PLAYING LIFE AS A CHESS BOARD

PLAYING LIFE LIKE A CHESS GAME

Tired of my phone and trashy romance novels, I decided it was time I took up a hobby. Hence, chess. Like any self-respecting modern woman, I took to YouTube to teach myself the rules and took to Amazon to order the most ridiculous chess board that would have the queen of “Queen’s Gambit” shaking in her dull boots. I came across a list of rules entitled “FIVE CHESS OPENING RULES.” After reading through the rules, being confused, rereading them, I began thinking. Taylor Swift’s “mad woman” was playing in the background. It got me thinking, can these rules be applied to life, too? If so, are there two rule books in our world — one for the players, and one for the pieces? Double standards are prevalent, but recently seem to have resurfaced. In a time of social awareness, we are unable to shake the ghouls of gender norms.

There are different unspoken rules for everyone in society, and as much as we try to deny it, we are still collectively following the narrow rules that have been laid out for us. Back to chess: let’s investigate how these life-applicable rules must be interpreted differently based on your gender identity. 1. First rule of chess: Open with a center pawn A strong opening move. Stare down your opponent and assert your dominance with a head-on maneuver. Men do this daily with a firm handshake, a fierce glance. Everyone else must wait for a signal telling them who the dominant one is in every interaction. This rule can be read as “let your opponent open with a center pawn while you plan a move that forwards your position in the game while also not threatening your opponent’s standing.” Or maybe something a little more punchy. 2. Second rule of chess: Knights before bishops

Is this the medieval slang for “bros before hoes”? Are girls allowed a wine night like how boys observe Saturdays as their day of play? Or, in a heterosexual relationship, will the man always be allowed to put their friends before their significant other while women are expected to dote on their partner whenever he finds time to entertain her? In non-heterosexual relationships, will there always be one partner that subliminally holds the power to freely act as they please? It is apparent that severe power dynamics have become normalized within relationships. The days of the nuclear family are not far behind, even though we like to believe they are. 3. Third rule of chess: Don’t move the same piece twice

“Don’t go back for sloppy seconds” is all I am hearing. The issue with this, though: When women move on from relationships that didn’t work and find someone new, they are always blamed as the issue. A relationship fell apart because it was toxic and filled with hate? Oh, she probably nagged him too much. Not being ridiculed for their body count is a luxury heterosexual men have that they don’t even realize. You need not circle back to old partners when the world welcomes newly single you with open arms. So next time you pick up the phone to drunk-dial your ex, consider whether your desire stems from missing those nights together, or if you fear moving on because of societal stigma on having a few exes. 4. Fourth rule of chess: Try to maintain at least one pawn in the center

Keep one person at the top of the roster? Noted. But wait, women can have multiple romantic interests and avoid being berated with the most offensive insults you’ll hear in the locker room? And those in non-heterosexual relationships can keep several partners at once without receiving hateful commentary about not being able to maintain a healthy relationship? Maybe this applies to the masses, but it’s an unspoken rule that everyone except heterosexual men must keep their affairs on the down-low to avoid scaring off other potential mates. Keep it hush! 5. Fifth rule of chess: Don’t quit without a clear and adequate reason

The final and most important rule: avoid quitting unless there is a valid and specific reason why. Always push through. This is beginning to sound like a little league coach’s inspiring pregame speech. It is hammered into boys from a young age that they must always persevere no matter the circumstances. Quitting is for girls (offensive)! But the intense pressure of having to always be strong and tough is too heavy of a burden to put on men. Staying unemotional in the face of adversity goes against human intuition. Women are consistently doted upon when they are upset. Why can we not reciprocate that same energy when a man is going through a hard time?

Playing life like a chessboard is a phrase as old as time; so are the struggles that keep marginalized communities from being able to do so. Being a fierce modern individual is a daunting task when judgment is cast upon you whenever you stray from the stereotypical path even a centimeter. It seems as though we have all been forced into the role of the pawn, being moved at whim and without autonomy at the hands of expectations cast upon us. When will the time come when we can step out of the game, take control and move the pieces of our lives on our own? The role of the pawn is getting a bit exhausting. OLIVIA EVANS