MIND THE GAP

Despite the emphasis on accountability in youth today, generations prior experienced age gaps as a societal norm. Whether it be twenty years or centuries ago, having an older partner was not a wild occurrence. In the current decade, intense couple age gaps are not the most prominent relationship out there, but they are hard to miss once you become aware of them. A rude awakening comes when you realize what you thought was a father-and-daughter duo is actually a romantic couple. Although age-gap relationships garner mixed reactions, most people protest the idea that love can be found within anyone, regardless of age and experience.

Society copes with uncomfortable age gaps through the use of candid language. Older women become ‘cougars,’ and older men are usually just called creeps. Not to mention how the media glorifies and influences the desire for trophy wives and arm candy for men to appear attractive. When stars like Leonardo DiCaprio exclusively date women in their twenties, the internet releases a collective sigh, perpetually accustomed to these shared problematic preferences. This phenomenon is backed up by research from sources like the Zoosk dating app, which finds that over half of the male population is attracted to younger women. However, there’s no surprise there.

However, times are changing as older women who go after much younger men aren’t as accepted as in past times. Today’s women are held to the same standard as men and called out for inappropriate behavior. Hence Sam and Aaron Taylor-Johnson with an age gap of 23 years. The couple has garnered endless criticism on the internet, with fans begging for a divorce on behalf of Aaron. Still, many women are in relationships with men between two and twenty years younger than them, according to an analysis of U.S. Census Bureau data, matching the stereotype of the opposite gender. However, it’s important to note that love has no expiration date. Everyone deserves to experience it regardless of age, but not without skepticism from anyone with an opinion.

Power imbalances are a major issue in Hollywood today and in the past, prompting the question: Is love actually love if someone has power, knowledge, and age as an advantage over their partner?

The line between age gaps and grooming isn’t always obvious, but the signs become clear when celebrities are under the microscope. If one person in a relationship is a minor when they meet their much-older partner, it’s often a case of grooming and can feed off of naivety and inexperience.

Society is shaped to frown upon the abuse of power, although this persists despite common guidelines in the workplace and beyond. Whether it be professors and students, directors and actors, or CEOs and employees, relations acted upon by power imbalances continue. Victim blaming also tends to happen often in cases of power abuse, especially when the younger part of a couple is above the age of consent, even if they were manipulated by the situation. Demi Lovato and Wilmer Valderrama are an example of this because, at the time, the former couple had a twelve-year age gap which contributed to problems in the relationship and led to their demise.

The constant comparisons of couples are everywhere on social media. It’s easier to think about a couple’s age gap in terms of their past experiences when contrasted with the other person in the relationship. If one partner was in diapers while another graduated college, how can the union be moral? Socially acceptable guidelines have been created over time, like the “half-your-age-plus-seven” rule, which exists to shape the views of proper relationships. Some people argue if age gaps should actually depend on age, or rather if they should be dependent on maturity and stages in life.

Some age gaps are undetectable such as with Dwyane Wade and Gabrielle Union, who have an age gap of ten years, while others are glaringly obvious. Sarah Paulson and Holland Taylor have a gap of 32 years, which is defined by the preference and attraction of both partners.

Although we can’t all be high school sweethearts and meet at the same time in life, it’s important to consider how much of an age gap is actually tolerable. When thinking about age, it often resides on the same level as other differences like culture, background, and language: the fundamental aspects that shape who a person is. So, are age gaps so highly contested because we fear aging itself? Maybe, so.

The history of age gaps in the media is widely observed, and being in the spotlight undoubtedly contributes to the pressures of relationships and life choices. Looking at celebrity couple age gaps instead of non-celebrity couple age gaps brings up this issue. Understanding how fanbases, fame, and expectations shape a current relationship and the ones that come after is relevant to age preferences. This could be why younger stars like Olivia Rodrigo and Sofia Richie have opted for older men.

Just a Few Years...

The psychology of age gaps lies in preferences, emotional maturity, and personal taste. Almost everyone has a ‘type,’ whether it’s physically or personality based. We’ve all experienced a celebrity crush on someone of an embarrassingly older age. As we accept the aging of celebrities while still finding them attractive, are we contributing to the uncomfortable idea of age gaps, or simply appreciating the allure of maturity?

Some celebrity couples are exactly the same age and represent the stability of commonalities like that of Kate Middleton, Prince William, Kelly Ripa, and Mark Consuelos. Yet, not as many stable relationships exist within couples that are exactly the same age versus age-gap relationships. Power couples like George and Amal Clooney, with a 17-year gap, or even Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones, who are divided by a 25-year age gap, represent the successful nature of differences in age.

As we continue to be entertained by the peculiar tastes of celebrities, let us not underestimate their enduring power. Whether you love or hate celebrity couples who happen to have an age gap, we have to admit they spark interest and bring attention to diverse relationships in a unique way.

As modern humans, we want it all. We want fortune, a great job, and the perfect life—the American dream. We have been taught that the only way to achieve this is to work ourselves to the point of mental death. When we reach this point, do we truly have it all? Also known as burnout culture, the term hustle culture was coined from the idea that overworking and not allowing yourself time to rest is the only way to be successful. If you give work your full, undivided attention, you can achieve anything you desire. Any time taken for rest should make you feel guilty.

Hustling is at an all-time high in the U.S. right now, and avoiding the pressure to push yourself to the absolute limit is nearly impossible. The average American adult spends over 2,000 hours per year at work. U.S. college students don’t fall far behind, spending around 1,700 hours per year on the clock. Keep in mind that students are expected to take 12-15 credit hours of classes per semester. This means that a student may spend anywhere from 30-50 hours in school or at work every week. As a 20-year-old sophomore in college, I am completely caught up in the hustle. Not even two years into my college career, I can declare that I am burnt out. I am exhausted. This feelingof absolute enervation got me wondering: when did this become the incentive of American society, and why?

Hustle culture is a concept that was born in the 1970s and has been a driving force for Americans since. During the 20th century, the U.S. underwent a change called the “Third Industrial Revolution.” In the late ‘40s and early ‘50s, consumers started making more money. As a result, they wanted a large variety of products to spend it on. Employees were expected to work quickly to keep up with growing consumer demand. There were no time limits on hours worked. To remain in competition with other factories, companies had to keep their costs low and their productivity high. This highly sought-after increase in productivity meant more workers needed to be added to the workforce. The oil shock of 1973 caused heavy inflation and negative shifts in the U.S. economy. Due to increasing prices, the workforce was pushed even harder than before to make the earnings necessary to provide for their families and, in many cases, to survive simply.

The birth of hustle culture was molded around societal norms during the early 20th century. In the ‘20s, the 9-5 workday emerged. During this period, women were viewed as secondary income earners. The “men of the household” were expected to provide financially. Women were expected to stay home with the kids and tend to the house.

Toward the middle of the 20th century, it became easier for women to get an education, and it became more common for women to have short-lived careers. By the 1970s, women were expected to work for most of their adult life. A change in the structure of home life occurred; we now see both parents working to provide and trying to take care of their children simultaneously. And just like that, in 1971, the term “workaholic” was brought into the English vocabulary.