can be homemakers and women can be the “hunter-gatherer” of the family without very much backlash––it is important to get rid of the idea that men have to be stoic and unwavering in their emotions.

In fact, Gretchen Livingston reported for Pew Research Center that, As of 2012, the number of stayat-home fathers had risen up to 2 million, according to Pew Research’s Social & Demographic Trends.

Drevlow said that it is socially acceptable by men for men to be angry. When men are wavering in their feelings and are nervous or worked up over something, they are seen by many men as inferior.

Many men are taught that it is “feminine” to express emotion that is not anger, so it is important to communicate and work to blur the lines of the stereotypical “masculine” and “feminine” constructs.

Once we work to remove the stereotypes, men will realize that their suffering from mental health issues is not a result of personal inadequacy.

Patterson said that a way to break this stigma and help men’s mental health is to vocalize that “it is okay to feel what you feel.”

“I think that it will take a lot of really changing the system and our culture norms and the strict gender roles of what it means to be a man and what it means to be a woman,” said Patterson.

“You do not have to always be in one extreme or the other...you can kind of borrow from both norms."

So, when thinking about the cultural norms of both masculinity and femininity, men should not be afraid to express emotion because these gender "norms" are not unwavering-you are allowed to feel without the fear of being "too feminine."

“It is okay for men to have feelings and feel what they are feeling,” she said.

Because these social constructs of 24 | REFLECTOR September 2 0 2 0

gender are etched into society, there is not a way to break away from toxic masculinity until these unfaltering gender ideas have been done away with.

“I do not think that there is a fix until we deal with the issue of gender inequality in general--when we stop defining masculinity as the opposite of femininity,” Rogers said.

The fact that masculinity is considered the opposite of femininity is sort of the roots of toxic masculinity.

“I think that we could start by raising children differently… but for today, I think calling this out and not being silent about it is vital” said Rogers.

We can not change the world just by calling this epidemic out, but addressing the topic and beginning to raise children with different beliefs is a good way to start.

Sexton said that the way he thinks

toxic masculinity could be fixed is for men to come to terms with the fact that they are performing, and they are not their performance.

When men realize that their hyper masculinity is a performance is when they can start working on blurring the lines of gender norms and work to overcome toxic masculinity.

“The cure to all of this is communication because men are imprisoned by their masculinity because they are told that they can not communicate” said Sexton.

Full-time Georgia Southern students are permitted 16 free visits per year with a licensed psychologist and are promised anonymity. To schedule an appointment, call 912-478-5541 (Statesboro Campus) or 912-344-2529 (Armstrong Campus).

By Olivia Craft

THE MAN

BEHIND THE bIRD REFLECTOR September 2020 | 25

As I sit on a cold metal bench outside of the Wildlife Center at Georgia Southern University, I can hear the sounds of nature all around me. Birds are chirping, squirrels are playing in the crunchy autumn leaves and water is babbling from a nearby fountain.

The first thing someone sees as they enter the center are colorful and exquisite displays of wildlife. I spot some people milling around exploring the center on their own time, admiring the displays.

There are snakes, fish and all types of animals on display. The feeling in the air is calm and eager to learn, which is something Steve Hein loves to do.

Steve Hein’s office, located in the Wildlife Center, is decorated with what at first glance seem to be amazing photographs of wildlife and animals.

Upon closer inspection, I discovered that they are actually paintings that Hein has done himself. Three sit

across the top of his desk of the bald eagle: Georgia Southern University’s iconic symbol Freedom.

Growing up in Southern California just outside of Los Angeles, you could count on Hein being outside whenever he got the chance. He would explore local orange groves and bring back all types of critters to his house, which his parents were grudgingly supportive of. His family also had an outdoor aviary, so his interactions with birds began at a young age.

After moving from California, he and his family found themselves putting down roots in Statesboro, Georgia. Hein’s parents loved the South and happened across Statesboro accidentally and instantly fell in love with it.

Hein graduated from Georgia Southern University with a degree in Business Administration in 1983. After graduating from GS at age 23, he dove

26 | REFLECTOR September 2 0 2 0

headfirst and became a full time professional wildlife artist. Hein said he has “never had a real job” because it doesn’t feel like work to Hein since he gets to do what he has such a strong passion for every day.

Although Hein has never had an art lesson, his talent can be seen in his busy work history.

Hein has done artwork for numerous companies like Coca-Cola and Georgia Power Company. Along with personal projects, Hein is also working on up to a year’s worth of commissioned art pieces at any given time.

As a wildlife artist, Steve received the Georgia Governor’s “Artist of Excellence” award; won the 1987 and 1988 Georgia Wildlife Management Area Stamps; was chosen in 1986, 1987 and 1990 Georgia Ducks Unlimited Artist of the Year; and worked on a national level with Ducks Unlimited, Quail Unlimited and the National

Wild Turkey Federation.

Along with art, Steve also finds passion in falconry.

Hein has been participating in the ancient art of falconry for 33 seasons, with this past season his most recent. Steve often credits his career here at Georgia Southern as a complete “accidental career” more than anything else. He said he was “in the right place at the right time” and that his talent and passion for falconry was the genesis for creating the Wildlife Center here at Georgia Southern.

When it comes to other things Hein enjoys doing, the list is endless. Steve likes to fish, practice archery, woodworking, and the obvious: bird watching. He is also an avid hunter with his own falcons, hawks and dogs that he has trained to hunt alongside him.

There is no way to put Hein’s typical work day into a strict schedule because every day is not

Designed by Christaje Roach Photos by Tamara Tanskley

the same. Although Hein does not participate in the many different types of educational presentations done at the Wildlife Center, he credits the staff for the smooth running operation of the center.

“We exist on the backbone of the students who have gravitated to the wildlife center,” said Hein.

While most students who work at the Wildlife Center are studying a subject related to biology or wildlife, Hein says he doesn’t just seek out biologists.

He enjoys working with “people persons” because so much of what they do involves being the liaison between nature and man for people who come to visit the center.

The way the Wildlife Center is run is fundamentally and philosophically different than a lot of other centers of the same caliber. This center focuses on handson learning and having the educational process be an intellectual and emotional pursuit instead of one or the other. Hein helped create the Wildlife Center and was even working on the blueprints in his own kitchen. “‘We [as humans] are tactile creatures, we don’t say ‘hey don’t touch that,’” said Hein. “We do the exact opposite. We say ‘hey come and touch’ in a responsible way.”

Game days in Statesboro are electric and something that everyone who has been to a game in Paulson Stadium looks forward to is Freedom’s Flight during the Southern Pride Marching Band’s pregame performance.

Those 30-odd seconds

where Freedom is flying over the heads of Eagle Nation are an iconic part of Georgia Southern culture.

However, someone that is an important gear that keeps the machine turning is often in the foreground.

The preparation for game day flights actually begin the week before the flight is scheduled to take place, Hein said.

He typically tries to get Freedom into the stadium at least two times during the week, doing practice flights around the same time he would be flying on Saturday. The staff also tries to mimic how Freedom’s eating cycle would be like if he were to be in the wild, so Freedom is looking for food on game days and is essentially hunting for Hein, who is his food source.

Steve is always the person that Freedom flies to, so Hein has never been on the upper deck of Paulson Stadium for a release. Wildlife Curator Scott Courdin or Education Program Coordinator Wayne Paulk are one of two people who release Freedom. Hein is the person down on the field doing what he calls his “Freedom Dance”.

Regarding what goes through Hein’s mind during Freedom’s Flight, he had two words to say: “Not again.” Hein knows very well that you can’t ever predict what an apex predator is going to do, and he calls Freedom’s flight pattern when he circles the stadium a “toilet bowl flight”.

“There are certain things that I reflect upon in that moment that puts it all in perspective for me,” said Hein. “Flying

a bird is entertainment.

There are things much more important. You have the national anthem, you’ve got a canon that’s signifying our military service men and women.”

During the flight itself, Hein has to stay hyperfocused on Freedom. He is constantly watching his movements and trying to read his behavior. Only until Freedom lands safely can Hein somewhat relax and enjoy the crowds reaction.

Freedom has given so many amazing moments to Hein. It was difficult for Hein to choose which moments stood out the most.

One of the moments that came to his mind was during the first time Georgia Southern played against the Naval Academy. As 4,000 midshipmen men and women marched onto the field, Steve Hein was right there with them. As they marched past, the midshipmen cut their eyes to Freedom in recognition.

Later on in the game, Hein ventured into the stands that was a sea of white with Freedom.

Another moment he recalls happened after a game in Paulson Stadium.

Steve and Freedom had just finished singing with the band and football players, and he was walking around and allowing people to snap some photos with Freedom when a Latina woman approached him.

Hein recalls that she was tearful and trying to speak, but Hein unfortunately couldn’t understand her. She then placed a gentle kiss on Freedom’s shoulder.

There was another woman nearby

who was able to translate to Hein. He learned that the woman had just applied for America Citizenship and being able to be there and see the nation’s symbol meant a lot to her.

“I had to turn around myself as to not get emotional in front of them,” said Hein. “It was just so touching,” said Hein.

As our interview came to a close, one thing became very clear to me: Steve Hein is someone who loves what he does, and he has so much passion for art, wildlife and animals that it is sometimes difficult to put into words.

Watching Hein and Freedom interact in what some would call their “stomping ground” without the roaring crowd and bright lights game days offer in Paulson Stadium, was something truly special. Hein was stern, yet comfortable with Freedom, and it was clear to me that both of them have a mutual relationship of respect.

Everything boils down to his love and respect for the outdoors and everything in it. Hein has been able to bring two things he has an undeniable passion for, art and wildlife, into a career that seems perfectly tailored to him.

“It’s been a really fun, unbelievably rich life that is more of an accident than anything else. I’ve been very blessed and I’ve been the beneficiary of the ‘serendipity and synchronicity of life,’” said Hein.

By: Jenna Wiley

REFLECTOR September 2020 | 27

COVID-19:

Living In The Time of A Pandemic

Hollie Sisk and her family

The following are a few reflections from the Reflector staff: “I am disappointed in the way our federal and state government handled the pandemic, but I didn’t expect anything different,” said Jenna Wiley. “It is sad to see so many lives affected by this and how people still refuse to take the proper precautions for other people’s safety.”

Tatiana Joseph-Saunders also voiced her disappointment.

“I am disappointed but not surprised at how the federal government along with my fellow college students have handled the pandemic,” said Joseph-Saunders. “I knew that our national leadership at multiple levels were inept, no matter the party or preference, but this pandemic has really shown that.”

Alexis Hampton stated that, even though her family was taking

In March 2020, the coronavirus pandemic caused Georgia Southern University to transfer to online courses for the remainder of the semester. It was and still is a time of uncertainty.

Back on campus for the Fall 2020 semester, life looks a lot different than in the past. Face masks are requires in buildings on campus. Some classes have partially or fully moved online.

Some courses have split students into groups, allowing each group to come to class on a different day.

GS students, staff and faculty are learning a new way of living, at least for now.

Hollie Sisk, director for the Instructional Support and Resources Center on both the Armstrong & Statesboro Campus, said she wears a mask to protect

GS’s Eagle Educators and her family. She’s changed her daily routine to make sure she socially distances, frequently washer her hands and wears her mask.

Peter-Gai Groves, senior public relations major, said her way of life has significantly changed.

“I miss seeing the vibrancy of campus life,” said Groves.

Jennifer Furlong, communications instructor at GS, said that she wears her mask because she cares for those around her.

Furlong’s daily routine has changed in the midst of the pandemic.

“Teaching has become a challenge for sure, but we’ll get through this,” said Furlong.

precautions and being safe, they all tested positive for COVID-19.

“My mother who was the most scared of the virus had been working from home since the start of March and ended up having to take care of two of her children and worrying about her husband who had to go to the hospital for almost three weeks,” said Hampton. “It was just when I was about to...go back to campus that I wound up being positive. And the most frustrating thing about all of it is that there are so many people like me that are still trying to stay home, wear masks when they go out and be socially distant. But there are so many more people that will line up outside of the Blue Room for a concert during a pandemic.”

By: Noelle Walker

28 | REFLECTOR September 2 0 2 0

Jennifer Furlong

Peter-gai Groves

WE ASKED, YOU RESPONDED

return to campus

Designed by Aminatta Mbow

I just believe not everyone will abide by the rules, especially when we just now had to require people to wear masks because we weren’t going to before. I don’t feel like it’s a safe bet when cases are still rising like this and people are coming from different places as well.”

Photos Courtesy of Jennifer Furlong, Peter-gai Groves, and Hollie Sisk

I feel that with students coming from all parts of the country and even other countries that the virus will just continue to spread and never go away. I think we should at least sit out fall semester.”

College-aged people are included in the fastest growing group testing positive for COVID-19. It is not a good idea to place that demographic in enclosed areas.”

I believe returning to in-person classes is a good idea in theory. We will definitely be getting a better and more thorough education compared to online, but risk factors are going to increase for the spread of the virus. Unless there is consistent testing on campus, there will most likely be an outbreak and the school will shut down again.”

I think returning to classes is fine.

If everyone in the class wears a mask, then the risk of transfer is extremely slim. As long as the mask guidelines are strictly enforced we should be fine.”

REFLECTOR September 2020 | 29

GS COMMUNITY COMES TOGETHER TO SUPPORT

This summer, police brutality against African Americans became the forefront of world news following the deaths of Ahmad Arbery, George Floyd and Breonna Taylor. Millions marched across the world in support of the Black Lives Matter movement, including right here in Statesboro, Georgia. Members of Statesboro and GS community came together to peacefully protest against the social injustice.

Peaceful protests both occurred on the Georgia Southern campus in Statesboro and at the Bulloch County Courthouse.

30 | REFLECTOR September 2 0 2 0

T h e fo l l o w i n g a re a fe w re f l e c t i o n s f ro m the Reflector staff: “I was happy with the resurgence of the movement and it moving into the spotlight once again,” said Tatiana Joseph-Saunders. “Also, these past couple of months have provoked really interesting conversations with myself about performative allyship concerning white celebrities and social media influencers.”

“If I’m being honest, at that point, I was already numb to the police killing innocent black people,” said Alexis Hampton.

“It happens all the time and nothing is done about it. What hurt me is that I couldn’t go to

any protests. I had to support the cause from my couch by posting black squares on Instagram and signing petitions. Since my father was high risk for COVID, I did everything I could to make sure that it stayed out of our house like barely leaving the house and skipping out on human interaction of any kind.”

“The Black Lives Matter movement is something I support and have attended protests for, and it is refreshing to see how the issue is becoming a part of people’s daily conversations and a hopefully permanent topic in mainstream media,” said Jenna Wiley.

By Noelle Walker

as if we had a choice about our skin color a

WE ASKED, YOU RESPONDED Anger and disappointed that racism persists in this country and that being a person of color is a crime, as if we had a choice about our skin color at birth!”

Designed by Dalis Worrell

I’m nothing short of appalled.

There is a serious problem with the current state of the law enforcement system because things like this keep happening in a post-civil rights movement America. It’s unacceptable and there needs to be change.”

Photos by Andy Cole

I’m sad and I hurt for the Black community that has experienced this pain over and over again while fighting for systemic changes that are never made. As a White professor, this is another moment to reexamine how I can use my position and privilege to help in the fight for change. I hope these murders serve as a catalyst that spurs more White students and faculty to stand with the People of Color in our communities by taking antiracist actions.”

Feeling frustrated, sad, disappointed, disgusted, afraid, and I have a lack of confidence that what is displayed all over the country and especially up the road from my home, could be in my immediate community.

We are socially distant, but we are also emotionally distant in our response to this atrocity. My thoughts are we as an institution should have a strong voice in this matter. A voice we can ALL agree with. A voice that is not passive in response but definitive in its rebuke of injustice. Silence is agreement.”

We need to hold everyone accountable for their actions. May it be private citizens or police. I’m proud of the young people who are peacefully protesting. This is the world that they are going to be in charge of leading. Hopefully no one else should die in vain”

REFLECTOR Fall 2020 | 31

WHERE THE HEART IS:

INTERNATIONAL SHARE THEIR EXPERIENCES

France.

Brazil.

Austria.

Honduras.

Nigeria.

South Africa. These Georgia Southern students come from all over the world–and now they share their varied experiences.

Ron Jones, assistant director and acting director of the Office of International Student Admissions and Programs, defined what qualifies a student as an international student.

“For Georgia Southern, an international student is someone who’s neither a US citizen or a US permanent resident,” Jones said. “And so there are folks that we meet, students who we meet, who are a citizen of other countries, but they’re permanent residents of the US, so we would not consider those students as international students.”

Beyond that general definition, there are four types of international students, Jones explained. There are the international undergraduate students, the degree-taking graduate-level students, the exchange students and the English language program students.

Exchange students are enrolled in a university outside the US and typically spend only one to two semesters at GS. Those in the English Language Program come here specifically to learn English.

As of Spring 2020, GS hosts a total of 425 international students, with 300 being undergraduate, 126 being graduate and 45 being in the English Language Program (ELP).

Student Life Jones explained that, for the majority of other countries, the higher education system is just about the academics and doesn’t have a student life component. Students in other countries often still live at home and commute to a university or college, and, while they take classes, there are not student clubs.

“And so when international students come here, there’s this whole gamut of not only academics, but the student life component, which, really, in my view, changes the trajectory and the development of a student,” Jones said. “And international students always comment on how different it is to be a university student here in the US or at Georgia Southern versus in their home countries because of that student life component.”

Maria Vilar, a sophomore mechanical engineering major and biology minor from Salvador, Brazil, described how she is now able to research at GS. She said you don’t have money going into college for these projects in Brazil.

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“So, I used to go to college back in Brazil, and there you don’t have that many,” said Vilar. “You don’t have money going in. So, there’s no way you can do research. There’s no way you can develop what you think about one topic, and, like, coming here...that was a big difference for me because I was scared of doing research and everything because I thought that it was this big thing that no one else did.”

Vilar said she cannot thank college enough for everything she is now. She said she is more leadership-oriented and knows how to manage her time, live by herself and be professional.

She also said she discovered she was good at a lot of things that she didn’t know she was good at. She said that, when she came here, it was really good to see how people acknowledged everything that she does and say how good she is at something.

Vilar currently serves as the vice president of the International Ambassadors, who lead international SOAR, as well as the vice president of communication for Women in Technology, the treasurer for the Society of Women Engineers and a member of the Georgia Southern Dance Team.

Henry Anumba, a junior

mechanical engineering major from Nigeria, said he has gained an ability to keep up with organizations and clubs here and described the schedule as “so tight.” He also said that some other big changes going from Nigeria to America include sports and gaming.

“I’ll say it’s a lot less in Nigeria,” Anumba said.

Sports Manuel Abadie Ardon, mechanical engineering sophomore, loves GS– especially when it comes to the athletics. Ardon went to his very first football game at GS, and he said the basketball games are incredible.

“Supporting the Eagles was a whole different feeling … it was like on the movies, you see when parents go with their kids on a Sunday evening to watch baseball game. So, basically, I got to do that over here right with friends,” said Ardon.

Coming to Southern opened Ardon up to so many opportunities he wouldn’t have had at home.

Ardon started a softball intramural team with his friends, which he has enjoyed because he has a lifelong love of baseball.

“I think that was the best part of my first year–that I found it,” said Ardon. “It had been like 10

STUDENTS years since I had last played the baseball, and nobody back in Honduras plays baseball, everyone just does soccer, and here I got to play baseball with friends and [it] was amazing.”

Daniel Filipovic, a senior undergraduate exchange student from the city of Graz in Austria, said his favorite thing about college so far has been the sports and the enthusiasm around sports. He wanted to come to a Division I school and experience game days and basketball games.

“I’m playing basketball at home, and the situation in Europe is different because the education and the sports are separated,” Filipovic said.

Filipovic, sports science major, said when he had a sports management class here, he was impressed by the teacher and by how the organization works. By coming here, he said he knows now what he wants to do with his life and that he wants to work for this industry.

Lindsay Truscott, a current graduate assistant from Johannesburg, South Africa who earned her bachelor’s in accounting at GS, came to GS because she was recruited to play tennis. She said it’s kind of the norm now if you play tennis in South Africa and you want to play tennis when you graduate from high school that

you come to the US. Truscott said that in Africa, sports are not such a big thing and that their main sports are rugby and cricket.

Family & Food When asked what they missed most about home, the students often mentioned food.

Anumba misses his mother’s fried chicken most of all. Vilar, whose mom owns a bakery back in Brazil, said she was used to good food anytime she wanted.

Vilar, formerly a professional ballerina in Brazil until she was fourteen, said she loves to eat organic food, eat healthy and exercise a lot. So, when she came here and saw how much society eats fast food, it wasn’t what she was used to.

Vilar also said she has seen how much a country can grow through capitalism.

Anumba echoed this sentiment.

“I just think that there’s so much preservative in American foods,” Anumba said. “Kind of not healthy.”

Of course, the students also greatly miss their families and home countries as well.

Ardon misses the mountains. He said Honduras is a mountainous country.

“If I drove like three minutes, I would be on a mountain

already. And here, I have to drive five hours to north Georgia or Tennessee to start seeing some mountains, and I miss that landscape,” said Ardon.

He also misses the traditional Honduran dishes.

“Like, I follow so many hundred pages on Instagram and I get to see all those those traditional dishes, and it hurts,” said Ardon.

He said he can kind of find some ways of recreating them over here. El Riconcito Americano has a small shop where you can find imported goods from Mexico and Central America. He added they have chips you can only buy back home.

He said he really misses his family as well.

“I have a pretty big family where there is six of us with my parents,” said Ardon. “So we had a very loud and busy house–very messy also….right now, I don’t have a roommate, so basically I’m the only one that makes a mess. I’m the only one that makes noise in there.”

Ardon feels he’s grown closer to his family since being at GS because he talks to them more.

Changes & Challenges Emma Tirlot, international trade and Chinese major from France, said it wasn’t that

difficult to adapt to America, but it can be hard when you’re in a different culture.

“I was kind of by myself with my culture, and you cannot express yourself in the same way sometimes which is sometimes can be hard, especially if it’s a lot going on in your life,” said Tirlot.

However, Tirlot said that, with supportive friends, she was fine.

She also said she knew a little English before coming to America, especially with the Southern accent.

“You don’t really know a language until you go to the country,” said Tirlot.

Obstacles she had to face were language barriers and being away from her family during important holidays.

Coming to France, Tirlot’s biggest fear was making friends. She said this has gone very well for her.

Filipovic said the biggest change he’s experienced going from Austria to America are the living conditions.

He said that items that are essential for life, such as toilet paper and toothbrushes, are very expensive in the US, and health insurance here is also expensive.

In contrast, Filipovic said that in Europe, you get all this stuff mostly for free or really cheap because health insurance, for example, is free.

REFLECTOR September 2020 | 33

Emma Tirlot France

Daniel Filipovic Austria

Maria Vilar Brazil

Manuel Abadie Ardon Honduras

34 | REFLECTOR September 2 0 2 0

Stephanie Gomez Hernandez, civil engineering major from Honduras, said her favorite thing about America so far is that water is free. In Honduras, she has to pay for water when she goes to restaurants. She also thinks big cities are really pretty with, Chicago being her favorite.

Hernandez said that being here has given her a different perspective. She said the issues here are different than back home, so she’s able to get her own opinion.

Filipovic also discussed how culture was a big difference as well. He said the mindset of the people here in comparison to Europe is different when it comes to church. Filipovic, who is Catholic, said that religion is bigger here than in Europe because new generations don’t go to church as much anymore.

Ardon said that his city of Tegucigalpa has over one million people.

“Coming from a big, crowded city down here is a pretty big change, especially because back there if I want to go somewhere, I would use a car,” said Ardon. “Over here, if I want to go to Walmart, I would either have to pay Uber or ride my bike.”

His biggest struggle has been learning to live on his own, especially when it comes to food. He also found it challenging to not be much in touch with his friends from Honduras.

Ardon had many fears before coming to America, including harder classes and being made fun of for his Crocs.

“I used to see memes on Instagram about how they would roast people that wore Crocs. And I was, like, should I bring my Crocs? Should I not bring them?“ Ardon knew the crocs were a good decision because he had 8 a.m. classes.

Ardon was also worried he wouldn’t fit in culturally. He added that when he came to GS, there was a huge sentiment against immigrants.

“So I was worried about that, especially because I’m coming to the south. So that was one of the biggest fears I had while coming here that I would find some kind of rejection just because I’m from Central America,” said Ardon.”

Ardon said he knows that coming to GS was the right decision and that he has no regrets.

Truscott said she said she thinks the biggest obstacle for international students is that you start to miss home quite a bit, and it’s not that easy just to get home. To get home, Truscott has to take a 16 hour flight which means she can’t just go home for a week or a weekend. She said it is a solid six months before she sees her family.

“So, I think that’s the biggest obstacle for all of us is learning how to deal with the homesickness that comes with it because, I mean, it never goes away,” Truscott said. “It’s just you learn to manage it better.”

One way Truscott manages is by wearing a pendant in the shape of Africa.

“So, have you heard the saying your home is where your heart is? Yeah, so, my heart’s physically right here right now,” Truscott said. “So, Statesboro is home. And then I always have this on my necklace.” She held up her pendant.

“So, it’s an African pendant with a heart right where South Africa is. So, that’s where the heart is.”

She also talks to her family really often, which helps her manage homesickness as well, and she said the busier you are, the less time you have to think about how much you miss home.

Vilar also talked about her family and what it is like not always being able to go home.

“I learned that life can be really challenging,” Vilar said. “Like, for me, I lost my granddad and my great grandma in the same week last year, and I lost my uncle, and I wasn’t in Brazil. And that hurt a lot, but it makes me grow up, you know? And it makes me realize that what I’m doing here is not because it’s cool to study in the US. It’s a greater purpose.”

Vilar said she also misses her 12-yearold yorkie named Pink.

Maria Gonzalez Bocanegra, sophomore electrical engineering major from Honduras, misses her family, friends, and food.

“The overall culture is so much different … Because here it’s very, like, there’s this distance. There’s a bubble between people, and back in Honduras, whenever you say hi to someone, you go hug them and kiss them. Here it’s like, ‘Hey, how’s it going’ from afar. It’s just like that relation, you have a more emotional connection with people.”

Misconceptions & Facing Racism Vilar said an obstacle she has faced at Georgia Southern is racism, unfortunately. She said that even though she looks white, people still come up to her and say things like “well, you’re not white. Like, what are you doing here?”

Vilar said one time she was in class, and a girl asked why people like Vilar would come here to steal their jobs.

However, Vilar described the Latin community at GS as super welcoming.

“They make sure that you feel at home there,” Vilar said. “The international office also wants to make sure that you are 100% safe. You’re 100% okay with what’s going on in your life.”

Designed by Aminatta Mbow Photos by Shaun Boyce, Isis Mayfield, Tamara Tanskley, annd Noelle Walker

Anumba said he wishes more people understood the accents of international students.

Vilar also brought up language.

She said that a big thing is that people don’t know that Brazilians speak Portuguese.

Another thing that Vilar wants people to understand is that Brazil is not only what is pictured in movies.

“We’re not only gorgeous women with perfect bodies and soccer,” she said. “We’re not just that. We’re a country that has a lot of potential to grow.”

She said to think about all the people out there changing the world not just through something like soccer but also with research and with innovation and with all those different things that are from her country.

“Our culture is just like we are,” Vilar said. “We are raised to explore.

We’re explorers.”

Truscott said that she thinks a lot of people have a preconceived idea of what South Africa looks like, but it’s not really like that. She said she gets a lot of questions, such as whether lions walk around freely or if they have ACs. “And we are a pretty developed country,” Truscott said. “We do have a lot of British and US influences.”

Truscott also said that she feels like people have been really understanding of her and they’ve always always been really willing to learn about her culture.

“So, I’ve never actually felt like I’ve been judged or misunderstood for being international, which has been really nice and comforting,” Truscott said.

Opportunities & Ambition Bocanegra said she learned freedom in the U.S. “What I learned is freedom and how you should respect how much freedom you have here and how you have to set boundaries for yourself,” said Bocanegra.

Life here has changed Bocanegra.

“I know my limits and then I try to go after my goals here as well.

So I find there’s such a freedom for me to pursue what I want here,” said Bocanegra.

Ardon thought there was a big international community at Georgia Southern. He was accepted into the honors program and saw an aerospace combustion lab, and aerospace is what he wants to focus his mechanical engineering degree in.

Vilar wants to work with biomedical engineering. Right now, while her major is mechanical engineering, her minor is biology. She plans to get her master’s in biomedical engineering.

Vilar said she loves to be able to work with biology and medical devices combined with technology.

“I love how that can help so many different people, people that really need it,” Vilar said. “Like my grandma.

She has lupus, and one of my uncles-he doesn’t have one of his arms, and it would be great if I could develop something that could help one of them.”

Vilar was also diagnosed with arthritis when she was 14.

“So, I wanted to combine both [science and math] and try to do something to help people. Not only be, you know, doing what everyone else is doing like go into medical school or something like that. So, actually innovate.”

Tirlot said there are a lot of opportunities in America. She said in France they don’t have student organizations or professor office hours. She said she was able to achieve so much in her academic career that she wouldn’t have been able to in France.

“I feel like everybody here is he’s here for you, for you to succeed,” said Tirlot. “And I think that’s really great.”

She’s learned to be more open minded and how to adapt to a different culture and not be afraid to live in another culture during her time in America.

“Mostly, I would say to accept every belief and be really open minded. I think that’s the thing I learned the most,” said Tirlot.

Life in America has changed her.

“It changed me so much. Like, I really grew as a person, and ... coming here helped me to figure out who I wanted to become and what I want to do in life,” said Tirlot.

Truscott said incoming international freshmen should try to get as involved as possible because the most difficult thing is having to do this alone.

“So if you have friends, and you have things to do, and you feel like you’re making a difference, it just makes you feel so much better,” Truscott said. “And one great thing about Georgia Southern is I’ve never felt judged. They’ve been very accepting of who I am, and people will always ask questions instead of just assuming, which I admire so much…Georgia Southern’s been some of the best years of my life.”

Stephanie Gomez Hernandez Honduras

Maria Gonzalez Bocanegre Honduras

Henry Anumba Nigeria

Lindsay Truscott South Africa

By: Aubrey Brumblow & Noelle Walker

REFLECTOR September 2020 | 35

FINDING SUCCESS: Having been a first generation college student herself makes Harris give 150% to her job. There are a lot of good resources on campus, but Harris wants her students know that no matter what she is there for them. She said she is always going to make sure her students are taken care of because she wants them to feel that they are supported and are being set up for success.

Harris feels that the first generation college student population at GS is many times overlooked.

“We sometimes talk about how these identities are what you would consider to be invisible identities, right?” said Harris.

“And so I’m a woman of color and you can see that, but you can’t tell that I’m firstgen unless I tell you, and so it’s important for for students to be able to recognize

Percentage of First Generation Students at Georgia Southern

27.7

Fall 2016

Fall 2017

34.1

Fall 2018

23.5

0

5

10

15

Percentage

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20

25

30

35

40

Photos by Shaun Boyce, Tamara Tanskley, and Noelle Walker

Leslieann Harris, Director of TRIO Student Support Services TRIO Student Support Services (SSS) at GS offers many services to students who qualify, including mentoring, financial

literacy counseling, individualized academic advising and priority tutoring.

Leslieann Harris, director of TRIO SSS, earned her Bachelor’s of Science in psychology and a Master’s of Science degree in college student personnel administration. She also plans on getting her educational doctorate degree (EDD).

It is important for Harris to see the program succeed because she is also a first generation college student. She was involved in TRIO SSS when she was an undergraduate, and she credits her success today to that program.

“When the opportunity came for me to work here, I was incredibly excited to be able to give back to the organization that I credit with my success, and I have been able to reap the benefits of a TRIO program,” said Harris.

Designed by Dalis Worrell

Over the past five years at Georgia Southern, there has been a steady increase in the percentage of first generation college students, with the highest being a rise from 27.7% in Fall 2016 to 34.1% in Fall 2017. However, in Fall 2018, the number dropped down to 23.5%.

Being a First Generation College student is a great accomplishment but also comes with many obstacles--beyond even that of tuition. I spoke with a number of first generation college students about their stories while also offering an indepth look at the TRIO Student Support Services program offered here at GS.

Designed by Dalis Worrell Photos by Shaun Boyce, Tamara Tanskley, and Noelle Walker

that part of them, and I think take pride.

Just because that’s a part of them does not mean that they cannot succeed. So, I’m excited about the work that we do here in this office.”

The biggest challenge Harris faced was her pride. She described herself as being very stubborn when she entered college.

“So I was like I’m from the hood, like I’m from this rough part of town, and I’ve been able to overcome that and make it to college by myself, so I had this mentality like I didn’t need anyone’s help,” said Harris.

When Harris failed her first test, she realized she was not going to be able to do this by herself. She said she needed to get over her pride and get help.

Harris found herself comparing herself to others who have come from a family of college graduates.

“And so I remember going to college and having friends who were freshmen like me driving like Lexuses and BMWs … and be able to call their parents and their parents help them with money for books or give them money for this and that, and I was like, I have to work four campus jobs to be able to do stuff like that and so there was a lot of comparing, but being involved in programs like TRIO helped with that because I was surrounded by students who were just like me,” said Harris.

Harris is very determined and has received a lot of support from her parents. She’s also the fourth of six children, and her mother has always told her she needs to be the one to

make it out and make a difference.

“I like what I do here on Georgia Southern’s campus because I get to work with students who like me have to go through the obstacles of being firstgen,” said Harris. “I’m very open with students about my story because I want them to know that you can overcome this, you can make it, you can achieve your your goals and your dreams.”

What College Means to Her “I think in terms of being first-gen and being from a low-income background, college means ability to be able to move not only current generations but future generations of your family forward and being able to build a stronger foundation in the hopes of being able to build generational wealth,” said Harris.

Chloe Johnsen Growing up, Chloe Johnsen, freshman Biochemistry major, experienced several instances of housing insecurity and homelessness. Her parents had gotten divorced, and her dad lost his job at the same time.

In 2008, she lived in motels with her dad and three little brothers for about a year when she was six years old.

In 2012, she couch surfed at her aunt’s with her mom and brothers for about three months when she was 10 or 11 after her mother’s breakup with her current boyfriend at the time.

In 2016, she lived in her father’s car and RV with her little brothers for a period about four or five months when she was 15.

During this time, Johnsen felt very stressed.

“And all my friends were having sleepovers and stuff like that,” said Johnsen. “It was that season where everyone has a birthday. And I couldn’t invite anyone over to my house and I always had to make up an excuse for why I couldn’t do this or that thing or why I couldn’t hang out with them because I didn’t have any money. And so it was just really, really depressing and stressful.”

Everything took much longer than it had before, and she had almost no free time. Johnsen had to take showers at a gym that her dad had a membership to. “ Instead of it taking like 20 minutes to get ready for school, it took like three hours because we had to drive to the shower. We had to find somewhere where we could change like a public bathroom.”

Johnsen also found herself struggling academically. She explained that it was really hard because teachers would assign things that she just couldn’t do. Johnsen didn’t have a place to study, and she didn’t have a laptop or television, so anything to do with technology was nearly impossible.

She said she spent a lot of time going to McDonald’s and using the WiFi on a Blackberry to do homework.

“I almost failed English because I didn’t have anywhere where I could study,” said Johnsen. “I didn’t have a place to sit down because I was always in a cramped car or hotel room.”

She was getting little sleep, averaging five to six hours a night. When sleeping in the car, her dad took out most of the

REFLECTOR September 2020 | 37

Chloe Johnsen

seats. Johnsen slept in the back seat, and her brothers slept where the middle seats would be. Her dad would sleep leaning back in the driver’s seat. She did not feel safe the nights she had to sleep in the car because her dad didn’t have a good neighborhood they could stay in.

“Many of these neighborhoods were crime ridden and dangerous at night and the ones that weren’t had neighborhood watches that wouldn’t let us stay,” said Johnsen.

“Even when we tried staying in more safe, suburban neighborhoods, just being out in the open in the minimal security offered by a car made me nervous because breaking in was super easy.”

The biggest thing Johnsen struggled with was coming to terms with the fact that she wasn’t going to be comfortable anymore.

Johnsen wouldn’t entirely skip meals very often, but she would never have a lot of food to eat.

“There weren’t very many occasions where I had to,” Johnsen said. “I remember one specific time that I was with my dad, and he had like two cans of Chef Boyardee ravioli for me, and I have three little brothers, and we had to stay with him for like four days, and that’s all the food we had.”

The hardest thing about not having a permanent

residence was letting down her little brothers. At the time that the biggest problems occurred, they didn’t know exactly what was going on and thought of the situation as being a road trip. They would always ask to do something fun like go to the movies.

“I guess my parents were just sad or whatever because they kind of put the burden on me to like let them down, so making sure that they knew we were okay, I guess,” said Johnsen.

Johnsen spoke out against the stigma with homelessness.

“I think most people assume that homelessness is due to like a personal failing,” said Johnsen. “Like you didn’t work hard enough or you didn’t try. But I know both my parents spent so long looking for jobs, and my dad was laid off at his job. He was Installation Manager at a big construction company before that, and the divorce cost a lot of money. So we were homeless, not because they failed as people but because you have situations come up that we have no control over.”

She wishes people would know that it’s not entirely your fault if you’re homeless.

And that people who are homeless are good, kind people who are trying their best.

What got her through those hard times was

38 | REFLECTOR September 2 0 2 0

knowing there would be a way out and knowing that God would bring them through it.

After four years of searching, her dad found a job, and her mom has started her own business.

To those who may be experiencing homelessness, Johnsen said to know there’s always a way out. There’s always help you can get.

Johnsen didn’t think she would make it to a fouryear college during this time. Even though going to college was something she always wanted to do, she did not think she would be able to afford it but figured she could get some kind of scholarship, possibly to a community college.

Her biggest obstacles getting into college were making the grades so that she could get scholarships and figuring out how to afford it. To get over this obstacle, she tried to work hard every day.

Johnsen decided to go to college because she always thought that she wanted to go into the medical field and the best way to help people was with a degree. She noted that nowadays there’s not a well-paying job one can get without a college degree.

She felt that Georgia Southern was the best option for her because the campus is fairly close to her house, so she could have stayed at home to avoid dorm costs if

necessary.

When she got accepted, Johnsen was so excited. She told every person she knew that she got into college.

However, she also had some anxieties as well.

“My biggest anxiety was that I wouldn’t make it here,” said Johnsen. “Like I wouldn’t have what it takes.”

Johnsen sometimes finds herself comparing herself to others who have come from a family of college students.

“Sometimes my friends will talk about their family or they’ll like show me pictures of like Christmas time, and you can tell it’s just people who haven’t really struggled in their life,” said Johnsen.

“I kind of feel a little bitter every now and then. But you know, I know it’s not their fault so I try to get over that.”

Her biggest obstacle she’s faced as a first-year, firstgeneration college student is that her mom doesn’t really understand it.

“She’s very excited for me, and she tries to be happy about it, but money’s tight, and she kind of wants me to get a job and I’m telling her like, ‘I don’t have the time to get a job right now, like my schedules too busy.’

And she’s saying like, ‘well, maybe you should pick different classes,’ like she doesn’t understand it.’”

She has gone to the success center a couple times and has joined a Bible study on campus.

What College Means to Her “It’s hope for a good future because I don’t know if any of my brothers are gonna take the college route,” said Johnsen. “And one way or another, you know, I want my family to have some kind of support, and so I hope I can be that.”

Rachel Rubio Rachel Rubio, junior Spanish and Philosophy double major, always desired to go to college.

“I decided to go because …

I really want to do something important with my life, like affect other people. And I felt like going to college was the best way to do that,” Rubio said.

Rubio is from New Jersey, and GS is far away from her home, which is why she was unsure of coming here.

However, when she visited a friend going to SCAD, she visited the GS campus.

“I came and I visited and I absolutely loved it,” said Rubio. “I love the campus. I love the southern hospitality.

That is not something you find in New Jersey, New York area–people are not as nice.

And so I really just love the atmosphere and the culture, and I got accepted into the Honors Program, and they are helping me financially, so that was a very big factor.

And it was just where I felt I needed to be and where I could succeed and be challenged.”

Rubio said college didn’t seem attainable because she

didn’t believe she’d be able to overcome the loans–she found it scary. However, now she believes she’ll overcome this.

She faced a financial struggle getting into college. “[My parents] love me and care about me a lot, but they’re not able to support me in that way, really,” said Rubio. “And so I kind of had to decide whether I wanted to take on that burden of loans because they’re real.”

The biggest obstacle getting into college was the application process.

Rubio’s parents never went to college, and her brother went to an in-state school that had an easy process.

Rubio struggled with travel expenses and application fees. She didn’t apply to many colleges solely because of the application fee, but she’s happy with where she is.

She had doubted she would get accepted, so when she found out she got accepted into Georgia Southern, she was ecstatic.

She added that it was a huge deal, and when she told her family about her acceptance, they were so supportive, posted about her acceptance on social media everywhere and told all their friends.

“I don’t know why I really doubted that that was a possibility,” said Rubio. “But when I did get accepted, I was like, ‘Oh my gosh, I’m actually going to be able to do something important and accomplish something for my family, especially

because no one in my family has gone to college. Some of them haven’t even finished high school... Most my family’s in Columbia, South America, and family is a really important aspect in Hispanic culture.”

However, Rubio had anxieties before coming to GS. She went to a small school with a graduating class of around 22 people. She was scared of being away from what was familiar at a much larger school and knowing her parents wouldn’t be able to support her financially like they had before.

Rubio finds herself comparing herself to others who come from a family of college graduates. She said she has a lot of friends whose parents went to college, so they’re familiar with the process like what happens when you go to college and get out of college.

“And I just have a really different experience. And so I’m like, ‘Am I going to be able to succeed in the way that they’re succeeding?’ ‘Am I going to be able to measure up?’” said Rubio.

She also said a lot of people whose parents have gone to college tend to be a little wealthier.

“And so it’s hard...People want to go to like, Mellow Mushroom every night or whatever,” said Rubio. “And that’s just not something I can do, and it’s been hard to say no. And I compare myself often to that as well.”

Rubio feels that first

generation college students are “thrown into a parade and expected to know how we’re supposed to succeed.”

She said not being familiar with what she’s supposed to be doing is hard. Financially, it is hard as well because she wants to keep up GPA but also needs money, so she has to get a job.

“Just because it comes with like obstacles doesn’t mean that it’s impossible,” Rubio said.

Rubio’s biggest struggle has been everyone expecting you to figure out your life in four years.

“That’s not how life works,” said Rubio. “You can’t just like say, ‘Okay, this is what I’m going to going to do. And I’m going to do it for the rest of my life.’ … There’s just so much possibility in front of me that it’s kind of hard to stay focused on school when I’m like, ‘What am I going to do after I graduate?’ ” Rubio started with the TRIO program through SSS her sophomore year, and they paired her with her mentor Penny.

Rubio said her mentor has been a great source of comfort and familiarity throughout college. She said Penny has been a great resource to know what is available to Rubio on campus as a first-generation college student. She said Penny holds her accountable and teaches her what she’s supposed to be doing.

Rubio also likes going to the TRIO talks offered on the

Rachel Rubio

REFLECTOR September 2020 | 39

Fred Smith campus.

“Even if I don’t learn anything new, being around people that are also going through the same struggles and us verbalizing it, saying it out loud, makes it real and it makes it like I can recognize that there are people who are around me who are also going through the same things and that it’s possible to succeed,” said Rubio.

Rubio also just joined the McNair Scholars Program, which is a post baccalaureate research program that helps you get her Ph.D. “So it kind of like levels the playing field for first-gen versus non first-gen because you actually know what kind of research you should be doing, when you should be doing it, how to make your resume look...all that basic stuff that you really should be learning in high school, but you don’t,” said Rubio.

Rubio advises high schoolers planning to go to college to ask questions. She said there are no stupid questions, but it’s stupid not to ask.

“Because your parents aren’t gonna know,” said Rubio.

“Maybe some parents will, but my parents had no idea. They could not help me at all.

And so you need to take the initiative, and if you

want to succeed, and for whatever reason you’re going to college, whether it’s because you love academia and you want to just immerse yourself in it or you want to make your parents proud or… whatever the reason is, you need to take the initiative.”

Rubio said she would offer the same advice to first generation college students already in college but also urges them to seek out experiences that will help them grow as a person and academically.

“You know, research might not sound attractive to everyone, but it’s important. So put yourself out there and don’t close yourself off to opportunities.”

What College Means to Her Rubio said she thinks a lot of times most people think of college as just “more school.” While she admits there’s a lot of truth to that, she describes it as the largest growing experience you’ll ever get. It’s a place where you’re surrounded by people your age who are interested and invested in you.

“And so college is like a place where you’re paying for an experience that will help you grow as a person emotionally,

40 | REFLECTOR September 2 0 2 0

physically, mentally,” said Rubio. “It’s just such a great growing experience.

And it’s not just academic.

And people like get so focused on their classes and their schoolwork that they forget to spend time with the people who they’re with … like everyone is important and playing a role in your life and just like slow down and take that in because it’s not going to really happen again.”

Fred Smith Fred Smith, a senior Economics major, said college always seemed like it was there for him.

“It was just something I could do if I tried, and I was always motivated by my parents to go try it go do it,” said Smith.

Smith was a part of Upward Bound in high school, which is a TRIO program. Smith said it was a part of his motivation to go to college.

His biggest obstacles getting into college were his test scores because he’s not the best test-taker, so he did the success program at GS.To overcome his obstacles, he tried to study more,attended TRIO Upward Bound and went to SSS. He tried to study more and attended TRIO Upward Bound and went to SSS.

Smith said there was a financial struggle getting into college because his parents are low-income, but SSS helped him his first year, and he got a job as a Resident Advisor in housing.

He felt relieved after getting into college but still felt a little anxiety because there were a lot of unknowns.

“I felt a sense of relief because I know where I’m going,” said Smith. I know that it’s a good school.

I know that I’m here because I want to be, and it was more of a feeling of excitement and a little bit of … anxiety.”

With mentors and help, Smith said he is doing pretty well.

Smith’s biggest struggle in college is time management and staying financially afloat. He’s an RA going to programs, SSS programs and organization meetings along with school.His first year here, he struggled adapting to classes and tried to balance everything. It was a new experience, and he didn’t know what to look for.

Obstacles he is still facing is figuring out what’s next for him, whether that be continuing his education, getting a job or finding the best options for going into entry-level positions.

TRIO has impacted

Smith positively, saying that they’re really good at supporting students.

“They’re really good at supporting me, helping to talk to [me about] what I need to do and they’re really good at giving me programs I can go to in order to help me or to help better me in education and help better my lifelong skills.”

He was in TRIO in high school as well and had a positive experience with them, so he joined again in college.

“People at SSS has helped me throughout the way,” said Smith.

“They’re really great people, and if you ever needed help or anything, they’re great to go to. And they’re always there to guide you along the way.”

What College Means to Him “What college means to me is findingw ways to better understand the people around you, opening your mind to new ideas and new challenges … and building the soft and hard skills in order for you to build a team and be on a team, be a team player and be a leader as well,” said Smith.

GS Resource: TRIO Student Support Services Students are eligible for Student Support Services if they fall under at least one of three qualifications: first generation college student, low-income students (who receive the PELL grant) or a student with a disability.

Penny Hendrix, success coach and mentor at SSS, has been working for the TRIO program since June 2016.

The grant that funds the SSS only allows them to serve 144 students. However, they

help more than that on a waiting list. While they cannot give them financial assistance until they’re accepted into the program, they still provide them with all their other services. She said they’re probably serving 150 students currently.

Each participant is assigned a mentor who they meet frequently throughout the semester. They also give grant aid to those who meet the criteria, and they hold group sessions bi-weekly over topics that are pertinent to first generation college students.

“Often when students are first generation, they don’t have anyone at home that can guide them,” said Hendrix.

“Financial aid can be very confusing.

Scheduling your classes can be very confusing. And while we have advisors and all different people on campus that provide those services, our services are much more one-on-one and intense.

And so we never try to be invasive in the lives of our students, but we definitely try to be very involved.”

The biggest obstacle she’s seen first generation college students face is time-management and learning how to get everything in order to meet all the requirements of going to college.

Hendrix said the main goal of the program is “doing whatever it takes to help them achieve their main goal of graduation.”

She has only seen positive affects on those who have taken advantage of the program.

“We have very few students that lose financial aid or whose GPA falls below the required GPA,” said Hendrix. “Most

What college means to me is finding ways to better understand the people around you, opening your mind to new ideas and new challenges … and building the soft and hard skills in order for you to build a team and be on a team, be a team player and be a leader as well,”

FRED SMITH of our students go on to graduate and go on to a master’s program or further. So, I feel like the support that they get here is very encouraging to them.”

Harris started working for Student Support Services in 2016 at Georgia Southern. It was brand new when Georgia Southern was awarded the grant in 2016, and she’s been here since it started.

Over the years, the program has went from just being two or three people to having a whole office. The grant is funded to serve 144 students, and they’ve been able to reach that every year. The program has been able to establish a partnership with many different department on campus, including financial aid, office of multicultural affairs and the Recreational Activity Center (RAC).

Currently, they have about 100 active students.

Harris said they try not to turn a student

away.

Because they are federally funded, students officially in the program have to meet the criteria, but they are a part of GS, so they try to help everyone. “We try not to turn a student away,” said Harris.

Harris said they try not to turn a student away.

Because they are federally funded, students officially in the program have to meet the criteria, but they are a part of GS, so they try to help everyone. Harris said that every year their graduating class gets bigger and bigger. They went from having maybe one or two students graduate the first year to about 12 who graduate from the program.

“We always tell people that those of us that work in TRIO, we are in the business of retention and graduation,” said Harris. ”So we are here to keep students at Georgia Southern and to get them to graduate from Georgia Southern.”

By: Noelle Walker

REFLECTOR September 2020 | 41

Endingg

Keto. Atkins. Celebrity endorsements and ads promising you a thin waist in 30 days. These all embody diet culture. We see it on social media on the timelines of our favorite influences and endlessly in magazine pages.

Diet culture has become so toxic and very misleading that we often see it disguised as a key to wellness.

Misconceptions

A common misunderstanding when dieting is that, if I lose weight, I am healthier which, is not the case at all.

Associate Professor of Nutrition and Food Science Amy Jo Riggs-Deckard, Ph.D., said, “Americans are really good at knowing how to lose weight. The problem is how do we maintain that weight loss and support our health.”

Many diets consist of extreme workout regimens and restrictions. Certain diets only work for a small percentage of people, but for the larger majority, the weight is usually regained.

Riggs-Deckard added that “losing the weight and then gaining it back plus more is actually harder on the body than just maintaining your current body weight.”

Another common mis un de r s t and i ng i s t ha t dieting requires consuming zero fat or gluten.

“If you ar e not g lut en sensitive then gluten should be included in your diet.

You may be missing out on the necessary vitamins and nutrients,” according to the National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases.

Stigma

Despite cliches, diet culture doesn’t just harm one body type.

“Diet culture is dangerous and harms people of all sizes,” according to Ragen Chastain, a National Eating Disorder Association (NEDA) ambassador, in “Recognizing and Resisting Diet Culture” on NEDA’s website.

Being skinny and being healthy are not synonyms just like how being fat does not equate to being unhealthy.

“When you see someone pathologizing fat bodies, you can explain that there are healthy and unhealthy people of every shape and size,” according to Chastain.

This way of thinking is a big reason why diet culture succeeds. Diet promoters push the narrative that losing a certain number of pounds and mirroring societies’ perception will bring happiness. Balance and moderation are important despite body size.

“I suggest that viewing thinness as an ideology instead of a quantifiable embodiment… [because it] allows for a critique of health itself, and provides a better model for understanding how diet culture operates insidiously in the

42 | REFLECTOR September 2 0 2 0

lives of women and girls, and increasingly of men, regardless of their body size,”according to Jennifer Dolan, a professor at the University of South Florida, in “The Promised Body: Diet Culture, the Fat Subject, and Ambivalence as Resistance.”

Lifestyle Changes

Making lifestyle changes such as incorporating fruits and vegetables and physical activity in your daily routine is going to be the best thing that you can do. In addition, making smaller changes that lead to healthy habits and weight loss over time.

“In this country, I think we tend to think all or none. and it’s really not about that,” said Riggs-Deckard.. “It’s more about moderation and variety.

And being physically active every day, be mindful when we’re eating.”

Riggs-Deckard also addeds that healthy lifestyle is 80% clean eating while the remaining 20% can be filled with foods that may not necessarily be healthy.

What does this “lifestyle change” look like?

“Drink more water, move more, eat more fruits and vegetables, watch portion sizes,” said Riggs.

Committing to making those lifestyle changes is intensive but very much achievable.

They don’t even have to be big!

Bringing water along with you to classes and setting intake goals for yourself is great. Also

packing healthier snacks such as granola or even popcorn. Pre -packed snacks keep you from vending machine temptation.

It is also important to eat breakfast daily. This can be something light such as yogurt and fruit or a little heavier like wheat toast and avocado. But skipping breakfast is never a good option.

Lastly, stay active. As college students, we are often stuck in routines that limit our mobility, such as lengthy class periods and long hour study sessions in the library. It is important to make sure you’re getting the recommended steps. Parking farther away also helps. This way you are actively moving throughout the day.

As college students, it’s important to create these healthy habits now. Eat breakfast, even if it’s something small, pack healthier snacks opting for less vending machine junk and walk (or bike) whenever you can.

“In this country, I think we tend to think all or none. And it’s really not about that. It’s more about moderation and variety. And being physically active every day, be mindful when we’re eating.”

By Kayla Winston-Bass

Designed by Cierra Horton

Diet et CCul Cultur Culture ult ultur u

Designed by Cierra Horton

Mission Statement In the Spring of 2019, Miscellany Magazine of the Arts was reborn after three years of inactivity. The Editor-inChief of the George-Anne Reflector Magazine at the time worked to get the publication running again and hired an editor.

Now a full staff, Miscellany determined that the magazine would become a creative community for Georgia Southern students. It would connect them with the creative, with everything from art to writing, and become a way for students to express themselves.

Our hope is that through community and collaboration Miscellany can become a platform for the creative voices of Georgia Southern University.

A lot of promise exists in this Miscellany to grow as a publication to serve students and nurture creativity. We strive to be a safe place where everyone and anyone can share their work and become better creators.

Staff Editor-In -Chief Noelle Walker Managing Editor Nathan Luft Assistant Editors Bailey Deal Marci Delcampo Bodie Fox Isis Mayfield Noah Rahn Brenna Salverson

Designed by Cierra Horton

“Magic is something that happens every day all around us, and it’s a pshychological phenomenon””

Finding Strength In Writing:

Payton Smith Payton Smith, psychology major, works full time at Georgia Southern’s Zach S. Henderson Library as a continuing research assistant while in pursuit of her undergraduate degree.

As a full-time employee funding her own education, Smith decided to take things slow and stretch out her undergraduate years with the intention of finishing school in six and a half to seven years.

Instead of the standard twelve to eighteen hours, she takes from three to nine hours a

semester at the most.

As a research assistant, she looks through and works with academic literature that is periodically published such as journals, periodicals, monographs—anything set that keeps being published on a schedule both electronically and physically.

She manages the university’s collection that she continually acquires new literature for and then, on top of that, she does preservation work.

“I’m the book doctor, kind of. I fix up old works and send

44 | REFLECTOR September 2 0 2 0

things to the bindery to make sure everything’s okay. It’s really fulfilling,” said Smith.

In fact, her primary goal in life is to work with accessibility of information and how people perceive it, and she hopes to one day earn a master’s degree in library and information science.

Smith is especially interested in information literacy in the sense of how people take in information through art, listening and reading.

When she is not working or studying, she freelance writes

and performs slam poetry.

Smith is currently working on an autobiographical chapbook of poetry composed of her private childhood journals that she has been writing since the age of twelve Smith was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) brought on by sexual assault, so her writing is something that she views as both therapy and a means by which to track her psychological progress of healing.

Designed by Cierra Horton

“I write to get out emotionally traumatic feelings,” said Smith.

Through the words in her chapbook, she tries to guide the reader through the development of a mental disorder by writing it into poetry.

“A s a w r i t e r, i t w a s therapeutic. It was everything that I needed to say to the person who assaulted me. It was everything I needed to say to the person I was,” said Smith.

She hopes the chapbook will become a voice for people who have experienced this kind of trauma without telling anybody.

“Looking back on those, and compiling them for this book...

It was like I could visually read and see the trauma,” said Smith. “I could go through and see different phases where I was twelve, thirteen, fourteen.

Seeing doctors for the first time and not knowing why I was blacking out entirely

because my body decided not to process anything that had happened. I just lost my memory.”

At first, the trauma did not register with her body mentally, and she began reacting to it in a physical way which led to a temporary misdiagnosis.

“I was blacking out constantly throughout high school,” said Smith.

“Just passing out, and they thought there was something neurologically wrong, but later in life, I was able to talk about it and get it out. It wasn’t until I was 20 that I told my mom or any of my family or said it out loud. PTSD formed very quickly and stifled everything about my personality. And you could see it in my writings.”

Smith said that she is a big fan of Ernest Hemingway, a fellow writer who went through some very traumatic experiences during the first world war as a volunteer ambulance driver with the American Red Cross.

“It’s really cool to see with his writing how you can actually create life out of work, said Smith. “You can see him going through different mental disorders. He goes through different phases of his writing, which are phases of his life.

And bringing that psychology element into literature is what I do.”

As a follower of paganism, writing is something that Smith also connects with on a spiritual level.

With her poem entitled “Magic is Molasses,” she intended to make magic tangible and something which you can see as a power over your mind. To Smith, magic is like the sensation one gets from molasses because it is something that does not necessarily make sense, but it is there, and it has a psychological effect.

She said that magic is something that you cannot explain and is often beyond

what we can put into words, but expressing the feelings associated with magic through writing is something she nonetheless took up as a personal challenge with “Magic is Molasses.”

“Magic is something that happens every day all around us and it’s a psychological phenomenon,” said Smith.

“We’re always ascribing certain things to something that happened [for the sake of reason] and making this magic something that’s tangible.”

Magic is not just something that she connects to on the basis of her spiritual affiliations-she also relates to it as a student of psychology.

“It kind of correlates with how, psychologically, we perceive it. Things like astrology, for example. That’s magic that’s not tangible magic.

But it’s still correlates with life like a psychological need for some order,” said Smith.

Photo by Nathan Luft

“As a writer, it was therapeutic. It was everything that I needed to say to the person who assaulted me. It was everything I needed to say to the person I was” -Smith Smith is not exclusively a poet. She has also dabbled in fiction writing. Her short-story titled “Oscillating Fan Fiction” was a fun and very imaginative piece that sat in the back of her folders for a while until she submitted it to GS’s Miscellany.

After a long hiatus, she was able to take her work as a freshman and refresh it into something more refined and beautiful.

“I have since revised it, but that’s when it was started,” said Smith. “Yeah, the idea. And I’m not sure where it came from.

But I remember seeing a fan like an actual fan, an oscillating fan, obviously, just thinking—I was reading, it was probably fanfiction honestly—and I just remember making that the pun. But it was fun to write, and that’s what I like. It’s having fun with words.”

Another thing that she said changed her life was singing in her high school chorus.

Smith went to Southeast Bulloch High School and said that participating in their music program gave her a confidence that she never thought possible. Being in the choir helped introduce her to getting things out in a selftherapeutic way, as writing did.

“This tiny little terrified fourteen-year-old, in the throes of PTSD, having absolutely nothing, to being able to share such an intimate connection with music with so many people,” said Smith.

“Because when you’re in a choir you have this connection that creates all the sound, and it just healed me when I didn’t know I needed healing. And it was my outlet.”

Despite the fact that being in Statesboro and going GS has been a largely positive experience, Smith plans to eventually move on to a different university in a bigger town or somewhere overseas,

as GS has taught her that universities are the foundation and the stepping stone of information. Nonetheless, S m i t h h a s fo u n d t h a t Statesboro, even as a small town, has given her a lot of opportunities.

“It’s something that I could only describe to people who are local because it’s the sensation that you haven’t gotten to move very far in life,” said Smith. “But at the same time looking back on it, I can see exactly how far I’ve moved and how wonderful this town has been to me, and how wonderful this university has been to me.”

As someone who grew up right outside of Statesboro, GS could not be a home away from home because she felt that she never left home. Even so, the Statesboro area is the place where she has struggled and grown, and thereby changed forever as a person.

“But while you’re headdown in the books, you know, it feels like the world’s closing in on you sometimes because it does feel like a small-feel university. . . . [but] it’s GS, the football games are like none other,” said Smith.

“In the student section, it’s camaraderie, but at the same time it’s a familiar familiarity, like your family, like you get kind of tired of it sometimes coming home from Thanksgiving, talking about politics.”

Smith further revealed that her time as a part of the writing community at GS has also been a positive and uplifting experience.

“It’s always positive. There’s not a single instance where I performed or read my poetry for Georgia Southern students where I felt a judge or where I felt out of place, and having a community that does that is just unparalleled,” said Smith.

By: Nathan Luft

REFLECTOR September 2020 | 45

Pink Over Mount Clark Matthew Tressler Photography

Magic is Molasses Payton Smith Poetry

Magic is molasses Dripping from a spoon, Sticking and oozing Its way down through your throat.

Magic is good on waffles.

I wonder what magic tastes like When it’s bad?

Burnt toast, maybe?

Crumbles of intention and evil combined to form A hockey puck that would make any morning worse.

Breakfast is magic.

We start our day with the sun Baking itself into the back of Our eyelids But the smell of bacon Wafts up from the kitchen And you keep getting upKeep setting that intention to Look forward to another breakfast.

Magic is in your mouth Behind your teeth,

46 | REFLECTOR September 2 0 2 0

Down your throat.

Milk to a newbornThat’s magic Lullabies at bedtime And saying goodnight To the moon.

Magic is born in the mouth And in the spirit of saying “I just had a feeling,” It starts in the gut And works its way back up Until the words that come out Are branded with your blessings And Sunday night prayers Mean something different entirely.

Instead of begging for a miracle, Fry it up like bacon in the morning.

Mix it together and make a scramble.

Yell when your toast burns And always cry over spilled milk.

Magic doesn’t forget to be sweet, It knows how to push your buttons In all the right ways Like the sun shining too brightly And wind whipping hair in your eyes.

Incense smoke causing an asthma attack And somehow, you’re allergic to sage?

But magic doesn’t leave When you tell it to.

Magic stays behind and Gets caught in your breath When you’re not looking.

So suddenly, you’re writing again For the first time in ten years And your new friends invite you To Waffle House for the fourth time this week But you know what?

Waffles never get old.

Uplifting

AnnaBrooke Greene 2D Art

Expressionism Skintones Jarai Finney 2D Art

The 13 Step Guide to Beating Depression Keegan Woods Poetry

1. of those “vacations,” or whatever they’re called. Someone who can afford to not work every day told me about it.

same way Damon Wayans or David Schwimmer would, things will turn out just fine.

2. cents from your mother. Because, Ma had to beat it too.

7. days a week that are yours to make the most of. Don’t let anyone fuck up your day.

3. of your closest friends, on the back porch over a cigarette. You share a butt; you share a bond.

4. shots of whiskey, but never alone.

Even the smoothest oak barrel taste won’t mask the sadness of drinking by yourself.

8. hours of REM sleep. I fell asleep listening to R.E.M last night, you should try it.

9. is my lucky number. 9 of anything will get the job done, right?

5. slices of pizza. I prefer domino’s: it’s cheap and near my house.

10. digits you deleted, but that’s okay.

You don’t need anyone who doesn’t need you!

6. episodes of your favorite TV show.

Yes, I’m sure if you handle things the

11. reasons why you should stay in bed all day, or pack up all your shit and

move across the country, or heaven forbid, end it all 12. reasons why you absolutely fucking shouldn’t do any of those things 13. You don’t.

No one ever really does.

Same series, different episode of whatever shit-show the universe wrote for us this week.

We put depression in a rear naked choke until it submits, or until our muscles give out.

And we give in.

REFLECTOR September 2020 | 47

Oscillating Fan Fiction Payton Smith Fiction

Sitting in the corner, humming his effortless drone, was the fan. His wide base sat at the edge of the rug, and his thin body vibrates with his spinning blades and turning neck. Sometimes, when he was facing just the right way, he could see her. His breeze made her shiver and dance, and the flicker of her fabric was magical. The drapes were the fan’s reason for blowing, but she could never know that. After all, he was a lowly appliance, and she was imported silk. The fan was stuck where he was all day, blowing this way and that, heaving great sighs of loneliness and longing. He wonders to himself what life would be like if he were the carpet, spreading his long arms out to touch everything in sight. Would she notice him then? Or, if he was the armchair next to the window, could he touch her then? He turns again, this time stretching his reach as much as he could, and blew the biggest gust of air towards her, hoping she would notice.

The drapes gave a little ripple, acknowledging his efforts and greeting the fan with a wave.

On days like this, he’s happy to be at work, huffing and puffing away for her. Any other time, he would squeak and moan and complain about being plugged in all day. Sometimes, he believes that he serves no purpose. No people even sit in this room half of the time, and when they do, they turn him off because it’s too cold. The fan often just contemplates the reason for his existence. His love resides on the other end of the room, just out of reach. He has no friends to speak with or complain to.

His people don’t use him. And yet, he still buzzes away.

Suddenly, he hears the clicking of footsteps coming down the hall. He stands up straight and at attention. The young girl that lives in the house comes in the small room wearing her yellow sundress, with a book in her hand. She hums her own tune as she sits herself down in the armchair and opens up her book.

Curious, the fan lingers his gaze at the little girl every time that he passes her by. The end of her dress ruffles up for the third time or so when she finally notices him. Slowly getting up from the chair, the girl gets up and walks over to the fan, unplugging him. Of course, she had gotten tired of him. That’s what they always do, he thinks to himself. But the little girl takes him by surprise, lifting him by his thin metal body and walking him towards the outlet closer to the chair, right next to the window.

Right next to the drapes.

He practically laughs with happiness as she plugs him back in, his blades spinning again. The drapes dance next to him in ways that he had never seen before, with his breeze billowing her fabric in every direction. His sighs become content, and the little girl returns to reading her book, blissfully unaware of the new purpose that she had given him. And now, his head turns back and forth once again, looking at the world from a new angle.

Stardust

Aminatta Mbow Photography

48 | REFLECTOR September 2 0 2 0

Glass

Brigid O’Connor 2D Art

Avalanche Marisa Davis Poetry

It’s cold and lonely beneath the snow.

Everything changed in an instant.

One moment everything was warm and happy, Family and love and all things were right with the world.

But now I’m feeling sadness and loss like never before.

I’ve been under an avalanche before.

My family seems drawn to the feeling of not feeling.

Although, this one is bigger, colder, and more isolating than before.

While the avalanche has come and gone, The aftermath remains.

They say the sun will rise again And when it does, the snow will melt.

Then I can love and smile again, But until then…

I’m stuck.

REFLECTOR September 2020 | 49

COVID-19 Due to Covid-19, Georgia Southern, along with colleges across the nation, transitioned to online courses for the remainder of the semester.

Jordan Jackson, a junior RH pitcher, pitches in a game against Ball State

Photos by Kristen Ballard, Isis Mayfiled, and Tamara Tanskley

The Clothesline Project: a T-shirt display to honor and empower victims of Sexual Assault and other interpersonal violence.

Destini Goins poses on the runway of the Uncivilized Society: A Fashion Extravaganza.

Darke Battle, station manager at WVGS, speaking during show. The radio station celebrated 50his |radio REFLECTOR September 2020 it’s 100 year anniversary this past spring

SGA President Juwan Smith resigns from his position.

Ike Smith, senior guard, protects the basketball against a rival Georgia State player.

Victoria Stavropoulos, senior forward, prepares for the basketball game during the pregame show.

Intercollegiate Studies Institute group advertise new club chapters with controversial signs.

REFLECTOR September 2020 | 51

GS softball team supports their teammate who’s up to bat.

BECAUSE COLLEGE ISN'T JUST A PHASE, IT'S A LIFESTYLE

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