Volume 113 Issue 11

The Spectator

The Stuyvesant High School Newspaper

Volume 113 No. 11

Cocaine Bear: It’s Exactly What It Sounds Like

March 17, 2023

OPINIONS

What’s in a DNA Test?

With the growing popularity of ancestry tests, it is important to keep in mind that the results don’t completely define your ethnic identity and that there are deeper factors in play.

see page 11

stuyspec.com

SING! Coverage starts on page 12

Personal Finance: A Semester Later

By KEVIN CHAN, ALLISON ZHAO, ANDY LAU, ELAINE WONG, JUNI PARK , and SHARON ZHOU

Since the introduction of Stuyvesant’s Personal Finance senior elective, the widely popular class taught by mathematics teacher David Peng has been annualized due to high student demand for a year-long mathematics elective, which allowed for the addition of a wider range of financial topics to the curriculum. The class was originally created following a Spectator article written by senior Anisha Singhal in January 2021, titled “Calculus Before Checkbooks?” Soon after its publication, Peng met with Principal Seung Yu and Assistant Principal of Mathematics Eric Smith regarding the potential implementation of the course, which became official in the 2021-2022 school year.

As a result of the transition from a one-semester to an annual course, Peng now has more flexibility with the curriculum, allowing him to reinstate previously removed topics. “When I first taught [the class], I focused quite a bit on career readiness, interview skills, [and] building resume[s], [but] I took that out after the first semester,” Peng said. “Now that I have a year to teach this course [...], I can reintroduce [the] topics I’ve cut back.”

While many other courses

implement a highly weighted final assessment, the Personal Finance elective gives hands-on projects throughout the year to reflect students’ own financial interests. At the end of the fall semester, students are required to submit a

ang said.

Students have also used their knowledge to interpret real-life global occurrences. In a project on insurance, senior Rifah Elahi was able to connect her findings to a recent flood in Florida. “[Follow-

NEWSBEAT

and applying for a credit card,” senior Eileen Lin said. “I didn’t really learn anything [from] my meetings [with the banker] because I had already learned it in Peng’s class.”

In terms of the overall learning experience, students have noted Peng’s efficient pacing of the class. “The pace has been really good. It’s definitely a lot slower so we can all absorb the material very nicely and [Peng’s] lessons are very helpful in the sense that we go over each concept with a lot of detail,” Singhal said.

Peng hopes that the class will ultimately allow students to build a stronger understanding of finance and apply their knowledge to make smart decisions in their personal lives. “They have that knowledge now, and they have the confidence that they’re going to enter the world without not knowing what they need to do in order to be financially independent,” Peng said.

The Stuyvesant Muslim Student Association won first place in the Muslim Interscholastic Tournament in New York, which took place from February 24 to 26.

The annual SING! production took place from March 2 to 4, with Soph-Frosh SING! winning for the first time in recent history.

A global climate strike took place on March 3 at Foley Square, with 15 participants from Stuyvesant.

short video, in which they provide an answer to a particular financial question they brainstormed throughout the year.

Researching their own questions allows students to apply their newfound knowledge to their personal financial habits. “There were a lot of spending habits that I had before entering the class that I now no longer have because I see how important it is to save the money for [more valuable] things in the future,” senior Ruoting Ji-

ing a] flood that happened in Florida [...], many people [didn’t] have flood insurance so they lost what they had permanently,” Elahi said. “So it’s really important to read your insurance contract correctly.”

The class also provides students with vital life skills, which help them meet important financial milestones. “When I signed up for my first credit card when I turned 18, I met with a banker and she told me that she was impressed with what I knew about debit cards

Since the elective’s inception, Peng’s class has contributed to broader grass-roots movements pushing for more personal finance classes in schools. “There’s a lot of articles from Chalkbeat [and] City Limits that talk about this course and the need to have personal finance classes as a core curriculum across all of the schools. It’s pretty cool to kind of see that something we’ve kind of started out locally at

continued on page 2

The annual Stuyvesant International Women’s Day Run was held during 10th period and after school from March 8 to 10.

Juniors Rebecca Bao, Theodore Landa, Elijah White, and Eric Zheng were chosen to participate in the International Mathematical Modeling Challenge after their exceptional performance in the High School Contest in Mathematical Modeling.

A review of Cocaine Bear, based on the true story.

Personal Finance: A Semester Later

continued from page 1

home [...] is starting to get a little more attention,” Peng said. “I’m [personally] involved in that movement because I’m pushing to have this course advertised so that other schools can see what we are doing and kind of mimic what we do.”

In coordination with her initial campaign for the Stuyvesant class, Singhal has also been doing her part to promote the movement for more financial literacy classes. “The personal finance class has definitely lived up to my expectations,” Singhal said in a follow-up e-mail interview. “I’ve continued promoting the movement for personal finance by reaching out to newspapers to cover the class and

promote a bill in the NY Senate that would make a financial literacy class a statewide mandate.”

As a result of the class’s skyrocketing popularity at Stuyvesant, it has overflowed the capacity of its two sections. “I do have students audit [...] and some students have sat in the entire semester auditing and have nothing to show for it on their transcript,” Peng said. “They’re there because they want to learn, and the demand is pretty high. Every semester I get e-mails from students asking to audit, and usually I don’t turn them down.”

Despite the high demand for the Personal Finance class, it currently cannot be expanded due to logistical issues. “The hard thing about expanding an elective

is when you expand, it’s not in a vacuum. You have to consider what you’re cutting in order to expand it, and usually the cut is AP classes, which is something that, in this school, [no] one wants to do,” Peng said.

Regardless, Peng hopes that the elective will continue to grow in scope, but he wants students to help lead the change. “I want the students to be the voice that leads this change and not myself,” Peng said. “I want [the students’] voices to shine, [and for them] to be the loudest among everything because they’re the ones who are benefiting from this. At the end of the day, if the students really want this course, they have to be the ones that actively push for it.”

Black at Stuyvesant Development Day Talk

By SARAH DIAZ

Stuyvesant hosted a professional development talk on race on February 8, which was meant to address the issue of creating an environment in which all are welcome. This talk was given during a full faculty meeting consisting of 155 teachers, and was organized by College Office Counselor Dr. Jeaurel Wilson and junior, Student Union Vice President, and Black Students League Vice President Amanda Cissé with presentations from junior John Chandler and senior Nyarai Masoni.

To organize the presentation, Cissé was first approached by English teacher Maura Dwyer about leading the talk, with inspiration from alumna Shivali Korgaonkar’s (‘21) talk in 2022. Cissé made slides regarding the Black experience at Stuyvesant and reached out to Chandler and Masoni to speak, while guidance counselor Dr. Jeaurel Wilson made slides with information from her doctorate about culturally sensitive education.

In particular, the presentation focused on Culturally ResponsiveSustaining Education (CR-SE), as well as Culturally Responsive Practices (CRP). CR-SE was first imple-

mented in 2018 and is a program that emphasizes the importance of acknowledging cultural differences, using CRP to achieve this goal. CRSE contains six framework briefs: “What is Culturally Responsive-Sustaining Education?,” “What is the Culturally Responsive-Sustaining Framework?,” “What do students gain when culturally responsivesustaining education guides our education system?,” “Why should schools focus on the cultures of their students?,” “What are the four principles of the Culturally Responsive-Sustaining Framework?,” and “How does implementing CR-S improve your school community as a whole?.”

The presentation also emphasized the challenges with creating a “gifted-and-talented” curriculum for students of color, seeing that gifted-and-talented programs often prioritize a rigorous curriculum over educating students with respect to their culture. “According to research, gifted education focuses on academic excellence at the expense of equity; therefore, gifted students are often not educated in a culturally responsive manner,” Wilson said in an e-mail interview. “The lack of [students of color] represented in gifted programs can cause

long-lasting, devastating effects for them both social-emotionally and in college and career planning.”

Later on, Cissé, Chandler, and Masoni gave a presentation on the nature of being Black at Stuyvesant. The students highlighted stories from Cissé’s @blackatspecialized Instagram account to testify to the experience, with quotes such as “I lost the accent I had in middle school because I was worried people would call me ghetto / uneducated / unprofessional and sometimes I don’t even recognize the way I talk anymore.” While few have experienced explicitly racist or hostile incidents, many Black students have experienced microaggressions from their friends or peers. “A lot of students say a lot of microaggressions about Black students and that isolates a lot of Black students,” Masoni said. “[Through the presentation], they could learn about how they could improve their language; what they say about [Black] students that could isolate them.”

The students also highlighted a survey conducted by The Spectator in October 2022, which found that students who identified as Black or Hispanic agreed with statements like “I have felt uncomfortable at my Specialized High School because

Senior Kathleen Zhang Named Scholar For Regeneron Science Talent Search

By JUDY NAMKOONG , ANDREW LIU, UMA SUKHU, and AARYA BALAKRISHNAN, with additional reporting by Ziying Jian

Senior Kathleen Zhang was selected as one of the 300 scholars in this year’s Regeneron Science Talent Search (STS) on January 10 for her project “Temporal Regression Method for Removing Hemodynamic Signal During Wide-Field Fluorescent Imaging of Epileptiform Activity.” Each year, STS invites student competitors to submit original research in important areas of scientific and mathematical study. Beginning in 1942, STS has encouraged students to develop ideas to solve societal problems, ranging from climate change to significant illnesses. At Stuyvesant, STS has become an opportunity for students to present their research interests and compete for awards of up to $250,000.

Zhang’s project focused on epilepsy and its effects on the brain through mathematical methods and

WORLDBEAT

Biden released his $6.8 trillion budget on March 9, which includes new social programs and increased taxes.

A group of four Americans were kidnapped in Matamoros, Mexico, on March 6. There were two survivors, with the other two victims declared dead.

The United States’s economy remains in danger of defaulting on its debt over the summer of 2023 due to a continuation of the debt fight that began over the course of several days from January 25 to February 4.

An explosion on February 25 during a foot race in western Cameroon injured 19 athletes who are currently being treated for their wounds.

of my racial or ethnic background” to a much greater extent than White or Asian respondents. Through this, Cissé wanted to uplift the experiences of Black students at Stuyvesant. “By spreading awareness, you can create a general mindset shift that helps with people’s implicit biases because the changes made now create new changes for Stuy students [in the future],” Cissé said.

To do so, they demonstrated the best ways to teach students about race. These included teaching appropriate language, showing the full truth of all events, and having one-on-one conversations with students who feel uncomfortable. Following the presentation, many teachers have already incorporated these practices into their classroom.

“I had one of my friends text a screenshot of her teacher e-mailing her saying ‘This is what [they] talked about at the presentation; what can we do to support you?’,” Cissé said.

“[Additionally], [mathematics teacher David] Peng is adding a history of discrimination in finance to his personal finance curriculum.”

Along with changes specific to Stuyvesant, the presentation may also have an effect on the wider New York City high school system.

“[English teacher Annie Thoms],

who sits on Beacon’s [parent-teacher association], is working with their diversity, equity, and inclusion team to give our presentation to them, so it’s actually spreading to other schools now,” Cissé said. While the talk has already had a large impact on the Stuyvesant community, many presenters were incredibly nervous about presenting in the first place—partly due to a miscommunication regarding the scale of the event. “When I first got to the staff meeting, I thought it was just going to be a few staff members; I didn’t realize it was going to be the entire staff,” Masoni said. “It was on stage in front of the entire staff and it was very shocking and very scary to do because I am not the best on stage.”

Ultimately, however, organizers felt the presentation was worth the nerves, and helped to achieve their goal of providing tangible resources to support the Stuyvesant Black Community. “The [@blackatspecialized Instagram account and Spectator article] create awareness of what the issue [is] at school [...] but [don’t] actually tell teachers how they can help. This presentation [emphasized] that there was a problem, but here’s what you can do [in support],” Cissé said.

data analysis. As with all scientific research, she experienced setbacks during her journey. Since she was unable to join the Regeneron class at Stuyvesant, she could not access the research opportunities it offered; instead, she had to seek out her own.

“I think it’s very hard to start a project on your own with no background [and] no resources,” Zhang said. She reached out to professional scientists and mentors to guide her project, working closely with science teacher Jason Econome. Zhang began her research journey by searching for laboratories online, where she soon came across a list of establishments specializing in her research area. Due to her interest in neuroscience, Zhang looked for laboratories that specialized in fluorescent data analysis of the brain. “The [Epilepsy lab at Cornell University Department of Neuroscience] really interested me because it [allowed me to] use my math background and apply it to this science topic. I’ve always been fascinated by the brain,” Zhang said.

Eventually, she found Dr. Hong-

tao Ma, who has been specializing in the mechanisms of epilepsy at Weill Cornell Medical College for almost 20 years. Zhang reached out to Dr. Ma because of his extensive research experience in mathematical models, computer programming, and optical pathway design. He helped Zhang by recommending specific mathematical projects for her to base her research on. “[Zhang] expressed her interest in my lab and sent her resume through e-mail. […] [Zhang] is a math expert and I assigned her a project to design a mathematical method for data analysis,” Dr. Ma said in an e-mail interview. “[She] discussed [her progress] with me routinely […] and [I] made sure she followed the right research direction.”

Zhang’s study required her to observe the brain undergoing epileptic activity. To observe this on a cellular level, scientists use widefield fluorescent imaging to stain the

Courtesy of Wikimedia Commons and NASA

Should Stuyvesant Continue to Distribute COVID-19 Test Kits?

“I definitely don’t think the threat of [COVID-19] has passed, speaking from a medical sense. I really should be taking a couple of tests and being more cautious, but I think the peak of [COVID-19] has passed. I think tests are still necessary but I think that [the administration] should tone it down to one per week. [However], I think it’s necessary and if you [don’t] use [the test], you give it to your friends, and if they don’t use it, give it to your relatives.” —Brandon Phiong, junior

“Technically, no, I don’t think it is [necessary]. But it’s a safe enough reminder [that] this thing is still prevalent. In theory, [COVID-19 tests are] not actually necessary, [but] in practice, it’s just a healthy reminder.” — Fishan Chowdhury, junior

By THE NEWS DEPARTMENT

“[Usually], I just stuff them in my locker. I have a bunch at home, so I have a collection at home and a collection here, [and] I use them sometimes. If someone close to me tells me to test I’ll test, [but] I have too many. [The school] gives them out but no one uses them.”

—Gabriella Vernik, sophomore

“They’re really helpful to me because I come from a pretty big family, and my siblings, who go to [different] schools, don’t get them. So, if we didn’t give out [COVID-19] tests so frequently, I wouldn’t have them. People are treating [COVID-19] as if it’s a thing of the past, [and] while it’s not as serious as it was during the first waves, it’s basically endemic now, so people shouldn’t keep it out of their mind entirely.” —Lillian Hu, senior

In order to further investigate this question, The Spectator conducted a survey with 129 respondents, in which an overwhelming 67.4 percent agreed that Stuyvesant should continue to give out COVID tests. However, fewer respondents seem to be consistently using the tests, with only 45.7 percent testing if exposed to COVID-19. Additionally, 58.9 percent of respondents have tested less recently than within the past month. Instead of using the tests, many students seem to gain comfort from storing them, with 26.4 percent of respondents keeping them in their locker and 19.4 percent storing them at home. Ultimately, the consensus for many students seems to be that the tests are useful, but are given in excess. “Since [the tests] are given so often, it is wasting school funding [as] the tests are often trashed or never used,” one survey respondent said.

“On a scale of one to 10, I would give [test distribution] a 10 because I think it is absolutely necessary. Some people can’t afford to get these tests because they are sold out everywhere and are resold for a really expensive price. For the school to provide them to students who actually need them, I think not only is it beneficial for the students but it’s also showing that the school actually cares about their students.” —Karen Chen, junior

“[The tests] make me feel reassured because I know that whenever I feel sick, I can test for [COVID-19]. I use it only when I’m sick or feel sick, or I just give them to my parents. [However], I think some [students] don’t care enough to take the tests because they just don’t want to miss out on a lot of things [after testing positive].” —Madison Li, freshman

“As someone that gets sick basically every three weeks, these tests are super necessary for me. However, since we’ve gotten so many [from school], I’ve been giving away the tests to charity.”

—Giridhar Bonu, senior

“I do think that [the tests are] a necessary precaution, because there is a chance that people will have to use all those tests. [COVID-19] could be spreading around the school. And so it’s important to make sure it doesn’t.”

—Jacob Lukose, sophomore

“I feel like [COVID-19] is kind of coming to an end or might become like the common cold where you get sick for a few days then recover. For my test kits, I put them away and use one every now and then.”

—Kristen Chou, freshman

“I think the tests are useful and are necessary; while I don’t use them too often, I do use them whenever I have a family notification of a case in case I have [COVID-19]. I don’t want to spread [COVID-19] to any of my friends or family; I just don’t want them to get sick [especially since] I also have some immunocompromised family members.” —Alice Dan, sophomore

Drumming into Black History Month with its Annual Dinner

By KEVIN CHAN, IVY HUANG, and LENNY METLISKY

Stuyvesant’s Black Students League (BSL) hosted the annual Black History Month dinner on February 9. This year, the dinner highlighted the theme of Black resilience both inside and outside of Stuyvesant. The dinner was filled with food, drinks, music, and dancing led by a guest drummer. It also featured guest speaker Kamau Ware, a longtime educator and the founder of Black Gotham Experience, who added to the conversation by stressing the need to address uncomfortable elements of Black history.

The event was made possible by the collaboration between BSL and the Stuyvesant administration. “[College counselor Jeaurel] Wilson, [school counselor Sandra] Brandon, [school counselor Undine] Guthrie, [school counselor Angel] Colon, [and Assistant Principal Casey] Pedrick [were a critical part of the event]. They handled catering, they bought decorations, [and] they invited the guest speaker to come,” junior and BSL Vice President Amanda Cisse said.

In particular, Stuyvesant’s Diversity Equity and Inclusion (DEI) committee was an instrumental part of planning the dinner in accordance with its goal of recognizing affinity groups at Stuyvesant. “[We are not just involved with BSL] and the Black History Month dinner. We actually had the Hispanic Heritage Month event, we’ve had the Spectrum event, we’ve helped with the Diwali event,” said Wilson, who cofounded the DEI committee. “Every other month it seems like we’re

celebrating another affinity group, [and] it’s one of the many things we’re trying to do in Stuyvesant.”

One of the main takeaways that leaders of the BSL wanted attendees to leave with was a greater understanding of the Black community. “I hope people, especially nonBlack people that came to the event,

definitely wanted people to leave the event with an open mind.”

In accordance with this year’s theme, BSL leaders presented different facets of Black resilience such as Black fashion, Black people in power, Black Stuyvesant students, and Black Stuyvesant alumni in order to recognize Black accomplishments

For many attendees, a major highlight of the event was the dance activity, in which the guest drummer demonstrated a simple African fourstep dance to student volunteers. Through this dance activity, attendees were able to experience a firsthand perspective of African heritage and better understand its influence

of the dance symbolized changes that the Black community hopes to see at Stuyvesant. “It was not just BSL and ASPIRA kids that were up there. I saw a White student, Asian students, and I think there were one or two South Asian students,” Colon said. “Even seeing a little bit of diversity in performing that dance [...] I think that was so beautiful. I would like to see more of that [in the future].”

Overall, many members of BSL were pleased with the number of non-Black attendees who chose to attend the dinner and participate in the dance. “Stage fright is real. And so it’s hard to go out there and perform in front of other people,” junior Jonathan Vasquez said. “The fact that everyone decided to learn a new dance, that was just nice seeing everyone trying to learn the culture with each other.”

Ferguson believes that Black History Month is a time to both commemorate Black history and discuss the future of the Black community, which emphasizes the need for this celebratory event. “Not only can Black History Month be a time to acknowledge what has happened in the past but [it can] also be able to set a foundation for the success and achievements of Black people in the future,” Ferguson said.

gained a sense of understanding for the students of color that are in this school [and] also Black people in general,” senior and BSL President Sukanya Ferguson said. “Since our theme was resilience, [the event] had to do with a lot of the adversity that Black people have faced, so I

despite the continued struggles that many Black people face. “[There needs to be] just a little more understanding and appreciation for Black culture in the light of everything going on in our country with the banning of books and police brutality,” school counselor Audra Parris said.

on modern culture. “Many people don’t understand that they’re culturally influenced by Black culture and putting that [in] the spotlight means that Black people get the spotlight that they need,” sophomore Fabiha Khan said.

Additionally, the unified nature

Ultimately, leaders of BSL felt that the engaging and interactive nature of the dinner allowed attendees to learn more about Black resilience throughout history. “After everyone saw the dancing, when everyone listened to the presentations, it all felt like people were hearing us out and listening to our voices, so hopefully that transcends beyond just my perspective and is exactly true,” Ferguson said.

Students gather in celebration of Black History Month

Courtesy of Reem Khalifa

Senior Kathleen Zhang Named Scholar For Regeneron Science Talent Search

nificantly impact fluorescence measurements over a broad spectrum of wavelengths.

based on Beer-Lambert’s Law. This law helps calculate how much light is absorbed by a sample and the inten-

chosen areas in individual cells with fluorescent molecules called fluorophores. When viewed through a filter that only admits certain wavelengths of light, specific areas of the brain are highlighted during an induced epileptic seizure for easy observation. However, the data obtained through fluorescent imaging experiments contain hemodynamic noise: changes in blood flow and oxygenation due to neurons becoming active in different regions of the brain. These signals can interfere with the accuracy of fluorescent imaging and cause changes in the absorption and scattering of light within cells, altering the amount of light that reaches and is subsequently emitted by the fluorophores. This can make distinguishing between true fluorescence signals and hemodynamic artifacts difficult. For instance, when hemoglobin absorbs light, its effects sig-

Previously, a common method to filter the hemodynamic noise was

sity of the light emitted by fluorescence, which is directly proportional

to the intensity of the incident light. However, the Beer-Lambert-based method does not remove all of the hemodynamic noise and thus leads to strange, paradoxical results.

In her effort to find a better method, Zhang uncovered the source of the problem with the BeerLambert method. The light signal carrying hemodynamic information was also carrying “DC noise”, otherwise known as direct current noise, which she discovered was the source of the strange results. Filtering the DC noise data further required a way to determine how much was present.

Zhang’s solution was to use a temporal regression, a type of statistical analysis that looks at how different variables change over time and relate to each other. It mathematically identifies relationships and trends among the variables. Experts use these models to make predictions and draw conclusions about similar data sets. Zhang built her model to plot fluorescence and hemodynamic

data simultaneously. The y-intercept of this regression is the noise that should be subtracted from the data; this subtraction removes the hemodynamic noise entirely.

Zhang’s knowledge of mathematical models, coupled with her understanding of the data she collected, created a new method—one that will generate more accurate readings of cells and advance the research and treatment of neurological disorders.

Ultimately, Zhang is proud of her accomplishments. She feels that this experience was beneficial to her because it allowed her to explore her interests in a practical and applicable way, giving insight into fields she may want to explore in the future. “I got into an area of math and [computer science] that I wasn’t into before,” Zhang said. “This is my first time diving into applied mathematics [and] applying it to real world issues. I definitely enjoy this a lot, and this is probably the direction that I would want to go in the future.”

Stuyvesant Science Olympiad Team Wins Regionals Competition

By SADAT AHMED and MADELINE GOODWIN

Stuyvesant’s Science Olympiad (SciOly) team won first place at the NYC South Regional Competition on February 4 against many other schools in New York City, including Townsend Harris High School, Staten Island Technical High School, and Brooklyn Technical High School. The competition was hosted by Grover Cleveland High School, and the SciOly team is now moving on to the state level.

SciOly competes on a regional, state, and national level. There are 23 events that students can choose from, each focusing on different fields of science like astronomy, cell biology, chemistry, and forensics. The team is split up into two sections: the build section and the study section. In the former, teams create a project or model for each of the five specific events, with competitors chosen based on their knowledge and dedication to science. In the latter, students compete by taking written science tests, with teams being built around competitors’ test scores and their potential to win medals. Members of both sections meet frequently to hone their skills for competitions.

The team has been preparing for regionals since October

through study sessions, lab work, and a series of invitationals. However, collaborative practice was the most effective preparation method for many members. “We usually like to work together and we like to be familiar with our events, so that involves event leaders teaching our members what’s potentially going

tions, assembling reference material was a crucial aspect of the planning process. In their binders, competitors compile the content they have studied to help them while taking tests. “Usually that information is really hard to remember, so it’s important to be familiar with your binder,” Liu said.

challenges. “My division is chemistry and it is a little different because we have labs on top of the tests,” senior and SciOly Chemistry Captain Hanson He said. “For our team, we asked [chemistry teacher Dr. Jeffrey] Kivi to use the advanced chemistry lab after school and we ran all of our experiments there.”

During the competition, SciOly also faced the challenge of changes to standard regulations. “At some events, their rules are completely different [from] what we were used to, so the way they run things and their specific guidelines [for] what you are allowed to bring and not allowed to bring we were subject to completely different rules from other competitions we’ve been in,” Liu said.

unpleasantly surprised by their final results despite originally feeling fairly confident about their performance at regionals. “[The Chemistry division] got second place for two of our events and third for the other,” He said. “We were a bit surprised [to not receive first place] because we medaled at every invitational before. [...] We got first in the Long Island Science Olympiad in chemistry, which was [at] the state level, and fifth in MIT, which was on a national level.”

to be on the test and the best strategies to be the most time-efficient,” junior and SciOly Vice President Jessica Liu said.

For binder events, in which competitors use notes and fact sheets to prepare for their competi-

In each section, members are split up into five different divisions: biology, physics, chemistry, earth science, and technology/engineering. Throughout their preparation for the competition, each division has experienced its own unique

Despite these ups and downs, many team members are satisfied with their success during this season. “We ha[d]n’t been doing the best throughout this year,” junior and SciOly member Eugene Guo said. “[At] Cornell, we [got] 12th in a 30-person competition [which] isn’t that good. We also did very badly on Long Island. I put so much effort into [regionals], so [beating] teams that were favored to win was the peak [moment] for me.”

However, other members were

After their success at regionals, competitors are continuing to work hard in an effort to maintain their winning streak for future competitions. At the state level, the top two teams qualify to compete at nationals. Last year, Stuyvesant took third place at states, ending their season. “This is our fourth year winning; we really just want to do well at states,” Guo said. “States is the next competition we have and it was basically where it ended last year.”

As much as SciOly members are nervous for the state competition, many have faith in the team’s success. “[States] will be on March 18 and, honestly, we are feeling very confident,” He said. “We usually don’t get first in every event [...], but we are super confident we can get a super high placing. We are aiming for first in everything.”

Stuyvesant Sophomores Receive a Presentation on Early College Awareness

By JUDY NAMKOONG and CHRISTINA WANG

This year’s early college awareness presentation for sophomores took place on January 23, the last day of regular classes for the fall term. The presentation took place in Lecture Halls A and B and were given by Director of College Counseling Jeffrey Makris, college counselor Dr. Jeaurel Wilson, and Assistant Principal of Pupil Personnel Services Casey Pedrick. College counselors have given these presentations since 2018, which were originally optional and conducted during Regents week but since last year have been mandatory and conducted during social studies periods.

The purpose of the college awareness presentation is to provide resources and information

to underclassmen so that they can be aware of the logistics of the college admissions process. “The [presentation] provides some basic information to help younger students better understand the college process and dispel some myths so that they are a bit more prepared for the road that lies ahead,” Makris said. “We also hope that students have a clearer picture regarding how our college counseling program works, who our expert college counselors are, and how students will work with us.”

This year, many new additions were made to the presentation due to students’ lack of knowledge regarding college fundamentals.

“Last year, we added substantially to the presentation as we realized too many of our students were unfamiliar with some of the basic distinctions that exist among colleges and universities, [like] community

colleges versus four year colleges, public versus private, liberal arts colleges versus research university settings,” Makris said.

Sophomores feel that the presentation covered a variety of significant topics pertaining to college admissions as well as immediate action students should take to both better their chances of getting into a top college and develop their personal hobbies, such as participating in extracurricular activities and finding programs that would allow them to further explore their interests. “I would definitely like to participate in more school activities,” sophomore Elizabeth Nef said. “I would like to empower both the community and myself, and by doing activities I enjoy, I will be able to continue [doing so].”

As they approach junior year, many sophomores find the infor-

mation presented more urgent compared to their perceptions from previous years. “[In the presentation, I] definitely felt more pressing information was given because last year, I don’t think I was motivated to take measures to prepare myself for college,” Nef said. “But this year, I felt like this was more imminent and important since we are getting closer to college applications.” Regarding future improvements, the college counselors would like to lengthen the duration of the presentation so that they can share important information with students and take questions from the audience. “Right now, it’s very much [a] lecture format where we are doing 90-95 percent of the talking, [but] it’d be nicer if we could do 80 percent of the talking [to provide] more opportunities for kids to ask questions,” Makris

said. “I would like to have a little more time, make it a little more interactive, and be able to take more questions from students.”

Ultimately, administrators hope that the presentation helps students find a college that is truly right for them while making the college application process a little less daunting. “This process should be less stressful and more fun for our students, who will be entering a very exciting time of their lives once they leave Stuyvesant, and will be happy and successful at any number of colleges,” Makris said. “Most importantly, finding a place that truly suits your interests, personality, learning style, and values is far more important than the perceived prestige of a college, and whether or not you will be successful in life has so much less to do with where you go to college than most of our families realize.”

Kathleen Zhang

Scioly places first at regionals

Courtesy of Joyti Nath

Courtesy of Mendy Zhou

By ADA GORDON and DANIELLA SOLOMON

Stuyvesant’s hallways are notoriously crowded, with each passing period bringing swells of students. Whether they are slumped on a bench for a quick nap, sitting on the floor completing homework, or talking to friends, students often choose random hallway spots to spend their free time. More intentionally placed are the bustling sophomore and senior bars, along with the junior and senior atriums, which provide the student body with designated socialization spots. But for those who crave a quieter oasis from school stress, there has always been an alternative hangout space: the English department room, commonly known as the English office. Home to student monitors and open to anyone who wants to drop by, the English office has been a student refuge from the clamor of the sixth floor.

A rule was put in place this school year that allows only three students to occupy the English office at a time. This rule has altered the room’s traditional use as a student hangout space. “It’s definitely changed the atmosphere there. Following the implementation of the new rule, every time I find myself in [the English office], it feels as though I’m intruding on the space, that I really shouldn’t be there,” Anonymous Senior A stated. “The English office wasn’t some place for students to party or go crazy like in other social places. Instead, it was like a safe haven for students that weren’t in love with hanging out in the sophomore or senior bar[s].”

The English office is very different from a typical Stuyvesant classroom or social space. A soft couch inhabits the back corner and a round wooden table occupies the adjacent space. This creates an environment in which students can comfortably work, talk, or eat lunch. Though the library is another quiet space for students to work in, it lacks the English office’s homey atmosphere. English teacher and aluma Annie Thoms

By HIFZA KALEEM, RHEA MALHOTRA, and ANKITA SAHA

Stuyvesant’s Social Spaces Dilemma

(‘93) described the room as a space for the student body. “You have students who are looking for other kinds of like-minded, really active

a hangout space, which both teachers and students are beginning to acknowledge. “It felt like another social space that students had taken

of their life at the sophomore bar. “I’ve been searching my whole life for that sense of home, and finally being able to experience it was a truly indescribable feeling. I cannot imagine my high school experience without spaces like this, and they truly are a hallmark of the essence of this school,” Pepsi H. explained. Stuyvesant’s shared spaces have fostered camaraderie and friendship for them, helping them navigate their high school experience.

readers and writers,” Thoms said.

“We do want to be a place that facilitates student-student connection.”

Though students view the English office as an asset to their Stuyvesant experiences, some teachers feel the presence of visitors has made it harder for them to hold one-onone meetings with students. “One of the other things that we need, as the English department, is a place for teachers to talk with students,” Thoms explained. She utilizes the English office to hold individual meetings with every student in her Writing to Make Change class, which is the room’s designated purpose. “I would come in [to the office], and I’d have to be like, ‘I’m so sorry, can you move all your stuff?’ Because I have had legitimate conferencing that I’ve had to do,” Thoms recalled. Additionally, she noted that some students prefer privacy when discussing coursework with teachers. “It’s not going to make them necessarily feel comfortable to have like, five upperclassmen listening in and eating their sandwiches,” Thoms elaborated. Private meetings between students and teachers cannot be conducted effectively in a room that doubles as

over,” Anonymous Senior A explained.

However, Thoms did recognize that there is a need for some students to spend their free time in the space. “We have amazing, wonderful student monitors who really help us out in the book room because […] in English, we’re constantly taking out books,” Thoms explained.

Thoms acknowledged the necessity of social spaces for every student. “I think that it’s very important for students to have in-person socialization,” Thoms explained. In a school as academically rigorous as Stuyvesant, forming strong peer connections can help students cope with stress, which is especially vital in the aftermath of the pandemic.

Junior Pepsi H. has found a space conducive to socialization just a few steps from the English office. They explained that helping purchase a Christmas tree for the sophomore bar connected them immensely with other students. “The amount of community effort I saw from people in both cases was incredible,” Pepsi H. said. They went on to say that they have actually had some of the best moments

Physics teacher and alumnus Jeffrey Wan (‘15) believes that socialization is also beneficial for academic growth. When his students struggle to grasp course material, he advises them to talk through problems with friends. Wan understands that students need to have an appropriate social space to do this. “It’s hard to work through the ideas unless you have a space that’s quiet, unless you have a space that doesn’t really have many distractions,” Wan explained. During his tenure as a Stuyvesant student, he often hung out in the Student Union room behind the senior bar, which has remained a place to spend free time. “I have a lot of good memories in that room […] [it was] definitely a positive experience [to be there],” Wan recalled.

However, Sophomore Sasha Murokh pointed out that students in hangout areas can be disruptive to the rest of the school. “Some of the social spaces, such as the sophomore bar, are pretty close to classrooms where teachers are trying to teach, rather than hear the sounds of a game of tag throughout the hallways,” Murokh explained in an e-mail interview. Murokh described the environment of the sophomore bar as “chaos.” However, Murokh does not think there are many other options for student socialization. “There really isn’t a way to fix this other than mutual cooperation to keep the noise levels to the minimum,” Murokh elaborated.

With concerns about the overpopulation of Stuyvesant’s social spaces comes a larger debate: are there even enough of them? Murokh believes that there are. “I feel

like there’s enough hallways, atriums, and bars that the student population can hang out in during frees and before [and] after school,” Murokh continued. “Besides, staircases are always available if anyone wants a more private space,” Murokh suggested. If Stuyvesant were to create more social spaces, however, she recommends something simple: more benches. “There are so many students sitting in the hallways by the walls, and teachers often reprimand them for blocking the halls. More benches would solve this problem,” Murokh explained.

Wan disagreed with the opinion that students have enough hangout spaces. When asked if the building offers adequate student socialization spots, Wan said, “No, probably not, because there’s like 3,500 of you.” The official social spaces—sophomore bar, junior atrium, senior atrium, and senior bar (as well as the slightly less official half floor for freshmen)—can only hold so many students each, and there are bound to be people that have to find somewhere else to hang out.

Thoms also believes that there is a lack of social spaces available to students. “It’s one of the main problems with this building,” Thoms added. During her own senior year, when the school moved to its current location, she realized that the building was limited in social spaces. “There’s […] a lot of empty space, but a lot of it is in places [where] it’s hard for people to socialize without disrupting classes,” Thoms clarified. There is no denying that social spaces are important at Stuyvesant, where students are faced with pressure from not only parents and teachers, but also from competitive classmates. Many students struggle to find a space that fulfills their emotional needs but is not disruptive to the classes or teachers around them. Stuyvesant’s building has the space to include more designated socialization spots for students, but initiative needs to be taken in order to transform these into usable areas. After all, even a few benches could make a big difference.

Trading Full Schedules for Empty Stomachs

After a long day at school, there is no greater relief than returning home. Finally, students can set their bags down, take a seat, and address their stomachs’ roaring grumbles—some days, that is. Oftentimes, Stuyvesant students find that their heavy workloads take priority over simple personal needs— including eating.

Freshman Veronika Gulko frequently falls into inconsistent eating habits. “Lunch is always varied. I can have lunch seventh period or I will have lunch at like 7:00 p.m. If my homework isn’t done, I won’t survive. If I don’t eat lunch for like a few hours, I’ll be fine,” Gulko explained. To Gulko, schoolwork takes precedence over her body’s needs. Though eating is a basic necessity in life, it can take the backseat when students are inundated with deadlines that seem more pressing. This feeds into a mentality where eating is not seen as a need but a time-consuming nuisance.

This mentality is prevalent among many Stuyvesant students. Sophomore Cindy Ye explained that studying for exams causes her to postpone meals. “So I actually had a chem[istry] test, and just after getting home on Monday, I was so incredibly worried that I just didn’t want to eat,” Ye said. When testinduced anxiety deterred her from eating, Ye claimed that her productivity increased. “I got to study at that time and be more productive

and get better sleep so this test could go better, and it did go better. But I did not eat well that day,” Ye explained. To some students, productivity outweighs hunger—a stance that can be quite dangerous. Several studies have proven that skipping meals results in a lack of energy and lower blood sugar levels, which can affect students’ moods. Conversely, eating can help improve focus, memory, and cognitive abilities.

Other students skip meals because school-related stress diminishes their feelings of hunger.

Freshman Leonardo Benitez described how recurring anxiety provokes this pattern. “If it’s like the morning of an exam, or if I’m nervous about a project or something, I find that I definitely have less of an appetite and even looking at food […] makes me kind of sick,” Benitez explained.

On the flip side, such anxiety can fuel stress eating. As students’ schedules become packed and meals become more inconsistent, many fall back on food as a form of comfort. “When I have a deadline far away, I stress eat in advance,”

freshman Rebekah Abraham said. Sometimes the anticipation of an immense workload can increase stress levels, which is scientifically proven to increase appetites; cortisol—the stress hormone—can cause cravings for sugary, salty and fatty foods.

This can make stress eating a health concern for some students.

Often, these cravings are limited to snacks rather than adequate meals.

“When I’m [going] home […] I’m

so hungry, but I know that I won’t find any good food spots within a 10-minute walk. So, I buy a bunch of snacks to hold me over for the hour and 30 minutes I’m on the bus, and I just end up snacking so much,” Gulko said. “It’s like empty calories. I don’t feel full, but like, I know I ate so much,” Gulko added. However, this so-called “junk food” can give students the boost they need to get through the day, which makes it hard to label it as inherently bad or unhealthy.

This is especially true since there is no one-size-fits-all with health; above all else, balance is key. Everyone has their own needs, which must be tailored around their unique schedules. After all, many students find that the length of their daily commute correlates with their after-school snacking habits.

Freshman Anita Wu expressed that her commute shortens the length of time she is at home, thereby reducing the timeframe she has to eat. “It takes me about an hour and a half to get to school, so I have to eat breakfast a lot earlier than I did in middle school. Additionally, extracurriculars and tutoring programs result in me eating dinner a lot later since I arrive home late, and I will try to finish my homework before I have dinner,” Wu explained in an e-mail interview.

In addition to lowering energy levels, skipping meals can take away from time with family and add to the isolation many Stuyvesant students feel when they are deep in work or studying. “I will sometimes eat with my family, but on the days where I have a lot of work to do, I

usually bring my food to my desk instead,” Wu said. She also commented, “I am a slow eater, so it takes a long time for me to finish eating, which makes it more of a chore if anything.” However, food is as much of a necessity in life as going to the bathroom or drinking water—it speaks to Stuyvesant’s high-pressure environment that this innate act is considered a chore.

Unfortunately, students often feel guilty for choosing to eat rather than work. “I’m thinking, ‘Hey, I should be studying right now,’ or ‘Hey, I should be doing something else.’ So I can’t end up eating,” Gulko said. “I feel bad about it, but at the same time, I understand that my grades matter to me a bit more than just eating.”

However, close friends and family discourage such mentalities and make sure students are keeping up with their nutritional needs. “I think that it became so widespread of our friends just reminding each other like, ‘Hey you should probably take a break,’ or ‘Drink some water,’ because like everybody knows that that’s what you need, and like nobody does it,” Gulko explained. While friends can play a vital role in students’ support systems, it seems that it is easier for students to counteract their friends’ unhealthy habits than counteract their own.

Other students prefer to hold themselves accountable for their eating choices. “I think I would also try to make myself eat because I know I have to eat. Otherwise, the next morning I’ll be so hun-

gry,” Abraham shared. Having the energy to power through can be arduous without sustenance. Without fuel, students cannot expect to have the energy to succeed. For some, however, it is difficult to maintain a consistent eating schedule, and understandably so— students have a lot on their plates, and they should never feel they have to pick between eating and enjoyable after-school activities. As Gulko explained, “I just try to balance it out to make sure that my meals are sometimes there.”

Part of this division of time involves students weighing what brings them joy. Freshman Tajree Tabassum described how she prioritizes spending time with friends. “School drains me a lot, so spending time with them during my lunch period […] is my time to relax and forget about classes,” Tabassum said. By making meals a social experience, students can reap the benefits of nutrition and relationship-building in the same sitting.

Ultimately, the Stuyvesant experience is only four years, but maintaining one’s health and well-being is a lifelong mission. Despite food being a necessity, it is frequently disregarded as an inconvenience due to how pressing academics seem. Ultimately, students’ grades will benefit from finding balance between academics, family, extracurriculars, and health. Through a re-evaluation of necessities and values, everyone is capable of finding a lifestyle that best suits their current needs and, above all else, brings them health and happiness.

Ori Mermelstein / The Spectattor

Stopping Hunger at Its Roots: The Food Security Club

By JULIA CHERNOBELSKY and ELAINE HUAN

Like many native New Yorkers, Stuyvesant students are used to witnessing the effects of homelessness and food insecurity as they pass those affected on the street every day. But for newcomers to the city, this quietly accepted reality can be a big surprise. “I moved here right before freshman year, and I saw many problems I had never seen before, like homelessness,” senior and founder of the Food Security Club Skai Nzeuton said. Nzeuton was especially bothered that welfare and support programs were not more effective in helping city residents break the cycle of homelessness and food insecurity. “I was extremely frustrated when I saw the same homeless person taking the train every day,” Nzeuton added. At the same time, he started to notice the absurd amount of excess food in the school cafeteria that was thrown out each week.

Nzeuton realized that he could donate this leftover food to different organizations, which would deliver it directly to underprivileged communities. He decided to found the Stuyvesant Food Security Club in order to harness the power of the student body in organizing food donations and deliveries. But before the club could recruit members, Nzeuton realized that he would need to forge partnerships with local organizations that would accept food from

the school. “I looked up a list of local organizations, and basically cold-e-mailed all of them,” Nzeuton explained. Finally, he received a response from Dan Zauderer, a middle school teacher who is the founder of the nonprofit Grassroots Grocery. Zauderer was motivated to start his own organization after discovering that only one in four New Yorkers without a sufficient food supply has access to a food pantry, where fresh,

tries to the people, a sentiment that is shared by the Stuyvesant Food Security Club. When Zauderer responded to Nzeuton’s e-mail, he was particularly interested in how Nzeuton planned to change the DOE’s rigid policies on food waste. “Zauderer himself had struggled to [work through inflexible systems], but on the outside world,” Nzeuton said. This was the part of the process where Nzeuton had to

lems [of food waste] first-hand,” Nzeuton recounted. Later, when he approached other faculty members, they were more inclined to approve his proposal because he already had a good idea of how he would carry out the club’s plans. By contacting more accessible people first, Nzeuton was able to get the permission he needed to begin operations.

“Initially our goal was to have members in all the boroughs, so they could drop food off on their way home, but we currently only have members from Manhattan,” Nzeuton said. He emphasizes that becoming a member is very lowcommitment. “We deliver three to four times a month and we only expect members to help deliver once each month,” Nzeuton elaborated in an e-mail interview.

free food is distributed to those in need. Grassroots Grocery works to combat this issue by establishing a network of volunteers bringing their neighbors fresh food in every borough. Volunteers serve their communities by helping out with everything from food pantries to sidewalk fridges. Grassroots Grocery’s goal, as stated on their website, is to bring the pan-

really think outside the box. He realized that many students fail at getting approval for their initiatives because they start talking to those with the most power right away. “I decided to go bottom-up. Instead of talking directly to Principal Yu, I first talked to one of my teachers, Dr. Greenwald, and then also the lunch ladies and the cook because they see the prob-

All of these logistical processes occurred before the Food Security Club was established last year. Now, it boasts more than 50 members who conduct weekly food drop-offs to several pantries across the city. “Every day, we collect food like fruits and vegetables at a table in the cafeteria [and] deliver it every Friday,” senior and co-president of the Food Security Club Ben Pan explained. The food is stored in cafeteria refrigerators so it stays fresh, and on drop-off day, a team of three to six club members makes the train commute to deliver it to a community fridge in need of restocking. So far, the club has delivered to six locations. “We also work with another organization called New York Food Pantry, so sometimes we just give them the food and they organize it,” Pan continued.

Though Nzeuton and Pan will soon graduate, they have taken steps to ensure that the Food Security Club lives on at Stuyvesant through its existing and new members. In line with their club charter, they will appoint a new pair of copresidents, who will in turn choose leaders for borough operations.

To help launch what they believe could be a city-wide movement, the club is raising awareness for high school students to volunteer at community fridges and pantries. “We are reaching out to other schools in the city and trying to expand our initiative,” Pan explained. The club has created a website, foodforallnyc.org, and an Instagram page that raises awareness about food insecurity and documents their operations.

An effective way the club has garnered support has been through promotions on different news networks, with the help of some of Zauderer’s connections. Over mid-winter recess, Nzeuton, Pan, and senior Max Gruber filmed an interview that aired on CBS. During the segment, they discussed their club, their partnership with Grassroots Grocery, and their goals for the future, hoping to inspire New Yorkers and Stuyvesant students to help their cause. Nzeuton concluded with a simple appeal to the viewer: “Getting involved is super easy, and it really doesn’t take a lot of time to help so many people.”

Courtesy of Ellen Lee

Food Security Club

SING!: Behind the Curtains

SING! is an annual inter-grade performance competition and quintessential Stuyvesant tradition that brings together friends, crews, and faculty alike. This year, SophFrosh made history with its first win ever. While this historical moment should have garnered more recognition, the Stuyvesant community, especially those in SING!, experienced increased internal tensions. We urge everyone to remember the initial values of SING!— fostering friendship and unifying students, not ravaging spirit.

SING! is known for its lack of transparency in the leadership selection process. Coordinators are selected by the Student Union (SU) President and Vice President, social studies teacher and Coordinator of Student Affairs Matt Polazzo, and the corresponding grades’ caucus presidents. However, most students in Stuyvesant have little to no insight into the SING! Coordinator selection process. With a trend of previous coordinators assuming the same position for their entire Stuyvesant careers, it further discourages potential applicants. Naturally, those who have held the position before have the most SING! leadership experience, but the Coordinator election should directly represent the student body. In order to promote fair competition, the SU should encourage more applicants, give more information to those interested, and provide transparency through every step of the selection process.

This lack of transparency is not only present in Coordinator selection but also in choosing certain directors and Slate, as SING! leadership tends to unilaterally select directorial roles without much discussion. “Usually we kind of just agree [on the chosen directors],” sophomore and Soph-Frosh Coordinator Rayen Zhou said. SING! leaders across all grades need to be far more open to the student body regarding how director positions are chosen. Similar to Coordina-

tor selection, few students apply, knowing that someone with prior directing experience will almost certainly assume the position. In addition, nepotism, to any extent, always tends to play a factor in selection. “This year, I tried my best to avoid nepotism, but it’s always bound to happen, in any grade,” Zhou said. As nepotism is more likely to occur if power is concentrated within a select few, it can be assuaged if addressed with systemic changes, such as if other leadership positions, like Slate, are chosen by the student body.

Another trend is insufficient communication between crews and Slate, despite inter-crew camaraderie being necessary to produce a cohesive show. For example, Sophomore and Soph-Frosh Executive Producer Grace Rhee said that making sure the band plays at the right tempo is one of her most important roles as producer, which can be challenging because “Every dance crew practices with a different audio recording while the band is practicing the songs first,” Rhee said. When it comes time for dance crews to perform with the band’s instrumentals, the difference in timing can be a big adjustment and create potential conflicts. Thus, coordinators and producers should be responsible for bridging the gap between crews by being present during rehearsals and making sure the transition to performing together is as seamless as possible. If those in leadership positions fail to foster this sense of togetherness, frustrations will transform into crews blaming each other for the outcome of the show.

Crews tend to see themselves as distinct entities from the rest of the production, when in reality, they are all integral parts of a greater whole. For instance, many assume that scriptwriters determine the show’s entire plot and direction. However, this is only partially true. Slate is also involved in the scriptwriting process and has the power to alter the script-

The Spectator

writers’ visions as they see fit. Senior scriptwriter Tiffany Liang explained, “It was around a week and a half after our first meeting that we actually had the script outlined because we kept going back and forth with Slate.” SING! crews are interconnected in countless ways, making it challenging to discern who is making major creative decisions. When crews fail to acknowledge this interconnectedness, they are unable to understand how decisions are being made and, therefore, may feel these processes are unfair, amplifying tensions. However, these divisions not only exist between crews but also between grades, despite a facade of encouragement and support. Following the Soph-Frosh win, a small group of seniors accused Soph-Frosh SING! of plagiarizing their script, which was leaked to Soph-Frosh from an insider. Though Soph-Frosh SING! had access to Senior SING!’s script, their script had already been finalized and approved 10 days prior. Soph-Frosh SING! did not break charter rules, and an investigation resolved the issue even before senior accusations emerged. These accusations were an attempt to minimize Soph-Frosh’s win, eroding the unity SING! strives to evoke. This poor sportsmanship is a new phenomenon, as prior to the pandemic, SING! scripts were often shared amongst grades; SING! still inspired competition, but it was healthy. This level of openness should still be upheld, regardless of the isolation the pandemic necessitated, as it is the participation and experience that members should look forward to.

Those looking ahead to the next SING! season should consider the underlying issues that were present. SING! policies should be reformed to promote equity and transparency by publicizing information regarding leadership selection processes and releasing the vote count for SING! themes. As for SING! Coordinators, they

By HELEN MANCINI

Rizz is one of the many words of our online generation. The New York Times recently defined it as “someone’s ability to flirt with and attract a potential love interest.”

Short for charisma, the term is relatively new, and when I first heard it floating around the Stuyvesant hallways, I found it to be very cringey. However, the more and more I heard it, the more I found myself using it when quoting others or conversing.

Now, with the help of targeted internet algorithms, the usage of slang has increased, pervading everyday interactions. Though some words and phrases become irrelevant after a few months, others end up in the dictionary, contributing to the ever-evolving nature of the English language. While this linguistic evolution is interesting, we also need to consider how new words reflect existing societal structures, and the rise of rizz calls for this deconstruction.

These past few months, many of my female friends and I began to notice a pattern. When we were talking to one of our male friends, guys from his sports teams and classes would call him “rizz god” or say “W rizz.” It is generally acknowledged that anyone can have “rizz,” regardless of gender identity, yet these instances seemed to reflect a cultural emphasis on straight-male rizz. Seeing one guy talking to a couple of girls clearly indicated to these passerbys that the guy had a talent for talking to women, enough to earn the title of “rizz royalty.” Though lighthearted, this response is odd for a few reasons. First, it is strange

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should be elected fairly and openly by the student body. Efforts should be made to expand the pool of applicants for SING! coordinators and producers, and a potential solution could be to limit their term to only one year. Currently, being

The Rizzlers and The Rizzled

that talking to women is regarded as a skill, considering they make up half of the population and, to my knowledge, do not speak a different language. Secondly, it places an uncomfortable and unrealistic heteronormative expectation on the interaction in question. My friend group continued to experience this until

it came to the point where we had to avoid our male friend’s friends in the hallways because, though it was funny, it never ended.

I soon learned that this phenomenon is not exclusive to Stuyvesant. When walking to the Chambers Street subway station with two of my friends (one girl and one guy), a

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a SING! leader previously is seen as the prerequisite to grade victory. However, bounties of talent fly under the radar when incumbents fill the same roles year after year, but Soph-Frosh’s historic win proves that passion is all you need.

man working at the Marines recruiting center nearby popped his head outside the door and called out to my friend, “Hey rizz god, how old are you?” Though he did not successfully recruit the said “rizz god,” this interaction presses a more concerning question. Why are we, the girls, being “rizzled,” and the guys, doing the “rizzing”? It dawned on us that, though seemingly harmless and silly, the conjugations of this brand new word reinforce gender roles that have always been present: men chasing women while women themselves remain passive. This posits a misogynistic dynamic where men yield more power and agency. In turn, women are commodified into appendages of a man’s status.

Take Helen of Troy, for instance, who’s rendered in Greek literature as the docile object of the Trojan War. Even though Menelaus definitely did not have rizz (maybe some militaristic rizz?), the point still stands. This ideology continually manifests itself in our contemporary culture through characters like James Bond and his throngs of “Bond Girls” or music videos featuring attractive women for the sole purpose of making the male artist look cool. This ideal, known formally as the Casanova trope after a famous 18th-century womanizer, has been used in Hollywood for decades and even capitalized on in advertising. One example is the early 2000s AXE Body Spray campaign with the tagline “spray more, get more” and a ridiculous commercial featuring thousands of women running across a beach towards a man spraying himself with the product. In reality, the woman-

izer ideal is far from the truth. Men and women speak to each other all the time for non-romantic reasons, and even when they do flirt, women are not helpless to this “all-powerful straight-male rizz.” Yet, with millions of young men consuming this over-sexualized idea of masculinity, heteronormative and sexist worldviews are passed down from generation to generation.

Gender roles are enforced upon children from a young age. Teacher and parent biases influence them to fulfill gendered expectations at school, in extracurriculars, and at home. This eventually impacts our view of friendships and interpersonal interactions because it becomes natural to want to spend more time with people of our own gender. This can be incredibly restrictive, first and foremost for noncisgender people in terms of gender identity, but also when socializing. My younger sister, who is in her second year of preschool, plays almost exclusively with other girls in her age group. Even in high school, predominantly male or female friend groups are prevalent and often reinforced by single-gender sports teams. Even as mixed-gender friendships form, subtle differences and heteronormative dynamics remain. Our society contributes to sexist norms by not talking about them, which results in harmless words like rizz upholding gender divisions and stereotypes. I’m not suggesting that we collectively cut out rizz from our vocabulary, but the next time you call someone a “rizz god,” ask yourself if you’d do the same for a “rizz goddess.”

Reya Miller / The Spectator

The Beauty of Multiculturalism: Why “Cultural Appropriation” Has Gone Too Far

By TIM GORETSKY

Cultural appropriation is a term used to describe the inappropriate adoption of cultural elements by someone who is not a member of said culture. We have all heard the term at some point in the last few years, but with Twitter fights and loud outrage, it can be hard to understand what the term implies for American society. People wearing clothing and using items from cultures that are not their own have sparked debate over how much cultural mixing is acceptable in society. But there are times when the usage of the label “cultural appropriation” is overblown and instead shows a natural part of cultural mixing that presents a beautiful aspect of American society—striving for coexistence through multiculturalism.

Borrowing something of great cultural and historical significance without understanding its origins can be disrespectful, depending on the context. For example,

when Native American clothing and symbols are used as sports mascots, such as with the name Chicago Blackhawks, members of the indigenous community are un derstandably disturbed. The name steals Native Ameri can culture for consumerist aims. The reactions of com panies to this backlash are rather muted, with few listening to calls for rebranding.

However, many people take the idea of cultural ap propriation to new territory, insisting that certain language and fashion exchang es are insulting. For ex ample, African American Vernacular English (AAVE) has been at the forefront of this debate, with some saying that its increasing incorporation into the younger generation’s vocabulary minimizes black culture and ignores the vast history behind the

words. While it is important to understand the history regarding

spread to their audiences. Similar phenomena have occurred with genres like K-pop and reggaeton music: as cultural elements gain popularity, young audience members want to adopt them. People want to sound and live like their idols, which leads to AAVE seeping into the language of non-black people. This is not to say that the integration of AAVE is completely positive, as many words such as “woke” and “hella” have lost their AAVE connection and gone fully mainstream, but this is to be expected when words become hugely popular.

to fit a stereotypical “aesthetic.” If the wearer isn’t from that particular area, they are often shamed for it. On the contrary, it shows appreciation for the culture, displaying that a person thinks that a language looks or sounds nice, or that the media produced by the country is enjoyed by them. It is sad to see such stigmatization, as multiculturalism is one of the most positive things we can still cling to in this country.

larity in America, the words and phrases used by black artists will

The tag of cultural appropriation can also be extended to fashion, with designs and art in foreign languages being stigmatized on articles of clothing. For example, designers often use written characters from East Asian languages

It’s beautiful that this country tries to have all our different peoples coexist, and the merging of cultures is a special American experience that should be protected, not prevented. If we feel that we cannot even borrow words from another language or dialect without risking offense, then we can never truly achieve a post-racial society. We need to get past the painful history of America and move into an era where coexistence is possible. A good first step is accepting and appreciating cultural blending.

Modern Music: Nonsensical Lyrics and Meaningless Messages

By STEFANIE CHEN

You turn on the car radio and it blasts at full volume with each radio station playing a vast catalog of songs. At first, things seem okay; the songs are catchy and the consistent stream of music is good enough to keep you satisfied. But, as you keep listening, you realize that there’s something off with the lyrics. Not only are some words mumbled and autotuned to such a degree that they’re nearly incomprehensible, but those that you can make out are also random strings of words that hardly count as a sentence.

Since the 2000s, music quality and intelligibility have been in steady decline, with songs containing only simple vocabulary with little to no substance and lyrics filled with extraordinarily vulgar and pointless messages. It’s not a surprise that all sorts of sounds and beats have been exhausted from decades of songwriting, making unique melodies and tunes harder to create.

A decade ago, most songs had lyrical qualities of, on average, a third- or fourth-grade reading level. While not high, the lyrical intelligibility of modern music across all genres from Pop to Country has consistently dropped. In a 2015 study by Andrew PowellMorse, the Head of Data Analysis and Editorial Content at BestTickets, an analysis of the lyrics of

By KIKYO MAKINO-SILLER

The Pentagon is the headquarters of the U.S. Department of Defense, the nerve center of our country’s armed forces. Established in 1947, the Pentagon remains the largest of our government institutions. Americans expect such an institution to uphold a certain degree of responsibility. However, our most trusted symbol of American defense is utterly negligent in managing its funds, and concrete reforms need to be implemented.

The Pentagon launched its firstever independent financial audit in 2017. The public lauded its attempt to improve financial transparency, something that they had notice-

225 songs that had spent at least three weeks as No. 1 on Billboard’s Pop, Country, Rock, and Hip-hop charts found an average of a thirdgrade reading level. It has also been found that many individual

their catchy beats or hooks rather than for the lyrical content. With lyrics slowly declining in quality, the popular songs younger generations are being exposed to a whole ensemble of senseless songs.

included themes of gun violence, drinking, drug dealing, and defiance of authorities, and the No. 2 song, “Rockstar” by Post Malone, contained even more topics of vice. “Kiss Kiss” by Chris Brown featuring T-Pain talked almost solely about the appeal of a woman’s body for the song’s entirety.

Katy Perry’s song, “Bon Appetit,” had lyrics containing nothing more than sexual references and innuendos. Vulgarity in music is hardly necessary, but with weak songs needing to stand out from their older counterparts and renowned predecessors, many artists have turned to foul language and explicit lyrics to give their songs an extra punch.

tor for the onset of alcohol use in adolescents.

artists have lyrics with reading levels even below that. From 2005 to 2014, Beyoncé, for example, had a song intelligence metric of, on average, “2.25” grade; Lady Gaga received a score of “2.15” grade, and shockingly, Ke$ha received a score of “1.50” grade, the lowest out of all artists on the charts. While this hasn’t stopped their songs from topping charts, people almost always listen to songs for

Not only are song lyrics becoming increasingly meaningless, but they are also becoming increasingly obscene and vulgar. Since 2000, more and more songs containing illegal or hedonistic topics such as drugs, sex, and violence have entered the Billboard Hot 100. During the week of October 15, 2017, the No. 1 most popular song on the chart was “Bodak Yellow” by Cardi B, which

The majority of the younger generations, growing up on songs that don’t advocate for anything other than self-centered desires, may grow up thinking that the frequent mention of drugs and sexual activity is normal, and in some instances, even trendy and cool. According to the study “Exposure to Degrading Versus Nondegrading Music Lyrics and Sexual Behavior

Among Youth,” adolescents who listened to songs with degrading, sexual lyrics were much more likely to engage in risky, sexual behavior. Another study “Television and music video exposure and risk of adolescent alcohol use” stated that listening to explicit lyrics in music videos about drugs and alcohol abuse was a great risk fac-

Cents Lost on Defense

ably lacked since its establishment in 1947. However, public opinion dipped quickly as the Department of Defense failed its audit. The first internal audit found that a large Pentagon agency lost track of $800 million in construction projects. This report included a multitude of misplaced funds and incomplete projects. In 2019, a second failed audit revealed that the inspectors had uncovered a warehouse full of aircraft parts for planes that had been unused for over a decade. The Pentagon made headlines again this year when they were unable to account for $220 billion in gear given to contractors, which is a conservative estimate. More recent estimates have found that the department

couldn’t account for about 61 percent of its assets. In 2001, the Pentagon assured the public that the issue would be resolved by 2005. Now, they estimate that they will not pass a single audit for at least another five years.

These gaping holes in transparency and efficiency are due to flaws in the Pentagon’s ancient bookkeeping procedures and lack of communication caused by the sheer size of the institution and chronic understaffing between its 27 auditing units. There are a few methods that the Pentagon could use moving forward if they wish to meet their goal of managing their funds.

The first method is Pentagon comptroller and chief financial

officer Mike McCord’s preferred method: bots. As he describes them, data analytics and automation could speed up the process by which the Pentagon tracks funds. However, with automation already set to replace 73 million jobs by 2030, replacing government workers with technology may stir backlash.

Another method is cutting the Pentagon’s budget, which could incentivize the Department of Defense to stop misplacing funds and to redirect flows of cash to where it is most needed, such as its underfunded maintenance system and laboratories. But as of 2023, the Department of Defense is set to receive $858 billion in national de-

Songs today are almost incomparable to older songs that discuss themes ranging from self-acceptance to simply looking at the brighter side of life. Michael Jackson’s “Man in the Mirror” expresses themes of self-improvement and change in oneself before the world. “I Will Survive” by Gloria Gaynor contains lyrics urging individuals to stand up for themselves and inspire individual endurance. Modern songs don’t live up to even a small percentage of these heartfelt older songs, their only themes being to seemingly inspire acts of vice and malice. While the popularity of such songs has made it much harder to tear people away from the Spotify playlists of this day in age, it is still possible to improve the quality of an individual’s personal listening routines. Trying to add songs from before the 2000s from genres like Jazz, Soul, and even Alternative Rock can help cleanse and bring more quality into a listening palate, and perhaps, even include lyrics that pertain to their own lives. Maybe try songs without lyrics, such as Classical and Celtic music. With how giant and capitalistic the music industry is, trying to change all music is nothing short of impossible, but throwing back to older, more meaningful songs, might just save the younger generation from the clutches of meaningless music.

fense funding, a dramatic increase compared to years prior.

The most plausible solution would be if the United States ratified the Audit the Pentagon Act of 2021, a bill that “would impose a penalty for any part of the department, including the military, that fails to undergo a clean audit.” Though this act was introduced two years ago in May and has failed to be codified into law, it is the most direct call to action. If passed, it may finally push the Pentagon to finally start taking reform seriously. These are not the only options, but it is clear that no matter which path the Department of Defense chooses to take, they have a long road ahead.

Ashley La / The Spectator

Stefanie Chen / The Spectator

By RIYA SUNDARAM

My younger brother was diagnosed with celiac disease in May 2022. Celiac is a genetic disease that causes an immune reaction to gluten, a byproduct of wheat, which can lead to malnutrition and damage to the small intestine. My brother had to eliminate all gluten from his diet, which severely limited his food choices; bread, pasta, and even soy sauce had to be cut out at first. However, the choices now are more diverse than they used to be due to increased awareness about celiac disease and experimentation with gluten-free flour substitutes.

My brother’s diagnosis led to an increase in baking in my family, often using these gluten-free flour substitutes. My mother and I made pancakes and cookies using the new flour, and the recipes all turned out great. But we noticed the large price tag that accompanied the new ingredients. At Target, a 44-oz bag of gluten-free flour can cost almost 10 dollars, and that’s on the cheaper end. At the same Target, you can get five pounds of normal flour for $2.50. For almost double the amount, normal flour comes at a quarter of the price. Once it’s labeled gluten-free, everything becomes more expensive.

Gluten-free food items can cost up to 183 percent more than gluten products. Part of this is due to the care it takes to make glutenfree food for people with celiac disease. Find Me Gluten Free is a review app for gluten-free food in res-

By ELMA KHAN

I’m sure we’ve all been there before. After reading a ridiculously complicated classical text from the 1700s in English class, you are asked to write an essay comparing your own personal growth with the character development of the protagonist. However, when you start brainstorming, your mind goes blank. There are barely any parallels between yourself and this character written more than 300 years ago. So, you decide to lie. You concoct an elaborate sob story to relate to the book because you know your teachers will eat that up. From The Odyssey to Romeo and Juliet to The Picture Of Dorian Gray, ancient classics pervade almost all high school English classes. However, these outdated books often don’t resonate with students, who would grow more as English students when analyzing modern literature.

Not enough modern-day conflicts are addressed in ancient literature. Contemporary literature helps students understand relevant issues in modern society, such as climate change, drug use, and human rights violations. For instance, A Good Girl’s Guide To Murder by Holly Jackson, published in 2019, is a young adult murder mystery that demonstrates the inhumane cruelty of rape and the harmful effect of abusing drugs. Furthermore, The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas, published in 2017, was featured on the National Book Awards Longlist as well as five other awards because it challenges systemic racism and stereotypes. Another example is the Newbery Medal winner Fighting Words by Kimberly Brubaker Bradley, published in 2019, which dismantles the stigma around speaking out against child sexual abuse. In a

Eating Shouldn’t Be Expensive

taurants that my family uses, and one of the questions is if the restaurant has a separate kitchen for their gluten-free items. While this may sound unrealistic, restaurants must account for the risk of crosscontamination using separate, ded icated machines. These machines may cost the restaurants more, but the price of accessibility shouldn’t fall on those with celiac disease. As Jenny Levine Finke, author of Gluten, It’s Not You, It’s Me says on her website, in the same way that ramps for wheelchair us ers and high chairs for toddlers are free, gluten-free acces sibility should be expected with out a price tag. People with celiac disease shouldn’t have to shoul der the brunt of these expensive prices.

Another factor keeping the prices up for glutenfree foods is non-medical demand.

In the United States right now, gluten-free isn’t thought of as a celiac issue, but as a diet trend. In 2015, a study showed that 20 per cent of Americans actively kept gluten out of their diet because they believed it was healthier. This trend was popularized by lifestyle bloggers through social media and spread incredibly quickly and far.

Celebrities hopped on the trend, like Gwyneth Paltrow, who wrote a gluten-free cookbook promising

that it would help one lose weight and feel healthy. Lady Gaga and Kourtney Kardashian, as well as many others, continued the trend that only trivializes nutritional health, making gluten out to be the villain. Though this diet attempts to cut out processed grains, which are bad for the human body, it comes with a certain amount of risk. Professionals instead recom-

mend including more whole grain products in one’s diet. Ultimately, going gluten-free without a medical reason isn’t the miracle cure people are looking for but rather a small trend to tide them over.

While this boom in the popularity of gluten-free eating increased diversity in the foods available, it also raised their prices by treating gluten-free diets as something cosmetic instead of life-saving.

The experience of needed foods being blocked by high prices is a widespread issue for anyone with dietary restrictions, such as veganism, lactose intolerance, and vegetarianism. All of these foods require different, indepth procedures that get them on shelves and medically safe. But still ingrained in these other diets’ prices is the non-medical demand popularized by the media. For example, Kourtney Kardashian switched her and her kids to a dairy-free diet. The dairy-free diet had been gaining popularity at the time, and with it came a rise of fear over “intolerance.” Many people joined the trend with their new-found intolerance. Many ignore the inflated prices of needed food since it doesn’t seem to affect them, only a minority of the population. But this “minority” is millions of people in the United States with food allergies or eating

Classics vs. Contemporaries

world where abuse, racism, and sexism are present everywhere, it’s important to read literature that reflects on these topics so we can fight against them. This is not

mained the same in the curriculum. If these are the books that make up the majority of the school curriculum, then students will subconsciously assume that or are not of the same caliber as

tric works are the “foundation of literature” when torically false. The

was well-planned out and that jettisoning their more effective units would be a waste and a shame.”

Funding the purchase of so many new books at once is another hurdle when it comes to incorporating contemporary novels into curricula. It would be helpful if the English department notified students of certain book changes because these efforts aren’t noticeable to the student body solely based on the course name.

restrictions. We can’t continue to look the other way.

My family has been lucky that being gluten-free isn’t a financial issue, but we are the exception. These high prices limit those who are celiac from getting the food they need. The United States government needs a new system for its celiac citizens, which requires looking outward. For example, in Italy, the government gives out monthly gluten-free food vouchers for up to 140 euros. By creating this system, Italy lets its people know that it takes celiac seriously. At the moment, there’s not enough seriousness surrounding celiac disease and gluten-free foods in the United States. If the U.S. could implement these vouchers, they would truly help patients combat celiac disease, as well as the expensive nature of gluten-free food. Though this wouldn’t solve the inflated prices of gluten-free foods, since they’re caused by many different factors, it would help people see gluten-free as a celiac issue and not an internet trend.

Though some Americans might argue against this on a financial basis, claiming that handouts are unreasonable, this isn’t just a financial problem—this is about how the United States is addressing the health of its citizens. These vouchers could be an important safety blanket so that anyone who is gluten-free now or who might get diagnosed in the future won’t have to worry about financial blockades to their health. Money shouldn’t limit lives.

ropean, straight men. This lack of racial and gender diversity also fails to represent a large part of Stuyvesant, where the majority of students are people of color. Students deserve to see themselves in the literature they read. Though the name of the sophomore English class changed from European Literature to Foundations of Literature in 2022, this is so far merely a cosmetic change as many of the books have re-

foundations of literature actually lie in the city of Uruk in Mesopotamia circa 3200 BC, where priests wrote hymns to praise their gods.

Eric Grossman, Assistant Principal of the Stuyvesant English Department, noted in an email interview that changes have started being made to the syllabus to “expand the realm of works.” The issue, however, is that “most teachers believed that the course

Many contemporary novels outwardly denounce the toxic and deplorable stereotypes, prejudice, and oppression that classical novels are filled with. In works written by outstanding writers such as William Shakespeare and Edgar Allen Poe, misogynistic and racist comments are rarely acknowledged, much less resolved; instead, they are excused as the “norm” of the time. Of course, modern books can include sexism, racism, and homophobia, but they are actually acknowledged and criticized throughout the course of the novel. This is something that most books in the syllabus lack. It is important to note, however, that these issues can be analyzed in classical works if teachers facilitate meaningful conversations that acknowledge and analyze the issues present between the lines on the page. In an e-mail interview with Foundations of Literature teacher Lauren Stuzin, they describe how they think about the norms and events described in the texts in comparison to modern-day norms, which allows students to really see the inequities present. When teaching The Odyssey, for example, Stuzin deconstructs the problematic aspects of the poem and points out that “often Odysseus is framed as a heroic king, who fights his way back home against unfair and enduring obstacles. [While the] idea

that Odysseus is good and noble may have been common among Ancient Greeks, Odysseus actually manipulates and seduces a minor while he is naked; he cheats on his wife; he pillages cities, steals ‘plunder,’ and presumably rapes ‘wives’ (212); he sacrifices his employees’ lives for his own; he taunts monsters and gods to boost his ego, allowing his entire crew to be murdered; he strangles the elderly woman who nursed him; he degrades his wife; and he hangs 12 enslaved teenage girls for being raped by his enemies.”

Reading modern literature can help us see ourselves in the characters’ situations and find relevance in English class rather than fabricating our connection with the novel just for a good grade. If we are assigned novels that we can relate to, we can find more interest in what we read and be passionate about our classes as well. This can heighten our appreciation for literature and English class. I’m not saying classical literature should be completely removed from the curriculum, as we can still gain insight from society during the time period of the book’s publishing. However, it isn’t necessary to emphasize such outdated novels; two to three classics serve enough of their function. English class is not meant to be a boring space where we simply do what teachers tell us to do; it’s meant to be a space where students can learn about the world and themselves. Modern literature has so much to offer if we can actually pursue it in school. How can students learn about themselves when they are forced to read novels with protagonists from the Shakespearean era? As the world evolves, we need to grapple with issues more relevant to modern society rather than look back and decipher dusty, old novels.

Ashley La / The Spectator

Natalie Soler / The Spectator

By PHILLIP VIRATA

“Who am I?” This question is essential to finding our sense of identity, yet it is so complicated, as there are many facets to it. Fortunately, scientific and technological developments have made it possible to explore some of them. One prevalent method is ancestry tests. The MIT Technological Review reports that by 2019, 26 million consumers took one of these tests, almost doubling the amount from the year before. This number will continue to rise, as studies have projected that the DNA test kit market will increase by 16.1 percent from 2020 to 2030. These figures show that more and more people are becoming interested in figuring out their ethnic heritage.

I was one of these people. I had strictly identified as being half Filipino and half Russian my entire life, and I was enticed by the prospect of finding more to my story. With this newfound determination, I asked my parents to order DNA testing kits for my birthday. Just a few months later, the results came in. The entire time I only expected to find a few percentage points in my DNA that were neither Filipino nor Russian, but the results took me by surprise. Apparently, I was only 26 percent Filipino. The other 24 percent from my dad was Chinese.

What’s in a DNA Test?

I was extremely shocked, as there was never any indication of Chinese ancestry from my dad’s side at all.

dwindled shortly after. However, this discovery sent me spiraling. I kept asking myself, “What do I say my ethnicity is now?” and “Am

to self-identify with multiple races.

Some people may scoff at the idea of letting a DNA test affect the way you see yourself, as the tests are not completely accurate. This is definitely a valid concern, as even my own results tell me that my Chinese ancestry can range anywhere from 18 to 33 percent of DNA. Moreover, these tests are always expanding and changing their database, so my percentages have shifted slightly. Some test takers ignore their results to cherry-pick their identities, leaving out the ones that they are uncomfortable being associated with. For me, however, ignoring my Chinese ancestry was not the right solution. My dad only grew up with his mom in the Philippines, and he never really knew anything about his dad. It was entirely possible that my grandpa had come from a Chinese background, and neither my dad nor my grandma knew about it.

ethnicity partly is as well. Ethnicity is not only just about common ancestry. It’s about culture, religion, language, nationality, and more. When I say I’m Filipino and Russian, that comes with years of eating and learning how to cook Filipino food, visiting my Russian relatives, learning the languages, and making memories with both of my grandmothers who live with me. These aren’t necessarily the prerequisites necessary for my ethnic identity, but they are definitely factors that enhance it. Given that I only learned about my Chinese ancestry recently, I don’t think I can ever have those same experiences to truly claim that identity.

Everyone else in my family was just as shocked as I was, but they treated this information just like any online trend. For one to two weeks, they were all talking about it with their friends and each other, but their interest

I less Filipino than I was before I found out these results?” I am not alone in my confusion. DNA test results have been shown to affect the way people see themselves, as those who have taken an ancestry test have been found more likely

So what is the answer? After many months of deliberating this question, I have come to a middle ground. I am still going to identify as half Filipino and half Russian, but not because I don’t think the results are accurate enough or because I have an antipathy to identifying as Chinese. It is because identification comes with social implications. We all now know that race is a social construct, but

With the stigma of interracial marriages decreasing in America, it is very likely that in a few generations, children who take a DNA test will see a countless number of different ethnic groups on their results. Perhaps it would be more confusing for them than it was for me if they had to identify with every single ethnicity on that list. It doesn’t have to be that way. By taking a deeper look into the nuanced compositions of ethnic identity, we will be able to foster deeper cultural connections for ourselves as well as future generations and answer at least part of that existential question: Who am I?

Historical Accuracy is Not an Excuse for Lack of Diversity

By ASHLEY LIN

The musical Hamilton introduced me to a spectacular world where progressive ideals are woven into a historical production. Despite not being a theater kid who memorized the lyrics to every Hamilton song, I was still able to appreciate Lin-Manuel Miranda’s meticulous artistry and transcendent lyrics. Hamilton brilliantly promotes diversity and inclusion within a musical based on historical events in which the protagonists were straight, white men in the late 1700s. Although historical authenticity in entertainment media raises the production’s quality, accuracy shouldn’t come at the expense of diversity when it can be included.

From youth to adulthood, people are constantly exposed to information and beliefs through the media. TV shows, films, and movies depicting historical events or figures are rarely completely historically accurate. Directors often have to omit certain details and keep those that can better engage an audience and create emotional impact. Films and movies are made through actors and the use of sets in order to create a specific setting; therefore, they can only attempt to create the illusion of historical accuracy. In the filmmaking industry, revenue and appeal to the audience often outweigh the minor inaccurate historical details used to advance the plot. If filmmakers and scriptwriters are already disregarding historical accuracy for the sake of entertainment, there shouldn’t be an excuse for the lack of diversity in many of these films.

The HBO series, Game of Thrones, which was adapted from George R. R. Martin’s novels, was criticized for lack of diversity despite the show’s popularity. The franchise, based on medieval Europe, has a main cast of white actors with the exception of a few tertiary or secondary charac-

ters who are of a different race. While Martin’s novels depict the characters as white, fair-skinned, and with golden hair, A Game of Thrones is a novel set in Westeros, a fictional place. In a series with dragons and mysterious forces, the inclusion of a powerful black, middle eastern, or Asian ruling family should not be implausible. Historical accuracy contributes to the sets, costumes, dialogue, and behaviors of the characters to indicate time. Though Game of Thrones filmmakers claimed to adhere to the descriptions in Martin’s novels, movies and shows constantly diverge from the character’s appearance from the book. For instance, Morgan Freeman played Ellis Boyd Redding in The Shawshank Redemption, a film adaptation of a short story by Stephen King. King originally portrayed Redding as white and Irish, but after casting Freeman for the role, Redding became one of his most iconic roles, demonstrating that adhering to an exact character description is not always required for a quality film.

Furthermore, in the film industry, many white ac tors take the roles of minority char acters. Elizabeth Taylor played Cleopatra was Egyptian and Macedo nian, in the film Cleopa tra. Angelina Jolie took the role of Mari ane Pearl, a living journal ist of African and Cuban descent. Ben Affleck, in Argo, played a real Mex ican-Amer ican CIA agent. From the continu

ous use of white actors, a report on inclusion found that 65 percent of speaking characters in the film were played by white actors and only 34 percent of characters were from underrepresented racial groups. For years, characters and historical figures of color have been whitewashed—yet, filmmakers refuse to include actors of color in productions about minorities or historical figures of different races. The use of white actors in roles of color, fused with the lack of productions centering around figures of color, contributes to the overwhelming lack of representation.

Diversity in both entertainment films and period dramas have proved to be successful. Hamilton exploded box office records with global sales of over $1 billion and showed that diversity does not diminish the reception of the production. Similarly, the 2020 period piece, Bridgerton, became a global phenomenon and was praised for incorporating casual diversity in the show. Downton Abbey, a 2010

criticism for not including people of color. When confronted, producers responded with historical accuracy as their reasoning. However, Bridgerton, set in 19th century London, managed to achieve higher demand and momentum rates than Downton Abbey while still achieving a diverse cast. Additionally, films centered around the issues that the black community faces, such as Hidden Figures, rose in popularity. The representation of challenges in the workforce, and shedding light on the efforts of black women that were diminished by white men made the film remarkable and allowed communities across the world to see themselves in history.

It is universally known that the historical figures in Hamilton, portrayed by Latinx and African American actors, were white. However, the race of the actors did not take away from the educational value of the musical, nor did it take away the overwhelming support from society and critics alike. In fact, the use of actors of color in a production about white men in colonial America allows the audience to see that history belongs to everyone. Minorities are marginalized by white, powerful figures, and as a result, history is only told from the perspectives of white men.

Hamilton represents these excluded racial groups as influential figures. Filmmakers should move towards weaving various cultures and races into a production that appeals to a diverse audience in order to connect to various experi-

ences and identities. This can be done through the inclusion of casual diversity, such as in Bridgerton and the 2022 film Mr. Malcolm’s List, where diversity is included but is not the main focus of the movie. In addition, there needs to be more productions centered around the stories of people of color in history. The efforts and advancements made by people of color have been suppressed by white men, but society can give diverse historical figures a voice by spreading knowledge about their achievements and publicly fighting for rightful representation.

While diversity invites different people in society to see themselves represented in important historical figures, diversity for the sake of diversity does not create a good film. Historical accuracy still remains a vital aspect of filmmaking, especially when addressing sensitive historical issues, ethnicities, or specific cultural experiences. Historical authenticity should not be neglected at the risk of warping the audience’s perspective of history or causing misrepresentation. Filmmakers and screenwriters still need to ensure that they aren’t perpetuating racial stereotypes when including people of color in their films. Therefore, having diverse directors, producers, and writers along with a mixed cast can allow productions to show inclusive and educational diversity.

In productions, diversity is a tool for filmmakers to incorporate the views and experiences of society that are naturally diverse. History can differ depending on personal biases, cultural events, and agendas. While historical accuracy is important, it should not be used to justify the marginalization of diverse perspectives. Instead, films need to include various voices and experiences in order to promote an inclusive understanding of history as well as represent the people in the present. Limited casts cannot be justified by historical accuracy when the media’s rapid and

Joanna Meng / The Spectator

Lillian Zou / The Spectator

Photos By Sophia Mueller, Ifra Mahmud, and Brandon Tang

SING! by the Numbers

By SARAH DIAZ

Production costs for SING! 2023 were almost entirely provided by Student Union (SU) funding, along with $6,000 from the Parents Association, their standard contribution. In most years, the Stuyvesant High School Alumni Association would also contribute money, but due to a lack of necessity, they did not contribute to this year’s SING!. Future use of leftover funds and SING! profits has yet to be determined but will go at least in part to the SU general fund.

Soph-Frosh SING!

Junior SING! Senior SING!

Soph-Frosh SING! was organized by sophomore coordinator Rayen Zhou, sophomore executive producer Grace Rhee, freshman producer Joanne Hwang, freshman producer Ahana Chandra, and freshman producer Tristan Haugh. Slightly over $6,300 was allocated for their representation of a troubled royal court––over $3,000 more than the production costs in 2022. While this was more than previous years, the performance did stay under this year’s budget of $7,000.

One change to Soph-Frosh SING!’s budget was the elimination of reimbursements, with directors instead ordering items directly from the SU Amazon account. While this was a major change, it did not cause any problems due to the coordinators’ clear communication with the SU. “These new rules were much more streamlined than in previous years and were clearly laid out to the coordinators by [social studies teacher and Coordinator of Student Affairs Matthew Polazzo] at the beginning of the SING! season,” Zhou said in an e-mail interview. “There was no miscommunication regarding the budget. When the budget guidelines had to be altered due to unexpectedly high prices, it was clearly communicated to the SING!s.”

Soph-Frosh SING! spent the most out of all SING! performances, most notably due to their immense art, costume, and tech budgets, which consisted of $2,275.07, $1,455, and $1,131, respectively. While this was a large amount of money, Slate believes it was a worthy investment that was used without waste. “[In terms of tech and costumes,] unused wood and fabric were saved and stored away in either the costumes room or the tech room and will be left for future SING! use,” Zhou said. “All three of these crews made great use of their funds and performed extraordinarily in their respective categories.”

For the art budget specifically, Soph-Frosh required additional funds in order to transform their set to meet their ideal vision. “[Art] typically does not spend a lot of money, [but] we had high ambitions for our set design, and additional procurement requests were authorized so that the art crew could have the resources necessary to create incredible designs,” Zhou said.

Soph-Frosh also spent disproportionate amounts of money on Latin—$731.28 in comparison to the $231.28 seniors spent and $0 juniors spent. Latin accrued these costs due to new performers’ need for dance shoes, which they would be able to use in future years. “Being Soph-Frosh, many of Latin’s members were new to the dance and needed Latin dance shoes. While it may seem like a large purchase, these shoes will be continued to be used by members of the Latin crew as they perform in future shows, at open house, and in future SING!s,” Zhou said.

Remaining expenses consisted of $40 on band, $120.62 on makeup, $2,275.07 on art, and $572.65 on props.

Junior SING! was coordinated by junior Caroline Stansberry and produced by juniors Avi Liu, Kyle Chan, Eliza Oppenheimer, and Jeanice Deng. To bring their depiction of a magical camp to life, they used around $6,100 in contrast to the $3,800 spent in 2022.

Despite this immense cost increase from 2022, Junior SING! stayed under their budgeted total of $7,000. However, organizers faced some issues with establishing a budget early on. “The total budget wasn’t set in stone as quickly as it was last year,” Stansberry said in an e-mail interview. “Polazzo’s initial all-SING! budget was far less than any of the coordinators were prepared for, but luckily we talked to him about it and got it raised to a price that we would be able to adhere to.”

Out of all the expenses, the most amount of money was spent on tech, which added up to a whopping total of $1,625, the majority of which was spent on purchasing wood. This was surprising to Slate, as costs were much greater than in previous years. “Wood was definitely something that has increased significantly in price, which kind of threw our tech crew off a little,” Stansberry said. “[This was due to] inflation but also junior tech decided to build a lot more than last year.”

In terms of dance crews, Junior SING! spent $231.94 on modern, which was more money than any of the other grades. This was largely spent on blue leotards, which were used to represent flowing water. While this was a more targetted expense than those in other grades, Stansberry felt it paid off. “I feel [like] it was very well-spent,” she said. “[It was] very necessary and elevated their performance.”

Remaining expenses consisted of $1,161 on art, $1,380 on costumes, $643.44 on flow, $10 on makeup, $488.72 on Bolly, $60 on lights & sounds, $504 on props, and $34 on band.

2022 Attendees

Senior SING! was led by senior and coordinator Lianne Ohayan and senior producers Inour Awad, Judy Chen, Sarah Ibrahim, and Katherine Zhao. For their rendition of “Sin City,” Slate spent slightly under $4,800, $800 more than the $4,000 spent in 2022. However, this was also more than $1,000 less than any of the other SING!s.

Throughout the process, Slate was able to keep expenses under budget but ended up altering the way in which money was allocated. “[Typically, Slate] would approve the items to be sent through the procurement form; following this, our faculty advisors would review the responses submitted through the procurement form and approve accordingly,” Chen said in an e-mail interview. “[However,] our only concern was that having to wait for multiple rounds of approval would cause items to not arrive on time, [so] we encouraged all crews to purchase through the SU’s Amazon business account.”

The majority of expenses for the performance fell within art and costumes—$788.97 and $1,977.04, respectively—which is standard for most SING! productions. “Historically, art and costumes take up the majority of a SING!’s budget,” Chen said. “Collectively, we were very satisfied with our set, as it really brought Sin City to life, and that only could’ve been achieved if art crew received the appropriate resources.”

However, Senior SING! also spent $628 on Bolly, the most out of any SING!. This was due to their inability to rent out sufficient outfits. “Bolly costumes that suited the theme of our show could not be rented out from a third party,” Chen said. “As a result, we purchased them. [However,] considering how well the Bolly costumes matched the theme of greed (gold), this money was more than well spent.”

Remaining expenses consisted of $131.51 on Slate, $125.43 on chorus, $231.92 on Latin, $418.37 on makeup, $272.35 on props, $23.59 on stage, and $114.59 on tech. Additionally, Senior SING! purchased the flow props for all of the performances, which came to a total of $1,826.91.

Maximum number of attendees allowed in a night: 700 468 Friday night attendees

197 Thursday night attendees

2023 Attendees

496 Saturday night attendees

Maximum number of attendees allowed in a night: 840 820 Friday night attendees

392 Thursday night attendees

840 Saturday night attendees

By KEVIN CHAN, DALIA LEVANON, and EMAN SADIQ

“You tell your father that if I don’t get a raise and if he doesn’t get rid of the peaches, then I quit!”

In a historic win, soph-frosh took home the title of SING! champions. The production wowed the judges and audience with its tale of luxury and incompetence, betrayal and budding romance, monarchy and acceptance; soph-frosh delivered a night of biting quips and familiar tropes. Directed by Rayen Zhou and produced by Grace Rhee, Joanne Hwang, Ahana Chandra, and Tristan Haugh, the performance followed the drama of a royal family weighed-down by the ill decisions made by their party-obsessed king (David Son).

Before the curtains rose, a duo of guards (biology teachers Marissa Maggio and Jerry Citron) outfitted in enormous powdered wigs and red vests marched onstage, dragging an enraged bread thief behind them. The criminal was deposited into a cage framed by silver bars as the guards made groan-inducing science jokes. Once the guards exited the stage, the disgruntled thief met his fellow inmate: a figure cloaked in blue (Rachel Alvarez), who offered to help pass the time by telling the story of an infamous jester who disrupted the royal court.

The curtains finally opened to reveal a line of actors clad in regal capes and royal garb, as the opening notes to “Alexander Hamilton” were sounded by the band. This first number made an immediate impact on the crowd, introducing Queen Lilith (Andrea Wang), the alcoholic mother who resents the day her son took her rightful seat on the throne; Ivy Barnes (Lily Wagman), the dissatisfied maiden fighting the control of her power-hungry father; Geraldine (Ashvica Sinha), the court jester who is “destined” for musical greatness; Princess Azalea (Jane No),

Things Are Not Peachy

the socially awkward daughter of the uninvolved king; and Pepper (Daniella Solomon), the overworked royal chef who struggles to keep up with the king’s peach obsession.

Once the number came to a close, the narrator introduced the Kingdom of Staten Island, a “whimsical” land where parties are hosted daily.

In this particular festivity, soph-frosh Latin took the stage, landing impressive lifts in their emerald green skirts as chorus members sang in accompaniment. The end of the Latin number coincided with the finale of Geraldine’s trampoline routine for an audience of one. The king’s advisor, Theodore (Dylan Ross), was introduced as he entered the stage as the only member of the royal court with “more than one functioning brain cell” entered. Geraldine joined the group to pitch her musical act, but was quickly dismissed as King Andrias entered the stage, launching into an upbeat rendition to the tune of Bruno Mars’s “Uptown Funk,” joined by soph-frosh hip-hop. While Andrias’s dancing was not the most technically impressive, his charisma and self-adoration came through with each shake of his behind and flailing of his arms.

While Andrias took a moment to wipe his forehead and catch his breath, Queen Lilith, decked in a floor-length red gown and matching eye makeup, joined the court. After addressing her son, Lilith staggered through the court in search of another drink of kombucha, effectively portraying disdain for her role as simply the king’s mother. Benedict Barnes (River Soto), a desperate member of the nobility, approached Andrias’s throne to introduce the king to his daughter, Ivy (presumably not for the first time). Ivy played the part of an embarrassed teenager, rolling her eyes and muttering “dad…” under her breath. Andrias explained that he was “not interested in hiring right now” despite Benedict’s reminder that the Queen would not

be there to guide him forever. Lilith retorted, “I sure hope not.” The father-and-daughter couple was soon replaced by the ever-persistent Geraldine, ukulele in hand.

Dumbledore, the royal prophet, swept onstage carrying her crystal ball, displacing the jester once again. Despite the prophet’s wild predictions and hectic appearance, the king believed in Dumbledore’s ability to see the future. Dumbledore declared that his “crystal ball predicts that the seniors will have a cast director,” pausing before following up with, “Yeah, I’m just messing with you, that’s not gonna happen,” poking fun at the absence of the position in Senior SING!. Dumbledore also predicted that the husband of a woman onstage was bound to cheat on her with her mother (a revelation that was confirmed later on in the show, producing waves of laughter in the crowd). When alone with Andrias, Lilith confronted the king about her disapproval of his immature conduct; she expressed annoyance with her son’s misplaced trust in Dumbledore’s prophecies and his overall inability to lead the Kingdom of Staten Island.

The next scene opened with Theodore and Andrias, and in contrast with Lilith’s confrontational relationship with the king, Theodore complied with Andrias’s demands despite his growing concern for the kingdom’s rising debt. Andrias then proposed his new royal plan with the reveal of a scroll reading “Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss.” At the king’s instruction, Theodore taught him how to use “future slang,” began to refer to him as “girlboss,” and catered to Andrias’s requests for more peach-based foods. The lights went out and the scene returned with Benedict’s struggle to secure his daughter a job despite Ivy’s feeble protests. As the dispute continued, Azalea and the soph-frosh modern crew entered the court. The princess and Ivy sang a captivating duet about their struggles

In the Royal Court

with being in the royal court as soph-frosh modern’s choreography brilliantly matched the singers’ harmony.

In the next scene, Lilith and Andrias bickered about both of their failed contributions to the kingdom. Lilith broke out into her first solo about the inner conflict between the devotion she has to both her son and the kingdom. Geraldine overheard, and artfully convinced the queen to collaborate with her in a plot to kill the king. Considering the queen’s previous monologue and the general dismissiveness with which Geraldine was routinely treated in the court, Lilith’s sudden acceptance to the murder of her son was both surprising and somewhat unconvincing. The lights went out and soph-frosh flow entered. “Queen” played, and the crew’s golden-yellow lights conveyed soph-frosh’s royal theme.

The setting returned to the kitchen, where Ivy and Azalea continued to bond over their frustrating experiences with their parents. The discussion was mixed with disses to Junior SING!’s summer camp theme. Azalea commented, “One time, when I had COVID-19, [my father] told me to drink bleach,” and Ivy added that her “dad threatened to send [her] to bible camp.” Next, Geraldine snuck into the kitchen to prepare a poisoned peach cake for the king, but was caught in the act by an insulted Pepper, who misread the situation as Andrias’s traitorous recruitment of a new chef.

After Pepper stormed off, a pensive Ivy questioned Geraldine about her job as a chef, on the verge of recognizing that she was actually the royal jester. Azalea paid no heed to Ivy’s observations, and Geraldine went on to poison the dish (illogically using a “fatal” dose of poison ivy as the murder weapon). Geraldine and Lilith then entered, planning the latter’s inevitable ascension to the throne following Andrias’s “tragic accident.” After taking her leave, Geraldine rejoiced at the way things

were “looking up” and transitioned into a strong musical rendition of “Feeling Good,” in which she conveyed her excitement for the king’s downfall. The jester’s solo was accompanied by an engaging soph-frosh Latin performance, followed by a well-choreographed Bolly ensemble performance.

Nearing the climax, the story switched back to Lilith, who was seated on the royal throne as she observed Pepper’s preparations for the imminent party; once Andrias entered, Lilith quickly reassured her son, somewhat irately, that she was only keeping the seat warm. Upon spotting a peach cake, Andrias rushed to the table, unaware of the fact that it contained poison ivy. However, just as the king was about to take a bite, Dumbledore rushed onstage in a frenzy and revealed that the meal was poisoned. Shocked yet grateful, Andrias proclaimed Dumbledore his new advisor, much to the dismay of Theodore. The court then erupted into chaos as the king accused Pepper of attempted murder, though much of the gathered crowd defended the chef’s integrity. After Azalea realized that Lilith was the only one with access to poison, she despairingly turned towards the Queen and asked, “Grandma?” Andrias distraughtly confronted his mother, who reminded him that he was not a responsible son nor attentive father. Another confrontation between Azalea and Andrias ensued, culminating in a heartfelt apology from Andrias and a father-daughter reconciliation.

As everyone deliberated on the possible culprit, Ivy chimed in with a recollection of Geraldine in the kitchen, after which Geraldine made an enthusiastic entrance and feigned grief at the death of Andrias, oblivious that Andrias was alive and well. The jester’s blunder results in her subsequent downfall, and the audience is brought back from the lengthy flashback to the cage from the beginning of the show. It is then revealed that

the downbeat prisoner in the cage who has been relating the story to the bread thief is none other than Geraldine—several years in the future— and thus, Soph-Frosh SING! comes full-circle with a strong resolution.

All in all, Soph-Frosh SING! impressed with its coherent plot, intricate costumes, and outstanding performances from soph-frosh Latin and hip-hop. One of the most prominent features of the production was the high-quality comedy and improvised disses, far surpassing those of the other grades. There were also clever references to politics, such as Andrias’s unwise decision of purchasing NFTs, his advice to “drink bleach” when Azalea had COVID, and Lilith’s remark: “the climate hasn’t changed since I last checked.”

The set had noteworthy highlights, including the flickering hearth in Pepper’s kitchen, complete with wavering flames. A full-size chandelier hung from the ceiling—one of the most architecturally advanced pieces across all of the SING! productions. The peaches, though, which were often tossed from hand to hand or carried across the stage, resembled lumpy bell-peppers of varying sizes. Additionally, the traditional hierarchy of a royal court was somewhat lacking, as there was little differentiation between the nobility and the monarchs themselves. Azalea and Ivy, in their similar pink dresses, could easily have been mistaken for members of the same class; for a show focused on the royal court, there were missed opportunities to create class tensions.

Despite these minor shortcomings, Soph-Frosh SING! shined with its humor, enthusiasm, captivating sets, and intricate costumes, leaving an overall positive impression on the crowd. The sophomore class is the first to have never experienced virtual SING!, ushering in a new era of post-COVID performance at Stuyvesant—a revolutionary era, it seems, based on their unprecedented victory.

By TALIA ARCASOY, CHRISTOPHER LOUIE, and ANKITA SAHA

“Gates have now been closed! Let the excitement begin!”

Coordinated by Caroline Stansberry and produced by Kyle Hon Chan, Jeanice Deng, Avi Liu, and Eliza Oppenheimer, this year’s 51st Junior SING! featured new girl Claire (Arshia Mazumder) and her best friend Agni (Dinah-Luba Beylison). The two were on their way to Camp Smoking Hot, which was divided into four cabins: Wind, Fire, Water, and Earth. While Claire had been placed in the Wind cabin, Agni was placed in the Fire cabin, so they promised each other that they would not allow this division to interfere with their relationship. This promise, however, went up in flames with the introduction of main antagonist Ivy (Alex DiLella), a member of the Earth cabin, and the murder of Skylar (David Jiang), a member of the Wind cabin who made continuous attempts to flirt with Claire.

The show started off with a rendition of “Another Day of Sun,” where members of each cabin came together in joyful anticipation of their experiences ahead. Unfortunately, the lights and sound crew experienced some complications with the opening as many of the actors did not have functioning mics, making it difficult for members of the

Welcome to Camp Smoking NOT

audience to fully understand the lyrics. The camp counselor (Margaret Mikhalevsky) then provided an overview of the camp. Each cabin made their grand entrance, but the Earth cabin was completely overlooked by the camp counselor. The camp counselor announced that the cabins would be competing for the coveted elemental cup and that each cabin must undergo a series of challenges in order to succeed. This intensified rivalry among the cabins, which was followed by a ceremonial tradition featuring a lengthy performance from the thunder brigade: junior step.

The competition began with a game of tug of water between Fire and Water, where actors struggled to untangle the rope in a lengthy but chuckle-worthy technical issue during the Thursday show. In order to ensure their victory, the members of the Fire cabin then brought out the fire demons, junior Bolly, who danced along as the contestants competed. Ultimately, the fire demons lit up the path to victory for the Fire cabin, who rejoiced at their blazing victory. In preparation for the next challenge, the play transitioned to a strong performance by the Water cabin. Members of junior modern turned and leapt to a rendition of “Dusk Till Dawn,” with strong coordination and balance as Claire and Ivy sang along. In the second challenge, the Water cabin and Earth cabin competed

against each other in a boat-racing contest, which ended with the victory of the Water cabin. Earth members were outraged by this outcome, with Ivy especially infuriated by the seemingly unjust circumstances that the Earth cabin was forced to endure.

Following the first two challenges, Ivy and Skylar began to argue over the competition. Ivy declared that he had “no rizz” and Skylar referred to her as a “mudslinger,” which was an earth-shattering point for Ivy. She tied a vine around Skylar’s neck, thereby unintentionally suffocating him to death. Unsure of what to do next, she ran off, abandoning Skylar’s body at the dock of the camp. The camp counselor went onto the dock shortly afterward and found the dead body. In an effort to prevent panic among campers, he decided to resolve the issue himself and not inform the cabins of what had occurred. Afterward, the four cabins met in the cafeteria, with members of each cabin sitting at separate tables. An investigator (August Petry) approached the camp counselor and provided new information about Skylar, revealing that his body presented signs of foul play. Each cabin tried to prove their innocence, but accusations were mostly directed toward the Earth cabin, who reversed the blame onto Claire. Agni immediately defended Claire, arguing that her status as “the new girl” should not au-

tomatically make her the culprit. In the midst of this rivalry, junior hip-hop danced to a rendition of “Manike,” signifying the ongoing battle between the cabins.

The performance shifted into a private conversation between Claire and Agni in which they discussed their relationship. Claire did not want Agni to take the fall for her, but Agni refused, asserting that she would always protect her. The two sang together to a rendition of “El Tejano,” with junior Latin dancing along. Later on, the contestants decided to momentarily forget about the murder and engage in the final archery round of the competition. Prior to the competition, Claire was met with more accusations about the murder, so Agni came to her defense and took responsibility for Skylar’s murder. This shocking scene cut to a performance by junior flow to a musical rendition of “Teeth,” which was rather abruptly integrated without much correlation to prior events. Right before the archery challenge, the cabins sang a rendition of “It’s My Life” in which they discussed the neverending rivalry among the four elements.

Claire and Agni engaged in another private conversation where Claire was conflicted about their relationship due to Agni’s defensive actions. Much to the dismay of the audience, Claire then declared that she “loved” Agni, which was followed by a dramatic solo performance by

Agni in which she sang a powerful rendition of “She Used To Be Mine.” Afterward, Agni was taken by the authorities to be arrested, which transitioned into another junior flow performance. As Skylar’s body was being retrieved, Claire noticed the vine tied around his neck, thus revealing Ivy to be the true murderer. In light of these tumultuous affairs, the camp counselor announced that Junior SING! was the winner of the competition. The campers then came together to sing and dance along to “We Are Young,” celebrating their undivided victory as the curtains closed.

Overall, Junior SING! went down a rocky road throughout the span of the performance. Though the play featured a variety of vocal powerhouses by incredibly talented actors, the costumes in the show were rather washed-out and did not have an eye-catching effect on the audience. Furthermore, dance performances were poorly integrated into the plot, with crews appearing onstage at spontaneous points throughout the play. Unfortunately, the ending of the play was rather underwhelming as it lacked a clear resolution to the conflict described in the plot. It is safe to say that Junior SING! would have been drastically improved by further communication between the crews, given that the show severely lacked cohesion and failed to have a lasting effect on viewers.

By REBECCA BAO and PHOEBE BUCKWALTER

Whether you like it or not, you have just landed yourself a front row seat in the Devil’s Court, watching the Seven Deadly Sins battle it out for Lucifer’s fatherly love and a seat on the throne. Sit back, relax, and hold onto your antidote—you are going to need it.

Senior SING! Coordinator Lianne Ohayon took on the theme of “Seven Deadly Sins” with two prior years of experience under her belt as SophFrosh and Junior SING! Coordinator. Ohayon worked with the Senior SING! crews to ensure that Sin City, capital of Hell, was brought to life with a morbid set, ghastly special effects, stunning costumes, and impressive choreography.

As “Phantom of the Opera Overture” played, the curtains opened to the gloomy landscape of Sin City, smokey and bleak with a deep red and purple color palette. The Seven Deadly Sins had a dramatic musical introduction set to a modified version of SIX’s “Ex-Wives,” welcoming viewers to Hell.

Each of the Seven Deadly Sins had their own distinctive look, with stunningly-crafted costumes and innovative makeup.

Go To Hell

From the hand print on the seat of Lust’s (Oliver Hollmann) baby pink jeans to Sloth’s (Christian Tai) life-size teddy bear, Senior SING!’s costumes perfectly captured each Sin’s unique traits.

The next scene opened with Pride talking into a comicallylarge purple telephone. The Sins sat around a meeting room table for the Sin Report. Lucifer’s booming voice echoed through the chamber as he declared Pride as his successor, announcing that the Sin would take his throne when he abdicated. Pride giddily gloated, singing a victory solo to Christina Aguilera’s “Candyman” with new lyrics.

After Pride’s arrogant solo, Envy and Wrath expressed their resentment toward him; they felt he was undeserving of the throne and unforgivably boastful. Envy launched into her rendition of “jealousy, jealousy” by Olivia Rodrigo, backed by a passionate performance by modern as she plotted to take Pride’s position.

The scene abruptly switched to the Senior Bar, which was converted into a Potion Brewery. Lust attempted to pursue Gluttony with corny pickup lines.

Envy stormed in and commissioned Gluttony to make a death poison “for recreational use.”

The scene suddenly transitioned to Lust’s and Gluttony’s duet;

Lust sang an electrifying rendition of “El Tango De Roxanne” from Moulin Rouge, and Gluttony sang “Sway” by Michael Bublé while creating the poison, with Latin twirling and dipping their way across the stage in an intense dance number.

In a confusing twist, Greed discovered a treasure chest, out of which tech director Ella Chan randomly appeared. The treasure chest plotline was never fully explained, and served as a weak attempt to get a laugh from the audience. It ultimately failed, leading to more confusion than comedy. Greed then launched into his solo, set to “Badtameez Dil” by Benny Dayal and Shefali Alvares, backed by Bolly’s performance in shimmering gold and black costumes. True to character, Greed stole Gluttony’s poisonous potion and its antidote, pocketing them and running offstage.

Envy, Gluttony, and Wrath soon realized the poison had disappeared, and they had a hunch about who stole it—Greed, since he left a shimmering piece of stolen jewelry at the crime scene. Wrath’s fury was reinforced by step’s ground-shaking performance. Soon after, Envy and Wrath secretly plotted to murder Pride; Envy was the brains of the operation and Wrath the unbridled passion.

In the show’s climax, Pride’s dreaded coronation day arrived, expressed in the devils’ singing of a modified “We Will Rock You” by Queen. The day proceeded with a feast, followed by royal entertainment in the form of hip-hop’s dance to “Into You + Bad Idea Medley” by Ariana Grande. Flow then performed “Never Say Die,” leaving Envy and Pride alone together. Envy confronted Pride, charging at him with a knife before launching into a soaring opera performance of “Habanera.” In an anticlimactic twist, Pride revealed that he poisoned Wrath, holding the invaluable antidote out of reach in his hand. He threatened to spill it if Envy moved to stab him. Envy made her final decision and dropped the knife, rushing to Wrath with the antidote and embracing him in a moment of uncharacteristic sacrifice.

All the Sins witnessed the scene and came together to praise Envy’s abrupt act of love. The show ended with the Sins singing “Highway to Hell” to take turns lashing out against Pride. A new reign then began in Sin City, and the show closed with the citizens partying to “Livin’ on a Prayer.”

Despite the play’s dramatic conclusion, many plot points felt unresolved. It was confusing that the Sins would suddenly turn

against Pride after putting up with his irritating antics for thousands of years and unrealistic that Lucifer would not do anything to retaliate against the disobedient Sins. Each of the Sins were well-developed on their own, but together they felt disjointed. The play read more as a character study of the Seven Deadly Sins than a cohesive story. Furthermore, though the show focused excessively on developing the relationship between Envy and Wrath, it mostly failed to develop those between the other Sins, outside of Lust’s shallow flirting with Gluttony. Though Envy’s relationship with Wrath was the most developed, it was somewhat illogical; it seemed uncharacteristic for a Sin to sacrifice power for love. This moment of character growth felt too abrupt, though it was ultimately touching.

Regardless of these shortcomings, the seniors managed to put on an entertaining show that transported the audience into the underworld. Ultimately coming in second place with 1,614 total points, the seniors brought Sin City to life through comedic acting, magnificent vocal performances, detailed costumes, vivid makeup, and a moody set. They managed to make going to hell look almost…appealing…but not quite.

Behind the Scenes of SING!

By THE FEATURES DEPARTMENT Insight on the trials and tribulations of various crews throughout SING!

By JOHNNY LIN

A month before SING!, the tech directors were hard at work coming up with ideas for their sets, materials, and tools. As time went on, these ideas came to fruition, as almost 100 tech members across all grades worked tirelessly to construct the beautiful sets seen during the shows. During these shows, the tech members had to get set pieces on and off the stage in complete darkness, maneuvering through backstage in just under a minute for each scene change. These set pieces were humongous and heavy; they required multiple people to move each of them across the stage.

Sophomore and tech co-director Vanessa Chen first joined the crew during the winter 2021 drama With Their Eyes, and was chosen by fine arts and technology teacher Leslie Bernstein as one of the tech co-directors along with fellow sophomore, Felice Li, for this year’s Soph-Frosh SING! As someone with five shows under her belt, Chen was well-versed in all the aspects of tech, although this was her first time directing a crew of 32 people. “For Soph-Frosh SING! 2022, Felice [Li] and I only had one show’s worth of experience as assistant directors, so when we became tech directors this year, it was a top priority for us to avoid the major issues we had faced last year,” Chen explained.

Since tech crews all work under Bernstein’s supervision in a designated part of the theater, the groups from each grade worked cohesively as one. For example, they would order lumber for the entire production, with each grade claiming what they would like to use and sharing so that each production’s needs were met. “Ordering wood was something new to us as neither of us had participated in the process last year. Our set designs changed multiple times and we had to recalculate how much wood we required, which was one of the most stressful parts of the process. In the end, we ended up buying over $1,000 of wood for our builds,” Chen explained.

After many sleepless nights of planning this year’s SING!, the work of all grades paid off with smashing success. “Looking back, I definitely did not expect soph-frosh to win this year at all, nor did I expect for us to get the most points in both the sets and technical aspects categories across the whole school. I think all of the hard work my fantastic members have put in for the month of preparations has definitely paid off, and I cannot wait to do it again next year,” Chen said.

By ANKITA SAHA

Throughout Soph-Frosh SING! and Junior SING!’s performances, lights and sound was integral in bringing each show’s world to life. For every scene, crew members had to make sure that the lighting was drawing in the audience’s attention, and that the sound was enhancing the dialogue, illuminating the student performances.

Sophomore and sophfrosh lights and sound codirector Christopher Choe

joined the crew during his freshman year, and wanted to share his learning experience, motivating him to take on his leadership role. “I really wanted to share that experience—I had to work with lights and sound with others who didn’t really have much exposure,” Choe shared. “They can also feel the joy of controlling backstage and just using lights and sounds.”

Being in this crew came with some unique challenges. Choe shared that sophfrosh lights and sound had less time in the booth than other grades. “We didn’t have much time, because we had to share the booth with juniors and seniors as well. So we had to write the necessary cues down before our new members joined, and then we had to manage time to help them get into the booth,” Choe explained. While there were some challenges, Choe expressed that he is proud of the work they did: “I feel like we got everything done and just managed very well.”

Junior lights and sound co-director Dorothy Ha shared similar sentiments about her time co-directing Junior SING! She too had experience from previously directing soph-frosh lights and sound. She feels that having the opportunity to direct was an exciting and valuable experience. “We don’t get seen often. I feel like we play a large part in contributing to the show and making sure that everything runs smoothly. And we’re also kind of giving a performance during the show, like, running through the lights and sound and making sure that everything is running,” Ha expressed. “We’re very small, but mighty.”

By DALIA LEVANON

As the overhead lights beam down on the actors’ faces mid-song, their expressions are captured perfectly with exaggerated features and heightened emotion. SING! makeup is far more than beautification and glamor (although there is no shortage of that); it is a necessary tool that amplifies the characters’ personas, allowing the audience to grasp the intensity of the scenes taking place onstage.

The process of brainstorming makeup looks begins far in advance of the actual performance. Junior makeup director Amy Gorreja sought inspiration from color schemes and fantastical elements. “For Earth, I thought of cute little elves or fairies with vines on their faces, arms, and legs,” Gorreja explained.

Soph-Frosh makeup director Julia Klosowiak consulted with her assistant director to model their designs off the royal court theme. “We worked with the cast directors and asked for descriptions of the different characters. This helped us better understand the characters and how they would express and present themselves as individuals,” Klosowiak said. Klosowiak also gained guidance from outside of the student body. “Even the security guards who work at Stuy ended up giving us advice. It was really wholesome and we kept going back to the guard each time we fixed the makeup look for more advice.”

Senior makeup director Synthia Shohel, who began her SING! career as a costume designer, also immersed herself in the characters to build her vision. “Historically, makeup crew has gotten by with little to work with and having more minimal roles, but this year, especially since our characters were ‘evil,’ we had no option but to go big or go home. For very important looks such as Gluttony, Envy and Wrath, it was a lot of brainstorming around a tablet and building off of each other’s ideas. We also had to keep up with whatever costumes we were doing, especially for the vibe of Gluttony just to make sure the face matches the outfit,” Shohel explained. Some of the notes that Shohel distributed to her crew included “Glinda from Wicked vibes,” “black shadows with green glitter” for Envy, and “dark, ‘chocolaty’ brown” eyes and “cherry stickers” for Gluttony. Shohel also said that cultural elements influenced her designs. “The other makeup director, Liz, and I are huge fans of Broadway, and Envy’s look took inspiration from that. We also like to give our crew members trendy materials to work with and that’s why I chose to use gold temporary tattoos for Bolly’s look,” Shohel elaborated.

Once the final looks were decided upon, it was up to the makeup directors to teach their teams how to replicate them. “We did a majority of our practices during midwinter break,” Gorreja revealed. “To make it easier I drew out the makeup looks for them.”

Shohel’s crew struggled to find time to practice their looks while adjusting ideas and staying on top of budgeting. Apart from the remote meetings where the designs were introduced and specific characters were assigned, the crew members only had one week to practice before the production. “On the Monday of the final week, we had our first rehearsal where we were able to pull some models from dance crews and practice our looks on cast. The first day is usually a little hectic, but the other directors and I didn’t pressure our members with things such as timing, and rather [we] let them get used to the atmosphere we’d be working in for the next few days,” Shohel explained.

Since the actors were often unavailable, Shohel’s team turned to other methods of rehearsal. “We practiced mainly with each other, which helped us get closer as a team. Iris [Chan] and I also shared tips that made doing crew makeup easier, such as using setting spray to apply glitter to the eyes or teaching them how to tell what kind of eye shape their dancer/actor has and how to accommodate that so that they can look their best,” Shohel described.

However, Shohel shared that the process did not go off without any hiccups: “On the final Monday, numerous supplies had not come in yet, including makeup wipes! Luckily, we were able to make outside purchases that night that gave us all the products we needed to complete our look and maintain hygiene.”

With the crew members prepped and ready, the day of the show finally arrived. Gorreja recalled the immense pressure that makeup artists face on performance nights. “I honestly think the most challenging part for makeup was getting my hand to stop shaking when August was giving us time stamps.” Gorreja reflected on applying her looks to various cast members: “Doing the girls’ makeup was so chill and we were all just having a blast. The guys, though, kept on flinching and moving away which I found really funny.”

Shohel honored a particular refrain on production nights. “In theater, less is never more, and on our final night we were far more bold with the colors, the contour, the blush, and pretty much everything so that our cast could look their best in their final show ever in high school,” Shohel said.

Gorreja shared her concluding thoughts on this year’s makeup results. “Of course, some things became simpler to account for time, but I’m really proud of how much time my crew took to practice the looks,” Gorreja said. “I don’t think I would change anything about the experience except getting less glitter on my hands. They became literal disco balls.”

Overall, Shohel experienced many of SING! 2023’s highlights: “My favorite moments were definitely when I overheard either the cast or crew complimenting our looks. It made our work feel appreciated and it reaffirmed what I do this for. Makeup is like the war paint we put on our soldiers before we send them off to battle on the stage.”

Jaden Bae / The Spectator

Joey Chen / The Spectator

Natalie Soler / The Spectator

By OLIVIA WOO

Just as a plaster cast supports the bone structure of an arm, the cast of each SING! production formed the backbone of the dynamic show that hit the stage each night. Every member of the cast held the responsibility of memorizing their lines, singing the songs, and donning the costumes that other crews had spent the season creating. On top of this impressive agenda was an even greater task: convincing the audience that they had transformed from a Stuyvesant student to an otherworldly character, from a magical camper to a sinister court jester.

For the cast of Junior SING!, much of the work that went into developing these characters came to fruition even before the show’s plot was developed. From the early days of cast rehearsals, junior cast directors Matthew Monge and August Petry found creative ways to develop chemistry among members and help them tap into their inner campers. “When the script was still being developed, we did these improv games where the characters got into their character and they met their fellow camp members and they intermingled. And we actually used a bunch of that for the final performance,” Monge explained.

The emphasis that the cast directors put on character development as opposed to strict memorization of lines and lyrics proved instrumental in working out issues that arose as show days neared. “Toward the end [of the season], it was mainly panic mode, cutting lines, re-memorizing lines and during the Friday show, rewriting an entire character,” Monge recounted. The ability of cast members to work around absent scene partners and last-minute changes is a testament to the trust that was built up during daily rehearsals.

Likewise, the Soph-Frosh SING! cast directors were remarkably successful in attaining this sense of community and camaraderie, even when dealing with the challenges that came with leading members from two different grades. “Even though we had three sophomores, and one freshman [director], all of us just had this goal where we wanted in every respect, [equal] sophomore and freshman involvement,” sophomore and director Dale Heller said.

Coming into a production as big as SING! in a role as frontand-center as a cast member can be intimidating for freshmen, but the directors prioritized familial dynamics through bonding games and other activities. “I wanted to make sure that we made the freshman feel welcome and never feel for a second that they were not having a good time or [were] underappreciated in the cast,” sophomore and director Adeline Sauberli explained.

Likewise, the directors took the energy that other crews were putting into SING! seriously, and efficiently organized joint rehearsals during which the final production could be pieced together. “We created a schedule based on which days soph-frosh would be on different floors in the building. For example, [we worked] with dance crews on theater days, [and] music on fifth floor days,” sophomore and cast director Zoey Marcus recounted.

Much of the responsibility of integrating other crews’ performances also fell to the cast. “One major challenge that we faced was figuring out what to cut from the show when we were 10 minutes over time,” freshman and assistant cast director Amanda Greenberg said.

Even through the trials and tribulations that arose during SING! season, the directors felt that the strong bonds they formed made the whole experience worth it. “Directing with Matthew [Monge] has genuinely been such a great experience, and I’ve learned so much from the ways our styles interact,” Petry said. “I will always fondly look back on our month directing together.”

By JULIA CHERNOBELSKY

The complex plotline and creative setting of Junior SING!’s elemental summer camp stemmed from the minds of just eight script writers. The script is the first part of the musical that has to be completed. Without the plot outlined, no other crews can begin working. “Once script writers were announced, we created a group chat to start bouncing any and all ideas around with each other, and we

combined the ideas we liked into a single outline within the first two days,” Junior SING! scriptwriter Melody Huang said.

Instantly, the script writers knew that they wanted to create a complex plot that followed a lesbian couple, with some element of murder involved. In order for this to happen, there needed to be some tension at the camp. “By introducing an elemental divide, we were able to define stereotypical personalities for each of our characters, and the competition between the elements would help drive the plot forward,” Huang added.

During that first week, each writer had to draft one scene, and then listen to a run-through with the cast. “We met with the cast directors and faculty advisors to take notes on continuity issues and plot holes and spent the next few days fixing these,” Huang explained. However, the work did not end there. Up until the last day of performances, aspects of the script were being changed in order to fit the play within the one hour limit and maximize plot and character development. “Following Mr. Ramirez’s suggestion, we created three sets of jokes—one for each night depending on the order of the performances that night,” Huang added. By doing this, they ensured that the audience could follow all of the jokes.

However, during the creative process, there were several miscommunications. “We were never able to get all eight script writers into a meeting at once,” Huang said. This was an issue because major decisions were made without everyone’s opinions being considered. “This resulted in some discontinuity when writing the script, as some people missed some of the changes we made, but these were all smoothed out through later edits,” Huang described.

Ultimately, the juniors ended up tying with seniors for points in the script category. The entire show was shaped by the important work the script writers did, as well as the performers’ execution. “I love seeing creations from my own mind come alive on stage. This year, it was especially fulfilling to see audience members cheer for their element assignments with red, white, blue, or green streamer handouts and dive into the world we created using the elemental cards,” Huang concluded.

By EMILY RYU

As the lights hit the stage, the glimmering, silky red dresses and glamorous gold ribbons took the audience back in time to an enchanting royal palace. Soph-Frosh SING! costumes received much praise this year, and rightfully so. Sophomore and costumes director Mirei Ueyama elaborated on the creative process behind these

designs by describing how she needed to strike a balance between historical accuracy and creativity. “We researched the style of the time period and how they could fit the roles of each dance crew or cast member,” Ueyama stated.

Ueyama also described the intense workload that being a costumes director entailed. “It’s a lot of work. We have to procure, budget, and buy the fabric after designing all of the costumes. Then we have to measure crews, teach new members, and create all of the costumes for them,” Ueyama recalled.

Nonetheless, Ueyama is grateful to the costumes members as well as the other directors for making her experience special. Ueyama remarked, “The best conversations are always when we are sewing or cutting fabric in groups, and I love that I get to know each and every member.”

By ABIGAIL JIN

During the dark turning point of SophFrosh SING!, flow lit up the stage in glowing colors. Unlike for the other dance crews, the stage was pitch-black as they stunned the audience with rapidly spinning props. Their members, shrouded in black, showed off their agile moves with their illuminated glowsticks, whips and staffs, putting on a dazzling performance to the catchy song “Queen.”

Sophomore and flow director Fiona Chen joined flow, which also does performances outside of SING!, in her freshman year. “It kind of became the backbone of my Stuy life and my motivation to go to school,” Chen said. “Since flow meant and still means so much to me, I wanted to be able to provide other people the same experiences I had back when I was a newbie and to help them find community here, like I did. Now that I’m a

director, I find it really rewarding to see people connect over the mutual interest of flow.” Flow members are able to have fun bonding over choreography in a community that encourages creativity. For SING!, choreographing routines and organizing the props budget was a large part of Chen’s responsibilities. She also learned to manage and coordinate the crew, which was challenging at times. “I feel like the hardest responsibility as a director is being able to direct the members and make sure that everyone is being respectful to the other crews and their fellow flow members,” Chen explained. Altogether, soph-frosh’s dedicated flow members created a memorable spectacle during SING! “I think I’m pretty satisfied with our performance because even if something gets dropped or if [the] choreo is a little bit off, I know the amount of effort everyone has constantly put in and [I] really appreciate it,” Chen said.

Krystal Khine / The Spectator

Chuer Zhong / The Spectator

Laura Chin / The Spectator

Vanessa Huang / The Spectator

BEST MAIN ACTING PERFORMANCES

1. Lust (Oliver Hollmann, seniors)

Oliver Hollmann brought the heat to Sin City with his portrayal of Lust. As the flamboyant playboy from Hell, Hollmann captured the spontaneous and seductive nature of the sin who lusts after almost anyone in sight. Hollmann’s charismatic character was the perfect comedic relief to the murderous tension looming in Sin City. Every time he walked on stage, laughter was always anticipated from the audience, whom Hollmann seduced with his intuitive charm. From failing to serenade Pain and Panic, and breaking out in his stellar performance of “El Tango de Roxanne,” Hollmann established that his talents extend beyond acting. From beginning to end, Hollmann’s captivating presence was always felt, even when the spotlight wasn’t on him, securing Hollmann the best main acting performance.

2. Agni (Dinah-Luba Beylison, juniors)

Agni, played by junior DinahLuba Beylison, was a bubbly friend looking to have a good time at summer camp. Throughout the show, Beylison brought energy to the stage, continuously rescuing her friend Agni from any harm, from picking her up after tug-ofwar to taking the blame of Claire for Skylar’s murder. Some of the most heartbreaking moments for this character came from Claire

herself blaming Agni for Skylar’s murder and turning away from her as a result. In particular, Agni’s breathtaking rendition of “She Used to Be Mine” epitomized the feeling of forbidden romance after Claire’s confession that she used to love her. One cannot help but root for Agni, making Claire’s resolution with her at the end particularly poignant.

3. Queen Lilith (Andrea Wang, soph-frosh)

Sophomore Andrea Wang brought a funny—almost drunken—performance to Soph-Frosh SING!, playing Queen Lilith, the power-hungry mother of King Andrias who yearned to take the throne from her incompetent son. Wang’s artistic acting gave life to the queen and made her one of the most likable and funny characters. She got the entire audience to laugh at her character’s desire for alcohol and had a wonderful singing performance that lit up the theater. Overall, Wang was one of the best actors in the show and was able to portray the queen as a layered and dynamic character.

4. Envy (Andrea Nalywajko, seniors)

Andrea Nalywajko’s expressions and tone captured the essence of Envy. With Envy’s omnipresent desire to be in the spotlight, Nalywajko effortlessly

portrayed Envy’s increasing discontent with each word uttered by Pride. The tension between Envy and Pride was well conveyed with Nalywajko’s shaking hand holding a knife high, ready to strike. At the same time, Nalywajko also gave Envy a sentimental side through her close relations with Wrath. She was able to portray both Envy’s cold and warm sides through her convincing scowl and acting.

5. Geraldine (Ashvica Sinha, soph-frosh)

Geraldine, played by freshman Ashvica Sinha, brought a wonderful display to Soph-Frosh SING! as the protagonist and anti-hero of the show. Geraldine attempts to kill King Andrias, played by David Son, because of the lack of respect and wanting to have a ruler who appreciates her talent in singing. Sinha delivered a performance as a character that could be hard to relate with but that instead captured the audience’s empathy and heart. While her attempted murder was unsuccessful, Sinha had a strong performance that engaged the audience and had plenty of highlights, such as her rendition of “Feeling Good” and humorous shock when seeing King Andrias alive.

Honorable Mentions: Pride (Berry Ongan, seniors) and King Andrias (David Son, soph-frosh)

BEST VOCAL PERFORMANCES

1. She Used to be Mine (Dinah-Luba Beylison, juniors)

Junior Dinah-Luba Beylison’s exceptional “Used to Be Mine” solo captivated the theater’s attention with her incredible vocal range and singing skill. With each flawless build up to the highs and each descent to the lows, the audience madly cheered in approval, unable to contain their emotions. There was not a single dull moment during her heart-wrenching, powerful verses. Despite being the only character on stage, Beylison’s energetic voice loudly proclaimed its presence, enveloping the entirety of the stage and extending to the rest of the vast theater.

2. El Tango de Roxanne (Oliver Hollmann, seniors)

Senior Oliver Hollmann’s performance of “El Tango de Roxanne” was without question one of the most jaw-dropping moments of Senior SING!. Despite the caliber of the sweeping instrumentals, incredible Latin stunts, and brilliant lighting, Hollmann’s vocals still unquestionably shined. His gruff, yearning vocals brought

goosebumps to one’s skin and perfectly exemplified the feeling of lust. The choice of “El Tango of Roxanne” was a difficult one, but with his vocals and passion, Hollmann flawlessly matched Ewan McGregor and Jacek Koman’s performance in Moulin Rouge.

3. Hopelessly Devoted to You (Andrea Wang, soph-frosh)

In her rendition of “Hopelessly Devoted to You,” sophomore Andrea Wang as Queen Lilith discussed how she feels overlooked and underappreciated by the incompetent King Andrias, venting her character’s frustration in a beautiful musical soliloquy highlighting her vocal range and abilities. This was a pivotal moment for the character, and a standout vocal performance for all of Soph-Frosh SING!.

4. Habanera (Andrea Nalywajko, seniors)

Time froze as Envy was dealt a difficult decision: kill Pride and take the throne, or yield to Pride and save Wrath. Andrea Nalywajko’s opera rendition of “Haba-

nera” reverberated throughout the theater and sent shockwaves across the audience as she contemplated this dilemma. Nalywajko’s impressive vocals allowed for a transparent look into the psyche of Envy’s complicated nature as she made such a consequential decision. Her impressive vocal range persisted all throughout the song, holding the attention of the audience in this tense moment.

5. Feeling Good (Ashvica Sinha, soph-frosh)

Leading up to Geraldine’s performance of “Feeling Good,” no one had yet heard the extent of freshman Ashvica Sinha’s voice, with Sinha instead being represented as a bumbling, comedic protagonist. The song started slowly, with Sinha’s vocals slowly building up, but after the beat dropped, Sinha’s range was able to fully shine. With impressive belting, extensive trills, and a maniacal undertone, she was able to provoke chills in each and every audience member and established a clear vision of her potential power.

BEST NON-PERFORMANCE CREWS

1. Senior Makeup

Everyone looked fabulous on stage, as senior makeup’s work stunned the crowd. Colorful eyeshadow, Greed’s gold mask, and Envy’s deep green lipstick were some of the highlights. These makeup displays were some of the best in recent history, with the makeup bringing life to the characters.

2. Senior Lights and Sound

From the very start, senior lights and sound did a fantastic job, shining the spotlight on each sin in the opening scene and adding a dramatic effect to the show. The sound system was flawless,

and the lights heightened the show experience.

3. Soph-Frosh Tech

Soph-frosh tech’s wonderful set made the Royal Court atmosphere feel complete, with additions including King Andrias’s comically large throne, a massive boiling pot in the kitchen, and a fully-lit hanging chandelier.

4. Senior Costumes

From Envy’s dress to Wrath’s leather jacket, senior costumes did a wonderful job. The deep tones and themed outfits were gorgeously styled, making the perfectly fitted garments a clear

standout of Senior SING!.

5. Soph-Frosh Costumes

With amazing costumes for Theodore (sophomore Dylan Ross) and Ivy (freshman Lily Wagman), soph-frosh costumes certainly did not fail to impress during this year’s SING!. The whole royal court was decked out in elegant costumes and fit the whole theme perfectly, making the costumes the cherry on top of a wonderful Soph-Frosh SING! season.

Honorable Mentions: senior props, junior art

BEST COSTUMES, MAKEUP, AND STYLING

1. Lust’s Makeup (Oliver Hollmann, seniors)

2. Envy’s Costume (Andrea Nalywajko, seniors)

3. Greed’s Makeup (Max Hesse, seniors)

4. Senior Bolly’s Costumes (seniors)

5. Wrath’s Costume (Ben Balodis, seniors) Honorable mentions: Jester (Ashvica Sinha, soph-frosh), Sloth’s Nightgown (Christian Tai, seniors), Ivy’s Dress (Lily Wag man, soph-frosh)

BEST SUPPORTING ACTING PERFORMANCES

1. Skylar (David Jiang, juniors) Skylar, played by junior David Jiang, was a refreshing and muchneeded source of comedy for Junior SING!. With his unrequited advances toward Claire and his cumbersome saxophone, every appearance on theme was met with immense laughter and excitement. Even in death, Skylar was a standout character with memorable moments, from his attempted resuscitation to him being dragged off the stage.

2. Theodore (Dylan Ross, sophfrosh)

Theodore, the opening character for Soph-Frosh SING!, was dragged onto the stage by fan-favorite dynamic duo, Mr. Citron and Ms. Maggio. Sophomore Dylan Ross played the role of the king’s advisor with perfect diction, execution, and confidence. Not to forget, he never failed to crack the crowd

up with an improvised joke or by saving the show from mistakes.

3. Sloth (Christian Tai, seniors)

Senior Christian Tai played Sloth, the embodiment of the sleepy Stuyvesant student trope. Donning an oversized white robe and comfortable slippers, and dragging a life-sized teddy bear alongside him, Sloth dragged himself across the stage and didn’t fail to get a laugh from the audience due to his delayed sleepy responses and relatable nature.

4. Narrator (Rachel Alvarez, soph-frosh)

Sophomore Rachel Alvarez was the narrator of Soph-Frosh SING! and lead singer of the opener, a remix of “Alexander Hamilton.” She introduced each character with her bright personality, memorizing an impressive number of lines. Alvarez confidently executed every

movement as she moved around the stage and set the scene for the audience.

5. Ivy Barnes (Lily Wagman, soph-frosh)

Despite her lack of extensive screen time, Ivy, played by freshman Lily Wagman, was a clear standout performer in Soph-Frosh SING!. Her conflict with her dad’s expectations is undoubtedly relatable for many Stuyvesant students, and Wagman’s acting beautifully portrayed this struggle. Ivy’s blossoming feelings for Princess Azalea were equally well-represented with timid advances and awkward confessions. Even in background conversations, Ivy’s overt joy when speaking to Azalea clearly demonstrated Wagman’s acting caliber.

Honorable mentions: Princess Azalea (Jane No, soph-frosh), Smoking Hot (Margaret Mikhalevsky, juniors)

BEST MOMENTS

1. Soph-Frosh Opening Scene (soph-frosh)

With their rendition of “Alexander Hamilton,” the soph-frosh opening set the stage for the entire show. The song introduced all notable characters and gave necessary context to the show, along with sophomore Andrea Wang’s stunning vocals as Queen Lilith. The performance was incredible, highlighting the immense prowess of Soph-Frosh SING!.

2. Dragging Skylar’s Body (juniors)

After Skylar was strangled to death by a vine, his limp body was comically dragged all across the stage by an FBI agent, junior Daniel Murdoch. The scene was

a slapstick inclusion that brought laughter across the crowd.

3. Cameo of “Earth Wind & Fire” (juniors) Each time “earth, wind, fire, and water” was uttered, Ms. Brandan, Mr. Ramirez, and Mr. Portales rhythmically stepped across the front of the stage as the band “Earth, Wind & Fire.” What made it notable was how unexpected and random their quick dance across the stage was. The trio added a hilarious pause and were smoothly integrated into the competitive scenes between the cabins.

4. King Andrias Performing “Uptown Funk” (soph-frosh)

To fuel his massive ego and

herald in another extravagant party within the kingdom of Staten Island, freshman David Son as King Andrias stars in his own musical act, complete with twerking and backup dancers.

5. Envy Saving Wrath (seniors) Wrath and Envy, played by seniors Ben Balodis and Andrea Naylwaljko, warmed all of our hearts when Envy decided not to kill her lifelong enemy, Pride, to get the antidote of a poison administered to Wrath.

Honorable Mentions: Wrath’s positive affirmations (seniors), Lucifer’s booming voice (seniors), “Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss” banner (soph-frosh)

BEST DANCE PERFORMANCES

1. Senior Bolly Senior Bolly’s black and golden outfits were some of the most stunning in the performance, paired with the most skilled and impressive dance routine. Through upbeat movements, spins, and acting, the crew told a story in the dance, making it impossible to tear your eyes away from the performance, truly capturing their show with their mesmerizing moves.

2. Soph-Frosh Latin

Despite being performed by underclassmen, soph-frosh Latin exceeded that of nearly every other dance crew across all grades. The routine was full of pair dancing and everything from flips to spins, shocking the audience with the

dancers’ immense talent and skill. With two performances, the routine shocked and impressed the crowd.

3. Junior Modern As the graceful crew waltzed in, they brought with them transcendent nature of waves to Camp Smoking Hot. Their delicate and seamless twirls complemented Arshia Mazumder’s rendition of “Dusk Till Dawn.” Their cartwheels and effortless stunts established them as a memorable aspect of the show.

4. Senior Latin In accordance with the sultry theme of “El Tango de Roxanne,” senior Latin was a passionate and

eye-catching spectacle. With backbending kicks and spins, the performance perfectly represented the theme of lust, and the jaw-dropping stunts only added to it. Likewise, their dancing during “Sway” matched the mood precisely, with this more upbeat number greatly contributing to the song’s illusion.

5. Soph-Frosh Bolly Soph-frosh Bolly’s upbeat performance of “Sooraj Dooban Hain” was a standout of SophFrosh SING!. With the graceful movement of the dancers and the high-tempo music, it was an incredibly fun watch for the audience.

Honorable mentions: senior flow, senior hip-hop

BEST BAND PERFORMANCES

1. Alexander Hamilton (soph-frosh)

2. Kahoot Lobby Music (seniors)

3. Dusk Till Dawn (juniors)

4. Feeling Good (soph-frosh)

5. Smooth Criminal (seniors) Honorable mentions: Into You (seniors), Ghostbusters (seniors)

These articles are works of fiction. All quotes are libel and slander.

Soph-Frosh SING!: Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss!

By ERICA CHEN, ALEXANDER CHU, and RAVINDRA MANGAR

Welcome to the Kingdom of Staten Island! It’s so far away from Stuyvesant High School that none of the audience members could make out the lyrics of the songs they sang. You know, for a bunch of Soph-Frosh, the way they restrained themselves from making a Sophomore Bar joke was commendable—I know that took real restraint.

All the meta-jokes about climate change and inflation didn’t take away from the major point of the show: an alcohol addiction is a good coping mechanism, especially when it comes to mommy issues. Honestly, it all comes around as a bit of a trauma dump, with all of the “But you love me, right??? Because I’m your son?” (I know I said that to my dad before he left.)

But that’s okay, because you know what? We all got to see a 15-year-old shake his peach in front of a couple hundred people for free, and yet, none of us are going to jail.

SING! Reviews

Smoking Hot Takes on Junior SING!

By ERICA CHEN, RAVINDRA MANGAR, and OLIVER HOLLMANN

Behold! Stuyvesant High School’s very own Bible summer camp, featuring not Jesus…but Avatar?!

The main storyline of Junior SING! was this: the quirky and spirited Fire cabin dramatically clashed with the spirited and quirky Wind cabin, which dramatically clashed with the quirky and spirited Earth cabin, which THEN dramatically clashed even more with the spiritfilled and quirked-up Water cabin. Oh yeah, and throw in an obsessive lover!

Despite the holiness they were supposed to uphold, they successfully killed off a character (psst, Soph-Frosh SING! and Senior SING!, take notes). On top of that, they managed to get the audience to appreciate Skylar’s murder, sparing them from the giga-cringe that would come if he uttered one more piece of attempted rizz.

As for who killed Skylar, Junior SING! heartwarmingly reminded us that when in times of internal crisis, we should collectively solve our problems by turning on each other and gaslighting everyone. Why reasonably play detective when you can instead commit arson for fun and then hook up with the accused murderer to thereby escape criminal persecution with a wholesome love confession?

Overall, Junior SING! managed to crank out a show that proficiently combined the forces of Water, Earth, Fire, Wind, and absolutely mid writing. And for those who came to see their friends onstage: in the end, what really mattered was the friends we ignored on the way.

Senior SING! Goes Up in Hellfire

By ERICA CHEN and RAVINDRA MANGAR

If there is anything that Senior SING! has taught us, it’s that an antidote to poison equates to protection during sex. If there is anything else that the show has taught us, it’s that we all need Mr. Wan’s Ultra Moisturizing daily facial skincare routine.

Disregarding the much needed rizz tricks—or rather, what NOT to do when trying to pull someone—seniors: are you okay? We all know it is your last semester at this school, and you wanna try out the Hudson Staircase hookup before you graduate, but did you need to tell all of us that? There were CHILDREN in the audience.

Even with the abundant levels of self-expression and freedom of speach, they chose off-screen violence and gatekeeped the ending of the play (we all know it was because their smol Soph-Frosh brains did not have the brain capacity to even come up with one). Not very slay of them.

Evidently, the only reason why Soph-Frosh SING! won is because they singlehandedly solved the national debt issue—just print more money! They handled the situation like a girlboss, and the audience was so proud of them that they were willing to excuse the sheer amount of props that was dropped into the band pit.

Everyone was gaslighted into thinking that Soph-Frosh SING! was a good show.

Everything else about Senior SING! can be disregarded—who cares about a silly little scrimmage between Envy, who clearly cared about the love of her life more than the job offer (which defeats the entire Senior SING! plotline), and Pride, who threw away all their pride while throwing

a bajillion tantrums? What we need is the solution to rizzing people up, NOT a tantrum!

But seeing that we are already here…what is the solution to the tantrum? Being CANCELLED, of course, and while we have no confirmation of there being Twitter in hell (that would probably be a paradox), we are once again reminded that the solution to all problems in life (death?) is to use the power of friendship to unionize against one’s pride.

Even with none of the seven deadly sins being deadly, and no one actually getting killed, Senior SING! would like to remind us that maybe the real sinners are us ourselves and that when dealing with how to un-sin or how to get rizz (or both?), always use protection.

Top Fives

BEST JOKES

“My crystal ball predicts that the seniors will have a cast director!” —Dumbledore (Frayn Colyn Navales, soph-frosh)

“[Dumbledore] predicted that my husband would cheat on me, and that he did! With my mother!” —Woman (soph-frosh)

“An antidote is like protection. And you should always use protection.” —Lust (Oliver Hollmann, seniors)

“Hey, from now on, you refer to me as ‘girlboss’.” —King Andrias (David Son, soph-frosh)

“Is your name Scarlett O’Hara? Becuse when I saw you, my heart was gone with the wind.” —Skylar (David Jiang, juniors)

BEST DISSES

“It’s not that hard to untangle, like the Junior SING! rope.” —Dumbledore (Frayn Colyn Navales, soph-frosh)

“One time, he threatened to send me to summer camp with a bunch of elemental weirdos.” —Ivy Barnes (Lily Wagman, soph-frosh)

“Our next game was supposed to be King of the Court but I think acting like SophFrosh would make this situation wayyy worse…” —Smoking Hot (Margaret Mikhalevsky, juniors)

“My cake! Why would you do that!? It's so fragile like Senior Slate’s ego!” —King Andrias (David Son, soph-frosh) “Sorry, I was just copying this down for Senior SING!’s script.” —Prisoner (Dylan Ross, soph-frosh)

1. Thursday: Tangled Rope (juniors)

During the tug-of-war contest between the Wind and Fire cabins in Junior SING!, the rope they had planned to use was given to them completely tangled. Thankfully, there was some good improvisation that saved the show. Except for when some Soph-Frosh scouts in the crowd saw…

BEST MISTAKES

2. Friday: Jester Not Coming on Stage (soph-frosh)

At the end of Soph-Frosh SING!, Theodore Pesto Pinderson was stuck in a cage alone, waiting for the jester to come for their scene. He made the best of a bad situation, and improved well, giving a chuckle in the audience. The jester was supposed to come out, but got stuck in the makeup

room, resulting in an altered closing scene.

3. Friday: “ENOUGH!” (seniors)

Mr. Wan made a cameo appearance in Senior SING! on Friday, but ended up saying his line a bit too early, in what was a funny moment. He said “ENOUGH,” and then quickly apologized, but

the microphone still caught it.

4. Thursday: The Unchanging Scoreboard (juniors)

Throughout the many competitions between the cabins in Junior SING!, such as tug-of-war and boat racing, the scoreboard was never updated and remained at zero despite there being victories.

5. Friday: Dropped Peach (soph-frosh)

The peach prop fell on the stage in the beginning of the show, and was picked up subtly by an extra. It was a slightly amusing moment, as the thud on stage was unexpected. Otherwise, SophFrosh SING! was largely successful.

Listen to all the songs here

Sooraj

SING! Scoreboard

SING! Playlist & Scoreboard

SING! 2023 Playlist

By THE ARTS AND ENTERTAINMENT DEPARTMENT

SENIOR

on a Prayer Bon Jovi

SCIENCEBEAT

Mosquitoes: The Extinction Dilemma

By GARY JIANG

It is a warm summer day, and you are pumped to finally go outside and play basketball with your friends. With no schoolwork on your mind, you put on your favorite pair of shoes and step outside. However, instead of being greeted by your friends, you encounter the notorious buzzing of mosquitoes. Soon enough, you will be itching all over and wondering why mosqui toes even exist. Surely the benefits of removing all mosquitoes out weigh the consequences, right?

With the advent of recent gene technologies, gene drives may prove to be the solution to the mosquito crisis. This new advancement will allow certain genes to propagate throughout a population, eventu ally causing all offspring to carry the artificial gene. Gene drives are cost-efficient and effective, making them a perfect tool to be utilized worldwide. Though the answer to the mosquito elimination question may seem obvious, many factors make it more complicated than it initially appears.

Many people see mosquitoes as merely annoying pests, but in reality, they are the most dangerous creatures on Earth, responsible for 725,000 human deaths per year. The reason for this is not the mosquitoes themselves, but because they carrymany potent diseases. One of these is malaria, the most infamous mosquito-borne disease, which makes up 600,000 of the annual mosquito-caused human deaths. While we live in the United States where malaria is not a risk, other countries, specifically those in Africa, suffer from it. Due to the uneven distribution of wealth throughout much of Africa, some countries cannot afford malaria treatment for their populations. Tropical climates are also perfect for mosquitoes to thrive in, meaning that areas around

the equator are most susceptible to their destruction. Non-profit organizations such as the World Health Organization and the World Mosquito Program are actively fighting and supporting mosquito control initiatives around the world in an attempt to suppress malaria once and for all.

gers to modern mosquito control methods. Anopheles gambiae cases dropped by 340,000 from 2000 to 2015, but this steep decline has not continued. While Anopheles gambiae targets primarily rural areas, Anopheles stephensi targets urban populations, threatening to spread malaria in densely populated cit-

tion, insecticides and other chemicals are losing effectiveness as mosquitoes slowly develop immunity to them. This is because every so often, a mosquito will have a gene that grants it immunity to certain insecticides, allowing it to easily reproduce and spread that gene to its offspring. As new technology and treatments are constantly being made, the global cost of mosquito treatment continues to grow, reaching an astounding $1.28 trillion from 1970 to 2017.

The Hubble Space Telescope spotted a bright streak of light extending away from its origin galaxy; this may be the first sign of a runaway blackhole that escaped after two galaxies collided.

and biting someone else. For example, malaria is caused by parasites in the Plasmodium group carried by mosquitoes. When the mosquito bites, malaria travels through its saliva, entering and attacking the body by residing in the bloodstream and destroying red blood cells. This can lead to symptoms such as anemia, fevers, and chills, with treatment consisting of antiparasitics. Malaria can be lethal if the wrong drug is administered or if it goes untreated.

The two most infamous mosquito species responsible for malaria are Anopheles stephesi and Anopheles gambiae, both of which are native to Africa. Anopheles stephensi is seen as much more deadly than Anopheles gambiae as its behavioral patterns differ greatly from its native counterpart, posing dan-

ineffective. This is because they have evolved to counter bednets, giving them the instinct to bite right before nighttime. They also reside outdoors, avoiding indoor insecticides.

Not only is mosquito control extremely expensive, but it can do more harm than good. Common forms of mosquito control include the use of bednets and insecticides. Bednets protect people while they sleep and consist of insecticidecovered nets, while sprayable insecticides actively target live mosquitoes and their larvae. However, insecticides are dangerous for the surrounding environment as they can kill helpful creatures like bees and fireflies. In fact, on average, pesticides reach their target only 0.1 percent of the time. In addi-

However, there is a solution to fix all of humanity’s mosquito problems: gene drives. A gene drive is a process that allows scientists to spread certain genes throughout a species. This can be beneficial as gene drives suppress harmful genes, such as those that allow mosquitoes to transport malaria. This is known as an anti-plasmodium transgene, targeting the mosquitoes’ ability to host the malaria parasite. With the development of gene editing technology such as CRISPR, gene drives can be artificially created easily. In a 2018 study, gene drives were used to make female mosquitoes—the ones that bite humans—sterile within a controlled environment. It was successful, leading to all of the females within the mosquito population becoming sterile after 12 generations. With no females able to reproduce, this resulted in a rapid decline in mosquito numbers.

Gene drives are still relatively new and researchers have never purposely wiped out an entire species before. There are many uncertainties with a project of this scale, as mosquitoes are prey for animals in many ecosystems; completely wiping them from the face of the earth would cause drastic changes. A more dangerous creature may absorb the niche, or role, of the mosquito in its ecosystem, and there is no reliable way to gauge the consequences of this. Due to these uncer-

At a MoMA (Museum of Modern Art) exhibition, artist Refik Anadol used artificial intelligence to create an artwork of continuously shifting imagery and sound, titled Unsupervised

After combining hundreds of thousands of radio images of more than 600,000 pairs of galaxy clusters, astronomers observed the presence of shock waves that could “shake” the cosmic web and allow researchers to further examine the origins of largescale magnetic fields

tainties, scientists are attempting to create countermeasures to reverse the process if necessary. But most importantly, there is a moral aspect to wiping out an entire species and “playing God.” If humans can now completely destroy any species they want, what doesthat mean for the future? However, gene drives can also be seen as beneficial because they give scientists the ability to suppress any catastrophically harmful species. As you swat away mosquitoes from your legs, maybe you are relieved that the end of this pesky bug could soon become a reality. Or, maybe you are concerned about what this project could bring if humans begin to utilize gene drives’ ability to destroy whole populations. As uncertainties are revealed and research improves, mosquitoes and gene drives will mark the start of a new era of gene research.

Unleashing the Creative Potential of AI: The Artistic Revolution

By VINSON CHEN

You have spent the past two hours scrolling through your social media feed instead of doing your homework. Right when you decide to finally quit scrolling and be productive, something on your feed catches your eye: a hyper-realistic painting of a cute cat wearing a suit. As you admire the painting, you open the caption to find out which incredible artist made this artwork, hoping to follow them. Surprise! It was actually made entirely by AI. But how is it possible that AI can create such realistic artwork?

AI, short for artificial intelligence, is the ability of a computer to mimic human problem-solving and learning. This field is currently expanding rapidly into multiple industries, including the art industry.

The foundation of early AI art was based on computer art. Frieder Nake was a prominent computer art creator in the 1950s and ‘60s. Nake’s art consists of simple geometric shapes, such brightly colored squares. He assigned each geometric shape a number, which was then assigned a color and size. The computer then randomly generated numbers to create patterns, which were combined together to make the final product.

In 1973, artist and computer scientist Harold Cohen coded a set of algorithms known as AARON, which became the first major form of AI art. Cohen created AARON to mimic his own artistic style by coding rules for it to follow. Unlike Nake’s art, AARON was able to draw freehand lines rather than just geometric shapes, making the

art more human-like. AARON used the rules set by Cohen, along with its preceding strokes, to decide how to draw the next line.

AARON was hooked up to a robotic arm that spread ink on a canvas based on the AI’s decisions. At first, it was only able to create simple, abstract artworks made of black and white lines, but by following more advanced algorithms, it became capable of drawing more complex and colorful art pieces. Though AARON could create an infinite number of original artworks, it is only able to create artworks within the style coded by Cohen. If AARON was to create art in new styles, Cohen would have to code new rules. Entirely autonomous AI art that was capable of learning new styles did not become available until decades later.

After years of research and development, huge strides in machine learning have revolutionized AI, including AI art. Machine learning is a division of AI, which is defined as the ability of a computer to learn without direct human intervention. It is made possible by the AI model analyzing huge amounts of information. This analysis is done through a method called deep learning, a subset of machine learning where massive amounts of data are analyzed in layers, mimicking the way the human brain learns. It allows for data to be analyzed more comprehensively, leading to more realistic AI art. Deep learning also makes text-to-image AI art possible, which allows us to analyze millions of images associated with words and classify them into groups.

Generative adversarial networks (GANs) are a type of machine learning model invented in 2014. They utilize deep learning to generate products, such as art. The defining feature of GANs is their use of two neural networks, which are computer programs composed of artificial neuron “nodes.” One

the discriminator analyzes the image from the generator and tries to determine if the image is a “fake” image produced by the generator or a “real” image produced by humans. This process repeats until the generator produces an image that fools the discriminator into believing that it was made by humans.

With its recent boom in popularity, AI art has sparked controversy on whether its benefits outweigh its drawbacks. One benefit of AI art is being able to create an infinite number of original artworks very quickly. This makes art more accessible to the general public; people can use free art generated by AI rather than spending time creating art or spending money commissioning an artist.

Despite the fact that AI art does come with a list of great benefits, it also has ethical dilemmas. Though increased accessibility to art is beneficial to the general public, AI art also competes with traditional artists. For instance, in 2022, an artwork created by AI received the first place award at the Colorado State Art Fair, enraging many traditional artists. Another prominent issue often brought up with AI art is the ethics concerning where credit is given. Modern AI art generators that use deep learning are only made possible through the analysis of huge image databases. When AI creates art, it does not credit any of the original artists or photographers whose artworks it analyzes; many have argued that this is a violation of copyright laws.

neural network is the generator and the other the discriminator. The generator uses deep learning to analyze many photos of the same subject and teach itself what that subject looks like. The generator then uses its learning to recreate a picture of the subject. Afterwards,

Using this method, the generator and discriminator train each other to improve their artworks’ realism. When a user inputs a prompt into an AI art generator, the AI finds the images classified under those words and uses analysis to generate art using them.

The popularity of AI art has recently exploded and shows no signs of slowing down. There are already hundreds of advanced AI art generators that create hyperrealistic artworks. Many of them are programs that you can try out for free yourself, such as Craiyon AI, NightCafe, and Fotor. Though AI art is shrouded in controversy, there is no questioning that it has already established its place in the art industry.

Stefanie Chen / The Spectator

Veronika Duvanova / The Spectator

Bird Flu: The Mastermind Behind Rising Egg Prices

By RYAN LIN

You walk around in your local supermarket, looking to check off the last item from your grocery list: eggs. You feel outraged as you notice that the price of eggs has skyrocketed since your last visit.

Since late last year, the average cost of a dozen Grade A large eggs has doubled to $4.82. Some retailers sell them for more than $10, while others smuggle cheaper eggs into the U.S. from Mexico, where a 30-count carton of eggs costs only $3.40. According to the United States Department of Agriculture, New York wholesale prices for large cartoned eggs delivered to retailers have increased from $0.15 to $2.80 over the past few months.

Worldwide outbreaks of avian influenza, also known as bird flu, are one major reason for the recent increase in egg prices. This highly pathogenic virus spreads among wild birds, birds of prey, waterfowl, and domestic birds. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), it has been detected in approximately 6,000 wild birds and more than 58 million commercial poultry since the beginning of 2022. Though it has been spreading on a global scale since October 2021, the ongoing rise in cases in the United States has wiped out tens of millions of wild and farmed birds. Countless factories have been forced to cull their egg-laying hens to prevent further infections. This makes it the largest avian influenza outbreak in U.S. history.

As its name suggests, avian influenza typically targets birds, not mammals. However, a recent outbreak in a mink fur farm in Spain is worrying many scientists. The densely populated environment in farms creates a perfect place for the virus to genetically mutate and gain traits that make it dangerous and transmissible to humans. Recent tests have shown that the virus has already acquired at least

By UMA SUKHU and OLIVIA ZHENG

Stuyvesant is a very special school, not only because of its academics, but also because of its building. The building tends to be overlooked, but its quirks make it unique for a New York City public high school. Not only is it located right on the Hudson River, but it is also a massive 10 story building with escalators. There is a lot to explore on those 10 floors, so we reached out to the student body for questions about their school, and answered a selection below.

1. Were there any special considerations for Stuyvesant’s architecture due to its location?

Nearly all of Battery Park City was built on land extended from the natural Manhattan island. The development of the area was based on a plan from the ‘60s and used material excavated from when the World Trade Center was built. Further inland, the old piers in the area were replaced with this material as well. Cellular cofferdams, dams made of interconnected steel boundaries that are filled with sand to withstand water pressure, were built on the border of the new land. Building developments on top of the newly constructed land required driving piles down to the bedrock for support.

At the time, the building was the first built directly by the Bat-

one of these mutations. The virus has also been detected in wild mammals such as grizzly bears, skunks, and otters. As it transfers from birds to mammals, scientists wonder if humans may be next.

Despite its high mortality rates, bird flu has neither come close to reaching pandemic status nor is it widespread among humans. To be considered a pan demic, it must be internationally widespread and be persis tently transmitted among humans. According to the World Health Organization, between January 2003 and 2023, there were 868 confirmed cases of human infection globally. The fatal ity rate in humans is 53 percent, or 457 deaths. In February 2023, Cambodia report ed two human cases of bird flu—the first since 2014. Humans can get bird flu through close contact with infected birds and contact with infect ed surfaces contami nated with infected sa liva or feces. The CDC states that some people who are infected may not have any symptoms at all, while others may experi ence anything from mild flu-like symptoms to more serious ones like pneumonia. These symp toms vary depending on the strain of the virus, with the two most common in humans being H5N1 and H7N9. These two strains differ in their mode of infection; H5N1 replicates within organs outside the respiratory tract, while H7N9 targets the nasal passages and upper respiratory tract. Those who are most vulnerable are pregnant people, immunocompromised people, and those over the age of 65.

Though humans are not easily infected, many scientists are now

researching the possibility of a bird flu pandemic. All pathogens must meet three important criteria to have the potential to develop into a human pandemic: the pathogen must easily spread between humans, cause human disease, and be something that most human immune systems have never been

when humans, especially those who work with poultry, come into contact with infected birds. To add on, the spread of the virus from a human to those in close contact is extremely rare. Like any virus, H5N1 uses the hemagglutinin 5 protein to bind to receptors on the surface of host cells and attack them. In birds, this protein can bind to the respiratory and digestive tract cell receptors, causing difficulty in breathing and re-

Moving Stairs and Other

tery Park City Authority (BPCA), the administrative body in charge of planning and regulating the area. This means the building follows BPCA’s guidelines to a tee; it has a two or three-story stone base and an earth-toned façade with green detailing.

2. When is it faster to take the escalator instead of the stairs?

Walking up the stairs is not fun for students—especially when they are lugging around 10-pound backpacks—but it can be faster than riding the escalators. To prove this assertion, we must examine whether it is more efficient to take the stairs or the escalator depending on the number of floors being traveled.

The data collected represents the time it took us to travel around Stuyvesant, but students climb stairs carrying different loads and in different physical shapes. Students also differ greatly in how much they are willing to tire themselves while going upstairs, as well as whether they wish to use escalators. Times can also vary with different levels of crowding in staircases and escalators. However, it is still valuable to examine the data, the results of which can be roughly applied to the entire student body.

According to our calculations, it takes 38 seconds to move up a two-story escalator standing in place, and roughly 26 seconds to walk down an empty hallway

sulting in efficient virus transmission. Though humans have similar receptors in their respiratory systems, they are not as vulnerable to the virus for reasons currently unknown. More importantly, the virus is unable to bind to the majority of human receptors. These receptors are highly concentrated in the nose, providing a shield against infection when breathing. Though current research proves a pandemic unlikely, it is difficult to predict the potential dangers bird flu may pose, especially because the virus could mutate to infect humans more easily. Influenza viruses like avian flu are able to mutate easily and pick up mutations as they multiply within their hosts. However, the potential for destruction does not just end there. Influenza viruses can undergo a process called reassortment, which occurs when two different influenza viruses infect the same host cell. They exchange parts of their genomes with each other to create an entirely new virus, which may give bird flu the genes it needs to become easily transmissible amongst humans. Though reassortment between viruses is statistically rare, it has happened before. In 2009, pigs were simultaneously infected with avian influenza and human influenza, creating a new variant of swine flu, a virus that originates in the porcine respiratory system. During the 2009 swine flu pandemic, 60 million Americans were infected, resulting in 12,469 deaths. The exchange of genetic information during the pandemic allowed bird flu to acquire the tools it needed for human-to-human transmission; by coexisting with other viruses in the same organisms, it gained some of

Investigations

to reach the next escalator. This means that it takes one minute and four seconds to travel every two floors.

When timing our stair-climbing, we began on the second floor, as this is the first floor with escalators. We ended on the ninth floor, the last floor with escalators. We climbed the stairs at a walking pace and accounted for any time we used to catch our breath.

We recorded that climbing the first flight of stairs with a backpack of around 12 pounds takes approximately 19 seconds. Due to increasing exhaustion, subsequent floors each took a few seconds longer to traverse. The second flight took 21 seconds, the third took 23 seconds, the fourth took 25 seconds, the fifth took 28 seconds, the sixth took 30 seconds, and the seventh took 33 seconds. As flights for different floors are not separated by halls, no additional time was considered for that distance.

Looking exclusively at these results, it would appear that for us, and likely for many others, it is quicker to take the stairs regardless of the number of floors traveled.

3. How much faster would hallway traffic move if students got on the first escalator step available instead of the second or third?

Escalator etiquette is a tricky thing—it is uncomfortable to

human influenza’s traits.

The government does have preparative measures in place, so if avian influenza were to develop into a human pandemic, we would have protection. The U.S. government currently has a stockpile of human vaccines for the bird flu’s H5N1 and H7N9 strains. These vaccines are egg-based, meaning that manufacturers inject the attenuated virus into a fertilized chicken egg. As the egg is incubated for a few days, the virus multiplies and is harvested for the vaccine.

When determining which vaccine to give a patient, doctors diagnose the bird flu strain based on symptoms and laboratory testing, collecting a swab from the nose or throat. There are also vaccines available for birds, but they are not widely used due to their ineffectiveness and high cost. In addition to these targeted vaccines, oseltamivir, a drug used to treat common forms of the flu, has been shown to treat human cases of the bird flu effectively.

Fortunately, humans cannot be infected by eating eggs or fullycooked poultry. According to the CDC, properly cooked poultry and eggs at an internal temperature of 165˚F kills bacteria and viruses, including bird flu. Undercooked products may not be safe, as viruses and bacteria can survive at lower temperatures. For most, avian influenza is not a major health concern. The real concern right now lies in the agricultural industry. Eggs and poultry products serve as relatively cheap and important sources of protein on a global scale. With drastic price increases, the cost-of-living crisis could worsen as people of low socioeconomic status are slowly stripped of a reliable source of protein. However, wholesale egg prices may soon provide consumers relief—prices have gone down to near normal levels this month. For now, people can continue to enjoy their breakfast omelets without having to break the bank.

stand too close to someone or their backpack. Thus, Stuyvesant students often wait for one or two stairs to pass before boarding an escalator. To determine how much more efficient Stuyvesant escalator usage could be, we observed the frequently crowded four to six escalator.

Seconds after the passing period began, escalator riders moved slowly. As traffic quickly picked up, the group fanned out around the entrance. During the first minute of the passing period, 43 students got on the escalator. During that time, 22 of them waited for one or more stairs to pass before getting on, and 24 students left one or more steps between them and the person immediately in front. Even if they got on right away, many students did not walk up to close the gap between them and the next person.

Based on the first minute of passing, an estimate for the number of people riding a given escalator per passing time is 215. About half of them are predicted to either skip steps or leave stairs in between themselves and others. Despite each stair taking a fraction of a second to move out, most people’s pauses were between one and two seconds long. Thus, within a given passing time, an average of 2.5 minutes is wasted by people’s hesitation. In reality, this number is lower, perhaps 1.5 minutes, because we observed the rate

of students riding the escalator increase—and the number of people pausing decrease—as the next period approached and more people piled onto the escalator. Still, assuming there is a steady supply of students, the equivalent of 1.5 minutes worth of students would be able to get on the escalator if nobody hesitated, equating to 65 extra students.

However, Stuyvesant escalators could be even more efficient. If at least 24 steps are being skipped per minute, at least 120 students lose a spot on the escalator each passing period. Considering that each step can hold two students, that number is 240 students. With every other step being occupied by one or two students, it would be possible for 455 students to ride the escalator if everyone climbed up behind the person in front of them, though by that point it might be a question of how many students are available in the first place.

Currently, traffic on an escalator is about 43 students per minute, but could be above 60 students per minute if nobody paused before getting on. However, by reducing the amount of skipped or half-full stairs, that number could theoretically reach 90 students per minute, or even more. If Stuyvesant students move more efficiently, at least twice the number of people would be able to ride the escalator, and the surrounding crowd would move twice as quickly.

Sophia Li / The Spectator

By ERICA WONG

Thump thump thump. One hundred thousand times a day, a fistsized organ beats as we walk, read, write, talk, and sleep. Protected by our skin, strong muscles, delicate tissue, and ribcage is one of the most vital organs in the human body: the heart. The circulatory system enables oxygen and nutrient-rich blood to be transported throughout the body, which is key in maintaining organ homeostasis. The heart is the center of the circulatory system, connecting a network of arteries, veins, and capillaries—all of the delicate equipment needed for survival.

Each heart is unique; every heart is a different size depending on body shape, body mass, and genetic factors. However, most healthy hearts have the same fundamental elements: four hollow chambers surrounded by muscles and heart tissue. The upper two chambers, the atria, are where blood flows from the body and lungs to the heart, while the lower two chambers, the ventricles, are where blood is pumped from the heart to the lungs and the rest of the body.

The heart functions using the pulmonary (lungs) and systemic (full body) circuits, each of which has distinct functions. The pulmonary circuit carries deoxygenated blood from the heart, cycling it to the lungs and returning it back to the heart. On the other hand, the systemic circuit carries oxygenated blood, cycling it through the rest of the body and returning it to the heart. These processes are supported by veins and arteries,

Printing Life: 3D Custom Hearts

which bring blood to and from the heart. In order to control blood flow, functional heart valves are crucial. Heart valves are gates that allow blood to flow in and out of the heart and prevent it from

heart failure. Medications such as ACE inhibitors and beta-blockers can resolve internal issues contributing to valve failure, like blood clotting, but they have minimal effects on severe versions of the

Every heart also has unique valve sizes, so an inaccurate measurement of the synthetic valves can lead to blood regurgitation within the pulmonary or systemic systems. These problems can accompany more serious risks, including nerve damage, organ damage, and the rupture of the heart wall.

For years, researchers have looked to combat aortic stenosis without the complications that can arise from valve replacement surgery. The goal is to use a customprinted heart to compare implants of different sizes and find the best fit and flow for each heart. This development would allow clinicians to determine the ideal valve size for implantation in cases of severe aortic stenosis, lowering the risk of complications.

erate a soft, unique shell of the ventricle and vessels. The 3D ventricles and vessels were composed of polymer ink, a mix of natural and synthetic substances used for 3D printing that are squeezable and stretchable. The researchers also wrapped fabricated sleeves around the 3D hearts and connected them to a small air-pumping system. Then, these sleeves were customized to contract and constrict the 3D models like authentic hearts do.

flowing backward by opening and shutting their flaps.

Aortic stenosis is a heart valve disease in which the left ventricles and aorta do not fully open, resulting in reduced blood flow. When this occurs, the heart must work harder to pump blood, causing the left ventricle to thicken and enlarge from overexertion. Eventually, this overexertion weakens the cardiac muscles and can cause

disease. The only known option to treat extreme cases of aortic stenosis is heart valve surgery.

In heart valve replacement surgery, a surgeon replaces damaged or diseased heart valves by implanting synthetic valves designed to widen the aorta. However, there is a high probability of heart damage from valve infections, which result from foreign germs attacking the heart’s internal structures.

Dr. Ellen Roche and her team at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology began the development of the hybrid heart in January 2020. The hybrid heart is a simple replica made of synthetic muscles and a blend of two polymers—a stretchable cyclic copolymer elastomer and a much stiffer thermoplastic polyethylene—containing small inflatable cylinders to mimic the contractions of a beating heart. Eventually, the researchers expanded their approach to developing sleeves and heart replicas for individual patients, eliminating the risk of incorrect valve sizes.

To create these hearts, the team first used medical scans of 15 patients diagnosed with aortic stenosis, converting the scans into a 3D model of a typical aortic stenosis patient’s left ventricle and aorta. Then, they fed the model into a 3D printer to gen-

Furthermore, the researchers mimicked patient surgeries to see whether the printed heart and vessels would respond similarly to an authentic heart. When the results came back identical to an authentic heart, the researchers used valve implantation patient models to implant the valves in their printed heart. Once again, they achieved similar results as valve implantation patients. In other words, their experiment was a success.

Currently, the model heart is used to recreate an accurate rate of heart cramping pressure and flow for individual patients. Using these patient-specific models, researchers can develop and identify ideal treatments for those with even more complicated cardiac diseases. However, 3D custom printing is also extremely expensive, with specialized bioprinters costing upwards of $100,000. These high prices are exclusionary. Hopefully in the future, 3D custom hearts will become more affordable, but until then, this innovation can enable scientists to save more lives and drive medicine to unbelievable new heights.

Ying Chen / The Spectator

Heed the Warning: Skrillex’s Don’t Get Too Close Music

By GALEN JACK

Though Sonny Moore, better known as Skrillex, is notorious for making cringe-worthy Dubstep music, he once changed the music industry. Beginning his career in one of the ‘00s’ most influential emo bands, he later released his ground-breaking solo project, blending pop and heavy electronic rhythms and bringing the niche dance genre into the mainstream. This new genre quickly became a sensation pioneered by Skrillex himself, who has won the most Grammy awards of any electronic artist in history. Despite his massive success, his back-to-back releases of Quest For Fire and Don’t Touch Me come 10 years after his last solo release, marking his return to music after his mental health struggles and substance abuse following his mother’s death. Fans hoped that Skrillex’s long break would allow him to return with a fresh and experimental sound, but Don’t Get Too Close fails to live up to these expectations; Skrillex plays it safe with an on-trend pop rap sound that drowns in its own mediocrity.

Don’t Get Too Close sees Skrillex curating as much as he is producing, utilizing features from across the hip-hop and pop worlds to give the album its substance. These features vary in success, often working best when they complement his signature style.

PinkPantheress’s vocals on the second track, “Way Back,” are a prime example of this, as her wispy, angelic voice shines against Skrillex’s bass heavy, bouncy production. This track also features Trip-

Music

By PHOEBE BUCKWALTER

Gracie Abrams’s fame is paradoxical. The bedroom pop singer-songwriter has been given the career-making opportunity to open for 30 dates on Taylor Swift’s The Eras Tour, graced the covers of L’Officiel Paris and V Magazine, and gained goddess status in the niche world of sad girl indie pop. Yet she remains largely unrecognized by mainstream pop culture. The radio is almost entirely devoid of the stinging fragility of her lyrical mastery, and despite earning the high praise of Billie Eilish, Lorde, and Olivia Rodrigo, she has not achieved the name recognition that these anti-popstar admirers evoke. Ironically, she has been held up as an example in Hollywood’s enduring nepo baby debate—she is the daughter of famed filmmaker J.J. Abrams. Regardless of how Abrams landed in the music industry, the brutal honesty of breath-

pie Redd, whose warm vocals lift PinkPantheress’s light raps, allowing her deft lyricism to shine.

While Skrillex succeeds as

bility of innovative production on previous projects, Skrillex often chooses to play it safe instead of taking artistic risks. He unsuccessfully mimics the

Playlist

sees Skrillex over-processing vocals until they become incomprehensible, often ruining songs completely. This is most apparent on Kid Cudi’s “Summertime” feature, where Skrillex heaps digital effects onto Cudi’s vocals, butchering his signature nasally sound and making his presence almost undetectable. Furthermore, Skrillex makes unwise lyrical and sonic decisions that are unredeemed by his lackluster production. While Bibi Bourelly’s feature on “Don’t Get Too Close” attempts powerful vocals, her songwriting comes off as cliché and her delivery leaves much to be desired, making it one of the low points of the album. Bourelly’s collaboration with Skrillex is more successful on the closing track, “Painting Rainbows,” which is richer and more melodically compelling than “Don’t Get Too Close.”

The track is uplifted by the use of ethereal synths that complement Bourelly’s voice, giving the song more sonic depth. It hints at the wonders that Skrillex is capable of, serving as a strong finish to an otherwise disappointing album.

Before the Curtain Falls

By THE ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT DEPARTMENT

To fully embrace SING! spirit, the amazing members of the Arts & Entertainment department have compiled the most dramatic and theatrical songs they can imagine! Bring out your inner thespian! Start a soliloquy!

Back to Black Amy Winehouse R&B

The Saxophone Song Kate Bush Art pop

Hopelessly Devoted To You Olivia Newton-John Soft rock

strumentals. For example, the album’s seventh track, “Bad For Me,” features drill rap pioneer Chief Keef, whose vocals are drowned out under excessive layers of autotune. Keef shines when delivering fiery raps over aggressive beats, so the mismatch between Keef’s style and the track’s relaxed instrumental make “Bad For Me” confusing and underwhelming.

Despite proving his capa-

style of featured artists, most notably on “Ceremony” with Swedish rappers Yung Lean and Bladee. On this track, Yung Lean delivers cheery, whimsical vocals while Bladee’s heavily-autotuned sound adds a melancholic atmosphere to the upbeat track. Skrillex’s soft harp melodies and pared-down drum instrumentals work but ultimately feel watered down, cheap, and unoriginal, lacking the experimental instrumentals his features are known to have.

The latter half of the album

Instead of moving in an adventurous and unique direction, Don’t Touch Me sees Skrillex continuing to make generic pop and hip-hop inspired dance music. Though he succeeds in making danceable music, he does not push himself, leaving much of the album to sound uninspired and bland, lacking the flair of a seasoned EDM producer. Skrillex features an enormous variety of artists on the project, yet it remains consistent only in its tragic overproduction.

Gracie Abrams Says Good Riddance to the Blame Game

taking ballads like “I miss you, I’m sorry” (2020) have granted the 23-year-old a cult following. With the February 24 release of her first full-length album, Good Riddance, Abrams continues her slow ascent into indie pop stardom.

Good Riddance follows in the careful footsteps of Abrams’s minor (2020) and This Is What It Feels Like (2021), but it does

on others before reflecting on my own role in a situation. [...] With Good Riddance, I wanted to grow out of that really desperately.” This newfound accountability for her actions brings an acute awareness to Good Riddance that adds immense weight to her signature breathy, delicate vocals. This is accentuated by Abrams’s bold vocal experimentation as she pushes

The righteous wrath of an honorable man Colin Stetson Freeform jazz

The Great Gig in the Sky Pink Floyd Prog Rock

Welcome to the Renaissance Something Rotten Cast Musical Theater

But Not Tonight Depeche Mode New wave

not tread lightly. If her previous projects were tip-toes on a plush carpet, Good Riddance is purposeful stomping on the bare hardwood floors that lie beneath—unshielded authenticity. In an interview with Vanity Fair, Abrams explained, “I think a lot of my songwriting in the past almost placed blame

the limits of her range, giving her music a new depth and expansiveness. This is evident on songs like “Where do we go now?” and “I should hate you,” in which Abrams flows masterfully between her soulful lower register and soaring falsetto.

Notably, the album is cowritten and produced by Aaron

Dessner, frontman of The National and Swift’s folklore (2020) and evermore (2020) collaborator. Abrams and Dessner have worked together previously, with Dessner contributing to four songs on This Is What It Feels Like. Their new collaboration, however, is less successful; Dessner’s production feels recycled, distracting from Abrams’s lyrical originality by mimicking the soundscape that brought him and Swift success. Perhaps the best example of this is found on the album’s fourth track, “Where do we go now?,” which is nearly sonically identical to Swift’s “peace” (2020), save for a glorified clap track overlay. The entire album overuses grainy acoustic guitar backing, aiming to inspire nostalgic rumination but instead dulling the sharp edge of Abrams’s cutting vocals. Sonically, Good Riddance feels

The March Of The Black Queen Queen Pop Rock

Another Day of Sun La La Land Cast Film Score

Prokofiev: Romeo and Juliet, Op. 64, Act 1, Scene 2: Dance of the Knights Sergei Prokofiev and Andre Previn Ballet Classical

Five Years David Bowie Glam Rock

Llueve Sobre Santiago Astor Piazzolla Tango

If her previous projects were tip-toes on a plush carpet, Good Riddance is purposeful stomping on the bare hardwood floors that lie beneath—unshielded authenticity.

Zihe Huang The Spectator

The Clean Girl Aesthetic: Rebranding Minority Cultures Fashion

By RAAITA ANWAR

Upon opening TikTok, viewers are often bombarded with beauty influencers promoting their newest style hacks, most recognizably the clean girl aesthetic. Since it first gained popularity in early 2022, the clean girl aesthetic’s viral TikTok dominance has made its way into fashion magazines, runways, celebrity styling, and makeup marketing. This aesthetic is characterized by flawless, natural-looking skin, rosy cheeks, thick feathered brows, gold hoop earrings, glossy lips, and slicked-back hair styled with a claw clip. While this trend is seemingly harmless, the clean girl aesthetic culturally appropriates beauty trends originating from minority groups.

The influencers who promote the clean girl aesthetic are predominantly white. People of color (POC) have called them out for marketing the trend without giving proper credit to the cultural influences it draws upon. Gold hoop earrings have been worn by African American and Latinx women for decades but were viewed by mainstream white culture as “ghetto” and improper for formal settings. In the Editorialist, Gabriela Garcia writes, “Hoop earrings have been worn by Black and Latinx women as symbols of resistance and strength for decades, dating back to ancient Egyptian royalty like Cleopatra and Nefertiti.” Ever since the clean girl aesthetic was popularized by TikTok, gold hoops can be

found at any major retail store and have become a wardrobe staple. The now-celebrated earrings serve as a tone-deaf slap in the face because their historical significance to minority

oiling has been a part of South Asian culture for centuries but has been ridiculed by people who claim that oiled hair looks dirty. In the Michigan Daily, a South Asian woman com-

scalp hydration, improved hair growth, and stress relief—have become widely recognized. This is another example of a style considered unattractive on POC becoming popularized by white people.

Similarly, model Hailey Bieber’s “Brownie Glazed Lips” (brown lip liner and lip gloss) went viral this year. This lip combination has been around since the ‘90s and was first worn by Latinx women. However, Hailey Bieber is credited as the innovator of this so-called “new” look. Bieber even started her beauty brand called Rhode, which sells products catered to the clean girl aesthetic. Rhode is just one of many beauty brands profiting off trends stolen from POC.

prises one of the most desirable beauty ideals.

groups goes ignored. The clean girl look also takes inspiration from South Asian culture, namely through slicked-back, oiled hair. Hair

mented, “I would just be another dirty, smelly Indian girl.” Since becoming enveloped in the clean girl aesthetic, the health benefits of hair oiling—

Furthermore, the clean girl aesthetic goes so far as to mimic the physical features of women of color,specifically South Asian and Arab women, such as thick feathered brows, which have historically been labeled as bushy and untamed on POC. In an interview with ENews, American actress Camila Mendes, who is of Brazilian descent, explained that she was forced to wax her thick eyebrows while working on Riverdale (2017). Thick, feathered eyebrows are now seen as extremely trendy, with new products like brow gel and permanent beauty treatments like brow lamination rising in popularity. What was historically considered an “unkempt” look when worn by POC now com-

When Wanting Isn’t Enough Music

By BENSON CHEN

Desire seeps its way into every crevice of our daily lives. We are constantly reminded of its power, its seductive nature, and how completely it can consume one’s being. On Caroline Polachek’s new album, Desire, I Want to Turn Into You, she builds a tropical paradise filled to the brim with nods to that theme. Originally half of the indie band Chairlift, Polachek has since moved onto solo projects such as her debut album Pang (2019), a successful and critically acclaimed project that launched her into the spotlight. What makes Polachek’s music so distinct is not just her impressive vocal range but also her usage of her own voice as a replacement for instrumentals. While her debut felt grounded in reality, Desire, I Want To Turn Into You is Polachek’s daring venture into worldbuilding.

The album’s opener, “Welcome To My Island,” is a triumphant ‘80s synth-pop track that begins with an animalistic yet controlled howl from Polachek. The verses are a bold and ominous declaration of Odysseyinspired entrapment based on Odysseus’s stay on Ogygia with Calypso, a nymph who ensnares him in her web of seduction. What makes this track so special is the immediate electricity it jolts into the listener and the

introduction of desire, as Polachek shouts “Desire, I want to turn into you!” The conviction in Polachek’s delivery, combined with the impossibility of the statement, shows how much the emotion has consumed her.

The bridge at the end of the song is a tribute to Polachek’s complicated relationship with her father, who died of COVID-19 in late 2020. In an interview with The Guardian, Polachek explained that he criticized her work as too “commercial” and not “radical” enough. This reveals the very high expectations her father had for her artistry. One of Polachek’s trademarks in her music is her eagerness to experiment in and out of her genre. The reality of the lyrics about her father are immediately sidestepped as Polachek beckons the listener to follow her into the world she has built: “You gotta go somewhere where you can’t pretend / Go forget the rules, forget your friends.” From the subtropical bassline on “Bunny Is A Rider” to the lush synths and equatorial drumming on “Blood and Butter,” Polachek reveals desire as not only an emotion but also an escape from a cruel reality. An ugly facet of desire is revealed on the album’s fifth track, “Crude Drawing of An Angel.” The track, though slow and bare, is saved by its atmospheric impact. The song’s vast

soundscape features slowly dripping water sound effects that seem as though they are echoing through the cavernous chambers of Polachek’s prison. The lyrics of the song show a different side of desire—a side that is as anxious and afraid as it

with you.” She expresses an inflexible compromise of “all or nothing” in the chorus; she will either hold her lover down or be left by him. The unanswered echoes of her offer reveal that the latter has occurred.

These themes are further

Aside from its glaring cultural issues, the clean girl aesthetic promotes the idea that those with flawless clear skin are clean while girls with acne or blemishes are dirty. Acne is a complex skin condition that some are genetically more prone to than others. Associating “clean” girls with clear skin is degrading to those who suffer from skin conditions that are out of their control. Furthermore, the aesthetic is often unattainable for those who do not fit Eurocentric beauty standards. If one does not have high cheekbones, a small nose, and large eyes, they will not be considered a “clean girl,” regardless of whether or not they meet the aesthetic’s criteria. Beauty should not be defined by standards that are only attainable for certain groups of people. Instead, it should celebrate and promote diversity and accessibility. The 21st century has seen an increase in diversity within popular media, bringing historically underrepresented cultures into the limelight. POC have undeniably always had an impact on American popular culture, and in the digital age, it is just as important as ever for white creators to acknowledge the roots behind their not-sonew beauty routines. Promoting cultural diversity within the beauty industry is essential to recognize the clean girl aesthetic’s true innovator: POC.

mimic the chorus of its precursor, “Fly To You.” “Blood and Butter” reinforces the theme of escaping into someone else’s love: “Let me dive through your face / To the sweetest kind of pain.” Polachek’s irresistible desire lands her in a suffocating embrace—the exact kind of love she lusts for.

The album’s memorablytitled ninth track, “Hopedrunk Everasking,” references a scene from Shakespeare’s Macbeth, with Polacheck questioning her lover the same way that Lady Macbeth taunts her husband. The track features heavy refrains such as “They’ll find our bones / And yet they won’t,” alluding to the romantic nature of indecipherable artifacts. Despite this track’s provoking lyricism, it is still the album’s weakest track, with a stagnant progression and slow build.

watch me / Draw your brow with shaky hand”—and yet, in the second verse, asserts dominance over him, singing, “I’ll not be shy, no, I’ll not be gentle

tive pop tune that has a new rush of energy toward the end, when bagpipes come in. An interesting detail of the song is that the melody of the bagpipes

Polachek is able to replicate the unique allure of her debut on her sophomore album. Desire, I Want To Turn Into You was met with critical acclaim upon its release—it holds the title of Metacritic’s album of the year— and it is easy to see why. The album is a triumph in worldbuilding via production and bubbles with lyrical mastery. With this latest album in her discography, Polachek has cemented herself as a staple artist in this generation’s rising stars of alternative pop music.

Rhea

Malhorta / The Spectator

It’s Exactly What It Sounds Like Film

By SOFIA THORNLEY

Real-life drug smuggler Andrew Thornton deliberately dropped 75 pounds of cocaine over the Tennessee wilderness in 1985 while transporting the shipment into the United States by plane. Three months later, authorities in Georgia found the body of the black bear that had eaten almost all of the cocaine. This is the basic premise of Cocaine Bear, though the fictional film is extremely dramatized and crammed with gory deaths that never actually happened.

The film begins in the same way as the true story: Thornton flings over $2 million worth of packaged cocaine into the wilderness before falling to his death when his parachute fails. From this point on, the plot diverges entirely into pure fiction, and chaos ensues. Viewers are never actually shown the bear’s discovery and ingestion of the cocaine—only the terrifying effects it has on the bear’s psyche imme diately af terwards. The

Cocaine Bear:

first bear-related death is that of a young hiker who unknowingly stumbles into the bear’s vicinity in Chattahoochee-Oconee National Forest and is brutally mauled. This scene, complete with bloody limb stumps flying into the air, illustrates the extravagant, campy violence that is constant throughout the movie. The main conflict is single mother Sari’s (Keri Russell) mission to rescue her pre-teen daughter, Dee Dee (Brooklynn Prince), who was separated from her friend after they ventured into the forest alone and were attacked by the bear. Simultaneously, Detective Bob (Isiah Whitlock Jr.), who finds Thornton’s body, investigates his connections to fictional drug lord Sid White (Ray Liotta). The latter serves as the primary (human) antagonist through his search to recover the cocaine at all costs. Meanwhile, dicted bear roams the forest, searching for more cocaine and attacking anyone induces a plethora of characters who are subsequently

tured ‘80s drug lord Sid White and esteemed character actress Margo Martindale as a disgruntled park ranger. Unfortunately, the characters are inhibited by poor scriptwriting, which fails to afford them the depth and dialogue needed to tell a compelling story. Sari and Dee Dee’s mother-daughter relationship, a focal point of the film, lacks nuance and receives limited screen time. Russell attempts to depict Sari’s struggle to reunite with her daughter with emotional authenticity, but Dee Dee herself is offscreen for almost the entire film, ensuring that their eventual heartfelt reconciliation is too little, too late. Ultimately, the star-studded cast struggles to revive the stilted and flat dialogue in between scenes involving unequivocally the best character—the bear. The bear itself functions as a villainous agent of destruction for the majority of the film before being lent a slightly sympathetic role when Sid White is revealed to be the true antagonist. This transition fits well in the plot because viewers are encouraged to anticipate and look forward to the bear’s appearances. The revelation that the bear is, in fact, a mother compounds the themes of parenthood and family that Cocaine Bear relies on for a sense of continuity.

journey through the wilderness is performed in a bright pink jumpsuit. The self-exalting manner in which blood and carnage are embraced also pays homage to the era of ‘80s slasher films during the real Cocaine Bear’s lifetime. Though the thick vegetation effectively mimics that of forests in Georgia, Cocaine Bear was actually filmed in Wicklow, Ireland, a popular spot for filmmakers due to its picturesque scenery. Occasional shots of impressive views reinforce the man-versus-nature theme that permeates the plot, and the dense foliage communicates the claustrophobic sense that some characters will never make it out alive.

cluding the late Ray Liotta as the

Though the characters spend the vast majority of their time in the lush, green forest, the film is still undeniably ‘80s; the iconic This Is Your Brain on Drugs commercial, a symbol of the Reagan administration’s War on Drugs policies, makes an appearance just a few minutes in, and Sari’s entire

The implausible, deliberatelycrude gore of Cocaine Bear quickly establishes a tone of comedy and ridiculousness that eliminates the possibility of a serious horror film intended to spark genuine fear. A chase scene midway through involving the park ranger and two incidental paramedics highlights this absurdity: the bear gains on their escaping ambulance, launches itself through the air, and successfully jumps into the back of the vehicle. The ranger is propelled from the stretcher into the road, one paramedic is mauled by the bear, and the other is killed after crashing the ambulance into a tree. By this point, the film becomes a drug-induced fantasy that revels in its own frivolity. The frequent moments of high-suspense bear encounters, though briefly anxiety-inducing, are never terrifying. Instead, Cocaine Bear is self-aware and relies on the acknowledged nonsense of its premise as the central joke.

As expected, the bear serves as the single most vital and interesting element of the film. However, one of the film’s biggest shortcomings is the thin line that its CGI straddles between—utterly unconvincing and just believable enough. In certain scenes, this balance is nonexistent, especially in moments that demand realistic movement, such as when the bear scales a tree or chases after its victims. Here, the bear appears strangely un-bearlike, operating with a gravity-defying ease of motion that makes it seem more like a humongous, man-eating squirrel. Weta VFX, the company responsible for creating the bear, was reportedly inspired by the unique facial structure and expression of sun bears to make the Cocaine Bear look like it had a drug habit.

Though the film is not particularly long, the crammed list of characters mandates a longer running time than necessary, burderning the flimsy plot with insignificant scenes and uncompelling interactions. Cocaine Bear’s biggest problem is that it has exactly one concept it wishes to communicate: a bear eats cocaine and goes on a murderous rampage. Beyond that, there is not much substance to the film. But with an innovatively explicit death every few minutes, it is obvious that perfectly-refined plotlines and complex characters are not the movie’s selling point. Instead, Cocaine Bear is an ideal film for teenage audiences, and not once does it operate under the pretense of being anything other than fun, gory nonsense.

Chronically Online As The World Burns: This Is Why Review Music

By BENSON CHEN

Grammy-winning rock band

Paramore, consisting of lead vocalist Hayley Williams, guitarist Taylor York, and percussionist Zac Farro, has boldly metamorphosed once again. Two decades ago, the band was perceived as a naive newcomer in the music industry led by a then-teenage Williams. Artistically, they have come far from their first album, All We Know Is Falling (2005), which took three weeks to create, to their latest record, This Is Why, which has been in the making for five years. While their debut was shallow and lacked much lyrical prowess, This Is Why leans heavily into its themes of self-blame and contains some of the band’s most provoking lyricism.

Paramore’s prolonged break from music could serve as an explanation for the band’s new, mature, and introspective tone. They opt for an indie rock sound, in contrast with the ‘80s synth and pop rock influences of their fifth studio album, After Laughter (2017). This Is Why is anxious, wary, and paranoid in its moments of introspection, but fiery and passionate when critiquing the status quo. At times, the outrage on the record feels overexaggerated, and the album’s brooding nature leaves the listener little room to

breathe, making it feel longer than its 36-minute runtime.

The first single and title track, “This Is Why,” is a gripping rock anthem that kickstarts the album. The verses start off lyrically spiteful yet vocally soft and entrancing—almost siren-like—before exploding into a cathartic chorus. The lyrics detail the negative aspects of fame, such as the constant feeling of being watched; Williams expresses the fear that comes with this paranoia, which pressures her to stay inside:

“One step beyond your door / It might as well have been a free fall.” This is powerful because it details a seemingly harmless everyday action that becomes burdensome in the shadow of Williams’s fame.

On track five, “Big Man Little Dignity,” a song with heavy social commentary on the patriarchy, Williams criticizes men in power who are able to escape punishments within a systemically misogynistic society. The album’s theme of media addiction, first introduced in the second track, “The News,” is also present here: “I can’t look away, you’re like a movie that I love to hate.” The lyricism takes on an additional weight in “Big Man Little Dignity” because it is rooted in Williams’s traumatic childhood experiences with predatory men.

Though the themes of the songs are similar, “Big Man Little Dignity” maintains a tense and well-managed atmosphere, while in “The News,” the band struggles to appropriately balance the song’s rock elements with its heavy-handed social

hind them just like a headache”

read as tone deaf, which is unfortunate because the production and melody are powerful on their own. The album’s disappointing moments are minimal but take a heavy toll on its overall quality due to the proj-

ics like “Lucky for me, I run on spite and sweet revenge / It’s my dependence on the friction that really hinders my progression,” the song’s lyrical genius is ruined by the half-baked structure of the song. The repetitive and energetic chorus comes in too early, wrecking the tension built by preceding verses. This structural flaw comes off as discordant rather than innovative.

The album’s closer, “Thick Skull,” is one of its highlights, concluding the album with distinctly heartbreaking lyrics—“I am attracted to broken people / I pick ‘em up and now my fingers are bleedin’”—that set it apart from the rest of the tracklist. It details Williams’s struggle with trusting and loving people who have proven time and time again that they are not worthy of her faith in them. Though the song fails to tie up all of the album’s loose ends, it is raw with the emotion that defines This Is Why: self-blame.

commentary. The lyrics “War, a war, a war on the far side / On the other side of the planet / And I’ve got war, a war, a war right behind my eyes / Right be-

ect’s short length.

“C’est Comme Ca,” the fourth track, is the tracklist’s second disappointment. Though it contains clever lyr-

This Is Why received a mixed bag of critical reviews, but its polarizing reception is fitting given that it is intended to mimic the chaos of the world’s state. Perhaps it is even an accurate characterization of the nation’s current events: hectic, perplexing, and disheartening. This Is Why forces listeners to take a step back and confront the inherent flaws in our society.

Benjamin Hur / The Spectator

Celeste Hoo / The Spectator

Arts and Entertainment

Face to Face Once More Music

By TALIA ARCASOY, OLIVIA CALLAHAN, and MADELINE HUTCHINSON

When Will Toledo sat down in his mother’s car to sing, “My boy, we don’t see each other much / It’ll take some time / but somewhere down the line / We won’t be alone”—Twin Fantasy’s opening lines—he could not have envisioned where that singular action would lead him. Toledo worked solo for the first five years of his career, relying on his dorm room and laptop to produce Twin Fantasy (Mirror to Mirror) (2011). This lo-fi album, imbued with unparalleled rawness, was an immense sensation on Bandcamp due to its masterfully messy response to the woes of failed teenage relationships. After signing to Matador

Records in 2015, Toledo recruited guitarist Ethan Ives, bassist Seth Dalby, and drummer Andrew Katz, whose talents offered his new band, Car Seat Headrest, a musical dimensionality far keener than his MacBook GarageBand program could ever provide. Finally, Toledo had the resources to reconstruct the narrative of his youth through a fresh, matured lens, rebranding it as Twin Fantasy (Face to Face) (2018). The album recently celebrated its five-year anniversary, marking a notable feat for

Toledo and Car Seat Headrest as a whole.

While Toledo laments the same toxic relationship from his late teens in both the 2011 and 2018 records, his enduring rumi nation between the releases, represented by a small but significant title change from Twin Fantasy (Mirror to Mir ror) to Face) shifts the album’s nar rative. The idea of a Twin Fantasy is one of a per fect relationship wherein the peo ple involved are so similar that they are able to see themselves in each other, hence the title to Mirror original record ing. Throughout the relationship, Toledo attempts to forge this fantasy between him and his unnamed boyfriend, rein forcing the theme of idealization through abrasive guitar chords and frenzied basslines. When recording the 2018 version, he decided to rename the album Face to Face, representing his changed mindset toward the relationship—he is no longer trying to romanticize it, as

he possesses newfound maturity that allows him to see things as they are, face-to-face rather than through rose-tinted glasses. The choruses are generally bums, but Toledo twists certain to adapt the narrative. The most illustrative examples of this evolution can be ing alcoves of the album; in the seventh track, “Cute Thing,” Toledo changes the lyrics tally spoke your name aloud” to “I accidentally spoke his name aloud.” This simple change of pronouns

tive from which approaches his is aging away from the heartbreak of his teenage years and starting to reflect on it from a distance, maintaining the characteristic fatality that makes his lyricism so genuine. Toledo exhibits mastery through the smooth integration of thematic and instrumental elements throughout the album. The

record flows seamlessly from the energetic desire for codependency in “Cute Thing” to the disorienting layered crescendo of “High to Death.” Toledo successfully employs an element of unpredictability in compositions, deviating from any expectations of musical formula. Much like Toledo’s winding reflections on his relationship, the dynamic instrumentation throughout the album speaks to that indecisiveness. In the 16-minute expanse of “Famous Prophets (Stars),” reverberating screams and exploding percussion quickly fade into scratchy whispers embellished with faint piano notes. This dizzying sequence is repeated, sprinkled with the accelerating repetition of the lyric “The ocean washed over your grave / The ocean washed open your grave.” This is an example of how Toledo explicitly recalls and recaptures phrases mentioned in early songs as the album progresses. “The ocean washed open your grave” sequence is first introduced in the outro of “Beach Life-in-Death,” the album’s second track. However, when the lines are repeated halfway through “Famous Prophets (Stars),” Toledo’s vocals infuse it with an edge of dejected melancholy. The repetition of these lines is symbolic; Toledo uses the vessel of natural forces to allude to the

constant resurfacing of emotions.

The final track, “Twin Fantasy (Those Boys),” is the perfect resolution to Toledo’s incessant introspection. The instrumentation reduces to a euphonic hum as his lyricism takes center stage. He finally realizes the sheer impracticality of holding onto his unsalvageable relationship any longer. In a fuzzy monologue, Toledo declares rather despondently that “The contract is up / The names have been changed / So pour one out, whoever you are / These are only lyrics now.” Twin Fantasy has proven itself to be a revolutionary album that not only redefined the lo-fi scene, but continues to represent Toledo’s growth as an artist and individual. With each revision he made to Twin Fantasy (Mirror to Mirror), Toledo altered aspects of his own persona as well. His profound displays of passion and vulnerability have allowed listeners to forge an emotional connection with his music.

There is much more to come, as Car Seat Headrest will inevitably further explore the chaos of youth in future projects. The album comes to a close with the elusive assertion “when you come back I’ll still be here.” Until then, listeners are left to fantasize about the mastermind that is Will Toledo.

Instagram Fashion Is Killing You Review Fashion

By ALEXANDER HINCHLIFFE

Today, the fashion industry moves at a faster pace than ever; in the age of influencers and digital commerce, items are rapidly cycled in and out of the mainstream at breakneck speeds. Sneakerhead communities represent the epitome of this culture, going from obsessing over one shoe to the next in a matter of days. Whether it be a pair of Jordan 1s, Birkenstock Clogs, or the recent MSCHF’s Big Red Boots, the meta of online fashion is constantly changing.

The Big Red Boots are a prime example of this frantic consumerism. Modeled after Japanese manga character Astro Boy’s shoes, the Big Red Boots are a comically huge pair of boots from MSCHF, an off-kilter art collective known for releasing controversial items like Lil Nas X’s infamous “Satan Shoes,” a blood-adorned pair of sneakers that generated a storm of online outrage in 2021. Before they were released, the Big Red Boots were already similarly polarizing, as some saw them as overrated for their $350 price tag and an uncomfortable fit (there are several videos of people getting stuck in them), while others hailed the boots as a well-executed gag and refreshing break from the relentless landscape of Nike Dunks and New Balance 550s. Ultimately, the online hype gave the Big Red Boots an incredibly successful release, with the shoes now selling for upward of $1,400 on resale markets. Though they are certainly more eclectic than most sneaker models—and have some genuinely interesting possibilities for styling—the Big Red Boots indicate the growing hype culture centered around niche products.

Over the past few years, fashion communities on social media platforms like Instagram and TikTok have grown exponentially; what was once a conservative community of hardcore luxury chasers has become increasingly free-range and welcoming to casu-

al enthusiasts. Today, the content in these circles revolves around fit checks, commentary videos, and the incredibly popular “get ready with me” format. These “get ready with me” (GRWM, for short) videos usually follow the same sequence: the creator describes the scenario (a casual coffee date, drinks with the boys) and breaks down their thought process as they build their outfit. Daniel Simmons, one of the most popular GRWM creators, often embellishes his clothing pieces with additional descriptions: he is in love with his breathable linen trousers (perfect for the beach!), he could not be more excited to wear his exquisite mohair cardigan, and, of course, he adores his classic baseball cap. While some creators use this medium for genuine self-expression (the incomparable Wisdm, for example), most GRWMs reuse the same pieces in every outfit. One will encounter countless New Balance 550s and Adidas Sambas with herds of Jaded London Parachute Pants and Arc’teryx windbreakers on the bland safari of Fashion TikTok. These videos are captioned with imperative statements such as “YOU NEED THESE PANTS,” “Essential jackets for winter,” and “Best sneakers in 2023,” which work solely to promote niche items.

Commentary videos are similarly structured, claiming certain styles are in while others are out.

Skinny jeans, for example, are decidedly out of style according to TikTok, with a recent trend seeing creators throw their skinny jeans into dumpsters. Videos declaring what is and isn’t stylish, promoting certain products, and showing off incredible wardrobes create a sense of hyperreality for those who engage in this online culture.

Coined by French sociologist Jean Baudrillard, the concept of hyperreality is defined as a state in which the distinction between reality and the presentation of reality is blurred. In fashion, reality is the actual clothes people wear regularly, while its presen-

tation is the clothes that are said to be worn. These two rarely overlap; a majority of people are far removed from high fashion, gravitating toward the cheap and practical end. But social media can create an alternate image of life—when one is constantly consuming content telling them they need to buy certain items, they will eventually internalize that viewpoint, consciously or subconsciously. Watching other people dress up and show off their extensive catalog of clothes can give the impression that it is expected, or even necessary, to have a huge wardrobe. When items are phased in and out so rapidly, it can lead one to assume that they must constantly throw out and replace their clothes in order to remain fashionable. While fashion content’s popularity on social media has inspired many people to take an interest in the art, the consumerist hyperreality that has resulted goes against the meaning of the craft. At its best, fashion is the ultimate form of self-expression, and trend cycles and fixation on coveted products betray this value.

It is important to consider how the hyperreality of fashion on social media has been largely manufactured by companies. MSCHF utilizes shock value to get the internet’s attention whenever they launch a new product—the Big Red Boots are this strategy’s latest success. But Jaden London’s social media presence is perhaps a more accurate example of the subliminal online marketing strategies used by clothing companies. The brand frequently pays influencers to wear their pieces and tag them; the Parachute Pants—a pair of wide-leg cargo pants—has been one of their most popular products, showing up in countless GRWM videos and “wardrobe essentials” lists. All of this online excitement generated by the brand creates the illusion of real popularity, allowing them to mark up prices despite the fact that their clothes come from the same sweatshops as fast fashion

monsters like Shein and H&M.

Even without considering the devastating environmental impact caused by the production of these garments (or the worker exploitation, poor clothing quality, and a thousand other reasons), buying from Jaded London is not a worthwhile investment. Like the fads that came before it, the Parachute Pants will go out of style soon enough, only to be replaced with the glorious return of skinny jeans or an entirely new style. Wearing the hottest item of the moment can be momentarily validating, but with each passing day, the cycle of constant, wasteful consumption continues.

The consumerist culture

dominating today’s social media fashion communities is captured in legendary conceptual artist Barbara Kruger’s I Shop Therefore I Am (1987). Brands pay to curate an image of relevance, giving their poorly-produced items artificial popularity through social media content. When users consume this content—which often takes form in the shape of Daniel Simmon’s glistening abs staring back at you as he tells you that he loves his jeans—it creates the impression that they must buy more clothes in order to be stylish. In a culture where fads come and go on a daily basis, the stylish ideal is a marketing ploy that only creates waste and overconsumption.

ADVERTISMENT

Arts and Entertainment Scooby Who? Film

By EMILE LEE-SUK

Imagine Scooby-Doo (1969) , but Scooby is non-existent and Fred, Daphne, and Shaggy are all madly in love with Velma, who is the world’s biggest narcissist. This is the premise of HBO Max’s new adult animated series, Velma, which premiered on January 12. The series serves as an origin story for its titular protagonist, Velma (Mindy Kaling), as she tries to solve a series of femicides in her small town of Crystal Cove. Joining her are the show’s radically different versions of her iconic detective posse: Daphne (Constance Wu), Fred (Glenn Howerton), and Shaggy “Norville” (Sam Richardson). The show defends its character modifications as a means of tackling important topics, such as feminism and race, in an attempt to modernize and appeal to a now grown-up Gen Z target audience. Unfortunately, Velma’s most notable flaw—the mishandling of its characters—ends up making a mockery of both its celebrated source material and the political correctness it tries to represent.

Velma’s storyline, much like its comic predecessors, is centered around a mystery. Velma is determined to discover what happened to her missing mother and its potential connection to the serial killer terrorizing Crystal Cove. Unfortunately, she suffers from life-threatening hallucinations whenever she thinks about solving a mystery—a result of the trauma and fallout from her mother’s initial disappearance.

On the surface, Velma seems aligned with her original incarnation: a nerdy teenage outsider

Music

who is perplexed by mysteries of any kind. However, the show’s new representation of her lacks the empathy that made the original character likable. She treats everyone around her poorly, from ignoring Norville unless he is useful to her to publicly exposing Daphne’s journal to humiliate her. Velma is also a performative activist. When the aggressively sexist police believe that the rampaging serial killer is only targeting “hot people,” they assign Velma to give the popular girls at school “uggo lessons” to make them “less attractive.” While Velma sees this as an opportunity to free the girls from the repression their patriarchal society has placed on them, her only solution is to make them look and act like her. The girls even point out the fact that she is only replacing one unfair societal expectation with another instead of just letting them be themselves. Though Velma is made aware of her hypocrisy, she goes back to criticizing the popular girls by the next episode. As a protagonist, Velma’s fatal flaw is her lack of character growth; her unlikable nature and failure to redeem her past behaviors make her mistakes unforgivable.

The show’s visual style and character design are two of its positive aspects. The designs of the main characters truly feel like modern interpretations of their classic inspirations, retaining iconic parts of their original designs, such as Velma’s glasses and orange turtleneck, and Daphne’s bright orange hair and colorful outfit. The show’s artstyle conforms to the standards set by other modern adult animated series with round shapes,

exaggerated facial proportions, and thick line work. However, though the animation is well done, it remains predictable and unoriginal.

One of the show’s most

how each deuteragonist’s character is portrayed. However, each “relationship” with Velma feels either incomplete, superficial, or arbitrary, hurting the supporting cast’s characterizations overall.

the storyline is quickly dropped after Velma abruptly professes her love for Norville, resulting in a shallow pairing which goes nowhere. Velma and Norville’s romance is heavily discouraged throughout the show, with Norville developing resentment toward Velma and her complete apathy. Their romance feels entirely forced, betraying Norville’s character arc.

Velma and Fred’s relationship is taken the least seriously, as its purpose is purely to establish Fred as a blatant sexist. Once Velma makes him read feminist theory after being fed up with his misogynistic antics, his eyes are opened to her “inner beauty” and he becomes obsessed with pursuing her, believing that she will accept him purely because he has a somewhat better understanding of feminism. However, he starts harassing her to date him, coming off as an unchanged womanizer, and his only purpose within the larger narrative is to have comedic effect.

questionable writing decisions is how it chooses to handle its romances. Daphne, Fred, and Norville are all part of what fans have dubbed the “love quadrangle,” chasing after Velma. So much time is dedicated to these romance subplots that it quickly becomes a defining factor for

While Velma and Daphne’s relationship is the most developed, it is unfulfilled. In the second episode, the two kiss, and their relationship gradually escalates. They dance together, spend time together, and confide in each other before they finally start dating. However,

Whether it be the mockery of “wokeness” that the show embodies or its lack of adherence to the source material, Velma received scathing criticism across social media platforms. The show’s downfall ultimately lies in its portrayal of its most important characters and the lack of weight it gives to its overarching story. Through unfulfilled character arcs and extreme exaggeration, fan favorites quickly dissolved into embarrassing parodies of themselves. Velma abandons all respect for its characters’ integrity, creating a product that feels mean-spirited, condescending, and inauthentic.

Gracie Abrams Says Good Riddance to the Blame Game

continued from page 27

unoriginal, which is extremely disappointing considering that Abrams’s fresh lyrical and vocal skills are desperately needed in the blurred monotony of today’s pop landscape.

Good Riddance is at its best when it deviates from this cookie cutter production, primarily on the album’s first track, “Best.” The track layers dreamy synth with rich guitar strumming and subtle tambourine backbeats. The song’s upbeat pacing beautifully contrasts with Abrams’s unrushed, whispery vocals in the verses, and elevates her voice in the surging chorus and intense bridge. True to her goal of taking accountability, Abrams sings about a relationship that did not work because she offset her boredom with cruelty toward someone who genuinely cared for her: “You were there all the time / You’re the worst of my crimes / You fell hard / I thought good riddance.” It is

from this line that the album gets its name, with Abrams intentionally twisting the phrase to mean good riddance to her past, reclaiming the insult as a reflection of growth.

The album’s seventh track, “Amelie,” is another one of its highlights, an echoey catharsis showcasing Abrams’s emotional rawness through sonic and lyrical simplicity. Abrams’s yearning vocals are rough and sharp, tearing desperately through the upbeat acoustic guitar backing. The song is about an existential conversation with the titular character—one that ends with a tearful Amelie slipping into the elusive night. During their impactful interaction, Abrams recognizes a darkness in Amelie that she sees in herself; their shared obsessions and intrusive thoughts bind them together in a twisted soulmate connection. Abrams’s enchantment with Amelie coincides with a disillusionment with her own mental health struggles. The familiarity in Amelie’s tortured existence feels soothing because it forges a connection with the

most vulnerable, private part of Abrams’s identity, but it also threatens to suck her deeper into her own despair and consume her entire life: “All your words / Felt like a nursery rhyme / I’m comfortable / Handing you my whole life / When all of your words / Felt like a funeral rite.” The song maintains a nightmarish quality through Abrams’s fragmented memories and her haunting calls for Amelie.

Good Riddance is Abrams’s metamorphosis. “I feel like all of the feelings that I worked through with this album were kind of the realest feelings that I’ve ever had and [about] the most formative experiences in my life,” Abrams reflected. Perhaps, but her formative years are far from over, and only the future will hold whether she breaks into the mainstream or remains in the world of bedroom pop. If she does break into the mainstream, it is unlikely to be with Good Riddance; Abrams may have found her voice, but she has yet to find her sound.

Jaden Bae / The Spectator

A Spec-tacular SING! Review

Hey Stuyvesant,

Did you see this year’s SING! performances? The really outshone everyone else, right? Formulate your own comprehensive critique of the show and deliver a that’ll rock the stage.

Break a leg, The Spectator

SING! performances were an absolute , so much so that it’s difficult to decide where to start. Within Soph-Frosh SING!, the cast outshone everyone else with their _ voices, which spread throughout the audience. Their lines the audience and left an impression to last a . Next up was Junior SING! The dance crews the stage with a ferociousness that demanded the audience’s . To the night, Senior SING!’s plot sent onlookers into a vivid recollection of . But perhaps the funniest and most memorable moments were those that weren’t planned; was accidentally dropped by their crew into , tripped over , and, backstage, said, “Give me my .” The audience into as the curtains closed for the final time of the day.

Search for the Perfect SING! Crew!

Dear potential SING!ers, We know SING! 2023 has just ended, but it’s never too early to plan for SING! 2024! In order to make sure you know all your options, we’ve compiled a list of crews—it’ll just take a bit of searching to find them all! Happy hunting!

Love, The Spectator

These articles are works of fiction. All quotes are libel and slander.

The Backstory Behind the Best Subway Tuna Fish Footlong Recipe of All Time

By EVE LIN and MUNEM TAJWAR

St. Patrick’s Day is today— and that only means one thing! For the past 200 years, my family has passed down a sacred recipe to use on every St. Patrick’s Day. Though this recipe is for a sandwich, I can assure you that it is the BEST sandwich you will ever taste. Before I get to the recipe, however, I want to share with you the story that my mother and her mother and her mother before her all told their children, as the true importance of the recipe is revealed only through this tale.

The story begins with my ancestry. Our family is descended from Napoleon Bonaparte. Napoleon I is seen in history today as a dictator, but behind his controversial legacy lies a hopelessly romantic man. When he was a mere soldier in the French army, he had always admired the Russian Empire, particularly its ruler. Napoleon I and the Czar of Russia, Alexander I, ascended to power at around the same time. They had never interacted much before the War of the Third Coalition, when Napoleon I established the French Empire.

Napoleon I met Alexander I for the first time in 1807 to discuss the Treaties of Tilsit.

When Napoleon saw Alexander, it was love at first sight.

Napoleon rushed into Alexander’s arms, and they kissed passionately (there is something

about a man in a bicorne hat that is absolutely irresistible). It was the start of a whirlwind romance of longing glances and secret rendezvous at the conferences that the major European powers held to discuss Napoleon’s overt intentions of conquering the entirety of Europe.

But their love soured less than five years later in 1812, when Alexander betrayed Napoleon. Napoleon wanted to visit Alexander discreetly, so he invaded the Russian Empire. But when he burst into Moscow to see his beloved, he was met with a deserted city. Arriving at their confidential meeting spot, he found a piece of Russian black bread with a note attached to it.

Confused, Napoleon read the note. It said, “We are over. Oui oui baguette.” Napoleon could not believe it. Alexander broke up with him via the scorched earth technique, a severe courting taboo back in the 1800s. He desperately wanted to track down Alexander and demand an explanation, but he was too hungry. So instead, the sobbing Napoleon ate the bread and returned heartbroken to France, where he engaged in weeks of heavy drinking.

After their unfortunate breakup, Napoleon was devastated. He concluded that Alexander had found a new Frenchman to get tongue-tied with. He was drowning in sorrow, desperately yearning to gaze into Alexander’s starry

eyes again. But he came to his senses and realized that he should not devote his time to someone who would never love him wholeheartedly in return. No matter what he gave for his love, he would never be able to convince Alexander that he was equal to his new petit ami. During this time, Napoleon further embraced his French roots and rediscovered his love for baguettes, the same thing his former lover mentioned in his final note. Then, on April 11, 1814, Napoleon took off. The Coalition Forces could not track his whereabouts, so they crafted the elaborate myth that Napoleon was “exiled” to the island of Elba. But no—Napoleon went on a journey to find love once more, a love that could fill the unseasoned baguette buns he could not bring himself to let go of ever since the breakup. And on that journey, he found Iceland.

In Iceland, he met people of Norse descent who embraced their Viking heritage. There, he found love once more. As a matter of fact, he found love more than once. He found a world where people were willing to fill his baguette buns with something they saw as equally appealing: fish. Through this newfound connection, Napoleon and the Vikings were able to create sandwiches that were the stuff of legends. He was now surrounded by people who would not question his loyalty. And with this newfound confi-

dence, Napoleon returned from his “exile” and became the Emperor of France once more, just to spite Alexander. Before Napoleon was eventually overwhelmed by the combined forces clashing against him, he reunited with his former lover, Alexander. He mocked him in a spiteful symphony (with the help of a kidnapped Ludwig Van Beethoven) and preached about the beauty of Iceland, from the immigrant leprechauns galloping around in joy to the magnificent lovers he wooed. He boasted that the connection between his baguette buns and the Vikings’ fish would forever trump the connection between his and Alexander’s lips. Before leaving and wrapping up his battle against the world, he told Alexander, “Je suis meilleur que toi et tu le sais.” (I am better than you and you know it.)

From then on, the hatred between the ex-lovers’ bloodlines has continued for centuries, all the way to today.

Napoleon’s and Alexander’s descendants have the DNA of sandwich-making within them, inclining both to create their own food chains: Subway and Jersey Mike’s Subs. Napoleon’s descendants created Subway’s now infamous Tuna Fish Footlong. And with that, we come back to the present, glorious era when we are brought these sandwiches by Uber drivers. But the people who are a part of the Alexander family cannot fathom the idea of eating a Sub-

Stuyvesant Students Can’t Handle AP Rizz

By CHARLOTTE PETERSON

Following College Board’s 2023 course unveiling, the new one-semester AP Rizz course has been looking for desperate high schools with even more desperate students to pilot the course. Initially, Principal Yu did not recommend Stuyvesant as one of these schools, as he had substantial faith in the students’ relationship skills given their academic prowess and believed that much of the content would be redundant. Unfortunately, Principal Yu soon discovered himself entirely mistaken and his faith unfounded.

In the weeks leading up to Valentine’s Day, Yu claimed to have seen “way too many students fumbling the bag” and “absolutely no W rizz.” As a result, Yu submitted a last-minute application for Stuyvesant to beta-run the course in the spring term, hoping to increase Stuyvesant’s overall academic standing by improving students’ weakest field by the end of the year.

The course is currently offered as a senior science elective and has been described as the most challenging science AP class that Stuyvesant High School has ever offered. Senior Iget Zerobtches agreed to an e-mail interview to describe

his experience taking the course so far. “I’m currently taking AP Physics C and AP Rizz,” he wrote. “They’re completely different experiences; I wholly understand magnetic fields but just cannot wrap my head around the idea of getting a girl flowers. It’s way too difficult. The content doesn’t come naturally to me or any of my peers. I don’t think the curriculum is remotely high-school AP or college level, so I would strongly recommend avoiding this course unless you have significant prior experience or are willing to religiously self-study over the summer.” Zerobtches is not alone in his struggles. I interviewed the

current AP Rizz instructor, the Rizzler, to ask for her opinions on the course and student performance. “It’s a really challenging course for Stuyvesant students,” the Rizzler told me. “We’ve only had two practical assessments so far, a quiz on pick up lines and an exam on unspoken rizz, but students have averaged in the forties on both—and these first two units are by far the easiest in the College Board curriculum. Most of the class is completely failing, so I’ve had to offer everyone an exorbitant and generous extra credit assignment: if you can get a romantic partner by the end of cuffing season, I’ll add

SING! More like SACRILEGIOUS!

By ALEXANDER CHU and ANIKET ROY

In an alternate reality, where Juniors actually did SING! about Bible Camp, one mother has a bone to pick.

FROM: chen.mina@1977

To: syu@stuy.edu

SUBJECT: My Thoughts About Junior SING!

Dear Principal Yu,

I hope this e-mail finds you well. I’m writing to inform you that I am EXTREMELY DISPLEASED with our school’s depiction of Bible Camp for Junior SING!. As a parent, I was under the impression that my child (Class of 2024) was helping to put on a show exemplifying the moral values we all aim to instill in our children: friend-

ship, teamwork, and hard work. When I heard the theme was camp, I expected something like The Breakfast Club, but in a summer camp. Perhaps something with outdoor activities like kayaking and archery under the great blue sky. I did not expect my kid to point out the 10-foot cross and say, “Look Mom, I helped drill screws in that!” I am absolutely mortified that your faculty advisors did

Physics teachers play Family Guy clips and show Subway Surfers gameplay next to their lessons in order to keep students engaged.

Pest control has to be called in after termites capitalize on the sheer size of the college rejection wall.

Seniors, in retaliation against the Soph-Frosh SING! victory, begin punting the small underclassmen like soccer balls.

Senior SING! members collectively refuse to graduate and will stay to try to win SING! next year.

way tuna sandwich out of loyalty to their ancestors. Therefore, I feel obligated to bring peace between our families. So to start this peace offering, I am sharing a homemade version of a Subway Tuna Fish Footlong.

SUBWAY TUNA FISH

FOOTLONG RECIPE

Ingredients:

- Two slices of Wonder Bread

- One tuna corpse Steps:

1. Get your ingredients.

2. Stack the sandwich with one piece of bread on top and one below the fish.

I hope all of you reading enjoy this recipe, especially if you are a descendant of Alexander. <3

This message is brought to you by Subway.

30 points to your final grade. All of my students have tried, but not one has been anywhere near successful. I’m especially concerned about our students’ performance on the AP exam in May, where they will be required to pull someone within a threehour timespan to pass.” It is unclear whether or not Stuyvesant will continue to offer this course in coming years, considering how poorly the first few months have gone. Principal Yu remains adamant that he made the right decision in offering this course at Stuy, but only time will tell if Stuyvesant students are truly capable of acing AP Rizz.

nothing to prevent this HORRID idea from going through; you portrayed Bible Camp in an UNFORGIVABLE light. I myself went to Bible Camp when I was nine years old and had a WONDERFUL TIME kayaking with the rest of my campmates.

I hope that your school learns from this FAILURE of a production and recruits children with real scriptwriting tal-

ent next time. I made the difficult decision to enroll my kid in this school over Brooklyn Tech, and I would NOT want to regret that decision.

Sincerely,

Mina Chen

Sent from my iPhone XS

By SARA HELLER and ASTRID HARRINGTON

As everyone knows, St. Patrick’s Day is the day to celebrate redheads. Well, it’s really a celebration of Ireland’s patron saint, but potayto, potahto, right? In honor of this very special day (arguably the most important holiday of the year), we decided to debunk some common myths and share some insanely cool facts—and by the end of this article, you’ll realize why redheads are the best.

To begin, let’s address the myths about how we redheads get our lustrous locks. No matter how fun it may sound, we don’t dye our hair with the blood of our enemies. Can you imagine

Why Redheads Are the Best

how much of a hassle it would be to transfer the blood of our victims to our hair? Nor are we the result of a child eating too many carrots, though it’s nice to know we’re being used to scare children away from developing better eyesight (the TRUE use of carrots!). We are perfectly respectable products of inbreeding, thank you very much. Our ancestors simply couldn’t find significant others of their caliber…

Next, let’s talk about the elephant in the room: witchcraft. Yes, we know people say redheads are witches or “fathered by the devil,” but that is absolutely preposterous! The fact that thousands of redheads were burned at the stake for magic is

astonishing. We are not witches; we are actually soul-sucking demons sent from another planet. In fact, Dementors are modeled after us! J.K. Rowling didn’t want to make them too scary, so she took away the red hair.

Now, after disproving highly dubious claims, let’s move on to the good stuff! Did you know that less than two percent of the world’s population has red hair? Only your chances of successfully rizzing someone up are lower than that. However, while gingers are as rare as unicorns, we are also as likely to go extinct as cockroaches. Well, not in the ‘cockroaches-could-survive-theworld-exploding’ kind of way, but in the ‘cockroaches-keeppopping-up-they-literally-never-

go-away-WHY-ARE-THEY-INMY-POPEYES-CHICKEN?!!’

kind of way. Red hair is caused by a recessive gene, and it’s impossible for it to simply vanish. That’s right, redheads will forever grace this earth with their presence, showing up like cockroaches in your chicken (but even hotter).

Our last snazzy fact is about redheads’ superpowers. Oh yes, we have them. We won’t divulge all of our secrets, but we’ll tell you about one. Redheads are much more difficult to sedate than ordinary, dull-haired people, making us that much harder to kidnap. If you ever try to anesthetize a redhead, you’ll quickly realize that your attempts are in vain! We’ll struggle until the last

The ChatGPT Epidemic: Responses

By VINCENT D'ANGELO

ChatGPT has teachers everywhere cowering in fear and soil ing their undergarments. They must be horrified that we have other options besides spending hours at our keyboards every night painfully completing their sadistically long assignments.

The Humor Department had the opportunity to interview one of our teachers via e-mail regarding the situation (the teacher did not ask to remain anonymous, but that’s how we’ll present them to avoid public embarrassment):

“Oh boy, oh boy, this one is a real doozy! I had 20 students cheat on the last take-home exam alone. Jeepers, am I right? I haven’t had my trust violated so unapologetically since the months leading up to my third divorce. But turns out my stu dents have a lot more in common with Maurice than I thought!” When confronted with evidence that some of their assignments had actually been written using AI generators, this teacher re sponded with a barely intelligible e-mail, attacking our interview ers using bright pink text and a plethora of colorful emojis.

The Humor Department has taken it upon itself to dive into the darkest corners of Stuy during this trying time and pick out the strangest ways different teachers have tried to deal with

ChatGPT.

1. Back to the Good Ol’ Days ChatGPT has made many

opening comments in one of their classes: “Alright, everyone. Time to hand in your laptops and phones. From now on, we’re

CHATGPT TO TEACH

YOU?” However, there are concerns that some teachers are acting on the general antiAI sentiment to forward their own bizarre conspiracy theories against technology in general. One teacher was relieved of his duties after he was heard screaming about how 5G was causing cancer and his students were seen leaving his classroom with aluminum foil full-body suits.

Alternatively, some teachers have deemed resistance futile. These teachers have embraced AI openly, some going as far as requiring its use in certain takehome assignments. We asked one of these teachers why she was so at ease with the AI takeover: “Oh, well you see kiddos, you may think I’m being lazy, but in reality, I’m actually planning for the future. When them dastardly—oh I, err, mean friendly computers take over the world, I figure that they’ll be the kindest to those that accepted their wonderfulness without struggle. You ever seen the movie Her with Joaquin Phoenix? Maybe I can even get myself a pretty-voiced

moment, and you’ll never pull it off. We discovered this when taking a sedative to avoid taking one of Alonso’s tests: it didn’t work.

In conclusion, redheads are the most incredible human beings on this planet, and people should treat them like gods. You, dear reader, can honor a redhead today, on the Birth of the Redheads Day (a.k.a. Saint Patrick’s Day, but same thing), by giving them everything of value that you own. So go forth and spread the wisdom you learned here to others, and very soon, gingers will once more be in their rightful place as the rulers of the world. It all starts with Ed Sheeran…

taking the “choice” out of it and becoming AI themselves. Some of the wannabe cyborgs that do this are like the ones stated in reason #2; that is, they’ve tried to get on the AI’s good side (by emulating them, albeit horribly). But other teachers do it out of spite. You could imagine the horror in Señor Wackles’s AP World History classroom when he uttered these words: “From now on, I will answer all of your questions with a series of random numbers and letters, just like that horrible ChatOMG or whatever. Let's see how you like it! Or should I say: 1 3 4 2 2 13 4 5 A BG HI 44 HS SS 3 H * $ @0- __ 3 2.” Wackles hasn’t since let up the act, and everyone in his class is predicted to get a 1 on the AP exam.

By MIKAYLA LIN

Do you find yourself consumed by a feeling of ennui lately? While some might suggest seeking help from a therapist, we at The Spectator have a different solution in mind. All the happiest moments in our lives—birthdays, Christmas, and Black Friday— have one thing in common: they give us a perfect excuse to fill the hollow voids in our souls by buying everything we could ever need, want, or imagine in a fever dream of mindless consumerism. Who needs “fulfillment” when you can fill the spiritual abyss with a levitating Bluetooth speaker?

While the next governmentsanctioned shopping spree will not happen for a while, March

tal screens—all things that give us teens life. One exasperated student quoted their teacher’s

puter Science” class without computers, he shouted back “WHY DON’T YOU ASK

Some teachers, instead of encouraging their students to use AI, have gone one step further,

Sheiny New Toys

26 marks “National Make Up Your Own Holiday Day,” providing many more excuses to spend money and stay one step ahead of looming despair. Out of the kindness of their hearts, our

Everyone knows that wearing the same outfit twice is a major fashion faux pas, so take this holiday as a chance to completely replace your wardrobe with Shein’s extensive collection of clothes,

will disintegrate after the second wash, so you can keep up with the latest trends effortlessly!”

But as a Stuy student, you want more than just cute clothes.

Academic validation is your

In addition, the College Board will be releasing several new AP tests, following up the release of AP Precalculus with unconventional subjects such as AP Phrenology, AP Macaroni Art, and AP Show-and-Tell.

sponsors have provided a few holiday suggestions for you!

Shein, a clothing brand whose popularity has lasted much longer than its clothing, has proposed National Closet Cleanout Day.

crafted by the tiny hands of child laborers! And as an added bonus, CEO Chris Xu promises their latest technology will eliminate the possibility of repeating outfits. As he puts it, “Our clothes

greatest desire, and that is exactly what College Board’s recent announcement of National Standardized Testing Day provides.

On this day, they are offering a $1 coupon off AP test fees to

Before I leave you, let me issue a warning on behalf of our whole department. This is a painful time for our teachers; they aren’t used to having wellrested, cheerful students in their classrooms, and so they’ve gotten erratic and unpredictable, throwing out more donuts than Krispy Kreme during senior graduation. So, it may be in your best interests to be especially kind, or keep that AI usage on the low. And remember, you can run whatever ChatGPT generates through Quillbot to pass the Turnitin AI checker. Toodles!

students across the country. In addition, the College Board will be releasing several new AP tests, following up the release of AP Precalculus with unconventional subjects such as AP Phrenology, AP Macaroni Art, and AP Showand-Tell. When asked if these new tests would help students’ college readiness, David Coleman, CEO of the “non-profit” College Board, put down his gold-leaf origami and laughed. “Oh, you are actually serious— well, it will help put my kids through college, if that counts.”

Whether you are in the market for a whole new wardrobe or are seeking the rush of three hours of standardized testing, we hope this list has been helpful— even if it just serves to lighten your wallet.

Joanna Meng / The Spectator

By TAMIYYAH SHAFIQ

Welcome, dear reader, to the ultimate survival guide for the SAT. And that’s your goal. Survival. A score that will allow you to escape the beating that awaits you upon your parents receiving your score. I know what you are thinking: “Even your study guide cannot help me now; there is less than a week left!” Fear not, for I have scoured the depths of the internet to compile the most useful guide to help you ace the test in record time (and found the most effective study drugs to take the night before).

I, Dr. Shafiq, PhD in SAT-ing, hereby testify that the methods listed below have been tested and are backed by extensive scientific research on the topic.

Step 1: Acceptance

The first step is to accept the reality of the situation. You have procrastinated and now have less than a week left. You must feel regret, you must feel shame, you must be so angry at yourself that you can feel the rage flowing through your blood. “But why should I waste time wallowing in selfpity, when I can be studying? I’m already depressed, I don’t need to be more depressed!” However, this step is absolutely essential. If you don’t feel bad about your horrible decision making and planning skills for the next four days, you will not feel motivated to work extra hard the remaining three to make up for it. And let’s be real: you’re here, reading The Spectator, not exactly in front of a Princeton Review book. Cry if you need to, scream if you must, but ultimately accept that you have completely

The Ultimate SAT Survival Guide: Proven Techniques for Last-Minute Prep

butchered any chances of getting yourself a decent score.

Step 2: Pray

Do you feel sufficiently ashamed of yourself? You should. The second step is to pray to the test gods. Every night before you sleep, chant the following:

“O mighty test gods, hear our plea, Grant us a score that is 1603. We’ve studied hard, or so we say, So please don’t let us fail that day.

Please let us do our best, Our future depends on this test. We promise to never cram again, Or else we shall die a death full of pain.

So test gods, hear our prayer, Show us that you really care. Give us a score that’s beyond compare, And we’ll worship you, the ever most fair.”

After chanting, burn up an offering to the test gods. It is best to burn all of your SAT prep books, so the gods know what you need more help with. That increases the likelihood of your prayer being accepted.

Step 3: Misinformation

As you probably don’t know, the SAT is graded on a curve. That means that the worse everyone else does, the better you do. The course of action is clear: start spreading as much misinformation on the internet as possible to ensure that everyone else does a lot worse than you. Just be sure

to not start believing the misinformation yourself.

Step 4: Food

Now that you’ve got the vocab down, you may be hungry. This step is really important. Do not, under ANY circumstances, eat “real” food. All this will do is make you have to use the bathroom and waste precious time. Rather, eat the SAT textbook, so that the information is internalized and you do not have to waste time memorizing anything. It is recommended that you do this only an hour or so before the test so that you don’t have

to visit the ER until AFTER you’ve already aced the exam.

Step 5: Fake It Till You Make It

I know I told you to be ashamed of yourself, but at this point in our study plan, continuing to be ashamed of yourself would do more harm

lowing statement: “I am a testtaking ninja. I strike fear into the hearts of SAT questions, I leave them trembling in their miniscule answer boxes! I am the master of the SAT, the king of the scantron, the ruler of the multiple choice. Nothing can stop me from achieving my SAT greatness; no question is too difficult, no answer choice too obscure! Come at me, SAT, and tremble in fear!” Mommy always did say, after all, that if you say something enough times, you’ll start believing it!

OPTIONAL Step 6: Bribery

If Step 5 did not work for you and you still lack confidence, this may be the step for you. Bribe someone into taking the test for you. It’s not so difficult—all you must do is threaten to steal their gym clothes from their locker. Oh, I shudder! Every student’s worst fear! The shame of having to go to gym class without wearing the stinky gym clothes that have been marinating in their own stink since freshman year in your locker! Of course, it may be the end of your academic career if you get caught doing this, but what is life without a bit of risk?

than good. It is now time for our favorite method: the classic “Fake It Till You Make It.” If you can convince your parents that you are on track for a perfect 1600, you get an extra two weeks to plan your escape from the country! Confidence is key! Keep repeating the fol-

The Secret SING! Cult

By MICHELLE HUANG

It was another day at SophFrosh SING!. The angelic sounds of the cast and chorus were drowned out by the hammering of tech and the stomping of dance crews. Our protagonist, a small freshie, was in the hallway, taking a break from the backstage grind. It was insanely hot backstage that day, so they wandered into the main hallway of the first floor, searching for a water fountain.

But the snarling labyrinth of the first floor was unforgiving to the small freshman, and soon, they were lost. Unable to find their way back to their crew, they wandered down identical-looking corridors, searching for a way back. None was found. Just as they resigned themselves to their fate as a lost hermit on the first floor, they spotted a door with a sign labeled “SING! MEETING.”

Aha! There must be directors in there doing director things like crying about finances. They could give directions on the way back! The freshie

pushed the door open. Weirdly enough, rather than a classroom or some other normal meeting place, the door led to a supply closet. As the freshie opened the door, a heat wave struck them and they jumped back. Scattered all over the floor were empty coffee cups and shreds of college rejection letters—this was clearly a den of upperclassman misery, somewhere the freshie was intruding. In the center of the room were nine or 10 figures, each dressed in black velvet cloaks. They stood in a circle holding hands, somehow encased within a scorching ball of fire as their cloaks billowed dramatically behind them. Around the figures and painted on the walls were words written in suspicious red ink, which also burned—and was that a human hand in the corner of the room? The freshie stepped forward cautiously and tried their best to read the flaming words. Higher budget? Taylor Swift tour tickets? Senior win? The first two were valid, but what atrocities were going

on here that involved a Senior win?

As they watched, the figures joined hands. Together they chanted and cried in Latin, but the freshie was able to follow along. Finally, taking Latin as their foreign language had paid off!

“O demons, arise! Awake from your infernal slumber and wreak havoc upon our enemies!”

Meh, it was probably just Junior SING! trying to summon Satan or something to make their Bible camp more realistic. The freshie turned to leave but suddenly heard something that gave them pause.

“Grant us the unholy wishes written before you! A higher budget! Taylor Swift concert tickets! A five on my AP Physics C test! A SENIOR WIN!”

The freshie turned around. As they watched, the hooded figures chanted their wishes over and over. The words on the parchment began to writhe, and a noxious gas not unlike the smell of the bathrooms plumed out from them. The

room began to shake, and the freshie stumbled as the earthquake grew stronger, but the figures only got louder. Finally, as they yelled “SENIOR WIN!” for the last time, evil cackling filled the room. A demonic voice cried out, “AHAHAHAHA! THOSE SING! SLATE KIDS ARE BACK AGAIN! WANTING A SENIOR WIN AGAIN THIS YEAR?”

One of the figures said in reply, “Yes! Please grant us this, O Evil One, CEO of College Board!”

The voice chuckled. “Yes… these are the lengths you kids will go to to succeed… I respect that. I will grant you your wishes as you desire… Wait. I sense an uninvited presence in the room. The worst creature this planet has to offer, even worse than I.”

One of the cloaked figures gasped. “A freshman?”

“Yes… How dare you bring a freshman into this unholy chamber?! You have violated your oath of secrecy! YOU WILL BE PUNISHED!”

That is all for now. If you want to buy the full guide, please go to this link: amazon. com/SATPrepGuide. The SAT may seem like a giant monster ready to devour your hopes and dreams, but fear not. If you follow the clever strategies explained above, you will emerge victorious. Good luck, as Spec Humor is with you (we have an astonishing 1100 department average)!

The demonic voice finished its sentence, and deafening silence filled the room. The air became hotter and stickier with each passing second as the fire burned even hotter. The flames flickered and exuded inky trails, and the room exploded in an impressive fireball. The explosion’s shockwave threw the demon summoners into the hallway, and the freshie landed on their face. The cloaked figures turned to the freshie, who desperately crawled to their feet. Before any of the hooded figures could give chase, the freshie was off and running, horrified at what they had just seen.

But the threat of punishment lingered… What was in store for them?

TWO WEEKS LATER

Indeed, a horrific punishment had arrived. Something world-shaking, agonizing, and terrible. Despite everything they had tried, everything they had suffered through, the worst had happened. Soph-Frosh SING! had won.

Krystal

Khine

/ The Spectator

Super Bowl

A Super Bowl Spectacular

By KHUSH WADHWA

To some, the Super Bowl is about the football game itself. To others, it’s the detailed advertisements that corporations spend millions on. But almost everyone can agree that what makes the Super Bowl so special is its halftime show. The Super Bowl halftime show has not always been a display of some of America’s most prevalent music. However, through time, this 15-minute miniature concert has evolved into a masterful display of American values and technology, banding together the vastly diverse audience watching the show. Though listing the best shows has given rise to fierce debates, there is no denying that there have been indisputably groundbreaking Super Bowl shows that have set the stage for the revolutionized extravaganza.

First, Michael Jackson’s double-bowl halftime show in 1993, which was performed at Pasadena’s Rose Bowl but for the Super Bowl. Jackson’s show, by modern means, was quite traditional, with his excellent singing complemented by his iconic choreography. He used air geysers and a trapdoor to spur the audience's interest, transforming the Super Bowl into a must-watch event for more than just sports fans. Most significantly, the Super Bowl halftime show featured a popular artist rather than a collection of marching bands or unpopular artists. For the first time in NFL history, television audiences increased for the halftime show relative to the remainder of the game. Jackson’s flamboyant performance united sports and music fans alike, and garnered the attention of sponsors: although Frito-Lay did not pay to put their name behind the halftime show, they made a $100,000 donation to Jackson’s Heal the World charity in recognition of his performance. This set the precedent for companies like E*Trade and Pepsi, who would begin to sponsor ensuing halftime shows, al-

By KAI RUSSELL

Historically, the NHL trade deadline has never been seen as interesting. Unlike other sports, it has never had the same flashy exchanges featuring superstars— mainly due to the hard salary cap, which severely limits how much money a team can spend. There were few times, if any, when hockey deals garnered the same excitement and press attention that other trade deadlines got. Unlike past seasons, this year saw aggression from general managers weeks before the trade deadline. Most big name trade targets ended up going to the Eastern Conference in a trade war that quickly became known as the “arms race” by many. However, the three New York-area teams still managed to stand out amongst the crowd.

The New York Islanders, who are currently battling for a coveted Wild Card spot, were the team that set the ball roll-

lowing the NFL larger budgets for more bombastic shows in the future.

Our journey continues in 2001, when the September 11 terrorist attacks shook the core of America. Left searching for a unified identity, the nation was exploring a range of mediums to express their strength on. In light of this, the NFL canceled Janet Jackson’s scheduled 2002 Super Bowl Halftime show in favor of Irish pop-rock band U2, drawing on the group’s emotional performance at Madison Square Garden and their 9/11 tribute that personally touched many NFL executives. U2’s performance was a stark contrast to those prior, as they played just three songs in their entirety. However, they showed precisely why they were chosen for such a monumental performance when, during their song “MLK,” the band revealed a vertical screen displaying the names of individuals who had lost their lives in the attack.

Lead singer Bono relished in the cheers and tears, the joy and sadness, the collective emotional pit that was the New Orleans Superdome. As each name scrolled through the stadium’s rafters, the packed stadium felt an emotional connection that resonated in fans across the nation. Bono, transitioning into the show’s ultimate song, “When the Streets Have No Name,” brought this together with one lyrical change, from “It’s all I can do,” to “It’s all we can do.” Behind his jacket, Bono revealed an American flag, met by thunderous applause and cheers. As a final show of compassion, Bono demanded that the NFL keep all profits from the show; that his band performed that night for the American people, not for profits. Their performance was emotionally riveting and beautifully showcased the unity, solidarity, and comfort that America needed, emblemized in the nation’s most famous sporting event.

After U2, performances began to blend into one another

as big names, like Paul McCartney, the Rolling Stones, Prince, The Who, Madonna, Beyoncé, and others celebrated spotlight years with a passable but unspectacular show that featured recurring styles and mediums. But new ground was broken in 2015 by Katy Perry, who broke into Glendale, Arizona, on a massive robotic tiger, performing her hit song, “Roar.” Perry’s team utilized well-timed costume changes, a variety of sets, and 3D effects to visually portray the tone of each song, from the sunny summer setting of “California Gurls” and “TGIF” to the balloons and majestic skies of “Firework.” Perry and her show laid the framework that would become instrumental in performances for years to come.

However, Perry’s revolution was short-lived, as Coldplay, Beyoncé, and Bruno Mars took to a vastly different medium to engage their audience. In a homage to Jackson’s performance, Coldplay brought members of the Youth Orchestra Los Angeles to play their songs live. Additionally, Coldplay’s performance played on color schemes, as their luminescent stage was reflected in fans painting the stadium in neon colors. The color schemes were intentionally chosen to reflect Coldplay’s vibrant new album, and fans were treated to a bright and immersive performance. From there, Mars and Beyoncé stole the show after an electric and unexpected walk-on from the side of the field, providing a burst of energy with contrasting black outfits and fluid dances. For the finale, all the groups joined together on the stage for a mashup of Coldplay’s “Fix You” and “Up&Up.” The energy and appeal to all generations made Coldplay’s show one for the ages, capturing the hearts of the millions lucky enough to see it live.

Justin Timberlake headlined Super Bowl 52’s halftime show, with one of the most thrilling introductions that the show has

seen in history. His performance was a spectacular mix of old and new, as he combined the hits that brought him fame with those from his newest album, which he’d purposefully kept secret until a few days prior. In a particularly touching moment, considering Prince’s untimely passing earlier in the year and the Minneapolis setting, Timberlake paid tribute to the late singer by performing two of his most famous songs to appeal to the Minneapolis crowd. But perhaps the most significant part of Timberlake’s performance was that it was designed for television. From the set to the lighting to the dances to the camera placement, fans watching on screen were treated to a mesmerizing display of strobe lighting and color, with different sets and parts of the stadium helping to define the atmospheres of Timberlake’s diverse array of music. Though each performance was unique in its own right, few were as challenging as that of 2021, a year after the COVID-19 pandemic took America by storm. After a year of isolation in which live sports ceased to exist and lockdowns threatened the lives and livelihoods of Americans, the NFL’s Super Bowl was the first major sporting event to return to something resembling normalcy. The NFL was under pressure to put together a game and a show that could convince Americans that their cultural habits would return after an atypical year. As such, Raymond James Stadium in Tampa Bay expected nothing less than perfection from the Weeknd’s 2021 Super Bowl performance. The performance, unlike previous shows which integrated the audience in some form, demanded innovation, and the Weeknd’s crew delivered. Employing pyrotechnics and LED sets, the Weeknd used the dark Tampa skies to his advantage, recreating the neon city vibe that popularized his hit song “Blinding Lights.” Because of the raging pandemic, the performance was geared to-

Is the Stanley Cup Coming to New York?

ing. Over a month before the deadline, general manager Lou Lamoriello made a huge swing, trading a first-round pick, top prospect, and roster player for Vancouver Canucks captain and center Bo Horvat. Horvat, who at the time was the Canucks’ leading goal scorer, immediately helped the Islanders keep pace in the Wild Card race. Not only did he score timely goals in his first few games, but he filled multiple essential roles. From the start, Horvat strengthened the Islanders’ penalty kill and power play and helped elevate some of the team’s weaknesses into strengths.

A few weeks after the initial move, Lamoriello pounced on a Toronto team desperately trying to clear cap space and acquired 6’4” forward Pierre Engvall for a low draft pick. Though he never produced much during his tenure in Toronto, Engvall is wellknown as a highly skilled and speedy wing who can play up and down the lineup. Now, one

can look at the Islanders and their middling position in the standings and question why they would be a “buyer” at the deadline. However, anything can happen come playoff time. There is no better example of this than the Islanders themselves, who made back-to-back runs to the Conference Finals only a couple years ago despite beginning the playoffs as low-seeded underdogs.

The other New York team, the Rangers, saw these moves from their crosstown rivals and decided to make some of their own. The Rangers’ general manager Chris Drury acquired vaunted sniper and winger Vladimir Tarasenko and defenseman Niko Mikkola from the St. Louis Blues for a package of mostly draft picks. Though the expected production was not there at the start of his Rangers tenure, Tarasenko soon proved his pedigree by scoring five points in three games along with linemate

wards television audiences, with the Weeknd utilizing sections of the stadium that were out of the view of many fans. The show of light and dark dancing through the night was one of technical brilliance, emphasizing the bright return of major American sporting events like the Super Bowl. After a long road of constant evolution, we’ve now reached a point where a Super Bowl halftime show doesn’t need to be technically brilliant to display the culture of America’s great cities. Just a few miles southeast of SoFi Stadium, the NFL’s historic billion-dollar arena and site of Super Bowl 56, sits one of California’s oldest yet lively cities: Compton. “Hub City,” as it is known, is a center for West Coast hip-hop and rap culture, and Dr. Dre had no trouble assembling a crew of some of the greatest West Coast rappers of all time. Dr. Dre brought together members of his timeless Compton crew in Snoop Dogg, Eminem, Mary J. Blige, and 50 Cent, and the performance evoked a great sense of nostalgia from Millenials and Gen-Zs, while also shedding light on the hip-hop of today with the brilliance of Kendrick Lamar. They utilized one set that featured different rooms matching the environments of each performer’s song, with a drum set and several performances above the rooms in the style of a runaway train. On the ground, set designer Es Devlin created a flat map of the world, referencing the extent to which Compton’s music reached and resonated with listeners across the globe. In a well-choreographed show that emphasized community, Super Bowl 56 set the stage for a future of performances that balance technology, community, and character. Of course, who is on stage will always matter. But the NFL’s Super Bowl halftime show has always been about bringing the country together, and the technology and music is one of America’s finest art displays for all to enjoy.

and friend Artemi Panarin. However, the Rangers were not done there—in fact, they were far from it. In a deal that had been rumored for weeks, they traded for star wing Patrick Kane from the Blackhawks for a package that only included minor draft picks. Kane, another friend of Panarin, is widely considered to be one of the best American hockey players of all time and is famous for his flashy offense on the ice. By doing this, the Rangers bolstered their depth and skill throughout their lineup. Not only has this made them even more of a playoff threat, but it has casted them into the serious Stanley Cup contender conversation—even in a conference as deep as the East.

Even the New Jersey Devils managed to make a big splash. Despite entering this season as non-contenders, they cemented themselves as a playoff lock and made it known that they would be loading up. They formed a deal

for San Jose Sharks star Timo Meier, sending a huge package west that involved prospects and a plethora of draft picks for the 26-year-old winger. He was only an addition to an already exciting young core in New Jersey, featuring former first overall picks Jack Hughes and Nico Hischier. Meier immediately made an impact in his first game as a Devil, scoring a goal and showing both his defensive and offensive prowess. Though the Devils are a young team with little playoff experience, they certainly have the offensive tools to make a deep run in the postseason.

This year’s trade deadline was one of extremes, with the Western Conference teams selling off stars to Eastern Conference juggernauts. The East may be tough to escape, but could the New York area see a Stanley Cup championship coming to them in a few months time? Fans will have to wait and see—it should be a blast come playoff time.

NBA

A New Era of Superteams

By SARADINDU AHMED

The sun is blazing and everyone is relaxing with a cold, refreshing drink. It’s July 7, 2016, a day that would change NBA history, with the Golden State Warriors primed to add Kevin Durant to an already historical superteam. That team was thought unlikely to ever be matched in skill and dominance, which reigned true for a long time, until now. The truckload of talent shifted in bundles into the Western Conference has opened the door for a successor to the 2016-17 Warriors to emerge, as teams such as the Los Angeles Lakers, Dallas Mavericks, Los Angeles Clippers, and Phoenix Suns have acquired elite players to create a conference full of superteams.

Over the past month, both of Los Angeles’ NBA teams have been stacking up for hopeful playoff runs. To open the trade frenzy, the Los Angeles Lakers dealt guard Patrick Beverly to the Orlando Magic and acquired the 7’0” forward Mohamed Bamba to improve their big man depth, an area of concern with Anthony Davis being injury prone. Additionally, they acquired D’Angelo Russell, Malik Beasley, and Jarred Vanderbilt in a three-team trade that saw the Jazz receive Russell Westbrook, who had fallen out of favor with Los Angeles, Juan Toscano-Anderson, and Damian Jones, while the Timberwolves received Mike Conley, Nickeil Alexander-Walker, and second-round picks in 2025 and 2026. Russell and Beasley improve the Lakers’ depth, as both can provide crucial minutes and allow the Lakers to rotate players and reduce the stress on Lebron James and Davis. The Lakers gained playmakers, lethal shooters, and big man depth at the cost of only one star player, Westbrook, and have put themselves in a far better position for a hopeful playoff run.

Soon after the trade, Westbrook took a buyout from the Jazz and joined Kawhi Leonard

By JACK CAO

It was the summer of 2022 and the Italian soccer club, Napoli, had a major problem on their hands. Following another uninspiring season that left them third in the Serie A (Italy’s premier league division) and knocked out from Europe in their own stadium after a 4-2 defeat against Barcelona during the Europa League playoffs, it only seemed a matter of time before enough was enough for most of the club’s talented players.

Amongst the first to go, to every Neapolitan’s surprise, was captain winger Lorenzo Insigne, who left for a new adventure in North America to play for the Major League Soccer team, Toronto FC. Insigne had played for Napoli since he was 15 years old in their academy, and his departure foreshadowed the diaspora that was to come as striker Dries Mertens, Napoli’s all-time top scorer, and other veterans such as goalkeeper David Ospina, defender Kalidou Koulibaly, midfielder Fabián Ruiz, and striker

and Paul George on the new-look Los Angeles Clippers. The trio of Westbrook, George, and Leonard revamps a previously deflated Clippers team, who were lacking a true point guard. While George and Leonard can score in bundles, Westbrook can provide the Clippers with a unique ability to make plays for the shooters, which the Clippers have been struggling with throughout the season, as they rank 25th in assists per game in the league. Additionally, Westbrook’s dominance in the paint will help elevate the Clippers rebound metrics, as they are hovering around league average. The addition of Westbrook also benefits the Clippers’ emerging stars who can learn

Monty Williams. All [Durant] has to do is be him,” Smith said. This trade is beneficial both for Durant and the Suns, who finally have all the resources to build a championship-caliber team. Durant adds another superstar for a Suns team already loaded with superstars, but the trade cost shortens their contention window. As former-Laker player and Hall of Famer Shaquille O’Neal said, “The Suns are definitely in the question [of winning the Championship], but they have to do it now.” The Suns are clearly determined to not let history repeat itself after losing to the Dallas Mavericks in the 2021-2022 Western Conference Semifinals. The possibility of a rematch has NBA

isn’t on the court, as Irving would be able to control the flow of the game. But, both players possess a unique IQ and game sense that playing them simultaneously is conceivable, especially during the end of a game. Adding Irving was definitely a smart move from the Mavericks, as it reduces competition and allows the Mavericks to excel during any part of a game. In reaction to the Kyrie trade, ex-basketball player and current sports commentator on “NBA on TNT” Kenny Smith said, “Kyrie being traded snowballs everything because this is the first time in the NBA, there are seven or eight teams who say they can win it. Normally there’s two or three.”

The truckload of talent shifted in bundles into the Western Conference has opened the door for a successor to the 2016-17 Warriors to emerge

from his experience. The chemistry between the newly bonded trio seems promising for the often overlooked Los Angeles-based team.

However, as dominant as Los Angeles looks, the Phoenix Suns are looking like the team to beat. While many have tried, the Suns current roster resembles the 201617 Warriors most closely. The Suns have a playmaking genius in Chris Paul, a mid-range machine in Devin Booker, an all-time player in Durant, and the explosive center Deandre Ayton, boasting easily the most foolproof roster in the league. Sports Commentator Stephen A. Smith explains that Durant has walked into the perfect situation with this trade: “Durant doesn’t have to worry about being a leader, [Paul] got that covered [sic]. You don’t have to look for another star, [Booker] got that covered, [Ayton] and you have a high-level, high-IQ coach in

fans across the nation excited for what will surely be a tense series characterized by bad blood and rosters brimming with talent. The Suns weren’t the only ones gearing up for a championship run, nor were they the only ones calling the Nets about a gamechanging player. Before the Suns could make their big move, the Dallas Mavericks and the Brooklyn Nets shocked the NBA world with a trade that sent the talented but controversial Kyrie Irving to the Mavericks. After searching for the perfect complement to Luka Dončić for years, the Mavericks have given him a true superstar in Irving. However, both players are playmakers and prefer playing with the ball in their hands, so rotating either the two superstars or the lineup around them would be required. The rotation may work in favor of the Mavericks as it allows the team to boast a dominant support system even when Dončić

Forza Napoli!

Arkadiusz Milik soon followed him out the door. For any team’s future, this immense clear-out of talent and experience in such a short time would be worrying, if not downright crippling, so there was no surprise when most Serie A fans immediately disregarded the chances of the historic Neapolitan team becoming Italian champions. Or so they thought. In actuality, the season Napoli has had is nothing short of spectacular. “Gli Azzurri” currently sits on top of the Serie A table with an 18-point cushion over second-place Inter Milan, who were once thought as major favorites for the title. Furthermore, the Neapolitans boast the best defense in the league: they have only conceded 16 goals so far, and the 58 goals they have scored mean their attack is the sharpest in Italy’s first division. This dazzling form has translated into their European campaign, as they topped their UEFA Champions League group with historic 4-1 and 6-1 drubbings on bigfranchise teams Liverpool and Ajax along the way.

While the Irving trade only made the West more powerful, it signaled the beginning of the end for the Nets’ failed “Big Three” experiment, and the team acknowledged it by sending Durant to the Phoenix Suns. In the trade between the Suns and Nets, the Nets prioritized their future, receiving Mikal Bridges, Cameron Johnson, first-round picks in 2023, 2025, 2027, and 2029, in addition to a 2028 first-round pick swap. Even with this in mind, the Nets clearly lost these trades, as they lost a unique playmaker in Irving and a genuine superstar in Durant, who provided the vast majority of the team’s offensive contributions. However, after Bridges joined the Nets, he wreaked havoc in a relatively depleted Eastern Conference, boasting dominant performances against the Conference’s headliners: the Miami Heat, the Milwaukee Bucks, and Boston Celtics. With Bridges’ positive

signs, the caliber and potential of Seth Curry and Ben Simmons, and the future picks that the Nets received, the Nets have something to smile about, even after losing the triple threat of Harden, Irving, and Durant.

While others teams were making superteams, some teams in the league made small yet significant trades to add versatility to its team. Jakob Pöeltl returns to Toronto Raptors from the San Antonio Spurs after five years. Pöeltl gives the Raptors a consistent field shooter and a solid rebounder, which the Raptors’ roster had previously lacked. The Spurs, in return, get a look in the future, as the Spurs gain three picks in the draft in the following three years, hoping to cash in on talent to improve a struggling team. In a four-way trade with the New York Knicks, Charlotte Hornets, and Portland Trail-Blazers, the Philadelphia 76ers acquired Jalen McDaniels, who has bolstered his defensive performance recently. McDaniels builds the 76ers’ defensive arsenal, and complements Joel Embiid perfectly to improve the chances of the 76ers winning the trophy this year. Meanwhile, in a failed return, the Warriors received Gary Payton II from the Portland Trail Blazers, but the Trail Blazers failed to provide an adequate physical during negotiations, causing excessive drama as the deal was held up until the last possible minute. Payton II bolsters the Warriors’ depth, however, and has proved valuable for them in previous playoffs.

The trade deadline has created new combinations and possibilities that the NBA could have only dreamed of. Teams in both Eastern and Western Conferences are full of superteams creating a new balance of competition for the league and taking the game to a new level. As the intensity increases for each team on the court, the viewers can sit back, enjoy, and cheer for their already existing or newly built superteam.

“Napoli don’t play like an Italian team. They play with the most intensity by some distance. They’re aggressive without the ball…They have an incredible balance and don’t concede many goals.” Those were the words of Eintracht Frankfurt manager Oliver Glasner, who could not have been more correct after his own side was beaten by the Italian winning machine 2-0 in their Champions League round of 16 matchup. Indeed, after a frustrating tenure under the feisty manager Gennaro Gattuso, “Gli Azzurri” managed to revolutionize themselves with the appointment of Luciano Spalletti. With Spalletti’s style of play, the Neapolitan team is fluid and more dynamic than ever, seeming to have the ability to overcome any opposition they face with their intense and energized approach to the game.

Of course, none of these brilliant tactics would be carried out without the magnificent crop of talent Napoli has at its disposal. Since the major departures of Insigne, Ruiz, and

Koulibaly, the club’s sporting department headed by director Cristiano Giuntoli has done exceptionally well to secure the deals of their replacements, even at bargain prices. For example, Korean center-back Kim Minjae and Cameroonian midfielder André-Frank Anguissa were brought in for a combined fee of just €33 million, and both have grown to be key assets to the current roster.

Still, Napoli’s jewel in the crown goes by the name of Khvicha Kvaratskhelia, a 22-yearold talent unearthed from the depths of the Georgian leagues for €10 million, now tearing through European defenses with ease. Currently, the winger has scored 12 goals in all competitions and leads the Serie A assist charts with nine assists, all of which has earned him the nickname “Kvaradona” by the Napoli faithful in reference to club legend Diego Maradona.

Yet the most devastating attribute Kvicha possesses may be his frighteningly strong partnership with Nigerian striker

Victor Osimhen, who has also blown up as one of the best in the world under Spaletti’s watch. Together, the attacking duo has contributed to over half of the total goals netted by Napoli this season. Combine these astounding performances with the resurgences of other talents such as captain Giovanni Di Lorenzo, attacking midfielder Piotr Zieliński, and winger Hirving Lozano, all topped with Spalletti’s attacking mindset, and you have a team that is currently the best in all of Europe.

That said, there are still three months until European soccer seasons conclude, and Napoli has become notorious for their ability to capitulate after massive leads in both domestic and continental competitions. However, the form the Italian club has demonstrated, as well as their almost-perfect qualities as a team, has led many to conclude already that this year may finally be the one where the “Gli Azzurri” seize the Serie A title and make a glorious run in Europe for the first time in over three decades.

By DUNCAN PARK and SOHAM MUKHERJEE

This is The Spectator’s power ranking of all the teams left in the UEFA Champions League (UCL) Round of 16. At the time of writing, 16 teams are left, with the second leg still to be played. All opinions, statistics, and ideas are as of March 6, 2023

16. Eintracht Frankfurt

Key Player: Randal Kolo Muani

Currently sitting sixth in the Bundesliga, Frankfurt had arguably the toughest matchup against one of the most in-form teams in Europe. The turbulent start to the new year for the German side was about to present its most difficult challenge, the Italian giant Napoli. The first leg did not go as planned for Frankfurt, with Napoli dominating virtually every aspect of the game. A two-goal deficit coming out of the first leg and a red card for star forward Kolo Muani make the second leg look like an impossible mountain to climb for Frankfurt.

15. Club Brugge

Key Player: Hans Vanaken

Club Brugge made history this year, qualifying for the knockout rounds for the first time in their history, and becoming only the third Belgian side to do so. In the league, they are falling below standards, seeing as they have won the league in the past three seasons but so far are only managing fourth place. The team’s key player is clearly Hans Vanaken, as he’s brought in a whopping six Man of the Match performances for the Blauw-Zwart. Vanaken has dominated the midfield for some time now and is contributing going forward, as well, tallying nine goals and four assists in the league. Disappointingly, Club Brugge lost the first leg 2-0 at home against Benfica, making a trip to the quarter-finals unlikely. At the end of the day, Club Brugge will look back at one thing––qualifying for the knockout stage for the first time in the club’s history.

14. Liverpool Key Player: Mohamed Salah

A rematch of last year’s final against two mammoths of the soccer world in Real Madrid and Liverpool promised to be a thrilling encounter, and it certainly did not disappoint. What has been a rough season in the Premier League filled with embarrassing losses only got worse with the humiliating 5-2 loss to Madrid in the first leg. However, a resurgence could be right around the corner for the English side, especially given its statement 7-0 victory over rival Manchester United. Superstar Mohamed Salah netted two goals himself in that fixture, becoming Liverpool’s all-time top scorer. Now, it’ll be up to The Reds to find a miracle scoreline away from home at the Bernabeu to keep their European dreams alive.

13. Chelsea Key Player: Enzo Fernández

If there was a team that didn’t deserve a key player, it would be Chelsea. Its performances in all competitions have been woeful since the new year, winning a mere two games. Additionally, they lost the first leg to Borussia Dortmund 1-0, making it all the more difficult to see progress. While Chelsea are a world-class club that won the UCL two years ago, they are a shadow of their former self. They have changed managers and ownership, and there hasn’t been a steady hand to steer the ship. January-signing Enzo Fernández is going to be heavily called upon in the second leg, as he is the lone bright spot on this team. He shined at the World Cup and will be looking to carry this struggling team to the quarter-fi-

UCL Round of 16 Power Rankings

nals. If Chelsea somehow manages to recapture their form and morale, then they are up for a fight against Dortmund. Otherwise, it seems like the end of the road for this Chelsea team in what has been a disappointing season.

12. Porto

Key Player: Mehdi Taremi

The clash between the secondplaced teams in both the Portuguese and the Italian leagues promised to be an exciting fixture. However, the first leg ended far from ideal for Porto when a 78th-minute red card to key midfielder Otávio was followed by a late winner from Inter Milan striker Romelu Lukaku.

Porto’s star player, striker Mehdi Taremi, who has recorded most goals and assists for the Portuguese side this season, struggled to make an impact against a resilient Inter defense. Now, it’s crucial for this Porto team to dig deep and find a comeback in front of its home fans in the second leg, a challenging yet not impossible task.

11. Red Bull Leipzig

Key Player: Joško Gvardiol

In a strong season for Leipzig, they were unfortunate enough to be drawn against the champions of England in Manchester City. Leipzig is currently in the race for the Bundesliga title and managed to come back from behind to earn a 1-1 draw against City. Joško Gvardiol, the goal scorer in the first leg, is recognized as one of the best center-backs and talents in the world. He is the highest-valued center-back in the world, at €75 million, and is already in many transfer rumors. Looking at the present, Gvardiol is a rock at the back and is going to look to replicate his performance from the first leg against City’s Erling Haaland.

10. Inter Milan

Key Player: Lautaro Martínez

The Serie A title might be out of hand for Inter Milan as a near-impossible 15-point chase lies ahead of it before catching league leader Napoli. However, its performances on the European stage can turn out much differently. A close 1-0 win in the first leg over Porto, courtesy of a Lukaku strike, means that all eyes now look towards the rematch away from home at the Estádio do Dragão. Forward Lautaro Martinez has been the standout player for this season with 13 goals, sitting as the second-highest scorer in the Serie A, and will aim to play a more crucial role in the reverse fixture.

9. Tottenham Hotspur

Key Player: Harry Kane

In a rocky season for the Lillywhites, they find themselves trailing by one goal going into the second leg, a result that gives fans hope. Talisman Harry Kane leads the team with 20 goals, but he will need help from other players if Tottenham is to progress. Kane is yet to win a major title in his career full of illustrious records, and the Spurs have been searching for a trophy for 15 years, a fact that all rival fans remind them of. One reason behind their poor performances is the decline of forward Son Heung-min. Just a season ago, he won the Premier League Golden Boot, but now he looks like a shadow of his former self, with only nine goals in 37 appearances. Manager Antonio Conte’s tactical usage of Son has come under fire, but even so, Son needs to find his form––and fast. Tottenham has the experience and is looking to make another deep UCL run, but they will have to beat A.C. Milan first.

8. A.C. Milan

Key Player: Rafael Leão

Currently sitting fourth in the Serie A, defending Italian champions A.C. Milan could be having a better

domestic season. However, Milan’s combination of valued experience and youthful energy adds a dynamic aspect to its squad that few other teams in Europe share. The presence of veterans such as Zlatan Ibrahimović and Olivier Giroud has guided the development of the talented next generation in Rafael Leão, Milan’s top scorer and assist provider this season. Despite a quiet performance from Leão, midfielder Brahim Díaz stepped up to secure a 1-0 win in the first leg, and Milan will now aim to close the tie away from home at the Tottenham Hotspur Stadium.

7. Paris Saint-Germain

Key Player: Kylian Mbappé

In the city of lights, there’s always one that shines brightest––Kylian Mbappé. He amazes on the biggest stages, already having lifted a World Cup and broken numerous goalscoring records at the youthful age of 24. Though not coming away with a goal, Mbappé had numerous chances and wreaked havoc on the Bayern’s defense, all while carrying an injury. Alongside him at Paris Saint-Germain (PSG) are superstars Lionel Messi and Neymar, both needing no further introduction. The only reason why PSG aren’t at the top of the ranking is their woeful performance against Bayern Munich in the first leg, losing 1-0 at home. While Mbappé’s return to fitness is a relief, the rest of the team has been below par. The remaining players have lacked consistency and can’t create goals for themselves. Adding to the challenge, the Parisians know Neymar’s season is over and will be missing him dearly. If PSG wins in Bavaria, teams will be praying they don’t get drawn against PSG’s deadly attack.

6. Borussia Dortmund

Key Player: Karim Adeyemi

Currently second in the Bundesliga and level on points with league leader Bayern Munich, Dortmund was aiming to get the job done against an off-form Chelsea side. That is exactly how the evening went for the German side. Despite managing fewer shots on target and enjoying less possession of the ball, Dortmund held back its uninspiring opposition. The breakthrough goal came in the form of a brilliant solo counterattack run when youngster Karim Adeyemi ran the ball from a defensive clearance all the way to the Chelsea net and found a tidy finish around the keeper. Now, Dortmund will aim to use their one-goal advantage to see the second leg out at Stamford Bridge.

5. Benfica

Key Player: Gonçalo Ramos

While it may be a shock to many, Benfica has been tearing up the competition, both domestically and across Europe. Leading the league by eight points and having only lost one game, Benfica seems to be showing signs of a true competitor. While lacking a superstar after the departures of Enzo Fernández and Darwin Núñez, they have made up for it with rising sensation Gonçalo Ramos. He has hit his stride in the league and in the World Cup, but only has one goal to his name in the UCL. Looking past players, Benfica has been ranked highly due to their strong results in the competition thus far. It came out of arguably the hardest group as undefeated winners and handily put aside Club Brugge 2-0 in the first leg. If Benfica can get the job done in the second leg, there’s no reason why they can’t go further and win it all.

4. Manchester City

Key Player: Erling Haaland

With the summer transfer of Erling Haaland, many believed that City was the favorite coming into this year’s edition of the UCL. While

Haaland’s play has been out-of-thisworld at times, notching 39 goals in 38 games, he has been unable to link up City’s play and stay consistent in his form against top teams. He heavily relies on midfielder Kevin De Bruyne for service, and when De Bruyne is not delivering, Haaland isn’t either. Additionally, City’s poor history in the competition is not reassuring, as they have never won, even though they’ve spent £818.5 million on players in the last five years alone. Though these players have been largely successful, they have not been enough to push them over the top. Manager Pep Guardiola has won the trophy twice with Barcelona, but is yet to replicate that success in Manchester. Needing a win at home against Leipzig, they have the best squad and best manager to win it all.

3. Bayern Munich

Key Player: Jamal Musiala

In what many considered to be the biggest showdown of the round of 16, Bayern faced a difficult matchup in the form of French giant PSG. On paper, PSG was considered the heavy favorite, boasting an exquisite front line of Mbappé, Messi, and Neymar. While some teams may accept their bad luck in drawing such heavy opposition, Bayern rose to the challenge exceptionally well. Dominating possession, creating more offensive opportunities, and recording more shots on target, the German side even managed to contain an electrifying Mbappé display off the bench. Rising star Jamal Musiala put on a show for the fans, proving himself as Bayern’s future with an impressive 24 goal contributions this season. Despite a rocky run of results in the league, Bayern has proven its desire for European silverware this season and will now aim to repeat this same display during the second leg.

2. Napoli

Key Player: Victor Osimhen

Closing in on their first Scudetto since the days of the legendary midfielder Diego Maradona, Napoli is arguably the best team in Europe right now. Sitting at the top of the Serie A with a lead of 17 points, the Italian side has won nine games out of their 11 since the turn of the year, including a seven-game winning streak. The well-rounded squad boasts many world class play-

ers, including breakthrough defender Kim Min-jae and skillful midfielder Piotr Zieliński. The team’s success can be mainly attributed to the dynamic duo of Georgian leftwinger Khvicha Kvaratskhelia and Nigerian striker Victor Osimhen. With both players hitting scintillating forms recently, Kvaratskhelia has notched 19 goal contributions in just 21 games this season, while Osimhen is the league’s top scorer with 19 goals, scoring eight in his last seven games. Its comfortable 2-0 victory over Eintracht Frankfurt in the first leg was another routine display from the Italian side, as Napoli has become one of the favorites to win the entire tournament.

1. Real Madrid

Key Player: Vinicius Junior Real Madrid has everything it takes to become back-to-back winners: years of experience, strong results, and passionate fans. The biggest factor may be the many key veterans in its squad, with 10 of the 11 starters from last year’s UCL final returning. Though the loss of Casemiro broke up one of the greatest midfield trios to ever play the game, ready-made players were able to step up, namely summer signing Aurélien Tchouaméni and compatriot Eduardo Camavinga. Star winger Vinicius Junior was seen as a future talent for some time and is now one of the best wingers in the world, lighting up stadiums across Europe with his Brazilian flair. He has six goals and two assists in seven UCL appearances, key to Madrid’s success thus far. Midfield maestro Luka Modric and Ballon d’Or winner Karim Benzema have also heavily impacted this team, as they both search for their sixth UCL title. Watch out for the champions––they are hungry to lift the trophy with big ears for the 15th time.

Favorites such as Napoli and Benfica will aim to secure their ticket to the quarter-finals, while big names like PSG and Chelsea will be fighting to reverse first leg deficits. Could Liverpool surprise everyone with an incredible comeback against Madrid? We will give updated power rankings and reflect on our thoughts from this ranking. Look out in Issue 12 for a ranking of the teams left in the Quarter-Finals of the UCL!

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Athlete of the Issue

Nothin’ But Net

Phoenix?

By YASHNA PATEL and FREDERIK SCHUTZ

Name: Samantha (Sam) Furman

Grade: Senior

Height: 5’ 4”

Hair Color: Brown

Eye Color: Brown

Date of Birth: March 14, 2005

1. When and how did you start playing basketball? How long have you played for the Phoenix, the Stuyvesant girls’ varsity basketball team?

I grew up a soccer player and started playing soccer when I was four years old. I played through[out] high school but started doing basketball during middle school. I don’t know if I would really call it basketball, but I was on the basketball team in my middle school. So by the time I got to Stuy, I had been playing a lot of basketball. I tried out in my freshman year and have been on the team since: all four of my years at Stuy[vesant] except for my sophomore year, which we lost to COVID.

2. What position do you play? What skills/strengths are involved?

The position I play definitely depends on who I am playing with. In years past, when we’ve had other seniors on the team, I would be more of a shooting guard, but now, in senior year, I have stepped up to the role of point guard. I basically make sure the pace of the game is what it needs to be, orchestrating plays and calling things out. But also, obviously, when you think of basketball, you think of really tall people, but I am not that (the authors of this article refuse to write my height as 7’ 3’’). And so I think that as a point guard, there are benefits to that smaller size and being able to move fast and get up the court quickly while being versatile. You have to be able to see the entire court and know what you’re going to do before you get the ball in your hands. Quick decision-making is really important as a point guard.

3. Do you participate on an outside team, and how does your experience on the Stuyvesant team differ?

I play for a team called the East Side Escalades, which is a basketball program that has players ranging from elementary to high school, and I play on the high school team with girls from around the city. The difference depends on which year you’re looking at. Last year, while playing for my travel team, it was definitely different from Stuy[vesant] because we were playing in a lot of exposure tournaments, so there was a lot more travel involved. But overall, the pace of the game is much faster outside of school, as well as shooting percentage and team strength. At Stuy[vesant], we have a strong, well-rounded team where we don’t have to rely on one star player, whereas other teams in the league definitely do rely on that one star player.

4. Do you have a most memorable/proud moment with the

I’m going to have to go with our senior night this year. We were obviously upset that we knew our team wasn’t going to make playoffs this year, but at the end of the day, we knew that this was going to be our last game, and we just all decided to leave it all out there; it’s us, this game and that’s the season, and there’s nothing else to do but go all out. The energy of that game was super special. Everyone was just so ready and happy to be there, and it was a good game, too, with the game going back and forth a lot, and I do think it was some of the best basketball we’ve played. We had a really one-of-a-kind and unforgettable senior night because the underclassmen on the team did an outstanding job. I know that the other seniors and I are never going to forget that night. We all decided to go out together.

5. How do you think playing basketball has changed you as an athlete/person?

Basketball has helped me as a person in a lot of different ways. It’s that grounding thing, that one constant that I know I can always go back to. No matter what’s happening, or what time of year it is, I know that sports are something I can always go back to. I really value and appreciate that it’s a team sport. I think part of that is important because it has given me a solid group of people that I can always go to, whether [it be] my travel team, school team, or camp. Beyond that, it’s also a universal language. I can go anywhere in the city and just hop in a pickup game or see someone in a Knicks jersey because basketball has this really special ability to connect people.

6. Do you have any plans to continue the sport in the future or in college?

Last year, I was going through the recruiting process. I went to many different clinics and met some coaches, but I just decided that wasn’t the route for me. But, basketball will always be a huge part of my life. I will definitely look into playing some intramural club basketball and also continue to play as a camp counselor and coaching my all-girls team at Dribbl.

7. Do you have any pregame superstitions or rituals?

I’ll admit, I used to have a pretty large number of superstitions and rituals that revolved around sports. One thing is that I would always untie and then retie my shoes before anytime it was a new quarter. My big one last year was that I wouldn’t wear my basketball shoes off the court. It got pretty intense, to the point that I would take my shoes off after the end of the second quarter. I would walk out of the gym wearing just socks, with my shoes in hand, just to get to our halftime talks in the hallway.

That being said, I minimized the severity of many of those superstitions this year, which is something I’m actually proud of. Don’t get me wrong, superstitions are and always have been a huge part of sports culture. My brother wears his go-to New York Giants jersey whenever we’re watching a big game, and I

always wear the same hat when I got to Knicks and Liberty games. And, of course, I think that there are superstitions, like “you have to make your last shot,” that have the potential to motivate people and promote team spirit and bonding. But I think they can become problematic when we get so hyper fixated on the superstition itself that we end up sacrificing our part in the game. If a game doesn’t go your way, I think it’s better to try and understand what went wrong and where, rather than getting caught up in the color Gatorade someone drank that day. Whenever our team won a game, it was always important to emphasize that we didn’t win because someone was wearing their lucky socks or because someone hit the doorway on their way in— we won because of us.

If I had to think of one superstition from this season, though, it would be: do not call a shot before the ball goes in!

8. Do you have a specific free throw routine? What is it?

First, I, of course, get fouled. As I make my way over to the line, I rub my hands on my shorts and stretch my shoulders. Once the [referee] gives me the ball, I center myself to the hoop, let the ball rest on the front of my right thigh, and take a death breath. While keeping my eyes on the rim, I bend my knees and take a few dribbles. When the ball feels right, I get it into my shooting pocket and release.

9. What is your jersey number? What made you decide that number?

I definitely used to be like most other young, new athletes and tried to get #14 for my birthdate or how old I was or whatever it was. In middle school and as a freshman at Stuy[vesant], my basketball jersey number was 23, which was pretty cool given the basketball greats who also wore 23. When I started playing for my AAU team, I was randomly given number one (although I do think it had something to do with my whopping 5’ 4” height and the fact that smaller jerseys usually have smaller numbers). Since it’s a single-digit number and is pretty much just a line, I think I grew to like it because it kind of made me feel balanced in a way. In any event, when we got new jerseys when I was a junior, I wanted to be consistent so I got number one for that season and this one, too. I have to say, though, it is always a little awkward when someone asks me what my number is and I have to reply “I’m number one” or even just with number one.

10. What are the best and worst parts of basketball?

Worst: The unequal treatment as a girl.

Basketball has the potential to do so much for so many people. It’s really become such a huge part of my life, but I would be remiss if I didn’t bring up the obstacles I’ve faced as a female basketball player and a female athlete in general. Don’t get me wrong: sports have come a very long way for women, and women have come a very long way in sports. I know that a lot of

progress has been made, and I’m not denying that there are always going to be differences in sports as a result of gender, at least to some extent. As much as we’ve all taken huge steps forward with regards to equality, though, there are still plenty of issues that really challenge our efforts and inhibit women in sports.

In my personal experience, I can’t count how many times I’ve felt alienated on the court on the account of being a girl. Sometimes, the inequality is blatant, like when guys at the gym flat out refuse to let you get in the game, or when they ask what you think you’re doing there, argue that they refuse to guard you, or tell you to get off the court and make way for the “actual basketball player.” Other times, it’s more subtle, like when everyone silently agrees to avoid giving you the ball at all costs, or babying the passes they do give you, yelling for one more pass one when you have the open shot, etc., but even the unspoken stuff gets so frustrating. Some people think they’re doing you a favor, or they make a point of your presence just to show that “sexism no longer exists in sports,” but the sweeping of it under the rug kind of just goes to show that it’s a frustration and a disappointment that you can’t really get unless you’ve experience it.

In a larger sense, it’s really great that female athletes are finally starting to get the recognition they deserve, such as in increasingly fair pay and fairer advertising, but sports are not immune to social pressure. There’s also a lot of misunderstanding when it comes to what women are asking for, and I think a lot of that is the result of those in power refusing to take their hands off their ears to even just sit down and listen. Even when progress appears to be made on paper, it’s a drop in the bucket when it comes to changing the tides of how females are actually viewed and treated.

Politics aside, if you still think people are making a big thing where there isn’t one, I’d suggest taking a look at any of the big sports Instagram accounts like ESPN or BleacherReport. For one thing, take a look at the difference between females and males in the number and types of the posts. After scrolling through all the men’s highlights and the occasional posts featuring female athletes, there are also some great videos of LSU’s WBB pre-game handshakes, or LSU’s Flau’jae singing in a post-game interview—not a single game clip though. If you’re still not convinced, just click on some of the posts about female professionals and read some through the comment section. There’s not really anything for me to say about that. I try my best to not look because it can be deprecating, but it’s really just awful.

As much love as I already have for basketball, there’s a lot of potential for the game to grow and become so much bigger than it is. That’s one of the reasons why coaching at Dribbl is so important to me, and especially my classes of all girls, because I want them to grow into the sport with the confidence and the skills to know that they don’t need to be

sidelined on account of their sex. And I’m hopeful that as efforts continue to move in the right direction, things will get better. We’re not asking for retribution—just that you’d at least give us our shot.

Best: The universal nature of the sport.

Basketball is just one of those sports that lends itself to being widespread and easily accessible wherever you are. For me, basketball really serves as a universal language that brings together a really huge community of all different types of people. Whether it’s a pick-up game at the park, a playoff game at your school, a live game at Madison Square Garden, or the NCAA March Madness tournament on TV, it can connect anyone who wants to be connected. That also goes back to the multitude of ways for someone to get involved—if you aren’t the best three-point shooter, maybe you are really good at driving to the hoop or setting up an assist for your teammate to score. Basketball is really great, too, because there are so many ways you can practice and improve on your own (putting up shots, practicing your form, doing ball handling); there are hoops all around the city, and all you really need is a hard floor and a basketball. It’s truly a sport in which all the different pieces work together to be successful.

At the end of the day, after everyone has been grinding on their own and focusing on getting themselves better, it’s not a solitary sport. There’s five players per team on the court at a time, who all need to play as one to win, and I think that’s a mindset that can be applied to so many things. Relating this back to what I thought was the worst part, there are so many ways for young girls to get involved and find their place in basketball. If we can introduce them to the sport now, help see themselves as part of the community, and support them so they can someday leave their mark, just think about how amazing that would be for the sport as a whole. Think of all the doors that would be opened, all the possibilities of so many things to come! Ultimately, basketball has always been and continues to be a constant in my life, and it is something which I know I can always go back to.

Funniest Teammate: Venus

Wan

Favorite Professional Basketball Player: Sabrina Ionescu

Favorite NBA Team: NY

Knicks Favorite WNBA Team: NY

Liberty

Playing on Full or Light

Stomach: Light

Favorite Sports Drink: Gatorade Zero Cool Blue

Favorite Hobby: New York

Times Crossword

Motto to Live By: “Just do it”

Basketball Shoe Brand: Moolah Kicks

Fun Fact: The Founder of Moolah Kicks follows me on Instagram.

Favorite Play to Run: Stuy[vesant] Marion

Girls’ Table Tennis

By AHMED RADWAN Stuyvesant’s

girls’ varsity table tennis team, the Peglegs, were crowned PSAL champions for the second consecutive year, maintaining an undefeated record in the regular season, 12-0 in both years. Take a look into their winning ways:

Entering this season was a new beast to tackle. The Peglegs’ success last year left a target on their backs from previous opponents, who have since improved and were motivated to take down the champions. However, this team was not lacking in star power, and its individuals had enough accolades to speak for their talent: sophomore co-captain Alyssa Kang, a repeat PSAL individuals champion, senior captain Larissa Yue, this year’s individual runner-up and PSAL Pinstripe Award winner, and senior Anastacia Titov, who finished undefeated in her regular season and playoff career, along with their supporting cast of doubles players and reserves.

Their talent was put on display as they breezed through the regular season. Table tennis matches are divided into five games: three doubles and two singles. These games are divided into five sets, and the first to three sets wins, needing 11 points to win a set. The Peglegs didn’t drop a single set in any of their regular season

NFL

How the Peglegs Completed the Repeat

matches, winning every game 5-0, heading into the playoffs as the number one seed. The ability to win almost every match flawlessly

didn’t seem to faze the Peglegs as they continued with their winning ways, striving to improve, as they knew opponents were waiting to

played games, or studying videos of our opponents on the Staten Island express bus,” Yue said. The team’s commitment to refining

By TOMAS LEVANI

Chelsea is an elite English football team with a history of triumph. They have gathered 34 trophies in their history, making them one of the most successful clubs in the hyper-competitive Premier League. They won the UEFA Champions League in 2021, a competition widely recognized as the most prestigious in club football. At the time, their team was versatile and adaptive. Their impregnable backline consisted of defenders Thiago Silva, Antonio Rüdiger, and C é sar Azpilicueta. N’Golo Kanté dominated the midfield, consistently creating chances and maintaining control of the ball. Forwards Christian Pulisic and Kai Havertz were consistently among the highest scorers in football. Chelsea was able to form a nearly perfect team. However, their success was only temporary.

As of the 25th matchday of the 2022-23 Premier League season, Chelsea are nowhere near the top of the table. They are currently standing in 10th place, 11 points behind the coveted Champions League spots. On top of that, they have spent $388.5 million in the winter marketplace, breaking all records for highest expenditure during a trade window. They bought central midfielder and Argentine wonderkid Enzo Fernández for €120 million, midfielder Mykhailo Mudryk for €70 million, and defender Benoît Badiashile for €37 million, to name a few. Despite these expensive purchases, Chelsea is only at the middle of the table, posting no wins in their last four games and even losing 0-1 to bottom-of-

without dropping a set is a testament to the consistency and depth that the team possesses.

Championship teams in any sport rarely ever win back-toback, often due to complacency and a change in mindset. This

pounce on any mistake. “I really admire our entire team’s motivation to win. Everyone works incredibly hard toward improving, whether that is staying to practice after practice has technically ended, rewatching videos of our

their game was put on display on their playoff run this year.

The Peglegs found themselves suiting up to play in the finals of the PSAL championship on February 9, following a run that saw them beat Franklin D. Roosevelt

From Riches to Rags

the-table Southampton at home. Why is this happening?

Key departures and panic signings are primary reasons for Chelsea’s poor performance.

Forward Timo Werner and centerbacks Andreas Christensen and Rüdiger all left Chelsea’s team this season, creating gaps in the team’s offense and defense. These players were critical to the team’s structure, and replacing them was a difficult task. In order to address the situation, Chelsea bought many new players under their new American owner, Todd Boehly. However, none of their new players have been impactful for various reasons. Forward Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang is off form, having scored only one goal in his last eight games. Defender Wesley Fofana is constantly injured and struggles to get playtime. Defenders Marc Cucurella and Kalidou Koulibaly are having a hard time adapting to the team, not assisted by their lack of form. Similarly, Fernández and Mudryk have performed underwhelmingly and have been slow to adapt to manager Graham Potter’s game plans. However, new signings make up eight players out of Chelsea’s starting 11, which in part explains why the team has not been able to see results.

Chelsea’s performance has also been marred by internal drama. Last season, all of Chelsea’s bank accounts were frozen, leaving staff’s and players’ salaries suspended. When American billionaire Boehly bought the club, he paid the overdue wages but caused new problems for the team. The owner’s flamboyant oversight contradicted manager Thomas Tuchel’s calm

and systematic style. One significant dispute between the pair was over the signing of Cristiano Ronaldo. Boehly supported his purchase, while Tuchel was hesitant, as he claimed Rondaldo would not fit into his system. This ultimately led to Tuchel’s firing and Potter’s hiring as the new manager. Tuchel was loved at Chelsea and had a large impact on the players. The adaptation of a less experienced and less popular manager has hurt the team strategically and psychologically. Despite having a series of talented forwards, Chelsea’s attack is rarely able to score. A major reason for this is the confusing, passive attacking strategy employed by Potter. The Chelsea players are arranged in a way that provides little support for the player possessing the ball, which generally means that Chelsea loses their attacking momentum after an attacker attempts to score a difficult goal from far away. Additionally, Chelsea lack the motivation and killer instinct to outperform high quality teams in high-pressure situations. Though this may not be completely Potter’s fault, it is apparent that his presence in the locker room is not enough to inspire and guide the Chelsea’s team to victory.

The last major problem contributing to Chelsea’s mediocre performance has been poor decision-making from owners. Chelsea has a history of sacking managers, with 17 manager swaps in the last 20 years. Instead of sticking with a manager like Arsenal did with Mikel Arteta, Chelsea constantly fires managers after a few losses. Additionally, they have a history of firing managers after expensive

High School, Staten Island Tech, and Brooklyn Tech in near flawless fashion, undefeated in their singles matches led by Kang, Yue, and Titov. In their final match against Flushing, the team won 5-0, narrowly succeeding in its final doubles match to secure the sweep. “Finally overcoming the last challenge, Flushing High School in the finals, was a relief, but the victory was also satisfying in the sense that that moment of victory is what we had been working to achieve for four months,” Coach Emilio Nieves said. Though talent is a major factor, Nieves recognizes that the team’s dedication is what brought them victory. “What really separates us is the commitment to success. We all recognized what we could accomplish and dedicated ourselves to it through many practices, and [we preserved] through college applications, journeys to Staten Island to play games and getting home after 7:00 p.m., and navigating the rigorous academic responsibilities teachers at Stuyvesant regularly subject their students to. Persevering through all of that and accomplishing our championship goal is truly impressive,” Nieves said. With the departure of key starters and seniors, next year will be a challenging prospect but one that will truly test the mindset and abilities of the younger players.

transfer windows, a feat seen with both Tuchel and his predecessor, Frank Lampard. Not only has firing managers caused the club instability, but it also prevents managers from installing long-term plans, wasting the large amounts of money at their disposal during transfer windows.

This season has been disappointing for Chelsea fans, and it seems as if it is progressively getting worse. Will Potter be

able to stabilize the team and move up in the table, or will he be sacked, and which would cause further problems? Are Chelsea going to live up to their name and secure a trophy? Or are they going to disappoint their fans and tear apart their reputation? Only time will tell, and though Chelsea’s season has been disappointing for fans to watch, the drama demonstrated how even the best teams cannot sustain success forever.

Chelsea F.C. defeated Borussia Dortmund 2-0 to advance to round two of the Champions League.

Stuyvesant’s boys’ varsity basketball team, the Runnin’ Rebels, concluded their season after a tied-second-place finish in the competitive Manhattan I division.

Manchester United won the EFL Cup, defeating Newcastle United 2-0. Shortly after, Manchester United posted their worst Premier League loss of all time, a 7-0 defeat at the hands of Liverpool F.C

The NHL trade deadline closes, with Eastern Conference teams acquiring a plethora of talent. Most notable were the New Jersey Devils’ acquisition of Timo Meier, and the New York Rangers’ acquisitions of Vladimir Tarasenko and Patrick Kane Memphis Grizzlies star Ja Morant seeks personal help after live-streaming himself carrying a gun into a nightclub.

The Baltimore Ravens placed a non-exclusive franchise tag on quarterback Lamar Jackson, allowing him to engage in negotiations with other teams.

UEFA management issued refunds to about 20,000 fans from Liverpool F.C. after investigations showed that fans were subjected to near-deadly overcrowding.

The New York Giants sign franchise quarterback Daniel Jones to a four-year, $160 million contract.

Reem Khalifa / The Spectator