Volume 113 Issue 9

The Spectator

FEATURES

Putting Pen to Paper: The Life-cycle of an English Essay

Delving into the process of an English essay, from its initial assignment to the final grade. see page 5

OPINIONS

Body”

By OLIVIA HAVEN and VINCENT WANG

Stuyvesant Spectrum, a club dedicated to creating a safe space for LGBTQ+ students and allies, hosted its first Chosen Family holiday dinner on December 22 in the cafeteria. Approximately 50 people were in attendance.

As suggested by its name, the goal of the dinner was to celebrate the chosen or found families of Spectrum members. “This is the first time we [held] a Spectrum dinner. It was called the Chosen Family dinner because many people aren’t safe to be out at home or with their families,” Spectrum cabinet member Margaret Mikhalevsky said. “[...] For a lot of queer people, the holidays are a really stressful time, especially if their families aren’t accepting or [if] they were outed. Or people can have a hostile environment where they have to hide who they are. So we just wanted to have a holiday celebration for everyone and their chosen families.”

This spirit of the dinner al-

lowed Spectrum members to cultivate community bonds beyond their biological families.

“I liked the idea behind it, the whole thing about having a chosen family […] I love the idea of

Standards Opinions writer Ushoshi Das shares her experiences as a female wrestler, aiming to answer the question: why do so few girls wrestle? see page 11

Wrestling the

Stuyvesant Spectrum Hosts Chosen Family Holiday Dinner

pecially for those with families or relatives who may not be accepting of their identities. “I think DiCo[landrea]’s speech was especially wonderful […] It hit home for the LGBTQ+ stu-

“DiCo[landrea] was so, so good. I genuinely was crying by the end of his speech. […] He was telling his own story, and how at some point we would be in [a better] place, even if it’s not now,” H. said.

The dinner primarily used catering services, but various Spectrum members contributed to the assortment as well. The guidance office also assisted Spectrum in organizing the dinner and bringing in food.

“The guidance counselors, all of them, really helped us out a lot. Some even brought in food, [and] some helped us set up on the day of the event,” Mikhalevsky said. “Some of us brought in our own food, some of the guidance counselors brought in food, and the rest was catering.”

NEWSBEAT

Senior Kathleen Zhang was selected as one of 300 scholars of the Regeneron Science Talent Search for her project “Temporal Regression Method for Removing Hemodynamic Signal During WideField Fluorescent Imaging of Epileptiform Activity.”

Stuyvesant hosted a guest speaker event featuring Sesame Street producer and Emmy award-winning Richard Fernandes on January 12.

Senior Lianne Ohayan, junior Caroline Stansberry, and sophomore Rayen Zhou were chosen as this year’s SING! coordinators.

The 2023 StuySquad performance was on January 20.

tradition, and I’m really into it, but I’ve never been able to participate in it because of my family,” junior Pepsi H. said.

At the dinner, speeches were given by Principal Yu and former teacher K.M. DiColandrea.

DiColandrea’s speech discussed self-acceptance and hope in the LGBTQ+ community, es-

dents going through hard times and I think it was very impactful for us to hear from a queer person who’s been through similar things as we have and come out happy on the other side,” Mikhalevsky said.

Many attendees agreed that DiColandrea’s speech particularly resonated with them.

Mikhalevsky empathizes that Spectrum sought to foster a welcoming environment that encouraged all sorts of people to attend. “It was just a really nice event for a lot of people, even if they’re not able to be as

Stuyvesant Hosts a Google Panel for Computer Science Education Week

By KEVIN CHAN, SETH FENTON , and ANDY LAU

Stuyvesant hosted a panel of four Google employees on December 13 in the Murray Kahn Theater. Organized by computer science teachers James Dillon and Izagma Alonso and moderated by sophomores Alex Panas and Tamiyyah Shafiq, the panel featured Andrew Myers, Catherine Liang, Benjamin Taubenblatt, and Pratik Worah, who discussed their educational backgrounds, career paths, and current positions at Google. The presentation was followed by a brief Q&A, in which the audience submitted their questions through a Google Form.

The event was organized as part of CSEdWeek, a yearly initiative of computer science educators and technology organizations to help students learn about various career opportunities within the computer science field. “[Google] had a pool of volunteer Googlers who were

available for various CSEdWeek activities,” Dillon said in an email interview. “My goal with the panel was to bring stories from tech professionals to our students. […] All of our panelists told stories of perseverance and hard work that many of our students found inspiring.”

Liang, Taubenblatt, Myers, and Worah first discussed their different work backgrounds and areas of expertise related to computer science. Liang and Taubenblatt are both software engineers: Liang’s team focuses on the Android System UI, while Taubenblatt’s work centers around the speech recognition infrastructure used in products such as Google Assistant. As a network architect, Myers focuses more on networking systems and improving the efficiency of data transfers. Worah is a senior research scientist who utilizes his PhD background in theoretical computer science to work on algorithms, probability theory, and AI at Google.

In their presentation, the panelists wanted to give students an opportunity to learn more about what a career in tech could potentially look like. “I wanted to help advocate for computer science education, so that students can understand [the] career options available to them in tech,” Liang said in an e-mail interview.

The panelists who spoke about their different positions at Google informed students about departments that attendees were formerly unaware of. “I learned that Google has a lot of different departments that don’t necessarily have to do with coding,” junior Qi Wang said. “It kind of showed me that you don’t have to be [a] full-on computer science nerd to get into Google.”

For many attendees, this diversity in panelists made the presentation especially informative and appealing. “The panelists represented not only different age groups but also different [directions] they decided to go

with their careers,” Panas said. “Hearing from all these different people in all their diverse fields gave a really good perspective to all the people there.”

Some students related to the presenters’ stories and were inspired to follow a similar career pathway. “[Liang resonated with me] because she didn’t really get into any big summer programs. Because that’s probably something that would happen to me, like not getting into any summer internships and just making projects, it’s interesting to know that there’s still a pathway for me to get into Google by doing that,” Wang said.

Though the panelists gave advice specifically targeting a future at Google, they also dug deeper into their personal experiences, inspiring attendees in other facets of life. “[The presentation] kind of made me realize that people try to focus on studying one thing or being dead set on what you want to be, but life is about more than just

Stuyvesant hosted a Celebrate Science Event to share students’ independent research, featuring Stuyvesant alumna Nina Uzoigwe (‘17), on January 6.

Stuyvesant’s Monthly Safety Committee meeting was held virtually on January 10.

The Stuyvesant Theater Community’s winter drama, Hedda Gabler, was performed on January 11, 13, and 14.

doing one thing,” junior Jason Qin said.

Overall, the event had a large turnout, mainly consisting of students interested in learning more about the future of and work experiences in the computer science field. “Between 150 and 200 students attended. I was really satisfied with the turnout, especially considering it took place during the school day and not after school,” Dillon said.

The administration also believed that the panel proved to be successful in providing connections for students who might have any concerns in the future. “The panelists stayed afterwards to talk with students individually for 30 minutes. All of the panelists [also] offered to stay in touch with students via e-mail,” Dillon said. “One piece of advice that permeated the event was that, to be successful, you should create a professional network. The presenters walked the walk, as they say.”

Courtesy of Casey Pedrick

Stuyvesant Spectrum Hosts Chosen Family Holiday Dinner

active in the club,” Mikhalesky said. “It’s […] an event to show what Spectrum is all about. […] Some alumni from Spectrum past showed up, and some teachers as well.”

ly supposed to be held in the teachers’ cafeteria, the event was moved to the lunchroom due to a scheduling conflict. However, this turned out to be beneficial for organizers in light of the fact that turnout was higher than expected. “We were supposed to have the dinner in the teachers’

ing that the dinner fostered a sense of unity among them. “It was pretty successful. The food was quite good, [and] we had a good time just talking together,” sophomore Nina Skiba said. “It was a nice environment.”

Moving forward, Mikhalevsky and other Spectrum

WORLDBEAT

New

Supporters

Though turnout was higher than expected, Mikhalevsky hopes to increase advertising to raise more awareness for future events. “I would [have liked to] advertise it more and advertise it earlier,” Mikhalevsky said. “Some people weren’t aware that it was going on,” she said. While the dinner was initial-

cafeteria, which is much smaller. We would’ve had way less capacity and we wouldn’t [have] been able to make it as big as it was, so I’m really happy that [space] ended up freeing up,” Mikhalevsky said.

Overall, reception to the event was positive, with many Spectrum members express-

members hope to make the Chosen Family holiday dinner an annual celebration. “This is a really nice event to show what Spectrum is all about,” they said. “I think it went really well. The food was great, the guidance office was amazing, everyone was happy with the catering, [and] people showed up.”

An

Stuyvesant’s Badminton Team Receives First Place for Holiday Door Decorating Contest

The event organizers were originally inspired to host the contest by staff members who have decorated their doors in previous years. “One of the things we’ve been doing this year is […] trying to encourage more school spirit,” School Business Manager and Director of Family Engagement Dina Ingram said. “There are some staff members who decorate doors for the holidays and so we [thought] that it was a great idea.”

Stuyvesant’s badminton team was announced the winning team on December 23. Their design consisted of a colorful Christmas tree and a ladder of minions dressed in winter apparel. After devoting time and effort into the detailed artwork and planning, members were excited to learn about the results. “When I saw the e-mail, I was really happy and the first thing that I did was send it to my friends who helped me decorate the door,” junior and badminton team Vice President Natalie Keung said.

Though the team only recently received their prize, they have already determined their fund allocations. “We will spend about one-fifth of it on buying the plastic birdies, and the remaining amount we will divide within each meeting, since courts are expensive to rent. We will [also] take a few dollars off of each person[’s dues],” Keung said.

[originally] had an idea that didn’t really work out so we had to start over,” Keung said. “We didn’t really realize the deadline was coming until the last minute, so we rushed a lot on Monday and Tuesday night.”

In response to the tight deadlines, administrators aim to provide more preparation time in the future. “I think what we learned from it is maybe to start a little sooner, because […] most of the festive doors were not up until that last week before break,” Ingram said.

Regardless of the numerous challenges that participants faced, the contest provided necessary bonding opportunities, making it an unforgettable experience.

“[The contest was] a chance for us to have a team bonding moment over working together on the door,” Foh said. “It was really fun staying after school with my friends to work on [it].”

Ultimately, organizers of the door decorating contest hoped to provide a fun, challenging, and spirited competition for participants, and they plan to host the contest again in years to come. “We hope to have more people join in and decorate [in future years]. There’s no reason not to continue as long as we have the unrestricted funds to be able to do it,” Ingram said. “We had a great time and I hope the kids did too […] It was so hard to decide a winner.”

By PRAPTI BISWAS, XUEMING LI, ZOEY MARCUS, and JUDY NAMKOONG

Throughout the month of December, the Stuyvesant administration and Student Union (SU) hosted a holiday door decorating contest between clubs. All participating teams filled out a form to

be assigned a door and were then given two weeks to decorate the door to ultimately be judged for prize money that would be added to their respective club accounts. The badminton team won first place and received $500, the Junior Caucus won second place and received $250, and the girls’ varsity basketball team won third place and received $100.

However, during the doordecorating process, the team was unable to find sufficient participants, which made it difficult to find materials and come up with ideas. “[Difficulties with] finding materials and brainstorming an idea, [as well as a] lack of people able to work on it, [were all issues],” sophomore and member of the boys’ badminton team Nicholas Foh said.

The decorating process was also time-sensitive, especially because participants had to deal with strict deadlines. “It took [us] at least five or six days [...]. We

Elon Musk announced on December 20 that he will step down from Twitter once he finds a successor.

York Representative-elect George Santos was caught lying on his resume in order to get elected to congress.

of former Brazilian president Jair Bolsonaro attacked the Brazilian Supreme Court, Congress Building, and Presidential Palace on January 8.

unidentified assailant wreaked havoc at the Gare du Nord in Paris on January 11, injuring six civilians, and has since been shot and taken into custody by the police.

A special counsel was appointed on January 12 to investigate classified documents found in President Joseph Biden’s private office and home.

Courtesy of Wikimedia Commons and NASA

“It was pretty successful. The food was quite good, [and] we had a good time just talking together. It was a nice environment.”

—Nina Skiba, sophomore.

Both Sides of the Counter: Bound by More Than Business

By ANKITA SAHA and CATHLEEN XI

Perhaps one of the most valuable privileges Stuyvesant offers its students is the option to leave school grounds during lunch breaks and free periods. This gives students the opportunity to explore the neighborhood of Tribeca, which is densely packed with restaurants, food carts, and coffee shops. Over the years, several of these spots have become staples among Stuyvesant students.

The Battery Park City Gourmet Market, a deli christened “Ferry’s” by Stuyvesant students, sits on the corner of Chambers Street and North End Avenue. Its nickname is a portmanteau of the phrase “Fake Terry’s,” a reference to a similarly popular deli, Terry’s, nearby. The student-fueled rivalry between the two delis is an inside joke shared by students, fueling the never-ending debate over which is the superior “-erry’s.” As each generation of students grows attached to their favorite deli, they become part of a tradition that will continue long past their time at Stuyvesant.

Eva Moore, a Ferry’s cashier who has been an employee for over 14 years, reflected on the student culture that she has observed working at the business. “Every year I see the different kids, it’s a different experience, and it’s nice; it’s nice to see them grow. I would say [the culture] hasn’t really changed, it’s the same people; I’ve known people for more than 13 years, working around—many people in the buildings, teachers—so not [much] really changed,” Moore reminisced. Even as the Stuyvesant student body experiences frequent changes in leadership, policies, and academics, the culture built around Ferry’s persists, remaining a comforting constant in the Stuyvesant experience.

Moore pointed out the unique challenges that she has experienced at her job as a result of the pandemic. “I love this shop;

it’s not really a challenge [to work here]. The only challenging thing I’ve had [to face] was when there was the pandemic. It was pretty hard—I mean, I come here every day, and take care of the people walking around, and they really need us to open to buy food,” she explained. “Sometimes I get worried [about] work, [because] I have kids at home.” While Stuyvesant students were able to adapt to an online learning format when the school building closed, the local businesses around Stuyvesant did not have the luxury of shutting down. The lack of students in the Stuyvesant

she commented. Kim expressed that she has had very positive interactions with the workers at Ferry’s, something that makes her appreciate the deli even more. “The cashier was super nice. She was really patient with me. I remember this one time I was trying to get change out of my bag and she was waiting and was like, ‘Take your time, it’s fine.’ And it was really sweet,” Kim said. In Kim’s eyes, these local eateries have become an integral part of the Stuyvesant community. “Everybody knows what you’re talking about when you say Ferry’s or Terry’s,” she pointed out.

local food carts years after graduation. “I think it’s something, regardless of what year you’re in or if you’re an alum, you still look back [at] and remember,” she said. “It’s a bonding experience [for] Stuyvesant students to get coffee from the cart after pulling an all-nighter.”

Mohamad Sherzada, who has been working at the Chambers Street Coffee Cart by the 1, 2, and 3 train station for 22 years, shared his experience from the other side of the cart’s sliding window. Every day, flocks of students exit the subway station and stop by the cart. Sherzada

“Every year I see the different kids, it’s a different experience, and it’s nice; it’s nice to see them grow,” —Eva Moore, Ferry’s Cashier

building forced workers to navigate a vacuum within the customer bases of nearby eateries. At the same time, employees had to prioritize their health while their businesses remained open to serve their remaining customers.

Despite the ups and downs, Moore enjoys working among students and is attached to the crowds that swarm Ferry’s during lunch periods and after school.

“To be honest, if they told me to go somewhere else, I couldn’t, because I love the place. You know, to serve the kids. I think they’re more gentle, and I think I’m enjoying it a lot. Sometimes they come in with the jokes, they make me laugh. Sometimes they make me a little upset, but it is what it is,” Moore said.

Whether it’s the vast menu or simply the convenience of its location, Ferry’s has become a cornerstone of Stuyvesant culture.

Sophomore Lily Kim shared that she enjoys the business’ welcoming environment. “It’s got that classic New York deli vibe, except it’s in Tribeca and it’s upscale,”

Like Kim, sophomore Colyi Chen often purchases food from Ferry’s and expressed that local businesses like Ferry’s allow students to connect with one another, though not necessarily directly. “A lot of people go to these places, and a lot of people get similar foods there,” she explained. The immense popularity of Ferry’s specialties, including the Roma Panini and the Bacon Avocado Chipotle on a roll, is proof of the traditions that have been passed down for years.

While some of Stuyvesant’s favorite local food spots are famed for their sandwiches, others have gained reputations as both mood and energy boosters. Many students make it a habit to visit the Chambers Street Coffee Cart every day, where they are able to purchase a caffeine fix while striking up a lively conversation with the cart’s employees. “The two guys that work [at the cart] are really nice and prepare the coffee perfectly,” shared sophomore Reem Khalifa. She noted the nostalgia that the Stuyvesant community feels when visiting

expressed his appreciation for his student clientele. “[I] enjoy [my job because of] the school. [When] people are coming in the morning time, there’s laughing and happiness. When the school is getting off [for break], I get pissed off,” he said.

What Stuyvesant students do not see are the hardships Sherzada faces in running his coffee cart. He explained that a constant challenge for him is his early clock-in time. He wakes up at 2:30 a.m. every morning, a time when some Stuyvesant students are just getting into bed. At 5:00 a.m., he is already parked at his usual location, ready to greet another day’s worth of customers. With over two decades of student interactions at his cart, Sherzada has had a similar experience to Moore with being near the Stuyvesant building. “Only the students have changed. They graduate,” he said. “The students finish and the new people come in. That’s it. That’s the only change.”

However, according to Fermin Torres, who has worked at Terry’s for the past decade, even

Recollections of Altruism

By THE FEATURES DEPARTMENT

“When I was seven or eight, me and my mom were coming home from the train station. We were grocery shopping, so we had a lot of bags and we were late to get off the train. So, as I stepped out, the door closed behind me. I was scared out of my mind and started crying when these two women came up to me and gave me their phones to call my parents, and waited with me the whole time while I waited for my parents.”

—Ibtida Khurshed, sophomore

“Somebody sending me a yo-yo.” —Danny Shao, sophomore

“I remember being lost and confused as a freshman here, and having Big Sibs around to show me around the school really helped.” —Tiffany Wong, sophomore

“Though I appreciate each and every thing everybody has done for me, the kindest actions someone has done for me were listening and accompanying me during one of the dark ages in my life. They gave solace and comfort, a sanctuary of some sort that anchored me from going too far.” —anonymous, junior

“I got a poem from someone after being good friends for a bit.” anonymous, sophomore

as generations of students come and go, alumni still stop by their favorite Stuyvesant eateries for a nostalgic snack. The deli is a convenient spot for Stuyvesant students, located on the same block as the school building and a short walk away from Rockefeller Park, where students enjoy sitting on park benches framed by a scenic view. Terry’s sells an assortment of snacks and customizable sandwiches, as well as the famed pizza bagel. Torres sees up to a hundred students daily, as well as some Stuyvesant alumni. “A lot of students pass through the years, and they’ve always joked with me then, and sometimes they come back after they graduate. Some still come by for the pizza bagel,” Torres said.

Perhaps the magnetism of these local businesses has to do with the socialization they foster, which has helped students to come out of their shells. Sophomore Dannyar Ahkmedov shared that visiting these local businesses has caused him to strike up conversations more often. He also expressed that they can provide the opportunity for students to sample the diverse array of foods that New York City has to offer without straying too far from Chambers Street. For Akhmedov, the ability to explore the variety of eateries allows him to appreciate the unique culture both within and outside of Stuyvesant.

Since the year Stuyvesant moved to Chambers Street, its students have shared a unique relationship with the local eateries that surround it. The lives of employees at nearby food carts, delis, and restaurants inevitably intertwine with those of the student body, even as generations of students come and go. These spots are not only reliable sources of sustenance, but also environments that are familiar and relaxing. An unwavering entity in Stuyvesant culture, popular local eateries are undeniably essential to the dynamics of our school as we know it today.

“I had lost my chorus binder and another student I didn’t know had told me that they found and kept it for me. All while I was at rehearsal, he waited outside of the school for two hours until I was done to give the binder back to me.”

Shera Zhou, sophomore

“One of my friends bought me yummy candy and sweet Asian snacks for my birthday and we also went to Dunkin Donuts together and had ice cream. It was really special to me because this was the first time I really did anything like this with a friend instead of just like a family dinner. Also, it was really meaningful because it was just my first time receiving a present in general and my friend doesn’t like going outside a lot so it was sweet she went out with me that day.” —Ayesha Talukder, sophomore

“One time my friend told me that I gave her the confidence to speak in a room full of people and that made me feel really good about myself.” —Raaita Anwar, sophomore

“One time at the Starbucks drive-through, the car in front of me paid for my order. I was having a bad day and that really cheered me up.” Alexandra Tsarenkov, senior

“A friend customized a scarf and sticker for me this Christmas.” —Alan Chan, sophomore

“My mom did my chores for me during finals week so I could study.”

Sofia Thornley, sophomore

“[Have someone] be a substitute for my mom.” —anonymous, junior

“I’m not sure about the kindest, but I have this one friend I’ve known since elementary school I’m really close with who buys me birthday, Christmas, and congratulatory gifts—like for graduation—when she doesn’t have to. It’s really nice because we haven’t hung out with each other in years, but we’re still close to each other.” —Angel Huang, freshman

“It was in middle school when I was on the bus, and before I got out, the doors shut. I didn’t know how to tell the bus driver, and these three random middle schoolers yelled at the bus driver to open the door. That was pretty nice of them.” —Muna Faruqi, sophomore

“I was on the train, and I was struggling so much with my sandwich. I was trying to wrap it so it wouldn’t spill in my bag. And the guy next to me saw me and was like, ‘do you want this bag?’ And I was like, ‘yeah, thanks.’” — Colyi Chen, sophomore

“When BooGrams were being packaged, I was in charge of the last minute packaging and many volunteers had already left. Though it was late into the evening, some of my friends and members of SU stayed behind and helped me package until 12 a.m.” —Yoonha Shim, sophomore

Stuyvesant students recount the times in which they’ve witnessed kindness.

Putting Pen to Paper: The Life-cycle of an English Essay

By ADA GORDON, HIFZA KALEEM, and RHEA MALHOTRA

A blank Google Doc. Crumpled up pages of rough outlines. An open book, ravaged for a quote that barely resembles evidence. Such a scene is familiar to many Stuyvesant students: scrambling late at night in a struggle to complete an essay for English class. After all, the “life-cycle” of such an assignment is lengthy and far more involved than students may initially think.

The process of concocting an essay begins well before the actual writing does, typically with the introduction of a new text for analysis in class. Some teachers, such as English teacher Dr. Emily Moore, have students consider assignments from the very beginning of a book. “I use something teachers call backwards design. So you think about what you most care about as a writing technique or a measure of student understanding, and that is the assignment. And I always give the assignment really early in the reading of anything, so that students can track the book in a way that recognizes the writing skills,” Dr. Moore said.

When it comes time to write, one of the biggest challenges is simply starting the assignment. “For me, the hardest part is beginning, because you don’t know what to begin with, like how to introduce the essay,” freshman Amelia Estevez said.

Usually, students will take the time to find a starting point, allowing the rest of the paper to fall into place. “What I do is I just wait until inspiration strikes for a really good thesis, and then writing the essay is honestly easy. I’ve done a few essays so far this year, and it’s worked every time,” Estevez said. She then explained what she looks for in a good thesis: “It’s something that we didn’t necessarily talk too much about in class. Something that seems kind of unique or genuinely my idea. And something that could be clear and easy to walk through paragraphs to explain and improve.”

For others, inspiration can come from outside sources. “I take a lot of inspiration from various sources. So it’s sort of like emulating for me. When I’m writing an essay, usually I do a lot of reading

from my favorite authors,” sophomore Madeline Hutchinson said.

An essay includes more components than just a thesis, of course; examples from the text are required to serve as evidence in support of a claim. Sophomore Olivia Callahan explained that the strength of this evidence can define an essay. “If it’s like an evidence based essay, it’s like trying to find certain quotes that fit what I’m trying to say. And then I com pile them all together and create a thesis based on that,” she said.

Teachers try to give students an ample amount of time to gen erate such ideas. Assistant Prin cipal of English Eric Grossman explained the flexibility of his deadlines. “Most teachers aim for the sweet spot of giving you ample time to finish […] the text [and] generate ideas, find evidence, if it’s that type of paper,” he said.

However, Grossman noted that there is such a thing as having too much time. “[You can]not let it get too far away, either.

Because [...] two months later, you don’t remember the book. So, usu ally I’d say within a week to two weeks of finishing a work [is an ideal timeframe],” he said.

This abundance of time makes English assignments more relaxing for some students. “The English teachers are really nice, and they give me really, really long days to work on it. So I just kind of put it last because I know that it’s some thing that I’ll enjoy,” said Hutchin son.

Using the allotted time to rumi nate on their writing can also help students complete the assignment in a timely fashion, easing procrastination. Though students admit to procrastinating, the excuse is waiting for the perfect thesis. “After I get that thesis in, I can write it in like two days, so I don’t think that procrastination is that bad,” freshman Audrey Hilger said.

Of course, as with most assignments, sometimes students don’t want to work on English essays just because they are disinterested in the topic. “If I’m passionate about the topic, then I probably power myself through it. But if I’m not really [interested], I probably would be procrastinating,” Estevez said.

After the tedious process of

writing, students must edit their work—a sometimes harsh but usually beneficial stage. “I send my essays to my peers to have a peer review,” senior Chris Dong said. “It really does help because your teachers will just be smarter. Your teachers are more experienced,” he said.

Most students agreed that their writing has only improved dur-

essay, students certainly do. When Dong was asked whether he writes for a grade, he said, “Obviously. As a Stuyvesant student, you want the best.” However, Dong said that while he does aim to get a good grade, he also writes about what he is personally interested in. “I try to write what’s true to my heart, while also writing in the smart, analytical way, that will answer the prompt,”

triumph of creativity, analysis and sophisticated language,” whereas a B would be a “competent, if uninspired, effort.” This provides the flexibility both teachers and students need—work can be interpreted as desired, yet graded fairly.

Still, what distinguishes an A paper from an A+ paper? According to Moore, this is “a classic Stuyvesant question.” Her answer?

“A+ papers tend to create another level. So maybe the student goes a little bit further in, like, once you’ve proven your thesis thinking about why a writer is doing a certain thing,” she said. This correlates with the rubric, which says that an A+ essay “may actually transcend the strictures of the assignment.”

Moore did note that, in an ideal world, English assignments wouldn’t need numerical grades.

“I’ve tried to create [...] a simplified grading scale that does give numbers because we have to, because we all use Jupiter, and Stuyvesant loves numbers, but that also tries to be respectful of nuance and variation,” Moore said of her poetry workshop class. “And I’m just one reader. And sometimes, you know, a student will write a poem and another student will be really moved by it. And so you know, who am I to come in over the top and be like, this is a 91.”

in grades faster,” said Hilger when asked if she had any suggestions for English teachers.

Interestingly enough, teachers don’t worry about how they will grade an assignment when they first receive it. “Numbers and grades are the last thing on my mind when I read,” Grossman said. “You know, I think of it as reading a piece of writing the way I’d read an essay in The New Yorker, or a novel. And what I hope for, when I sit down to read a piece of student writing, is the same thing that I had hoped for when I sit down to read anything, which is to be entertained and delighted,” he said.

While teachers may not think about grading when they read an

remains of how essays can be graded purely on the quality of writing. “Reading is inherently subjective,” Grossman said. Still, the school has tried to promote fairness by implementing a departmental rubric. “A bunch of years ago, we spent a year as a department working to create [it]. It’s not points, it’s descriptive. As both a teacher and the head of the department, it matters to me that students should be treated fairly, and there be as much consistency as possible across classrooms,” Grossman said. Rather than giving a specific checklist of what different grades entail, the rubric describes different levels of writing; for instance, an A+ would be “a

Baubles, Knickknacks, and Tinsel

By JOHNNY LIN

Shiny tinsel was draped over the boughs of a tree in the Sophomore Bar, Christmas carols emanated from underneath the Senior Atrium’s Christmas tree, and a jolly snowman greeted students on their way into the building.

During the month of December, various decorations began to appear throughout Stuy. Eventually, these festive sites around the school became convenient photo ops, places to hang out, and spheres of holiday cheer.

The Christmas tree at the Sophomore Bar was the first decor to appear. Around the end of November, sophomore Jonathan Metzler began asking for donations at the Sophomore Bar. He and fellow sophomore William Li campaigned the donation for a Christmas tree for all sophomores to enjoy and elaborately decorate together. The Christmas tree was finally brought and set up on December 9 with the help of others at the Sophomore Bar. “It was very hard getting it through the

door, and, yes, people were giving us some weird looks, but other than that, it was easy,” sophomore William Li said.

Throughout the days leading up to winter break, ornaments, tinsel, and lights began to appear on the tree. “There was one afternoon where we went to the Writing Center and stole all their paper clips, then we put all the ornaments on the tree using their paper clips,” Metzler recalled.

Overall, the decoration process was collaborative; sophomores spent their free periods adorning the tree with handmade ornaments. “I know that during third, seventh, and ninth periods of that day [of the tree’s arrival], a lot of people were contributing decorations. Many brought decorations from their own homes,” Li said.

About a week after the sophomores’ tree went up, an eight-foot inflatable snowman wrapped in LED light greeted students at the Senior Bar by the second floor entrance. Arranged by members of the Senior Caucus and Coor-

dinator of Student Affairs Matt Polazzo, the snowman was one of the first projects this team accomplished. “I was very worried that the snowman was not going to survive the holiday season, but it was a Christmas miracle that Frosty survived,” Polazzo commented.

Almost simultaneously, a Christmas tree appeared in the Senior Atrium. “We first saw the sophomores put up their tree. We were originally planning on having a tree, but once we saw it, we were like, ‘We have to top this,” Senior Caucus co-president Erica Li said. “The Senior Caucus has always decorated the atrium during winter holidays, so [...] we talked logistics with Mr. Polazzo, then went out to buy a bigger tree.”

Polazzo took on the task of getting a tree, supposedly bigger and better than that of the sophomores. “I went to get the tree with the Senior Caucus at the tree sales guy across from McDonalds. [...] I had [Student Union President Ryan Lee] and [Senior Caucus copresident Andrey Sokolov] carry

the tree,” Polazzo said.

The tree in the senior atrium was decorated with customized ornaments, and a speaker playing holiday music was placed underneath it. “We had photo ornaments, where seniors got to send in photos, and then we hung them up on the tree, so as you walked by you got to see your friends,” Erica Li said.

In addition, the Student Union and administration held a schoolwide door decorating contest for the students to express their festive spirit around Stuy. Representing her club, sophomore Fiona ‘Eve’ Lin participated in the contest, and found the experience to be a highlight of her experience at Stuyvesant. “It was really fun. We roped in a ton of people, some of whom weren’t even in the club, just a group effort of all my friends drawing the day before it was to be judged,” Lin said.

When asked to comment about how their projects brought the community together, most of the organizers mentioned that the

Grossman emphasized that the key element that he looks for in an essay is the voice of the student writing it, urging students to let their personalities shine. “Above all else, what English teachers look for when they collect a batch of paper is to feel the writer’s presence,” he said. “Like you’re engaging with an actual flesh and blood person, not just essay number two.”

Though writing an English essay is both a daunting and timeconsuming task, students should remember that writing is ultimately a tool of expression. Teachers aren’t looking for an essay that just checks boxes in a rubric; they are looking for the student behind it. What matters more than any letter is what that student has to say. It is only when this has been established—when an author has been truly heard—that the words will flow freely. Then, perhaps, they may get the oh-so-desired A+.

collaborative task of decorating increased the festive mood. “We wanted to make sure that we were making fun memories for our class and leaving resources for future classes to create [more memories],” Sokolov commented.

Though short-lived, these decorations were met with enormous positivity and support from students because they represent the community within Stuyvesant. Sophomore Zarrin Ahmed regularly spends her free periods at the Sophomore Bar and was usually seen contributing to the tree. “I was happy that all the students came together to haul the tree in, and picking out the ornaments was nice. The addition of the tree not only provided foliage, but an overall sense of livelihood to the bar,” Ahmed said.

The festivities at Stuyvesant were genuine displays of our community coming together to create an ambiance that everyone could enjoy. The heartwarming atmosphere ensured all Stuyvesant students get to enjoy a tidbit of winter cheer.

Yile Tong / The Spectator

Senior Closing Comments

Oliver Hollmann

You fools. You idiots.

My tenure working at the student organization known to the in-crowd of Stuyvesant as the “tator” was nothing but a carefully planned ruse. My tactical ascent through the ranks of writer, Editor-inTraining, editor, and editor in charge of crosswords was orchestrated from the moment I stepped into whatever room Spec Humor was in. It was only after I brutally decapitated the two Editors-in-Chief in my voracious chase for power that I thought to myself: “Was it all worth it? This ruthless, bloody conquest of an institution?” The answer was, as they say in Ohio, “Yes.” During my time at The Spectator, it was not the adoration and shining status that was bestowed upon me that brought me joy, but rather the friends I made along the way. Sorry, I meant the friends I killed.

Lauren Lee

Under NYC law, we are guaranteed 180 days of schooling each year. Despite that, it feels like we never got those 180 days of school every year. We never imagined our freshman year would be cut short by a virus we didn’t even know existed, that we’d have to do jumping jacks over Google Meets with each other for PE or take physics tests with masks over our mouths wondering if we’d ever have a “normal” school experience again.

Now, I sit here writing a message to students who will be in my shoes one day—five days before becoming a second-term senior. I cannot tell you not to worry about your grades or to try to sleep more because that’s not what my experience was like. I want to tell you that it’s okay to stress about that chemistry test. It’s also okay to sleep less than you did in middle school because there are too many experiences to have during the day to sleep. I tell you this because I know if I said otherwise, you’d ignore me.

Unfortunately, and fortunately, that’s a part of the experience you’ll have here. So if you’re going to worry about grades and choose to sleep less than the ideal minimum amount, do it with your friends. I will always look back at my experience here fondly. Despite constant stress about physics and calculus exams, I only remember the laughs I had with my friends while studying for them. Despite the panic I felt when I received my first low grade in computer science, I only remember the bond I formed with my teacher through countless office hour sessions. And despite numerous sleepless nights, I only remember the late-night gossip sessions at Bridging Seas meetings and the coffee runs with my friends.

So, an apocalyptic event might occur during your freshman, sophomore, junior, or even senior year—who knows? All I have to tell you is to cherish every moment you have here.

Shafiul Haque

I first came across The Spectator during their recruitments back in March 2020, before doomsday hit. Fast forward three years, 43 issues, and 31 articles later, and it’s time to say goodbye.

I often wonder what would have happened if I hadn’t gone to recruitments. What if I went home that day only to return two years later with no remembrance of The Spectator? How scary that world sounds.

As I wrap up my tenure as a Spectator-er, I fear that I’ll become forgotten among the history books. Mr. Garfinkel has reminded me that past Editorial Boards have passed by in an instant. I don’t want our accomplishments in the Sports department or the late-nights we’ve dedicated to the paper to be lost amongst the pages.

I hope that years from now, people will remember the legacy we’ve left on The Spectator—the iconic 615E room, the newspapers dispersed during critique day, the never-ending circular conversations, and NeMo’s attempts to control the editors from erupting into chaos.

To the next generation of Spec, I wish you the best of luck––get those drafts in on time and continue those antics in 615E. I know for certain you’ll reflect on those memories with a longing to go back.

David Chen

Yes, we are nearing the end of high school, the thing that we dread every day, that is, until we are about to lose it. I suppose the immediate reaction some people might have is “hooray,” but I say the following with both honesty and bittersweetness: I have already begun to miss the good old days during high school. It genuinely seemed as if it were yesterday that I was just an innocent, clueless freshman lost in the wonderful whirl of opportunities

that is high school. But if there was one thing that I did right, it was joining The Spectator, along with the myriads of communities that I can proudly call home. Sitting here in the darkness of my room, finishing up my closing comments just 13 minutes before the deadline, I can still fondly envision, clear as day, four years’ worth of cherished memories with my fellow Speckies, friends, and teachers, whether they encaptured sadness, ecstasy, or anything in between.

But sappy reminiscence aside, I do have several pieces of advice, crystalized and etched into the depths of my brain folds by the myriad of sleepless nights spent grinding homework and projects. First, remember that sleep goes first. All-nighters are rarely worth it, and if one is, it’s probably because you procrastinated (smh). Second, going to office hours is not a chore. Instead, you will find yourself pleasantly surprised by your teacher’s extensive knowledge of their respective subjects but also their life stories and invaluable lessons that they will, in turn, impart to you. Third, and cliché as it is, believe in yourself. Believe in your own potential, and you’ll do amazing things. I would’ve never thought to have ended up where I am today without the fire inside me that just keeps on burning, pushing me to strive for more and never settle for less.

One more thing before I stop rambling: please give “Raise y_our glass” by Huh Yunjin a listen. It is a surprisingly inspirational song for when you feel down. And with that, go forth, younglings, and indulge yourselves in that newfound obsession, KPop phase, anything, and don’t look back!

Shreya Roy

Everyone wants to reach for the skies and have their whole life planned out, including me. Freshman year, I came into this school with a whole lot of plans, goals, and hopes. Honestly, I can’t pinpoint the moment when those freshman year preparations were thrown out the window, but my lastminute application to become an editor for Layout certainly was the result. Ending up here in The Spectator, now soon to leave, was never in the plan.

You might find yourself throwing out your plans too. Take it in stride. Don’t tolerate the things you don’t enjoy just because it’s the next step in the plan for your dream career, college, or other goals. Feel passionate about your homework, extracurriculars, applications, and so forth. High school is not only the next step, and besides, feeling miserable for four years kinda sucks.

Danny Xiong

Walking from one class to another, I would hear endless students crying about a test, going to therapy, getting their hearts broken, stressing about college, and so on. Honestly, my last four years weren’t bad at all.

When I got into this school, I was prepared to spend my teenage years bored, depressed, and overwhelmed with projects and homework. But I made friends! Unforgettable memories! There were so many things that made all the effort worth it. Find hobbies, explore interests, meet new people, and use your four years to discover who you are and who you will be.

Ahh. The Spectator. I love The Spectator (everyone should definitely join, it’s super cool). As one of the supreme leaders of the Layout department, I recommend you join the Features department, or the Opinions department; just don’t join Layout. I hated how our sending schedule lined up perfectly with my math test so that I bombed everything. I also hated when my brains and eyes were moments from exploding, and then I discovered that we were a page over or a page short. Only join this department if you’re super awesome and strong like me. But I do love The Spectator.

Anyway, I’m happy lol.

Samantha Hua

There are parts of Stuyvesant that I will miss and parts that I definitely won’t. I’m not going to pretend like the past four years have been a smooth ride, but life rarely is. I can’t deny, though, that this environment has pushed me to grow in boundless ways. I have learned how to be resilient in the face of failure. I have dreamed bigger because of the people around me. I have found communities that empowered me to test my own boundaries of what’s possible. Many memories have formed within these walls and, in the end, they will be the only things I remember. Set aside time for those moments. Don’t get caught up in preparations for the future. Those pieces will fall into place eventually. Live in the present, always.

The Spectator

the Student Body”

EDITORS IN CHIEF

Momoca Mairaj* Maya Nelson*

NEWS EDITORS

Isabella Jia* Janna Wang

FEATURES EDITORS

Lauren Lee Shivani Manimaran Christina Pan

OPINIONS EDITORS

Peter Goswami Anisha Singhal*

SCIENCE EDITORS Sathirtha Mondal Sonya Sasson

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITORS

Nicole Liu Kenisha Mahajan* Levi Simon

York, NY 10282

312-4800

The

HUMOR EDITORS Oliver Hollmann

SPORTS EDITORS Taee Chi Shafiul Haque*

PHOTOGRAPHY EDITORS Alexander Lopez Zifei Zhao

ART DIRECTORS Afra Mahmud* Vivian Teo

LAYOUT EDITORS Susie McKnight Shreya Roy Danny Xiong

COPY EDITORS Nada Hameed Ruiwen Tang Raymond Yang

BUSINESS MANAGERS Inara Rabbani

WEB EDITORS David Chen* Samantha Hua Theodore Yochum

FACULTY ADVISER Kerry Garfinkel

EDITORS IN CHIEF Rebecca Bao* Phoebe Buckwalter*

NEWS EDITORS Talia Arcasoy** Sarah Diaz Seth Fenton**

FEATURES EDITORS Dalia Levanon Suyeon Ryu Olivia Woo

OPINIONS EDITORS

The seniors of the Editorial Board say goodbye, as this is their last issue with The Spectator

Senior Closing Comments

Anisha Singhal

I remember the first time I was called a “nerd” was in fifth grade. I was very offended.

Recently, I told a friend, “I’m so excited to edit this issue! We have articles on crypto, soccer, female rage…” “You’re such a nerd,” she said affectionately.

And I, having gone through all that character development jazz since fifth grade, enthusiastically agreed. Here, it’s a compliment to be a nerd. It’s a place where it’s cool to be smart and eager to learn.

At Stuyvesant, we have the opportunity to be surrounded by some of the smartest people. Our math teachers can spot a minute mistake in a page filled with limits, sigmas, and integrals. Our history teachers can go on 10-minute tangents about the politics of parking lots. Our English teachers can recommend a book or poem that perfectly completes the thoughts we write about in an essay.

It’s not just the teachers. The students at Stuyvesant make crazy robots that can climb monkey bars. There are freshmen solving math problems most people can barely read. I’ve edited Opinions articles so packed with emotion that they’ve brought me to tears.

This place is a palace of knowledge. We tend to forget that as we plow through homework and cram for tests, but there are ways to make the Stuyvesant grind fun (-ish). To study for an AP World test, I remember reciting the history of camel-back travel to my family on a road trip. I talked to my parents about our insurance policies after learning about them in Personal Finance, my friends and I quiz each other on calculus theorems as we run in Polar Bear PE, and my brother’s bedtime story is my AP Government notes.

My advice is to get as many people involved in your education as possible. If it takes a village to raise a child, it takes a city to educate a Stuy kid. Luckily, we have that city available to us. So embrace your ne! This is the best place to be one.

Raven (Ruiwen) Tang

Intrinsically, we are all spectators. We are gifted with the ability, doomed and entrusted with the obligation, to perceive and take it all in: ourselves, each other, the human condition. We must dearly treasure and broadly apply our spectator-ness: by choosing electives that we are hesitantly curious about, by perusing the offerings of the Stuyvesant library, by traversing new routes to school and class, by opening our ears and hearts to our peers. In these ways and others, we must push ourselves to get out and spectate. We must. It is only then that we will be able to close a chapter (a volume, an issue) of our lives with satisfaction and delight: the satisfaction and delight that we were there, that we were truly present, that we absorbed some morsel of value, that we opened our eyes and saw and learned and loved something before it was over.

Zifei Zhao

If there’s anything that Stuyvesant and therapy have taught me is that there’s no point in stressing over uncontrollable situations. Let July be July and let August be August.

High school is one of those unique times in your life when you can make mistakes with minimal consequences. Nothing really is ever that serious. Take that day off, fail that quiz, ask your crush out. It seems so stressful in the moment, but four years later, you’ll wake up one day and realize how much you’ve learned. You’ve moved forward, and that’s what counts. Oh, and on your way out, don’t forget to thank your friends, teachers, and coffee carts who have helped you along the way.

Vivian Teo

Try not to skip your meals for work. That math homework isn’t going anywhere! It’s okay to let yourself live and take a break; you don’t need to be productive all the time. Taking time to enjoy yourself also counts as time well spent! Take a nap! Eat a Popeyes chicken sandwich! Hang out with friends!

Nada Hameed

It’s been four years—four years I feel like I can count off on one finger, because I’m not left with the elegance I expected to have four years ago. There are a lot of things I’m not left with. I’m not a genius, famous, or five-footeight. But despite the inches I’m missing, I’m left with so much of the unexpected.

I’ve formed so many new connections that my freshman self would’ve been too shy to handle. I’ve found things that I do not succeed at, that I have to put in the extra step and mile and marathon to do okay in. My bedtime is no longer something I bargain for with my parents—it’s now woefully, miserably late. And I’m happy. The harried news interviews conducted in hallways, the sampling of hot coffees around the school, the 2:00 a.m. copy-editing while snacking on cereal—all of it has contributed to my character arc.

I won’t lie: It’s hard. A juggling act of exams, essays, tutoring, CS homework, and then a social life on top of

that—it’s rough. So I’ll leave you with a bit of advice that I wish I’d adopted as a puny 13-year-old kid walking into the next four years of my life:

It’s only awkward if you make it awkward. Finished your turn-and-talk and are silently sitting? Don’t. Talk about your day. Complain about your math test. Tell them about your obsession with the tall guy across the room.

Try new things. It doesn’t have to be a new school, a new environment, or a new you. Keep the old you, but build on top of it. Don’t be scared to branch out. You’re a young sapling with oh-so-much potential—let Stuy be your gardener (wow, I’m good at this).

Not everything you do defines you. Your grades, your popularity, your leadership positions—don’t take them too seriously, because that’s not all that you are. Make sure that you’re okay, that you’re happy, and that you can handle it. Find your balance.

Sonya Sasson

I wish I could say that I had some sage advice or hard-earned wisdom on how to get through this place in one piece, but there’s no cheat sheet… not really. I guess I’d remind you to lean on friends who will tell you when you’ve had too many cups of coffee and threaten to cut you off from your caffeine sources if you don’t switch to tea. Be grateful to the people, moments, and memories that enrich your life, and be grateful to those who make it harder but you stronger. Make sure to come up for a breath of air once in a while—look around and take in all the beautiful things in this world, just waiting to be appreciated. It may not seem like it now, but you won’t be in high school forever. And maybe, when you’re finally on the other side, you won’t just feel happy because you made it but a little sad too, because such a special part of your life has come to a close.

So, go! Make memories and laugh and cry and grow and persist so that when it’s time to move on, you can say that it was all worth it.

Levi Simon

How does one open a closing comment? Denoting the beginning to an ending is oxymoronic and paradoxical, not to mention futile and depressing. Alas, I must indulge.

In my time writing and editing, I’ve always had trouble with introductions and conclusions. The gooey middle is where I’ve made my home—it makes sense that Arts & Entertainment usually lands smack in the middle of The Spectator. So don’t miss the middle for the conclusion, because the middle is the best part, and it disappears in an instant. What I’m trying to say is, don’t take your dayto-day routine for granted before it’s time to summarize it with your trademark superfluous grandiloquence.

I suppose this comment is the beginning to a much grander end: the end of high school, yes, but the end of my adolescence, too. The end of fresh newspaper stacks in a stand by the scanners. I am bad at endings.

Nicole Liu

Was Stuyvesant worth those bleary-eyed nights and desperate coffee pick-me-ups? Meh, I guess so. I can’t say for certain since I’ve only been half-awake these last four years. So much has muddled into a gross montage of grimy train rides, disappointing weather, harsh red marks on innumerable exams, and the occasional rat sighting. That is not to say that high school was completely nauseating, because underneath all of that suffering was collective suffering—an understanding among the student body that “yes, I too am on my third cup of caffeine today.”

In retrospect, I suppose I‘ve accumulated quite a bit of knowledge from Stuy. I’ve learned the best way to stay awake—blaring Taylor Swift while flailing around in a pattern of movements that some interpret as dancing. I’ve learned that Morgan’s Market is the premier deli for purchasing a BLT, not Terry’s or Ferry’s. And I’ve learned the most important thing you find in high school is your friends: the people you fall to the ground laughing with, the people you steal sips of coffee from, the people who keep you sane, loving you in all of your unhinged glory.

Stuyvesant, my home? Admittedly, I have slept in a fetal position on the floor. That counts for something.

P.S. Special thanks to Spec’s A&E department for enabling my unholy addiction to trash television. You’ve taught me that Netflix comes before homework.

Christina Pan

These days, memories jump out to me at random. Things that immediately come to mind: Inspired by an illustration from this issue: “Different people look like they’re drawn with different pencils,” a Spec editor said.

Apparently I’m drawn with a calligraphy brush. Now try and think of a person drawn in 0.3 lead, 6B pencil, Sharpie, etc…

At the stands, watching a freshman (who else could they be?) try, then fail, to grab a copy of the latest issue from the top stand. They got it eventually.

Sitting on the radiators in Spec class because of over-

population from EITs.

Humphrey-the-Whale-tossing sessions.

Mr. Garfinkel’s iconic flannels.

Kenisha’s Powerball news.

Learning to bike after learning how to drive.

Taking my very first issue of The Spectator off the stands in 2019. Reading Raymond Wu’s “Substitute Enigmas” in the Features section. Feeling indescribably curious and hungry for more.

Editing my last Spectator article in 2023. Reading the words of new and talented writers, and the words of the old and experienced.

This issue, you better read the Features piece on Local Food, then visit the Chambers Street coffee cart and get yourself a large hot coffee and Danish (Mr. Sherzada, my guy).

Whenever you have a college essay to grind, find a song that matches the name of the school. No matter how bad or good the song sounds, it’ll help you grind out of spite or love.

Looking back on these last four years is like looking for vanished time, like looking through a dusty window at the past I can see but never experience again. So, to whoever’s reading: go make memories. Don’t think too much.

Momoca Mairaj

Let’s be honest; we have all thought or will think at least once, “Was it worth coming here?” Well, you are here anyway, and luckily, you have options. Here, you can learn to dance from no experience and make ball-throwing robots. Heck, you can even publish your work in a newspaper!

But the moment you start donning your St:)yvesant merch, losing your ID for the first time, and selling your soul for a roma panini, you will start to see that there’s this mentality that plagues many Stuy students. Don’t fall for it: Don’t ask people what their GPA is. Don’t feel guilty for getting good sleep. It’s more impressive to ask for help when you need it than to struggle alone. If you think something in the school should be changed, think about how to fix it. Ask your friends how they are doing. Phew.

As you pursue your Stuy adventures, drag some friends along with you, or make some along the way, or join your friends’ adventures—probably all three. You can try Model UN with someone and then drop it together (NO SHADE—it just wasn’t for me) or find that trending TikTok place in Chinatown (shu jiao fu zhou), or try out for a SING! crew (my plan next semester). Hopefully, your Stuyvesant dictionary has more words than “cramming” and “college.” I’d like to mention that I coined the term “specsy.”

I’ve had a love-hate relationship with Stuy, but ultimately, I think this is where I belong. These four years will be what you make of them. You have more control than you think and, as always, stay open-minded, empathetic, and daring. Bon voyage!

Maya Nelson

Many among the Editorial Board, and admittedly myself, like to joke that Spec has consumed my entire life. When I first began my tenure as EIC, I was told by the wonderful Karen Zhang that this newspaper was about to become 75 percent of my life at Stuyvesant. Now after a year of constantly delayed articles, caffeine-fueled sending nights, and circular Spec class discussions, I can say that she (and the rest of the Editorial Board) was right.

Spec has consumed my life in the best way possible. When I look back on this past year it’s not the late nights spent editing (though there were many of them) that first materialize in my mind—it’s the laughter-filled Fun Fridays, the actually-productive magazine brainstorm sessions, the sight of the cafeteria filling up during recruitments and of editors, teachers, and freshmen alike seeming to almost be enjoying themselves while reading the paper.

It took me a long time to find my place at Stuyvesant. I joined far too many clubs my freshman year in an attempt to discover that home, and all it did was leave me burnt out and stretched too thin. Halfway through my sophomore year, when the pandemic made each day feel mind-numbingly horrible, I joined the Editorial Board as an Opinions Editor. I knew from the very first Spec class, when I saw myself laughing for the first time in forever at whatever silly icebreaker we were doing, that I had found it. My place. My home.

No matter how long it takes—it might even be now, halfway through your senior year—find that home. It doesn’t have to be at The Spectator, though I can testify that Spec makes a pretty great one. It can be the knitting club, or even that group of kids you sit with during lunch. Stuyvesant is brutal, and the only way you survive is through the connections you make with others. Create something more to remember than failed chemistry tests and sleepless nights. These four years are in your hands.

Taee Chi

I’ve always told my friends that if I could go back in time, I wouldn’t choose Stuy again. But reflecting on my

Senior Closing Comments

past three-and-a-half years here, I don’t know if I really believe that. There’s certainly been a lot to appreciate—so in the spirit of gratitude, here’s a thank you note to everyone who made my Stuy experience special.

Thank you, Ms. Maggio, for failing me on my first ever test here.

Thank you, Mr. Nieves, for believing in me both as a student and a captain.

Thank you, Mr. K, for teaching me that I am utterly incompatible with CS.

Thank you, Ms. Pluchino, for always being so thoughtful and considerate.

Thank you, Mr. Hiller, for helping me appreciate the beauty of math (though your tests are still dumb hard.)

Shoutout KK, AC, and SH for putting up with me all four years.

Shoutout eighth period lunch for the most interesting convos.

Shoutout CP, JH, RP, and AC; you guys mean the world to me.

Shoutout to everyone else I couldn’t fit here. Love you guys, always.

Thank you, Spec. You guys are the most intellectual, passionate, and driven group of people I’ve ever met, and I’m grateful for all the time I spent with you.

Thank you, StuySquad. You guys lifted me out of my lowest point and gave me one of my most cherished memories.

Thank you, Dragons, for teaching me what it means to be a leader. Keep killing it once I’m gone.

Thank you, Stuy, for all your highs and lows. Thank you for all your lessons, your people, your experiences. Thank you for being the best place to be (no matter what I may have told all my friends.) Thank you, Stuy.

Susie McKnight

After seven semesters of attending Stuyvesant High School, a.k.a. seven semesters of hearing “oh, you’re smart-smart” when asked what school I go to, I wish I had more advice to give—proof that I have figured some things out along the way. Unfortunately, I don’t have much to say. I still don’t know how to effectively study for a test, but I do know how to speed read my notes on the escalator. I don’t know how to maintain a healthy sleep schedule or survive without caffeine. I don’t know how to focus for hours on end or get my work done without extensive breaks. I don’t know how to cope when an escalator is broken or when the bells are on some weird schedule. I don’t know how to balance school, soccer, and Spec, but somehow I did. In some ways, I have never stopped feeling like a freshman. In the midst of all this uncertainty, there is one thing I have learned: give yourself a break. The grind never stops, but it can for a few hours.

Isabella Jia

I still remember all those weekends and hours afterschool at the local Asian prep center in eighth grade. Doing SHSAT practice question after question, analyzing overly complex reading passages and not understanding them. I didn’t realize I was reaching towards something that would be so life-changing.

For the first time, I would wake up at 5:00 a.m. every school day and make my own breakfast. I would learn the art of fighting for a subway seat on the 7 train to finish my math homework. And even as the night dawned, I would find myself running home after sports practice or robotics meetings with not a single passerby in sight. This “new normal” was so not normal, yet it was normal at 345 Chambers Street, where I would find pieces of these shared experiences with my peers and newfound friends. Knowing I am not alone in getting four hours of sleep grinding for a calc exam or relying on iced coffee to stay alive, I’ve come to embrace that my high school experience is maybe not so bad. Though I’m making it sound like torture, what keeps me going are my baddie friends who I can spill tea with for hours, the clubs I’ve come to call home, teachers with their relentless support, and the halal cart guy outside Wholefoods who always gives me a free drink.

I may not be in the best position to give advice as I still feel like a freshman inside, but I encourage you to stop cramming for that test or homework and just take a moment to appreciate the entirety of your surroundings. Do something unexpected—a cartwheel in the hallway, catching up with a friend on the escalator, or visiting your secret hideout in the building. Appreciate everything before it’s too late.

Theo Yochum

It might be cheesy but I have always said my favorite part of Stuyvesant is the people. Both students and teachers, the amount of incredibly smart and passionate individuals that make up this school is what makes it so meaningful to me. The vast majority of my classes have been genuinely enjoyable often despite the workload, always due to the valuable interplay of my teacher’s passion and the camaraderie of my peers.

My first close friends at this school were upperclass-

men in STC’s Tech Crew. I loved the work but I really stayed because it was a group I loved to be around, and those after-school meetings really kept me going through the transition to high school. Those connections and relationships and the others I’ve developed since have defined my experience.

Since we’ve returned I’ve found so many more friends and have almost never had a class where I felt alone. I’ve even made friends with people purely because we share a Yo- last name and always sat next to each other. It has really felt like we’ve only had two years of school together and while they have been very important to me and my journey, I can’t help but wish for the rest back. Despite the stress, long nights, and occasional drama there is not an ounce of doubt in my mind for coming here.

To the teachers I’ve had the pleasure of learning from: I genuinely mean it when I say I have never regretted a class. There may have been some long, tiring days where I struggled to pay attention, but I always maintained a strong respect for you, and still do.

To the freshmen and sophomores who have the privilege of experiencing it all: high school is hard, and you may never completely figure it out, but look for those friends, reach out, there is some community out there for you. I really hope you enjoy it.

Kenisha Mahajan

I cried the first time I took a test at Stuyvesant. Tears on my paper. Rushed multiple choice answers. The whole ordeal.

I got a 48 on that test and spent practically every Thursday at AIS after that trying to remedy my terrible AP Biology grade. It didn’t work.

The most important thing I’ve learned at Stuyvesant is that you can’t defer life. As Stuyvesant students, our immediate instinct is to delay things, just to submit a paper in time or or load another extracurricular onto your plate. This pattern spirals to a point where intrinsic motivations morph into resentment—when you’re doing things solely out of obligation or for that acceptance letter to your “dream college.” But the thing we always seem to forget is that these are years we’re never going to get back. So don’t fret about that late assignment. Don’t pull consecutive all-nighters during AP season. Don’t cancel plans to perfect Powerpoint slides for a presentation. See that movie. Have dinner with your family. Stay out late with your friends. Make the occasional dumb decision.

When I think back to my Stuyvesant experience, I don’t remember my failed AP Bio tests, particularly trying classes, or supplemental essays I wrote begrudgingly. I remember going to coffee shops after school, 10-hour SING! coverage, laughing too loud taking the subway back with friends, watching the sun set as I got lost in conversation at City Hall Park, and eating lunch in the writing center.

High school is odd. It’s a bit of a crossroads between adulthood and childhood. You have 17, maybe 18 years under your belt? You’re tiptoeing the line between responsibility and freedom, caught in the constant flurry of change, trying to grasp onto a sense of self. Take advantage of these few years of uncertainty. It’s one of the last times we’ll be young enough to define ourselves, before the world tries to push some cookie-cutter identity on us.

It’s impossible to describe my relationship with this school. But looking back, I wouldn’t trade these last few sleepless, caffeine-driven, exhilarating years for anything else. From the wise words of a Class of ‘22-er, Stuyvesant is a fever dream. So, embrace its craziness, messiness, and chaotic beauty in the few years you have here.

Peter Goswami

It’s a good thing four years at Stuyvesant have dried up my tear ducts because otherwise, I’d be sobbing hysterically at the thought of leaving The Spectator, especially while writing the very comment that seals me to accepting this treacherous fate. Every day, I rise from my bed, dreading the thought of having to go back to school instead of sleeping in, but I console myself with the thought of being able to enter Spec class at the end of each long stretch of classes. I think about how much I would hate missing the chance to sing “happy birthday” to one of my fellow editors, how much I would hate missing hearing every piece of news everyone has to share, how much I would hate missing the out-of-pocket comments, the arguments, the circular discussions, the moments where Maya yells at someone for peeking during a blind vote, the moments where we grieve over the smallest copy or layout error. Spec has given me a family, a voice, a home, a safe space. It’s where I found my best friends. It’s where I feel safe to express my opinions in the loudest and wildest way possible. It’s where I found the courage to write openly about my identity and to use my writing to advocate for the changes I needed to see. It’s been the biggest highlight of my Stuyvesant experience and being an editor will probably be the best job I’ll ever have.

The Spectator has afforded me this great opportunity to learn a new fact from every article I’ve edited, every staff-ed discussion we’ve had, every time someone has

shared a piece of news during newsbeat. Don’t restrict yourself to the idea that learning only comes from one source; expose yourself to different perspectives and humble yourself to the idea that there’s something to learn from everyone. You’re surrounded by a great city so go out and explore. Learning isn’t restricted to the four walls of a classroom, rather it’s about making yourself open to the world and that begins at Stuyvesant where you’re surrounded by talented students of different backgrounds and various clubs where you can start a new skill. At the end, I guarantee you that you might forget a random fact someone shoved down your throat in AP European History, but you’ll remember the first article you wrote, the first dance move you learned, the first STC show you went to, or even a conversation you had with the halal cart guy.

I leave The Spectator humbled by fellow editors who’ve taught me so much and I’ll never forget that every moment of learning I’ve had during my time here has also acted as a moment of bonding. So, my advice to you, is don’t treat grades as a metric of your success but rather learn to accept that learning is valuable in and of itself and there’s no one way to do it. The important thing is that you should enjoy your time here by opening yourself up to the numerous possibilities and making friends along the way, rather than concentrating on having everything figured out.

P.S. Thank you to the Opinions department for giving me the privilege of being part of your work during the past year. I’m so so proud of you all and hope you can continue to kindle the fire of our great department. Also, thank you to my co-editors, Anisha, Gulam, and Ivy. I’ll miss arguing with you during pasteup calls ��

Inara Rabbani

What lies at the end of the road? After seven semesters of sleepless nights and Celsius-fueled school days, I finally know that the answer is nostalgia. As I look back on the past four years of memories—the long conversations with friends on the train, the rush of anticipation just before stepping onto the stage at SING!, the lively chatter of room 615E—I want nothing more than to live it all over again.

In much the same way that the pandemic crept up on the world in my freshman year, the end of my high school years creeps up on me now as an almost-second-termsenior. Your time will come too, so cherish each moment while you still have it. Amid the seemingly endless stress that comes with being a Stuyvesant student, there will undoubtedly be a lot on your mind. Don’t let these preoccupations keep you from savoring the memories you make along the way. Hug your friends a little tighter, laugh a little louder, and worry a little less.

Ultimately, it’s not the grades you get or the accomplishments you rack up that matter, but the experiences you have and the connections you make. Through the best and the worst of times, remember that you’ll only go through this journey once. The community at this school is unlike any other. My time within it has truly been transformative, and I hope yours will be too.

Raymond Yang

Four years is a long time, but it happens to pass by so fast. One day, you’ll be walking out of biology class, the next, you’ll be on the graduation stage. One thing I really regret is not taking enough pictures or videos to capture the memories I’ve made in high school. I’ve explored the city, experienced the most amazing school events, like SING! and StuySquad, and have had the funniest conversations with friends. While living in the moment is amazing, I also wish I could have a tangible recollection of these experiences.

So, my advice to underclassmen is to cherish your time in high school while you still have it, and to make sure that you leave high school with a camera roll of over 5,000 photos. I’m really grateful for everyone that has helped me through my four years, and I hope to spend infinite more years with all the friends I’ve made. It’s hard to say goodbye, but it is also inevitable. So, thank you, and goodbye.

P.S. it’s okay to ditch your responsibilities and have fun sometimes… you won’t regret it.

Sathirtha Mondal

I’ll tell you what—Stuyvesant is great (in its own twisted, extraordinary way.) it’s a shame most of us realize that only toward the end of our high school journey. You’ll meet some of the best people here. You’ll have some of your best moments here. You’ll also have the most important moments here—those filled with sadness, reflections and opportunities to grow and get better in every respect. Cherish the people, and cherish every moment.

Now, as an editor, one of my tasks is to avoid redundancy. So, to avoid being redundant, I’ll close off here. Everything else I could share and any other tidbits of wisdom I could impart can be found upstairs. Enjoy your time here. You know what to do, so do them. You know what not to do, so don’t do them. Have fun and all the best!

Sexism in Soccer: What’s Holding Female Players Back?

By HELEN MANCINI

Soccer doesn’t usually have a huge fan base in the United States, but this year’s performance by the U.S. Men’s National Team (USMNT) at the World Cup excited many American fans. It also teased the possibility of the U.S. men’s team rising in the ranks of international soccer teams. Recent polls have reported a rising interest among Americans in men’s soccer, with more and more young people playing in high school and continuing to love the game as they get older. This increased popularity became obvious after the U.S. vs. Iran match just last month, when Christian Pulisic’s heroic winning goal and resulting pelvic injury flooded social media feeds. The match sent the USMNT to the knockout rounds, where they lost to the Netherlands, but there was still an outpour of support for their achievement in America.

Meanwhile, the U.S. Women’s National Team (USWNT) has been consistently high-performing without achieving the same level of recognition. The women’s team has won four World Cups and four Olympic gold medals in the past 35 years, but the players only gained equal pay from the U.S. Soccer Federation this year after a bill was passed by the House. Soccer teams earn prize money based on how far they get in tournaments. Under the new payment deal, all prize money earned is split equally between the men’s and women’s national teams. This bill has made a huge difference for the women’s

team, because the prize money for their tournaments is remarkably lower. The USWNT earned only $6 million in total for its successive World Cup wins in 2015 and 2019. This year, by just making it to the knockout stages, the

erated by the respective World Cups, a manifestation of both the sexist attitudes and the structures that limit women’s soccer.

Equal pay was a necessary step forward for American soccer, but the International Associ-

shorts” to get more attention on the sport. His comment is just one example of how the international soccer community does not take women seriously as athletes and easily objectifies them. Within FIFA, there are not nearly

World Cup. FIFA was accused of sexism once again in 2019, when many things went wrong at the tournament, namely a ticketing disaster that scattered fans who had bought tickets as groups. While many played it off as a mistake, some fans of women’s soccer found the incident to be another example of how FIFA takes women’s tournaments less seriously, claiming that something so careless would not happen at the Men’s World Cup. It is easy to say that FIFA invests less in the Women’s World Cup because it generates less revenue, but that position ignores how the two are connected. Without investment or active attempts to center women in decision-making, stereotypes about women’s soccer are able to continue in soccer culture, and many stay closed off to watching the Women’s World Cup.

By KIKYO MAKINO-SILLER

Prices plummeted. Investors frantically scrambled to recover their funds. Two months ago, Futures Exchange (FTX) crashed. As a cryptocurrency exchange platform based in the Bahamas, it allowed users to connect their wallets and trade digital currencies that were not available on American platforms. At its peak in 2021, FTX was the third-largest cryptocurrency exchange and hosted over one million users.

However, it was soon revealed that the company had a long history of defrauding investors, resulting in a hole of $8 billion in the company’s finances. FTX filed for bankruptcy almost immediately after this discovery was made public. Amid the chaos, it was also revealed that FTX had been hacked by its management to collect consumer assets. Essentially, the company had stolen from its own customers. Eight lawsuits have been filed against FTX since its bankruptcy.

Consequently, a wave of customers went to withdraw their digital assets, totaling billions of dollars. FTX, bankrupt and having stolen all of its own money, could not support these withdrawals. A halt on withdrawals was enacted; the deposits of many customers are currently unretrievable. Some who transferred large amounts of money into their FTX wallets fear their

USMNT won $13 million. Now that the prize money is being split, the USWNT will get half of that amount, more than they made from winning two World Cups. This remarkable difference in prize money comes from the difference in the revenue gen-

ation Football Federation (FIFA) remains a deeply sexist organization. Not only does FIFA invest much less in women’s soccer, but its leaders have also been blatantly misogynistic. Former president Sepp Blatter once suggested female players “wear tighter

enough women in positions of power to counter sexism in decision-making. Less than one percent of the voting power in FIFA Congress belongs to women.

Furthermore, the Women’s World Cup is treated with much less importance than the Men’s

Crypto: What Next?

life savings are lost forever.

Crypto platforms have crashed in the past. It’s inevitable, given the volatile nature of the currencies. Vauld, for example, hit financial hardships earlier in 2022. Tokens such as Bitcoin have also had a tumultuous history: in June of 2011, Bitcoin lost 99 percent of its value in a

few nerve-wracking days.

However, popular cryptocurrencies have undeniably taken an unprecedented hit following the collapse of FTX. Ethe-

re-evaluating the role of volatile cryptocurrency exchanges in the American economy. In fact, the negative attention the industry has been receiving in the past few months has led The New York Times to describe it as “the worst moment in the industry’s short history.” With so much attention from the media and government, this may very well be true. This suggests that there may be more government regulation in the future, and with many investors being attracted to cryptocurrency due to its lack of governmental involvement, many may pull out.

The USWNT is particularly beloved by its fans, but among some male soccer fans, attitudes toward women playing the sport can be hostile. Arguments about athletic ability are often used as a way to disguise and excuse misogyny and homophobia toward the players on the USWNT. Captain of the USWNT Megan Rapinoe has been the subject of a great deal of hate that often targets her lesbian identity and outspokenness about social justice issues. This treatment is worsened by the fact that despite being a phenomenal athlete, Rapinoe is not respected for her ability nearly as much as the top male players are.

reum and Bitcoin, two of the most popular coins, reached a two-year low as of November. Even more concerning for investors is Congress potentially

FTX’s sudden and shameful demise has many platforms scrambling to prove their reliability. Binance, the world’s largest exchange, announced that it would make efforts to be more transparent about its finances and recruit independent auditors to review them. Subsequently, reports have indicated that while Binance’s funds are not empty like FTX, Binance failed to meet its 1:1 ratio of reserves to customer assets. Thus, in the event of a collapse or a run, some customers will be unable to withdraw their funds (similar to the aftermath of the FTX collapse). Unlike banks, cryptocurrency investments are not FDIC-insured, meaning that investors cannot recover their money from the government in the event of a run. Readers of Binance’s reports have also

been left deeply unsatisfied by the lackluster details. Whether this will change as Binance continues to publish reports is yet to be determined. Moreover, Coinbase, the biggest exchange in America, also announced that it was decentralizing in order to establish more customer control and accountability. With corrupt CEOs such as FTX’s Sam Bankman-Fried—or, as the media has branded him, SBF—this may be a good investment. Whether the effects will materialize or not is yet to be determined.

In the months following, other platforms have been taking more accountability, but the former CEO of FTX himself has been notably imprudent. SBF recently pleaded “not guilty” to fraud and other charges. He was consequently released on a $250 million bond to his parents’ multi-million dollar home in Palo Alto, where he was allowed contact with outsiders and access to social media services such as Twitter. He played video games while conducting media interviews.

SBF needs to be held accountable to set an example for other cryptocurrency platforms in increasing company transparency. Government regulation will likely increase due to intense scrutiny, but change must also come from within cryptocurrency companies in order to impose long-lasting stability. Only then will cryptocurrency recover.

Benjamin (Hyun Bum) Hur / The Spectator

Stefanie Chen / The Spectator

Refuse the Reselling

By SU YEON RYU

The alarm rings at 8:00 a.m. You log into your computer and open Ticketmaster. Mentally preparing yourself, you feel your heart beating as you click refresh over and over again. Finally, the site opens, but you’re not fast enough. The tickets are already taken.

Many people are probably familiar with this experience if they have ever tried to buy something in high demand. Even those without direct experience have probably seen it on the news with the Taylor Swift and Ticketmaster fiasco. While many blame the massive number of Swift fans as the primary reason for the disaster, the problem is really rooted in the prominence of reselling. There was a swarm of bots buying an overwhelming amount of tickets, with the intention to mark them up for profit.

When desperate fans resorted to TicketSwap or Vivid Seats for tickets instead of the relatively affordable tickets that Swift originally contracted for, which cost $49 to $449, they paid up to $30 thousand. This effect makes tickets unafford-

able, and lower and middle-class fans are forced to accept that enjoying a concert with their favorite artist is an inaccessible luxury.

It becomes more problematic when this practice extends beyond leisurely activities like concerts.

to mass purchase highly sought items before they run out. Therefore, people who genuinely want or even need the items can lose to aggressive resellers. As big stores like Goodwill and the Salvation Army cater to resellers who can af-

for cheap and sell them for triple the price they bought them for. Searching up “reselling” on the Internet will promote online guides on how to start a Depop business or articles on how successful reselling can be as a “side hustle.” This

struggling to afford even secondhand items and cannot afford the reselling prices.

By AMARYLLIS SUN

The idea that women should sit still and look pretty is often used to silence women and reduce them to objects of attraction. When women do express their emotions outwardly in strong ways, they’re often labeled as “overdramatic” and “crazy,” a tactic used to invalidate their emotions. However, men have always been permitted to express themselves as passionately as they like, an attribute often seen in the film industry. Meanwhile, the same passion in female characters has been repressed as society limits the emotions of women in both reality and the media.

In the past few decades, male actors have often received notable awards for intense anger performances, deafening screams, violent outbursts, and overflowing tears. Christoph Waltz’s Best Supporting Actor award for Inglourious Basterds, J.K. Simmons’s Best Sup-

Thrifting has exploded in popularity recently, and places like Goodwill and yard sales have lost their original purpose of providing cheap, secondhand items for those who can’t afford them. Instead of helping people buy secondhand to save money and the environment, thrift stores have become an opportunity for profit and thus, a source of competition between resellers

ford to pay more, they raise prices, a recent phenomenon. This change ultimately causes gentrification, and the initially intended audience is pushed out of the market due to a more privileged group of people. Recently, I have seen many social media posts advertising for people to go to yard sales and take advantage of oblivious homeowners to buy highly demanded items

narrow, selfish view of reselling as a business is incredibly unethical. Reselling is not a business. It is simply robbing resources from the needy and purposefully taking advantage of a wealth gap. Everyone deserves to enter a thrift store, whether for necessity, the environment, or even fun. However, entering a thrift store for the purpose of profit is a slap in the face for people who are

It’s Time to Get Angry

In an ideal world, people would have the moral compass to refrain from reselling. This situation is unfortunately not our reality. We need to regulate reselling practices to oppose this harmful practice. For digital businesses like Ticketmaster, increased measures could mean stricter bot verification systems. For physical thrifting stores, this need could mean limiting the number of items someone can buy at once. For example, during quarantine, many stores limited the number of toilet paper rolls a person could buy to prevent panicked hoarding behaviors. This example proves that implementing a standard procedure prevents people from buying absurd amounts of highly demanded material, which allows resources to be distributed more evenly. Very rarely will someone need a cart full of shoes or clothing. By limiting these mass purchases, customers are encouraged to limit their spending to necessities. We must shift our thrifting culture away from capitalizing on underprivileged communities and their support systems.

Cyrus Mahak / The Spectator

porting Actor award for Whiplash, and Heath Ledger’s Best Supporting Actor award for The Dark Knight are all examples of awardwinning male rage performances. Yet when portraying female characters, directors shy away from raging performances, instead opting for silent tears and retreating actions. Performances of female rage should be encouraged in the film industry to combat conservative expectations of how women should behave.

Female rage is the unleashing of all the grievances of women in response to their environment. It is frequently the consequence of patriarchal societies that characterize anger as an unfeminine and undesirable trait. With the growing radicalization of the film industry, movies and shows contain increasing instances of feminine rage to debunk gender expectations. However, it was a long journey before Hollywood reached this standing.

In the history of Hollywood films, male violence has never been as controversial as female violence. This view led to men being typecast as fighting heroes, while women remained as side characters. Even in horror movies, women tend to be the helpless victims, while men are the killers. A publication done by Gloria Cowan and Margaret O’Brien in 1990 found that in 56 slasher films, the slashers were primarily men. In all three movies of the Scream franchise, Sidney, the protagonist, is always the damsel in distress who is rescued by a man at the end of the film. Women rarely act as villains, but when they do, their characters are still developed from misogynistic stereotypes. Research done by Tania Sharmin and Sanyat Sattar in 2018 found that the top motive of female villains was jealousy and vanity, promoting the stereotype that women are constantly envious and selfobsessed. Mean Girls utilizes both of these clichés: Regina and Cady fight with each other over a boy, a scene that highlights the motive of jealousy, and later, Regina erupts in anger after finding out that she cannot fit in her usual size of clothing, characterizing her as vain. Directors purposely made these characters fit society’s misogynistic agenda to gain popularity with the viewers, continuing the toxic cycle of exchanging accurate representation for profit.

In the uncommon instances where female rage is included in films, its portrayal is still undermined. The male gaze sexualizes female rage and molds it into a sight of attraction for male audiences. In Kill Bill, directed by Quentin Tarantino, who is known for his violent movies, the lead character, Beatrix, awakes from a coma to seek revenge on her abusers. She accomplishes her goal of protecting her child, reflecting another societal trope of motherhood. Characterizing women as vengeful is common in Hollywood as a seemingly empowering trope, but it often ends up as misrepresentation, because the trope usually results from the character being a victim of sexual violence. It insinuates that sexual assault is the main reason for female rage, which is obviously a false statement. On Netflix, three prominent Indian

films use the avenging woman trope: Ajji, Garbage, and Tottaa Pataaka Item Maal. All three of these films involve acts of sexual assault against the protagonists, leading them to strive for revenge in violent ways. Though women committing acts of violence equal to men is an improvement in the representation of female characters in the film industry, the reasons for female rage are still stereotyped. Male characters can become rageful for a variety of reasons, so the same logic should be applied to female characters.

With the demand for accurate representation in mind, female characters in recent years are being developed intricately, leading to the diversification of female rage. Female characters are being written with non-stereotypical motives for anger and portray varied forms of anger expression, not just revenge.

Teenage drama shows are a prime example of this unleashing of emotions, as teenagers already experience a rollercoaster of sensations from both high school and puberty. The wildly popular HBO series Euphoria depicts teenagers’ experiences as they navigate adolescence. Euphoria showcases both male rage and female rage uniquely. Nate Jacobs unleashes his built-up rage and sexual insecurity toward his father in an emotional fight scene, and Rue, the protagonist, fights with her mother over Rue’s drug addiction, which has forever altered their mother-daughter relationship. Cassie’s emotional screaming in the bathroom to her friends, Rue’s mother exploding at Rue for her attempts of gaslighting and intimidation, and Kat’s breakdown in her bedroom while her delusions yell at her to love herself are all notable examples of the ways Euphoria portrays anger in its female characters. Having characters that are relatable for the viewers, the majority being teenagers themselves, can subsequently increase a show’s popularity. Euphoria is HBO’s second most watched show since 2004, averaging 16.3 million viewers per episode in season two. Including performances of feminine rage has proven to be beneficial not only in profit, but also in dismantling unrealistic expectations of women, an obser-

vation that the rest of Hollywood should take note of.

Historical biopics are another example of authentic descriptions of emotions, since characters are modeled after real people and their experiences. In the critically acclaimed movie Hidden Figures, Taraji P. Henson does a phenomenal job playing Katherine Johnson, a brilliant NASA African-American mathematician who performed the calculations allowing for the U.S. to launch its first astronaut into space. Throughout the film, Johnson faces constant racial discrimination from her coworkers despite clear success at her job, which builds up her frustration until she bursts into anger in the office and shouts, “I work like a dog, day and night, living off coffee from a pot none of you want to touch!”

Despite the overwhelming bigotry and lack of acknowledgment Johnson encounters every day, she continues to be resilient. Her moment of anger reflects not merely her frustration toward NASA’s unfair system, but also bitterness toward the racist and sexist system that she experiences every day of her life. Johnson’s screams are an eye-opener to her boss, as he later marches to the women’s restroom and knocks down the sign that limits it exclusively to white women.

Hidden Figures embodies empowerment from the start to the end, criticizing government policies in the 20th century while elaborately representing its female roles, all accomplished with the help of female rage performances that illustrate accurate emotions.

Though the concept of female rage is not new, its recent resurgence in the film industry has given the topic more discussion. Directors are becoming increasingly open to accurately depicting all emotional aspects of women, whether good or bad, a step toward the modernization of our community. Female rage has progressed immensely in the last few decades, but there is still room for growth, as with any modern issue. Audiences can help promote films with accurate portrayals and make demands for improvement clear to writers and directors. The stereotype of women being gentle and soft should be left in the past. Women can be raging humans too.

Instead of helping people buy secondhand to save money and the environment, thrift stores have become an opportunity for profit and thus, a source of competition between resellers to mass purchase highly sought items before they run out.

Book Bans: The Conservative War On Education

By DEAN HEVENSTONE

Over the past few years, school districts in 32 states across the U.S. have been banning books with increased rapidity. Over 2,500 books were banned from school curriculums during the 2021-22 school year. Forty-one percent of these books include LGBTQ+ characters. The people behind these bannings are often conservative parents, such as in Moms For Liberty, who go from school board to school board attempting to ban stories and perspectives of minority groups. They often claim that these books contain “sexual content” or “offensive language.”

One of the books recently banned by a school board in Tennessee is Maus, a graphic novel based on an interview with the author’s father, a Polish-Jewish Holocaust survivor. The school board banned the book because it included swear words like “bitch” and depicted a half-naked woman. They also claimed it was unhealthy for young children to be exposed to books featuring violence and murder. However, this book was written to depict the horrific crimes committed during the Holocaust, not to mute them or paint a false picture. As a Jewish individual with family members who experienced the Holocaust, the banning infuriates me. Schools should not elimi-

nate the teaching of disturbing history because it is essential to educate the ignorant and shine a light on real, tragic events people can learn from.

By USHOSHI DAS

Like 7.6 million other high school students, I am on a school sports team. And while 3.2 million girls played on high school sports teams in the 2021-22 school year, a mere 31,654 girls competed in the sport I do: wrestling. This pales in comparison to the 231,874 boys who wrestled last year, making it the sixth most popular male sport. So why do so few girls wrestle?

Most of the time when I tell adults that I wrestle, I am asked, in hushed tones, if I have to wrestle “the boys.” I enjoy responding in the affirmative; Stuyvesant does not have a girls’ team because the school has too many sports teams, and thus, I, along with eight other girls—a big improvement from the three girls that competed last year—wrestle on the boys’ varsity team. Many girls are not inclined to participate for this very reason: this year, there are 39 boys in comparison. In addition to the harmful stigmas around women’s wrestling, such a large gender disparity within teams makes it difficult to recruit girls for the team. I will admit, being the only girl at practice can be tough: most boys are taught from a young age that it is unacceptable to hit a girl, and thus, they “hold back” when wrestling a girl. This makes practice unproductive for both parties. At any rate, being unable to hit a girl is a sexist mindset. Instead, hitting anyone should be considered unacceptable.

Wrestling matches are organized by weight, so wrestling requires one to constantly be conscious of their weight. The weight loss culture, where wrestlers attempt to lose a lot of weight quickly (known as cutting)

Another book that is vital to students’ education is The Hate U Give, a novel by Angie Thomas. It tells the story of a girl named Starr Carter who speaks out against police brutality after her childhood best friend Khalil

is unnecessarily shot by a white police officer. This book is extremely relevant to real-life situations. Since 2015, 5.9 out of every million black people were shot by police, more than twice as many per million compared to any other demographic. The Hate U Give teaches important lessons about activism, speaking out, and the horrifying but real topic of police brutality.

However, it was banned in Katy, Texas, for “inappropriate language.”

I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings, published in 1969

living through trauma and difficulties as a child and has received many awards. Despite all of these valuable lessons, it has been commonly banned for explicit language and its depictions of sexual abuse.

These weak reasons are feeble attempts to cover up the real motives behind banning books: many school district boards, conservative groups, and Republican lawmakers, such as Ron DeSantis, want to avoid teaching the topics of race, gender, inequality, and historical events based on discrimination. DeSantis went so far as to call it “inappropriate” and “not what we want to be injecting in our school system” during a CBS interview, effectively shrouding these topics behind exaggerations. This behavior is cyclical: it starts with schools exposing students to a warped perspective on discrimination and minorities. Students will believe and promote lies about these topics and advocate for banning books in their children’s schools later on.

and written by Maya Angelou, has been banned or challenged 39 times since 1983. The book is an autobiographical work that describes the racism, sexism, and sexual assault that Angelou faced. It educates people about

Wrestling the Standards

in order to be stronger than the average person in their weight category, can be physically draining and harmful. Wrestlers drop to an unsustainable weight by skipping meals, avoiding water, and sweating as much as possible. In high school, my coach (who prohibits us from doing this under any circumstances) would drink honey mixed with water in the days prior to his matches. For teenage girls, who are more prone to body dysmorphia as is, constantly monitoring their weight can be an additional stress. In terms of physique, many girls are also concerned about gaining muscle because being muscular does not align with conventional beauty standards.

I have also been told many times to quit because I would ruin my face or get cauliflower ears (disfigurement of the ears caused by repetitive injury). I have been asked how my mother could possibly approve. I have even been told that wrestling is not a woman’s sport.

I know I am not what comes to mind when people think of high school wrestling, and that is part of the fun. I am five feet three inches tall and quite light. In a sport so well known for using sheer strength to cause injuries, I am often asked if there is even a weight class that can accommodate me.

But wrestling against men proves that women are just as capable of being mentally and physically strong. It may be more difficult to compete against men. After all, they are able to have much more muscle mass than women. However, this idea only perpetuates the sexism around the sport. Once, I overheard a coach slamming his hand against

a wall and yelling at a kid after our match because he “lost to a girl.” Students trying out for the team have laughed that we have a female captain. They have laughed that I, a girl, am part of the starting lineup. Just because I am not

physical sport, you learn to trust that your training partners will take care of you and not injure you. Wrestling has helped me become more productive, too, and the training has helped me stay committed to tasks. There are

With the information that these banned books provide, readers can take in and discuss the knowledge, stories, and experiences of different groups of people. Marginalized groups may be empowered by having

physically as strong as they are. It is true that strength can sometimes win a match, even when you are better. But it is your mindset more than anything else: through the long practices, you learn discipline and determination.

Having a team provide support is also crucial. Wrestling can be both mentally and physically tough, and a team helps a wrestler stay dedicated. Because practices last almost three hours after school every day, teammates develop a special bond. In such a

two main components to practice: drilling and conditioning. Drilling is repetitive and requires patience and focus. Conditioning, especially running up and down stairs, prepares you for a match by teaching you to push through both physical and mental hurdles.

But while many adults seem to disapprove of co-ed wrestling, for the most part, there seems to be genuine respect for the sport from all my peers. This indicates a shift in the perception of women in wrestling, as well as other tradi-

tionally male sports.

In addition to wrestling, I do judo outside of school. Somehow, adults seem to approve more of this because it can be justified that it is self-defense and everyone should learn self-defense. I do not disagree with this—I also believe learning self-defense is crucial—but it seems illogical that boys should be allowed to participate in combat sports for fun while girls cannot. Why are adults impressed when I tell them I do judo yet horrified when I add that I wrestle? They are both combat sports, and while I find judo to be more elegant, they are equally exciting to watch. To me, both sports are equally good at teaching self-defense: they require you to protect your body while adjusting to a more advantageous position.

While wrestling is one of the oldest sports in the world, women’s wrestling was only added to the Olympics in 2004. Even though women’s wrestling is becoming more popular, it is still largely unavailable on the college level. In November 2020, the head coach of Columbia University’s wrestling team wrote a letter explaining that Columbia was hoping to be “the first Ivy League school to sponsor women’s wrestling at the Division I level.” Not only does this help break the stigma that wrestling isn’t for academics, but it is also a great step toward improving perceptions of women’s abilities in sports. Women’s wrestling is currently only a club sport at most U.S. colleges, and an increase in the number of women’s teams at the high school level would allow many more women to consider serious wrestling opportunities.

Iris Lin / The Spectator

Natalie Soler / The Spectator

Manipulating the Public Mind

By ELIZABETH KOLBASKO

Manipulation ranges from simple gaslighting techniques to full-blown mental distortion. Social media has allowed the manipulative tactics of influencers who want to spread harmful views to be more effective. It’s built for falling into manipulative traps, as users are exposed to a strong popularity bias in which AI algorithms maximize engagement through a person’s feed. These algorithms are based on the assumption that recommending what is popular will help high-quality content get exposure, which is false.

A study on how algorithmic popularity bias hinders quality found that once the popularity of a low-quality item is large enough, it will keep getting amplified. Government Executive states that information is transmitted via complex contagion, meaning the more times someone is exposed to an idea online, the more likely they are to adopt and reshare it. These processes make it almost impossible to navigate social media without encountering manipulation.

The most relevant example of successful manipulation is Andrew Tate, an infamous “alpha male” and social media content creator. Tate has spread his sexism to millions across almost every platform imaginable because he knows exactly how to control the audience. The Internet personality rose to fame after his supporters flooded social media with various clips and edits of his rants on various topics, including sexist messages, some of which perpetuate rape culture. Tate’s outrageous claims range from calling women bad drivers to advising women to “shut the [EXPLETIVE] up, have kids, sit at home, be

quiet, [and] make coffee,” ageold stereotypes repackaged for a new generation. Though his hateful messages aren’t illegal, Tate allegedly trafficked women he coerced to work for his adult webcam site. Tate’s wealth is based on exploitation, and his messages directly contribute to the abuse of women.

The overwhelming number of Tate’s supporters who are spitting out the same misogynistic rhetoric is a testament to his ability to influence the masses. Streamer Adin Ross has essentially become a prophet of Tate, agreeing with anything the “Top G” says and spreading more harmful rhetoric about women. The generalizations, such as claiming women cannot drive as well as men, add fuel to the fire of baseless stereotypes. Sneako, a streamer whose YouTube channel was removed for multiple violations of community guidelines, produced the same type of sexist content for his fans. The hive mind that such influencers have created ironically promotes breaking out of society’s shackles by refusing to abide by society’s “censorship of masculine men,” yet their messages are stereotypes perpetuated by the patriarchy since the beginning of time. Before he got banned, Sneako had almost 1.3 million subscribers on YouTube. Ross is the seventh most subscribed to streamer on Twitch, with 43 thousand active subscribers, while Tate has amassed 4.5 million followers on Twitter. Though all three have been subject to ridicule and mass opposition, their reach is shown in their loyal followers who defend them and their disgusting views to the end.

The demographic of these content creators is overwhelmingly male, especially those who

are demonizing the changing definition of masculinity in the 21st century. In the eyes of an “alpha male,” a man should be dominant, even at the expense of others—namely, women. Tate and his followers portray

by manipulating emotions. This manipulation tactic, commonly used by political leaders, primes the audience to feel outraged at an entire movement, creating one common enemy. For example, former President

tity in manipulation, claiming that a leader will pick identities to enhance self- esteem, create community, increase a sense of status and power, and allow us to feel good about ourselves. In this case, “traditional masculinity” is put upon a pedestal, ignoring many of the problems that it creates for women, such as abuse and the wage gap.

An algorithm based on popularity feeds social media users a constant stream of content that may satisfy them. However, this property establishes a precedent of lower quality, enabling harmful content to arise. Though social media companies did their part by banning Tate from Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, and YouTube, the change came too late. His impact on social media had already been felt, and his followers have only continued to influence other ignorant consumers. The responsibility ultimately falls on the company to keep its users safe and protect the online community.

the increasing societal acceptance of the LGBTQ+ community and the fluidity of gender expression as an attack on “alpha males.” By blaming an entire group of people for large-scale problems with various underlying factors, the manipulators choose an easy target. This strategy is an example of creating an in-group and out-group

Sexism in Soccer: What’s Holding Female Players Back?

The nature of the extreme and personal scrutiny Rapinoe faces is reflective of how women are subjected to disproportionate amounts of criticism in society, especially in the media.

When discussing the World Cup with my male friends and family this winter, I expressed annoyance over how the Men’s World Cup is prioritized so much more than the Women’s World Cup. They immediately began to spew reasons why women’s soccer would always be worse, claiming that it is watched less because it is of lower quality. The favorite empirical example of this argument seems to be the story of the under-15 (U15) boys’ team in Texas beating the women’s national team in 2017. Not only is this example overused, but it is also entirely misrepresented. The game in question was a scrimmage, not a match, designed to help the FC Dallas boys’ team improve. U15 boys’ teams often participate in the U.S. Soccer Federation “Development Academy” programs. The USWNT is committed to helping all U.S. soccer teams improve in the federation, and these types of scrimmages are normal because the women’s team has so few teams at their level to practice against in the U.S. The loss was not seen at all as

humiliating for the USWNT until it began circulating on the Internet and misogynistic social media circles. It became an easy headline for people who already held sexist beliefs about women’s soccer to latch onto. After the USWNT 2019 win, many were quick to bring up the loss to “humble” the women.

Women’s and men’s soccer are the same. Their games have the same rules and the same times, yet our culture and FIFA refuse to treat them equally. This disparity needs to change on a systemic level with FIFA and by instituting equal pay in other countries, but it also needs to be addressed on a social and interpersonal level. Biological differences between men and women do not change the fact that both World Cups are full of incredible athletes playing soccer at its highest level. It is imperative that we realize that there is no logical basis for liking men’s soccer over women’s and that insulting women’s athletic ability with out-of-context evidence and sexist generalizations can no longer be acceptable. At the very least, I implore those who have been closed off from watching women’s soccer to try watching this summer’s World Cup. American sports culture is changing rapidly through the leadership of pioneering women like the players on the USWNT, and it is time for everyone to pay attention.

Donald Trump has a history of misogynistic comments aimed at women of power. He used stereotypes and insults to put down his presidential opponent Hillary Clinton and denied the validity of the #MeToo movement, claiming that young men were in danger. Brown University Professor Rose McDermott stresses the importance of iden-

Unfortunately, after Elon Musk’s takeover of Twitter, Tate was unbanned, providing him an outlet to instill centuries-old stereotypes veiled under the encouragement of selfimprovement and an “alpha male” mindset. The concept of Tate or any social media user being protected by free speech is flawed, as anyone as harmful as he is to the community should immediately be investigated and removed from the platform. Minimizing the effects of manipulation is not an impossible task. However, there is a point at which it becomes censorship. Ultimately, the current guidelines that social media companies have are adequate, but action taken against those who break them is not quick enough or does not happen at all.

Book Bans: The Conservative War On Education

from page 11

their own stories portrayed to readers and the general public. This can be important for the development of critical thinking and empathy. On the other hand, a single story is a specific idea or belief promoted by someone, without any other sources portraying other points of view. Single stories are dangerous because they can enforce biased beliefs, which create assumptions and prejudices.

The banning of books may not seem to be a major issue facing New York City, as the majority of these bans occur in conservative midwestern and southern states, with the most occurring in Texas. But this denial and rejection of the beliefs and stories of marginalized groups affects the entirety of the United States. As the knowledge and empathy gaps in students widen as a result of book bans, a specific ultra-conservative social and political ideology is created.

The groups behind book bannings often argue that the messages the books convey, such as the ideas of gender fluidity and sexual orientation, are toxic or unethical. But it is important for all students to learn about these topics because these ideas help children discover their own identity, separate from the one par-

ents try to force on them. Children cannot be closely watched and shadowed by their parents as adults, so it is important for them to discover who they are and how to accept different communities.

Conservative groups also argue that violence featured in some books may trigger or traumatize their children. However, it is vital for students to learn about all history, no matter how violent or unfortunate it was. Learning about violent history can raise awareness about the people affected and teach students to learn from what happened so that dangerous ideas do not repeat themselves. This is far more important than preventing your child from being saddened by violence.

As students in New York City, we must take action against the banning of books. Students should go out of their way to find and read banned books, whether through the school library, public libraries, or a local bookstore. In the classroom, students must learn about the important perspectives and issues that these books reflect.

Supporters of book bans believe they are “saving the children,” but in reality, they are neglecting their children’s education. We must put an end to the discriminatory and detrimental practice of banning books.

By SADAT AHMED

Do you excrete waste?

Hopefully, your answer is yes. Human feces may be considered “gross” or “disgusting,” but it turns out that it is actually a tool in the field of epidemiology, or the study of health and disease. The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has approved Rebyota, a new treatment that uses the bacteria in human fecal matter. This scientific milestone treats Clostridioides difficile infection (CDI), a devastating bacterial infection that causes inflammation of the colon (the longest part of the large intestine).

With about half a million cases and 15,000-30,000 deaths in the U.S. per year, CDI has destructive effects on humans. The bacteria C. difficile spreads through contaminated surfaces and then multiplies in the gut microbiome. From there, it can release toxins, triggering diarrhea, fever, inflammation of the colon (colitis), abdominal pain, and in many cases, organ failure or

Human Feces Crossing A Milestone

death. Additionally, one in six patients redevelops the infection within two weeks to two months of recovery. This is known as recurrent infections.

Prior to Rebyota, CDI was treated with antibiotics. However, certain antibiotics could worsen conditions and disrupt the balance of the gut microbiome when dealing with CDI. By the same token, the heavily antibiotic-resistant strains of C. difficile may be able to overcome the antibiotic treatments and persist. When this response becomes apparent, the use of these antibiotics is put to an end, and patients usually instead get treated with oral vancomycin or fidaxomicin, which are macrolide antibiotics that kill bacteria related to CDI. CDI should then resolve within two to three days.

Even then, there is only a 20 percent success rate and the possibility of re-infection. To make matters worse, there aren’t many FDA-approved treatments for this infection either. Fortunately, scientists have discovered the fecal microbiota product Rebyota.

Rebyota contains bacteria collected from the fecal matter of healthy, qualified human donors, and works to prevent CDI. Not only is Rebyota a solution to the issue of recurrent infections, but its approval marks a significant achievement in history since it is made

substance with no real pharmacological effect. Because there was an absence of diarrhea caused by CDI within eight weeks of the experiment, the treatment was declared successful. The results showed that a single dose of Rebyota performed better than the

possibility for Rebyota to contain food allergens even though the FDA is unsure if Rebyota can cause allergic reactions. Furthermore, clinical trials were not conducted on people below the age of 18 or over the age of 65, so these individuals should avoid the treatment as well. In addition, common side effects include stomach pain, diarrhea, bloating, and nausea. This may sound like a long list of drawbacks, but Rebyota is able to do what previous CDI treatments were unable to: prevent recurrent infections.

from human fecal matter. Rebyota is a single-dose 150 mL suspension of bacteria administered through the rectum. The FDA approved a specific clinical program where fecal matter was tested for transmissible pathogens and allergens. If the tests did not detect any, it would then enter the clinical trials. In the clinical trials, participants with a history of CDI infection were treated with either Rebyota or a placebo, which was a harmless

placebo and that 90 percent of the 70.46 percent of participants treated with Rebyota who did not get CDI diarrhea remained free of the infection for the following six months, proving that it helps fight recurring infections.

However, it is important to note Rebyota’s limitations. Rebyota should not be administered to those with histories of severe allergic reactions. Though donors are screened for pathogens, there still lies a

Unlocking the Secrets of GPT3:

An In-Depth Look

By JONATHAN YAP

Have you ever wanted a supercomputer that could code, give medical advice, and help you study for tests? We have one in our hands, and its name is GPT-3. Its creator, OpenAI, a company co-founded by Elon Musk in 2015, has been making headlines for advancing artificial intelligence. Gaining worldwide fame in 2020, many of OpenAI’s artificial intelligence (AI) innovations, like DALL·E 2, have skills that millions are certain will change the world. Yet, the most famous and advanced OpenAI invention is GPT-3. Its sister app, ChatGPT, has gained one million users in a record-breaking five days. However, one must ask themself: how exactly does this AI work?

GPT-3, or Generative Pretrained Transformer 3, is the world's largest neural network with 175 billion parameters. The parameters are mostly from Common Crawl, a nonprofit organization that crawls the web and puts information into a database. GPT-3 is mainly used to generate text for summarization and question answering, with some calling it a “Google killer.” But as the name implies, GPT-3 is not the first AI released by OpenAI. In fact, to find out how GPT-3 works, we must first take a look at its predecessors.

Before GPT existed, there was Natural Language Processing (NLP). The goal of NLP was to allow people to use common languages to converse with a machine, which was further advanced by GPT1. Released in 2018, the first model was trained on eight

million websites and had 1.5 billion parameters. It used a “transformer model,” which made some words matter more than others and allowed people to give it random text. For example, if a user was to ask the program for a weight loss plan and provided their weight and favorite color, the program would prioritize the information about their weight. GPT-1 also used “unsupervised learning,” a type of training in which the AI has to find patterns between words using given data. The release of GPT-2 in 2019 took it a step further. With 15 billion parameters, it used "dy-

at How It Works

shirt, it would know that such information is irrelevant to the user’s request for instructions.

The latest model, GPT3, was released in 2020 and changed the AI scene completely. Aside from being the largest AI model released, it uses a creation of OpenAI called “dynamic batching.” That allows the AI to split up words into different batches for efficient processing, as word input varies.

Though GPT-3 is remarkably advanced, ChatGPT, OpenAI’s newest AI, surpasses it. ChatGPT is smaller than GPT3 and uses a new technique

ing process significantly. With 175 billion parameters and the large size of GPT-3, imagine how powerful ChatGPT could be.

Despite their advanced technology, GPT-3 and ChatGPT have their restrictions. For one, OpenAI has prevented both AIs from advising on how to make weapons. However, it can be bypassed quite easily, as many people were easily able to do so by tricking the AIs. They would tell ChatGPT to write a script between someone teaching a dog how to make a gun and thus bypass the limit. While the AIs seem to be extremely intelligent, ChatGPT fares poorly on the SAT. It scored 1020 out of 1600, failing to beat the national average of 1060 and Stuyvesant’s average score of 1510. Lastly, OpenAI’s AIs are unable to provide good information on niche topics. For example, when I asked ChatGPT to give me a summary of an ancient Chinese warlord named Cao Cao, it outputted many errors.

Rebyota being able to combat recurrent infections is a great step in the right direction of lessening the impact of CDI. Now, we can not only treat recurrent CDI infections, but we understand the gut microbiome better than ever before. There are countless diseases that we lack knowledge about, restraining us from treating them. However, with this newfound knowledge, we can further study many of these diseases and combat them, creating lasting impacts in the field of epidemiology.

namic control," which allowed the AI to decide which information given was important to its response. If a user asked for instructions on how to make a necklace and then mentioned that they were wearing a blue

called Reinforcement Learning from Human Feedback (RLHF). RLHF is an efficient form of unsupervised learning. When it is training, it receives a digital reward or punishment, which helps quicken the train-

Despite being the largest neural network in the world, GPT-3 has the potential to be even bigger. With rumors of GPT-4 being released within the next year, it will certainly be interesting to see what new capabilities it will have. GPT-4 is rumored to release 500 trillion parameters, which is more than GPT-3’s 175 billion. This would allow GPT-4 to generate even better text, and do more tasks that require specific knowledge, like giving medical or law advice.

While we wait for GPT-4, there are things that we as users can do to enhance GPT-3, such as fine-tuning GPT-3 for spe-

cific tasks. Fine-tuning is when you add more information to GPT-3, specifically about a certain topic or area. This allows the AI to be an expert in a particular area, while still having general knowledge about everything else. For example, you could add a large amount of historical information to GPT3 and train it to respond like a historian. Or you could add a large amount of information on food to GPT-3 and use it to find new healthy recipes.

However, if fine-tuning is too complex for you, there is another way to make GPT3 respond the way you want. A process known as “prompt engineering” allows you to specify how you want the AI to respond. Instead of adding information to GPT-3, you give GPT-3 instructions on how you want it to respond. If you want GPT-3 to respond to you like it is in an anime rom-com, tell it to act like a character in an anime rom-com. Alternatively, if you want GPT-3 to respond like a teacher grading your essay, you can tell it to act like a harsh English teacher that gives great feedback.

GPT-3 is the most advanced neural network, and OpenAI has advanced the AI industry tenfold with new innovative ways to train its AIs. It is already changing the world, with NYC schools banning ChatGPT on school wifi. However, OpenAI can always create better AIs, either by making them bigger or by making them learn more efficiently. However, with how AI has been advancing, it would not be surprising if one day, GPT becomes the backbone of trillion-dollar companies.

Now, we can not only treat recurrent CDI infections, but we understand the gut microbiome better than ever before.

Vanessa Huang / The Spectator

The Rise of Plant-Based Meats

By VINSON CHEN

You walk into your favorite fast food chain and see a sign advertising their new plantbased meat item. You try it out and are pleasantly surprised. Well, you are not alone! This is an experience that is becoming more and more common. Burger King’s Impossible Whopper, Panda Express’s Beyond Orange Chicken, and Chipotle’s plantbased chorizo are all examples of plant-based meat taking the fast food scene by storm. In recent years, these fast food chains have been pressured to explore plant-based alternatives to meat as the public has become more aware of the environmental consequences of our demand for meat. This demand has led to the rise of factory farming, a method of animal farming that maximizes profit and has severe environmental and ethical consequences.

Factory farming has faced scrutiny for its inhumane practices, with many animal rights activists claiming that factory farming is a form of animal cruelty. To maximize their gains, factory farms often pack large numbers of livestock into tight spaces. In some cases, they feed their livestock food containing animal carcasses, wastes such as feces, and growth hormones. Livestock are also fed more grain than is recommended by the government to reduce the amount of time required until slaughter.

In addition, the conditions on factory farms make it easier for animal diseases to spread among livestock. For example, cryptosporidiosis is a disease spread by ingesting feces from an infected individual. Cramped conditions and animal feed that often contains feces greatly increase the risk of mass infection on a factory farm. These

dangers extend to humans, increasing the meat’s potential to spread diseases, such as E. coli or swine flu.

stock coexisting in highly concentrated areas produces lots of waste. According to the U.S. Department of Agriculture, factory

land, and less water, as the crops being grown are directly used in the final product. According to the United Nations Environment Assembly, plant-based burgers require 75 to 99 percent less water than traditional beef burgers. Moreover, plant-based meats contribute significantly less to greenhouse gas emissions when compared to actual meat. Depending on the type of meat, plant-based meats produce anywhere between 30 to 90 percent less greenhouse gas emissions than traditional meat production. This is especially prevalent with plantbased beef products. With the effects of factory farming becoming an increasingly larger problem, a greater effort to produce and eat plant-based meats has emerged, leading to huge commercial success. The plant-based meat market is expected to grow 15 percent annually between 2022 and 2028, with a predicted value of $15.8 billion by 2028. Notable companies include Beyond Meat, which is currently valued at nearly $900 million, and Impossible Foods, currently valued

to help mimic meat. These substitutes make plant-based meats just as healthy—if not more— than actual meat. Reviews of various plant-based meat products, including Beyond Meat burgers and Impossible burgers, generally agree that they are very similar to meat in terms of taste and texture. The recent rise of plant-based meat has overshadowed traditional veggie burgers that often either have a mushier or chunkier texture than plantbased meats, depending on how ground up the vegetables are. Traditional veggie burgers also do not try to mimic meat, so their taste and nutritional value are very different compared to plant-based meats and traditional meats.

However, many people have yet to embrace plant-based meats. One of the main reasons is that plant-based meats currently cost more than actual meats. For instance, the Impossible burger costs around $6.80 per pound while traditional low-fat, non-organic beef costs around $4 per pound. However, this is changing because more plant-based meat factories are being built as demand increases. Some plant-based meats are even projected to be equal in price to their counterparts as early as 2024.

livestock and fertilizers plays a role in greenhouse gas emissions. Large numbers of live-

amount of crops. On the other hand, producing plant-based meat requires fewer crops, less

Companies that produce plant-based meats try to find a combination of plants that can substitute the taste, texture, and nutritional value of actual meat. They accomplish this mimicry through countless trials and extensive research to find the most meat-like combination of plants. For instance, many plant-based meat companies utilize protein from beans and fat from vegetable oils like coconut butter

Decreasing prices and introducing plant-based meat to the fast food scene are making plant-based meats a much more accessible option to the public. Plant-based meats also provides a way for people to go vegetarian or vegan without losing their love for meat. This makes the transition to vegetarianism or veganism easier and more appealing. As factory farming becomes an increasingly controversial issue, many of us will soon face the decision between eating plant-based meats or its conventional counterpart.

Fusion For the First Time: Harnessing the Energy of Stars

By JEFFERY ZHANG

Every day, the Sun’s immense heat warms our planet and provides the energy needed for life to exist on Earth. This heat comes from the Sun’s core, where extreme temperatures and pressure cause atoms to fuse and release energy. What if humans could recreate this process? How would it look? Perhaps something like this: 192 laser beams bombarding a fuel capsule the size of a pencil eraser. For a few billionths of a second, the temperature surpasses three million degrees Celsius, creating the same fusion process found in the cores of stars. At the National Ignition Facility (NIF), scientists have done just that, bringing humanity one step closer to harnessing fusion energy.

The basis of nuclear fusion is that atomic nuclei hold enormous amounts of energy. When atoms fuse, they release a fraction of their nuclear potential energy as heat. The generation of this energy does not emit carbon dioxide or highly radioactive wastes the way that the combustion of fos-

sil fuels and the generation of energy through nuclear fission power plants do. However, the atoms must overcome the overwhelming repellant forces between their nuclei to begin fusing. That is, they must pass the bounds of the strong nuclear force. While the cores of stars like the Sun are naturally subject to high pressures and temperatures that facilitate the fusion process, it is significantly more difficult to recreate these conditions on Earth. At Earth’s standard air pressure, fusion would require temperatures of at least 100 million degrees Celsius, seven times the temperature of the Sun’s core.

Despite this, the United States Department of Energy announced on December 13, 2022, that the NIF had completed its first controlled experiment to reach fusion ignition. In other words, for the first time, a fusion reaction produced more energy than inputted. The fuel mixture absorbed 2.05 megajoules of energy to release 3.15 megajoules. This incredible milestone represents an energy gain factor of over 1.5, mean-

ing the reaction produced 50 percent more energy than the input. The NIF’s previous record was 1.3 megajoules.

The NIF is an inertial confinement system, which rapidly compresses hydrogen fuel to produce a quick but powerful burst of energy rather than a prolonged reaction. It is, in essence, an explosion; the most destructive weapon humans have developed, the Tsar Bomba, utilizes the same principle. The NIF consists of a massive laser system the size of a sports stadium and a central reaction chamber known as the “hohlraum.” The fusion fuel cell, a carefully engineered diamond capsule inside a gold canister, sits at the center of the hohlraum. The capsule is less than a centimeter wide, and about 10 milligrams of hydrogen fuel are frozen inside it.

Initially, the system creates a single infrared laser beam. The massive laser system multiplies and amplifies this original beam into 192 highpowered beams of ultraviolet light. These laser beams are directed to the central chamber and collide simultaneously

with the canister. Their energy heats the can to over three million degrees Celsius, causing it to emit high-energy Xrays. These X-rays penetrate and vaporize the inner diamond layer, generating massive pressure on the hydrogen atoms. The combined pressure and temperature are enough to force the atoms to fuse. Nanoseconds later, the pressure dissipates, and the fusion ends. The entire process completes in less than a second.

For the first time, the initial energy input sustained a fusion reaction that could provide its own energy. Scientists successfully generated a net energy gain with fusion reactions, which no other experiment had succeeded with before. Now that scientists know how to achieve fusion ignition, they can continue to repeat it and study its mechanics. The collective work of engineers and scientists over many decades has led up to this moment, and this experiment is a breakthrough point in the development of fusion reactors.

But even with the phenomenal bounds made by this

breakthrough, there are a few caveats. For one, the NIF experiment does not represent a viable way to generate energy. Though the reaction produced three megajoules of energy, the system used 322 megajoules of electricity altogether. As noted before, the NIF’s system only creates a burst of energy, which is not sustainable for generating electricity. Though laser systems are not likely to be used in future fusion facilities, the NIF experiment has brought humans closer to harnessing its power than ever before.

Human recreation of the abundant clean energy of stars would have substantial implications. Fusion energy uses readily available hydrogen fuel, does not produce dangerous byproducts, and does not lead to runaway meltdowns. This clean, powerful source of energy can end humanity’s dependence on fossil fuels to power every appliance, heating system, or factory in the world. It’s not hard to imagine that, in a few decades, the same process that powers the Sun may just power everything in your life.

Reya Miller / The Spectator

By MICHELLE NG

Tap tap tap. The urge to tap your feet to the rhythm while doing homework and listening to Spotify’s Today’s Top Hits is not going away. As Stuyvesant students who have so much on our plates, how and why do we make time for listening to music? It is not as simple as just enjoying your favorite tunes—rather, the reason involves the hormones in your brain.

Within our brains, thousands of neurotransmitters work together to carry chemical signals from one neuron to the next. One of these workers is dopamine, which controls the brain’s pleasure and reward center and helps us distinguish between what we find interesting or boring. When we really like something, it is because dopamine is being released, spreading along four dopaminergic pathways in the brain. The nervous system uses this hormone to send messages between nerve cells and the rest of the body, acting as a chemical messenger to indicate enjoyment.

In a study done at McGill University in 2011, dopamine levels increased when subjects anticipated certain parts of their favorite tunes. When listening to specific parts of the song, endogenous dopamine release in the striatum was at its apex, a sign of peak pleasure in the body. Nevertheless, some activities that stimulate dopamine releases can become addictive because the brain can become reliant on that dopamine surge; this occurs in cases of substance abuse. For example, when people consistently drink too much coffee, disrupting that routine leads to plummeting dopamine levels, bringing out negative emotions since the

Why Is Music So Addictive?

brain and body have grown to depend on caffeine and the reaction it evokes.

Another reason why we instinctively open our music apps is because music affects our mood.

Listening to music is a common coping mechanism when stress overwhelms the body. Playing your favorite song can feel like

brain known as prolactin plays a role in why people turn to music for comfort. In response to tears and negative emotions including grief and depression, prolactin is released by the endocrine neurons in the brain. According to David Huron, a professor at the Ohio State University who specializes in the psychology of

sical styles makes it possible for anyone to find at least one song or artist that they enjoy listening to. For those who listen to a variety of genres, it never gets boring since there are so many different options to explore.

Kelly Jakubowski, a music psychologist at Durham University in England, conducted a study in 2017 proving that 90 percent of people experience involuntary musical imagery (INMI) at least once a week. INMI is often referred to as an “earworm,” or a song that gets stuck in one’s head involuntarily. Because of the countless genre-spanning songs being released every week, there is always something new to listen to. Often, many of these songs share common characteristics in pitch patterns and upbeat tempos. Jakubowski mentions how many artists use this data to predict which songs will gain popularity and try to produce songs that align with those qualities.

SCIENCEBEAT

The James Webb Space Telescope spotted three “Green Pea” galaxies, which undergo extreme rates of star formation and date back to 13.1 billion years ago—the very beginning of our universe.

The Food and Drug Administration eliminated the requirement to test drugs on animals before entering human trials.

NASA began designing the successor to the James Webb Space Telescope, the Habitable Worlds Observatory, to look for signs of life in exoplanets.

By GARY JIANG

It is the middle of the pandemic, and you are up bingewatching movies. Scrolling down the list, you look at what is popular. However, you soon make an interesting revelation: it is all horror! You wonder why anyone would want to watch such stressful, scary films. Is the pandemic not worrying enough? Though the horror genre’s foundations seem to go against the natural instinct to seek safety, digging deeper reveals the psychological and biological reasons for its success.

When a person watches a horror film, their body responds as if it were responding to a real threat. Though nothing on the screen is real, being scared triggers the fight-or-flight response. These impulses are processed by the amygdala, which is the part of the brain that detects fear. The effects of this change can make horror movies more exciting, despite the fact that they trigger a response to danger. During such a response, a slew of chemicals is released, including dopamine and endorphins. In particular, adrenaline is the driving force behind this phenomenon, increasing alertness, attentiveness, and cognitive performance. These chemicals provide a pleasing effect that ultimately suppresses stress and pain by triggering opioid receptors. The receptors then carry that signal

an escape from reality, as it can either change or escalate your mood by triggering biochemical stress reducers in your brain.

Songs with tempos and dynamics that match your feelings can be extremely validating, whether you listen to energizing music to boost your mood or sad music that resonates with you. In trying times, another hormone in the

music and music cognition, the release of prolactin as a result of listening to sad music serves to provide comfort to combat the mental pain one may be experiencing. This explains why listening to break-up songs after experiencing something similar can make people feel more at ease and less alone.

The infinite amount of mu-

Similar to social media, music is all around us. Platforms such as TikTok are famous for their viral and catchy songs, with approximately 430 songs surpassing one billion video views in 2021. Constant exposure to these trends hooks us in, especially because they are shown to viewers in appealing ways, like association with dances. It makes it easy to get distracted, taking people away from the work at hand. Especially with demanding tasks that require more brainpower, having music of any kind contributes to overstimulating mental resources and overwhelming the mind. This same disconnect is experienced by teenagers today, as many are attached to their devices and have their headphones in, discouraging further social interaction. Many experts link data that shows that one in

Horror Movies: More Than Just Scary

throughout the body, leading to overall excitement while watching horror.

Psychologically, horror may actually align with human nature. Humans have an inherent instinct to seek stability and safety. The contrast between watching a horror film unfold on screen and the cozy environment of your living room can amplify a sense of protection from danger. Not to mention that your brain actually subconsciously knows that you are safe from the monsters behind the screen, even if you are still afraid.

In addition, horror movies may incite confidence and a feeling of accomplishment in viewers. When your body starts to calm down after being startled, your brain feels that it should be rewarded for enduring such a scare. This is mainly enabled by dopamine, which acts as a neurotransmitter reward, but the excitation transfer theory may also play a role in this. This theory mentions that people tend to stay excited even after a horror movie is over, intensifying the feelings of relief and confidence caused by dopamine. Horror also provides mental stimulation in the form of a new experience, as facing frightening realities is not a regular occurrence for most people.

Additionally, horror better equips viewers to handle danger, or at least makes them think they can. Continuous exposure to dopamine and endorphins

can increase one’s tolerance for fear, training the body to endure frights better in the future. This is because receiving the dopamine release after the excitement of watching a horror movie causes

Interestingly, horror movies peaked in popularity during the pandemic, a time associated with anxiety and stress. In fact, horror reached its highest box share in history in 2020, a trend

five teenagers today experience some form of hearing loss due to a surge in the use of headphones within this age group. This rate is approximately 30 percent higher than it was twenty years ago because of the increased social media use that naturally comes with music.

It has been made so easy for us to listen to music almost everywhere we go, and it is impossible to imagine contemporary society without this everyday convenience. Music is everywhere, so how can we even cut back on how much we listen?

One can start by identifying the parts of their daily routine where they do not need music, such as during class lectures or family dinners. Though music has been proven to have numerous positive long-term effects on emotional and mental health, seeking a balance between listening to music and daily life is best for overall health.

something within their control that can be stopped with a click of the remote helps people cope with stressful situations, since it is much harder to deal with real “horrors,” such as financial and mental health issues, than fictional ones. Horror films provide people with the ability to express anxiety free from the constraints of social stigmas, as shrieking during a horror film provides a sense of catharsis without deviating from behavioral expectations.

Horror movies have also been experimented with as a form of exposure therapy, the idea that fears must be faced directly in order to be tolerated or overcome. Horror movie exposure therapy is most applicable to people who have common phobias, such as clowns, spiders, or the dark. Learning to endure these horror movie tropes can help people cope with phobias in the future.

the brain to associate the two events. If the brain faces another frightening situation in the future, it will expect a reward after the threat has passed, improving the body’s tolerance and endurance for fearsome circumstances.

that continued into 2021 with another broken record. Horror films can distance the viewer from a stress-inducing reality by pulling their attention to a more immediate source of stress: the movie. Placing their anxiety on

Horror is often taken as simply frights and scares, but its hidden layer of complexity is what makes it so enticing. Being able to initiate biological processes and even psychologically tricking your brain are all factors contributing to the horror genre’s success, especially during dire times such as the COVID-19 pandemic. Entertaining and stress-reducing, horror continues to climb the charts, and it comes as no coincidence that something so frightening is able to captivate so many.

Nada Hameed / The Spectator

Jaden

Bae / The Spectator

Arts and Entertainment

2013 in Albums: Ten Years of Influence Music

By ADELE BOIS and ROXY PERAZZO

It’s hard to believe that 2013, the year of “Thrift Shop” and Miley Cyrus’s risqué transformation, was 10 years ago. Music styles have changed and trends have evolved, but 2013 should not be left in the dust. Here is a look at the albums that shaped both 2013 and music as we know it.

LONG.LIVE.A$APA$AP Rocky

Following the release of his wildly successful 2011 debut, LIVE. LOVE.A$AP, New York-based rapper A$AP Rocky was looking at a $3 million deal with RCA Records and an expectant fanbase. After nearly 8 months of delay, Rocky delivered his first studio album, LONG.LIVE. A$AP, solidifying his status as a talented lyricist, producer, and storyteller. LONG.LIVE. is where Rocky’s musical versatility shines—he holds his own alongside stars like Action Bronson and Kendrick Lamar, while also softening his vocals and taking a more melodic approach on genrebending songs like “I Come Apart,” featuring Florence and the Machine’s Florence Welch. This dynamic creates a unique sense of flow and rhythm present in his music to this day. Though Rocky occasionally features alternative artists on the album, he made sure to include songs like “[EXPLETIVE] Problems,” an iconic posse cut featuring Lamar, Drake, and 2 Chainz, which hit number eight on the US Billboard Hot 100. LONG. LIVE. foreshadows Rocky’s future as a unifier and curator of styles from Harlem to Houston, bridging EDM beats and operatic vocals with aggressive, self-satisfied bars, and— perhaps his biggest achievement on the album—drawing from his experience as part of hip hop collective A$AP Mob to create unexpected

partnerships. Rocky’s psychedelic rap was and still is revolutionary, influencing rappers like Travis Scott and later contributing to the boom of subgenres like cloud rap and trap. Through his unique sound, Rocky’s work remains an inspiration for rappers today, and his innovation within psychedelic rap has secured his longevity for a decade and counting.

Comedown MachineThe Strokes

How does one top a debut album that was credited with bringing indie music into the mainstream, causing The Strokes to be called the “forefathers of a bold new era”? For the NYC-based rock band, this was the essential question. In previous albums, lead singer Julian Casablancas handled the bulk of the songwriting and production, whereas on Comedown Machine, The Strokes display their teamwork, leading—in part—to the vast stylistic range across the 11 tracks. They bounce from ‘80s synth on “Happy Ending” and “One Way Trigger” to classic Strokes garage rock on “All the Time.” Casablanca’s falsetto vocals paired with Nick Valenci’s and Albert Hammond’s daring guitar solos proved the band could beat their name-making debut. The album’s fourth track, “Welcome to Japan,” is an outstanding radio hit with witty one-liners like “what kind of [EXPLETIVE] drives a Lotus?” The track is loaded with nostalgia—the guitar riffs, background synths, and muted drum beats are disco-esque, and call upon The Strokes’s influences of Blondie and A-ha. Though the album garnered mixed reviews from fans expecting an Is This It sequel, Comedown Machine proves the ability of The Strokes to transcend expectations and provide listeners with a multifaceted display of collaboration and experimentation. Today, this level of experimentation can be seen in bands like Cage the Elephant

and Arctic Monkeys, who use raw instrumentation and high energy vocals to emulate and expand upon the “garage rock” genre that The Strokes repopularized.

Nothing Was the SameDrake “I make songs for the people,” Drake said before dropping his third studio album, Nothing Was the Same. “I want you to be part of it… just don’t be surprised when I’m singing or using melody.” Known for his fusion of hip-hop, R&B, and soul, Drake shows his introspective side on Nothing, adjusting to the fame he earned from two of his biggest successes, Thank Me Later (2010) and Take Care (2011). He takes a Kanye-esque approach to Nothing through his self-declared people-geared mindset—he is embracing his popularity, but acknowledges his roots and the people who helped him along the way. One instance is exemplified on his “Started From the Bottom” lyric: “Story stay the same through the money and the fame / ‘Cause we started from the bottom, now we’re here.” Nothing highlighted Drake’s talent as a catchy songwriter and master of flow, but also cemented his place in the mid-2010’s rap scene, combining old-school era flows and melodic rap. This use of melody in addition to bars would prove to be very influential, inspiring a generation of artists like Post Malone and Juice WRLD who used the genre to sing freely about their upbringings, struggles with relationships, and desire for fame, inspired by the confessions and emotion prevalent in Nothing. They also mimic his production styles, opting for gloomy, melancholic backing tracks—like the Wu-Tang inspired loops on Nothing—and frequent use of beat changes to convey varying emotions.

Clearly, Drake fulfilled his promise of making an album for the people to enjoy. Nothing hit number one

on the US Billboard Hot 100, and to this day is cited as one of Drake’s most influential albums, echoing his “Pound Cake / Paris Morton Music 2” verse: “Only real music is gonna last / All that other [EXPLETIVE] is here today and gone tomorrow.”

Pure HeroineLorde

Pure Heroine perfectly captures the hazy, nostalgic memories of young adulthood. For Lorde, these moments and emotions were ripe and immediate. Lorde, only 16 years old when Pure Heroine was released, ushered in a new pop era—one that criticized the mainstream for its shallowness and dealt with the loss of youth while remaining catchy and loveable. The album’s lead single, “Royals,” brings these ideas to center stage with its overt criticism of the consumerism and luxury in mainstream pop culture in lines like “But everybody’s like Cristal, Maybach, diamonds on your timepiece / Jet planes, islands, tigers on a gold leash / We don’t care.” Lorde’s refreshing take on pop was widely praised amongst critics for its contemplation of modern culture—she was even dubbed “the future of music” by David Bowie. This has largely been the case, as Pure Heroine’s influence can be seen in rising stars like Olivia Rodrigo and Gracie Abrams, who aspire to make meaningful music dealing with mental health and other hefty subjects. Pure Heroine serves as a reflection of encroaching adulthood, spinning a cautionary tale of the celebrity world, as exemplified by tracks like “A World Alone” and “Ribs,” whose sentimental and nostalgic lyrics are laid over Lorde’s signature melancholic pop melodies. The commercial success of Pure Heroine seems contradictory to its principles, but it comes as no surprise—it is exactly what pop music needed more of.

Playlist The Thrilling Conclusion

By THE ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT DEPARTMENT

Nicole, Kenisha and Levi, also known as NicKeL, are signing off from their editorial duties. Here is their unfiltered final contribution to the zestiest department of the Spectator.

Nicole: The Great War Taylor Swift Synthpop

Mama’s Gun Glass Animals Indie pop

Neon Lights Pim Stones Alternative R&B

Kenisha: m y . l i f e J. Cole, 21 Savage, Morray Trap

Faith The Weeknd Synthpop / Alternative R&B

Daddy Lessons Beyoncé Pop soul

By GALEN JACK

Skateboarding’s legacy has always been one of casual ingenuity. Invented in California as a means to surf on land, skateboarding arose as an offshoot of surfing culture. As skating gradually became its own art form and distanced itself from its precursor, skaters across the nation invented new tricks and maneuvers, each more daring than the last. As the culture of skateboarding spread, skate videos rose in popularity as a means for skaters to document their exploits.

One of the earliest skate videos, “The Bones Brigade Video Show” (1984), set standards which became foundational for future skate videos, like utilizing a cameraman riding a skateboard alongside the filmed skater to record tricks, eventually being compiled and edited to music. Additionally, B-roll (footage that is not skateboarding) was included, giving a unique and immersive feel to “The Bones Brigade Video Show” and making the skaters more personified for audiences.

The staples of skate video B-roll introduced in this video, like skaters being attacked by security guards or scolded by pedestrians, are incorporated in most modern skate videos.

With “The Bones Brigade Video Show” as its foundation, H-Street’s “Shackle Me Not” (1993) video was born. It was the first to use a fisheye lens to record skateboarding and incorporated a punk aesthetic, which is now heavily associated with not only skateboarding videos but also skate culture.

William Strobeck began filming skateboarding in the early ‘90s

outside of an art museum in Syracuse, New York. At the age of 17, he moved to Philadelphia, the center of East Coast skateboarding at the time, and continued to film, honing his craft and working on some of the most influential videos of the early 2000s. In 2012, Strobeck released his first short film, “My Lovely Mess,” and began filming his first video for Supreme, “Cherry.”

“Cherry” (2014) marks a distinct shift in the general aesthetic and cinematography of modern skate videos. In “Cherry” (and his later videos for Supreme), Strobeck intentionally focuses less on showcasing technically impressive skate maneuvers and more on the vibe of the skaters themselves, emphasizing the grime, glamor, and culture of New York City skateboarding. Skateboarding in New York is unique because of the city’s unpredictable and often unpleasant weather. With this threat hanging over their heads, New York skaters tend to fully commit to every trick they attempt because they don’t know when it will be warm enough for them to come back and try again. Strobeck spotlights this specific toughness of New York skaters by including their bloody injuries and complete lack of fear. He also includes B-roll of confessions of love the skaters receive, interactions they have with elderly pedestrians, and harassment they receive from bystanders.

“Cherry” ultimately serves as an advertisement for Supreme, showing how brave and tough those who don the brand are. Strobeck’s goal in his videos is to sell a product—in this case, for Supreme—so the priority of his filming is centered around marketing the “idea” of skating

while simultaneously incorporating the distinctive Supreme logo in shots. This marketing ingenuity, combined with the video’s grayscale filming and creative editing which Strobeck borrows from “My Lovely Mess,” gives “Cherry” a revolutionary cinematic quality which he then applies to his subsequent videos.

Strobeck’s latest project with Supreme, “Play Dead” (2022), arguably pushes the stylistic choices set in “Cherry” too far, overemphasizing product advertisement and capturing the “skate vibe” but not enough of the skating itself. The video opens with a montage of skater Sully Cormier sliding and grinding on curbs and concrete barriers. Strobeck’s frantic camerawork and audio of “Change (In the House of Flies)” by Deftones mirrors Cormier’s frantic skating.

Sage Elsesser, one of the most technically skilled skaters featured in the video, appears in the following segment. However, Strobeck’s filming fails to highlight his skill and has moments where Elsesser completely exits the frame.

Strobeck strikes the perfect balance between capturing the skateboarding and personalities of the skaters while filming Ben Kadow. Kadow skates to Billy Joel’s “It’s Still Rock and Roll to Me” (1980), refreshingly accentuating Kadow’s tricks and whimsical nature. Strobeck achieves this balance again while filming skater Nik Stain to the song “One” by Metallica. The juxtaposition of Stain goofing around on his skateboard to the intense lyrics of James Hetfield (“Nothing is real but pain now / Hold my breath as I wish for death”) exemplifies the humor of Strobeck’s film style; he

unashamedly presents an exaggerated and almost comical version of reality with his song choice and editing style.

“Play Dead” is concluded by Tyshawn Jones, one of the most talented skaters alive, who unfortunately is not exemplified by Strobeck’s videography. Jones leaps over trash cans and across enormous gaps, but the magnitude of these obstacles is almost impossible to discern. The most egregious example of this is Jones’s subway kickflip, one of the most impressive skateboarding feats, which Strobeck misses completely, cutting off Jones’s entire body and only showing his feet in frame. This moment encapsulates the weaknesses of Strobeck’s style; he carelessly glosses over one of the most important tricks of the decade, missing the mark for skate enthusiasts.

Skate videos are typically edited to compile a succession of smaller tricks that build up to one large trick, often teased months in advance and eagerly anticipated by the skateboarding community. Unfortunately, “Play Dead” falls short in this aspect. Strobeck’s filming and editing paired with the exhilarating music he chooses builds tension, but when the final trick of this video finally happens, the shot is so zoomed-in that it is impossible to appreciate. All of the excitement for the subway kickflip is killed by Strobeck’s poor filming, which makes the video ultimately unsatisfying despite how well put together some of it is. Though Strobeck’s videography has long supported the foundation of modern skate videos, his newest project “Play Dead” relies too heavily on intense and sporadic film shots, taking away from the skate content itself.

Levi: Heavy Water / I’d Rather Be Sleeping Grouper Ambient

Midwest emo

Bird Wings Valium Aggelein Indie rock

Archangel Burial Garage

Bonus: Momoca Show Me How Men I Trust Bedroom pop Words F. R. David Europop

It’s Days Like This… Everyone Asked About You

“Play Dead”: A Product of Its Predecessors or a Supreme Advert? Film

Arts and Entertainment

LCD Soundsystem Has Not Lost Its Edge Music

By LEVI SIMON and THEODORE YOCHUM

James Murphy isn’t a typical rock star. He has no interest in building a larger-than-life persona, nor does he carry inflated false relatability. He is a genuine everyman, an amalgam of countless classic predecessors: dorky Elvis Costello; manic, jilted David Byrne; progressive, bombastic Bowie; and synthetic, blocky Kraftwerk. On his first track as the founding frontman of LCD Soundsystem, “Losing My Edge” (2002), he recites an encyclopedia of influential underground legends from throughout music history, satirizing the music-nerd community while expressing a genuine fear of falling behind the times and “losing [his] edge to the art-school Brooklynites in little jackets and borrowed nostalgia for the unremembered eighties.”

He sang that line on stage, waving coyly at the packed warehouse audience of LCD Soundsystem’s sixth show of their 20-night Brooklyn Steel residency. It was their 20th anniversary as a band. The stage setup consisted of Murphy, seven bandmates (one in a vintage Jesus Lizard shirt, one dressed in a blond wig, unmoving expression and blazer over neon, the rest in typical daily attire), two electric guitars, a bass, two drum kits, eight synthesizers stacked atop each other like robot bunk beds, thick cables snaking between feet, and four cowbells. Above their heads hung a disco ball ten feet wide, harkening back to the cover of their debut album and reflecting the directional light show onto the crowd, which mostly consisted of ludicrously inebriated hipsters in their mid-30s donning beanies over their burgeoning bald spots.

The show began with some deep cuts from the beginning of Sound of Silver (2007), the band’s most critically acclaimed album. Murphy’s troupe was mostly stationary, casting their eyes towards their instruments. Though the crowd and band alike were still revving up their energy, the music was fantastic. The drummers locked in while Murphy played a lovely little cowbell solo, and the jittery synths and guitars culminated in a thick, danceable crescendo that had the whole crowd jumping.

After Murphy had loosened up, the show came to a point at “I Can Change.” It was the first hit of the night, with the introductory sprinkle of quirky, colorful ‘80s synth leads that raised the spirits of the room instantly. Lyrically, the track reflects on inauthenticity in relationships, and despite the frontman’s carefree footwork across the stage, the crowd’s relationship with him felt strained, as if he were confessing to fraudulence in front of us. “I can change if it helps you fall in love,” he sang, as the crowd swooned. In his two decades since founding the band, Murphy has aged into his grizzled beard. His music has grown more mature, compositionally and thematically, alongside his body. Yet there was a boyishness to his slumping shoulders, the way his arms hung at his side while he sang, and the innocent candor of his speaking voice, which, between every few songs, reminded the audience of his gratitude. He looked small under the giant disco ball— the image that defines him.

The lighting was an incredible supplement to the band’s performance. Individual instruments synchronized with the LED backlighting so that each blast of bass or vast

brass hit felt as if it showered the venue in refracted disco-ball glitter. Other hits like “Daft Punk Is

buzzing cochleas in its wake.

The greatness continued postintermission. The glockenspiel on

its live rendition. But as the clock ticked toward 11:00 p.m., there were a few key tracks yet to be performed. “New York I Love You, But You’re Bringing Me Down” was a heartwarming tribute to the band’s hometown, as the backlights shapeshifted into the Manhattan skyline. Murphy had some fun banter with his guitarist, lightening the mood and amplifying the emotional final push of the track into a Pixaresque stew of love for the city, 20 years of camaraderie, and twinkly storybook pianos. “Dance Yrself Clean,” the band’s biggest hit, cleared the crowd’s misty eyes. The rising “aah” refrain sounded fantastic with a chorus of hipsters singing along, each eagerly anticipating the iconic drop. Each compositional layer built the suspense, and the rubbery synth bass release sent the gaggle into a groovy frenzy. “All My Friends” closed off the show, a beautifully fitting way to unify the room, which was simultaneously swaying and dancing to one of the best songs to ever come from New York City.

Playing at My House” and “Home” pumped the crowd up further, but just as quickly as the first half of the show had come, it was gone, leaving

“Someone Great” was especially memorable, and “North American Scum” was an especially satisfying snipe at snooty Europeans in

The Faces or the Voices? Film

By MUNEM TAJWAR

In a recent appearance on the 2 Bears, 1 Cave podcast, Quentin Tarantino, director of classics like Pulp Fiction (1994) and Inglourious Basterds (2009), told host Tom Segura that the concept of a movie star is falling out of the modern-day movie industry, calling it the “Marvel-ization of Hollywood.” Modern movie consumers stopped caring about their favorite actors and actresses, but instead look for the franchise characters within: “You have all these actors who have become famous playing these characters, but they’re not movie stars,” said Tarantino. When watching a trailer, viewers see Captain America before Chris Evans; Thor before Chris Hemsworth; Edward Cullen before Robert Pattinson.

Logically, this phenomenon becoming the norm should enable new and lesser-known actors to break into the mainstream: if the character takes prece dence over its actor, the actor’s preexisting fame becomes less relevant.

The genre of animated films especially benefits from this trend. With movie stars no longer having to attract audiences for profit, a film can gain success on its own merits, with its story and artistic detail.

However, that is not the case right now. The trailer for The Super Mario Bros Movie was released a few weeks ago, and the movie features beloved childhood characters like Princess Peach,

Bowser, and Luigi. But instead of using acclaimed voice actors, they cast celebrities like Anya Taylor-Joy, Jack Black, Charlie Day, and… Chris Pratt as Mario?

Movie stars have always played voice characters, but the stars themselves were never the main attraction.

The beginning of the shift in this business can be estimated to have started with the casting of the late Robin Williams in Aladdin (1992). Williams, unsurprisingly, gave such a charismatic performance in the movie, creating a feeling that was not just the character of genie on the silver screen but Williams himself.

The producers and directors caught onto this spark as they directly modeled the lines and characteristics of Genie using Williams as their inspiration and—for a large part

marketing his performance. After this release, executives and producers alike began realizing that centering Hollywood actors and actresses in marketing campaigns can launch animated films to stardom. Just looking at the next animated feature film releases in Disney’s catalog, there is a visible increase of high-profile names in casts—from Johnathon Taylor Thomas and James Earl Jones in The Lion King (2019) to Tom Hanks’s newfound stardom in Toy Story (1995).

In the current era, modern-day “stars,” are plastered all over animation projects; it’s hard to find an animation project without a high-profile name attached to it. And make no mistake, this is not done in silence. Almost every trailer with a high-profile celebrity features the name of a celebrity in flashy bold letters to

tion of viewers. The aforementioned Chris Pratt as Mario comes to mind. Mario, a small mustached man with a heavy Italian accent, will be played by Andy Dwyer from Parks and Recreation.

One of the most prominent occurrences—and failures—of having celebrities voice act is the film Shark Tale (2004). The movie racked up a star-studded cast, including the names of Will Smith, Robert De Niro, Martin Scorcese, Jack Black, and Angelina Jolie. With all of them being phenomenal actors in their own right, this movie should’ve been an award-winning classic on paper. However, it ended up supplying mediocre plot and performances. Despite the higher critical success of animated films with a prioritization of professionally trained voice actors, studios have been feeding on the success of Robin Williams’s revolutionary performance and forsaking artistic value for commercial success. Audiences’ obsession with superstars in voice acting roles is not nearly as important as a film’s artistic value, like the actors’ performance and design.

The one thing that remains constant throughout this evolution of voice acting is Hollywood’s lack of respect for voice actors. In comparison to other actors, voice actors are often belittled, treated as “inferior” to other actors under the assumption that anyone can voice act. Many disregard the years of training and dedication voice actors go through to attain their wide range of skills. Voice actors manage to bring life into two-dimensional characters without the bonuses of facial expression and body language actors can utilize. Many are able to incredibly encapsulate emotions and tension without any visuals, but all are based

While the closing triad was excellent, the true highlight was “Losing My Edge” from the first half. The minimal beat built slowly before imploding into crashing fills and pounding bass roil. With each frenetic breakdown, Murphy grew more and more convincingly angry, both afraid of and grateful to the Brooklynites in little jackets he faced. Though it was the first song he wrote, “Losing My Edge” was prophetic of his career. It stripped James Murphy down to his brilliant essence—a man drowning in influences with no expectations of stardom who somehow became his unique self under the disco ball spotlight.

on the interpretation of words on paper.

This stigma against voice actors has affected the public perception of their place in the entertainment industry. Young voice actors entering the business have been quickly pushed out due to not only big movies getting flooded with high-tier celebrities, but also TV shows, commercials, video games, and many more as studios are prioritizing live-action stars over trained voice actors.

Tarantino said in his recent statement that actors do not catch their “big break” the same way they used to; viewers associate an actor with a single character for the rest of their career. It’s hard to prove Tarantino wrong as trends in the media industry back his reasoning, but one can debate the positive effects of this culture. Hollywood shying away from targeting big movie stars can help producers and directors trust their own process and not spend millions of dollars on one star to ensure their movies’ success. Marvel Studios as of late has been fond of the notion, as they have cast lesser-known actors like Simu Liu and Iman Vellani in lead roles as loyal audiences can rely on the movies’ quality to maintain interest. This makes the process of casting big movie stars for voice projects even more frustrating as these films do not need big stars like they used to.

Voice acting is one of the most underappreciated occupations in the entertainment industry and is constantly overlooked by studios and audiences alike in their ability to deliver stories and generational performances. The overabundance of movie actors in voice roles has effectively marginalized opportunity and quality for the industry. Without a reevaluation of the audience’s desires, the industry will continue deteriorating, creating increasingly dull projects that are nothing more than cash grabs for studios.

Courtesy of Levi Simon Celeste

Spectator

Looking Through the Glass Onion Film

By LUCA ADEISHVILI

“We are disruptors.” Those are the words Glass Onion’s pseudo-hippie billionaire Miles Bron (Edward Norton) uses to describe his entourage. A disruptor is someone who is willing to break a small thing—a convention, norm, or idea—rather than a bigger thing, and then the biggest thing, something nobody else is willing to break. Glass Onion is just as disruptive as Bron’s crew. It is a hodgepodge of Chekhov’s guns, subversive mystery, and most notably, glass onions. In all its disruption, Glass Onion stands out from its predecessor and other mystery movies.

Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery (2022) is an American whodunit film directed by Rian Johnson and the highly anticipated sequel to Knives Out (2019).

Daniel Craig reprises his role as the genius detective Benoit Blanc, who receives an invitation to tech billionaire and Alpha CEO Miles Bron’s private island for his murder mystery party. Bron is accompanied by his group of close friends, who he colloquially refers to as “the disruptors.”

Connecticut governor Claire Debella (Kathryn Hahn), Alpha head

scientist Lionel Toussaint (Leslie Odom Jr.), former model Birdie Jay (Kate Hudson), right-wing YouTuber Duke Cody (Dave Bautista) and his much younger girlfriend Whiskey (Madelyn Cline), and Bron’s estranged business partner Cassandra “Andi” Brand (Janelle Monáe).

Monáe and Craig’s performances are the highlights of the film. Craig entertainingly portrays Benoit Blanc through his signature witty mannerisms and bombastic, drawled line delivery, while Monáe shines alongside him with an exceptionally multilayered performance. The supporting cast also has its moments, with Norton’s charismatic rendition as the Musklike billionaire Bron and Bautista’s humorous performance as boorish meathead Duke Cody. The superb acting is complemented by Glass Onion’s brilliant dialogue, notably Bron’s “disruptors” speech and Blanc’s final monologue, both of which bring wit and sophistication to the film.

Another standout quality of the movie is its intricately subversive plot. Glass Onion offers a unique take on the mystery genre in a multitude of ways. No actual murder occurs until the second act, and instead of revealing the mystery in the end, it is unveiled

in the middle of the film through a series of flashbacks that recontextualize the movie’s entire first half. However, the film mostly subverts the genre through its recurring glass onion metaphor, a term originating from the Beatles song “Glass Onion,” which signifies people”s tendency to overanalyze simple things. In this vein, Glass Onion’s mystery contains many layers that give it an apparent complexity, yet the solution—the “core” of it—is crystal clear once one stops searching for a greater meaning. Unlike many of your run-of-the-mill whodunits, where the mystery’s intricacies run deep and the solution requires analysis of each layer, Glass Onion’s mystery is shallow, simplistic, and uninteresting. However, as a testament to the movie’s exceptional quality, Glass Onion manages to retain an enthralling story through this extended metaphor and its high caliber of writing.

Though Glass Onion is packed with great writing and acting, it is not without its “disruptive” qualities. While the movie does contain many stellar performances, many of the supporting actors feel vastly underused despite the film’s large ensemble. Compared to the supporting cast of Knives Out, many of Glass Onion’s charac-

ters feel one-note and forgettable, especially Peg (Birdie’s assistant), Claire, and Lionel. Glass Onion also suffers from pacing issues, especially in the second act, when the entire story pauses for a half-hour long flashback. Though it does not completely ruin the film’s pacing, the middle of the movie drags on for just a bit too long.

Outside of these issues, Glass Onion’s message seems to be another “monumental flaw” that bogs down the viewing experience, according to a certain group of billionaire-loving people. Glass Onion is unapologetically critical of wealth and the people who hold it, with this critique first showcased through Blanc’s investigation of Bron’s entourage and their potential motives for killing Bron in order to use his wealth. However, lying at the core of director Rian Johnson’s critique of the ultra-rich is Bron himself. Initially portrayed as a charismatic supergenius, Bron reveals his true colors as a conniving, self-centered narcissist, in addition to an idiotic, unoriginal loser who will go to the extent of murdering his own business partner just to make more money.

Bron represents society’s “selfmade billionaire,” and Johnson seeks to critique this image by satirizing his character. Moreover,

Glass Onion sets itself apart from other thematically similar movies by offering some sort of solution: burning the whole system down. This is best exemplified by the literal burning of Bron’s island home, orchestrated by his group of “disruptors.” After realizing the justice system will not serve justice to the deserving Bron, they take action into their own hands and create a true disruption.

Glass Onion once again demonstrates Rian Johnson’s ability to intelligently subvert the mystery genre by flipping it on its head with a distinct plot structure and an unconventional murder mystery executed with great precision and care. This “disruptive” masterpiece is elevated by its stellar writing; remarkable performances from Daniel Craig, Janelle Monáe, and other supporting cast members; and a poignant message regarding the wealthy and their idolized image. Though it suffers from an underutilized supporting cast and somewhat inconsistent pacing, Glass Onion remains an enjoyable viewing experience for those exploring the “whodunit” genre. The only question that remains is how director Rian Johnson will continue to put his own twist on the mystery genre in the third Knives Out movie.

A Year in Review: 2022’s Best Albums Music

By LEVI SIMON

2022 was, by all accounts, a rebound. It’s been the first year in recent memory that was unimpeded by pesky viruses or riots. The status quo is returning. Just as the world is in a state of transitory flux, the music scene is scattered: some trends continued (strong year for boom bap), some imploded under their weight (sigh… pop punk), and some experimentalists explored new paths entirely. It was a relatively medium year—lots of weak, unmemorable releases—but here are 10 projects (and eight honorable mentions) that rose to the top in 2022.

10. Black Thought & Danger Mouse - Cheat Codes Boom bap BMG

Top Song: “Aquamarine”

Cheat Codes is one of the classiest, most likable albums of the year. Two bona fide legends fuse chunky drums, liquid loops, and sharp bars into a brick of airtight hip-hop. It may not take many risks, but it is the pinnacle of its craft. The feature list brightens and diversifies Cheat Codes’s strong baseline: neo-soul experimentalist Michael Kiwanuka lends his talents to “Aquamarine,” Conway the Machine adds his signature nasal flair to “Saltwater,” and MF DOOM’s posthumous verse on “Belize” is a loving tribute to his legacy and a brilliant centerpiece to the project.

9. Marina Herlop - Pripyat Glitch pop PAN

Top Song: “ubuntu”

Catalonian artist Marina Herlop turns into a Martian on Pripyat The spliced, shattered cantorial vocals stretch and collapse, resembling Björk’s Medulla (2004), but the slippery pianos and guitars, spikes of deconstructed club bass, skittering metallic textures, and extraterrestrial ambience add influence from avantgarde masterminds like Arca and Holly Herndon. Pripyat sounds like an alien egg crashing through the stained-glass window of an old synagogue—the majority of the lyrics are Hebraic prayers—and it is one of

the strangest and best projects of the year for it.

8. Bladee & Ecco2k - Crest Synthpop YEAR0001

Top Song: “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun”

Internet culture staples Bladee and Ecco2k join forces to complete their transition from linear trap to androgynous, pastoral, airy pop music. With their newfound joyous aesthetic, they embrace genderbent sexual subtext and allusions to Hinduism, Buddhism, and Christianity alike. The production is relatively minimalist, yet vibrant and full. Bouncy pads, breathy falsettos, pulsing house influence, and dreamy melodies are each one prismic piece of Crest’s immediately distinguishable mosaic identity. Crest is one of the most successful fusions of spirituality and sleek modernity of the decade thus far.

7. Alex G - God Save the Animals

Indie rock Domino Records

Top Song: “Runner”

Alex G has come a long way from his ramshackle bedroom slacker folk. God Save The Animals is an ambitious undertaking, with tastefully integrated autotune, reversed piano, and a noisy guitar wall shoved into one pop song. Alex’s greatest strength remains his songwriting. He has a unique ability to make every verse, bridge and chorus equally catchy, distinct, and memorable with a limited set of tools. Standout tracks include “Runner,” one of the year’s best sing-along anthems, and “Miracles,” one of its sweetest tunes. God Save The Animals may not be reinventing the wheel, but it is the most refined showcase of Alex G’s skills to date.

6. Duster - Together Slowcore

Numero Group

Top Song: “Making Room”

Slowcore legends Duster have had a monster year. Besides soundtracking every other #aesthetic TikTok vignette of angsty jejunity,

they quietly added a collection of 13 new languorous mid-tempo blissedout waves of goopy guitar leads and pensive, steady vocals. With the massive distorted bass on “Making Room” and spinning arpeggios on “Feel No Joy,” Duster venture into the low end of the mix, trading the vintage brittle crunch from their typical formula for a new sense of grandeur. Still, Together is fundamentally the same wistful window-gazing music that Duster is known for. That is to say, it is just as great a backdrop for pondering your existence as it is for posing to your followers.

5. foxtails - fawn Screamo Skeletal Lightning

Top Song: “space orphan”

A “screamo” offering may sound difficult to stomach for most listeners, but foxtails’s fourth and best album tempers lead singer Blue Luno Solaz’s despaired, throat-destroying screams with catchy, crooked riffs and beautiful violin harmonies. Thematically, the narrator’s sense of imprisonment to their physical body, the conditions of their life, and the expectations of those around them propels the project. Despite the heavy subject matter and sonic intensity, foxtails use multi-phasic song structures to properly build up anticipation and emotion, and often, their comparatively subdued breaths for air, expressed via postpunk angst, are just as gratifying as the anguished payoffs. foxtails are definitely a band to watch.

4. Silvana Estrada - Marchita Chamber folk AWAL

Top Song: “La Corriente”

The prototype of a folk artist meekly hides their vocals behind poetic distractions and technical guitarwork. Silvana Estrada is not a typical folk artist. Estrada is the most electrifying vocal presence of the year, hands down. She can do it all, from breathy whispers to fiery belting to soft cooing. Estrada’s dynamism alone propels Marchita to greatness, turning sparse guitar and piano arrangements into blooming fireworks, complete with saxophone and string licks to accent her sublime

vibrato runs. She is quite the songwriter as well. Each track packs a vocal riff that firmly lodges itself in the memory and refuses to let go. Overall, it’s hard to find a bad thing to say about Marchita

3. Kali Malone - Living Torch Drone Portraits GRM Top Song: “Living Torch II”

Living Torch is the overture to an imaginary cult ceremony. It is divided into two halves that sum to 33 minutes and 33 seconds, the former of which is dense with humming electronics, whistling, microtonal pipe organs, and progressions that are both tectonically massive and patient. It is both meditative and foreboding; it feels like the warmth of sacred candlelight encircling a kneeled devotee draped in silk and velvet. The second track is minimal, but its wails and waves of string drones surge together into a mesmerizing, hypnotic crescendo which could score either a deific encounter or the heat death of the universe. Both pieces are achingly gorgeous, and the most effective drone of the decade thus far.

2. Black Country, New RoadAnts From Up There (AFUT) Post-rock Ninja Tune Top Song: “Concorde”

Yeah, yeah. This is the safe pick. It’s safe for a reason though. It’s hard for critics not to fawn over Broadway-esque compositions, jittery melodic appeal, lovably dorky lyrics, and a strong emotional core— not to mention that the lead singer, Isaac Wood, departed BC,NR immediately following the project’s release for mental health reasons, so AFUT has future classic written all over it. Somehow, it makes melodrama and mental breakdowns feel fun with alto saxophone and soft violin whine draped atop meticulously arranged buildups and infinitely memorable outbursts that never seem to stop ascending. The narratives behind AFUT are still unfolding, but regardless of where Black Country, New Road end up, they’ve created a defining rock album for an anxious generation.

1. billy woods - Aethiopes Abstract hip hop Backwoodz Studioz

Top Song: “Remorseless”

Brooklyn rapper billy woods delivers another stunner, adding to his legacy as one of the most prolific and poignant poets in hip-hop history. On Aethiopes, he widens the scope of his lyricism from personal tribulation and subtextual systemic critique to direct, scorching, postmodern takedowns of imperialism. Well, “direct” is a misnomer—woods’s music takes work to fully understand; it is a brambly, tangled labyrinth of references, samples and surreal, bleak imagery littered on each track like gnawed bones on a barren beach. Veteran producer Preservation’s beats double down on depicting the rusted creak of a system beyond repair, with weeping synth leads, sunburnt saxophone blares, shambling percussive grooves, and slinking, catacombic guitars. Aethiopes is not only the best album of 2022, but among the greatest hip-hop projects in recent memory, with a singular voice behind the mic and a wholly unique aesthetic.

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

Florist - Florist (indie folk)

FKA Twigs - CAPRISONGS (alternative R&B)

J.I.D - The Forever Story (trap)

Ian Noe - River Fools & Mountain Saints (country)

Organ Tapes - Chang Zhe Na Wu Ren Wen Jin De Ge Yao (ambient pop)

Nas - King’s Disease III (boom bap)

Cities Aviv - Man Plays the Horn (experimental hip-hop)

Big Thief - Dragon New Warm Mountain I Believe In You (folk rock)

So You Don't Have Your ID…

By MADELYN LI NUNEZ

The student ID: the most despised three-and-5/16 inch by two-and-1/16 inch piece of plastic in the world. While ev ery Stuyvesant student wants to throw their ID into the Hudson River so that they never have to see the ID photo that makes their forehead three times too large again, it is our only way to enter the school—unless you want Mr. Moran to tackle you, that is.

Nonetheless, sometimes you just do not have your ID. You probably chucked it away on your way to school on your birthday so you did not have to hear the ID scanner sing a distorted version of “Happy Birthday” to you. After losing my ID by doing exactly that, I can now expertly guide you on how to get into the school building on time. I promise you that all of these methods totally work, as long as you do not question their efficiency (and as long as you do not mind possibly being written up). The key word is “possibly.”

Option One: Bribery

Do not give me the look that you are making right now. We both know that bribing the ID scanner monitors will not be the first time you com mit bribery during your time at

Stuyvesant. I am omniscient. I know what you did to that poor freshman last week, and you should be terrified. However,

looking at you, Terry’s traitors. If somehow none of the scanner monitors give in to the temptation of one of Terry’s heavenly, delicious, mouthwatering pizza bagels, please message Madelyn Li Nunez on Facebook, and she can take it

Option Two: Gaslighting “What do you mean? Of course, that is my photo on the screen. Did you not hear the bing! go off when I scanned my ID? Do I need to get you a stronger prescription for your glasses? I think you also need to clean all of the earwax out of your ears. Because I did scan my ID, and it did go through the computer.” This blurb is known as the “Pledge of Gaslighting.” This will be your argument whenever you choose to pull the gaslighting card. It is the sharpest tool in any Stuy kid’s arsenal, considering how much they use it: “No, of course you didn’t assign homework yesterday!” The “Pledge of Gaslighting” is recited more times in a Stuy kid’s life span than the Pledge of Allegiance,

and this is a fact because I know that you know that you have never seen any student stand up to say the Pledge of Allegiance during the threeminute nap time—sorry, announcements—every morning.

Option Three: Impersonation

This option is not that simple. If you choose impersonation, you must understand what you are getting yourself into. For this step, you must choose your most disliked teacher (I suggest a teacher that most recently gave you a bad grade— I have my own in mind), kidnap them, discard them, and simply pretend to be them. Nothing more, nothing less. You really have to commit to this option to execute it properly; otherwise, it is a pretty easy one to complete (I am not talking from personal experience at all). Despite this, I know you are not as perfect as I am, so if you slip up in some way or another and the cops show up at your door, you never read this article (see option two). In fact, what even is The Spectator?

Option Four: Breaking In

Mr. Stephan’s class: a.k.a. the “bring-your-jacket-to-classunless-you-want-to-freezebecause-the-windows-are-

always-open” class. For those of you who have not yet taken Music Appreciation or took it online, the windows leading into Mr. Stephan’s classroom are on the same block as Terry’s. As you walk down the block, just look through every window until you are peering into a classroom full of an uncanny amount of desks and chairs that have to be considered a hazard somewhere. All you need to do is slip through the window, and then you have successfully entered the school without your ID. The only drawback to this approach is that you will have to pack a saw in your lunchbox to break the metal bars installed on the windows.

Option Five: Common Sense

In the case that Terry’s runs out of pizza bagels, you are such a disappointment that you can not memorize the “Pledge of Gaslighting,” your kidnapping skills are subpar, and you cannot find a saw, it might be a bright idea to just walk into room 209, fill out the “I Forgot My ID Form,” and cough up the $3 ID fee. And yes, you literally have to cough up the $3. And there you go. That is how you get into school without your ID. However, if any of these options backfire, I did not write this article. Principal Yu did.

Joanna Meng / The Spectator

By ESHAAL UBAID

SZA boldly proclaimed, “It’s cuffing season.” And SZA was right. So what are YOU doing, reading this ancient newspaper in 2023 when you could be out there, rizzing up the maidens? Take it from me, your number one rizzlord, who’s absolutely overflowing with Discord kittens! Approaching women is not difficult at all. Stop sweating at the sight of them and start collecting romantic Ws with this patented process!

First, you’re going to look the look. No maiden is going to want a basic, dripless hooligan! The key to rizztastic drip is to make sure it’s UNIQUE. If someone else in the room looks similar, you’ve already failed. So make sure you…

Wear the most EXTRAVAGANT colors you can find. I’m talking neons, that one shade of

So You Want “W Rizz”

green no one wants to think about, and the tan suit that they canceled Obama for. Even if no one in their right mind would don it, you will. Call it a rizzurection of shunned colors.

Layer, layer, layer! As Shrek once said, ogres have layers, and he clearly rizzed up Fiona, warts and all! Yes, you SHOULD wear that sports jacket over that dress shirt. She’ll drool over the jock-academic combo.

Confuse, baffle, and disorient with your fashion sense. She won’t be able to take her eyes off of you.

Second, it’s time to talk the talk by NOT talking. Seriously, if you need to converse with a woman to get to know her, you’ve already failed. REAL unspoken rizz comes from observing and taking notes like an alpha male. So you’re going to walk into the room, stop, and stare her down. Because you’ve al-

ready gained confidence from your undeniable drip (e.g. a Pikachu onesie) from step one, all you need is to chat this maiden up. FALSE. Trap. NEVER speak. Your rizz is only good if it’s UNSPOKEN. Feel the power of your drip and mind control. Then, your nuclear rizzdiation will be unlocked, and she won’t be able to rizzist you on a subconscious level. Bam. You have secured a connection through silence. Does this sound difficult, confusing, or impossible? Then you’re just not ready. Fix your drip, or fix your attitude, and then try again.

Third, make her stay for all of rizzternity. You’ve nearly got the maiden. You’re so close. But don’t be fooled. You are not done. A true rizz master knows to keep up the good work even in the digital realm. After securing her number (which, once again, you

shouldn’t have to ask her for because your rizziation has already picked that up), send the most profound gesture of love imaginable with GamePigeon. Pool, chess, or even Word Hunt (if you’re feeling freaky) work well. Being able to play together clearly indicates that you are ready for the highs and lows of high school footba— relationships. I meant relationships. With all the challenges and wondrous memories you two will create, GamePigeon is the perfect means to bond for good.

Additionally, use the lip bite emoji often and with gumption. Combine it with the weary emoji for a special effect. If you’re feeling poetic, send a message composed entirely of emojis. She’ll get it.

There you have it, future rizzlord. If you follow this advice, you’ll obtaina maiden in no time.

Principal Yu’s AirBnB account uncovered: “Tribeca Weekend Getaway: 830 thousand square feet with pool.”

Wearing hats and hoods will finally be allowed in Stuy, so long as they are official Stuyvesant merchandise.

The Robotics lab has gotten another donation and is now taking over all of Stuyvesant.

The deans announced their plans to go into hibernation for the rest of the winter— hooray for our AirPods!

But the most important part is believing in yourself and being confident! You can do it, besties, because everyone is worthy of a little bit of love. Valentine’s Day is only 25 days away. Make them COUNT.

Elon Musk’s Competition for the Next Twitter CEO

By AAHAN SHAH

Multibillionaire and self-proclaimed “rad boi” Elon Musk announced his $44 billion takeover of Twitter in April of 2022, and it’s been very hard to keep up with the Twitter Saga since. Here’s the latest information.

In both child-naming and tech, Elon Musk continues to be a trailblazer in Silicon Valley by kickstarting the trend of making a multibillion-dollar decision “for funsies.” According to the man himself, Elon got no sleep from running a gazillion companies at once, then got “straight up elevated on some green stuff with Joe Rogan,” and then visualized a throne serenaded by songbirds, all singing in unison. Musk knew it was time to act.

Musk planned to free the speech of controversial public figures, announcing, “Twitter is an

angry parrot cage. Of course, parrots are able to repeat what their human owners say to them; thus, they must be able to repeat what they say to each other. The parrots all say different things at the same time, so they are just copying each other’s statements. However, everyone wants to say something different and bash one another’s opinions. The birds reproduce into bird bots that continue the bashing.”

Stuyvesant principal Seung Yu said, “I wish Stuyvesant could be a place like Twitter, where our proud students would have the space to argue pugnaciously with each other about anything under the sun, whether it be about the best cinematic Spiderman or the best teacher. Personally, I’m diehard Garfussy all the way, but I digress. I think that Facebook isn’t the right place for this, so hopefully we can use Twitter. Seung out.

Peace!”

Prompted by Mr. Yu’s insightful comment, Musk immediately decided to fire approximately 99.9 percent of the Twitter workforce, tweeting, “Yu rules, Musk doesn’t suc-sk!”

To decide who will be the next CEO of the world’s smallest company (Musk is the only current employee), Elon Musk will choose from three candidates:

1. Sam Bankman-Fried, commonly known as Sam BankruptFraud (SBF). SBF has put his goldplated hat in the ring and says he would like to use Twitter for environmental purposes: “As the former golden boy of cryptocurrency, it is my job to make sure that Twitter stays the loudmouth of crypto lovers and bandwagons. Crypto is all about financial security. That’s why we’re based in the Bahamas, a place where our money is secure from taxes and our custom-

ers don’t have to worry about me because I’m chilling at the beach.” Elon Musk appreciates SBF’s contempt for the U.S. government and theSecurities and Exchange Commission (SEC). However, Musk is unsure as to why SBF is still buying Sweetgreen salads while he’s down to his last $50 after FTX went bankrupt. SBF says his vegan diet shows that he is a smart person who cares about the environment because it’s not in his nature to steal from others.

2. Jimmy Donaldson, aka Mr. Beast, dubbed the King of Youtube. He is extremely popular among children and therefore likely to gain huge popularity among many Twitter users, including angry adults and loudmouth political pundits who fight to ensure that Gen Z inherits a better world. These people definitely offer very insightful and unbiased opinions on the political issues

The Importance of Being Ernie

By GABRIELLA HOEFNER

It’s 2:39 a.m. Your final English assignment is due later today. Unfortunately, you only started it about four and a half hours ago. As you write your conclusion, the words on your computer screen begin to blur together, and it takes every fiber in your body to keep your eyes open. Just a few more sentences and then I can sleep, you tell yourself as you check the SparkNotes on The Importance of Being Ernest for the 27th time.

You continue stringing together words until you’ve finally formed a somewhat comprehensible English sentence. At last! The essay is complete! You contemplate waiting until the morning to proofread it before submitting but decide that you don’t want your fullyconscious self to have to look at the atrocity you’ve just written, so instead, you open Google Classroom, attach the file, and click “Turn in” before immediately falling asleep over your keyboard.

The following day during lunch, after finding a cozy bathroom stall to eat your Lunchables in, you eagerly open your laptop to continue your 19-chapter Wattpad fanfiction, The Importance of

Being Ernie, a friends-to-lovers story about Bert and Ernie from Sesame Street. After spending the past two and a half years working on it, you’ve finally reached the last chapter, in which Ernie dumps his rubber ducky to marry his one true love, Bert. You feverishly type away as a tear trickles down your cheek: “Ernie helped Bert put on his paperclip engagement ring before sweeping him off his feet and kissing him. The two puppets then proceeded to [REDACTED].”

All of a sudden, your spidey senses begin to tingle and you get the feeling that something isn’t right, so you go back to Google Classroom and open your final English assignment. However, instead of your analytical essay on The Importance of Being Ernest, attached to the assignment is a copy of your steamy fanfiction.

You scream. This was it. These were your final moments on earth.

How could you make such a foolish mistake? Now your English teacher will never speak to you again! You frantically try to unsubmit the assignment, but your computer crashes (too much storage was used on Bert and Ernie fanart). Before you can restart

the device, the bell rings, signaling the start of English class.

It’s impossible to focus for the entirety of class. Every time you look away, you can sense your teacher’s judgmental eyes boring into you. You pray that he hasn’t read your paper yet, but you know that can’t be true—the man once

turies, the bell rings, and you rush to leave the classroom in order to unsubmit your assignment. However, an instant before you reach the doorway, the teacher calls your name, requesting to speak with you privately. Your heart stops. Your knees buckle. The air deflates from your lungs. Miracu-

of our country today. Of course, their views are very unbiased and definitely not liberal or conservative in nature.

3. Snoop Dogg. To make Twitter a more tranquil and productive ecosystem of ideas, he knows just the way to make everybody relax and think for a second on a higher level, literally. Snoop is extremely respected by Mark Zuckerberg, who credits Snoop for helping him to realize the Metaverse and its huge business potential. Mark subsequently walked back his statement after Meta stock fell. However, he double-walked back his statement saying, “Meta’s inevitable bankruptcy made me realize that I needed to spend time with my kids before it was too late. Anyways, my company is doomed and there is no point in going to work so I think I’ll just stay on the Metaverse buying up virtual real estate for now.”

again as long as I live, just don’t let me fail English, you pray.

“Yes, sir?” you finally mumble, not daring to look him in the eye. He sighs. “I just wanted to let you know that I look at your final paper and, well, it’s quite unlike anything I’ve ever received in all my years of teaching. I was especially taken aback by your rendition of the ‘Rubber Duckie’ song…”

“Look, sir, I can explain—”

“I absolutely loved it! What an insightful commentary on Oscar Wilde’s life! Why, I don’t think I’ve ever read anything so thoughtprovoking. I’m telling you, son, if you keep writing, you are going to go places in the future.”

entered your quiz grade onto Jupiter less than 30 seconds after you took it. After what feels like cen-

lously, you don’t drop dead. You slowly walk to the teacher’s desk. Please, God, I’ll never open Wattpad

You quickly thank the teacher and leave the room, utterly speechless as you contemplate your teacher’s words. Who knew he was into fanfiction? Under any other circumstances, you would probably judge him, but now you can only be grateful that you haven’t been expelled. Eventually, you find a bench, sit down, and open your laptop. You log back on to Wattpad and begin a new story, with a newfound motivation: Spongebob and Squidward: A Tale of Enemies to Lovers.

These articles are works of fiction. All quotes are libel and slander.

Mermelstein

Tips for Returning to Stuy!

By VINCENT D'ANGELO and ALEX ZHENG

When one wakes up to the sound of an alarm for the first time after break, they are overcome with an immense wave of melancholy, reminded of all of those horrible past mornings when they were forced to begin this same way. This, my friend, the transition back from break, is the ultimate test of our spirits. But we shall not be broken! The rest of this article contains some tried-and-tested tips—keys to success, if you will—that will keep you fighting during these terrible, terrible times.

1. Rely On Your Friends For Help

One of the perks of not being a secluded recluse is that there are people around you willing to lend a helping hand. If things get too tough as you struggle to find your way back into the Stuy groove of thangs, make a big deal out of how hard your life is and capitalize on your friends’ oozing sympathy glands to get the homework answers you need. If your answ— friends still choose to not give you what you want (or more accurately, what you need), shame them for being not just terrible companions but also terrible human beings, and they’ll most likely come around. I mean, let’s be honest: why did you befriend them in the first place? Remember: at Stuyvesant, every time you begin a new “friendship,” think of it more like a financial investment than anything of real emotional significance.

2.

Stress Eat

Remember how yummy all that holiday food was? Remember how safe it made you feel and all of the positive experiences that you now associate with it? Well, there you have it!

To return to that happy place, just stuff your mouth with everything you can get a hold of.

If you’re concerned about how this binge eating will damage your body or your cholesterol levels, do not fret, because Stuyvesant’s extremely rigorous and physically demanding physical education program will surely force us back into shape, right? You know how a bear eats and drinks nonstop in the fall to prepare for hibernation?

Think of this time like a bear’s autumn: If you eat a lot now, then when finals season rears its ugly head, you can spend all day studying like a good Stuy child instead of doing other basically unnecessary things like eating.

3. Stage a Coup D’état Look, I get it. Sometimes Stuy can drive a man or woman to X-treme measures. If you really can’t take it anymore, if the workload is just too much to handle straight back from a winter break, then gather up all the like-minded peers you can find and seize control for yourself.

Who even gave the teachers this right to control your every action? If this institution was truly just, the students would be able to determine their workload and their leaders. If the current leaders won’t allow you this right, then I say we take it for ourselves! ¡Viva la revolución!

Skye McArthur / The Spectator

RAHHHHHH!

4. Shop!

Indulge yourself before the next period of school! Go buy yourself something good! It doesn’t matter whether you’re

that lights up when you squish it? Remember: whatever poor financial decisions you make, just blame it on the New Year, and no one will judge :). Okay, maybe not “no one,” but not us at least, and isn’t the validation

fortitude and willpower rivaling that of the event that occurs in November or maintaining a good sleep schedule. Here we have collected some really simple ones to get you started on your own DIY resolution list. Easy resolutions: participate once in class, get halal cart once a week, survive the cafeteria food. Medium difficulty: finish your homework before class every day or remember to bring your PE clothes to class.

Extremely difficult resolutions (attempt at your own risk): become a billionaire, don’t write an English essay/Spectator article the hour before the deadline, don’t cram for an entire test the night beforehand, get enough sleep, confess to your crush, have tea with Elon Musk, go to the Olympics for modern pentathlon, fly a Lockheed SR71 Black Bird over the Crimean Peninsula… Okay, the last few might be a tad fantastical, but these should just be getting the cogs in your head turning for your own lists.

Let us all come together to mourn the end of another long-awaited and much-deserved break. Moment of silence, please… Welcome back to school! Mark your calendars with the next break! The next objective is in sight, my good ladies and gents! Trudge onward!

purchasing a new bag of Muji pens and notebooks or you’re restocking your caffeine supply.

Fill up that Amazon shopping cart with all the goodies imaginable. Remember that blending water bottle you saw on TikTok? Or that wonderful duck lamp

of two random junior writers in the Humor Department of a high school newspaper all you need?

5. Make Resolutions

Ah yes, New Year’s Resolutions: the true test of mental

Home Alone 3: Stuck in Stuyvesant

By DANIELLA SOLOMON

“Attention, students who are still inside the building, it is now five o’clock, meaning that you must leave the building. Since it’s break, we’re locking up early. Goodbye and have a great winter break!” The PA system blares, awakening you from your restful slumber in the library. Who knew that antibacterial wipe containers made such good pillows? You stretch your arms, accidentally hitting a librarian circulating the room.

“Excuse you!” The librarian intones (in a library voice, of course). “Please try to keep your hands to yourself!” He walks away, muttering, “Ugh, must be the hormones.” Then again, he is devilishly handsome.

Ignoring his comments, you realize how tired you still are and succumb to sleep for 10 more minutes until you are woken up by the sound of your book falling onto the floor. You must have pushed it off while you were sleeping. After looking around quickly, you realize that nobody seems too alarmed by the sound, because no one is there. Surely I don’t stink that bad, you reason. Since I figured out how to do my homework while showering, I’ve been as clean as could be! You step

outside of the library, looking for any sign of intelligent life forms. Cafeteria food on the Sophomore Bar? Nope. Moans emanating from the Hudson Stairwell? None. The distinct scent of human tears wafting from the 7th floor? I don’t think so.

Suddenly, it hits you. You whisper, “I made every person in Stuyvesant disappear.” You yell it: “I MADE THEM DISAPPEAR!”

Immediately, you make a mad dash to the place you’ve always wanted to check out: Principal Yu’s office. Upon arrival, you find that the bookcase on the back wall can be pushed and serves as an entrance to a second chamber. Stuyvesant Time in Confinement, or STC, is engraved into the stone doorway. You bravely venture down the winding staircase, keeping your steps quiet in case Principal Yu enjoys visiting his prisoners. As you reach the end of the stairs, you see one prison cell in the middle of the room with four sets of bars for maximum security. It is outfitted with simple furnishings: an iron bed frame and a similar desk, upon which is a test, an accompanying scantron, and a pencil. Then, of course, there’s the prisoner herself: a girl who looks about 18, taking

the test on the desk. You realize that there is a label on the cell, which reads: “The senior who pulled the fire alarm during finals week last year. Sentenced for the rest of her life to retake the final she tried to avoid.”

Horrified, you run back up the stairs, out of fear that Principal Yu will have another cell built for you; your list of transgressions won’t even fit on a label!

Once you’ve caught your breath, you decide to move on to your next order of business—as there’s absolutely no time to waste—and the next adventure will take a while. You have decided to journey where none have journeyed before: the first-floor bathrooms. You take the agonizingly long descent to the first floor, which is weirdly quiet. To your surprise, great white tufts float around as the bathroom door swings open. Is it snowing in here? you wonder. But it’s not snow: It’s the dust that reaches your knees as you wade through it. You resemble Santa Claus walking through snow on Christmas, except with far less fabulous facial hair! You also find that the paper towels somehow look even older than usual—as though they’ve been there since 1993.

You’re drawn away from

your cynical thoughts on Stuyvesant’s custodial practices when you hear a pounding coming from the first-floor entrance. No one uses that entrance, you think, so it can’t be a Stuyvesant student, can it? Since Stuyvesant is basically your house now (what a nightmarish notion!), you run over to answer the door.

Standing in the doorway are two Brooklyn Tech students, easily recognizable by the dark circles under their eyes from trying in vain to compete with Stuy kids. “We’re here to fix the 7-9 escalator,” they say in their best (pretty bad) escalator repairman impression. An evil grin crosses your face as you realize what kind of opportunity has fallen into your lap. It’s clear that they’re here for one reason: to steal Stuyvesant’s secrets. Of course, there’s nothing to steal, as we all know that the “secret” is the innate ability to willingly suffer. Still, you should have a little fun with them while they’re here.

“Excellent. I was looking for some good ENGINEERS like yourselves!” you say cheerfully, delighting as you see the looks of horror on their faces as you mention their laughable mascot. “But before you get to work, how about you sit down with me and have a snack in the

Remember the good times during break and use those memories as your fuel to make it to the next one! Together, we will conquer these terrible, terrible times. Good luck, and we’ll see you then!

cafeteria?”

“Um, sure,” they answer, unused to such kindness due to the foul demeanors of their classmates.

You bring out the “food”: last week’s stock of spongetextured pizzas. Exhausted from their journey (they walked all the way here in hopes of looking “athletic”), they gobble it up and almost immediately clamp their hands over their mouths.

“The nearest bathroom is in the locker rooms!” you say, feigning urgency as they run off, trying to avoid food poisoning and a face full of vomit.

You can sit back now; once they walk into that locker room, they’ll be trapped. Each row looks exactly the same, and there are mirrors everywhere— it’s a labyrinth, but with B.O. (why else did you think we have to take a test to get in here?). They’ll be lucky to make it out of there before break ends, and that’s if they don’t faint from the scent. So, did they get their Stuyvesant secrets? Yup. They learned that there’s a reason they don’t attend this school: Not just anyone can make it out of the locker rooms! And now that they’re occupied there, you can begin your next conquest: the colonization of the fifthfloor roof!

UNCOVERED SPY REPORT ABOUT STUYSQUAD!!!

By FREDA DONG and KAREN CHEN

Friday, January 13, 2023 Report #42

To our supreme Lords and Saviors, the Humor Gods: Here are the reports we received from the StuySquad Investigation Team.

Flow, the crew with LED props divided into four subsections, may seem like an innocent community, but their capacity for mass destruction and violence is undeniable. Recently, there has been a fight between the stringers, who spin glowsticks on shoelace strings, and the staffers, who twirl batons. The stringers have a weekly ritual where they place their glowsticks in the formation of a magic circle, hoping to summon the ghost of Peter Stuyvesant so that he can steal shoelaces. However, the staffers refused to be left shoelace-less, so they dropped their batons on top of the glowsticks, ruining the summoning circle. The stringers threatened to offer staffers as sacrifices for the ghost of Stuyvesant, and staffers responded by using their batons as swords to

jab stringers, who smacked the staffers with their glowsticks, resulting in all-out war.

Flip-floppers, flow’s specialized section of hip-hop dancers, carried on with their training as wannabe Asian moms learning how to use flip-flops disguised as glowsticks. To become Asian children’s ultimate shoulder devil, prospective flip-floppers do a dance move called “whacks” with different variations to invent new methods for abusing children.

As you know, agents infiltrating various pop music groups are all part of Operation Sneak-Into-Pops due to the small member size of each group. Half of the Pops (coed K-Pop, Girls K-Pop, and C-Pop) spend 25 hours a day trying to copy the way their favorite idols dance. They become maniacs when anyone makes the tiniest insult toward the loves of their lives, and this has unfortunately cost us a few agents who were unable to keep their mouths shut. The hip-hop crews even had to be separated into boys’ and girls’ sections because they could not agree on whether Kayne West or Cardi B was the better role model. However, what ties the Pops together is that

they believe in perfect choreography. They make members who do not meet their expectations dance while kneeling on the floor, thus breaking their kneecaps to beat the weakness out of them.

Modern is one of the more “normal” crews, even though their habit of crying over sad pop songs makes them seem like masochists. They have a strange fixation on sweeping with their pants and spending a weird amount of time rolling around on the floor. Modern dancers can bend their bodies in unnatural ways, performing splits that should break their bones. With their inhuman behavior, we are sure that modern dancers are actually aliens, but Agent Butterfly insists that they are humans. She is less willing to give us details in her reports and began missing her deadlines. We suspect that Agent Butterfly is falling under the thrall of the aliens and that she will soon be a lost cause.

Unfortunately, word has been received that Operation Sneak-Into-Latin will soon join Operation Sneak-Into-Bolly in failure. Agent Penguin has sent his last report, which included his suspicions of being cut from Latin soon. The agent’s

poor attempts at body rolls make him look like his namesake. Agent Penguin is also unable to pass the questionable flirting test and does not have enough strength to throw girls into the air as sacrifices to the Roman gods. The Latin crew leaders have had enough of Agent Penguin stepping on his partner’s feet one too many times, and it is only a matter of time until the agent is terminated. May our esteemed Lords and Saviors, the Humor Gods, guide Agent Penguin to an afterlife free of never-ending homework and evil teachers.

Step is the most suspicious of all the crews. We discovered that their systematic stomps and claps are actually a secret code known only to step members. They have planted their own spies within the students and staff of Stuyvesant, and their dances are a way to communicate instructions and information nonverbally—a sort of Morse code. From what we gathered, step seems to have a plan to betray the other dance crews, stealing the spotlight on show day and “taking total control and subjugating the other dance crews mwahahaha.” We are still uncertain as to what that means or how that

Santa Yu Defeats the Grinch

By MICHELLE HUANG

Tonight is no ordinary Christmas Eve for Principal Yu. Then again, no Christmas Eve is ordinary for him. During the day, Principal Yu may be the mild-mannered Stuyvesant High School principal, but once a year he gears up in his red and white outfit and giddy-ups his sleigh. Yes, Principal Yu is Santa Claus. Every December 24, he commits millions of counts of breaking and entering, spreads joy, and gifts children presents created with morally gray labor practices. This year, however, Santa Yu has a goal he must accomplish. Every Christmas, a Grinch has been following him across the globe and stealing the gifts that he worked so hard to deliver. Santa Yu has never been able to catch them—until now. With advanced technology created by our very own Robotics team, Yu has managed to plant a tracker on the Grinch. Tonight, Santa Yu hunts.

Santa Yu follows the tracker to a home in Ohio. After quietly parking his sleigh on the roof, he slips down the chimney, drops down into the living room, and watches. Under the soft glow of Christmas tree lights, he sees a tall, green, wrinkly figure snatching boxes of presents: the Grinch.

As Yu watches, the Grinch drops the gifts into a burlap bag, and a soft

“ka-ching” echoes like a cash register. The Grinch begins to cover the top of the Christmas tree with his bag—

“Stop this at once!” His voice booms. Donning his long, white beard (a fake one since Yu tragically cannot grow his own), Santa Yu steps out of the fireplace. The Grinch turns to him and smiles.

“Santa Claus. I see you’ve finally come to stop me.” Wait, why does the Grinch’s voice sound…somewhat familiar? It must be nothing. Yu would never consort with such a villain.

“Yes, I am here. After years of my life, plagued by your presence, I can finally save Christmas. I can finally get rid of YOU!”

He lunges at the Grinch, ready to defeat him with the magic of violence. Santa Yu tackles the Grinch, taking him down to the ground. They fistfight. Santa Yu grabs at the Grinch’s head and pulls. The green skin of the Grinch tears away, but it turns out to not be skin at all. Santa Yu holds a green rubber mask in his hands. He pauses, shocked, and in that moment, the Grinch strikes at Santa Yu, clawing at his chin. The glue Santa Yu uses for his fake beard tears away in the Grinch’s hand. Their faces are uncovered. The two stare at each other, their true identities revealed.

“PRINCIPAL YU OF

STUYVESANT HIGH SCHOOL?”

“DAVID COLEMAN, CEO OF THE COLLEGE BOARD?”

Rather than a horrifying green monster, Yu is faced with a horrifying human monster. Shocked, he asks, “Why are you following me around the world stealing presents? Haven’t you had enough of torturing me—I mean, children?”

Coleman gets to his feet, laughing. His eyes glow red. “I will never have enough of torturing children, Principal Yu. I love it when I see a student’s SAT answer sheets stained with tears, or when their PSAT score is in the hundreds. Their pain is divine. Being the Grinch means I can finally expand my tortured demographic to include elementary school children as well. Isn’t that delightful?”

“Torturing elementary school children? At least I torture people who can read—”

“Plus, there’s something else I get,” Coleman continues. He pulls out a wad of cash from the bag as a malevolent grin spreads across his face. “Money,” he says. “I can pawn these expensive gifts and make even more money. The millions I get from APs and SATs taken by students every year aren’t enough.” He fans his face with the benjamins and winks at Principal Yu. “See, you’re working overtime, too. Everyone has a side hustle, you know.”

“But now I know your secret,” Santa Yu retorts. Coleman shrugs.

“So what? Everyone already knows I’m evil incarnate. They’ll simply shrug it off. Nothing will be done about it, Principal Yu. I am unstoppable.” Santa Yu listens as Coleman continues his villain monologue. How can he stop such a monster? What could be the weakness of someone so powerful?

Santa Yu has worked with this monster before. He has, of course, been pumping thousands of dollars into this villain’s pockets for AP courses in order to improve his own school. He has only exacerbated the problem. What if he uses that now, to save Christmas and to give Stuyvesant a little academic boost?

“Coleman, what if I… give you another way to torture children and make money? A way that doesn't ruin my Christmas plans?”

Coleman pauses. He is intrigued. “I am listening.”

“I’m sure your evil knows no bounds. You have a set of AP courses to unveil, but you need to test them. Why don’t you test them out at Stuy? You’ll make millions. And if you want to torture children, make them available to freshmen. They’ll eat them up.”

“But why?”

“Stuy will look so much more popular that way. Offering new, never-before-seen AP courses and

will happen. Rest assured that we will continue doing our best to figure out the cipher of step.

The initial goal of the investigation was to discover the true purpose of StuySquad and the reason why all these different styles will consolidate into StuySquad. Based on all the reports we have received, StuySquad is a cult in the making, with cutthroat policies and dangerous practices. They cleverly disguise themselves as an innocent group of dancers working their hardest to bring mesmerizing performances to the school. In reality, StuySquad will collectively hypnotize all of Stuyvesant with their sexy dances on show day. Do not be fooled by the beautiful choreography! The StuySquad Board will take control from the administration and run the entire school, while crew leaders will establish their tyranny in the territories they claim, forcing the homerooms in their respective territories to practice their dance style until the end of time as a tribute to their dance gods.

Agents Dolphin and Pig Heads of the StuySquad Investigation Team

education? Maybe we’ll finally surpass Townsend Harris in the rankings! Our popularity would also entice more students to come to our school, thereby forcing them to take more APs. You’ll make a profit too!”

Coleman faces Yu. The red light in his eyes has dimmed. He looks almost agreeable. “What’s in it for you?”

“Leave Christmas alone. Let me do my side hustle in peace.”

Coleman pauses, considering the option. Then he extends a green, furry hand to Yu. They shake hands.

***SIX MONTHS LATER***

The incoming class of 2027 rush to their brand new Talos accounts on June 12, 2023. AP course selections have opened for the next year, and Principal Yu just announced a slew of new courses that the College Board is launching at Stuyvesant. They’re so excited to finally take an AP course for the first time.

They log on and see a huge dropdown menu of options. They’ve never heard of classes like this before. AP Calculus CD? AP Physical Organic Chemistry Z? AP Defenestration? They’re not even sure what that last word means, but it looks cool!

Principal Yu watches from his computer as course choices flood in, and section after section of these new AP courses are chosen. He smiles. Christmas is safe.

Stuyvesant Shares New Year’s Resolutions for 2023

By MICHELLE HUANG

2023 has darkened our doorsteps. People everywhere are once again setting unreasonable expectations for themselves, sugarcoating them as resolutions and attempting to improve their ultimately futile lives. We asked Stuyvesant students, faculty, and inanimate objects for their 2023 resolutions this year. Feel free to use this as a checklist and see how many are broken within the first week of 2023.

“My goal this year is to have a perfect 4.0 GPA. I spent the whole first semester refining my foolproof study plan, going to every single AIS session, and training myself to survive on three hours of sleep every night. I have become the ultimate student. No test will stand in my way. I will— hold on, AP Chemistry scores just

dropped? The class average was a 70? I got a WHAT?” —Rita Lin, sophomore, who asserts that her name is just a coincidence and not indicative of any actual behav iors

2023, I’m not stepping back into Stuyvesant. I’m leaving. I don’t care if it gets me fired. I’m not going in there. I have suffered for endless hours in that building, trying to do the impossible and keep all the escalators in that building working. I can’t do this anymore. I’m going to be happy in 2023!” —An escalator

repairman’s last words before he fled the building, never to be seen

“My goals for 2023 aren’t too unrealistic. I just hope to not catch fire like my friend at Brooklyn Tech. Tragic what happened, although setting me ablaze would be a great way for a student to get out of a test.” —Toilet in the secondfloor girls’ bathroom that can

“This year, I have an ambitious resolution— no, mission. I plan to venture up to the 11th floor to confirm

the pool’s existence. So many upperclassmen have been mocking me whenever I bring up our savior, the pool—they always say it is merely a joke. They even tore down the shrine I dedicated to it! I do not believe them. My dedication to the holy pool deity will not waver. I will find the truth!”

—Dora Explorer, freshman and self-described “pool worshipper”

“I resolve to be more focused on my career this year and less focused on BTS. While I love my boys and will always be a staunch ARMY, I’m concerned that my love for BTS overshadows all other aspects of my life. My paycheck is eaten away by the cost of their albums. Spending so much time watching their beautiful performances is hindering my performance at work. I need to stop. It shouldn’t be too hard to accomplish this goal! I just have

to not think about how Jin is enlisted in the military, and how he shaved off all his lovely silky hair, and how my baby fake maknae is going off to war, and the fact that my seven beautiful boys won’t make music or be together for another two years…” —Principal Yu, who was visibly distraught and began sobbing after making this statement

“This year, I resolve not to make any more jokes about broken escalators, AP Chemistry, or the 11th floor. They’re overused and, frankly, not funny anymore. I can do better as a writer.” —anonymous Spectator Humor writer, who has resolved for the last six years to get a girlfriend

Whether or not you’ve made New Year’s resolutions for yourselves, The Spectator Humor department wishes you a miserable 2023!

By MAYA BROSNICK

As the MLB offseason comes to a close, the differences in teams’ payrolls are starker than ever before. For most professional sports, the offseason is the time for teams to sign free agents and make trades with other teams. In that respect, baseball is no exception, but the contracts for players look very different. In the NFL, the projected salary cap for 2023 is about $225 million, which means that a team cannot pay its players more than $225 million combined. That number might sound like a lot, but in baseball, the largest projected payroll is that of the New York Mets at $384 million. The reason that the Mets’ payroll is so high is that the MLB does not have a formal salary cap. It only has a luxury tax.

The luxury tax was established in 2002. It ensures that a figure is set every year and that any team whose payroll exceeds that figure has to pay a percentage of the excess money. That percentage is dependent on how far over the figure the team goes. The 2023 luxury tax

Boys’ Gymnastics

Put a Cap on Our National Pastime?

was set at $233 million, so the Mets are $151 million over. As it stands, when taking into account the tax, the Mets will be paying $495 million dollars this season. The previous record was less than $350 million. The New York Yankees will also likely be paying a significant amount in luxury tax, along with the Philadelphia Phillies, San Diego Padres, and Los Angeles Dodgers.

On the other end of the spectrum are teams like the Pittsburgh Pirates and the Oakland A’s. The Pirates will go into 2023 with a payroll of $58.2 million. The A’s have one worth $49.5 million. The Mets spent more on a single deal than the Pirates have spent since 2010.

Evidently, there is a huge disparity between the top and bottom ends of the league, but is that disparity a problem for baseball as a sport? On one hand, payroll size is not automatically equal to a World Series ring. On the other, having the money to pay the best players can make a huge difference. Should there be a salary cap implemented in order to level the playing field?

One argument against a salary cap is that the owners are all billionaires who could spend just as much on their teams if they wanted. The A’s are owned by John Fisher, who is worth $2.2 billion. His team is valued by Forbes at $1.18 billion. He could easily spend more to get a few star players. It is true that Mets owner Steve Cohen is worth $16 billion, but if Fisher wanted to put winning first, he could.

A salary cap would potentially stop large-market teams from signing all the best players and effectively buying the World Series. However, the Mets haven’t won since 1986, while smaller market teams like the Houston Astros and the Kansas City Royals (the latter of which beat the Mets in the World Series in 2015) have. Still, many of the big-market teams make it to the playoffs year after year, even if they don’t make it all the way.

Many of the fans who are pushing for a salary cap are doing so in the hopes that it will make the game fairer for smallmarket teams, but in truth, it doesn’t need to be. Baseball

hasn’t had a repeat winner since the 1999 and 2000 Yan-

ary cap would accomplish is the reduction of players’ salaries.

kees. In the NBA, three teams have gone back to back, and in the NHL, two have. Only nine MLB teams have not made it to the playoffs in the last five seasons. The only thing that a sal-

The Lemurs: Champions Once More?

By JOSEPH KIM

The “championship hangover” is a well-documented phenomenon. All too often, a team reaches the pinnacle of their sport, only to witness their players experience a severe dropoff in performance during the following season. We all remember the historic falloffs of the 2002 Patriots, the 2014 Red Sox, and many more. With this in mind, all rival teams’ eyes are set on the defending PSAL gymnastics champions, the Lemurs, Stuyvesant’s boys’ team, and anticipating their downfall. However, the Lemurs are determined to not let that be the case and hope to achieve the same success as their record-breaking prior season and maintain their title as PSAL champions.

Under the guidance of Coach Marvin Autry, who has over 20 years of coaching experience, as well as senior captains Andrew Poon and Alif Rahman and junior captain Kohl Shepherd, the Lemurs are in good hands.

Rahman prides himself on being a mentor and leader. “It’s seeing the kid you were mentoring finally get the skill. [Our] main goal is to foster the development of the underclassmen in our team,” Rahman said when asked about what the most rewarding aspect of being a captain is.

Some gymnasts, such as sophomore Austin Liu, have seen significant growth in their vault and floor routines and achieved the back handspring after months of training. “Every day, [Liu] just spams the backspring and keeps getting better,” junior Chester Lam said.

With 16 members, the Lemurs boast the largest roster since their return from COVID-19 shutdowns. The Lemurs sport an upperclassman-heavy roster with over three quarters of the team being either a senior or junior. However, the vast majority of the team had minimal experience coming into this season,

would be able to maintain their City Championship title. “I was pretty unsure if we were gonna be able to hold our PSAL champions title after last year’s captains graduated,” Rahman said. However, these doubts were erased after the Lemurs finished in second place at their first meet, which featured talented

on their next meet at Fiorello H. LaGuardia High School, a longtime division rival, with hopes of an even stronger performance.

The Lemurs go into practice every day with the intention of fine-tuning their routines and constantly improving. Members of the team described their dedication to the sport as “borderline

While some argue that a salary cap would help level the playing field, the playing field doesn’t need leveling, and even if it did, a salary cap wouldn’t be the solution.

with just six returning members from the previous championship season. “We have a new group of kids who have never done gymnastics before and we’re trying to get them into the routine, and it’s tough getting them up to speed,” Autry said.

Nevertheless, Shepherd continues to have faith in his team. “I know what my team can do and I know what the other teams can do and I know what we need to do to do better than them,” Shepherd said. Shepherd maintains his confidence in his teammates, regardless of their inexperience. There’s no doubt in his mind that the Lemurs can be the best team in the PSAL as long as they stay dedicated.

Regardless of Shepherd’s faith, the inexperience of the team generated doubts about whether or not the Lemurs

competition from schools such as LaGuardia, Tottenville, and Long Island City. “There were definitely some rough spots, but overall the new kids handled it pretty well and almost everyone got to compete,” Shepherd said. Poon finished with a score of 8.1 points on the vault event, the highest of 20 other competitors. Rahman also managed a score of 4.5 points on the pommel horse event, the fourth-highest score posted on the event at the meet. Despite their best efforts, the Lemurs were unable to come out on top, falling just half a point shy of securing first. Though the outcome wasn’t what they hoped for, this early performance gave them much needed confidence going forward and proved that they could compete with the best. With this renewed confidence, the Lemurs set their sights

obsessive” as they meticulously perform each skill. “We practice more than any other team in the league, and even though we may not have the most strength or flexibility, we work hard and play smart. I think that we have the ability to win two years in a row, even having lost two of our best guys, because of the amount of work we put in,” Shepherd said.

Hours of devotion to specific strength moves such as press handstands and V-sits, as well as to events such as parallel bars, pommel horse, and floor routine, have paid off. “Kids who’ve never done gymnastics in their life are getting front and back handsprings,” Autry said.

The value of each repetition has become more apparent than ever before due to the Lemurs sharing the same facilities in the third floor gym’s extension with

the Felines, Stuyvesant’s girls’ gymnastics team. While questions of overcrowding have surfaced, both teams have been able to overcome these issues by alternating equipment with each other. “For example, we set up uneven bars [for] women’s gymnastics events one day and the next day we set up high bars [for] men’s gymnastics events,” Lam said.

Though some may believe that this dynamic is stunting their development, the Lemurs see it as an opportunity to improve. The Lemurs and Felines have fostered a symbiotic relationship, advising each other on their routines and spotting one another.

Practicing on women’s event equipment such as the uneven bars has allowed the Lemurs to expand their ever growing arsenal of skills and keep practices feeling fresh. “We kind of use each other’s events to practice for our own event,” Lam said.

In addition, these joint-practices have fostered a real bond between the two teams as they work side-by-side with the same goal in mind. “I’ve seen a couple of guys who are close with the girls. The underclassmen, especially, this year are all super close,” Lam said.

With expectations as high as they are, anything short of a stellar post-season performance would be a debacle. As the Lemurs head into the latter half of their season with dreams of obtaining yet another PSAL Championship banner, they continue to improve and perfect their routines. “With how hard we’ve worked, I think we have a real chance at a championship,” said Autry.

Chuer Zhong / The Spectator

“We practice more than any other team in the league, and even though we may not have the most strength or flexibility, we work hard and play smart. I think that we have the ability to win two years in a row, even having lost two of our best guys, because of the amount of work we put in.” —Kohl Shepherd, junior and co-captain

Boys’ Table Tennis

By CHRISTOPHER CHOE

A ping pong ball, the size of a small egg, is hit at 25 mph, and one is expected to hit it back with precise accuracy onto a small table. The Goats, Stuyvesant’s boys’ varsity table tennis team, play this intense, difficult sport as they look to bounce back this season after their 2022 City Championship loss to Brooklyn Tech. The Goats plan to overcome any obstacles (and nets) to score that winning point and lift the trophy.

Coming into this season, the Goats faced many challenges— the foremost of which was COVID. Many players missed practices because of COVID, which impacted the team negatively. “We couldn’t practice as much, and we got really rusty,” senior and co-captain Ian Denis said. However, the team overcame this obstacle with the incorporation of new players. This year, the team has brought in seven new faces. Of these new members, freshman Andrew Tang has been doing exceptionally well. Despite being new to the team, he already has his spot as second singles and has won 10 out of 13 sets this season. Andrew Tang and other promising new players bring new energy to the team, boosting their confidence and allowing them to overcome the obstacle that was COVID.

With great reinforcements, the Goats are off to a strong start as they began their season with three quick consecutive wins.

Soccer

The Goats Set Their Eyes on the Playoffs

Against BCAM High School and the Institute for Collaborative Education, the team gained free points due to early forfeits. The Goats faced their first official match against Graphics Campus on December 5. The team dominated in all five matches, ending each with a 3-0 sweep. However, this streak quickly ended when they faced off against their long-time division rivals and reigning champions, the Brooklyn Tech Engineers.

The Goats had a shaky start as their first singles player, senior and co-captain Max Yenlee, lost by a close margin of 10-12 in the first two matches and 11-3 in the final match, giving the Engineers a point. Things started to look good when Andrew Tang won his first match with a score of 11-8. However, the Engineers came back and won the next two sets with close scores of 11-9 and 11-10. Andrew Tang needed to win the fourth set to keep the game going, but he narrowly lost the match by four points. Up 2-0, the Engineers seized their momentum and handed the Goats their first defeat of the season.

The Goats were able to quickly bounce back with two massive wins against BCAM and Graphics Campus, with the doubles teams, in particular, crushing their opponents. Then came the big match of the season against the John Jay Campus Jaguars.

The Goats had to win this game to continue their rising momentum into the playoffs.

This opportunity for the

Goats turned out to be a wakeup call for the team. The match started off with senior and cocaptain Jialin Yang suffering a 3-0 loss, putting the Goats on their heels. Things turned for the worse when the first doubles team also lost their match 3-0 without scoring above seven in a single game. This caused all the attention to go to the third singles match. With a first-set defeat of 7-11, senior Tedd Lee needed to bounce back in order to keep the team’s hopes alive. He did just that with an 11-7 win in the second set, but things went downhill soon, as Lee lost the next two sets, both with scores of 4-11. With three losses, the Goats had suffered their second official defeat, but the games were not over just yet. Yenlee put up a strong fight against his first singles matchup, eventually losing the final match with a margin of just two points. The last game, second doubles, seemed like a tough matchup when sophomores Jackie Zeng and Brandon Tang were substituted in due to an absence of starters. Yet both put in a great performance to claim the first set with an 11-4 win. After that, the game went into total chaos as both teams took a set until the score was 2-2 in the fourth set.

The duo played the game with determination and fought to the end. With the last smash of the game, the duo ended up winning 11-9. The final score was a 4-1 loss.

Despite the defeat, the team

used the experience to learn from their mistakes. One main reason they had struggled was due to the absence of starting players. “This is a huge obstacle for the team. When starters don’t show up to games due to academic reasons, it messes up the whole lineup,” Coach Manuel Simon said. With two starting players, sophomore Vedant Kothari and freshman Andrew Tang, having missed the game against John Jay Campus, the team had to fill those holes with other members like Zeng and Brandon Tang. Despite the sophomores’ relative inexperience with official matches, they pulled off a great win to get the Goats on the scoreboard.

The problem was with the other lineups. Lee had to play third singles despite being a doubles player. “If one person is not here, the rest of the team has to play someone harder than who they normally play,” Yenlee said.

The team still showed their chemistry and teamwork throughout the game. “Our greatest strength is having a great team bond. Everyone on our team is not only teammates, but friends outside of the team, so that is what makes us work so well together during the game,” Denis said. The unity that this team has is what makes it so successful. “This team brings a sense of family; just watching them grow and develop and push each other on is what makes this team so special,” Simon said.

In addition to their outstanding chemistry, the Goats also

January Transfer Gossip

By JACK CAO

At midnight on Sunday, January 1, the January transfer window officially opened. Subsequently, the world’s biggest clubs started making moves to boost their squads for the second half of the 2022-23 season. Some stellar signings have already been made, such as Liverpool’s purchase of electric Dutch winger Cody Gakpo for around €45 million and Al Nassr’s free acquisition of Cristiano Ronaldo. However, there is still plenty of time left for clubs to make groundbreaking deals that could alter the course of 2023 club competition. Here are the most exciting rumors about who’s going where circulating around the soccer world:

Mykhailo Mudryk to Arsenal

Following the injury of their main striker Gabriel Jesus that will sideline the Brazilian for up to three months, Arsenal are on the hunt for a replacement to spearhead their Premier League title challenge this season—a hunt that has, surprisingly, led them to Ukraine.

According to Italian journalist Fabrizio Romano, the current leaders of the Premier League are looking toward Ukrainian winger Mykhailo Mudryk as a suitable reinforcement for their attack, and have already submitted two separate bids for the 22-year-old. At Shakhtar Donetsk, he has terrorized the left side of the pitch

whenever he’s played this season, grabbing 14 goal contributions in the Ukrainian Premier League and scoring three goals for Donetsk in a Champions League group that contained defending champions Real Madrid. However, the problem for Arsenal lies in the ridiculous €100 million price tag that Donetsk has put on their starlet— a risk that is very hard to take, regardless of who the €100 million is paying for.

Enzo Fernández to Chelsea

Having won the World Cup with Argentina in Qatar and being deemed the best young player at that tournament, 21-year-old Enzo Fernández has undoubtedly attracted the attention of Europe’s finest clubs. At the head of this rush are English heavyweights Chelsea, who want to write a new, successful chapter of their long history after having replaced Russian owner Roman Abramovich with American Todd Boehly and sacked coach Thomas Tuchel for the promising Graham Potter. However, the Blues are currently sitting 10th in the Premier League table and are suffering from injuries to many key players, particularly in midfield.

Thus, Enzo Fernández would be a perfect option to solidify and inject quality into that area of weakness. The Argentine midfielder is very comfortable with the ball under pressure, and though he is a defensive player, he has the vision to orchestrate attacks with

nice, long passes into the final third. Defensively, Enzo is aggressive, gritty, and a hard tackler—a welcome change for any Chelsea fan who has had to watch the passive and shaky performances of Jorginho recently. That being said, it will be difficult for Chelsea to pry Enzo away from his current club Benfica at this moment in time due to his €120 million release clause, which the Blues cannot afford lest they risk breaching financial fairness regulations.

Pedro Porro to Tottenham Hotspur

Just like Chelsea, Tottenham Hotspur are also suffering from inconsistency. However, in their case, defending has been the main concern as they have conceded at least two goals in every Premier League game they have played since late October. So, it was no surprise when European tabloids revealed that Spurs were sniffing around Sporting Lisbon’s Pedro Porro as a replacement for the below-average performances of Emerson Royal and Matt Doherty.

A 23-year-old Spanish international, Porro would suit the system of Spurs coach Antonio Conte perfectly as he could be deployed as a right wingback who could run up and down the right side of the pitch relentlessly to support his team’s attack and defense. Along with his pace, Porro is also a great passer with both feet and an excellent playmaker, as evidenced by his average of six big chances created

per match, according to Sofascore. Defensively, Porro is as good a tackler as any other defender, and his pace allows him to track down any tricky wingers. As confirmed by Romano, Sporting Lisbon will be hesitant to let this type of quality go in January, which may well mean that Spurs will be forced to pay up the full €45 million release clause in Porro’s contract or wait until the season ends.

Illan Meslier to Bayern Munich

After captain and storied goalkeeper Manuel Neuer suffered a season-ending injury while on vacation, German juggernauts Bayern Munich began scouting for another shot-stopper for the rest of the campaign. The Bavarian boardroom was originally between two options: signing the experienced Yann Sommer from Bundesliga rivals Borussia Mönchengladbach or recalling Alexander Nübel from his loan in France at AS Monaco. However, negotiations between Bayern and Mönchengladbach for Sommer are currently very tense and complicated. In addition, AS Monaco is very hesitant to let the promising Nübel go back to his parent club, especially considering that his loan deal of two seasons has not run its course. That said, Bayern are not out of choices, as they discovered a possible alternative in Leeds United’s shot-stopper Illan Meslier.

At 22 years of age, Meslier

boast an intense practice routine. “Usually, our practice routine is to practice one specific shot, whether it is backhand, forehand, or serve, to maximize our skills, then we play practice games against each other,” Yenlee said. This routine emphasizes techniques that are commonly employed in-game. Since table tennis is such a sensitive sport, the players need to maximize their techniques, and this is where the intense training comes in.

With the addition of the new members, some of the more experienced members are trying to coach and introduce them to the sport and the team. “We spend a lot of time helping the new members get better since a lot of times, they are completely new to the game. We try to make sure that the new members get to know everyone on the team so that they don’t feel shy,” Yenlee said. These new recruits show how desperate the team is to go far in the season this year after coming just shy of championships last season. Currently sitting second in their division, the Goats are consistently working to minimize mistakes and hone their skills to finally get their hands on the first-place trophy.

“Our final goal is the City Championship, and this year, we’re going to win it,” Simon said. After they win the City Championship, just like the start and end of every game, the Goats hope to say their final “one, two, three, Stuy!”

holds the record as the youngest goalkeeper in Premier League history to start 50 games. In each of those, he has displayed consistency characteristic of veteran keepers. The 6’6” Frenchman possesses great reflexes and his young age means that he still has a lot of time to develop. He is comfortable in big games, as shown by his man-of-the-match performance against Liverpool this season to help Leeds win and pull themselves out of the relegation zone. However, the issue for Bayern with pursuing this signing is the fact that Meslier still has four more seasons in his contract with Leeds meaning it will be very difficult to pry the keeper out of the English club—particularly when he is one of their key assets. Reports also state that the German team will face heavy competition for Meslier’s signature by English counterparts Chelsea and Newcastle United.

The January transfer window is usually associated with desperate panic deals as clubs around the world try desperately to find shortterm solutions to their mid-season problems. However, this window appears to be one to remember as certain big names have already finalized their dream moves with many more to come. The talents mentioned on this list are only the tip of the iceberg as teenage sensations and experienced leaders across the biggest leagues are searching for new endeavors.

Soccer

By ANAS AHMED and TY ANANT

Ten La Liga titles, four UCL trophies, seven Ballon d’Ors, six European Golden Boots, two FIFA World Cup Golden Balls, an Olympic gold medal, and a Copa América trophy. In the history of soccer, many have tried and failed to reach the same level of greatness as the little boy from Rosario: Lionel Messi.

At the age of 11, Messi was diagnosed with a growth hormone deficiency, meaning he would have to pay for special treatment to help him grow. As the son of a poor family of six in Argentina, he was only able to acquire funds to pay for his treatment by playing soccer at Newell’s Old Boys Academy. As time went on, the funds became insufficient and time was ticking until Messi had to give up his love for the sport of soccer. Luckily for the young prospect, word of his paramount skill had gotten out to FC Barcelona, one of the biggest clubs in Europe. With the club’s willingness to offer the future star a contract, Messi and his family left Rosario behind and moved to “Ciudad Condal.” After seeing a few preliminary drills at the FC Barcelona Youth Academy, club executives could not believe how skilled the little boy was, so much so that the technical director at the time, Carles Rexach, offered the 13-year-old Messi a contract on the only piece of paper he had: a napkin. “I decided to sign him on a paper napkin that a waiter gave me because I couldn’t let him get away,” Rexach said. With this, Messi opened the door to the life he had been hoping for since his childhood on the streets of Rosario.

Starting his professional career with the senior club at the age of 17, Messi showed early signs of greatness, playing alongside legends like Ronaldinho and Carles Puyol to bring the team their first Champions League in six years. After a dominant debut season for Messi and Barcelona, Ronaldinho won the Ballon d’Or and had great praise for the club’s youngest star. “This award says I’m the best player in the world, but I’m not even the best player at Barcelona,” Ronaldinho said. From that point on, Messi accumulated accomplishments like no one had before, such as winning the league 10 times, being voted the best player in the world with seven Ballon d’Ors, conquering all of Europe with four Champions League trophies, and racking up goals and assists at an unbelievable pace.

Most notably, during Messi’s 2012 season, which many say was his prime, he totaled the most goals in a calendar year (91), as well as the most goals

The Little Boy from Rosario

plus assists (113). To put that into perspective, Messi scored more goals in 2012 than entire prominent clubs did, some of which included Paris SaintGermain, Manchester United, and Chelsea. With the help of teammates Neymar and Luis Suárez, the trio dubbed “MSN” reigned supreme over European soccer for the next few years, winning seven trophies together, including the 2015 Champions League cup.

Of course, with another one of the all-time greats, Cristiano Ronaldo, playing for rival club Real Madrid, comparisons between the two were inevitable. As both play-

his team defeated Real Madrid in a 3-2 victory.

Though he was successful against Ronaldo for years in La Liga, many argued that Messi could not call himself the GOAT because of his comparative lack of international success with Argentina. With legends like Pelé and Diego Maradona to catch up to in terms of international glory, Messi still had a long way to go before fans could come to an agreement on which of this generation’s stars was greater. Maradona and Messi shared so much in common, from leftfootedness to slight stature to jersey number, that it often felt

Messi announced his retirement from international football, seemingly marking the end to an international career of coming up just short. “I’m taking this decision for me and for the many people who want this. I’ve tried so hard, but I’m leaving without managing it,” Messi said.

As we all know, though, Messi didn’t stay retired for long—and what a comeback it was. In the past few years, Messi and Argentina itself have been on one of the finest international runs of the century. In the summer of 2021, Argentina finally triumphed in the Copa América final over

teams gradually thinned, these stories became more and more prevalent. Messi and his young protégé Julián Álvarez defeated 2018 runner-ups Croatia, while Ronaldo’s Portugal was ousted by Morocco as he watched from the bench for the entirety of the first half. The pressure continued to grow as the final matchup emerged—it would be France, defending champions and Kylian Mbappé’s unstoppable squad, that would kick off against Messi’s Argentina, the team that had everything to prove. Narratives swirled around social media; some said Messi had to win not only for himself or for Argentina, but for his entire generation. It came as no surprise that a record number of people tuned in to watch the final on Sunday, December 18. And on that Sunday morning, half the world saw the greatest World Cup game of all time. After two thrilling halves, which saw Messi and longtime international teammate Ángel Di María each score a goal only to be countered by two of Mbappé’s own, fans could never have expected the extra time that shocked the world. After a goal each from Messi and Mbappé, spectators witnessed a penalty shootout that ended with Argentina’s Gonzalo Montiel scoring the winning kick. This would cap off the storybook career of Lionel Messi, cementing his name as the GOAT. “Lionel Messi, a man who has more than any other decorated our beautiful game… to receive from that game now, its most beautiful decoration. Messi’s meant-tobe moment. His fulfillment. His completion. It is done,” commentator Peter Drury narrated.

ers racked up dominant runs in La Liga and the Champions League, fans across the soccer world debated who was the better of the two. Their legendary duels at Camp Nou in Barcelona or at the Santiago Bernabéu Stadium in Madrid signified their simultaneous greatness, but most agree that Messi had the upper hand in these battles. In games, such as their 2010 matchup, where Barcelona shut out Madrid for a 5-0 victory, and their 2014 thriller, where Messi scored a hattrick to secure a narrow victory for his team, “The Flea” simply dominated. But nothing came close to 2017 when Messi’s iconic jersey celebration was formed by taking it off and lifting it in front of Real Madrid’s fans at the Bernabeu. He and his iconic celebration stole the show after

like Messi could never escape his predecessor’s shadow. This pressure looked almost insurmountable as Messi suffered a string of international defeats in the early 2010s. In fact, after a penalty loss to Uruguay by one misplaced kick in the 2011 Copa América, Messi was booed out of the stadium by his own Argentinian home crowd. Argentinians felt Messi was almost more Catalan than Argentine, having moved to Barcelona at such a young age. On top of that, while he dominated club soccer, his reputation for not being able to win with his national team grew. In 2014, Argentina made it all the way to the World Cup final, facing off against Germany, but suffered a heartbreaking loss in extra time. After another defeat in 2016 Copa América, a disheartened

longtime rival Brazil. Messi led the tournament in almost every statistical category, leading him to secure his seventh Ballon d’Or in the fall along with the Copa América. That final was overflowing with tension—when the final whistle sounded, it was as though a dam had finally broken. The relief on Messi’s face was evident, and even a non-soccer fan could grasp the significance of the moment. This Copa América, as great as it was, was only the beginning of a historic international run.

The 2022 World Cup was seen as the end of a golden generation of football— “the last dance” for greats like Ronaldo, Luka Modrić, Suárez, Robert Lewandowski, and, of course, Messi. As the knockout stages progressed and the pool of remaining

Messi’s World Cup victory, after all the years of anguish and loss, was an almost surreal moment. The celebrations lasted for hours, the parade in Argentina was declared a national holiday and lasted a week, and the entire world was on its feet cheering. Tons of people had turned on their TVs not simply to watch the World Cup final, but to watch Lionel Messi attempt to complete the greatest career in soccer history. He had won the first World Cup since the death of the beloved Diego Maradona, whose shadow he was finally stepping out of and whose level he was now unequivocally beyond. The most captivating football game in recent memory had also been the coronation of the greatest soccer player of all time: Lionel Messi. Ten La Liga titles, four UCL titles, seven Ballon d’Ors, six European Golden Boots, two FIFA World Cup Golden Balls, an Olympic gold medal, a Copa América trophy, and the 2022 FIFA World Cup.

Julia Shen / The Spectator

By YASHNA PATEL and FREDERIK SCHUTZ

Name: Oscar Kaye Grade: 12 Height: 6’0”

Hair Color: Brown Eye Color: Brown Date of Birth: 02/28/2005

Name: Lucas Grimaldi Grade: 12 Height: 6’2”

Hair Color: Brown Eye Color: Brown Date of Birth: 02/16/2005

1. When and how did you start swimming? How long have you been on the Pirates, the Stuyvesant varsity swimming team?

Oscar: I started swimming when I was really young. I joined a swim team when I was in the third grade, so I think I was eight. I have been on a club team for a while. I was on the Manhattan Makos for about eight years, and then I joined the Flying Dolphins. I’ve been on the Pirates for all of high school, since my freshman year.

Lucas: I’ve been swimming since I was six years old. I learned to swim at a local gym, and a coach asked me to join her team. I swam with that team up until the eighth grade before I came to Stuyvesant. And I have been on the Pirates all four years as well.

2. What strokes do you swim, and what skills/strengths are involved?

Oscar: I swim only freestyle. I used to be a breaststroker, but last year, I just decided to go into freestyle because I was getting better at it. I was doing the 200-meter, the 100-meter, and the 400-meter relay. It involves a lot of technique because it’s more medium distance, so you need good technique in underwater turns to be good at it, but you also need endurance because the 100-meter and 200-meter are both pretty fast events.

Lucas: I currently swim the 50-meter and 100-meter freestyle. I used to be a distance swimmer my freshman year. During junior year, I decided

Basketball

By VEDANT KOTHARI

4.7 seconds were left on the game clock. The score was 130-127 in favor of the Chicago Bulls, with the Cleveland Cavaliers down by three. Donovan Mitchell stood at the free throw line, and he splashed his first free throw, making it a two-point game. Mitchell only had two options left: either make the free throw and look for a quick steal and a bucket to win the game, or purposefully miss the free throw in the hopes that a teammate would grab the rebound and put it in. As the ball left his fingertips, the crowd was in silence. It took what seemed like

Swimmin’ for a Livin’

to steer more toward freestyle, because I was getting better at the 50-meter, and now I’m doing that. I guess one of the strengths involved is focusing on expending all your energy in such a short amount of time, which is why I started liking the 50-meter, because you really get to push yourself.

3. What is your most memorable moment with the Pirates?

Oscar: There have been so many memorable moments. That’s a hard question. I think there are two, and Lucas would agree with this, I think. Most recently, [one] would be the swim meet against Bronx Science, because a lot of alumni from our freshman year came and saw us, and a lot of alumni from last year, when we got destroyed by Bronx Science, came back and watched us beat them, so that was pretty memorable. And the second one would be when Coach told us last year that we were going to be captains. We didn’t know what was going on. It was by complete surprise. We had both been working our butts off, especially since the team last year was kind of a mess, and Lucas and I were trying to hold the team together, so that was special.

Lucas: Yeah I have to agree. That’s perfect.

4. Do you have any plans to continue swimming in the future or in college?

Oscar: I want to swim D3 in college. Nothing is certain, but all will become clear. All will become clear.

Lucas: Depending on which school I get into, I would probably try and go D3, but I don’t know if I could. I would definitely want to stay active in the pool though and probably join the intramural club.

5. Do you have any premeet superstitions or rituals?

Oscar: When I was a kid, my goggles would always come off, and my suit would always come untied, so I was just a mess when I was swimming. So, before I go swimming, I have to check like five times whether my goggles

are secure and my suit is all tied. Also, I don’t know if you’ve ever been to a meet before, but something you will hear a lot is people slapping their muscles to get their blood warmed up, so that’s something I do as well.

Lucas: I know for me, before each of my races, I listen to music to hype myself up. I listen to a lot of rap, which is more fast-paced.

6. What is the coaching style like on the team?

Oscar: He’s very professional. He knows what he’s doing. He swam in high school and swam D1 in college, so he is a serious former athlete, and he definitely pushes us is what I’ll say. He does have a really good balance of strictness and leniency, when both are needed. Our former fastest swimmer, for example, refused to go to practice. He said he only wanted to go to the meets. And Coach told him he can’t be on the team, that it doesn’t work like that.

more time out of the water so that I can help people in the water with their technique and swimming. [My] long term goal is to bring the championship back home, where it belongs.

Lucas: For short-term goals, I want to try and break 22 seconds for my 50-meter freestyle. And my long-term goal is the same as Oscar. I want to bring home City Champs.

8. What are the best and worst parts of swimming?

Oscar: The downside is that it is incredibly time consuming, more so than most other sports. If you take a day off and miss a practice, then you’re behind. If you’re not working your butt off for two hours straight in the water, then you will not be as fast as other people who are doing that. It is not a talent thing. Some people can be more talented than others, but that won’t take you very far. It’s about the hard work. I have missed countless social engagements in the

[with] dry skin and chlorine. The upside of it is that you’re part of a team, especially compared to a club team, where it’s a lot more individual. On a high school team, you’re a part of something that is bigger than you, and your contribution is so valuable, and just knowing that makes you feel a lot more fulfilled when you’re going to practice and bonding with teammates. It’s just a good thing to be a part of.

Oscar Kaye

Funniest Teammate: Michael Debra and Charlie Stern

Favorite Swimmer: Michael Phelps

Favorite Sports Drink: Water Favorite Post-Meet Snack: Pizza

Hobbies: Writing, boxing, filming Motto to Live By: We who are about to die salute you.

Swimming Pet Peeve: Pretending to be hurt.

Fun Fact: I know how to use a butterfly knife.

Favorite Warm-Up Stretch: Twistie twistie Biggest Competition This Season: Brooklyn Technical High School Best Stroke: Freestyle

Lucas Grimaldi

Funniest Teammate: Destin Yu

Favorite Swimmer: Cody Miller

Lucas: I am a fan of our coach. I really like Coach Zhu. He does a good job of disciplining us, but at the same time keeping a free spirit, I guess. I’m glad he stepped in as coach.

7. What are your short and long-term goals this season?

Oscar: [My] short term goals are to break my personal records: to break 50 seconds on the 100-meter freestyle and break 1:50 on the 200-meter free. There are also some people on the team that I’d like to get faster. I might be taking some

past 10 years for swimming, just to go swimming, and that can be tough. The upside is that we are a part of something that is larger than us. And that feels really good, especially when you’re leading and building it into something more. I am really honored to be a part of something that has been going on for so long, and yeah, that’s the upside, being part of the team.

Lucas: Obviously the downside is that it is very time consuming. I guess something I hate about it is that my skin is always dry, and I’m always cold,

71 Points for Donovan Mitchell

an eternity, eventually bouncing off the edge of the rim. Defying all odds, he caught his own rebound and, while falling out of bounds, layed it up and in. The game was tied at 130 a piece. The Cavs bench was stunned as they completed their masterful 21-point comeback, with Mitchell at the heart, having scored 58 points. The game was headed to overtime, and the Rocket Mortgage FieldHouse arena was ecstatic.

After the second overtime tip-off, the game was entirely in Mitchell’s hands. He scored 13 points in overtime, making him the highest scorer against the Bulls in Cavaliers history.

In the first half, he only scored 16 points, but in the third and fourth quarter, he miraculously turned things around, scoring 42 points across those two quarters. The performance put Mitchell as the sixth highest scorer in any game, tied with Elgin Baylor and David Robinson.

If anything, this game also pointed to the strength of this season’s Cavaliers. With one of the youngest rosters in the league, they currently sit fifth in the Eastern Conference. In front, Mitchell is the man who they confided in to lead the young core to the latter stages of the NBA. Sending Collin Sexton, Lauri Markkanen, and

several draft picks to Utah in exchange for Mitchell, the Cavs secured a certified all-star to pair up in the backcourt with Darius Garland. The best part about this trade is that Mitchell isn’t even in his prime yet. The direction of the team with Mitchell at the helm can go any way, but their collective potential and skill is terrifying. There are so many positives to the Cavs’ side, and you can’t help but admire the process which has unfolded as a result of the amazing work of both Coach J.B. Bickerstaff and general manager Koby Altman. During the offseason, they orchestrated the trade for Mitchell, which was

Favorite Sports Drink: Water Favorite Post-Meet Snack: Cheeseburger Hobbies: Surfing, photography, basketball Motto to Live By: It is what it is.

Swimming Pet Peeve: Pulling on the feet of people in front of you.

Fun Fact: I used to do magic when I was little.

Favorite Warm-Up Stretch: Hugging your leg

Biggest Competition This Season: James Madison High School

Best Stroke: Freestyle

one of the biggest in Cavaliers history. With Evan Mobley and Jarrett Allen in the frontcourt, along with the likes of Caris LeVert, Kevin Love, Cedi Osman, and Lamar Stevens available to make an impact off the bench, the Cavaliers boast an extremely well-rounded, powerful lineup. The team is solid on both ends of the court, and in each game, someone different steps up if needed. Mitchell’s game against the Bulls was just a mere indication of how good the Cavs are this season, even if Mitchell is stealing the spotlight. Make sure to keep an eye on them in this year’s NBA playoffs, as the sky’s the limit for these Cavs.

Honora Muratori / The Spectator

By EVAN WONG

Dallas Mavericks superstar point guard Luka Donćić recently shocked basketball fans around the world with his unprecedented streak of elite performances, admitting himself as a serious contender in this year’s MVP race. Following

THESPECTATORSPORTS

Young NBA Star Shatters Old Records

the Mavericks franchise and the NBA as a whole. At just 23 years of age, the former third overall draft pick seems to already be on track to becoming an all-time great player.

Though there was no single game where Dončić began his streak of dominance, many fans began to notice signifi-

clutch free throw from teammate Dorian Finney-Smith, as well as major rebounds, Dončić and the Mavericks won the game by three points.

This level of performance continued into December, when Dončić shined in an away game against the Houston Rockets. Once again, the match came very close, but the Mavericks started to pull ahead during the fourth quarter. With just 19 seconds remaining, Dončić made a 30-foot three-point jumper to solidify the lead. The Mavericks would go on to win the game by six points, and Dončić ended the night just shy of a triple-double with 50 points, eight rebounds, and 10 assists.

missed one of two free throws, Mavericks guard Spencer Dinwiddie scored an important three-pointer, lowering the gap to two. This difference proved to be temporary as the Knicks’ lead once again increased to three following two free throws made by McBride. However, the Knicks made a critical mistake by putting Dončić on the foul line. After making one of his two free throws, he intentionally threw the ball against the backboard, caught his own rebound, and scored the putback shot. The game was sent into overtime, in which the Mavericks eventually won.

defenders in their place. His patience grants him unmatched control over the game, forcing his defenders to play to his pace. Furthermore, his amazing efficiency, even with his signature off-balance shots, makes him an outstanding shooter. But even with all of the success that he has been experiencing, Dončić remains exceptionally humble. “I was just kind of a little bit lucky there. [I had] two steals, one block, five offensive rebounds, and a jump ball, too. I don’t know, man. I’m just enjoying the sport,” he said in an interview after his 60-point game against the Knicks.

second option Jalen Brunson’s move to the New York Knicks, Dončić was essentially left alone to drive the Dallas offense. Nonetheless, like a true leader, he took up this responsibility and is now consistently putting up some of the biggest raw numbers in the league. With averages of 33.8 points and 8.8 assists per game and a 60.8 true shooting percentage, Dončić has already broken a number of scoring records, within both

Girls’ Track

By MAX SHIMBO and KAILEEN SO

The Greyducks, Stuyvesant’s girls’ track and field team, start their fifth and final 400 meters of practice. Their heads are pounding, and their backs are drenched with sweat. Continuing the familiar pattern of heavy breaths and rhythmic footsteps, they are brought back to their glorious races. They remember triumphantly dipping across the finish line and eagerly checking their times. That feeling of finishing reminds them of the medals around their necks. They hear the team’s cheers, and the sensation of running turns into the sensation of flying. The memory of victory after a successful year in the cross country season is fuel for the Stuyvesant Greyducks this indoor track season.

After finishing the cross country season with wins at the Manhattan Borough Championships and the PSAL City Championships, along with multiple qualifications for the New York State Federation Championships, the Greyducks continued to aim high at the start of their new season. While they were unable to medal in their season debut at the PSAL Jim McKay Games on December 4, they kept training in their workout groups, determined to regain their winning

cant improvements in his play starting in late November. One especially notable achievement was his 41-point triple-double against the Golden State Warriors on November 29. The game was a long series of back-and-forth between the two teams, with the Mavericks ahead by just one point with 1:19 left on the clock. Dončić scored a 14-foot two-point shot with 59 seconds left to increase their lead. With the help of a

The highlight of Dončić’s new wave was his 60-point triple-double against the New York Knicks on December 27, topping Wilt Chamberlain’s and Elgin Baylor’s 50-point, 20-rebound triple-doubles as well as Dirk Nowitzki’s single-game franchise scoring record of 53 points. Trailing nine points with just 33.9 seconds remaining, victory seemed impossible for Dallas, yet Dončić never gave up hope. While grabbing an offensive rebound and scoring an impressive putback layup, he was able to cut the Knicks’ lead to three points with 15.4 seconds left on the clock. After Knicks guard Miles McBride

Throughout the season, many were not surprised by the three-time All-Star player’s abilities. Dončić has always been known to be a dominant force on the court, but his continued improvement is only confirming his undeniable work ethic. At 6’7” and 230 pounds, he towers over fellow point guards. This size advantage compensates for what many critics consider a lack of athleticism, as he has a characteristically slow playstyle in such a fast-paced NBA. Yet, it is his immense basketball IQ and versatility that distinguish him as a player. Dončić is able to effortlessly read his opponents and understands how to take advantage of his ball-handling skills to freeze

The Greyducks Continue to Soar

streak. Their first stint of success came at the Coach Saint Invitational on December 16, when senior Isabella Stenhouse won the team’s first medal, a bronze in the one mile, with a time of 5:19.87. This medal instilled hope in the Greyducks, as they finally saw their hard work begin to pay off. From then on, the Greyducks continued their campaign for victory. At the PSAL Holiday Classic on December 27, Stuyvesant brought home an impressive 11 medals, including gold medals from freshman Jiya Patel in the freshman 3000-meter, as well as sophomores Skye McArthur and Honora Muratori and seniors Pimada Phongsuriya and Stenhouse from the 4x800-meter team.

Yet, it won’t be an easy road for the Greyducks to accomplish their goals of winning Manhattan Borough’s and placing top 10 at PSAL City Championships. Stuyvesant’s toughest rival, Hunter College High School, has consistently challenged the Greyducks’ aspirations throughout the years. With strong sprint, distance, and field teams, they have been able to edge out Stuyvesant in the past two Borough Championships. While Hunter has been able to capitalize from the field section, Stuyvesant’s focus has primarily been on track events, often ignoring field events,

which previously limited the number of points they could earn. The team has made a significant effort to address this concern by focusing on recruiting members for less common events, such as hurdling, while also working on training new members. With the aid of experienced seniors, these athletes have tested their strength in numerous events in an attempt to find the ones they are best suited for. As a result, multiple athletes in less common events have seen great success during the outdoor season last year and the indoor season this year. “It’s been nice to welcome new athletes to our team. We work to get them used to our routines and workouts,” Coach Carl DiSarno said. The team aims to continue this trend and train more athletes in field events, with hopes that they will win crucial points at Borough’s and City’s this season.

Though two of the team’s most prominent medalists, Phongsuriya and Stenhouse, will be graduating this year, they will pass the torch to the up-and-coming underclassmen who have already demonstrated their potential. During the Frosh/Soph Hispanic Games on January 6, freshman Emma Savonije won bronze in the freshman 1500-meter run with a time of 5:26.47, and the 4x800-meter team of McArthur, Muratori,

Patel, and Savonije won silver with a final time of 10:58.74. With the underclassmen consistently placing in their meets, the team is optimistic that they will remain winners for years to come, even with the departure of many notable seniors.

As the Greyducks continue their season, they are staying motivated and training with their goals in mind. This undying motivation stems from their familial dynamic. “Since we’re a tight-knit team, the social aspect of the team is also something that keeps athletes motivated,” senior and co-captain Olivia Zheng said.

Despite Dončić’s incredible level of play, his health remains a concern for long-term success. He has been ruled out of several games due to an ankle injury. Dončić has been known to start off seasons slowly before getting into game shape for the remainder of the season. For example, in the two preseason games that the Mavericks played, Dončić scored just 16 and 24 points, which are noticeably lower than his regular season averages. To truly become an all-time great, especially given his young age, he will need to work on his consistency and break this risky trend of injuries. If he manages to do so, the rest of the NBA may be in major trouble.

Adding on, Phongsuriya touched upon the way the team works together to push through the low parts of the sport. “I think my team and I recognize when it’s time to take a step back if the burnout is terrible. I like to switch up the workout at times by either running with someone new or by running a new route,” she said.

As February 12, the date of the highly anticipated Manhattan Borough Championships, draws closer, the Greyducks continue to soar, hoping to prove that there is no limit to how high they’ll fly.

Soccer

Tennis

T.C.U

Buffalo

Cristiano

legend Edson Arantes do Nascimento, better known as Pelé, passed away on December 29, 2022.

star Naomi Osaka announced her pregnancy and will not be playing in 2023.

Dallas Mavericks’ guard Luka Dončić recorded a historical 60-21-10 statline against the New York Knicks on December 27.

upset Michigan in a wild playoff semifinal match, but suffered a 65-7 defeat to Georgia in the College Football Playoff National Championship.

Bill’s Damar Hamlin suffered a cardiac arrest in-game, which drew attention to the need for proper medical care across sports.

Ronaldo signed a two-year contract to play for Saudi Arabia team al-Nassr.

Stacey Chen / The Spectator