The Spectator
“The Pulse of the Student Body”
The Stuyvesant High School Newspaper
Volume 109 No. 14
April 18, 2019
stuyspec.com
Matt Melucci / The Spectator
2019 ENDORSEMENTS
20/20 Visian: Vishwaa Sofat and Julian Giordano By THE SPECTATOR EDITORIAL BOARD
Platform: 4/5 The Visian platform holds more substance than even the 19-page platform would indicate. While their proposed policies are a continuation of the work of past administrations, they are feasible and would benefit the student body if implemented. Record: 5/5 Sofat and Giordano have served in the SU for all of their years at Stuyvesant, bringing with them an unmatched level of experience. They have consistently supported all members of the community throughout that time. Campaign: 5/5 Both Sofat and Giordano went into the SU Debate and our interview with an impressive level of preparation and respect. They upheld a professional appearance and conduct, even when directed with accusations of embezzlement.
Having served as Freshman Caucus and Sophomore Caucus President in 2016 and 2017, and as Student Union (SU) Vice President since 2018, junior Vishwaa Sofat continues to pursue serving the student body as he runs for SU President with sophomore Julian Giordano as his running mate. The “Visian” campaign distinguishes itself from the two others with the fact that the Sofat-Giordano ticket rests on experience. In both the debate and more so during the interview with the managing board, Sofat and Giordano demonstrate the knowledge and working dynamic necessary for an effective and receptive administration, earning The Spectator’s endorsement. The Visian campaign, beginning with its 19-page platform and continuing with our twohour interview, shows dedication, effort, and care to further their slogan of “inclusivity, transparency, and accessibility.” The platform dedicates a section to Sofat and Giordano’s accomplishments while working within the SU and in communities outside of Stuyvesant, testifying to them having a combined “half a decade of experience in the SU.”
While knowledge from experience built the foundations of their concrete platform, working together in close partnership for two years has established a strong, complementary dynamic between Sofat and Giordano. Finding a running mate who would be on the same page—who would “share that same ‘visian’”—was important to Sofat. It is clear that he and Giordano stand on the same page in terms of philosophy and policy; during the interview, either Sofat or Giordano would continue from where the other left off when elaborating on their platform. Finding a running mate who would also introduce a different way of approaching an issue was equally important a criterion; Sofat recognized disagreements between him and Giordano as a way to help him rethink his methods and beliefs. In terms of working relations, Sofat combines his strong grasp in administrative affairs with Giordano’s expertise in out-of-school affairs. The combination of Sofat’s senate-level connections and Giordano’s local-level connections allows the Visian ticket to work on multiple tiers. In terms of
personalities, Giordano’s caution complements Sofat’s assertion when interacting with the administration. Sofat acknowledged that such interactions necessitate “[asking] for forgiveness after instead of approval first.” Though Sofat admits that Giordano might have trouble doing so, he attests to Giordano’s initiatives and ability to gauge when to assert himself. It is worth noting that both Sofat and Giordano were aware of and openly described each other’s weaknesses. To us, this demonstrated effective communication and a clear sense of trust. Sofat and Giordano’s effective collaboration has led to a list of policy proposals that are extensible, feasible, and beneficial to the student body. At first glance, many of Visian’s policies appear to be mere incremental improvements to existing efforts underway by the SU, such as improving dances and increasing the selection of beverage vending machines available within the school. But the iterative nature of these proposals obscures the thought and effort that has gone into them. The vast experience of both Sofat and Giordano is exemplified
by their in-depth knowledge of each one of their policies. For example, when asked about the Tea’s Tea vending machine’s compliance issues, Giordano was immediately able to pull up the DOE regulations regarding selling food and drinks in schools, and effectively explained how the SU procured the vending machine and the potential problems surrounding it. Both Sofat and Giordano possess this ability to go into the nitty-gritty details of implementing various policies, and are able to explain how they would modify policies that they had previously failed to accomplish. The unique degree of experience embodied in the Visian campaign stands out most strongly in regards to their fifth-floor balcony proposal. Both Sofat and Giordano have worked with the administration and governmental organizations in an attempt to secure grants to fund the project, and they have carefully tabulated the educational, emotional, and environmental benefits of the project for both the Stuyvesant and TriBeCa communities. Continued On Page 2
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The Spectator ● April 18, 2019
Endorsements 20/20 Visian: Vishwaa Sofat and Julian Giordano Continued from Page 1 No other ticket possesses the connections and experience with bureaucracy needed to implement ambitious proposals like upgrading Stuyvesant’s infrastructure. Giordano and Sofat have had two and three years, respectively, to immerse themselves in these issues and form the relationships with school administrators that are necessary to put
these proposals in place, a head start we believe is insurmountable by the other tickets. And Visian manages to maintain an emphasis on proposals that would directly help the student body, like PSAL frees and the enforcement of a new homework policy, while Sleazoids and Tam-Kuke seemed to focus more on SU-specific reforms that mean less to voters. While Visian’s commitment to thoughtful policy proposals sets them apart from the pack,
their professionalism and character cement our endorsement of the ticket. Throughout the SU Debate and our interview, we observed a high degree of respect, with both Sofat and Giordano avoiding ungrounded insinuations or ad hominem attacks against other candidates. They also proved to be helpful in arranging our interview and in ensuring our coverage could be posted in a timely fashion, reflecting an understanding of the impor-
tance of collaboration with others that’s essential for the SU. Most importantly, however, Sofat and Giordano are untainted by any evidence that they do not respect the LGBTQ+ or female communities at Stuyvesant; the same cannot be said for the other tickets. In fact, in his closing argument during the SU Debate, Sofat made sure to clarify: “I believe in women’s rights, I believe in LGBTQ rights.” The fact that this statement was necessary
speaks to the abysmal state of this year’s campaigning season. Visian is the only ticket we can trust to serve as role models for the student body and ensure every community feels safe at Stuyvesant. Ultimately, it is due to the combination of Sofat and Giordano’s teamwork, experience, policies, and character that The Spectator Editorial Board is endorsing their run for SU President and Vice President.
Peter Tam and Ted Kuke
Platform: 3/5 The Tam-Kuke campaign’s platform wasn’t poor by any means. Instead, it was distinctly average: it lacked the original, inspirational idea that is a prerequisite for any successful platform and wasn’t well developed. Tam-Kuke’s proposal to create a Student Congress was innovative and a genuine attempt at reform, but it lacked the planning and forethought needed to be successful. There’s not much wrong with the platform, but there also isn’t much to praise. Solid, but unspectacular.
Matt Melucci / The Spectator
Record: 2/5 As outsider candidates with no prior experience in student government, the Tam-Kuke campaign has little in the way of a track record of success. There is no evidence to suggest it has the connections with the administration necessary to institute change, though both candidates do seem committed to increasing the participation of the general student body. Though the Tam-Kuke campaign has the potential to eventually take up a prominent role within the Stuyvesant leadership and build an impressive political resume, at the moment, it lacks both of those.
By THE SPECTATOR EDITORIAL BOARD After an unsuccessful run for Student Union (SU) Vice President last year, junior Peter Tam aims to go one better this time around. Alongside his running mate, sophomore Ted Kuke, Tam has run a reformoriented, outsider campaign seeking to “renovate” and “redefine” student government. Though the Tam-Kuke campaign has sought to paint the inexperience of its leaders as something that would help them serve as a breath of fresh air in a SU often seen as dynastic, it has appeared instead to hinder the Tam-Kuke campaign throughout their run. The Tam-Kuke campaign’s lack of experience has influenced its policies. Its flagship initiative, the creation of a “Student Congress”—a voting bloc comprised of two homeroom representatives from each homeroom who would assist the Student Union when it comes to large decisions— wasn’t assiduously planned. During an interview with The Spectator Managing Board, Tam and Kuke were forced to consider an online voting system after it was brought to their attention that their original plan would create a maladroit body of over 300 students. The Student Congress would control the impeachment progress, showing that Tam and Kuke also hope to give more power to students and create a more nuanced im-
peachment process. Currently, the SU Chief of Staff has to make the motion for impeachment. The motion is then voted on by the Executive Cabinet, passing with a two-thirds majority. It is then approved by the Coordinator of Student Affairs and the principal. However, Tam and Kuke propose that this motion be offered instead by the student body, though they fail to include how the student body would voice such a concern. The Student Congress—elected representatives—would then vote in favor of impeachment. Another Tam-Kuke initiative aimed at restructuring and changing the role of the SU is their focus on reporting controversial or inappropriate activities. Tam and Kuke believe the SU should have the power to intervene and monitor any “conversation deemed controversial,” any threats, or any physical altercations involving Stuyvesant students. The ticket was unable to provide the guidelines for what would be deemed questionable content. They also failed to explain why their policy would be an improvement on the current system, in which SU leaders are moderators of the Dear Incoming Facebook groups and have the power to involve the administration if they deem it necessary. Ultimately, the Tam-Kuke platform falls far short of “redefining” the student government. Many of their proposals, including efforts to increase
“connections with alumni” and the “frequency of dances,” expand on already existing initiatives. Tam and Kuke failed to explain how their administration would change or expand on the status quo. Other Tam-Kuke proposals are well-intentioned, but equally uninspiring. The candidates were unaware of the changes already being proposed to the current homework policy; when told what they were, they appeared open to continuing them, but simultaneously wanted to introduce new initiatives. Tam and Kuke supported allowing students to “contact [the] SU anonymously” to report “grossly excessive homework” but wanted to resolve disputes via “friendly, constructive meetings with teachers.” Tam and Kuke supported the establishment of a universal grading platform but were again unaware of existing attempts by the administration to do so. They lacked insight into what platform they would be using—their platform suggested that Jupiter Ed was their gradebook of choice but Tam and Kuke equivocated, saying that this wasn’t a final decision. In another part of its platform, the Tam-Kuke campaign has placed emphasis on cleanliness and sanitation, branding them as pillars of student health. In order to fund projects like the installation of automatic hand sanitizer stations outside bathrooms and the installation of automatic faucets
Campaign: 2/5 The Tam-Kuke campaign’s most evident struggles were in arguably the most important part of a run for office: a well-run, marketable campaign that attracts positive attention. Perhaps due to their inexperience in the management of large-scale projects, Tam and Kuke failed to put together a campaign capable of propelling them to victory. They fell behind early: while other campaigns built strong social media presence and created pages with large followings, Tam and Kuke dragged their feet. Until the Sunday before election week, their promotion was largely limited to the distribution of plain posters bearing the candidates’ names and lacking any substance. When they eventually did begin to promote their campaign via social media, they failed to garner any positive attention; instead, their posts were overshadowed by a simultaneous social media controversy over comments made by Kuke during his freshman year. Tam and Kuke’s release of a video detailing their campaign’s platform and credentials was undoubtedly a step in the right direction in terms of promotion, but it failed to have a significant impact on the race. Tam and Kuke also experienced severe delays to their planned website: at the time of writing, it still hasn’t been released. Again, Tam and Kuke’s naiveté haunted them: they were unable to coordinate a campaign capable of raising awareness about their policies while painting them in a positive light. Tam and Kuke made an effort to do so, but it was an unsuccessful one.
and soap dispensers, they plan to use money they referred to as the SU’s “cushion.” This cushion is a reserve of money saved in case large-scale events like SING! do not provide the revenue the SU needs to remain solvent. Instead of saving these funds for a possible catastrophe in the future, the Tam-Kuke campaign wants to use them to better student health during their administration. Tam also expressed that their administration would also look into applying for grants. The campaign also aims to collaborate with the Wellness Council and other clubs to encourage cleanliness and wellbeing, an idea also voiced by other tickets.
Tam and Kuke also want to use this cushion to provide financial aid for both students and clubs. For students, they aim to increase the frequency of dances to relieve stress while also decreasing the entry price. They could not provide an estimate of how much the reduced entry fee would be. For clubs, Tam and Kuke hope to provide funds to clubs based on the size of the club, the number of members who qualify for financial aid, and the educational value of the activity. The SU already allocates funds for emerging and newer clubs who do not receive funding from the Parents’ Associacontinued on page 23
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Joining Spec? The Editorial Board shares all you ever need to get started in each department. see page 13
Volume 1069 No. 1420
“The Pulse of the Student Body”
Arts & Entertainment editors Jacqueline Thom, Emma Linderman, and Jiahe Wang, and Web editor Darius Jankauskas declare a winner out of several different water brands.
see page 22
April 18, 2019
wikipedia.com
SU Interviews: Blooper Reel Highlights
By ERIN LEE Everyone knows that Science editors Maddy Andersen and Erin Lee exclusively interview Freshman Caucus overlords Willy Wang and Vish-UVV So-FAT. In fact, they’ve contacted them so much that now, their interviews are no longer productive, and are instead filled with distractions, bizarre comments, and the occasional frequent yelp or cry from Wang. The corruption is undeniable—I mean, the SU and The Spectator? Collaborating? Sharing insider information? (How terrible.) But because The Spectator is all about transparency, here are the behind-the-scenes of the many, many, many SU articles written about the iconic duo who held office this year. *NOTE: all interview excerpts actually happened in real life. This is not libel or slander. Magazine Article interview (Erin and Vishwaa sitting at a table at Carvel with Maddy listening in on the phone.) (Maddy typing for some reason.) VS: Why is she typing; I’m not even speaking, like, what are you typing? EL: Maybe she’s texting [him]. VS: (enthusiastically) She definitely is. She is definitely texting [him]. Oh my god Erin, you’re such a legend. EL: I’m a genius. Maddy, can we start? First question. VS: If only you used these skills to find yourself someone. MA: Um, Erin, where are our questions? We didn’t make a list. *unnecessary chatter for five minutes* EL: Can we start this? Maddy, what was the first thing you told me about, the— VS: Guess what’s today. Guess what’s todayyyy. EL: (slightly uninterested)
By CATHERINE DELL’OLIO The average non-triathlete Stuyvesant student can spend up to half an hour “riding the escalators,” which is how Stuyvesant students describe trekking up an overgrown metal staircase. Spending all of this time with our beloved and detested escalators fosters a sense of personality in each of these escalators. With most of the escalators now unfortunately shut down, a certain amnesiac nostalgia can be felt throughout the school for these stoic giants. After all, the school’s stairwells have very little personality other than being “crowded” and “slightly less crowded.” Perhaps you have a soft spot for one of the Stuyvesant escalators, more numerous than those in the state of Wyoming, because you can most closely relate to its unique personality. Which escalator are you like? And as with all of life’s greatest questions, what better way to answer this with a multiple choice test?
Your one month anniversary. VS: (shocked) How do you know? EL: (also shocked) Oh, I got it right? VS: Yeahhhhh. EL: *small celebration after actually getting something right* ... EL: Okay, so I think Will might be able to answer this question better because he’s older— VS: Damnnn. She came at my life. ... EL: (to Maddy) Oh, I had one extra question I wanted to ask. Do you have anything else to add before we leave Facebook and experience? (topics of the interview: the impact of Facebook and experience on elections) *No response* EL: ...Is she there? VS: MADDY ANDERSEN. Please report. Stop messaging [him], you can do that later. MA: (returns) I am not. Um— VS: He said otherwise. MA: What? VS: Continue please, I don’t have all day. I’m not free like you. EL: I have to leave soon, too. MA: Well, I’m not home either. VS: Yes you are. MA: Anyway, moving on to the next topic. (asks long, slightly confusing question) Do you understand? EL: Yeah. VS: No, I don’t understand English, wanna explain it to me? Continue. MA: Okay, wait hold on— (continues explanation) VS: *exasperated sigh* EL: *lays head down on table* VS: *starts hitting Erin’s head* …You have a nice head. … MA: In terms of Facebook posts, do you think quality over quantity holds true?
VS: (answering question) Um, quality over quantity, in terms of Facebook posts, I— *fan blowing loudly in background* VS: (mimicking fan) AaAaAAAaaAAaAAaaaaAAA VS: Okay, quantity over quality in Facebook posts— … VS: I’ve highkey given all my tricks here. I’m just saying. Now you guys know how to win an election. MA: Yeah, that’s totally what I’m gonna do next year. VS: So if Spectator doesn’t work out, just remember, I’ll always endorse you guys for SU. I’m so serious, run for Junior Caucus, oh my god, run for Junior Caucus. Jane, if you hear this, these kids are not worth it to be in Spectator. They should be in SU. Continue with your question. I’m all ears.
PSAL Interview (Erin and Vishwaa; latter is wearing his glasses with a missing left temple piece) VS: *giving a serious answer quite solemnly* EL: *notices the missing part of his glasses, starts cracking up a little* VS: … EL: *stifles laughter* Okay, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, please continue. VS: *continues* EL: *notices again* *laughs even harder for an extended period of time* Vs: *gives stern reaction* SU Financial Report Interview (pre-interview) VS: (talking about something random) I admit it’s so much more powerful...it’s so nice now— WW: *Rapid clapping* VS: (interrupted) It’s gonna
be so amazing. WW: *Rapid clapping* EL: How is the alloc— (amongst chatter) WW: (exasperated) Just get through the QUESTION. MA: (distracted) I also might have to leave in half an hour. EL: (continuing question) How is the allocation breakdown decided, and who decides? WW: Whaddya mean by who decides? VS: Whaddya mean by allocations? *talking about confusing data in the budget report after clarifying the question* MA: (having a revelation) Oh, so you ADDed. (referring to some number on the spreadsheet) VS: (annoyed) Can you, get like, just like breatheeee. Breathing, mhm? That was the amount we transferred. No no no, wait, wait. WW: (to someone) Do you want me to give you my laptop? VS: So, okay. Our expense was $11,000 (murmuring to himself) …what theeeee whaaa... (trailing off)
SU Check In interview MA: I’m gonna start with this (referring to question 10 on our list of questions to ask). Actually, can we start with this? (referring to question five) EL: Yeah. MA: [Question] five? EL: No, start with 10. MA: 10, *groans* I feel like is just gonna go on for a while. EL: Yeah, let’s just get it over with. VS: Oh say does that star spangled bannerrrrrr yeah yeahhhhhhhh (singing quite poorly, sorry Vishwaa) (William joins in) EL: Okay so— WW: (focused on SING! concessions) Let’s just get this: it’s dumb cheap for $40.
Which Stuyvesant Escalator Are You? Your friend has been getting on your nerves for the past week. Do you: A) Stew in anger silently but never directly confront her. B) Blatantly ignore them until she realizes her mistake. C) Take a deep breath and let it go. D) Push her down an escalator in a fit of rage.
clothes—it’s her fault for leaving her locker open.
You would describe yourself as:
When you’re feeling down, what is most likely to be the cause?
A) An easygoing person. B) An extroverted, charming person. C) Just your average Stuyvesant student. D) A rebel without a cause. Quick! You just remembered that you forgot your gym clothes. Do you: (A) Desperately ask around the locker room for a spare outfit. B) Convince your best friend to let you borrow her clothes— she’s never been unprepared before anyway. C) Lie low and hope the teacher won’t notice. D) Steal someone else’s
Your motto is: A)“Though she be but little, she is fierce.” B) “No fear, no pity.” C) “Slow and steady wins the race.” D) “Shoot first, think later.”
A) That your friends seem to take you for granted. B) The fact that your best friend is out sick. C) Your daily trek up to the 10th floor. D) The fact that your goodfor-nothing group mates haven’t done a cent of work on your upcoming project. What is your greatest fault? A) Your obstinacy. B) Your lack of consideration for others. C) Your tendency to let people walk all over you. D) Your uncontrollable temper.
What do you wish more people understood about you? A) That you should not be underestimated. B) That there is more to you than what lies on the surface. C) That you need to feel appreciated, too. D) That you’re not as untrustworthy as people think. RESULTS If you checked mostly As, you are the two-to-three escalators. You are one of the more unique members of the Stuyvesant community. You are proud to march to your own beat, even if it means that Stuyvesant students will be marching up to their first-period class on your still steps. Though some might have said that a single-floor escalator isn’t of much use anyway, they must now eat their words in the face of your current status as the second floor’s only escalators. Those who checked mostly Bs are most similar to the seven-to-nine escalators. Thanks to your good looks
VS: Let’s get multiple in… (talks about concessions for five minutes instead of doing the interview) WW: Oh yeah, did you read— did you hear my interview? (interview with another News writer) MA: No, I haven’t yet. EL: When’d she interview? VS: (confused) Who—what is this? MA: (explaining in background) VS: Oooh, I don’t like that. EL: Why? MA: Can you text me sexual harassment thingy? Can you just text me those words? (for the sexual harassment course article) WW: (hesitant) You want us to just text you sexual harassment? VS: I feel so— EL: That might be a little uncomfortable… MA: Can you text me, like, the article thing? (correcting her earlier comment, asking for the text) WW: Does it unlock like the dark mode too? MA: Wait, what? EL: Wait. (Absurd laughter for no reason) *someone sends the cryptic text* MA: Okay, thank you. I will put this in for Issue 13, can it be Issue 13? [the paper you are holding is Issue 14] WW: (excited) Oh my god, we can get discounts if we use our work e-mails. VS: Really? WW: I think so. (whispering to himself) Password: ilovewilliam. (Don’t use this kids; we tried already, it doesn’t work anymore.)
and charm, you easily win over new friends with your confidence and grace. However, underneath that dazzling exterior is a tough core, one that shows no mercy to desperate sophomores dashing up to their daily chemistry quiz. If you checked mostly Cs, you are the four-to-six escalators. A reliable and true-blue friend, you always offer a shoulder to cry on for distraught students heading to or from their math tests. Though it’s really no contest, you are the most trustworthy of all of the escalators. Most people appreciate your goodness, but you don’t put up with those who take you for granted, as they find out when you suddenly break down as they approach. Finally, the three-to-five escalators would check mostly Ds. Like your twin one floor below, you tend toward friendly highs that without warning become sullen lows. You work best in short bursts of energy. Make sure to keep your volatile temper in check so that your better intentions don’t come to a screeching halt.
Page 4
The Spectator ● April 18, 2019
“Journalism” TagUrself: Teacher’s Edition By THE EDITORIAL BOARD • • • •
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Hanna Clementines and coffee “Uh, you are accountable for that for tomorrow” Carries around a wet towel “Take out a sheet of paper, you have a pop quiz” Coco Relates everything to his daughter or wife Will throw chalk at you mercilessly Has the best t-shirt collection Hair goals JAPANESE CHALK Garfinkel STANDARDIZED MARGINS Drinks water out of a jar Still uses a flip-phone “Please don’t include me in this TagUrself” “M’okie-dokie” Calls his students his “gang”
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Simon “AFUERAA, you fool” “Do I need more gel?” “Whose fault is it? It’s my fault, right guys?”
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Maggio Wears at least two neon colors in every outfit Genuinely cares about the environment “A fungi and an algae took a lichen to each other.” “My boyfriend … ”
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Papagayo Secretly much older Bad-ass belts Understands meme culture *grooms mustache* Shamazov “spin the air” Has a personalized Starbucks cup Help me find my keys. Could break interdimensional barriers with arm movements Somehow fantastic at social media Strasser The UNITS Lowkey wants to be a magician Wears tight clothes Pronounces “series” as “sirius” Does every summer program recommendation, no questions asked Adamant that the right hand rule requires the use of your RIGHT hand Thomas Knows how to microwave McMuffins without exploding them Was in a rock band in high school “I’ll be signing autographs after class” plays guitar in front of the mountains to calculate the frequencies and vibrations “you’ll find that you accelerate faster when you fall off a cliff than on a straight road” Believes that the universe is one large computer program being coded and executed
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Lam “You are all wonderful people.” Asked Santa several times for wonderful people He’s been waiting 31 years for wonderful people Constantly complains about being scammed by his dentist Amateur conspiracy theorist “The problem with the government is…” There is a parallel universe time loop caused by the speed of energy “Somebody want to draw the picture? No? That’s sad.” *tapping your test paper with his pencil for ten seconds* “Where’s your number?” Can solve 1+1 in five different ways Always wants the CREDIT Jumash “Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away…” Secretly from the moon “Okie Dokie Artichokie” Steals everyone’s erasers Brags about being strong while playing with a metal pipe “That is absolutely incorrect.” Will randomly start throwing a ball at the wall Can supposedly squeeze a 100-pound hand grip Holmes eVinCe “dye ur hair like a nice orange. take this seriously.” Monks. “I don’t mind if you don’t prioritize this class” “Nothing is inevitable except death” “Okay this is now a grammar class” “Programming is the same as cocaine.” Huhn Names her plants and waters them from her green water bottle Plays subdued elevator music Care-amel, she says in her Wisconsin accent Once signed up for a marathon the day of in class Rubinstein Starts planning Halloween costumes 3 months in advance Wrote a children’s book Very wholesome Silverio Favorite word is “matar” Is secretly sixteen “This is why murder is ramping in this country” “Chillll dreeens” First one out the door the second the end bell rings for dismissal Contreras Tea and pho connoisseur sOcIaL sTuDiEs Loves to gossip “I have the brightest kids in the city”
Why is The Disrespectator Late?
By CHRISABELLA JAVIER
So, you’re reading this article. The newspaper doesn’t look quite right. It’s written in Comic Sans and is called a “Disrespectator.” You check the date of the newspaper, but you realize that it is not, in fact, April 1. What gives? Have you entered some sort of alternate universe where The Spectator actually reports real news? No, actually. The reason you’re not reading this on April 1 is because my editors can’t get their [expletive] together. Close your eyes, and imagine a meeting in room 639. It is the 10th period Spectator editor class. Absolutely nothing is going on. In the horseshoe of desks, a couple of editors are sorta messing around, not actually doing work yet. On the blackboard, one of the EICs has written “DISRESPECTATOR.” That day, they were supposed to send in first drafts for Disrespectator. “So,” one of them says, “how are the drafts coming along?” We zoom in on the Humor editors who take the class: Abdulla Elkhadrawy, Victor Kuang, and Oliver Stewart. They are in the back of the room, half asleep and unaware of the question. Their fellow editors are playing a game of “how many books can we put on their heads until the books fall/ they wake up.” It takes a copy of “Hamlet” and a piece of thrown chalk to knock down the tower of books and wake them up. Kuang shrieked, “What are we talking about?” A consecutive yell of “THE DISRESPECTATOR” came out of the mouths of everybody else. “It’s literally the main point of today’s meeting. Why did you
think it was written on the board?” Opinions editor Jonathan Schneiderman turned toward them as he was spreading Nutella on a piece of bread. “It’s not my fault that I have no self awareness of any of my surroundings! I literally thought I was still in chem!” Stewart then tried to nod back to sleep but was (re) awakened by Features editor Talia Kahan taking out an otamatone and blasting its sweet sounds in his ear. “The Disrespectator articles.” Editor-in-Chief Artem Ilyanok sat down onto the spinning chair in the middle of the room. “Are they done?” Stewart raised his hand. “Technically, yes.” “What does technically mean?” “Using terminology or treating subject matter in a manner peculiar to a particular field, as a writ—” “Are they ready?” Elkhadrawy spoke up, “No. It’s a long story, but the short answer is nope. Do you want to know the whole story?” Yells of “yes” and “of course” came up across the classroom. “You know, you are going to have to tell us.” Ilyanok rolled toward the three Humor editors. “We have a whole period. We have time.” “[Expletive] it, okay. I’ll tell you what happened.” Kuang leaned back in his desk. “So, we did have many, many articles. Great articles. Beautiful articles. If you had seen all those articl—” “Get on with it.” Kuang continued, “Okay, so we did have articles, and we kept them on this very protected database server thing, because we’re
the best department. I mean, it’s actually a MacBook, but it was an expensive one, and we are the best department. The articles were password-protected and everything.” “Let me guess,” Ilyanok said, still spinning in his chair. “You forgot the password.” Stewart spoke up. “We did not forget the password. We’re not that dumb. No, we… blew up the laptop. Like, literally blew it up. It’s on fire somewhere in the Hudson right now. And before you ask, yes, we tried turning it off and back on again, but all that did was burn our hands.” He then raised a bandaged hand. “Apparently, changing it to UWU language just blows it up.” Stewart took a deep breath. “That’s the end of the story; please don’t kill us, please.” “So you don’t have any articles.” In Ilyanok’s eyes resided a pit of fury that took 10 percent of his power to repress and not instantly disintegrate the Humor editors in front of him. A simultaneous “nope” came from the three editors. “Great. Now we have to push it back, and it is your fault. What kind of punishment must we give you?” The board of editors immediately had a vote on what to do with the editors. However, the end bell rang and they still could not think of anything. Their homework was to write up a punishment for each Humor editor to endure throughout the month of April. But the board could agree that Humor deserved to have a Disrespectator article written about them. This is the article. Seriously, guys. Get your [expletive] together.
That’s What I’m Tacko-ing About By AHMED HUSSEIN As VCU’s Isaac Vann hurtled down the court past the UCF squad, he had one thing on his mind: getting the basketball into the basket. After a pass to teammate Marcus Santos-Silva (6’7”), who was in the paint, it seemed Vann would get an easy bucket. Cue Tacko Fall. The 7’6” center slapped the ball out of SantosSilva’s hands and into the stands without having to jump. To add salt to the wounds, he continued the assault by screaming, “Get that [expletive] outta here,” leaving Santos-Silva in tears. Just hours later, Santos-Silva announced his retirement and
moved to the Rocky Mountains in hopes of elevating himself to Tacko’s level one day (literally). The moral of this story isn’t that basketball ends people’s lives. That’s happened before. What’s crazy is that Tacko is 7’6”. That’s a grand total of four inches (way higher than my math average) taller than anyone ever needs to be. Just think of all the shelves you could reach. I’m 6’1” (sorry to flex on y’all) and I think that’s pretty good, but I [expletive] myself when I see Tacko. For tall people, it’s daunting to meet someone taller than you. I get intimidated by people who are taller than me because it’s unprecedented. If I turn
PROS
CONS
If he becomes an engineer, he will have a more stable job, as the NBA might not pan out if he gets injured. He can build doors that he can fit through without ducking.
So, the decision is simple. Tacko, if you’re reading this, do yourself a favor and go to the NBA. It would decrease my rate of crying myself to sleep be-
the corner and see Tacko walking down the street, I would turn right back around, go home, and cry myself to sleep. It’s different for short people because then they’d have to be scared of everyone they run into. So, basically, Tacko scares me and he should scare you too. Poor Santos-Silva sure is scared. Tacko has been dunking and blocking kids (people under 6’5”) for four years in the NCAA now, so he has a big decision to make. Does he graduate and go into the workforce as an engineer or go to the NBA and join the court force? To help him make his decision, I will weigh the pros and cons of becoming an engineer:
He would not enjoy it. He would have to work very hard. He would not get paid as much. He would miss dunking on fools and dominating the paint.
cause he would probably be surrounded by paparazzi whenever he walks out of his house. It’ll be tough for him, though, since the paparazzi can’t miss him. I
can overcome my fear of heights and help you out as well by building taller doors for you, so don’t worry about that.
playlist By THE A&E DEPARTMENT (BUT LET’S BE REAL, JACQUELINE DOES ALL OF THESE)
Never Gonna Give You Up Rick Astley Dance Pop
The Spectator ● April 18, 2019
Page 5
“Journalism” New York Post Accidentally Hires Real Journalist
By JACQUELINE THOM and BRIAN ZHANG
NEW YORK—Expressing surprise and embarrassment, New York Post Editor-in-Chief Sean Giancola called a press conference early this morning to announce that the newspaper had unintentionally hired a real journalist, Joseph Addison. “I was going through the day’s work,” Giancola said. “The horoscopes for this first half of the month looked really good...that is, until I read Addison’s article about the importance of journalistic integrity in our nation.” At
this point, the EIC seemed to have trouble breathing and stood there gasping and gripping the podium for several moments. “Sir, do you need some iced water?” an assistant asked, snapping Giancola out of his silence. “I’m fine. I was just blown away by the facts and total lack of yellow journalism presented in Addison’s work.” According to Giancola, drafts are rarely more than biased rants, and the sudden journalistic quality of Addison’s writing threw the New York Post headquarters into a state of civil unrest.
Though Giancola refused to disclose more information about the situation, a NYC watchdog released e-mail files showing that the New York Post hiring department had e-mailed Addison instead of social media influencer Addison Cooper for the newly opened position of City Hall beat reporter. The same watchdog also leaked security camera footage showing Giancola waking up from bed in a cold sweat at 2:00 a.m., knocking over a glass of LaCroix on his nightstand, and ruining his favorite T-Rex pajamas while yelling: “NO WAY—THAT’S FAKE NEWS!!!”
Spoiled Rich Kid’s Mom Won’t Buy Harvard Degree By CHRISABELLA JAVIER This letter was anonymously sent to The Spectator’s offices. It has been edited for publication. To whom it may concern at The Stuyvesant Spectator — I have written this letter in order to share my opinions on America’s flawed college admissions system:
I HATE MY MOM! WHAT IS WRONG WITH HER! I DO EVERYTHING SHE ASKS ME! I EAT MY [foggy] VEGGIES AND I CLEAN MY [sharky] ROOM AND THIS IS WHAT I GET! ALL I WANTED! WAS! A! [gosh dangit] HARVARD! DEGREE! ALL MY FRIENDS’ PIECE OF [probably very nice things] PARENTS BOUGHT THEM! WHY DID SHE NOT! AGGGGGHHHH! SHE IS SUCH A [dogs are very cute, you know]! RONALD’S MOM BOUGHT HIM A STANFORD DEGREE! HE’S A TOTAL [homophobia is bad, kids]; HE DOESNT DESERVE IT, I DO BUT MY MOM HAS TO BE A TOTAL [oh gosh, that is not a nice thing to say about your mother]! THIS IS THE LAST STRAW!!! FIRST IT WAS THAT I GOT EXPELLED FROM BOARDING SCHOOL AND COULD NO LONGER GO TO DUBAI FOR VACATION! [It’s the f word, okay] THAT! I HAD TO SPEND THAT BORING SUMMER IN OUR SUMMER HOUSE IN THE CARIBBEAN! WHYYYYYY???? [Oof]! HOW COME I CAN’T GET A HARVARD DEGREE WHEN ALL THESE [oh god, these are some messed up things] GET IN; I AM MORE QUALIFIED; SURE I’VE NEVER JOINED A CLUB OR GOTTEN ABOVE A C IN ANY CLASS BUT HAVE THEY EVER BEEN DRAGGED TO A PARTY WITH THE ADMISSIONS OFFICERS OF IVY LEAGUES? NO! I HATE THESE [I’m not sure what this word means but I will assume it is bad]! I HATE YOU MOM! I THOUGHT YOU WOULD COME THROUGH BUT YOU [oh thank god it’s just the f word] DIDN’T! I HATE YOU! NOW I GUESS I’M STUCK IN CORNELL. I HATE YOU. Thank you for your time. I hope you have read this, and you have an understanding of how I feel about the admissions process. Sincerely, A disgruntled student
When Stuyvesant students were asked about Giancola’s ordeal, a junior quipped, “I’ve had dreams of someone giving that man a wake-up slap for a long time, and I’m glad it’s finally happened.” A nearby JV football player added, “AMEN to that!” Staff members of The Spectator are equally as riled up. The following question was brought up in their 10th period journalism class by faculty advisor Kerry Garfinkel: “Do you folks think this is an issue worthy of being covered in a staff editorial?” Many editors nodded their heads, with a few raising fears
about the competition that the New York Post suddenly posed to The Spectator. “I agree,” CoEditor-in-Chief Artem Ilyanok said. Even Garfinkel snapped his fingers at the point, something he typically never does. In his closing remarks about the whole shabang, Giancola noted, “I...uh...don’t even know what to say. I came into this business to manipulate stories, selectively quote sources, and sell tabloids— not to do hard-hitting, thoughtful, accurate journalism. I’m not even sure where we go from here, to be honest.”
The Cloutiest Department On The Block By VICTOR KUANG Sophomore Oliver “Olly” Stewart returned home from Staples in distress on Wednesday, March 20. Not only had he been scammed into buying a $12 piece of cardboard, but he also had to make a poster for The Spectator recruitments the next day. After several hours of neglecting his editing duties and taking his anger out on fellow writers, me and myself, Oliver had a sudden revelation: get The Spectator more clout. “It was just obvious, you know,” Stewart said. “I’m the only competent editor of Spec Humor. Our department really has nothing to offer people, so I had to do something no one else, not even Kerwin or Gaby, would do: suggest that we have a SoundCloud.” When Stewart came into Advanced Journalism (colloquially known as Spec Class) the next day, he explained to me the poster that he created. It was a pretty subpar and disrespectful poster, as shown on the left side of the overpriced cardboard. But what redeemed all of that was the mention of a SoundCloud on the board. Ambitious and power-hungry fantasies quickly flooded my brain. Within minutes, I found myself making the Spec Humor SoundCloud account. It was at that moment that I knew it was destined for great things. An hour after it was made, it was our turn to present our department to the freshmen trying to flex on colleges. Though we had a very elaborate skit for
Print is dead.
everyone, no one applauded, and several boos were audible. Using some quick thinking, junior Abdulla Elkhadrawy told everyone about the SoundCloud and advertised that everyone had the opportunity to create music in our department. Within seconds, there was a triumphant uproar from the audience, followed by deafening applause. “I thought the skit was really cringy,” junior Yu Hin Yu said. “But after they explained how I could use my Chinese karaoke skills in their department, it made me reconsider my initial plans of joining A&E. I think it’s obvious which is the funniest department now.” “To be frank, I just need something for college, so please stop this interview,” junior Leon Tan said, shortly before roasting my ramen noodle hair in math class. With the SoundCloud gaining further popularity, we then decided to do what no one has ever done before: produce an album. However, it proved to be much harder than anticipated, and it appears that the album will be released later than originally planned. --Okay, if you’re just an impatient bum who does not care about inspirational stories of success (shame on you!), just check out our SoundCloud at humor and buy our album when we release it. Thank you!
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The Spectator ● April 18, 2019
“Journalism” humorbeat Seniors block each other as self-congratulatory posts about getting into Ivies increase. Theresa May announces plan to leave the European Union by the time all of Europe is underwater. Rodda John uses Talos and starts a monopoly on education, replaces Betsy DeVos and Google. Spec Humor fails to release an album on time for this issue. We are too fatigued to fabricate news. Some genius proves that Hawking’s theory of dark matter is still correct by proving how Stuy is a primordial black hole. Arts and Entertainment has always been funnier than Humor. We just reported false news with the sentence right above this one so oops. This sentence is in bold because it’s important news. I missed my Spanish lesson and now the Duolingo bird is after me. The Spectator is now an anarcho-communist publication; all editors have been abolished.
NRA Fears Challenge From AntiVaxxers for 2019 ChildrenKilling Award By JONATHAN SCHNEIDERMAN
violence, and responsible, regulated gun ownership ought to be allowed. Obviously, the The leaders of the NRA NRA goes way beyond that, are fretting that their posibut they’ve got some basis. tion as reigning champion at But dude. Look at what we’ve the annual Children-Killing done. Is there any remotely Awards may be threatened scientific basis for anything this year; they have held sevwe say? No. Are we more eral meetings this past week detached from reality than to ramp up their For Your Conpeople who think the DOE will sideration campaign for the follow through on replacing first time since 2012, sources the escalators? Yes. We’ve familiar with the matter said. got nothing. And yet we’ve “We had a really strong still managed to make a real showing last year,” said an dent and create a real pubNRA board member who lic health crisis. If that’s not spoke on the condition of anoLyndon-worthy, I don’t know nymity. “The whole March what is.” For Our Lives thing reAnother NRA board “We’ve ally amplified what a member, firearm destructive force manufacturer John got nothing. And for evil we are in Wasp, worried that American society. the NRA’s status yet we’ve still managed to We were basias presumptive cally guaranteed Lyndon-winner make a real dent and create the award. But might hurt it. this year, there “No one likes a a real public health crisis. If haven’t been any frontrunner,” real gun stories— Mr. Wasp said, that’s not Lyndon-worthy, I just in New Zea“and I’m worried land, and that’s not that some folks don’t know what American, so it’s not at the Academy [of really our thing.” Child-Murder Arts is.” The award, popularly and Sciences] might let nicknamed the “Lyndon,” our status distract from has been given out since 1969 the really great work we do. to the “entity or group that Who cares about measles? most excels at creating or man. I mean, people have done Guns are cool!” feeding the forces that re- a great job at killing other “And,” he added, leaning in, sult in children dying”; it was people throughout history, “a big reason the anti-vaxxers first presented to Lyndon B. but diseases are really, really are a threat this year is how Johnson for his “standout good at killing other people. much measles have affected work in My Lai.” Since 2012, The anti-vaxxers are har- the Jews, and you know how when the nation was swept by nessing that? I honestly don’t they control things.” several mass shootings, the see how they won’t get the Mr. Wasp hastily added NRA’s reception of the award Lyndon by 2021.” that he is not anti-Semitic: has almost been, in the words One eager anti-vaxxer “In fact, I am a great friend of one anti-vaxxer The Spec- The Spectator spoke to, of the state of Israel, and tator spoke to, “coronation- Karol Childs, made the case the Judeo-Christian tradition like.” for an anti-vax victory at is really important to me.” But this year, anti-vaxxers the Lyndons: “Look, there’s At press time, oil execumight take the Lyndon. For a legitimate case to be made tives were seen watching the years, they have campaigned for some gun rights. It’s not clock for climate-induced tirelessly for the widespread necessarily healthy to have droughts to start hitting in deaths of children. Many Lyn- a state monopoly on firearm full force.
Crossword: The Crossword Edition
don-watchers feel that while the NRA does excellent, depravedly evil work, the antivax effort to bring humanity back to a time when average life expectancy was less than 40 years is the kind of breathtaking villainy the Lyndon is supposed to honor. “Look, I’ve got massive respect for the NRA,” Academy member Alan Martin said. “That whole ‘guns don’t kill people’ thing? Brilliant. But the anti-vaxxers are trying to turn the tide of history,
Welcome to our favorite kind of crossword: the Crossword crossword, a favorite of Arthur Wynne (crossword creator and connoisseur) himself! As always, if you can solve our decennial crossword, please e-mail sports@stuyspec.org.
Across: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 7. 7. 8 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 19. Π. 20 . 22. 23. 2324. 25 26. 27. 28. 29 . 04
Down: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 0. 11. 12. 13. 8.99x10^-13. 14. 15. 16. 19. 20. 20. Π. 22. 23. 24. 2526. 27. 28. 29 92. f.
The Spectator The Stuyvesant High School Newspaper
FEATURES
ARTS AND ENTERTAINMENT
Draw My Life
From Filthy Frank to Joji
Features editor Talia Kahan and writer Rachel Ok detail the story of chemistry teacher Dr. Steven O’Malley in “Who Likes Organic Chemistry? I Do!”
Arts & Entertainment writer Theo Kubovy-Weiss follows the transformation of YouTube artist George Miller as he adapts successfully in the music industry.
see page 10
Volume 109 No. 14
NEWSBEAT Campaigning for the upcoming Student Union election kicked off with a debate between the candidates.
AP course selection opened up to students later than planned on the delay-ridden platform Talos.
Japanese teacher Chie Helinski and her students took first place at the Japan Bowl in Baltimore, Maryland.
Physics teacher Rebecca Gorla resigned due to what she saw as poor treatment of teachers by the administration.
Stuyvesant’s Muslim Students Association placed second overall at the regional MIST competition.
see page
“The Pulse of the Student Body”
14
April 18, 2019
stuyspec.com
Stuyvesant Holds Fourth Annual International Women’s Day Run By NEIL SARKAR Stuyvesant students ran along the Hudson River in the fourth annual International Women’s Day Run on March 18, March 22, and March 27. The original dates of the run included March 21, but the date was rained out and postponed to March 27. The goal of the run was to raise awareness about women’s issues. “By having this event, we bring awareness [regarding] this disparity between women and men that a lot of people don’t recognize,” said senior Jeanette Cheung, who organized the event. “There’s still a glass ceiling even in subjects like CS or physics, and a lot of people just aren’t aware.” Both Cheung and her fellow co-organizer, senior Kayla Lew, worked hard to get sponsors for the event. “We started off by contacting sponsors because we are known to give out a lot of free snacks, drinks, and stickers,” Lew said. Sponsors this year included Bare Apple Chips, Skinny Dipped Almonds, Kuymi Quinoa Bars, and Thun-
derbird Bars for food, as well as StickerGiant for stickers. In addition, the organizers held a raffle for a Chipotle gift card, a Sticker Mule store credit, and Praxis Tutors vouchers. T-shirts also sold for $1. The money raised from the raffle and T-shirt sales is going to Every Mother Counts, an organization that strives to prevent
Form on the event’s Facebook page. In all, over $800 was raised for Every Mother Counts. Seven hundred twenty-eight students and faculty members signed up for the event. “I actually ran in the event last year, and this year, I wanted to contribute to make the event run smoothly,” sophomore volunteer Serena Chan said.
“By having this event, we bring awareness [regarding] this disparity between women and men that a lot of people don’t recognize.” —Jeanette Cheung, senior
maternal deaths especially in developing nations. The charity was picked by the Stuyvesant community through a Google
Cheung and Lew made a concerted effort to convince teachers to give extra credit for participating in the event, and
13 teachers from a wide variety of departments, including social studies, health, foreign language, and physical education agreed to do so. Sophomore Leo Yuan said, for example, that he was running to both receive extra credit toward his math class and support the cause. History teacher Lisa Greenwald asked students to create an authentic sign that made a feminist argument, supported a women’s cause, or celebrated a great woman in history in order to receive extra credit. “People wrote empowering messages, and one person made a big sign and had Saran Wrap with an unbroken ceiling to empower women to break the ceiling,” Cheung said. Students also had the opportunity to write about who they are empowered by through putting Post-its on a first floor wall. They were also able to take pictures inside frames that said “empowHERed.” “I found the run to be inspiring, and I loved the atmosphere, which made the event really successful,” sophomore Margaret Woo said.
Sophomore Caucus Features Madeline Schwartzman as Guest Speaker ByKATIE NG, STEPHY CHEN, and IAN LAU The Sophomore Caucus hosted a lecture in the sixthfloor library on April 3 featuring Madeline Schwartzman, a New York City-based writer, artist, curator, filmmaker, architect, and professor. She is most notable for her multidisciplinary practices that explore human narratives and senses through her art, writing, and experimental videos. Schwartzman began her lecture by distributing copies of her book, titled “See Yourself Sensing,” featuring a collection of unconventional body installations that highlight the human sensorium. Sophomore Raymond Wu was present at the lecture and had an opportunity to preview her book. “I read the introduction. [In it], she had this graphic image of a guy licking a girl’s eyeball, and that was the first thing I [noticed] because it was so unexpected,” he said. Afterwards, Schwartzman introduced her most recent project, “Face Nature,” a series of face installations and
prosthetics created with natural elements such as leaves. She described her artwork as experiments that allowed her to explore “the body and [her] understanding of it,” she said. “I delighted in the Japanese maple leaves on my hand, because they highlighted [the] movement of the hand in a way that is different [from] my usual awareness of hand motion,” Schwartzman said in an e-mail interview. “When I ‘wear’ these Face Nature body installations, I find the body weird and wondrous. Movement of the hand is very nuanced and incremental.” Schwartzman further explored the theme of human morphology through her artwork, in which she creates prosthetics for her body. “The things I create can be eerie and uncanny, but the science behind it can be fascinating. By gluing pine cones to my knuckles, I am not only creating a prosthetic that adds to my human morphology project, but it also explores the science of how armor is present on certain animals,” Schwartzman said during the lecture. This section of her presen-
tation was a favorite among attendants. “My favorite part of the lecture was when she showed her experiments. She definitely changed my perception of art and allowed me to see that art can also include the intersection of science and humans. There was a project where she put leaves on her hands and attached them. When she flexed her hand, the leaves would move along with it, so it [looked] like she had scales,” Wu said. Schwartzman also showcased her project titled “365 Day Subway: Poems by New Yorkers.” On her daily train ride to work, Schwartzman asked strangers in the subway to write a poem and would upload her favorites to her website. As a teacher and a parent, Schwartzman believes that the main takeaway from her presentation should be that people must take the initiative and express themselves through physical means. “I’ve been thinking a great deal about the times we are in—about how we protest by posting something on social media or walking out of school,” Schwartzman said. “We can talk and
talk about making art—about politics and about ambition— but the most important thing is to actually do something. In art making, it’s important to allow yourself the liberty and fun of creating some kind of process or regular engagement. We need to get away from our screens and open up avenues for physical making.” The Sophomore Caucus started planning this event as a part of its ongoing lecture series for the 2018-2019 school year. They had previously conducted polls in the “Dear Incoming…” Facebook groups to survey the interests of the student body in order to better address what subjects would be the most valuable for students. “Many people in the polls said they would be interested in hearing about art,” sophomore and Events Director Julie Weiner said. “We thought [that having an artist come to lecture] would definitely create a lot of interest and be a useful perspective at a STEM school.” “This lecture was also important in expanding people’s views. Students at Stuyvesant have learned art appreciation, AP art history, and also
studied the Renaissance, but Schwartzman’s art is new, different, abstract, and interesting,” Sophomore Caucus President Katerina Corr said. However, there have been challenges in coordinating these events due to time restraints and a lack of utilizable space. “A major challenge in coordinating lectures is determining where they are going to be held and at what time. The lecture halls, where most of our past lectures have been hosted, are occupied. Hosting lectures at the library or in a classroom isn’t ideal because we can’t contain as many students, but we will see how it works out and where to improve from here,” Corr said. Otherwise, the lecture series of the Sophomore Caucus has been successful thus far, and the caucus plans to continue hosting similar events for the student body. The caucus continued to pursue more creative fields with their next lecture, which was held on April 12. It’s called “The Art and Science of Music Therapy: An Introduction,” and it was presented by Tom Biglin, a music therapist.
Page 8
The Spectator ● April 18, 2019
News Robotics Ready for World Championships By NINA SHIN, and THEO SCHIMINOVICH Courtesy of Wikimedia Commons and NASA
WORLDBEAT Wikileaks founder Julian Assange was arrested in London after being evicted from the Ecuadorian Embassy.
Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu of the Likud Party was reelected by a slight margin over Benny Gantz.
Scientists led by Katie Bouman took the first ever picture of a black hole.
Governor Andrew Cuomo declared a state of emergency in New York State as a measles outbreak in Brooklyn worsened.
President Donald Trump announced a potential plan to move illegal immigrants to sanctuary cities across the U.S.
Sudan’s military staged a coup d’état against authoritarian leader Omar Al-Bashir following months of protests against the Bashir regime.
#FreeLayout
Stuyvesant’s three robotics teams have been working hard this year. Through their efforts, Stuyvesant’s awardwinning teams have performed exceptionally well, ranking high at numerous competitions. Two of the teams—694 and 310—are going to the world championships in Detroit. Stuyvesant has three robotics teams that all compete in competitions run by the For Inspiration and Recognition of Science and Technology (FIRST) organization. FIRST’s goal is to get students interested in science and technology, and one way it fulfills that is by creating competitions for students to compete in. Stuyvesant has one FIRST Robotics Competition (FRC) team, team 694, as well as two FIRST Tech Challenge (FTC) teams, team 310 and team 479. The FRC team is larger and has a six-week robotbuilding season, while the FTC teams are smaller and develop several robots in a season. Teams 310 and 479 competed at Townsend Harris High School in the New York City Regional competition. Team 479 placed 10th out of 24 teams and won the Inspire Award at the NYC Regional. Though it did not make it to the world championship this year, it is looking forward to competing for more in the future. “If we ever get lucky enough, we might win the world [championship] but we are really looking forward to [making] history for Stuy FTC,” freshman Steven Wen said in an e-mail interview. However, team 310 won first place for the Connect Award and third place for the Inspire Award out of 24 teams, qualifying it for world championship for the first time ever. “For 310, it’s like a big thing for us to go to worlds this year, because it’s our first time actually going to worlds, and I feel like our team is trying hard to represent Stuyvesant in the whole world championships, so we hope we win,” senior Joe Suzuki said. Over the past season, team 310 faced many obstacles. Many of the seniors who led the team left this year, leaving behind a less experienced crew. In addition, all of the members of team 479 graduated last year, so, to reform team 479, team 310 had to be split apart. Despite this, the members of the team were able to work together to form a cooperative and closeknit crew. “We faced many challenges because when we split, we didn’t have any members [who] could do electronics, etc., so it was a real learning experience,” sophomore and Vice President Megan GuptaShe said in an e-mail interview. “I am really proud of my team this year because everyone stepped up and we were able to form a really coherent team.” Outreach, such as mentoring, also helped team 310 qualify for the world championship.
“A part of our competition is outreach and documentation, and that is definitely something we stepped up this year. Personally, I organized all the outreach events this season, which [led] us to win the Connect Award at the NYC Regional and qualifying competitions,” Gupta-She said. “We’ve organized and attended many STEM lectures, held demonstrations at other schools, [mentored] FLL teams, and attended CyberStuy, FTCSplash, and StuySplash,” freshman Emily Tan said in an e-mail interview. They also continuously made improvements to their robots throughout the preceding months. At each competition, members looked over issues in performance and improved them. “After every single competition we’ve changed our robot design because we see what didn’t work during our competition, we see what other teams succeeded in doing, and we discuss which mechanisms we want to change/ replace in the meeting after [the competition],” Tan said. Team 310 hopes to improve by meeting other teams at the world championship. “Worlds will be an amazing opportunity for everyone to learn more from other successful teams. I am really excited to meet other teams and learn more about how they structure their team and build season,” Gupta-She said. Meanwhile, team 694 qualified for the world championship in two separate events. From
can pick up and throw disks and balls. “It has a lift that goes about 10 feet in the air. It starts at four feet, goes about 10 feet in the air, and it can bring a ball or a plastic disk, like a foot in diameter, up in the air, and scores in various places,” robotics mentor Joseph Blay said. One of Alfred’s special features is a suction cup that allows it to climb onto a podium while another robot is there. “There is really only space for one other robot, so they came up with a suction cup that allows them to go up that high, but not take up a lot of space, so two robots can fit,” Blay said. A common strength seen in all three teams when preparing for competitions was teamwork. “You have these 120-pound machines and they’re just blasting each other, and parts break, and [the crew members] just did a really good job working together when that happened, not panicking, not freaking out,” Blay said. Aside from working with each other, another highlight of the competitions was seeing what other teams had made. “A lot of these schools are not technical high schools and they’re all motivated there because they’re interested in engineering or their passion about learning,” senior John Lu said. “It’s like a community.” At the world championships, which will be held in Detroit in late April, teams 694 and 310 hope to “win, learn a lot, [and] make new friends,” Blay
“For 310 it’s like a big thing for us to go to world’s this year, because it’s our first time actually going to world’s and I feel like our team is trying hard to represent Stuyvesant in the whole world championships, so we hope we win.” —Joe Suzuki, senior
March 6 to March 9, it competed at the New York Tech Valley Regional competition, where it placed third out of 36 teams. The following week, it competed at the Central New York Regional competition, where it placed second out of 31 teams. In addition to these achievements, Team 694 also received separate awards. At the New York Tech Valley Regional competition, it won the Entrepreneurship Award, which is awarded to teams that display strong business skills to maintain a self-sustaining team. Their mentor, Shelley Grant, also won the Woodie Flowers Finalist Award that recognizes individuals who have motivated teams through communications. Team 694 competed with a robot named Alfred, which
said. Students are also excited to see some of the best robotics teams in the world in action, and to compete with them. “As [a] driver, I’m looking forward to drive with the best teams and compete with teams like Gluten Free and BrainSTEM,” senior Arazit Pal said. “It’s gonna be amazing to just see these people live [...] [and] in person, not just behind the screen.” Blay looked back on his experience when he went to world championships. “I was a student on the team, and the first time I went I had the best time ever; I got to make a bunch of friends from all over the world [...],” Blay said. “You just get to meet a lot of cool people and learn a lot of stuff.”
The Spectator ● April 18, 2019
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The Spectator ● April 18, 2019
Features Who Likes Organic Chemistry? I Do! By TALIA KAHAN and RACHEL OK
containing carbon-silicon bonds. Dr. O’Malley then applied those compounds to the synthesis of dolabelide. His main takeaway from his research was being content with the fact that everything will not always yield ideal, or even any, results. “In my experience, most of the organic chemistry stuff that I worked on and that people in my lab worked on, the majority of it doesn’t work the first time and, sometimes, never. So you really have to be disciplined and patient to find the small successes where they are, like anything in life I guess,” Dr. O’Malley advised. After graduate school, Dr. O’Malley was caught in a rough year of busy schedules. He briefly participated in postdoctoral research, then taught at John Jay College for a year while working at Stuyvesant once or twice a week as a substitute teacher. In addition to those commitments, he attended night school to get the master’s in education necessary to be a public-school teacher in New York. Regardless of that busy schedule, Dr. O’Malley remembers his students to this day. “I remember very fondly, coming into my morning organic chem class that year and just expressing, retelling stories of my education class from the night before and they loved hearing those stories,” he described. Once Dr. O’Malley entered Stuyvesant as a teacher, his love of teaching and working with students only grew. In his first year at Stuyvesant, he taught tenth grade chemistry and physics lab, the latter of which he did not know much about. “I kind of
Christine Yan / The Spectator
Organic Chemistry. Even the name sounds daunting. The course is known across the collegiate circuit as an extremely demanding and challenging class. Many college students have an intense disliking for the topic, but chemistry teacher Dr. Steven O’Malley fell in love with the class as a college student, so much so that he felt he had to keep it a secret because “most people just hate it,” he said. Before discovering his passion for organic chemistry, Dr. O’Malley lived an exciting life traveling across the United States and Europe for his father’s job. Dr. O’Malley was born in Massachusetts but frequently moved from one military base to another around the United States and Europe to accommodate for his father’s job as an electrical engineer in the United States Air Force. “It’s a lot like living in any other suburban community, when you live on a military base. The difference is that almost all the families are in the same economic bracket, so they all lived in the same kind of housing, and all your families worked for the military, and you all went to the same kinds of schools,” Dr. O’Malley described. Despite the challenges that came with constantly moving from town to town, Dr. O’Malley learned the value of living in the moment and the importance of social skills. Dr. O’Malley’s family settled down in Maryland during his high-school years. He attended the University of Maryland at
College Park, where he studied engineering because others in his family had pursued it in the past. During his college years, however, Dr. O’Malley found his real passion in chemistry. He recalled, “Toward the end of college, I realized I really just liked chemistry more than anything else.” Within chemistry, his favorite subject was organic chemistry, which he first only took as a requirement. Dr. O’Malley reminisced, “I totally fell in love with [organic chemistry] by surprise. I took it as a requirement in college because chemical engineers have to take that, and I expected to hate it because everyone I knew was a premed student and they all told me horror stories about organic chem.” Before coming across organic chemistry, Dr. O’Malley had never considered teaching as a potential profession. But, he recalled, “It was a really good friend of mine who was studying with me one evening for one of our orgo midterms, and she just said very plainly, ‘You know Steve, you really seem to like this. Maybe you should teach it someday.’ And that spiraled into me considering it seriously.” For Dr. O’Malley, teaching meant teaching on the college level, which required a doctorate. After graduating from college, Dr. O’Malley studied at Columbia University for a Ph. D in organic synthesis. His research, in simple terms, involved “developing a type of reaction using organosilicon compounds.” Organosilicon compounds are compounds containing a metal atom bonded to an organic group
just walked in and said, ‘Let’s see what happens!’” he remembered, laughing. After a few years, Dr. O’Malley received the opportunity of teaching an organic chemistry elective, Advanced Placement chemistry, and Advanced Chemistry Lab. Organic chemistry remains closest to his heart. While teaching at Stuyvesant, Dr. O’Malley is delighted to work with students who “genuinely want to learn for the sake of learning,” he said. He also noted that his inclination to be a high school teacher was affected by the greater amount of time that he can spend with students in high school in comparison to college. As a high school teacher, Dr. O’Malley has a responsibility
to help students mentally. “I think the challenges are that many of the students here are significantly overworked, so I try to challenge them but not burden them, and that is very difficult to try to be a good human being for them to be able to talk to if they’re ever anxious about anything,” he said. When he is not teaching, Dr. O’Malley loves to learn new languages and travel. Currently, he is studying Portuguese because he is planning to live in Portugal over the summer. So far, he has learned Portuguese, Japanese, Norwegian, and Gaelic. He can also be found running in the early morning while the city, he describes, is “still waking up.”
SSS: A Growing Mission By MAX MAH The current method of admission for specialized high schools, the Specialized High School Admissions Test (SHSAT), is being held under more scrutiny than ever before. Critics point to the lack of diversity in the student populations of specialized high schools, especially Stuyvesant. The source of this issue is tied to a much larger problem: the educational gap that exists citywide. The disparity in the quality of schooling, educational resources, and preparatory services have plagued certain demographics, resulting in these groups struggling to demonstrate merit on the SHSAT and state tests. The Stuyvesant Study Society (SSS) strives to tackle this issue from the ground up by sending some of Stuyvesant’s high achieving scholars to tutor students from disadvantaged communities. Stuyvesant students have been exposed to exceptional post-secondary opportunities, and members of the SSS have made it their mission to extend these opportunities to those who have not been as lucky. The SSS was established in 2016 to provide tutoring services to students taking the SAT and ACT. The following year, seniors and CoPresidents Ariel Melendez and Hao Hong Huang placed a greater emphasis on providing tutors for nonprofit organizations around New York City (NYC). This year, juniors and Co-Presidents Henry Liu and Owen Potter have continued
in this direction, effectively changing SSS’s charter while making various organizational changes and improvements. The SSS aims to provide free academic support to a diverse demographic of underserved students across NYC. Members can give back to the community and have a positive impact on the education of younger students from the elementary to high school levels. As a middle schooler, Liu benefitted from services provided by non-profit organizations like NYGEAR UP and City Year. These organizations were committed to helping academically and economically disadvantaged students to graduate from middle school and high school and later pursue post-secondary education. At Liu’s middle school, these organizations provided mentors that helped with homework, talked about their experiences, and even coached the basketball team. The support Liu received from these nonprofit organizations inspired him to reciprocate the help he received. “If it were not for the countless organizations [that] believe in giving back to the less privileged, I am not sure if I would be attending Stuyvesant High School today,” he admitted. “It is my duty to give back to the community that shaped me to be who I am. I believe being part of the [SSS] will help me fulfill the obligation of allowing motivated students to succeed.” During his sophomore year, Liu was the tutoring coordinator of the club; his main
responsibility was to pair students with nonprofit organizations. In addition, Liu helped the website chairs revamp the website and redirect the club charter by clarifying the mission to help disadvantaged students via partnership with nonprofit organizations. Liu was motivated to make these changes with the knowledge of how great of an impact the SSS could have on high school students across the city. “The mission of the club spoke to me, and coming from an underprivileged middle school, I realized how much of an impact the club could make on young students throughout the city,” he detailed. Many members of the SSS share this mindset and are eager to be active participants in the club and join the SSS board. “The idea of helping underprivileged children through education is something that really touches my heart,” said junior Jackie Dong. “I think that if I were a member of the [SSS] board I would be able to provide my ideas and dedication to the project and propel the progress in work.” Other students’ personal experiences drive them to work hard as a member of the club. “My primary motivation is coming from a low-income family, and therefore not having the resources readily available to do my best; however, supporting other students who also don’t have such opportunities would be a very humbling experience for myself,” explained junior Mahmudul Rapi. “Being a junior at Stuy has also given me a completely new mindset on
effectively studying for exams and working hard in class. I am more than willing to put in the effort and dedication to truly lift the SSS and let ourselves be known for what we stand for.” The SSS is currently partnered with several nonprofit organizations. These organizations include South Bronx United, an organization that encourages playing soccer to foster leadership skills; MasaNY, where tutors help students prepare for Regents examinations; Apex for Youth, which provides services to underserved immigrant children; and Reading Partners, an organization that focuses on empowering students to succeed in life by developing their reading skills. Partnering with these nonprofit organizations has given tutors memorable experiences and provided them with a humbler outlook. When Liu mentored students at the Big Brothers Big Sisters of NYC (BBBS of NYC), he realized that students there were different in terms of academic progress. “It opened my eyes. I feel like a lot of students at Stuy live in a bubble—we think everyone is smart like us. Once [Stuyvesant students] step out into the real world and work with these organizations, they will have a new worldview,” he remarked. “[The] SSS is a great way to come out of the Stuyvesant bubble that a lot of people are stuck in.” Junior and SSS Vice-President Christopher Shi developed a personal connection with one of his mentees, named Kevin, at this same organization.
“At first Kevin was unsure of himself [...] often times scared to ask questions. However, as time progressed, he slowly opened up to me. Not only was I able to help him with his English Regents, but I also was able to guide him through a few questions he had about the college application process. Through this experience, I was not only able to tutor someone but also was able to make a new friend,” Shi recalled. The clubs most like SSS are ARISTA and Red Cross. Unlike these bigger Stuyvesant organizations, however, SSS does not have any tutoring requirements (several credits or hours) that must be met to obtain a certificate. In addition, SSS is open to students of all grade levels. Since many of the subjects that SSS tutors help with are at the middle school level, it is beneficial to have the participation of younger tutors, as they have a better memory of the material they learned in middle school. One lasting effect of being a member of the SSS is gaining a sense of gratitude for the endless opportunities offered at Stuyvesant. As Stuyvesant students, we are immersed in an environment that enables us to take on a variety of classes that challenge us to reach our greater heights. Many other students across NYC struggle to learn in environments that do not foster their intellectual development. The SSS is certainly playing its part in remedying this issue by mentoring students in these disadvantaged communities—one student at a time.
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Features By THE FEATURES DEPARTMENT Do you need some inspiration for a very delayed April Fools’ prank? Read on for some fantastic ideas. Sabrina Chen, freshman “You know those long rainbow candies? I washed all the sugar off with water, and I dipped it in salt. Then I put it back in the package. I called my classmate, gave it to him, then ran away. I heard him gagging, so I think it worked. I also cracked an egg on my teacher’s head.” Veronika Kowalski, junior “In seventh grade, our art teacher assigned us a collage. It took a lot of time and patience to complete since the cutouts had to be so small and just the right shade. I figured it would be hilarious to cut out faces of old men in medication advertisements and paste them onto the bodies of women in bathing suit ads. It was hysterical. By the last face-swap, I had 30 cut-out heads at my table. “The best way to make use of these heads, I naturally reasoned, would be to put them in an envelope and send them anon-
A Homage to Pranksters
ymously to a friend. I dropped the envelope with my friend’s name [onto the floor] as I walked into class. Midway through the period, the teacher picked up the envelope and brought it over to his desk. He looked puzzled, then he tore it open. “One thing led to another, and soon enough 30 heads were traveling halfway around the class. Some kid started lining them up on his table. The principal came in, followed by the assistant principal and two supervisors. The principal sat next to the kid with the heads on his desk. Thankfully, the kid was able to hide the heads before the principal sat next to him.”
Rebecca Kim, sophomore “This was sometime before eighth grade. My uncle from my mom’s side told me to pull a ghost prank on my mom. It was 8:00 or 9:00 p.m., so my mom was already asleep and it was dark. I put jam, or something red, on the corner of my mouth so that it dripped down in a line to my chin. I had longer hair back then, so I pulled it to the front of my face so that it covered my face and I went up to my sleeping mom. She yelled [at] me a lot, and my uncle, who was
outside the room, was laughing.”
Barbara Garber, Health “My friend and I were at an electronics museum in Washington. We had a little remote, so we would turn the TVs in the museum on and off repeatedly. We were never caught.” Corinne Pita, junior “One time, on April Fools’ Day, my brother had the idea to tie down the sprinkler button on the kitchen sink so that when my dad went to [...] use it, right when he turned the faucet on, it would spray him in the morning. And it worked perfectly!” Kayla Fang, junior “I remember walking to my outside gym locker and finding a Post-it note stuck to the inside of the locker door. The note read: ‘DO NOT LEAVE YOUR LOCKER UNLOCKED!! PLEASE COME SEE ME IN MY OFFICE—Mr. Moran.’ I wholeheartedly believed it. I have never locked my locker before. Like your very average teenager, I told everyone [what] I came across. In my mind, I was already crafting excuses and intricate semi-truths to cover for myself.
Then came physics class. In the middle of telling everyone there my ordeal, I noticed another Post-it note stuck to the first one. It read: ‘HAVE A NICE DAY!!— Jane and Annie.’ I did laugh, but I think I cried a bit too.” Victor Greez, AP U.S. History, and AP Integrated Government and Economics teacher “I had a student named Hassan. He’s at Yale right now. I have my students send me pictures when they go to museums, and, well, he sent this picture where he was modeling, so I printed [about] 15 copies and put them up on my wall, and I asked students which one they thought was the best picture even though they were identical, and we spent like 10 minutes discussing this. So that was my prank on him. He responded by printing out pictures of me, and he came in and saturated the classroom with them, but the best part is that if you go into the social studies room, there’s a picture of my kids, and he put his picture on there as if he was one of my kids, and it’s still up there.” Sandy Tan, sophomore “My entire family pranks spam callers with cat sounds.”
Palak Srivastava, sophomore “One time in middle school, I put this plastic cockroach on a hexbug, and I put it in my friend’s locker. It was just moving around in there, and she opened the locker, and from all the way across the hallway, you could hear a scream. She thought it was a real cockroach. It was really funny.” Anonymous, AP U.S. History teacher “I sewed together the front crotch area of my older brother’s underwear. So when he had to go to the bathroom during school, he basically had to rip his underwear to use the restroom. I obviously didn’t know what underwear he was gonna wear, so I sewed all of them to be sure.” Kevin Liu, junior “The funniest prank that’s ever been pulled on me was when I was 10 years old. I was in the park playing tag with my brother, and I ran faster than him so he got frustrated. I was climbing the ladder to a slide when he decided to quite literally pull a prank on me by pulling my pants down.”
Teacher’s Take: Judgements on Juuling By SUSANNAH AHN and KAELIANA YU Vapes, e-cigarettes, or mods. No matter what you call them, these devices deliver a drug that is barred from students yet still commonly and often discreetly used by teenagers. One brand of e-cigarettes, stylized as JUUL, is becoming a distressingly growing problem. Because of its extremely popular use among adolescents, it has provoked major concerns from school officials and educators. Here are some thoughts from Stuyvesant teachers. Minkyu Kim, English teacher
Susannah Ahn / The Spectator
English teacher Minkyu Kim had firm thoughts on juuling. “I’m going to come off as the curmudgeonly guy yelling at a cloud, but honestly, I think this phenomenon [of juuling] is incredibly lame,” Kim said. “In short, I think you all look ridiculous.” While juuling remains an underlying issue at Stuyvesant, it has yet to be properly dealt with. Kim actively intervenes when he witnesses students juuling. “I’ve caught a couple of kids trying to do it surreptitiously in the hallway, and I took the things away, but I’m honestly not sure why [I did so].” Kim said. “I know it’s starting to be banned in places, but I think it’s one of those things where it’s so new that we as a society are just catching up to what [it] even is, and don’t really know what we collectively feel about it yet. ” Kim believes that the vaping problem at Stuyvesant might also relate to students’ perception of the amount of power that juuling holds over their appearance. “Students think it makes them subversive and rebellious, and therefore cool,” he said. In addition to such psychological motivators, the chemical makeup of Juuls makes juuling as dangerous a practice as smoking cigarettes, and frankly, any other addictive habit that can harm one’s health. “I also assume [that students juul because] of nicotine addiction,” Kim explained.
“As far as I understand it, by ingesting nicotine, you actually create a need that is only satisfied by more nicotine. So you think you’re calmer, but really you’re just fooling yourself. Creating a need that is only satisfied by consumption—it resonates with our capitalist sensibilities.” However, Kim does believe that Juul may be beneficial when not used recreationally. “I did have a friend who used it to quit smoking, so I know it has a practical use for some people.” This, however, does not lessen the dangers of vaping. Both smoking and vaping could lead to serious consequences. Zachary Berman, Social Studies teacher Social Studies teacher Zachary Berman also noted the stigmas surrounding smoking and juuling, pointing out that “students have seen all this propa-
ganda against smoking and now they think [juuling] is safe,” he said. While juuling may seem like a substitute for smoking, Berman drew attention to the fact that the act of juuling simply raises more problems: “If juuling helps you get off of cigarettes, what helps you get off of juuling? Nothing. It hooks you forever. It’s hard to quit,” he said. Furthermore, Berman argued that vaping had the potential to be much more harmful than juuling: “[Vaping]’s safer in some ways but more dangerous in other ways because you don’t feel the smoke. The smoke hurts,” he commented. Berman also expressed his concerns regarding the effects of nicotine. “You’re more likely to take more nicotine into the body, and I think it could easily be more addictive than cigarettes,” Berman explained. “Nicotine’s also very bad for your heart. I’m more
just worried for their health.” The measures needed to combat juuling in Stuyvesant lie partly in the hands of Stuyvesant’s faculty and staff. Such change requires communal action and widespread awareness of potential health risks. “It’s tricky because you don’t want to make it into a cops and robbers game and make everybody into cops and robbers,” Berman stated. “If you get caught again and again, there should be increasing punishments to discourage it, but you also don’t want to make it into cops and robbers. So you should have more propaganda about why juuling’s dangerous.” Jennifer Suri, Assistant Principal of Social Studies Assistant Principal of Social Studies Jennifer Suri believes that the risks that come with juuling may not be limited to physical health. She shared an experi-
ence where “a student’s backpack [caught] fire in class once from an electronic cigarette. His backpack started smoking. He opened it up and burned his hand on the cigarette. This was a sophomore,” Suri recalled. “This was a number of years ago.” Despite the potential hazards posed by juuling, Suri believes that it is in young people’s nature to vape, suggesting that students already know the risks but are willing to sacrifice the negative side effects to gain social clout. “[Vaping] is common,” Suri said. “[It’s common] developmentally, for adolescents to want to push the boundaries or experiment with things that are illicit.” This idea of exploring prohibited activities relates to the social reasoning Kim mentioned earlier, in which some students vape purely to look cool. The compact design of Juul could also be part of the reason that students use it. “Maybe students want to experiment with smoking; they couldn’t do it secretly, [but] could do that now. [Juul] is easier to disguise. It looks like a memory stick, from what I understand, [or] like a USB,” Suri mentioned. Suri pointed out that quite little is known of vaping and its potential effects, or how prominent student vaping is. “It may not lead so definitely to lung cancer because there are not the same carcinogens, but we don’t know what other possible effects it could have yet. I think the jury’s still out on it because we don’t know what it is you’re inhaling,” she said. Suri also emphasized familial roles regarding this issue, maintaining that “parents don’t know about it as much as they should. They don’t know that their children are doing it,” she said. The guidance department conducted a workshop on juuling, trying to address this issue, to play a familial and guiding role for students. Ultimately, the most important step one can take is to increase awareness of the product: “Just [make] people aware that it exists, that they’re not supposed to do it, that there’s some punishment to smok-
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The Spectator ● April 18, 2019
Editorials STAFF EDITORIAL
The Spectator
The State of the Arts Pablo Picasso once said, “Every child is an artist; the problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up.” This quote rings true in our digitized world, where students often prefer to scroll through a social media feed on their smartphones rather than sketch a drawing or compose a tune. This tendency is a problematic development because the arts promote students’ abilities as thinkers and creators. The arts provide a way of bridging the past with the current world we live in. At Stuyvesant, the visual arts are taught via a mandatory, oneterm, Art Appreciation course that most students take in their freshman year. This course focuses on art history from prehistoric times to the present day, and includes occasional studio days that give students the opportunity to create art themselves while drawing inspiration from works they have studied. As for the performing arts, Stuyvesant requires students who are not enrolled in band, orchestra, or chorus to take Music Appreciation, a onesemester course focusing on European music from the Baroque through the Romantic eras. There is a sense that both the Art Appreciation and Music Appreciation classes have not been as successful in instilling interest in the arts as they could be, and in some cases may even dispirit students from further exploration of these subjects. Looking back as students who have taken these courses, and analyzing the curricula, we can point to a number of factors that might explain student apathy toward these courses. First, both courses rely significantly on the memorization of dates, works, and artists or composers. Rather than promoting a learning environment that fosters an appreciation and enthusiasm for the arts through sensory details, this approach makes learning about the arts seem like a burden, requiring students to remember a dull list of names and dates. Furthermore, there are relatively few courses that build upon the knowledge students acquire in Art Appreciation and Music Appreciation. Though Stuyvesant does offer Advanced Placement (AP) courses in both art history and music theory, these classes only appeal to a select number of students who already possess
a deep interest in the arts and are willing to invest significant time into them. For students who are not inclined to take an AP course in these subjects, there are no classes to enable them to further explore art or music as academic fields. For these reasons, students may not put as much effort into Art Appreciation and Music Appreciation as they would into classes that offer a more robust sequence of follow-up offerings. A notable point is that both courses focus solely on the history of art and music in Western Europe. Neglecting the rich artistic and musical histories of Asia, Africa, and the Americas fails to present students with a more complete picture of art and music history. Moreover, a curriculum that incorporates less mainstream art and music—including Asian, African, and American forms—might interest and engage students more than the current Eurocentric curriculum does. The art and music curricula should be revised to be less reliant on memorization and to present a more representative picture of art and music history. In rethinking the Art Appreciation and Music Appreciation classes, Stuyvesant should also consider making the curriculum focus more on telling the story of art and music history, rather than on studying separate paintings or pieces. For example, instead of focusing on memorization of hard facts relating to each of the pieces studied, teachers should place an emphasis on the time period and conditions in which an artist or a composer was living. This approach gives students the ability to analyze a piece in relation to the time in which it was created and helps them better understand its significance, perhaps also in conjunction with the curriculum of history classes. In addition to placing artistic pieces in historical context, Stuyvesant could do more to reinforce the importance of the humanities in general. At Stuyvesant, a STEM-centered school, many of the students gravitate toward STEM subjects. As a result, students suffer from the common misconception that the humanities, specifically art and music, will neither be useful nor beneficial to them once they graduate. Teachers in the humanities field, not only in art and music, could make efforts to
look out for opportunities that illustrate how the material they teach relates to our daily lives; in so doing, they will help debunk this misconception. For example, understanding the changing view of women in late-19th century France would give newfound relevance to Edouard Manet’s “A Bar at the Folies-Bergère,” which depicts a provocative woman serving drinks at a bar. Finally, it would be ideal if more students left Art Appreciation and Music Appreciation with genuine love or appreciation for the arts. Including creative projects, such as composing a melody or sketching in a certain style, could help students discover a love for art and music. These are just some of the ways that we hope Stuyvesant will consider breathing new life into these courses. If more students do develop newfound interests in the arts, Stuyvesant should consider offering a diverse range of classes that would fulfill the art and music requirements. To make an earnest effort at impacting a large number of students, many of whom come into Stuyvesant with a dislike or disinterest in the humanities, we need classes that do more than one-semester-long skimming of the surface. A full-year studio art course that places a larger emphasis on creating could change the mindset of these students in a significant way. Actively doing art and applying learned techniques, students do more than passively absorb art history. As for music, Stuyvesant should increase the number of sections of Beginner Band, and even consider dropping the requirement for students to continue with band in subsequent years. A small change like this one would introduce more students to the experience of playing an instrument and making music, an experience wholly different from studying music history. If Picasso was correct when he observed that every child has an artistic inclination, the mission of high school should be, in part, to cultivate each student’s artistic potential. Art Appreciation and Music Appreciation are a solid start to that end, but there is much more Stuyvesant could do to make sure that every student has a meaningful opportunity and simply a good experience to develop a genuine love for the arts.
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Myth of MSG
By ANNE RHEE A California judge denied a $1.5 million class action lawsuit on December 8, 2015, which claimed that Annie Chun’s, a processed food company, was liable for false advertising. The
company, which specializes in “simple gourmet Asian cuisine,” advertised all its products as 100 percent natural, but the lawsuit pointed out that the products contained MSG, or monosodium glutamate, which it claimed was not “natural” and a chemical additive. The reason that the judge gave for finding Annie Chun’s not liable was that the plaintiff had not argued why the lawsuit needed to be filed on behalf of a national consumerate (which it was), despite the fact that Annie Chun’s operated in California and was being sued under California law. Monosodium glutamate is a chemical additive that has become increasingly used by companies internationally as a flavor enhancer. It is the ionic form of glutamate, an amino acid used to build proteins in the human body, and it is chemically rec-
ognized by the body as another protein when consumed. MSG’s use in processed food began in the 20th century, as it provided an affordable way for corporations to provide a diverse and wide range of food products to consumers, allowing for variety and making processed foods more appealing. However, the current scientific consensus is that monosodium glutamate has negative health effects, ranging from weight gain to eyesight loss to minor effects like nausea; yet there is a lack of substantive, concrete evidence that confirms this widely accepted information. The first report that shed MSG in a negative light was by Dr. Robert Ho Man Kwon in the 1960s. In a letter to the New England Journal of Medicine, Kwon stated that he had gone to a Chinese restaurant for
a meal and within an hour, he began feeling palpitations and numbness throughout his body. He suggested that these symptoms were indicative of a larger syndrome, which he coined as “Chinese Restaurant Syndrome,” bringing up other examples in the past when he and his Chinese friends would experience these symptoms after dining in Chinese restaurants in the U.S. that served northern Chinese cuisine. He then argued that research needed to be done on this new syndrome, and a variety of responses were sent in to the editors. Many readers agreed, but they also added on to this list of symptoms, including a “pounding Chinese headache” and dizziness. Others tried to interpret the cause of their symptoms, with a large majority pointing to the “oriental eating practices of the Chinese.”
A few scientists began to conduct research to isolate what was causing CRS, and in 1969, researchers Robert Byck and Hanno Schaumburg published their results in the New England Journal of Medicine. Byck and Schaumburg were able to isolate MSG as the cause of the many symptoms associated with CRS by isolating wonton soup from a restaurant where some claimed to have experienced symptoms. They recorded that there were three grams of MSG per 200 grams of soup, and after choosing a sample of 12 individuals who then consumed the soup, observed the reported symptoms. However, the experiment’s results failed to produce any concrete information, because like all chemical compounds, MSG creates different responses continued on page 13
The Spectator ● April 18, 2019
Page 13
Opinions A Hazy Process
By JESSY MEI It is June of 2017. Maxwell Gruver is 18-years-old and ready to graduate from Blessed Trinity Catholic High School. His grandparents beam, and tears well up in his parents’ eyes as he ascends to accept his diploma. He has graduated, and he couldn’t be happier. Three months later, after giving his mother a final kiss goodbye, he is ready to leave the nest and embark on his own journey at Louisiana State University. He dreams of becoming a sports writer, having memorized all the existing football and baseball teams by heart. But, Gruver’s new life comes abruptly to an end on September 14, 2017. His two younger siblings will never see him again. His beloved grandparents will never see him again. He will never become a sports writer, and the only work he’ll have published are works from his hometown, published before his death. Gruver died with a blood alcohol level of .495, a result of being forced to drink alcohol for being unable to answer questions about his fraternity accurately. Though this may seem like an extreme case of death by alcohol poisoning, it’s a case that has been seen far too many times, and it is one that is becoming more prevalent in our world. Hazing, or the imposition of harsh or challenging tasks on one seeking initiation, typically into a sorority or fraternity, has been around since the 1800s. In recent years, however, there has been a drastic increase
in the number hazing-caused deaths—in fact, according to Hank Nuwer, a professor at Franklin College who has closely monitored incidents of hazing over decades, 2017 was the peak of the number of hazing deaths in the past 40 years. With hazing at unprecedented levels, there has come a new urgency to address the ethics of hazing on college campuses. Hazing promotes the tolerance of abusive behavior and pain to achieve a sense of belonging and conveys the idea that those who inflict pain or humiliation do it solely with the victim’s best interests at heart. It establishes a power dynamic elevating the perpetrator and oppressing the victim, and sometimes, it seems to help the perpetrator cope with past trauma. Domestic abuse and hazing progress in similar ways, starting with subtly demeaning or deprecating comments and ultimately transforming into acts of violence. Thus, we must take a stand against hazing— not only to create healthier environments on college campus, but also to take down the culture surrounding domestic abuse. We can only begin to initiate change by changing our attitudes surrounding hazing and by acknowledging that it plays a major role in promoting abuse. In the vast majority of hazing-related deaths, the causes of deaths are due to alcohol poisoning, or instability linked to excessive alcohol consumption. While it may seem clear that hazing should be avoided at all costs, it is not so clear as to why so many voluntarily walk into its arms despite the obvious dangers it poses. To understand this, it is crucial to understand that joining a sorority or fraternity for a “lifetime of sisterhood or brotherhood” yields great social and professional advantages. During rush week, those interested in Greek life become acquainted with different sororities and fraternities, and some receive invites, or bids, to become pledging members of an organization. Once one becomes a pledging member, one becomes more likely to be subjected to hazing in order to prove one’s dedication and determination to join and secure a position in the sorority. Hazing
is typically carried out for these main purposes: to eliminate those “not worthy” of joining the organization; to instill pride in “winning” the right to be apart of it; to imbue conformity, fear, and respect in a new class; or to serve as an outlet for pent-up anger from past trauma. When the hazing begins, it starts out small―pledgers are typically forced to cross-dress or complete insignificant or slightly humiliating tasks. This asserts the belief that the process will only be slightly painful, and “not too serious.” Most members decide to continue through the process at this point. However, with time, the intensity of the hazing drastically increases, and it advances into physical and psychological abuse. As Jo Hannah Burch, a student at Young Harris College who sued the school after her hazing experience, recounted, she was blindfolded and driven to a forest, where she was pressured to crawl through a frigid creek and do physically strenuous labor, while being spat at and taunted. Aldo Cimino, an anthropology lecturer at the University of California, claimed hazing is “fundamentally coercive [and] forces people to submit to behavior they wouldn’t normally be on board with.” Despite the strenuosity of the labor and the disrespect pledges are forced to experience, there are indeed longterm benefits of going through hazing and being officially initiated into a sorority. As the result of a long and arduous initiation process, sororities are more exclusive, and they serve as great resources for one’s career goals. As Cimino puts it, “the costs―temporary discomfort and humiliation―pale in comparison to the potential benefits, which include prestige, a more active social life, and a social network that could help students later in life.” Despite the overwhelming advantages of agreeing to being hazed, the negative effects of the hazing process outweigh the positives by far―hazing causes irreparable psychological damage to those who willingly subject themselves to it and promotes the culture of domestic abuse. Hazing undoubtedly goes hand in hand with abusive
behavior and relationships, and it promotes the idea that when a partner is being abusive or causing the suffering of the other, it is ultimately worth it for love or a stronger sense of community. In an environment of domestic abuse, it excuses the abusive partner’s actions and sugarcoats issues with the false idea that “they have their best interests at heart.” Violence and abuse can never be justified with superficial and insincere love; hazing does just that, teaching submission and acceptance of pain for a “greater good.” Though choosing to subject oneself to hazing and successfully being initiated into a sorority may reap great social benefits, hazing also strips away one’s sense of individualism for conformity and distorts one’s social interactions with others forever. Pledging members are pressured to adhere to the status quo, agree to treatment they would normally be strongly against, and lose their voices and ability to think and act for themselves, giving in to groupthink instead. As conformity and collective-decision making dominate the lives of pledging members, they may permanently be deprived of their sense of individuality and their ability to challenge societal norms. Such conformity minimizes conflict with the sorority and discourages “whistle-blowing” Also, the likelihood of notifying the authorities about the presence of hazing will be reduced, as the whistle-blower is immediately cast out and receives strong backlash for reporting hazing, as they are expected to silently agree with this culture. When freshmen grow older and the hazed become the hazers, hazing promotes the idea that using violence to cope with having once been the victim of violence is justified. Burch described the girls who had particularly suffered the most as “so ready for the next semester...to do this to other people,” he said. The cycle of abuse and mistreatment is perpetuated with every rush period, as those who suffered extensive emotional trauma become more likely to inflict the same type of damage to others. They feel a boost in self esteem and power as they do so, reflecting a twist-
ed method of coping through developing sadistic tendencies. Though humiliation and forcing others to experience trauma may indeed strengthen the bonds between a class of pledges who suffered abuse together, this just creates a stronger sense of bitterness, hatred, and division between the yearly classes. A true sisterhood and brotherhood is founded on sincere love and goodwill for all, not the idea of qualified love solely for those who do one’s bidding or agree to abuse and trauma. Hazing tears at the seams of true, sincere social relationships based on trust and distorts what may have been a Greek organization’s genuine attempt at a sense of community. It is ironic that in an institution dedicated to producing the leaders of the future, virtues of conformity and yielding to established figures are simultaneously preached through sororities and fraternities. The initiated members who become hesitant to make decisions that may not be in the interest of veteran members are people who become afraid of taking risks and challenging authority in society. The message that hazing conveys runs dangerously against the goals of college and the pursuit of a higher education. Gruver was only 18-yearsold when he died a tragic yet preventable death due to alcohol poisoning. He had a bright future ahead of him and a life to look forward to when he was taken from this world by something so easily prevented. It didn’t have to happen, but it did because of the trivialized nature of hazing during the rush process. Hazing is never worth the “long term benefits;” it promotes and plays to larger themes of domestic abuse, submission, and conformity. By choosing not to be passive in addressing hazing, you can reinforce your sense of individuality and show others considering or undergoing the process that it should not be normalized. You can speak out against the culture of abuse and deter others considering it from enduring the abuse that too many have before. Either that, or you can leave others to face the same fate as Gruver.
caused many to denounce the Asian community as a whole and also exacerbate the xenophobic perceptions surrounding Asian immigrants. Though researchers throughout the 20th century have acknowledged that not enough research has been done to verify that these claims about MSG are true, current society continues to believe that CRS exists with little empirical evidence. This is evident because people continue to avoid MSG, despite the FDA stating that there has been no correlation found between consuming MSG and the alleged side effects. This statement has also been backed up by the Food Standards Australia New Zealand, or FSANZ. Despite the scientific consensus, the 20th century rumors surrounding MSG have become concrete assumptions that continue to spur the marginalization of Chinese
immigrants, Chinese culture, and the Asian community in the U.S. Not only is this indicative of the ever-continuing structural oppression that marginalized groups continue to face, but it also provides another example of how science has been used to prop up the existing racism in the status quo. Even though nowadays American manufacturers use MSG in large quantities, the negativity surrounding MSG has continued to be uniquely associated with Chinese culture. It shows how racialized discourse is what the science surrounding MSG has become. Until substantive research is actually done, it is important to challenge these assumptions that have become so ingrained into society. Otherwise, we will continue to trust misinformation that continues to exacerbate the oppression that we say we are trying to challenge.
Myth of MSG continued from page 12
in different individuals, so some had more responsive symptoms than others. Other experiments followed, and those that came to the conclusion that MSG was the cause of CRS failed to explain a couple inconsistencies. The first is that consumers only experienced these health risks only in the U.S. and only in Chinese restaurants; the experiments failed to explain why Chinese cuisine in other countries hadn’t affected other people who have consumed this cuisine. The second is that as more reports began flooding in about others’ experiences when it came to CRS, the list of symptoms grew longer and longer, ranging from numbness to even deterioration of eyesight. Furthermore, research failed to distinguish what set MSG apart from other forms of glutamate,
which is used as a metabolic precursor to GABA, a neurotransmitter used to reduce neurological excitability within humans. This means that if there were no difference between GABA and MSG, then MSG would cause the human body to be more prone to relieving stress, anxiety and improving one’s mood. If anything, excessive consumption of MSG could possibly lead to weight gain because it is a flavor enhancer that makes food more appealing, but again, this is not a direct effect of the additive itself. During the late 20th century, though inclusive laws like the 1965 Immigration and Nationality Act were passed, Asian immigrants still faced an environment of racially and xenophobically charged biases that seemed to be of lasting permanence. Literature with first-person accounts of interactions with these Asian immigrants would paint them
as dirty and exotic, replete with claims of “cooking dogs” or other lovable domestic animals that the genteel white population would never imagine putting in a pot. Particularly, Asian cuisine, now established in restaurants, stood out, unassimilable in its unfamiliar, spice-filled glory. As early claims of CRS began to surface, this particularly garnered more attention as celebrities like Lorne Greene, and even media sources like The Toronto Star, began exclusively reporting on the phenomenon. Rumors started to circulate; Chinese restaurateurs would use MSG to mask the exotic meats or ingredients within their foods, for instance. The claims began to include such a wide range of cuisine and symptoms that another, lesser known variation of this restaurant syndrome became coined, known as Japanese Restaurant Syndrome. Such misinformation
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The Spectator ● April 18, 2019
Arts and Entertainment music
By Theo Kubovy-Weiss In popular culture, creators seldom venture into other media; throughout their careers, musicians remain musicians, actors remain actors, and so on. Very rarely do we see an artist successfully create forms of art different from the field in which they began their career. It truly is an extraordinary feat to be able to effectively produce two forms of art, which is why so few have done so. While a small number of actors and musicians have made this transition, it has never been the case that a YouTuber has ventured (successfully) into alternative media. That is, with the exception of Joji. On YouTube, Joji, born George Miller, was most commonly known as Filthy Frank. Filthy Frank was one of a number of Miller’s online personas, among others like Pink Guy and Chin-Chin. Filthy Frank was obscene, grotesque, and unrelentingly offensive. He ruthlessly and shamelessly perpetuated racial, religious, and ethnic stereotypes, incessantly used explicit language, and seemingly never ceased his efforts to make the viewer vomit. Yet despite the disgusting content of his videos, Filthy Frank has garnered an enormous fanbase with 6.3 million subscribers on YouTube. If you were to look past the repulsiveness of his videos, Filthy Frank is actually part of something that many fans consider to be beautiful and artistic. Around Filthy Frank, Miller has created a number of other characters, all part of his fantastical world. Almost akin to Greek mythology, the world of Filthy Frank is a narrative with a num-
music By MORRIS RASKIN Almost every time a studio album is released, the goal is to sell as many copies as possible. Often, this is the case. Copies are sold, people enjoy the music, and the album is deemed a success. Some albums, like Post Malone’s “Beerbongs and Bentleys” (2018), sell incredibly well, with 461,000 copies sold in just the first week. Other albums aren’t so lucky, and every once a while, an album will come around that disappoints in sales enough that it is deemed a “flop.” Flops differ from artist to artist, and there is no one way to define a flop. For example, some people would consider Taylor Swift’s “Reputation” (2018) a flop, despite having sold 1.22 million copies in just the first week, because it did slightly worse than most other Taylor Swift albums. On the other hand, Lorde’s most recent album called “Melodrama” (2017) only sold about 100,000 copies in its first week and was considered a flop. Lorde was supposed to be the next Katy Perry after her debut album “Pure Heroine” (2013). Her album was then deemed a flop by many people, even though it contained the hit song “Green Light,” and was nominated for best album at the Grammys. The album even received rave reviews on sites like Metacritic and Rotten To-
Inside the Artist: The Mythical, Fantastical Joji ber of different, nuanced characters. Each video is a moment in the amazingly detailed plot of the Filthy Frank saga, with an intricate series of storylines, conflicts, and figures. The ability to create such an incredible mythological world is inherently artistic, and so while many think of Joji’s YouTube career as a blemish on his artistic career, it can also be considered a testament to his artistry and creativity. Miller began his musical career with the release of “Pink Season” (2017). The album, none of which was meant to be taken seriously, was released under the persona “Pink Guy,” one of the many characters in the world of Filthy Frank. “Pink Season” is hard to categorize into a specific genre, simply because of i t s u n o r t h o d ox y. The album includes songs
like “Gays 4 Donald,” “Please Stop Touching My Willy,” and “Hentai,” a song that includes the lyrics, “Yes, I love hentai / It helps me / Control my rape tendencies.” The entire album was intended to be facetious, upholding Miller’s public persona at the time of being funny, offensive, and provocative. Although some people, both at the time of the release and today, are offended and repulsed by the lyrics, “Pink
Season” was also beloved by many who were intrigued by the provocative styles. Later that year came Miller’s first album, titled “In Tongues,” (2017) under the name Joji. In great contrast to Miller’s previous releases, “In Tongues” is more serious, emotional, and chill than the upbeat melodies and droll lyrics of “Pink Season.” “In Tongues” contains songs like “Will He” and “Demons,” both of which are much more personal than anything Joji had
pre-
Vivian Lu / The Spectator
viously put out, containing lyrics such as, “Will he treat you like [expletive] just the way that I did? / ‘Cause I don’t blame ya / ‘Cause I don’t need to know / I just want to make sure you’re okay.” Such statements are an intimate display of Joji’s feelings of insecurity and doubt, which are made all the more significant when juxtaposed with his previous work.
While “In Tongues” gained some recognition, without the facetious tone of “Pink Season” that fans of Miller were used to, it was not able to perform as well. Miller’s fanbase was most familiar with the completely ironic content that had been put out until that point, and the change in tone was difficult for some to adjust to. The sound of the album was also very different from that of “Pink Season,” with calm, muffled vocals throughout, driven by simple riffs and beats. Just under a year after the release of “In Tongues,” Joji released his sophomore album, “BALLADS 1” (2018). The album cover was a grainy, blurry and overexposed closeup of Joji’s face, potentially a testament to, quite literally, the personal nature of the album. Following the moderate success of “In Tongues,” “BALLADS 1” debuted at number one on Billboard’s Top Hip-Hop/ R&B Albums and number three o n
Billboard’s 200 list. The album contains “SLOW DANCING IN THE DARK,” Joji’s most popular song to date. It is beautiful and harmonic, while remaining gritty and interesting with a slow, simple riff over a drum beat that gradually intensifies. Despite the song’s simplicity, it gains emotion and energy, culminating in an explosion of the chorus—arguably the emotional peak of the record. The entire
album, while lyrically remaining as equally personal and powerful as its predecessor, has a slightly lighter tone to it; in lieu of the mumbling that dominated “In Tongues,” Joji sings on “BALLADS 1,” often very powerfully and evocatively. Since George Miller made his YouTube channel in 2013, he has accumulated a wide fanbase for a number of artistic accomplishments. On YouTube, he has garnered an enormous following for creating an amazing (and often repugnant) mythology of characters and stories. In the music world, he has risen to prominence, with an original combination of simultaneously calm and emotional songs that are favorites to many. It truly is an extraordinary feat to be able to be so immensely successful across two distinct media. In the past few years, creators on YouTube have worked toward becoming respected artists on the platform. While the work of YouTubers like Casey Neistat and Freddie Wong conform to the more traditional definition of art with videos similar to short films or TV series, others on the platform have had a more difficult time branding themselves as artists, hindered by more juvenile creators and prank channels. With that, George Miller has become a model for YouTubers, an otherwise neglected and disrespected group, who hope to make the same transition. His unbelievable creativity, artistry, and execution of ideas have allowed him to demonstrate to the world what YouTubers are capable of, which makes him an incredibly unique and talented figure.
The Truth About Album Flops matoes. So what exactly does an album flop cost an established artist like Lorde or Taylor Swift? MONEY The most terrifying prospect for the label, and often the artist as well, is having simply less money made. When an album sells fewer copies than the art-
according to my intense calculations, would likely yield about half the profits. Also, with a less popular album, tour tickets might be less important for fans to buy, so the artist could lose money on that front as well. REPUTATION Going back to Justin Timberlake, “Man of the Woods”
Katy Perry. Her album “Witness” (2017) seemed to have removed her from her place as a ruler of the pop scene. She “struggles to come up with lyrics that aren’t plain cringeworthy,” according to Pitchfork, and Spin magazine even went as far as to call the album a “spectacular failure.” She no longer is the hit making machine she used to
Every once a while, an album will come around that disappoints in sales enough that it is deemed a ‘“lop.”
ist expects, their paycheck might be slightly lower than usual, but for someone like Justin Timberlake, Kelly Clarkson, Katy Perry, or Lorde, this shouldn’t be too much of a big deal. However, Justin Timberlake’s album “FutureSex/LoveSounds” (2006) sold 684,000 copies in its first week, while his most recent album called “Man of the Woods” (2018) only sold 293,000, which is a lot for a small time artist on the come up, but not for Timberlake. Half the album sales,
(2018) was generally panned by critics. Pitchfork said the album is a “huge misstep for the pop star,” and USA Today said that “Timberlake is far from the pop music innovator he once was.” In the album, Justin tried to blend country, pop, disco, RnB, rock, and electronic sounds, which ended up scarring fans and critics, and blinding them slightly from the pop star he used to be: a full fledged, authentic pop star. An even bigger example of this, though, is international pop star
be, and it’s showing. Only one song from the album went into the top 40 of the Billboard Hot 100. Compare this to her album “Teenage Dream” (2010), where five songs from that album alone went to the number one seat. DEATH OF A GENRE There has been a trend amongst the aforementioned albums that flopped: they are almost all entirely pop. As hiphop quickly takes over the radio, streaming services, and charts,
pop is getting pushed to the sidelines. This could mean the death of a genre as we know it. If you want to have a pop smash hit in 2019, chances are you have to be an established, well-known name that’s been around for years, or perhaps your song got caught up in some sort of trend, but otherwise, it’s going to be hard. It’s very possible that pop just isn’t what it used to be, but this complete genre switch is on par with the rock and roll takeover of last century, in my humble opinion. It will be incredibly interesting to see how this shift presents itself in the coming years, and if pop will make a comeback any time soon. As rapper Logic puts it in his song “44 More,” “Sold more albums my first week than Harry Styles and Katy Perry / If that ain’t a sign of the times, then I don’t know what is man this s*it is scary.” While these descriptions might have presented a grim view of the music industry, it is important to remember that just because an album flops doesn’t mean you shouldn’t listen to it. In fact, instead of mourning the artist who flopped, we should support them and listen more, because if we want to keep the music industry from becoming a boring and dry place full of albums that are made only to appeal to popular radio, we need to start celebrating the albums that don’t fit that description.
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The Spectator ● April 18, 2019
Sports Girls’ Softball
Renegades Dominate in Season Opener Continued from Page 22 By MATT MELUCCI
this game was a good confidence booster for us. I want us to continue taking more risks in games,” Gary said. Filling the shoes of former co-captains, who were catcher Charlotte Ruhl and ace pitcher Francesca Michielli, is a challenging task, but seniors Ruby Gary and Alexandra Archer have already proven themselves to be good replacements. Archer played the full seven innings on the mound, keeping the Hunter Hawks at only three hits and two earned runs. At the same time,
Gary performed well with good blocking techniques as the catcher. The two have clearly played together and regularly show their chemistry on the diamond. In the infield, there were constant balls hit to Lubelsky at second base, who efficiently made the play to senior and co-captain Alexandra Lennard at first base every time. With experienced players and excellent team chemistry, the Renegades have upped their expectations for this season as well. “Now that we’re in a new AA league, we are more ambitious
to succeed in this season,” Lennard said. More specifically, they have new goals in terms of their ranking at the end of the season. Coach Miller is confident and determined that the team is ready to excel and achieve their objectives. “We’re not only trying to make the playoffs this season; we’re trying to be win our division,” he said. With the strong fielding and batting the Renegades displayed at their opening game against Hunter, it seems that their target is not a reach.
Zoe Oppenheimer / The Spectator
All eyes turned to home plate at the crack of junior Aeryn Lubelsky’s bat. Spectators went silent as they gazed at the softball flying to the left field fence. The Hunter Hawks’ left-fielder desperately ran to the ball, but by the time she had picked it up, Lubelsky was already rounding second base. There was an uproar in the dugout once Lubelsky reached third base and brought in two runners. The score was 6-1 now, and Stuyvesant’s softball team, the Renegades, was hungry for more. They had secured the lead and continued relentlessly until they earned their opening win of the season. After hard work during practices and scrimmages, the Renegades finally arrived at their opening game against Hunter College High School on March 27 at Frederick Douglass Park. With a five-run lead after Lubelsky’s hit, they showed no mercy, defeating Hunter 12-3, as they have consistently done in past seasons. After finishing sixth in the city last year, the Renegades felt confident in obliterating the Hunter Hawks. Throughout the first and second innings, the Renegades scored
three runs and kept the Hunter Hawks at two, but not without a cost. During the second inning, as senior and co-captain Julianna Fabrizio ran to home plate, she twisted her ankle and soon left the field, injured and unable to return. Once the Renegades managed to cope with Fabrizio’s injury and became comfortable with the Hunter Hawks’ pitching, they turned on the offensive and scored five runs in the third inning, going through the entire batting lineup. Having secured the lead, they kept the Hawks at three runs by the seventh inning, scoring an additional four themselves. The victory can be attributed to the Renegades’ stellar hitting. They had 12 RBIs from 11 hits. When commenting on the win, Coach Vincent Miller said, “We played well offensively today. We hit some big shots and had good hitting overall. Though we played well, we have to work on our base running and sliding.” Senior and co-captain Ruby Gary also noted that while they beat a weak opponent, the team needs to “work on baserunning, especially getting used to sliding,” she said. This opener was a great start for the team as they have recently been moving players around and are still figuring out their best positions. “We’ve been having switches in positions, and I think
Sports Editorial
David, “Get the Hell Out of New York” Man! By SUNAN TAJWAR If you were born in New York at or around the turn of the century, you’ve probably noticed the love-hate relationship between the people of New York City and their sports teams. For so many years, the centerpiece of the back page of New York newspapers and tabloids has always been the New York Knicks. The one thing harder than building a dynasty over the span of a decade is being laughably bad for more than a decade. The New York Knicks, placed in the center of the sporting world, brought out the purest form of hatred and anger out of the angelic people New Yorkers are known to be. Madison Square Garden is arguably the most famous arena for sporting events in the world, but the New York Knicks have disgraced all the teams that have graced the Eden Garden for as long as we can remember. James Dolan, the “mastermind” behind all this, is unanimously known to be the worst owner in all of basketball. It is safe to say that Dolan will join Dan Gilbert and Dan Snyder as first-ballot Hall of Famers in the Hall of Fame for the most hated owners. But it’s time for you to move over Dolan, because there is a new guy in town who wants your throne: Dave Gettleman. The New York Giants are making New York sports fans reach levels of hysteria and disap-
pointment they didn’t even know they were capable of. Gettleman is doing the impossible. He’s giving the Knicks a run for their money. And those guys gave Joakim Noah a $72 million contract. This season sums up one of the historically worst off-seasons in the history of the New York Giants. The first mistake Gettleman made was tricking himself into believing that Eli Manning had a few years left in the NFL as a starting quarterback. Manning can’t hit a billboard from 20 yards out. Right now, it’s questionable whether or not Eli Manning could win a starting spot in the Stuyvesant Peglegs’ starting squad. The second mistake Gettleman made was letting Landon Collins walk for free. Collins is one of the three best safeties in the NFL and has been the leader of the Giants’ defense since he was drafted out of Alabama. Collins was the only consistent performer the Giants had every Sunday. He had to play nearly perfect games just to keep James Bettcher’s defenses head above water. But the Giants didn’t even have the courtesy to franchise tag their defensive anchor; instead, they just let one of the best defensive players in the NFL walk into free agency. And here is the cherry on top of the Landon Collins catastrophe: Collins signed a deserving six-year $84 million contract with the Washington Redskins, the Giants’ division
rivals. There is no doubt in my mind that Collins will prove to his new employers that he deserved every single dollar of that new contract when he plays the Giants twice next year. But the worst decision Gettleman made this offseason is trading away Odell Beckham Jr. one year after the Giants had just given him a $74 million contract—the largest contract for any wide receiver in the league. As a Giants fan, I laugh and cry every time I even think about it. In its stupidity, this trade by Gettleman ranks at the same level as the Brooklyn Nets trading away their entire future for the retirement years of Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett. Odell Beckham Jr. (OBJ) is a once-in-a-lifetime athlete. OBJ had a combination of speed, acrobatics, route running, and pure athleticism that you get maybe every few decades. He’s arguably the best receiver in the league, given the load and responsibility he carries for his team on the offensive side. As good as Antonio Brown, Julio Jones, and DeAndre Hopkins are, none of them carry the responsibility of being the one and only aerial threat on their team. Before the Giants’ drafting of the best running back in the league (Saquon Barkley), Odell Beckham Jr. was playing with a bag of potato chips and a mop. With over 5000 yards receiving and 44 touchdowns in his first five years, Odell has put up unbe-
lievable numbers ever since he entered the league. This is the worst management decision in New York sporting history; it’s up there with the Knicks re-signing Carmelo Anthony. Now, some may argue that the Browns compensated the Giants fairly well with the 17th pick in the 2019 NFL Draft— that is, in addition to the safety replacement Jabrill Peppers and another pick. But wait— the Giants messed that one up too. The Giants, in fact, won’t have two first-round picks in the upcoming draft because instead of recognizing that they are the worst team in football, they stubbornly decided that they needed to win meaningless games at the back end of the season and lose out on a top three draft pick, which they would have secured if they just tanked a lost season. For the first time in their lives, fans of the Giants can thank the Cowboys, specifically Dak Prescott, for playing an incredible game in week 17 against the Giants, winning 36-35 and salvaging the sixth pick in the draft for a team that is collapsing from the front office to the players. But the Giants are scared that Dwayne Haskins, quarterback of Ohio State, will not be there to pick at six. So instead of having two picks to compensate for trading away a generational talent, the Giants will get one pick in the first round to pick a one-year starter at Ohio State, naively hoping that he lives up
to his potential. Gettleman is an old school general manager working for an old school franchise in a league that is leaving them behind. Gettleman and the Giants have a tendency to make player and coaching acquisitions based on a gut feeling because they believe it’s the old school Giants way. Gettleman obviously hasn’t watched “Moneyball” (2001). What a shame—it was one of Brad Pitt’s greatest works). That gut feeling method just doesn’t work anymore. The key to success in professional sports these days are in the numbers. Teams are striking gold on cheap players that perform consistently by performing their respective roles. Statistics get you consistent and coachable players who become good contributors to playoff times. Just ask the Patriots—they’ve only won about six Super Bowls in the past two decades. A gut feeling gets you a 32-year-old running back in Jonathan Stewart, who packed on more pounds than rush yards last season. But maybe it’s for the best because now Gettleman and the Giants won’t get a chance to waste the prime years of OBJ. But then again, maybe the OBJ trade was a passing of the torch from the Cleveland Browns, who have been the laughing stock of the league for over a decade now, to the Giants, the current laughing stock of the NFL for possibly many years to come.
The Spectator ● April 18, 2019
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The Spectator ● April 18, 2019
Boys’ Baseball
THE SPECTATOR SPORTS CALENDAR
Peglegs Start Off Season Hot
Stuyvesant Sports:
april
23 Zoe Oppenheimer / The Spectator
tuesday
Boys’ and Girls’ Track @ 9:00 a.m. @ Icahn Stadium
29 monday
By RUDOLPH MERLIN
As senior Malcolm Hubbell stepped up to the plate to begin the second game of the spring season against Norman Thomas, the noise in Pier 40 turned up another notch. The nucleus of the noise came from the home team dugout, which was filled with animated Peglegs cheering him on. Despite Malcolm reaching the base by a HBP, that was all the Peglegs needed. The final score was a 14-1 rout of Norman Thomas in five quick innings. The bats were busted out early in the game. The top of the first inning saw senior Jared Asch hit a line drive to right field, which brought Hubbell home from second base (who advanced on a wild pitch). Soon after, in the second inning, a single from junior Maximillian Mah, followed by a double from Hubbell, allowed senior Jeremy Rubin to bring home Mah with a single. Junior Owen Potter then pulled one through the gap between second and third to increase their lead to 4-0. Asch followed with a sacrifice fly to end the inning 5-0 in favor of the Peglegs. But the game really broke open in the third inning. After
Asch loaded the bases with a single to left field, junior Cooper Nisenbaum stepped up to the plate and delivered a blast into right-center field. His triple drove three players home and brought out cheers from the spectators and the Peglegs in the dugout. He and Asch would finish the game with four RBIs each. Their success could not have been possible without the top of the order (Hubbell, Rubin, and Potter); they generated the hits necessary to spark the streak of 10 unanswered runs. On the field, Hubbell had a fantastic performance on the mound, striking out six players in two out of three innings. He brought the heat with his fastball, which consistently hit the outside corner; he also showed great chemistry with sophomore catcher Luca Bielski. “All I really had to do was throw strikes, and [Norman Thomas] hit the ball pretty weakly,” Hubbell said. “I was pretty satisfied with the amount of strikes I threw, and I am grateful to my teammates playing defense for making their plays.” If there has been a pattern in the team across the span of seasons, then it is the Peglegs’ ability to produce most of their runs in the span of one inning.
This is what makes the team so dangerous in the AAA Western Division. The Peglegs have already made it count this year. On Wednesday’s game against West 50th Street Campus, senior and center fielder Daniel Kim’s triple in the third inning brought home three valuable runs. The Peglegs would go on to score two more in the inning and would proceed to win the game by a score of 7-4, mainly thanks to their explosive performance in the third. The Stuyvesant boys’ varsity baseball team are off to a 3-0 start. The Peglegs crushed Norman Thomas in their two games with a combined score of 24-1, showcasing their dominance both on the field and at the plate. Ace pitcher Asch had a lights out performance on Opening Day, striking out nine batters in the span of two innings. Then, to finish the job, Rubin was put in relief for the remaining three innings, throwing only 28 pitches. The way the Peglegs are playing shows that they have the ability to go toeto-toe with division rival Beacon High School. If the Peglegs continue their hot streak, then a playoff spot might not be far off in the distance.
Boys’ Varsity Tennis vs. Bronx Science @ 4:00 p.m. @ Pier 40
29 monday
Boys’ Varsity Handball vs. High School of Economics and Finance @ 4:30 p.m. @ Stuy
Professional Sports: NFL 2019 NFL Draft April 25-27
NBA Brooklyn Nets vs. Philadelphia 76ers Saturday, April 20 @ 3:00 p.m. Milwaukee Bucks vs. Detroit Pistons Saturday, April 20 @ 8:00 p.m. Boston Celtics vs. Indiana Pacers Sunday, April 21 @ 1:00 p.m.
Girls’ Softball
Renegades Dominate in Season Opener
Golden State Warriors vs. LA Clippers Sunday, April 21 @ 3:30 p.m.
Zoe Oppenheimer / The Spectator
WRAPUP • • • • • • Continued on Page 21
Tiger Woods wins first major since 2008 at the Masters. Virginia beats Texas Tech in overtime to win the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament. D’Angelo Russell leads the Brooklyn Nets to their first playoff win since 2015 over the Philadelphia 76ers. Luke Walton and the Los Angeles Lakers part ways; Walton is now in line to be the Sacramento Kings’ next head coach. Magic Johnson resigns as general manager of the Los Angeles Lakers. Duke freshman guard RJ Barrett declares for the NBA Draft.
The Spectator ● April 18, 2019
Page 19
“Journalism” Steal His Look School Safety Agents
Mr. Contreras
brioni solid box-weave wool two-piece suit $5,450
givenchy 6.5cm striped silk tie $130
ermenegildo zegna leather oxford shoes $950 ermenegildo zegna blue cotton oxford shirt $345
brioni blue solid dress shirt $291
balenciaga black slimfit cropped cottontwill cargo trousers $785
tom ford metallic silkjacquard tie $235
dunhill rhodium-plated tie bar $295
total: $6,875
Mr. Hanna
christian louboutin trapman boots $1095
total: $2,701
Mr. Papagayo the runwell titanium 41mm $700
lanvin striped silk necktie $145
salvatore ferragamo loafers $575 ysl cotton shirt $725 gucci beige plain wool weave trousers $980
total: $3,125
polo ralph lauren oxford shirt $100 versace winged medusa belt $1,195
total: $1,515
black skinny jeans $220
The Spectator ● April 18, 2019
Page 20
“Journalism” Department Starter Packs news
features
layout
• #nosleepgang • #layoutdungeon • “Can we have a work day in class? Complains about work but never does it
photo
• “Can this be off the record??” • “I don’t have any ideas :(” • *11:59 p.m.* “Can I get an extension, please?”
humor
sports
• Editors are so incompetent that they used Helena Williams to make it. • Only publishes libel and slander • Makes SoundCloud music in spare time • Writers forced to look at memes an hour a day to get article inspiration • And yet the writing is still subpar. I’ve seen Doraemon fanfiction better than stuff this department produces. • Four editors doing the work of half an editor • Supposedly encourages creative writing, but how am I supposed to apply that on my Gern essay? Talk about how everything we’ve read this year is a representation of the rise of communist IHOPs? Absolutely preposterous. • Has a sophomore editor who should probably be a junior. Talk about being educated! • Is so pretentious that Spec has not one, but TWO issues dedicated to this department. A__hats.
• Watches sports games in class • “Vinicius Jr. will be the best player in the world by 2019.” • “We can do skill moves.” • Only play non-PSAL sports • Continuously looking for creative ways of saying, “Stuy lost again.”
• “Do NOT touch my camera.” • Lowkey have a crush on National Geographic • And NYT portraits <3 • “Can you please tell Sports to update the whiteboard” It’s not a camera unless it’s DSLR (NO IPHONES). • “Free tickets” but not really • All we really want to do is take artistic landscapes, but apparently Sports needs photos so... • Literally how many Ops writers are there? So sick of portraits.
biz
• Ops wants a podcast mic. • Photos wants a video mic. • Do I know the difference? No. But is there a price difference? YES. • “Will you pay for my water?” • “Will you pay for Spec room renos?” • One of the least appreciated departments
The Spectator ● April 18, 2019
Page 21
“Journalism” Department Starter Packs (cont’d) ops • Will major in political science and nothing else • “Piggybacking off of that…” • Hates Trump but writes every article about him • Climate change, climate change, climate change • Did Debate, quit because we were too lazy to do research • Has NYT subscription, goes on Facebook instead • Thinks political knowledge will get them to Harvard • Wasted parents’ life savings on MacBook but only uses it for Google Docs
art
• ^^ Last-minute art requests be like • ““Please remember to follow the correct titling format.”
copy expectation
web
• one-man department • “We should just fly planes instead; it’ll be more productive.” • “Why does this article have [a]s in it?” • Oops, the server crashed again.
reality
EICs • “Do y’all have news?” • “We NEED to send tonight.” • You’re all the departments. • “Does anyone want to write the staff ed?” • Layout is your best friend. • Complaining about work but not starting until it’s the night layout has to send (sorry, layout) • The handy dandy Stuyle Guide • Having tough skin (and shame) for when other editors pick on us for our tiny mistakes (we’re sorry for being such disappointments) • Getting used to the feeling of joy at finishing all the articles being crushed by th`e notification of another incoming article at 2:30 a.m. in the morning • Dying of boredom and falling asleep when the Opinions department writes a whole textbook • Trying to force a laugh at the Humor articles but the most that comes out is a grimace (except for the occasional funny ones)
a&e • Funnier than Humor, more current than News, more interesting than Opinions, funner than EICs • The only section people read (@Sports) • Starts beef with every other department (mostly Jacqueline’s doing) • Least politically knowledgeable • “Where’s Thomas?” • Buys matching shirts • Cultured af • Ben Stiller aka SmoothDaddy fan club • Physical representations of the SpongeBob meme text • Water connoisseurs
Page 22
The Spectator ● April 18, 2019
“Journalism” Water You On?! Dissolved in Water,” “Shy Watermelon,” and most excitingly, “Imagine Like, a Strawberry but with a Low Battery.”
out Fiji, there would be no refreshing pH 7.7 goodness in a fun bottle and without that, I might have to (God forbid) drink regular H2O.
Évian
Aquafina
A strong scent of privilege wafts from this water, but that’s about it. Yes, Évian is one of the few waters in mass distribution that meets the World Health Organization standards for drinking water quality, but I’d rather have a refreshing chug of the possibly pesticide-filled Poland Spring than experience the smooth, milky texture of Évian, which you can get for free by traveling to the Cachat Spring in Évian-lesBains, France by the way. To think that I would pay $1.89 per 16.9-oz bottle of exactly pH 7 water is preposterous. There’s a reason why Évian is “naive” spelled backwards.
Aquafina’s popularity only comes from the fact that it’s the only “sugary” drink available in Stuyvesant’s vending machines besides the coconut bubble water mineral soda beverages. While great to drink when thirsty, Aquafina loses its appeal soon after with its slightly metallic aftertaste. Aquafina is best served cool but it’s not on par with the coolness of Awkwafina.
Rumor has it that The Spectator’s Co-Editor-inChief Artem Ilyanok drinks exclusively boiled water in his one of five S’well bottles. It is very likely that boiled water has some side effects, however, because not only does Ilyanok dislike iced tea, but he also looks upon undistilled tap water with distaste. We tried boiled water and it tastes like garbage.
Dasani
Cactus Water
It’s basically the same thing as Aquafina. Everything is the same thing as Aquafina. My life is Aquafina. I taste the Dasani again. It is tasteless. Everything is tasteless. I cannot find taste in my life. The Dasani is so tasteless that I can taste my dinner from the Popeyes I ate last night, without anyone to even Snap it to. Wait. I can taste something. The overwhelming taste of salt streams down my face. It is an unpleasant sensation, but nonetheless it is something I can taste. Thank you, Dasani.
“Crikey, it’s spikey!” —Oliver Yankel Chaney Stewart
Tap Water Three words. Crunchy. Sensational. A-good-conversation-starter. Voss By JACQUELINE THOM, EMMA LINDERMAN, JIAHE WANG and DARIUS JANKAUSKAS
sult a wine review website to write this.
Poland Spring
Overall, a refreshing and tranquil experience. Some may argue that it tastes just like any other kind of water, but that is simply the fault of their inexperienced tongue sensors. In fact, when drinking Smart Water, one can taste the electrolytes that are boldly advertised on the bottle. The electrolytes are actually so strong that they can easily charge your AirPods in a few minutes while you’re wearing them. Another added bonus: the nozzle at the top of the bottle adds some zest to the drinking journey. If anyone has seen an upward trend in their grades after drinking Smart Water, please let us know.
Poland Spring is the clear winner. A crowd-pleaser, it has all the qualities that you want in water. Dab on the haters who say that Poland Spring is for normies. Popular things are popular for a reason. This brand doesn’t try to attract customers by launching campaigns with sexy Instagram influencers sipping bottled water on the beach—the quality of the water itself proves everything. Wonderfully crisp, refreshing, and sharp, it doesn’t have any odd aftertastes like many other water brands do. The palate is strong and elegant, evocative of the beautiful natural springs in Maine where the water is sourced from. Take a small sip of the ice-cold water, either sparkling or flat, and you will be instantly transported into the wilderness, surrounded by roaring waters and rabid bears. Overall, its structure and versatility make it perfect paired with any type of food—be it Rafiqi’s chicken over rice, Ferry’s tuna melt sandwich, or the sushi platter from Whole Foods. And yes, I really do love Poland Spring enough to con-
By NEIL SARKAR and JAKOB GORISEK-GAZZE
Smart Water
LaCroix Woe to the non-millennials who drink this. According to Wikileaks, LaCroix is in fact pronounced “LaCroix,” not “LaCroix” like the peasants say it, with the drink’s only ingredient being gentrified water. Fear not if your tastebuds need tingling, however, because LaCroix has recently announced the release of several new flavors including “Hint of Hint of Lime,” “Single Skittle
The Voss bottle is minimalist and reflects the lowkey goodness of the water within. The brand prides itself on having an ultra-clean product from the depths of Norway where the water is most likely fertilized by the remains of Vikings of centuries past. Compliant with American, Norwegian, and international standards of water quality, Voss still manages to taste and feel like actual water reminiscent of Poland Spring but just that much more fresh. The beverage also comes in glass bottles, further testifying to the quality of the independent laboratory tests on the “finished bottle water product” because no one uses glass if they don’t have to. Fiji While it is questionable whether Fiji water is actually from the Fiji islands, it certainly tastes as naturally artesian as the brand boasts. Even at room temperature, the water remains chilled and refreshing. I could easily drink this and not choke to death after having just run up from the second to 10th floor for drafting, which I (unfortunately) wasn’t able to push to senior year. The fame of Fiji water, however, comes from the Fiji water girl at the Oscars earlier this year. Without her, there would be no Fiji. With-
Arizona While Arizona might be better known for its sensual, smooth, cool iced teas, its water offers a remarkably innovative take on dihydrogen monoxide. From the very first sip through the smooth, pacifier-like nozzle, the drinker is brought back to simpler, purer times: when her back wasn’t broken by a backpack two times bigger than she is, but instead she stayed outside from dawn to dusk on their summer days, playing pick-me-up basketball or ding-dong ditch, when it was so hot that the only source of water dripped from air conditioners and you stood underneath, lapping each and every drop as your last connection to life. The mineral-infused Arizona Vapor Water brings back these simpler times; the water hints at a hidden complexity, the subtle yet strangely metallic aftertaste elevating the water not as mere rehydration serum, but as the nectar of life, imperfect but nonetheless worth a $1.59 purchase. Boxed Water Despite the bad rap it
gets, boxed water is surprisingly normal. There is nothing distinguishing it from regular tap water except that there is an extra hydrogen molecule in boxed water. Boiled Water
Starbucks Water It’s nice to know that in my most desperate moments of thirst, everyone’s favorite small, independent, and locally-run business will provide me with complimentary water. Whether it be on a boiling New York City summer day or at 11:00 p.m. at night in Times Square (don’t ask), I can always count on Starbucks to brew me a rejuvenating cup of H2O. Consumer warning: this item is on the top secret menu that can only be found on Twitter threads. To quote the aforementioned threads, “when u get 2 the front of the line, just be like ‘can i get uh just like...a cup of water.’” Pool Water In the midst of the 201920 presidential campaigns, I’ve been really thinking about the benefits of drinking pool water. Since I was but a wee freshman, I have always remembered the fevered pool rituals that Mr. Bologna would perform every B day but always dismissed them as some watery hoo-ha. I have seen the truth now. There is a reason children often play in the pool during lazy summer afternoons. Unbeknownst to us, pools are the fountains of youth. They are the givers of life! Raise your arms up with me as we yield our bodies to the great water deities. Aquaman! Poseidon! Aquarius! Take my soul and relieve it of its impurities! Wash away my sins as I yell “BEGONE THOT” and jump into the pool and drink its chlorinated goodness to my heart’s content.
Stuyvesant Has Tea With Kung Fu Tea
Kung Fu Tea closed its doors for the last time on March 15. Stuyvesant students were devastated by the demise of their favorite hangout spot. “It’s a travesty,” freshman Bob A said. “How else can I come to Spanish class 15 minutes late with my matcha milk tea with bubbles?” The closure of the bubble tea shop has caused a variety of other problems at Stuyvesant, with many students suffering from bubble tea withdrawal symptoms. Teachers and nursing staff have petitioned Prin-
cipal Eric Contreras for tea therapy, citing difficulties in teaching a class full of more-depressed-than-normal students. “I can’t teach my class about the tragedy of Macbeth if the only thing they find tragic is the lack of bubble tea!” English teacher Alicia Pohan said, while consoling a tear-ridden sophomore. Contreras has been adamantly against such measures, calling them “costly” and a “complete waste of time.” “They can just go to Jupioca. It’s better anyway,” he said in a statement this Monday. Jupioca, Kung Fu Tea’s rival tea vendor, has seen a
boom in business as students who, with no other alternative, have turned to them for their tea fix. Jupioca’s tea sales have risen between 25 and 50 percent in the last week. Despite their increased business, the shop has recently made the controversial decision to raise tea prices by $2 and bubble prices by $0.50, a 69 percent price difference from Kung Fu Tea. Jupioca CEO Michael Bubblé promised to “maintain [their] excellent quality despite rising costs” (a deAscription disputed by Stuyvesant students) in a statement on Tuesday but declined to elaborate when
contacted by The Spectator. The controversy surrounding Jupioca has come alongside accusations of foul play in the closing of Kung Fu Tea. Reports from an anonymous source have highlighted a conspiracy to replace the latter’s milk with mayonnaise in order to force a closing due to health code violations. Additionally, rumors of “evil laughter” from Jupioca in the evenings leading up to March 15 have spread among students. “I heard it! It was, like, super scary!” junior Eve Dropper said. Additional suspicions have arisen over Contreras’s involvement in the conspiracy, citing his staunch defense of
Jupioca’s success. Contreras was not available for comment on these accusations. We suspect he is preparing for a job interview at Jupioca’s corporate headquarters. The Student Union has planned a protest against the closing of Kung Fu Tea on April 20. The Spectator endorses the protest. Sophomores and Co-Editors of the Spectator News department Maddy Andersen and Erin Lee, along with Student Union Vice President Vishwaa Sofat, recently checked in on Facebook at Hanco’s Bubble Tea & Vietnamese Sandwich to sample new flavors and raise awareness about the plight of Kung Fu Tea.
The Spectator ● April 18, 2019
Page 23
Endorsements Peter Tam and Ted Kuke continued from page 2 -tion, and it is unclear how this financial aid would differ from typical allocations. Aside from embryonic policy, the campaign has also failed to release their website, putting them at a significant disad-
vantage in terms of outreach. Campaign promotion via social media was also rather lacking: the Tam-Kuke campaign did not create social media pages to adequately promote its policies on platforms such as Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat. They have instead relied on posters and word
of mouth, ineffective ways of spreading their campaign. Additionally, the Tam-Kuke campaign has also been hindered by persistent controversy over comments made by Kuke during his freshman year. Kuke has apologized for such comments, many of which have since been deleted from Face-
book. However, some students have still expressed concerns. In an assured pitch to voters, the Tam-Kuke campaign implores them to “vote new, vote bold, vote fair.” Indeed, a vote for the Tam-Kuke campaign would be bold: though Tam and Kuke have proposed some intriguing policies, many
of them are underdeveloped and questionable in terms of feasibility. The Spectator admires the effort Tam and Kuke put into their campaign and commends them for their foray into student politics, but ultimately declines to endorse their candidacy.
Sleazoids: A Nonsensical Campaign in Disarray Platform: 2/5 Sleazoids’ platform has a few policies with legitimate merit, such as initiative and referendum, but it consists largely of far-fetched policies without any feasibility or value, such as the experimental dating club or the teacher coefficient. Kahan did not show up to his interview to further elaborate on any of his policies and his Vice President Yan could not explain them, since they were all independently proposed by him without any consultation with his campaign.
Matt Melucci / The Spectator
Record: 2/5 Neither candidate has any SU or other experience; Kahan has cited his grades (“i have a higher GPA, Im smart. I don’t need experience to do basic stuff.”) but this paper does not consider that a qualification for public office. While experience is not necessarily needed for a strong campaign, there is a clear lack of knowledge of the SU that borders on total ignorance.
By THE SPECTATOR EDITORIAL BOARD Junior Caleb Kahan and sophomore Chelsea Yan, going by the unusual non-portmanteau “Sleazoids,” are running for the Student Union (SU) on a far-fetched and largely incoherent platform. Their campaign, meanwhile, is a shambles, bereft of leadership or communication. Kahan’s implications of SU corruption at the debate bordered on slanderous, such that Matthew Polazzo, the SU’s Coordinator of Student Affairs, had to intervene to stop him. Kahan did not show up to the agreed-upon Spectator interview, and Ms. Yan described to us a campaign in which Kahan wakes wild campaign and policy decisions without consulting or over the protests of other members of the campaign. The campaign was unusual from the start: Kahan, appearing not to care about his partner on the ticket, chose Yan to be his running mate from a random lottery of sophomores who asked to be considered in the comments of a Facebook post, filming the creation of the code he wrote to randomly select a candidate. Hours after being chosen, Yan posted on Facebook asking if she was “a meme” and whether she should “become more of a meme,” a question that she confirmed in our interview was asked in reference to her choice to run with Kahan. Sleazoids released a puzzling platform that was a combination of the far-fetched (an “SU Teacher Coefficient” that would give students with unusually low-grading teachers an extra boost to their grade), the vague and unclear (“Naviance but for summer programs”), and the bizarre (“Experimental dating club”).
The platform seemed poorlyprepared, filled with half-sentences with minimal fleshingout of policies (notably, the eyebrow-raising experimental dating club’s entire explanation was “not much that could be said here”). The centerpiece of the campaign is not a bad idea: Sleazoids would create an official channel for students to create petitions to the SU, and, given enough signatures, bring about referenda. It’s true that, though the SU website has a contact section, it can be difficult for students to reach out and work to make change from outside the SU. And in our interview, Yan said that this policy had been what had attracted her to the campaign. But on its own, the referendum proposal is insufficient and does not constitute substantive policy. Similarly, Sleazoids’ platform calls for the creation of a biweekly referendum, given 200 petition signatures, to fire the SU President, a policy that seems more likely to create instability and disrupt progress than make the SU more accountable. SU elections are held every year, with the Vice President usually running for President; students dissatisfied with the SU can refuse to vote in incumbents. In the unlikely event of a truly incompetent SU President, the SU Constitution has impeachment procedures. At the SU Debate, Kahan made grandiose claims— “We’re going to be the most transparent SU administration in the history of SU administrations,” he said, without offering any indication that he had done the research necessary to make that claim. He also lied about the SU’s public budgetary information, claiming that the only information the SU makes public is its
starting and ending budget. In fact, The Spectator published a more detailed breakdown of the SU’s budget in January (Issue 9). And while his point that the SU ought to release its full budget, no matter how convoluted and impossible to read it may be, was a valid one, his line of inquiry toward the Visian campaign on that point—“Let’s say you bought a MacBook with that money; I see a lot of people in the SU have MacBooks”— bordered on slanderous, to the point that Polazzo had to step in, warning Kahan, “You have the right to make any accusations you want to, but I think I would think carefully before using those words.” He explained that SU spending is tightly overseen by the administration, and that the idea that the SU is a hotbed of embezzlement is patently absurd. Kahan also openly dismissed Yan out of hand, saying, “I actually don’t know what the purpose of a Vice President is, so….” The purpose of the interview is to allow The Spectator to get a sense of the candidates’ characters and leadership qualities and to flesh out details of their platform that may be unclear, which was especially a necessity with the Sleazoids campaign. We were largely unable to do the latter for Sleazoids because Kahan simply did not come to our pre-scheduled interview; only Yan showed up. Mr. Kahan asked as we were beginning to interview Ms. Yan if he should come back, saying that he would be able to get to the interview in a little under a half hour; we told him that he could if he wanted to and that we had already started, and he declined to come. While the interview did little to clear up any policy questions, it was extraordinarily enlightening as to
Campaign: 1/5 The campaign labels itself the “Sleazoids,” implies that SU incumbents may have committed serious financial felonies, and appears to be running as a Quixotic one-man operation over the protests of its own campaign managers and Vice Presidential candidate, the latter of whom was chosen by lottery. Again, Kahan did not show up to his interview.
character and leadership. Throughout the interview, we repeatedly asked Yan to expand on various details of the platform, only to have her tell us that she and the campaign managers had told Kahan to back down on certain policies, and that he had refused. For instance, when we asked her about the experimental dating club, she said, “I’ll talk to him again, because I talked to him last night about how we should not mention this during the debate today, but he was like ‘experimental dating club,’ so I wasn’t able to stop him.” This was a recurring pattern throughout the interview: “I’ve been trying to have personal meetings with him where everyone’s there and we talk to him, but when we talk to him online he doesn’t seem to listen to us that much. That’s something we’re trying to work on, communication within the team.” When we asked her point-blank if Kahan simply doesn’t listen, she said that she believes he does. However, everything else she said painted a clear picture of a campaign led by a candidate acting unilaterally and over the objections of everyone else involved in the campaign. She said, for instance, that Kahan had changed his position on impeachment procedure before the debate and without warning anyone: “Today in the debate he talked about 100 signatures and the chance of the SU President being impeached every two weeks, and this is not what we talked about before the debate.” A good leader listens seriously to his or her advisers, seeking out other opinions and receiving them with humility and open ears. Kahan seems to be doing the
opposite of that. The most upsetting instance of this came at the end of the interview, when we asked a question about one of Sleazoids’ posters. The poster in question read, “Coffee gal? Incel? Intern-Wannabe? Vote Sleazoids!”, presumably in reference to the campaign’s proposals to install coffee machines in the cafeteria, to “Naviance but for summer programs,” and to the experimental dating club. When we asked Yan what comment she had to offer on her campaign actively reaching out to a movement widely seen as misogynistic and dehumanizing, she answered that not only did she not know about the poster, she hadn’t heard of the incel movement, and she expressed frustration that Kahan had apparently put up the poster without putting it in the shared campaign Google Drive or consulting with anyone else on the campaign. Watching her reaction as we explained the incel movement was both upsetting and part and parcel with the rest of the interview. It should be noted that many Kahan-Yan posters, including the one described above, were taken down by administration, as several were deemed inappropriate, and ten innocent posters were taken down by staff who assumed the campaign was a joke. However, Mr. Moran and Mr. Contreras did apologize for taking down the posters and gave Kahan the use of the school’s copy machines. Thus, The Spectator is not endorsing the “Sleazoids” ticket, as they lack professionalism, internal communication, leadership, and a campaign with practicality or merit.
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The Spectator ● April 18, 2019
Featured Opinions Tucker Carlson’s Latest Controversy is His Own Fault By JONATHAN SCHNEIDERMAN Whataboutism is a helluva
a drug, and when it comes to grotesque bigotry, there would seem to be nothing for respectable conservatives like a good high. Fox News primetime host and noted believer in the Great American Melting Pot Tucker Carlson is in hot water again, but this time it’s not for calling immigrants a “dirty” influence in America; instead, it’s for decade-old comments published by liberal organization Media Matters. Between 2006 and 2011, Carlson called women “primitive” and Iraqis “semiliterate primitive monkeys,” joked about supporting middle school teachers having sex with students, and defended Warren Jeffs, who is currently serving a life sentence in Texas for arranging and facilitating child rape, on the grounds that he had not personally raped any children (never mind that Jeffs had previously been accused by several nephews—one of whom committed suicide after disclosing—of raping them when they were children). The liberal reaction was predictably and deservingly fierce. #BoycottTuckerCarlson trended on Twitter, and even more advertisers left Carlson’s show. The usual suspects―liberal op-ed columnists at Vice, Rolling Stone, and The Washington Post―swiftly penned condemnatory columns, even calling for the cancellation of Carlson’s shows. But conservatives have taken a stunningly defensive and unapologetic stance. Carlson himself issued a statement on Twitter, refusing to “express the usual ritual contrition,” casting himself as just another player in the marketplace of ideas, and dismissing the whole
situation as “Media Matters [having] caught [him] saying something naughty on a radio show more than a decade ago,” he said. When asked by Rolling Stone for comment, Fox just referred to Carlson’s statements. This should go without saying, but what Carlson said was a whole lot more than “naughty.” If Media Matters had unearthed Carlson’s decade-old raunchy Reagan-Thatcher fanfiction (this writer is happy to inform you, gentle reader, that no such fanfiction exists to his knowledge, nor could it exist; Thatcher at her most prominent was far too old for Carlson’s tastes), that would have been “naughty.” What Carlson said was deeply racist and misogynistic, and disturbingly so. “Semi-literate primitive monkeys” is the sort of language one expects to hear from David Duke, not the host of 2018’s third most watched television news program. Given Carlson’s history, neither the unearthed comments nor his responses are surprising. Carlson is fairly beloved by white supremacists, a prominent one of whom has called his hour “basically Daily Stormer: The Show” (the Daily Stormer is one of the most visited neo-Nazi sites on the internet). And Fox News has built a brand on being unapologetic about bigotry. The network hasn’t given anyone any reason to expect any better from them. Far more disappointing has been the response from conservatives closer to the center. National Review’s David French, a leading voice of the “principled conservative” movement that claims to stand for real values rather than whatever nonsense Donald Trump is tweeting at any given moment, came out the day after Media Mat-
ters’s dump with an impassioned defense of Carlson, characterizing him as the victim of a “fake outrage mob.” Instead of focusing on Carlson’s racism and sexism, French decided to focus on the fact that Media Matters had even tried to look into Carlson’s past comments in the first place. Media Matters, he argued, is nothing more than an anti-conservative smear job organization, didn’t really caring about Carlson’s comments except as a way to take him down. French is probably right about that. Media Matters’ goals look pretty ideology-driven, and the organization is hardly consistent. Other parts of his argument fail on the merits―he points out, for instance, that no one was paying attention to Carlson’s comments when they were first made―but it certainly doesn’t look like Media Matters wants to be an impartial watchdog of media, scrutinizing equally figures on the left and the right. But that shouldn’t matter. French’s claim that the response to Carlson’s comments has been not one of genuine offense but rather “one of vengeful glee” shouldn’t be true because he and other conservatives ought to be deeply offended. Instead, French brushed aside Carlson’s comments as banal, and despite claiming in a later tweet that he “did not defend Carlson’s words,” he did just that, writing that Carlson had just said “shocking things to a shock jock” and that far more dangerous than Carlson’s words is the culture of “ideological search-and-destroy missions” like Media Matters. I will admit that, as a liberal, a part of me played the GIF of John Oliver announcing “We got him!” But what struck me was the depravity of Carlson’s
words, which should be enough to strike the conscience of any nonracist, liberal, or conservative. First, it bears repeating that Carlson didn’t just say something racy or taboo. He called Iraqis monkeys. Had he said something else about Iraqis—and I wanted to say that it was very racist—I might say that it was as bad as calling Iraqis monkeys. That’s how bad calling Iraqis monkeys is. That would be enough to mark him as detestable on its own, but he also defended the facilitation of child rape, about the second-worst thing one can do, on the grounds that it was not itself child rape—the absolute worst thing one can do. Even if it were true that search-and-destroy missions are more dangerous than racist comments from powerful people, this particular case is one of such a mission uncovering truly vile beliefs from an influential figure. That he was vilely bigoted on shock-jock radio doesn’t dull the vile bigotry. The fact that one has made offensive remarks in an offensive arena does not excuse those offensive remarks. It is the case that context matters, but there are limits to when and how context can function as an excuse. Actor Edward Norton, for instance, has said extraordinarily racist and anti-Semitic things, but no one thinks badly of him for that because he said them while playing a neo-Nazi in a movie. Tucker Carlson, however, was deeply racist—not as a racist character but as himself in a space where racism was excused. That doesn’t mean we should excuse it. Of course, there will be the “that was a decade ago, and those comments don’t really represent him” arguments. Right off the bat, it is curious that this standard applies to Fox News anchors and
presidents, but not Muslim congresswomen. Additionally, Carlson was in his mid-30s when he made the offending comments. Though 2006 is a fair while ago, 37 is too old to claim the Young and Foolish card. And the comments are hardly a shocker―they just provide context to Carlson’s nightly antiimmigrant rhetoric. Second, when it comes to highprofile Fox News personalities, we absolutely should be conducting search-and-destroy missions. Fox News, as has been revealed over the past few years, is a cesspool of sexual misconduct, with a toxic culture of misbehavior and the enabling thereof stemming from the very top. Everyone who has power in the organization should be investigated. If the organization doing the investigating is doing so in bad faith, that’s unfortunate, but it doesn’t challenge the investigation’s results. This particular investigation, whatever the motives behind it, found that Tucker Carlson said― once again, and without embellishment, because it’s not needed to emphasize the awfulness―that Iraqis are “semi-literate primitive monkeys,” that women are “primitive,” and that criminalizing the facilitation of child marriage as child sexual assault is “[EXPLETIVE].” The jump from that information to “Ah, but how did we come to know this?” is some quite remarkable sleight of hand, but it shouldn’t fool anyone. Tucker Carlson is intensely, incontrovertibly racist. He is intensely, incontrovertibly sexist. He has intensely, incontrovertibly disgusting views on child sexual assault. There is a line between having a healthy marketplace of ideas and giving platforms to racists. Deplatforming works. It’s time for
Equality for Most: The Taint of Anti-Semitism on Activism by Maya Dunayer The recent uptick in antiSemitism across the world ought to alarm us. Neo-Nazis marched at Charlottesville, Virginia in 2017 in an open display of hatred, intolerance, and bigotry. Last year, many countries witnessed an explosion of antiSemitic attacks and incidents, such as graveyard vandalism, bomb threats, and even a mass shooting at a Pittsburgh synagogue. When looking for the causes and sources of such a harmful ideology, many experts consider the usual suspects: online forums, fake headlines, and cult leader-like media personalities. One place where most do not look, though, is the modern progressive movement. Much attention has recently been given to the Women’s March and the progress that it has made in women’s rights advocacy. However, the deeprooted veins of anti-Semitism buried in the movement’s foundations have by and large been ignored. Recent accusations by Jewish activist Vanessa Wruble have shed light on the antiSemitic comments made by
other organizers of the march. Wruble alleges that during a private meeting, key leaders of the Women’s March referred to Jews as “your [Wruble’s] people,” she said. She also claimed that Jews have a special responsibility to aid black and brown people as their historic oppressors. The co-president of the Women’s March, Tamika Mallory, has also thrown her public support behind the leader of the Nation of Islam, Louis Farrakhan, who is notoriously anti-Semitic and has made comments such as “the powerful Jews are my enemy.” As alarming as the antiSemitism of its leaders is, the Women’s March is not the only movement influenced by such ideologies. In France, the Yellow Vests—a group fighting for economic equality—has been involved with several anti-Semitic incidents and figures who lend credence to the movement’s critics. As an elderly Jewish man left his home in France, several men wearing the signature yellow vest costumes barraged him with insults, yelling “Zionist piece of [EXPLETIVE],” “dirty race,” and “go back to Tel Aviv.” A recent
study by the IFOP international polling firm found that 44 percent of self-identified Yellow Vests believe in the existence of a “worldwide Zionist plot.” Perhaps more alarmingly, 22 percent of the general French population also believe in similar anti-Semitic conspiracy theories, such as the idea that the Jews control the government. Another advocacy group that has been gaining more and more support in college campuses around the U.S. is the Boycott, Divestment, Sanctions, Movement (BDS Movement), which targets Israel. Thus, it accordingly targets the Jews for their handling of the Israel-Palestine conflict. These movements portray Israel as “white,” “colonialist,” and an “oppressor state” that has created an “apartheid regime” in Palestine. This view creates increased tensions against Jews, and as an authoritative observer who testified before Congress in 2018 said, “[I]n the past several years, Jewish students on certain college campuses—not all, but a large number—have been subjected to unprecedented levels of anti-Jewish sentiment, leading many to feel
uncomfortable participating in Jewish campus life or other campus activities [which] participants are especially hostile to Jewish students.” Even worse is the fact that because the antiSemitism in the BDS is masked under the guise of fighting for Palestinian rights, civil rights groups such as the Southern Poverty Law Center turn a blind eye, allowing anti-Semitism to grow ever more prominent. The anti-Semitism of these movements is extremely unsettling and cannot be allowed to continue. Such causes, no matter how progressive or righteous in their advocacy, must not be allowed to publicly promote hateful and ignorant ideologies. Well-known antiSemites like Louis Farrakhan should be vigorously opposed until a serious discussion about combating anti-Semitism can take place with all parties at the table. In addition, the Jewish people must create their own activist groups that fight against inequality without perpetrating anti-Semitism. There are groups that exist for Jews advocating for Jewish causes, such as the United Jewish Association (UJA) and the Jewish Commu-
nity Relations Council, but it is important for Jews to advocate for causes that don’t necessarily revolve around them. By creating their own advocacy groups, Jews can boycott those groups that do include anti-Semitic elements, and they can take a stand against this inequality that is present. It is also important to call these groups out for their anti-Semitism directly, rather than kicking it under the carpet. Anti-Semitism is not always as prominent or as obvious as it was in Charlottesville. Sometimes, as in the case of the Women’s March and the Yellow Vests, it lurks behind closed doors. The presence of antiSemitism, however hidden, endangers the Jewish people daily, for it sets the precedent that we should not be accepted. What’s more, it implies that we are not worthy of fighting against discrimination, alienating us from causes that we would otherwise support. It is hypocritical to talk about fighting for equality while discriminating against an entire religion, for equality for most is not equality at all.