Submerge Magazine: Issue 100 (December 12, 2011-January 2, 2012) by Submerge Magazine

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100

contents

Submerge: an independently owned entertainment/lifestyle publication available for free biweekly throughout the greater Sacramento area.

12 32

04 06 07 09 12 14 18 20 26 29 30 31 32 34

cofounder/ Editor in Chief/Art Director

Melissa Welliver melissa@submergemag.com cofounder/ Advertising Director

Jonathan Carabba jonathan@submergemag.com senior editor

Submerge

Contributing Writers

Robin Bacior, Corey Bloom, Bocephus Chigger, Anthony Giannotti, Blake Gillespie, Vince Girimonte, Skylar Mundy, Ryan L. Prado, Steph Rodriguez Adam Saake, Mike Saechao, Amy Serna, Jenn Walker

2308 J Street, Suite F Sacramento, Calif. 95816

916.441.3803 info@submergemag.com

Contributing photographers

James Barone Contributing editor

Matthew Burks, Skylar Mundy, Nicholas Wray

Mandy Johnston

bad ass intern

Amy Serna

www.submergemag.com

printed on recycled paper

201 1 2012

December 12 january 2 Dive in The Stream The Optimistic Pessimist Submerge your senses Trent Liddicoat wallpaper dog party calendar our favorite quotes from our first 99 issues

top 20 of 2011

live<<rewind non-drummer drum off

CapitAl Capture

colorful pea coats

sacto food blogs the shallow end All content is property of Submerge and may not be reproduced without permission. Submerge is both owned and published by Submerge Media. All opinions expressed throughout Submerge are those of the author and do not necessarily mean we all share those opinions. Feel free to take a copy or two for free, but please don’t remove our papers or throw them away. Submerge welcomes letters of all kinds, whether they are full of love or hate. We want to know what is on your mind, so feel free to contact us via snail mail at 2308 J Street, Suite F Sacramento, Calif. 95816. Or you can e-mail us at info@submergemag.com.

Issue 100 • December 12, 2011 – January 2, 2012

dive in that’s a wrap,

at least for now. Melissa welliver melissa@submergemag.com

Wow. Issue No. 100. Not to be cheesy, but it seriously seems like only yesterday that we learned how to get a business license, filed for a fictitious business name, wrote, designed and distributed issue No. 1 featuring Agent Ribbons and C.R.A.C. Knuckles… Time sure flies. When making our lovely 100th issue that you are holding in your hands, there were three separate times that I had to go and open up every single old issue’s files. Talk about tedious! Boy am I glad this issue is finally wrapped up. It was beyond time consuming. I had a few design ideas for the front cover at first. They involved a lot of bright colors and bright overlapping numbers, but then I started thinking that a whole bunch of numbers designed like that can look really cool, but, what does that really mean to me? Or to Sacramento, to the people we’ve featured or to our readers? So, I got the idea to make a cover that I think is a bit more memorable and representative of our last 99 issues. This was the first time I was forced to open up every single past issue’s files to copy and paste all the artists’ names that are on our front cover. Not only did I need to remind myself who was featured in each issue, I did not want to misspell anybody’s name. A whole lot of careful copy and pasting went into that cover. There better not be one wrong name! And if there is, save your letters. I’m on vacation for the next two weeks (yeah right). With putting each name on the page it reminded me of the band, artist, athlete, comedian, etc. that we’ve been so lucky to feature. It not only reminded me of setting up each interview, but it also triggered all the cool memories of working with our ever-so talented contributors. It also reminded me that when you give a writer a deadline, always expect their story a day later. Ha! No, but it really took me back to establishing a lot of friendships with writers, photographers and local business owners that I wouldn’t trade for anything thing in the world. Oh yeah, slappin’ you with some double cheese. OK, the second time I had to go through all the old issues’ file folders was when I made the back cover. On the back there are 99 covers! Since we have two covers each issue (except for our Deftones wrap-around cover), it was extremely difficult to decide which ones to put on the back, but all in all we picked one from each issue for one reason or another. I really do wish we could have put them all on there, but they would have turned out way too small and no one would have been able to enjoy them. If you’re interested in seeing more past covers, feel free to check out our Facebook page. When a few of us picked out our favorite pull quotes from the past (see our feature on page 26) that was the third time, and unfortunately probably not last time, I had to go through a ton of old issues’ files. Not sure if you’re keen to pull quotes in publications, but they are larger text excerpts that are placed on the page to engage you. Our favorite pull quotes come from a range of some of the most famous people that we’ve interviewed to local artists. They all have one thing in common: they’re all funny or interesting things that were said to our writers at one time or another. We hope you enjoy it. And if they are really enticing to you, we have all our interviews posted on our website, Submergemag.com. Looking back at the past 99 issues (four years!), I also realize there are a bunch of local bands or artists that we haven’t featured yet that I’ve been wanting to. Maybe you’re one of those artists. If so, don’t worry, we’ll be around for a lot longer. There’s a good chance if you’re talented and dedicated, we’ll feature you in the future. We would like to encourage you to e-mail us info about yourself to info@submergemag.com. Let us know when you have an album coming out, are going on tour, have an art show or are opening your new business! Also, an extra special thank you to our advertisers…getting to issue No. 100 would have been impossible if it weren’t for you. Those who truly enjoy Submerge, please never forget that. Support them whenever you can. They’re the ones that allow our creative community of Sacramento to have an outlet such as Submerge. Thank you everyone for continuing to pick us up. Please do so every other week, with the exception of this issue—it’s on stands for three weeks. Some of us need a day or two off. And of course, thank you to our talented contributors and to our loving friends and family that have helped us out along the long and bumpy road. Enjoy #100, Melissa-Dubs

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ALL SHOWS ALL AGES • 21+ BAR AREA TickeTs AvAilAble AT All Dimple RecoRDs locATions, boARDwAlkRocks.com AnD boARDwAlk box office Issue 100 • December 12, 2011 – January 2, 2012

The stream PRIETA’S FINAL SHOW // NICK BRUNNER TO HOST BLUE DOG JAM // SPANGLISH ARTE SEEKS ARTWORK TO TAKE TO NEW YORK INTERNATIONAL GIFT FAIR // SUBMERGE 100TH ISSUE PARTY Jonathan Carabba Send regional news tips to info@submergemag.com

Local rock band Prieta will sadly play their last show on Saturday, Dec. 17 at Beatnik Studios and they’ve put together an impressive lineup of friends’ bands to help send them off properly, including Lite Brite, The Kelps, Goodness Gracious Me!, Reggie Ginn, Marcus Cortez, the Phantom Jets (reuniting for night only) and The Brothers Nunez. Submerge is going to miss these guys, for sure, but something tells us all it will take to get them back together is some time and an offer for a great gig (ahem—Submerge’s 150th Issue Party, perhaps?). Beatnik is located at 2421 17th Street and all ages are welcome.

CALL TO ARTISTS! ASAP. Contact Mari at Spanglish .com calltoartists@shopspanglish

9, 2012 at 5pm Deadline to submit is Jan

Spanglish Arte is accepting proposals for fine art, folk art, jewelry, fashion, home accessories, greeting cards, etc. with a Latino/Chicano aesthetic to be featured at the

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There are some big changes going down at Capital Public Radio: Jeffrey Callison, host of popular morning show Insight, has left to pursue a new career as the press secretary for the California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation, a governor-appointed position that Callison couldn’t pass up. David Watts Barton, who has guest hosted Insight many times, will be the interim host until the station finds someone permanent. On the same day that Callison signed off for the final time, Submerge learned that the station’s indie music guru Nick Brunner will be taking over as host of Blue Dog Jam, a contemporary music show featuring local bands, live recordings and artists that runs on Saturday nights from 7 p.m. to 10 p.m. Submerge could not be more stoked for Brunner, and we’re really looking forward to hearing what he does with the show. Our good friends at Spanglish Arte, an eclectic retail shop and art gallery located in Midtown, are seeking artists that have a Latino/Chicano vibe and aesthetic to their work who would like the opportunity to be featured at the New York International Gift Fair, held from Jan. 28–Feb. 2, 2012. Shop owner Mari Arreola is excited to be able to feature regional artists at this year’s event, which is known as a “make it or break it venue.” The trade show attracts national and international retailers, large and small, seeking merchandise for their ventures (art galleries, museums, boutiques, design and gift stores, etc.). Arreola is looking for

Issue 100 • December 12, 2011 – January 2, 2012

“everything from traditional to urban modern street style art,” she said in a recent press release. So, if you or anyone you know creates cool art, jewelry, accessories, clothing, etc., and would like the opportunity to be shown on an international level, have them get in touch with Arreola at Spanglish Arte before the submission deadline of Jan. 9, 2012. Contact Spanglish Arte by calling (916) 446-1213 or by stopping in at 905 23rd Street, Suite No. 2. Learn more at Shopspanglish.com. In case you haven’t noticed, the issue you’re holding in your hands (or maybe you’re reading us online) is a very special one. It’s our 100th issue! If you’re like me and are bad at math, allow me to help. Seeing as how Submerge is a biweekly publication, 100 issues equals four years! Whether you’ve been with us since the beginning or this is your first time picking us up, I’d like to say thanks for turning to Submerge for your Sacramento-area music/art/culture news. We’re very proud of what we’ve built over the past 99 issues and to celebrate the release of the 100th, we’re throwing a huge concert at Ace of Spades (1417 R Street) on Friday, Dec. 16 featuring some of the region’s best artists: Sister Crayon, Tera Melos, Ganglians, ZuhG, Random Abiladeze featuring DJ Rated R and Early States. As if that wasn’t enough, DJ Blackheart (better known as Jake Desrochers of Lonely Kings) will hold down the after party at the main bar inside Ace of Spades until about 1 a.m., which leaves just enough time to run down the block to Shady Lady for a nightcap cocktail before last call. Tickets are just $12 in advance, $14 at the door. Hit up The Beat, Dimple Records locations or ZuhG Life Music Store to get physical tickets. They are also available online at Aceofspadessac.com. Our good friends at Unseen Heroes are helping us put together a holiday-themed photo booth (so make sure you look sharp that night!) and we’ll also have giveaways from such rad companies as Dimple Records, Sierra-at-Tahoe and more. See you at the show, and here’s to another 100 issues!

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

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Issue 100 • December 12, 2011 – January 2, 2012

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Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas Audio Express — Sacramento Submerge — 12/12/2011

Your Senses SEE HEAR TASTE Touch

TOUCH

Donate Toys at Local Rock Shows There are two killer shows in the coming weeks that are urging Sacramento music lovers to donate new, unwrapped toys this holiday season. First, on Dec. 16 at Shenanigans, catch Metal Health, Bypassing Oblivion, Todd Morgan and The Emblems and Insomnia play a Toys for Tots benefit show. It’s a 7 p.m. start and all ages until 10 p.m., free with a toy donation or $5 at the door. Then, on Dec. 23 at Ace of Spades, see Rock for Tots VI featuring Lonely Kings, Dogfood, A Single Second, Element of Soul, I’m Dirty Too and Street Urchinz. Bring a toy and receive a raffle ticket for prizes from local vendors. All toys go to Sacramento Salvation Army. That show starts at 6:30 p.m. and is all ages. It feels good to give, and it feels good to rock. It feels even better when you put the two together. Do the right thing, give a toy or two this year and make some child’s holiday season that much better.

HEAR

DJs and Live Music on New Year’s Eve Downtown Sacramento does not lack fun things to do on New Year’s Eve, that’s for sure. Allow this breakdown of NYE options to be a bit of a road map to your having an epic night. This surely isn’t everything happening in town, but here are a some great options nonetheless: District 30 (1022 K Street) has DJ Serafin (who is huge in the Los Angeles and Las Vegas club scenes) spinning his seamless integration of house, hip-hop, pop, Bmore and rock. Ace of Spades (1417 R Street) has Hollywood-based rapper Mickey Avalon with openers Big Chocolate and Richard the Rockstar. The Hyatt Regency Sacramento (1209 L Street) has an “Acoustic Lounge” with Quinn Hedges and Ryan Hernandez as well as a bigger/louder party inside their new L on 12 Nightclub with DJ Rated R and the super-fun cover band Cheeseballs. Speaking of cover bands, Shenanigans (705 J Street) has a huge party lined up featuring live music from Departure, a Journey tribute band, as well as 8 Track Massacre, an ‘80s cover band. Old Ironsides (1901 10th Street) has DJs Shaun Slaughter and Roger Carpio for a special NYE Lipstick party. The Blue Lamp (1400 Alhambra Boulevard.) has The Pine Box Boys, an Americana/bluegrass/experimental band from San Francisco along with three opening bands and Marilyn’s on K (908 K Street) has The Mother Hips. This list could easily go on and on, but we’ll spare you. For more NYE party options, turn to our calendar on page 20.

SEE

Dave Attell’s Stand-up at Punch Line Comedy Club

TASTE

Santa Champagne Brunch Cruise on the Hornblower in Old Sacramento On Saturday, Dec. 17 take a two-hour cruise along the Sacramento River on the Hornblower and enjoy free-flowing bubbly, a buffet stocked with classic breakfast dishes, lunch entrees and desserts. There will also be live music and a visit from Santa. All for only $43! Boarding begins at 10:45 a.m., and the boat departs from the L Street Dock at 1206 Front Street in Old Sacramento. Book ahead of time by visiting Hornblower.com or by calling (888) 467-6256. They also have a special Christmas Day Supper Cruise for those interested in eliminating cooking and cleaning from their holiday routine!

SubmergeMag.com

One of stand-up comedy’s best, Dave Attell, will bring his caustic wit and rapid-fire delivery of “very adult” material to Sacramento for three shows at Punch Line Comedy Club on Thursday, Dec. 29 (show time is 8 p.m.) and Friday, Dec. 30 (show times are 8 p.m. and 10 p.m.). Attell got into stand-up in the late ‘80s when he frequented the open mic scene in New York City. Since then he’s been named one of the “25 Funniest People in America” by Entertainment Weekly, had his own popular show Insomniac with Dave Attell on Comedy Central, has appeared in hit television shows like Arrested Development and has countless appearances on the late-night show circuit. What better way to get your pre-New Year’s Eve party on than to laugh your ass off with some friends over drinks? More information and tickets available by calling Punch Line at (916) 925-5500, or visit Livenation.com.

Issue 100 • December 12, 2011 – January 2, 2012

1417 R STREET

All Shows All Ages

SAcRAMEnTo Tickets Available @ dimple Records, The Beat, Armadillo (davis) online: AceofSpadesSac.com By phone: 1.877.Gnd.cTRL oR 916.443.9202

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Issue 100 • December 12, 2011 – January 2, 2012

January 27 & 28

f R i dAy

January 20

Crosses f R i dAy

february 3

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

pAcific DuB officiAl reSponSe

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february 5

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Issue 100 • December 12, 2011 – January 2, 2012

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by the book

Trent Liddicoat Connects Art and Literature in His New Exhibit Words Blake Gillespie

iven the healthy abundance of trees and recent infestation of raccoons and opossums, Midtown is in a delicate balance of the natural functioning alongside an urban civilization built atop it. Local artist Trent Liddicoat is plugged into the duality of Midtown, finding a sense of his inner struggle in it. He wrestles with these struggles and the stresses placed upon communities in death in his art show at Sol Collective. Titled …and I’m whistling as beautifully as I can, Liddicoat’s work is predominantly conceived with the use of acrylics, coffee and spray paint. Dissatisfied with wine spills, he got the inspiration to use coffee after seeing a fellow artist Richard St. Ofle use the dark brew on canvas. Before Liddicoat, age 23, would head out for work in the mornings, he splashed the remains of his morning French press across the canvas to dry throughout the afternoon. In time he was able to manipulate the spills to his liking. “It’s cheap,” he said. “At first it was very intimidating, but now I’ve got a few techniques.” The show title’s full quote, first penned by the late (so it goes) Kurt Vonnegut, is “All the other species are dying and so will we. I’m whistling as I walk past the graveyard… whistling as beautifully as I can.” Liddicoat wrote the quote in a journal years ago. While seeking a muse to direct his body of work, he rediscovered the saved prose. “I read that and was thinking how it was connected with being a new artist,” he said. “I don’t have an education with my art, so I’m taking this full force to be an honest portrayal of the best that I can do.” The words relate to Liddicoat’s

perception of death as well—a prevalent theme in his collection. He said the show is not a focus on death, but life’s curtain call acted as the steppingstone of inspiration for the series. “I wanted to find the positive light in it,” he said. “A friend pointed out once, that rather than focusing on the grieving, I’m focusing on the tail end of life. So now the show is more about life and experience. ” Death as an adhesive for communities might be too pretty of a bow for Liddicoat’s intention, but with death as the foundation, it kept inspiring friends to offer their insights to his work. A few of his paintings feature images of deer, one of which was donated to the UC Davis Mind Institute for Autism Research. There are a number of reasons Liddicoat could have selected deer to unite his work, but it would be his small community of artists that guided him. “My friend Estella [Sanchez] from the Sol Collective actually pointed out to me that the deer is a symbol of death in Mayan culture,” he said. A native of Rio Linda, Liddicoat is no stranger to the outdoors and its wildlife. He said his grandparents once owned acres of land. It is that upbringing pitted against his adjustment to urban living that seeps into his art. “I try to take the personal problems that I have or the issues with certain things and I think about something conceptually and then find a way to make it universal for others. That led me to the idea of how a sense of community helps loss.” For Liddicoat, the task of internalizing is far deeper than the chore of conceptualizing. He offered a brief mention of a family

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Issue 100 • December 12, 2011 – January 2, 2012

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situation concerning his grandfather’s health—a topic that felt addressable strictly due to his valued interest in art focused on death. He began questioning how his grandfather’s current health issues would alter the mindsets and how the family will process the impending change. The situation lacks answers until the threshold is met, but it is in those dire moments that bonds are strengthened. The young artist spoke graciously of his friends and pocket of fellow artists and musicians, all of which provide motivation for his art. Liddicoat’s art show will feature a 7-foot installation inspired by the Free Life Center,

a touring art house that he admires. Jesse Phillips of Ellie Fortune helped Liddicoat with the homage installation, which is made from recycled wood taken from a long dormant house near his mom’s property in Rio Linda. “They moved out years ago,” he said. “Basically this wood was part of what looked like meth Trent Liddicoat’s …and I’m shacks. We just hopped whistling as beautifully as I can the fence, pulled off will open at the Sol Collective on Dec. 17. The opening reception all the materials and will start at 7 p.m. and feature brought it to the Sol music performances from Al Maxwell, Carson McWhirter and Collective.” Strong Pregnant. For more info on Sol communities should also Collective, check out Solcollective. org. You can also follow Liddicoat be resourceful. on Tumblr at Trentliddicoatart. tumblr.com.

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Issue 100 • December 12, 2011 – January 2, 2012

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nyone who’s ever started a band knows that the music business can be a tough and arduous road— even if you don’t have any aspirations beyond playing a few gigs and getting paid in free beer. If you stick with it, though, the rewards can be pretty awesome. Free beer, for one, is always good, but you

could become a bona fide super star—or you could find yourself on any number of the rungs on the ladder of success in-between. If you’re looking for an example of sticking with it, look no further than Ricky Reed, the man behind Wallpaper, an Oakland-based electro-pop act. Reed started the project in 2005 as a sort of satirical look at pop music. Ironically enough, he now may be poised for some level of pop stardom in spite of himself. With the release of Wallpaper’s latest album, #Stupidfacedd, Reed got the attention of MTV and even had

the album’s single, the title track, played on the premier episode of this season’s The Jersey Shore. Maybe not the most auspicious venue to get his music heard, but it certainly opened some doors. “Obviously, you have to be willing to deal with massive amounts of rejection. You have to be able to handle that,” Reed told Submerge over the phone from Los Angeles. “But when all these things came up, they were Before his most recent breakthroughs, however, it was the small victories that kept Reed going. “The first time that I played at The Press Club in Sacramento and had three to four attractive girls in the crowd, I thought I was winning,” he said. “The first time that I sold out Rickshaw Stop in San Francisco, I thought, ‘Wow, I’m doing it now.’ That’s the great thing about being a musician. As long as you work hard,

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Reed’s recent successes have made him something of a sought-after commodity in the pop music world. Recently, he collaborated with Weezer’s Rivers Cuomo to write Cee-Lo Green’s new single “Anyway.” “We took one shot at it, then took another shot at it, and the second shot knocked it out of the park,” Reed said. “Working with Rivers is crazy. I grew up listening to Weezer, and he’s a really special dude for sure. “[Cuomo] came with an idea, and we just sort of built it outwards and it turned out great. He’s a class act. That’s the term to describe Rivers.” When Submerge caught up with Reed, he was in Los Angeles, one night before heading to Las Vegas to play a show at Haze Night Club at Aria with Far East Movement. In Los Angeles, he was diligently working in

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in theory, things will get better, and every little milestone just feels a little bit better than the last one did.”

COMING SOON Jan Jan Jan Jan

Ricky Reed infiltrates pop music as Wallpaper

big and they felt good, but everything feels big and good the first time.”

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the studio writing and producing. While he couldn’t divulge all that he was working on, Reed did tell us that he was putting the finishing touches on a new Wallpaper track. He shared some of the details on that and favored us with other words of wisdom in the following interview.

Issue 100 • December 12, 2011 – January 2, 2012

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

I saw that yesterday on your Facebook page you posted that you’re leaking a new Wallpaper song in a week or two. What’s that track about? I can say that it’s sports related—jock jams. That’s all I can say about that. Do you have an all-time favorite jock jam? Oh dude, all-time favorite jock jam. There are so many good ones—from Gary Glitter… I really like whoa oh-oh-oh-oh whoa oh-oh-oh-whoa-oh-oh-oh whoa oh-oh-oh-oh… Whatever that one is [the aptly titled “Whoa Oh Oh” by Zombie Nation]. That’s a good one. You know what else is a good one? I’m pretty sure they put it on one of the Mortal Kombat themes, you know, “Gonna Make You Sweat” by C+C Music Factory. That was a weird time in music when pop house music was on the radio. Imagine being at a fucking Oakland Raiders game with all your tough cholo bros, and it’s like [singing], “Why waste your time? You know you’re gonna be mine.” The fucking ‘90s, bro. It was fucking unbelievable. The ‘90s had all kinds of crazy things you’d never hear on the radio now. Like, Soundgarden was a pop band in the ‘90s. Oh, I know, dude. You’re not going to hear “Spoonman” unless Dr. Luke produces it. I’d love to hear a Dr. Luke remix of “Spoonman.” So on the scale of jock jams, would you say the song you’re working on is closer to C+C Music Factory or “We Are the Champions” by Queen? Oh wow, I would say if you could merge those and sprinkle in a “Whoomp! There It Is” kind of flavor. That kind of “Whoomp! There It Is” energy I try to bring to all my records. I would say that “#Stupidfacedd” and “Fucking Best Song Everrr” definitely have a good dose of “Whoomp! There It Is” woven into them.

You’ve got the live show coming up at Ace of Spades in Sacramento. I was reading that your live show has two drummers and at least two other vocalists. Is that something you’d like to incorporate into the studio—having a bigger band? In the studio, I just try to make the best songs however they want to be made. The live show, we’re trying to produce something special for people in that environment. There’s not a lot of carryover. We’re going to do something even bigger and crazier for the Sac show. It’s going to be the debut of a new Wallpaper live set. It’s something nobody’s seen yet. We’re doing it that night and on New Year’s Eve with Kreayshawn in San Francisco. Are you keeping that under wraps? I want to keep that somewhat of a secret, but I will say that our live act is usually a four-piece setup, but the Sacramento show will be our first performance as a five-piece for those shows. I listened to your album a couple of times through, and the first time, I definitely picked up on the beats and the energy, but the second time around, I was paying attention to the lyrics, I picked up on some really good lines in there, especially in “#Stupidfacedd” with that bit about the awkward silence. Is that something you throw in just to see if anyone’s paying attention? You could definitely say that. I think my lyrical philosophy is just try to get people to pay attention to anything, you know what I mean? Like, hear something and realize you just heard it. Pop music is wallpaper. If you ask somebody what was the patterns or the colors on the walls of the rooms they’d been in today, of course they wouldn’t know what that is. They wouldn’t be able to answer you. That’s what pop largely feels like to me. People just run around with their thumbs up their butts, not paying attention to anything.

You say that, but Wallpaper’s music is obviously in that pop vein too. Is this one of those instances where you can be more rebellious inside the system than you can be outside the system? I think you can stand on the outside and hurl rocks at it, or you can be the Trojan horse. I’ll leave it at that. I wanted to ask you about the song you did with K Flay. I’d seen her play at a random club a while back. It was one of those instances where you go out and you don’t even know who’s playing and end up really enjoying it. I was wondering how that song came together and if you wrote it with her in mind. Yeah, well I knew that K Flay was as broke as me… [laughs]. I wrote that record, and I knew it needed something. I think I met her just before that, and it was just the right timing. I thought, “This is perfect, why don’t you get on this?” She did a great job representing herself on that record, but she contributes to the song in such a great way. She’s just super talented and has also become a really good friend of mine. Like you said, when you’re coming up you have to deal with a lot of rejection, but I’m sure that now that you’re making some headway, some of those nos are probably turning into yeses. How does that feel when that starts happening? Is it off-putting at first? That was definitely the case. This sensation I feel pretty often is that I’m putting one over on people, you know? I know that my shit is dope, and I stand behind it, but also with how the rest of this stuff is, the rest of this stuff that you guys are signing off on— the powers that be—do you really think that you want to sign me? Are See Wallpaper debut its new you really sure? Because I’m going live show at Ace of Spades in to be a big problem for you guys. Sacramento on Dec. 30. Los

That kind of ‘Whoomp! There It Is’ energy I try to bring to all my records. I would say that ‘#Stupidfacedd’ and ‘Fucking Best Song Everrr’ definitely have a good dose of ‘Whoomp! There It Is’ woven into them.” – Ricky Reed, Wallpaper SubmergeMag.com

Issue 100 • December 12, 2011 – January 2, 2012

Rakas and Chaotic Fusion ft. !nkDup and DJ Oasis will also be performing. For tickets, go to Aceofspadessac.com. Admission to this all-ages show is just $10.

A c e

o f

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M aga z in e

P r e s e n t

a r e T s o l e • r e M t s i S ayon ans s Cr Gangli rly State

, y a d i r F c. 16 De A D E S

S P AMENTO F O SACR e E anc • C v A STREET 2 Ad oor

1417

$1 $14 d pm 6:30

e a z e E d • a l i b G Zuh ndom ARated Rheart Ra at. DJ J Black fe ty w/D ar p r e aft

H o l i d a y t h e m e d p h o t o b o o t h b y U nseen H eroes ! G i v e a w a y s f r o m D i m p l e R ecords , S i erra - at - T ahoe a n d m o r e !

All Ages

Tickets Available @ ZuhG Life Store, Dimple Records, The Beat, Armadillo (Davis) Online: AceOfSpadesSac.com By Phone: 1.877.GND.CTRL or 916.443.9202

The Vitals!

Get to know the artists performing at our 100th Issue Party

If you’re not familiar with the artists we chose to perform at our 100th Issue Party on Friday, Dec. 16 at Ace of Spades, first off, where the hell have you been? Living under a rock? Anywho, if you don’t know who they are, see the vitals below and be sure to type the URLs into your fancy little computer devices. Prepare to be inundated with awesome-ness, because, well, we know how to pick ‘em! See you at the show.

SISTER CRAYON TERA MELOS

Home Base: Sacramento, Calif. For Fans Of: Down tempo (yet intense) indie rock/ trip-hop. Operatic and dramatic female vocals, mixture of live drums and programmed percussion with keys, synths, guitar, the whole nine. You Dig? You’ll Dig!: Portishead, The XX, MGMT Bragging Rights: Signed to Manimal Vinyl Records, recently toured with The Album Leaf. Has been featured everywhere from Showtime to Nylon magazine. Listen/Learn More: Sistercrayon.com, Facebook.com/sistercrayon

Home Base: Sacramento, Calif. For Fans Of: Spastic, experimental-rock featuring insane guitar work (two-handed finger tapping, tons of effects pedals, etc.) and non-traditional song structures. You Dig? You’ll Dig!: Hella, The Flaming Lips, Don Caballero Bragging Rights: Signed to Sargent House, countless U.S. tours, played Forbidden Fruit Fest in Ireland this year with The Flaming Lips and Aphex Twin. Listen/Learn More: Teramelosmusic.com, Facebook.com/teramelosmusic

GANGLIANS

ZUHG

RANDOM ABILADEZE and DJ RATED R

EARLY STATES

Home Base: Sacramento, Calif. For Fans Of: Jam-y funk-rock with reggae roots. Extended jam sessions and dance-offs are common occurrences during ZuhG sets. You Dig? You’ll Dig!: Phish, O.A.R., Grateful Dead Bragging Rights: They run their own local music/ art/clothing store. Countless tours, tons of positive press, multiple SAMMIES awards. Listen/Learn More: Zuhgmusic.com

SubmergeMag.com

Home Base: Sacramento, Calif. For Fans Of: Intelligent hip-hop rich with satire and dry wit meets real turntablism. You Dig? You’ll Dig!: Nas, Talib Kweli, Gang Starr Bragging Rights: Winner of numerous spokenword and rap awards/competitions. Has shared the stage with Nas, Immortal Technique, Tech N9Ne, Zion-I, Living Legends and more. Listen/Learn More: Randomab.com, Randomabiladeze.bandcamp.com

Home Base: Sacramento, Calif. For Fans Of: Fun, catch-y, space-y/psychedelic garage-rock. You Dig? You’ll Dig!: Thee Oh Sees, Wavves, Beach Boys Bragging Rights: Affiliated record labels include Lefse, Woodsist, Captured Tracks and Souterrain Transmissions. Ganglians will be an official showcasing artist at 2012’s SXSW music festival in Austin, Texas. Listen/Learn More: Facebook.com/ganglians

Home Base: Sacramento, Calif. For Fans Of: Extremely catch-y and well-written pop-rock fit for an arena setting. You Dig? You’ll Dig!: Muse, Coldplay, The Killers Bragging Rights: Music has been featured in multiple MTV shows/commercials including, The Real World, True Life, Made and Real World Road Rules Challenge to name a few. Listen/Learn More: Earlystates.com

Issue 100 • December 12, 2011 – January 2, 2012

Rock ‘n’ Roll All Night!

Dog Party’s new album cause for extra exclamation points! Words Jenn Walker • photo Sam Giles

hat do teens and preteens do these days? What are they into? One could guess: Twilight? The Kardashians? Justin Bieber? Maybe. Or maybe that’s just brushing the surface. Local sister duo Lucy and Gwendolyn Giles have been playing in their rock band Dog Party since they were only 9 and 11 years old, respectively. Now Gwendolyn is a sophomore in high school, and Lucy will have her first taste of high school starting next year. At 13 and 15 years old, they are preparing for release of their second album, P.A.R.T.Y!!!, which they spent a good half year recording. The Giles’ mother drove the two to Shine café in downtown Sacramento for an interview with Submerge about their upcoming release. They look older than they do in the pictures. Bits of bright purple and pink flash from underneath Lucy’s brown bob. She is wearing a Ramones shirt beneath a black pleather jacket with skinny jeans and Chucks—a Joan Jett in the making. Gwendolyn appears a bit more subtle, dressed in a gray hoodie, jeans, Saucony tennies and a checker belt. One thing you should know about these girls is their musical upbringing. Their father, bless his soul, chose to introduce the two to “good” music at an incredibly young age—their musical tastes include The White Stripes, The Black Keys, the Beatles, the Ramones, the Beach Boys, Green Day, LCD Soundsystem and CSS. Take a listen to P.A.R.T.Y!!! and you get the idea. From the screeching of Gwendolyn’s phaser pedal on the album’s first track, “That’s What You Said,” the sisters brandish their rock roots. But in the midst of the album’s power chords and cowbell taps, other songs expose a folksier side, like “Mixed Up Lovers,” or a gypsy punk flare, like “Red Ribbon.” Lucy was listening to a lot of Gogol Bordello at the time, she discloses. Then there is “Memories,” which is by far the hardest song on the album, plunging into a metal sound. It’s about not being able to ski in the summer, Lucy says to me. Note that most of their songs are not so melancholy. They sing about the likes of a furry friend on “Chih-Iro,” for example, or their photographer acquaintance on “Andy Wu.” Regardless of whatever sound they’re going for on a given day, they have always loved music, they say. Gwendolyn had picked up the guitar and was playing talent shows at school by fifth grade. Lucy wasn’t far behind. Looking to Meg White of The White Stripes for inspiration, Lucy wanted to play the drums as early as first grade, she remembers. “I thought it was normal to be a girl drummer,” Lucy says. Her dad bought her a Reuther drum set that year, but she would have to wait until third grade before she could take drum lessons. Unlike many of their peers, they managed to escape the magnetism of Miley Cyrus or Kelly Clarkson. With a little push from family friend Zach Goodin, they formed Dog Party in 2007 instead. The White Stripes and The Ramones are high on their influence list, the latter of which Lucy admits an obsession with. While the girls were in Southern California for a photo shoot with Tom Tom

Issue 100 • December 12, 2011 – January 2, 2012

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

Magazine over the summer, she insisted that her family stop at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery to see Dee Dee and Johnny Ramones’ graves. An artist as well, she pulls out her phone to show pictures of stencils she made of each Ramone’s face. Indeed, the girls are comfortably familiar with a lifestyle that their friends are strangers to. The last show Gwendolyn tried to drag her friends to was a Secretions show at Luigi’s. And apparently it freaked them out, in the same fashion that their friends are scared to come to Midtown in general, preferring the ‘burbs of Carmichael, Gwendolyn bluntly says. “I don’t like being in the ‘burbs,” pipes Lucy. This is not to say that the girls don’t have friends their age. Ski team and cross country help to keep the girls socially connected. In fact, ski racing in Squaw Valley was one reason why the album took so long to record, since often the girls only could record one to two days a week. But when it comes to playing music with friends their age, the pickings are slim, they say. The kids at school are mostly “band people,” Lucy states dismissively. Rather, the two find musical support from Midtown musicians, namely adults. They’ve played a number of shows with Kepi Ghoulie, who just released an album himself. In fact, the Giles family had just spent their past Sunday at Bottom of the Hill in San Francisco for Kepi’s show. Goodin has been helpful schooling the girls on gear. They rattle off gear specifics with ease. Gwendolyn rotates between her sister’s Fender Squire Strat, a couple of Silvertones, and a Hofner paired with a Fender Pro Reverb amp and Marshall cabinet. Goodin also released P.A.R.T.Y!!! on his label, Half of Nothing records. The girls have grown accustomed to playing with musicians older than themselves. In addition to Dog Party, they are also half of Sacramento band Little Medusas with two older counterparts. They also just completed a two-week tour through Arizona, New Mexico and Southern California over the summer with Ghoulie and Sacramento band Pets, playing half their shows in houses and the other half in bars. By far, their best show was at a house party in Flagstaff, Ariz., Lucy says, because people were actually moving instead of just standing around the way people tend to do at Sacramento shows. Here in town, the girls are also accustomed to playing house shows. They have garnered enough local notoriety to play for the last three years at Concert in the Park at Cesar Chavez. Luigi’s is a favorite all-ages venue. Aside from that, there are only so many 21-and-up venues the girls can get into at ages 15 and 13. Old Ironsides is no longer one of them. “We used to play Old Ironsides all the time. Now we can’t,” Lucy says. As youngsters daydream about the 21-and-over venues where they one day hope to watch shows, the Giles sisters daydream about the venues they would want to play if they were of age. The Roxy Theatre or Whisky A Go-Go in Los Angeles, says Lucy unabashedly. All in good time, we can hope. The girls make it clear that music is a crucial part of their Dog Party will celebrate life—not just a phase. the release of P.A.R.T.Y!!! at Gwendolyn acknowledges that Luigi’s Fungarden on Dec. she will likely go to college in the 30. Also playing will be Kepi Ghoulie and Nacho Business. future. But her intentions remain P.A.R.T.Y!!! will be available the same. on CD and pink vinyl! For more info, look up the “We will play forever,” band on Facebook, or go to she says. Dogpartyrocks.tumblr.com. SubmergeMag.com

R U D O Y A 3 0 E 8 3 R 1 E 4 H 6) 4 ge r e bm

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Issue 100 • December 12, 2011 – January 2, 2012

904 15th Street 443.2797

Between I & J • Downtown Sacramento

Dec. 12 –jan. 2 submergemag.com/calendar

December TUES

Hans EbErbacH 5:30PM 13 LEw Fratistrio 9PM WED acoustic oPEn Mic 5:30PM 14 Fruition 9PM X trio 5PM THURS 15 JELLy brEad 9PM PaiLEr & Fratis 5:30PM FRI 9PM 16 JoHnny Guitar KnoX 5PM SaT 17 9PM SUn aaronKinGandFriEnds4PM 18 bonE MacdonaLd8PM biLL MyLar 5:30PM TUES 20 diPPin’saucE9PM WED acoustic oPEn Mic 5:30PM 21 GoLdEncadiLLacs9PM X trio 5PM THURS

soLsa

tHE nibbLErs

HarLEywHitEJr.

FRI

PaiLEr & Fratis 5:30PM 9PM JoHnny Guitar KnoX 5PM

FEat.aaron KinG9PM

23 Mr.dEcEMbEr SaT

diPPin’saucE 24 cHristMas sHow9PM TUES

WED

tba5:30PM

isLand oF bLacK &wHitE8PM

acoustic oPEn Mic 5:30PM 28 KEri carr band 9PM X trio 5PM THURS

HarLEywHitEJr.

FRI

PaiLEr & Fratis 5:30PM MErcy ME band! 9PM JoHnny Guitar KnoX 5PM

30 SaT

music, comedy & misc. Calendar

12.12 Monday

The Blue Lamp The Mighty Diamonds, 8:30 p.m. The Boxing Donkey Open Mic Variety Night, 8 p.m. Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m. Fox & Goose Open Mic Night, 7:30 p.m. Luna’s Cafe Nebraska Mondays hosted by Ross Hammond, Drifting Shapes, Bristle, 7:30 p.m. Naked Lounge Downtown Joe Mazzaferro Quintet feat. Jeff Alkire, 8:30 p.m. Powerhouse Pub Karaoke, 9 p.m. Sol Collective Microphone Mondays Open Mic, 6 p.m. The Stoney Inn Open Mic Comedy, 8 p.m.; Karaoke 9 p.m. UC Davis: Studio Theatre Lara Downes Family Concert, 11 a.m. & 1 p.m.

12.13 Tuesday

Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m. Fox & Goose Pub Quiz, Hosted by Morgan, 7 p.m. Harlow’s The Klezmatics, 7 p.m. Marilyn’s Acoustic Open Mic, 8 p.m. Naked Lounge Downtown Annie Jay, Ifamadupe, 8:30 p.m. Old Ironsides Karaoke, 9 p.m. Powerhouse Pub DJs Rigatony, Alazzawi, 9 p.m. Press Club FFFreak w/ CrookOne, DJ Hailey, Dogtones, 9:30 p.m.

Red Hawk Casino Summer of Love, 7 p.m. Shine Reggae Happy Hour, 6 p.m.; Jazz Jam, 8 p.m. Sol Collective Youth DJ Class, 4 p.m. The Stoney Inn Blue Bird Lounge Singer/Songwriter, 5 p.m.; Karaoke Contest, 6 p.m. T2 Nightclub & Lounge Karaoke, 9 p.m. Torch Club Hans Eberbach, 5:30 p.m.; Lew Fratis Trio, 9 p.m. UC Davis: Studio Theatre Lara Downes Family Concert, 11 a.m. ZuhG Life Store Open Mic, 6 p.m.

12.14 Wednesday

Club Car The Double Shots, 7:30 p.m. Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m. District 30 Masters of Style w/ DJ Elements, fashion show by Maisha Bahati, 9 p.m. Dive Bar Chris Clouse, 9 p.m. Fox & Goose Tara Tinsley, 8 p.m. Laughs Unlimited Karaoke w/ Jeff & John, 8 p.m. Marilyn’s Work it Off Wednesdays w/ Mr P Chill and Trunk of Funk, 9 p.m. Mix DJ Scene, 9 p.m. The Momo Lounge Vintage Reggae Night w/ DJ Hype, 10 p.m. Naked Lounge Downtown Reciprocity, Eric Spencer, Gimmie 5, 8:30 p.m. Old Ironsides Open Mic w/ host Lare Crawley, 8:30 p.m. The Park Ultra Lounge DJ Scene, DJ Peeti V, 9 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub White Minorities, Restrayned, Revolver, 9 p.m. Red Hawk Casino Summer of Love, 7 p.m. Torch Club Acoustic Open Mic, 5:30 p.m.; Fruition, 9 p.m. Uncle Vitos (Davis) Boom Bip w/ The Flower Vato, 10 p.m.

12.15 thursday

Ace of Spades How the Grouch Stole Christmas w/ The Grouch, Zion I, Eligh, Evidence, J. Stalin, DJ Fresh, 6 p.m The Blue Lamp The Turntable Express DJ Extravaganza w/ The Sleeprockers, Rated R, Mr. Vibe, Nocturnal, Wanted, Kwess the Bess, Lahn, Oasis, Gyver, Lahn, Whores, Oasis, Jun, 9 p.m. Club Car Songwriters Showcase, 8 p.m. Club Retro Aurora, Tyler Davin, 7 p.m. The Coffee Garden Open Mic Night, 8 p.m. Crocker Art Museum Autumn Sky, 7 p.m. District 30 I Love House w/ R3hab, Ron Reeser, 9 p.m. Dive Bar Dueling Pianos, 9 p.m. Fox & Goose Poetic Justis, 8 p.m. Golden Bear DJ Shaun Slaughter’s Revolving Party, 10 p.m. Harlow’s Two Gallants, Magic Trick, 8 p.m. Marilyn’s Rock On Live Band Karaoke, 9 p.m. Memorial Auditorium Mannheim Steamroller, 7:30 p.m. Naked Lounge Downtown Music Room, Grayson Kessenich, James Cavern, 8:30 p.m.

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Old Ironsides Bluegrass Acoustic Jam, 7:30 p.m. Powerhouse Pub Chris Gardner, 9:30 p.m. Red Hawk Casino Summer of Love, 7 p.m. Shine Open Mic Night, 7 p.m. The Stoney Inn The Brodie Stewart Band, 9 p.m. Thunder Valley Casino Resort Jingle Bell Rock w/ Eddie Money, Lou Gramm, Mickey Thomas, 8 p.m. Torch Club X Trio, 5 p.m.; JellyBread, 9 p.m. UC Davis: Jackson Hall Blind Boys of Alabama Christmas Show, 8 p.m.

12.16 Friday

Ace of Spades Submerge Magazine’s 100th Issue Party w/ Sister Crayon, Tera Melos, Ganglians, ZuhG, Random Abiladeze feat. DJ Rated R, Early States, DJ Blackheart, 6 p.m., $12 adv., $14 door The Blue Lamp Jetsinns, Cockfight Kings, Swamp Angel, 9 p.m. The Boardwalk Official Response, North Bound Train, Simpl3jack, 7 p.m. Bows and Arrows Hearts+Horses (CD Release), Afternoon Teacup Collection, Randy McKean, 8 p.m. Capitol Garage Get Down to the Champion Sound w/ DJ Esef and special guests, 10 p.m. Center for the Arts Drew Harrison (John Lennon tribute), 8 p.m. Club Retro The Pulse Agency Presents “Christmas Chaos 2011,” 5 p.m.

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Issue 100 • December 12, 2011 – January 2, 2012

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

District 30 Louie Giovanni, Benji Lugo, 9 p.m. Fox & Goose Kevin Seconds and Friends, 9 p.m. Golden Bear DJ Crook, 10 p.m. Harlow’s Notorious, 10 p.m. Javalounge The Dry Creek Rounders, 7:30 p.m. Luigi’s Fungarden Buster Blue, The Kelps, Tumbleweed Wanderers, 8:30 p.m. Luna’s Cafe Richie Lawrence & The Yolos, Parker McDonald, 8 p.m. Marilyn’s Chameleon (Santana tribute), 9:30 p.m. Mix DJ Elliott Estes, 9 p.m. Naked Lounge Downtown Doghouse, Julianna Zachariou, Jen Rogar, 8:30 p.m. Old Ironsides Dry Country Drinkers, Bleedin’ Hearts, Mike Blanchard & The Californias, 9 p.m. O’Mallys Irish Pub Ricky n Del, E Squared, 9 p.m. Powerhouse Pub Cheeseballs, 10 p.m. Press Club DJ Rue, 9 p.m. Red Hawk Casino Ryan Hernandez, 5 p.m.; Audioboxx, 10 p.m. Shenanigans Toys For Tots Benefit Show w/ Metal Health, Todd Morgan and The Emblems, Bypassing Oblivion, Insomnia, 7 p.m. Shine The Bell Boys, James Cavern, Heros Last Mission, Kenzy, D.DatPop, Soosh*e, Mason and Spencer Hoffman (of Honyock), 6 p.m. Sol Collective Chuuwee, Illecism, Soosh*E, JoEl The Barbarian, TBC, Project4Trees, Abby James, DJ Flow, DJ Amp One, hosted by Miss Special, 8 p.m. The Stoney Inn Country DJ Dancing, Line Dance Lesson, 7:30 Torch Club Pailer & Fratis, 5:30 p.m.; Solsa, 9 p.m. Vega’s Instagon, EGG, The Old Screen Door, 9 p.m. ZuhG Life Store Kelly Rogers, Devin Farren & Samuel McCleud, The Holiday Trumpecheers, 4 p.m.

Club Retro Shades Of Devastation, Legions Requiem, The Battle of Midway, Failed Creation, Escalon, Taunis Year One, 7 p.m. District 30 Danny Mijangos, 9 p.m. Fox & Goose Norfolk Jacket, The Polymers, 9 p.m. Golden Bear Sweaty w/ DJ Whores, 10 p.m. Harlow’s DJ Hype’s Birthday Bash w/ Spragga Benz, Jimmie Reign, Jay-5, Native Star, 10 p.m. Harrah’s Lake Tahoe Night Ranger, 7:30 p.m. Javalounge One More Last Try, Cold Heart Re-Press, Dry Creek Rounders, The Carbonites, 8 p.m. Laughs Unlimited The 8 Tracks, 4 p.m. Luigi’s Fungarden Garrett Pierce, Houndstooth, Fine Steps, 8:30 p.m. Luna’s Cafe Kurt Travis, Sam Stern, 8 p.m. Marilyn’s Chuck’s 5th Annual Bad Santa Party w/ DJ Bryan Hawk, 9 p.m. Naked Lounge Downtown The Nickel Slots, 8:30 p.m. Old Ironsides ‘80s Goth Night, 9 p.m. Powerhouse Pub Motley Inc, Atomic Punks, 10 p.m. Press Club DJ Larry Rodriguez, 9 p.m. The Radison: In the Grove A Peter White Christmas feat. Mindi Abair, Kirk Whalum, 6:30 p.m. Red Hawk Casino Ryan Hernandez, 5 p.m.; Audioboxx, 10 p.m. Shenanigans The 209 All Stars, 9 p.m. Shine Absolute Rubbish, 99, 100, 8 p.m. Sol Collective Pregnant, Carson McWhirter, Al Maxwell, 8:30 p.m. The Stoney Inn Dance Step Workshop, 5:30 p.m.; DJ Charlee Simons, 9 p.m. Torch Club Johnny Guitar Knox, 5 p.m.; The Nibblers, 9 p.m. ZuhG Life Store Ralph Gordan, David Hafter, The Holiday Trumpecheers, 1 p.m.

Laughs Unlimited Hired Guns, 3 p.m. Mix DJ Gabe Xavier, 8:30 p.m. Naked Lounge Downtown T-Dub & The Internationals, Johnathan Michealsen, 8:30 p.m. Powerhouse Pub Blue Christmas for Kids, 2 p.m.; Blues Jam, 7 p.m. Press Club Sunday Night Soul Party w/ DJ Larry & DJ Hailey, 9 p.m. Red Hawk Casino Erin McKinney, 7 p.m. Sol Collective Sol Holiday Fiesta & Mercadito, 12 p.m. The Stoney Inn Country DJ Dancing, 8 p.m. Torch Club Aaron King and Friends, 4 p.m.; Bone MacDonald, 8 p.m. UC Davis: Jackson Hall American Bach Soloists, 4 p.m. ZuhG Life Store Cave Women, 3 p.m.

12.19 monday

Bows and Arrows Tracy Shedd, Desario, Allen Clapp & His Orchestra, 8 p.m. The Boxing Donkey Open Mic Variety Night, 8 p.m. Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m. Fox & Goose Open Mic Night, 7:30 p.m. Javalounge SS Kaliert, Verbal Abuse, Embrace the Kill, Crusades, 6 p.m. Luna’s Cafe Nebraska Mondays hosted by Ross Hammond, 7:30 p.m. Naked Lounge Downtown Joe Mazzaferro Quintet feat. Xmas Little Big Band, 8:30 p.m. Powerhouse Pub Karaoke, 9 p.m. Press Club KillDevil, Company, Divers, Der Spazm, 9 p.m. Shenanigans Downtown Top Ranking Reggae w/ DJ I-Lone, DJ ESEF, Selector Lou, 10 p.m. Sol Collective Microphone Mondays Open Mic, 6 p.m. The Stoney Inn Karaoke, 9 p.m.

12.17 12.18 12.20 saturday

sunday

tuesday

Ace of Spades Streetlight Manifesto, Reel Big Fish, Lionize, Rodeo Ruby Love, 6 p.m. Beatnik Studios Prieta (Farewell Show), Lite Brite, GGM, The Kelps, The Phantom Jets, Reggie Ginn, Marcus Cortez 8:30 p.m. The Blue Lamp Continental (Rick Barton of Drop Kick Murphys), City Of Vain, Whiskey & Stitches, 8:30 p.m. The Boardwalk Apt D203, The Phur Soles, Oh the Trio, Classic Black, Chad, 7 p.m. The Boxing Donkey Blackeyed Dempseys, 9 p.m. Bows and Arrows MET Music Program Fundraiser w/ Justin Farren, Shayna and the Bulldog, Parie Wood, 8 p.m.

Artisan Building Pusha T, Xuice Hades (Illecism), Chuuwee, Noah, JoeL, DJs Daims & ChriSurpreme, 7 p.m. The Blue Lamp The Belltones, Workin’ Stiffs, Pressure Point, Factory Minds, 8:30 p.m. Capitol Garage Karaoke w/ Jeff Jenkins, 9 p.m. Distillery Karaoke, 8 p.m. Dive Bar Clash of the iPods, 9 p.m. Harlow’s Al Stewart, Dave Nachmanoff, 7 p.m. Javalounge Sacramento Audio Waffle #33 w/ Instagon, Medicine Cabinet, One Infinite Loop, Wes Steed & Kevin Corcoran, Smite!, 12 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m. Old Ironsides Karaoke, 9 p.m. Powerhouse Pub DJs Rigatony, Alazzawi, 9 p.m. Press Club FFFreak w/ CrookOne, DJ Hailey, Dogtones, 9:30 p.m. Red Hawk Casino Fresh, 7 p.m. Shine Reggae Happy Hour, 6 p.m.; Jazz Jam, 8 p.m. Sol Collective Youth DJ Class, 4 p.m. The Stoney Inn Blue Bird Lounge Singer/Songwriter, 5 p.m.; Karaoke Contest, 6 p.m. T2 Nightclub & Lounge Karaoke, 9 p.m. Torch Club Bill Mylar, 5:30 p.m.; Dippin’ Sauce, 9 p.m. ZuhG Life Store Open Mic, 6 p.m.

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Issue 100 • December 12, 2011 – January 2, 2012

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

12.21 wednesday

Club Car The Double Shots, 7:30 p.m. Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m. District 30 Bass Hits Hard w/ 3AM, DJ Ritz, 9 p.m. Fox & Goose Steve McLane’s Christmas Bash, 8 p.m. Laughs Unlimited Karaoke w/ Jeff & Dawn, 8 p.m. Luigi’s Fungarden Shannon Curtis, 8 p.m. Luna’s Cafe Good Shield, Brianna Pruett, Lady Lazarus, 8 p.m. The Momo Lounge Vintage Reggae Night w/ DJ Hype, 10 p.m. Naked Lounge Downtown Truth of Mars, Majesty, Adrian Bourgeois, 8:30 p.m. Old Ironsides Open Mic w/ host Lare Crawley, 8:30 p.m. Power Balance Pavilion Punk Rock Christmas Massacre w/ A.D.D, The Left Hand, Danny Secretion & The Shitty Ramones, 9 p.m. Press Club Riot Radio, The Shell Corporation, Cold Heart Re-Press, 8:30 p.m. Red Hawk Casino Fresh, 7 p.m. Torch Club Acoustic Open Mic, 5:30 p.m.; Golden Cadillacs, 9 p.m. Uncle Vitos (Davis) Boom Bip w/ The Flower Vato, 10 p.m.

12.22 thursday

The Blue Lamp Dads LP (members of Blue Turtle Seduction, 2Me), 9 p.m. The Boardwalk Big Bang, 7 p.m. Club Car Songwriters Showcase, 8 p.m. The Coffee Garden Open Mic Night, 8 p.m. District 30 I Love House w/ Lazy Rich, Jeff Thompson 9 p.m. Dive Bar Dueling Pianos, 9 p.m. Fox & Goose Ian McGlone, 8 p.m. Golden Bear DJ Shaun Slaughter’s Revolving Party, 10 p.m.

SubmergeMag.com

Harlow’s Who Cares, Little Foxes, 9 p.m. Javalounge Passage Walkers, Bastards of Young, Union Hearts, Dead Dads, 8 p.m. Luigi’s Fungarden The Speed of Sound in Seawater, Hail the Sun, Former Animals, 7:30 p.m. Naked Lounge Downtown Whiskey Savage, Erin McKinney, 8:30 p.m. Old Ironsides Red Velvet Kiss, Jeffery Weathers, 9 p.m. Powerhouse Pub Whiskey Dawn, 9:30 p.m. Press Club Playboy School, Musical Charis, ZuhG, 9 p.m. Red Hawk Casino Fresh, 7 p.m. Shenanigans Reggae Night, 10:30 p.m. Shine Open Mic Night, 7 p.m. The Stoney Inn Buck Ford 10 p.m. Torch Club X Trio, 5 p.m.; Harley White Jr. feat. Aaron King, 9 p.m.

12.23 Friday

Ace of Spades Rock For Tots VI w/ Lonely Kings, Dogfood, A Single Second, I’m Dirty Too, Street Urchinz, 6:30 p.m. The Blue Lamp Hellbound Glory, 9 p.m. The Boardwalk Calling All Survivors, Jaxx, Grady Finch, Straight Up Grizzly, No Way Out, 7 p.m. Capitol Garage Get Down to the Champion Sound w/ DJ Esef and special guests, 10 p.m. Fox & Goose A Very Twangy X-Mas w/ The Dry Creek Rounders, The Bathtub Gins, 8 p.m. Golden Bear DJ Crook, 10 p.m. Harlow’s Harlows Annual Christmas Party w/ GDP, 10 p.m. Javalounge Cat & Mouse Trio, Cowboys & Indians, Odd Moniker, 8 p.m. Luna’s Cafe Anton Barbeau, Allyson Seconds & Bag O’ Kittens, Kepi, 8 p.m. Marilyn’s Cuesta Drive, Relic 45, Trevor Meneses Band, 9:30 p.m. Mix DJ Elliott Estes, 9 p.m. Old Ironsides John & the Pauls, Ghost River, 9 p.m.

On The Y Festivus for the Rest of Us w/ Larry David, At Dawn, Rotten Funeral, Nunfuck, John the Cannibal, Human Obliteration, 8 p.m. Powerhouse Pub Wonderbread 5, 10 p.m. Press Club DJ Rue, 9 p.m. Red Hawk Casino ESP Trio, 5 p.m.; Steel Breeze, 10 p.m. Shenanigans Bound, Groovy Judy, Sovern, 8 p.m. Torch Club Pailer & Fratis, 5:30 p.m.; Mr. December, 9 p.m. ZuhG Life Store Mr. Rogers, David Hafter, Zebulon, Groovy Judy, 4 p.m.

12.24 saturday

Club 21 Club Reverence w/ DJs Panic, Chattnoir, Skarkrow, 9:30 p.m. District 30 X-Mas Eve Bash w/ DJ Nate D, 9 p.m. Golden Bear Sweaty w/ DJ Whores, 10 p.m. Press Club DJ Larry Rodriguez, 9 p.m. Red Hawk Casino ESP Trio, 5 p.m.; Steel Breeze, 10 p.m. The Stoney Inn Karaoke, 8 p.m. Torch Club Johnny Guitar Knox, 5 p.m.; Dippin’ Sauce Christmas Show, 9 p.m. ZuhG Life Store X-Mas Eve Show w/ Now Faith Youth Choir, 4 p.m.

12.25 sunday

Harlow’s Christmas Show w/ Arden Park Roots, 9 p.m. Harrah’s Lake Tahoe The Sun Kings (Beatles tribute), 7:30 p.m. Mix Bah! Humbug Party w/ DJ Gabe Xavier, 8:30 p.m. The Momo Lounge The Gift w/ DJ Racer X, 9 p.m. Red Hawk Casino Tom Drinnon, 7 p.m.

12.26 monday

The Boxing Donkey Open Mic Variety Night, 8 p.m. Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m. Fox & Goose Open Mic Night, 7:30 p.m. Luna’s Cafe Nebraska Mondays hosted by Ross Hammond, 7:30 p.m. Naked Lounge Downtown Joe Mazzaferro Quintet, feat. Karl Kerfoot, 8:30 p.m. Sol Collective Microphone Mondays Open Mic, 6 p.m. The Stoney Inn Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Javalounge DCOI, Side Effects, Excreta, 7 p.m. Laughs Unlimited Karaoke w/ Jeff & Dawn, 8 p.m. The Momo Lounge Vintage Reggae Night w/ DJ Hype, 10 p.m. Naked Lounge Downtown Jacosa Lava, Kolorgize, Jesi Naomi, 8:30 p.m. Old Ironsides Open Mic w/ host Lare Crawley, 8:30 p.m. Powerhouse Pub Element of Soul, Dogwood, Low Tide Riot, 9 p.m. Red Hawk Casino Chris Gardner, 7 p.m. Torch Club Acoustic Open Mic, 5:30 p.m.; Keri Carr Band, 9 p.m. Uncle Vitos (Davis) Boom Bip w/ The Flower Vato, 10 p.m.

12.27 12.29 tuesday

Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m. Laughs Unlimited Karaoke w/ Jeff & Dawn, 8 p.m. Old Ironsides Karaoke, 9 p.m. Powerhouse Pub DJs Rigatony, Alazzawi, 9 p.m. Press Club FFFreak w/ CrookOne, DJ Hailey, Dogtones, 9:30 p.m. Red Hawk Casino Chris Gardner, 7 p.m. Shine Reggae Happy Hour, 6 p.m.; Jazz Jam, 8 p.m. Sol Collective Youth DJ Class, 4 p.m. The Stoney Inn Blue Bird Lounge Singer/Songwriter, 5 p.m.; Karaoke, 9 p.m. T2 Nightclub & Lounge Karaoke, 9 p.m. Torch Club Island of Black & White, 8 p.m. ZuhG Life Store Open Mic, Jesi Naomi, 6 p.m.

12.28 wednesday

Club Car The Double Shots, 7:30 p.m. Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m. Fox & Goose Traditional Irish Jam Session, 7 p.m.

thursday

Bows and Arrows DoofyDoo (CD Release), Les Fine Steps, Sheepeaters, 8 p.m. Club Car Songwriters Showcase, 8 p.m. Club Retro Taylor Fine, Jacob David, Devin Wright, Leila Morphy, Nathan Parrish, 6 p.m. The Coffee Garden Open Mic Night, 8 p.m. Dive Bar Dueling Pianos, 9 p.m. Fox & Goose The World’s Finest Apples, Parlour Jazz, 8 p.m. Golden Bear DJ Shaun Slaughter’s Revolving Party, 10 p.m. Harlow’s X, Sean Wheeler & Zander Schloss, Black Tibetans, 7:30 p.m. Haven Underground Deadbeats, Harry and the Hitmen, 8:30 p.m. Old Ironsides Dirty Stomp, Stoneberry, 9 p.m. Powerhouse Pub Frankie Ballard, 9:30 p.m. Red Hawk Casino Chris Gardner, 7 p.m. Shenanigans Reggae Night, 10:30 p.m. Shine Open Mic Night, 7 p.m. The Stoney Inn Line Dance Lesson, 5 p.m; Cliff Huey & The 27 Outlaws, 10 p.m. Torch Club X Trio, 5 p.m.; Harley White Jr. feat. Aaron King, 9 p.m.

12.30 Friday

Ace of Spades Wallpaper, Los Rakas, Chaotic Fusion feat. !nkDup & DJ Oasis, 7 p.m. The Boardwalk Serpent & Seraph, Switchblade Frankie, Giving the Devil His Due, Overwatch, The Bar Fly Effect, The Scowndrolls, 7 p.m. Cache Creek Casino Tommy Castro, 8:30 p.m. Capitol Garage Get Down to the Champion Sound w/ DJ Esef and special guests, 10 p.m. Center for the Arts Antsy McClain & The Trailer Park Troubadours, 8 p.m. Club Retro My Beautiful Surrender, Love Is, 7 p.m. Fox & Goose Anton Barbeau, Corner Laughers, 9 p.m. Golden Bear DJ Crook, 10 p.m. Harlow’s The Nibblers, The Coalition, 10 p.m. Harrah’s Lake Tahoe Bruce Hornsby, 7:30 p.m. Luigi’s Fungarden Dog Party, Kepi, Nacho Business, 8:30 p.m. Mix DJ Elliott Estes, 9 p.m. MontBleu Resort Casino The Cataracs, 8 p.m. Naked Lounge Downtown Fifty Watt Heavy, Blame the Bishop, Arbor Point 8:30 p.m. Old Ironsides T Dubb & the Internationals, Simple Creation, EZ Dubb, 9 p.m. Powerhouse Pub Rockin Down the Hiway, 10 p.m. Press Club DJ Rue, 9 p.m. Red Hawk Casino Kyle Williams Trio, 5 p.m.; Chris Gardner, 10 p.m. Shenanigans Rise from Within, Silence Of The Grimm, Some Seek Forgiveness, 8 p.m. Torch Club Pailer & Fratis, 5:30 p.m.; Mercy Me Band!, 9 p.m. ZuhG Life Store ZuhG (Acoustic), 5 p.m.

Issue 100 • December 12, 2011 – January 2, 2012

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Issue 100 • December 12, 2011 – January 2, 2012

95825

m o n - S a t 11 - 7 p m • S U n 1 2 - 5 p m

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

12.31 saturday

Ace of Spades Mickey Avalon, Big Chocolate, Richard the Rockstar, 7 p.m. Barcode Nightclub & Lounge New Year’s Eve w/ DJ Snoop-E, DJ Billy Lane, 9 p.m. The Boardwalk Frank Hannon (of Tesla), Freightline, Lenny Dean, 7:30 p.m. Bows and Arrows New Years Eve Pre-party, 8 p.m. Capitol Garage NYE 2012 Downtown Sacramento Celebration Massive w/ DJ Esef, DJ System1, TT Kodac Visualz, Blaquelisted, Task1, Adrian Bellue, DJ Mosean, DJ Vangloryus, The Storytellers, 10 p.m. Club Retro Klub Kaoss, 6:30 p.m. District 30 New Year 2012 w/ DJ Serafin, 9 p.m. Fox & Goose New Years Eve Party w/ Larry Rodriguez, 9 p.m. G Streeet Wunderbar Restrayned, Suckerpunch, Metal Health, 8 p.m. Golden Bear Sweaty w/ DJ Whores, 10 p.m. Harlow’s Utz and The Shuttlecocks (Final Show), 8 p.m. Laughs Unlimited New Years Eve Party w/ Four Barrel, 10 p.m. Luigi’s Fungarden Lite Brite, Musical Charis, Mondo Decco, The Trees, 8:30 p.m. Marilyn’s New Years Eve w/ Mother Hips, Huckle, 9 p.m. Naked Lounge Downtown Isaac Bear, Tao Jiriki, Eyelid Helix, 8:30 p.m. Old Ironsides Lipstick w/ Shaun Slaughter, Roger Carpio, 9 p.m. The Park Ultra Lounge DJ Peeti V, 9 p.m. Powerhouse Pub Superlicious New Years Eve Bash, 10 p.m. Press Club DJ Larry Rodriguez, 9 p.m. Red Hawk Casino Tyler Brothers Band, 5 p.m.; Whiskey Dawn, 10 p.m. Social Old Hollywood New Year’s Eve w/ DJ JB, DJ Nate D, 10 p.m. The Stoney Inn New Year’s Eve Bash, 7:30 p.m. Thunder Valley Casino Resort The Beach Boys, 10 p.m. Torch Club Johnny Guitar Knox, 5 p.m.; New Years Eve w/ John Nemeth, 9 p.m. Vega’s New Year’s Garbage Extravaganza w/ Cockfight Kings, live burlesque by the Honey Dolls and Irene My Belle, 10 p.m.

1.01 sunday

Cache Creek Casino Journey Unauthorized, 8 p.m. Capitol Garage Karaoke w/ Jeff Jenkins, 9 p.m. Distillery Karaoke, 8 p.m. Dive Bar Clash of the iPods, 9 p.m. Hyatt Regency Sacramento DJ

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Rated R, the Cheeseballs, Quinn Hedges, Ryan Hernandez, 8 p.m. Press Club Sunday Night Soul Party w/ DJ Larry & DJ Hailey, 9 p.m. Torch Club NYE Hangover Party!, 2 p.m.

1.02 monday

The Boxing Donkey Open Mic Variety Night, 8 p.m. Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m. Fox & Goose Open Mic Night, 7:30 p.m. Luna’s Cafe Nebraska Mondays hosted by Ross Hammond, 7:30 p.m. Powerhouse Pub Karaoke, 9 p.m. Shenanigans Downtown Top Ranking Reggae w/ Young Aundee, DJ ESEF, Selector Lou, 10 p.m. Sol Collective Microphone Mondays Open Mic, 6 p.m.

Comedy Harlow’s 1 Annual Capitol Comedy Competition, Dec. 14, 21 & 28, 9 p.m. Laughs Unlimited David Raibon, Skip Clark, Dec. 15 - 18, Thurs., 8 p.m.; Fri. & Sat., 8 p.m. & 10:30 p.m.; Sun., 7 p.m. Best of Open Mic Showcase, Dec. 20, 8 p.m. E Clark, Phat Joe, Shane Murphy, Dec. 22 - 23, Thurs., 8 p.m.; Fri., 8 p.m. & 10:30 p.m. Mark G, Tristan Johnson, Dec. 29 - 31, Thurs., 8 p.m.; Fri., 8 p.m. & 10:30 p.m.; Sat., 6 p.m. & 8:30 p.m. Luna’s Cafe Keith Lowell Jensen’s Comedy Night, every Wednesday, 8 p.m. Marilyn’s On K Late Night Recreation Comedy Troupe, Dec. 15, 9 p.m. MontBleu Resort Casino Daniel Tosh, Dec. 16 - 17, 8 p.m. Naked Lounge Downtown World’s Worst Doctors Comedy Improv, Dec. 29, 8:30 p.m. Po’Boyz Bar & Grill Comedy Open Mic, every Monday, 9 p.m. Punchline Comedy Club Dennis Gaxiola, Steve Mazan, Lynn Ruth Miller, Dec. 15 - 18, Thurs., 8 p.m.; Fri., 8 p.m. & 10 p.m.; Sat., 7 p.m. & 9:30 p.m., Sun., 8 p.m. Filipino Kingz Comedy Show, Dec. 21, 8 p.m. Flips and Beaners Comedy Jam, Dec. 22, 8 p.m. Cockyasians Comedy Tour, Dec. 23, 8 p.m. Ngaio Bealum, Chris Garcia, Caitlin Gill, Dec. 28., 8 p.m. Dave Attell, Dec. 29 - 30, Thurs., 8 p.m.; Fri., 8 p.m. & 10 p.m. The Sklar Brothers, Dec 31, 8 p.m. & 10 p.m. Sacramento Comedy Sportz Mayhem Improv Comedy, every Thursday, 9 p.m. ComedySportz, every Friday & Saturday, 8 p.m. Sacramento Comedy Spot st

Improv 1 Continuous, 7 p.m.; Harold Night, 9 p.m., Dec. 14, 21 & 28 Improv 1 Continuous, 7 p.m.; Cage Match, 9 p.m., Dec. 15, 22 & 29 Stand Up Shoot Out, Dec. 16, 8 p.m. Lady Business, 8 p.m.; Anti Cooperation League, 9 p.m., Dec. 17 Open Mic Scramble, Dec. 18, 7 p.m. A Very Special Comedy Spot Christmas, Dec. 23, 9 p.m. Johnny Taylor Presents Comedy Kill, Dec. 30, 9 p.m. Anti Cooperation League, 9 p.m.; New Years Eve Party, 10:30 p.m. The Stoney Inn Comedy Open Mic, every Monday, 8 p.m., Dec. 31 Tommy T’s Mitch Franco, Dec 14, 7:30 p.m. Brad Williams, Dec. 15 - 18, Thurs., 7:30 p.m.; Fri. & Sat., 7:30 p.m. & 9:30 p.m.; Sun., 7 p.m. Jason Resler, Dec. 21 - 23, Wed., 7:30 p.m.; Thurs., 7:30 p.m., Fri., 7:30 p.m. & 9:30 p.m.

Misc Blue Cue Trivia Night, every Wednesday, 8 p.m. Bows & ArrowsNerd Night feat. Magic, the Gathering and Catan, Dec. 15, 8 p.m. The Boxing Donkey Trivia Night, every Tuesday, 8 p.m. California Museum Riding Concrete: Skateboarding in California curated by Z-Boy Nathan Pratt, now through March, 2012 Crest Theatre Trash Film Orgy Xmas 2011, Dec. 17, 10 p.m. Crocker Art Museum Movies on a Big Screen: Santa vs Satan, Dec. 22,7 p.m. Fox & Goose Pub Quiz, every Tuesday, 7 p.m. Golden Bear Random Knowledge Trivia Night, every Wednesday, 8 p.m. The Guild Theatre Movies on a Big Screen: The Christmas Martian, Dec. 18, 7:30 p.m.; Miracle on 34th Street, Dec. 22, 4 p.m.; The Nightmare Before Christmas, Dec. 29, 7 p.m. Luna’s Cafe Poetry Unplugged, every Thursday, 8 p.m. MAIYA Gallery A Leap of Faith feat. work by Mary Czechan Coldren, Barbara De Wein, Maureen Hood, Kerstin Ronsiek, Marilyn Torchin and more, through Dec. 24 Powerhouse Pub Trivia Night, every Monday, 8 p.m. Shine Poetry with Legs feat. Mario Ellis Hall, Dec. 14, 7 p.m. Streets of Soul: Live Art and Live Music, Dec. 16, 6 p.m. Sol Collective ...and I’m Whistling As Beautifully As I Can by Trent Liddicoat, opening reception Dec. 17, 7 p.m. The Sterling Hotel Ballroom The Sizzling Sirens Present: Blue Collar Burlesque!, Dec. 23, 8 p.m.

read often. your brain will thank you.

Issue 100 • December 12, 2011 – January 2, 2012

Say It Again, Sam… Some of our favorite quotes of the past four years

In the grand scheme of things, four years and 100 issues may not ultimately seem like a whole lot. Yet, in that short time, we’ve already been lucky to have some amazing interviews with artists, musicians and comedians at various levels of their careers. From mega-huge pop stars to local bands readying their first CDs; from installation artists to stand-up comedians, every one had a story to tell. We were just happy to share them with you. Here is a sort of scrap book of Country music is not something you can some of our favorite pull quotes from our pretend to like. You don’t like it because it’s interviews, dating all the way back to cool. Either it hits you in the heart or it doesn’t. issue no. 1. – Tim White, The Alkali Flats

For all the drinking and partying and shit that you do, you gotta take vitamins and drink tea and try to get out of the van and walk— get some exercise, Like a lot of cats on the East Coast think I’m wack, you know? and the reason is because – Matt Pike, you can’t comprehend High on Fire

I’m not going to be one of those people who sits back and regrets wasting my life on drinking and partying in college.

Music is this drug, and you want to try all different types of them. It’s like sex, you know, it’s like you do it the same way over and over and it just gets boring, so you’ve got to flip it up, put a wig on her, hit it doggy style. Switch it up. – Jacoby Shaddix, Papa Roach

If a guy’s really skillful, but his tracks are just I don’t begin with the what you don’t know. And idea of a show at all. I horrid, I don’t care have these weird useless if you don’t know, how can You can’t say, because – Autumn Sky to listen to his skill. discarded items I play you comprehend it? someone doesn’t want with. I’m curious about Yngwie Malmsteem You know what I mean? It to have a war, that they don’t support the them. I do things to goes over their heads like can play guitar solos – Jake troops. You can’t say it. You may have been them like burn them or a flying saucer. soak them in water or able to say it during the Vietnam era, but for fucking 30 minutes, Desrochers, – E-40 break them apart. I look you can’t say it anymore. but I’m not going to Lonely Kings at them. I move It doesn’t hold. It holds no dance to it. There are a few good eggs them around. I I don’t like clean, stack them. I lay out there, but there is just water. It’s a myth. It’s a lie. – Steve Aoki them on my bed – Lewis Black orderly countries with something about music. Think of the expected rewards, like sex and drugs and money, it’s going to attract certain kinds of people. – Matt Ferro, Roman Funerals

I’m not one to write songs about drinking beers and chasing pussy, because that’s not really what I do... at least not in a long time. – Les Claypool

I’ve had a lot of people tell me that my rhyme style reminds them of Dr. Seuss. I don’t know if that’s a diss or not. I have never denied my – The Grouch

faith and have had record offers pulled from the table because of what I believe, but I didn’t grow up in the church, and honestly still don’t fit in most so-called churches. I honestly believe with every ounce of my being that the American church is so tied up in the political power agenda that it misses everything Jesus said. – Brian Hanover, The Hanover Saints

I got a son who is 14. He thinks I’m the Dave Matthews of hip-hop…in a bad way. – Slug, Atmosphere

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cuts 14 hair Straight Razor Shaves $16

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We’ve seen bands come and go. Hell, we’ve seen genres come and go.

Issue 100 • December 12, 2011 – January 2, 2012

– Anthony Bourdain

I don’t blame Led Zeppelin for Whitesnake, and I don’t want to be blamed for Fall Out Boy.

– Jonah Matranga, Far

g events upcomin

day r w/ tuespy hou -8pm reggae hdap story • 6n e si the in m w/ jaso Ja zz • Ja s 8pm + & friend galbraith m ay • 7:30p every thursd t h ig n open micduring open mic $2 beers 4 • 7pm ay decfe1 wednewsd gs at. en mic le h it poetry lis hall, plus op mario el • 8pm $5 y dech1, 799,100 saturdtearu is b b absolu $5 7 • 8pbm eois ay jan, ad rian ourg saturd u ea b ar anton b every

so their objectivity seeps into my subconscious before I eat my Corn Flakes in the morning. – Cheri Ibes

no social problems. I like hot, messy, passionate countries.

The Internet is just a place for people to complain. – Wi ll Swan, Dance Gavin Dance

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Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

Sometimes when I record the sets and go back to listen to them, it’s like, ‘Man, that mix really worked.’ Others it really didn’t work, but what it comes down to is if you’re a professional, you can treat it like a jazz musician and play out of it. It’s all what you do with an error. Some DJs don’t know how to bounce back, they flop or they panic and that shows. That’s the difference between me and some DJ who took it up two years ago. – DJ Whores

It’s normal for me to practice interweaving patterns and rhythms, basically not stopping for an hour. I’m improvising in free form, or with form, in and out of time. Whatever I have in How are we ever going to have our my head instantly happens on the own creative class if everybody feels need to leave and go to San drum set without breaks. It’s just they or Portland or Los Angeles my style or whatever. I try to play Francisco to make a living in an arts industry? infinitely... We have to keep – Zach Hill If you’re letting the record be our creative class

They wanted me to follow trends, make another ‘Lollipop.’ I love that song, and no disrespect to [Lil] Wayne, but come on, how are you going to tell me to try to copy s o m e o n e ’s style? – Big Boi

made, and you’re not criticizing it, and you’re not saying what needs to be said, the things you’re afraid to say to your band mates, they’re going to read in the press anyway, so you might as well say them now. I do believe fighting can be a powerful creative tool. – Nic Offer, !!!

here. We have to provide them jobs and we have to provide them venues to showcase their talents so people know about them.

– Trisha Rhomberg, Bows and Arrows

Anarchy isn’t about smashing windows or protesting some global ministerial meeting; it’s actually about being organized and people coming together voluntarily and making independent structures outside of the corporate or governmental spheres. It’s an enduring idea. It’s up to the individual or groups of individuals to make it work for them.

– Krist Novoselic, nirvana

I was branch manager/trainer/operations recruiter for the number one wholesaling plumbing company in the world. Great company. Great people. Couldn’t fucking stand it. – Ellis Rodriguez

I like big compositions with all kinds of layers to tear apart and fall into. I’d be tragically bored in a typical threepiece rock band. – Michael Franzino, A Lot Like Birds

I came to the realization that a lot of the faces of hip-hop these days I do not relate to. I don’t see them as role models or the influential voices that they once were. – Sean La Marr (aka 5th Ave), DLRN

Being a good bartender is all about being humble and making sure that the customer is having a good time. I don’t want anyone to feel like, ‘This guy right here in front of me is amazing and makes all these things that are great.’ I don’t want to be put on a pedestal. I’m not doing as much for society as a teacher or anything. – Jayson Wilde, Bartender

One of my favorite movies is District 9. I feel like we as hip-hop here in Sac are kind of like that. In the movie the aliens are trapped there, and they feel like they have no way out. I kind of feel that way. But at the end one of them escapes wants to cast finally out. I’m trying to really quick. I be the one that that. There have escapes out.

Everybody judgment understand been a lot of lame pop girls – Task1ne who have let us all I don’t want money, I just down. want gold stars. – Katy Perry – Kris Anaya, Doom Bird

Garrett Morgan

Standing On a Bridge

The debut release from Sacramentobased Americana artist AvAilAble viA iTuneS, CdbAby.Com or GArreTTmorGAnmuSiC.Com

SubmergeMag.com

Issue 100 • December 12, 2011 – January 2, 2012

\ thursday

saturday

deC 29

feb 18

(John Doe, exene ceRvenka, billy zoom, dJ bonebrake)

Tix @The beaT, cresT box office, TickeTs.com

Harlow’s • 2708 J sT. • sacTo 21 & over • 7:30pm

cresT THeaTre • 1013 k sT. • sacTo all ages • 7:30pm

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feaT. Talib kweli & res

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TickeTs available aT: The beaT (17Th & J sT.), Dimple RecoRDs, phono-selecT oR online aT: evenTbRiTe.com, TickeTs.com • TickeTs for Harlow’s sHows also available aT Harlows.com www.absTracTsacramenTo.com

Issue 100 • December 12, 2011 – January 2, 2012

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

Submerge’s Top 20 of 2011 In 140 characters or less…

It’s probably trite by now to remind you that fans just don’t consume music the way they used to. That doesn’t necessarily have to be a bad thing. We still enjoy putting on an album and ingesting it en masse, but it’s also fun to put the iTunes on shuffle and let fate decide, troll YouTube for new music videos or share play lists via Spotify. So for this year’s Top 20, we decided to mix things up a bit. Instead of just albums, we included a music video, EPs, live shows (even a comedy album snuck in there). Here’s our favorite music moments of this past year, in tweet-friendly format.

Jason Webley (live show) Beatnik Studios, Sacramento

Thee Oh Sees Carrion Crawler/The Dreamer In The Red

Oct. 30, 2011

When the man on stage thrusts his torso into a giant red balloon and gets the entire audience drunk enough to link arms and sway, you know it’s a good show.

Mike Colossal The Psychodelic Soundsations of Mike Colossal

Reprise

Apprehensive Films

Possibly the local comic’s best work to date, if this album/DVD doesn’t have you rolling on the floor, check your pulse, you might be dead.

The Generationals (live show) Sophia’s Thai Kitchen, Davis

Mastodon ditches spacey prog metal for gnarly bruising metal/ rock hybrid and makes us wonder why they haven’t tried it sooner.

Cousin Fik Hacksaw Ben Thuggin

Sick-Wid-It Records

July 16, 2011

The small porch in Davis provided the perfect environment to fall in love with every up-beat strum from The Generationals.

Hacksaw Ben Thuggin. Period. Fik is a rapper for real. From Halloween concepts, to catchy anthems, his words are precise and full of vigor.

Death Grips Exmilitary

Youth Lagoon Year of Hibernation

The Nickel Slots Five Miles Gone

Under-appreciated experimental rocker Ann Clark dropped the most schizophrenic, bipolar mélange of musical porridge ever stirred into a commercial triumph.

No one expected Oak Park to birth the ingenious production and vocal aggression of Death Grips. Nor expected it to tear down stages worldwide.

Eight tracks of chiming synths and fragile vox swelling into magical crescendos. Trevor Powers gives a taste of hibernation at its best.

Local country-tinged rockers spin 15 songs and something for every mood. Engaging, memorable songwriting at home in any genre.

Third Worlds

DLRN (music video) “...Fallen Heroes” (feat. Iman Malika)

Classic Sacto shots in this Faux Real Productions video. Light rail, top level on a parking garage, in front of downtown murals, real nice.

Irresistible neo-retro hiphop from a fashionable Trinidad-born, Brooklynbased MC. A “rap” album hipsters and indie-kids can agree on.

Anticon

Faux Real Productions

Reprise

Fat Possum/Lefse

Raleigh Moncrief Watered Lawn

Theophilus London Timez Are Weird These Days

Metal heads dose heavy riffs w/ stoner-core harmonies, crushing drums, subtly brilliant solos & bring serious balls back to rock ‘n’ roll.

Mastodon The Hunter

St. Vincent Strange Mercy

4AD

Relapse Records

From dub to dusty breaks Mike earns the name Colossal.

Each song rocks, and it’s short and catchy enough to listen back to back, and back. They have mastered a sound, exemplified here. Loud fun.

Red Fang Murder the Mountains

Glory Hole Records

Keith Lowell Jensen Cats Made of Rabbits

A solo debut that amalgamated the producer’s credentials with midnight recordings of glitch hop in the kitchen.

Appetite Scattered Smothered Covered

Typhoon A New Kind of House

Appetite’s Teddy Briggs masterfully created this rich, dense album that’s nearly impossible to define. Weird pop-folk that dabbles all over.

Big band indie rock devoid of cloying twee impulses. Sprawling yet hauntingly intimate. A rare EP that doesn’t feel incomplete.

Tender Loving Empire

Ganglians Still Living

Kill the Precedent’s EP release show (live show) Harlow’s, Sacramento

Lefse Records

Nov. 14, 2011

Crossbill Records

Feist (live show) The Warfield, San Francisco Take the gentle vocals of Feist, acoustic guitars, special guest Little Wings, and it might equal the most intimate show of the year.

self-release

Sacramento’s psych rockers produce yet another gem, keeping that Beach Boys sound meshed with unexpected twists, ballads and tribal rumbles.

Aug. 6, 2011

photo by bobby rose

KTP made Harlow’s feel like a house show! “Flight” theme featured hot stewardesses and (drunken) pilot outfits. Plenty of moshing ensued.

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SubmergeMag.com

Issue 100 • December 12, 2011 – January 2, 2012

Locatw on OpeiN Now

Dean Haakenson

Alexander Ayers

Steph Rodriguez

Rim Shot!

Wes Davis

Dennis “the photographer”

Michael Sean Flanagan

Jonathan Carabba

Doug Riggs

The Non-Drummer Drum Off

Westfield Downtown Plaza Mall, Sacramento • Sunday, December 4, 2011 Words Amy Serna | Photos melissa welliver

Jesi Naomi

Liam

JR Halliday

Blake Abbey

The Judges

Mall walkers had reason to pause during their power walks last Sunday at the Westfield Mall. And no, it wasn’t to watch Santa Claus taking photos with crying babies or ice skaters taking falls at the rink. They paused to see the first Non-Drummer Drum-Off. The event is exactly what its name implies, people attempting to drum like Taylor Hawkins from Foo Fighters but they end up sounding like Animal from The Muppets. In fact, the only qualification of the drum-off was that you were supposed to suck. Even the Facebook event page said if someone was caught practicing before the show, then they would have been automatically disqualified. Just like American Idol, the non-drummers had to face judges, listen to a sarcastic host and battle to win a prize. The eager non-drummers were going head-to-head for a chance to win a new drum set. At around 3 p.m., a small crowd gathered around a mini stage and bleachers on the second floor of K Street mall in Downtown Plaza that stood in-between the retail stores Express and ZuhG Life (organizers and sponsors of the event). When the show got rolling, most of the audience members ended up being random holiday shoppers, curious workers, or mall walkers who wanted to see what all of the ruckus was about. The judges, including Matt Mingus from Dance Gavin Dance and Kevin Martinez from Tha Dirt Feeling, had to rate the nondrummers on a scale from 1 to 10 (10 being the highest) and on “charisma and performance.” The bad drumming started off with Charleeé Wheeler from the local band ZuhG and his attempt to hit the drums like a rock star. Most of the contestants were familiar faces because they were from local bands or people who are active

in the Sacramento community, such as Steph Rodriguez from Sacramento News & Review, Alexander Ayers from Prieta, a local photographer named Dennis, Michael Sean Flanagan, Dean Haakenson from Be Brave Bold Robot (who accidentally broke a drum stick while playing) and even our own Jonathan Carabba gave his shot behind the drums. After almost every performance, the host of the event (Blake Abbey from Musical Charis) would make funny, sarcastic remarks about their performance such as, “It’s so bad I want it to keep going,” or, “It wasn’t even entertaining to watch.” After Bryan Nichols, owner of the ZuhG Life store, gave his all playing the foreign instrument, Blake said, “I would rather listen to a whole Nickelback album than listen to that again.” Although the show was not exclusively awkward drumming, the audience members got to enjoy riffs from the professionals like Matt Mingus. But the show stopper went to a small audience member who was eager to get a whack at the drums. When Blake asked if anyone from the audience would like to drum off, a young boy named Liam not only raised his hand to volunteer but stood up on the bleachers to be seen and heard. After he pulled a rampage behind the drums, he received a perfect score from the judges and huge cheers from the audience. And every time the host would mention his name he would stand on top of the bleachers and give an arm wave of victory. When he found out that he won the contest, he told his proud mom that they are going to need a “bigger truck” to carry his new gift home. Although little Liam arrived as a casual mall visitor, he left as a drumming champion.

Matt Mingus

Issue 100 • December 12, 2011 – January 2, 2012

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

Capital Capture

Put Some Color in Your Winter Coat Skylar Mundy capitalcapture@submergemag.com My, oh my. It sure is getting chilly out, isn’t it? If you’re like me, you’ve busted out all your coats from storage and started bundling up to fight off this cold. As much as I love coats, I get very tired of seeing the same black and gray pea coats day in and day out. It is such a treat to find someone daring enough to brighten up the streets with a colorful coat. Who said fall and winter have to be dull and dreary? Not me! I say be as colorful as possible all year round. It makes the world a much prettier place.

Mina Robertson

Danielled Vergnaud

Kristin Reardon

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Issue 100 • December 12, 2011 – January 2, 2012

Do Not Lick Screen A Look At Some Sacramento Food Blogs Words Adam Saake

hen we eat it and it’s good, we can’t wait to tell anybody who will listen about our experience and how they too can indulge. Social media sites like Facebook, Twitter and most recently Instagram are flooded with pictures and descriptions of memorable (and not-so-memorable) dining experiences. Users are saying, “I’m eating this, and I wanted you to know.” I see it as “food bragging,” and damn it, we’re all guilty of it. Food blogs, however, are a more concentrated and thought-out version of this behavior that focus on including everybody and not making you feel left out for not having tried a stuffed squash blossom. Rather, voila, they give you a recipe for stuffed squash blossoms while simultaneously satisfying their own innate desires for glutinous consumption coupled with their kinky obsession with food porn. Oh, how I love the food blog! Here are some words from a few of Submerge’s favorites.

Kimberly Morales Poor Girl Eats Well Poorgirleatswell.com Where did the name for your blog originate? Pretty simple, really. I found myself in a pretty terrible financial situation (pretty much flat broke), but I made sure my meals were as healthy, tasty and good looking as I could possibly afford. “Well, you sure eat good, don’t you?” said a coworker of mine one day. “Yeah, I guess I do eat pretty well,” I corrected. A couple weeks later, I decided to start the blog and figured that was a good, unique title to use. What is the main focus of your food blog? Exactly what my tagline says: “How to eat ridiculously well on a minuscule budget.” And by eating well, I mean eating real food, not processed junk or fast food. While those are the most convenient ways to eat on the cheap, they don’t offer anything in the way of real nutrition. And when you’re super stressed about money due to being un- or underemployed, the last thing you need to be doing is making yourself sick by not eating well. PGEW is primarily recipe-based, and about 99 percent of the recipes I feature are things I come up with on the fly by shopping my own kitchen. Since you’ve been writing about food, what have been some of the big changes in trends and people’s tastes in general? Mobile food is definitely a huge one, and as one of the SactoMoFo crew, it has been really interesting to follow Sacramento’s role in this and the trend as a whole. People are becoming more accepting of the variety mobile food can bring to a city’s food culture, and with Sacramento’s diversity, I think it could be a huge boost to our local culture as a whole. What originally got you into writing about food? My parents were both in the restaurant business, so I’ve always had a fascination with food. I’m also halfColombian, half-Salvadorean, so it’s part of our culture to eat and enjoy the beauty of food. I’m also kind of a closet anthropologist. I love studying people and the ways they incorporate food into their lives. You can learn so much!

you do as a food writer on a blog and say, what a food writer for a print publication does? Do you think each draw inspiration from each other on approach and technique? I had the opportunity to do both this year, and I’d say the biggest difference for me was really reining myself in. On a blog, you can babble as little or as much as you like; in print, there are some pretty big limitations. However, I’ve noticed over the years that some traditional print writers are “loosening up” their style and approaching articles a bit more casually, like a blogger would do. And vice versa. Bloggers I’ve followed for a while have definitely stepped up their writing techniques by being a bit more concise and more of a storyteller than a chatter. I’ve worked on that a lot this year, and I’m extremely grateful for the skills I’ve learned along the way. They’ve only helped me improve as a writer. What would be some words of advice for somebody out there interested in starting a food blog? Do it because you want to, not because it’s trendy and you might end up being in Julie and Julia II if you do. You should do it because the sight of a plate of panfried Brussels sprouts drizzled with the most buttery, fruity Arbequina olive oil inspires a wistful sigh of pure, anticipatory pleasure. Or because you’re perfectly happy talking about the 25 different types of salt you just sampled at some store. But definitely don’t do it because you expect a book deal. Stay authentic. Last meal on Earth? Shit…that’s not a fair question! I don’t have a proper menu planned, but let’s just say it will be an extremely rich, decadent feast involving things like duck (in all its tasty forms) and lamb. There would also be chocolate, a couple of Grand Marnier soufflés, every single cheese I could get my hands on, an entire plant of ripe tomatoes to go with the hugest salad on Earth, chocolate, the best apple pie ever, a bucket of marinated mushrooms, Spanish olives, chocolate and wine. Lots and lots of wine.

Julie Berge, Jon Schuller and Tracy Tierney Sac Foodies Sacfoodies.com What is the main focus of your food blog? We write about all things food-related, from local events to restaurants (plus others we visit in our travels) to a long list of traditional and gourmet recipes—all from the different perspectives of more than a dozen food marketing professionals here in the Fleishman-Hillard, Sacramento office. What originally got you into writing about food? We launched SacFoodies in 2007 as a way to learn more about the digital space. As food marketers, we’re regularly reaching out to food bloggers on our clients’ behalf. So after successfully managing a blog of our own, we can walk the walk and talk the talk. You could also say it gives us “street cred” in the blogosphere. Does Sacramento keep you busy typing? Would you consider us a food town? Why? With our easy access to fresh produce year-round, Sacramento is on the forefront of the farm-to-table movement that we’re seeing right now in dining. As more and more people are starting to look at

where their food comes from and taking a decidedly “locavore” approach to food choice, Sacramentoarea restaurants like Mulvaney’s, Magpie Café and the Paragary Restaurant Group have led the way in offering locally-sourced products that embody the diverse flavors of our region. Be it heirloom tomatoes in late summer, winter squash or local game hen and duck, Sacramento is absolutely a food town in that it offers diners a taste of California’s abundant and fresh cuisine with an unaffected and charming approach. Last meal on Earth? Julie: Hands down, my great-grandmother Veronica Berryessa’s enchiladas. They are the perfect combination of sweet with a little kick—just like how I imagine I’d spend my last hours. Tracy: A massive bowl of pho with a mountain-sized pile of assorted cupcakes on the side. Jon: Mom’s secret potato salad recipe or the duck gnocchi at Magpie. Ironically, my world would end if you made me choose between the two.

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Issue 100 • December 12, 2011 – January 2, 2012

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Garrett McCord Vanilla Garlic Vanillagarlic.com Where did the name for your blog originate? Vanilla Garlic, simply because I just like both ingredients. I wish there was a better story, but sadly… What is the main focus of your food blog? Entertaining essays and a means for me to better my writing. Since you’ve been writing about food, what have been some of the big changes in trends and people’s tastes in general? The desire to start taking more risks in the kitchen and do new things such as make sausage or cheese in their own home.

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Are there any stark differences between what you do as a food writer on a blog and say, what a food writer for a print publication does? Do you think each draw inspiration from each other on approach and technique? No, but both require a different mindset as a blog and a magazine each has a unique audience. You have to learn how to retain your voice yet still address the needs of the people who are reading your words—knowing what they expect from that source material and what you plan to engage them with, be it a picture, clever writing or fantastic recipes. Regardless, all food writing should be entertaining, timely and informative (or, at least, specialize in just one of those areas). Last meal on Earth? Chili con carne, but that’s because I’m waiting for it to finish cooking as I write my replies.

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Where did the name for your blog originate? Ever since I was a little girl, I always had a terrible sweet tooth. I would be anyone’s best friend for dessert. What is the main focus of your food blog? Dessert. Best Friends for Frosting is an online magazine that premieres top rated dessert recipes among fellow dessert blogs. All avenues are exhausted to gather the hippest, freshest and most exquisite dessert trends. I truly pay articulate attention to details of each ingredient within the recipes that I post. Every dessert featured on Best Friends For Frosting is a recipe I would try myself. Since you’ve been writing about food, what have been some of the big changes in trends and people’s tastes in general? The biggest trends in the dessert scene come in all different flavors and sizes…literally! Individual serving sizes are a huge hit right now—cupcakes, cake pops, French macarons, cookies, cake slices, etc. People also love serving desserts on sticks— cake pops, cheesecake pops, marshmallow pops, etc. An upcoming trend on the rise is cake push pops. Cake push pops are layers of cake and frosting served in a push pop container. They’re just like the Flintstone Push Up Popsicles except they’re filled with layers of cake instead of ice cream. As for flavor combinations, sweet and salty bacon desserts are a huge hit. I have seen chocolate bacon cookies, maple bacon cupcakes, caramel bacon donuts, etc. Bacon desserts are my personal fave!

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What originally got you into writing about food? With more than 15 years of baking experience under my belt, I set out to fulfill my dream of owning a bakery. After working at a few local bakeries to gain experience, I realized that my love of baked goods was more focused on having it as a hobby where creative freedom far outweighed the desire to sell and make a profit. Instead, I launched Best Friends for Frosting, a website version of the bakery I once dreamed to open. What would be some words of advice for somebody out there interested in starting a food blog? Take Nike’s advice and, “Just do it!” Food and dessert are both totally essential. We all love it and savor it on a daily basis. It’s a relatable topic that can go across the table to your child, your grandma and even your boss. Why not? You’re bound to draw someone in. I honestly cannot think of one con about starting a food blog. If anyone has questions or needs advice about starting a food or dessert blog, I would be thrilled to help. Just shoot me an e-mail.

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Last meal on Earth? Dessert of course. “Eat dessert first.” My dream last meal would be a fat slice of carrot cake with a side of salty caramel French macarons from Ginger For this and other Elizabeth’s washed down with food porn, check out the Internet, a cake batter milk shake. which is open 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

Issue 100 • December 12, 2011 – January 2, 2012

the shallow end Cut from the Team James Barone jb@submergemag.com Just when I got to thinking that only poor, out-of-work protestors got imprisoned in this country, the powers that be have decided to throw the rest of us a bone or two. A couple of the nation’s former elite are about to be cast out of Asgard and into the bowels of our extensive penitentiary system. First up at bat is Barry Bonds (get it?!). The disgraced slugger and Major League Baseball homerun king is looking at prison time for “deliberately misleading a grand jury with evasive testimony about steroids” during his time on the stand at the now infamous BALCO hearings in December 2003. Now Bonds—one of the greatest baseball players of his generation, juice or no—faces a prison term. On Thursday, Dec. 8, federal prosecutors recommended 15 months, according to the San Francisco Chronicle. A judge will sentence Bonds on Friday, Dec. 16 on a conviction of obstruction of justice. How hard do the mighty and powerful fall? Pretty hard, it would seem. It must suck to have everything, but still be a miserable fuck up. When you have nothing and you get tossed in prison, at least you didn’t have anything to lose. I’m not sure how much money Bonds has now that his time trotting in and out from left field and launching baseballs into McCovey Cove has long since passed, but he probably could have bought his own prison if he invested wisely— could have saved the taxpayers some money and reserved himself the sweetest cell on the bloc. But, you know, as rich as Bonds may be, he still doesn’t have nearly as much dough as the dude who was signing his checks. And though his power at the plate was prodigious, it didn’t really extend beyond the field. Sure, the sight of him strolling into the batter’s box must have soiled the athletic supporter of many a ninth-inning relief pitcher, but they’re still just a bunch of grown men playing a kid’s game. How about Rod Blagojevich? Remember him? He was the twice-elected governor of Illinois who tried to sell off the senate seat vacated by now-President Barack Obama. That didn’t go so well. After doing laps around the talk show circuit and doing a pretty sweet job of making a spectacle of himself, Blagojevich eventually had to face his crimes. That didn’t go so well either.

Issue 100 • December 12, 2011 – January 2, 2012

On Wednesday, Dec. 7, Blagojevich was handed down a 14-year prison sentence for 18 counts of corruption. He’ll begin serving his sentence in February, though, so he’ll have the next couple of months to chill with his family, have one final Christmas at home, celebrate one more birthday and get his affairs in order. That must be nice. I don’t even have affairs to be put in order. It certainly wouldn’t take me 70-something days to get them together. I haven’t even been to a dentist in six years. The Blagojeviches, however, have stuff. Like a house they’ll need to sell. According to the Washington Post, their home was listed at $1.07 million, but the price was dropped a few thousand dollars. The house has been on the market since his conviction in June, so if any of you are looking for nice property in a presumably good neighborhood in Illinois with a notable history, this may be the place for you. The house was put on sale because Blagojevich’s legal woes put a heavy financial burden on him and his family. They’re the ones who’ll likely get hurt the most in this mess. Mayor Rahm Emmanuel of Chicago, former White House chief of staff under President Obama and ex-ally of Blagojevich, said his thoughts were with Patti, Rod’s wife, and the children according to the Chicago Sun-Times, which is very well where they should be. You know, if you have those things, and a million-dollar home, you probably should act accordingly. Trying to make a few extra bucks by selling a senate seat, for instance, might not be the best idea. This sort of thing is nothing new in Illinois, however. The state has seen four of its last nine governors serve prison time, which should be more of a badge of honor than something to be ashamed of. I’m sure this shit happens all the time. I’m just amazed on the rare cases that they actually get caught and have to pay for their crimes. But you know, governors and iconic baseball players are one thing. These are the elite we see. They’re kind of accessible, even though we’d have to battle our way through their entourages even just to shake hands with one of them. They’re still not untouchable. They’re just sort of a buffer zone or layer of distraction between most of us and the real elite. And by all accounts, they’re still doing just fine.

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