THESE CHAINS DO NOT BIND ME, I WEAR THEM HEAVILY

BY ANNA SOPHIA WARD

FULL PAGE

dversity, particularly intrapersonal hardship, can be paralyzing. It can feel foolish to discuss and give weight to personal problems when others face extreme external forces without much respite. Personal struggles believed to be unworthy of acknowledging can extend for years: an underestimation yielding vulnerability to a parasitic relationship with your own adversity. In steady succession, this relationship with pain forms a two-way bridge to the shadowed parts of selfhood; it is something that did not exist before and cannot be taken down. This is a bridge that can always be crossed.

This relationship has a dialogue, something that feels good to be in and have that itching part of the brain scratched, until realizing this conversation was a diversion while time was stolen. Even if one keeps moving forward, the unaddressed can cast a shadow over the past and its memories. When time is lost, years can become an opaque block, tombstoned by a negative space inside the chest. This loss can be painful and, if stuck in that cycle, continuing. Escape that cycle and its temptations to stay with the damage caused already.

It is known that the best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago, the second-best time today. The best life is one with no time wasted; the second-best decides to not waste any more.

It is a challenge to trek forward, bogged down by gnawing memories, their bite marks. This challenge is not one to be erased in defeat; to think of overcoming adversity as a singular event is an astonishing feat of naivete. Overcoming personal adversity is continuous. Every day, a new management strategy, a new choice between an opportunity to shatter limitations and a temptation to regress. To surpass comes with feelings of good and emptiness, for negative feelings cannot be rid of — only negative actions. Breaking bad habits and taking responsibility is a nonlinear active intervention; it breaks a sweat.

When committed to this process, one can replace their first behavioral nature; looking over from this other side is a moment of gratefulness, but it also entails grief and pity for oneself. It is a transformational act to bring a freer, fuller version of yourself to the world — though, with this feat, there will be grief for what was lost and guilt for not addressing adversity sooner. You have changed, and part of life is accepting the non-self: how you are not the same as you were a year, a month or a minute ago — impermanence being your only constant.

Resolve to overcome adversity for the legacy of yourself and others. Though the weight can be large, heavy baggage means stronger arms.