So F*cking Zen

Art and Layout by sabrina sylvester

Written by

emily fiorini-casamayouret

Photography by branden connelley, caitlyn cano, and sterling smith

Styling By

ava davison and ally

Talent nelson marckender louicena once tweeted, “Kill the urge to be chosen. CHOOSE URSELF.” This quote is reflective of today’s society because the people pleasers are finally healing. Being alone with yourself can be jarring, but meditation is one way to learn to be okay with yourself. Meditation is one of the best ways to become so f*cking zen. So start to choose yourself, because others are choosing themselves too.

We are born alone, and we die alone. Morbid, yes, but it’s a hard truth that many can’t come to terms with, even in old age. Humans are social creatures. We’re meant to be community driven. However, society has turned us into self-interested mammals, no longer interested in the issues of others. While that’s a bad thing in certain aspects, it’s not entirely wrong and shouldn’t be. Some-

Stimes, people learn the hard way that things are better off prioritizing themselves. The difference is you don’t need an act of betrayal of someone you trust to start.

Choose Yourself

People aren’t people-pleasing anymore because we, specifically Gen-Z, aren’t putting up with others’ bullsh*t. This is how things should’ve been anyways, but energy vampires are everywhere. While staying away from energy-draining people is sometimes inevitable, we know to no longer feed into it. Therefore, the people pleasers will no longer be the bait to these toxic individuals.

Distancing yourself from others can be challenging but sometimes necessary. Someone may need to do this for many reasons, but it usually doesn’t end well. The other party can attack you for going ghost, and make you seem like the villain. When did society make it a bad thing to put yourself first, yet encourage others to be self-interested? Putting yourself first should be your priority at all times. While caring for loved ones is essential too, nothing should come between your necessities.

Unpopular opinion: the concept of being selfish, self-centered, and putting yourself first shouldn’t have the negative connotation it has today. It sounds a bit crazy, but it’s true. Only we know what we truly need, so why can’t we give whatever that is to ourselves? No one knows you better than you know yourself.

Those constantly seeking external validation will never experience complete satisfaction. Now read that again. It sounds harsh, but it’s another hard truth that I’m willing to share with you. I understand why many love external validation; I do too. It feels good to be supported by others in your decisions about whatever it is you just got it from. But for others, it can become obsessive, and you do things for the sole purpose of receiving external validation. The only way to truly be at peace with yourself is to hold your internal validation above the external. Once you stop depending on others to tell you that you did something right, you’ll be better off.

I know what you’re thinking, “She sounds like she’s projecting from experience. This is not her blog.” While you’re kind of right, I have a point. You only need yourself to reach that total zen many of us try so hard to find. We live in the most stressful of times. The planet is burning. Humans are killing off environments. Politics and existing as a woman. What a time to be alive. We don’t have time to worry about others except ourselves, because everyone else is too.

The people who will get mad at you for putting yourself first are the same people who benefit from you putting yourself last. Choosing yourself can get very lonely. However, there’s bliss in solitude. Embracing solitude isn’t always easy for someone who’s used to always being around others, but spending time with yourself is one of the most important things you can do as a practice of self-care.

I won’t bore you with self-care tips you’ve probably heard a million times. Except one. Meditation. We all have an image of what we think must be in our heads. Someone sitting on the floor with their legs crisscrossed and holding their hands up in the air with their eyes closed. Maybe a candle is lit, and they’re sitting on the floor. The truth is, you don’t have to be Bhudda to become so f*cking zen.