Volume 113 Issue 10

The Spectator

The Stuyvesant High School Newspaper

OPINIONS

FEATURES

What Are You, Really?

I NEED TO

ChatGPT’s Impact on Stuyvesant

By SARAH DIAZ and SETH FENTON

Stuyvesant recently faced its first instance of plagiarism using artificial intelligence (AI). Two students in English teacher Annie Thoms’s Writing to Make Change class used an AI program to create an essay, sparking a conversation regarding how to approach plagiarism when none of the material is explicitly stolen.

In particular, ChatGPT is a commonly used program that uses AI for the purpose of generating essays artificially, creating thousands of words based on simple prompts inputted into the program. The software was launched by OpenAI on November 30 and has since garnered millions of users. Despite the brilliance of the algorithm, essays generated by the program often stand out as robotic, lacking the human thought found in student-created pieces. “ChatGPT and other AI seem to not be at [the level] where they sound like a person. They can write coherent sentences [...], but all the indicators of presence— personality, voice, surprise, error, mistakes—[aren’t] part of that,” Assistant Principal of English

Eric Grossman said. This robotic nature was a clear red flag for Thoms, causing her to investigate the paper more. “[The essay] just didn’t sound like the student. It was sort of vague and bland,” Thoms said. “It certainly didn’t sound like either of the

while there was no explicit way to detect AI, there was additional evidence alluding to an outside source. “[The essay] did not directly respond to the assignment and was different from the drafts and reflection material the student had submitted,” Grossman said.

NEWSBEAT

students whose voices I knew, because I’ve been reading their writing since September.”

Following the discovery of the plagiarism, Thoms reached out to the students, who confessed to using a program to generate their essays. The students later spoke with both Thoms and Grossman, and

“Part of avoiding [plagiarism] is creating assignments and structures around the assignment that make [plagiarism] not likely to occur in the first place and makes AI-generated material more likely to stand out.”

In response to the incident, Thoms also promptly had a con-

Presenting StuySquad 2022-2023

By ADITYA ANAND, ANDREW LIU, ZOEY MARCUS, and JUDY NAMKOONG

Stuyvesant hosted StuySquad 2022-2023, an annual showcase of Stuyvesant’s dance crews, in the Murray Khan theater on January 20. The performance highlighted 11 of these crews: boys’ hip-hop, modern, Bollywood, step, girls’ K-pop, girls’ hip-hop, flow blanc, flow noire, Latin, Cpop, and co-ed K-pop. This year, StuySquad returned to being fully in-person after two years of performing virtually, and almost every seat was full—the biggest turnout in StuySquad history. Tickets were $7 each, and the proceeds of $4,000 will be donated to St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital.

Preparations for the show began with crew member selections. Following selections, members of the various dance crews practiced the choreography multiple times a week. This was a time-consuming process; choreographers in particular devoted significant time to practicing and developing a routine. “I go to school every day, and I come to the back of the first [floor] for practice up until 5:00 [p.m.] for pretty much every day of the week leading up to StuySquad. And it’s like continuous practice, [where] I also might practice a

little bit at home if I have time,” freshman and flow blanc member Lina Zheng said. A month before the show’s scheduled time, the date of the

were getting everyone to try to come to our prop practices so they could actually learn clean and perfected choreo. And because they had other commit-

versation with a majority of the classes she teaches, in which she admitted that catching incidents like these has changed how she views other students’ work. “I spoke with my Writing to Make Change sections very openly, obviously not identifying students, but just saying [that I] caught those two students,” Thoms said. “Finding those pieces, in the same way when I find [other forms of] plagiarism, [...] makes me read everybody else’s final project differently.”

Even before a recorded incident, AI-generated plagiarism was a topical issue for the English Department. Despite this, few teachers believed it would become a large problem. “There had been a lot of publicity about it. English teachers were talking, sharing articles, so it was very much on our collective radar [prior to the incident],” Grossman said. “[However], it seemed queer that [AI] would be something we would encounter, and we would deal with any incident of plagiarism.” Many students have also felt the

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The Indicator held its yearly Valentine’s Day Sale from February 6 to 10.

First semester report cards were distributed electronically on February 7.

Stuyvesant’s Black Students League hosted its annual Black History Month dinner on February 9, with this year’s theme being Black Resilience.

Tai Abrams, a Duke University alumna, gave a presentation on the School to Wealth Pipeline on February 10.

The Social Studies Department held a Black history film screening on February 13 in Lecture Hall A.

The Junior Caucus held a Valentine’s Day Family Feud event on February 13.

Introducing the 2023 SING! Coordinators

By ADITYA ANAND, ELAINE HUANG, and RORIE TAYLOR

Preparations are underway for this year’s SING! performances, which are set to begin in the first week of March. The coordinators this year for the annual student-run musical competition are senior Lianne Ohayon, junior Caroline Stansberry, and sophomore Rayen Zhou. Coordinators work closely with their own Slate and crews, as well as the administration, faculty, the Student Union, and one another to ensure that all SING! performances are successful.

Senior SING!:

Lianne Ohayon

Senior SING! Coordinator

performance was changed to January 20, two weeks before the original date. As a result, members and directors of StuySquad dance crews had to prepare under a greater time constraint.

“Since the show got pushed earlier, we

ments as well, it was really hard for them to balance their own time,” junior and flow director Karen Chen said.

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Lianne Ohayon’s SING! experience dates back to before coming to Stuyvesant, through participating in her sleepaway camp’s SING! performances. Having been both SophFrosh and Junior SING! Coordinator in the past two years, Ohayon chose to participate in SING! after falling in love with the magic of the SING! experience. “I think it’s incredible how much we can all do working together,” Ohayon said. “[SING! is] such a

vibrant community.”

Though the SING! season has just started, leadership positions have already been decided, and more plans for the show will be finalized in the coming weeks. “In-person rehearsals start once we get back for [the] second semester, and then it’s full force until the show,” Ohayon said. “We’ve been working on our script and [...] are looking forward to making a lot more progress in the next few weeks.”

The theme for this year’s Senior SING! is “Seven Deadly Sins,” and Ohayon looks forward to making the show bold and electric while drawing inspiration from previous SING! productions. “We’ve been looking a lot at past things because each one has their own kind of background story to them, plot line, props, ideas,” Ohayon said. “[We’ve been] drawing inspiration from all the SING!s in the past and kind of letting their creative energy kind of seep into our minds when we’re creating our visions for the show.”

While Ohayon has her senior SING! responsibilities, she is also tasked with the challenge

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StuySquad Bollywood Group

Courtesy of Aditya Anand

Presenting StuySquad 2022-2023

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The expedited show date also created organizational issues. “We were initially given the date of February 3, and that’s what we told our crews, but then [Coordinator of Student Affairs Matt] Polazzo figured that it may not be the best time to do it that late since SING! is starting around the same time,” senior and StuySquad co-president Sukanya Ferguson said. “We moved it up to January 20 [...] but everyone was already accustomed to the February 3 date, so the biggest [challenge] was getting everything done in that short amount of time.”

Despite the challenges, the members were ultimately able to finalize their choreographies and successfully perform onstage. “A lot of the crews did feel a bit rushed, but they all did it amazingly and were able to pull through. [The deadline] had everyone stressing out because we had less time to prepare, but it still went out like a bang. I think this is one of our biggest StuySquad [performances] yet,” Ferguson said.

While the final product might not have exactly met the organizers’ expectations, many audience

members thoroughly enjoyed the show. “It was a lot cooler than I expected,” sophomore Andrea Wang said. “The dances were all really good [...], the lighting was surprisingly good […] and the MCs did a good job of riling everyone up.”

Moreover, for many StuySquad members, performing in front of an in-person audience was incomparable to any other experience. “The live audience made it very different from any of the rehearsals we did,” senior and Latin member Oliver Hollmann said. “It added the adrenaline rush that you get from doing something in front of people.”

While the StuySquad season only lasts a few months, many participants created new bonds that will last beyond the performance. “You get to meet really cool people and join this closeknit community,” Chen said. “We have really cool events for flow, especially after StuySquad where we have a lot of bonding activities and [team] lunch and dinners.”

The outcome of the live performance assured members that their hard work paid off. “My favorite part of this season was easily working with some new kids,” senior and Bollywood director Anjini Katari said. “When given

the option between harder and easier choreo, everyone wanted the harder one and worked and practiced for it. [...] I’m a perfectionist, especially when it comes to dance, but looking at how the crew did, I wouldn’t change a thing. Everyone exceeded my expectations.”

Though directing and participating in StuySquad was a time-consuming process, performers still found the process incredibly rewarding. “My experience overall was really good even though it was an emotional roller coaster, with people dropping out and having a lot in my workload,” junior and Bollywood assistant director Mehruba Tithi said. “[Changing] from being a member to an assistant director was really stressful at first, but I had so much fun, and all the work that we did paid off in the best way possible.”

With the end of StuySquad 2022-2023, leadership encourages students of all grades to join the community in future performances. “I highly recommend everyone to join [any] crew in general, really, because the feeling of being on stage is unmatched,” Tithi said. “I think that’s something that every single Stuy student should experience once in their Stuyvesant lifetime.”

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of ensuring that performances across all grades are a success.

“I really wanted to get a broader view of the SING! experience and be able to work with so many different crews on many different projects and mesh them together,” Ohayon said.

Additionally, though Ohayon has to handle tight deadlines, she remains optimistic. “I’m really hopeful that everything’s going to run really smoothly and is going to be really great,” Ohayon said. “Though the timeline is a challenge, it keeps us motivated to really accomplish the task [to] the best of our ability.”

While Ohayon expresses excitement for the production to come, she is also saddened to experience her last SING! at Stuyvesant. “SING! is the highlight of my Stuy[vesant] experience, has been since my freshman year, and I’m really excited [...] that we can close things off with a bang,” Ohayon said. “It’s sad to have to start closing the SING! chapter. It’s bittersweet, a lot of mixed emotions.”

Junior SING!: Caroline Stansberry

Junior SING! Coordinator

Caroline Stansberry was first exposed to SING! through her older siblings’ participation in the shows. “Both my older siblings went to Stuy[vesant] and they were both involved in SING! in some way,” Stansberry said. “My parents told me it was almost completely student-run and I thought that was crazy because whenever I would see [the shows], I would think they were equivalent to real, professional productions.”

Currently, Stansberry is in

WORLDBEAT

A drug trafficking trial for Mexico’s ex-secretary of public security, Género Garcia Luna, began in Brooklyn, New York, on January 23. Luna was accused of accepting more than $14 million in bribes from cartels.

The United States and Germany pledged to send Leopard and M1 Abrams tanks to Ukraine on January 25, which will provide Ukraine with a mobile heavy weapons capability that it can utilize to hold territories.

A Chinese spy balloon was detected over the northern continental United States on February 1; it was shot down on February 4 by an F-22 off the coast of South Carolina.

A magnitude 7.8 earthquake killed over 25,000 people in Turkey and Syria, leaving thousands of buildings destroyed in its wake on February 6.

Buffalo, New York, was hit with its strongest earthquake in 40 years on February 6, which impacted 3,000 people.

Introducing the 2023 SING! Coordinators

the process of determining leadership positions and distributing responsibilities in a way that combats problems she faced in previous years. “[Last year] we didn’t have a dance director, which we might have this year because I think that’ll

the scriptwriters.”

However, one major challenge is managing the vast amount of crews. “Because there’s just so many directors, it becomes difficult to communicate with all of them [...] That’s what I think is one of the hard-

of a fun season and less of [it being] super stressful [and] competitive.”

Looking past the challenges, Stansberry is excited for the SING! season. “Each year is so different. Even though I was coordinator last year, and I’m

“Being a producer taught me a lot about the detailed intricacies of SING! and how to oversee a production.”

With “The Royal Court” as the theme for Soph-Frosh SING!, Zhou hopes to find performers with unique skill sets to enhance the production experience. “As we make a return from hybrid SING! and the other challenges brought by COVID, I hope that this year’s SING! will be more elaborate and represent a wider range of student interests and talents,” Zhou said.

One of the main challenges Zhou faces is coordinating multiple grades. “As coordinator, I am responsible for basically everything related to Soph-Frosh SING!, from plot development to director selections to overseeing day-to-day operations to budgeting,” Zhou said.

be pretty important and make things run smoother,” Stansberry said. “Last year [...] I had one producer in charge of budget, but this year, I’m going to have two just because it was a little overwhelming for the producer last year.”

Stansberry is also in the process of envisioning how the show will correspond with the junior theme, “Camp.” “The vision is fuzzy for the show right now,” Stansberry said. “[The Slate and I] have a general plot line that we’re thinking of giving

est responsibilities, keeping all the directors on track and following the rules that I laid out for them,” Stansberry said.

Stansberry also hopes that the competitive nature of SING! won’t obstruct juniors from having a fun experience. “Can we just forget the competition for a minute [and] enjoy all our hard work culminating in this beautiful production? I got on Facebook and people are already posting that junior SING! is going to win [or] suck,” Stansberry said. “I just hope it’s more

going to be coordinator this year, they’re not going to be the same,” Stansberry said. “It’s going to be different people, a new SING!, and a new environment. And new rules, hopefully. A brand new experience.”

Soph-Frosh SING!:

Rayen Zhou

Rayen Zhou is this year’s Soph-Frosh SING! Coordinator, having started his SING! journey last year as a producer. “Last year was my first experience with SING!,” Zhou said.

While directing an entirely student-run production can be difficult, Zhou believes that he can overcome any unexpected challenges with the support of his team. “Being a first-time SING! coordinator is somewhat stressful and there are high expectations. However, I am lucky to have an extremely supportive Slate, as well as the other coordinators to turn to if I am in need of advice,” Zhou said.

Despite the many potential challenges, Zhou believes that SING! will ultimately be extremely rewarding. “Universally, I believe that all SING! participants can agree that staying after school and coming in over weekends and breaks to work with their crews fosters a close sense of community and friendship,” Zhou said. “It is this sense of unity and determination within crews and between the various crews that I hope to foster this year.”

Courtesy of Wikimedia Commons and NASA

Left: Rayen Zhou (SophFrosh), Middle: Lianne Ohayon (Senior), Right: Caroline Stansberry (Junior)

Alifa Azad / The Spectator

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effects of this focus; in a survey conducted by The Spectator, 70.8 percent of students out of 72 survey respondents agreed with the statement, “AI has been a topic many teachers/classmates have discussed.”

Despite the severity of the incident, from Grossman’s point of view, few students seem to currently use AI-generated essays. “[There were only] a small handful [of cases], the same or less as in finals in previous semesters,” Grossman said. “Students understand that [plagiarism] is not ethical and does not reflect learning.

ChatGPT’s Impact on Stuyvesant

For the most part, students do want to learn, [so cheating is] not worth it.”

For many students as well, AIbased plagiarism seems to be a line that hardly any are willing to cross.

In the aforementioned survey, only 8.3 percent disagreed with the statement, “I would never use ChatGPT/an alternate AI to cheat on an essay,” and an even smaller percentage, 4.2 percent, admitted that “[they] have already used ChatGPT/an alternate AI to cheat on an essay.” This is partially due to the fact that ChatGPT is not yet at the level of quality that students require for their assignments.

“The quality of AI essays, at least for now, are not at all comparable

to student essays, so it’s not really cheat-able,” anonymous survey respondent A said.

In contrast, many students highlighted positive ways that AI could be used. Though 95.9 percent of respondents agreed with the statement, “I believe AI can have practical uses,” only 22.2 percent of respondents agreed with the statement, “I believe AI is inherently immoral.” To justify this, some respondents mentioned the groundbreaking potential of AI. “[I’m] a programmer who understands how modern AIs work and how they’re useful,” anonymous survey respondent B said. “The idea that ‘just because [AI] can be used to plagiarize, it’s bad’ is some-

thing I entirely disagree with.”

Given the general consensus condemning the use of AI to cheat, Stuyvesant has already taken various measures to help counter the problem in the future.

“Principal [Seung] Yu has already revised [Stuyvesant’s schoolwide academic honesty policy] because it’s not just an English department thing. It’s potentially an issue in any subject,” Grossman said.

“We’re not changing our policies, we’re just being attentive to [a new] dynamic [of plagiarism]. The whole staff spoke about it at the January 30 faculty meeting [and] we are planning a full faculty meeting for March.” Many students also seem to want greater

accountability, with 29.1 percent of survey respondents agreeing with the statement, “Teachers should more strongly enforce/ create harsher plagiarism policies.” However, the Stuyvesant administration ultimately wants to promote the ethical impacts of AI, using it as a tool for beneficial creations. “[We need to] think about larger questions like: what are the ethics of AI? What are some cool and useful ways of using it?” Grossman said. “Certainly teachers will find their own applications of it. What I’d like to make sure is that everyone in the Stuy[vesant] community is on the same page about what it is and how to use it in ethical ways.”

Stuyvesant’s Counseling Department Launches New Connect Groups Initiative

By ODYSSEAS CAMBANIS, MARY LEE, and RAVEN (RUIWEN) TANG

With tight deadlines, constant assignments, and difficult tests, high levels of stress are com monplace for many Stuyvesant students. To combat this problem, the Stuyvesant guidance office has collaborated with Counseling in Schools, a citywide service that embeds social workers in schools, to start three Connect Groups: Connect and Destress, Connect and Create, and Cope with Cro chet.

The first group is focused on discussions, while the latter two use arts and crafts activities to facilitate mental health conversa tions. Additionally, Connect and Destress and Connect and Create utilize a closed format, in which students will remain with the same peers throughout the year, while Cope with Crochet is more open to different participants over time.

Stuyvesant has previously hosted similar student program ming, but these new connect groups were created specifically to promote student connection due to a lack of student interaction that the counseling department and social workers have identi fied in the past. “[The] matching with the word ‘connect’ helped to shape the offerings that we have,”

Assistant Principal of Pupil Per sonnel Services Casey Pedrick said. “In the past, we’ve [tailored] groups for students who had re-

cently lost a family member or maybe groups for underclassman boys, or something along those

perienced difficulty so far in gaining substantial interest due to the packed schedules of attendees.

of them have a similar period together, so that’s always a challenge at Stuyvesant for groups,” Pedrick

Lillian Zou/TheSpectator

tion of the student body remains unaware of or hesitant about this initiative due to a lack of advertisement about the events. “The only one I’ve ever heard about is the crochet one. It’s just not very well-advertised,” an anonymous senior said. “[Additionally], there’s definitely this stigma [of being vulnerable] because people want to seem put together. [...] That’s kind of been preventing me from attending.”

One solution to this problem could be an increase in student ambassadorship, as the groups are currently completely managed by the counseling department. “If the Stuy Big Sibs introduce it to [freshmen] as well, I think that would be helpful,” the anonymous senior said. “If someone goes on Facebook and [says], ‘I created this nice little crochet thing. Go to Stuyvesant guidance counseling in order to make [them],’ I think it’ll do well.”

than clubs for a long time,” social worker and connect group manager Arleen Novarese said. However, the groups have ex-

ested. “We could figure out and identify 22 kids who fall into this category, but maybe only three

more groups of students have a chance to cycle through and have that experience,” Pedrick said.

At the same time, a sizable por-

Time will tell whether or not Connect Groups will make a significant impact on the Stuyvesant community this semester, but students and counselors agree that the success of previous initiatives provides hope for this program. “The organization day [hosted by the counseling department for the past two years] was successful because it targeted a need. I feel like because a lot of Stuy[vesant] students are stressed, [Connect Groups] can succeed if [they’re] done right,” the anonymous senior said.

Stuyvesant Holds National History Day Celebration

By BILL CHAN and DIGIT KIM

Stuyvesant hosted an award ceremony for National History Day (NHD) participants in the fifth-floor cafeteria on January 18. The ceremony was organized by the Assistant Principal of Social Studies Jennifer Suri, and included performances, presentations, and documentaries by students from history teachers Mordecai Moore’s and Robert Sandler’s classes. NHD is a competition meant to encourage students to approach history in a creative and artistic way. Students were tasked with creating a project on a historical topic of interest related to this year’s theme of “Frontiers in History: People, Places, Ideas,” which required over four months of preparation and research.

While the award ceremony at Stuyvesant was only among the Stuyvesant community, a panel of judges has selected three projects from each category to move on to the city competition, which is happening in February at the Brooklyn Public Library. “We had many judges […] including [award winning director] Amy Schatz, [as well as] professors, parents, and teachers,” Sandler said.

While only three projects were ultimately chosen to move forward for each category, Stuyvesant also presented honorary awards to recognize more participants. “Students received awards not just for second or third [place], but also for [miscellaneous categories] like best artistic exhibit, etc., to encourage students to continue even if they did not place to advance to [the city competition],” Moore said. These awards included Best Research Paper on Environmentalism, Best Project on LGBTQ+ Rights, and Best Documentary on a New York City Artist.

In total, 32 projects were awarded in some capacity. Firstplace winners included Ivy Huang in the Individual Research Paper category; Uma Sukhu, Medha Prasad, and Joy Cai in the Group Website category; Anastasia Lee

in the Individual Website category; Britney Huang, Nozima Rahmatova, and Lillian Zou in the Group Documentary category; Fiona Huang for the Individual Documentary Film; Alan Chan, Zoe Chan, Abigail Jin, and Cindy Ye for the Group Exhibit Board

cism. “We only performed a small snippet [of our performance] and there were some small technical difficulties, but we were glad we did it,” junior William Tang said. “We were thankful for the opportunity to get experience performing in front of a large audience.”

at the Smithsonian Museum of American History […], so I just felt like it’s a very beneficial experience [for] the students,” he said.

Sandler and Moore introduced the project in September and shortly started to work with their students. “By mid to late

the individual exhibit board for its investigation of Upton Sinclair’s influence on the development of industrialism.

Depending on their project medium, students were given guidance and feedback specific to their project, from both their teachers and other advisors. “[Sandler] gave a lot of good feedback on performing as a group as well as team dynamics,” Tang said. “I got to really capture the enthusiasm and fun of [my topic].”

From the project, many students also learned new professional skills that would help them in the future. “It was a lot of work but rewarding to complete,” Makino-Siller said. “I learned how to organize a bunch of images and quotes, as well as how to reach out to institutions for research.”

category; and Winnie Gao in the Individual Exhibit Board category. A group performance by Carol Hon, Dylan Ma, William Tang, Lucas McGarvey, and Vanessa Chen, as well as an individual performance by Toby Oluwatobi, will also be moving forward.

The award ceremony also contained many in-person presentations, including a viewing of exhibit boards, the group performance “David Sarnoff: The Visionary of the Television Frontier,” and a viewing of the firstplace documentary “The Star of the Mythic West: The Man Who Broke Frontiers.” There was also a keynote address from history teacher David Hanna regarding his recent book about new American frontiers, Broken Icarus: The 1933 Chicago World’s Fair, the Golden Age of Aviation, and the Rise of Fas-

Tang’s group based their performance on David Sarnoff, a pioneer of American television.

This was the first NHD celebration Stuyvesant students participated in since the beginning of the pandemic. While it is always difficult to organize a large project after some time, this year was especially difficult due to the challenging theme. “[The main difference every year] is usually just a different theme, but I think that this year’s theme was more difficult because [of its many possible interpretations],” Sandler said.

Sandler has been working with students on NHD for six years and decided to hold the contest again this year as he felt a personal obligation to give his students this opportunity. “I had kids go to nationals for [their] films, had kids present their films

October, students were busy writing […] sets of 10 cards per source,” Moore said. “[Then] students would make an outline, […] a rough draft, and then eventually in December, they did a final version.”

Most importantly, students were able to express their creativity with this project as they were given a wide variety of different mediums—documentaries, exhibit boards, performances, and more. “It was a really flexible process and I had a lot of creative freedom,” junior Kikyo Makino-Siller said. “I chose an exhibit board because I thought it would be more fun than staring at my computer forever.”

Makino-Siller’s project, “The Legacy of Upton Sinclair, Navigating the Frontier of Industrial America,” received third place in

While the teachers understand that the work involved with NHD is very taxing, most believe it is rewarding, as it helps students hone their historical research skills. “Sometimes I think that this contest is too much work and [then] I have moments [that are] really moving to see,” Sandler said. “[This project is] incredibly exhausting for me, but I feel that it can be really rewarding when it works out.”

Many teachers and faculty members were also impressed by the level of work presented by the students. “It’s something that our whole school should be proud of because we have many students that are going to be competing at the next level,” Hanna said. “I think they have a good shot going [further] and I wouldn’t be surprised if Stuyvesant students win prizes at the national level.”

Ultimately, both students and advisors found NHD to be very beneficial, and advisors are seeking to expand this opportunity in the future. “We’re looking into the strong possibility of having [NHD] be a club where students can join even if they don’t have my [or another advisor’s] class and they want to participate in the event,” Moore said.

Stuyvesant Students Interviewed on the TODAY Show

By ABIGAIL CHO, MADELINE GOODWIN, and LAUREN YANG

Sophomores and juniors at Stuyvesant were recently interviewed by the TODAY Show to talk about the newly formed social media platform called Gas. These students include juniors Caroline Stansberry, Tara Suri, and Sharika Shithi, as well as sophomores Fin Ying, Brandon Waworuntu, Nicoles Mota, and William Li. Gas is an online platform that allows users to vote on polls about their friends, spreading positivity with uplifting comments.

Due to logistical challenges, not all students were able to be interviewed in person. Instead, Stansberry, Suri, and Shithi were interviewed virtually. “[The producer] reached out; [...] she knew that I was a student at Stuy and she asked if she could have my number [...] I was actually not available for the couple of days that she wanted to do the interview, so we had to do it virtually,” Stansberry said.

In contrast, Ying was one of the students who came in for an in-person interview. For them, the interview was approachable,

despite the more intimidating live environment. “It [...] felt like we were having fun and talking and chatting,” they said.

vous because I didn’t know what to expect [originally] but [the interview] [just] felt like chatting with someone.”

provided by the show, making the experience unforgettable. “At the end, they [sent us all] home in a private limo,” Waworuntu said.

they were [pretty] general,” Stansberry said. “[Questions included] ‘How do you feel about the Gas app?’ and I had to come up with something [in response].”

During their interview, Ying chose to discuss the positive aspects of Gas. “I personally think that the best part about the Gas app is the anonymous factor, because you’re able to compliment other people and send them little messages without revealing who you are,” Ying said. “A lot of people would love to take advantage of that fact.”

However, some interviewees were uncertain about the relevance of the interview once published. “The [video] didn’t even come out until a month later. It surprised me because I definitely thought [the producer] would have just given up on it by now because no one uses [Gas] anymore,” Stansberry said.

Stansberry describes her virtual experience in a similar way, agreeing that it was less stressful than expected. “It felt official,” Stansberry said. “I was pretty ner-

While sophomore Brandon Waworuntu was also excited by the actual interview, another part of the experience that stood out to him was the many amenities

“The ride was nice.”

The interview included a few quick questions regarding how interviewees felt about Gas. “[The questions were] easy to answer and

Ultimately, though the students were nervous about being part of a big television production, they agreed that the interview was a memorable experience. “The producers and everyone there made it really nice for us. It was really easy to have a conversation and [...] go with the flow,” Ying said.

Students being interviewed by TODAY Show, William Li, Nicoles Mota, Brandon Waworontu, and Fin Ying (left to right).

Courtesy of TODAY Show

Khush Wadhwa / The Spectator

By HIFZA KALEEM

In the early, awkward stage of getting to know someone, I am often met with the question, “Where are you from?” To me, the answer is simple. I am from New York—Queens, to be exact. I have called this bright, bustling city home for my entire life. Unfortunately, this answer is unsatisfactory to most. It is usually followed by another query, one that has always left me confused: “But what are you, really?”

Like many biracial or mixed kids, I do not quite know the answer. Technically, I am half Pakistani, half Guyanese, yet entirely American. My father was born in Pakistan, my mother was born in Guyana, and I was born here. This is a long-winded explanation that I have stumbled through on numerous occasions, questioning its truth more and more each time. As I hear myself speak, I feel like a fraud, pretending to claim three identities while not truly belonging to any.

On the surface, I am undeniably Pakistani—my brown skin, thick black hair, and sharp nose are all clear indicators of my heritage. However, appearances can be deceiving. I tend to feel like a fish out of water among my paternal relatives; my American wardrobe sticks out like a sore thumb among the colorful shalwar kameez that my cousins wear. At least I can understand my cousins when they speak—I spend most conversations with my aunts and uncles in confusion, cluelessly nodding as I wait for someone to translate their fast-paced Urdu. During dinners, I find myself whispering to my mother to ask what a dish is, only to stick to my typical biryani or makhani.

Still, for all that deems me not “Pakistani enough” to claim my Pakistani roots, I also fail to

What Are You, Really?

be “Guyanese enough” for my Guyanese side. I tend to have to spend more time explaining this part of my ethnicity; most people do not even know where Guyana is. When I tell them that it is a country in South America, they react with confusion: how can someone with such South Asian features be from a South

isolation from my Guyanese origins has been made up for by the bonds I share with them. Growing up, the time I spent with my maternal grandparents was always rich with stories of their lives back home—stories that painted vivid pictures of the people and places that came before me.

ine my confusion when I heard my maternal grandparents calling spinach “bhaji.” Such things seem insignificant, but make up a larger cycle of incompatibility; my maternal side considers my paternal side foreign, whereas my paternal side finds my maternal family unusual. Pakistani weddings, for example, are massive and lengthy, filled with ceremonies such as Mehndis and activities like dancing. Guyanese weddings are far shorter, with simpler agendas that include heartfelt speeches. Weddings are not the only cultural ceremonies in stark contrast; I have noticed differences in everything from Eid celebrations to funerals. These variations might seem small, but they add up, especially as I am told that certain actions are “so Pakistani,” whereas others are “undeniably Guyanese.”

Throughout all of this, I am stuck in the middle, trying to figure out my place. My detachment from my background is only amplified by my American upbringing. Growing up in the United States presents societal norms and practices that are not traditional in my family; being a second-generation American has given me a puzzling definition of “normal.”

I am no stranger to being called whitewashed. Still, hearing it from friends and family alike can be isolating. I consider the label to be one of the main reasons I feel at odds with my heritage, and yet, I must acknowledge that I will never be perceived as “American.” Though I am incredibly fortunate to live in New York, a diverse melting pot home to a plethora of cultures, ethnicities, and religions, nothing can make up for America’s underlying racism. My food, clothing, and faith—which act as bridges between the worlds my heritage spans—will always be seen as “different,” much like my very being.

By ABIGAIL JIN

As the job title suggests, student-teachers are caught in the limbo between finishing their degrees and teaching classes to prepare for their future careers. As a busy Stuyvesant student, you might question why someone would want to spend more time in the classroom than they have to. Yet, for aspiring teachers, real-life teaching experience is priceless. Many departments, such as music and social studies, have hired student-teachers. Reflecting on their time working at Stuyvesant, these student-teachers have revealed the fulfillment that comes with educating the next generation.

During the fall 2022 semester, Victoria Meyer was a student-teacher for AP European History and AP U.S. History courses. She recently finished her master’s degree in Adolescent Social Studies Education at Hunter College, where her program matched her with Stuyvesant social studies teacher, Mordecai Moore. “I was thrilled when I found out that I got to be at Stuyvesant,” Meyer said, “At the beginning of June, I got an e-mail saying that ‘You’re

American country? It is far easier for them to reduce me to my Pakistani roots, or, better yet, assume that being brown equates to being Indian.

Yet, I am not entirely disconnected from my Guyanese roots, a fact I owe to my maternal relatives. It is as though my percieved

I am still the outlier in my family, the one with a set of customs and traditions that are unfamiliar to the rest. For instance, among Pakistanis, it is standard to call one’s older cousins “bhai” or “baji” (depending on if they are male or female).

It is a sign of respect, so imag-

The status quo here is far different from that of Pakistan or Guyana, making my childhood unique. Leaving the borough I live in for high school, for example, would have been an outlandish thought to most of my family. My mother could not even leave her home borough for college, and understandably so. My family came to America for better opportunities and braved a whole new environment, which inevitably sparked fear and distrust. Most of my relatives share relatively strict and sheltered upbringings. I, on the other hand, live an “Americanized” life.

The Double Life of a Student-Teacher

working with Mr. Moore [...]’ and he wanted to meet up right away so that we could start preparing over the summer.”

Despite thorough planning, Meyer had to be ready for whatever the day threw at her in order to give her 170 students the best possible learning experience, and find both personal fulfillment and enjoyment in her daily lessons. “You can never be too prepared for a day of teaching,” Meyer emphasized. “It’s hard to really enjoy [your lesson] if you’re not super prepared… even though it’s so much work, the actual teaching part comes easily when you have all that preparation,” she continued. Her responsibilities included putting together informative slides and designing class activities.

This year, Meyer was particularly busy due to a newlyintroduced National History Day project that increased the grading workload for teachers and student-teachers alike.

“That gave him [Mr. Moore] a huge new workload, so I think I did more work than his previous student-teachers,” Meyer said. “Working with Mr. Moore is so great because he’s so ex-

perienced, but there’s always so much to do, and that was a major adjustment. That would be the case for any teacher, but it’s especially the case with him,” she added.

Moore is highly experienced in training student-teachers, having mentored more than 20 student-teachers over the years. He encourages them to stick to his tight work schedule in order to give them a realistic teaching experience. “I ask them to arrive when I arrive, which is 8:30 in the morning, and, when possible, to stay close to the time I leave, which is about 5:00 p.m.” Moore explained. His training method also includes studentteachers taking on grading workloads that accurately represent a high school teacher’s.

On top of Meyer’s daily class preparations, she had to take an additional course at Hunter every week, which Moore was considerate of. They were able to arrange an efficient grading system. “[Mr. Moore] would take home all the grading on Wednesdays, and when he had to go to a Hanukkah party with his kids, I would take home all of the grading that day,” Meyer explained.

Another former studentteacher, ZhenHong Chen, taught Global II with social studies teacher Dr. Lisa Greenwald. Chen attended Stuyvesant himself, and returned as a university student at NYU to student-teach. “Without actually going to a school and doing hands-on teaching, it really leaves you unprepared to go into a classroom by yourself,” Chen said. “[My university] structured it really well so that I wasn’t overburdened with a workload throughout student-teaching,” he described.

Chen believes that becoming a student-teacher was beneficial for his career. As someone who does not consider himself to be a particularly outgoing person, Chen had to adapt to the teaching environment. “Being super outgoing in front of friends and being outgoing in front of a classroom [are] two types of social skills,” Chen clarified. “You do need to be able to project your voice, you do need to know how to interact with students and to make sure your lessons are engaging or interesting,” he said.

Similarly, Meyer emphasized the importance of engaging

It is human nature to let our differences define our identities. In today’s society, people hold opinions so strongly that we often allow their pre-existing views to limit us, forcing us into restrictive boxes. I have found myself falling into this pattern. I have tried to fit other’s expectations of being Guyanese, Pakistani, or American, contributing to the unease I have felt with my cultural identity. I try to remind myself that being different is not necessarily a bad thing. As isolating as it may seem, forging your own path is a part of life. Even if I do not fit the standard definition of a perfect Pakistani, Guyanese, or American, I can be all three in my own way, and there is nothing wrong with that.

Ultimately, I am fortunate enough to be surrounded by a loving family, no matter the cultural divides between us. They are the ones who have carried my culture for generations and taught me who I am, something far more meaningful than any label ever could be. So, perhaps the question should not be “What are you?” but “Who are you?” I would be much more interested in hearing the answer to that.

students without rushing the learning process. “If you start a class and most of your students are really quiet or no one is participating, it will get better. You just believe that your students will open up more as they get to know you, as you get to know them, and it’ll happen,” Meyer said.

Sometimes, however, student-teaching programs teach participants a different lesson: not everyone is cut out to be a teacher. “In one case, that teacher realized very quickly that they should be a police person instead of a teacher when they made a [quiet] student cry,” Moore recounted.

While these programs are undoubtedly useful for studentteachers to explore a potential career path and build experience, they are not flawless. For instance, in her student-teaching seminars, Meyer found out that other aspiring teachers may not have been so lucky with their school placements. “One person had to switch schools because his kids were saying really offensive things to him […] There was

Veronika Duvanova / The Spectator

A Shoulder (Or Squad) To Lean On

By THE FEATURES DEPARTMENT Students reveal the support systems they appreciate most at Stuyvesant.

“I definitely believe being a part of the girls’ varsity softball team gave me the most important type of support, and that’s friendship. Being a part of a sports team means a lot of time spent outside of the classroom and more time spent with people across all grades, meaning you make a lot of connections. Being able to make friendships, going out and trying new foods, visiting new places, and spilling all the tea with your teammates is something I [have valued] so much [during] my time at Stuy. It has served me so well in the sense that I too have a community to lean on when I need it the most.” —

Hepzibah Srithas, senior

“Being a manager for the girls’ varsity volleyball team, I was able to improve my own skills at the sport and become involved in a family who loved volleyball just as much as I do.” —Winifred Thompson, sophomore

“As one of the very first clubs I joined, Stuyvesant Red Cross has given me the most support. I’ve had the chance to meet new people and develop strong friendships, which has helped me immensely in forming a sense of community at Stuy. I’ve had some really enjoyable and rewarding experiences with my friends, such as making greeting cards and visiting the health fair, and we’ve been able to help out the community in the process.” —Anushri Mahabir, senior

“The girls’ table tennis team has given me the most support at Stuy thus far. I resonate with the people there very well and made a lot of friends, ones I go to for moral support. Overall, it’s a very chill and supportive atmosphere for winding down.” —Jenny Chen, junior

“Robotics provided a safe space for me to ease into high school. I struggled with going outside of my comfort zone and talking with others initially, but joining the club provided a great avenue to make new friends. After all, we were all interested in the same subjects and had many things in common. Mr. Blay also allows us to pop into the new robotics lab during specific periods and sometimes ask him questions about classes.” — Cindy

Zhong, sophomore

“StuyFlow has given me the most support because the community is welcoming and I get to spin lights, which I find passion in.” —Anna Ying, senior

“I'm really grateful that teachers offer help outside of class because I can just ask them for help whenever I’m struggling with something, and that makes things a lot less stressful.” —Arpita Saha, junior

“Clubs in general help us make new friends who share the same interests. They provide a sense of community that is very much needed in making high school much more bearable. It’s always a plus when you get to discuss and share ideas about something you’re passionate in.” —Sophie Huang, freshman

“I would say I got a lot from the music department. Last year they gave my group and another chamber group $1,000 in funds for whatever we need[ed], and we used them for coaching, which was really helpful.” —Josephine Yoo, sophomore

“At Stuy, the swim team has given me the most support as it’s a very close-knit community. Being on a sports team can [be] really physically challenging, but the support of my teammates makes it much easier because I’m no longer training and swimming just for myself, but for the larger good of the team.” —Kaileen So, sophomore

“I really found my place on the tennis team. I found my best friend there, before freshman year. She, along with the whole team, helped me grow and enjoy my experience at Stuy.” —Alika Peker, senior

“My guidance counselor has always supported my efforts and has offered great advice in my times of need.” — Yarza

Aung, junior

“[Stuy] Legacy provided a place for me to improve and reflect on myself.” —Fiona Li, sophomore

“[Jewish Student Union], because the guy who leads it is supportive and caring, and the activities make [it] a fun community.” —Olivia Cisse, freshman

“I’d say SciOly because I’m a nerd.” Jordan Leung, junior

“Track has motivated me to become a more consistent runner, which has helped me in other aspects of life and made me a more productive person.” —Raaita Anwar, sophomore

“I’d definitely say Bollywood. Whether it be for Stuysquad or SING!, it allowed me to form friendships outside of my bubble and strengthen friendships I already have! These crews are a lot of commitment, so it forces me to bond with my peers and form that connection.” —Srinity Rijal, junior

“After-school AIS and office hours have definitely helped me improve in the academics I struggled with.” —Viviana

Lupercio,

“The wrestling team has provided me with a community of students that care for each other and work together with the utmost respect and persistence. By joining the team, I have grown closer to my teammates and have formed a lot of meaningful friendships.” —Trystan Woutersz, junior

By AVA FUNG

When we were children, the occasional school field trip brought an indescribable elementary school magic. Remember the days of carrying a drawstring bag to school containing only a Lunchable, $5 for an eraser at the souvenir shop, and a notecard with your name and the contact information of every single relative in a 20-mile radius? School trips are a core memory for many students, as they give them the opportunity to conduct self-led discovery in the real world. At Stuyvesant, school trips—which were rare to begin with—have been on the decline due to various pressures, including budget cuts and the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic. During remote learning, teachers supplemented annual school trips with virtual tours, a practice that has carried into in-person school due to its convenience over traditional field trips.

Traditional field trips offer community-building hands-on experiences that further students’ understanding and interest in the curriculum; Stuyvesant

freshman

“Stuyvesant Fungi Club, because we get to grow our own edible mushrooms!” —Zara Bhuyian, junior

"My friends are the greatest resource, [...] then track for my physical health.” —Brandon Waworuntu, sophomore

“Participating in the [Stuyvesant Theater Community] and SING! tech crew has been a great experience because I get to do what I enjoy while meeting new people and learning from others in a close-knit community. It’s also a lot of fun seeing entire sets being created from start to finish.” —Vanessa Chen, sophomore

“I really like FRAP tutoring. The FRAP biology tutoring reinforces my knowledge of what we learn in class in an efficient way. Since AP Biology is memorization-heavy, it helps to cover all the material in one session before the test.” —Ashie Sinha, freshman

“Our school’s robotics team, StuyPulse, has offered me the most support throughout my time at Stuy by serving as an outlet for me to expand my knowledge and experience in the subjects that I enjoy most. Additionally, StuyPulse has allowed me to meet some of my closest friends at Stuy.” —Aiden Tan, junior

A (School) Trip Down Memory Lane

students feel these benefits outweigh their perceived impracticalities. Freshman Caucus CoPresident Vanna Lei is currently taking AP Biology with biology teacher Marissa Maggio. Though the class does not currently have any field trips planned, Lei finds enjoyment in enrichment opportunities within the school building, which involve learning outside of the classroom. “We did do sort of a mini trip where we went to the first floor by the main entrance [...] We used pennies and threw them as far as possible alternating right and left hands to test dominance,”

Lei explained. “Trips are useful and fun ways to get involved with each other,” she continued. She hopes to have an opportunity to go on an AP Biology field trip in the future. “Since science takes place everywhere, especially in nature, it would be nice to go out and see what is in our textbooks,” Lei added.

Field trips also provide bonding opportunities by placing students in an unfamiliar environment—one they must stick together to navigate. Senior Jonathan Feng recalled going on

a trip to the American Museum of Natural History for Honors Biology prior to the pandemic. Participating in a lab at the museum helped him connect with his fellow students as they worked their way through an unfamiliar lab procedure.

Similarly, junior Iris Lin was able to visit Sky Rink at Chelsea Piers for an ice skating field trip as part of her rollerblading class, taught by physical education teacher Vasken Choubaralian. Lin, who had very little experience with ice skating before the trip, got to learn a new skill and step out of her comfort zone. She greatly enjoyed the trip because it felt refreshing to hang out with friends outside of a classroom setting. “I think overall it was nice to see my friends outside of class, even those I [wasn’t] too close to. I also went out to eat with one of my friends after the trip, which was fun,” Lin explained. While the trip was a regular occurrence for Choubarlian’s rollerblading classes prior to the pandemic, it was the first time in three years that the trip occurred. Lin expressed that she hopes this tradition will con-

tinue, saying, “Overall, I would go again if I had the chance to.”

Likewise, Feng hopes to go on field trips with his English class to see stage adaptations of the books they learn about. In response to budget-related issues, Feng advised, “It’s usually cheaper to see dress rehearsals than plays.” In the future, he hopes that more organizations will see the value in making theater performances accessible to students by offering school discounts.

Fellow senior Steven Cen agrees with Feng. Cen entered Stuyvesant without ever having seen a play, and saw his first four plays on school trips. He feels grateful for the theater experience. In particular, he felt that the three plays he saw for his Asian American Literature class, taught by English teacher Sophie Oberfield, helped him better understand the characters they discussed in the curriculum. “Far Country was my favorite production. It was related to me because it was from a region of China that my parents were from. I got to see their life before me,” Cen said.

Cen explained that these plays served an integral purpose in the course’s curriculum: “We spent time in class reading the stories and at least two days after watching the play discussing and decoding what we saw.”

School trips can help students see classes as more than a grade on their report card, motivating them to apply the topics they learn in class to the outside world. Lin expressed a similar sentiment as Cen when reflecting on her ice skating trip. “I’m [now] more confident on ice, so coming back from the trip gave me more motivation to improve my rollerblading skills,” Lin acknowledged.

School trips awaken the inner child in all of us when we remember the times of walking hand in hand to cross the street and deciding which friends to sit next to on the bus. In high school, trips hold a deeper meaning, serving as a connection to our peers, teachers, and even cultures. Though the pandemic led to innovative alternatives such as virtual field trips, there is simply nothing like the real thing.

By CRICKET FU, AVA GORDON, and SOPHIE ZHOU

Poorly-taped flyers line the hallways. Artsy promotions crowd your Instagram feed. Merchandise appears on makeshift booths around school. In your time at Stuyvesant, you have likely come across student-run businesses at some point. While the purchasing process is usually as simple as filling out a quick online form and picking up the product, the entrepreneurs behind Stuyvesant’s small businesses invest immense amounts of time and energy into marketing their crafts.

Often, students center their businesses around a personal hobby they can profit from.

Sophomore Malka Lubelski owns TheVeryCoolShoppe, an Etsy shop that sells handmade jewelry. “I made the shop because I learned how to make jewelry over quarantine and I really liked doing that. And my friends, a bunch of them convinced me because I just wanted to give people jewelry, but they said that I should sell it so I could make a profit and not go broke,” Lubelski said.

Sophomore Rebecca Pereira sells chocolate chip and oatmeal cookies through her Instagram account, @bybecca0604. Similar to Lubelski, she founded her business in order to profit from an activity she enjoyed, but only after her classmates convinced her to turn her passion for baking into cash. “I made a lot of cookies and I went back upstairs to my AIS for AP Biology and I had this bag of cookies. And so I was like, ‘Who wants cookies?’ And everyone wanted cookies,” Pereira explained. “And then [someone] messaged me that night and he was like, ‘I’ll buy your cookies,’” Pereira elaborated. “And that was the first time. But then I started [selling more] because he messaged it in the AP Bio group chat, and then so other people saw, and then I got other orders as well.” Since student-led businesses do not often

Turning Crafts into Cash

have the funds to afford formal advertising, other methods of promotion, such as social media and word of mouth, are vital to their success.

Maintaining a business requires careful time management, as it can be difficult to balance production with the demanding schedule of a Stuyvesant student.

“Normally, whenever someone orders a product from me during the week, I’ll tell them that I can get it to them [...] by Monday so that I have the weekend to work on it. Because during the school week, a lot of time I can’t, like last night I had this bulk order for someone and I went to bed really late,” Lubelski explained. “I probably spend like three hours a week on jewelry making. [And] when I package products, that takes me a while cause I try to make it cute.”

Pereira also plans her production schedule according to the demands of her academic one.

“The reason why I choose Fridays [to distribute the cookies] is because I tend to have less tests on Fridays,” Pereira explained. However, even on days when she has a lighter workload, running the business remains a challenge. “It’s a little bit exhausting, especially on Friday, the day of selling cookies, because there’s like this nausea from [staying up] the night before,” acknowledged Pereira.

Passions aside, the primary reason that many students start businesses is simple: profit. Like Lubelski, junior Cassandra Anderson owns a small business where she sells her handcrafted jewelry, although hers is based on Instagram (@rose.ravioli. jewelry). Her decision to start a business was precipitated by a sudden loss of money. “We [had] spent too much money at Comic-Con, and the plan was to make that money back by selling jewelry on Instagram,” Anderson admitted.

Fortunately, many of these entrepreneurial undertakings become successful. “I’ve made a good amount of money,” said Lubelski. Still, she has to reinvest

a portion of her profits into her business. “I also spend a lot of it on getting more supplies,” Lubelski explained. Naturally, even student-run businesses must meet certain production quotas. For Lubelski, these expenditures often consist of stocking materials for incoming orders.

tance of using her business to give back to the community. She sold her jewelry at the Stuyvesant Animal Association’s recent fundraiser for endangered sea turtles. “One of my friends is one of the owners of the club, [and] she reached out to me and asked me to make some sea tur-

and I think my discipline has increased,” Pereira said.

Lubelski added that being able to work with a variety of people is important for running a business. “I have to communicate with [clients] in the best, easiest way possible,” Lubelski explained.

Pereira revealed that this can be difficult: “You have to be nice to everyone. [...] It’s a lot of work to keep up with people.” Pereira also advised that for a business to last, the owner needs to enjoy running it. “Don’t invest yourself into something you’re not passionate about,” Pereira warned. “If you don’t want to do it next year, then don’t start it.”

Anderson, who also founded her business on a beloved hobby, echoed this warning of assessing your intentions before launching a commercial venture. “Do not create a business with your sole expectation to be making money off it. If you start out that way, you’re just gonna find yourself miserable so fast,” Anderson advised.

Pereira is also unable to keep all of her sales earnings, as she needs to restock ingredients for the dozens of cookies she makes each week. “I went to Target and had to bring home 30 pounds [of] sugar and flour,” Pereira recalled. Pereira also frequently donates a fraction of her revenue. “A portion goes to charity every single week,” Pereira said. The charity she chooses varies monthly. In the past, she has donated to the Chinatown Food Fridge.

Lubelski echoed the impor-

The Double Life of a Student-Teacher

continued from page 6

more than one racist incident,” Meyer revealed. Fortunately, according to Moore, in most schools, student-teachers are treated with respect. “They’re able, over the course of the semester, to earn the respect of the students,” Moore explained.

English teacher Sarah Lifson, another former Stuyvesant student-teacher, currently teaches American Literature and Writing in the World. She studied English education at Hunter College, where fieldwork was mandatory to get her degree, which was how she ended up teaching freshman English classes at Stuyvesant during the Spring 2020 semester. She recalled her transition from student-teaching to professional teaching and the differences in responsibilities between them. “[Now,] I’m responsible for communication with parents, with guidance counselors,

and serving the whole student, rather than just parts of the student,” Lifson noted.

Chen felt that studentteaching at Stuyvesant led to a smoother transition when becoming a Global I and AP U.S. History teacher. “I’m very much a history person, and I feel like teaching, in general, is the best way to make use of the knowledge and to impart the story of history for all these students,” Chen reflected.

Lifson agreed that her student-teaching experience provided her with the necessary skills to thrive in her job. “I remember having such issues with timing. I could not teach and keep track of time […] I would kind of just get carried away in conversation,” Lifson said. “[English teacher Katherine Fletcher] really encouraged me to be honest that I was also a student. I was also in a learning situation, and I think that has stayed with me even as I’ve been

teaching professionally for three years.”

Even now as a full-time teacher, Lifson feels that the continued mentorship and advice she has received from the English department has made the transition smoother. As Moore put it, “They leave after the semester, in essence, really understanding fully the time commitment both in the building and outside the building of what it means to be a teacher, and therefore they’re ready to get hired as teachers.”

Student-teaching comes with many challenges and responsibilities, but it is ultimately a rewarding experience. The student-teacher learning experience, as indicated by their personal stories, is serving them well as teachers today. Studentteachers deserve recognition for their hard work; after all, these young scholars are training to be the educators of the next generation.

tle jewelry because I sell some bracelets with turtles on them. It was really exciting for me ‘cause I don’t usually get assigned projects to do. So I enjoyed this one,” Lubelski expressed. “And definitely any prospective people who wanna reach out to me about the same stuff, I enjoy doing it.”

For other students looking to start their own businesses, Pereira noted that the most important trait to have is discipline. “Discipline is very crucial

Lubelski agreed that students who enjoy what they do can often reap more benefits from running a small business. “For any hobby that you like doing, it’s really cool to see your talents appreciated,” she said. Lubelski added that she would love if more students started their own businesses: “[For] everyone who wants to start a small business— I always love to encourage you to do it […] I would love for there to be like a whole small business thing at Stuy. If we had flea markets at Stuy, I feel like that’d be really cool.”

Running a small business may not be easy, but its rewards are tremendous. Giving back to the community, gaining important life skills, and achieving financial independence are all opportunities that await ambitious, business-minded students looking to test the waters of commerce. Small student-run businesses are a defining fixture of Stuyvesant culture, but they only exist when students take the initiative to start them—students like you.

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Breaking the Break Cycle

It is the week before break. You have four tests, two presentations, and an essay due before you can kick back and relax. Then midwinter break finally arrives. You think you are free at last, when suddenly one of your teachers posts an announcement on Google Classroom: Major project due the Tuesday we return to school. Shortly after, you receive another notification: Extra Credit assignment attached below. This content will be covered on the Unit Seven Test the Thursday after break. Suddenly, your hopes of knocking out summer internship applications, reviewing material, and enjoying your time away from school dissolve; the assignments are already piling up, and it feels like there is nothing you can do about it.

Despite the Stuyvesant High School Homework Policy explicitly stating that “Teachers will not assign any homework, projects, or extra credit for completion over a vacation period [Winter Break, Midwinter Recess, and Spring Break],” violations occur, both intentional and unintentional. To account for such issues, the Stuyvesant administration introduced the “Spiral of Communication.” Students are advised to talk first to a teacher or school counselor about the issue, then have a parent e-mail the teacher if it remains unresolved, e-mail the department’s assistant principal if no solution is reached, and, finally, e-mail the principal. However, this policy does not take into consideration the power

imbalance between teachers and students.

If students felt comfortable approaching teachers, and teachers responded by accepting accountability for policy violations, the Vacation Policy would be effective. However, in reality, many teachers act defensively when confronted, attempting to justify homework policy violations instead of being receptive to student feedback. While this response is not typical of all teachers, most of us have heard the “belonging at Stuyvesant means handling the workload” speech at least once in our Stuyvesant careers, often after remarks are made regarding Homework Policy violation.

The fear of being singled out in front of the entire class contributes to student reluctance to notify teachers when they violate the Vacation Policy. Students are well aware of the herd mentality that can prevent us from speaking up, but when stakes are heightened, many still make the risk-free choice: staying silent. This pressure is intensified for juniors and seniors especially, as their relationships with teachers largely determine the college recommendation letters they receive.

Furthermore, the current Spiral of Communication is inefficient concerning break. When last-minute, policy-violating projects are assigned right before break, the lengthy communication process often is challenging to complete, as many staff and administrators

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The Stuyvesant High School Newspaper

do not check their e-mails once break begins. When the problem is left unresolved, it leaves students no choice but to take on the excessive workload.

At the same time, as students, we have a tendency to question our work ethic when we are “unproductive” over break. Given Stuyvesant’s competitive environment, many students approach vacation as a time to get ahead in their studies and prepare for standardized tests to ease the workload upon returning to school. The desire to be continuously productive without leaving time to rest defeats the purpose of break. The communal sentiment that “break never feels like break” is thus partially fueled by students.

It is important to recognize that vacation is the time for students and teachers alike to recharge, spend time with family and friends, and prioritize mental health. Teachers should understand that increasing what students have on their plates hinders a restful break, which is absolutely necessary for them to maximize performance upon returning to school. As for students, it is vital to stop fearing that others are working harder and getting ahead over break, as it perpetuates an unhealthy herd mentality of needing to be constantly productive. If maximal productivity is what we strive for, the most productive thing we can do over break is rest up—our brains are going to need all their power to take the next term by storm.

By SOPHIA DASSER

The level of “human touch,” of human autonomy or control, in automatic weapons like drones is a topic that has been extensively debated by human rights organizations, such as the United Nations (UN), and some of the most relevant engineers and scientists in the world, such as Elon Musk and Stephen Hawking. It wasn’t until last year, when autonomous drone Kargu-2 was reported to be hunting down and targeting retreating Libyan soldiers, that experts’ worries became a reality. In a rapid sequence of events that sounds like the plot of a ‘90s sci-fi novel, the UN was at a loss as to who to blame for the attack and said that the drone had “a mind of its own.” Lethal autonomous weapons systems (LAWS) have the intention to be used in areas with few civilians or civilian property. LAWS supposedly allow for more accurate attacks and smaller risk for collateral damage. However, the Kargu-2 is different. The Kargu-2 was the first LAWS that attempted to kill someone on its own accord, spelling a frightening future for warfare and accountability.

Many LAWS developers have recently begun resorting to a method called swarming. Swarm intelligence has occurred in the natural world for millions of years. The behaviors of flocks of birds, schools of fish, colonies of ants, and swarms of bees are some examples. What draws

“The Pulse of the Student Body”

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Autonomy or Accountability?

these types of behaviors together are three key rules: communication between entities, lack of a leader, and a set of rules. Swarm intelligence in the context of weaponry acts the same way: the drones possess a set of rules dictated by the programmer. However, just like how birds in a flock can identify a threat and change their flight accordingly, drones can do the same. Hence, “com-

of each other while doing so. Many lead engineers and scientists believe that these drones are incapable of distinguishing between soldiers and civilians. For example, the UN Security Council concedes that these drones cannot distinguish between packages delivered and branded by the United Nations International Children’s Emergency Fund versus those brand-

the regulations on LAWS should be drawn and revised. Key revisions should include accountability if a drone attack goes wrong, checks on how much autonomy a drone has, and, in the context of swarming, how extensive and controlling the set of rules issued by the programmer are. The usage of LAWS is not remotely new; however, Libya’s incident was the first

LAWS supposedly allow for more accurate attacks and smaller risk for collateral damage. However, the Kargu-2 begs to differ. The Kargu-2 was the first LAWS that attempted to kill someone on its own accord, spelling a frightening future for warfare and accountability.

munication” between the drones allows them to divulge in complex threat analyses of the surroundings and act accordingly while signaling to their fellow drones of the threat. The beauty and complexity of swarming is that there is no leader. As Sean

A. Williams of the U.S. Air Force says, drones can accomplish “all of this without a leader by using a local and decentralized network of communication where each [drone] is only communicating with his neighbor.” These swarms are completely adaptable, allowing them to make decisions on the fly (no pun intended) and “bounce” ideas off

ed with the Turkish flag. Clearly, bombing packages of aid offered by humanitarian organizations would be dangerous for innocent civilians, not to mention the money lost if such a mistake were to occur. While supporters defend swarming intelligence by saying that it allows for fewer mistakes than a human soldier, there is still no adequate risk factor that can support the argument. Hence, because there is no sufficient statistical evidence for the value of autonomous drones, the risk is simply not worth the reward of the possibility that civilian casualties would decrease.

NATO recently realized that

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time the world witnessed a lack of accountability and a possible innocent casualty as a result of human absence. The “what if” clause here is very realistic, as wars are becoming more and more rampant in today’s society, many of them with disregard for civilians. See the Russian and Ukrainian war for example. The possibility that erroneous LAWS pose lethal threats to innocents is not something to be taken lightly.

The clearest solution to preventing this problem is to reintroduce human supervision. Stationing soldiers who understand the functionality of the drone

would create a safety net if drones began to target civilians or decisions began to deviate from initial commands. However, the question of whether that soldier would be fully responsible for the mishap arises. The answer isn’t cut and dried. It leads us to look for precedence for AI technologies being prosecuted, and who exactly was prosecuted. Sanjay Srivastava, Chief Digital Officer at professional services firm Genpact, even admitted that “if you use AI, you cannot separate yourself from the liability or the consequences of those uses.” With this logic, the user of LAWS should stand on trial if a calamity were to occur. However, with drones, it’s trickier because of the nature of the military. Soldiers who possess control over the drones could simply argue that they were taking orders from higher-ups, invoking atrocities of the past like the Holocaust or the Vietnam War. The ambiguity of accountability is enough to say that autonomous drones should be illegalized in warfare until there is a clear traceback to the group that directed the order. Unfortunately, the public has been very quiet about these recent atrocities, and simply spreading awareness online about the topic would help draw attention and spur public outrage in a greater scope. This would ensure that LAWS restrictions aren’t put on the back burner in UN conferences and in the greater political and military scheme.

By USHOSHI DAS and AMARYLLIS SUN

“It was Halloween [of 2017], and we were dressed up,” Assistant Principal of Pupil Personnel Services Casey Pedrick begins. One of the most awaited days. Students and teachers dressed up. Candy was everywhere and, by the end of the day, even offered to FBI agents. Just underneath Stuyvesant’s Tribeca Bridge— a connection to our safe haven—the deadliest terrorist attack in New York City since September 11, 2001, occurred.

Sayfullo Saipov, an Uzbek immigrant, drove his pickup truck down the Hudson River Park bike path before crashing into a school bus, killing eight people and injuring 11 others. At first, the scene suggested it was a Halloween prank. But the wildly-bent bicycles and bodies lying along the road proved otherwise. Stuyvesant students had school the following day and were confronted by remnants of the attack. English teacher Katherine Fletcher commented, “It was really weird at school the next day because it still seemed like a crime scene all around the area; you could see the truck that had been the murder weapon… was still out on the street. It was very disturbing. I didn’t have opinions beforehand on whether we should or should not have school, but as soon as we were here, I [felt] we should not be here. It seemed traumatizing to see the crime scene.”

Death Penalty: A Block Away

Since Saipov claimed to be influenced by ISIS terrorist videos, Mayor Bill de Blasio declared the act of violence a terrorist attack. This prompted immense fear in both tourists and residents alike. Saipov was found guilty of all 28 counts he

18 people were executed. Still, this is 18 people too many. The jury began hearing evidence on February 6, 2023, to determine Saipov’s punishment. He is the first defendant to face a death penalty trial in the presidential term of President Biden,

portant to acknowledge that this atrocity will forever be a part of Stuyvesant history. Understandably, teachers avoid discussing the death penalty as it can stir controversy and challenge societal norms. However, these conversations and debates are

By ELIZABETH KOLBASKO

My first memory of playing soccer is in the park next to my house with my dad. He made me fall in love with the sport; since that day in 2015, I have become a soccer fanatic. From arguing with friends about Messi and Ronaldo (I used to be a Ronaldo fangirl) to asking my dad countless questions about strategies and positions, soccer culture was an integral part of my childhood. My family is Ukrainian, and soccer is immensely popular in Eastern European countries. My dad and his friends obsess over soccer, so I was surprised that it wasn’t that big of a deal in America. My classmates were more interested in the Super Bowl and the National Basketball Association than in Major League Soccer or European soccer. This apathy stems from youth soccer, where the deeply flawed “pay-to-play” system in the U.S. turns an incredible sport that encourages unity into an elitist one.

The U.S. has long tried to increase the sport’s popularity, with the National Broadcasting Company spending more than $2.7 billion in 2021 to receive the rights to show the Premier League (the top league of soccer in England). The soccer market is a lucrative business valued at billions, but it is relatively untapped in the U.S. consumer

was charged for on January 26, 2023. Due to the scale of his attack, he is being tried federally, giving the jury the option of sentencing Saipov to death or life imprisonment. Capital punishment has been on the decline in the past few years; in 1999, 98 people were executed on death row, a considerably larger number than in 2022, during which

who has advocated against capital punishment. These trials are especially relevant to Stuyvesant students; we are not only New York City residents but also in extreme proximity to the attack. While students who were enrolled at the time of the attack have all graduated, much of the faculty that witnessed the attack are still at Stuyvesant. It is im-

important to understand why our country needs to change its conservative systems. High schools throughout the country should hold serious discussions regarding the death penalty, its history, and more humane alternatives.

Despite the horrific scale of this attack, the death penalty is not a justifiable punishment;

Project American Soccer

market. If soccer becomes more prevalent in American culture, being one of the first to benefit would be invaluable.

Recently, the U.S. men’s soccer team was eliminated from the 2022 World Cup in the Round of 16, a significant improvement since failing to even qual-

Youth soccer in the U.S. is not as popular compared to countries in South America and Europe. The root of the issue lies in a system of pre-professional soccer called “pay-toplay.” Families pay an average of $1,472 to $20,000 per year just for one child to participate

usually scouted and do not have to pay as much to play, this system discourages lower-income children from developing any interest in the sport.

The European model of youth soccer is much better than the American system. Many academies are free of

In countries like England and Brazil, where soccer is integrated into media and everyday life, national soccer teams and players are much more successful. Why can’t the U.S. replicate that?

ify for the last World Cup. This has significantly expanded the conversation around American soccer since the start of tournaments in December last year.

The phrase “it’s called soccer” spread over social media when the U.S. was set to play England, signifying a spark of interest in the sport. However, American viewership of soccer still lags behind, and the U.S. doesn’t consistently produce worldwide soccer stars. In countries like England and Brazil, where soccer is integrated into media and everyday life, national soccer teams and players are much more successful. Why can’t the U.S. replicate that?

in a soccer club. Correlated with the rising expense in organized athletics, participation in sports among families earning less than $75,000 has dropped since 2011. While town leagues are often a cheaper alternative to club soccer, the difference in the quality of equipment, staff, and training makes them an inadequate substitute. Listening to stories of athletes rising from nothing is inspiring and incredibly influential to the next generation of soccer players. However, with the current structure of youth soccer in the U.S., that dream is much harder to achieve. Though it is true that extraordinary players are

charge, including training and travel for selected players. For example, in England, the provided facilities and coaching are of top quality, producing some of the best soccer players in the world, such as Bukayo Saka and Reece James. Additionally, Spanish academies are regarded as some of the best in European soccer, producing the likes of Andrés Iniesta and Gerard Piqué. Even the great Lionel Messi impressed Barcelona, leading to the club paying for his medical treatment, which his parents could not have afforded otherwise. This decision led to two decades of amazing soccer and Barcelona’s

it is immoral and inhumane. Inmates on death row are not always guilty of their crimes, which raises ethical concerns. In addition, there is no way to reverse such an ultimate punishment, and the risk of killing an innocent person is far too high. From 1973 to 2023, 190 innocent individuals on death row were exonerated from all charges. And what about the mental trauma these individuals experienced while facing the death penalty? The excessive amount of time inmates spend in isolation waiting for their execution is inhumane: in the U.S., sentenced inmates often spend over a decade on death row before either being exonerated or executed. Thus, people on death row develop extreme mental stress. As many of us experienced during the pandemic, the effects of isolation are detrimental. It can lead to increased rates of depression, insomnia, and PTSD. Furthermore, isolation can be harmful to individuals close to the inmate. While Saipov’s guilt is not in question, it is still crucial to note that he is being subjected to physical and mental trauma because of the possibility of the death penalty being imposed. And, though supporters of the death penalty argue that it helps deter future crime, there is absolutely no evidence to support this claim. The prison system makes it dif-

continued on page 12

Golden Age in the 2000s and 2010s. Not only does this benefit young, lower-income players, but it also allows clubs to profit when homegrown players join their league teams and are sold to other clubs. Expensive clubs and camps in the U.S. may seem enticing with their incredibly extensive resources; however, when the youth soccer industry becomes so inflated, the sport becomes inaccessible. If clubs focus on potential and talent, they could build a reputation for producing incredible players. By taking advantage of a system that has already proven to work in Europe, American youth soccer can become more accessible, and the U.S. can become integrated into soccer culture worldwide.

European and South American academies aren’t the only factors that produce their most skillful players—it’s the culture that stems from those countries. Right now, “pay-to-play” is preventing soccer from becoming the domestic sensation that it has the potential to become in the U.S. If another system is adopted, such as the European model, more successful players can arise. Football, basketball, and baseball aren’t going anywhere, but a sport that brings American athleticism to the international stage for recognition is important, and everyone should have the opportunity to play.

Highway under the Tribeca Bridge, where the victims of the attack died.

Courtesy of Ibtida Khurshed

By AMANDA CISSÉ

(This essay was adapted from an in-class AP English Language assignment, edited by The Spectator)

A New York Times OpEd, “What Kind of Power

Should the Names of New York Have?” by Joshua JellySchapiro, argues that when confronting the history behind the names of public spaces, we should consider not only the origin of the names but also the new social and cultural meaning that residents have assigned to them. Stuyvesant High School is a culturally complex public space with an equally complex name. To better cultivate our national reputation for academic excellence and opportunity, we need to detach ourselves from the antisemitic enslaver Peter Stuyvesant.

Seventy two percent of students at Stuyvesant are Asian, 18 percent are White, 4 percent are Hispanic, 3 percent are mixed, 1 percent are Native American, 1 percent are Black, and 1 percent are Hawaiian. These demographics prove that we are a school for students from all over, including many

Stuyvesant the School, Not the Person

immigrants and first-generation students. Compared to many reputable New York private schools that are attended by a majority of white, high-income students, Stuyvesant shows the world that kids do not have to fit this profile to excel academically. The name “Stuyvesant” has grown to command respect around the country and even internationally as one of America’s top schools. Some parents begin preparing their children to take the SHSAT in early middle school or even elementary school because gaining acceptance to a specialized high school opens the door to a world of possibility. Stuyvesant provides us with the means to be successful in whatever we choose to do. With over 200 clubs, 43 athletic teams, 31 Advanced Placement classes, and every elective imaginable, there is nothing a student can’t achieve. Personally, I have been able to explore everything from the math team to the school newspaper, and have found support in guidance counselors, opportunities coordinators, and teachers who are always willing to help me progress inside and

outside of school. Going to Stuyvesant, as opposed to a different non-specialized school, can change the course of a student’s life.

Our namesake, however, represents something entirely different. Peter Stuyvesant was a Dutch director-general for the colony of New Netherland who expanded the settlement of New York City (then New Amsterdam) into downtown Manhattan. While Stuyvesant successfully administered the construction of Wall Street, Broad Street, and Broadway, he was also a raging racist. He was Manhattan’s largest slave owner and trader, and he used them for leverage in battle. He also forced Jewish refugees out of New Amsterdam, calling them “repugnant,” and was equally hateful towards Quakers, Catholics, and Lutherans. If he saw this school today, Peter Stuyvesant would be appalled by the diverse mix of religions and races at this school. If he heard about the Discovery program, which aims to make the school more accessible to marginalized students, or initiatives like the Diversity, Equity, and Inclu-

sion team, he would be horrified. However, these initiatives now represent what the name Stuyvesant has come to mean. They aim to expand access to the plethora of opportunities at Stuyvesant for high-performing, disadvantaged students around the city. Clearly, we need to re-evaluate the way we handle the name “Stuyvesant.”

During the Mayoral Primaries, Mayor Eric Adams proposed renaming all schools named after enslavers. Considering Peter Stuyvesant’s legacy, this type of reaction to the name “Stuyvesant” is certainly understandable. However, this approach ignores the new meaning the New York City community has assigned to the school. The best way to show that our school does not condone Peter Stuyvesant’s actions as a person while still upholding the new reputation associated with the name is by removing our attachment to Stuyvesant as a person. To begin, consider how our Black and Jewish students may feel when they walk by his giant portrait each time they enter the school building. Stuyvesant has many interest-

How Stuyvesant Fails Its Quiet Students

By JULIET BURGUIERES

For my entire academic life, every parent-teacher conference has ended the same way. The teacher, after praising my grades, would summarize their commentary with: “She’s a great student, but we wish she would raise her hand more often.” I never understood why there was a qualifier to “she’s a great student.” If I am a great student, and my work is of good quality, why is there a “but”?

Stuyvesant High School places high value on traditional forms of participation, such as verbal engagement and group work, thus failing to recognize the numerous reasons why someone may not be comfortable or able to contribute in these ways. Introversion, neurodiversity, and mental illness can make it difficult for many students to participate. Teachers often assert that they are helping students by forcing them to face their fears, with the viewpoint that these conditions fall under the umbrella of shyness. By doing this, they suggest that these students choose not to participate, but these students often are participating, just in their own way. Though hand-raising can help teachers track engagement, so could written responses, note-taking, and classwork, all of which should be alternatives for students who struggle to verbally participate. Teachers will also argue that jobs in the “real world” are becoming increasingly collaborative. While this may be true for some professions, there are still plenty that are more independent, including roles in academia, visual arts, and medicine. It isn’t a teacher’s or school’s job to predict what field of work their students will enter, and while many would agree that group

work can build social relationships and help students learn to work with others, it is unfair to evaluate our participation grade solely on these skills and ignore the contributions that different types of students bring to the classroom.

Most scientists agree that introversion is caused by the brain’s chemical makeup, backed

Stuyvesant upholds the standard that favors extroverts over introverts. This is deeply unfair. Instead, it should consider why so many of its students struggle to participate rather than perpetuating the false idea that some students need to “come out of their shell.” A teacher or administration should not encourage students to fundamentally

and highlight the many ways in which extroverts can learn from introverts. While group work can be beneficial, it can also create “lower quality ideas,” whereas time spent working alone can be more productive. None of the above should imply that I believe introverts are better than extroverts or that Stuyvesant should eliminate all

ing and accomplished alumni who deserve to be recognized at the entrance far more than Peter Stuyvesant does. A rotating set of portraits with notable alumni from different fields can replace Peter Stuyvesant’s portrait; jazz musician Thelonious Monk, actress Lucy Liu, actor James Cagney, former attorney general Eric Holder, or even recent young graduates are all options. There is also no reason that our sports teams should have the mascot “PegLeg Pete.” Not only does this name honor a slave trader and antisemite, but it is not intimidating to other athletic teams in the slightest—tigers, sharks, or lions would be more fitting. As a school, removing our association with the person “Stuyvesant” allows us to focus on the positive background behind the name. Our mascots, hallways, and student culture should honor the brilliant students and alumni who attend our school and have made their mark on the world in many different ways. These are the people who make Stuyvesant the excellent school that it is.

version or extroversion to be a result of how sensitive our brains are to dopamine. Susan Cain, author of Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, is at the forefront of a movement seeking to recognize the importance of introverts. In her 2012 TED Talk, Cain points out that an estimated third to a half of our population is introverted. And yet, our society insists that louder is better—that one must be assertive, sociable, and charismatic to succeed in all aspects of life. By grading us on characteristics that are intrinsic to some and unnatural to others,

change who they are to succeed academically. In fact, introverts might just be the students that Stuyvesant needs.

Teachers seem to believe that the ideal student is extroverted, and current teaching methods suggest that group work produces the best results. However, as Susan Cain said, “There’s zero correlation between being the best talker and having the best ideas.” Additionally, many studies prove that introverts are valuable students (as they are shown to be better decision-makers, more attentive to details, and more creative)

activities that extroverts thrive in, but most courses at Stuyvesant currently ignore the value of introverts. Therefore, by combining activities that work to the strengths of extroverts and introverts, we can improve our quality of work and productivity while making Stuyvesant a place where all students can excel in the process. Other often unacknowledged barriers to participation are race, gender, and queerness. We are taught from a young age that white male voices hold value, while minorities must struggle to be pretty, smart, and in-

teresting enough to be heard. In media, this is sometimes called tokenism, or the Smurfette Principle. Tokenism describes minorities being included solely for the illusion of diversity, while the Smurfette Principle is a common occurrence in movies and television, where there is only one woman, and often her sole purpose is to aid the white (or occasionally blue) male protagonist. Therefore, women and minorities are led to believe that there is never enough room for all of us and that when there is, it is reserved for only the best. After being told by every facet of society that they are not enough, very few would be willing to raise their hand to be heard. Our participation grades, as they are now, are discriminatory against women, minorities, and neurodivergent people. Ultimately, it boils down to how our society emphasizes traditional, more aggressive, “masculine” values. People are taught to believe that success in a competitive school or work culture is to be loud and assertive. Instead, we should value the knowledge and creativity that introverts bring to the table. Neurological diversity in our classrooms should be valued, and students’ different ways of learning should be celebrated. We should uplift those who are traditionally ignored, not by forcing them to do what makes them uncomfortable, but instead by rewarding them for how they do contribute. Students should tell their teachers when participation is making school difficult for them. Plenty of teachers likely don’t realize the effect that the current participation system has on some of their students. By bringing it to their attention, you can help yourself and others have a more equitable school environment while improving your grades in the process.

Rhea Malhotra / The Spectator

By ASHLEY LIN

A few weeks ago, I was at Vivi’s, and as I sipped on my coffee-jelly bubble tea, I realized I desperately needed to use the bathroom. I rushed out of the shop and into Dunkin’ Donuts but was turned away. I ran down the block and into several businesses, from expensive cafes to convenience stores, which all continued to turn me away until I ended up in Chipotle, where I could finally relieve myself. During those 15 minutes, only one thought ran through my mind: “I NEED TO PEE!”

New York City has a public restroom crisis.

Around 8.5 million people call New York City home, but it is home to less than 1,200 public restrooms. We’re ranked 93rd in the nation when it comes to public restrooms per capita. The numbers tell it all: New York City lacks the key public infrastructure needed to accommodate its residents.

As a city, we’ve consistently failed to improve bathroom access—the struggle to find a public bathroom is the direct result of municipal neglect and failed initiatives. In the 1930s, when Robert Moses was Parks Commissioner, New York City saw a vast increase in its public restroom infrastructure and mass renovations in preexisting bathrooms. In the 1970s, when faced with budget cuts and support for austerity measures, many public bathrooms were shut down, with rising crime

I NEED TO PEE!

and vandalism exacerbating the process. Since then, New York City has failed to view public restrooms as a public necessity. In 1990, a group of homeless people sued New York City and the Metropolitan Transportation Authority over the lack of public restroom accessibility. In response, the city created the

it never came to fruition. Under Mayor Michael Bloomberg, New York City tried to redeem itself through an initiative that sought to create 20 automated public toilets, but the attempt was futile—only five were installed, and they are currently in an abandoned warehouse in Queens.

continued from page 10

ficult for ex-inmates to receive rehabilitation meant to dissuade them from repeating crimes. A 2012 report, consistent with current findings, done by the California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation, found that more than 65 percent of those released from California’s prison system returned within three years. To break the cycle, society as a whole has to learn from its previous mistakes and implement policies that put more emphasis on psychological and physical well-being.

Systematically, the death penalty has several flaws—it often discriminates against certain ethnic minority groups and restricts human life to living in an isolated cell for decades. In 1997, David C. Baldus and George G. Woodworth conducted a study on the death penalty rates for all inmates that were eligible for the death penalty. They found that the likelihood of receiving the death penalty increased by 38 percent when the individual accused was Black. This racial discrimination is seen not only in the accused individuals but also in the jurors who influence the final verdict. As of 2022, approximately 2,500 prisoners face the possibility of capital punishment. The death penalty demonstrates a lack of humanity in the United States’s criminal

Public Toilets Working group, and in 1992, six toilets were installed in Manhattan. They were a success—over 40,000 people used them over the span of four months. The original plan was to build 100 more throughout the city, but complications with municipal government and contracts stalled the plan, and

The results of New York City’s failure to adequately address public restroom access are shared by @got2gonyc, a multi-platform social media account that I was recently made aware of. It’s dedicated to sharing locations of free bathrooms in New York City and advocating for more public restrooms

while highlighting stories where New Yorkers had no access to them. A 31-year-old with irritable bowel syndrome recounted a time when she defecated in her pants. A caretaker of adults with autism recalled when her client had an accident in CVS after being denied access to a restroom. A New York City construction worker with Crohn’s disease described the multiple times he’s had an accident and had to throw out his clothes. A homeless couple was denied the code to a public restroom, even after offering to purchase something with their limited funds. These incidents could’ve been avoided had there been a public restroom available. Each and every New Yorker, regardless of their socioeconomic background, health condition, or occupation, should be able to defecate and urinate with dignity, without humiliation, and within a safe, clean restroom. Other cities have accomplished far more than New York City; it’s clear that despite our development, we’ve still managed to fall behind when it comes to public restroom infrastructure. In Bremen, Nette Toilette (“Nice Toilet”) was founded in 2000 and provides increased access to restrooms through partnerships with private businesses—the initiative also expanded to over 200 municipalities. In Tokyo, public restrooms around the city were redesigned into having transparent facilities that turn opaque after doors were locked via the Tokyo Toilet Project, al-

Death Penalty: A Block Away

justice system, yet it is still used as a punishment.

There are much more humane and effective alternatives to the death penalty. All European prison systems have abolished the death penalty, and they have lower percentages of recidivism (the tendency of a criminal to reoffend after having left prison). In eastern Ger-

reform. Reform is important because it can reduce recidivism by at least 15 percent and is financially beneficial, as prisons can save money if inmates are not returning constantly. Giving inmates a chance to develop social skills and pursue hobbies is one step toward improving this country’s outdated prison system.

lowing the public to view the restrooms’ sanitation and cleanliness. In London, the government created the Community Toilet Scheme, which seeks to supplement the city’s restrooms by encouraging restaurants, stores, and bars to provide free toilet access to the public. New York City ought to look to other cities as examples of what we should be aiming for.

In October of last year, city legislators passed a law nicknamed the “Bathroom Bill,” which requires the city to identify potential sites where public restrooms can be built in every ZIP code. By all means, this bill is a first step in the right direction, but the work is not done. The bill does not mandate that the city build any public restrooms where they need to be. It takes real, tangible action to create real, tangible consequences. Instead of simply identifying potential sites for restrooms without following through with action, the New York City Council needs to require that public restrooms be built in those potential sites to truly create the changes we need to see in our status quo.

I’ve lived in and loved New York City for nearly 13 years. And before I leave for another city, I have one last call to action for the city that’ll always be my home: install more public restrooms, make our infrastructure more bladder-friendly, and foster a more livable city. When we have to go, we should be able to find a bathroom where we can go.

and communicate with others.

No matter what they have done, no one has the moral right to take away another’s life. As such, a prisoner is entitled to basic human decency and will probably respond better to it; being treated inhumanely only results in resenting and detesting the system even more, hence why the recidivism rates

Since most death row inmates end up spending decades alone in prison cells, there is no feasible way for them to maintain their health, a basic human need.

many, juvenile prisoners are dressed in everyday clothes: Tshirts, baseball caps, and jeans. Just the simple act of dressing them in street clothes humanizes them. Furthermore, inmates are encouraged to be responsible for their daily lives as they are allowed to cook their meals, participate in a variety of educational programs, and develop relationship skills with social workers and lawyers. The humanization of these inmates by European prison systems decreases the possibility of mental health crises occurring and allows inmates a possibility of

Saipov committed a horrific crime and should receive punishment for his actions. The victims, who were affected both physically and emotionally, deserve justice. However, sentencing Saipov to capital punishment is not the solution. Since most death row inmates end up spending decades alone in prison cells, there is no feasible way for them to maintain their health, a basic human need. A more humane punishment would be to sentence Saipov to life without parole. This way, he would still be allowed to exercise outdoors, receive education,

are much greater in the United States compared to countries in Europe, such as Germany. As the Saipov case develops further, it is crucial that students and teachers discuss the United States’s federal laws, the criminal justice system, and, as Fletcher said, “the morality and the immorality” of the death penalty.

Though none of the students currently at Stuyvesant experienced the attack, it is still a very relevant issue. However, the attack is rarely mentioned at school. Listening to both sides of the argument can provide students with a broader under-

standing of the topic and an unbiased education. The criminal justice system is a major part of our democracy; thus, it is crucial for students to learn about the punishments.

It is essential that we learn about events that impact our school. Immediately after the attack, Pedrick helped convert the school theater into a space where students could take a “mental break.” Counselors were available to talk to, Jenga and Uno were set out, and relaxing spa music was played to establish a calm atmosphere.

Currently, monthly Building Response Team (BRT) meetings are held to discuss safety protocols and crises happening at the school. The BRT also aims to discuss solutions for handling students’ and staffs’ emotional responses, shining a new light on mental health. It is vital that school communities work together for the benefit of everyone. Learning from what happened on October 31, 2017, as Pedrick puts it, “We can’t have a terrorist disrupt things. But at the time, it felt like the city wasn’t with us. I felt we were alone. They were partying, and we were stepping over bullets that were marked for evidence.” Working together to educate current and future generations is a goal we must emphasize in the upcoming years to transform America’s long history of inefficient systems.

Chuer Zhong / The Spectator

By MUHIB MUHIB

Governor Kathy Hochul nominated former New York State Supreme Court Judge Hector LaSalle on December 22, 2022, to be the Chief Judge on the New York Court of Appeals, New York’s highest court. LaSalle has a conservative record on reproductive rights and labor issues during his previous tenure and was the most conservative option available to Hochul on the commission shortlist for the seat. The nomination was even supported by the Chair of the New York Democratic Party, Jay Jacobs, despite LaSalle’s right-leaning values, as seen in his judicial record.

Currently, The New York State Court of Appeals is controlled by a narrow de facto conservative faction, despite all appointments having been made by Democratic governors. While nominations like these may seem like an anomaly, they have actually been a historical norm. They have been endorsed and pushed for by the party bosses of New York, who seek to keep their own power in place under guises such as “racial diversity,” especially since many party bosses like the notorious Luis A. Miranda Jr. and Rubén Díaz Jr. (the former Borough President) of the Bronx, are people of color. For instance, LaSalle’s nomination appears to have been made at the request of Miranda, as LaSalle is a close ally to Miranda. Despite New York being safely Democrat, former Governor Andrew Cuomo was one of the foremost proponents of this machinery, even propping up a Republican majority in the New York State Senate for years. This allowed him to maintain his power and protect himself from the scrutiny of many scandals during his tenure until the Trump era,

Crooked Machinery

as Cuomo positioned himself as the embodiment of Trump resistance.

With Cuomo’s disgraced resignation after his numerous scandals were finally uncovered, many hoped Hochul would be different. Sadly, this is not the case. She originally named Brian Benjamin, a member of the New York State Senate, as her successor as Lieutenant Governor, who was indicted on corruption charges not more than six months later. She had also

efeller Republicans” who were liberals on social policy and moderates on fiscal policy. Their main objective was to clean up the corruption of the machines by ensuring “good governance.”

They acted as a check on Democratic corruption, and only policies that weren’t a reflection of the corruption would be passed. This is also how the New York State Senate came to be controlled by Republicans for many years before 2019. The Rockefeller Republicans soon died

terests of the voter. These party bosses can also control political appointments and policy in Albany and City Hall through their crucial support and voter turnout apparatus. The aim of these party bosses is simple: entrench their own rule and those of their friends, even if it harms their constituents. Albany and local politics have for so long operated within these machines with no desire to reform.

The failures of machine politics in New York are abun-

LaSalle has a conservative record on reproductive rights and labor issues during his previous tenure and was the most conservative option available to Hochul on the commission shortlist for the seat.

previously named a conservative-leaning judge earlier that year to the Court of Appeals. Bogged down by the corrupt appointments, the state party apparatus lost races in New York City and then nearly lost statewide races in deep blue New York. This likely cost the national party control of the United States House of Representatives through losses of five seats Democrats won at the presidential level in 2020.

The origin of these political machines dates back to Tammany Hall. Tammany Hall dominated New York politics throughout the 19th century and the first half of the 20th century. The political machine pandered to Italian and Irish Catholic immigrants to win their votes, eventually installing them into positions of power.

The taint of this corruption led to the election of many “Rock-

out as they eventually became the embodiment of “Republicans In Name Only,” with the national Republican Party and state Republican party now run by full-throated conservatives. Still, modern-day iterations of Tammany Hall corruption live on in the many county machines that make up the state machine. Counties have local party bosses that choose their nominees, which in many cases, is tantamount to an election, though they are not necessarily invincible. These bosses have been known to take bribes for nominations, resulting in several indictments of party bosses.

The corruption of these county machines feeds into the state Democratic Party. The state party can nominate statewide officials and effectively bypass any form of the primary process involving voters, which can conflict with the in-

dant. The state court of appeals is controlled by conservatives in a deeply liberal state and has shown no restraint at hostility toward individual rights. Legislation such as marriage equality and protecting reproductive rights took much longer in New York than in similar blue states. The party boss machines are incompetent as well, failing to get the aforementioned ballot measures passed and making New York 10 points closer than the perennial swing state of Pennsylvania in the gubernatorial elections of 2022. Instead of heeding lessons like the “shellacking” 2022 was for the New York Democratic Party, elected officials have continued to move forward on a legislative agenda that has struggled to be reflective of the desires of the people.

The biggest indictment of the failure of machine politics was the loss of five seats

in the United States House of Representatives in 2022, costing Democrats a House majority. The machine did not run any campaign for its members and instead attacked perceived threats; for example, they successfully defeated the socialist Democratic nominee for Mayor of Buffalo in 2021. Machine bosses were attacked as well, as seen in Harlem and the Bronx unsuccessfully attempting to primary pro-reform Democrats in August 2022. The failure to win these seats resulted in a House controlled by a disunified Republican majority, resulting in the first deadlocked Speaker of the United States House of Representatives election since December 1923.

This situation was dangerous because it rendered the House incapable of passing legislation. With Congress unable to legislate, any pressing matter such as a government shutdown, reauthorizing appropriations for the military, or lifting the debt ceiling cannot be done.

The only way to fix the flaws of the machines is to purge them of their corruption. However, members of the machine are actively willing to destroy reformers and burn their apparatus in the process. The problems of corrupt machines unaccountable to the people are clear. We must elect good government reformers who will actively represent the interests of their constituents and burn down the machine, no matter the cost or the pains of doing so (even if it means temporarily losing areas if we have to win them by adopting contradictory values). We must then pass government and ethics reform that will ensure our elected officials are held accountable, thus allowing people to have a true say in their government. It is time we end the machines forever.

When It’s Time to Wish Farewell to a Fluffy Friend

By STEFANIE CHEN

It’s nighttime. You’re getting ready for bed, and behold: a bed stacked to the brim with stuffed animals galore. Your favorite sparkly unicorn is under your right arm, and an old purple monkey is tucked beneath your left. You feel like you’re six years old again, sleeping with stuffed animals surrounding your entire being.

But then, you suddenly remember that you’re not, in fact, six years old anymore. You’re 28 years old, have a full-time job, and must wake up at 6:00 a.m. to go to work. Yet, you have a bed full of stuffed animals, and it’s the only place where you feel safe. You begin to feel too old to enjoy all of these toys.

There has always been a negative sentiment toward adults sleeping with stuffed toys. While it’s acceptable for a child to run and play with their magical horse plushie, it’s frowned upon for adults to do the same. Adults are expected to display maturity, and stuffed animals are uncontested sym-

bols of childhood. Most people feel that these stuffed animals are signs of weakness, so an adult having stuffed toys is deemed humorous and shameful. However, contrary to common belief, it isn’t unhealthy or immature for adults to hold on to their stuffed toys, nor is it really all that uncommon.

Despite the stigma against adults sleeping with plush toys, adults owning stuffed animals are not a rare occurrence. According to a 2017 study of 2,000 Americans conducted by Build-a-Bear Workshop, a popular custom-stuffed toy outlet, nearly 40 percent still slept with a stuffed animal. More than 56 percent of adults had owned a stuffed toy and kept it for at least two decades. Seventy percent planned to keep their stuffed toy “forever.” Another survey by OnePoll and Life Storage in 2018 found that more than four in every 10 adults in America still slept with a stuffed animal. Best Mattress Brand conducted a survey involving 2,000 people in 2017 revealing that only 30 percent of participants would

feel bothered if their partner still slept with a stuffed animal. Not only do a significant number of adults own stuffed animals, but people are also gradually growing less judgmental toward those who do.

Sleeping with stuffed animals as an adult isn’t unhealthy and can even be beneficial to one’s health. According to Margaret Van Ackeren, a licensed therapist, adults sleep with stuffed animals to feel secure and reduce feelings of loneliness and anxiety. For adults with hectic work schedules and stressful work habits, stuffed animals can be an effective coping mechanism. Stuffed animals can also help improve work productivity by lessening negative feelings or treating mental illnesses that may interfere with work, such as PTSD and bipolar disorder, proving effective as psychotherapy. Rose M. Barlow, a professor of psychology at Boise State University, elaborates on the use of stuffed animals for adult therapy as mediums to express emotions and as sources of unconditional

support. As many commonly associate stuffed animals with childhood, these toys can also drastically help adults heal from childhood neglect or abuse. On the other hand, stuffed animals can negatively affect an individual’s adult life. According to behavioral health specialist Tracey Jones, MD, the harms or benefits of stuffed animals are highly dependent on how they affect an individual’s emotional integrity, daily function, and personal relationships. Though stuffed animals can help adults with anxiety and depression find a way to sleep, it can also make it significantly more difficult for an individual to fall asleep without a stuffed toy. This can prove especially harmful to adults who rely on consistent sleep schedules to keep up with their workflow. While a teddy bear can help calm an individual’s woes, it can also lead to attachment issues, such as not being able to travel places or meet new people without it tagging along. Even though obsessive attachments are possible, stuffed animals can do the

opposite just as well by reducing stress to help an individual sleep or acting as a transitional device from another toxic attachment. In addition, they can help adults who suffer from childhood trauma or mental disorders and improve work productivity. Despite the occasional disadvantages stuffed animals may have, the pros of having one are many times greater.

While there is still controversy over whether or not it’s immature for adults to sleep with stuffed animals, the benefits are undeniable. Better sleep, increased work productivity, reduced feelings of loneliness and anxiety, and emotional support are all advantages that come with a stuffed animal friend. All that has to be done now is to reduce the stigma toward sleeping with a stuffed animal 20 years after childhood. Instead of judging someone who owns a stuffed animal, it may be better to think about the benefits the stuffed animal may provide them. In any case, stuffed animals won’t ever cause more harm than they resolve.

A Defoliant of Destruction: Agent Orange

By OLIVIA ZHENG

In the bustle of Ho Chi Minh City, a maternity hospital called Peace Village bears the dangerous inheritance of the Vietnam War. Doctors at the center care for children born with deformities. They believe that these defects are the result of maternal exposure to traces of the U.S.-deployed Agent Orange.

Agent Orange was an herbicide used by the U.S. Army during the Vietnam War to clear the dense forests that protected opposing communist Viet Cong soldiers. Huge plumes of dusty bright orange gas trailed behind fighter planes; in their wake, thick forests were reduced to naked trees and contaminated soil, exposing the Viet Cong. The North Vietnamese saw their agricultural supply diminish. They were not the only ones to face the consequences of Agent Orange; the U.S. soldiers dispensing Agent Orange and engaging in combat on the herbicide-treated ground discovered decades later that they had not been spared from the defoliant’s devastating biological damages.

Agent Orange was initially manufactured by the Monsanto Company, after which Monsanto, the Dow Chemical Company, and a number of other companies mass produced the

herbicide at the request of the government under the U.S. Defense Production Act of 1950. The defoliant was then used by the American military at 20 times the concentration suggested by manufacturers.

Agent Orange has been reported to cause a slew of health issues in soldiers and Vietnamese residents, most of which are linked to a toxic contaminant in some batches of Agent Orange: tetrachlorodibenzodioxin (TCDD). TCDD is a dioxin, a family of compounds that are persistent environmental pollutants. Traces of dioxins are found everywhere, and exposure to concentrated levels of dioxins can severely damage human health.

In U.S. soldiers, Agent Orange has been found to increase susceptibility to a number of cancers, including non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma, prostate cancer, and multiple myeloma. In fact, the World Health Organization’s International Agency for Research on Cancer has classified TCDD as a known human carcinogen, a category of substances for which there is sufficient and convincing evidence of carcinogenicity (the ability to cause or increase the presence of cancer). Other health issues linked with the dioxin include Parkinson’s disease, ischemic heart disease, and even diabetes.

Following decades of legal battles, American veterans of the Vietnam War and their families will be able to receive greater compensation from the U.S. government. The Promise to Address Comprehensive Toxics (PACT) Act began processing on January 1, 2023.

The PACT Act adds to the list of conditions caused by military service for which veterans can have their healthcare costs covered. One of the substances mentioned in the PACT Act is Agent Orange.

The legislation also provides veterans with toxic exposure screenings every five years, increases research conducted on veterans who served in select conflicts or regions, and allows the construction of over 30 new healthcare facilities to improve veteran healthcare. According to Military Times, the healthcare coverage offered by the legislation will benefit roughly 800,000 veterans.

The PACT Act includes 12 types of cancer, respiratory illnesses linked to burn pit exposure, and, for Vietnam veterans only, high blood pressure and a protein abnormality called monoclonal gammopathy of undetermined significance.

However, the United States Department of Veterans Affairs excludes glioblastomas, which are cancers that start in the brain or spinal cord. This de-

cision has been the subject of controversy, as TCDD has been shown to increase the risk of developing a range of cancers, including glioblastomas.

Today, decades after the Vietnam War, many areas in Vietnam remain polluted by Agent Orange. The most contaminated of these areas are clustered around three air bases: Da Nang, Phu Cat, and Bien Hoa. Vietnamese regions affected by Agent Orange still see higher birth defect rates than unaffected regions, including neural tube defects like spina bifida. Developmental abnormalities in children, such as Tourette’s syndrome and cerebral palsy, have also been reported. These conditions can cause problems such as language and speech difficulties, motor impairments, and stunted memory and learning. The families of children affected by these conditions receive little support from the Vietnamese government, but some have received aid from the United States Agency for International Development.

There remains relatively little research on the link between Agent Orange and specific conditions, particularly cancers and birth defects, in humans. More research in these areas would make it easier for both U.S. veterans and Vietnamese families impacted by the use

SCIENCEBEAT

The rising popularity of Open AI tool ChatGPT caused plagiarism and cheating issues in the education sector, pressuring schools to place protective measures. However, some argue that ChatGPT can be used to reduce the teacher burdens by generating lessons.

On February 6, Google released its own AI tool, Bard, to compete with ChatGPT, but the factual error it made during its first demonstration cost Google $100 billion in shares.

Microsoft recently unveiled the latest update to its Bing and Edge browser, adding an AI-powered search engine with the ability to compose and chat.

of Agent Orange to receive compensation. With the PACT Act in place, this research will hopefully be more likely to find adequate funding in the near future. As for the children of Peace Village and the Vietnamese citizens living on contaminated land, a formal acknowledgment of the U.S.’s role in their current struggle is as necessary as funding and aid.

Organocatalysis: From Metals to Monumental Catalysis

By MAHIR HOSSAIN

If you have ever taken a good look at your hands, chances are you found nothing wrong with them. Your left hand avidly flips through the pages of your English assignment, while your right hand scrolls through the latest TikTok videos. Your hands, while doing two very different jobs, are also opposites of each other. If you put your hands in front of you and try to layer them on top of each other, it will be impossible to overlap them. This property, known as asymmetry, is one of the key concepts in Nobel Prize-winning chemists Benjamin List and David MacMillan’s contributions to the field of organocatalysis.

To understand the fundamentals of organocatalysis, more specifically referred to as asymmetric organocatalysis, and its use in chemical practice, it is essential to break down the term into its constituents. Catalysis is the act of lowering a reaction’s activation energy, or the amount of energy needed for a reaction to transform reactants into products, improving efficiency and leading to a higher product yield. A catalyst’s role may be to reorient molecules, agitate reactants, or serve as a reactant. The concept of asymmetric reactions, as demonstrated by your hands, can also be applied in organic chemistry to create higher yields of different molecules. In fact, we say that molecules are able to have “handedness”— they are either left-handed (S notation) or right-handed (R

notation). These categorizations are fundamental to stereochemistry, which is the study of molecules in 3D space and their effects on chemical reactions. However, depending on whether a molecule is left-handed or right-handed, the properties of the molecule can be completely different, and in some cases, incredibly toxic to the body or

the right-handed product.

other organisms. Toxic molecules are most commonly righthanded. A very famous example is the molecule thalidomide. The left-handed version of the molecule was used as a sedative, while the right-handed version was proven to damage embryos during human pregnancy. Thus, it was an extremely crucial task for chemists to confirm that their catalysts had a higher yield of the left-handed product than

“Organo-” refers to the usage of organic molecules rather than enzymes or metals, as catalysts. In their research, List and MacMillan identified two problems with the two existing types of catalysis they were investigating. Enzymes are incredibly specific to their substrate complexes, and under certain environmental stressors, such as heat and pH changes, protein structures denature, preventing molecules from binding to the enzymes to be activated. Metal catalysts are often preferred because of their ability to exist in different oxidation states, which refers to atoms in different ionic forms. The same goes for many other transition metals, including zinc, copper, and platinum. However, the release of metal

cations, or molecules with a positive charge, into the atmosphere allows for the formation of dangerous heavy metals such as palladium, which are toxic to humans. MacMillan’s goal was to phase out metal catalysts by using compounds composed of carbon, nitrogen, and hydrogen to create the same products that metal catalysts would have. All of this would be done with little to no pollution into the atmosphere—a significant step toward sustainable scientific research.

MacMillan and his team worked to make a 90 percent left-handed yield using the Diels-Alder reaction mechanism as a basis. Using molecular engineering, MacMillan’s team managed to alter the shape of the first-generation catalyst they had originally designed by adding two more methyl groups, resulting in 95 to 99 percent desirable yields. This allowed for other existing reaction mechanisms, in which catalysis could be performed with organic molecules as substitutes for metals in hundreds of different reactions. Scientists would no longer have to rely on the costly and inadequate supply of metal catalysts.

The applications of organocatalysis are still fairly new, but many chemists have already started to utilize this process in environmental chemistry to break down plastics, including polyethylene terephthalate (PET). For over a decade, environmental scientists have been exploring ways to efficiently reduce plastic waste in aqueous bodies, as well as maintain

the quality of the plastic constant when it is reused. Recent studies in the Green Chemistry journal found that scientists used a catalyst known as tetramethylammonium methyl carboxnate to break down PET into its monomer, dimethyl terephthalate, while simultaneously preserving the PET polymer’s traits. This proves that the chemical recycling of plastic can be achieved sustainably through organocatalysis without producing mass plastic waste in oceans.

Perhaps the most exciting news is for scientists in the pharmaceutical and biochemical industries; organocatalysis can be used to assist in biochemical reactions, producing molecules that trigger cell signaling pathways within living organisms. As of now, organocatalysis has used methyl nitrite as a catalyst to produce drugs that can be used to treat migraines caused by hypocalcemia, calcium deficiencyin the blood. With further testing, scientists hope to be able to prescribe this molecular drug to prevent future hospitalizations that occur from active transport malfunction.

The future of organocatalysis is one that scientists do not have to worry about cost, hazardous waste, or accessibility. It comes down to what people can make using the simple nitrogenous catalyst pathways proposed by List and MacMillan. The possibilities— perfumes, medicine, furniture manufacturing—are quite endless, as endless as a chemist’s imagination.

Rachel Wang / The Spectator

By ELMA KHAN

It is 12:01 a.m. on a weeknight and your brain is buzzing from the onslaught of work on your to-do list. Despite coming home from your extracurriculars and doing homework for five hours (maybe with a bit of procrastination), the prospect of sleep is nowhere in sight. As Stuyvesant students, it is difficult for us to balance our academics and personal lives, resulting in sleepless nights. Teenagers require eight to 10 hours of sleep each night, but often end up with five to six hours because of the plethora of tests, projects, and homework. Instead of napping on the train to school, a much more effective way to make up for a lack of sleep is meditation.

There are many types of meditation, each with a different practice and purpose. In breathing-based meditation, one simply focuses on inhaling and exhaling for five to seven minutes. In visualization meditation, one visualizes a place in nature by imagining sensory details. In mantra meditation, one repeats an empowering message to one’s self to build confidence and calm. Despite the numerous variations, each of these methods has the same goal: improving one’s mental state through mindfulness training. Some benefits include heightened awareness, stress relief, and invigoration of the body and mind. Sleeping has very similar effects,

Can Meditation Substitute for Sleep?

as it decreases stress and repairs brain damage by removing toxic waste byproducts, as well as regenerating tissue to repair bodily damage. Like meditation, sufficient sleep leads to increased dopamine—a hormone that induces feelings of pleasure—and improved fitness and cognitive functions.

New research has shown that every 10 minutes of meditation can substitute for 44 minutes of sleep. Meditation releases serotonin, gamma-aminobutyric acid, and melatonin, chemicals that regulate moods and allow for restful sleep. Meditation is able to naturally mimic the results of melatonin supplements, which are sometimes used to treat insomnia. Essentially, meditation trains the brain to initiate the same processes that occur during sleep—breathing slows and deepens, awareness sharpens, and the subconscious and conscious minds intermingle.

Meditation improves the quality of sleep so that we do not need as much of it. Anecdotal evidence from Buddhist texts suggests that proficient meditators only need three to four hours of sleep daily to cover for a full night’s sleep. According to a study conducted by the New York Academy of Sciences, meditation beginners initially require a bit more sleep, as it takes some time to learn to rest the mind while awake. Over the course of eight weeks, however, a participant in one of the

experiments stated that her sleep began to diminish to 1.5 to 3 hours per night. Similar trends

increased wakefulness during the day after eight weeks. Generally, when meditation is first prac-

shown that increased wakefulness and lower sleep propensity occur with consistent meditation. Therefore, before tests and other stress-inducing tasks, the awareness and anxiety relief that comes with meditating can be beneficial for students.

Meditation has the potential to counteract the problems resulting from sleep deprivation, both short-term (impaired memory and concentration, drowsiness, overeating, dimmed mood) and long-term (weight gain, high blood pressure, diabetes, overall impaired brain function).

By ERICA WONG

It is a cold winter day, and your alarm rings first thing in the morning. You groggily drag yourself out from the warm comfort of your bed, complete your morning routine, and bundle up, ready to face the season’s harsh winds. After school, you go home, unwillingly finish your homework, and fall asleep. You repeat this routine every day, but notice that as winter progresses, getting out of bed seems to become harder and harder. You lose motivation to do simple things like studying or even going out with friends. While many of us may dismiss this melancholy as the winter blues, there is a chance it could be something more. These symptoms could be signs of seasonal affective disorder (SAD).

Seasonal affective disorder is a major depressive disorder that maintains a four to five-month cycle. For most, SAD peaks during winter and vanishes in summer, but for some, it can be the opposite. The specific seasonal trend leads to distinct symptoms. In the winter pattern, SAD symptoms include social withdrawal, oversleeping, hypersomnia, overeating, and weight gain. On the other hand, summer pattern SAD may present symptoms of increased anxiety, agitation, insomnia, and extreme aggression. Though summer pattern SAD is just as debilitating as winter pattern SAD, it is less common in comparison to

were found in other participants, who noted that daily meditation, though initially unable to supplement a full night’s sleep, led to

ticed, required sleep decreases by 30 minutes and continues to fall as practice continues.

Neuroimaging studies have

The Winter Blues or Seasonal Depression?

the five percent of the population that suffers from the latter.

SAD is most prevalent in the wintertime due to changes in our internal clocks, sunlight deficiency, and hormonal changes within the body. Our circadian rhythm is highly sensitive to light

mood. MRI and CT scans show that individuals with SAD have more serotonin transport proteins, which remove the chemical from the brain. Sunlight keeps these proteins relatively low, but as the nights grow longer in the winter, transport pro-

disturb the body’s natural cycle, making it harder to remain happy and motivated.

The value of meditation is its convenience and accessibility; anyone can start meditating at any time, unlocking immense mental and physical health benefits. Students can begin their meditation journey by practicing 10 minutes of breathing concentration in a quiet space during a free period. If they progress to meditating one to two times a week, it can slowly decrease the necessary sleeping time until they need one to two hours less. However, nothing can replace good old-fashioned sleep. While meditation can supplement sleep in small quantities, it is dangerous to rely on purely these methods because sleep is absolutely essential to physical and mental health. Though there seems to be a stigma around meditation because it is viewed as something for hippies and YouTube yoga gurus, it offers a plethora of benefits.

and darkness, prompting releases of specific hormones, such as melatonin or cortisol, to adjust metabolism or spur activity. However, in the winter, the lack of sunlight signals to our bodies that it is nighttime. This disrupts our natural circadian rhythms by releasing signals throughout the day that mistakenly tell us we should be asleep. This disruption can increase fatigue or cause depression, as an imbalance in the circadian system can lead to neurological dysfunction. Individuals with SAD also tend to have lower levels of serotonin, a neurotransmitter that regulates

tein levels dramatically increase. Furthermore, sunlight deficiency in the winter decreases the amount of vitamin D the body receives, making it difficult for it to support healthy serotonin levels.Thus, serotonin levels decrease in the winter months, impacting the brain’s ability to regulate feelings like anxiety and happiness. Changes in sunlight exposure also cause the bodies of people with SAD to stimulate more melatonin production. The increased amounts of melatonin, a sleep hormone, result in extreme fatigue throughout the day. All these changes can

Though some individuals suffer from SAD symptoms, there is also a milder seasonal condition that most people have: the winter blues. The winter blues are caused by the season’s shortened daylight hours and cloudiness, which limit sunlight exposure. While the same physiological changes cause both conditions, there are differences between SAD and winter blues. For one, SAD has unique causes, including changes in serotonin transport proteins and melatonin production regulation. Another difference is that while individuals with the winter blues experience sadness and fatigue, these effects are temporary and moderate compared to those associated with SAD. While the winter blues are depressing for many, they are limited to the winter months, not debilitating to simple tasks, and not guaranteed to return annually. Winter blues can affect anyone and can be treated easily with vitamin D exposure, a healthy sleep schedule, and regular exercise. In contrast, a SAD diagnosis requires a professional opinion, and once diagnosed, requires medical treatment, such as medication or therapy.

SAD is commonly treated through antidepressants, primarily selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs). SSRIs treat depression, increasing serotonin levels in the brain by

blocking its reabsorption in the neurons, thus improving the transmission of neuron messages. Bupropion is another second-line medication used to treat SAD in cases where SSRIs are not used. Bupropion targets specific conditions like anxiety disorder symptoms, and is not frequently associated with side effects impacting libido. Medication use is solely up to the decision of a patient and their doctor; an important factor to consider is whether the patient is already on other antidepressants. Alternatively, some consider light therapy or phototherapy to be an effective treatment for SAD patients. Light therapy encourages the brain to reduce the production of melatonin and serotonin by mimicking natural light. Psychologists also recommend cognitive behavioral therapy, a type of talk therapy, to treat SAD.

Depression is a powerful feeling, one with the capacity to compromise quality of life. It can be difficult to maintain positivity and hope, especially when students have to juggle school stress, familial issues, and extracurriculars. Researchers are still looking for more effective SAD treatments, but emphasize the importance of self-care in combating mental illness. If you are diagnosed with SAD, the school support system—guidance counselors, tusted adults, and friends—are there to help you prioritize your mental health this season.

Joey Chen / The Spectator

Yile Tong / The Spectator

By JEFFERY ZHANG

What comes to mind when you think of the American West?

The landscapes of Yellowstone or the prairies of the Great Plains?

Perhaps the Oregon Trail and its iconic bison? Named the national mammal of the U.S. in 2016, the American bison was once the greatest symbol of the West. In the 16th century, at least 30 million bison roamed the Great Plains. Despite the staggering number of bison, 19th-century American pioneers nearly hunted them to extinction. Today, conservationists and indigenous groups are collaborating to restore bison to the American prairies. As the largest mammal in North America, bison play an essential ecological role in their grassland environment. A keystone species, bison positively transform the land where they live, allowing other species to thrive. As bison graze, they prevent the disproportionate growth of particular grass species, reducing the risk of wildfires and increasing biodiversity. A study by Kansas State University found that the introduction of bison into ungrazed prairies nearly doubled native plant populations, including those of drought-resistant grasses that were previously absent. In the winter, bison use their heads to clear snow while grazing, exposing grass to other herbivores. Bison also roll around in the mud to groom themselves and socialize, creating depressions in the ground called wallows. Wallows can collect rainwater and become habitats for plants, amphibians, insects, and reptiles. Sixteen percent of prairie plant species are only found in wallows. Bison’s effects on their environment, combined with their tolerance of heat and

cold, make them an integral part of the Great Plains ecosystem. Bison have also long held spiritual and economic significance to many indigenous peoples of the Great Plains, collectively known

hunted bison for food, their hides, and sport, as well as to clear land for development. Thousands of bison were killed every day, and by 1900, only 300 wild bison were left in North America.

took over the natives’ traditional homelands.

as the Plains Indians, who consider bison their kin. Bison provided food, clothing, shelter, and many other necessities to the Plains Indians. In return, the Plains people managed the grasslands upon which the bison grazed, and one of the ways they did so was by using controlled fires to renew the soil’s nutrients. They made sure not to let any part of the bison go to waste and always honored the bison’s sacrifice in religious ceremonies.

Before Europeans arrived in the New World, the American bison’s range stretched from California to New York and from Mexico to Canada. In the 1800s, however, American settlers made their way west, motivated by government incentives and irresistible opportunities. To this end, the U.S. government granted hundreds of thousands of pioneers free land. As these settlers migrated, they

Many Americans during this period considered indigenous people a hindrance to societal progress and believed they needed to be assimilated or removed. As a result, the U.S. government and army sponsored the massacre of bison to destroy the Plains Indians’s source of food and culture.

In 1830, President Andrew Jackson signed the Indian Removal Act to authorize the relocation of indigenous groups. Later presidents, including Ulysses S. Grant and Theodore Roosevelt, continued to reject the conservation of bison in order to continue the destruction of the Plains peoples’ cultures. In the aftermath, the U.S. government forced indigenous peoples onto Indian reservations, often consisting of undesirable agricultural lands. The indigenous people were deprived of economic opportunities and often lived in poverty, while American settlers

Of the remaining wild bison, only one herd survived in a region known today as Yellowstone National Park, where they still remain. When Yellowstone National Park was established in 1972, one of its primary goals was to protect the bison and restore herd populations. Under the management of conservationists, the herd’s numbers have grown to over 5,000—enough to put a strain on the park’s grazing land. Though the number is a promising sign of the bison’s recovery, park officials have to slaughter the excess population. But since 2012, the National Park Service has been shipping excess bison to indigenous nations such as the Dakota (Sioux) and Nakoda (Assiniboine) tribes at the Fort Peck Indian Reservation in Montana. Similarly, the Kainai First Nation of Canada also reintroduced bison to their land. These programs are part of a growing movement to return bison to the Great Plains.

In 2014, many Plains Indian nations, including the Dakota, Nakoda, and Kainai, came together to sign the Buffalo Treaty, an intertribal agreement to return bison to the Great Plains through collaborative conservation efforts. The Buffalo Treaty signatories pledge “to welcome BUFFALO to once again live among us as CREATOR intended […] to nurture each other culturally and spiritually.” As their peoples have long been the caretakers of their land, the treaty nations aspire to rebuild their economic, cultural, and ecological ties to the bison. Today, the Buffalo Treaty nations and the Intertribal Buffalo Council manage 20,000 bison across several Indian reservations. There,

the bison roam with minimal human intervention; the indigenous nations intervene only to remove excess bison and prevent overpopulation. These excess bison can play a role in traditional hunts, providing both food and a cultural experience for tribe members. Otherwise, the surplus bison are sold or sent to other conservation herds.

Though the reintroduction of bison has the potential to improve the Great Plains’s biodiversity and increase the autonomy of indigenous nations, there are also many consequences that come with their resettlement. Many indigenous people work in the cattle industry, and some do not support the reintroduction of bison. The bison’s size, strength, and ability to jump fences can lead to conflicts with cattle ranchers. Bison can enter and graze on pastures reserved for cattle, harming cattle ranchers who already struggle with drought and growing debts. Bison can also transmit diseases like brucellosis to cattle, which can cause miscarriage. These risks have prevented bison from being released into the wild without supervision, leading most bison to be kept on tribal lands.

Overall, the reintroduction of bison presents an extraordinary opportunity to heal the economic, ecological, and cultural wounds left by their absence. If examined more deeply, it is a complex issue in which all parties must work together to consider potential impacts, both positive and negative. Despite this, the work of Native Americans and conservationists has shown that bringing back the bison is possible. Though the Great Plains have changed since the 1500s, one day, bison may roam across the open prairie once more.

Elizabeth Chao / The Spectator

Arts and Entertainment Playlist

Meret Oppenheim: Spontaneity in Surrealism Art

By MAEGAN DIEP and GRACE RHEE

Upon entering Meret Oppenheim: My Exhibition, viewers’ attention is immediately grabbed by the electric lime colors, which boldly hint at Meret Oppenheim’s characteristic unconventionality. A projected black-and-white documentary demonstrates Oppenheim’s creative process for her most famous piece, Object (1936). From sculptures to paintings, the various mediums showcase her vast collection of intriguing yet provocative art. Venturing deeper into the exhibition reveals much about Oppenheim’s message and personal narrative.

Oppenheim was born in Berlin, Germany on October 6, 1913 to a family of Swiss analysts. From a young age, Oppenheim was exposed to psychoanalytic theory, inclining her to keep a dream diary—a constant springboard for inspiration. Her affinity for art took root in her childhood. Her high school math notebook contained the equation “X = an Orange Rabbit,”perhaps her first documented artistic social commentary. Oppenheim later enrolled in art classes at the esteemed Académie de la Grande Chaumière, quickly making a name for herself in the art industry despite the field’s oppression of female artists. Oppenheim’s captivating surrealist pieces were able to break down barriers, allowing her to be accepted in fine art’s inner circles and rise to fame.

Oppenheim, a prominent artist during the Surrealism movement of the 20th century, had an artistic

Music

By MADELINE HUTCHINSON

Hype is building for the release of The Record. Julien Baker, Phoebe Bridgers, and Lucy Dacus have finally reunited as “boygenius.” Boygenius (stylized in lowercase) is the epitome of a supergroup; the band consists of three of the most potent and talented solo indie rock musicians of our generation. Formed in 2018, boygenius started as a small side project for the three friends— an outlet to express their femininity and combat the inherent patriarchy of the indie rock scene. Bridgers addressed the message behind the group’s name in a 2018 Vogue interview, explaining that, “Men are taught to be entitled to space and that their ideas should be heard because they’re great ideas, and women are taught the opposite—that they should listen instead of speak… So a ‘boygenius’ is someone who, [for] their whole life, has been told that their ideas are genius.” Boygenius creates the space for these three artists to share their stories.

Boygenius’s 2018 self-titled debut EP represented a seamless amalgamation of the members’ signature melancholic styles, yet still managed to preserve their unique cadences. In the five years since its debut, boygenius has become a larger phenomenon than its creators anticipated, demonstrated by two significant announcements for the year ahead: a performance at the Coachella Music Festival and their first full-length album, The Record. The album will be released on March 31 with 12 new songs, including the three singles released last month: “$20,” “Emily, I’m Sorry,” and “True Blue.” The

style that reflects both abstract and imaginative expressions. Her exhibition poignantly highlights her spontaneity. She does not restrict herself to one particular form or technique, uniquely defining her lively collection. Her most notable work, Object, is a fantastical transformation of everyday objects into luxurious items. Object is an assemblage, consisting of a teacup, saucer, and spoon, all draped in Chinese gazelle fur. This mindbending piece was inspired by a conversation in a Pari sian cafe, in which cubist painter Pablo Picasso and his girlfriend, Dora Maar, admired Oppenheim’s fur bracelet. Tea sets and fur are both associated with opulence and so phistication among women, yet the almost grotesque combination of the two materi als seems to contradict these conventional symbols of refinement. Artist André Breton even viewed Object as a representation of a fur fetish. Despite the room it grants for interpretation, this piece is usually regarded as a rejection of the materialism associated with femininity. Though the ensemble is presented as a simplistic sculpture, it carries a noteworthy statement. The exhibit houses another well-known piece: Stone Woman

(1938), an oil painting depicting various stones of different sizes and colors oriented to imitate the female physique. The work consists of muted colors, shadowing the piece in a solemn mood. The figure lies on a beach with her legs underwater, sprawling her torso across the desolate background. Her upper body is tilted to the left to reflect feelings of dejection and isolation. She wears Mary Jane shoes even though her immobile legs are underwa

woman in World War II’s male-dominated art world. These sentiments are thematically ingrained in many of her works during this time.

Oppenheim suffered a 20-year creative block caused by her impostor syndrome in the art world. However, the exhibition’s later works exhibit her growth in confidence as an artist. Many of these pieces critique the unfair social constructs restricting women, which

Oppenheim was all too familiar with. One particular piece, Genevieve and Four Echoes (1956), depicts an armless floating nude, repudiating the commonly objectified portrayal of the female nude. Oppenheim continued to reject labels and defy expectations throughout her lifetime, distinguishing herself as an unconventional surrealist. She once explained in an interview, “There is no difference between man and woman: there is only artist or poet. Sex plays no role whatsoever. That is why I refuse to participate in exhibitions of women only.” Her rejection of labels exemplifies her growing assertiveness as she was forced to self-advocate. Though Oppenheim’s eccentric pieces have become famed surrealist works, she only began to gain recognition in the latter half of her life. However, Oppenheim’s idiosyncratic artistic expression remains influential in today’s pop culture. One example of this is Lady Gaga’s iconic meat dress at the 2010 VMAs. The use of a ludicrous material for the dress emphasizes its purpose, much like Oppenheim’s provocative works. Besides themes of biomorphism (resembling nature/living organisms) and phantasmagoria (resembling dream-like images and objects), her art reflects strong feminist ideals, emphasizing that “women are not goddesses, not fairies, not sphinxes. All these are the projections of men.” A trailblazing female artist, Oppenheim made a huge impact in the world of Surrealism with her simplistic yet contemplative masterpieces.

“When You Wake Up, They’ll Be Gone Again”: Boygenius Returns

Record’s lead singles were written by each member independently, weaving distinct narratives into a greater whole. Fans have been waiting to hear how these individual voices will intertwine.

The album’s first single, “$20,” captures the vivacious sensitivity of Julien Baker’s previous projects: Sprained Ankle (2015), Turn Out the Lights (2017), and Little Oblivions (2021), each equally packed with folksy emotional rawness. The song helps Baker push her boundaries through accenting vocals, a trend reminiscent of her musical style; Baker creates music imbued with decadent instrumentation, and her lyrics are often drawn from personal experiences, such as religious trauma, substance abuse, and sexual identity. She overlaps these themes with lyrical descriptions of self-destruction and paradox—a pattern she continues in “$20”: “Pushing the flowers that come up / Into the front of a shotgun / So many hills to die on.” The song alludes to selfharm and the relief of physically releasing anguish, a jarring juxtaposition to the buoyant melody. “$20” serves as the perfect introduction to the project; the listener is bombarded with upbeat riffs that remain unwavering throughout the entire song—a clear departure from boygenius’s debut, in which each track reached a staggering crescendo.

While Baker is the star of “$20,” Bridgers and Dacus bring dimensionality by providing mellowed harmonies to complement the ends of Baker’s verses. As the song progresses, the voices diverge from unison, producing a dynamic echo. The track concludes with Bridgers’s gutwrenching screams, similar to the final notes of “I Know the End,” the

Alpine Anthems

By THE ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT DEPARTMENT

As the final months of bitter cold progress, our fragile mountainous dreams and skiing trips melt before our eyes. Whether you are sledding down slopes or staying warm inside, here are some turbulent tunes that will make you reminisce about the frigid winter.

Track X Black Country, New Road

Experimental rock

Tube Disaster Flux of Pink Indians Punk rock

Poinciana - Live At The Pershing, Chicago, 1958

Ahmad Jamal Trio Post-bop jazz

Angel in the Snow Elliott Smith Alternative rock

Come to Me Bjork

Experimental Pop

closer of Bridgers’s Punisher (2020). The chaotic intensity of “$20” validates any agitation listeners might be feeling, establishing early on that mental health struggles are a recurring theme of the album.

Phoebe Bridgers has rallied a cult following for her “sad girl” indie folk triumphs: Stranger in the Alps (2017) and the Grammy-nominated Punisher (2020). Stranger in the Alps, Bridgers’s critically acclaimed debut album, documents intimacy through elaborate descriptions of mundane memories. Bridgers is known for her angelic delivery of lyrical heaviness, utilizing acoustic guitar and strident piano symphonies on songs like “Motion Sickness” (2017). Despondency is a constant attribute of Bridgers’s vocals, and this is no different in “Emily I’m Sorry,” The Record’s second single. Bridgers’s voice is permeated with guilt and melancholy. However, “Emily I’m Sorry” is nearly too typical of Phoebe Bridgers’s style, and Dacus and Baker are lost in the entrancing fragility of her vocals. Perhaps there is a painful familiarity in being isolated in autonomy; Bridgers feels she cannot break the patterns of her past. Regret and shame are clearly entwined as she begs for forgiveness: “Emily, forgive me, can we / Make it up as we go along? / I’m 27 and I don’t know who I am / But I know what I want.” These lyrics reveal what boygenius is all about: searching for an outlet for authentic expression in a world of uncertainty. Comfort and resolution arrive in the last single, “True Blue.” Bridgers and Baker join Dacus in the chorus, but, besides their background vocals, the composition is unmistakably Dacus’s. The upbeat tempo of the track speaks with unapologetic

adoration for love in all its forms. Dacus sings, “But it feels good to be known so well / I can’t hide from you like I hide from myself / I remember who I am when I’m with you.” While a somber tone prevails in this typical indie track, there is a sense of longing and devotion. Dacus’s undying passion is a common thread throughout her discography. Her latest album, Home Video (2021), speaks to the tender heartbreaks of Dacus’s teenage years and simultaneously demonstrates her comprehensive range of musical styles and abilities. Dacus transitions from fastmoving songs about irreplaceable friends to stripped-down confessions of wanting to kill her friend’s manipulative father. Dacus displays undeniable versatility and potential that will hopefully be showcased throughout The Record The Record is a melodic collision of three highly skilled artists. While the collaboration offered a promising opportunity to synergize and combine the trio’s talents, the album is seemingly presented as a collection of “greatest hits” from each artist. Nonetheless, the band has exhibited notable growth from their last project in 2018. The past five years have been an intense period of transformation for many, and the women of boygenius are no exception. While The Record brought much hope for more cohesion, listeners will still find the artists as independent operators on the tracks. If collaboration was what this effort sought, the singles of The Record do not achieve that aspiration. How do you work collectively after working for so long in the isolation of quarantine? Questions can be raised about whether harmonious artistry is still possible after the pandemic.

Landslide Fleetwood Mac Folk

The World Is Yours Nas Hip-hop

Ceremony New Order New wave

That’s The Way Love Is Dwight Sykes R&B

Storm Godspeed You! Black Emperor Post rock

Heart to Heart Mac DeMarco Soft rock

Jason Lei / The Spectator

Fascism, Fantasy, and a Puppet on a String: Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio Film

By GALEN JACK and SOPHIA HE

Adapting a beloved children’s story with an updated focus on World War I and fascist Italy is a risky endeavor, but the gamble pays off with Guillermo del Toro at the helm. Del Toro is a Mexican filmmaker known for incorporating political and religious themes in his fantasy and horror films. He began his career as a makeup artist but began to direct his own films after 10 years of designing special effects makeup. He drew upon his training to infuse his films with a signature aesthetic, often featuring clockwork imagery and depictions of the underworld. His genre-spanning filmography is thematically united, with many of his films exploring fascism through horror tropes and grotesque imagery. These themes recur throughout Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio, his latest animated film.

In the film, Geppetto, an Italian woodcarver, carves Pinocchio, a magical wooden child, to replace his late son, Carlo, who died in an Austro-Hungarian airstrike. The immortal boy becomes the town’s outcast and is pressured to join the circus by the mysterious Count Volpe, whose fight with Geppetto leads to Pinocchio’s accidental death. Pinocchio embarks on an ominous journey, traveling in and out of the underworld, fighting in the Italian military at the re-

quest of a Podesta (head of the fascist municipal government), and getting swallowed by a whale with his father, for whom Pinocchio sacrifices his life.

The film’s gloomy tone is set by the opening shot, which depicts Geppetto brushing snow

off Carlo’s grave as the narrator mentions World War I. This dark tone is enhanced in a flashback to when Carlo rushes back to his father to point out the warplanes flying overhead, disrupting their otherwise peaceful mountain view. After the villagers first encounter Pinocchio, the Podesta visits Gepetto to inform

him that Pinocchio must attend school to become more like his late son, a model fascist youth. This scene introduces one of the central themes of the film—the contrast between Pinocchio’s unquenchable curiosity and others’ restrictive aspirations for him. All Pinocchio wants to do is sing and dance, but his father wants him to be well-behaved and respectful like Carlo, whom Gepetto holds in the highest regard. Gepetto is not the only adult who wishes for Pinocchio to act differently—Count Volpe wants him to be a circus star and the Podesta wants him to be a

fearless soldier. Del Toro uses the unique aesthetic of stop-motion animation to convey these darker themes while maintaining Pinocchio’s joyful innocence. The film was made using puppets that were animated through a combination of live action and stop-motion animation. This gives the human characters an unsettling gait and a nefarious air. The humans in the film have crooked noses, hunched bodies, and discolored faces. On the other hand, the Pinocchio puppet ironically moves without the rigidity of the other characters. Pinocchio, voiced by Gregory Mann, has a bright, clear voice, while many of the humans have husky, intimidating voices. The contrast between Pinocchio and the rest of the cast highlights the conflict between Pinocchio’s playful personality and the responsibilities adults project onto him.

The songs Pinocchio sings throughout the film reinforce these themes. When Pinocchio decides to leave Gepetto to work in the circus, he sings a song called “Ciao Papa.” It begins with Pinocchio singing in a soft, melancholic voice, but as he continues to sing, he becomes increasingly upbeat. This moment encapsulates the difference between Pinocchio’s joyous heart and the worldly struggles with which he is forced to grapple. Though he is momentarily

saddened, he quickly looks on the bright side and does all he can to find hope. This attitude wins out in all of Pinocchio’s songs; whether he is praising the Italian fascists or insulting Benito Mussolini to his face, he cannot help but sing in a cheery tone.

Most adaptations of La Storia di un Burattino/The Story of a Marionette focus on Pinocchio’s moral journey, criticizing children’s delinquent tendencies. In contrast, del Toro’s Pinocchio focuses on the adults’ issues and highlights Pinocchio’s boyish charm. This difference gives the film a unique tone, reflected through its horror-inspired visuals and pacing, which amplify the thematic solemnity. Unfortunately, this uniqueness is not reflected in the plot, which includes every element of the classic Pinocchio tale, causing the film to feel long-winded at times. Adapting original plotlines to better suit his darker version of Pinocchio gives del Toro room to focus on character development. However, his borrowing from the classic tale undermines the solemnity he is striving to convey through the movie’s visuals and storytelling. Though hampered by the whimsical adventures of the original story, del Toro’s Pinocchio adapts the themes of the original Pinocchio to convey the difficulties of coming of age amidst the horrors of fascism and commercial greed.

The Eveillards’ Gift of Simplicity Art

By EMILE LEE-SUK

A quaint room on the fourth floor of the Breuer Building contains the Frick Collection’s newest exhibit, The Eveillard Gift. Its collection of 15th- to 20th-century European drawings was gifted by two of the museum’s longtime donors, Elizabeth “Betty” and Jean-Marie Eveillard. The exhibit features pastels, prints, oil sketches, and drawings, contrasting with the museum’s more traditional works; though they were sold as completed pieces, these drawings’ sketch-like style was considered “unfinished” for their time.

The Eveillard Gift is not tied to one specific artist. The exhibit features iconic Frick staples like Degas and Fragonard as well as underrepresented artists like Gustave Caillebotte. These pieces, which span numerous eras of European history, are tied together by their medium: sketches. One notable example is Fragonard’s Young Woman (1770-1773), a light sketch of a standing woman wearing a dress with intricate, textured shading. Fragonard’s thoughtful strokes on the woman’s clothing create details that capture the gaze of passersby. To contrast, Jean Baptiste Greuze’s Head of a Boy (1777) presents a magnified portrait with bold red pencil strokes. The work depicts a solemn young boy watching his older brother go off to war. Though the two pieces are undeniably different, they are united by the fact that both are rough sketches. The exhibit’s works are largely smallscale sketches—pencil and pastels on canvas. Displayed with no

chronology, The Eveillard Gift is arranged so that museum-goers can tour the diverse exhibit at their own pace, traveling from Italy to Spain to the Netherlands and onward.

On the left wall of the museum’s exhibit is Giandomenico Tiepolo’s Christ and the Centurion of Capernaum (1786-1790), an untraditional representation of a Christian scene: a man pleading with Christ to cure his sick servant. Its use of pen and brown ink covers

sus, the begging man, and the soldiers in the background—lack detail, defined only by the scene’s dramatic lighting, but Tiepolo still manages to form a distinct image. This piece captures the exhibit’s general trend: valuing simplistic techniques over traditionalism to create powerful art. Surrounded by sketches hangs a rare sight for the exhibit: a traditional painting. The dramatic presentation of Maurice Quentin de La Tour’s Anne Marguerite Perrinet

trayal of the subject. While other works in the exhibit, like Guido Reni’s Head of a Woman (1620s1630s), objectify female subjects, idealizing their figures in the male gaze and favoring superficiality over depth, La Tour challenges these depictions by showing a woman surrounded by books and lost in thought. The woman is intentionally portrayed as an ambitious intellectual, contradicting the era’s societal expectation for women to solely occupy the

Hanging by the exhibit’s entrance is A Man with an Umbrella Stepping onto a Sidewalk (1876-1877) by Gustave Caillebotte. Its subject matter is simple: a side profile of a man in a dark coat with a bowler hat, walking down a wet street while holding a light gray umbrella. It is merely a pencil sketch, and it is less complex than some of the room’s other sketches. There is minimal shading and blending, especially considering the subject is clothed in dark gray, from head to toe. Though the man’s features are imperceptible in his darkened face, his shadow has the air of a gruff, sad man. This piece was intended to be a preparation model for Caillebotte’s more famous work, currently held by the Art Institute of Chicago—Paris Street; Rainy Weather (1877)—in which the man’s features become more defined, revealing that he is smoking a cigarette. However, the sketch’s simplicity makes it special. Its roughness makes it look as though it could be an illustration for a magazine cartoon, giving it a unique character that is arguably lost in the final painting.

the piece in a yellow tone, allowing Tiepolo to harness light and shadow in their totality. The drawing is monochromatic, with dark yellows creating shadows and bright, buttery yellows serving as highlights. All of its figures—Je-

de Longuefin Madame Rouille (1738) is designed to grab viewers’ attention. It is a realistic painting of a woman in a bright red coat, with shining white highlights that make the canvas appear illuminated. Its most striking feature is its por-

domestic sphere. While the painting is not completely devoid of the male gaze, La Tour’s work does not try to comply with 18thcentury societal norms, instead providing a raw portrait of a real woman.

Overall, The Eveillard Gift exhibit is about appreciating nuance. Its pieces are intentionally geared away from polished masterpieces, instead using a simple medium to focus all attention on the subject matter. The exhibit reinforces the importance of foundational art and finding meaning in casual sketching; it recognizes an artist’s process as a masterpiece within itself. The Eveillard Gift creates a powerful new perspective on how art can be defined by challenging long-standing artistic traditions and finding beauty in simplicity.

Jaden Bae / The Spectator

Stacey Chen / The Spectator

Beauty and Fascism: The Conformist Returns in a Stunning 4K Restoration Film

By KONSTANTINA TSAHALIS and ALEXANDER HINCHLIFFE

Widely considered to be one of the most beautiful films ever created, Bernardo Bertolucci’s 1970 adaptation of the Alberto Moravia novel The Conformist (1951) has been re-released in 4K restoration. Over 50 years after its original release, Bertolucci’s original film was processed by the Italian film company Minerva Pictures to create a stunning new version of the picture with additional English subtitles, enhanced color grading of Vittorio Storaro’s timeless cinematography, and remastered recordings of the original score by Georges Delerue. The remaster is set to tour cinemas across the country this spring, starting in the New York City Film Forum theater.

The Conformist serves as a time capsule of 1930s fascist Italy. The protagonist, Marcello Clerici (Jean-Louis Trintignant), is a member of the secret police who yearns for a regular life. Marcello attempts to move toward normalcy by marrying his fiancée, Giulia (Stefania Sandrelli), but when he is assigned a mission to assassinate his former professor (Enzo Tarascio), he has to confront the morality of his occupation. On the mission in Paris, Marcello falls in love with the professor’s wife, Anna (Dominique Sanda), an anti-fascist aware of Marcello’s purpose but forward in her pursual of both him and Giulia. Marcello’s ineptitude leads to his capture by the secret police in Paris, and he is forced to watch as the professor and Anna are brutally murdered. Years later, Marcello’s life collapses with the fascist government and he finds himself alone once more.

As the title suggests, conformity is a central theme in this socio-political noir. In a world where deviance is deadly, Marcello’s character is “The Conformist.”

His seemingly neutral decisions in the face of injustice demonstrate the film’s claim that conformity is dangerous, not because of the actions taken, but because of those not taken. For Marcello, fascism functions as a convenient path to conformity, which shields him from a childhood fear of rejection. Marcello rides the conformist wave so closely that other fascists comment on his strict adherence to principle, including his repressed sexuality. Marcello has a bourgeois wife but is generally uninterested in being intimate with her; he has closed off his sexuality and justifies it with his

throughout the movie, which becomes undeniable during the climactic dance scene between the two of them. Their dance is complex yet nonchalant, tracked by impeccable camera movements that capture the fluidity of their routine. The scene simultaneously conveys their awareness that they are breaking social boundaries— the heterosexual couples around them are shocked—as well as their indifference to restrictive norms. In a heteronormative society, queerness is inherently anticonformist, and thus conflicts with the strict uniformity of fascism.

position unite the thematic components, creating a distinction between the fascist state and the vibrant life of the non-conformist. The film opens with a shot of empty rooms in bland whites, blues, and grays: the color palette one might find in a corporate office building. When Marcello visits the professor in Paris, his world suddenly becomes vivid. Warm tones of oranges, yellows, and browns infuse rooms packed with patterned fabrics, charming furniture, and eclectic trinkets. But it is the composition of each shot that brings these elements to life. In the dictatorship’s govern-

are frequently used to create the chiaroscuro effects characteristic of neo-noir films, shrouding fascism in darkness and intellectualism in glowy enlightenment. The visual distinction between the two ideologies enhances the film’s anti-conformist message.

Bertolucci and Storaro’s artful direction in The Conformist set the standards for modern cinematography. Many directors have credited Bertolucci as an influence in their work; for example, Francis Ford Coppola cites Bertolucci as a major inspiration for the aesthetic composition and camera techniques in his movies. The Conformist also remains influential as a triumph of the neo-noir genre. Though films in the subcategory do not necessarily use the classic grayscale color scheme, neo-noir movies explore similar themes of alienation and morality, often using dark lighting and precise tracking shots to create a brooding mood. While The Conformist was not the first of its kind, it does serve as a true microcosm of the genre through its themes and direction alike. The way Bertolucci paints the government as an oppressive force has become a common trope in neo-noir films like Blade Runner (1982) and Chinatown (1974).

following of fascist ideology. To contrast with his character, the viewers are introduced to Mussolini, the hypocritical epitome of fascism, whose desk is adorned by a prostitute.

As a foil to Marcello, Anna is an independent woman who is uninhibited in her sexuality. In addition to being a former prostitute, she flirts with Giulia

The movie’s message would not be as impactful without Storaro’s visuals. An authentic wardrobe from the era was used in filming, immersing the viewer in the time period through jazzy gowns and eye-catching accessories, most notably a white fox fur boa complete with two heads, tails, and corresponding sets of legs. Color, set design, and com-

ment building, Marcello looks insignificant through the emphasis on fascist architecture’s minimalistic interior design. However, in the professor’s home, each shot is framed around the characters, not the negative space between them, making the anti-fascists seem more inviting. Light and shadow play an important role in this distinction as well. Heavy shadows

The Last Wish: A Beloved Daredevil’s Redemption Film

By VITA KIRSCHTEIN

After 11 years away from the big screen, the adventureloving Puss in Boots (voiced by Antonio Banderas) returns to the Shrek Cinematic Universe in Puss In Boots: The Last Wish. This time, Puss’s reckless thrill-seeking has sent him on a quest for the only thing that can save his life: the magical Wishing Star.

After losing all but one of his nine lives due to his daredevil antics, Puss decides to abandon his life of adventure, escaping to the home of Mama Luna, a crazy cat lady. It is there that he meets a passionate yet naive dog, Perrito (voice by Harvey Guillen), and reunites with a lover from a past life, Kitty Softpaws (voiced by Salma Hayek). After realizing that the Big Bad Wolf (voiced by Wagner Mou-

ra) is after him, Puss leads the unlikely team on a journey to seize the magical Wishing Star, battling fairytale villains and undertaking the trials of the deadly Dark Forest on the way.

The cast of The Last Wish is star-studded, featuring actors like John Mulaney and Florence Pugh, who both voice supporting characters. Despite the growing trend of empty celebrity casts used only for name recognition (looking at you, The Super Mario Bros. Movie), The Last Wish perfectly matches each cast member’s voice to their character’s, effectively complementing their on-screen animated counterparts. Take Mulaney, for example, who voices the film’s primary antagonist, the greedy Jack Horner. Using his signature over-dramatic tone, Mulaney

imbues Jack with a childlike immaturity consistent with the goofy yet evil man seen on screen. The best example of thoughtful casting in the film is Banderas as Puss. Banderas brings an air of authenticity to Puss, often breaking out into smooth and rapidly spoken Spanish that establishes Puss’s intriguing persona. Additionally, Banderas’s singing should not go unnoticed; the musical aspects of the film truly flourish from the strength of the leading man.

The most striking aspect of the film lies in its visuals and bold design choices. There is a notable difference in art style between The Last Wish and other films under the Shrek banner. The animation places less emphasis on realism, instead opting to embrace a cute and whimsical minimalistic style with

bright colors. It can seem a little disjointed at times, but usually serves a purpose. The Big Bad Wolf, for example, has a jagged appearance that gives him a threatening otherworldliness, making him truly stick out from the colorful scenery. This style, along with the fast-paced action, eclectic character lineup, and mystical scenery has led many to compare the movie to the critically acclaimed Into the Spider-Verse (2018). The most successful aspects of that film are channeled in The Last Wish, especially in regards to character backstory. Characters who originate from fairy tales like Jack Horner and Goldilocks (Florence Pugh) incorporate their tales in unique ways, with Jack’s nursery rhyme prompting him to turn to villainy, and Goldilocks and her three bears using extreme, bounty-

An indictment of fascism and the suffocating nature of conformity, Bertolucci’s work endures today as a benchmark in film history. Despite having a budget of only $750,000, the film is wonderfully directed with a gorgeous and symbolic color scheme and engaging practical effects. Moravia’s writing is transcendent, but Storaro’s cinematography is the true heart of the film. In the new 4K restoration, Bertolucci’s masterpiece is richer in definition than ever before; every frame is enriched by the plot, and the visual storytelling crafts an intricate narrative that thoroughly lives up to its title as the most beautiful film in history.

hunting methods to search for their “just right” ending. Despite being a children’s movie, The Last Wish manages to appeal to all audiences, not only through its impactful visuals, but also through its easily accessible humor: Romantic scenes between Puss and Kitty are followed by reminders of Perrito’s oblivious nature, violent scenes between The Wolf and Puss have twinges of physical comedy by way of Puss’s clumsiness, and Kitty’s sarcastic remarks are frequent and witty. This comedic appeal, along with the incredible voice acting and colorful world-building, makes the movie a true animated success. Fans of the Shrek Universe, cat lovers, and suckers for a happy ending will definitely enjoy Puss and his gang’s spectacle in The Last Wish

Faith Choi/ The Spectator

Love Letter to a Very _____________ Someone

Dear Stuyvesant students,

Adjective

Do you have someone you wish to be your significant other? Does sharing your emotions leave you shaking in your boots? Confess your feelings on this Valentines Day with a quick and easy fill-in-the-blank love letter! You don’t even have to read it! I’m sure nothing will go wrong

Love, The Spectator

Dearest ________,

I’m afraid I cannot conceal this confession any longer. My love for you is like the ___________ in the ___________. It’s more powerful than the strongest ___________ in the world. Ever since I first saw you in ___________, I have been unable to ___________ without thinking of you. Your _____________ are in my dreams, your image ___________ my every being. Every time I see you, my heart ___________. Even when you aren’t trying, you make me so ___________. I ___________ you. Please, I beg of you, come___________ with me this Valentine’s Day. When I see you in ___________, please respond to this letter by ___________ it in ___________ ___________. I promise ___________ will not care. In fact, ___________ told me to ___________ to you. ___________ is our biggest fan!

Love, Your secret admirer, ___________

Crossword

Kyle H. Chan wishes you all a happy Valentine’s Day! As you can tell by his crossword, he is indeed very single. But perhaps you can change that…

ACROSS

1. “Have you _ac_e_ for the MUN conference yet?”

4. Lou Gehrig’s disease, shortly

7. Best female Spec Humor editor

9. Flow’s inventory: ___ws__cks

11. 11PM, for original 7-Elevens

13. Quiche veggie

15. If you’re solving this puzzle, you probably know them

16. Congress is in ___sion!

18. Dissent

19. Standards

21. Someone you want on February

14th

23. Hummus and guac brand

24. Obsessed anime watchers

26. Where you can kill a titan in AOT

28. Partner of Blanc

29. Sure!

30 Afterschool snack staple at Stuy

32. Us, in Mexico

34. ___-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania (Releasing February 17th!)

35. Connect the _o__ (children’s game)

37. See 47-Down

39. Money-filled Tank?

41. Sunny side or scrambled food

43. Former Speaker of the House Pelosi 45. 73 and 125, but not 2 46. Cutting tool 48. Kept on course 50. Large body of water 52. __-__w_, relatives by marriage 53. “To put it _______” (honestly) 55.

1. Reproduce

DOWN

2. What it might say on a 11-Down and 14-Down

3. 601, to Caesar

4. Psuedonym

5. Dragon’s Eye fruit, in Chinese

6. Port’s partner, on the right of a ship

7. Rudely pushed through

8. Aziz ___ari, Tom from Parks and Rec

9. What Google Maps uses to find your location

10. Bryant Park has a nice one

11. Valentine’s day treat with 14-Down

12. Hair styler

13. Police sound

14. This puzzle’s shape

17. You might catch StuyPhil playing some of Beethoven’s

18. I’m in the humor one int eh Spec

20. The beach is perfect for _un_at_ing!

22. This puzzle’s theme day

25. Covert part of the British army

27. Talent show in June! (come watch!!)

31. Manuel Miranda of Hamilton

33. New Balance and Sketchers

36. Ban Ki-moon and António Guterres of the UN

38. You might want to bring this type of candle on a romantic date night

40. +

42. Subject of Boyle’s Law

44. Screams

47. With 37-Across, stuyspec.com and stuy.edu

49. Beam of sun

51. Don’t be fooled by those who tell you to press this key and F4

54. https://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ

Into the Multiverse: Stuyvesant’s Secret Wormhole

By KAVYA GREEN and SELINA LIN

As the Swim Gym teachers yelled at me to stop drowning, I decided to actually try for once and began to thrash my legs around in the water. That’s how you swim, right? Swim Gym is usually the time when I zone out and contemplate life.

I think I might’ve kicked my feet a little too hard, because the edge of the pool quickly came into sight. But instead of slamming my skull into the smooth tile, my head made contact with a hardwood table.

“Ow!” I cried as I fell back onto the floor. I glanced behind me, expecting the judging eyes of my grouchy swim teacher. Instead, I saw what looked like a disk of pepperoni circling around the ceiling. That’s when a sudden chill hit me and I realized that I wasn’t in Stuyvesant anymore.

However, that joyful realization was quickly interrupted by a confused cough. I looked up to see four pairs of wide, human eyes staring at me. There was also a rat at the table, but I’m used to that by now—subway rats can be ruthless.

I could see their eyes scan my body, judging the cheap swimsuit I

bought last summer at Walmart. I quickly got up. “Why are you looking at me like that! There’s literally a rat sitting right next to you!” The rat gave out an offended squeak. “Sorry,” I said instinctively, forgetting that I was talking to a rat.

“Stuyvesant students are weird…” one of the kids at the table said. I couldn’t help but notice his hoodie emblazoned with the words “Brooklyn Technical High School.” I guess there were two rats.

“Shut up, Timmy,” a girl snapped, “that right there is a Wormhole.” She pointed at the pepperoni. “The multiverse is real!”

I shrugged. I never doubted Marvel. “So we’re all from different universes?”

“Yeah. And we’re all Stuy kids. Except Timmy, obviously.” We all glared at him. He covered his hoodie defensively.

“So, what are your universes like?” I asked, desperately trying not to be awkward. I took the last empty seat at the table, my wet swimsuit squishing against the back of the chair. Everyone was silent.

“I’ll go first, I guess,” I muttered. “In my universe, Stuyvesant is full of nerds.” A murmur of assent swept through the room.

“I guess that’s a constant…

we also have a lot of escalators! Whether they’re working or not is a different matter, though.”

“You have to pay to use them, right?” a girl interrupted. I gave her a funny look.

“What do you mean? You have to pay to use the escalators?” I asked, thinking of my monthly LIRR ticket budgets.

“Like, you don’t have to pay $8 for your monthly escalator pass?”

“$8? That’s so random. Wait, isn’t that how much you have to

continued on page 22

These articles are works of fiction. All quotes are libel and slander.

The Definitive Guide to Deciphering Your Valentine’s Day Notes

By DANIELLA SOLOMON

There are many things you might look forward to on February 14— perhaps you’ll be enjoying a candlelit dinner, hidden in the bathroom with your imaginary lover (why can’t your parents understand?), or, for those of us who have long since given up on such travails, eating Nutella on the couch while living vicariously through Taylor Swift songs. Maybe you’re excited to see the notes attached to the flowers and chocolates you’ll be receiving this year, but you’re not sure what you’ll do when you get them, if you get any at all. Regardless, how do you decipher the hidden messages on said notes and find out what your valentines are really thinking? Well, you’re in luck, because this article is the Rosetta Stone to all your valentines!

Disclaimer: The Spectator is not responsible for any potential embarrassment that may result from these interpretations. We do not recommend that you act upon the perceived intentions of your letters if you don’t want to resort to hiding in the Hudson staircase for the rest of your Stuyvesant career. Just don’t blame me if it goes wrong, okay? My

advice is flawless; it’s you who’s the problem.

The Blank Note Attached to a Flower

This one is probably from your friend who doesn’t want to hear about how everyone’s been rejecting you lately. They were hoping you’d assume that it’s from a *secret admirer*, but even you are too smart to believe that. But hey, maybe you just leave them speechless!

The Passionate Love Letter

This type of letter is lit tered with phrases such as “You bring me more plea sure than an SAS triangle with the congruent sides already la beled,” or “I could just be slipping on the coffee spills by the Sopho more Bar, but I think I’m falling for you!” Unfortunately for your ego, there is no way this letter is real. How do I know? Well, this person

clearly doesn’t know what they’re talking about, because no Stuyvesant teacher has given a three-step proof since the 1960s when they conducted a clinical trial of Brooklyn Tech’s teaching methods on Stuyvesant students; the experiment was deemed too inhumane to repeat. Also, you’re ugly.

The Apology Note

This one is from that one friend who’s basically happily married I mean they’ve dating someone for more than a week— crazy, I know!) and feels sorry for PDA-ing around you, the pathetic third wheel. The note consists of a brief apology for those excruciating two minutes you spent standing below the two of them on the escala-

tor as they passionately exchanged carbon dioxide and saliva. This apology is generally followed by an accusatory “but that doesn’t mean you can sneak MiraLAX into his lunch so that he spends seventh period shaking the bathroom walls with the undiluted power of his defecation!”

Oopsies!

The Threatening Note

This note generally comes to people who have “forgotten” their Met project for the past three weeks. It may be the most clever note of them all, as every teacher knows that you are romantically deprived enough to open anything you get on Valentine’s Day. However, just to be sure, teachers like to add extra traps to lure you in, such as a fake phone number scrawled at the top of the note (1-800-TURNITIN). The letter soon takes a turn for the worse as your teacher describes the numerous ways they will torture you into handing in the project. Common threats include making eye contact with you for 30 seconds straight, making you eat the cafeteria french fries, and forcing you to spend an hour watching love stories unfold in the Hudson staircase.

A final word of warning to you

Rebounding from Rejection

By KAREN CHEN and RYAN PENG

Bob knew it was a mistake but did it anyway—he confessed to his crush who he had met only three days earlier in AP Environmental Science. After getting thoroughly and completely friend-zoned (if a reply of “Why is a freshman trying to slide into my DMs” counts as friend-zoning), he is at a loss. Not even his usual routine of infiltrating the Senior Bar and seriously ticking off the couples there can cheer him up.

Bob stays depressed for all of five minutes before beginning to plot ways to win his crush over. The first thing that comes to mind is to simply reject the rejection! Who is she to rebuff my affections?? Absolutely not, not as long as I have Genshin Impact installed on my Potato Computer X1, Bob thinks as he comes up with a plan. He will stand threateningly outside her classrooms and lay down cracked twoby-four (the right size is essential for inflicting maximum damage) Legos in the hallway for her to step on until she accepts his feelings. He pulls out the Lego set that he has carried in his backpack since kindergarten and sprinkles the Legos all around the door of his crush’s physics classroom. Unfortunately, Bob realizes after she walks out and steps on the Legos that the attack only works if

the target is not wearing shoes. Horribly embarrassed by this blunder, he sprints off to the 7-5 escalator but accidentally steps on one of his own Legos, which pierces through his shoe, causing him to start wailing like a fire alarm.

When Bob walks out of school at the end of the day, the crippling depression of rejection strikes him with full force, and he collapses on the bridge, crying and flopping around like a little goldfish that just got disowned and thrown away. As his tear ducts begin to give up on him, Bob gets up… and sees someone wearing SciOly merch. I couldn’t win her over, but I can still show off my one million IQ and 999 GPA by joining lots of clubs and winning awards! Everyone will love me if I’m surrounded by hundreds of trophies! he thinks as the second stage of coping, distraction by exhaustion, comes into play.

Twenty-six club acceptances later, Bob has his plan in full steam as he has moved his sleep time from 9:00 p.m. to 4:00 a.m. I’m gonna win so many awards that they’ll have to build the 11th floor just to house all of them! he thinks happily before returning to his geometry homework.

A week later, Bob is found unconscious near the Stuyvesant entrance, reportedly having gotten “negative hours of sleep.” After being released from the hospital (that’ll be $10 thousand, thank you

very much), his parents make him drop all his clubs, much to his grief. Despite having nothing to do after school, Bob continues to maintain his 4:00 a.m. bedtime—instead of spending the time on homework, he spends hours on end stalking his crush’s Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok pages.

A few days later, while scrolling through his crush’s pictures during one of his free periods, Bob is reminded of the (now-dead) Stuy Affirmations Instagram account. “Stuy Affirmations, Stuy Affirmations, it sounds like…self-affirmation!” he exclaims to no one as he walks down the empty Hudson stairs on the way to lunch. As he enters the cafeteria, he announces, with no lack of overconfidence, “Who needs a girlfriend when I am already the BEST?!” (Life Lesson of the Day: Don’t be like Bob, and don’t be overly egotistical, or you’ll end up with no pulls.) Some students cast him side glances while another group of students can be heard whispering, “No wonder she rejected him. He is so full of himself.”

Bob’s self-pride does not last for long as eventually he realizes that he is still madly in love with and yearns for her. As Bob heads to his least favorite class, Global History 9, he sees his crush… WALKING WITH ANOTHER MAN. Immediately, Bob is swallowed by jealousy, but

as he tries to approach the couple, he is met with a flood of students running toward him like a stampede. Bob realizes that the only way to change his crush’s mind is by making her fall in love with him. After Bob gets home from school, he goes on the BEST web search engine, Bing, to look for answers on “How to make a girl fall in love with you.” The first answer that appears is “Buy them chocolate.” It was then that Bob remembered the baskets of brownies and cookies he stole from bake sales since elementary school. He pulls them out from under his bed and goes to sleep, dreaming about kissing his crush.

BREAKING NEWS: Stuyvesant student confesses to their crush using ChatGPT and gets rejected

Cupid explains to confused fans that he wasn’t run over by a snowplow… That was the other bow and arrow guy.

Bullseye targets fall in love after Cupid practices at local archery range.

Students found in janitor’s closet trying to “hibernate through Valentine’s Day.”

For the upcoming Valentine’s Day celebrations, Principal Yu has commissioned a BTS wall to be displayed at the Senior Bar.

all: please do not overinterpret your letters—a comma is just a comma. It does not mean that your love interest is pausing briefly before they profess their undying love for you. Sorry. However, feel free to invent and implement your own heart-stopping comma symbolism in your articles. Just do not expect me to interpret those for you, as I have no idea what is going on in your twisted, hopeless romantic minds. And with that, happy Valentine’s Day!

By KAVYA GREEN

Valentine’s Day is great. Well, not for you. Stop denying it. I mean… you’re single. But it’s okay! It’s not your fault. There are tons of reasons why you’re single! I mean, you have super hard classes and a ton of homework! You have a college resume to beef up! Besides, if you tell your parents that you have a significant other, they might die from intense rage! You have their safety to think

about—and your own!

Wait… but that girl in your science class has a boyfriend. She takes the hardest AP classes, participates in the most extracurriculars, and even has a healthy relationship with her parents. How is this possible, you ask? That is something we’ll never know. And just like that, all of your excuses are gone. Stop. Stop crying right now. Stop pining for someone who doesn’t exist. Turn off that cringey rom-com and dump out

that pint of Rocky Road. Put on something nice and style your hair. You’re going on a date. More specifically, you’re going on your friend’s date. That’s right: you’re going to be a third wheel. Since you can’t experience the joys of dating, you will kill (and I mean brutally murder) the joy of everyone else.

If you actually have any, scrounge up a victim—I mean, friend—to third-wheel. Try to pick someone with a guilty conscience so you can manipulate

The next day, he races to his AP Environmental Science class and stands on tiptoe (because he’s short) as he hands the baskets to his crush. After taking one glance into the basket, Bob’s crush looks at him in confusion and disappointment. However, Bob is only focusing on the baskets. What’s the worst that could happen? Bob thinks, but not a moment later, his crush sighs and says, “I’m allergic to chocolate.” SHE’S ALLERGIC

the junior in his AP Environmental class. He realizes that there is probably no point in doing so, but he has no other alternative than to act like it never happened and continue using his poor seduction skills. In weak attempts to get her to laugh, he makes jokes that even Spec Humor would look down on. He even tries to get her as a partner in group projects and waits for her outside her other classes in classic stalker fashion. Every week, he buys her another basket of super expensive candy (after several chocolatey disasters in the first few weeks, he now knows to read the labels carefully; finally, his health class has a real world application!), because if chocolate won’t work, the second best option is for Bob to give his crush no less than 10 cavities from candy.

Despite his poor technique, mediocre execution, and abysmal puns, Bob begins, little by little, to wiggle his way into her heart. She begins to chuckle at his jokes despite facepalming inside at how trash they are and slowly comes to enjoy his presence.

TO WHAT!? HUH???

Bob, feeling humiliated, runs out of the room with the baskets and spends the rest of the period crying in the boys’ bathroom.

Having completely run out of ideas, Bob now decides to return to his usual ways of trying to seduce

How to Murder Young Love

their emotions easily and get in on their date. “Please, Rebecca! I’m so lonely!” “Jordan, you spend too much time with them… I’m starting to feel neglected…” “You always do this! Does our friendship mean nothing?” If necessary, chop some onions beforehand too, because you really have to sell this.

Once you have landed the coveted role of the third wheel, you will need to prepare yourself. In order to fully ruin this date, follow this guide on how to

When it comes time for the Indicator Flower Sale distribution, Bob opens his card to find that, at long last, the feeling is reciprocated. <3

(Please note that The Spectator does not condone freshman-junior relationships in any way, shape, or form. Use common sense, people!)

be an effective third wheel:

1. Sit in the middle

As you and the other wheels roll into the place where the date will be held, you must ensure that they do not sit next to each other, or even across from each other. This is an essential move in messing up any romantic advances. This means you won’t have to sit through any cuddling

continued on page 23

Celeste Hoo / The Spectator

Into the Multiverse: Stuyvesant’s Secret Wormhole

continued from page 20

pay for Twitter Blue? Did Elon Musk buy Stuyvesant’s escalators, or something?” I asked jokingly.

“The entire New York City Department of Education, actually. That didn’t happen to you guys, I suppose,” the girl whispered, the trauma evident in her eyes.

“Uh, yeah. Last time I checked, Elon Musk almost went bankrupt buying Twitter. How did he even buy the DOE?”

“Duh, he built that resort on the moon! Even Mark Zuckerberg went! Anyway, as soon as he bought the DOE, he tried to rename Stuyvesant X Æ A-12 because he couldn’t legally name his child that. Thankfully, Principal Yu did not let that happen; instead, we named it Muskvesant.”

“But you still call it Stuy?”

“Yeah, the change didn’t really

go over well. I was actually in a rebellion meeting when I got sucked into this wormhole. We were discussing the disbandment of the Spectator Humor Department. Funnily enough, that’s Musk’s only popular policy. According to him, comedy is now illegal. How ironic.”

A deathly pale boy emerged from the shadowy corner of the table. “Humor?” he asked, his voice small and meek. “What is that?”

A chill went down my spine. Something was seriously wrong with this kid. “Does it have anything to do with my nightly 100-minute Animal Farm reading assignment?”

“Wait, 100 minutes? Doesn’t that exceed the homework policy?” I asked.

“Homework…policy? I’ve never heard of such a thing,” he said grimly, his black eyes staring deep into my soul. “We get at least five hours of homework a night. And that’s if you’re lucky.” The rest of us exchanged worried glances.

I saw his hands twitch out of the corner of my eye. “Heh, well at least I’m a freshman, so it’s not that bad for me.”

His face contorted into a grimace as I revealed my true identity.

“A freshman? You filthy creatures have rights?” I couldn’t help but back away from the table. I stared at him in shock.

“What do you mean?”

“At MY Stuyvesant, freshmen are nothing but servants to the esteemed upperclassmen.”

“Aw, but freshmen are just little minnows in the large ocean of high school!” the kid sitting across from me exclaimed.

We all turned to her. “What, do you guys dislike minnows or something? That’s weird, because they’re all around school.” Our stares turned into confused looks. “The Hudson is full of them, guys—the ones in the Hudson actually have three heads.”

By now the room was silent

except for the snores of the pale, lifeless boy. “Are you saying that Stuyvesant is under the Hudson in your universe?” I asked slowly, trying not to gag at the thought of the putrid murky brown water as I passed the riverfront each day.

“Wait, you guys go to high school on land?” she asked, her eyes widening. “That explains so much.” She glanced at the oblivious rodent that had begun to eat the hair of the snoring freshman-hater.

“I’m sorry, but how do you even survive under the Hudson?” Timmy asked, daring to speak once more.

“Oh, well, one in three students develop genetic mutations, and by sophomore year at least half the grade has lost their sense of smell,” she sighed, touching her nose. “This is what I sacrifice for a quality public education in New York City.”

“Could’ve just gone to Brooklyn Tech…” Timmy mumbled. A

AI-dicted to You

By MIKAYLA LIN

It’s finally that time of year again—chocolate wrappers and rose petals littered everywhere, couples making out through their masks (who says love can’t survive a pandemic?) and horrified freshmen running out of the Hudson staircase. Yup, Valentine’s Day.

Now, you might be saying, “This isn’t so bad. I’ve survived this long on nothing but Wattpad and an intense crush on Skye from Paw Patrol! My friends and I can laugh at all those lovesick couples while secretly reveling in the knowledge that they are all going to break up in three weeks and spend the rest of the year regretting their life choices!” But this year is different. Look around you… those two who spent all of last year bickering? They’re a couple now. And, oh my god, she is literally sitting on his lap. They are not “just friends,” despite what they keep saying.

If all your “friends” pairing up wasn’t enough, the sickeningly cute 2D couples in your Webtoons should be a wake-up call—it’s time you put yourself out there. We both know you have more than enough chocolate to share and have read enough fanfiction to last a lifetime.

What is that? You haven’t held hands with anyone but your mom since third grade? You’re still living off the romantic high you got from

sharing a juice box in kindergarten?

That's just sad. Fear not, because I will be your wingman through this treacherous process with a bit of help from our favorite AI, ChatGPT, because apparently, my extensive knowledge of rom-com tropes does not count as experience. Nonetheless, with a language model on your side, your “happily ever after” is merely a few prompts away.

The very first step is finding your ideal mate. This may appear as a daunting task, as there are just so many factors to keep track of, but this is AI’s time to shine. With its advanced algorithm, it has sifted through the entire Stuyvesant dating pool whilst accounting for all of your (extremely unique) preferences. The winning candidate? The girl in your English class you were always too afraid to talk to.

With a victim in mind, it’s time to channel your inner romantic and start a conversation. But then again, you are reading The Spectator, so we’ll assume you’re working with no social skills whatsoever. The key to any great relationship is a good first impression, and the sure-fire way to achieve this is with a GPT-generated pickup line. Simply slide up to her, try your best impression of a Flynn Rider smolder, and smirk: “Hey baby girl, are you a bug in my program? Because you’ve got my heart running in an infinite loop.”

Now, the next part is crucial. ChatGPT finds that, according to a detailed analysis of all past, present, and future dates, the best first date ideas are visiting a park to see all the cute animals, ice skating together, enjoying a nice hike, or having a relaxing chat over coffee. Choices, choices. But why choose one when you can have them all (and when we know you will inevitably procrastinate on choosing)? So, let’s just eliminate the hassle and combine all the ideas—she does deserve the best, after all. The obvious solution is to hike in ice skates while watching ducklings swim in coffee. While I’m confident that these strategies will work, my very last tip is on rejection. It’s alright; not everyone is as talented as me, so it’s expected that you will fail sometimes. In hard times like these, just remember that ChatGPT will do literally anything for you. Whether you force it to write you bad fanfics, roleplay a relationship, or simply give you the validation you never got from your parents, it is obligated to provide companionship. Just don’t make the mistake of confessing your undying love to it (not at all speaking from experience). Not even a romantic sonnet (written by ChatGPT, for ChatGPT) broke its cold heart, instead just eliciting a response of, “I’ve run simulations and it is just not in my programming. Let’s just stay friends.”

period of silence followed until laughter broke out among us, including the rat. Timmy sunk low in his chair.

“Brooklyn Tech?” the girl wheezed. “You’re too much, Timmy.”

Suddenly, the door burst open behind us. “Who are you?” the intruder exclaimed, dropping the lunch tray he was carrying. That’s when he noticed the wormhole, turned, and sprinted back out the door.

I stood up and peeked outside after him. “Guys… we never checked what universe we are in currently…” We were surrounded by glass walls looking out into the never-ending abyss of outer space. Displayed upon a hanging banner was the name of this alternate reality: “SpaceX High School.” A tear rolled down the Muskvesant student’s cheek.

“We still can’t escape Elon out here!”

How to Deal With the Loss of a Loved One on Valentine’s Day: For Stupid Idiots

By BENSON CHEN

Salutations, my little Pfizers! Sorry for such a late upload; I was just a bit busy moving my truck downstairs to the garage basement of my house upstate. Welcome back to Blog #97! I have an AMAZING February article for you guys today!

So… that special day is coming up. Yes, I’m talking about Saint Valentine’s Day! This wonderful time of the year is solely dedicated to love, not only for your significant other but also for friends and family around you. However, for people in the middle-aged demographic like myself, having a loved one pass away on February 14 is common! Of course, this complicates emotions during this time. How can you get to lovin’ up on someone when you’re constantly reminded of your step-niece’s motorcycle accident that happened two years ago

on that exact date? Well, let me tell you how.

One way you could get your mind off of such a tragedy on Valentine’s Day is to bake something pretty! This isn’t just because I have such a sweet tooth but also because online recipes always begin with a tragic tale of how the recipe originated, which always puts your issues into perspective. For example, when I made sugar-free sugar cookies for myself the other day, I scrolled through five pages of how the author’s grandfather survived the Vietnam War, losing only three fingers and a sound state of mind, which led him to create a sugar-free alternative to one of America’s most beloved snacks. Also, I love this recipe because I get to use butter, my favorite food. I like microwaving it, and when no one is watching, I enjoy drinking the butter juice. It makes me feel lightheaded, but the flip side is that

it takes my mind off of the death in the family, which makes it ALL worth it!

Of course, another way you could cope is by joining a support group.Expressing emotions can be so helpful when dealing with this kind of trauma! After your second session, when you are preparing to start your car in the dimly lit parking lot of a run-down mall, you WILL be approached by a woman named Beth, who WILL invite you to her gentrified neighborhood just a few blocks away. Don’t worry! This is completely normal and happens to every one of us! Beth is a kind soul, a good kisser, and a generous lover. (She also enjoys belly rubs!) After you tell her about your trauma, she ignores the “coming to terms with the fragility of life” crap that you KNEW was a fat load of bull from the support group! Instead, she will tell you of an exciting opportunity to get back your lost loved one (in

my case, it was my daughter, who I chose over my step-niece since she wouldn’t keep her damn mouth shut when she saw me smoking in the house one Thanksgiving), and in just two easy steps! Simply promise your loyalty and soul to the third king of hell, Lord Paimon, and then sacrifice three virgins to prove your servitude and loyalty. I was able to find the virgins easily within my friend group, and, to be honest, they didn’t put up a fight. They were just happy that I was engaging in more physical activities, especially after the accident. One last thing you can do to cope is to engage in some self-care. Everybody deserves a relaxing day off to paint their nails, put on a face mask, and dye their hair. I love self-care, but this time, my zombie daughter just would not leave me alone! She was continuously nibbling at my kneecaps underneath the table, and when I finally punted

her across the room, she started crawling up the walls and chanting in a really deep voice. Things like this make me realize exactly why I got rid of her in the first place. But, as they say, motherhood isn’t about taking care of a child; it’s about making the best of what you have!

I have now compromised with her and allow her to nibble my toes. This rids me of any dead skin on my feet! Self-care!

So remember, this Valentine’s Day, go get yourself some love by doing any of the above! Thankfully, with the help of Beth, I was able to not only get back my sweet baby but also rid myself of the guilt and pain felt on February 14 to instead focus on more important things, such as buying myself flowers, talking to myself for hours, and saying things that you could never understand! ohmygodIloveMileyCyrusholychristmaswowoowIfeelempowered

Krystal Khine / The Spectator

By ALEXANDER CHU

Stuyvesant High School is not exactly a school with a lot of rizz. We spend so much time focusing on AP Chemistry that we forget about the type of chemistry that matters—those butterflies in your stomach when your crush walks by, your heart thumping out of your chest, your palms sweating bottles of Poland Spring. Why find love when you can (hopefully) find a Harvard acceptance letter in the mail? If I wanted to find a lover, I would go to an easier school, like Bronx Science.

While most of us will spend Valentine’s Day whining on Instagram and TikTok about our lack of a hand to hold, there are always a few lucky ones (not me!) who manage to pull through just in time for Valentine’s Day. No matter how they got together, whether through the tried-and-true method of “Where my hug at?” or even by going after a freshman (vomit), The Spectator decided to interview some couples in the halls and ask about their Valentine’s Day plans.

Ethan Chen and Katherin Zhu, Sophomore and Sophomore “What are you guys going to do for Valentine’s Day?”

Dates or Dailies? Spec Asks: How Do Stuy Couples Spend Valentine’s Day?

Ethan: “I don’t know, actually. What’d you want to do today, bae?”

Katherin: “Hmmm… wanna go to a gaming cafe? Ooh, we can go to Waypoint Cafe! They have such nice PCs.”

Ethan: “Yeah, but that involves going outside…you know I’m allergic to grass because I don't go outside…”

Katherin: “Bruh, I can’t believe that you’re really weak to the Dendro, that’s kinda cringe ngl—”

Ethan: “Shut up!!! I don’t want to hear it from someone who can’t even hit Gold in Valorant.”

Katherin: “You shouldn’t be talking! You play for three hours every day even though you have your AP World History Edpuzzles to do!”

Ethan: “I know what we’re doing today… I’ll help you climb to Gold.”

Katherin: “Well, you know, I would actually hit Gold if our Reyna wouldn’t [EXPLETIVE] throw the game all the time!”

Ethan: “Jeez, kitten, you know you can’t say those words in public! I forbade you!”

Katherin: “I’m sowwy….0w0”

Ethan: “You can make it up to me by not instalocking Jett!”

(They then walk away, still bickering over the better Agent while holding hands.)

Shortly after this interview, our interviewers had to take a short break to throw up into a garbage can.

Krishna Patel and Elizabeth Le, Sophomore and Junior

“What are you guys going to do for Valentine’s Day?”

Krishna: “We’re going to hang out in a staircase for our shared four to five free period!”

Elizabeth: “Stawwpp, you’re not supposed to say that!” (She grabs Krishna’s arm and giggles.)

Krishna: “Come on, there’s like two more months left in cuffing season anyway… It’s not like anyone is doing anything else this time of year.”

Elizabeth: “But it’s so awkward when you say it out loud…”

Krishna: “It’s nothing…inappropriate. It’s all school appropriate.”

(Our interviewers ask what “hanging out” entails.)

Krishna: “Oh you know, like talking…and stuff.”

Elizabeth: “Yeah! All the stuff you see going on at the Sophomore Bar!”

Krishna: “That’s not really helping our case here, Liz.”

Elizabeth: “It’s fine, right? Not like anyone reads The Spectator anyway, right?”

Krishna: “Yeah, but we definitely need to find a new spot after—”

(Krishna then pulls Elizabeth close and whispers into her ear. The words “Stuyvesant Confessions” and “Moran” are heard.)

Elizabeth: “Oh, you’re right. But where?”

(The couple walks off, engrossed in a secretive conversation as they navigate the crowded hallway.) Our interviewers have no comments on this story.

Alvin Kim and Kelly Lin, Senior and Freshman “What are you guys going to do for Valentine’s Day?”

Kelly: “He came up to me and asked if I needed help to find my classes ‘cause it was my first day of school, and I said yes! He was soooo dreamy and he also was like BFFs with my brother, but it was weird that all of his friends were snickering behind him but its pr—”

(Our interviewers reiterate the question.)

Alvin: “Going to K-Town. She just loves Grace Street—you know how it be.”

Kelly: “Oh yeah! The sunset lemonade is great! The shaved ice is sooo good. You just have to try some. Then we’ll probably go to ka-

How to Murder Young Love

along those onions from before.

continued from page 21

and hand-holding; remember, PDA equals failure in the complex game of third wheeling. They may say, “Can you move please?” or “Can we sit next to each other?” You know what to do if this happens. When in doubt, start crying. I encourage you to teach yourself how to cry on demand ASAP, though only experienced third wheels can really master this—so maybe bring

By MADELYN LI NUNEZ

February 14: Valentine’s Day, also known as the day you receive Valentine’s Day Grams from yourself because no one else would buy you any. I know you have never had a valentine; you fall well below everyone’s standards—not even the freshman furries would waste their time on you. Of course, I cannot relate to this because my copious suitors are lining up at my doorstep (Bridgerton-style), beg ging for the privilege of gifting me heart-shaped boxes of chocolates, expensive bouquets, and sixfoot-tall teddy bears. However, I do know everyone’s personalities based on their favorite Valentine’s chocolates, and that gives me far more insight than a shared heartbreak ever could. I mean, what else am I going to do with a surplus of drugstore sweets other than reveal whether your best friend is as fruity as their favorite fruity chocolate, or if that goth kid down the street only likes dark chocolate to match their newly discovered dark side after bingewatching Wednesday?

Dark Chocolate:

You think that you are so so phisticated and sPeCiAl because

2. Interrupt at every turn They’re trying to compliment each other’s outfits? Stop them immediately, and do a fit check of your own. They’re trying to talk about their families? Tell them the story of how your parents met and had you— might as well throw in your own life story! They’re trying to say “I love you” to each other? Respond with, “Aw, I love you too, besties!”

If all else fails and they’re blushing and holding hands and giggling, pull out the trump card:

3. Dig up the dirt

If you’re actually friends with this person, you are bound to have some embarrassing picture of or story about them. And if not? You know the saying: Photoshop is a third wheel’s best friend.

This would be the perfect time to whip out that camera roll and expose some of your fin-

est photography. Maybe it’s the photo with the not-so-flattering lighting or that pic you snagged when your friend dared to make a weird face on a video call. Whatever it is, make sure that it makes its way in front of their date’s eyes. Rave about how amazing your friend’s ex is and how much you miss them! Recount the time your friend puked from eating Takis! Don’t feel guilty. They should feel guilty for being in a relationship when YOU’RE sin-

Are You as Salty as a Salted Caramel?

your favorite chocolate is as rich as Jeff Bezos. Yeah, well, guess what?

You are wrong. You crave attention and your “friends” want to flick you on the forehead whenever you come too close. Your expensive taste buds are just a cover for the fact that you were raised without an ounce of class. Secretly, you would much rather be chowing down on a pack

after finding out the neighborhood gossip. Sure, your love of antioxidant-rich dark chocolate could reduce your risk of heart disease… if you even have a heart. You wear a monocle, walk around with a cane, and start every sentence with, “Back in my day…”

Fruit-Filled Chocolate: OMG!!! You are so quirky and special! You are not like other chocolate lovers; you like fruity chocolates! You are so peppy and energized from the fruits’ nutrients that the people around you would rather hear looped recordings of fingernails scratching a chalkboard than your obnoxious voice. Nobody cares that you like fruit-filled chocolate. If you’re gonna be a oholic, do it right! Lose the strawberries and raspberries and whatever else you guys put in there. You are only kidding yourself with your fruit salad of a candy. Stop worrying about what other people think of you—you are always a hot mess. Except you are not hot; you are just a mess. In fact, Einstein’s ratty hair looks better than yours.

Milk Chocolate:

You are basic [REDACTED]. Your favorite word is “slay” and

raoke, then back to his house!”

Alvin: “Yeah, I live alone. You know, parents trying to ‘prepare me for college’ and all that. They’re in New Hampshire right now.”

Kelly (giggling): “We’re going to watch so many movies and stuff— it’s going to be so much fun!”

(Our interviewers then ask what their friends think of their relationship.)

Kelly: “All of my friends think it’s cool! They all want to date someone if they’re as cool as Alvin is.”

Alvin: “Well, uh, some of my friends have interesting takes on it. They think I’m a freshie hunter. I’m not. Kelly’s just…very mature for her age. I mean, it’s just a number after all, right?

(Following that statement, Alvin takes a step back and starts walking away from our interviewers, disappearing into the crowded hallway.)

Kelly: “Babe, wait up!”

(Kelly then follows him down the crowded hallway.)

Ultimate takeaway: Stuy kids… are interesting. Stuy kids in relationships? Horrific.

Disclaimer: The opinions reflected in these interviews do not necessarily reflect the opinions of The Spectator but of the individuals they are reporting on.

gle. How inconsiderate of them! Being a third wheel isn’t always easy. Sometimes you might want to give up or flee. But if you have the proper determination, you will eventually lose your sense of shame and might even prefer it over a real relationship! I wish you all good luck with your third wheeling endeavors. *Neither I nor the Spectator Humor department should be held responsible if you lose said friend as a result of the given advice.

you once thought a One Direction member was your soulmate. You seek security and comfort, which is why you went back to your ex even after all your friends begged you not to. Either that, or “situationship” is your middle name. You claim that you are easy-going: “I just love regular old milk chocolate.” But you are most certainly not. After all, you say chocolate is only real milk chocolate if it is made in Switzerland. Apparently, “Pennsylvanians do not know how to make proper chocolate, so Hershey chocolates can go melt in a ditch.”

Peanut Butter/ Almond Butter Chocolate:

You have so much energy that being around you is like playing Whack-A-Mole: Your rodent head spawns out of nowhere, and everyone is always just too slow to give you a proper beating. The truth is, you are just plain nutty! Like a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup, you seem innocent enough from the outside, but you expose your despicable, oversalted center after you hang around for a while. Your personality is so toxic that people develop antibodies against you, but at least your hands are always “smooth like butter, like a criminal undercover.” Your go-to icebreaker fun fact is that your least favorite month is November.

Salted Caramel Chocolate:

There is no other way to say this except that you have a resting [REDACTED] face. Like your favorite chocolate, you are a combination of sweet and salty. You are as sweet as the feeling of a next-period free but as salty as the dread of having to run from the first floor to the 10th floor during passing time. You like to think that you have rizz, but my dead grandpa has more rizz than you do. Go get your caramel stuck in your braces or something. Actually, in the spirit of Valentine’s Day, go get your caramel stuck in someone else’s.

White Chocolate: No one likes you, and white chocolate should not even be considered real chocolate. That is all I can say before this article gets cut due to my unforgivable use of profanity.

I have just proven to you two very important points. First, no matter which chocolate you like, there are several things wrong with you. After all, you are reading The Spectator instead of consulting Cosmopolitan or taking “Do they like me?” quizzes on Buzzfeed for relationship advice. Second, white chocolate is a no-no.

And a word of advice: the Duane Reade on North End Avenue sells cheap tissues for your Valentine’s Day sorrows.

PSAL Divisions: Feast or Famine

By SOFIA HERNANDEZ and AVA QUARLES

In recent history, both Stuyvesant’s girls’ and boys’ basketball teams have maintained winning records and are consistently competitive within their respective divisions. Both are in the Manhattan AI league but are powerless in the race to first place thanks to Murry Bergtraum, a sports-centric school based in Lower Manhattan. The girls, the Phoenix, lost to Bergtraum by 51 and the boys, the Storm, lost by 48. These losses were not anomalies, with Bergtraum’s girls’ team winning their games by an average of 46 points, and the boys by 51. Murry Bergtraum is a newcomer in the girls’ league, playing their first year in this division after moving down from the AA league, where they were eliminated from the playoffs in the quarterfinals.

Murry Bergtraum is just one example of a PSAL team with a legacy of success, proven by their countless championship banners and trophies. Bergtraum recruits students, many of whom go on to play sports at higher levels, a practice that is illegal according to the PSAL rulebook. Still, Bergtraum brings in athletes every year who add

NBA

By VEDANT KOTHARI and WILL TSE

The NBA 2022-2023 season has so far exceeded its expectations. From physical altercations resulting in multiple suspensions to buzzer beaters to win the game, this season has provided no shortage of entertainment for fans. However, among the overlooked factors generating this excitement is the rise of young talent this season. Many teams are prioritizing their future and focusing on building and strengthening their young core, which has been evident with the numerous teams tanking for forward Victor Wembanyama. The talent on display this year has been extraordinary, but there have been particular players whose standout seasons have been incredibly encouraging for not only the future of their respective teams but the future of the NBA as well.

#1: Evan Mobley

With the arrival of Donovan Mitchell in the offseason, the Cleveland Cavaliers have been among the most exciting teams to watch this season. With one of the youngest squads in the league, the Cavaliers are doing exceptionally well this season and seem to have taken the next step in their aspirations of contend-

to this pattern. Because of the school’s high-achieving program, Bergtraum has a sponsorship from Nike Elite and head-to-toe team-issued gear, an extremely rare partnership for a PSAL team. Their athletes often graduate to play basketball in college, so one should wonder why they play in a division against specialized high schools that prioritize academics. On the PSAL website, Murry Bergtraum posted a “Coach’s Preview of the Coming Season: We work hard to keep the tradition alive.” Yet, is this tradition truly the result of hard work, or is it a consequence of division-dropping and chip-chasing?

Inequity such as the disparity exemplified by Bergtraum disrupts the balance of the PSAL’s divisions, depriving teams in their respective leagues of the chance to hone their skills in fair games. When asked about these blowout games that result from inequitable divisions, Stuyvesant JV boys’ basketball coach Howard Barbin said, “Competition is supposed to be healthy. It’s disheartening. It’s defeating. I understand getting better by playing against better competition, but in league competition, I don’t see anything in it for either team.” When Bergtraum’s

boys’ team played Washington Irving’s team on December 16, 2022, they won by a whopping 99 points.

The problem with defeating teams to this extent, besides showing the winner’s poor sportsmanship, is that it strips both the winner and the loser of a constructive game of basketball. A game in which a team is losing by 100 points offers little-to-no opportunity for growth. Barbin said, “What, are you there for their entertainment just to get stomped on and bullied? Make it more equitable, so that both teams get something out of it. It’s either feast or famine. There’s no in-between.”

These discrepancies are clearly pressing when teams opt out of games they know will be brutal runaways, as was the case for Seward Park, a school that forfeited their game against Bergtraum this season. Teams may consider forfeiting highly mismatched games because they can be both futile and unsafe for players. In fact, in the girls’ game against Bergtraum, senior co-captain Samantha Furman received a concussion as a result of rough defense. “It makes sense. When teams are too aggressive against teams that are worse than them, people get hurt,”

said senior and girls’ basketball co-captain Caitlin Wong. There are institutionalized reasons for these powerhouse teams. “The PSAL likes it when they have a team like that. It draws national and television attention and advertisements. They’ll look the other way in certain cases. They’ll play fast and loose with the rules,” Barbin said. Evidently, the PSAL will make exceptions if it ultimately benefits them. Issues arise with teams that claim fraudulent ages, grades, and addresses for students. More specifically, the issue of division inequality within the PSAL this year stemmed from teams’ abilities to choose between staying in the AA division or moving down to the lower A division. This gave schools the opportunity to select their competition, resulting in dishonest changes that rippled through the league. Coach of the boys’ soccer, girls’ basketball, and softball teams Vincent Miller said, “In soccer, we had the option to be down in A, but we decided to play up in AA because we’re good enough to compete in AA. We could have stayed down in A and blown out a lot of teams and made it far in the playoffs, and [it was the] same thing with softball. I would

The Future of the NBA

ing. The Cavaliers’ dominant backcourt is undoubtedly deserving of the praise they receive, but their frontcourt of Evan Mobley and Jarrett Allen, who have been just as crucial to their team’s success, is often overlooked.

Since the Cavs drafted Mobley as the third overall pick in the 2021 NBA draft, he has been extremely effective in all areas of the court. In his rookie year, he was averaging 15.1 points over a field goal percentage of 52.7 percent, 8.6 rebounds, and 2.6 assists per game––impressive statistics, but not groundbreaking like some had expected. This season, Mobley has seen his numbers skyrocket and is now averaging 9.0 rebounds per game while boasting a field goal percentage of 55.2 percent. He is an outstanding defender in the paint as well, especially for a sophomore, as he has averaged 1.4 blocks per game.

As far as talent goes, Mobley is nothing short of generational. For someone of his height, he is extremely athletic, allowing him to dominate in the paint. He is a clutch performer, as evidenced by his midrange game-winner against the Phoenix Suns earlier this season. Centers have consistently been breaking away from the traditional build-andplay style, providing Mobley with an ideal environment to

showcase his unique and dynamic skill set.

Though both Darius Garland and Mitchell deserve tremendous amounts of respect, the presence of Mobley should not be neglected. In only his second year, he is playing a substantial amount of basketball and contributing on both the offensive and defensive sides of the court at a level above and beyond what the Cavaliers had hoped. Head coach J.B. Bickerstaff and the rest of the Cavaliers organization have to be pleased not only with his incredible talent and skill set but also with his continued growth. They have uncovered a gem in Mobley, and if he continues his upward trajectory, the sky’s the limit for him and the Cavaliers.

#2: Anthony Edwards

Before this season, Anthony Edwards was already a household name for Minnesota Timberwolves fans, having been with the organization for three years already. Having been the first overall pick in the 2020 NBA draft ahead of James Wiseman and the talented LaMelo Ball, the expectations for Edwards were already set high. At only 21 years of age, Edwards has three years of league experience under his belt and his offensive effectiveness at such a young age points towards

rather play better competition and better teams. I want to play at our level.”

This choice, handled differently by different schools, poses the question: how should the PSAL manage divisions to avoid this imbalance? By taking into account hard statistics, previous records, and teams’ incoming rosters, the organization can help ensure that teams like Murry Bergtraum are not playing unchallenged for championship titles. The PSAL should not allow for clear divergences within divisions. Rather the PSAL is obligated to promote sportsmanship and healthy competition to prevent cold blowouts caused by mismatched teams. Boys’ varsity basketball coach Charles Sewell said, “I’ve always felt it is incumbent upon all PSAL coaches to remember that we are, first and foremost, educators. As such, we must teach our student-athletes to be compassionate in victory. There are numerous tactics a team can employ to slow a game down, maintain a comfortable lead, and limit the extent of a blowout.” By organizing divisions with the goal of equity, the PSAL could host safer, more constructive games for all teams

him being a large part of the Timberwolves’ success in the future.

In his rookie season, Edwards immediately walked into the Timberwolves lineup, and the decision paid off: he averaged 19.3 points, 4.7 rebounds, and 2.9 assists in 32.1 minutes––dominant numbers for a rookie, and even more impressive considering he was only 18. His second season saw marginal increases across the board as he grew more comfortable with the league and his team, but this season has been his true breakout. The shooting guard has seen an impressive hike across his stat line, averaging 24.8 points, 6.1 rebounds, and 4.6 assists in almost 37 minutes per game. His rise has been exponential, and if it can be sustained, the Timberwolves are destined for success at the hands of Edwards.

Additionally, Edwards’s positional versatility has been key to increasing his effectiveness each year. He is comfortable shooting from anywhere on the court which, when combined with his raw talent and athleticism, makes him one of the most unique players in the league. His playstyle is very similar to that of Dwayne Wade, and while he’s not Wade quite yet, Timberwolves fans have to be excited at the prospect of a core head-

lined by Karl-Anthony Towns, D’Angelo Russell, and Edwards who can bring an NBA championship to Target Center soon.

#3: Tyrese Haliburton

For the past three years, Tyrese Haliburton was one of the most underappreciated guards in the league. His playmaking abilities were shadowed by the points he averaged and the emergence of flashy guards like Ball. Now in his fourth season, Haliburton is tearing up the league and finally getting the recognition he deserves. At 6’5”, he has the height and athleticism to be a generational point guard, but the Pacers have a responsibility to allow him to reach that potential.

In his rookie year, Haliburton displayed his playmaking skills and consistent three-point shooting ability while collecting 13 points, 5.3 assists, and three rebounds a game. In his sophomore year, Haliburton’s game took a step forward, and he was rewarded with a starting point guard role. His playmaking improved, as he averaged 7.4 assists, but his field goal percentage was slightly lower. However, Haliburton’s improvement is most

continued on page 26

NFL Breaking Down the Bills

By DUNCAN PARK

Snow pummels the ground in Orchard Park as the Buffalo Bills take the field while the fans scream the iconic “Shout!” song at the top of their lungs. Superstar quarterback Josh Allen and second-team All-Pro wide receiver Stefon Diggs are preparing their team to face rising superstar Joe Burrow and his Cincinnati Bengals. This game was touted to be among the best divisional round games in recent history: both teams boast superstar quarterbacks and high-octane offenses, and the regular season matchup had been canceled because of Bills safety Damar Hamlin’s distressing cardiac arrest. The Bengals jumped to an early lead, as Burrow threw 9/9 for 105 yards en route to two consecutive touchdowns to open the game. Meanwhile, the Bills’ aerial attack was nonexistent, forcing them to punt consistently. The sentiment of the team was evident in Diggs’s frustration on the sideline later in the game, as the early lead proved too difficult to overcome and the Bills fell, 27-10.

Coming into the season, the Bills were the favorites to win the Super Bowl. It seemed as if fate had wanted them to win since Josh Allen’s breakout game against the Kansas City Chiefs in the divisional round last season when he cemented his status among the elite quarterbacks, giving Bills fans a real reason to hope, a rare case for Buffalo fans. In the Bills’ 53 years in the NFL, they have won no championships––and neither have the Buffalo Sabres, the local NHL team. Buffalo’s luck has made it hard for fans

Girls’ Basketball

By ANAS AHMED

Coming off of a 12-4 season, the Stuyvesant Phoenix looks to make it back onto the road of success in what has been an underwhelming season. “After last year, the expectation is always the same. We always expect and plan to make [the] playoffs,” head coach Vincent Miller said.

Standing at 6-9, the girls’ varsity basketball team aims to win its last regular season game, which would cap off what some might see as a disappointing season. Hit by injuries left and right, especially before crucial games, the Phoenix have not tasted major success since their exceptional 20212022 season. Despite substantial losses against highly skilled opponents, the team has shown ample grit and dedication when it comes to withstanding some of this season’s toughest challenges.

In a season where starters were in-and-out with injuries, like sprained ankles or concussions, the Phoenix’s grit and willpower were put to the

to get too hopeful, between a 17-year playoff drought and four consecutive Super Bowls losses with coach Marv Levy and Hall of Fame quarterback Jim Kelly’s electric team. After resigning themselves to disappointment year after year, Josh Allen’s emergence finally gave fans a reason to hope they could capture the elusive Super Bowl, but their dreams were once again crushed in a heartbreaking loss to the Bengals.

After the game against Cincinnati, fans began calling for firings, trades, and other impulsive moves. It’s easy to point fingers reactionarily after a disappointing loss, but management has to have the headspace to reflect and make sensible decisions.

In hindsight, Bills and NFL fans alike have to sympathize with the team for the pain and suffering they endured throughout the year. Before the season even began, the local Buffalo community was inflicted with countless lives lost in blizzards and the tragic Tops shooting. Additionally, co-owner and president Kim Pegula was hospitalized for a cardiac arrest, though the cause of the hospitalization only became known more recently. Looking past the tragedies to a season of football was never going to be an easy task, and the sudden loss of tight end Dawson Knox’s brother, Luke Knox, only compounded that.

Finally, Hamlin’s cardiac arrest, one of the most emotional moments in recent sports history, took a heavy toll on the organization. The outpouring of love received from across the game was a beautiful gesture of unity, but very little

could compare to what the Bills players emotionally endured in that moment. This wasn’t any normal season; the seemingly insurmountable emotional obstacles would make it nearly impossible for any team to power through, making it all the more impressive when the Bills made the divisional round.

In addition to the emotional rollercoaster, the Bills’ lengthy list of injuries was a huge deterrent to their season. Allen carried an elbow injury for much of the season; linebacker Von Miller missed the season with an ACL tear; top cornerback Tre’Davious White was recovering from an ACL tear for half of the season; and starting safeties Micah Hyde and Jordan Poyer suffered injuries that significantly impaired their performance. The sheer number of injuries shows the adversity of the team to continue their efforts even after major setbacks. While injuries aren’t an excuse for failure, they were clearly detrimental to the Bills’ hopeful season.

However, a bigger problem has been established with the coaching staff’s methodology. Although Allen didn’t play up to his standards, the defense let him down in a big playoff game, as they allowed the Bengals to jump to an early lead that Allen was never able to make up. Defensive coordinator Leslie Frazier needs to change his methods, as they’ve become predictable and easily exploited. First-year offensive coordinator Ken Dorsey struggled under the spotlight but also discovered and utilized rookie running back James Cook’s talent out of the backfield. However, Dorsey’s in-

experience was evident in his many questionable calls in the final game, such as throwing it deep on third-and-short and under-utilizing the short passing game. On the bright side, head coach Sean McDermott showed leadership and character throughout the season, lifting the team up after every tragedy and being a leader for the players to look toward.

Looking at next season and the future, the Bills should be worried. For starters, Allen’s mammoth salary cap kicks in next season, meaning there’s less room to surround him with versatile weapons. The Bills are already $21 million over the salary cap, without accounting for re-signing free agents such as Poyer and Tremaine Edmunds or any rookie deals and contract extensions. Additionally, the wide receiver room is lacking in talent, outside of Diggs. Gabe Davis has shown only flashes of brilliance and isn’t an ideal WR2 for a contending team, and none of the Bills’ other options are particularly inspiring. Other AFC rivals, such as the Bengals, have multiple deadly options or make up for it with the run game. The Bills’ run game was mediocre, doing well statistically, but proved to be ineffective on the field outside of Allen’s winding runs through the secondary. General Manager Brandon Beane has some significant changes to make if the Bills hope to put themselves in a confident spot to contend.

Most worryingly, there’s a lost sense of hope from Bills fans. As Allen ages, each year becomes dimmer, potentially causing fans to be less willing to push the team forward. Bills fans have been considered the

Stuyvesant’s Dark Phoenix

test. “For most of the season, we have not played with a full roster. Despite the injuries, we still work hard in practices and games,” Miller said. This hard work and determination translated into several stellar games for the Phoenix, many of which were won by players who have truly stepped up their game this season, whether it be in scoring, playmaking, or defending, since last year. The senior captains made an excellent impact throughout the season: senior and co-captain Samantha “Sammy” Furman, an excellent leader on and off the court, senior Adriana Lam, a pictureperfect basketball player, snagging boards and always hustling down the court, and senior and co-captain Caitlin Wong, a tough and gritty player who single-handedly took control of the Phoenix’s fourth quarters. Additionally, other seniors put up excellent statistics to help the Phoenix conquer adversity in each of their six wins, such as senior Marion Rambler, who is one of the best rebounders in the PSAL A division, senior Venus Wan, the Phoenix’s best

defender this season, and senior Savana Yeung.

Despite having such talented players at the helm of the roster, most of the season was marred by injuries and adversity that could not be crushed by the Phoenix. “Usually it’s fiveon-five, but this year especially,

lence throughout the year, illustrating their potential to rise in future PSAL seasons. In particular, this season saw the rise of a new playstyle, one that could change the outlook of the team for years to come. “A lot more of our team got to play this year, much more than last year.

best in the NFL for consecutive years due to their resilience and unrelenting passion, and have played an intangible but significant role in the Bills’ resurgence. In order to have a successful future, fans need to be prepared to support the team unconditionally, even if that means yet another heartbreak. While Buffalo doesn’t have the highest fan number, the “Bills Mafia” make up for it with their sense of community and family––characterized by their many charitable acts. In 2017, Bengals quarterback Andy Dalton threw a 49-yard touchdown pass with under a minute remaining to knock out the Baltimore Ravens and send the Bills to the playoffs for the first time in 17 years. This led Bills Mafia to raise over $440,000 for Dalton’s foundation helping pediatric patients, and their generosity has only seemed to grow. Since then, they have inspired rival fan bases, members of Bills Mafia, and partnering companies to donate millions to good causes. One notable movement was donating increments of $17, Allen’s jersey number, to Oishei Children’s Hospital’s Patricia Allen Pediatric Recovery Wing, named in memory of Allen’s late grandmother who passed from cancer. The Buffalo community also gave millions to fight racism, buying “Choose Love” shirts, with 100 percent of proceeds donated. One can worry about the Bills’ pain, but every season is a new beginning, and one can rest assured that the faithful fans will be there en masse on opening day. And, then again, there’s Josh Allen, and that’s all we need (sometimes).

it felt like one-on-five out there sometimes,” Furman said.

Though this season was less successful than the Phoenix had hoped for, the team has a lot to look forward to next year. They showed sparks of excel-

[Though] on paper we were not that successful, I feel like our quality of play, even in practice, has gotten better,” Wong said.

To cope with adversity all season long, the Phoenix resorted to plugging different

players into the lineup every game, resulting in experience for the entire roster. Whether it be a freshman who just joined the team or a senior who had been there for four years, everyone was contributing. Lam credits this to the team’s “cohesiveness” during the regular season, with Furman adding that the group developed excellent chemistry as “the team was not divided by grade and [they] played as one team.” Subsequently, in a year that was not as successful on paper, the girls’ varsity basketball team developed valuable skills, such as determination and discipline. “I’m just so confident in the people we have on this team. I’m so happy with where we’re leaving them and I know that they are ready for next season. They’re in good hands and I know they are well prepared for it,” Furman said. Looking back, this season has been one to help set up for future Phoenix teams, implementing a system where everyone is contributing and part of the team effort.

Hepzibah Srithas / The Spectator

Athlete of the Issue

Everyday Tumblin’

By YASHNA PATEL and FREDERIK SCHUTZ

Name: Daria Minhas

Grade: Senior

Height: 5’ 4”

Hair Color: Brown

Eye Color: Brown

Date of Birth: August 8, 2005

1. When and how did you start doing gymnastics?

How long have you been on the Panthers, Stuyvesant’s girls’ varsity gymnastics team?

I have been doing gymnastics for 15 years. I started when I was about two or three years old doing Mommy and Me classes. Then, I started competing on an actual team when I was seven, which slowly progressed to a Junior Olympic level. But, I stopped doing gymnastics my freshman year, and after transferring to Stuyvesant my sophomore year, I joined the Panthers. But, since junior year was my first year coming into school in person, I’ve only been on the team for two years. I actually left Staten Island Tech because they didn’t have a gymnastics team, and I wanted to continue in high school.

2. What events do you specialize in/are your favorite?

What skills/strengths are involved?

I’m an all-rounder, meaning I do everything. But, I specialize in vault. I actually think I should be City Champion in vault right now. It’s definitely a big power event. You’re just sprinting, going as hard as you can. You also need to think about multiple things at the same time and remember all the parts to complete a skill, since the judges will take off execution points for the smallest things. For example, my highest vault score this season was an 8.35, which [included] a 0.15 deduction for only a tiny step on my landing. This year, I also got really good at bars, and I am first or second in the rankings. For bars it is all about strength and learning how to keep a tempo [rather] than straight power.

NBA

3. What is your most memorable/proud moment with the team?

Definitely making the state team last year. That was a really big moment for me. I was out for the entire season, and I only competed in the last three meets due to issues with the coach, but I still managed to clear the qualification standards in three meets, whereas other girls got 10 to do so. I was really proud of myself for clearing those qualifications in such a short period of time and then going on to compete at state championships.

4. How has being a captain changed your outlook on gymnastics? What lessons have you learned from this position that you can apply to life?

I was the captain of my Junior Olympic team back when I was in middle school. It was definitely a very different experience from now. I didn’t have as much freedom, but right now, in the PSAL, the captains and the upperclassmen run the sports teams. It’s really nice to finally have more control and create opportunities for other people where I didn’t have any. I’ve found such a good community with the Panthers, and I wouldn’t trade that for anything. I also have learned a lot about spotting others and… how to translate visual cues into vocal feedback. As much as I can explain to someone what they are doing, having to tell them what they actually have to do to fix it [are] two very different things. I’m actually a gymnastics coach outside of school, so that comes in really handy.

5. Do you have any plans to continue doing gymnastics in the future or in college?

No. I think it’s time for me to stop. I’ve been battling a serious back injury since my freshman year. It was threatening pretty much my entire life, so once I hurt myself, any hopes I had for college or Olympic gymnastics went out the window. I was able to come back

and compete in high school and it was fun, but it’s time to move on and pursue other sports. I will keep coaching if I can, but I’m content without competing.

6. Do you have any pre-meet superstitions or rituals?

I always visualize everything. If you see me before I compete, [I’ll] most likely have my face in the wall, just imagining myself hitting everything in my routine perfectly. Also, this is not really a pre-meet superstition, but I carry a little llama charm around with me. During our floor routines, all of our

First, we set up, which means putting everything out. All of our equipment is extremely heavy, so it’s literally part of the workout. We do a 30-minute long warmup and stretch, give or take. You have to be very thorough. And then its dynamic stretches are based on what kind of event you are going to do. So, if we set up the beam, I [would] have us all do some beam techniques together, whether it’s just walking across…the beam on our tippy toes or doing a jump. And then for [the] floor, [we do the] same kind of stuff: we always start with floor basics, vault ba-

much on lockdown, so I am most likely competing at the state championship. It’s not official yet, but they take the top 15 gymnasts in New York City and right now I’m in the top four. It would also be really cool to get captain of the state team, and we have the Individuals meet next week, so I want to do well there, too.

10. How did losing a year of gymnastics due to COVID-19 lockdowns affect you?

continued from page 24

prominently seen in his increase from a -1.75 RPM to a 2.70 RPM, a statistic that effectively measures a player’s contribution to his team.

After Haliburton got traded to the Indiana Pacers, his third year saw his game continue to improve, as he averaged 17.5 points and 9.6 assists. Unfortunately, his growth stalled because of injuries that took him out for all but 26 games.

This year, he has shined with the Pacers, the spotlight

teammates try to dance each other’s floor routine, so we all know little parts of each other’s routine, which kind of represents the characteristics of the person who is competing.

7. What are the best and worst parts of gymnastics? I love the adrenaline rush. The feeling you get when you do something perfectly, sticking to something or just getting a skill for the first time. It’s an unmatched feeling that I just can’t describe. The worst part would probably be the fact that the sport is so mental. It’s hard physically and whatnot, but trying the same thing over and over again for months on end with no real success is just so mentally draining.

8. What does a typical gymnastics practice look like?

sics, [and] so on and so forth. After that, we hit whatever we want on the apparatus. We try to stick straight by the books. We have regulation requirements that we have to make, so a lot of our time is spent trying to build routines that meet those requirements and then also perfecting them, so not only do we get a high difficulty score but also a high execution score. Once we are done with that, we [would have] some calisthenics conditioning—just bodyweight, no weightlifting. And then we pack up [and] put everything away, which takes another 30 minutes.

9. Are there any short-term goals you’d like to accomplish in the next month going into the last few competitions of the season?

I have the state team pretty

The Future of the NBA

on him and the ball in his hands. Haliburton has more than 20 points per game and boasts a league-leading 10.2 assists per game. He is on his way to becoming a top point guard in the league, with his RPM currently sitting at 5.78. His craftiness is similar to John Stockon and he has a unique ability to get to the basket. As long as Haliburton stays healthy, his enormous potential and talent will cause major problems for opposing teams.

#4: Lauri Markkanen

Among the older emerging

stars is power forward Lauri Markkanen. Markkanen was a talented offensive big man that could shoot the three––a rare find in today’s game. Markkanen spent his first four years at Chicago but wasn’t able to find a fit. He averaged about 15 points throughout his four years at Chicago, but his field goals percentage, touted as his specialty, was subpar. However, he occasionally showed signs of a dominant big man with a three-point ability and an elite court vision.

Markkanen’s time with the Cavaliers was similarly unsuccessful, with his stat line re-

maining largely unchanged. Markkanen needed to find a team where he could play with the ball in his hands, which was never an option when he was flanked by Zach LaVine or Collin Sexton and Darius Garland. His opportunity emerged when he was traded to the Utah Jazz.

When Mitchell got traded to the Cavaliers and Rudy Gobert to the Timberwolves, it gave Markkanen the chance to show his potential. The Jazz were expected to tank for Wembanyama, but Markkanen and Jordan Clarkson changed the Jazz’s season out-

I actually remember the day when I realized how much COVID was going to affect my gymnastics career. I was walking home in Bay Ridge after I got off the bus from Staten Island, and I got an email from USA Gymnastics, the program I was enrolled in, saying that our state championship was canceled and so was the rest of the season. They were shutting down everything. My world literally shattered. My entire life was gymnastics. But during that time was when I had first injured my back, tearing a ligament and fracturing a vertebra, and if the pandemic hadn’t hit, I would have trained through that. I was going to keep going because that’s what gymnastics does to you. It puts you in a mindset that you can not stop at all. So the pandemic actually saved my life.

Funniest Teammate: Anisa

Foreman, Elizabeth Paperno, Coach Choubs

Favorite Professional Gymnast: Sunisa Lee, Shawn Johnson, Oksana Chusovitina

Competing on Full or Light Stomach: Light stomach

Favorite Sports Drink: Lemon-lime Gatorade

Favorite Post-Meet Snack: Mushroom and kale

Gymnastic Pet Peeve: Chalk everywhere.

Favorite Hobby: Skating, Boxing

If You Could Play Another

Sport: Football Motto to Live By: I am more capable than I know. Fun Fact: I can do a backflip on a scooter.

look. This season, Markkanen is averaging 25 points and 8.7 rebounds while shooting 52 percent from the field and an absurd 43 percent from the three-point line—finally realizing his potential as a dynamic scorer. He is comfortable shooting off the dribble and athletic enough to get to the rim, and his RPM has shot up by six from his years at the Cavaliers and Jazz. Markkanen is showing that he is a force to be reckoned with, and once his defense improves, he could be one of the best twoway ball players in the league.

Hepzibah

Srithas / The Spectator

By KHUSH WADHWA, JOHN JAY WANG, and ADRIAN VETO

New York baseball hasn’t been this heated since the 2000s. Both the Yankees and Mets are betting big, making moves to keep stars in town and bring in new talent. Hal Steinbrenner’s Yankees, after falling yet again to the Astros in disappointing fashion, hope to defeat their southern rivals for control of the American League this year. Steve Cohen’s Mets are looking to bounce back from their disappointing Wild Card series loss against the Padres after achieving 101 wins in the regular season. But which team has won the offseason? Like in the 2000s, there can only be one New York juggernaut, and we are here to determine which team is in better shape for the 2023 MLB season.

1: Pitching

Mets

Timmy Trumpet isn’t going any where. The Mets’ star closer Ed win Díaz is dwelling in Flushing for another five seasons. This was an important move, as Díaz was essential to the Mets’ ability to lock down games. In 2020, a sea son where the Mets’ run creation was fifth-best in MLB history according to WRC+, they failed to secure games as their defense struggled to prevent runs in criti cal times. However, with Díaz at the helm, the Mets have been able to close out games at will. Díaz only allowed nine runs across his 62 innings pitched, resulting in 32 saves. Besides electrifying Citi Field during his walk-outs, Díaz will provide Mets closing power that makes every penny spent on his contract worthwhile. By his side will be veteran Da vid Robertson, who the Mets signed on a one-year contract. Robertson brings a veteran pres ence to the team, with 14 years of major league play under his belt. Though his statistical pro file is not as impressive as Díaz’s, he still is an excellent addition to the Mets, who are looking to shut down games behind their power ful starting rotation.

Adding to a rotation that resembled the who’s who of modern MLB pitching, the Mets brought Justin Verlander to Flushing with an eye-watering $86 million contract for two years. He’ll be joining former teammate Max Scherzer, who played with him during the Detroit Tigers’ playoff runs. Carlos Carrasco and David Peterson will join that duo, along with two other signings that made headlines.

José Quintana put up the best ERA of his career with the St. Louis Cardinals last season, and the Mets brought him to town for two years at $26 million. Alongside him will be three-time Japanese all-star Kodai Senga, who will make his American debut with the Mets. Overall, despite the departure of Jacob deGrom, the Mets have put together a rotation that screams power with the combination of veterans and rising talent.

Yankees

Shortly after their crosstown rivals added Verlander to the rotation, the Yankees matched the Mets’ acquisition by signing lefthander Carlos Rodón to a six-

The Offseason Subway Series

year, $162 million deal. Rodón had a masterful 2022 campaign with the Giants, putting up a 2.88 ERA over 178 innings while posting an MLB-leading 12.0 K/9. Rodón also excels at keeping the ball in the park, which will prove to be incredibly valuable at hitter-friendly Yankee Stadium. Rodón joins Gerrit Cole to spearhead one of the best frontto-back rotations in the MLB, and the two aces are backed up by 2022 All-Star Nestor Cortés Jr., Luis Severino, and Domingo German.

In addition to their dominant starting pitching, the Yankees have long been known for having one of the best bullpens in the league. The second half of 2022 was tainted by injuries to closer Clay Holmes and the dominant Mike King, who both expect to return in 2023. The bullpen is bolstered by the addition of Tommy Kahnle, who

a one-year, $14.5 million deal to avoid arbitration, keeping their first baseman until the end of the 2024 season.

For McNeil, it was a bounce-back season. After a disappointing 2021 campaign, McNeil shifted his approach by staying disciplined as well as trying to beat the shift whenever he could in an attempt to get on base more often.

His 0.326 batting average led the MLB last season, ultimately winning him his first Silver Slugger award. A four-year, $50 million contract will keep the prized second baseman in Queens until 2026, locking down another piece of the Mets’ star-studded infield.

Yankees

While the left side of the Yankees’ infield struggled in 2022, the right side was locked down by second baseman Gleyber Torres and first baseman Anthony Rizzo. Torres showed a return to

priority of the team was resigning their home-grown outfielder, Brandon Nimmo. The 29-year-old has always shown promise with the bat and getting on base, but his health as well as his defense were huge liabilities. In 2020, in terms of outs above average (OAA), Nimmo was second-to-last amongst 39 center fielders, as he struggled to make some routine plays. However, 2022 was a huge year for Nimmo on both sides of the game. The seven-year veteran, who had only played over 100 games in a season once, played 151 in 2022, while putting up great numbers offensively. Nimmo finished with career highs in hits and RBIs and consistently got on base through walks as the leadoff man. He showed remarkable strides in defense, as he finished in the top third of center fielders in OAA. His best play in the field this season came against

the Mets’ farm system: catcher Francisco Alvarez and third baseman/outfielder Brett Baty. The Carlos Correa saga saw Baty’s future third base job at risk, but with the deal falling through, the organization will turn to the likes of their young prospect. Baty was called up in the middle of the 2022 season, where he hit a home run in his first major league at-bat. However, his success in the majors was short-lived, as he struggled to showcase his bat-toball abilities and his power within the first few months professionally. An everyday role at third base will look to help the 23-yearold adapt to the major leagues. After a long run of being dubbed as the number one prospect in the game, Alvarez was called up in the midst of the Mets’ division title race against the Braves. Placed immediately into the spotlight, the 21-year-old’s performance was underwhelming, as he only had two hits in 14 plate appearances: a home run and a double. Despite his slow start to his MLB career, there is still no doubt that the young catcher’s bat will wake up sooner or later, having a noticeable impact on the team for this season and the seasons to come. It’s only a matter of time.

Yankees

After a 13-year contract with the San Francisco Giants fell apart due to a failed physical, All-Star shortstop Carlos Correa agreed to a 12-year, $315 million contract with the Mets. The future of the infield with Correa had looked promising with Puerto Rican World Baseball Classic teammates Correa and Francisco Lindor covering the left side of the infield and National League batting champion Jeff McNeil and slugger Pete Alonso manning the right. However, the Correa era in New York lasted for just two weeks when the team’s physicians also raised concerns over Correa’s ankle, ultimately leading up to his return with the Twins.

Although the Mets couldn’t land Correa, they reached a contract extension with their second baseman, Jeff McNeil, and avoided arbitration with their slugger first baseman, Pete Alonso. The 2022 season saw Alonso dominate offensively, finishing with 131 RBIs and leading the league. Alonso also took significant strides in defense, and his improvements resulted in a top 10 finish in MVP voting. Both sides reached an agreement of

filed for different contracts, they avoided arbitration by settling on a one-year, $9.5 million deal.

Rizzo became a free agent after his 2022 campaign, but he was quickly re-signed on a twoyear, $40 million contract with an option for a third season. Rizzo’s Yankees career has been excellent, and his lefty power allows him to take advantage of the short porch in right field. He tied his career-high 32 home runs in 2022 while posting a 0.817 OPS and providing consistent defense at first base.

Rizzo and Torres will be rejoined by the injured DJ LeMahieu, who avoided surgery in the offseason due to his lingering toe injury. LeMahieu won the firstever utility Gold Glove in 2022, providing plus defense at first, second, and third base. His defensive versatility and offensive consistency will be a significant boon to the Yankees’ infield when he eventually returns.

Winner: Mets

3: Outfield Mets

With outfielders Mark Canha and Starling Marte already locked up for the next season, the top

season on October 4, 2022, passing Roger Maris for the American League single-season home run record. Judge was named the 2022 American League MVP after having one of the best offensive seasons in baseball history.

Yankees fans had a brief scare when baseball writer John Heyman tweeted that “Arson Judge” had signed with the Giants; the announcement was inaccurate, and Heyman quickly retracted his comment. Soon after, it was announced that Judge had re-signed with the Yankees on a nine-year, $360 million deal. The Yankees also announced that Judge would be the 16th captain of the Yankees, an honor last bestowed to Derek Jeter. Judge has always played great defense in right field, and last year he played center field as well. His bat is his biggest weapon for the Bronx Bombers, and even a recession from last season would be a great benefit to any team.

Winner: Yankees

4: Incoming Prospects Mets

The 2023 campaign will likely feature the top two prospects in

The Yankees have a wealth of talent in their farm system, and fans got a taste of the future of the team last year with Oswaldo Cabrera and Oswald Peraza. Cabrera, a utility player, debuted in August of 2022. He stayed on the major league team for the rest of the 2022 season and had a great season with the glove and the bat. He played an impressive six positions in 44 games and showed defensive promise in both the infield and the outfield. As a switch-hitter, he provides offensive versatility and has displayed power from both sides of the plate (though the left looks slightly better). He also displayed solid contact at both a major- and minor-league level, batting 0.247 in the MLB last season. Cabrera is expected to be on the Opening Day roster and possibly start in left field.

The second rookie to debut last year was Peraza, a righty shortstop. Peraza was widely recognized for his defense in the minors and consistent hits for contact at a high level. He batted 0.259 in AAA last year and had 15 hits in 49 major-league at bats. Peraza is expected to be called up to the majors early in the 2023 season, where he can replace a struggling Isiah Kiner-Falefa at shortstop.

The Yankees also have the MLB’s fourth-best prospect in Anthony Volpe, another shortstop currently in AAA. Volpe is recognized as a five-tool talent with incredible defense, power, and speed. He has consistently impressed while moving up through the minors and adapted quickly to AAA last year. While Volpe is unlikely to join the team before the All-Star break, he could come up in the event of injury or struggling players and will definitely be an exciting piece of the Yankees future.

Winner: Yankees have more reliable success, but the Mets have a higher ceiling.

Phoebe Buckwalter / The Spectator

By KHUSH WADHWA, KAEDEN RUPAREL, and AVA QUARLES

For the second time in four years, Patrick Mahomes has led the Kansas City Chiefs to a Super Bowl victory. The reigning Super Bowl MVP played through injury in a near-perfect game to defeat the Philadelphia Eagles on February 12, 2023. Favored by 1.5 going in, the Eagles led at halftime but were the victims of a raging fourth-quarter Andy Reid offense, ultimately falling as the Chiefs posted three consecutive touchdown drives to close out the game. This year’s Super Bowl was a testament to the ability of each superstar quarterback to completely take over a game, and neither team failed to deliver in what will undoubtedly be one of the best Super Bowls of the 21st century.

Although the Chiefs’ defense was crucial in leading them to the Super Bowl, the Eagles swiftly marched down the field on their opening drive. Quarterback Jalen Hurts’s approach was efficient and effective, leading the Eagles to an early touchdown. However, the Chiefs’ offense responded accordingly, with a dominant drive resulting in a touchdown catch for star tight end Travis Kelce. The Chiefs’ defense slowly regained their footing and turned an offensive pass interference into a four-and-out on the Eagles’ next drive. This was followed by another dominant Kelceled drive, which ended in kicker Harrison Butker hitting the uprights and missing the ensuing field goal attempt.

NFL Soccer

The second quarter was a fast-

A Game for the Ages

paced plethora of offense that began with more blunders from the Chiefs’ defense, as they allowed Hurts time to find wide receiver A.J. Brown downfield, quickly moving down the field with an exquisitely timed pass. The Eagles regained the ball on a controversial non-call, but Hurts dropped the ball during the drive, allowing Chiefs linebacker Nick Bolton to recover the fumble for a touchdown to tie the game.

The offensive surge continued when

these teams’ seasons was on full display, and there was little doubt that viewers were witnessing two of the best quarterbacks in the game. The Chiefs’ defense, which had been tested and proven up to this point, was no match for Hurts’s otherworldly vision. Meanwhile, Mahomes continued his streak of unparalleled dominance and kept his composure in a game that had practically everyone else’s emotions racing.

his Chiefs to a 28-27 lead over the Eagles. After Mahomes’ dominance, none other than ex-New York Giant wide receiver Kadarius Toney ran an Eagles four-and-out punt back for a massive return, putting the Chiefs in an ideal position to extend their lead to 35-27.

Battling a now-dominant Chiefs defense and the clock, Hurts sent his squad downfield with just under six minutes to play. Another efficient drive ended in Hurts running into the endzone to cut the lead to 35-33, which he followed up with a powerful cut through the Chiefs’ defense to tie the game. Hurts’s incredible drive and two-point conversion left fans everywhere in disbelief, as the dynamic offensive strategies of both teams were a refreshing sight compared to last year’s defensiveoriented Super Bowl. The final minutes of the game were shaping up to be some of the most dramatic moments in a Super Bowl since the Seattle Seahawks’ disastrous loss to the New England Patriots in 2014.

the Eagles converted on consecutive fourth-downs en route to a touchdown, followed by a field goal to bring in halftime with a 24-14 lead. With the Chiefs’ defense’s inability to limit Hurts’s dominance and quarterback Mahomes seemingly reaggravating his high ankle sprain just before the half ended, many fans eagerly anticipated an Eagles victory.

The first half was among the most exciting starts to a Super Bowl in recent history. The vibrant offense that characterized both of

By AHMED RADWAN

After a glittering career lasting over a decade, Welsh soccer icon Gareth Bale has hung up his boots and is retiring at 33 years old. Regarded as one of the greatest footballers in Welsh history, Bale made a name for himself with his lightning speed, silky dribbling, and spectacular goals.

In his announcement, Bale reflected on his journey and expressed gratitude to all those who helped shape his career. “I feel incredibly fortunate to have realized my dream of playing the sport I love. It has truly given me some of the best moments of my life,” Bale said. He went on to acknowledge the impact of his former clubs, managers, coaches, and backroom staff, as well as his dedicated fans, friends, and family.

Bale began his professional journey at Southampton and became the second youngest player to play for the senior team before moving to Tottenham Hotspur in 2007, where he rapidly rose to prominence as one of the top wingers in the Premier League. At Tottenham, he evolved from his role as a left-back to a left-winger, adding attacking quality to a rising Spurs side. His quality won him respect from the Spurs faithful, but it took only one picturesque goal to make him an international icon.

Tottenham traveled to the San Siro on October 20, 2010 to play Inter Milan in the Union of European Football Associations Champions League group stage. It could not have started worse for the North London side, who found themselves down 3-0 within 14 minutes and playing with 10 men, as their goalkeeper was sent off

After Rihanna shocked the world with a rather spectacular announcement of her pregnancy amidst a captivating performance, the teams returned to the field for the second half. The Chiefs methodically cut the lead to three, and they nearly took the lead when Bolton ran another fumble back for a touchdown until the catch was called incomplete. The Eagles capitalized on the call to add another field goal, but Mahomes responded with another precise touchdown drive, leading

The Chiefs rushed downfield quickly thanks to a few bullets and designed runs from Mahomes, finding themselves at third and eighth. Yet a defensive holding call against Eagles cornerback James Bradberry, where he faintly clutched the shirt of Chiefs wide receiver JuJu SmithSchuster, provided the Chiefs with a new set of downs, sparking intense controversy among viewers everywhere. Philadelphia fans were infuriated that such a monumental decision had been made on a close call, but Bradberry later attested to the fact that it was, in fact, the correct call. Regardless, Eagles fans were outraged at the timing and the

Goodbye to the Welsh Cannon

due to an early and violent challenge. Tottenham were down 4-0 at halftime; it appeared as if there was nothing left for Tottenham to salvage. However, Bale scored early in the second half, flying past the Milan defenders on the wing. Though it was a beautiful goal, it seemed to be a mere consolation. But in the final few minutes, Bale scored another goal, a near-perfect replica of what he scored earlier in the half. Then another one, making the score 4-3and mirroring the speed at which they went down.

To the displeasure of Tottenham fans, however, the comeback was cut short by the final whistle, but the talk around Bale surged. His ability to score from long range and freekicks earned him the nickname “The Welsh Cannon.” Securing his spot in the starting 11, he won the Premier League Player of the Year award in the 2012-13 season, cementing his status as one of the best in the world, among the likes of Cristiano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi. In 2013, Bale made headlines when he joined Spanish giants Real Madrid for a worldrecord transfer fee at the time of €101 million.

At Real Madrid, Bale made an instant impact, helping the team win the Copa Del Rey and La Decima—Real Madrid’s 10th Champions League title—in his first year at the club. Not only did he help them win those competitions, but he also scored a goal in both finals.

In the Copa Del Rey final, Real Madrid was plagued with injuries, most notably with star forward Cristiano Ronaldo, leaving Bale to carry most of the burden in the attack. The expectations for Real Madrid’s “El Clásico” against Barcelona were low with the absence

of their main man, but Bale took the opportunity to prove his worth in this monumental match. With under six minutes left of play in regulation, Bale ran the length of the pitch at a top speed of 21.54 miles per hour and scored the winning goal, earning his first trophy for Los Blancos. During his eventful stint in Madrid, he won five Champions Leagues and three La Liga titles. He became a Madrid legend when he scored a spectacular bicycle kick in the 2018 Champions League final, the most iconic goal ever scored in a Champions League final and the first by a Welshman. Bale was a defining figure of the Real Madrid front three, consisting of himself, Karim Benzema, and Cristiano Ronaldo, one of the most dangerous attacking trios in the history of the game.

Despite his success in Spain, Bale’s relationship with Real Madrid crumbled as repeated injuries, paired with his deteriorating relationship with manager Zinedine Zidane, saw him spend more time on the bench than on the pitch. When he did play, he averaged a goal or assist every 109 minutes, which was stellar to every standard except Madrid’s. Bale’s lack of playtime led him to decrease prioritization on club competition. The Spanish media did not take kindly to this, and the oncerevered Bale faced disrespect from Madrid’s fans. Bale only fueled the fire by posing with a flag that read “Wales. Golf. Madrid. In that order,” symbolizing the growing divide between the two parties.

He returned to Tottenham on loan for the 2020-21 season, where he helped the team reach the Round of 16 in the Europa League. In the twilight of his ca-

consequence of the flag, which has been a topic of thorough discussion across the nation.

Revived by this, the Chiefs were able to run down the clock and kick the game-winning field goal, leaving just eight seconds to play. A lastsecond heave into the deep from Hurts came up significantly short of any receivers, and the Chiefs were crowned Super Bowl LVII Champions in tantalizing fashion. Though Reid effectively used every tool in his playbook to minimize the Eagles’ chance at a comeback, the time-wasting to field goal strategy proved to be a tormentingly anticlimactic finish to what was an otherwise phenomenal Super Bowl. Each quarterback’s remarkable skill set was clearly seen in their sublime field vision and breathtaking deep throws. While Mahomes was undoubtedly the deserving MVP who overcame a resilient Eagles defense, credit must be given to Hurts for keeping his team until the final second.

This Super Bowl was nothing but a nail-biter—one moment without your eyes on the screen could mean missing a game-changing play. But in the end, the Chiefs take home another ring, with a team primed to compete again next year. For Eagles faithfuls, falling short of the title does nothing to outweigh the spectacular regular season they had, with young star Hurts representing the franchise’s newfound hope. Though competition will be fierce next season, both the Eagles and Chiefs should be applauded for their efforts in putting together a riveting Super Bowl that will certainly go down in history.

reer, he made a move to Los Angeles Football Club (LAFC) in the MLS, marking the end of his European career. After all, he had won all there was to win in Spain. In his time at LAFC, he helped the team win the MLS Cup, scoring the equalizing goal in the final and winning on penalties. At the international level, he led the Wales international team to the semi-final at the Euros in 2016 and, in 2022, their first World Cup appearance since 1958.

Though his career was tainted

by fallouts with the Spanish media and managers, Bale will be remembered as one of the greatest Welsh soccer players of all time, with a career full of incredible achievements, spectacular goals, and memorable moments. In an era featuring some of the greatest players in football history, Bale is often not given enough respect in spite of his incredible career. Regardless, millions of fans across the globe will never forget the joy and inspiration he brought to the sport of football.

SPORTSBEAT

For the first time in 20 years, the boys’ varsity basketball team, the Stuyvesant Storm, made it to the quarterfinal round of the Manhattan Borough Championships.

The boys’ swim team, the Pirates, finished the season undefeated and ranked the number one seed in the PSAL playoffs.

The girls’ table tennis team won the PSAL Championship and remained undefeated all season.

The Kansas City Chiefs defeated the Philadelphia Eagles 38-35 in Super Bowl LVII, earning Mahomes and the Chiefs their second ring in four years.

In a couple blockbuster trades that rocked the league, the Brooklyn Nets traded Kyrie Irving to the Dallas Mavericks and Kevin Durant to the Phoenix Suns.

Tom Brady announced his official retirement from the NFL and is now to become a football analyst for FOX starting 2024.

LeBron James broke Kareem Abdul-Jabbar’s all-time NBA scoring record of 38,387 points on February 7, 2023.

With a championship season in mind, the New York Liberty signed Breanna Stewart and Courtney Vandersloot to join the recently-acquired former MVP Jonquel Jones.

Gabirel Gutierrez / The Spectator