Submerge Magazine: Issue 99 (November 28 - December 12, 2011)

Dive into Sacramento & its Surrounding Areas NOvember 28 – December 12, 2011

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Issue 99 • November 28 – December 12, 2011

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

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Issue 99 • November 28 – December 12, 2011

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Submerge: an independently owned entertainment/lifestyle publication available for free biweekly throughout the greater Sacramento area.

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November 28 December 12 Dive in

creativity por vida Melissa welliver melissa@submergemag.com So I’ve been doing the publication/graphic design thing for about a decade or so now, and I’m not going to lie, I sometimes feel a bit burnt out. That feeling always makes me imagine what it’s like for musicians and artists who just keep truckin’ after decades and DECADES. In the arts—music, art, theater, writing, what have

The Stream The Optimistic Pessimist Kepi Ghoulie Submerge your senses

you—it seems that unless you are driven by some sort of extreme passion, it’s easy to let your craft fall by the wayside. Let’s face it, the arts are by no means an easy way to make a living and not only that, it requires a whole bunch of creativity, which is something money cannot buy.

To me, the stories within this issue are very inspiring.

Take our two cover story subjects for instance, Lonely Kings and Kepi Ghoulie. They are still around doing what they love—making music and putting out albums and touring—after decades of hard work. I can’t help but think how much of an accomplishment that is!

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Mark Bryan

14 18 24 28

Lonely kings

calendar

Desrochers and Janicot give us some real talk on working

Refined Tastes

American Heartache, which will be out sometime in early

Juno’s

Tots toy drive on Dec. 23 at Ace of Spades.

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the grindhouse

Rupture taking place at American River College’s James

The muppets

Kaneko Gallery. Unfortunately the opening reception

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the shallow end

view Tony Natsoulus’ sculptures as well as Mark Bryan’s

gift guide

Please read our interview with Kepi Ghoulie on page 8 and discover that he shows no signs of slowing down anytime soon. He discusses his fifth solo album, I Bleed Rock ‘n’ Roll, which will be released Nov. 29 on Asian Man Records, as well his plans to make a children’s album that he says will be released this coming spring.

On page 14 you can read our interview with Jake Desrochers and Emile Janicot from the band Lonely Kings. hard, where the band is at now and their new album 2012. Catch them headline their sixth annual Rock for A few weeks ago I discovered an art show called The

has come and gone, but you’ll have the opportunity to paintings until Dec. 6. We were fortunate enough to have the opportunity to chat with one of the artists about his work. On page 12, you’ll be able to read our feature on

cofounder/ Editor in Chief/Art Director

Melissa Welliver melissa@submergemag.com cofounder/ Advertising Director

Jonathan Carabba jonathan@submergemag.com

Contributing Writers

Robin Bacior, Corey Bloom, Bocephus Chigger, Anthony Giannotti, Blake Gillespie, Vince Girimonte, Skylar Mundy, Ryan L. Prado, Steph Rodriguez Adam Saake, Mike Saechao, Amy Serna, Jenn Walker

Submerge

2308 J Street, Suite F Sacramento, Calif. 95816

916.441.3803 info@submergemag.com

Contributing photographers

senior editor

James Barone

Matthew Burks, Skylar Mundy, Nicholas Wray

Contributing editor

bad ass intern

Mandy Johnston

Amy Serna

www.submergemag.com Follow us on Twitter! @SubmergeMag

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99

dive in

printed on recycled paper

Front cover photo of Lonely KIngs by Chance Phillips

Issue 99 • November 28 – December 12, 2011

All content is property of Submerge and may not be reproduced without permission. Submerge is both owned and published by Submerge Media.

All opinions expressed throughout Submerge are those of the author and do not necessarily mean we all share those opinions. Feel free to take a copy or two for free, but please don’t remove our papers or throw them away. Submerge welcomes letters of all kinds, whether they are full of love or hate. We want to know what is on your mind, so feel free to contact us via snail mail at 2308 J Street, Suite F Sacramento, Calif. 95816. Or you can e-mail us at info@submergemag.com.

Back cover photo of Kepi Ghoulie by Kevin Seconds

Mark Bryan and get a feeling for his incredible paintings, which are rich with satire.

Like I briefly mentioned earlier, creativity itself can’t be bought, but you sure can buy awesome things that other creative people have made. See our holiday gift guide starting on page 18 for proof. Maybe you’ll even find something you want to buy for yourself. That’s OK, we won’t tell anyone. Enjoy issue 99!

Mark your calendars for Dec. 16, our 100th Issue Party!

Check out page 2 for the list of bands. I hope to see you at Ace of Spades, Melissa-Dubs

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

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Issue 99 • November 28 – December 12, 2011

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Audio Express — Sacramento Submerge — 11/28/2011

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Issue 99 • November 28 – December 12, 2011

The stream G STREET PUB IN DAVIS RETURNS AS G STREET WUNDERBAR // SHERMAN BAKER RELEASES PANIC ON SEVENTEENTH // MIDTOWN RESTAURANT & BAR SHUFFLE Jonathan Carabba Send regional news tips to info@submergemag.com

Back in February Davis’ G Street Pub closed its doors for good, or at least that’s what everyone thought. Turns out, former head bartender Chris Armanini purchased the place and re-opened it in late October under a new name, G Street Wunderbar. The location underwent intensive remodeling, including an updated commercial kitchen, new bathrooms, a new sound system and more. Craig W. Hiatt is the chef of the Foothill Grill, which is what they’re calling the restaurant portion of the business. Hiatt features classic grill fare at Foothill Grill and traditional barbecue items like pulled pork, tri-tip, hot links, cole slaw, etc. G Street Wunderbar will still host plenty of live music like they used to, which is great news for the local music community! Their weekly breakdown looks a little something like this: Monday nights are Pub Quiz with “Geeks Who Drink” starting at 9:30 p.m.; Tuesday nights are karaoke starting at 9:30 p.m.; Wednesday nights are Funk Nights; Thursdays will see DJ Wiz spinning; Friday and Saturday nights are reserved for live music; and on Sunday nights there’s a pool tournament at 6:30 p.m.

Upcoming noteworthy shows include Shayna and the Bulldog on Saturday, Dec. 3 and The Brodys and A Single Second on Friday, Dec. 9.

For more information, find G Street Wunderbar on Facebook or follow them on Twitter, @GStWunderBar.

Local singersongwriter Sherman Baker recently released his second EP, Panic on Seventeenth, and will celebrate with a show at Luigi’s Fungarden on Friday, Dec. 2. Fans of Wilco, Violent Femmes and The Pixies are sure to dig Baker’s nasal-y, folk-meets-punk-rock vibe. With your $5 admission to the show, which starts at 8:30 p.m., you’ll get a free download card for Panic on Seventeenth. Accompanying Baker that night will be Joseph Kojima Gray on bass and Brian Guido on drums. Both are also in the band 50-Watt Heavy. Opening the show will be Brolly the Well and Damon & Mason (of the band Forever Goldrush). Baker worked on his new four-song EP with Robert Cheek (producer, engineer) and Matt McCord (played percussion on the recordings); both are longtime staples in the Sacramento music scene. The four songs on Panic… will show up in some form or another on a full-length album Baker plans to record in February 2012 called Seventeenth Street, which will also feature eight brand new songs. Baker plans to spend two weeks at The Hangar, again with Robert Cheek manning the boards. For more information and to keep in the loop with all things Sherman Baker, visit Shermanbakermusic.com.

Midtown restaurant and bar shuffle: There’s tons of stuff going down in the Midtown restaurant/ bar scenes as of late. Here is a brief rundown: Monsoon Indian Bar & Grill is taking over Spin Burger Bar’s former location at 1020 16 th Street; The Porch Restaurant and Bar (from the owners of Capitol Garage) is aiming for a Dec. 6 opening in the space formerly occupied by Celestin’s Island Eats and Cajun Cuisine at 1815 K Street. Firestone Public House, a sports-themed bar from Mason Wong (who runs MIX Downtown) and the de Vere White family (of de Vere’s Irish Pub), will replace the now-closed California Pizza Kitchen location at 16 th and L streets, and a Mongolian barbecue joint is taking over the short-lived Garlic Shack’s location at 1830 J Street. Hungry yet?

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

Ne

Locatw on OPeiN Now

The Optimistic Pessimist The MP3 Manifesto Bocephus Chigger bocephus@submergemag.com Almost all of us have done it. If you haven’t illegally downloaded music, it’s probably because you don’t know how. My mother is pretty much a saint, a real church-going catholic woman who even sings in the choir, but even she isn’t immune. It seems like after Napster blew up in the late ‘90s, illegal downloads became the norm.

Until recently, I didn’t see a big problem with this. I was a connoisseur, an appreciator, a collector. Music needed someone like me to keep a record of the good shit. I stopped buying music and relied on the Google machine to find me that sweet stuff I needed so badly. That curvaceously lettered bitch of a search engine kept feeding me album after album until things started getting buried. My music collection was in chaos. Whole careers of unheard bands went adrift on the spinning high plains of my hard drive, only to be saved by the occasional shuffle. I realized that maybe I wasn’t doing the good service that I had thought. I was no more entitled to free music than anyone else.

As a lover of music, the past decade has been a worrisome one. The level of musicianship in popular music seems to have decreased dramatically. Simpler is now seen as better by the major labels, and I can understand why they would think that way. As we resort to illegally downloading more music, there is less profit for the record labels. It doesn’t make much business sense to spend a lot of money trying to convince the public that something is good, especially when the public isn’t going to pay for the album anyway.

Make no mistake, though, my concern is not for the financial stability of the record labels. Record execs have fed off the blood, sweat and tears of the artists for generations.

My concern is that good music is being buried beneath the pile of shit shoveled by the majors to satisfy the masses. I wish I could just blame the labels, but really it’s our fault.

Music has become so easy to get that I believe we don’t value it like we used to. We have nothing invested in it, no stake in the game.

We download 15 albums at a time and forget to listen to five of them. We choose the simple over the complex because it requires less time to assimilate and move on. Why let something SubmergeMag.com

grow on you when there are literally millions of other options out there that are easily accessible and won’t cost a dime? Our actions tell the labels (and more importantly the artists) that we don’t truly value what they do.

The life of a musician is typically not an easy one. Most don’t end up with millions of dollars, a clothing line and their own brand of vodka. Tour schedules can be grueling and low-paying. Artists on major labels may have it slightly better, but most will not be retiring after their illustrious rap career. When pay is low, musicians get normal jobs. They may do music on the side, but it can’t be their focus anymore. When this happens, we all suffer.

I propose that we change our habits and stop hurting ourselves. I’ve decided to do my part and have stopped illegally downloading music (for the most part…see below). I’m in a position where I can afford to give back to the people who have given me so much throughout my life. I want musicians to know that their hard efforts are worth it. If you are able, I think you should do the same.

Of course no rule is without its exceptions.

If buying an album means you have to miss a meal, then get your gank on. If you legitimately bought a CD (those shiny silver discs), a record (those big black plastic discs) or a tape (who are you?), then you shouldn’t have to pay to get it in a different format.

Same holds true if you bought a copy and later lost it. Singles are also meant to be stolen as they are more a marketing tactic than anything. There are lots of rare albums that you will never see for sale or could never afford if you did. You are free to illegally download these so that they will be heard and remembered. If an artist dies and the only one left to make money off of his music is the record label, then steal away. Finally, if you are an artist on the album you can take as many copies as you want and give them to whomever you want.

While it may not save us money, we can save music. We decide how talent will be treated by what we buy. Musicians have inspired us for centuries, why not do something that may inspire them? Shed a little coin on their labors of love.

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7

Kepi Ghoulie gets ready to release his fifth solo album in just four years Words James Barone • Photo Kevin Seconds

M

ost sharks are renown not only for their prowess as predators, but because they never stop moving, even when they’re asleep. They do so in order to keep breathing. Such is the case for local pop-punk impresario Kepi Ghoulie, who lives in a state of perpetual motion as far as his music career is concerned. In fact, his rock ‘n’ roll lifestyle even inspired the song “Rock ‘n’ Roll Shark” on his upcoming album, to be released Nov. 29 on Asian Man Records, aptly titled I Bleed Rock ‘n’ Roll. Funny enough, Kepi says he wrote that song while hiking Mount Shasta, singing into his iPhone.

When Submerge spoke with Kepi, he was at home, but true-to-form, certainly not at rest.

“I came home last Monday, and I played Thursday, Friday and Saturday, and then I’m painting for this art show, and as soon as that’s done, I’m recording for my kids record,” Kepi says. “So even though I’m at home, the pace is still as if I’m on tour.”

Recently, Kepi hit the road with Canadian pop-punk icons Chixdiggit. He played bass for the group and also opened for them, its members serving as his backing band during his set. As for the children’s record he mentioned, he says he will start tracking that in December for release in March or April 2012. Mike Park, head of Asian Man Records, convinced Kepi to write children’s songs.

“Mike at Asian Man said, ‘You’ve got to make a kids record. Your songs are already kids’ songs,’” Kepi explains. “I have stuff about taking a bath; and I was in Canada for a month, and I ended up writing this song about the provincial flower of each province. It would be cool to have something like School House Rock, where you learn something with each song.”

The children’s songs will be short and catchy—as you should probably expect from the ex-Groovie Ghoulies frontman. He says School House Rock had some of an influence on the songs he’s writing for the forthcoming children’s record; however, he says that some of those songs were too long. His inspiration mainly came from the acts that have inspired him all along.

“I wanted to make [my songs] two minutes,” he says. “A Ramones song, or a Little Richard song, two minutes is perfect—sort of get in and get out. I wanted to do a song about the U.S. presidents or something, but I was like, ‘Maybe I’ll do two songs, so there are only 20 presidents at a time,’ so there are no four- or five-minute songs. I remember when I was a kid, slow songs were weird, and long songs were weird.”

Until then, though, Kepi is focused on his latest release, his fifth since The Groovie Ghoulies went their separate ways in 2007. He has a record release show planned for Bottom of the Hill in San Francisco on Dec. 2, which is where the paintings he’s been working on will come into play.

“I’m hand-painting 30 album covers for the release show, and I’m going to be selling a test pressing with a hand-painted piece of art for $150. I’m going to do 15 on the show and 15 online,” Kepi says. “I’m going crazy doing that.”

Much like Kepi’s songs, his paintings are fun and perhaps simplistic, but instantly indelible. It’s a straightforward, honest approach that has served his music well over the years.

“A lot of my songs are so minimal, I don’t want to make them do anything else,” he says.

“Like, ‘This song doesn’t need a bridge.’ Like, T. Rex, Marc Bolan would just play this riff, and that would be enough for him. I don’t want to mess it up by adding too much.”

Kepi carries his love for minimalism over into I Bleed Rock ‘n’ Roll; however, as he told Submerge, he was eager to inject a healthy dose of huge rock energy into his songs. The veteran songwriter answered questions about the process of making his new album in the following interview.

8

Issue 99 • November 28 – December 12, 2011

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

How’s it going? You’ve got the album coming out in a couple weeks?

Yep! New record coming out. Everything’s great. I’m super excited. I think it’s the best-sounding thing I’ve ever done…

I spent about a month making it in Oakland, because usually I make a record in three days or a week or something. We don’t usually have a lot of time, but my buddy down there had a studio, and we spent a lot of time tracking everything.

It was really fun, six layers of guitars sometimes, just stuff I’ve never been able to do because of budget concerns and that sort of thing.

How come you had a little more time this time around?

It was the flexibility with the studio and no rush... I think the songs on this record were a lot more fleshed out. I don’t know what it is, but it was just really fun, and a difference—bigger than what I had been working on.

It definitely sounded like more of a rock record. Was that something you were going for when you wrote these songs?

Yeah, totally. I was in Austria a couple times early this year, and there’s a club called the PNK, and in Europe, after the rock show, there’s DJs playing The Bouncing Souls and The Ramones, and all that stuff, and people are dancing and hanging out. I wanted to make a record that people can dance to at the after party—just big, loud, fun. Songs like “Nikki Lee,” “Part Time Romeo,” “Break My Heart,” those were made for rock ‘n’ roll after parties… It was a goal to make a big rock record that you could dance to. That was part of my mission here.

Usually, you said you make a record in three days, but this one took you a month, on and off. Did that affect your creative process at all? Did you have to tell yourself to slow down in the studio because you’re used to doing things so fast?z No, actually, music and lyric-wise, it came really fast. It’s this big, loud, three-chord rock ‘n’ roll. When I got in, it was like, boom, boom, boom. Like, you know, don’t think about it too much. This isn’t some super profound record lyrically, this is just a big rock ‘n’ roll record. When I went in, I tried to be super up. The other thing was, if I wanted to go somewhere and just sing to the backing tracks, I can. I’m getting these weirder and weirder gigs.

I was just flown to Oslo, Norway, for a show, and I was also flown to Nebraska to play a zombie walk… You can’t fly a band to Norway to do one show, usually, so you have to have alternate options. This record was also made for that. Last year, I was in Rome, and I was supposed to play acoustic at this really loud club, and there was no possible way I was going to be

able to play acoustic. The DJ happened to be playing a Groovie Ghoulies record, and I just started singing along with it as a joke. He just kept playing more records, and my show ended up being this live karaoke set. I was singing The Monkees and Kiss and Johnny Thunders, and he was trying to stump me, but I knew the words to every song. And people were blown away, like, “Whoa, what was that?”

I like the kind of anything-goes factor that’s in my life right now.

You mentioned that the lyrics weren’t meant to be very deep, but toward the end of the album with songs like “I Just Wanted You to Know,” “Love to Give,” “Break My Heart” and “Cupid Is Real,” there seemed to be a heavy love theme.

Was that something you noticed when you were writing lyrics for this record?

It’s funny. In the Ghoulies, I never really wrote love songs, but this time a bunch of them came out. “I Just Wanted You to Know,” that one I heard a little T. Rex riff in my head. I demoed it. I tried to send it to Kevin Seconds, but I failed. It was on my GarageBand or something and I ended up recording that. Rusty Miller [of the band Jackpot] played on some of those songs. He did that one and played exactly what I heard in my head. “Break My Heart,” I woke up one day and thought that was a cool little title, like, I know you’re going to break my heart one day, so let’s just get this over with… I don’t know. They all just came. Songs come to me, and if they’re catchy, I keep them. As far as them all being at the end of the record, I always try to pace my records like a movie or a roller coaster ride. I put a lot of thought into how it was going to end, like, “Hard to Forget” is a good song that will hopefully keep ringing in your head after it’s done.

This is your fifth solo album since the Ghoulies split up. That’s not even that long ago. It’s only like four years ago.

I’m averaging about one a year. The first thing I did was put out an acoustic and electric record at the same time, so people couldn’t be, “Oh, he’s doing this or he’s doing that.” I’m doing a bit of everything.

It’s really cool. I’m in a place like Neil Young or Johnny Thunders, where I can do whatever I want, and I really like that.

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Kepi Ghoulie will play his CD release show at Bottom of the Hill in San Francisco on Dec. 2; however, Sacramento fans will only have to wait a week after to see him live in town. On Dec. 9 he will play an acoustic set at Naked Coffee with Pets.

Later in the month on Dec. 30, Kepi will plug in and play with Dog Party as his backing band at Luigi’s Fungarden. Look for I Bleed Rock ‘n’ Roll on Asian Man Records on Nov. 29.

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SubmergeMag.com

Issue 99 • November 28 – December 12, 2011

9

10

Issue 99 • November 28 – December 12, 2011

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

Your Senses SEE HEAR TASTE Touch

SEE

Color Me Obsessed: A Film About the Replacements at the Guild Theater The Replacements. They are often known by fans as one of the best bands you’ve never heard of. Whether you have heard of them or not, coming up is a one-night opportunity to see the story of the Minneapolis-based ‘80s punk rock band on a big screen, told by everyone but the band themselves—friends and fans of the band, as well as music journalists. The documentary Color Me Obsessed: A Film About the Replacements is playing for one night only at the Guild Theater for a whopping $5. Not a bad price for seeing what Rolling Stone deemed one of the best music documentaries of 2011. The film includes more than 140 interviews with the likes of Colin Meloy of the Decemberists, Tommy Ramone, Goo Goo Dolls and Grant Hart and Greg Norton of Hüsker Dü, to name a few. The Dec. 4 screening begins at 7 p.m. Guild Theater is located at 2828 35th Street at the intersection of 35th Street and Broadway. Go to Moviesonabigscreen.com for more info.

TASTE

The Wares of Local and Bay Area Food Trucks at Sacto MoFo 3 If you missed it the first two times, this is your chance to check out Sacto MoFo 3, aka Sacramento’s Mobile Food Festival. Tastes will be provided by both local and San Francisco-based food trucks and stands, including but not limited to: Chando Taco’s, JapaCurry, Wicked ‘wich, Simply Southern Foods / It’s Corn Cake, Volkswaffle, Smoothie Patrol, Mini Burger, Esther’s Cupcakes and more. Surely that’s enough variety to satisfy everyone’s bellies, right? Not to mention there’s no charge to get in, just bring some small bills to use. And, since this is also a winter food drive for the Sacramento Food Bank and the U.S. Marines Reserves’ Toys for Tots, consider bringing some canned or dried foods, or unwrapped toys, with you to donate. Photo opportunities with Santa will be available for the little ones, and Stitches ‘n Dishes is holding a free drawing for a Nintendo Wii Console bundle package and a bonus drawing for an Apple iPad 2 WiFi. It all goes down on Dec. 3 from 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. under the freeway between 8th and W streets, the same location as the Sunday Farmer’s Market.

HEAR

Appetite, Radiation City and Lost Lander Live at Luigi’s Fungarden

TOUCH

Gingerbread Houses at Camellia Waldorf School’s Annual Winter Faire Looking for crafty holiday stuff to do with the kiddos? Camellia Waldorf School is holding its 23rd Annual Winter Faire, where kids can make gingerbread houses and crafts, watch puppet shows and even shop in a “children only” store. Meanwhile, local artisans and businesses will offer gift-shopping opportunities. There will also be a Sacramento Restaurant Soup Competition and live music to check out. The event will take place Dec. 10 and admission is free. It runs from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. The school is located at 5701 Freeport Boulevard. For more information, call (916) 427-5022.

SubmergeMag.com

You may have seen posters around town, and yes you should check out this show. Local act Appetite will be joined by Portland’s Radiation City and Lost Lander at Luigi’s Fungarden for the “No No We” tour.

This show promises to be a night of sweet music.

Appetite is the project of songwriter Teddy Briggs (of the former Chief Briggum and What’s Up?) —think percussion-led, intricate melodies. Radiation City is self-described as, “Your parents’ record collection spent some time on the Event Horizon, and this came out.” That’s not far off point. Fizzy vocals, dreamy guitars and buzzing organ playing are involved. Lost Lander is a new project by songwriter Mike Sheehy, best identified as orchestral synth rock. A release of the debut album DRRT is in the works, but for now, you can get a feel for the Lost Lander sound by listening to the song “Cold Feet” on Lost-lander.com. The show is all ages and starts at 8 p.m. on Dec. 5. Bring $5 to see the music (and more if you want pizza and beer before the show).

Luigi’s Fungarden is located at 1050 20th Street.

Issue 99 • November 28 – December 12, 2011

11

Republic of Suicide

The Grateful Dead

The Monkey Whisperer

The Collectors

The End of the World As We Know It Artist Mark Bryan believes the Rupture is at hand Words Jenn Walker

12

B

elieve it or not, another world exists. It is one in which white collar rabbits scheme around bonfires with rifles, a monolithic statue of Jesus soars through the sky discharging bombs from his chest cavity, babies beat on each other in a boxing ring and Sarah Palin is suddenly transplanted to a tea party at the beach with Alice, the Mad Hatter and company. One second Bambi is standing by the river, the next second he will be zapped by an alien spaceship.

This foreign world exists in two dimensions instead of three. It is a world that is sinister, surreal, chaotic, mysterious and beautiful at the same time. It is conceptualized in the psyche of Los Angeles native Mark Bryan, trickling from paintbrushes onto canvases where it then comes to life.

A glimpse of this world can be found at the James Kaneko Gallery at American River College, where Bryan’s paintings are on display in the exhibition The Rupture, not to be confused with the Rapture.

Issue 99 • November 28 – December 12, 2011

Upon entry into the gallery is Bryan’s artist statement, excerpts from writings of The Church of the SubGenius explaining how the Rupture works: one moment you are seated at the table eating breakfast with your spouse, the next you are leaving your spouse behind as you are swept away on the vehicle of the sex goddess.

Not unlike something that would occur in a Bryan painting. Like his own work, The Church of The SubGenius uses a sense of humor that plays upon human absurdity.

And absurdity is something Bryan has stood witness to since he was a kid, growing up during a time when any day could have been his last, erased by nuclear war.

That’s what society was telling him, anyway. This may be why a number of his paintings depict what he refers to as “impending doom.”

“I think everybody, depending on the generation they grew up in, is soaked in different influences,” he says.

Bryan had been drawn to surrealism since he was a kid, and for a long time he was stuck on Salvador Dali, he remembers.

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

MAD Magazine, science fiction, superhero comics and the lowbrow art featured in ZAP Comix all also played a role in shaping his artistic palate as a youth.

During the ‘60s, Bryan’s attention was also inadvertently shifting to politics, partly because of the Vietnam War and the draft, he remembers.

“When you actually can be sent somewhere to kill people or be killed, that sort of ups your political awareness rather quickly,” he says.

Bryan found inspiration in political Chicano art, too. It was bound to happen in Mexico City, where he had spent some time, surrounded by political murals by artists like Diego Rivera and José Clemente Orozco. The two Chicano artists he lived with during art school in Los Angeles were influential on him as well, one of whom he helped paint a 40-by-60-foot mural for César Chávez in Tehachapi in the ‘70s, which would be hung behind Chavez at the United Farm Workers convention.

Some of Bryan’s own most recent political commentaries have been in the form of the sardonic Mad Tea Party series, of which the first painting he credits with launching his career as a full-time painter.

That painting was inspired by the Bush era, a time when Bryan remembers being really disturbed and unhappy with how right-wing politicians were handling things.

“I was trying to depict my feelings about it, and I thought the Mad Tea Party would be a great setting for them, because all the characters seemed so crazy,” he explains.

Little did he realize the extent that the painting would boost his popularity as an artist, or that several years down the road a Tea Party movement would emerge and that the right wing would embrace it.

At that point, there was no question that there would be a sequel to the original Mad Tea Party piece.

Bryan saw no shortage to the madness: BP had just dumped gallons of oil into the Gulf of Mexico, and Sarah Palin had essentially duped the Tea Party into making her their queen.

Thus, The Mad Tea Party Part D’uh was born, this time set against the beach. BP oil seeps into the ocean blue while Palin, dressed in Queen of Hearts garb, sits in the company of Rush Limbaugh reincarnated as the Mad Hatter and other right extremists, smirking devilishly while pouring KoolAid into teacups.

While he guesses that around a quarter of his work is political, Bryan says that he is not a political junkie. His paintings are more like outlets for comments he wants to make on human nature, whether or not they involve war, religion, left versus right or propaganda.

“I think an artist should be a person who reflects their feelings about the times and their own personal experiences, and so this is my particular take on what is going on in this world,” he says. “If I paint a landscape or something I usually have to put something else in it to make a comment, usually something disturbing,” he says.

Quite a few of his pieces peg religious fundamentalism, he says, because it’s an easy target.

“People in every moment in history think [the end of the world] is going to happen really soon, because everything is always so screwed up,” he says.

“In my lifetime I probably remember five or six of these guys saying the world is going to end.”

Some inches further along the wall at the James Kaneko Gallery hangs an oil painting of a SubmergeMag.com

round-faced, beady-eyed man in a suit and tie.

Capping the crown of his head is an automobile from which a crazed lucha libre rabbit is steering the wheel of his brain.

This piece, El Conejo in His Head, is one of a series of what Bryan calls his psychological portraits.

He offers a simple explanation: “Sometimes people behave in ways they don’t want to.”

Other pieces are parodies. For instance, Bryan’s Pushing Clocks depicts Salvador Dali against a barren landscape similar to that in Persistence of Memory, wheel-barrowing around a pile of his trademark melting clocks whilst dressed in a bunny suit.

This, Bryan says, was an easy way to drag Dali into the lowbrow, pop surrealism world.

Sometimes a painting is preceded with one to two sketches. At other times, paintings come a bit more spontaneously.

“I still start with an idea, like I’ll think I want to paint ballerinas and a landscape, but I have no idea what it’s going to look like,” he says. “It’s kind of a dreamlike process, they change a lot as I’m painting and a sort of picture or vision starts to crystallize slowly.”

Monkeys, rabbits and robots are some of Bryan’s go-tos used to incorporate humor into a piece, simply because he finds them inherently funny. Babies are another.

“Babies, you know, they are kind of creepy and I don’t know why I keep painting them,” he says.

“And I put them in weird situations you never see them in, smoking cigarettes or boxing, stuff like that. Visually they’re fun to play with.”

For instance, another one of his parodies is Maja con Conejos, based on the painting La Maja Desnuda by a painter he adores, Francisco de Goya.

Like Goya’s piece, Bryan’s is also of a shapely woman leisurely positioned on her side, except her head is replaced with that of a rabbit, and she is surrounded by a hoard of babies with rabbit heads.

If there is an underlying meaning to that painting, it is this: “The Maja, with all of her 25 babies or whatever, is to me like a cautionary tale to young men, like, ‘OK, sexual attraction, this is what it’s really all about. So, watch out,’” says Bryan.

Politics or parody, a touch of humor is most always to be expected in a Bryan piece.

“I use humor to make it palatable and seduce the viewer into actually looking at a picture,” he says. “I think humor gives you a little reward for looking at a piece, like satirical humor especially, it’s a way of getting the point across without turning off the viewer, or making it more appealing.”

Robots, the Washington Mall being taken over by armies while humans become sheep (as seen in The Republic of Suicide), the cynicism was all too familiar. It felt something like a Vonnegut piece.

When Submerge asked Bryan whether or not he was a Vonnegut fan, he responded, “Yeah. I love that guy.”

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Issue 99 • November 28 – December 12, 2011

13

Your Favorite Rock Band’s Favorite Band

Sacramento’s Lonely Kings are underground rock heroes words Jonathan Carabba • photo Chance Phillips

A

lthough they may never have sold a million records, traveled to gigs via private airplane or experienced much else commonly

to much critical acclaim. This led to tours with Agent Orange, A Static

associated with rock stardom, Sacramento-based Lonely Kings

Lullaby, The Bled and others as well as dates on the infamous punk rock

have long since established themselves as underground rock legends.

summer camp, the Vans Warped Tour. In 2001 the band went back into the

They are a “band’s band,” if you will, and chances are, some of your

studio with Cameron Webb (Social Distortion, Strung Out) to record their

favorite artists from back in the day have these guys’ cell phone

sophomore release, Crowning Glory, also released via Fearless Records

numbers on lock. Formed in the early ‘90s by vocalist/guitarist/primary

in 2002. Other notable releases include two split CDs, one for Sessions

songwriter Jake Desrochers and drummer Jason Wilkinson (the two

Records and one for Coldfront Records, The Ides of March (out 2003 via

remaining original members; the group is now rounded out by bassist

Rise Records), and The End of Forever (out 2006 via Flight 13 Records). All

Emile Janicot and lead guitarist Johnny Deluca, both of whom have been

in all, the Lonely Kings have completed 15 U.S. tours, been to Hawaii twice,

in the band nearly a decade), Lonely Kings have had a long history of

Canada four times, Europe seven times (once with Hot Water Music in

flirting with major success, coming ever-so-close time and time again to

2005), the United Kingdom four times (once with the Misfits), and a bunch

“making it big” and reveling in fame like so many of their close friends

of West Coast runs. They have become band buddies and/or have shared

have. But they’ve never bitched or complained too much, never called it

the stage with groups such as AFI, Papa Roach, At the Drive In, Thursday,

quits or took an elongated hiatus. Lonely Kings have always been there,

Alkaline Trio, Strung Out, Sublime, Saves the Day—the list goes on and on.

a constant force in underground rock music and a fine example to bands

Submerge recently sat down with Desrochers and Janicot to talk about

young and old.

their upcoming full-length record, American Heartache, their Rock for

After performing countless self-booked tours and cutting endless demos and 7-inch vinyl splits throughout the early and mid-‘90s, Fearless

14

Records released Lonely Kings’ debut full-length album What If? in 1999

Issue 99 • November 28 – December 12, 2011

Tots charity gig at Ace of Spades on Dec. 23 and to bullshit about the band’s past.

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

RESTaURaNT & NIghT clUB

I’m curious, having toured overseas so much in the past, what was the language barrier like?

Emile Janicot: I mean, I speak French and Spanish and a little bit of German. But really you just kind of speak rock ‘n’ roll, that’s what people know all over, you know?

Seeing so many groups around you “make it big” commercially, bands like AFI, Papa Roach, etc. What’s that like? Are you ever envious or jealous?

Jake Desrochers: It hurts every time for sure. Nowadays not so much, but when you see bands like you take off in the same year, the year that you’re the hottest your band has ever been… It was harder back then, because we were right there at the cusp.

And working hard, too.

JD: Yeah, exactly. Like we got bumped on a tour with Face to Face for Alkaline Trio. We got bumped on a second AFI tour one time because they took out Jimmy Eat World when they started to pop. So we’ve lost out to some amazing bands on some of those tours that could have broke us. Looking back, it’s just amazing to have been in the ring, but I was fucking pissed because I needed it. I don’t know though, it’s like we still get good gigs, so you could take it two ways. Some of these bands aren’t even around anymore.

EJ: A lot of these bands too like Papa Roach, Hot Water Music, AFI—we’re all friends with them. We get into all their shows free, they respect us, they’re always like, “We love your music!” But it’s hard to be like, “Give us a show. Give us this, give us that.”

JD: And knowing their lives, I don’t envy it sometimes. It’s super hard. I just try to feel like God or whoever is in charge had a different plan for us or for me personally, and just try not to fight it too much and to be grateful for what I do have, which is an amazing group of dudes that play quality American rock. We’re still doing it. Like, what the fuck? It’s crazy, after every practice I’m just like blown away.

I’ve always thought that Lonely Kings were one of those bands that has just as much “street cred,” if not more, than bands that started in the same place you did but made it huge. Would you agree?

EJ: We do have that!

JD: I don’t think we’d still be here if we would have gotten famous when we wanted to.

Yeah, how things would have changed if a major label came knocking? A lot of times it ends up being not the right move for the band.

EJ: We knew bands that did that; they got good really quick, they got signed and sponsored and this and that. We’d have already toured with them, and then they’d be done in two years. We’re still here.

JD: We’ve seen bands come and go. [Laughs] Hell, we’ve seen genres come and go.

“We’ve seen bands come and go.

Hell, we’ve seen genres come and go.”

– Jake Desrochers, Lonely Kings SubmergeMag.com

Your band has always had a sort of rough-around-theedges vibe. Has that been natural? Were there ever periods where you were trying to polish it up more?

JD: It wasn’t purposeful. Every record I’ve tried to make some pop masterpiece and to write that golden hit in the sky. I’ve tried every single time. But we are so rough around the edges, and I can’t write anything that doesn’t mean something to me. I can’t be too tongue in cheek, I can’t write all open chords, I have to keep it weird. As pop-y as it is, I want it to be just as weird, just to reflect what we’re going through. I just always liked bands’ bands in the way that there’s something raw to it. Maybe it’s my influences. But trust me, you think Fearless didn’t want to hear a hit? The second record, they wanted that to go, that was the whole plan. And they were sitting there in the studio screaming at me to come up with something. And then here I am writing it in Latin or some shit, shooting myself in the foot creatively, but I thought it’d be cool because it would be different. But sometimes what is different isn’t what’s cool.

EJ: Also, on our records we like to put out stuff that we can recreate live. A lot of bands have backing vocal tracks, backing guitar tracks and all kinds of triggers and stuff like that. We don’t use any of that, we are straightforward.

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How does the material on American Heartache compare to past Lonely Kings releases?

EJ: It’s more mature. Jake and I have really found how to complete our songwriting craft, to strip away all the layers and all the bullshit. Only the best songs are going to make it. Some of the songs are different, but it’s going to be a Lonely Kings record for sure. We haven’t even heard the whole thing ourselves. All we hear are bits and pieces that Michael [Rosen, producer/engineer] sends to us.

JD: I don’t even care if it takes off or does well for us. I know I will have done my best work. And the fact we had to do it sporadically has made the songs so much better, because we’ve shed a couple every step of the way and really peeled the layers back to just quality shit.

It was a two-year recording process, basically. It was as if someone gave you a studio for two years and told you to write a record.

EJ: We probably did 25 to 28 songs for this record, and there’s only going to be 10 or 11, maybe 12, on it. We might let Jake do an acoustic one by himself. It’s been a long haul, but it’s going to be worth it.

This record is yours in that you own the masters, not a record label. When it’s totally done are you going to pull in favors from old friends and/or shop it around? Or, do you think you’ll put it out yourself true DIY Look for American Heartache to be released sometime early next style? year. In the meantime, see Lonely JD: If it has to be, but Kings headline Ace of Spades on it’s pretty freaking Dec. 23 at the bands’ sixth annual Rock for Tots, a toy drive for good so I’m hoping that Sacramento Salvation Army. Bring someone will be like, a toy and receive a raffle ticket “Damn!” and the songs for prizes from local vendors.

Doors open at 6:30 p.m., and the will talk for us. event is all ages.

Mansions on the Moon

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Jan 16 andy Grammer w/ ryan Star Jan 19 Keller Williams Jan 21 Bill champain Jan 25 the Pimps of Joytime Jan 27 & 28 tainted Love Jan 31 the Wood Brothers Feb 4 Secret chiefs 3/ Dengue Fever Feb 9 Diego’s Umbrella

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Issue 99 • November 28 – December 12, 2011

15

1417 R STREET SACRAMENTO

T h u R S dAy

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Issue 99 • November 28 – December 12, 2011

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17

Be a Giver!

The 2011 Submerge Holiday Gift Guide

By Submerge Staff

E

very year it happens: the holidays come and your shopping list grows and grows. You’ve got your family, friends, significant others, co-workers and more, all equally deserving of a thoughtful, cool and unique gift from you. Whether you’re short on ideas or just looking for some inspiration, Submerge is here to help. We’re proud to introduce our 2011 Holiday Gift Guide! We’ve got all sorts of neat stuff in here; everything from Spy ski/snowboard goggles designed by local artist Skinner to a handmade necklace by Rad Geometry made with local salvaged wood. Need something for mom?

Check out the Dropp Bowl by Menu, available at Lumens. It’s a bowl that looks like an action-suspended splash of paint. How clever! How about something for your dad, uncle, boyfriend/ husband or anyone else who's hopped on the San Francisco 49ers bandwagon? Check out the 49ers Reyn Spooner Hawaiian Shirt (there’s Oakland Raiders ones too), available at Swanberg’s for Men. It doesn’t matter whether you give a little or give a lot, it only matters that you show you care.

These stylish plates

from Mexico by artist Abraham Linden

are available at Spanglish Arte and would look great either on a wall or dinner table. Prices range from $29–$39, sets available.

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Issue 99 • November 28 – December 12, 2011

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

This handmade

salvaged wood necklace by Shane Bellmer

of Rad Geometry, available at Bows and Arrows for $32, would look great on your wife, girlfriend or, if you have a hip mom, on her too.

Every Rad Geometry piece is unique, just like every woman in your life.

Make any kitchen counter look cooler instantly with the Dropp Bowl by Menu, available at Lumens in various colors for $65.

Ski resorts are already starting to open, and it’s supposed to be another La Niña type winter, which means snow. Lots of snow. To look extra fly on the hill this year, get your hands on the Spy Trevor Goggles designed by local artist Skinner, available for special order at Ground Zero Clothing and Boardshop locations for around $80.

Help the baby-bearing couples on your list keep their little nugget looking clean and professional with the Business Time Onesie from Sacramento-based Ana Apple Designs, available at Never Felt Better Vegan Shop for $28.

Hydroponics • Grow Lights Grow Huts • Organic Potting Soils Herb & Vegetable Starts and more!

SubmergeMag.com

Issue 99 • November 28 – December 12, 2011

19

We’re Back! just when you thought it was safe to go back to scotch & water...

the

brodys

The music festival enthusiast on your list will surely appreciate this Roll Up Fleece Lawn Blanket, available for $15 through locally based website Festivalfunkjunk.com.

Whether they're tired at Treasure Island or partied out at Outside Lands, they’ll be happy to lay their heads down on this.

friday, decemBer 9th G St. WunderBar 228 G St daviS, ca

The BEST Place in Sacramento to Get Your Guitar Fixed & Learn How to Play It!

Cute folk-art mirrors from Spanglish Arte would look great hanging from a Christmas tree or on a bathroom wall. Made in Mexico from recycled aluminum, prices range from $12–$36.

Guitar lessons make great gifts!

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Quality Guitar Repair By Dave Lynch

3248 J Street • Sacramento (916) 441-6555 • GuitarWorkshopOnline.com

20

Issue 99 • November 28 – December 12, 2011

SAT DEc 10 (8Pm) reAding Richard St Ofle, Josh Fernandez, Jessalyn Wakefield, Shirley Posh

SAT DEc 15 (8Pm) nerd nigHt: CAtAn HOSTED

BY HAILEY BOP Fri DEc 16 (8Pm) LiVe MUSiC Hearts+Horses CD RELEASE SHOW

Afternoon Teacup Collection, Randy McKean

mON DEc 19 (8Pm) LiVe MUSiC COnCERTS4CHARITY PRESEnTS

Tracy Shedd, Desario, Allen Clapp & His Orchestra

shop bows & arrows instore or online this holiday etsy.com/shop/bowsandarrowsvintage

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

Bay-Area NFL teams are kicking ass this year, so help your dad or uncle or husband/boyfriend look like a true fan with these San Francisco

49ers and Oakland Raiders Reyn Spooner Hawaiian Shirts, available at Swanberg’s for Men for $73.

You might need to learn how to tell time again with these uber-stylish Nooka Watches, available at Legacy Boutique, but at least you’ll look really cool doing it. Sleek, minimal, hip, unique and intuitive, these watches make a statement without flashy bling. Prices range from $100–$150.

Two local boys, Brian Lee and Chad Nelson, needed a way to tame their wild mustaches and so Cowboy Comb was born. Packaged in a cardboard matchbox style case, this bad boy can handle any beard or ‘stache you throw at it.

It's available in pink for the ladies, too, and is great for bangs, flat ironing and more. Available at Anthony’s Barber Shop for just $5. Yeehaw!

Delightfully soft and knit in 100-percent vegan bamboo yarn, the Fujita Circle Scarf available for $70 at Never Felt Better Vegan Shop will keep you (or someone on your shopping list) warm and cozy all winter long. The fabric is double layered and cabled on both sides, a sturdy scarf indeed.

Music is the best gift, and it’s even better when it comes from l ocal artists’ CDs available at ZuhG Life Store. Jam-y and groovy? Try Arden Park Roots’ Pipe Dreams or ZuhG’s Free Love. Sing-along? Try Musical Charis’ Ace of Space. Hip-hop, metal, pop—they’ve got it all. It’s the best representation of regional music available on shelves anywhere in town.

SubmergeMag.com

Issue 99 • November 28 – December 12, 2011

21

with

plus special guest

The airborne Toxic evenT plus special guest

Drowning Man

ThURSDAY, DECEMbER 8 7:30 p.m. doors

SATURDAY, DECEMbER 31 7 p.m. doors

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Tickets Available @ Dimple Records, The Beat, Armadillo (Davis) Online: AceOfSpadesSac.com By Phone: 1.877.GND.CTRL OR 916.443.9202

Issue 99 • November 28 – December 12, 2011

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

This vintage ‘70s brass and bone carved bangle, complete with crosshatch and starburst carvings, is available for just $13 through Bows and Arrows’ Etsy site. Although this piece is one-ofa-kind, they have other vintage bangles as well.

Your parents will love it, your friends will love it: the Menu Wine Decanter is simple and sleek. It has a broad base to ensure proper aeration and a precision pouring lip to avoid unsightly drips.

Available for $80 at Lumens.

Cool one-of-a-kind wallets by Kitten Camaro are a great gift idea. And for just $14 available at Never Felt Better Vegan Shop, they are easy on the pocket book, or, uh, wallet.

o h n t y’s n A bArber shop

cuts 14 hair Straight Razor Shaves $16

$

2408 21 st St.• Sac •(916) 457-1120 tueSday-Friday 9am-6pm • Saturday 10am-4pm SubmergeMag.com

Issue 99 • November 28 – December 12, 2011

23

m u s i c , co m e d y & m i sc . C a l e nd a r

Nov. 28 –Dec. 12 submergemag.com/calendar use a qr scanner on your smart phone to view calendar online

11.28 Monday

The Boxing Donkey Open Mic Variety Night, 8 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Fox & Goose Open Mic Night, 7:30 p.m.

Harlow’s Melt Banana, Retox, Nick Reinhart, Jon Bafus, 8 p.m.

Luigi’s Fungarden Lemuria, Little Medusas, Union Hearts, Shot Down, 8 p.m.

Luna’s Cafe Nebraska Mondays hosted by Ross Hammond, Henry Robinett and Annie Jay, Russell Brown Duo, 7:30 p.m.

Naked Lounge Downtown Jazz Session w/ The Joe Mazzafero Quintet feat. Cave Women, 8:30 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Ruggles Warehouse Xibalba, Alpha and Omega, Plead the Fifth, Mountain Mover, 7 p.m.

Sol Collective Microphone Mondays Open Mic, 6 p.m.

The Stoney Inn Karaoke, 9 p.m.

University Union Ballroom, CSUS Miami Horror, Geographer, DJ Shaun Slaughter, 7:30 p.m.

11.29 Tuesday

Ace of Spades Trigger Hippy, Dead Winter Carpenters, Jabe Beyer, 7 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Laughs Unlimited Karaoke, 8 p.m.

Marilyn’s Acoustic Open Mic, 8 p.m.

Mondo Bizarro Songwriters Acoustic Open Mic, 8 p.m.

Odd Fellows Hall Allen Stone, The Spokes, Ant Chedda, Afterglow, DJ Rockbottom, 7 p.m.

Old Ironsides Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub DJs Rigatony, Alazzawi, 9 p.m.

Press Club FFFreak w/ CrookOne, DJ Hailey, Dogtones, 9:30 p.m.

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Issue 99 • November 28 – December 12, 2011

Red Hawk Casino Ryan Hernandez, 7 p.m.

Shine Reggae Happy Hour w/ The Inside Story, 6 p.m.; Jazz Jam, 8 p.m.

Sol Collective Youth DJ Class, 4 p.m.

The Stoney Inn Open Mike, 8 p.m.

T2 Nightclub & Lounge Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Torch Club Hans Eberbach, 5:30 p.m.; Island of Black & White, 9 p.m.

11.30 Wednesday

Club Car The Double Shots, 7:30 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m.

District 30 Sound Circus w/ Mann, DJ Billy Lane, DJ Benji Lugo, fashion show by Jesus Medrano, 9 p.m.

Fox & Goose LowBrow, 8 p.m.

G St. Pub DJ Larry, 10 p.m.

Harlow’s Girl In A Coma, Fences, 8 p.m.

Laughs Unlimited Karaoke, 8 p.m.

Marilyn’s DeWitt and Franklin, 9 p.m.

Mix DJ Peeti V, DJ Gabe Xavier, 9 p.m.

Naked Lounge Downtown Old Screen Door, Bright Faces, Martin Purtill, 8:30 p.m.

Old Ironsides Open Mic w/ host Lare Crawley, 8:30 p.m.

Plea for Peace Center Gardening Not Architecture, Chris Staples, 6:30 p.m.

Red Hawk Casino Ryan Hernandez, 7 p.m.

Sacramento Community Center Theater The United States Air Force Concert Band of the Golden West, 6 p.m.

Shenanigans Acoustic Wednesdays, 8 p.m.

Torch Club Acoustic Open Mic, 5:30 p.m.; Keri Car Band, 9 p.m.

Uncle Vitos (Davis) Boom Bip w/ The Flower Vato, 10 p.m.

University Union Redwood Room, CSUS Nooner w/ Exquisite Corps, 12 p.m.

Veterans Memorial Auditorium (Grass Valley) Clint Black, Anderson Family Bluegrass Band

12.01 thursday

The Boardwalk Force Multiplied, Ellipsis, Judhead, Envirusment, Work Project, 7 p.m.

Club Car Songwriters Showcase, 8 p.m.

The Coffee Garden Open Mic Night, 8 p.m.

District 30 I Love House w/ Sydney Blu, Stylus, Rossi, 9 p.m.

Dive Bar Dueling Pianos, 9 p.m.

Golden Bear DJ Shaun Slaughter’s Revolving Party, 10 p.m.

Marilyn’s Rock On Live Band Karaoke, 9:30 p.m.

Naked Lounge Downtown Island of Black & White, Garage Jazz Architects, Doug Newton, 8:30 p.m.

Old Ironsides Chikading!, Futurewang, DJ Mike Rodriguez, 8 p.m.

Power Balance Pavilion 107.9 The End Presents Jingle Ball 2011 w/ Selena Gomez, Cobra Starship, Gym Class Heroes, Jojo, Breathe Carolina, 7 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Erin McKinney, 9:30 p.m.

Red Hawk Casino Ryan Hernandez, 7 p.m.

Shenanigans Reggae Night, 10:30 p.m.

Shine Open Mic Night, 7 p.m.

Sol Collective Skratch Pad, 9 p.m.

The Stoney Inn The Chris Gardner Band, 10 p.m.

Torch Club X Trio, 5 p.m.; Harley White Jr. feat. Aaron King, 9 p.m.

12.02 Friday

Ace of Spades Tesla, Built By Stereo, 7 p.m.

Blue Cue Live Band Karaoke, 9 p.m.

The Blue Lamp 30.06, Ungoliant, Vital Perception, Legions Requiem, 9 p.m.

The Boardwalk The Chariot, Vanna, The Greenery, Former Thieves, Listener, Paint Over Pictures, Alegion, 6:30 p.m.

Cache Creek Casino Timothy B. Schmit, 9 p.m.

Capitol Garage Get Down to the Champion Sound w/ DJ Esef and special guests, 10 p.m.

Center for the Arts Elvin Bishop, 8 p.m.

Golden Bear DJ Crook, 10 p.m.

Harlow’s Analog Jazz (Night of Christmas Jazz), 7 p.m.; Method Echo, The Elevators, Matt Masih and the Messengers, 10 p.m.

Luigi’s Fungarden Sherman Baker, Brolly the Well, Damon & Mason, 8:30 p.m.

Marilyn’s The Sizzling Sirens w/ DJ Larry Rodriguez, 9:30 p.m.

Old Ironsides The Guverment, South Lot, 9 p.m.

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

Powerhouse Pub Red Elvises, Spazmatics, 10 p.m.

Press Club DJ Rue, 9 p.m.

Shenanigans The Silent Game, Model A, Eightfourseven, 8 p.m.

Shine The Shants, Golden Cadillacs, John Conley (of Desario), 8 p.m.

Studio 21 Battle of the Bands, 6 p.m.

Torch Club Pailer & Fratis, 5:30 p.m.; Mick Martin & the Blues Rockers, 9 p.m.

UC Davis: Jackson Hall University Chorus, 7 p.m.

ZuhG Life Store Mac Russ, ZuhG (Acoustic), Governor Tiggy, 4 p.m.

12.03 Saturday

Ace of Spades Tesla, Built By Stereo, 7 p.m.

The Blue Lamp N-Men Christmas Party w/ JFA, RAD, The Bleedin Hearts, 8 p.m.

The Boardwalk Jack Ketch, The Kennedy Veil, Awaiting the Apocalypse, Dropseven, G.B.A.A., Bipolar, Beyond All Ends, 6:30 p.m.

Cache Creek Casino Tae Jin Ah, 8 p.m.

Club Retro Rock Inc. Student Showcase, 2 p.m.

Golden Bear Sweaty w/ DJ Whores, 10 p.m.

Harlow’s Midnight Players, 10 p.m.

Harrah’s Lake Tahoe The Dan Band, 7:30 p.m.

Jackson Rancheria Big Bad Voodoo Daddy, 7 p.m.

Javalounge Art Lessing, Gentlemen Surfer, 8 p.m.

Laughs Unlimited Road Test, 4 p.m.

Marilyn’s The Bell Boys, South Lot, 9:30 p.m.

MontBleu Resort Casino Sola Rosa, 8 p.m.

Old Ironsides The Lipstick Weekender, 9:30 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Black Eyed Dempseys, Young Dubliners, 10 p.m.

Press Club DJ Larry Rodriguez, 9 p.m.

Ruggles Warehouse Slick 46, Toughskins, Pressure Point, Old Firm Casuals, 7 p.m.

Shenanigans New Pioneers, The Carly DuHain Band, 9 p.m.

Shine Bailey Zindel, Honyock, Prairie Wood, 8 p.m.

Torch Club Johnny Guitar Knox, 5 p.m.; Mofo Party Band, 9 p.m.

ZuhG Life Store Rob Burnell, Auturo, Ralph Gordan, 1 p.m.

12.04 Sunday

Ace of Spades Fair to Midland, Dead Letter Circus, Aficionado, A Lot Like Birds, Anima Fracture, 6 p.m.

SubmergeMag.com

The Blue Lamp Kevin Seconds, Russ Rankin (of Good Riddance), Dino The Girl, 9:30 p.m.

Cache Creek Casino Chang Di, Liu Ying Hung, 2 p.m. & 5 p.m.

Capitol Garage Karaoke w/ Jeff Jenkins, 9 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 8 p.m.

District 30 Jesi Naomi & the Trippers, 9 p.m.

Laughs Unlimited Nikki D & the Machine, 3 p.m.

Luigi’s Fungarden Mikal Kronin, Babs Johnson Gang, Les Fine Steps, 7 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Tom Rigney, 3 p.m.

Press Club Sunday Night Soul Party w/ DJ Larry & DJ Hailey, 9 p.m.

Torch Club Aaron King & Friends, 4 p.m.; Merle Jagger, 8 p.m.

ZuhG Life Store The NonDrummer Drum Off!, 2 p.m.

12.05 Monday

The Boxing Donkey Open Mic Variety Night, 8 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Fox & Goose Open Mic Night, 7:30 p.m.

Luigi’s Fungarden Appetite, Radiation City, Lost Lander, 8 p.m.

Luna’s Cafe Nebraska Mondays hosted by Ross Hammond, The Lost Trio, Harley White Jr. Trio, 7:30 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Sol Collective Microphone Mondays Open Mic, 6 p.m.

12.06

12.07 Wednesday

Club Car The Double Shots, 7:30 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Harlow’s Sierra Hull, Rob Ickes, 7 p.m.

Laughs Unlimited Karaoke, 8 p.m.

Old Ironsides Open Mic w/ host Lare Crawley, 8:30 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Playboy School, Adam Roth Project, Color The Sound, Verbatim, 9 p.m.

Shenanigans Acoustic Wednesdays, 8 p.m.

Torch Club Albie Christmas Party, 6:30 p.m.; Neckbone, 9 p.m.

UC Davis: Studio Theatre Tia Fuller Quartet, 8 p.m.

Uncle Vitos (Davis) Boom Bip w/ The Flower Vato, 10 p.m.

12.08 Thursday

Ace of Spades Airborne Toxic Event, Drowning Man, 7 p.m.

The Blue Lamp Red Fang, Black Mackerel, Horseneck, 8 p.m.

The Boardwalk A Hero A Fake, 7 p.m. continued on page 27

>>

1050 20TH ST MIDTOWN SACRAMENTO

916-447-1255

Tuesday

The Blue Lamp Jonathan Richman (of Modern Lovers), 8 p.m.

Center for the Arts Craig Campbell, 7:30 P.M. Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Marilyn’s Acoustic Open Mic, 8 p.m.

Mondo Bizarro Songwriters Acoustic Open Mic, 8 p.m.

Old Ironsides Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub DJs Rigatony, Alazzawi, 9 p.m.

Press Club FFFreak w/ CrookOne, DJ Hailey, Dogtones, 9:30 p.m.

Shine Reggae Happy Hour w/ The Inside Story, 6 p.m.; Jazz Jam, 8 p.m.

Sol Collective Youth DJ Class, 4 p.m.

T2 Nightclub & Lounge Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Torch Club Quinn Hedges, 5:30 p.m.; Lew Fratis Trio, 9 p.m.

ZuhG Life Store Open Mix, 6 p.m.

11/25 11/26 11/27 11/28 12/2 12/3 12/4 12/5 12/9 12/10

K SERA//I THE MIGHTY//EARLY STATES//GENTLEMAN CALLER THE FOUR EYES//NACHO BUSINESS// THE CROISSANTS ENLOWS//SICK SECRETS//DARLING CHEMICALIA LEMURIA//LITTLE MEDUSAS//SHOT DOWN//UNION HEARTS Jerry Perry Presents: SHERMAN BAKER AND MORE… 11-5 VISIT WITH SANTA! & 6-11 MIDTOWN MONTHLY HOLIDAY PARTY!!! kdvs Presents: MIKAL CRONIN AND MORE! Cool as Folk Presents: APPETITE//RADIATION CITY//LOST LANDER DEAN-O-HOLICS HOLIDAY SHOW! PIERCED ARROWS (DEAD MOON)//CHARLES ALBRIGHT//G.GREEN

DOORS OPEN AT 8:00PM SUNDAY-WEDNESDAY 8:30PM THURSDAY-SATURDAY ALL AGES...ALL THE TIME Issue 99 • November 28 – December 12, 2011

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Issue 99 • November 28 – December 12, 2011

95825

m o n - S a t 11 - 7 p m • S U n 1 2 - 5 p m

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

Capitol City Hotel Karaoke, 8:30 p.m.

Club Car Songwriters Showcase, 8 p.m.

The Coffee Garden Open Mic Night, 8 p.m.

District 30 I Love House w/ StarKillers, Danny Mijangos, 9 p.m.

Dive Bar Dueling Pianos, 9 p.m.

G St. Wunderbar the Broadys, A Single Second, 9 p.m.

Golden Bear DJ Shaun Slaughter’s Revolving Party, 10 p.m.

Marilyn’s Rock On Live Band Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Buck Ford, 9:30 p.m.

Shenanigans Reggae Night, 10:30 p.m.

Shine Open Mic Night, 7 p.m.

Torch Club X Trio, 5 p.m.; Harley White Jr. feat. Aaron King, 9 p.m.

UC Davis: Jackson Hall Mariachi Sol de México de Jóse Hernàndez, 8 p.m.

UC Davis: Studio Theatre Tia Fuller Quartet, 8 p.m.

12.09 FRIDAY

Ace of Spades Cage The Elephant, 7 p.m.

Blue Cue Live Band Karaoke, 9 p.m.

The Blue Lamp Jesse Sykes and the Sweet Hereafter, The Soft White Sixties, Damon Wycoff, 9 p.m.

The Boardwalk Smile Empty Soul, Prylosis, FallRise, EgoStall, Misamore, Zen Arcadia, 7 p.m.

Capitol Garage Get Down to the Champion Sound w/ DJ Esef and special guests, 10 p.m.

Golden Bear DJ Crook, 10 p.m.

Harlow’s Orgone, ZuhG, 9:30 p.m.

Javalounge Nero Order, (Waning), Wreck and Reference, Liver Cancer, 7:30 p.m.

Luigi’s Fungarden Dean-O-Holics Holiday Show, 8:30 p.m.

Marilyn’s Pushtonawanda, Be Brave Bold Robot, 9 p.m.

Mondo Bizarro Hilary Marckx, 9 p.m.

Old Ironsides Jet Black Popes, Wannabe Barnabe, 9 p.m.

The Park Ultra Lounge Gabe Xavier, 9 p.m.

Plea for Peace Center A Night in Hollywood, Forever We Are, The Adventurous Type, Clockwork Hero, 7 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Audio Dub, 10 p.m.

Press Club DJ Rue, 9 p.m.

Shenanigans Deadlands, Dedvolt, Art of Chaos, Underground Addicts, 9 p.m.

Studio 21 And Came Back Brutal, Deadlines and Diamonds, Symphonies Set Sail, Alacer, 6:30 p.m Thunder Valley Casino Resort Air Supply, 8 p.m.

Torch Club Pailer & Fratis, 5:30 p.m.; Pat Wilder, 9 p.m.

SubmergeMag.com

UC Davis: Jackson Hall Mariachi Sol de México de Jóse Hernàndez, 11 a.m.

UC Davis: Studio Theatre Tia Fuller Quartet, 8 p.m.

ZuhG Life Store Local Industry Hip Hop Show, 4 p.m.

12.10 Saturday

The Boardwalk Spineshank, White Minorities, Animism, Force of Habit, Some Fear None, Evil Plan, 7 p.m.

Cache Creek Casino Y&T, 8 p.m.

Golden Bear Sweaty w/ DJ Whores, 10 p.m.

Harlow’s Charlie Hunter, Bhi Bhiman, 7:30 p.m.

Harrah’s Lake Tahoe Mavis Staples, 7:30 p.m.

Javalounge (Waning), Nero Order, Wreck and Reference, Liver Cancer, art by Daniel Garrard, 8 p.m.

Laughs Unlimited The Groove Deluxe Band, 4 p.m.

Luigi’s Fungarden Pierced Arrows, Charles Albright, G Green, 8 p.m.

Marilyn’s Larry Belton Jr., 9 p.m.

Old Ironsides Fascination, 9:30 p.m.

Phono Select Art Bazaar & Bizarre Art w/ Dino The Girl, Deranged Designs, Kepi Ghoulie, Dog Party, Allyson Seconds, 5 p.m.

Plea for Peace Center Point of View, 8 p.m.

Power Balance Pavilion 105.1 KNCI Country Christmas w/ Montgomery Gentry, Craig Campbell, Danny Gokey, The JaneDear Girls, Attwater, 7 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Tommy Castro, 10 p.m.

Press Club DJ Larry Rodriguez, 9 p.m.

Shenanigans Fair Struggle, California Medication, Adonis DNA, Wings of Innocence, 8 p.m.

Shine Motoshi Kosako, Ricky Berger, Jason Galbraith, 8 p.m.

Sol Collective Aesop (of Living Legends), J*Ras, Lil Chase & Lady Grace, Zebulon, DJ Shoots, 9 p.m.

Swabbies on the River Cinema 7, 6 p.m.

Thunder Valley Casino Resort Hawaiian Holiday w/ Makaha Son, Andy Bumatai, Steven, Faith Ako, 7 p.m.

Torch Club IBC Challenge Used Blues Band, 4 p.m.; Chris Cain, 9 p.m.

UC Davis: Studio Theatre Tia Fuller Quartet, 8 p.m.

ZuhG Life Store Molly Pease, Orange Morning, 2 p.m.

12.11 Sunday

Ace of Spades Supersuckers, The Blasters, Three Bad Jacks, Avenue Saints, 6:30 p.m.

The Blue Lamp David Bazan (of Pedro the Lion), 8 p.m.

Cache Creek Casino Ichiban Idol, 5 p.m.

Capitol Garage Karaoke w/ Jeff Jenkins, 9 p.m.

Center for the Arts Dan Hicks, 7:30 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 8 p.m.

Harlow’s Mansions on the Moon, 7 p.m.

Laughs Unlimited Mere Mortals, 3 p.m.

Naked Lounge Downtown The Dry Creek Rounders, Gary Allen, 8 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Max Cabello, 3 p.m.

Press Club Sunday Night Soul Party w/ DJ Larry & DJ Hailey, 9 p.m.

Torch Club Blues Jam, 4 p.m.; Tessie Marie and the Poor Man Band, 8 p.m.

UC Davis: Studio Theatre Lara Downes Family Concert, 10 a.m. & 3 p.m.

ZuhG Life Store Lava Pups, Gabriella Ruiz, 2 p.m.

12.12 Monday

The Boxing Donkey Open Mic Variety Night, 8 p.m.

Fox & Goose Open Mic Night, 7:30 p.m.

Luna’s Cafe Nebraska Mondays hosted by Ross Hammond, Drifting Shapes, Bristle, 7:30 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Sol Collective Microphone Mondays Open Mic, 6 p.m.

Comedy Crest Theatre Adam Carolla Hates the Holidays, Dec. 9, 8 p.m.

Laughs Unlimited Donald Lacy, G King, Dec. 1 - 4, Thurs., 8 p.m.; Fri. & Sat., 8 p.m. & 10:30 p.m.; Sun., 7 p.m.

Comedy Open Mic Showcase, Dec. 6, 8 p.m.

Vince Morris, Jeremy Essig, Dec. 8 - 11, Thurs., 8 p.m.; Fri. & Sat., 8 p.m. & 10:30 p.m.; Sun., 7 p.m.

Luna's Cafe Keith Lowell Jensen's Comedy Night, every Wednesday, 8 p.m.

Naked Lounge Downtown World's Worst Doctors Comedy Improv, Nov. 17, 8:30 p.m.

Punchline Comedy Club Indian Comedy Jam w/ Kabir Singh, DJ Sandu, Tapan Trivedi, Nov. 30, 8 p.m.

Paul Mooney, Ngaio Bealum, Joe Nguyen, Dec. 1 - 4, Thurs., 8 p.m.; Fri. & Sat., 8 p.m. & 10 p.m.; Sun., 8 p.m.

Sacramento Comedy Showcase, Dec. 7, 8 p.m.

Felipe Esparza, Dec. 8 - 11, Thurs., 8 p.m.; Fri. & Sat., 8 p.m. & 10 p.m.; Sun., 8 p.m.

Sacramento Comedy Sportz Mayhem Improv Comedy, every Thursday, 9 p.m.

ComedySportz, every Friday & Saturday, 8 p.m.

Sacramento Comedy Spot Improv 1 Continuous, Harold Night, Nov. 30 & Dec. 7, 7 p.m.

Improv 1 Continuous, Cage Match, Dec. 1 & 8, 7 p.m.

Anti Cooperation League, Hugh vs. Drunk Improv, Dec. 3, 9 p.m.

Open Mic Scramble, Dec. 4 & 11, 7 p.m.

Real (funny) Housewives of Rio Linda, Dec. 9, 9 p.m.

The Stoney Inn Comedy Open Mic, every Monday, 8 p.m.

Tommy T’s Denny Johnston, Dec. 1 - 4, Thurs., 7:30 p.m.; Fri. & Sat., 7:30 p.m. & 9:30 p.m.; Sun., 7:30 p.m.

Debi Gutierrez, Dec. 8 - 11, Thurs., 7:30 p.m.; Fri. & Sat., 7:30 p.m. & 9:30 p.m.; Sun., 7:30 p.m.

Misc.

Beatnik Studios Beatnik Homemade Holidays Craft Fair, Dec. 11, 11 a.m.

Blue Cue Trivia Night, every Wednesday, 8 p.m.

Bows & Arrows Art Opening: Bows Collective Group Show, Dec. 2, 6 p.m.

Reading w/ Richard St. Ofle, Josh Fernandez, Shirley Posh, Jessalyn Wakefield, Dec. 10, 8 p.m.

The Boxing Donkey Trivia Night, every Tuesday, 8 p.m.

California Museum Riding Concrete: Skateboarding in California curated by Z-Boy Nathan Pratt, now through March, 2012 Davis Art Center Davis Art Gallery Holiday Sale, Dec. 2 - 4 Fox & Goose Pub Quiz, every Tuesday, 7 p.m.

Golden Bear Random Knowledge Trivia Night, every Wednesday, 8 p.m.

The Guild Theatre Movies on a Big Screen: Color Me Obsessed: A film about the Replacements, Dec. 4, 7 p.m.

John Natsoulas Gallery Poetry Night Reading Series w/ Leonore Wilson, Susan Kolodny, Dec. 1, 8 p.m.

Luna’s Cafe Poetry Unplugged, every Thursday, 8 p.m.

MAIYA Gallery A Leap of Faith feat. work

by Mary Czechan Coldren, Barbara De Wein, Maureen Hood, Kerstin Ronsiek, Marilyn Torchin and more, through Dec. 24 Powerhouse Pub Trivia Night, every Monday, 8 p.m.

Sacramento Fine Arts Center 17th Annual Holiday Artisan and Craft Fair, Dec. 9 - 11 Sacramento Outdoor Marketplace (8th & W Streets) SactoMoFo 3: Mobile Food Festival, Dec. 3, 11 a.m.

Shenanigans Watch it Live: Cotto vs.

Margarito II, Dec. 3, 6 p.m.

904 15th Street 443.2797 Between I & J • Downtown Sacramento

Nov-Dec TUES

Hans EbErbacH 5:30PM

29

Islandof black&WHItE 9PM

WED

acoustIc oPEn MIc 5:30PM kErIcarrband 9PM X trIo 5PM

30

THURS

1

FRI

2

HarlEyWHItEJr. fEat.aaron kIng9PM PaIlEr & fratIs 5:30PM

MIckMartIn

&tHEbluEsrockErs 9PM

JoHnny guItar knoX 5PM

SaT

3

SUn

4

TUES

6

WED

7

THURS

8

Mofo Party band 9PM

aaronkIngandfrIEnds4PM MErlE JaggEr8PM QuInn HEdgEs 5:30PM lEW fratIstrIo 9PM albIE cHrIstMas Party6:30PM nEckbonE 9PM X trIo 5PM

HarlEyWHItEJr. fEat.aaron kIng9PM PaIlEr & fratIs 5:30PM

9

Pat WIldEr 9PM

SaT

Ibc cHallEngE usEd bluEs band 4-7PM

SUn

bluEs JaM 4PM

FRI

10

cHrIscaIn9PM

tEssIEMarIEand 11 tHEPoor Manband8PM torchclub.Net

Issue 99 • November 28 – December 12, 2011

27

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28

Issue 99 • November 28 – December 12, 2011

Juno What I’m Sayin'?

Juno’s Kitchen and Delicatessen

3675 J Street • Sacramento

Words adam saake | photos Matthew Burks

Some chefs do it for the love, some do it for the fame and others do it because they don’t know what else they’d be doing if they weren’t in the kitchen. The latter describes Chef Mark Helms of Juno’s Kitchen and Delicatessen.

“This is what I do with my time. I can’t think of anything else to do. I have holes in my pants and a dirty hat; that’s me,” says Helms with a smile and a Lagunitas IPA in his hand.

His ball-cap-wearing, laidback persona is the perfect juxtaposition to the thoughtfully prepared, colorful and masterfully executed food that he serves at his newly opened East Sacramento restaurant. A nondescript location—tiny and dangerously unnoticeable, from which the likes of two recent ventures have come and gone (Babycakes and Urban Dawg), this wasn’t exactly his first choice.

“This is what came up. There’s not a lot of real estate that comes up to open a business in East Sacramento that already has a kitchen ready to go,” says Helms.

But as many Sacramento chefs have proven before, a lot can be done with a little space; and the line out the door and groups patiently waiting for tables is proof. Big flavors are born at Juno’s.

And what’s even more impressive is that most of the bread served is baked fresh on site, too.

The baguette and burger bun (I’ll come back to this) are from Acme Bread Company in Berkley, Calif., but the rest is house-made dough that is naturally leavened, using zero commercial yeast.

Sandwiches like the smoked salmon with creme fraiche vinaigrette, onion, cornichons, tomato, watermelon radish and arugula; or the Cabernet salami with aioli, tomato, red onion, lemon, olive oil and balsamic vinegar, are taken to the next level between two slices of freshly baked bread.

The process of making naturally leavened bread, a very old practice, takes much patience and attention. If Helms was using commercial yeast, versus the wild, air-born yeast used in his bread, his wait time for the dough to rise would be a lot shorter. His product takes time, love and effort and you can taste it the moment you bite into it. It’s not every day you find a baker, let alone a chef, making bread in this fashion.

“I don’t know if there’s anyone between myself and San Francisco that makes bread this way,” says Helms.

Fast food is championing some sort of product they call Angus burgers. But that ain’t no Angus burger, and the real deal is found at Juno’s.

Once you taste this, you may never go back to eating burgers anywhere else. To begin, the Acme bun was an excellent choice—and as I’ve said before, is such a hugely important component in the construction of a perfect burger. The bun has a thin top layer of crunch that gives way to soft bread and is a perfect complement to the medium-rare patty that is juicy and loaded with flavor. Roasted garlic aioli, caramelized onions and Manchego cheese knock this burger entirely out of the park.

There really isn’t much that Helms doesn’t do well. Choosing what you want to eat off the menu becomes a process of elimination, and if there’s a daily special that catches your eye, you’d better enjoy it before it’s gone. His soup du jour was vegetarian minestrone on the day that Submerge paid Juno’s a visit. Minestrone can be somewhat uneventful, a comfort food that satisfies as long as it’s hot; but Helms’ version was nothing short of amazing. Tender lima beans and celery, leafy greens and a perfectly spiced and salted broth made me think differently about what minestrone can be.

If you’re ever faced with the dilemma of craving high quality fare, but your bank account is as empty as your stomach, then Juno’s is just the spot that Helms would like to welcome you to. It’s a neighborhood joint where locals walk to dine, devout customers from Helms’ first Pocket-area restaurant Ravenous travel to taste and fellow foodies and industry folk gather to feel comfortable and eat. Helms likes it to be just like it is.

“To be honest, I’ve worked in fine dining for years and years—I’m really not into it,” says Helms candidly. “I really like this, I really like what I’m doing here. I think this is down to earth, that there are all walks of life that come in here and that’s really cool.”

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

\

The grindhouse

sUnday

saTURday

jan 15 feat.

taliB kweli

FeB 18

mlk weekend (no school / work on mon)

& res

le on sdaay, fri c 2 de

HarloW’s • 2708 J sT. • sacTo 21 & over • 8:00pM

cresT THeaTre • 1013 k sT. • sacTo Beat, crest Box all ages • 7:30pM tix @the office, tickets.com

Girl in a coma fences

Harlow’s • 2708 J st. • saCr amento • 21 & over • 8:00pm

Jonathan richman

feat. tommy larkins on the drums blue lamp • 1400 alHambra blvd. • saCramento • 21 & over • 8:00pm

Feeling the Love The Muppets

Walt Disney Pictures Words James Barone

They certainly don’t make them like they used to.

The Muppet Show ran five seasons between 1976 and 1981 and brought a rare kind of experience into American homes. Not since The Flinstones beforehand (or The Simpsons to follow) did a program have the ability to stimulate the minds of children as well as tickle the funny bones of their parents. Though its time on television wasn’t notable in longevity, its influence was far-reaching. The show spawned a series of theatrical releases, the last of which, 1999’s Muppets from Space, garnered very little attention at the box office. Walt Disney Pictures, whose last Muppets film, Muppet Treasure Island, was released in 1996, hopes to revitalize the franchise with the plainly titled The Muppets, co-written by and starring Jason Segel.

True to form, the story of The Muppets is as heartwarming as it is absurd. Gary (Segel) is the loving human brother of Walter, a Muppet. The two live a charmingly perfect life in Smalltown, U.S.A. Though the two brothers care about each other very much, they are not blind to the differences between them. Gary grows up into a man and enters into a wonderful relationship with Mary (Amy Adams) that is about to celebrate its tenth anniversary, but Walter remains forever short and made of felt. One thing that Gary and Walter do share in common is their love for The Muppet Show, which, for obvious reasons, becomes a touchstone for Walter throughout his life. To celebrate his impending anniversary with Mary, Gary offers to take her and his brother to Los Angeles to visit The Muppet Theater, which has fallen into disrepair over the years of neglect. As it turns out, evil oil tycoon Tex Richman (Chris Cooper) plans to buy the studio plot on which the theater stands and tear it down for the oil reserve beneath. Gary, Mary and Walter must then convince the Muppets to get the band back SubmergeMag.com

together, so to speak, after many years apart for one last show, a telethon to save the theater that was home to so many cherished memories.

Longtime fans will pick up on all the trademark moments. There’s sharp pop culture satire behind all the singing and dancing. In one such scene, vexed with trying to find a celebrity host for the telethon, Kermit the Frog is seen rummaging through his old Rolodex, scratching names such as Molly Ringwald off the list. There are also the numerous, off-the-wall celebrity cameos—from Dave Grohl to Mickey Rooney; Leslie Feist to Judd Hirsch. Characters often break the fourth wall, such as when Gary acknowledges to Mary that he’d just been involved in a dance number, and that signature self-deprecating wit that has served the Muppets well through the decades—and perhaps even left an indelible mark on a generation of people who prefer to downplay their own accomplishments.

But one thing you won’t find here is any shred of Gen X cynicism. This is a film with its heart firmly affixed to its sleeve—a wide-eyed, unabashed celebration of the Muppet legacy. Not only are the Jim Henson puppets praised for their nostalgic value, but they are also served up as a sort of tonic for the state of entertainment today.

The top-rated show on the network that hosts the Muppets’ telethon is a game show where teachers are punched in the face by students.

Also in the film, Richman strikes a deal with The Moopets (a satire within a satire), Fozzie Bear’s ex-backing band while he was performing in Reno, which Richman calls a cynical act for cynical times. The Muppets Vaudville-style comedy show may be old fashion in comparison, but it proves to be timeless.

Segel and co-writer Nicholas Stoller’s (Get Him to the Greek) script is fawning in its love for its puppet subjects, but it is also clever, engaging and hilarious at times. The songs too, as bright-eyed and bushy-tailed as can be, also have an underlying wink and nod that will delight audiences on multiple levels. Will The Muppets propel the title characters back into the spotlight? Maybe not, but you really can’t fault Segel and company for trying.

red fanG

Black Mackerel • Horseneck

blue lamp • 1400 alHambra blvd. • saCramento • 21 & over • 8:00pm

Jesse sykes &

the sweet hereafter

THe sofT WHiTe sixTies • DaMon Wycoff

wednesday

nov 30 TUesday

deC 6 THURsday

deC 8 FRiday

deC 9

blue lamp • 1400 alHambra blvd. • saCramento • 21 & over • 9:00pm

orGone ZuhG

Harlow’s • 2708 J st. • saCr amento • 21 & over • 9:30pm

charlie hunter Bhi Bhiman

Harlow’s • 2708 J st. • saCr amento • 21 & over • 7:30pm

david BaZan (of Pedro the lion) blue lamp • 1400 alHambra blvd. • saCramento • 21 & over • 8:00pm two Gallants maGic trick

Harlow’s • 2708 J st. • saCr amento • 21 & over • 8:00pm (John doe, exene, Billy Zoom, dJ BoneBrake)

x

sean wheeler & Zander schloss Black tiBetans

Harlow’s • 2708 J st. • saCr amento • 21 & over • 7:30pm

FRiday

deC 9 saTURday

deC 10 sUnday

deC 11 THURsday

deC 15 THURsday

deC 29

the niBBlers + the coalition FRiday deC 30 Harlow’s • 2708 J st. • saCr amento • 21 & over • 9:00pm

keller williams Harlow’s • 2708 J st. • saCr amento • 21 & over • 8:00pm el ten eleven blue lamp • 1400 alHambra blvd. • saCramento • 21 & over • 9:00pm the PimPs of Joytime the niBBlers

Harlow’s • 2708 J st. • saCr amento • 21 & over • 8:00pm

the wood Brothers

feat. chris wood of medeski martin & wood

Harlow’s • 2708 J st. • saCr amento • 21 & over • 8:00pm

secret chiefs 3 denGue fever Harlow’s • 2708 J st. • saCr amento • 21 & over • 8:00pm

THURsday

jan 19 saTURday

jan 21 wednesday

jan 25 TUesday

jan 31

feat. trey sPruance & danny heifetZ of mr. BunGle

saTURday

G. love & sPecial sauce umPhrey’s mcGee Harlow’s • 2708 J st. • saCr amento • 21 & over • 8:30pm

THURsday

Harlow’s • 2708 J st. • saCr amento • 21 & over • 9:00pm

abstract entertainment

FeB 4

FeB 23 sUnday

MaR 18

tickets availaBle at: the Beat (17th & J st.), dimPle records, Phono-select or online at: eventBrite.com, tickets.com • TickeTs for HarloW’s sHoWs also availaBle at harlows.com www.aBstractsacramento.com

Issue 99 • November 28 – December 12, 2011

29

the shallow end Black Friday Rules James Barone jb@submergemag.com

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*BILL CREDIT/PROGRAMMING OFFER: IF BY THE END OF PROMOTIONAL PRICE PERIOD(S) CUSTOMER DOES NOT CONTACT DIRECTV TO CHANGE SERVICE THEN ALL SERVICES WILL AUTOMATICALLY CONTINUE AT THE THEN-PREVAILING RATES. Free HBO, STARZ, SHOWTIME and Cinemax for 3 months, a value of $135. LIMIT ONE PROGRAMMING OFFER PER ACCOUNT. Featured package name and price: CHOICE XTRA $65.99/mo. †FREE HD OFFER: Includes access to HD channels associated with your programming package. To be eligible for Free HD you must activate and maintain the CHOICE XTRA Package or higher and enroll in Auto Bill Pay. Also requires at least one (1) HD receiver and activation of HD Access. °2011 NFL SUNDAY TICKET AND NFL SUNDAY TICKET TO-GO OFFER: NFL SUNDAY TICKET and NFL SUNDAY TICKET To-Go consist of all out-of market NFL games broadcast on FOX and CBS. Available games in NFL SUNDAY TICKET based on customer’s service address. Remote viewing via NFL SUNDAY TICKET To-Go based on device location. Local broadcasts are subject to blackout rules. Other conditions apply. 2011 NFL SUNDAY TICKET regular full-season retail price is $334.95; 2011 NFL SUNDAY TICKET To-Go regular retail price is $49.95. Customers will be automatically enrolled in and receive the remainder of 2011 NFL SUNDAY TICKET and NFL SUNDAY TICKET To-Go at no additional cost.

NFL SUNDAY TICKET and NFL SUNDAY TICKET To-Go will automatically continue each season at special renewal rates unless customer calls to cancel prior to start of season. Subscriptions cannot be cancelled (in part or in whole) after the start of the season and subscription fees cannot be refunded. NFL SUNDAY TICKET subscription is required to order NFL SUNDAY TICKET To-Go. Only one game may be accessed from any device at any given time. Online application is only available on certain operating systems.

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30

Issue 99 • November 28 – December 12, 2011

I finally did it. After years of staying away from Black Friday, I finally succumbed. I wanted to get my parents a coffee maker, and the deal was too good to pass up. I didn’t cut my holiday short, though. I didn’t opt out of Thanksgiving dessert—though I probably would have been better off if I had—and I even chatted with guests, lingered on the couch watching football after all the plates were cleared and went to the movies to see The Muppets afterward, but I’m still no better than the rest of the herds who busted the doors, slathering for cheap televisions and other gizmos.

When we arrived near midnight, the big box store seemed almost serene and stoic. Its brick façade and bright logo sign implacable against the dark night. I parked as far away as possible, to alleviate the stress of trying to wind through the rows of cars, carts and frazzled shoppers with their wide eyes fixed on nothing but discounts. As we approached the store, we had to march past a group of employees taking in the last free drags from their cigarettes or simply just breathing in the cool night air before the holiday shopping season got off to its frantic beginning. I couldn’t look at them as we passed, but I felt their eyes on me.

“There’s another one,” I could imagine them thinking. “Another fucking asshole pulling me out of my home on a holiday night so he can save $20.” I kept my pace brisk.

Still, I couldn’t see the line.

It wasn’t until we’d navigated around half the store that we got to the head of it.

Folding chairs lined up, a woman huddled under blankets. I wondered how long they’d been sitting there. It must have been hours—perhaps a good portion of the day. I’d wondered if they even had anything to eat. I assumed—perhaps wrongly—that they were waiting in line so they could buy gifts for others, but if they were there for that reason, where were the people they were so eager to buy gifts for? Shouldn’t they have been together with them instead of sitting in a lonely parking lot with a bunch of strangers?

The line, hidden from much of the parking lot, wrapped around the side of the large store. It was a good five-minute walk before we’d reached the end of it. The people in front of us were huddled in a group. Two women—one a spunky go-getter named Rachel, the other a gorgeous young wife and mother with jet black, pin-straight hair, whose name I didn’t catch, wearing a diamond engagement ring so large that it could have been measured in inches as well as carats— and a third not affiliated with the other two

who acted as our guru. She had the circular outlining all the deals. She’d been through this before. I was determined to follow her lead.

Contrary to the reports I’d heard from previous years throughout the country, it was remarkably civil. I’m not sure if I was disappointed or not. I was expecting glowering faces, determined scowls. I was fully prepared to punch a soccer mom (in self-defense, of course) if need be. Luckily, there was no repeat of the horrific trampling death of a Wal-Mart employee that occurred in Valley Stream, N.Y. in 2008. This year, a 61-year-old man shopping in a West Virginia Target became ill and collapsed while shopping. Witnesses reported that people ignored the man and even stepped over him as they went about their business. The Black Friday vet, the gorgeous woman with the ring, Rachel and I had a nice conversation as we waited for the line to move, but I couldn’t help but wonder, what would happen once those doors opened. Would the casual chitchat we shared outside turn sour once the shit hit the fan? If I collapsed, would they walk over me? Would I do the same to them?

The line, now wrapped around the entirety of the store and with us more or less in the middle, began moving just before midnight. It moved pretty quickly, and within five to 10 minutes, we were inside. We bid farewell to the group of women in front of us and wished them luck as my shopping partner and I made a beeline for housewares. I was determined to just get the coffee maker—one of those single-cup jobs, like the one I’ve fallen in love with at my daytime office. Sure enough, we found it. Since it wasn’t a bigticket item, the area was pretty clear. I tossed one in the shopping cart figuring I’d head straight for the register and leave this mess behind, but I didn’t.

People carting flatscreens of varying widths congested just about every aisle. The area by the toys was a supreme clusterfuck.

Someone rammed me from behind with their shopping cart and I murmured something aweful without even looking to see who or what had hit me. I ended up finding two more gifts and a couple of cheap DVDs for myself.

(The Dark Knight for $1.99 was too good to pass up.)

On the way out, we spotted the woman with the ring. She was just as cheerful as she was outside on line. Her arms were full of assorted knickknacks. “I lost Rachel!” she chirped as we parted ways for the final time. I wonder if she ever found her.

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

From the owners oF Capitol GaraGe Comes

RESTAURANT AND BAR in Bring

ramento Low country c g to Sac uiSine

C h e C k w e b s i t e f o r w e e k ly u p d at e s

1815 K Street • Sacramento • theporchSacramento.com SubmergeMag.com

Issue 99 • November 28 – December 12, 2011

31

Dive into Sacramento & its Surrounding Areas NOvember 28 – December 12, 2011

#99 Lonely Kings Speaking :

Rock ‘n’ Roll

5 1 gift ideas

to make the holiday season jolly

Mark Bryan Artpocalypse Now

Juno’s A Real

Neighborhood Restaurant

+

Jason Segel

resurrects

The Muppets midtown restaurant shuffle

Sherman Baker’s

Panic on Seventeenth

Anything Goes! free