Fraternities and sororities are a staple of American college education, but to continue the practices of these Greek life institutions, several safety concerns need to be addressed.
Having an underprepared country like Qatar host the World Cup was a human rights disgrace that should have been foreseen by FIFA. see page 28
Stuyvesant’s Model United Nations club (MUN) competed at its first in-person collegiate competition in three years at Brown University’s Model United Nations (BUSUN) on the weekend of November 11. Before the COVID-19 pandemic, delegates went to several collegiates, which provided them with the ability to hone their skills while bonding with one another. Despite having to accommodate virtual tournaments during the pandemic, the recent trip to Brown University represents a shift back to in-person conferences.
At the event, Stuyvesant’s delegates received several notable awards. Seniors Danielle Que and Andrey Sokolov won Best Delegate awards, junior Arshia Mazumder and sophomore Alexander Panas won Outstanding Delegate awards, and junior Ty Anant and sophomore Walker Simpson won Honorable Delegate and a verbal commen-
dation, respectively.
However, the return to an inperson conference posed many challenges. “It took us a month
to work with the school administration because the DOE [Department of Education] now has policies saying that you have
to have a trip plan before you can deposit any money or pay for anything related to the trip,” senior and Under Secretary of
Stuyvesant’s social studies department held the 2022 Midterm Mock Election on November 3, 2022. Organized by social studies teacher Linda Weissman, the election allowed the student body to vote on candidates for the Senate and House of Representatives, as well as on laws, during the first five minutes of their scheduled social studies classes. The ballot closed at 10:00 a.m. on November 4, and the results of the mock election were announced on November 7.
In summary, the results of the mock election skewed heavily to the left. Chuck Schumer and Kathy Hochul, both Democrats, got 81.5 percent of the vote for the Senate race and 67.6 percent of the vote for New York State (NYS) Governor, respectively. Democrats Antonio Delgado (NYS Lieutenant Governor), Thomas P. DiNapoli (Comptroller), and Letitia James (Attorney Gen-
eral) all got over 70 percent of votes. Referendums including the Environmental Bond Measure, Racial Equity Office, and Charter Preamble Amendment all received over 80 percent in favor.
dates, made a nice little packet, and sent them to each student a few weeks before. We involved every social studies teacher,” Weissman said. “We sent them a packet in case they wanted to share it with the class and talk
was due to the introduction of a virtual voting system. “The turnout rate was higher than we expected, with a little over 50 percent of the school voting,” senior Erica Li, who was one of the student organizers, said. “Last year [in 2021], the turnout was much lower.”
After official midterm results were released, students felt that Stuyvesant’s mock election reflected the actual elections.
“In the mock election, representative Lee Zeldin received 32.4 percent of the vote for Governor of New York in a traditionally liberal electorate,” sophomore Muhib Muhib said.
“It just so happens that Zeldin lost by five points, one of the closest results in New York in a long time. So the mock election, you could say, foreshadowed the actual election results.”
Administration Danielle Que said. “The school administration through no fault of their own [kept] telling us, ‘We need that form from you, we need that list from you.’ It was just that we kept getting new information.”
MUN also faced difficulties gaining chaperones to supervise the trip. “There was a baby boom [during COVID], so a lot of teachers have kids now, [and] they don’t really have the time to be chaperones,” Que said. “I don’t think it was COVID necessarily; it was just the effects of COVID.”
Despite these challenges, many delegates found the process of competing to be very enjoyable and worthwhile. “It is very clear everyone felt a sense of happiness over going to things like the Delegate Social,” senior and Upper Secretariat member Jerry Yang said. “Even though we had been virtually for the previous two years, the vibe of this BUSUN was very dif-
continued on page 2
The second marking period ended on December 2. Report cards will be distributed electronically on December 13.
Principal Seung Yu, Assistant Principal Brian Moran, and members of Stuyvesant’s safety committee presented on emergency protocols, provided tips for safety for students, and addressed concerns and questions at the school community Safety Workshop on December 5 over Zoom.
Stuyvesant’s Holiday Choral Concert is on December 9.
Senior Eugene Yoo was a semifinalist in the 2022 Coca-Cola Scholarship.
Prior to the election, students were given a document prepared by Weissman’s AP Government students, detailing all candidates’ contact information, policies, political affiliations, and political backgrounds. “We put together information on each of the candi-
about the election.”
Around 400 freshmen, 600 sophomores, 500 juniors, and 400 seniors participated in the mock election. Though the number of students who voted only represented a fraction of the student population, this year’s increase in voter turnout
Some teachers shared the same sentiment of how the mock election results were a good indicator of the actual election, showing a general shift in the political landscape in Stuyvesant and New York City (NYC). “Lee Zeldin [doing] as
Freshman Tashfia Diha was published in the New York Public Library magazine for her poem “Filled to the Brim.”
The College Office handbook for the class of 2024 was released on November 18.
icantly improved team cohesion and enthusiasm within MUN.
ferent. Debate was able to have more depth because of the longer time frame and varied topics of the conference, and it was great to be leading a once-again mobile club.”
“In our trip to Brown, I really felt that we built a sense of camaraderie while talking to each other about our experiences during our respective committees,” junior Kyle Hon Chan said.
portunity to display their skills. “I was really impressed with everyone who attended the conference,” senior and Secretariat General Ethan Wong said. “In almost every case, I saw people try their hardest to research the ins and outs of their topics and absolutely master MUN.”
amount of people that were able to go, and the teacher volunteers who decided to give up their weekends for this. I was surprised by [...] the diverse array of backgrounds.” —Leah Riegal, freshman
The trip also offered many windows and opportunities, from formal to informal, to meet new people. “There was a Delegate Social, where we got really attached to a karaoke machine, the extensive bus rides, which definitely left room for bonding,” freshman Leah Riegal said. “And the intense downpour that left everybody soaked to the bone for sure brought people together. Ten out of ten memorable experiences.”
Many shared the same sentiment that the conference signif-
For some, the BUSUN conference also provided a novel experience. “I didn’t do MUN in middle school and never really did overnight tournaments of any kind,” Riegal said. “I was pretty surprised by the rooming situation, the amount of people that were able to go, and the teacher volunteers who decided to give up their weekends for this. I was surprised by [...] the diverse array of backgrounds.”
Ultimately, the conference was fully coordinated and able to provide the team with the op-
The trip to Brown has left an enduring memory for MUN’s members who look forward to the club’s future events. “While a lot of us were stressed out by the conferences, it was one of the best experiences and a great point in time where we could all chill out and listen to how it was going for everyone else,” Wong said. “It is definitely nice to be back on the road and in-person, [and] we can definitely look forward to more of this in the future.”
“I feel like it’s pretty safe inside school. But maybe not around the school anymore because of all of the accidents and shootings. I commute with a friend now because my parents are kind of paranoid. [For] the last time we had to stand outside the school for an entire period, I didn’t understand why they were taking so long to just figure out if there was something actually wrong with the school. I think they should be able to respond quicker like last year when we had someone call in saying there was a bomb or whatever, and I feel like they responded quicker that time.” —Ana Chen, junior
“I think that a big part of why I am not worried about my safety after these incidents is because I am not informed of what is taking place until after the incident occurs. Most of the time, the school only reports that a threat was made to the school. The Stuyvesant administration could have handled these school safety concerns better. The fire drill that took place during seventh period which developed into an evacuation for the next hour made many students confused about the situation. It would be great if students could be informed about what is happening.” —Anonymous, senior A
“So far, the administration has handled these incidents well by contacting the NYPD [New York Police Department] and letting us know of the incidents. I do prefer if they tell us about the incidents a little bit earlier, especially with the day where we were all evacuated outside for an hour. In terms of keeping student safety as their priority, I think that’s definitely something that they’ve really focused on a lot. They’ve definitely increased their security and the police presence, and that makes me feel more safe when I’m in this school. It’s just a bit frightening that people can randomly come into the school because just [on November 22], there was this guy in front of me, and he was a middle-aged man. He had two lighters in his hand, and he walked into the school and almost [would have] got[ten] the test kits if it weren’t for the scanner ladies.” —Karen Chen, junior
The
President
President
Several
- In the article titled “Stricter Compliance with DOE Fundraising Guidelines Enforced” published in issue 6, there were several errors:
- Jennifer Caruso, mentioned in the article as the “previous Business Manager,” was a school Secretary serving as School Treasurer. She also did not retire, she moved out of state.
- Dina Ingram is Stuyvesant’s first School Business Manager.
- The changes to guidelines mentioned have existed as rules outlined in the Standard Operating Procedures Manual.
- Fundraisers outside of the school are not “limited,” instead, unsupervised sales outside of the school building are permitted by the administration.
“I don’t know much of what’s going on with the safety problems at Stuyvesant because every time they e-mail to clarify after an incident, it’s just like ‘there was a threat,’ but what were they threatening? The people want to know. Also, the administration should never say something is a drill when it’s not. Because the next time you say something is a drill, people won’t know what to think. We’ve all known that schools are not safe places for a while now. I’m not desensitized because I open my phone every morning to see a million things much worse than anything that’s happened here.” —Ryan Colby, freshman
“I think as a city, it’s kind of on the DOE [Department of Education] to figure out a better way to prevent these threats. Also just on the government in general particularly regarding guns, because right now, the Supreme Court is essentially saying ‘no’ to a lot of gun laws that New York attempted to pass. It makes it even more scary since the crime rate is already so high.” —Roy Nisson, senior
“Administration has been handling them the best they can. They have been using the intercom system really extensively. They’ve been emailing the parents. They’ve been emailing us. I’m really glad the principal takes the concerns seriously and addresses them at all. I’m actually surprised how well we’ve been able to follow through with the instructions.” —Andrey Sokolov, senior
“Well, I’ve heard a lot of different things about the recent incidents around Stuy, but I’ve also heard that there has been an increase in threats to the school and call-in threats. I would say, unfortunately, growing up in the city, that’s sort of been part of my whole school career so it doesn’t faze me that much which is, I guess, not very good. I think [the administration is] good at keeping us updated after the fact, but the evacuation two weeks ago where we were just standing outside for an hour and a half, we had no idea what was going on. So I don’t think they handled it very well. But I honestly don’t have a good idea of how they should be handling it.”
Anna Kathawala, senior“It’s concerning that the most information students get is through rumors and social media posts from other students. The administration leaves us in the dark for a lot of things probably because they don’t want any unnecessary hysteria. When we had to stand outside for an entire period, even the staff had no idea what was going on. NYC is pretty crazy but Stuyvesant is tamer than other schools and other places. I’m pretty grateful for that but the amount of threats we have received these past three months alone is concerning.” —Anonymous, senior B
“I was pretty surprised by the rooming situation, the
well as he did even in a place as blue as Stuyvesant shows what actually ended up happening, which is that the Republicans, even though they didn’t capture the governorship, took a number of seats in Congress,” social studies teacher Matt Polazzo said. “There’s increasingly, I think, a rightward move in a lot of New York City residents, even here in Stuy.”
Many attribute the rightward trend in Stuyvesant and NYC to rising crime and violence, especially toward the Asian American community, which makes up a large majority of the student body. “In a lot of people, there’s a perception that the city has gotten more dangerous and that it’s more disorderly. I also believe that a lot of Asian people feel particularly targeted as victims of violence and crime,”
Polazzo said. “I think that the polls we have for the post election have indicated that a lot of Asian communities are trending Republican as a consequence [...] That may not be the entire
ly, I know me and a lot of other people had no idea what’s going on with the elections,” sophomore Prajusha Azeem said. “Politics impacts your everyday life and the rights you have. You
environment, especially for those not politically up-to-date with current events. “I’m not that informed about politics, so in some of the questions I had no idea who to vote for,” soph-
a start for students to familiarize themselves with politics for when they get older. “It’s always nice for students to have an opportunity to voice their opinion about the election, even if it isn’t an actual vote,” Polazzo said. “It is kind of like a practice for voting for real when students are actually old enough to do so.”
story but I think that certainly is one part of it.”
Regardless of election results, many students saw the mock election as an opportunity to further involve themselves in the political world. “Honest-
should be aware of what’s happening in [...] the political world just so you understand what’s going on in current events.”
Furthermore, many students believed the mock election created a very informative
omore Brandon Waworuntu said. “[But the teachers] gave us the document and it was very informative, with each of the politicians and what they do.”
Teachers also acknowledged that the mock election served as
Overall, through hosting the 2022 Stuyvesant Mock Election, teachers expressed the importance of political involvement in the functioning of society, encouraging students to make their opinions count. “Sometimes we fall into a trap of saying that we live in New York, we’re in a blue state, and we don’t need to vote,” Weissman said. “But what I hope we get out of voting is the importance of how local elections, state elections, and national elections make a difference.”
“Politics impacts your everyday life and the rights you have. You should be aware of what’s happening in [...] the political world just so you understand what’s going on in current events.”
—Prajusha Azeem, sophomore
For many students, December marks the end of the year, winter break, and the start of the festivities for all the various holidays the month brings. With these holidays come spending time with family and friends, relaxing, and of course, eating delicious food. Some of these dishes may be take-out from a restaurant, but perhaps the most special ones are the ones prepared by or with family. Take a look at these traditional home annual holiday recipes from students!
Senior Keara O’Donnell’s annual food tradition is making sugar cookies with her family. The recipe was originally found online, but has since been tweaked by her mom. “She likes finding recipes online, but over time, as she makes the recipe each year, she starts to perfect it,” O’Donnell explained. This sugar cookie recipe was one of the first that her mom taught O’Donnell and her brother. “We bought, when I was five, this big bucket of cookie molds,” she recounted. “We use the holiday-related ones, like the ones with a bell in them, and the gingerbread man [to cut out the cookie shapes]. We also like making our own little letters. We make one S for my brother Shawn and one S for Santa.” Some years, O’Donnell attempts more complex shapes. “There’s a TV show, JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, and [last year] I made my gingerbread cookies to kind of look like those characters. They didn’t really look like [them], but it was just so fun,” she recalled.
O’Donnell’s favorite part of the tradition, however, is frosting the cookies “We would just sit around a table with some simple sugar frosting, which is just powdered sugar and a bit of milk. And you just whisk that together and you make the frosting. [...] You can definitely get creative with all the different things,” she described.
Though sugar cookies are a simple recipe, they are special because of how O’Donnell makes it at home. “Besides the fact that it’s more of a classic staple and that when we were younger, we put it under the tree for Santa or things like that, I think it’s just a good way to sort of just keep us together, to keep family together,” she reflected. It’s not a tradition in the cultural sense, she pointed out, but is still an entertaining activity that has endured within her family through the years. “So it’s having that continuity. It’s nice.”
Tang yuan is a little ball of dough with various fillings inside. “There [are] two versions of it. One of them sweet, one of them savory,” Gao explained. Her family makes the savory ones with “wu fa rou” or pork belly. The first step is to make the dough; then, the meat filling is prepared. “My grandma just sits there and dices it [...], then she portions it off into an inch wide ball.”
Next, the dough, held in a big cast iron pot, is rolled out into small cups to hold the filling, which is where Gao and her sister come in to help. “It’s the three of us crowded around a table around a [...] yard wide. And there’s normally flour everywhere,” she said. Gao pointed out that this was her favorite part. “I like rolling it into balls because [though] my hands do hurt after, it’s fun pulling the dough apart and doing this motion,” she remarked as her hands demonstrated the movement. Once the completed tang yuan are all put on trays, Gao’s mom cooks them. “The kitchen gets really hot because now she starts to boil it. My dad usually comes home around that time, like halfway through, and he steals 10 of them [to eat].”
There are a lot of funny moments while making and eating tang yuan. Gao recounted one time when her sister ate twice as much tang yuan as her. “It was amusing because my sister is almost as tall as me, but she’s two years younger, and she manages to eat 20 [tang yuan] while I only ate 10.” Looking back, Gao recognized the importance of these funny memories. “It means a lot [since] most of the time, my sister and I are in a room, doing homework. And making the tang yuan is a good break from that. [...] I’m [also] annoyed with my family kind of often, and making tang yuan is something to laugh about.”
While it’s usually Halpern’s dad, grandma, or aunt that makes the latkes, she and her cousins sometimes help grate the potatoes and onions, which takes up a lot of time. “We have to make an absurd amount of latkes so that we are all satisfied, as latkes are one of our favorite foods,” she said.
After they are finished cooking and the whole house smells like oil comes the best part, according to Halpern—eating. “My favorite part is eating them fresh, in the kitchen before dinner, right when they are out of the pan. When I am with my cousins for Hanukkah and the latkes are made and brought to the table, we all attack the plate as if we have never seen food before.”
Art teacher William Wrigley sees tremendous artistic potential in the Stuyvesant student body, even if the typical Stuyvesant students find themselves more attuned to AP Computer Science than the AP Art Studio course he teaches.
Prior to Stuyvesant, Wrigley taught in a small school in Bushwick, Brooklyn, for nine years. The school had a small body of students and most of them lacked any exposure to the arts. It was here where Wrigley started falling for the purpose of drawing out the artists from within his students. “I had this idea of showing people who didn’t necessarily see themselves as artists, showing them that they could be.” He says he wouldn’t have this opportunity at LaGuardia because students already specialize in an art.
He believes that certain traits of Stuyvesant’s art curriculum can nurture and inspire a budding artist. “In general, if you’re a freshman or sophomore looking for a potential life goal after your Art Appreciation class, look at every single art class. Any hands-on class
allows you to think a little differently,” he pointed out.
Wrigley should know. Back in high school, he was a STEM kid, focused on studying genetics. “And then I took a painting class in 10th grade,” he said. He was fortunate enough to go to a high school with a large art department and had teachers who were happy to help him on the path to attend art school at the Pratt Institute.
At Stuyvesant, Wrigley continues to help students with little exposure to the arts. “I’m trying to pay forward what was given to me,” he explained. Working as an art teacher at Stuyvesant and teaching AP Art Studio to hesitant STEM students with artistic potential lets Wrigley draw a full circle. “I was somebody who stumbled into this and realized how good it made me feel, and I feel like I’m in the right place,” he said.
Outside of teaching students, Wrigley also has experience working in art schools, including sitting on the admissions board. This involvement over the years has yielded a palette of insight into the art school admissions process and what makes the killer portfolio.
Though his arts admissions
board days are over, Wrigley believes what art schools are looking for hasn’t fundamentally changed.
One of his biggest pieces of advice for students is to maintain a sketchbook and to just try to produce any sort of art every day, just to get their hands moving. “The more you can draw and write in your book, the more personalized it can become. It will help [schools] understand your thought process as an artist,” he explained. “They need to know that you are open and adaptable to new things open to you. Showing how your process forms is so important.”
Wrigley also highlights the balance of displaying technical prowess and one’s own story and identity. “Have a piece that shows your chops. If you can finesse one piece, make sure it shows a really clean, accurate rendering,” he said. “If you’re doing a still life to show your technique, then the objects have to have meaning. If you’re doing a self-portrait, you need to be able to explain the emotion in your head as you were doing it.”
Most importantly, though, students should work on their own style rather than copying another artist’s style.“Your art to show
your own vision, your own sense of composition, your own sense of color, sense of narrative. It has to be truly yours,” Wrigley advised.
Characteristics that have defined Stuyvesant students pose both an advantage and disadvantage for students in the art world.
“I think that at Stuy, people are coming from a more informed position of knowing what their art is. Everyone here is doing it because they are thinkers,” he explained. When the time comes that a Stuyvesant student is creating their portfolio for an art school, he worries about the usual Stuyvesant traits of being literal and perfectionist to hold back the student, “Don’t let perfectionism box you in. The time for perfectionism is the last 10 percent when you’re bringing it in for a landing, not the first 40 percent,” Wrigley warned.
A lot of Wrigley’s philosophy stems from throwing out this ‘Stuyvesant urge’ to be perfect and not shying away from, as Bob Ross puts it, “happy accidents.” “To live in your material means you’re seeking out those accidents. If you’re a painter, let the paint take over sometimes. Sometimes the mate-
rials should show you where it’s going to go,” he describes. “When you put a little too much water in, and a line deviates from what you intended, instead of starting over, instead of painting over, embrace that change.”
A big part of a prospecting art school student is hesitance because of the notion that an artistic path is not secure or lucrative. “Well first, I would applaud them on their realism,” Wrigley said. “Really, what art school gives you is an opportunity to study more intensely, and get kind of brutal feedback. If you’re thinking it might not be a great financial idea, you are a Stuyvesant student,” he explained.
He highlights that one does not need to pursue an art degree or career in art to be an artist. “Art is not solely about its financial aspect and if you make art at home and it is something that enriches your life to make and is not sold at a gallery in Chelsea, that still matters. That still counts. At the very least, don’t let the stereotype of the starving artist dissuade you from loving your art,” he urged. “Please, please, please, make art for yourself.”
Outside of school, many Stuyvesant students lead other busy lives in which they take on jobs and get a taste of adulting. Their greater responsibilities make time management a necessity, which means they have to make appropriate adjustments to their lifestyle. Buried deep in APs, extracurriculars, and on top of that, a paid job, it’s no easy feat for students to thrive in both school and work, but many are up to the challenge.
When sophomore Adeline Sauberli found the opportunity to work at the Intrepid Sea, Air & Space Museum, she was hesitant at first. Though she enjoyed the summer camp she attended there and loved the museum environment, taking on a job was a major commitment to consider. “You do need to work 80 hours during the school year,” Sauberli said. “Initially, I wasn’t entirely sure that I wanted to go ahead with this. […] A job is not always feasible for everyone, especially if they have a lot of extracurriculars.”
However, the flexibility of her program dates made Sauberli realize that the position worked with her schedule. For instance, not all of the meetings were mandatory, so she could choose to attend events that she knew she had time for. “A lot of the after-hours meetings that we have are from 5:30 [p.m.] to 8 [p.m.] which means I can still do a club meeting at Stuy and get there on time,” she explained. She found it motivating to travel to the Intrepid after school with other Stuyvesant students who work there as well.
Sophomore Jayden Zhang is employed as a barista at Chun Yang, a bubble tea shop in Chinatown. “I feel like it’s a good change of scenery every Saturday—instead of being home, I’m out being a good
person,” Zhang described. Since he takes seven to eight hours out of his weekend to work, he has to plan out his time wisely. “What I do on Fridays is that I schedule and plan ahead of time. I plan my social
her co-workers had. “And I was so sad!” she reflected. “So I was thinking, ‘Addy, when you came home Tuesday, you had a lot of time to do your essay actually, and maybe it would’ve been better if you had just
you feel like you could get out of, do it,” she encouraged. “If the people who are organizing the job for you are mindful that you’re a student, they will make it easy for you to say yes.”
Those with flexible schedules may feel more relaxed relative to the previous accounts. After taking part in the Summer Youth Employment Program over the summer, senior Anisa Gao landed a remote part-time job at a non-profit organization called SPEAKHIRE. “I have to plan ahead of time if I want to go out with friends, or if I have any appointments. Usually my job does not have a strict schedule, […] just as long as I get the work done in a timely manner, so I usually try to make sure any plans I have are on the weekends, especially because weekdays are already full of schoolwork,” Gao said.
and school work. I’d get back in the building by 3:20 [p.m.], and still have 25 minutes left during 10th period,” Chen explained. By taking advantage of her 10th free, Chen is able to profit from her babysitting gig, and the rest of her daily schedule is similar to other students.
meets, my hobbies, [and] my sleep time all in one day so I can do [my job] during my allotted time,” he detailed.
Senior Ruby Lin, who works at Kumon for seven hours a week, notes that maximizing the use of her time is imperative to balance a job with school. “As a senior, I believe I’m good at time management, so I start my homework during my free periods and such. I used to be really committed to track, so I learned to maximize my time; I either start [AP] Calc[ulus] BC homework on the train or do my assigned reading for English class,” she said.
Sauberli has felt the taxing impacts of a heavy workload on her job. She opted out of attending an Intrepid event to go to finish her History Day project and write an essay. However, she regretted it later when she learned about the fun
gone.’ Maybe I could’ve cranked it up a bit.”
Due to their unique personalities, students have different responses to adapting to their workloads. Zhang recognizes that working takes time away from his sleep. “I don’t get enough sleep because of my job; it takes away a lot of time on Saturdays which I could be spending doing homework,” he explained.
On the other hand, Sauberli had a slightly different opinion on the time being taken out of her schedule. “It’s almost easier for me to get my homework done if I do more things,” she said. Sauberli found that having a job was worth the time, especially because her workplace acknowledges that high school students have a hectic timetable. “Even if you do have work to do, if it’s a job that’s really fun, that
Gao finds her job to be a learning experience, shaping her skills for the betterment of her future. “[My boss] been helping me figure out what I want to do in the future and learn about things like professionalism, how to interact with potential customers, and how to market myself as a person. I have to contact many people during my job […] so she’s been teaching me a lot about how to interact with these people, and how to [manage my] tone of voice in general, and especially on social media,” Gao explained. After undergoing these experiences, Gao hopes to continue her passions in college.
Compared to the prior examples of relatively formal work settings, sophomore Filie Chen discovered a convenient opportunity that she could merge with her time at school. Chen works as a babysitter for two children at City Hall. “On days when the school bus arrives on time at 3 p.m., we walk for about 10 minutes to the center, and then I walk back to Stuy for clubs
Students and teachers share juicy tidbits from their notes app.
Junior Malcolm West works at the Starbucks in Brookfield Place. West has had various experiences with customers as a barista, infamous to those working in customer service. “I’ve had to deal with rude customers, customers trying to scam us for free drinks, and customers who ordered stuff online that we don’t have in store. Learning about human nature, seeing who says ‘Hi’ back, and [observing] how different age groups interact with workers is all very educational,” West acknowledged. Though some work environments may be harsh, these experiences may prove to be learning experiences to improve social interactions at school and in daily life.
Lin found the real-world experience she gained from teaching elementary school students to be very valuable as well. “My job showed me that there was a world that was outside of just school and learning and getting hands-on experience with little children showed me how rewarding it was to be able to assist them,” she said. Naturally, there are also financial benefits to students’ jobs. “I applied for this job despite being a busy Stuyvesant student because I wanted to earn money,” Lin said.
With his new experience working, Zhang too gained a new appreciation for financial freedom. “It’s nice to know that I have an okay income versus my outcome rates, so I’m not going to actually go into debt. It’s nice to know I can go out without burdening my parents financially,” he expressed. “I feel like it’s given me a lot of independence.”
“It’s a page of how many pounds I can bench press titled ‘Lifting God’ so I can keep track of my progress.”
—Elizabeth Kolbasko, sophomore
“I have 13 + 25 = 38 on my notes app.”
—Zariya Kardar, junior
“In my notes app I have pickup lines that I wrote to my ex in middle school. One of them was, ‘Your hand is looking a little heavy. Want me to hold it for you?’”
—Madelyn Nunez, freshman
“My
—Catherine Wijaya, sophomore
“I have my Global notes [from] remote learning: it says ‘1/12/21, the idea of democracy, the cornerstone of western civilization, greatest ideas liberty, freedom, taken the words of Ancient Greece and white washed it, seen what we want and not what happened.’” —Sophia Zheng, junior
“I have a whole slow-burn fanfiction I wrote when I was 12” —Dylan Chin, junior
“In my notes app, I have a note titled ‘Vulgar words and phrases of different languages.’ The catch: there’s only one foreign word in the note. ‘Sitzpinkler,’ German for sit-pissers (men who sit down to urinate). The insult is German slang for ‘wimp.’ I don’t know how I found that word or why I chose to save it in the Notes app, but it’s there for some random reason.”
“I like to save texts and excerpts I like in my notes app. Here’s a funny text from my sibling: ‘My mantra as I’ve gotten older: The only thing working hard ever got me is more work.’”
“During the pandemic, I wrote journal entries every day, including this entry which I wrote the day I found out I got into Stuy[vesant]: it says ‘just remember that it will all help in the future and that I know I hate it when everything is about the future, but you’re strong enough to make it to the future and live the life you have worked so hard for.’” —Kaileen So, sophomore
“When I have an interesting dream, I type it up on my notes so I don’t forget.” —Janet Tong, sophomore
“‘Can I have the ipad please’ and then I AirDropped it to my sister.” —anonymous, sophomore
“‘List of Karaoke Songs: Safari song, Boyfriend, Moral of the story, This is a man’s world >>>, Feeling good >>>, Ny state of mind, My funny valentine, Bound to you, Fly me to the moon, Call out my name, Best part, Heartbreak anniversary, Dream a little dream, Little miss perfect, All the things she said, As the world caves in, Chokes, Do it all the time, Absinthe, Leave me alone, Breakfast, Fire on fire, Baby boy kevin abstract, Ol frenchie, We are young, River lullaby, Bleed magic, Gave it away, Jasons song, michelle, Too close, Lullaby of birdland, Tell me its okay, WSP (girls and the gays)’” —Dinah-Luba Beylison, junior
—William
—Lauren Stuzin, English teacher
“One of them is a [line from a] story I wrote for Dungeons and Dragons: ‘But the third time they twisted and the boy’s ass fell off.’”
—Maximilian Mamykin, sophomore
“A bunch of Wi-Fi passwords” —anonymous, junior
“‘Can I have the ipad please’ and then I AirDropped it to my sister.” —anonymous, sophomore
“I have a note dedicated to my significant other with interesting conversations we’ve had that I want to remember. I also have a really long list of like, reasons I like him, and at the bottom there’s a link to his father’s property records that I found online (To clarify, I’m not stalking my partner—he knows I found them).” —anonymous, sophomore
Haratsch, junior“Notes from the time my computer crashed:
- White screen
- Hold off button for 10ish seconds to close
- Re-opened right after
- 2 thick red vertical lines to the rightish of the screen
- Radeon settings thing reopened
- White screen again
- Held close button again for 10ish seconds
- No red lines”
—anonymous, sophomore
“Food choices from local eateries.”—Glen Chew, math teacher
“I have a note of me writing down every time I cried this year (I stopped around April, but I got the idea from a TikTok, called Spoticry Wrapped or something).” —Jane No, freshman
“I have a list called ‘Possible Wedding Songs for My Mom,’ with things like ‘Tequila,’ ‘Just a Dream,’ and ‘The River Flows in Me.’ I also have a list of ways my sister has wronged me, like an entry from 2016 when she used to try to shower before me whenever I really wanted to go first.” —Ada Liang, junior
“I have a note from May of this year, which was a plan for a thing I wanted to make and upload online. I had all the characters listed, but I didn’t get much further than that, it’s been sitting dormant in my Notes for a long time” —Scott Chu, freshman
“I guessed my friend’s crush list.” —Quainat Mariam, senior
“I have a list of anime recommendations for others. Though my number one recommendation would definitely be Link Click. You should go watch it!”
—anonymous, freshman
“Babysitting makes me want to take all the birth control pills in the world and blend them up into a nice smoothie then chug it until my entire uterus falls out of my body.” —Ruby Friedman, senior
“I have a locked note that has a message that I considered sending to my friend when we were in a fight. It’s essentially a long rant.”
—Dhara Shridharani, freshman
“I have people’s locker combos… that I stole.”
—anonymous, junior
workout for the swim team.”Courtesy of Malcolm West By CRICKET FU, JUNI PARK, and SUYEON RYU
It may come as a surprise, but Stuyvesant has five gender-neutral bathrooms: one on the fifth floor in front of the cafeteria, two in the third-floor nurse’s office, one at the back of the senior atrium in 273B, and one in room 107. Among these bathrooms, two (in 273B and 107) are respectively the personal bathrooms of Director of Family Engagement Dina Ingram and Principal Seung Yu, who have opened their bathrooms for student use. As the name suggests, these bathrooms are open to all students regardless of their gender and are single-stalled to ensure privacy.
These gender-neutral bathrooms are especially important to gender nonconforming students.
Sophomore Michelle Huang, who is non-binary, feels there are benefits to gender-neutral bathrooms. “I don’t really mind using the gendered bathrooms, but I think gender-neutral bathrooms make me feel a bit more secure in my [gender] identity because I feel like if I use the gendered bathrooms, people automatically assume my gender. With gender neutral bathrooms, it’s more ambiguous,” they said.
However, gender-neutral bathrooms appear to be less accessible than gendered ones. In reality, only the fifth floor bathroom is widely used. “The second and third floor ones are down the most obscure hallways in Stuyvesant, but the fifth floor one is definitely really easily accessible,” sophomore Jakob Weir said.
In fact, none of our interviewees were aware of the locations of all five gender-neutral bathrooms. This is especially a problem considering the only
well-known gender-neutral bathroom, on the fifth floor, is often occupied. Senior Francis Zweifler states his difficulties when trying to find a place to change for gym. “There [are] only like two [gender-neutral bathrooms] for the entire school, which is a bit of an issue and there’s only one you can access without having to sign into the nurse’s office, so it’s just generally very inconvenient,” he said. This concern is heightened for students, particularly seniors, with gym teachers who are stringent about uniform-changing policy, as they may not have the time to search for an unoccupied gender-neutral bathroom before every gym class.
Stuyvesant Spectrum copresident Ruby Friedman, who is gender-nonconforming, emphasized that gender-neutral bathrooms are not only important for their practical purposes, but also as a matter of showing respect to a marginalized community. “I think easily accessible genderneutral bathrooms are a human right,” Friedman said. “Imagine if you had to go several floors up or down to use the bathroom while in a class.”
Huang also brought up that the gender-neutral bathrooms are currently concentrated in the lower floors. A more even distribution of gender-neutral to gendered bathrooms would be a step towards gender inclusivity that would benefit everyone, not just gender nonconforming students. “Not only can genderneutral students who may feel uncomfortable using the gendered bathrooms use the genderneutral bathrooms, but also if the bathrooms are more accessible, it’s easier for gender conforming students to use them so [students] don’t need to wait in line if the gendered ones are too
long,” they said.
Freshman Bogdan Sotnikov suggested replacing all gendered bathrooms with gender-neutral ones, questioning why we contin-
more accepted and can use their preferred restroom,” he states.
This idea isn’t necessarily a universally accepted one. Nonetheless, most students agree that
der-neutral bathrooms. “Stuy isn’t great with gender-neutral students,” they said. “Barely any of my teachers use my pronouns and many of them don’t even ask.”
English teacher Lauren Stuzin advocates for Stuyvesant to make an active effort to embrace the spectrum of gender and sexuality. “I think the school should make more of an effort to discuss [the] intersectionality of identity, both in classes and at large,” they said in an e-mail interview. “Students are unable to put their pronouns on Google Classroom, Jupiter, or Talos, and are often not asked by teachers what their pronouns are. Recently, I have heard that students won’t be able to put their pronouns or their names (if their names are different than their legal names, that is) on the yearbook.”
Stuzin had some suggestions to improve Stuyvesant’s approach to making the school an inclusive community. “I think Stuyvesant should have a handout, a talk circle, or an assembly about LGBTQIA+ identities, and the intersectionality of those identities,” they said. “Maybe there could also be a class that addresses those topics, or a portion of the health curriculum that focuses on queerness and the sex spectrum.”
ue binary categorization when biological sex and sexuality do not determine how someone chooses to categorize themself. “I think gender-neutral restrooms are better than gendered ones, because they are more inclusive to gender-nonconforming people and waste less space. In my opinion, there’s not much of a reason to separate restrooms by gender now that transgender people are
Stuyvesant should make changes to accommodate the LGBTQ+ community. Huang suggested, for example, making menstrual products more accessible to everyone. “For transgender students, they could put pads and tampons in both gender bathrooms,” they said.
Friedman found that Stuyvesant’s problems with gender exclusivity extended outside gen-
Whether it is in making gender-neutral bathrooms more accessible, or being aware of students’ pronouns, Stuyvesant still has a long way to go in terms of inclusivity for the LGBTQIA+ community. “I think these issues should be regarded with more seriousness,” Stuzin said. “I hope in the future, there can be more support for students moving through homophobic, transphobic, sexist, and racist systems.”
One hundred fifty-five teachers teach in the classrooms of Stuyvesant High School, all with unique styles of teaching. Some teachers utilize the textbook for their lesson plans, while others do not. Some choose to use discussion-based learning, whereas others prefer lecture-based classes. These different methods of teaching expose students to different teaching environments and ultimately have an impact on the way that students learn.
Teachers often have to decide between using a textbook in their curriculum or forgoing one. Some students think that textbooks are helpful because they are dependable. “It’s just going to be more reliable; if it’s from that teacher’s specific experience, some of the information may be wrong,” freshman Edgar Ganahl said. “When the creative lessons have questionable information (this part is very rare), a lack of depth, or follow a curriculum differing from that of other classes, those lessons become an issue to me, and I wish for the textbook simply because the book’s curriculum follows a set and vetted curriculum with reliable information for people our age,” he said in an
e-mail interview.
Other students shared that textbooks are often unreliable because they may be outdated, thus at times more challenging to understand. “Teaching from a textbook, I feel like sometimes can be really restrictive. And you’re left with these very old-timey-worded phrases, and you just don’t get good examples.” sophomore Niamh Werner explained.
However, she has strong support for textbook-dependent curriculums in AP classes. “If you’re taking something like an AP class, it’s important to have textbook readings, because if not, you’re going to fall drastically behind because there’s just so much material to cover,” Werner shared. “Everything that you’re memorizing is coming from the textbook, because it’s almost like the classes are almost supplementary to the textbook readings.”
The characteristics of AP classes may change the way teachers teach a class. Science teacher Deame Hua who has taught both AP and honors-level biology classes feels that her teaching methods change a lot due to the nature of the classes. “That changes the way you maybe give exams and also the speed at which we teach certain building depth on certain things, not to say that, you know,
go up, but that you ever focus on different things,” she said. In AP classes, teachers tend to focus on preparing their students for the final exam.
Another aspect that comes into consideration is lecture-based versus discussion-based classes. Though Ganahl agrees that both are necessary, he prefers discussion-based classes. “It’s because I’m more engaged; I’m taking better notes, I’m retaining the information. And in general, thinking about stuff is just gonna make you retain it more, you have to do that in a discussion-based class,” he explained.
The feeling is echoed by teachers as well. “Occasionally, we have to do a mini-lecture to teach a particular skill or go over a particular literary device. But for the most part, we do discussion-based lessons,” English teacher Sarah Lifson said. Discussion-based learning can allow students to teach themselves, instead of just having a teacher explain it to them. “If I’m lecturing, they might be spacing out or they may not understand. If they’re learning it by themselves, they’re creating images in their mind that connect to the materials, so that they can recall it better,” she added.
Some students like Werner prefer lecture-based lessons and
think discussion-based learning does not allow her to understand specific topics on her own. “I feel like if I have to rely more on my own understanding, it helps me to focus a lot more on what I’m doing, rather than relying on other people to do it for me,” she shared. “A lot of the times, when you’re in a group, you’re not guaranteed that everyone’s going to understand the topic. And then the teacher then has to go back and almost re-explain it.”
In tandem to lecture-based lessons, many students appreciate a visual component to the presentation. “[My preferred method of learning is] probably with teachers, when they teach in class with diagrams and explanations,” Ganahl said. “I feel like they are able to convey their message as the most general to the class, especially myself,” he added.
Sophomore Muhib Muhib noticed a substantial difference in his learning when teachers incorporated visual materials into their lessons. “My highest grades are in those subjects that often use those visuals or at least sort of present the material straightforwardly,” he shared.
Lifson likes teaching with an inquiry-based approach, which allows students to figure out a prompt on their own without it
being explained to them. “Instead of the teacher being a leader, we’re kind of flipping the narrative and the students almost become their own teachers,” she said. “I find that it really engages my students much more. It allows them to acquire information, learn information more in-depth because they are taking part in the learning process.”
Other teachers agree with this sentiment. “My favorite method of teaching involves students figuring things out, inquiry-driven learning, and also doing various types of projects, where students are able to synthesize their understanding into a creative expression,” Hua explained. One of the projects she has assigned to her anthropology classes utilizes these inquiry skills. “Each group is responsible for one particular hominid, and doing deep dives, where they’re going to create miniature hominid models to be displayed on the seventh floor,” she said.
With so many approaches to teaching, there seems to be little consensus on what students truly prefer because of the differences in learning styles. Even so, the variety of teaching methods has allowed students to familiarize themselves with how they learn best, a skill that can be applied tofuture learning experiences.
In the past two months, Stuyvesant High School received two anonymous threats. Last month, students had to exit the building and stay outside for nearly two periods, in 40 degree weather and amid general chaos. Despite this, students and teachers alike were left clueless about what was happening, receiving only a handful of vague e-mails afterwards mentioning a “potential threat” without many other details. In our Issue 5 Staff Editorial, we addressed concerns over the lack of transparency among administrators. Recent developments have shown that Stuyvesant’s administration continues to keep students in the dark.
A few weeks ago, crowds of Stuyvesant members were stunned to discover that they could not return into the building after 4 p.m. The old rule wasn’t enforced until then, and no warning or announcement had been given beforehand. This had immediate repercussions: students who participated in afterschool activities like PSAL sports or robotics faced being locked out, even without their belongings. Some could have a teacher inside arbitrarily vouch for them, but students who just returned for abandoned possessions would have no such luck.
A number of other changes by the administration have not been clearly communicated to students, leading to confusion and discontent. Regarding the 4 p.m. policy, the decision was made without the consultation of the Student Union (SU) or student body representatives, and students were not informed of this policy change beforehand. Similarly, a new rule requiring users to sign in to the computers at the print stations has led to long lines of frustrated students
unaware of the policy, especially for those who do not know their account information. During the blood drive on November 30, the administration didn’t communicate that lockers in the area would be unavailable, which burdened students who had previously left items in those lockers. In addition, the COVID absence form is not accessible and students frequently receive conflicting information about the process to leave early.
It is worth noting that in the past few days, the Stuyvesant administration has made attempts to reach out to students on the importance of safety precautions. For example, on December 6, Stuyvesant administered a homeroom schedule so that teachers could explain the importance of and differences in evacuation and lockdown procedures. Future efforts such as this are critical, as they allow students to learn about safety rules in a dedicated and focused environment.
There are several ways to solve these problems. First is to send out separate e-mails for important announcements: the majority of students were unaware of the 4 p.m. policy because it was buried in the Weekly Updates among excess information. If there is a significant change to policies affecting students, it should be put into the main body of the Weekly Update email, where it can be found more easily. The administration could also post updates via social media. Stuyvesant’s Instagram and Facebook accounts are currently used more for showcasing certain aspects of the school, such as the library or different clubs. Using those accounts to inform students of important updates would help spread the knowledge faster through the student body.
Finally, another method of communication could be the school announcements. While some students don’t read the e-mails sent by administration or the SU, the school announcements are heard in every classroom and are ideal for informing the student body of necessary information, such as the fact that the blood drive would take place on the first floor and take away student access to first floor lockers. Though many teachers and students often brush off the morning announcements, it is necessary that class time be devoted to actively listening to them, especially if they contain important school changes.
The Stuyvesant administration is responsible for communicating important information to the student body, but students should also take a proactive effort to stay updated. This way, they can advocate for changes they want the administration to make or propose amendments to existing policies. Whether it be reading or skimming through the weekly updates, paying attention to signage around the school, or even reading The Spectator, it is important to access information that is already available. However, there is only so much the Stuyvesant body can do if information continues to be scattered and unavailable, frustrating the lives of already-busy students. Students should not only have a voice when these policies are being developed and approved, but should also be aware of these changes so they can plan accordingly without being penalized. If the administration truly wants to commit to safety and organization, they cannot be opaque with the students they aim to benefit. We urge the administration to take meaningful strides to make communication constant, accessible, and truthful.
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By HELEN MANCINII helped plan a global climate strike on March 25, 2021, with Fridays for Future, an organization started by Greta Thunberg in Sweden that holds school strikes for climate action around the globe. Fridays for Future representatives had negotiated different policies, such as marking students “absent for a strike” in attendance records, with administrators at schools including LaGuardia High School and Bronx Science. I attempted to negotiate the same for Stuyvesant, but after e-mailing the administration, I received an explanation of standard protocols from the DOE, and information about the strike was removed from morning announcements. On the day of the strike, an e-mail in blue font was sent to students and parents alerting them that the strike was happening and that while students could leave midday to attend with the support of the safety staff, absences would not be excused.
This September, I e-mailed again with detailed explanations for why the climate strike would be important for students to attend. Hosting indigenous speakers, a United Nations special envoy, and activists around the world, the September 23 strike was a critical experience for anyone concerned with the future of the climate movement. The response e-mail was only four lines this time. I knew the drill.
Climate strikes do not stand alone. Abortion protests and CO-
VID protocol walkouts have also occurred this past year. In the stressed political climate of our time, many students have used walkouts as a way to take a stand on issues they care about, but the majority of Stuyvesant seems to be left out of these actions. I have tried many times to convince Stuyvesant students to come to climate strikes, but even though they care about the issue, students often turn me down in favor of preserving their attendance records. This past climate strike on September 23 mobilized about 5,000 people in total, with hundreds of students coming from public and private high schools, many with the support of their administrations. Yet Stuyvesant, despite its large size, brought fewer than 10 people.
Why? Many Stuyvesant students are already engaged within their communities, so these events may get lost in a sea of flyers. On the other hand, Bronx Science, a school with a similar extracurricular culture, has consistently brought over 10 times the number of students that Stuyvesant has to climate strikes. In this sense, the blame also falls on the Stuyvesant administration for not spreading the word or making any effort to excuse absences. Stuyvesant culture seems to call for civic engagement only when it is palatable to college applications and happening outside of school hours. The administration could be right. What makes walkout activism more impactful than the political volunteering, fundraisers, and park cleanups
that Stuyvesant’s honor society and clubs already partake in? Excusing absences causes walkouts to lose their sense of protest.
Walkout activism is a unique opportunity for systemic disruption that cannot be substituted with volunteering, and excusing absences just affirms that the school in question supports its students’ endeavors. Activism that can fit into college applications and conforms to elitist value systems can do a lot of good, but they rarely break through those systems. Walkout activism also prepares students to participate in democracy and become active members of society, skills that are difficult to teach in a classroom.
Climate change is the perfect example of a systemic issue. Oil and gas are deeply intertwined with our global economy and collective way of life. Moving on from these energy sources requires radical change that is primarily being fought for by indigenous leaders, scientists, and young people. Stuyvesant promotes the science that backs the climate movement in its curriculum through classes like AP Environmental Science and Honors Biology. The school is in consensus about climate change being an important and even existential issue, so students should not have to fear the consequences of protesting in favor of solutions. Furthermore, insofar as schools operate to protect students and improve their futures, they should empower them in their fight against crises that pose a threat
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to our generation’s livelihood and survival, like climate change.
When students have to protest their schools, along with politicians, corporations, and other power structures, problems ensue. For one, many students who wish to attend the protest will not hear about it because it has been barred from school-sanctioned communications. Secondly, divisions are created between students who participate in protests and those who do not. After being turned down by more and more students in favor of academic diligence when promoting climate strikes, I began to question my own. I care about school a lot, and it was difficult for me to accept that other students may view a climate strike as just an opportunity to miss school. The idea that only “slacker” students want to participate in walkout activism delegitimizes the worth of the causes students are fighting for. It further suggests that complacency in unjust systems is important to achieving academic excellence and eventually career success.
The solution is not simple. Stuyvesant cannot start excusing absences for every student initiative. If the administration stopped enforcing the mandated attendance policies, students could take advantage of it, and issues with the DOE might arise. None of this situation would be fair for the staff at Stuyvesant, but there is still a path where everyone could win through compromise. The administration might have to determine the legitimacy of activist causes in
some cases, but as long as a cause does not violate Stuyvesant’s “intellectual, moral, and humanistic” values, compromise should not be difficult, especially considering that various private and public schools in NYC already provide a model. Administrators may fear that a policy change will lead to an unmanageable amount of strikes, but in my experience, students care too much about their academic performance to miss school unless the situation is urgent. If no amendments or bends of the attendance policy, such as being marked “absent for a strike,” can be made, Stuyvesant could still alert teachers of the date ahead of time so that they can plan around it. Promotion of the event could be facilitated through Stuyvesant’s regular channels, like the Weekly Update, morning announcements, and Mr. Blumm’s Opportunities Bulletin.
The climate crisis is in progress, and while Stuyvesant prepares and uplifts students who will go on to make huge impacts on our world and possibly innovate solutions, it ignores the impact we could be making as a school right now. Simply teaching about the science of the climate crisis and having an environmental club is not enough. Stuyvesant needs to help students preserve the future that we study for in class. I urge Stuyvesant students to get involved in student activism and for the administration to support our endeavors. Maybe during the next climate strike, we can beat Bronx Science.
Before Election Day, it looked like Republicans were going to easily win the midterms, taking both the House and Senate. The New York Times suggested on October 17 that the Republican party was going into the midterms with a distinct advantage. Inflation and low presidential approval ratings were hurting Democrats’ prospects, and it seemed as though there was no hope. Then, on Tuesday, November 8, people all over America flocked to ballot boxes and poll sites to cast their ballots. The results defied everyone’s expectations.
The predicted red wave never came, and Democrats fared surprisingly well. They maintained control of the Senate, and if they win the runoff in Georgia, they may even make gains. Though the Republicans took the House, Democratic representatives
did far better than anticipated. The Republican majority will be very slim, and it’s possible that they won’t be able to completely block Joe Biden’s agenda.
A significant number of losing Republican candidates were promoted by former president Donald Trump. Many people have taken this connection as a sign that voters are rejecting Trumpism, which is true to an extent.
However, even with the decline of Trumpism, the trend of election denial started by Trump continues to pervade politics. When Trump lost reelection in 2020, he began his “Stop the Steal” campaign. He baselessly claimed that the election was “stolen” and that he was the rightful president. Trump’s attempt to subvert the 2020 election failed, but he managed to create a massive amount of doubt in American elections and democracy. He continues to promote his “Stop the Steal” narrative and anti-democracy candidates.
The fact that many Trump-backed Republicans lost their elections is comforting, but it’s important to be aware of the mindset of election deniers. It doesn’t matter if election deniers lose their elections. They will claim victory anyway, and they will end up with more legitimacy than the actual winners in the eyes of many voters.
Though there hasn’t yet been an extremely high profile case of election denial this year, it’s still important to focus on the smaller examples. Widespread election denialism on the local level is just as harmful as election denialism on a national scale, because it is harder to combat and is similarly far-reaching. Pennsylvania Republican gubernatorial candidate Doug Mastriano’s concession was accompanied by a paragraph about how “Pennsylvania is in great need of election reform,” and Arizona Republican gubernatorial candidate Kari Lake’s first response to
her projected loss was a tweet that said, “Arizonans know BS when they see it.” Since then, she has refused to concede the election, and she is gathering a legal team to challenge the results. The uncertainty invoked by statements and actions like these creates an atmosphere of suspicion and makes it harder for elections to be carried out smoothly.
The effects of election denial are extensive, regardless of whether election deniers win. Often, further infringements on voters’ rights are justified through unsubstantiated claims of election fraud. During the first nine months of 2021, 19 states enacted 33 restrictive voting laws, a trend that continued into 2022. This legislation has a detrimental effect on voter turnout, and it especially hurts marginalized groups of people. In extreme cases, election denial results in senseless violence, as in the case of the January 6 riot.
The fact that voters are rejecting election deniers is a positive sign, but the issues facing American democracy will not vanish until election denial no longer has a platform. The votes and attention that election deniers have drawn are harmful on their own, even without election victories. Democracy cannot function if people are constantly debating what is true and who really won. Winning elections is important, but it’s not enough. In order for Trumpism to really be defeated, America’s culture of election denial needs to end.
There’s no immediate solution to this problem, and it can’t ever be fully eradicated. It’s impossible to completely erase the effects of the past few years. However, if everyone does their part by voting, promoting the truth, and taking election deniers out of the spotlight, it could change America for the better.
Colorado Springs, a growing town in the Southwest United States, is home to a community of religious conservatives. Despite Colorado Springs’s homophobic reputation, Club Q, one of the only LGBTQ+ clubs in the city, was a local safe space for queer people. However, this sense of security was shattered on Saturday, November 19, 2022, when a gunman opened fire in the club, killing five people and injuring 17 others. This event not only highlighted the issue of gun violence, but also caused many Americans to realize that the spread of homophobia leads to direct violence. The shooting was caused in part by the inflammation of politicized homophobia, especially under the guise of protecting children. Across the U.S., legislators and citizens alike are encouraging raging homophobic ideals and laws, letting them fester into a dangerous movement of inhumanity.
After the Colorado Springs attack, Lauren Boebert, a Republican representative from Colorado, tweeted that she was praying for the victims and their families. However, she has repeatedly fabricated claims of the LGBTQ+ community grooming children and denied the legitimacy of transgender people. When a senseless tragedy happens, thoughts and prayers are not enough. Our legislators and society must change. Boebert has denied the claim that her actions were related to the shooting and continued to promote the idea that transgender people have taken “what is rightly a woman’s.” Legislators like Boebert have enabled an environment for homophobia, and when faced with the consequences of extremism, many fail to see their own faults. For example, as politicians fight for as many voters as
they possibly can, they inevitably fall into a hypocritical trap, as seen with former Alaskan governor Sarah Palin. During her campaign for Congress in September, she was endorsed by the Log Cabin Republicans, a group of conservatives from the LGBTQ+ community, despite the fact that Palin has been against marriage equality since 2008. Even former President Donald Trump waved a rainbow flag at a Colorado rally in his electoral campaign in 2016 while promising to appoint Supreme Court justices who oppose same-sex marriage. The insidious actions that these politicians and legislators take behind closed doors have immeasurable effects on LGBTQ+ lives, and when they refuse to see the damage that they inflict, lives are threatened.
U.S. states where conservatives dominate the political field have recently seen a slew of anti-LGBTQ+ bills in an attempt to stop children from learning about LGBTQ+ acceptance. Perhaps the most infamous example is Florida’s “Don’t Say Gay Bill,” which prohibits public school educators from teaching students about sexual orientation and gender identity that is not “developmentally appropriate.” This stance stems from Floridian Governor Ron DeSantis’s claims that students are affected by the left’s “woke gender ideology.” Conservatives who accuse teachers and activists of grooming children and indoctrinating them into homosexuality enable attacks against LGBTQ+ people. In Colorado specifically, a number of Republican politicians have attacked school communities, claiming that educating children about the LGBTQ+ community “sexualizes” them.
This political action affects the mental health of LGBTQ+ youth and the physical danger that the local
community faces. The University of California, Merced cited studies that show that around half of transgender people and bisexual women will experience sexual violence at some point in their lives. Additionally, Colorado is one of 38 states where discrimination against LGBTQ+ people is completely legal. When homophobic rhetoric is spread through this type of legislation or simply through false messages of needing to “protect” children from the LGBTQ+ community, it leads directly to physical acts of violence, such as what happened in Colorado Springs.
In states where LGBTQ+ people are legally and socially treated as second-class citizens, there is already a foundation of hatred and fear, and extremist violence is the next step. This process leads to tragedies of LGBTQ+ people getting assaulted, raped, and killed. Noah Ruiz, a transgender man, was attacked in July of 2022 for simply using the bathroom as the campground owner had instructed him to. Ruiz was called slurs by multiple men, with some even threatening to kill him. The suspects claimed that Ruiz was a predator for using the women’s restroom, which is the exact same rhetoric that legislators use to restrict transgender rights in schools and sports. Unfortunately, many attacks against LGBTQ+ people do not receive national attention, showing that they are not only common, but also justified under the false foundations that homophobic laws use.
Politicians who utilize the LGBTQ+ community as a scapegoat for their own beliefs must be held accountable, and their proposed homophobic bills and acts must be immediately seen as what they are: incredibly dangerous. It isn’t a matter of indoctrinating children or taking over
By USHOSHI DASA chorus of groans and sighs: the teacher has just announced yet another test. Students look around the room, hoping that someone will ask that vital question: will the exam be multiple choice? If the teacher answers in the affirmative, there’s an immediate relaxing of shoulders and sighs of relief. Like all my classmates, I appreciate a good multiple choice test. After all, all of us cracked the SHSAT. At the same time, I recognize that multiple choice questions (MCQs) are not an effective way of measuring student proficiency. High school education should shift to written responses to better assess student progress, while preparing students for important exams like the standardized state tests, Regents, and Advanced Placement (AP) tests.
At a large school like Stuyvesant, where teachers often have over 100 students each, it makes sense to give MCQs. After all, they are easier to grade. Answer sheets are simply scanned through a machine or on a phone (or in the case of a Google Form, the tests are graded automatically). Because of this convenient format,
sports. These actions deny LGBTQ+ American citizens’ right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Though officials have hung a massive rainbow flag in front of Colorado Springs City
some teachers give frequent MCQ exit tickets and pop quizzes to survey student progress in class. Since students are picking from a list of four to five answers, they do not need to formulate their own answers (unless the question requires calculations, in which case the answer choices only serve as a way to double-check that they have gotten the right answer). Teachers often give more MCQs to compensate and to test students on more concepts.
However, the multiple choice format teaches students to prioritize testtaking strategies over learning material. Students learn to use MCQs as a crutch: when they struggle to answer a question, they know that without any elimination, there is generally a 20 to 25 percent chance of getting the question right using random selection. A simple Google search reveals millions of results explaining how to best answer MCQs. Some of the most popular strategies are to choose the most detailed answer, to avoid absolutes such as “never” and “always,” and to disregard options that do not align grammatically with the prompt.
Arguably, the best strategy for taking MCQs is the process of elimina-
tion. I began taking MCQs in the third grade in preparation for the state test. The first strategy we learned was to “cross out” choices that didn’t make sense for the English comprehension section, not to simply answer the question. Later, I was taught to apply this strategy to questions that required logic and memorization. Students also use the process of elimination to save time. Instead of figuring out the answer from scratch, students are taught to search for words that will immediately eliminate an answer from being reasonable.
But these methods defeat the purpose of tests—to test students’ critical thinking and knowledge of the subject—and leave teachers questioning the validity of the results. Students can game the system since they do not have to write out their thought processes. Teachers cannot possibly use these types of exams as a reliable survey of student comprehension. I myself am guilty of just wanting to be a good test-taker and receive a high grade instead of ensuring that I understand the material. This test format feeds into the rabbit hole of high school grades affecting
college acceptances and, later in life, the ability to lead a successful career. Students are not taught to value what they learn. They simply learn to obsess over grades. Standardized testing is the norm: state tests begin in third grade, and now, we take the Regents, APs, PSAT, and SAT. But the way they are administered adds unnecessary pressure on students. When practicing for these tests, we are told that it is all about learning how to work through the answer choices.
While learning to reason through answer choices is a valuable skill, it does not allow for students to explain their thought processes. Many of my teachers ask us to choose the best answer choice, and when I pick something that is correct by my reasoning, I have no means of defending my answer. Answer choices in MCQs also prompt answers and thus never demonstrate if a student has truly absorbed the class material. There is no opportunity for partial credit. If students select the wrong answer choice, they get a zero on that question. With responses to short answer questions, teachers can better see students’ thought processes and their ability to
Lillian Dong / The SpectatorHall after the attack to mourn the victims of the shooting, many inside that building are complacent in allowing that violence against the LGBTQ+ community.
apply concepts, and adjust their scoring system accordingly.
A study of medical students found that MCQs do not show whether students are “capable of using the knowledge in real-life situations” and that short answer questions are a more reliable testing alternative. Surgeons’ worth should not be based on whether they passed Human Anatomy by process of elimination. While higher grades based on MCQ assessments might seem more desirable for college admissions, the larger issue is knowledge.
Because of the large number of students taking standardized exams, it might seem that it is impractical to have these exams be anything but majority multiple choice. But tests like the AP history exams involve multiple extended responses and are graded efficiently, so this model could probably be expanded. Otherwise, the SAT and similar exams are open to being gamed and end up assessing test-taking strategies. Our larger goal should be a more educated America, not a nation great at taking MCQs, even if it means more groans and worries when tests are announced.
did this article catch your eye because you unconsciously noticed something was different? you’re right: it’s written in lowercase.
uncommon texting etiquette has always been present, but the latest wave is typing in lowercase letters only. the majority of the people i text send messages without capitalized letters, even if the other aspects of their sentences, such as punctuation and lack of abbreviation, are grammatically correct. this trend began with the earliest mobile phones, when it was a hassle to get to certain letters and to capitalize words, causing a whole new type of writing to emerge, with minimal effort ways to express things such as “fyi,” “lol,” and “2nite.” but while some internet abbreviations have stayed, others have disappeared completely. some are still used ironically in mainstream and social media. meanwhile, typing in lowercase has more or less stayed put. it’s safe to say that lowercase is here to stay. but is it unprofessional? my phone’s auto-cap is turned off, and whenever i need to send an e-mail to a teacher, i find myself manually turning caps on. talking professionally over e-mail and with authority figures is the norm. capitalization has been used throughout the years to show respect. an old history teacher once told my class that her pet peeve is capitalization errors, because it shows ignorance and varying levels of respect. for example, older textbooks tend to capitalize europe but not africa. the difference in capitalization says something about the writer and their views of the world. but when texting, i hardly ever think about capitalizing names, places, and organizations. the rise of lowercase has much to do with the internet and how trends shift in and out of vogue, but this grammatical rebellion predates the internet and can be seen as far back as the ‘70s, when writer bell hooks chose to use a lowercase pen name to keep her audience’s focus on her writing rather than her as an individual. another example is e.e. cummings, who played with the standards of punctuation and capitalization in his time to emphasize the relative strangeness of the language. capitalization is old-fashioned,
and the so-called unarguable conventions of the english language are unnecessary. there is no reason lowercase should be considered negligent or sloppy. as long as you cross your t’s and dot your i’s, why should it matter if they aren’t capitalized? though some people believe that typing in lowercase suggests unfamiliarity or an unedited “stream of consciousness” type of writing style, web culture has encouraged people to develop their own communication preferences. i’ve heard people say that they fear coming off as too strong or overly enthusiastic when they text people in capital letters. typing in lowercase tends to come off more lowkey. university of manchester linguistics lecturer lauren fonteyn says that there’s an underlying psychology to it as well. “on the internet, people have stopped caring about these non-functional rules of grammar and started using caps for other reasons,” she said. “to make the words more default, neutral, or ‘unmarked,’ lowercase is used.” we see this practice in pop culture and art too, with rupi kaur’s intense, haunting decapitalized poems and ariana grande’s thank u, next as a trendsetting album, as well as newer, more “radical” books like a kid’s book about feminism and me and white supremacy. there’s a sense of realness to it, like there is something vulnerable and important transpiring.
though lowercase is more popular in internet spaces and casual chats with friends, there should be nothing stopping us from integrating it into our language. policing one’s every grammatical move is antiquated and rather useless when you can still understand the point. in fact, it makes it all the more powerful when you capitalize certain words to make a point. lowercase can signal authenticity and comfort, but using it in everyday situations also has an unspoken history of questioning the status quo. lowercase shouldn’t be regarded as inappropriate or unprofessional. regardless of your own typing preferences, don’t regard lowercase as a bad thing, and don’t knock it until you try it. i encourage you to go to the keyboard section of your phone settings to embrace the lowercase life. what now, grammar police?
Most TV shows have a “happily ever after” scene: a short clip showing the main character married to their love interest, living in a whitepicket fenced house with a large backyard for children to run around. The media has glorified parenthood. It has pushed the image that, despite the lack of sleep, vacation, and official sick days, the small moments of watching your children take their first steps or say their first words supposedly trump all.
Society has taught us that parenthood, specifically motherhood, is an expected route to take on. For many women, having kids isn’t a choice. It’s a duty that needs to be fulfilled. And though this ideology has become outdated in many places such as America, it is not the case for other countries and cultures. For most Israeli women, “motherhood is the chief ideological icon and primary identity.” In 2010, 70 percent of unmarried Japanese women agreed that couples should have children if they get married. Furthermore, even if women push back on the idea that they must have children, they are often met with criticism and a lack of understanding. For example, Israeli women who do not want to be mothers tend to be isolated from various social circles. In addition, their humanity, femininity, and sanity are often questioned, and they are told that motherhood is naturally adaptable over time. It is because of this social presumption that many women feel pressured to have children and then face “parental regret,” the experience of lamenting the birth of their children.
Parental regret is much more common than you may think. In a survey published by YouGov, eight percent of British parents said that they regret having kids. This trend is not limited to the United Kingdom, either. A 2013 Gallup poll found that seven percent of US parents wouldn’t have children if they could do it over again, and a 2016 survey found that 20 percent of German parents would not choose to become parents again. Combine all these surveys, and there are millions of parents all over the world who regret having their children.
But let’s get it clear: regretful parents are not bad parents. In most cases, unhappy parents regret the actual phase of parenthood and not the existence of their children. Many mothers feel ambivalent about their motherhood journey and sometimes about their children as well. While this ambivalence isn’t necessarily a huge issue, it’s when these feelings affect the parentchild dynamic that the entire family can suffer. The amount of research done on this topic isn’t
When conversations dwindle to silence at a restaurant, most people gravitate toward their phones as a source of entertainment. In the 21st century, the widespread use of technology and emphasis on speed are causing students to fall into the trap of instant gratification. While the value of patience was once stressed by parents and schools, students are becoming increasingly impatient, and it’s affecting their lives.
Impatient students put great emphasis on speed and efficiency and easily become frustrated when what they want is not quickly achieved. These qualities can lead to impulsive behaviors and negative ramifications, such as consistent discontent and loss of ambition and motivation. The life-altering mistakes and unhappiness caused by impatience outweigh its value as a method to achieve tasks faster.
At Stuyvesant, students are no strangers to fast work. Due to constant assessments and assignments, many students rely on technology and speed to achieve their goals. We can access nearly unlimited resources and knowledge with a few clicks on our
phones or computers, and we scroll through YouTube videos, TikToks, and Instagram Reels to satisfy ourselves and escape boredom. To a great degree, technology benefits the school and its students, but technology also contributes to a student’s impatience. Technology is used to constantly stimulate and instantly reward students, resulting in their contentment with brief and meaningless pleasures.
Fueled by technology, the impatience of students has become so extreme that they can hardly wait a few seconds. Studies found that after 10 seconds of waiting for content, 50 percent of people abandon it for something else. This reliance on instant pleasures and fast technology affects more than just how long a student is willing to wait.
Impatience reduces persistence, along with the quality, time, and effort put into a student’s work. Impatience is measured through social discount rates, which are used to determine a person’s patience by showing whether or not they are more inclined to take money in the present rather than in the future. Impatient students, who have higher discount rates, are less persistent and ambitious. These students
focus on quick gratification in the present rather than benefits in the future. Therefore, impatient Stuyvesant students miss out on the learning process and experiences that could further benefit their education.
Behaviors caused by impatience decrease the quality of a Stuyvesant student’s education. In a series of interviews, 70 percent of educators reported shortened attention spans among students due to media usage. Impatient students are more inclined to have poor decision-making skills, which means mistakes dictate their education instead of personal choice. As a result, these students are 50 percent more inclined to drop out of school, despite wanting to graduate. Impatient students are less educated, which will eventually lead to fewer occupational opportunities than their patient counterparts.
How impatience affects a student’s education is not the only significant issue that needs to be addressed. Stuyvesant students’ decreased capacity for patience hinders their ability to discover meaningful experiences, and the school’s never-ending assignments don’t improve the situation either. Students chase enter-
extensive, but evidence has shown that there is an association between parental regret and a harsher, more rejecting attitude toward children. Over time, children can feel emotional neglect if their parents consistently display a lack of emotions toward them. In addition, because children are still in their development stages, they can often internalize the lack of interest from their mothers or fathers as their own fault. This perception can then lead to lifelong childhood trauma. In fact, a national study found that childhood emotional neglect could show up in adulthood as a distorted sense of self, inability to trust others, and stress internalization, possibly causing mental health disorders such as depression, substance use, and personality disorders in the long run.
However, if society didn’t make good parenting so hard in the first place, there wouldn’t be this many regretful parents. Parental resentment and regret often occur when a parent does not have enough time for themselves or enough support available to take care of their children. In order to alleviate the manifestations of parental neglect, there needs to be a whole set of structural changes. Access to reproductive choice, so that women actually have the power to choose whether or not they want to carry a pregnancy to term and raise a child, is a must. Evidence has shown that higher rates of parental regret are associated with lower access to abortion. Additionally, mothers whose children were born as a consequence of abortion denial reported feeling difficulty bonding and feeling trapped in their situation.
There also needs to be individualized treatment for parental burnout and greater awareness of this issue. People need to know that they are not alone in feeling regretful about their children. Only after recognizing their own feelings can people make the proper changes. Furthermore, new policies need to be put in place regarding childcare, family leave, work schedules, and gender pay. Currently, no federal laws require paid family or sick leave, and without accessible childcare or economic support, low-income parents often suffer from financial insecurity. This situation can lead to greater amounts of stress and regret for having children.
Feeling parental regret shouldn’t be a shameful topic. Society needs to be more open about this feeling, as it will only help address the issue at its core and circulate more realistic expectations of parents. It is only then that parents will feel less pressured to raise their children perfectly and not allow themselves to be subsumed by the expectations of parenthood.
tainment after entertainment in search of happiness, only to learn that the satisfaction is short-lived. Students rush through their days trying to find happiness, utilizing speed in an attempt to reach their goals. Whether they are trying to complete tasks or satisfy their need for instant gratification through technology, meaningful moments are missed. Stuyvesant students overlook the brief, beautiful moments in life because the emphasis on speed and technology produces impatient students. This impatience creates an inability to focus on meaningful experiences that don’t result in instant satisfaction, and therefore, students miss those special moments.
In order to achieve educational success and strive toward happiness, Stuyvesant students need to relearn patience. Similar to every other skill, patience takes time and practice. In such a fast society and school environment, Stuyvesant students may feel rushed and overwhelmed. The most useful way to practice patience is to slow down. A study on the benefits of patience found that across 400 students, those who were more patient were also more hopeful and satisfied with their lives. Tools like mindfulness
and meditation can allow students to slow down and remain present. Mindfulness was found to improve the focus of 83 percent and the engagement of 79 percent of students. Stuyvesant students can use opportunities such as train rides and free periods to take deep breaths and observe, allowing them to fit mindfulness into their daily schedules. Stuyvesant can implement mindfulness as part of the curriculum every now and then to help students become more patient in an impatient and fast environment.
The environment at Stuyvesant is impatient, as students are constantly jumping from one assignment to another. In a school powered by technology and speed, and as students dependent on immediate gratification, Stuyvesant students would greatly benefit from learning patience in order to see themselves succeed at school and later in adulthood. Preventing negative ramifications of impatience may not be a priority for Stuyvesant students, but we need to recognize that impatience will inevitably play a negative role in our lives. Practicing patience now can eventually lead to a better school experience and an overall improvement in emotional wellbeing.
From comedic children’s movies such as Monsters University to feminist romances like Legally Blonde, Hollywood loves to glamorize the experience of Greek life. or, the role of fraternities and sororities on college campuses.. Impressions of lifelong friendships and nonstop entertainment are portrayed as reality to the audience. However, the actuality of Greek life can be dangerous. Students are calling for action from universities to address these hazards and form regulations.
Within the Greek system, there are subdivisions. Fraternities are for males only, whereas sororities are for females only, which is why the terms “brotherhood” and “sisterhood” are commonly used for the respective organizations. Fraternities and sororities tend to become quite popular due to the attraction of being part of a selective community. Yet the representation of nonbinary and transgender students in fraternities and sororities is extremely limited due to the gender-restricting standards put in place. At the University of Pennsylvania, none of the members of Penn NonCis, a group devoted to transgender students, are part of any fraternities or sororities. To combat this, fraternities and sororities have started accepting transgender and nonbinary students. For instance, Sigma Phi Epsilon adopted a clear transgender policy in 2015. The increasing adoption of inclusivity will hopefully inspire other Greek life institutions to do the same, pushing them to
be more accessible to all identities.
To become part of a fraternity, one has to go through the process of pledging, which is the time between a bid (an invitation of acceptance) and initiation into the fraternity. Often, this process can last several weeks and be-
Substance abuse is already common within fraternities, with nearly half of fraternity members showing symptoms of alcohol use disorder by the age of 35. During hazing, drinking is taken to a further extreme, quickly becoming deadly. Universities can address the issue of hazing by
added to an individual’s drink without their knowledge. These drugs are colorless and tasteless, and they are frequently used for sexual assault, which is why they are also called “date rape drugs.”
A study led by John Foubert, Jerry Tatum, and J.T. Newberry found that fraternity men were three times more likely to commit rape than non-fraternity men at colleges. Furthermore, statistics have revealed that one in five women will be sexually assaulted while they are in college.
clubs that students can join to engage in their community, such as religious clubs, service organizations, and sports teams. They demonstrate that schools without Greek life can still prosper socially and academically.
By SAOREACE JOHNSONBoxing. Wrestling. Mixed Martial Arts (MMA). Most people associate these words with violence, blood, risk, and injury. However, these types of martial arts are so much more than the danger they are associated with. Mixed Martial Arts is my escape from the world. The art of MMA has entered my life and sparked a burning ambition inside me. Martial arts has given me a kind of hope that I cannot seem to find elsewhere.
I am repeatedly told that MMA is futile simply because of the possibility of injury. The media portrays martial arts as dangerous because of how aggressive they seem. Since martial arts revolve around striking the other person and engaging in physical contact, people often view it as violent. Because of this violence, one is more prone to injury. However, what many people fail to realize is that martial arts provide the opportunity to gain confidence through self defense, as well as mental clarity that cannot be found elsewhere.
Often, in action movies such as The Karate Kid, the plot centers around the violence and competitive nature of karate, portraying martial arts in a negative light. These movies are focused on the idea that martial arts is about competition. In reality, the martial arts community is extremely supportive. Even in matches or when sparring, it is not about the
comes intense with challenges of drinking and staying awake for excessive periods of time.
Notably, hazing can be any activity during which an individual is humiliated, degraded, or abused to join a group. It can be disastrous, even leading to death if actions are taken too far. At Penn State University, one of the most well-known party schools in the nation, an incident occurred during a fraternity’s pledge acceptance ceremony.
Timothy Piazza, a 19-year-old sophomore, died from traumatic brain injuries after falling down the stairs from heavy drinking.
controlling the circulation of alcohol and enforcing stricter rules that prohibit the facilitation of hazing. Furthermore, a trusted staff member should be involved in fraternities, ensuring that the safety of students is prioritized. Universities should communicate with their student body to effectively form the distinction between safe and dangerous pledging.
Alongside the practice of hazing, drugging and sexual assault are prevalent in Greek life. Drugging someone, often nicknamed “roofing,” is when Rohypnol or a similar drug is
As drug distribution becomes less and less noticeable, being proactive about safety can be lifesaving. Keeping watch over drinks is especially important, and inventions have been created to make this precaution easier. Nightcap, a scrunchie that can be worn on the wrist and transformed into a drink cover when needed, makes it harder for drink spiking to occur. Greek life institutions should also take steps to prevent drugging and sexual assault from occurring at their parties. Members should speak and act against anything suspicious they see, as well as participate in sexual assault awareness workshops, a step that Kappa Alpha Order is taking at UC Berkeley. The top priority at universities should be the safety of students, and Greek life needs to put more emphasis on this focus.
Some universities, such as the University of Notre Dame and Boston College, do not have Greek life. These universities offer the same social expansion and professional opportunities that fraternities and sororities do. However, they do so through specific groups. There are several
victory or the outcome, but about how you can grow in your skill and constantly improve. When you are sparring or in a match, the “attacking” stays in that match. The most important rule you learn in martial arts is that these methods cannot be repeated outside of the class unless necessary. The media often portrays instances of violent outbursts resulting from martial arts, but these are not as common as people believe.
Martial arts is such an incredible sport because it can support your growth both physically and mentally. Of course, MMA will make you physically strong and confident in your body, but it can also improve your mental health. Many teens and high school students face the burden of managing grades, balancing their social lives, and developing a sleep schedule. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, about one in three adolescents faces anxiety. While professionals have developed many coping mechanisms, martial arts allows you to lose sight of your daily struggles. The training sessions require your complete focus, which enables you to let go of all the negativity present in your life. While this effect is apparent in other sports, MMA specifically emphasizes the importance of mental clarity, not only through letting go of your stress, but also through the development of alertness. In martial arts, you must train your mind to keep focus. With this
concentration, you can better succeed in certain fights and matches. From the concentration, selfawareness emerges, which allows one to be calmer and contradicts the idea that martial arts promote aggressiveness.
Our world is becoming increasingly dangerous. According to the NYPD, violent crime rates have increased by 19.91 percent over the past 12 years. This situation is why martial arts are vital. When faced with certain situations, martial arts give people the confidence needed to respond appropriately. Martial arts can teach people how to stay calm and prepare themselves for dangerous situations. I am comforted by knowing that I am capable of defending myself. It is at these times when the “violence” people associate with martial arts becomes a powerful tool.
Practicing MMA is so much more meaningful than people give it credit for. Everyone should try it at some point in their life. Through martial arts, you are able to be more present and improve your mental clarity, as well as develop ways to protect yourself. Whether you practice it once a month or almost every day, you will reap the benefits of a less stressful life, along with the powerful support you gain from your peers. Everyone deserves a less stressful life, along with the confidence that is developed when studying martial arts.
Greek life has been around since 1825, almost 200 years of brotherhood and sisterhood. Despite the frequent occurrence of hazing-related deaths and incidents of roofing in the media, these institutions can serve a great purpose if regulated properly. Fraternities and sororities can create meaningful connections that form lifelong friendships. Additionally, decades of Greek life at universities allow alumni to help current students through business opportunities and college guidance. Members can give back to their communities and learn humility through the act of community service. Annually, Greek life organizations raise over $7 million nationally and provide 10 million hours of community service.
Greek life has the potential to fulfill the purpose it was created for if reformations ensue. Universities have already begun addressing Greek life conflicts and instating policies for increased safety. Some argue that there is no solution to make Greek life safe and that abolition is the answer, but that measure would be extremely difficult, as fraternities and sororities are century-old institutions that are immensely popular among college students. Instead, discussion between universities and the student body, parents, and staff is a more realistic way to uphold the original purpose of Greek life.
From roasted turkey to casserole to pie, holiday dinners have plenty of rich and heavy dishes to load up with—perhaps too many. The average Christmas dinner in the U.S. weighs in at nearly 3,300 calories—around 1,000 more than the recommended daily caloric intake. This level of consumption can seem shocking when looking only at calories. In fact, a 2021 study of 2,000 respondents found that the average American adult expected to gain eight pounds over the holiday season. However, the belief that a few days of eating too much food can cause sudden and even lasting weight gain is a common misconception.
In reality, it takes an excess of 3,500 calories to gain a single pound of fat. To gain eight pounds, one would need to consume 28,000 extra calories over the holiday season. Most people evidently do not do this, as a 2016 New England Journal of Medicine study found that the average American adult gains just 0.4 percent of their body weight during the holiday season. This amounts
to less than a pound for both men and women—far less than the expected eight pounds.
If weight gain isn’t a terribly big concern in the short run, does that mean that going all out during the holidays does not come with any immediate consequences? Not necessarily.
To overeat is to consume an inappropriately large amount of calories under a given energy expenditure. Overeating at the holiday table often produces varying levels of discomfort. In a 2022 study, 39 percent of respondents indicated that they had eaten until they felt sick during a holiday season. This discomfort results from changes that the body must make to accommodate the intake of abnormally large volumes of food.
First, the stomach must expand, causing it to push against other organs. Excessive gas production in the stomach can further increase feelings of tightness. Holiday meals often have foods that are higher in fat than what one might usually eat for dinner. Fat, being insoluble in water, takes longer for the stomach to digest, and thus contributes to bloating. Consuming carbonated
drinks (even those with low or no calories) and eating too quickly, which causes air to enter the digestive tract, also worsen the problem.
After overeating, the body also secretes higher levels of various hormones and enzymes to increase metabolism and digest food faster. Expansion of the stomach produces gastrin, a hormone that stimulates the release of hydrochloric acid and other digestive enzymes. During overeating, hydrochloric acid can flow back up through the esophagus, which causes heartburn. An increase in metabolism can also cause feelings of sweating and dizziness.
While the physiological changes that occur after one incidence of overeating eventually pass, chronic overeating can still lead to unhealthy weight gain and its effects, including slowed digestion, hormonal and circadian imbalances, and other health issues.
However, this doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t enjoy yourself during the holidays, though you may want to consider your physical comfort before indulging in every holiday dish. Taking the
time to savor every bite can make holiday meals a lot more comfortable. It takes about 20 minutes from the onset of a meal for the brain to react to the hormone leptin released by fat tissue, at which point, the brain sends out signals of satiety. Eating slower gives your body enough time to recognize when you are full, limiting how much you overeat. It can also reduce bloating by decreasing how much air you swallow.
To limit overeating, avoid fasting before a holiday dinner.
Sitting in front of a feast while feeling extremely hungry may cause you to eat more just for dinner than you might have eaten for a whole day if you hadn’t fasted. It may also help to not think of decadent holiday foods as strictly limited to the holiday season.
Knowing that you can enjoy, say, candied sweet potatoes in reasonable portions anytime in the year might make it less tempting to eat an unhealthy large quantity of them at the holiday dinner table.
Ultimately, the holidays are a time to appreciate those around us, and showing everyone’s dish some love is a great way to demonstrate this gratuity. However,
The crime drama genre grew a large media presence in the 1950s and has maintained its popularity since then.
From Bonnie and Clyde, a 1967 crime drama classic, to Criminal Minds, the most-streamed TV series of 2021, the genre holds an irreplaceable role in society.
Watching crime-focused media gives people the freedom to experience fear and satisfy their adrenaline cravings in an environment they can control.
Psychologist Chivonna Childs,
Ph.D., finds that many crimewatchers feel as though crime dramas teach them about the psychopathy of criminals and thus better avoid becoming victims. However, the information presented in these shows is not always entirely factual. A myth often perpetuated in crime dramas, including Criminal Minds, is the Macdonald triad, a set of three factors—fire-setting, cruelty toward animals, and enuresis (involuntary bedwetting)— misunderstood to accurately predict serial killers and other violent offenders.
In 1963, forensic psychiatrist John M. Macdonald introduced this theory in “The Threat to Kill,” an article published in the American Journal of Psychiatry. While acknowledging the influence of childhood trauma in psychopathic development, he recognized that three factors in childhood—fire-setting, cruelty towards animals, and enuresis—were commonly seen in children who later exhibited violence. Macdonald noted this idea in a report on 100 patients at the Colorado Psychopathic Hospital. The patients varied in
gender and ranged from age 11 to 83, with roughly half being categorized as psychotic. The sole basis of Macdonald’s report was that all these patients were admitted after making a threat to kill. While Macdonald recognized animal cruelty, firesetting, and enuresis as prominent childhood behaviors for most of the patients, he provided no quantitative foundation for this commonality as he considered it a mere generalization. However, his fellow researchers took his findings as a declaration that the aforementioned
Rising from your morning slumber, you already have your routine planned out. You slide your slippers on and stumble into the bathroom as you attempt to orient yourself. With eyes still half-closed, you reach for the toothpaste and squeeze a sliver onto your toothbrush. The light blue gel glistens on the soft bristles. As you raise the brush to your lips, the substance that has been a staple in your daily life suddenly turns foreign… What am I even putting in my mouth?
While toothpaste is relatively novel, dental hygiene has been a common practice for thousands of years. In fact, the oldest recorded toothpaste formula dates back to the Egyptians in 4 AD, during which they used a cleaning powder composed of rock salt, mint, pepper, and iris flowers. While primitive in nature, it was extremely effective in actually cleaning teeth as most of the materials have modern-day counterparts.
As trivial as it may seem on a day-to-day basis, dental hygiene is extremely important in preventing the buildup of bacteria. A buildup of plaque, which is a sticky substance formed from the mixing of saliva and leftover food, can cause stained teeth, tooth de-
cay, bad breath, gum disease, and long-term health problems.
The products we have now, which come from the culmina tion of the slow evolution and the perfected result of years of trial and error, play a ma jor role in maintaining those pearly whites. Modern-day toothpaste, also known as dentifrices, may have small varia tions in their compositions but are gener ally made of the same four ingre dients: humec tants, abrasives, fluoride, and de tergents. The key ingredi ents, humec tants, do not directly cleanse one’s teeth, but role is not any less important. Common humectants found in big-name brands include sub stances such as sorbitol, glycerin, and glycol. Essentially, these are fancy words for substances used to reduce loss of moisture, which is especially significant in maintaining the structural integrity of toothpaste. Coupled with thickeners like cellulose gum, humectants help produce that iconic gel-like and smooth texture of
The next ingredient found in toothpaste is abrasives, some of which include calcium carbonate, dehydrated silica gels, or hydrated aluminum oxides. These compounds play a direct role in removing stains and food debris. Think of these abrasives as tiny scrubs that complement the bristles of the brush to help polish the surface of the teeth. They accomplish this by gently scrubbing away the microorganisms and plaque, which cannot be done with water alone. Compared to abrasives used in ancient times, such as crushed eggs or oyster shells, presentday additives are a lot gentler. Abrasives essentially grind the enamel, or the outer cover, of your teeth. Too much of this, however, can whittle down the teeth and cause tooth sensitivity. As such, high amounts of abrasives can be harmful in the long run and present a major caveat to brushing too hard.
Arguably the most important ingredient in contemporary toothpaste brands is fluoride. When bacteria start building up, they produce acids and sulfur byproducts that can wear down
the tooth, leading to decay and cavities. To prevent this, fluoride remineralizes the enamel. Once the fluoride is absorbed by the tooth, it promotes the absorption of other minerals such as calcium and phosphate ions found in the saliva. By attracting these ions, the fluoride rebuilds the surface while also strengthening the enamel and making it more resistant to being dissolved. There are three main types of fluoride used in the formation of toothpaste: stannous, sodium, and sodium monofluorophosphate. While each serves to prevent cavities and bad breath, they also act as alternatives that focus on specific aspects. The main difference between these inorganic molecules comes from their compositions. Stannous fluoride is generally regarded as far more productive. As an antibacterial agent, stannous fluoride directly removes bacteria from the enamel and the gums rather than mechanically brushing them away, allowing for a deeper clean. On the other hand, it is a less stable molecule and is known to cause teeth to stain in the long run.
The final major cleaning component of toothpaste is detergents, coming in the form of sodium lauryl sulfate. This synthetic detergent is a surface active agent, or surfactant, and helps remove insoluble substances from the
On November 15, 2022, our world population reached 8 billion people, increasing concerns surrounding environmental sustainability and social developments.
Last week, Hawaii’s Mauna Loa Volcano erupted. As of December 3, its lava flow seems to be reaching dangerously close to a major highway that connects both sides of the island but has not posed a significant danger to surrounding communities.
you can still be mindful of how your body is feeling as you pile on your plate. That is, you may find yourself enjoying the holidays more by feasting less.
behaviors were sound indicators of homicidal tendencies, an idea they then coined as the Macdonald, or homicidal, triad.
Soon after, in 1966, psychologists Daniel S. Hellman and Nathan Blackman found a correlation between the triad and violence in a study on 84 prisoners, whose results could not be replicated by other researchers. As a result, MacDonald reasserted his hesitancy to-
mouth, functioning very similarly to everyday soap products. A surfactant has a hydrophobic—or water-repelling—tail and a hydrophilic—or water-attracting—head. When the surfactant comes into contact with these insoluble substances, the hydrophobic tail surrounds it. With the heads on the outside, water washing through is able to clear the debris away. Surfactants are also the cause of the generic bubbling effect when the toothpaste is spread around the teeth.
There are, of course, countless other components that make up toothpaste as we know it today. While good for the teeth, detergents and fluoride aren’t necessarily pleasant tasting to most people. As a result, many brands add flavors—including spicy flavors such as mint or cinnamon-clove, or fruity flavors such as lemon and peach—concocted through a mixture of chemicals to satisfy consumers’ tastes. Overall, toothpaste, while seemingly simple in nature, provides the foundation for basic dental hygiene. From egg shells to the ingredients we use now, the composition of toothpaste is constantly changing throughout the development of human civilization as we gain a better understanding of the ways our bodies work.
Uranus, the butt of all planetary science jokes. Despite its unfortunate name, planetary scientists from across the country named Uranus “one of the most intriguing bodies in the solar system” in a nationwide survey this April. The scientists agreed that a trip to Uranus should be planetary exploration’s first priority. This is a great feat for the underappreciated planet, which was visited for the first and only time in 1986. In fact, Uranus is so mysterious that its long-time categorization as an ice giant—an enormous planet made of elements heavier than hydrogen or helium—might not even be true.
Recent interest in Uranus was expressed through the decadal survey, which gathers a committee of planetary scientists once a decade to propose missions that NASA should undertake. This survey is organized by the National Academy of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine at the request of NASA. While NASA and Congress, which funds NASA, are not bound to the survey, its top mission priorities are almost always carried out.
At a virtual town hall on August 18th, shortly after the decadal survey released on April 19th, NASA announced that they were working toward initiating a trip to Uranus, along with a very rough timeline for the mission. The trip to Uranus has been deemed a flagship mission, or one reserved exclusively for NASA’s most distinguished spacecraft, and will thus take a long time to get off the ground. According to the timeline, studies could begin as early as the fiscal year 2023, launch in the early 2030s, and arrival in the 2040s.
Such a trip was proposed largely to answer the many mysteries surrounding Uranus: its
extreme axial tilt, its odd magnetic field, its interior, which is suspected to be most likely ice or rock, and more. More importantly, many exoplanets, or planets beyond our solar system, are around the same size as Uranus. This means that a trip to Uranus would allow us to study planets of a class that abounds in our galaxy. Certain exoplanets, for example, may show signs of life that we can interpret and explore further, making the potential value of the mission far beyond our expectations.
Topping the decadal survey truly is an accomplishment for lowly Uranus, which, aside from being known as the solar system’s backside, has also been publicized as excessively boring. As Forbes put it in 2017, when
able to produce its own internal heat. The only heat it has is from the Sun, leaving its upper atmosphere at an unwavering 58 kelvins.
Don’t stop reading yet, however. Voyager 2 visited Uranus at its solstice, when the planet was at its most shy. Uranus is the only planet in the solar system to rotate on its side, with even its rings and moons orbiting perpendicular to the plane of the solar system. Around Uranus’s solstices—the points in a planet’s orbit at which its axis of rotation is directed toward the star it orbits—hypothetical aliens in Uranus’s north pole bask in long-time sunlight while those in the south huddle in the dark. During Uranus’s equinoxes—the points at which a planet’s slanted axis is not
astronomers during its 2007 equinox with a new suit. As Uranus moves toward equinox and the south pole cools off in a long overdue night, the methane haze sinks into the lower atmosphere, leaving the uppermost layer transparent the following day. This revealed a number of exciting features: a vast stormy cloud cap over the north pole, atmospheric bands of contrasting color, Neptunelike cloud activity, and even 13 faint rings, likely from shattered or spaghettified moons. And yes, spaghettification is a real astronomical term that describes the state of an object being vertically stretched as it encounters extreme gravitational fields.
By visiting Uranus, insight into its unusual seasons will
This revealed a number of exciting features: a vast stormy cloud cap over the north pole, atmospheric bands of contrasting color, Neptunelike cloud activity, and even 13 faint rings, likely from shattered or spaghettified moons. And yes, spaghettification is a real astronomical term.
the legendary interstellar probe Voyager 2 flew past the planet in 1986, “the most remarkable part of the story was how unremarkable Uranus appeared.”
Indeed, while the 70s and 80s were rife with extravagant photos of planets like Jupiter with its swirling cloud stripes or Mars with its grand ice caps, Uranus appeared to be nothing more than a pale blue dot.
The explanation for its plainness seemed simple.
Though Uranus can fit roughly 68 Earth within its volume, it is minuscule compared to Saturn and Jupiter, rendering it un-
tilted toward the star it orbits— aliens in the south pole see the Sun for the first time in decades and find themselves experiencing both night and day. Decades? Indeed: Uranus takes 84 Earth years to orbit the sun.
As for the reason why Uranus’s photographic debut in 1986 fell flat, Uranus’s temperatures during solstice produce a haze of methane, which floats to the top of Uranus’s atmosphere and hides exciting activity below. In fact, this methane haze makes up only one percent of Uranus’ atmosphere.
However, Uranus surprised
certainly be valuable, though there are equally great mysteries ahead. Uranus shocked researchers when Voyager 2 revealed that the line connecting the planet’s magnetic north and south poles was tilted 59 degrees to the planet’s axis of rotation, instead of lining up roughly with the planet’s poles. Oddly enough, Neptune has a similarly misguided magnetic field. The reason why remains unknown.
Scientists aren’t certain about how Uranus ended up with its lopsided rotation. The general opinion is that Uranus
It’s Sunday night. There is a stack of untouched homework due the following day. This situation is all too common among students, whether they be high schoolers at Stuyvesant or college students. Though procrastination is often associated with pupils, those in the workforce can also have this harmful habit. So, how do we prevent this?
To eliminate procrastination, many methods can be introduced into an individual’s daily life. One of these is the Pomodoro Technique.
The Pomodoro Technique was invented in the 1980s by Francesco Cirillo, who was a university student at the time. The technique utilizes a combination of productive time blocks and short breaks. It consists of four sets of 25-minute work periods, known as pomodoros, which are separated by five-minute breaks. After completing the four sets of intensive work, the individual is rewarded with a longer rest time
that ranges from 15 to 30 minutes. By combining this method with a to-do list, tasks can be organized by the amount of time they take to complete. For instance, an assignment that may take over four pomodoros can be divided into smaller chunks.
Conversely, smaller tasks that can be completed in less than one pomodoro are combined with other short tasks.
The simplicity of this technique is what allows it to be successful in reducing procrastination. Though procrastination is often associated with laziness, it is human nature to avoid unpleasant tasks that create negative feelings. The Pomodoro Technique shrinks these daunting tasks into smaller, manageable steps. This creates an atmosphere that helps to focus on the task at hand, rather than stressing over the assignment’s deadline and procrastinating.
The consistent scheduling of tasks leads to the smaller components being completed in a structure where the entire task is finished before one knows it.
In addition to the work periods, the short breaks between them are designed to keep a person’s attention focused on one task for 25 minutes straight. Alejandro Lleras, a psychology professor at the University of Illinois, led a study that concluded that short breaks help keep one’s attention span on track. The addition of short breaks is especially beneficial as technology has become an integral part of our daily lives. With distractions constantly coming from our devices, such as notifications popping up on our smartphones from social media, having brief breaks can increase productivity. While the process seems counterintuitive, it helps individuals stay focused on the task in the long term. Working continuously on the same task without rest prompts cognitive boredom. As a result, the individual’s disengagement disrupts their workflow.
The short breaks between work go beyond helping an individual maintain focus through boring tasks; it provides moti-
vation and a goal for the individual to achieve. The breaks act as incentives for a student to get through the 25 minutes of work. These 25 minutes are then uninterrupted and solely intended to get as much of a task done as possible before receiving the reward. Dr. Adam Gazzaley, a neuroscientist, and Dr. Larry D. Rosen, a psychologist, explain that the shorter the time between rewards, the stronger the motivation to complete the behavior. Therefore, the time allocated to each pomodoro and break is optimal for inducing a focused environment.
The Pomodoro Technique also discourages multitasking, a form of work that is often considered labor-saving. Multitasking is often more harmful than beneficial, as it can take a serious toll on an individual’s productivity. The human brain is not equipped for performing multiple tasks simultaneously, so while people feel like they are multitasking, they are actually often switching from
was battered by various space rocks early in its formation until it flipped onto its side. However, recent research suggests that the loss of a large moon early in its life could have done the trick. The fact that the other planets emerged with stubbornly upright positions despite suffering severe astronomical beatings has typically been explained by Uranus’s bad luck.
Perhaps most embarrassingly for planetary scientists, Uranus might not be an ice giant after all. The current belief is that Uranus is composed of mostly liquid water, methane, and ammonia. Yet, a mixture of rock and gas shares a similar density with this trio, meaning that planetary scientists could have actually been observing rock and gas all along. It’s possible that if Uranus and Neptune formed from the collision of rock-dominated objects as opposed to the slow collection of ice floating on dust grains by gravity, these planets would be more rocky than icy, making them rock giants.
Ultimately, Uranus is long overdue on a checkup, and the fact that it is finally getting one after being pushed to the back burner in favor of Mars missions and the James Webb Telescope is no small feat for the underdog planet. Over the next few decades, we may see gorgeous photos of the planet, a fair number of news articles on Uranus’s surprises, a number of additions to textbooks describing ice giants, and maybe even an alien or two on one of Uranus’s moons, which are fascinating worlds in their own ways. In the meantime, the best that space enthusiasts can do is twiddle their thumbs and hope that NASA makes it to Uranus by 2045. After all, an equinox is approaching, and that methane haze only stays transparent for so long.
one task to another. A study conducted by the University of California, Irvine showed that it took approximately 23 minutes and 15 seconds to completely refocus after switching tasks. The implementation of the Pomodoro Technique eliminates the need for someone to feel like they must multitask.
The workflow of the Pomodoro Technique is largely fueled by the self-reward system that is geared toward simple human nature. With distractions and procrastination kept in check, students and workers can feel confident in their ability to complete even the most complex tasks. As students become burnt out as the year progresses, the Pomodoro Technique provides a helpful solution. The extensive to-do lists on your notes app will be blank in no time. The next time you sit down to complete your homework or study for your tests, consider implementing the Pomodoro Technique to maximize efficiency and save time for leisure.
Language is unique to humans. While our closest animal relatives, primates, have a similar vocal mechanism to humans, they are unable to learn and understand language. We are the only species to have developed a specific way of organizing and combining words into sentences to construct complex messages.
The language acquisition of children initially learning their native language is remarkable for its speed and ease. By the time children enter kindergarten, they already know many grammatical intricacies. This early language learning occurs as a result of a set of brain systems that underlies human language faculty.
Dating back to the 19th century, neurolinguistics studies have found specific parts of the brain that are related to language processing and comprehension. Broca’s area, located in the frontal cortex, is responsible for the processing of sensory information and the movement of the mouth. Wernicke’s area, held in the posterior superior temporal lobe of the left hemisphere of the brain, ensures that language
Chen / The Spectatormakes sense to the receiver. Both areas are connected by a bundle of nerve fibers called arcuate fas-
the words, and then information is transported through arcuate fasciculus to Broca’s area where
claim the validity of the theory in his book, Homicidal Threats. Despite an absence of corroboration in research studies, the FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit adopted the theory to aid their investigations in the 1970s. With television shows, films, and books frequently drawing inspiration from this time period, mentions of the unprovable homicidal triad are inevitable. The lack of empirical
ciculus, and together, this brain mechanism controls our language ability and comprehension of speech. In order to understand language, the brain has to process different inputs including acoustic, phonological, syntactic, and semantic information. First, neurons in Wernicke’s area check if sentences are grammatically correct and encode the meaning of
they are prepared and signaled to become physically articulated. The whole sequence of thoughtto-speech only takes 600 milliseconds! This uniquely human achievement starts with infants’ ability to perceive and focus on sounds important for language.
Two decades of neural and behavioral studies along with rapid advances in noninvasive
technologies have supplied a great deal of data. Children acquire their native language at around the same time and in stages: babbling, monosyllabic one-word sentences or holophrastic speech, and telegraphic speech that is characterized by short three-word phrases. By the time they turn five, children’s linguistic repertoires have increased to thousands of words. By then, they have also absorbed all the rules and sounds of the language. With this accelerated progression, it is often erroneously assumed that children are being “instructed” on how to speak their language. While caregivers’ influences are vital for language development, children appear to experiment with sentence constructions by themselves. Children can also infer grammatical relationships through exposure to language without being explicitly taught. Interestingly enough, this process of language acquisition by children found its way into the progression of natural language processing and machine learning. A language processing study conducted by three Stanford Ph.D. students utilized a model called Bidirectional Encoder Repre-
support for the phenomenon has proved futile in lessening its omnipresence in the media and academic settings.
All the while, other researchers have taken a different approach in response to MacDonald’s research, using it as preliminary evidence of the extensive manifestations of childhood abuse. Studies confirm that animal cruelty, setting fires, and enuresis are all products of psychological and physical parental abuse. Children who are subjected to traumatic experi-
ences need outlets where they can preserve a sense of autonomy and control. Not only can they exert their power by inflicting suffering upon animals, but they can express their anger and alleviate stress by setting fires. Enuresis, though involuntary, is also a direct response to abuse, specifically sexual assault. The behaviors of the triad are purely reactions to childhood abuse, while its overarching effect is the development of psychopathy. In plain terms, toxic parental relationships instill
in victimized children a desire to recreate abusive situations. This fosters violent behavior of varying levels, going as far as, and sometimes even surpassing, homicide. Therefore, the correlation between the three behaviors and homicidal tendencies is simply a byproduct of the causal relationship between abusive childhoods and psychopathic tendencies. These nuances are rarely represented in crime dramas that serve to entertain, rather than teach.
Though it may seem strange,
sentations from Transformers to mirror how human children learn languages without adults teaching them grammar or syntax. The model used a Mad Libs approach to train itself by making associations to similar words and connecting them to the overall sentence structure. This process is similar to the learning patterns of human children, where selforganization and flexible learning of grammar structures are utilized.
Cracking the code of language to convey infinite ideas, thoughts, and emotions from a finite set of sounds and words is remarkable. It is a feat of the human mind that no other animal or machine has mastered. Though early mastery of the phonetic units of language requires learning in a social context, there is little doubt that our brain is specially equipped for the acquisition of human language. In particular, young children are superior language learners—their language acquisition is seemingly effortless and mostly automatic. Language acquisition is an ever-expanding field and our understanding of its process is far from over.
people are inclined to indulge in such frightful and thrilling entertainment to feel empowered. Humans are innately curious, but struggle to understand the mysterious and taboo phenomenon of evil, which we often feel helpless to. The systematic nature of the crime genre leaves viewers feeling more secure and prepared in their own fights against evil. Unfortunately, this reality is not always true due to the fallacies perpetuated through the crime drama genre.
Rick Grimes (Andrew Lincoln) is running for his life in Atlanta, unloading on an avid horde of zombies who have started to gruesomely devour his newlybefriended horse. He escapes and finds his way into an abandoned tank, entering through the bottom trapdoor. But with no food or ammunition, things seem hopeless. Unable to end his life, he waits for the zombies to infiltrate his sanctuary. Then, a radio starts buzzing.
“Hey, you. Dumbass. Yeah, you in the tank, cozy in there?”
The Walking Dead was originally a 2003 Image Comics series created by writer Robert Kirkman and artist Tony Moore that ran for over 15 years, ending in 2019 with 193 issues. The television adaptation ran for over 12 years, with the series finale airing on November 20, 2022. The show follows Sheriff Rick Grimes after he wakes up from a coma in an abandoned hospital. He soon finds out that the human population has been infected with a virus that turns them into mindless, flesh-eating zombies. Eventually, Grimes reunites with his wife Lori (Sarah Wayne Callies) and his son Carl (Chandler Riggs). The rest of the series follow the three, as well as other remaining survivors, through the world of the walking dead.
The series was an instant smash-hit the day it aired. Brought into fruition during the early-to-mid 2000s when the film industry became saturated with zombie classics like 28 Days Later (2003), Dawn of the Dead (2004), and Shaun of the Dead (2004),
the series quickly capitalized on the zombie craze, growing rapidly in popularity. The show’s award-winning makeup team was
Along with this, the show manages to improve on the source material in certain plot points. One such improvement is with Shane
restore faith in a hopeless situation, adding depth to what might have otherwise been an overused, cynical, apocalyptic tone.
especially commended for their realistic depiction of the severely decomposed walkers. Additionally, its thrilling action sequences in combination with its resilient protagonists made for a visually appealing and entertaining show. Stomach-churning scenes that followed beloved characters like Michonne (Danai Gurira), Daryl (Norman Reedus), and Carol (Melissa McBride) slicing walkers in half and fighting other survivors made the series an addictive watch.
The Walking Dead is infamous for its shocking scenes and unpredictable twists. From Rick himself killing rogue members of his own group to heartbreaking death scenes of beloved characters, the show makes it clear to viewers that nobody is safe.
(Jon Bernthal), whose intriguing multi-season story arc, which included a captivating love triangle with Rick and Lori, attracted millions of fans who may have not been too enthused by the gory nature of the show. If the show had stayed true to the original comics, Shane would have died by the fourth episode, which would have detrimentally impacted the show’s success. Bernthal’s performance was a high point of each episode, as he captured his character’s guilt, obsessiveness, and deteriorating humanity. Shane’s ruthless savagery, which develops out of a desperation to survive, served as the perfect foil to Rick’s hope and goodwill. Shane’s dynamic with the rest of the cast also intrigued viewers, as it depicted humans fighting to
The Walking Dead’s popularity lasted for seven seasons before interest in the series took a nosedive. Data from Nielsen Media Research suggests that seasons three through seven consistently retained over 10 million viewers, whereas the final season was unable to attract over two million each week. According to many fans, this decline stemmed from the introduction of Negan (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) in the finale of season six, who inadvertently exposed the problems within the show’s production. One glaring issue was the series’ excessive character deaths, due to both behind-the-scenes contractual conflicts of the cast and simply for shock factor. In multiple instances, characters who were fundamental to the show’s success and the overarching plot of the show were unnecessarily killed off. As the deaths often felt like plot devices to inject life into otherwise dull writing, viewers became aggravated at the meaningless deaths of their beloved characters. The show’s gruesome deaths resulted in a very cynical and nihilistic tone, which was further emphasized by an increasingly muted color palette, effectively turning away long-time viewers.
These deaths also contribute to another major flaw: repetitive storylines. Subsequent seasons after the fourth became formulaic as the same plot was essentially recycled. Individual charac-
Death is inevitable. So is the gravitational field of a black hole; not even light can escape, let alone a person. As the black hole sucks its helpless prey into the midnight abyss, its gravitational field facilitates the spaghettification process. Tidal forces tear at your limbs, stretching you from head to toe until you become human confetti. Here are some songs to meet your end to, surrounded by the cataclysmic chaos of deep space.
Jóhann Jóhannsson Classical
The National Indie rock Silhouette Pastel Ghost Synthpop
Nina Cried Power (feat. Mavis Staples) Hozier Indie rock
“Tomorrow’s public on-sale for Taylor Swift | The Eras Tour has been canceled.”
Rising from the torment of box office mobs and overnight stakeouts, Ticketmaster Entertainment Inc. has a chokehold on the ticket marketplace. The company was founded to expand accessibility for music and sports fans across the globe by allowing its users to digitally purchase and sell tickets, but has quickly become inaccessible to middle-class customers. Skyrocketing ticket prices, averaging $3,500 for prominent artists and bands like BTS, have molded concerts into a luxury of the wealthy. With its acts of exploitative penny-pinching, Ticketmaster provides a playground for tricky resellers to parsimoniously gas up prices once original tickets sell out.
In an attempt to conserve the reliability and legitimacy of ticket sales, Ticketmaster has a Verified Fan system for large-scale events. The tedious three-step process to becoming a Verified Fan includes lengthy registration, data analysis, and code distribution to the first customers, allowing them to finally buy tickets. However, this tyrannical website continues to maximize profits off of resales,
demonstrated by its cheap efforts to maintain the Verified Fan system. This is because Ticketmaster is paid twice the amount of fees on resold tickets.
The recent scramble to acquire concert tickets for Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour has shed light on Ticketmaster’s underlying issues. As this tour is Swift’s first concert in five years, millions of fans were determined to purchase tickets to her shows. However, the task of obtaining tickets was onerous, with many fans describing the experience as chaotic and stressful. During the purchasing process, users were instructed to input their personal information to continue to the next step. However, they received repetitive error messages and codes from the lagging website, preventing them from doing so. Ticketmaster reported that 14 million users were attempting to purchase the Tour tickets, instead of their anticipated 1.5 million.
Among those, not all users had the same intentions—many were scalpers, fraudulently utilizing cheap internet bots to rapidly purchase original tickets. The competitive spirit of the driven users led many of them to wait for six hours for a chance to purchase tickets, with many still left empty-handed after the demanding process.
Following the whirlwind of complaints about the website from enraged fans, Swift addressed the
fiasco: “It’s truly amazing that 2.4 million people got tickets, but it really pisses me off that a lot of them feel like they went through several bear attacks to get them.” Many fans continued to try to acquire tickets, with some publicly (and successfully) bartering their services, including a full tattoo sleeve in exchange for original tickets. Ticketmaster responded to the situation with a formal apology to both Swift and her fans for the horrible user experience and the cancellation of public Eras Tour ticket sales without further explanation: “Due to extraordinary high demands on ticketing systems and insufficient remaining ticket inventory to meet that demand, tomorrow’s public on-sale for Taylor Swift | The Eras Tour has been canceled.”
At the end of the day, the debacle boils down to one large blame game. It is a war between Ticketmaster and Swift. Ticketmaster, as a company, selfishly prioritized profits over the user’s experience, but what business under capitalism has not? Without any real competition for ticket sales, Ticketmaster has been gifted with the power to drop its standards comedically low with the knowledge that almost every artist will crawl right back to it. Hence, artists and fans have no other options, and are forced to accept the company’s dire antics. Even Swift,
who is equipped with knowledge of Ticketmaster’s lack of authenticity and reliability, is stuck with it. Other ticket-selling platforms, such as Eventbrite and StubHub, have little evidence proving they can handle such a grand tour. It was inevitable that Ticketmaster would take advantage of its control over the music industry, and the only way to break this agonizing ownership is through strict government intervention.
Amid the aftermath of the fiasco, the Justice Department revealed that LiveNation, Ticketmaster’s owner, is now under investigation for violations of antitrust, or anti-monopoly laws. However, the Eras Tour catastrophe was not the primary reason for this investigation. Ticketmaster was already under inspection before Swift’s situation, as it is notorious for its poor quality and tremendous fees. Pearl Jam, one of America’s biggest rock bands, faced its controversy and subsequent boycott against this ticketing giant in 1994. With the numerous scandals against Ticketmaster, the government still turned a blind eye to the looming disaster resulting from the approved merge of LiveNation and Ticketmaster in 2009.
To avoid repeating these mistakes, further investigation must lead to real action to outsmart the Big Bad Wolf of tickets.
Give You the World Steve Lacy Neo-soul Oblivion Astor Piazzolla Classical
Without You LSD and the Search for God Shoegaze
search party Jane Remover Glitch pop
Party Girl Michelle Gurevich Slowcore Floe Philip Glass Minimalist classical Skyfall Adele Soundtrack Houdini Death Grips Industrial hip hop
5-Methoxy-N,N-Dimethyl: (5-MeO-DMT)
Coil Drone
American boyband Brockhampton, founded in 2014, saw a meteoric rise to fame in 2017 for their unique sound and the chemistry between members. Their trilogy of Saturation (2017) mixtapes garnered critical acclaim and aligned them with the semi-mainstream “alternative rap” subculture alongside artists like Tyler, the Creator and Aminé. After a long history of complicated interpersonal relationships, a multi-million record deal with RCA, and countless delayed release dates, frontman Kevin Abstract has returned to tell the story of the boyband’s rise and fall.
The Family follows a different structure from the band’s previous work—for one, Abstract is front and center vocally, while the band’s crooning heartthrob Bearface handles production. Each song lasts about two minutes before suddenly cutting off or phasing into the next, giving little breathing room for listeners. The instrumentals range from dense and wild like the eclectic lead single “Big [EXPLETIVE],” to minimalistic and mellow like “Gold Teeth” and “(Back From The) Road.” The whiplash between songs creates controlled mayhem within the project, well represented in the album cover, which is a collage of easter eggs from the band’s history. Bearface’s production is consistently fantastic across the album, blending a mix of Ye-inspired samples with acoustic elements, a chaotic yet coherent sonic context for Abstract to shine.
Abstract does just that, bringing energy to every verse. On the track “RZA,” Abstract channels a Dropout-era Ye with energetic doubled vocals reflecting on his relationship with his mother, likening the group’s disbandment to that of the Wu-Tang Clan. He aspires to be like their de-facto leader, RZA, who encouraged the collective’s members to embark on their own solo careers, which have produced multiple classic records that bolster WuTang’s legacy on the whole. Abstract also ruminates on how his parents stayed together despite their complicated family life, and how his mother encourages him to do the same: “My momma asking me, Ian why don’t you keep the band together?” The conflict between keeping his Brockhampton “family” intact and letting his friends pursue their solo careers is an overarching theme of the project which Abstract’s poignantly reflects on in each song.
The group’s contract with RCA Records is another central event referenced across the album. In a transition between songs, RZA (who interviewed with the band in 2021) mentions how Wu-Tang were signed to RCA as well. The thumping “Gold Teeth” further elaborates on the deal with the lines, “Only made this to get out the deal, partly / So don’t ask me if the crew is still talking.” After the incredible success of their Saturation series, RCA records gave Brockhampton a $15 million contract to release six albums for the label. Though this was fantastic news for the group at the time, burgeoning sexual
misconduct allegations toward key member Ameer Vann and his subsequent departure turned what would have been the height of the group’s career to a moral predicament where the members were forced into making music while trying to cope with the downfall of their friend. The group lost all of their upcoming work with Vann: their fourth studio album PUPPY, which was meant to be their entry into the mainstream, was scrapped along with their plans to perform at The Governor’s Ball in 2018.
Their experimental comeback album iridescence was met with mixed ratings and general disappointment from fans. Abstract reflects on this confusing era of the group’s career in the wonderfully-written “All That,” discussing how Vann’s absence damaged his relationship with bandmate Dom McClennon. “Too much trauma for me to be at my highest / I missed Ameer, so me and Dom kept fighting,” Abstract raps in a pitched morose delivery. Abstract touches on his substance addiction as well, admitting to spending money from the deal on alcohol. Abstract adeptly weaves his internal struggles into the narrative of the group’s career, elaborating on how his tendency toward toxic relationships worsened his connection with the group with a few blunt spoken-word monologues. At the end of the reflective “Good Time,” the instrumental suddenly cuts as Abstract talks about how he used to record his friends talking about personal trauma and insecurities in the name of creating art, saying his process created yet anoth-
er toxic relationship.
Abstract bears his shortcomings openly, with each track peeling back another layer of the group’s dissolution. “Basement” and “Southside” focus on the pressure of fan expectations, while the ballad “Any Way You Want Me” sees Abstract shallowly beg for forgiveness from his friends, including the disgraced Vann. The line “I know you hate mе, but what if I could change?” exemplifies his egotistical attitude—he calls the line toxic and tries to play it off with a joke, but his frustration is tangible nonetheless.
The climax of the album comes in the following title track, where Abstract is at his most vulnerable. The production is uncharacteristically upbeat for the subject matter—producer and additional vocalist Nick Velez weaves sips of alcohol into the production as Abstract angrily insults his bandmates, talking about how he can’t stand working with them and doesn’t feel guilty for sabotaging their careers with his reckless behavior. He’s jealous, drunk, and miserable, with the chorus cutting his first verse mid-yell. The fallout of his breakdown comes in the second verse, where he describes telling his bandmates his frustrations only to be met with silence. After this moment of rage, bandmate Bearface joins the track, angelically singing “You tried to keep it alive” in a gorgeous outro. The title track marks a turning point in the album, with Abstract letting his anger out while Bearface, speaking for the rest of the boyband, consoles him.
By the finale, “Brockhamp-
ton,” Abstract has accepted the end of the group. Despite his fraught relationship with his bandmates, he puts his differences aside, reminiscing on the good times and music they made and looking to the future for each member’s solo career over a somber string section. He takes the final moments of his verse to directly address each of the members, recognizing them individually for their talent and wishing them luck before the instrumental quickly changes into a Ruby Winters sample. Abstract yells at the listeners to get out of their seats, declaring that “the show is over.” With The Family, the show of Brockhampton’s career is essentially over. A day after its release, Brockhampton additionally published TM, its sixth studio album under RCA which fulfilled their contract, setting the group free. TM, while important in its own right, is a collection of throwaway songs from various eras of Brockhampton’s career that amount to filler fan service. There is little mention of the group disbanding in the project, so treating TM as their last album is the wrong way to see the tape.
RCA contract aside, The Family is a beautiful send-off to America’s greatest boyband. Kevin Abstract’s approach to the story of Brockhampton and their downfall is masterful and makes for a compelling ending to the short but electric career the group has had. It’s easy to criticize The Family for only featuring Abstract and not giving the group the epic ending fans wanted, but it’s clear this album is how Brockhampton was intended to end.
A girl dressed in a gothic black dress is on a dance floor, standing out among other attendees in white. She begins to dance while maintaining a stiff posture and a blank face. She whips her head back and bends her elbows, flailing her body in random directions, her eyes unblinking. Wednesday, Netflix’s newest comedy horror, was released on November 23, 2022.
Based on the classic Addams family comics, this adaptation follows the family’s sadistic daughter Wednesday (Jenna Ortega) as she attends Nevermore, a school for outcasts, after her latest expulsion. Though initially dubious about her new surroundings, Nevermore’s latest string of murders at the hands of a rumored monster captures Wednesday’s attention, convincing her to linger long enough to crack the case. Along the way, Wednesday befriends eccentric characters such as bubbly werewolf Enid Sinclair (Emma Myers), artistic archer Xavier (Percy Hynes White), and barista Tyler (Hunter Doohan) who also serves as Wednesday’s love interest. The show brings a new iteration of the Addams family to life while
doing a terrific job of setting Wednesday apart from her iconic relatives.
The show notably does a
lescence. The audience watches as Wednesday explores crushes and friendships while maintaining a strained relationship with
The rest of the cast brings their characters to life while subverting typical young adult stereotypes. Though Bianca (Joy Sunday) is originally portrayed as a typical mean girl, her insecurities stem from the fear that her siren powers, not her true self, draw people to her. Bianca’s development throughout the show is clear as she actively uses her siren powers to help Wednesday, further adding to her complexity.
great job at developing its characters thanks to stellar acting and writing. Ortega’s chilling yet humorous performance as Wednesday Addams is especially noteworthy as she captures Wednesday’s persona with poise and individuality, not straying too far from past iterations of the iconic character while still adding flare and depth to her version of Wednesday. As opposed to previous portrayals, Ortega’s Wednesday is a high school student forced to deal with the highs and lows of ado-
her mother.
As a result of the pressure she feels to live up to her mother’s reputation at Nevermore, Wednesday wants nothing to do with her mother Morticia (Catherine Zeta-Jones). On the other hand, Morticia struggles to deal with Wednesday’s defensive quips and their growing gap, especially as Wednesday is sent away to boarding school. Throughout the series, we watch their relationship thrive and falter, bringing a sense of relatability to the Addams family.
Director Tim Burton’s influence is distinct throughout this adaptation, with the show featuring a similar gloomy aesthetic to the Corpse Bride (2005), another one of Burton’s projects. Their color schemes are nearly identical, with a majority of outfits being in shades of dark blue and black. The Hyde, Nevermore’s monster, is similarly animated to characters in Nightmare before Christmas and the aforementioned Corpse Bride However, the Hyde’s animation looks silly against the show’s primarily live action medium.
Additionally, some of the dialogue in the show feels artificial and awkward, as it doesn’t accurately reflect the way that modern teenagers talk. For example, at one point, some bullies say “What are you? Alto, soprano, or just loco?” to Wednesday,
sounding childish and inane. The costumes in Wednesday take on a modern edge while retaining the aesthetic of the characters’ clothes in the original series. For example, Wednesday’s “angular character,” as described by designer Colleen Atwood, led her to incorporate pointier collars into Wednesday’s outfits. The other students at Nevermore also put their own personal flare on their pinstriped school uniforms, such as Xavier wearing a purple hoodie underneath his blazer.
The overarching theme of “coming of age” is prevalent throughout the series as Wednesday navigates high school life with all its quirkiness and adversities. Burton includes evergreen themes to create a series that appeals to viewers of all ages. He adds struggles that both teens and adults go through, such as Wednesday’s friend and roommate, Enid Sinclair talking about her PTSD.
Overall, this new series deserves a watch as it is a fun iteration of a classically loved series. With an exciting plot filled with twists and turns designed to keep viewers at the edge of their seats in combination with impressive acting, Wednesday is definitely one of Netflix’s best shows of the year.
Years have gone by since the early days of artists like The Velvet Underground, The New York Dolls, and The Ramones. The New York music scene—the raw, gritty one, that is—seems to have drained away. Then, at the turn of the century, an explosion of bands and vivacity came out of Manhattan and Brooklyn. Meet Me in the Bathroom, a tribute to a song by The Strokes, attempts to capture that brief but incredible burst of energy in the music scene.
Directed by Will Lovelace and Dylan Southern, Meet Me in the Bathroom is an exciting yet sympathetic insight into the uniquely New York music scene and the ups and downs that come with being a rockstar. With home video-esque footage of bands like The Strokes, Interpol, and Yeah Yeah Yeahs, the documentary is able to truly delve into what it means to be in the right place at the right time, and is just as much an homage to the era as it is to the city that fostered it.
The film opens with footage of the drive into New York City, evoking the idea of the city as a magnet for artists. The focus then shifts to a reading of Walt Whitman’s “Give Me the Splendid Silent Sun”; most memorable is the lines “Manhattan crowds, with their turbulent musical chorus; Manhattan faces and eyes forever for me” laid over footage of musicians like Debbie Harry and Lou Reed. The opening begs the question of what happened
to those lively Manhattan crowds, leading perfectly into a view of how they were brought back.
While the main focus of the documentary is the music scene, it provides a context for the time with an appropriately emotional segment about the impact of 9/11 on New York City, with a focus on the entertainment industry. At first glance, the dichotomy of a grieving city and the vivacity of the music in it might seem insensitive, but the film shows how New Yorkers used their grief and fear to create a sense of unity, bolstering crowds searching for a moment of joy in live music. Gathering hungry crowds of New Yorkers at venues like the Mercury Lounge, musicians found a place of their own, a place where they truly belonged: in the city. Through the documentary’s portrayal of the vibrant stage presence of Yeah Yeah Yeahs’s lead vocalist Karen O’s, the youthful exuberance of the movement is especially clear. Clips highlighting her colorful, eclectic attire and messy hair paired with her flailing but stylish dance moves are scattered throughout the film, perfectly adding to the experience.
Combined with the more extravagant Karen O, the effortless coolness that The Strokes exude and the moodiness of Interpol balance the diversity of this movement well, and the film fairly divides its time between plenty of bands that were part of it. Lesser-known bands like The Moldy Peaches, TV on the Radio, The Rapture, and even James
Murphy before LCD Soundsystem get equal screen time to the more widespread and notorious bands, a much-appreciated tribute to the inclusivity of the movement. In these bars and
ground began to travel above ground. What was a contained, isolated scene began to spread, and the documentary tends to depict a band’s first UK tour as a sign of this. The Strokes, es-
it means for something to be real and special—does worldwide fame mean something is unique to its home town anymore?—and the discussion of the realities of fame effectively shows the ways in which members of the scene pushed back. Especially timely and important, the film also creates a discussion of the possibility of fame being predatory, both with its depiction of the high demands of the lifestyle and of MTV, as well as of the treatment of women in the world of fame. Although there is a strong duality between the first and second halves of the documentary, with the first joyful and exciting and the second more emotional and even dreadful, it does well at seamlessly transitioning between each half. This is thanks to the speed with which it moves through the firsthand footage and TV interviews and performances.
small venues, anyone could find acceptance as long as they appreciated the artistry coming out of them. James Murphy’s story especially exemplifies this notion, as his adolescence spent feeling like an outcast was rectified by his ability to come into his own as a part of the indie scene.
Nothing lasts forever, though, and the underground scene of early-2000s New York is no different. For this clan of bands and musicians, the beginning of the end came when the under-
pecially, became a sensation, but were largely uncomfortable with fame. Julian Casablancas, their front man, was more attracted to the indie rockstar lifestyle, and the documentary even includes a poignant moment between him and The Moldy Peaches’s Kimya Dawson, when he stayed with Dawson despite two celebrities’ pleas for Casablancas to “come be famous with us.”
Moments like that throughout the middle of the documentary bring in a discussion of what
To top everything off perfectly, the documentary closes by “Give Me the Splendid, Silent Sun” being read, once again, over clips of those illustrious Manhattan crowds. This time, though, the crowds listen to the music of The Moldy Peaches, TV on the Radio, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, the Strokes, LCD Soundsystem, Interpol, The Rapture, and all the other bands that made this scene what it was. Meet Me in the Bathroom is a nostalgic, exciting, emotional, and aspirational love letter to a brief but impactful moment in time. All that’s left to do is wait for New York City to work its magic once again.
By SANTINO SUAREZ
“It’s close to midnight. Something evil’s lurking from the dark…”
No, it’s not your upcoming midterms or your Marking Period Two grades—it’s the 40th anniversary of one of the most criticallyacclaimed albums ever!
Michael Jackson released his magnum opus, Thriller, on November 30, 1982, an album that shook the world like no other. Even today, very few projects measure up to the musical and cultural impact Thriller had. Despite debuting in the early ‘80s, Thriller is a timeless album that draws you in with each song and deserves a listen.
The star quality of the album was a direct reflection of its frontman. Michael Jackson is the mostawarded musician in history. Often hailed as the “King of Pop,” Jackson is one of the most influential pop culture icons of the 20th century, due to his magnetic music, impressive falsetto singing voice, and innovative dance moves.
Originally part of a five-person soul band of brothers called The Jackson 5, Michael broke away to begin his solo career as a singer-songwriter. Jackson became an overnight celebrity after the massive success of his breakthrough disco album Off the Wall (1979). However, instead of basking in his newfound fame, Jackson became increasingly unhappy
and lonely, struggling to deal with overly obsessive fans and isolation in the music industry.
In a 2007 interview with Ebony Magazine, Jackson discussed his aspirations for a “perfect” album: “If you take an album like
I would say to myself, ‘Why can’t every one be like a hit song?” Jackson was driven to break boundaries and create something novel and spectacular.
This vision became the groundwork for his sixth studio
fresh new direction for the King of Pop, with sentimental ballads, catchy choruses, and even a guitar solo from rock legend Eddie Van Halen.
Themes of post-stardom paranoia and anxiety run through every track on Thriller, hidden beneath the grooves of every “killer” song. From “Billie Jean,” a catchy record about an infatuated fan claiming to have a child with Jackson, to “Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’,” where he sings about gossip and rumors about him, Jackson vocalizes his anguish from living as a superstar. The album’s legendary title track is the culmination of these fears.
Thriller is the seventh and final single on the album. Written by Rod Temperton, the song was originally titled Starlight and was developed with theatrical elements at its foundation. Quincy Jones saw the star potential in the song and wanted to make it the title track, but pushed to rebrand the song to better match Jackson’s “mysterious and evolving persona.” Temperton came up with the name “Thriller,” but was apprehensive that it may sound odd in the main chorus. However, Jackson made the lyric his own with his iconic falsetto.
atmosphere akin to a horror flick. In a style reminiscent of musical theater, Jackson melodically narrates a plotline of an imminent monster attack, with lyrics like, “The midnight hour is close at hand / Creatures crawl in search of blood / To terrorize y’all’s neighborhood.”
Jackson was drawn to the Jeckle and Hyde dynamic for the track and later its music video: one minute, he is a charming young man; the next, a terrifying beast. The song closes with an eerie spokenword monologue by horror film actor Vincent Price, followed by the most sinister laugh one can imagine.
the Nutcracker Suite [by Tchaikovsky], every song is a ‘killer’ […]. People used to do an album where you’d get one good song, and the rest were B-sides […] and
album, Thriller. Reunited with Off the Wall collaborator Quincy Jones, Jackson aimed to move past the dated disco sounds of the late ‘70s with his new project. Thriller was a
The song combined punchy synths and a strong bassline with traditional horror movie sound effects (like wolves howling and doors creaking) to create a vivid
This theme extended from the song’s sonic elements to its promotion and projects that accompanied the album. Directed by John Landis, the Thriller music video debuted as a short film. In reference to one of Jackson’s favorite movies, An American Werewolf in London (1981), the video is a spoof on horror films interwoven with a love story, except with the addition of synchronized dancing and zombies rising from the graveyard. Jackson’s boyish charm is infectious, and his mischievous playfulness emerges early on in the film before his transformation into a frightening werecat, flashing his huge claws and sharp
ter plots were repetitive as well, notably with Daryl, whose morality was often questioned after being captured multiple times by antagonist groups like the Governor, Negan and the Saviors, and the Reapers. However, Daryl’s tedious arc always ended with his return to Rick along with a renewal of his principles. After years of seeing his character grow and develop on screen, Da-
ryl’s fragile ethos feels unbelievable and overdone. It also doesn’t help that the show strayed too far from its original premise. For a show that was originally about survivors trying to save each other from cannibalistic walkers, it gradually switched its focus to the dangers of humans instead. While the inclusion of human antagonists initially enhanced the show’s quality, the repetition of this plotline drained the excitement from the show.
While the show’s poor writ-
ing is largely to blame for its downfall, another major issue is its excess of spin-offs. These include Fear The Walking Dead, The Walking Dead: World Beyond, The Walking Dead: Dead City, Tales of The Walking Dead, an untitled TV show following Daryl and Carol, and future movies following Michonne and Rick. The excess of content in this one universe might be attractive to some, but for the casual viewer, it is simply an inconvenience, leading to further disconnection.
The finale of The Walking Dead begins with Judith Grimes waking up in a hospital surrounded by a horde of hungry zombies after being shot in the chest, alluding to the very first scene of the show in a full-circle moment. The episode follows the group of survivors as they fight off walkers in an attempt to protect more than a city’s worth of people from being devoured. Delivering on all of the show’s greatest feats such as terrific action, heart-wrenching emotional
moments, and future teases, the finale creates a satisfying ending for long-time watchers. Followed by Talking Dead, an after-show featuring cast members and writers, it’s hard not to get teary-eyed while watching the show air live one last time. The Walking Dead is undeniably one of the most influential shows of the 21st century, but unfortunately, it’s hard to call it one of the best of all time without ignoring the show’s copious deficiencies.
Housed rather fittingly on St. Marks Place is Karen Lamassonne’s first solo exhibition outside of Colombia: Ruido / Noise at the Swiss Institute. St. Marks Place, lined with smoke shops, Tarot card readers, handicrafts, and crystal dealers, has historically been the nucleus of the East Village’s rebellion against mainstream culture. Rudio / Noise caters perfectly to the essence of St. Marks Place, as it is an exhibition jammed with Lamassonne’s artfully raucous oppositions to male-dominated, Eurocentric depictions of female nudity.
Although Lamassonne was born in the United States, she spent the majority of her life revisiting her Colombian heritage as she bounced between the two cultures. Her current exhibition, Ruido / Noise, is a retrospective of her work, revealing the early influence of politics and culture on her developing identity.
“Homenaje a Cali” (“Homage to Cali”) is imbued with her multiculturalism, and challenges cultural expectations for female artists to reject sensuality. This collection is the striking introduction to Ruido / Noise, affixed upon a red wall that immediately greets the viewer upon entrance to the exhibition. The collection of six large-scale acrylic paintings imposes an overarching sense of grandeur, running parallel to Lamassonne’s purposeful use of proportion and setting
the precedent for the rest of the show.
Through this chronological exhibit, viewers can witness how Lamassonne’s artistic style transcends locality and time throughout the two floors the exhibit encompasses. The first floor primarily displays Lamassonne’s paintings, representative of the most fruitful era of her artistic career, the 1980s and ‘90s. Here, we see the works of Lamassonne as a young artist. Drawing clear aesthetic inspirations from Alice Neel, Lamassonne ventures deep into the universe of color, utilizing vibrant paint strokes to cultivate a dynamic response to her perceived reality. There is something distinctly voyeuristic about “Homenaje a Cali” (1989), as each painting is a passionate portrayal of the erotic intimacy of gigantic lovers, juxtaposed with the geometric landscape of Cali. Lamassonne combats the rigid lines of the colorful churches and apartments in the city with the organic quality of the lovers’ sexual encounter. Lamassonne manipulates the composition to create a puzzling duplexity; she presents a narrative that is so promiscuous that the viewer cannot help but feel is invasive, yet achieves it so artfully that it is impossible to look away. Startled by the scene against the bustling landscape of Cali, the viewer is left wondering what exactly they are witnessing. Is this consensual? Should this be seen?
“La Venida de la Ceiba” (“The Coming of the Ceiba”), the third painting in “Homenaje a Cali,” is
the archetype of the aforementioned paradox. Two grayscale figures are intertwined in a bare Ceiba tree, a common tree of the tropics of the Americas. Bright yellows and pinks depict a kaleidoscopic urban environment contrasting with the monochromatic couple’s intimate engagement. Life presumably continues in the surroundings, while the composition crops the main subjects to accentuate the aggressive and passionate yet unbothered coupling.
Environmental influence extends beyond “Homenaje a Cali,” as it is an underlying theme in the entirety of Ruido / Noise. Lamassonne constantly transforms traditionally stagnant structures, such as Cali’s colonial European architecture, and seamlessly integrates humanity and fluidity into these forms. The space offers an apropos setting for Lamassonne’s works. The Swiss Institute is an unusual gallery, as it was formerly a bank with an active vault. The architectural setting of the Swiss Institute successfully delivers the art’s purpose, as Lamassonne utilizes the awkward placement of the vault to her advantage, displaying her work the way it was intended to be viewed. Behind a heavy black curtain lays three paintings shrouded in darkness. Perpendicular to each painting is a retro TV, looping staticky snow and emitting ambient noise. Lamassonne cultivates perpetuity and endlessness in the cramped space of the vault as the light quality of the room mirrors that of her paintings. The
subject matter of the paintings, legs emerging from the darkened obscurity of domestic scenes, is also solely illuminated by a blank TV screen.
Lamassonne challenges the viewer to experience discomfort in this exhibit, and the selected sexualized depictions suggest a taboo sentiment for this formal gallery setting. Seeing such intimate works in a perceivably cold, industrial setting adds to the viewer’s unease. Another paradox exists in the disparity of color; Lamassonne’s works, vividly depicting the culture of Bogotá, contrast with the exhibit’s sterile setting.
Perhaps the pinnacle of the Ruido / Noise exhibition is the thumbnails for Pura Sangre (1982), composed of 63 ink drawings. Lamassonne made these in conjunction with her role as artistic director for the movie. Many artists from Cali contributed to Pura Sangre, a crime film directed by Luis Ospina. Lamassonne uses thin, jagged lines and red accents to convey the vampiric and horrific nature of the film. The movie is based on the horrific account of children being randomly murdered on Colombian streets with little judicial consequence, protesting Colombia’s flawed justice system.
Exploring the second floor, Lamassonne’s more recent works diverge from her typical watercolor and acrylic paintings, exploring unconventional mediums. At first glance, Lamassonne’s artistic style is unrecognizable, as it transitions abruptly from the floor
below. In the corner sits a grotesque hand sculpture. Diagonally, a retro TV flashes stills of an animation in which a scarf is falling off a hanger. Flush against the wall is a compilation of comical sketches evocative of still animation. On an angled table below are two inverted orange and blue screen prints of— you guessed it—intertwined nudes. The subject matter is distinct from Lamassonne’s domain—the reduction of intimacy as a mere act of passion in an unphased environment. We gain insight into Lamassone’s matured perspective later in life as she now simplifies intimacy into abstraction.
When the exhibit is seen in its entirety, viewers are gifted with Lamassonne’s evolution as a woman and as someone bridging two cultures. The thought-provoking exhibition raises questions about intimacy and physicality. Which aspects of sensuality are socially acceptable to share? Lamassonne poses this question to the viewer through her stimulating artwork as we are left to consider the moral repercussions of absorbing the vulnerability she outlines on the canvas. Younger viewers may appreciate how artists boldly addressed these issues in the 1980s, when there was little dialogue about sexual experiences. Lamassonne’s courage to confront norms as a Colombian woman is commendable. Her juxtapositions disrupt cultural expectations of what a female artist is supposed to paint, and she recalls the power of the novel artist to challenge thinking.
fangs. Like any classic horror film, there’s an encounter with the villain, high-pitched screaming, and a plot twist at the very end.
The ambitious 13-minute music video, debuting as a special night event, cemented Jackson as a creative visionary and embedded itself into pop culture for decades to come. As Landis said in an interview with Billboard’s John Branca, “Music videos at that time were always just needle drop. Some were pretty good, but most were not, and they were commercials.
Michael’s such a huge star that I said, ‘Maybe I can bring back the theatrical short.’ I pitched him the idea, and he totally went for it.”
The choreography was the brainchild of Jackson and LaGuardia High School alum, Tony Award-winning choreographer
Michael Peters. Peters sought to elevate the production value of dance in music videos by merging a sophisticated blend of musical theater with a modern con-
in unison, with Jackson as their leader.
The cinematic Thriller video was the formidable launching pad for the entire album
Congress’s National Film Registry. While the video was honored with three MTV Awards, two American Music Awards, and a Grammy, its historic influence is impossible to
torious for not airing music videos by Black artists because it didn’t think there was a viable audience for it. Through his unique sound, dance, and image, Jackson established himself as an artist who appealed to all audiences of all backgrounds without compromising his creative vision.
Michael Jackson paved the way for the next generation of African-American superstars, like Pharell Williams, Beyoncé, and Drake. In an interview between Williams and Jackson, Williams said, “And when everyone else was going another way, you went Thriller. You just did it your way.
temporary style. The steps, while a simple combination of finger snaps, hip thrusts, and arms ready to pounce, swept the nation. With their frightening pale green makeup and ragged clothes, the creatures of the night pop and lock
(not to mention the zombie dance craze and consumers’ newfound obsession with bright red leather jackets). The video set a new bar for music videos. In 2009, it became the first music video inducted into the Library of
measure.
Michael Jackson had no fear of challenging the established norms. Through his music and videos, he helped break long-standing racial barriers in the music industry, especially with MTV, which was no-
And I’m taking notes from people like yourself, like not being afraid to listen to your feelings and turn your aspirations and ambitions into material [...] making it happen.” Without Thriller, we would only be listening to songs rather than witnessing a transformation.
Themes of post-stardom paranoia and anxiety run through every track on Thriller, hidden beneath the grooves of every “killer” song.
It’s that time of year again! No, I’m not talking about seasonal depression. I’m talking about Christmas, a.k.a. capitalism’s favorite holiday! The constant ringing of Mariah Carey’s voice in your ears reminds you that the holiday season is approaching fast, and you need to start investing in presents for all the special people in your life to avoid looking like a jerk. Unfortunately, Santa didn’t leave a credit card under your Christmas tree, and there’s only so much you can buy with your McDonald’s salary. Have no fear, though, because we’ve compiled a list of the top five ways to save money on holiday shopping:
The best gifts come from the heart, right? This holiday season, try crafting something with your own two hands to show your loved ones that you don’t support soulless corporations. For this homemade gift, you can use anything you find lying around your house, so no purchases are necessary! Possible gift ideas include but are not limited to: a sock puppet, a piece of paper covered in
glitter glue, a goodie bag filled with leftover Halloween candy, a coloring book from when you were nine, or some dirt. And if anybody actually spends money on a present for you, (which we doubt will happen), that’s their loss.
4) Skip the Wrapper Christmas presents are known for their ornate wrapping paper and shiny ribbons. However, the frivolous art of gift-wrapping takes time and effort, so some folks take the lazy way out and opt for a simple gift bag. Still, those bags cost money, and that’s bad. Instead, we recommend you simply avoid wrapping your gifts at all—not only will you save money, but you’ll also reduce your carbon footprint by eliminating all the waste that comes with wrapping paper. Wow! Look at you being a good person! If you’re still worried that your gifts are lacking in presentation, you can always throw them at full force to the recipient when they’re not looking—they’ll be so disoriented that they won’t notice the wrapping paper, or lack thereof. If the person is knocked unconscious on impact, at least you won’t have
to face their judgemental stares as they “open” your lackluster present.
If you’re unsure of what to get for that special someone, head on over to your local Goodwill, and you’re sure to find the perfect gift. You’ll also find a wide variety of things you didn’t know you needed, such as Simon Cowell Bobbleheads, Iridescent Cowboy Boots, Bedsheets with Questionable Stains, Spongebob T-Shirts, and Plastic Bags filled with Rusty Nails (all for under $5!). Sure, you run the slight risk of infecting your loved ones with millions of unknown pathogens, but at least it’ll be a gift they won’t forget!
You don’t have to spend money on Christmas presents if you have nobody to buy presents for. Once December rolls around, it’s time to pack up your bags and completely isolate yourself from your friends and family! As long as you can endure the lack of human interaction and stress from the 13 missed calls from Mom, this method has proven to be highly effective, reducing holiday
spending by 100 percent.
1) Just Don’t Buy Presents! For those who are bold enough, defy the materialistic expectations of the holiday season by simply not getting presents for anyone. Not only will your wallet breathe a sigh of relief, but your friends and family will also see that your love for them is so strong, you don’t need to express it through meaningless objects. So what if your three-year-old niece throws a temper tantrum because you didn’t buy her the Elmo doll she asked for? She needs to learn how to survive in the real world, or she’ll never make it to kindergarten. Still, if some of your loved ones feel the need to prove themselves through gift giving, you should kindly accept their offers so as to maintain their goodwill.
Hopefully, this guide will help you narrowly avoid bankruptcy during this year’s holiday season. Now you can enjoy your Starbucks mochapeppermintcaramelcocoajinglebellgingerbread frappuccino and watch Curious George: A Very Monkey Christmas in peace, because that’s what Christmas is really about, right? Happy holi-
Financial literacy class found to be a money laundering scheme.
CIEE study abroad program introduces new “cost-effective” destinations, including New Jersey, five Outback Steakhouses, and “the ocean.”
The SU releases new information suggesting there are more Stuyvesant clubs than there are Stuyvesant students
New York Historical Society marks Stuyvesant building a landmark but realizes afterward that it was built in 1992.
Winter Choral Concert replaced by Winter Awkwardly Humming While Looking at the Floor Concert.
days, and have a December to Remember!
***Disclaimer: The Spectator is not responsible for any damage to relationships caused by this guide.
Aniket and Alex are NOT projecting in this article. This is real, factual reporting.
The complaints that Stuyvesant High School receives about the lack of diversity and the oppression of minorities have some basis. Of the many marginalized groups in Stuyvesant, there exists a group that deals with the cruel indifference of the universe on the daily: the vertically challenged people of Stuyvesant High School. They go by many names: Itty Bitties, Smurfs, Powerpuff Girls, Munchkins, Kittens, Short Kings, and Baby Dolls. To offer respect to this already oppressed group, we will refer to them as the Kittens.
If you’re someone that is capable of reaching the top shelf, you may be asking yourself: “How are Kittens oppressed at Stuyvesant?” To help answer this question, we interviewed representatives of the Kittens League in Stuyvesant to help explain.
Shafwan Ahmed—President of the Kittens
We sat down with Shafwan Ahmed and listened to what he had to say about oppression against our short kings in Stuyvesant.
"It’s just not the same, you know. I’m one of the hottest guys in Stuyvesant, and I still don’t have a girlfriend. It’s clearly because I’m short. What other reason could there be for me to still be single? Man, I’m built. I got them eight packs, five-inch biceps, six-
inch quads; it makes up for all the other inches I’m lacking,” Ahmed bluntly explained.
We quickly followed up with a question. “By ‘inches lacking,’ are you referring to any other areas besides your height?”
“Just height. Nothing else.”
Ahmed’s response and final statement was: “Don't spread false information.”
Ahmed also told us about a moment in his life when he made an attempt to talk to a girl in his English class, and all he could muster out was the word “pretty.” The victim in this discussion was traumatized and had to receive severe therapy.
Ahmed gave us some great insight into how Kittens have a lower chance of finding a significant other simply because they do not conform to societal norms.
However, perhaps in Ahmed’s case, the reason his love life is not as developed as others may just be due to the fact that his social skills are also terrible.
Contrary to Ahmed’s opinions, Ethiel Rhan talked a great deal about the perks of being a Kitten.
“You know, a lot of people say that being a Kitten is bad, but it’s not all that terrible. Look at me. I’m living life. Being short allows me to sometimes pretend like I’m someone way younger. Take my current girlfriend. She’s a freshman, and she thinks I’m a freshman too, though I’m really a senior!”
It’s safe to say that Rhan is not only a Kitten but also a freshie-
Fellow compatriots! Fellow soldiers! Look up from your screens! Look up from your homework! The Revolution is imminent! What do you stall for?! *banging on table* Blood alone moves the wheels of history! Have you ever asked yourself in an hour of meditation, which everyone finds during the day, how long we have been striving for greatness? The hours we spend slaving away behind the desk, the insignificant five-minute break in-between or the grueling commutes we spend wasting away our time and sanity. Is there any meaning to the very institution we attend!?
Every day, we follow the clocks and electronic beeps that dismiss us. Every day, we follow the strict instructions of our teachers. For too long have we been complacent with this sub-
servience. We shall not have this! The monotony of our current education system has no power over us! We are our own masters!
From our very childhoods, we have followed this centuryold system. It has been etched deeply into our minds. Thus, change will not be easy! This will be an uphill battle! But it is also our duty! We have long held the faculties to make change! The freedom of speech. The freedom to protest. The preparations have been made long before our times, but it is up to us to act. Thus, I urge you to stand with us against our oppressors. For too long we have bowed to their wishes and done their bidding. I am earnestly asking you: will you join our crusade?
In the course of human events, it becomes necessary for change to occur under the regime of a tyrant. Our present education system has forced its system
of punctuality and strictness on us. To prove this, let the following facts be known:
It has forced us all to follow a rigidly structured day that always begins at 8:00 in the morning and ends at 3:37 in the afternoon.
It has forced us to wake up way before the sun has even risen and only allowed us to return home after the sunset, perpetuating a life of darkness.
It has consistently given sleepless nights, on a near-daily basis.
It has forced upon us pizzas and the dumb pizza bagels, EVERY SINGLE DAY.
It has given us seven-hour work days, and, if that wasn’t enough, four or five more hours of homework each night. (scales up based on projects, cornell notes or studying for tests)
It has made it its sacred duty to make sure at least (but not limited to) one escalator is broken
every day.
It has fostered our crippling dependency on coffee to make it through each day.
It has taxed the teachers unreasonably and taken away precious hours of sleep from them as well!
Too many times have we needed to know completely unimportant information that will be forgotten right after the test happens!
Why do we need to know every single step of glycolysis and the Krebs cycle?
Too many times have I seen couples making out in the hallways. No, I’m not being petty. This is a problem of the utmost importance.
It has given us the abomination that is the school’s fried rice.
Also, there’s never any milk or food left for the period eight lunch-goers. Just throwing that out there, guys.
hunter. Rhan also talked greatly about how he has e-girls as well. His e-girls are under the impression that he is 6’1” and an Olympic weight-lifter. In truth, Rhan confessed that he could barely bench 20 pounds.
“Being short is a sin.” —Sun Tzu
The above quote is best exemplified here at Stuyvesant, with the lack of maidens among the below 5’6” male populace definitely placed next to the lack of your good Night Markets. Sadly, for all the short kings out there, there is no known solution to growing any taller in order to push past that “average” height so that your crush will notice you. And unfortunately, that leaves the Kittens as the most maidenless and depressing marginalized group at Stuyvesant.
Therefore, I ask you once more to rise up! We will lay siege to the Chambers Street building, make base at Rockefeller Park, and under Ryan Lee, our commanding general, we’ll conquer the school starting from the bottom floors.
This is a never-ending struggle for freedom! You will soon realize that it is a privilege to fight! We are warriors! Students of Stuyvesant! Disregard the separation between grades! This is our time to unite! Join in the fight, that will give you the right to be free! TOGETHER, WE WILL PREVAIL! Vive la révolution!!
Our time is now! Actually, I have a calculus test tomorrow. Then Flow rehearsal for the rest of the week. Plus, I have so much to do over the weekend. So, maybe next Monday? Vive la révolution again, but not right now!
1. Card you tap to pay 2. Butterfield of “Sex Education” 3. Robot of “Invader Zim” 4. Inquired 5. Lie in the sun 6. Conjunction which implies purpose
Battle areas 8. Bathroom areas 11. Very competent 13. Served in a flagon, probably 16. Light meal 17. Calmed 18. “Came __ ____” 21. For each 22. Blizzards 24. Sophomores and Juniors take this early in the year 26. ___/her 27. Cereal grain 28. Goth of “Pearl” 29. Deceitful
ACROSS 1. Epic 5. Musical theater degrees, ex. 9. Egyptian goddess sister to Osiris 10. Main artery which carries blood out of the heart 12. Something you might do to spam emails 14. Large deer 15. End of year test in most of Mr. Tomas’s classes 16. Slip 19. What you might call a Swiss mountain 20. Holy woman 21. Might proceed secret-telling 23. Every one 24. Write 25. Get schooled in them 30. “TiK ToK” singer 31. Cry of anguish 32. _eb_ coll_c_or 33. Remain
By ALEXANDER CHU, MICHELLE HUANG, and OLIVER HOLLMANN
*The story, all names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this article are fictitious. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred.*
From: Xx_FreshieCAUCusTicket_xX@gmail.com
To: eics@stuyspec.com
Dear editors of The Stuyvesant Spectator, This week, the ImposterSus ticket (that’s us!) so graciously gave you our time and energy and picked up a copy of The Spectator. We were excited to read about our ticket’s positive coverage in the paper, so you can imagine our surprise when our ticket was so rudely dragged through the mud. Apparently, our ideas are “too broad” and “unfeasible,” our behavior “immature” and “attention-seeking,” and our entire ticket, in your nearsighted eyes, “fell short.” You fail to recognize how our ticket is actually a beacon of improvisation and adaptability. Our “too broad,” wide, sweeping ideas are actual-
ly perfectly open to new change and input from others, and our acapella version of “Gangnam Style” at the Freshmen Caucus Debates as a response to a difficult question actually demon-
tion of a “death fountain” to the third-floor gym, how could that possibly be read as a health and safety hazard rather than the sick playtime area it is truly meant to be? We think this is
and told us we were destined to lead the Freshman Caucus. He finds it unfortunate that you do not see the god-like talent presented in front of you.
strated an ability to adapt in the face of trouble, and was NOT “indicative of fatherless behavior” as The Spectator so rudely described it.
You called our plan to build an ice skating rink on the 11th floor by freezing the tears of AP Chem students “impractical.” In what world is this not the perfect method to add a fun new activity, introduce a varsity hockey team, and monopolize student suffering? When we proposed the addi-
just a classic case of upperclassman superiority over freshmen (an issue we resolve in our policies!).
Our ticket is prime material to rule Stuyvesant. We have done impossible feats no other student has achieved, like getting a 100 first try on an AP Biology test, impressing Dr. Markova with our incredible athleticism, and single-handedly fixing the elevators on the Tribeca Bridge. Peter Stuyvesant himself visited us in a dream
Ashley La / The SpectatorWe demand compensation for our suffering. Our ticket will be camping on the half-floor, awaiting an official apology, ownership of The Spectator, five million doubloons, and keys to Principal Yu’s house (Mr. Moran’s house is also acceptable). Until we receive these things from you, we will not be beholden to mortal upperclassmen such as yourselves. We will govern ourselves and establish a new, independent nation of freshmen, whipped into shape by the pain we will inflict and raised to be the worst nightmares of the cowardly upperclassmen—nay, of humanity. Only once our terms are met will we even consider gracing Stuyvesant with our ticket’s presence again.
Sincerely, The Imposter-Sus Ticket
To: Xx_FreshieCAUCusTicket_xX@gmail.com From: eics@stuyspec.com
From the desk of the Editorial Board of The Stuyvesant Spectator:
Dear prospective Freshmen Caucus candidates, We are sorry that our review of your ticket is not up to your standards. Before, we didn’t realize the dedication of your ticket. Through this e-mail, we now see that you guys are TRULY motivated to become Freshman Caucus Presidents. While The Stuyvesant Spectator cannot determine the outcome of the Freshman Caucus election, we can offer you guys “The Spectator Complimentary Participation Award”!
It comes with:
- Half of a Wooden Desk that hasn’t been used since 1999
- One kindergartener-sized plastic chair (sticky, for some reason)
- An AC that is constantly dripping and never works
- Cobwebs (so aesthetic!)
- And one of those dangling lightbulbs your grandma has
All of this, contained within the closet of ro m 260 (the Student Union room), are yours to claim if you respond to this e-mail within the next day.
Sincerely, The Editorial Board of The Spectator
Ah, Turkey Day. Its position on our calendar is inauspicious, sandwiched between some real end-ofyear juggernauts—Halloween on one side, and Christmas/Hanukkah/whatever your preferred lateDecember holiday is on the other. For this reason, most sadly choose not to give the Day of Turkeys the time of day it deserves, instead letting Thanksgiving pass without fanfare and only using it as an excuse to voraciously consume those three cans of cranberry sauce that wait so patiently in the back of their cupboard year-round. However, there still are a few loyal socalled “turkey enthusiasts” that keep the spirit of the Giving of Thanks alive, mainly by cramming as much material into a dead animal’s carcass as they possibly can, before proceeding to consume it. This article is a celebration of these beautiful individuals’ equallybeautiful turkey-stuffing practices.
Stuffing #1: Whipped Cream, and a Lot of It
After many years of suffering, I, and many others, have grown convinced that whipped cream is one of the only worthwhile components of our existence. In a
world with so much strife, some yummy fluffy white stuff provides a brief escape. If consumed in excess, it can literally be an “escape”—if that’s the way you want to put it—from existence, too. In other words, you will die. But who cares! This is the Day of the Giving of Thanks, and everything, from glasses of wine to stacks of golden, fallen leaves to the girth of your uncle’s belly, is in excess anyway. So pry open that turkey, grab your Reddi-wip, and get to spraying. Save some for me, of course.
much the more seductive version of tequila). In the grim case that someone accidentally consumes or chokes on a part of the gift, a bottle of mezcal makes one quick to forgive. Speaking from experience.
Stuffing #3: Another Turkey, Inside Another Turkey, Inside Another Turkey
would be. Second, it’s a perfect revenge plot. For example, if Aunt Agatha, for one reason or another, had begun to get pretty stingy in recent years with your birthday payments, maybe a little reality
Because sometimes a Humor article oughta be sensible and teach you a thing or two.
Stuffing #6: A Pipe Bomb
By SELINA LINAssuming you’re reading this while still knee deep in the postThanksgiving dinner induced slump, odds are that the days drag on, and December seems like it can’t end quickly enough. How many more days until you have an entire week to catch up on sleep, homework, and all five perfect seasons of Breaking Bad? It goes on forever! Well, luckily enough for you, there are plenty of enjoyable ways to pass the time, so here are a few to get you through these hard few days.
5. Sort out your socks. As we enter into the classic New York winter, it’s more than necessary to start preparing for the cold. No matter what side of the socks versus no socks debate you’re on, I think one thing we all hate is having cold feet, or even worse, the feeling of wet feet after stepping through snow with thin shoes. Before it comes to that, why not dig out all of your socks? Take a suggestion from your mom and pick up after yourself—your laundry needs to be done, anyway. Lint roll all of them while you’re at it, too. Who knows what grime is on them after changing in a school locker room? Maybe now the
By FINN CHARESTThe 2022 FIFA World Cup has started, bringing excitement, suspense, and suspiciously long bathroom breaks that coincidentally overlap with game-deciding penalty kicks.
The football event has been extremely publicized, finding a receptive audience in the Stuyvesant High School student body and faculty. A viral photo of two players, Cristiano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi, was posted ahead of the games on Instagram, where it amassed 40 million likes. However, what was
#2:
Now, a simpleton like yourself may look at a Thanksgiving turkey and see what? Nourishment, maybe? A curvaceous carcass? While yes, those are indeed truths, I’m asking you to broaden your ideas, to think outside of the box a little. For what I see in a turkey is potential—potential to be a gift box. It’s pretty much the best gift box of all time. I mean, I’d take some crispy, golden-brown skin over some tacky Minions-inspired wrapping paper any day of the week. Any gift could fit in a turkey if you try hard enough. So why mezcal? Because it’s mezcal (for those of you who don’t know, mezcal is pretty
It’s simple, really: turkey-ception. Think of how amused your family will be when you pull the fourth, comedically diminutive turkey out of the third, slightly less miniature turkey. Yeah, it might be a little tricky to find turkeys that incrementally get smaller at a constant rate, but the punchline would be worth it.
Stuffing #4: Coagulated Porcupine Blood Okay, hear me out, alright? Just think of the shock factor. Aunt Agatha takes a nice, full bite of her turkey, and is greeted with the most grotesque, slimy, and rancid foodstuff the human mind can think to create. There are a couple of reasons you might want to do something like this. First, it’d probably be funny. Don’t lie, you know it
check is in order.
Stuffing #5: Salt, Pepper, Rosemary, Thyme, Ginger, and Citrus
If Thanksgiving in your household has grown to become a stale, dull shell of its former self, maybe you need to take initiative and inject some excitement into the engagement. With this stuffing, you can turn dinner into a reallife Defuse the Bomb game. Something about the threat of a bombing seems to be conducive to bonding, so the familial ties in your household will definitely skyrocket. Honestly, in my opinion, this is the best stuffing yet. I see no flaws in this plan.
Happy belated Turkey day, Stuyvesant. While it may be too late to adopt these practices for the great year of 2022 (the pilgrim’s feast’s anniversary last month was clearly an epic fail due to how unmemorable it was), 2023 is still on the table. Four-day weekends are a rarity at Stuyvesant, so maybe you should show some respect and give thanks to the holiday that makes them happen.
socks you lost last year will finally pop up after seeing your change in heart regarding sock treatment. Sorting out those 57 socks you have shouldn’t take too long unless you really just want to find that last sock. You wouldn’t want to wear mismatched socks anywhere (unless you consider that a fashion statement, in which case, go right ahead), so it’s probably a good idea to find it now. Save yourself the time in the morning looking for that other sock.
4. Experiment with Thanksgiving leftovers. In this modern day and age, our food has so many preservatives that an ancient Egyptian mummy would be green with envy. But after a week, no one wants to eat old turkey and peas. Why not go the science route with it? See how long it will last untouched in the back of your fridge next to the moldy Hot Pocket you couldn’t finish and decided to save for later two years ago. See if it’ll outlast the light in the freshmen’s eyes. Though it may look concerning, torn to shreds from the dinner, and entirely filled with green and white fuzz, like an ant colony has settled in it, I assure you that it’s still likely very pristine-looking on the outside. Just don’t eat it. It may look as perfect as it did at the
end of Thanksgiving, but just like mummies, I don’t think eating any of it will provide you with much benefit.
3. The Met Project. Whether you’re a freshman or not, the winter season comes with the first wave of Stuyvesant-exclusive fun: the long and annoying trip to the Met Museum. The awkwardness that comes with taking out a sketchbook in the sculpture section and the general boringness of an art gallery are any freshman’s nightmare. For everyone else, though, it’s a chance to relive the past, except better. Instead of suffering the pain of having to do the project yourself, now is the prime time to go to the Met and laugh uproariously at freshmen who still have their perfectionist tendencies from middle school. For the freshmen: good luck, since something’s got to save your tanking art grade!
2a. Plan out gif… suddenly learn financial management! Right now is the best time to go shopping. Coming out of the week of Black Friday deals, it’s time for the pre-holiday sales, and all the best things come out at this time, anyway. Obviously, going gift-shopping (for others,
too, not just you) now would be the smart choice. But wait, take a step back. First of all, how would you afford any of that? You also have to afford your daily caffeine, your lunch, and every color of highlighter you find. How would you live without them? Of course, skimping out on gifts is a bad idea, but so is going into bankruptcy as a teenager! Do yourself a favor and watch at least one finance guru’s TikTok series on budgeting before going shopping. Just remember, only proceed through Target with extreme caution (and a large coat with many pockets)!
2b. Start investing. Now that you’re already following this TikTok finance bro, why not also check out his series on passive income and buying stocks? He sure knows what he’s talking about. Maybe buying Bitcoin will really do you some good, and would he really lie to you about that? Him? Your one-stop expert for all things money? Maybe it’s a little too late for GameStop, but surely one of these new electric car manufacturers will really strike it big. Better start now!
1. Sleep. We all know that the number one IRL time speedingup glitch is sleep. The only way to
much more shocking was the reaction of a certain school official.
Upon viewing the post, Principal Yu reportedly fell to his knees on the bridge in a weeping mess, clasped his hands in prayer, and started mumbling nonsensical ramblings under his breath. According to a source, he stayed this way for several minutes.
A few days later, an e-mail was sent out by Yu, containing nothing but an attached image. Depicted were Principal Yu and Mr. Moran, sitting on opposite ends of a chess board, in a seem-
ingly perfect recreation of the iconic photograph. The subject line simply read, “Ice cold.”
The World Cup has also caused tension within school classrooms. Physics teacher Eugene Majewski, a passionate Poland fan, was following the Poland vs. Mexico match on Tuesday. However, when Polish striker Robert Lewandowski missed the game-winning penalty, Dr. Majewski was unable to continue watching. Instead, he threw his hands up in the air and loudly proclaimed that Lewandowski had forgotten his projectile motion, vowing that the unit
would appear on the next test.
There were also worries surrounding fractures in the student body as a result of conflicting nationalities in the tournament. A survey was conducted to evaluate potential hostilities; however, these concerns were unfounded because of the 100 student responses, there were only three different countries represented in the poll.
The recent increase of media attention on football has also affected audience turnout at the Stuyvesant boys’ varsity soccer games. At a recent home game, a record 16 students showed up
go from one day to the next is by playing the sleep cutscene, and oh, would you look at that—it’s the next morning. That applies to other times of day too. If you really want it to be afternoon so that you can go home, just sleep through the morning. The less time you spend awake before break, the less time you have to pass with boring time fillers. Maybe you’ll find that dreamland is so much better than this painful reality. A world without your scary math teacher and filled with all your favorite anime characters? Now that sounds amazing! I wouldn’t want to leave… Maybe I would be better off sleeping forever…
The weeks between Thanksgiving and winter break are some of the longest in the whole year— it feels like you’ve gone through another year just to get to the good part of the year! What a weird time of the year’s year. Soon it’ll be time for the comforts of winter break, but after that momentary bliss, it’ll be another few mindless weeks until your next week of freedom. Maybe then you can work on failing your New Year’s resolutions or, better yet, preparing for your day alone on Valentine’s day.
in support.
“It was thrilling,” a player said after the match. “But they don’t tell you about the pressure out there. With the spotlights and a dozen eyes on me, I knew I had to play my best.”
Though we are only a week into the World Cup as of the writing of this article, excitement is high. However, if you want marginally more accurate coverage of the event, I encourage you to read the Sports article on it; this article was informed almost entirely by TikTok clips that appeared on my FYP.
So it has finally happened. You ate one too many of those suspicious cafeteria burgers and now you’re preg—I mean, your COVID test is showing two lines. You’re all ready to start making those subpar Facebook posts begging for notes when you realize that you have to contact your teachers as well. Shoot! Panic sets in as you remember what happened the last time you e-mailed a teacher—they ghosted you and then publicly humiliated you during class for submitting your homework one minute late. But fear not, because we’ve got you covered! Continue reading for some specsy e-mail tips and templates that will make all of your teachers love you, 100 percent guaranteed!
First, you should start off every e-mail by calling your teachers by endearing nicknames that you should have prepared before the school year started. Some great examples include “Dr. No” and “Mr. You.” This will ensure that they feel comfortable responding to you in an informal fashion, and make them zero percent less likely to ghost you!
Then, just follow the templates that we have so thoughtfully provided! Feel free to copy and paste at your leisure.
“Hello [insert endearing nickname],
Over 100 years ago, Europe and the Americas endured a devastating pandemic that killed millions. I am experiencing a mod-
ern version of that today, as I have unfortunately contracted COVID and will be out of commission, just like the millions of people who were permanently out of commission after the 1918 outbreak of the Spanish Flu. Because of this, I will be in isolation for the next week, just as the U.S. isolated itself from international politics in the 1930s as it tried not to become involved in World War II.
I am very sad to be missing your class, just like lots of people were sad—depressed, even, in the fall of 1929 after the stock market crashed. I will also, unfortunately, miss the test on Friday, but please don’t wage war on my grades the way the French commoners waged war on King Louis XVI in the French Revolution!
My health is sinking faster than the Titanic on April 14, 1912, [insert your name]”
For the science teachers:
“Hello [insert endearing nickname], You’re hotter than the bunsen burner, and I would hate to miss seeing your lovely face every day, but my immune system has failed me, and the COVID virus has already started its replication process. My B-cells have abandoned me, and I cannot bear to do the same to you by disappearing from your classes without letting you know in advance. My circadian rhythm will be counting down the minutes till I can see you again, and when I am finally able to, I will be sure to run to school with an initial velocity of five meters
per second and an acceleration of 10 meters per second squared in the positive x-direction.
On a side note, I hope that you too, see me as hot (in fact, I currently have a fever of 100.4 degrees Kelvin), and that when we see each other again, we’ll have a reaction that goes to completion. After all, according to Newton’s Third Law, if I’m attracted to you, then you are equally attracted to me, right?
In physiological distress, [insert your name]”
For the English teachers: “Holla [insert endearing nickname], I desire yond thou art doing well. Unf'rtunately, i couldst not sayeth the same about myself. A m're minute ago, i did test positive f'r COVID, a woeful piece of news forsooth. The first thing i didst wast e-mail you—i hadst to alloweth thee knoweth right hence. Due to these extenuating circumstances, i shall has't to isolate at home. Mine own heart drops of sorrow at the bethought of not being in thy class f'r the next week, but i'll doth what i wilt to ensureth the safety of thee and mine own fellow classmates.
i shalt seeth thee in a weeks' timeth, [insert your name]”
For the math teachers: “Hello [insert endearing nickname], Unfortunately, the no-choice theorem has dictated that I must stay home after contracting COVID. There is an extremely high
statistical chance that I will infect my teachers and peers, so I will safely isolate myself at home. In the meantime, I will take it upon myself to memorize the first 100 digits of pi. Hopefully, this will exempt me from any other math work that I will miss while I’m out.
Suffering from 360 different degrees of pain, [insert your name]”
For the language teachers: “你好 [insert endearing nickname], Espero que estés bien. 残念 ながら、私は自分自身につい て同じことを言うことができ ませんでした. Il y a à peine une minute, j'ai été testé positif au COVID, une terrible nouvelle en effet. Primum illud egi e-mail tibi; Ilicet ut scias me. Aufgrund dieser mildernden Umstände muss ich mich zu Hause isolieren.
一周后见, [insert your name]”
For the gym teachers: “Hello [insert endearing nickname],
I am so sad to miss your class because I just love jogging in circles for 20 minutes at the start of every class. Due to leading the warmups in front of all of those unmasked kids, I have unfortunately been exposed to COVID. Regretfully, I will not be able to run the PACER test next Monday, even though I had been training so hard for it (my new personal best is two laps!). I will also miss the Gym quiz scheduled for Friday. Do you perhaps offer
Perhaps during your most recent excursion to your Mandarin class, you passed by the Sophomore Bar and heard your fellow schoolmates utter the word “gas.” Despite your confusion, you didn’t stop to bother your infinitely cooler schoolmates and instead continued on, merely hoping they weren’t planning to e-mail the school about a gas leak threat. However fun the last evacuation was, you weren’t in a hurry to have to evacuate outside in the cold again, especially with all the fights that broke out and the impromptu basketball games that were held.
Well, dearest ignorant schoolmate, let me enlighten you. To the best of my knowledge, those particular sophomores were not, as a matter of fact, planning on e-mailing a threat to the school. (Shocking, I know! Perhaps the sophomores aren’t so bad!) Rather, they were talking about the newest craze, the Gas app. Now, there’s no need to Google—I will explain.
This is how it works. After downloading the app, you join your school, add friends (optional, if you have any), answer polls, and get flames when you are picked. According to the App Store, “Gas is where friends tell you what they love about you.” And it’s all for free! “What a nice idea!” you must be thinking. “This seems like such a cool app; I should go download it right now!”
But wait, dear schoolmate! How is it possible for
something this amazing to exist, for FREE?! To answer your question, I have stopped going to my first period gym class and have used the period to search for an swers instead.
tion, I have arrived at the follow ing theories:
Theory 1: Jealous Tech-Heads
being a school for depressed chil dren who know they are good for nothing. As you rush through school, you hear cries of “I’m so stupid!” and “My grades are awful!” Though many older and definitely well-intentioned adults may find this concerning, we stu dents all know that this is just an act. We secretly love our reputa tion and do everything we can to fit into the archetype of the “classic Stuy student.” All those “I’m so stupid!”s are fake—we know we’re really dang smart, but we pretend to be depressed to keep our reputation. It’s part of the oath all Stuyvesant students signed with our Big Sibs at Camp Stuy.
ly started to boost the ego of Stuyvesant students. The past few days, I have seen people beam ing and saying things like, “The amount of people who think I have a nice smile is crazy, I’m actually so happy right now!” This is absolutely ATROCIOUS. Few people realize what a danger this is. If Stuyvesant students become less depressed, we will lose our reputation as the hardest, most challenging school in New York City, and then the cutoff score
for Stuyvesant will go down! We’ll be even easier to get into
ing me. Anyway, it seems that the developers got such a kick
Zoom make-up quizzes?
Already out of breath, [insert your name]”
Finally, a special template for all the bald teachers out there: “Hello [insert endearing nickname],
I regret to inform u that I have contracted COVID and will not be able to see ur shiny, BALD head every day. I would HATE to spread the dreadful disease to you and deprive everyone of seeing your baldness in all your glory for a week, so I take it upon myself to do the responsible thing and stay home.
I am currently suffering from Bald-Head withdrawal symptoms, but I shall brave it for YOU, so that the next time I come to class, I may see the light again, which just so happens to be reflecting brightly off your head.
Regretfully, [insert your name]”
All of your teachers will be so touched by your unique and one-of-a-kind e-mail that they will immediately pardon your absence and even offer to give you 10 points of extra credit! Please be sure to send some thanks (and cash!) to the Humor Department.
:)
However, should you find that your teachers start ghosting you after you use these templates, please call 1-SKI-LLI-SSUE. Also note that we at The Spectator are not responsible for any adverse effects that may result from the use of these templates.
A junior was hiding in the auditorium from her APUSH teacher when I found her and asked her about Gas. She told me, “Oh, you silly sophomore. Gas was created by teachers who wanted to get to know their students better. I heard my physics teacher talking about how he gave better grades to the students who get picked more on Gas.” Her APUSH teacher found her at that moment, so I fled from the scene before she had the opportunity to finish talking to me. I attempted to look for her after that day, but I was unable to ever find her again. I hope she is well.
I heard from several computer science students that a student in Ms. Izagma Alonso’s Intro to Computer Science class coded the app as an extra credit project and automatically received a 100 in the class. The students refused to tell me the identity of this student, afraid that he would get upset at them and then not help them with homework, so unfortunately, the identity of this student is currently unknown.
picked you—all that money is used to pay for the gas the developers use! How ingenious!
Remember when gaslighting people 24/7 was a thing—wait, what? You don’t know what gaslighting is? Naahh, stop gaslight-
there, where they explode things for fun—classic mad scientist behavior. If you make it, good luck getting them to explain to you the connection between all the Hess’s Law problems they are doing.
Despite all these possibilities, many questions still remain unanswered. Who makes these questions? Who chooses them? Is it true that Stuyvesant teachers have joined to see what students are really thinking of them? Is Principal Yu actually going to ban the app? If you have any more information or any answers to these questions, please reach out to humor@stuyspec.com.
Passing the midway point of the NFL season, it’s safe to say that fans are in for a postseason no one could have predicted.
The journey begins at the National Football Conference (NFC), starting in the north. The NFC North, a conference historically run by the Green Bay Packers, seems to be in a Sunday limbo as back-to-back reigning MVP Aaron “Percocet” Rodgers and the Packers (4-7) are nowhere to be found. The “no receivers allegations” seem to have finally caught up with the Packers, as their refusal to draft or sign wide receivers has limited their once dynamic offense. Their secondround rookie, Christian Watson, is shaping out to be promising, with five touchdowns over the last two weeks. However, the Packers’ main hope for keeping their slim playoff chances alive is their backfield, consisting of the perfect agile and power dynamic between running backs Aaron Jones and A.J. Dillon.
However, the Packers aren’t the only surprise in this conference, as the Minnesota Vikings (8-2), have seemed to finally figure it out under first-year head coach Kevin O’Connell, following many seasons of narrowly missing the playoffs. With Kirk Cousins finally getting his recognition as an elite quarterback and
Justin Jefferson establishing himself as the number one receiver in the league, this skilled Vikings offense is quite formidable. Still, as the Vikings seem likely to run away with the NFC North following the addition of Pro Bowl tight end T.J. Hockenson from a trade with the Detroit Lions (4-6), the Chicago Bears (3-8) cannot be ignored. Though currently last in the division, all but one of their losses have been one-possession (eight points or less) games. With their first-round quarterback Justin Fields finally finding his rhythm in his second year, Bears fans should be excited about next season.
Let’s move on to the true trenches of the NFL, the NFC South. Led by the Tampa Bay Buccaneers (5-5), this division is really up for grabs, with all other teams being within three games of clinching the South. However, post-divorce Tom Brady and new head coach Todd Bowles have found their rhythm, overcoming their early season struggles of getting into the endzone. Brady, now 45 and in his 22nd season in the NFL, has not slowed down his offensive production, ranking top two in passing yards (2,805), and coming off consecutive wins heading into the Buccaneers bye week. While the Atlanta Falcons (5-6), New Orleans Saints (4-7), and Carolina Panthers (3-8) still have a shot, it is slim, as Brady,
wide receivers Chris Godwin and Mike Evans, and the once-Super Bowl-winning, heroic Bucs defense have finally gotten their act together. The Atlanta run game, handled by new quarterback Marcus Mariota, may foster some hope for a Wild Card position. However, the injuries to star wide receiver Michael Thomas and quarterback Jameis Winston of the Saints, alongside the quarterback carousel/offensive dysfunction/coach frenzy/struggling defense that is the Carolina Panthers, drag the NFC South down to the gutters of the NFL.
The NFC East is a whole other story. Once the NFC “Least,” with no team above a 0.500 record a mere two years ago, the East has shown up this year. In particular, the New York Giants (7-3) have finally been able to properly utilize a healthy Daniel Jones and Saquon Barkley behind new head coach Brian Daboll and a mean Blue Defense. While the Giants are having their first good season since their 2015 Wild Card appearance’s notorious “Boat Pic,” it could not have come at a worse time, as they currently trail the Philadelphia Eagles (9-1) and Dallas Cowboys (7-3), with the Washington Commanders (6-5) right behind. Each of these teams possesses a formidable defense within the league, but ultimately, the division’s sudden success can be attributed to one position.
Despite what has been said about these teams’ quarterbacks in the past, their jump is what has granted their teams such success. The most expected of these jumps was in Philly through Jalen Hurts, especially after the acquisition of Titans star wide receiver A.J. Brown. The Eagles have been on a revenge tour since getting blown out by the Bucs in last year’s NFC Wild Card game, and they are favorites to reach their franchise’s fourth Super Bowl. The Cowboys’ Dak Prescott has been stellar following an injury earlier in the season, but everyone has been taken by surprise by the heroics of backup quarterback Cooper Rush, going 4-1 as a starter during Prescott’s recovery (only losing to the Eagles) and keeping playoff hopes alive for Cowboys fans. While quarterback Taylor Heinicke (Commanders) has turned it up following starter Carson Wentz’s injury, leading the Commanders to a winning record while handing Philly its only loss of the season, the true hero of this season is Daniel Jones. Facing a contract year and a reputation that had many questioning whether he was worth the 2019 sixth overall pick or even a starting job in the NFL, he has quickly silenced the haters, exposing his desire to win and his potential as a dual threat quarterback.
The final surprises of the NFC come in the East, as the
Heading into the season, the Greyducks set ambitious goals for themselves, aiming to place in the top three at the Frosh/Soph City Championship and win both the JV City Championship and City Championship. Not only were they able to achieve all of these goals, but they also ended their extended season on a high note. Two freshmen, two sophomores, one junior, and one senior represented the school at the New York State Federation Championships, and most of them were able to complete their season bests at the meet. These victories were the crowning achievements of a hard-fought season, as the team faced many struggles on their path to victory. In order to understand how the Greyducks went from disappointed to dominant, one must look back at their journey for gold.
Coming from a transition year after the pandemic, the Greyducks worked hard to get back on track after the 2021 season. During that season, they won the Manhattan Borough Championships in October, but fell short at City’s the following month, placing second under Brooklyn Tech. Additionally, many obstacles were thrust onto their path during the 2022 season. “One of our top returning runners couldn’t make the commitment to her teammates this fall and was re-
moved from the team. One of our top sophomores got injured and had to end her season early,” coach Carl DiSarno said. But the girls were able to overcome these challenges by sticking together and enduring many days of strenuous practice, pushing themselves past their comfort zone.
With their hard work, the Greyducks slowly began to soar. They thrived throughout this season, showing promise in both their varsity and junior varsity victories at the Manhattan Borough Championships. The win didn’t come easily though, as each of the Greyducks had to run their hearts out to defeat Hunter College High School. However, this hard-won victory by a point was only a preview of what was to come at the City Championships.
All eyes were turned to Van Cortlandt Park on November 5 as the Greyducks prepared to take to the course and claim their title as City Champions. Both the varsity and junior varsity runners had to battle exhaustion and dehydration as they ran the strenuous 5000-meter distance in the sweltering heat. Among them was the Greyducks’ own senior Isabella (Bella) Stenhouse. Even after coming back from time off early in the season, Stenhouse was able to defend her title in the event. Her final time of 20:02.87 was instrumental in the team’s victory at City’s, defeating reigning champion Brooklyn Tech. The junior varsity team was also triumphant that day, beating
Bronx Science by a large margin of 42 points. “It was fantastic; it was the first time in cross country history that the girls’ cross country team has won City Championships for both varsity and junior varsity,” senior and co-captain Anna Kathawala said.
While seniors Pimada Phongsuriya and Bella Stenhouse played a key role in their success at City’s, it was their second pack of five that helped bring the team to victory with their toughness on the hills of Van Cortlandt Park. The pack included junior
Seattle Seahawks (6-4) lead the division despite trading away their Hall of Fame quarterback Russell Wilson earlier this offseason. No one could have predicted the emergence of Geno Smith, a career backup quarterback who is currently having a season worthy of the Comeback Player of the Year award, unifying the Seahawks and hoping to bring back their playoff glory. While the Seahawks and their solid rookie class of several Defensive/Offensive Rookie of the Year candidates are doing all they can to clinch the division, the San Francisco 49ers (5-4) are catching up. With the Week Two injury of secondyear quarterback and 2021 third overall pick Trey Lance, Jimmy Garoppolo has found his way back into the starting lineup and gone back to his winning ways. Recently acquiring Christian McCaffrey before the trade deadline to add to their versatile offense and with their young defense as strong as ever, the 49ers are dark horse candidates for not only the division, but also the Super Bowl. While these teams have hopes for a bright season, the same can’t be said of the Los Angeles Rams (37), who have fallen victim to Super Bowl hangover, or the Arizona Cardinals (4-6), who just can’t figure out their offense behind an
Caroline Hon, sophomores Skye McArthur and Honora Muratori, and freshmen Emma Savonije and Jiya Patel. Out of those five, the four underclassmen were competing in their first cross country season. These four runners quickly adapted to the flow of the team, shown through their drastic improvements in times from the start to the end of the season. As the City Champions, the Greyducks were able to qualify for the State Championships, where they performed well and achieved many personal bests, ending their season with success.
As a reward for their monumental victory, DiSarno allowed the girls to dye his hair in the color of their choice. The result: DiSarno attended a family function with vibrant pink tips and an American flag wrapping his buzz cut.
With the indoor track season starting in the winter, the Greyducks emerge dominant as they wrap up an incredible cross country season. The future is not fully set for the Greyducks as they look toward success in the next campaign. The best runners on the team, Stenhouse and Phongsuriya, will be graduating this year. The team will have to cope with the loss of these great talents but are hopeful in the potential of present and future team members to continue to carry the torch. “Our goal will be what it always is: to win the City Championship,” said DiSarno, who was asked what the team’s goals were for next season.
It was match point when junior and second singles Charles Luo delivered a cross-court smash just out of the reach of his opponent to seal the deal, 21-14. Stuyvesant, four, Townsend Harris, one. Game. Players of the Stuyvesant boys’ badminton team stormed the court, hoisting Luo up into the air. With this victory, the team concluded their perfect 2022-23 season, going undefeated and winning the playoffs.
In prior years, the Stuyvesant boys’ badminton team has always dominated. Two back-to-back seasons as finalists, including one in 2021-2022 where they boasted an undefeated record, cemented the team as one of the top teams in the city. Yet despite all the regular season success, they were still missing a title—City Champions.
After a devastating loss in the 2021-2022 finals, the team went
back to the drawing board. They faced a new predicament as they prepared for the next season, as five of their seven starters had graduated. With the uncertainty of their new starting lineup, they looked to the rising underclassmen to fill in the holes. Successful decision-making in the roster from both coach Marvin Autry and the captains translated to another season of dominance. Aside from one 4-1 win against division rival Brooklyn Tech, the Stuyvesant team shut out each of their other nine regular season games 5-0. The new singles roster, consisting of senior captain Lukas Chang, junior Charles Luo, and junior Allen Chao, dominated their opposition, winning all of their matches without dropping a single set throughout the six games they competed in.
The team displayed unmatched talent on the court, but maintaining strong team chemis-
try was equally crucial to their success. With 24 players on the roster, the players garnered lots of support and cheers from the sidelines at every match. “The combination of the improvements our teammates made as well as team morale [contributed most to the team’s dominance]. I believe this was one of the most involved, committed, and enthusiastic teams I’ve seen in the past three years,” Chang said.
With another undefeated regular season, Chang and his team were granted the one seed in the playoffs. Identical 5-0 shutout victories against specialized high school rivals Brooklyn Tech and Bronx Science propelled the team to their third consecutive season in the championship match. The game featured a finals rematch from the 2021-2022 season, as Stuyvesant was slated to play the second-seeded Townsend Harris.
The team entered the match looking for revenge. Chang and
Chao started Stuyvesant off by winning two matches with swift 3-0 victories. The next game was first doubles, featuring freshman Haowen Xiao and sophomore Ethan Sie. The two played neckand-neck against their opponents in the entirety of a three-set match, which ultimately ended in favor of Townsend Harris by two points. One match victory away from the title, Luo delivered another 3-0 victory—a championship-cinching win. Storming the court in the midst of Luo’s championship-clinching win, the meet concluded with a 3-0 doubles win from senior captain Giridhar Bonu and sophomore Nicholas Foh. With a final 4-1 score, there was a new city champion—the Stuyvesant badminton team.
“Pow. We did that.” Autry said in his final speech to the team.
Remarks from the captains put the season in the books. “I’m glad for my senior year, we went
Going undefeated and winning the city championship, the Stuyvesant Birdies rolled over all competition and created another memorable season for the books. A winning mentality and a strong mindset were key to their success.
“I set the PSAL championship, not as an expectation, but as a legitimate goal to work toward,” coach Emilio Nieves said in an e-mail interview. This attitude was set in the buildup to their season, ultimately being crowned girls’ golf Champions for the first time in 13 years. In addition to the championship, the team went undefeated in the regular season, dominating the league at an unprecedented level. Their transition from a playoffs team to a championship team was largely thanks to new members and a strong desire for revenge.
To understand the expectations and pressure going into this season, it’s crucial to grasp how the prior season’s bitter ending impacted the Birdies. Last season, they were a strong team and car-
ried momentum going into the playoffs. After ending the regular season with a respectable 7-1 record, they hoped for a far playoff run, yet those dreams were quickly shut down. They were neckand-neck in their first-round playoff match against Fort Hamilton, going into the fifth match with the score tied 2-2. Unfortunately, Fort Hamilton pulled off the win, knocking the Birdies out of the playoffs. The loss was only fuel for this year, when they eventually, as if by fate, had a chance at revenge.
As sweet as it sounds, revenge was not the only thing that boosted the Birdies’ chance of winning it all this season. With the new season came new students, and among them was freshman Sienna Hwang, who joined the team and immediately turned heads. “[Hwang] instantly became the best player on the team. Having such a great player made us a deeper team, which is the main reason why we won the PSAL Championship,” Nieves said.
“Most good teams have a starting lineup of three, maybe four very good players. [Hwang]’s addition
made us have five very good players.”
Hwang added to Nieves’s statement. “I think the entire team played a really big role [in] winning this year. After all, it’s the first time we’ve won in 13 years,” she said. With a strengthened roster, the team was more than ready for the season, and in their first game, they showed the city that they were the team to beat.
Facing Hunter for a team’s first game can be a blessing or a curse. On one hand, you get the hardest game out of the way and can focus on the rest of the season. On the other, you risk starting the season off on the wrong foot. Seeing as Hunter has made the playoff finals for six consecutive years, most teams believed that beating the school was unlikely to happen. However, the strong and motivated Birdies team ran over Hunter, beating them 3-1 in their first encounter and 4-1 in their second. Even other high school coaches were shocked by the result. “The [Hunter] coach told me that other coaches called him to ask about us, probably in disbelief. The [Hunter] coach
said, ‘No, they are really good,’” Nieves said. The rest of the regular season was smooth sailing, as the Birdies headed into playoffs with a perfect record of 9-0.
This undefeated record was not the work of just one player, as throughout the season, their star-studded lineup shone brightly. The team worked well together, and their sense of camaraderie only improved them as a team. “We all had a really good season overall, and it’s hard to pick one person, because in the end, we’re a team, and we all chipped in,” Hwang said when asked about who had the best season. The selflessness in the team critically built the group’s team-first mindset.
Unlike other PSAL sports, girls’ varsity golf playoffs tend to be quite short, with only three rounds in total. With that being said, the third-seed Birdies easily beat sixth-seeded Cardozo 5-0 to move on to the semifinals, where they met last year’s run killer, Fort Hamilton. The second seed team was no weaker than last year, and as the game headed into the fifth match with the scores again tied
out with a dub,” Bonu said in his speech.
When asked about winning the title in his senior year, Chang delivered a similar response. “It was the last chance for us to prove ourselves and claim the title, so it was very satisfying as an end to our season as seniors. I’m glad that I can leave the school with a team that can see the new potential we’ve created,” Chang said.
Though the team will lose its captains and other crucial pieces next year, the squad remains strong. Juniors Luo and Chao have dominated the entire season, and their experience as seniors next year will be important to guide a team loaded with freshmen and sophomores to a back-to-back championship. “I expect nothing less than what we achieved this year,” Chang said. The team will look to repeat this next season, but for now, they are the new city champions.
2-2, it seemed as though fate would repeat itself. However, this time, it was the Birdies who pulled off the win, getting their long awaited revenge. With that victory, they headed to the PSAL Championship Finals against fourth-seeded Bayside, with hopes that they could be crowned champions.
Rather anticlimactically, the Birdies proved to be just too much for Bayside to handle. Hwang won the first match, and though Bayside snatched a win in the second match, the Birdies took control once again and comfortably cruised to a 4-1 victory, becoming PSAL Champions for the first time in 13 years. “This team is special because it is very talented, responds well to pressure, and is motivated to succeed, both academically and athletically. We have the same team for next year, where the goal will, without a doubt, be to repeat as PSAL Champions. New year, same team, same goal,” Nieves said. The Stuyvesant body will be eager to see if this year is the beginning of a dynasty for Stuyvesant’s girls’ varsity golf.
responsible for the selection of the World Cup hosts, they knew beforehand the perils that came with having Qatar as a candidate. FIFA nonetheless went through with the decision to grant the title to the tiny, ill-prepared nation, raising suspicions of bribery from multiple sources. On the “Qatar World Cup” episode of Last Week Tonight with John Oliver, Oliver comedically called FIFA a “cartel-like group of scumbags and assorted criminals who occasionally put on soccer matches.” FIFA has been notori-
ous for poorly-organized tournaments and suspicions of bribery, something especially evident in World Cup 2022. In response to the heated criticism of Qatar as the host venue, Gianni Infantino, the President of FIFA, gave a bizarre and frankly uninformed speech about the circumstances. When questioned by reporters, he defended and even praised the host country, saying, “What we Europeans have been doing for the past 3,000 years, we should be apologizing for the next 3,000 years before we start giving moral lessons to people.”
Furthermore, LGBTQ+ people’s rights were clearly sup-
pressed by both Qatar and FIFA. Several European national teams were planning to have their captains wear “OneLove” armbands signifying promotion and support of the LGBTQ+ community. However, shortly before the tournament, FIFA issued a statement warning that players wearing the said armband would be given a yellow card, showing compliance with Qatar’s antiLGBTQ+ laws. Additionally, homophobic chants were heard at the very first game of the tournament, and FIFA has yet to take any disciplinary action about the situation.
Other important issues grad-
ually surfaced surrounding women’s and Jewish fans’ rights. Qatari women need consent from their male guardians to marry, study abroad, travel, and receive certain reproductive care. Also, sex outside of marriage is illegal, and women must wear clothing that covers their shoulders and most of their legs. These extreme restrictions added more dissatisfaction to FIFA’s selection of the country as the host venue. Prior to the tournament, Qatar stated it would provide Kosher food and allow public Jewish prayer services at the World Cup. In spite of those words, the country recently banned both, with FIFA
remaining quiet.
All in all, having an underprepared country like Qatar host the World Cup was a human rights disgrace that should have been foreseen by FIFA prior to making the selection. However, the corrupt organization turned a blind eye to the abuse occurring to migrant workers, the LGBTQ+ community, women, and fans of religious backgrounds other than Islam. To restore its reputation and make amends for these mistreated people, it is imperative that FIFA seeks legal action or at least condemns the actions of the Qatari government.
Staten Island’s most competitive division and has generally had the upper hand against the Peglegs in recent years. “We scrimmage Wagner every year and typically lose by a lot,” Deutsch said. However, the Peglegs prevailed against all odds, winning 3-1 with goals scored by senior Aden Garbutt, junior Martin Wu, and sophomore Eben Eichenwald. This early victory proved to be a promising premonition.
By JOSEPH KIMThe Peglegs, Stuyvesant’s boys’ soccer team, have long boasted a strong sports culture centered around leadership, camaraderie, and hard work. This year, the team has continued to cement this winning culture, posting a 7-5 record in one of the most stacked conferences the PSAL has to offer.
Led by seniors and captains Martin Iglesias and Mitchell Deutsch, the Peglegs sought to improve on their 8-2-1 record from the prior season. Iglesias set high expectations for the team at the start of the season, looking to make an even deeper playoff run than the year before. Both Iglesias and Deutsch wanted to make a statement by going farther than teams of years past in the playoffs.
Iglesias expected the best from not only his team, but also himself. “[I wanted to] run up my stats from last year with more
goal contributions than the season before,” Iglesias said. He certainly surpassed all of his own expectations, improving in all statistical markers with four goals and four assists throughout the campaign. Deutsch found similar success, scoring four goals and assisting five others, a massive leap from the previous season.
Coach Vincent Miller also had sizeable goals for this year.
“The expectations for the season, and like every season before, is to finish the season with a winning record and qualify for a playoff spot in the city. I always expect our team to be competing for a top spot in the Manhattan division as well,”Miller said. In a division with historically dominant schools such as Martin Luther King and Beacon, the Peglegs were surely in for a challenge.
Hopes were high after the Peglegs began with a preseason scrimmage victory over their longtime rival, Susan Wagner. The opposition competed in
The Peglegs’s mid-season matchup against Graphics Campus, a team they had lost to 2-0 earlier in the campaign, was the team’s signature victory. The Peglegs put on a display of fight, grit, and tenacity in a game that came down to the wire. The contest started 1-0 to the opposition after an early break. At that moment, it seemed as if the outcome of the game had already been decided. However, Iglesias rallied back, scoring to tie the game at one apiece. His goal uplifted the Peglegs, revitalizing their hopes as they continued passing the ball back and forth, looking for an opener. Wu’s goal at the end of the second half put the nail in the coffin, cementing the Peglegs’ victory.
The Peglegs did not become the dominant team they are today overnight. They experienced some growing pains as their season progressed. Though the team achieved an 11-0 blowout win against the Bayard Rustin Titans, they had lost three of their first four starting games. Things were looking rough, to say the least. “At the beginning of the
season, we had a rocky start. We had chemistry issues, and we were losing games because we weren’t playing as a team,” Iglesias said. However, the Peglegs were determined to prove to everyone that this dynamic would not be the story of their season. The Peglegs practiced for hours on end on the rooftops of Pier 40, scrimmaging until sunset. They learned to work together as one cohesive unit, building chemistry both on and off the field. “We began to bond as a team outside of the field, and sure enough, the group was more united, and results followed,” Iglesias said. The Peglegs gained momentum throughout the season, ending with an impressive four-game winning streak with a point spread of 20-1.
Entering the postseason, it seemed as if the Peglegs were geared to surpass Iglesias’s hopes of making a deep playoff run. However, the team unfortunately suffered a heartbreaking playoff loss to the Golden Knights of James Madison High School. The Peglegs came just one goal shy of upsetting the seventhseeded Knights as the 26th seed. The opposition’s defense was dogged, holding the Peglegs to a single goal scored by Garbutt in the first half on just six shots total by the team. Though the Peglegs allowed two goals in the first 45 minutes, their defense in the second was as solid as a brick wall, clamping the Knights up to a scoreless second half. However, their efforts proved not to be enough to overcome the deficit,
The PSAL winter season is officially underway for 11 Stuyvesant teams, with 16 more to follow in the spring season. Yet in a school where 22 sports are offered in the form of 42 teams, some talented student-athletes are easily driven away from partaking in them. The idea of balancing homework and school, as well as dealing with the mental health implications that come with playing sports, is seen as a prominent reason why so many avoid joining. The question at hand for prospective athletes asks if it is really worth it to compete for a Stuyvesant sports team. While sports can add some pressure and stress, these ultimately do not outweigh all the upsides to competing on a team.
Balancing schoolwork and sports can be a tough task. During their seasons, almost all teams practice or have games right after school everyday. After a lengthy couple of hours at practice, athletes then commute home, and some of these travels may take longer than an hour. As if those haven’t been tiring enough, they realize that they still have hours of homework and studying waiting for them. For many, this schedule leads to a tiresome cycle of minimal sleep and burnout, leaving an athlete’s mental health state vulnerable.
However, with a strong work ethic, along with minimal procrastination, managing schoolwork and a sport is possible. Some Stuyvesant athletes even claim that playing sports ultimately ends up helping them with their work. Sophomore Rebecca Pereira, who plays for the girls’ varsity soccer team, explained how the sport has helped keep her on track. “Ninety-nine percent of the time, games and practices really improved my mood,” Pereira said. “It seems counterintuitive, but playing a sport improved my homework and schoolwork in general. I went home already feeling productive, feeling physically well and healthy, and that also reflected onto my mental health.”
However, these mental health effects are not entirely beneficial. The mental health concerns, a consequence that many are not aware of in sports, raise a valid point for Stuyvesant students not to join teams. A study done by Rich Neil, a graduate of the Cardiff School of Sport, and others determined that making mistakes and the fear of losing are major contributors to lingering mental battles for athletes before, during, and even after matches.
The impact of sports on mental health is especially visible in individual sports. In sports like tennis, badminton, swimming, and track and field, there is more pressure on solo athletes to perform
at a high level, as their struggles cannot be made up for by their teammates. A study conducted by Matt Hoffman, who works in the Department of Kinesiology at California State University, reflects slightly higher anxious, withdrawn, and depressed scores in individual-sport athletes. Sophomore James Xu, who plays individual tennis, noted some of the disadvantages to competing in an individual setting. “Even if you have a team supporting you and cheering you on, the pressure of being the difference between losing or winning a playoff match is hard to bear, especially since only you can affect the outcome of your game,” Xu said. “And worst of all, if you lose, you can’t blame your teammate.”
Yet when asked about his preference, Xu noted some of the reasons he enjoys competing individually. “For me, I really wouldn’t have it any other way. I think solo sports are much more rewarding, and you can make a big impact on your team in solo sports. Plus, solo sports allow you to bully your opponent more,” Xu said. Eventually, individual sports feel similar to team sports as you start to build lasting relationships with your teammates.
A team setting only further alleviates the mental health implications, prompting many to join team sports. The environment created allows athletes to
discuss the sport with each other, and in addition, it creates reassurance for the player that there are others competing alongside them. Through team bonding, close relationships are built, giving athletes a sense of comfort and familiarity during games and practices. Unsurprisingly, team sports boost mental health, as a similar study conducted by Hoffman showed that organized team sports correlated with slightly lower anxious, withdrawn, and depressed scores.
Pereira, who plays soccer, a team sport, described the mental benefits of a team setting. “One of my favorite parts of playing on a team [is] the connections and friendships you make. Not only do these friendships flourish off the field, but on the field as well, since relationships play into the team’s chemistry. These teammates motivate you and encourage you on and off of the field. It’s great when you can count on your teammates to boost your morale in general every day,” she said.
Sophomore and JV football captain Braminder Kumar also raised similar points in building relationships with others. Joining the team with no prior experience, he developed through the coaches and upperclassmen, and created lasting relationships thanks to the sport. “[Coaches] would always say, ‘You are just as
losing 2-1. “We were built to win playoff games. I really felt that this team could have had a long playoff run,” Miller said. Though the Peglegs’ playoff aspirations were crushed, all who played their hearts out in that game left them on the field.
Though the Peglegs may have had somewhat of a disappointing end to the season, they certainly have a bright future ahead of them. Despite losing many talented seniors such as James Colvin and Ryan Petrauskas, the team’s leading scorers, as well as their unsung hero, goalie Sayeb Khan, the Peglegs are retaining their core. Eighteen of the 27 rostered will continue to exert the team’s winning culture next year. Wu and sophomore Michael Avrahami, who scored four and three goals, respectively, will return next year to continue the Peglegs’ reign of dominance. Deutsch applauds the nonseniors who stepped up when it mattered most. “A lot more underclassmen are going to be starting, which is great, because it prepares them to start their senior year,” Deutsch said.
Iglesias shared his aspirations for the next generation. “[I hope] the team stays close together and [...] that they need to play as a team if they want to produce results,” he said.
Expectations for the Peglegs remain unchanged: to force a deep playoff run. With the talent the Peglegs currently have on roster, there’s certainly no reason to think otherwise.
strong as the weakest link on your team,’ and those words struck me the most, as football [is] a team sport and emphasizes the importance of not having an ‘all-star’ player in our team rather than an ‘all-star’ team,” Kumar said. “In the end, this wasn’t just a team. It’s a family that sticks up for each other on and off the field.”
So, what’s the final verdict on playing sports at Stuyvesant? “Hard, but worth it,” Kumar said. Though sports take time and commitment, there are countless upsides. Sports can get students through school and give them something to look forward to, and they’re also key in building physical strength. “Physically, tennis is pretty much the only exercise I do, and it keeps me in shape. Stuyvesant can feel monotonous and boring, and sports really spice up school life and allow me to get through 10 classes a day,” Xu said.
With the spring season coming up in a couple of months, consider joining a PSAL team. We, as students of Stuyvesant, are lucky enough to have the opportunity to choose and compete in almost any sport. Through the experiences of our very own athletes, sports have been attributed to a great number of positive effects on mental, physical, and emotional health, and they will continue to remain a huge, bright part of Stuyvesant culture.
“We were built to win playoff games. I really felt that this team could have had a long playoff run.” ––Vincent Miller, coach of the boys’ soccer team.By ANAS AHMED
The upcoming UFC 282 event in December looks to cap off one of the most interesting years in recent mixed martial arts history, one that boasts a grand total of eight UFC belt changes. This number marks the fourth most title changes ever in a calendar year, a masterful followup to last year’s rollercoaster that saw nine belts switch hands. Fight fans across the world, however, can agree that the upsets this year held more weight than the previous year, as we saw some of the UFC’s longest reigning and most dominant champions fall to new contenders.
Going down the list of champions from 2021, fans did not have high expectations for many challengers. With UFC 270 in January, where former champion Deiveson Figueiredo got the judge’s decision to retake his belt from flyweight rival Brandon Moreno, we saw the first of many title changes to come over the calendar year. Four months later, at UFC 274, Carla Esparza defeated Rose Namajunas via another split decision in a close but admittedly lackluster fight. Meanwhile, we witnessed dominant fighters such as middleweight champion Israel “The Last Stylebender” Adesanya and lightweight champion Charles “Do Bronx” Oliveira reign supreme as they defended their titles successfully in the first half of the year.
At UFC 275 in June, Glover Teixeira fell to Jiří Procházka via rear naked choke in a match where fans believed Teixeira had won the majority of the five rounds. Amanda “The Lioness” Nunes reclaimed her throne in the women’s bantamweight division at UFC 277 in July, defeating Julianna Peña via unanimous decision. But nothing could prepare the fight world for the second half of the year, when
we saw champions who had defended their belts time and time again succumb to the hands of their opponents.
Kamaru “The Nigerian
ered the knockout kick straight to the skull of “The Nigerian Nightmare.” As Usman fell unconscious to the floor of the octagon for the first time in his
reclaim his lightweight throne. “The champion has a name, and that is Charles Oliveira,” Oliveira said ahead of UFC 280. What Oliveira did not expect was for
is known for overcoming the odds and winning fights he has initially been losing.
awful coaching staff led by head coach Kliff Kingsbury.
The Atlantic Football Conference (AFC) has been far tamer this season, meeting expectations for the most part. To begin with, in the South, head coach Mike Vrabel and the Tennessee Titans (7-3) are en route to clinch the division with ease, despite the Indianapolis Colts’ (4-6-1) owner Jim Irsay’s midseason decision to fire head coach Frank Reich and hire Colts Hall of Famer center Jeff Saturday (1-1) in a desperate effort to turn the season around.
The West is similar, with the Kansas City Chiefs (9-2) and Patrick Mahomes dominating as expected, and the Los Angeles Chargers (5-5), whose defense was hyped up this offseason with the acquisition of All-Pro linebacker Khalil Mack and cornerback J.C. Jack-
Nightmare” Usman, former champion of the welterweight division and known for his death grip over the 170-pound belt for the past three years, came into UFC 278 in August looking to tie Anderson Silva’s record for the longest win streak in UFC history. After the world witnessed Usman destroy his opponent, Leon “Rocky” Edwards, in traditional dominant fashion throughout three of the first four rounds, Edwards’s head coach Dave Lovell delivered the speech of a lifetime heading into the last round. “Stop feeling sorry for yourself,” Lovell said. “Come on, then, what’s wrong with you?”
In true Rocky-esque fashion, in the last minute of the final round, Edwards deliv-
career, the crowd erupted. No one could believe what they had just seen. “The belt belongs to nobody,” Edwards said in an emotional post-fight interview. Rocky’s win over Usman displayed how nothing in the UFC is guaranteed, with no win being granted until the fight officially comes to a close.
Following that banger of an event was UFC 280, which saw a fight of a similar magnitude to Usman vs. Edwards. Oliveira had reigned supreme over the lightweight division since he had won the belt vacated by the great Khabib Nurmagomedov in May of 2021. With only one title defense (against Dustin Poirier) before he was stripped of his belt for missing weight by one pound at UFC 274, Oliveira wanted to
what he believed rightfully belonged to him. Despite Oliveira’s championship-caliber performance in the past, Makhachev came into the fight as a -190 favorite to win the fight, with Oliveira at +170. The odds came to fruition on fight night, as Makhachev’s fierce wrestling and ground-andpound style proved too much for Oliveira. Makhachev eventually sealed the deal in the second round via arm triangle. Despite the odds, many did not expect this win, as “Do Bronx” Oliveira
son. The only surprise in this division is the Denver Broncos (3-7) and newly acquired quarterback Wilson, who rode themselves to their couches for this January.
The AFC East is more exciting, because similar to the NFC
rently lead the division, thanks to new head coach Mike McDaniel’s innovative offensive mind and third-year quarterback Tua Tagovailoa’s leap to stud status with the help of All-Pro receiver Tyreek Hill. At the bottom are the New
is the dogpound of the NFL: the AFC North. Currently topped by the Baltimore Ravens (7-3), this division has evolved into a bout between the Cincinnati Bengals (6-4) and the Ravens, as each team looks to make a run at the play-
Topping off an amazing year in mixed martial arts, UFC 281 gave us a spectacular event which some have dubbed the greatest UFC event in history. Fight fans from across the world were mesmerized as we saw legend Frankie Edgar retire after 15 years in the UFC, Poirier put on a masterclass against Michael Chandler, and Zhang Weili take down Esparza via rear naked choke in the second round of their title bout. As for the main event of the night, Adesanya looked to defend his middleweight belt for the seventh time against UFC newcomer Alex “Poatan” Pereira, a familiar foe to Adesanya. The two had butted heads when Adesanya was a kickboxer for Glory Kickboxing. Ending his kickboxing career with 75 wins, he took only five losses in the organization, two of those being to none other than Pereira. That’s why after only four fights in the UFC, Pereira was given the opportunity to challenge “The Last Stylebender” for his long-held throne in the middleweight division. After several heated press conferences, the night finally arrived, and viewers were prepared to watch a clash of formidable rivals. We witnessed a masterclass from Pereira as he took down reigning middleweight champion Adesanya with a flurry of punches in the fifth round.
In a year when belts have changed hands at almost every major UFC event, it’s only fitting that the year ends with yet another title change in a vacant light heavyweight title bout between Jan Błachowicz and Magomed Ankalaev. It will cap off what has been one of the most surprising years in mixed martial arts history, with the real winner being the fight fans across the world who get to watch all these sensational fights.
East, all teams have a winning record. The Buffalo Bills (7-3), under X-factor quarterback Josh Allen, are early Super Bowl favorites, second in the division. The Miami Dolphins (7-3) cur-
York Jets (6-4) and New England Patriots (6-4), who, despite poor offensive play, find ways to keep winning games with their standout defenses.
Last but certainly not least,
offs. While both teams lost their best pass-catchers for some time this season (Baltimore tight end Mark Andrews, Cincinnati receiver Ja’Marr Chase), they have been able to keep winning as their run
games step it up. At the bottom of the division are the Pittsburgh Steelers (3-7) and the Cleveland Browns (3-7). The Browns have waited desperately for their controversial Pro Bowl quarterback Deshaun Watson to return from suspension after signing him for a record deal this offseason, but even his Week 13 return will not be enough to save this team’s playoff hopes. The Steelers, however, have given up on their playoff dreams as they invest in a young trio of offensive rookies: Kenny Pickett, George Pickens, and Najee Harris. Though their offense has been abysmal this season, head coach Mike Tomlin refuses to turn to his offseason signee quarterback Mitchell Trubisky and is fully committed to have Pickett use this season as a learning experience. While this season may seem dim for the Steelers, they have a bright future to look forward to.
Passing the midway point of the NFL season, it’s safe to say that NFL fans are in for a postseason no one could have predicted.Carmen
Name: Susie McKnight
Grade: 12
Height: 5’ 4”
Hair Color: Brown
Eye Color: Brown Date of Birth: January 11, 2005
Name: Sophia Wan-Brodsky Grade: 12
Height: 5’ 7”
Hair Color: Brown
Eye Color: Brown Date of Birth: January 16, 2005
1. When and how did you start playing soccer?
Susie: I started playing when I was really young in my local rec league, probably around the age of three or four. I played rec up through middle school, but I joined club as well around the third grade, and I’ve been playing ever since.
Sophia: I think I started when I was around six or seven, also in a rec league. I ended up playing for their travel team, and then switching to a different club (Gjøa) when I was in sixth grade. I have been with them since then.
2. How long have you been on the Mimbas, the Stuyvesant varsity girls’ soccer team? What inspired you to join the soccer team here at Stuyvesant?
Susie: I joined my freshman year, and obviously we didn’t have our sophomore year because of COVID, but we’ve been on it for the past two years as well. It was kind of natural that I was going to join the team. I had been playing club for about five years at that point, so I was definitely looking to play in high school because I just like playing. Also, my club team is off in the fall, so I wanted to keep playing during that time.
Sophia: Yeah, same. I was there for the same years as Susie. It was very similar, where it was the natural thing just to join the team, and it was always the plan for me to play in high school.
3. What positions do you play, and what skills/strengths are involved?
Susie: I play center-attacking midfielder. I feel like that’s a playmaker position, which is primarily involved in the attack, but you’re also supposed to get back and defend as well. It requires a lot of running and distributing the ball. You don’t have much time on the ball, because you’re in the middle, so there’s a lot of pressure and you have to be very aware of your surroundings and have the ability to use your body and stand up against players.
Sophia: I used to also play central-midfield, but that was just for my freshman year. Starting my junior year, and also this year, I have been exclusively playing centraldefense. I think the biggest thing is being brave, super physical, fast, and aggressive. What I ended up liking about the position is that I feel like it’s the highest risk position because a mistake can easily be a goal against your team, so it has a lot of duty that comes along with it and a lot of responsibility. That was just something that I really liked growing into because I had never really played that before, since I was always a midfielder. But that changed, and I became a better player after I started playing defense and [grew] more decisive and confident.
4. What is your most memorable moment with the Mimbas?
Susie: I would have to say the playoffs last year. It’s the farthest we went in our careers at Stuyvesant, to quarterfinals, and I think it’s the farthest we’ve gone in recent Mimbas history. Honestly, it’s just really fun. Each playoff game is a struggle. The first one was kind of easy, but it was a good bonding experience, coming into that second round game and getting the win. It was honestly just really fun and brought the team together.
Sophia: The moment I always remember the most was from my freshman year, where we were down a goal. I scored with just a few minutes left in the game, and that was actually my first goal for the team. We ended up winning in extra time a few minutes later, so without my goal, we would’ve lost. That was really powerful because I was still a freshman, so I wasn’t being played the entire game prior to that ( it was the upperclassmen usually), so that felt like a very big moment to prove myself.
5. Do you have any plans to continue playing soccer in the future or in college?
Susie: I’m definitely not going to play varsity soccer in college, but I would definitely say I plan to play club soccer in college. I feel like I’ve been playing at a competitive level for so many years, so joining the high school team just feels natural. It’s been my source of exercise and stress relief for so long and it’s a pretty integral part of my life, so I definitely plan to continue, just not at the same level.
Sophia: The same as Susie. I definitely will play some sort of soccer in college.
6. Do you have any pregame superstitions or rituals?
Susie: I’m kind of infamous for taking forever to get ready. I need my hair to be perfect, and I just do a ponytail, but I don’t want any bumps. I always wear pre-wrap. I use purple pre-wrap for Stuyvesant and blue pre-wrap for club. Also, before I step on the field, I put on my chapstick and take a sip [from] my water bottle. I don’t know why, but that’s just something that I developed.
Sophia: I don’t know if it’s a superstition, but I always tuck my laces in. I tie them, but with the loops you have after, and everything hanging off, I always tuck it in. Somehow my laces come undone anyway though.
7. What is your jersey number, and what made you decide that number?
Susie: My number is 18, which has been my number for my club team for about seven years now. I was lucky enough to have it available in my size during my freshman year, so I have been able to continue wearing it at Stuy. After my club randomly assigned me the number 18, I originally disliked it and even tried to change it, but it has since grown on me.
Sophia: My jersey number is five. I’d never had that number before, but when I was little, I decided that five was my lucky number, so I’m happy that it was in my size.
8. Did the team accomplish the goals it had this year? How would you rate your season?
Susie: We came into the season with a lot of new faces, so our first goal was building team chemistry, an essential element in order to [succeed]. Our main focus was the attacking side as it had completely shifted from last season and was primarily made up of underclassmen. Throughout the season, we improved our connection and offball movement immensely. However, we struggled with getting effective shots off. Overall, I am so super proud of how much we grew as a team and would rate the season an eight out of 10.
Sophia: I definitely agree with Susie on this one. When the season starts, you throw together 20 girls across four grades: many of them don’t know each other, and, for this year, a lot of them were joining a Stuyvesant sports team for the first time. The primary goal was to turn this group of girls into a team, and I absolutely saw that happen during the season. Every single player became better over the course of the season, and this was one of my personal goals as a captain—making sure we all improved. The only thing that made the season less than perfect was [the difficulty] completing opportunities in the attacking third. Like Susie said, getting in good shots was a challenge, including finishing crosses. This was frustrating because we had all the other pieces in place, but we just lacked that final five percent at times. I’d rate the season an eight out of 10.
9. What are the best and worst parts of soccer?
Susie: One of the best parts for me is the community you build with your teammates. I have met so many amazing people that I likely
would have never crossed paths without Stuy soccer. Creating those relationships makes every goal much more exciting and every practice so much more fun. I would say the frustration that comes with soccer is the worst part. Sometimes my team is having an off game or I am not playing as well as I would like, and I find myself getting upset and angry. I have learned to take a second to calm myself and ensure that I keep a good attitude, but those unsatisfying games or practices can be hard to get through.
Sophia: The best part is having something to look forward to every day after school. The soccer season is my favorite time at Stuyvesant. I love being able to see my friends at practices. Playing is always such a great release from stress and it always makes me feel happy. The worst part for me can be having to stay back at defense. There are some games that require more of the defenders, and there are some games that require more of the midfielders and forwards. I can’t abandon my position—that’s how goals get conceded—but that can make it feel like parts of the games are out of my hands. That can be frustrating.
10. Is there a particular coach, teammate or soccer player you feel inspired by?
Susie: Sophia. She stepped up to play center back and lead the defense line during her junior year with essentially no experience in the position. Center back requires composure, aggression, and general awareness of the field, and Sophia has managed to master all three of those elements, plus more, throughout the past two years. Her adaptability is the reason we have been able to be successful in the defense.
Sophia: Susie! I loved having her as a co-captain. Leading alongside her was an amazing experience. She impressed me so much with her confidence and talent on the ball all the way back to our freshman year season. I’ve seen her become so strong and capable as a captain. She works magic in our midfield, working her way out of situations where she’s being double or triple-teamed by players from the other team and still [delivering] great shots and passes.
11. How did you adapt to losing a year of soccer due to COVID-19 lockdowns?
Susie: I was lucky enough that my club team continued to practice during that year of remote learning.
It felt a lot different from the typical season, with freezing practices in the snow and the incredibly inconvenient mask mandate. However, I was grateful for the opportunity to continue to play on a competitive level and keep my skills sharp, which allowed me to return to Stuyvesant soccer in decent shape.
Sophia: It was similar for me. My club held in-person practices during my sophomore year, though at the end of my freshman year, these practices were virtual. I think I managed to come out of quarantine a better soccer player than I was at the start of the freshman year season. I had learned so much from that first year, and I really got to digest it during that year away, though having that season definitely would have been more helpful to my development. After soccer in my freshman year, I joined the track team and have been running consistently ever since, including over lockdown. I came into junior year a smarter and fitter player.
Susie McKnight
Funniest Teammate: Kavya Green
Favorite Soccer Player: Pablo Gavi
Favorite Soccer Team: USWNT Brand of Cleats: Nike Playing on Full or Light Stomach: Full
Favorite Sports Drink: Celsius Favorite Post-Game Snack: Goldfish
Hobbies:
Long walks, listening to music
Motto to Live By: Always be prepared for the unknown.
Soccer Pet Peeve: Not picking your head up and looking around the field.
Fun Fact: I got good Taylor Swift tickets.
Sophia Wan-Brodsky
Funniest Teammate: Kavya Green
Favorite Soccer Player: Megan Rapinoe/Son Heung-min
Favorite Soccer Team: USWNT Brand of Cleats: Adidas
Playing on Full or Light Stomach: Light
Favorite Sports Drink: They are all disgusting.
Favorite Post-Game Snack: Chocolate chip cookies Hobbies:
Baking, running, rock climbing
Motto to Live By: Be brave.
Soccer Pet Peeve: When people lift their arms trying to trap a ball out of the air.
Fun Fact: I have a pet gecko.
By AMIR ELNASHAR
The selection of Qatar as the host nation of the 2022 World Cup was made in 2010, bringing resounding joy to the streets of the tiny nation. Given that it
most of the country is covered by desert, the difficulty of laying the groundwork for new engineering projects was multiplied. To organize the cup, Qatar had to build seven new stadiums, a transportation system, new roads, and 105
was the first time a country from the Middle East was hosting the tournament, the decision was a huge deal for the region, which holds less than three million people with an area smaller than that of Connecticut. Qatar is the smallest country to ever host the event, but as one of the world’s largest exporters of liquified natural gas and petroleum, it was more than ready to undertake the massive financial burden.
Nevertheless, there were some obvious issues with having Qatar as the host of the renowned tournament. First and foremost was the lack of infrastructure in the country. Since
hotels, not to mention upgrading an existing airport and creating an entirely new futuristic city dubbed “The City of Football.” None of these things came at a small price, though, especially when counting the labor required to construct the modern real estate of Lusail City. Qatar ultimately spent about $220 billion on the World Cup, totaling more than all previous World Cups and Olympic Games combined.
Ironically, the nation that spent by far the most money on any sports event in history ran into major issues with human rights, mainly involving the reception of migrant workers. The
Hyun Bum (Benjamin) Hur / The Spectator
majority of these laborers came from impoverished regions of South Asian countries like India, Nepal, and Bangladesh. Their treatment was appalling. Forced to work under inhumane conditions and left with less money than they started with, migrant workers who were brought into Qatar could neither leave the country nor switch jobs without explicit consent from their employers. They were also stranded to work in temperatures reaching up to 125 degrees Fahrenheit and forced to live in poorly managed camps under unsanitary conditions. For many, the initial high hopes of sending money back to their families were utterly crushed due to the brutal treatment allowed by the Qatari government and construction agencies.
In a PBS NewsHour interview with Anish Adhikari, a migrant worker from Nepal said, “The water we got was almost 90 percent ice. We asked why they did that and told them it was impossible to drink water like that. They said they froze it because if they provided normal water, the workers would drink more.” In addition, many workers were compelled to sign false agreements that took away their passports until they worked for a certain period of time. Some were not paid for their labor at all, eliciting multiple media outlets from around the world to accuse Qatar of facilitating forced labor and modern slavery. According to estimates from multiple organizations, over 6,500 workers died during Qatar’s World Cup
construction preparations—a staggering amount compared to the 21 that died building arenas for the preceding World Cup in 2018.
Girls’ Varsity Basketball vs. Baruch College Campus HS HOME 5:00 p.m.
de Football Association (FIFA), the association overseeing the World Cup and most other soccer-related events in the world. Given that FIFA is ultimately
By MAX SHIMBO and KAILEEN SOAs the sun set at the girls’ cross country PSAL City Championships, the Greyducks, Stuyvesant’s girls’ cross country team, were still winded from their race. With cellphones in hand, they eagerly refreshed the
team scores from the meet. For the varsity race, the first-place position had alternated between Bronx Science and Stuyvesant multiple times throughout the day. As the final score came in, the Greyducks were under their tent, shielded from the sunny 70-degree weather. They’d done it: both the junior varsity and
varsity teams were victorious, placing first in their respective competitions. Instantly, celebration erupted from the team— everyone knew that the win was deserved after a successful but turbulent season.
THURSDAY
Boys’ Varsity Basketball vs. Eleanor Roosevelt HS JHS 167 (Wagner MS) 6:00 p.m.
CALENDAR 13 DECEMBER 14 15 16
WEDNESDAY
Boys’ Table Tennis vs. Institute for Collaborative Education HOME 4:30 p.m.
FRIDAY
TUESDAY
Girls’ Gymnastics Meet Christopher Columbus HS - GYM 4:40 p.m. 20
Boys’ Swimming vs. Bronx Science HS HOME 4:30 p.m.
21
THURSDAY
Wrestling vs. Harry S. Truman HS HOME 5:00 p.m. 22
Girls’ Table Tennis vs. McKee/Staten Island Technical HS HOME 4:30 p.m.