Submerge Magazine: Issue 127 (January 7-January 21, 2013)

Dive into Sacramento & its Surrounding Areas January 7 – 21, 2013

#127

The Daily Show’s

John Oliver Writer , Comedian, Smurf Bacon, Bacon & More Bacon Broderick Roadhouse Sacramento Bacon Fest free

Cartoonist

Eric Decetis A Rare Breed of Artist Pinback Rules of Engagement Submerge’s

Top 20 Albums of 2012

+Chef Adam Pechal to Appear on ABC’s The Taste

Texas Chainsaw Massacred Good Bye Random Abiladeze, Hello Rasar

$57 lift ticket for College Students* *January 14-18, 2013.

Must present valid college photo ID & payment.

530.659.7453 S I E R R A AT T A H O E . C O M 2

Issue 127 • January 7 – January 21, 2013

Submerge Magazine Dec 30.indd 1

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas 1/2/13 11:26 AM

127

12

18

cofounder/ Advertising Director

Jonathan Carabba jonathan@submergemag.com senior editor

James Barone Contributing editor

Mandy Johnston

03 04 07 08 09

26 Contributing Writers

Zach Ahern, Joe Atkins, Robin Bacior, Natalie Basurto, Andrew Bell, Corey Bloom, Emily Bonsignore, Bocephus Chigger, Josh Fernandez, Blake Gillespie, Anthony Giannotti, Vincent Girimonte, Nur Kausar, John Phillips, Ryan J. Prado, Steph Rodriguez, Adam Saake, Amy Serna, Jenn Walker Contributing photographers

Wesley Davis, Mike Ibe, Nicholas Wray

www.submergemag.com Follow us on Twitter! @SubmergeMag

SubmergeMag.com

january 7 – 21

18 21 24

16 Melissa Welliver melissa@submergemag.com

2013

11 12 16

11

cofounder/ Editor in Chief/Art Director

contents

Submerge: an independently owned entertainment/lifestyle publication available for free biweekly throughout the greater Sacramento area.

Submerge

2308 J Street, Suite F Sacramento, Calif. 95816

916.441.3803 info@submergemag.com

printed on recycled paper

front Cover Photo of John Oliver courtesy of comedy central

Dive in The Stream Submerge your senses The Optimistic Pessimist capital capture

new trends tongue & chic

Broderick roadhouse pinback john oliver Eric Decetis CALENDAR the grindhouse

texas chainsaw 3d the shallow end

All content is property of Submerge and may not be reproduced without permission. Submerge is both owned and published by Submerge Media.

All opinions expressed throughout Submerge are those of the author and do not necessarily mean we all share those opinions. Feel free to take a copy or two for free, but please don’t remove our papers or throw them away. Submerge welcomes letters of all kinds, whether they are full of love or hate. We want to know what is on your mind, so feel free to contact us via snail mail at 2308 J Street, Suite F Sacramento, Calif. 95816. Or you can e-mail us at info@submergemag.com.

back Cover Photo of pinback by Drew Reynolds

dive in more > less Melissa welliver melissa@submergemag.com At the beginning of each year, without fail, there is always a psychological attempt to make the New Year better than the last. Case in point: resolutions. I even came up with my first one in mid-December, which was to attend more local shows (as was printed in my last column).

Pinback (as seen on our back cover) will be at Harlow’s on Jan. 20. This will be one show not to be missed. Between their constant tours and all of their albums, they continue to play complex indie-rock that one can never grow tired of.

On page 12, you will find our feature with one of the main members, Rob Crow, where he discusses lighting guys at venues, DJs and his family.

During the holidays I continued thinking about even more ways to make 2013 better. All of a sudden I had what seemed like a billion resolutions. But for starters this year I decided I want to laugh more. That means spend more time with good friends, watch more funny movies and definitely attend more comedy shows. Luckily this month there is a huge comedy show to start the year off right. I have a hunch my cheeks will be sore on Jan. 19 due to laughing so hard the night before. Writer for The Daily Show and stand-up comedian John Oliver, who graces our front cover, will be performing at The Crest Theatre on Jan. 18. You can get a good glimpse into Oliver’s personality starting on page 16.

There he talks about the 2012 election and Kate Middleton and Prince William’s “Golden Child.” He wraps up the hilarious Q&A with some Smurf talk.

Besides getting my laugh on, I also want to view more art this year. Combining the two, well, I couldn’t ask for a better art show than 30-Year Retrospective: Eric Decetis, which will be opening Jan. 12 at Little Relics Boutique and Galleria. This local cartoonist can not only be admired for drawing comics and making an actual living from it, but for keeping true to his old school ways by not going digital and still using paints and brushes. Learn more about his accomplishments and what you can see at this upcoming show starting on page 18.

Year after year, I feel like everyone wants, or at least tries, to eat healthier. I’ve heard it said many times, that if you truly want to succeed you should treat yourself once in a while. So take a day off from your new diet and enjoy some grub at Broderick Roadhouse. I plan to treat myself with tons of cheese and bacon goodness at least once or twice in the upcoming weeks. Maybe I’ll opt for a side salad instead of fries to make myself feel better about it. If you’re not willing to budge from your healthy new diet, they also have other options for you. On page 11 you can really get a taste of what the 3-month-old restaurant located right over the river in West Sacramento has on the menu. For me, bring on that Johnny Cash burger.

Yes! the word “bacon” is on our cover four times and between Broderick and the upcoming Sacramento Bacon Fest, we’re just a little excited about this delicious pork product. On page 7, in “Submerge Your Senses,” we would like to briefly inform you of what the Second Annual Sacramento Bacon Fest has in store. And after the bacon overload, maybe you’re looking for a new and fun way to work out? How about a hip-hop dance class? Learn more about that on page 7 as well.

If your resolutions were anything like mine, I hope I was able to give you a few ideas on what you can do or events to attend this January in Sacramento to kick the year off properly. Good luck to you and your new resolutions!

Enjoy issue #127, Melissa-Dubs

Issue 127 • January 7 – January 21, 2013

3

The stream

WATCH SACRAMENTO CHEF ADAM PECHAL ON ABC’S NEW SHOW THE TASTE ESTELLA SANCHEZ OF SOL COLLECTIVE WINS $10K FOR YOUTH MUSIC PROGRAMS RANDOM ABILADEZE CHANGES NAME TO RASAR Jonathan Carabba

Sacramento chef Adam Pechal (of Tuli Bistro and Restaurant Thir13en) will get a shot at national fame on ABC’s new culinary competition show The Taste, debuting on Tuesday, Jan. 22 at 8 p.m. The Taste is like the cooking version of The Voice, wherein four Culinary Mentors (TV’s bad-boy celebrity chef Anthony Bourdain; British food star Nigella Lawson; pioneer of guerilla style “pop-up” restaurant LudoBites, Ludo Lefebvre; and award-winning maverick chef Brian Malarkey) will each coach teams of four professional and home cooks as they battle to create the best tasting dish. The Mentors will hand pick their group of four based on a blind taste challenge. Throughout the season, their mentors will prepare the contestants for challenges in creating dishes that will ultimately be judged by the superstar chefs in more blind taste tests! They don’t know what they are eating, how it was prepared, who prepared it or who they may be eliminating. One cook will be left standing to take home The Taste trophy along with a new Ford C-Max and $100,000. Be sure to tune in and root for Chef Pechal (imagine what sort of new awesome joint he could open with that sort of cash!). We’re keeping our fingers crossed that he gets paired with Bourdain and makes it all the way to the end. Restaurant Thir13en will host a special viewing party where for $25 you get appetizers and a drink ticket. More details and a link to purchase tickets can be found at Thir13en.com.

Send regional news tips to info@submergemag.com Here’s a feel-good local story for you: Just last week Estella Sanchez of Sacramento arts/culture/activism non-profit Sol Collective (2574 21 Street) won $10,000 for youth music programs through a national online contest put on by Siempre Mujer (Always a Woman) magazine. The contest was called “Mujeres Que Inspiran,” or Women Who Inspire, and was sponsored by Pantene and Cover Girl. Contestants were nominated and five women were chosen as finalists. It went up for voting via Facebook from there. “I feel really humbled I won,” Sanchez told Submerge. “All the finalists are doing amazing work in their communities. I’m really grateful that so many people were spreading the word on Facebook and getting excited during the contest!”

The money will go toward youth music programs and studio equipment for youth music production classes. Sanchez said that Sol Collective’s music program has not had a funding source so they decided early on that if they won, they would use the funds to support it. Andrew Bell, also of Sol Collective, expands upon some of the classes that will benefit from the winnings: “During the week, Anand Parmar (World Hood’s El Indio) works recording Sacramento youth ages 14 to 21 as well as mentoring in beat production, engineering, mixing, mastering, etc. Basically, the youth run the recording sessions. It’s awesome. Youth rappers teamed with youths making the beats and running the boards.”

Sounds extremely dope to us! Submerge applauds Sol’s effort to get the Sacramento youth started in music at a young age.

“It’s exciting to have some funds to invest and there are a lot of ways we would like to expand,” Sanchez said. “It will be fun to meet with the crew and see how far we can stretch our budget!” Keep an eye out at Solcollective.org or search for Sol Collective on Facebook, as they will be announcing a celebration/appreciation party very soon.

“More than anything, the Sol Collective crew feels good that our community supports and values what we do,” Sanchez said. “It’s a great way to start a new year!”

Out with the old: Local rapper extraordinaire Random Abiladeze has changed his name to Rasar.

In an email sent out to fans and friends in early December titled, “No More Random Abiladeze…” (which for a split second made us really nervous), he thanked everyone for their support over the years and announced the name change. “As of Tuesday, Dec. 4, 2012, I have officially changed [my name] to RASAR. The short version of its meaning has to do with the Kemetic (Egyptian) deities Ra and Asar and the fact that my former initials were already RA.” He went on to point out that he’s working on a few releases under the new moniker, including a free solo EP titled The Dream Is Over, which will be released in early 2013, as well as a “highly transformative duo album” called Divine Science, which will be completely produced by Styles 1001.

“We will release it under the group name Mellow Nine,” he said. Later, on his Facebook page, he further explained the new name.

“Rasar just resonates with me,” he wrote. “Aside from the mystical/ mythical inspiration, it’s just time for change. Rasar is simpler and more connected to my purpose as an edutainter. I had my former name for nine years and that cycle has completed. The next chapter is now unfolding for all who care to walk with me a while.”

Call him Random Abiladeze, call him Rasar, call him whatever you want, we’ll just simply call him one of Sacramento’s best. See the first official Rasar performance with DJ Rated R on Sunday, Jan. 13 at the Downtown Plaza. The show is free and will start at 2 p.m., all ages are welcome.

8 DAYS OF BACON! details at:

baconfestsac.com #BaconFest sponsored by

4

Issue 127 • January 7 – January 21, 2013

facebook.com/SacramentoBaconFest

@sacbaconfest

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

1/7 Reel Big Fish

1/25 roach gigz

The Pilfers • Dan PoTThasT

Playah k • lil biT • sUaVe Debonaire

1/9 hollywooD UnDeaD

1/26 fallrise

1/12 Tribal seeDs sTick figUre • The MaaD T-ray siMPle creaTion • eazy DUb

1/14 of Mice & Men woe is Me • Texas in JUly VolUMes • caPTUre The crown

1/15 sUM 41

iaMDynaMiTe • hUnTer ValenTine

1/17 slighTly sTooPiD

karl Denson • Marlon asher

1/19 Down warbeasT

1/24 goJira

The DeVin TownsenD ProJecT aTlas MoTh

DiMDiUM • Prylosis whiTe MinoriTies • MisaMore are we hUMan

1/27 acTion iTeM

before yoU exiT • hello highway Max scheiDer • heaDlines

2/1 silVersTein

like MoThs To flaMes secreTs • glass cloUD • issUes

2/5 nonPoinT

canDelighT reD • DeDVolT fair sTrUggle

2/6 The wailers

feat. RogeR SteffanS peRfoRming SURViVaL ras rebel

2/7 hoT waTer MUsic la DisPUTe • The Menzingers

2/8 anDrew McMahon

(of JackS manneqUin & Something coRpoRate)

2/13 The green

new kingsTon • sTreeT Urchinz

2/14 gyPTian ValU fa • nice UP

2/15 baby bash

reign • Playah k & cMT richarD The rocksTar • no MUTiny cliq sUaVe Debonaire • r DoT carTer Mark sniPes • cbk

2/16 for ToDay

MeMPhis May fire • The worD aliVe UPon a bUrning boDy • giDeon

2/17 soUlfly

inciTe • loDy kong DaMage oVer TiMe • chernobog

2/21 wallPaPer

3/3 10 years

3/5 reVerenD horTon heaT gUTTerMoUTh • MaTT w. gage

3/6 black Veil briDes 3/20 rebelUTion J boog • hoT rain

con chill bro

3/27 MinDless self 2/22 Molly haTcheT inDUlgence relic 45

2/24 The sUMMer seT we are The in crowD • go raDio ParaDise fears

2/27 Pennywise lagwagon

3/30 george clinTon

& ParliaMenT fUnkaDelic

4/2 Techn9ne

broTha lynch hUng • krizz kaliko kUTT calhoUn • ces crU • riTTz aMericaz MozT haUnTeD

2/28 TesTaMenT

4/6 soUl asylUM

2/28

4/13 The exPenDables

oVerkill • 4arM • solanUM

ace of sPaDes PresenTs aT boarDwalk 9426 gReenback Lane

seconDhanD serenaDe Tyler rich • self ProclaiMeD MerceDes aVenUe

3/1 MeshUggah

aniMals as leaDers • inTronaUT

ToMorrows baD seeDs

4/22 qUeensryche 4/24 alex clare

1417 R STREET • SACRAMENTO ACEOFSPADESSAC.COM

All Shows All Ages SubmergeMag.com

Tickets Available @ Dimple Records, The Beat, Armadillo (Davis) Online: AceOfSpadesSac.com By Phone: 1.877.GND.CTRL OR 916.443.9202 Issue 127 • January 7 – January 21, 2013

5

AUDIO EXPRESS! Lowest Installed Price In Town! Every Time!

SOUND

YEAR

LOOK

Fully installed new product from a local authorized dealer

SWEETEST SOUNDS! IN-DASH SHOW-OFF! LUI SAYS

WITH

FREE

NON-STOP MIX WITH DJ EFFECTS!

LUI SAYS

FREE

BUILT IN

READY

219

$

App Mode!

Tuner*

Full-dot multi-color display. Voice control for iPhone. 3 preouts — build a system!

7” MONITOR!

Tuner*

100 Off MSRP!

$

99

READY

BUILT IN

BUILT IN

With 6.1” Monitor: $39999

SAME FEATURES WITHOUT BLUETOOTH: $17999!

Two-Year Warranty!

FREE

FREE

99

Tuner*

Tuner*

BUILT IN

READY

7”

R MONITO UT

Variable Color Illumination!

MUSIC CONTROL APP!

9

BUILT-IN NAVIGATION!

LUI SAYS

159

$

499

$

129

$

99

FOLDS O FROM 1-DIN CHASSIS

No need to cut your dash!

READY

Save $150 Off MSRP

399

$

BUILT IN

$50 Off (1) Tuner

99

READY

69999

$

$300 Off MSRP

You pay $79999; after $100 rebate:

(1) Purchase SiriusXM tuner, activate a qualifying service plan and be eligible for a $50 prepaid card. Tuner installed at additional charge. Complete details at store or siriusxmewards.com.

* Buy a qualifying deck, activate a Select or greater SiriusXM service package and be eligible for a SiriusXM $50 Visa® Prepaid Card. Some units require interface at added cost. Details at www.siriusxmrewards.com.

HEAR ALL THE MUSIC!

SAFE AND SECURE! Deluxe Alarm Starter kill and two remotes,

149

$

Two-Way Alarm!

Remote Start!

299

$

99

Remote with LCD display.

99

Slipstream Slot Ported Box

$70 Rebate

Alarms starting at 99! Remote starts From 129!

Add a tuner to a qualified radio, include an eligible CodeAlarm remote start system in the same transaction, activate a Select or greater package, and be eligible for a SiriusXM $70 Visa® Prepaid Card.Tuner installation at additional charge. Details at store or siriusxmewards.com.

(2)

Power for a whole system! From:

Ethan Way

Point West Plaza

40th Anniversary Comp S Subs

Double The wer POo f Previous

Arden Way

8999

!

Off MSRP

10” Single Box: $3999

GET YOUR DREAM SYSTEM TODAY!

PPP Means 50% Off Installation!

Issue 127 • January 7 – January 21, 2013

HOURS Mon. - Sat. 9 AM - 7 PM Sunday Noon - 5 PM

FREE LAYAWAY

27999

$

6.5” 3-Ways

Intro Special!

Save $20

$

10”, 12”, 15” from

Model

*

6

19999

$

Handles

(2)

$

Sacramento 2003 Arden Way 916-920-4262

Handles 1100 Watts

Dual Sub Box: $36999

Some vehicles require specific modules at added cost. Keyless entry installed at additional cost.

$

Powerful 5-Channel Amps!

12” Sub

Handle 300 Watts Max IN STOCK NOW!

6999

$

* Proof of qualifying employment and local banking history required. Transaction amount limited. Other conditions and restrictions apply. Details at store.

Unless otherwise limited, prices are good through Tuesday following publication date. $1 INSTALLATION IS PER COMPONENT, for CD players and alarms priced over $9999, purchased from Audio Express installed in factory-ready locations. PPP indicates product installed at half off our posted rates. Custom work at added cost. Kits, antennas and cables additional. Added charges for shop supplies and environmental disposal where mandated. Illustrations similar. Video pictures may be simulated. Not responsible for typographic errors. M.S.R.P. refers to published suggested retail price. Price match applies to new, non-promotional items from authorized sellers; excludes “shopping cart” or other hidden specials. © 2013, Audio Express.

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas Audio Express — Sacramento Submerge — 1/2/2013

Your Senses SEE HEAR TASTE Touch Words Natalie Basurto

TASTE

Bacon everything at the Second Annual Sacramento Bacon Fest • Jan. 20–27 It’s hard to find a person who doesn’t love bacon.

This month, the Sacramento area will dedicate a whole week to the popular pork product that’s now making its way into less expected bites such as donuts and pizza. Every day of Bacon Fest there will be events surrounding the delicious meat put on by a host of Sacramento restaurants. The list includes the newly opened (and extremely awesome) LowBrau, as well as more established resturants such as Magpie Cafe, Selland’s Market-Cafe, The Golden Bear, The Waterboy, Bows and Arrows, Grange and so many more.

On Sunday, Jan. 20, Bacon Fest’s opening night, Hook and Ladder Manufacturing Company will be throwing a free party starting at 5 p.m. when special guest chefs will join Chef Brian Mizner in creating a special Bacon Fest menu. The last night of the festival will conclude on Sunday, Jan. 27 with the second annual Chef’s Competition at Mulvaney’s B&L Pig Next Door (19th and L Streets) starting at 2 p.m. For the $30 admission fee, you’ll receive samples from the participating chefs, appetizers and two drink tickets all while you groove to music spun by DJ Shaun Slaughter.

All proceeds of this event go toward The Center for Land Based Learning in nearby Winters, Calif., and the American River College culinary-arts program.

Buy tickets for this particular event at Baconfestsac. eventbrite.com. Happy hours will be going on each day of the event and breakfast will be served on weekends.

To add even more to the fun, there will also be mysterious secret parties held around the city, so bookmark Baconfestsac.com or follow them on Twitter (@sacbaconfest) so you don’t miss a thing.

If the tasty food and celebrations weren’t good enough to entice you, your animal-loving conscience can also be put at ease by knowing that all of the meat served at the festival will be from pigs who lived happy and healthy lives on farms where ethical and sustainable food production was paramount.

And of course, the food will be prepared by Sacramento chefs who “give a damn about quality natural foods,” as Bacon Fest’s website states proudly.

Most of the events during the week will be free or affordable so everyone can indulge in all the tasty quality bacon being served. But if you’re one of those rare people who doesn’t like bacon, don’t worry.

They’ll have pork chops too! For more information about which restaurants will be participating or to find out about individual events, visit Baconfestsac.com or Facebook.com/sacramentobaconfest.

SubmergeMag.com

TOUCH

SEE

Learn How to Dance Hip-Hop at Step 1

Ryan Hurst aka Opie at the Easyriders Bike Show • Jan. 12 & 13

Don’t procrastinate any longer on your New Year’s resolution to lose weight. Just pick a new and interesting way to work out and learn some new dance moves while you’re at it. Step 1 (1920 T Street) offers classes for both adults and kids. You can drop into one-hour classes for $16 or start a membership. Your traditional gym will be jealous, but you won’t be sorry. Counting reps on weight machines can be boring and can easily lead to your membership card being pushed to the back of your wallet. Hip-hop dance is a fast-paced and exciting way to lose weight and gain some skills to show off at parties. Before you know it, you’ll be hitting beats like you never imagined. Get moving and sign up yourself or your kids. They offer family plans too! To see the full schedule of classes or to find out rates, visit Step1danceandfitness.com.

Whether you actually ride motorcycles or just love the FX drama Sons of Anarchy, this event is right up your alley. One of the stars of the show, Ryan Hurst, who plays Opie, will be on-hand Jan. 12 meeting fans and taking photos. Maybe you can even get your *insert body part here* signed. Expect to hear lots of roaring engines around the Sacramento Convention Center (1400 J Street) during this two-day event as fans of bike culture roar into downtown. Hundreds of tricked out bikes will be on display and the top bike builders who created them will also be there for meet and greets. There will even be a chance for you to enter your own beloved bike into the show for a chance to have it featured in an issue of Easyriders magazine. For more information on the event, visit Easyridersevents.com.

Mondays through Saturdays

HEAR

Element Brass Band CD Release Party • Jan. 10 High energy Element Brass Band will be holding their CD release party at The Shady Lady (1409 R Street) from 9 p.m. until midnight on Thursday, Jan. 10. The band, which plays in the style of New Orleans funk, will be performing songs from their debut album Ya Heard? and will even be giving away free copies to the first 10 attendees, so get there early!

CDs will also be on sale for $10, and since the show is free you’ll have some extra coin to pick one up. The band will be seven strong that night, including trumpets, drums, saxophones and trombone, all working together perfectly to form that beautiful jazz sound that’s made them

Photos by Nicole Micheli so popular. It’s no wonder they chose to celebrate their new album release at The Shady Lady, a dark speak-easy style bar that almost seems plucked right from the Roaring Twenties. Founded in 2011 and still going strong, Element Brass Band has been playing gigs all around town including the 2012 Sammies Award Show, where they were nominated.

If you can’t make the Shady Lady show and still want to check out the band live, search for them on Facebook where they’ve posted multiple videos of their shows.

Issue 127 • January 7 – January 21, 2013

7

The Optimistic Pessimist MONDAY

OPEN MIC TUESDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

BRUNCH 10AM-2PM W/ BOTTOMLESS MIMOSAS

COMEDY NIGHT WEDNESDAY

KARAOKE THURSDAY & Friday

LIVE DJ’S

SUPER BOKWICKING OFF L SUNDAY! !!

SATURDAY

LIVE MUSIC SUNDAY

INDUSTRY NIGHT TWO MINUTES FROM DOWNTOWN...JUST OVER THE I STREET BRIDGE...FREE PARKING

319 6th Street

W e s t S ac r a m e n t o

FAC E B O O K . CO M / B RO D E R I C K 1 8 9 3

916.372.2436

B RO D E R I C K 1 8 9 3 . CO M

OPEN MIC !

Every

ALL

Friday

AGES

Signups

No Cover $3 Wells $3 Craft Beer $6 Apps

SAT & SUN BREAKFAST 10am-2pm FREE WIFI | DOG FRIENDLY | BBQ SMOKER

57th & Jst - 916-457-5600 Happy Hour M-F 3-6 pm & Thur 9-1am

8

Issue 127 • January 7 – January 21, 2013

An Open Letter to the Members of the 113th Congress

Dear Assholes, Liars, Lunatics, Freshmen and Couple Decent Remaining Members of the 113th Congress: My apologies for the harsh salutation, but calling you names appears to be the only way to get your attention these days. We the People of the United States (aka your bosses) have had enough of your bullshit. Your level of dysfunction is truly mindboggling. Biologists hypothesize that the process of evolution occurs slowly over a period of millions of years.

In contrast, many of you have proven that de-evolution can occur in just a couple of short decades given the right circumstances.

Why must you bicker so often and with such pettiness? You representatives (and I use the term loosely), probably couldn’t agree on the namesake of a post office set to be closed in six months. You’ve taken us to the brink of financial collapse twice already because you won’t budge from your respective unworkable positions and have now set us up for three more throw downs this spring. It’s time to stop arguing just for the sake of arguing.

It seems like it all started with a cumstained blue dress and one man’s very specific definition of the term, “sexual relations.”

Republicans (ironically led by repeat philanderer, Newt Gingrich) decided that nothing was more important than President Clinton’s fidelity and refused to stop until he admitted to Congress that he showed his “O” face to Monica Lewinsky.

It was a tipping point wherein personal attacks became part of the game; and while the Republicans may have started it, the Democrats were often just as petty when George W. Bush became president.

Fortunately for us, this debacle that we call government now gets to play itself out on cable news 24/7. The shit talking back and forth through the press has gotten out of control.

You are not opponents; you are co-workers.

Your goal as elected officials should be good governance, not making your colleague look like an idiot on national TV. I realize the press bears a good portion of the blame in playing up these squabbles, but that’s a letter I will write another time.

Bocephus Chigger bocephus@submergemag.com

I know you all hate each other now, but you chose to work together, and that’s what we expect you to do. I hate to say it after what I’ve seen these past few years, but the fate of this nation rests in your tightly clenched fists. Not all is doomed though; you still have a chance to fix things if you just remember to follow a few simple guidelines.

The first step is to stop tattling to the press every chance you get. If you have a problem with someone, talk to them directly in your best big boy voice. This is one of those adult conversations you used to talk about having. It’s time to actually have one.

Something else adults live by are rules, and yours suck. Throughout the last two presidencies, both parties abused the procedural rules of the House and Senate beyond belief. You’ve created a Byzantine maze full of dead ends and loopholes.

Why not just have committees draft laws and vote on them, and if they pass at the committee level, let the House or Senate vote on it after reasonable time for review and debate with a simple majority vote? No filibusters, appointment hold ups (or recess appointments) or amendments to squeak by some pork or kill a promising bill that you don’t like; just a nice simple and open process.

Speaking of those bills, when you are deciding how to vote, you should not feel bound by any outside agreements or pledges. You should only feel bound by your oath to the American people to act in our best interests. You are members of parties, but you do not have to blindly follow their dogma. You must look at each bill with an open mind and decide what is in the best interest of your country first, your constituents second and your party third.

We need you to represent us…all of us. I know. It’s a big job. We have a lot of different viewpoints on a lot of different issues, but the technology is available for you to talk with us and find out what we need or where we want the country to go. We don’t all have the luxury of unlimited funds to purchase favors or votes, but we are still Americans. Remember, what you do affects us all, so, please do what we elected you to do: govern!

Sincerely, Bocephus Chigger Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

Capital Capture Tackle the New Year in Style Emily Bonsignore The new year is just that, NEW! This beginning gives you the chance to attempt all the things you wanted to do in 2012 that somehow were pushed to the side. Even though September is considered the January of the fashion year, this doesn’t mean you can’t spice up your wardrobe for 2013. Luckily 2013 is looking like a great year for fashion with many trends you will definitely want to try.

2718 J Street Sacramento 1. Velvet has to be the trend I am most excited about. (It just so happened I wore a velvet dress for New Year’s Eve!) I have seen velvet come in several different forms including dresses, pants, undergarments and hair accessories. I find velvet to be rather glamorous, but because of its now versatile forms, velvet can be worn during the day.

However, I would try this trend sooner rather than later, because it’s not the most forgiving fabric during sweltering summer days.

Velvet Shorts / Topshop.com

Sheer Sequin Grail Dress / Cuff’s

Glittered Lace-Up Oxfords / Forever 21

Blair Velvet Turban / Cuff’s

Mid-Rise Sequin Shorts / Heart Clothing Boutique

Chelsea Boots / Topshop.com

2. I believe sequins never go out of style. I have a mild addiction to anything sparkly; consequently, I have more sequined dresses in my closet than blue jeans. While sequins may only seem appropriate for a New Year’s Eve shindig, trust me, they are not. In several places I have seen sweaters with cascades of sequins on the front, which is suitable for day or night. But once again, sequins have taken the form of shorts, skirts and these sparkly trimmings have blessed even shoes.

3. The final and most beloved trend has to be chukka boots and oxfords shoes. Cute flat shoes are a godsend to me, who like many others, cannot last a single event in stilettos. On New Year’s Eve I tried my best to wear heels all night, yet failed to last even to midnight and ended up slipping on a pair of old bowling shoes to finish out the night. Chukkas are a shorter boot that end just at the ankle and look great with shorts, dresses and jeans. I often prefer these boots to over-knee because sometimes my calves cannot fit into a tall boot. Lately, I have seen companies make oxfords rather fancy using materials such as patent leather, glitter and suede.

This makes the shoe applicable for nights out when wearing heels does not sound appealing.

4. Oh! And boys I did not forget about you. Designers have been showcasing a huge military trend filled with large parkas, aviators, an array of earth tones and cargo style pants and jackets. Stripes are another trend racing into 2013, which tickles my fancy. I love boys who wear stripes. I think it is such a clean pattern that looks great on every guy.

A plain white shirt with navy stripes is an absolute staple. Finally, leather is popping up in rather odd places for men in 2013, including all leather polo shirts along with leather pants. Not completely sure how I feel about an all leather shirt, but I praise the boy who can pull it off!

916.706.2275 theredrabbit.net

Best Best Voted Sacramento’s

Cocktail Bar! *by most of its employees Voted Sacramento’s

New Restaurant *for real though, by SN&R readers

Late Night happy 7 Days a Week hour 10pM12aM

$3 Well Drinks / $4 Wines / $2 Beers Herringbone Army Green Button-Up / Cuff’s

SubmergeMag.com

Biker Jacket / Topman.com

Issue 127 • January 7 – January 21, 2013

9

tuesday

jan 8

of sunday the

battle muSiCiaNS

jan 13

DeNver SauNDerS

* WiNNer earNS 2-hour ShoWCaSe 8-10Pm No Cover!

PerformaNCe fully PromoteD by bar sunday * PoteNtial for Pay aND future gigS

SigN uP for PinE covE viP club & reCeive PerkS aND SPeCial DiSCouNtS text the WorD “PiNeCove”to 55678

jan 20

CiDNey CuNNiNgham

9Pm No Cover! 8-10Pm No Cover!

tuesdays

Wednesdays

Open Mic trivia hOur 9Pm No Cover!

9Pm No Cover!

th &E St sac (916) 446-3624 29 Facebook.com/PinecoveTavern • TwiTTer - @PinecoveTavern

10

Issue 127 • January 7 – January 21, 2013

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

TONGUE & chic

Hold the Bacon? Yeah, Right!

Broderick Roadhouse

319 6 th Street • West Sacramento Words Amy Serna

I

| photos courtesy of working class heros

magine your next lunch. You have fries in your pastrami sandwich, bacon mac and cheese in your burger and bleu cheese crumbles on your fries. Almost everything in front of you contains a lovable amount of cheeses and juicy bacon bits.

Broderick Roadhouse in West Sacramento can make these dreams come true. Located across the I Street Bridge, Broderick is bringing heavy portioned East Coast-style meals to the small city of West Sac. Co-owner, head chef and owner of the Sacramento food truck Wicked ‘Wich, Chris Jarosz, now brings his unique sandwiches and many more tasty meals to his new restaurant. He leaves the petite California cuisine behind to cook up a “massive pile of meat and cheese” just for Broderick.

“None of us have any classic kitchen training; we are just guys that like to cook. It’s been fun because we are cooking from what we like the flavor of and what we like to eat as opposed to cooking from ingredients, so we are doing reverse engineering,” Jarosz said while eyeing his food masterpiece.

“We are trying to figure out what we want to taste and then go back and try to produce it… We do it backward, I guess.”

Working backward and fast is something that the Broderick team—Jarosz, Matt Chong, Steve Hamm, Thaxter Arterberry and Marvin Maldonado—are getting used to. Only open for three months, Broderick has been making itself known to locals, travelers and food lovers all around. It was only a Thursday afternoon but the bar was filling up fast with hungry locals. After finding the perfect location, the three owners were up and cooking burgers in just three weeks.

Jarosz had a vision to create “over the top bar food” in his kitchen. Take one quick glance at the menu, and you will see that everything at Broderick is made bigger, cheesier and with more bacon. The majority of their sauces are made from scratch, including the mayonnaise, bleu cheese dressing and hot sauce.

The friendly bartender explained that they might start selling the hot sauce for people to take home and want to make their own ketchup in the near future.

The Broderick menu provides you with classic Wicked ‘Wich sandwiches, a towering sandwich that includes cut fries in the middle, your choice of meat, slaw and don’t forget to add a fried egg or bacon. You can order specialty burgers such as the Johnny Cash, True Bleu and Ocean City that will make you wonder about your dieting choices if they didn’t taste so good. Or try the chef’s

SubmergeMag.com

favorite, the Gold Rush, a perfect burger combination with bacon mac and cheese. Order a plate of fries or wings and you will see, the bigger the better. And don’t forget the famous bacon mac and cheese, a four-cheese plate topped with bacon and more bacon.

“The mac and cheese is something that I’ve always wanted to do because I loved it,” explained Jarosz.

Inspired from all of the places that he has lived, Chris Jarosz bring his favorite flavors from around the country to your lunch plate.

“I’ve lived a lot of places around the country, and I saw something that is cool and try to make something similar,” he said.

“I’d say 90 percent of it is made out of bleu cheese. These guys joke around [and say], ‘There’s bleu cheese in everything.’ Yeah, I love bleu cheese.”

My hearty choices for lunch were the Johnny Cash burger, Wicked ‘Wich coppa sandwich, bacon mac and cheese and a side of Buffalo bleu fries.

Broderick has changed the way I’ll think about Johnny Cash. If I ever hear song “Burning Ring of Fire,” I won’t be thinking of the legendary man but of a giant bacon burger, with melted cheddar cheese, crispy onions and house made barbecue sauce. One bite into the Johnny Cash burger and you will be questioning why you had a burger anywhere else. It has an amazing combination that a soft juicy burger needs but provides an extra kick with the crunch from onions and bacon. The classic Wicked ‘Wich sandwich seemed to be almost as big as my face. I choose to add a fried egg to give it a more breakfast feel. The Buffalo bleu fries were saucy and spicy. It was made with house made hot sauce topped with crumbles of bleu cheese. Overall, my giant meal left my stomach and taste buds fully satisfied, although I think it’s best not to find out how many calories I ate for lunch.

But Broderick is not all cheese and bacon. Broderick includes a few healthy choices on the menu, including a variety of salads, and is currently working on perfecting Cuban chicken. The bar also has a variety of specialty cocktails, beer and wine to choose from.

To the left of the bar is a small stage for open mic comedy nights, live music and starting in February live band karaoke.

Some people might think that West Sacramento is a bit out of the way, but Broderick is just over the bridge and a lot closer to downtown than some might think. Make your New Year’s resolution to eat at a new restaurant and to treat yourself to cheese, bacon and Broderick.

Issue 127 • January 7 – January 21, 2013

11

SACRAMENTO’s PREMIER bANd REHEARSAL FACILITIES

ACOuSTICALLy DESIGnED Private Music Rehearsal Studios From

150 Square Feet To 500 Square Feet

• Long Term Or Monthly Rentals • Air Conditioned

• 12 Foot Ceilings • 24 Hour Access • On Site Management

• Cctv Security System • Free Wi-Fi / Dsl • Huge Gated Parking Lot

It Only Takes

a Lifetime Though Family Life Has Softened Pinback’s Rob Crow, His Drive to Create Has Never Been Stronger Words John Phillips • photo Drew Reynolds

SACRAMENTO REHERSAL STudIOS

HOuSE OF HITS

2751 Academy Way • Sac (916) 923-2525

5749 88th Street • Sac (916) 381-4500 Rehearse.com LIKE us on Facebook

The

Rockin’ Northern California Since 1987

Boardwalk

thursday, jan 10

anonymous

ashes in augusT, The greaT desTroyer, devoid of reaLiTy, beyond The faLLing skies, meChanism friday, jan 11

new fanG

moniCa Way, bad ConneCTion, The somebodys, juLieT ComPany, Crosseyed CriCkeT saturday, jan 12

PLayah k, CmT reign, ar baaby, riChard The roCksTar, LuCky LefTy, higher Learning, khrys LaWson, doPe kid, kid reC, odg, fame thursday, jan 17

C-noTe Cash, ride or die reCords feaTuring young The riCh one/ guero/Primo, CeLLy ru, kaniki, Lz, mr. moneyribb, T. neezzy, CreePer

friday, jan 18

9426 Greenback

Orangevale ALL SHOWS ALL AGES 21+ BAR AREA saturday, feb 2

(froM d12)

masTamind, Leaders of The LosT, hemPheadz, PsyCho-so-maTiC, kuT ThroaT krazies, CLeanCuT enT, bruTha smiTh, Paradox, 420 darkside boyz, morfiC, sidefx syndiCaTe, oz, grizzy adams

featuring guthie govan (asia/ gPs) , Marco MinneMann (steve Wilson/adrian BeleW/uKZ) and Bryan Beller (steve vai/dethKloK)

saturday, jan 19

saturday, feb 16

Travis Larson, CaLigaTor, The sCoTT aLLen ProjeCT

JJ

young dizzy, Penny, riChard The roCksTar, Cey yanis, masyah, Who ride, CaLifornia bear gang, Cba

simPL3jaCk, The aberzombies, no beaTings from hoLLy

thursday, jan 24

thursday, feb 28

j. sTaLin, The jaCka, reTro

TyLer riCh, seLf ProCLaimed, merCedes avenue

saturday, jan 26

havenside, soma ras, WiThin These CaskeT WaLLs, maid of The misT

saturday, mar 23 i Wish We Were roboTs, merChanTs, ouTsiders, beTWeen reaLms, before you faLL, Lifeforms

TickeTs available aT all Dimple recorDs locaTions, boarDwalkrocks.com anD boarDwalk box office Doors @ 7pm /show @ 8pm for mosT shows. check boarDwalkrocks.com for up To DaTe TickeT prices, Door & show Times

12

Issue 127 • January 7 – January 21, 2013

W

hen I was 14, in 1995, the Internet was still in its fetal stage, especially regards to music distribution. Because I lived in a small town in Montana, as soon as the Internet started to become a realistic means of acquiring digital music, I was on board. A friend of mine had told me about a Website called Interjuke.com, which disappeared as fast as it appeared.

During the time of its existence, I spent an ungodly amount of time digesting every band on their play list—bands I had never even imagined existed, like Braniac, New Radiant Storm King and early Sublime.

Of all these albums, the one that stood out the most to my friends and I was a band called Heavy Vegetable. The name alone was just weird enough to get my attention. The music had ADD; experimental and bizarre…and I devoured every track.

Now back to the present. The frontman for the aforementioned Heavy Vegetable— Rob Crow, aka Robertdale Rulon “Rob” Crow, Jr—has long since put that band in the past. He now fronts Pinback with Zach Smith, aka Armistead Burwell Smith IV, who is also the leader of the band Three Mile Pilot. Crow’s resume has steadily grown since those early days, working on a wide range of projects such as Thingy (his project that most resembles Heavy Vegetable), Optiganally Yours, The Ladies, Other Men, Goblin Cock and Nervous Cop. However, of all of his projects, by far Pinback has had the largest impact on the current music world.

As a veteran of such a long roster of current and former projects, Crow has learned how to maximize his touring experience. During a phone interview, which I had to conduct twice due to my neglecting to record the first session, we discussed what a Pinback tour is like today.

To start, you won’t be seeing Pinback on a house tour anytime soon.

“There was once or twice in the early days when we were supposed to play a house show or house party,” explained Crow. “We would show up and Zach didn’t know it was going to be a house party, and he would be like, ‘I’m going to go sleep in the car,’ and I would end up doing the show by myself.”

However, when Pinback does book their shows at professional venues, they have a couple of simple requests: “I like there to only be blue or green lights, never red…and no swirly stuff,” Crow says. “Every venue has a light guy, for some reason, and there’s this old adage where the sound guy will set up the lights and walk away while everything goes to hell, and the light guy will stay there while everyone gets blinded and they think they’re at a techno show. The

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

opposite should be the case. We obviously have our own sound guy, but there’s always a light guy that thinks, ‘This is my opportunity to show the world that I can blink stuff on and off really fast.’ It’s not a disco. The whole idea of playing a show is that I like to connect with everyone, I like to be able to see everyone and I like them to be able to see me, or what’s going on, and not to be distracted by a bunch of crazy things.

“Another rule I have is no DJs. You’d be surprised how many venues all over the world just throw a surprise DJ at you while you’re trying to set up or break down, and again, you’re trying to create a human atmosphere, and suddenly you’re ‘boom-da-boom-da-boom-da-boom.’ It takes everyone immediately away from everything.”

Listening to Crow’s comments about venues, it’s not hard to see he is growing up. If you go on YouTube, it doesn’t take an extensive search to find old interviews with him, young, generally inebriated and full of piss and vinegar. These days, Crow is still drinking a few beers and having youthful fun, but he is also a devoted husband and proud father. Whenever possible, he would love to have his family with him on tour.

SubmergeMag.com

“Another rule I have is no DJs. You’d be surprised how many venues all over the world just throw a surprise DJ at you while you’re trying to set up or break down, and again, you’re trying to create a human atmosphere, and suddenly you’re ‘boomda-boom-da-boom-daboom.’ It takes everyone immediately away from everything.”

– Rob Crow, Pinback “It’s cool! They get to travel all over the place, and learn about a bunch of different kinds of places,” says Crow. “In the early days me and my wife would be able to take care of them, so at sound check they would be at a park somewhere, and then we would all hang out after and go to the show until they got tired and went to be in the bunk [on the bus]. Then, with the third kid, it seems illogical. With the second kid, he’s only been out once or twice. Once I got my friend to be the nanny for my oldest, because I was going to be out of town on his birthday, and I would never recover emotionally from missing one of my kids’ birthdays.”

How soon might we be seeing his kids on tour themselves as musicians? A lot sooner than you might think.

“For a while [my oldest] had his own Myspace page, back in Myspace times, for his band. He has two songs…they were good. His little brother did a version of ‘The Robots’ [by Kraftwerk] that was pretty cool.”

Crow, however, is cautious about putting too much emphasis on his children entering the realm of musicianship.

“I’m proud of them for whatever they do,” he explains, “but I also don’t want to push them to do anything they don’t want to do; I don’t want to be that guy.

However, if they do show an interest, I will be there to facilitate whatever it is as much as I can. I’m afraid there might be too much pressure. The dream would be for me to travel and play with them all the time, but there are going to be days when they aren’t going to want to hang out with daddy.”

Still, he has enjoyed the adventure of fatherhood and partnership with his spouse and looks forward to the travels that still lie ahead. With much more left from Pinback, many albums yet to be released from Thingy, Goblin Cock (and he is still holding out hope for another one from The Ladies…hint, hint Zach Hill), Crow finds a way to balance it all.

“I’m only bummed that it took me so long,” Crow says. “Of course, I had to do it just the right way…I had to make sure that I found the right woman to settle down with, to make sure that she was the perfect person for me—and she is. People just dive into things like marriage and children, and don’t really think about it a lot, it seems, anyway. I never want to have a reason to be divorced. I made sure that my partner was also my best Pinback will play Sacramento on Jan. 20 with friend…so, that a stop at Harlow’s. To buy took a lifetime.”

Issue 127 • January 7 – January 21, 2013

tickets ($20 in advance), go to Harlows.com, and for more on the band, check out Pinback.com.

13

hunter valentine

t u e s day

January 15

DimDium • Prylosis • White minorities misamore • are We human

sat u r day

January 26

t h u r s day

February 7 from jacKs mannequin & something corPorate

1417 r street saCraMentO featuring Karl Denson With sPecial guest marlon asher

t h u r s day M O n day

January 17

heaDlines

s u n day

January 27

F r i day

February 8

January 7 street urchinz

sat u r day w e d n e s day

January 19

F r i day

February 1

January 9

w e d n e s day

February 13

Gyptian valu fa nice uP

simPle creation eazy Dub

sat u r day

January 12

the Devin toWnsenD Project atlas moth

t h u r s day

January 24

14

January 14

t u e s day

February 5

t h u r s day

February 14

the wailers Playah K • lil bit suave Debonaire

M O n day

canDelight reD DeDvolt • fair struggle

F r i day

January 25

Issue 127 • January 7 – January 21, 2013

With sPecial guest

ras rebel

w e d n e s day

February 6

reign • Playah K & cmt richarD the rocKstar no mutiny cliq • suave Debonaire r Dot carter • marK sniPes • cbK

F r i day

February 15

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

With sPecial guest

matt W. gage

February 16

sat u r day

w e d n e s day

solanum

Damage over time • chernobog

s u n day

February 17

February 27

t h u r s day

t u e s day

March 5

w e d n e s day

March 6

americaz mozt haunteD

t u e s day

april 2

sat u r day

april 6

april 13

February 28

BOardwaLk

9426 GreenBaCk Lane OranGevaLe j boog • hot rain

With sPecial guest

t h u r s day

con chill bro

February 21

With sPecial guest

F r i day

Secondhand Serenade

March 20

sat u r day

w e d n e s day

March 27

M O n day

tyler rich • self ProclaimeD • merceDes avenue

thursday February 28

relic 45

February 22

w e d n e s day

F r i day

March 1

sat u r day We are the in croWD go raDio ParaDise fears

s u n day

February 24

SubmergeMag.com

10Years s u n day

april 22

March 3

March 30

all shows all ages

w e d n e s day

april 24

tickets available @ dimple records, the Beat, armadillo Online: aceOfspadessac.com

By Phone: 1.877.Gnd.CtrL Or 916.443.9202

Issue 127 • January 7 – January 21, 2013

15

Working Vacation photo Scott Gries

John Oliver gears up for some well-deserved relaxation… live on stage Words james barone

D

ateline New York City. It’s 9 a.m. (local time), and English comedian turned mock news correspondant John Oliver is gearing up for another writers’ meeting for Comedy Central’s The Daily Show.

Oliver tells Submerge that The Daily Show workday starts promptly at 9:15 with a writers’ meeting. Basic ideas for stories are hashed out, and then the writers are broken up into groups.

“We try to get a first draft in in an hour and a half, and if the show’s not ready by 6 o’clock in the evening, we’re in real trouble,” Oliver says.

“The time between now and then is basically just controlled panic.”

Though he’s best known for his sternly delivered reports on The Daily Show, Oliver is also a seasoned stand-up comic, though it’s amazing given the show’s schedule that he has time to work on anything else. But stand-up has become a necessary outlet for Oliver, alleviating some of the pressures that mount up during The Daily Show’s rigorous schedule.

“It’s such a controlled environment here [at The Daily Show],” he says. “They’re working toward a very narrow goal. Stand-up is something that you can develop over much longer periods. Also, geographically, it gets me out of the city and clears my

16

Issue 127 • January 7 – January 21, 2013

head a little bit. I find it a good way to relax, even though to work to relax yourself from another kind of work is not the healthiest situation. I’ve always loved doing it.

I find myself tending to get more angst-y when I haven’t done stand-up in a while.”

Despite working as a writer and on-air correspondent for The Daily Show for about six years, Oliver says that the writing he does for the television program hasn’t really influenced the way he works on his stand-up material.

“There’s not a lot of crossover between this and stand-up,” he says of writing for the show versus writing for himself. “This becomes something where you sort of train your body to churn out stuff like a sausage factory. You just mentally sharpen yourself up so you can just push a button and something will come out mocking whatever it is you’re supposed to be working on. Stand-up sits with you for a bit longer. [Writing for The Daily Show] becomes instinctive, really.”

Oliver was kind enough to grant Submerge some time before beginning another day on The Daily Show. During our brief but jovial conversation, Oliver reminisced about the 2012 U.S. presidential election and waxed eloquent about what it was like to don the prestigious mantle of Smurfdom.

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

You’ve got some stand-up dates during winter. It sounds like something you’re really looking forward to.

Definitely. In the run up to the election, I couldn’t really do anything at all. I couldn’t really do anything other than sit here and witness the election in gruesome, point-blank range. So this is my first chance to get out and talk about whatever I want, so I’m really looking forward to this. Each weekend for the next couple of months I’ll be going somewhere.

You were busy covering the 2008 presidential election as well. How did 2012 compare?

Well, it was impressively nuts, really. Four years ago, you had no incumbent. You had McCain and Palin and the first potential black president, and there was understandably a huge amount of excitement behind that. This time, the excitement seemed less, but they certainly spent a lot more money on it. The sheer spectacle alone of watching that scale of money get wasted was pretty impressive. I mean, short of actually setting fire to a billion dollars, they couldn’t really have done a more impressive installation art piece of how not to run a democracy. It was absolutely awful.

You lampoon news networks a lot on the show. I was watching the coverage on NBC, and it seemed like they were trying to make the drama of the election more interesting than it actually was once the results started coming in.

Yeah, and then you’ve got Karl Rove digging his heels into the floor of the Fox News studio saying, “This thing is not over. Only on my signal is this thing over.”

But all the way through the Republican primaries, it was the same thing. They were circling around and around and around the inevitable fact that they were going to get a candidate that they didn’t want. It was evident from the first debate that they were going to get Romney, and they tried everything—through Bachmann and Herman Cain—they tried everything to not have him and they got him anyway.

A friend of mine who was on the fence about who he wanted to vote for said he felt as if Romney had been running for president his entire adult life.

Not just his adult life, but his child life as well. His temples started graying when he was 6 years old. This is a guy who was practicing his acceptance speeches while he was in the bath.

Do you think he’ll come back again in 2016?

He’s rich enough to do it, though it might just be cheaper for him to pay people to pretend he’s president now.

Is this kid the messiah?

Well, yeah, it’s going to be a cross between a messiah and Superman. This child is going to restore the British Empire to its rightful place. Every British person should put all of their hopes and dreams into this one, poor, unborn infant. If this kid lets us down, I don’t think we’re coming back from that.

Can Americans really fathom how big news this is?

It’s huge news. I can’t really put it into context for you.

Imagine if Michael Jordan had a baby with Martha Stewart.

It’s the perfect child.

I did. It was very strange. She was at both conventions. She was in the army. She and a bunch of veterans were at both conventions campaigning for veterans’ rights. So yeah, I met her there. It wasn’t the most romantic place to meet. I wasn’t expecting to meet my wife at the Republican National Convention, and if you told me that was going to happen, it would have chilled my blood on the spot, but it’s funny how life works out.

How’s married life been treating you?

It’s awesome! It’s great. I really don’t have a bad thing to say about it. Ask me again in 10 years. Statistically, I’ll have a different answer I think.

Looking forward to 2013, you’ll be reprising your role as Vanity Smurf in The Smurfs sequel. When you first started your career, did you have any idea that you’d be the voice of one of the Smurfs?

I mean, that’s always what I was aiming for, because I thought it would come later in life. The problem is there’s nowhere to go from here. Once you’ve embodied a Smurf, I guess, I don’t know, Eastern religion is the next point. Life is finished, My work here is done on Earth.

I grew up on The Smurfs, were they as popular for you growing up in England?

Of course! We’re geographically closer to Belgium. Those tiny blue Belgians were almost in touching distance. I had Smurf toys. I watched The Smurfs. I think even as a child you’re like, “This doesn’t really make sense, but I’m enjoying it.” When someone asks, “Do you want to be a Smurf,” the answer is, “Yes.” There were some weird things on the show, like they’d dance around pentagrams and stuff.

Yes, I think they’ve removed some of that from the American movie version. When you see Smurfs dabbling in the occult, that can affect your opening box office. I haven’t seen the final cut of The Smurfs 2 yet, but there may be a pagan sacrifice in there. I’m not sure.

Do you have any inkling of what will be some of the big news stories of in 2013?

The Supreme Court’s going to rule on gay marriage. They’ve announced that, so that will be a big one. I think other than that will be everyone gearing up for the election in 2016. I think that will Don’t miss John Oliver when already be underway, so Iowa and he brings his stand-up to Sacramento. Oliver will Ohio better get ready, because Hillary perform at The Crest Theatre and Jeb are coming. on Jan. 18. Tickets are $35

Photo Martin Crook

You do The Bugle podcast with your buddy Andy. On one of the more recent ones, you were talking about Kate Middleton being pregnant, which I think was even big news for me…

The Golden Child. The Golden Child is being born now to save the planet.

“Four years ago, you had no incumbent. You had McCain and Palin and the first potential black president, and there was understandably a huge amount of excitement behind that. This time, the excitement seemed less, but they certainly spent a lot more money on it. The sheer spectacle alone of watching that scale of money get wasted was pretty impressive. I mean, short of actually setting fire to a Do you think this child has any chance of having a regular life? billion dollars, they couldn’t really Nope! I don’t think this child has any chance of anything other have done a more impressive than being institutionally wealthy. If that’s not enough for it, which it probably won’t be… I’ve never felt so sorry for a rich, installation art piece of how unborn child before. not to run a democracy. It was absolutely awful.”

Last year, you got married, and I’d heard on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon that you’d met your wife at the previous Republican – John Oliver on the 2012 U.S. National Convention.

Presidential Election

and can be purchased through Thecrest.com.

SubmergeMag.com

Issue 127 • January 7 – January 21, 2013

17

Old School and loving it

In a digital age, veteran cartoonist Eric Decetis still makes his mark putting paint on paper Words Nur Kausar

S

usan Rabinovitz first heard of Eric Decetis while enrolled in a journalism class covering First Amendment rights. Decetis created comedic cartoons for publications such as Penthouse and Larry Flynt’s Hustler in the mid-‘80s, when Flynt fought in court for freedom of speech for men’s magazines.

“He worked at a time when censorship was a big deal,” Rabinovitz says, noting its one reason why she asked Decetis to show his work in her gallery, Little Relics Boutique and Galleria at 908 21st Street, Sacramento.

Publishing in national, widely read magazines at the beginning of his artistic career was Decetis’ big break.

“In the ‘80s you got your biggest hit from men’s books, because men would read them, and it appealed to the average guy back then. The magazines bought a lot of full page cartoons,” Decetis says one evening from the gallery. “I knew I needed to make a living, so that’s where I had to go.”

He did also illustrate for Christian publications—being a Catholic—but those, he says, didn’t pay as much.

As more people saw his talent, Decetis began illustrating comedic greeting cards, gifts, calendars and other memorabilia for large global distributors like NobleWorks and Sellers Publishing, among others. He also was published in National Lampoon and

18

Issue 127 • January 7 – January 21, 2013

Los Angeles Magazine, won a Greeting Card Association Award and was named best local cartoonist in Sacramento in 2000.

He is well known for his butt crack caricatures—a compilation of which can be found in the Crack Book, but Decetis notes that the crack stuff makes up less than 1 percent of everything he’s done. And he’s done a lot.

“There was never any particular theme or genre that I had, and I have thousands and thousands of images,” he says. “The publishers will publish what they think is good for their audience. In England, they like stuff that’s a little more off beat. In Russia, it gets translated to Cyrillic, but I don’t make much in Russia, because it retails for only 40 cents, so you know how that goes.”

After college, as an artist with studio space at the Sacramento Arts Complex, Rabinovitz met Decetis, learned more about his talent and admired his method.

“As I’ve gotten to know him and his work, I’ve realized he’s one of the most amazing, most prolific artists I’ve ever met,” she says.

“He uses an old method using concentrated watercolors, doing everything by hand and nothing is digital. He makes his own hues, dilutes colors. He’s one of the last artists to do that as a cartoonist.”

The Ohio State University’s Billy Ireland Cartoon Library and Museum, the most

comprehensive academic research facility documenting printed cartoon art, even asked to archive Decetis’ work and have him as a guest speaker, Rabinovitz adds.

Decetis says though his method takes an incredible amount of time and precision, he loves the paint and brush, and wants to leave the digital art to the newer generations.

“I think it’s just a sign of the times, but I got this gift right out of the bag and started copying Warner Brothers and HannaBarbera [cartoons] as a young kid,” he says.

“I’m kind of a dying breed but the next generations are great to use applications they have. Fortunately, the old school dinos like me have everything on paper…or maybe it’s not so fortunate.”

When the opportunity arose to open her own gallery, Rabinovitz asked Decetis if he would show in the space.

“I’m kind of a dying breed but the next generations are great to use applications they have. Fortunately, the old school dinos like me have everything on paper…or maybe it’s not so fortunate.”

– Eric Decetis Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

“I want people to realize, yes, even though this is greeting card art or his things from Penthouse, it’s all really well done—it’s a dying art,” she says. “My whole idea for this is to educate Sacramento about this hidden gem.

He literally has thousands of pieces and he painstakingly labored over them, sometimes for 80 to 100 hours on each. People now do it faster with digital graphics.”

Decetis recalls drawing his first cartoon in 1949—a dinosaur—at age 3 in his father’s journal.

He jokes that he came out of his mother’s womb with his tiny fingers tightly squeezing a No. 2 pencil.

“And I’ll keep doing this until they have to pry that pencil from my cold, dead fingers,” he says, now 60.

Hundreds of pieces from Decetis’ past are exhibited at Little Relics for a special showing.

Decetis will also have a free event Jan. 12, 30-Year Retrospective: Eric Decetis, to provide laughs and talk about his global career and life in his hometown of Sacramento.

“For the first time, people will see stuff I’ve drawn in grammar school, cartoons I drew as a kid, as well as the stuff that led to a very, very fortunate career that I’ve managed to eke out,” he says, noting it’s more like 57 years in retrospect. “It’s going to be a celebration, a party and a thanks to everyone who has been there for me.”

Rabinovitz adds the collection will include personal pieces not for sale, including a school campaign poster Decetis created in junior high that the Sacramento Bee published that year.

“We’re also going to have some of his first works with airbrush watercolor so you can see the raw, early pieces he did and compare them to his later, more refined watercolor pieces,” she says.

Decetis says he’s happy to be working with Rabinovitz and her husband Mark, because he still has countless unpublished pieces and his career has become mostly clerical while managing the collection.

“Now it’s just about managing my existing art—working smarter, not working harder,” he says. “I would much rather draw than maintain the business, but I always wanted to be known for my art and as that old adage my dad used to say goes, be careful what you wish for.”

.craft beer.patio.gallery.wine. sammies. popsicles. brunch. p l a y. c a fe . b a r . s h o p . r e l a x . music.fun.vintage.jewelr y.

OPEN TUES-SAT 11-11 • SUN 11-3

wed jan 9 (8pm)

thur jan 17 (8pm)

tues jan 22 (8pm)

by Ray Molina

Paper Pistols, Bella Novela

Ross Hammond & Amy Reed, Neil Haydon & Tony Passarell’s Thin Air Orchestra

Comedy open miC Go to Little Relics to check out the works of Eric Decetis, a true Sacramento gem, up close and personal. Also, be on hand for 30-Year Retrospective: Eric Decetis on Jan. 12. The event will run from 7 to 10 p.m. For more info, give Little Relics a call at (916) 716-2319.

1815 19th st. sacramento

fri jan 11 (8pm)

Live musiC

Live musiC

fri jan 18 (8pm)

Nacho Business, Pomegranate, Dead Horses

Live musiC

sat jan 12 (8pm)

sat jan 19 (8pm)

Live musiC

Aaron Ross, Ohioan, Dead Western Trio

JeRRy PeRRy PReseNTs

The Generals CD release party

Live musiC

Naked Fiction, Mike Johnston, sam eliot

Live musiC

wEd jAN 23 (8Pm)

Live musiC

ever ending Kicks, Darling Chemicalia, Mind Flowers

fri jan 25 (8pm)

Live musiC

Light skinned Creole CD release party

bowscollective.com

SubmergeMag.com

Issue 127 • January 7 – January 21, 2013

19

We Will Beat Any competitor’s price by $5 *must present competitors ad. restrictions apply.

Sacramento

420 Doc 2 convenient locations to serve you

20

winter compassion special Medical Marijuana Cards

$

Voted 2 nd bes physic t in sacian !

Starting aS low aS

of include letter s. t o n es o d e *Pric detail ion. call for recommendat

Visit our website to book your appointment online 24/7

Sac420Doc.com

916.480.9000

2 1 0 0 Wa t t av e U n i t 1 9 0 • S a c r a m e n t o , c a 9 5 8 2 5 l o c a t e d i n t h e b a c k o f b u i l d i n g M o n - S a t 11 - 7 p M • S u n 1 2 - 5 p M 2633 telegraph ave, #109 | oaKlanD, ca 94612 (510) 832-5000 | Mon-Sat 10aM-5pM

recommendations are valid for 1 Year • Walk-ins Welcome all day everyday

yoUr information iS 100% private anD confiDential 20

Issue 127 • January 7 – January 21, 2013

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

904 15th Street 443.2797

jan. 7 – 21

Between I & J • Downtown Sacramento

submergemag.com/calendar

music, comedy & misc. Calendar

1.07

Red Hawk Casino Chris Gardner, 7 p.m.

Shine Jazz Jam w/ Jason Galbraith & Guests, 8 p.m.

Monday

T2 Nightclub & Lounge Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Ace of Spades Reel Big Fish, The Pilfers, Dan Potthast (of MU330), 6 p.m.

Torch Club Hans Eberbach, 5:30 p.m.; Sophitafunk, 9 p.m.

1.09

The Boxing Donkey Open Mic Variety Night, 8 p.m.

Broderick Roadhouse Open Mic, 9 p.m.

The Colony Missive, Harbours, Alan Heart Of The Lion, Dead End Alaska, Dylan Rivetti, 8 p.m.

Ace of Spades Hollywood Undead, 7 p.m.

Broderick Roadhouse Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Fox & Goose Open Mic Night, 7:30 p.m.

Luna’s Cafe Nebraska Mondays hosted by Ross Hammond, 7:30 p.m.

Old Ironsides The Nuance, 7:30 p.m.

Red Hawk Casino Chris Gardner, 7 p.m.

Sol Collective Microphone Mondays, 8 p.m.

1.08

Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Old Ironsides Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Pine Cove Open Mic Night, 9 p.m.; Battle of the Musicians, 10:30 p.m.

WED

Broderick Roadhouse Live DJ’s, 9:30 p.m.

Bows and Arrows Pomegranate, Dead Horses, Nacho Business, 8 p.m.

THurS

The Coffee Garden Open Mic Night, 8 p.m.

Crocker Art Museum Be Brave Bold Robot, 3 p.m.

Fox & Goose Soul Night w/ The Sunny Side of the Street, 8 p.m.

Haven Underground Foxtails Brigade, Panther and a Bear Fight, Lasher Keen, 8:30 p.m.

Level Up Lounge Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Colusa Casino Patton Leatha, 9 p.m.

District 30 DJ Louie Giovanni, 10 p.m.

Marilyn’s Natural Heights, Simple Creation, Street Urchinz, 9 p.m.

Marilyn’s Rock On Live Band Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Fox & Goose Solwave, Ghost Town Gospel, 9 p.m.

Monticello Seasonal Cuisine Open Mic hosted by Jan Peters, 8:30 p.m.

Midtown BarFly K Sera (Album Release), Speed of Sound In Seawater, Wrings, The New Limb, 8 p.m.

Harlow’s Musical Charis, Foxtails Brigade, Autumn Sky, 10 p.m.

Townhouse Frequency Drum & Bass Night w/ host Crescendo, 9 p.m.

Pine Cove Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub California Cowboys, 9:30 p.m.

Red Hawk Casino Chris Gardner, 7 p.m.

Shady Lady Elements Brass Band (CD Release), 9 p.m.

The Stoney Inn Tom Drinnon, Deuces Wild, 9 p.m.

Torch Club X Trio, 5 p.m.; Dippin Sauce, 9 p.m.

ZuhG Life Store ZuhG (Acoustic), 6 p.m.

Nd Ja sTrumeNT a BriNg yOur iNiTh The BaNd Or ic aLONg w he greaT mus JusT eNJOy T

$

Level Up Lounge Hot Pants w/ DJ Rock Bottom, 9 p.m.

Luna’s Cafe Teacup Collection, Marty Cohen & The Side Kicks, 8 p.m.

Marilyn’s La Fin Absolute Du Monde, Zeroclient, March Into Paris, 9 p.m.

Midtown BarFly Get Down to the Champion Sound w/ Selector KDK, DJ Esef, Kris Ward, 10 p.m.

Monticello Seasonal Cuisine Bob Wren, 5:30 p.m.

Old Ironsides Brazilian Dance Party feat. Samba Da, 9 p.m.

On The Y Newtdick, Aborticide, Killgasm, Viral, Embodied Torment, 8:30 p.m.

1.99

shots

Jack, Jame & Jerry

S t r e e t O l d S ac r a m e n t o

( 9 1 6 ) 4 4 3 - 6 8 5 2 TheRiverCitySaloon.com

9

10 FrI

11

>>

Support Submerge

advertisers!

This publication would not be possible without the support of our wonderful advertisers.

Hans EbErbacH 5:30PM

soPHistafunk 9PM

acoustic oPEn Mic 5:30PM

island of black&wHitE 9PM X trio 5PM

diPPin saucE 9PM PailEr & fratis 5PM

HaMilton looMis 9PM

JoHnny Guitar knoX 5PM

SaT

12 tErry Hanck

Golden Bear DJ Crook, 10 p.m.

continued on page 22

T Js LOasTm& FNOuiNgd h BaNd Owp/ emN iKe’ m

SubmergeMag.com

Capitol Garage Dub Culture, 10 p.m.

The Colony Porter Project, Mad Judy, Not Yet, Sneeze Attack, 8 p.m.

Thursday NighTs !

916 2

Broderick Roadhouse Live DJ’s, 9:30 p.m.

Fox & Goose Steve McLane, 8 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub College Night w/ DJ Rigatony, DJ Alazzawi, 10:30 p.m.

nd

The Boxing Donkey Adam Donald, 9 p.m.

Harlow’s Anthony B, 9 p.m.

Torch Club Acoustic Open Mic, 5:30 p.m.; Island of Black & White, 9 p.m.

Laughs Unlimited Karaoke, 8 p.m.

The Boardwalk New Fang, Monica Way, Bad Connection, The Somebodys, Juliet Company, Crosseyed Cricket, 7 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Red Hawk Casino Chris Gardner, 7 p.m.

Dive Bar Le Twist Tuesdays w/ Mario Andreoni (of Chk Chk Chk), Sam I Jam, Adam J, Taylor Cho, Roger Carpio, 9 p.m.

8

The Boardwalk Anonymous, Ashes in August, The Great Destroyer, Devoid of Reality, Beyond the Falling Skies, Mechanism, 7 p.m.

Club Car In the No, 9 p.m.

Press Club 50 Watt Heavy, Would Be Train Robbers, 8:30 p.m.

TuES

The Blue Lamp The Tulpa Effect, Tokyo Raid, Waning, 9 p.m.

Club Car The Double Shots, 7:30 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Fair Struggle, In the Silence, Zero Client, Straight Jacket Strippers, 8 p.m.

january 8 - 20

The Blue Lamp The Session, 9 p.m.

Clark’s Corner Open Mic, 9 p.m.

Parlare L!FE w/ DJ Epik, DJ Oasis, DJ Lahn, 9 p.m.

Tuesday

Friday

Dive Bar Dueling Pianos, 9 p.m.

Old Ironsides Open Mic, 9 p.m.

Townhouse Open Mic, 9 p.m.

1.11

District 30 Starkillers, 10 p.m.

G Street WunderBar Funk Night Dance Party w/ DJ Larry, 10 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Karaoke, 9 p.m.

thursday

Club Car Songwriters Showcase, 8 p.m.

Wednesday

Davis Bike Collective Trophy Wife, Whore Paint, So Stressed, 8 p.m.

1.10

use a qr scanner on your smart phone to view calendar online

9PM

Sun

13

TuES

ibc fundraisEr

kEnny nEal 2-6PM dElta city raMblErs 8PM bill Mylar 5:30PM

15

soPHistafunk 9PM

WED

acoustic oPEn Mic 5:30PM

16

THurS

17

kEri carr 9PM

X trio 5PM

davina vaGabond 9PM PailEr & fratis 5PM

JoHnny Guitar knoX

FrI

18 SaT

19 Sun

20

birtHday sHow 9PM JoHnny Guitar knoX 5PM

lauriE Morvan

Etta JaMEs tributE

9PM

4-8PM tHE GoldEn cadillacs 8PM

torchclub.net

Issue 127 • January 7 – January 21, 2013

21

The Park Ultra Lounge DJ Shift, 9 p.m.

Pine Cove Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Plea for Peace Center Fallujah, Symbolik, Gary Busey Amber Alert!, Alighieri, Soma Ras, Incisus, 6 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Tommy Castro, 10 p.m.

Press Club DJ Rue, 9 p.m.

Red Hawk Casino Ice House Blues, 5 p.m.; Cover Me Badd, 10 p.m.

Shine Brandon McHose, Akaz, 8 p.m.

The Stoney Inn Elton John Cover Band, 9 p.m.

Torch Club Pailer & Fratis, 5 p.m.; Hamilton Loomis, 9 p.m.

1.12

The Colony Plush (Stone Temple Pilots tribute), Rock 2000, SideTracked, 8 p.m.

Colusa Casino Patton Leatha, 9 p.m.

District 30 DJ Billy Lane, 10 p.m.

Fox & Goose Golden Cadillacs, Steph Macpherson, 9 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 8 p.m.

Luna’s Cafe Bob Woods Duo, Jon Robert Quinn, 8 p.m.

Old Ironsides Fascination! 80’s New Wave Dance Club, 9:30 p.m.

Pine Cove Karaoke, 9 p.m.

The Blue Lamp El Ten Eleven, White Arrows, 9 p.m.

The Boardwalk Baeza, Playah K, CMT Reign, AR Baaby, Richard the Rockstar, Higher Learning, Lucky Lefty, Khrys Lawson, Dope Kid, Kid Rec, ODG, Fame, 7 p.m.

The Boxing Donkey Ryan Hernandez, 9 p.m.

Press Club Work Your Soul feat.

Sacto Soul Rebels, 9 p.m.

Red Hawk Casino Summer of Love, 7 p.m.

Monticello Seasonal Cuisine Donna Wren, 11 a.m.

Old Soul Co. (The Alley) Byron Colborn Quartet, 7:30 p.m.

Pine Cove Denver Saunders, 8 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub The Rock Doctors, 10 p.m.

Ace of Spades Tribal Seeds, Stick Figure, The Maad T-Ray, Simple Creation, Eazy Dub, 6:30 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Harlow’s Cat Stevens Tribute Band, 7 p.m.

Monticello Seasonal Cuisine Ken Kemmerling, 6 p.m.

Press Club DJ Larry Rodriguez, 9 p.m.

Plea for Peace Center Hrbrs, Dylan Rivetti, Dead End Alaska, 7 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Buddy Emmer, 3 p.m.; Open Blues Jam, 7 p.m.

Press Club City of Vain, Jason Welt, Ryan Davidson, 5 p.m.

Red Hawk Casino Ice House Blues, 5 p.m.; Cover Me Badd, 10 p.m.

Torch Club Kenny Neal, 2 p.m.; Delta City Ramblers, 8 p.m.

Time Tested Books Cracker Family Circus, Little Boy Blue, 5 p.m.

Torch Club Johnny Guitar Knox, 5 p.m.; Terry Hanck, 9 p.m.

Townhouse Pop Freq w/ DJ X-GVNR, 9 p.m.

Broderick Roadhouse Scouse Gits, 9:30 p.m.

1.16 wednesday

Thursday

Ace of Spades Slightly Stoopid, Karl Denson, Marlon Asher, 6:30 p.m.

The Boardwalk Chucc 1, C-Dubb, C-Note Cash, Ride or Die Records feat. Young the Rich One, Guero, Primo, Celly Ru, Kaniki, LZ, Mr. Moneyribb, T. Neezzy, Creeper, 7 p.m.

Bows and Arrows Paper Pistols, Bella Novela, 8 p.m.

Club Car Songwriters Showcase, 8 p.m.

Townhouse Open Mic, 9 p.m.

Club Car The Double Shots, 7:30 p.m.

The Coffee Garden Open Mic Night, 8 p.m.

1.15

Crest Theatre Gregg Allman, 8 p.m.

Dive Bar Dueling Pianos, 9 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Downtown Plaza (Lower Level) Ross Hammond, 6 p.m.

Ace of Spades Sum 41, Hunter Valentine, IAMDYNAMITE, 6:30 p.m.

Monticello Seasonal Cuisine Open Mic hosted by Jan Peters, 8:30 p.m.

Marilyn’s Rock On Live Band Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Old Ironsides Open Mic, 9 p.m.

Old Ironsides Bluegrass Acoustic Jam, 7:30 p.m.

Fox & Goose Soul Night, 8 p.m.

Laughs Unlimited Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Marilyn’s Jameson and the Sordid Seeds, 9 p.m.

1.14

Dive Bar Le Twist Tuesdays w/ Peggy Benks, Screature, Sam I Jam, Adam J, Taylor Cho, Roger Carpio, 9 p.m.

Ace of Spades Of Mice & Men, Woe, Is Me, Texas in July, Volumes, Capture The Crown, 6:30 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub College Night w/ DJ Rigatony, DJ Alazzawi, 10:30 p.m.

Press Club Adrian Bourgeois, Awkward Lemon, Sean Fleming, 8:30 p.m.

Red Hawk Casino Summer of Love, 7 p.m.

Red Hawk Casino Summer of Love, 7 p.m.

Shine Jazz Jam w/ Jason Galbraith & Guests, 8 p.m.

Torch Club Acoustic Open Mic, 5:30 p.m.; Keri Carr, 9 p.m.

Old Ironsides Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Pine Cove Open Mic Night, 9 p.m.

The Boxing Donkey Open Mic Variety Night, 8 p.m.

Club Car Dennis Johnson & The Ramblers, 9 p.m.

ZuhG Life Store Dunharrow, 6 p.m.

1.17

Broderick Roadhouse Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Monday

Bows and Arrows Aaron Ross, Ohioan, Dead Western Trio, 8 p.m.

Townhouse GRIMEY w/ Dubble Dutch, Ryury, DJ Whores, Crescendo, 9 p.m.

Sol Collective Microphone Mondays, 8 p.m.

Tuesday

Red Hawk Casino Northern Heat, 7 p.m.

Shine The Lava Pups, The Retronauts, 8 p.m.

Torch Club Bill Mylar, 5:30 p.m.; Sophitafunk, 9 p.m.

Old Ironsides The Nuance, 7:30 p.m.

Downtown Plaza (Lower Level) Rasar (formerly Random Abiladeze), 2 p.m.

Marilyn’s Snap Jackson, Get Down Boys, Dirt Nap Band, 9 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Luna’s Cafe Nebraska Mondays hosted by Ross Hammond, 7:30 p.m.

Capitol Garage Karaoke w/ Jeff Jenkins, 9 p.m.

Level Up Lounge Guest DJs, 9 p.m.

T2 Nightclub & Lounge Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Fox & Goose Open Mic Night, 7:30 p.m.

Sunday

Plea for Peace Center The Sheds, 7 p.m.

Saturday

1.13

Broderick Roadhouse Open Mic, 9 p.m.

Parlare L!FE w/ DJ Epik, DJ Oasis, DJ Lahn, 9 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub The Bell Boys, Humble Wolf, Clockwork Hero, 8 p.m.

Fox & Goose Bat’s All Request Show, 8 p.m.

Level Up Lounge Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Pine Cove Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Sandy Nuyts, 9:30 p.m.

Press Club Blackout w/ DJ Dali Baba, Lord Siracha, Union Hearts, Crude Studs, 9 p.m.

Red Hawk Casino Summer of Love, 7 p.m.

The Stoney Inn Georgia Rain, 9 p.m.

Torch Club X Trio, 5 p.m.; Davina Vagabond, 9 p.m.

614 Sutter Street • FolSom 916.355.8586 • PowerhouSePub.com every monday

every tueSday, 10:30Pm, no cover!

+

College Night

Monday night Country Karaoke Football 9Pm wed, Jan 9 8Pm /$5

wed, wed,SePt Jan 26 16 8Pm 8Pm /$5 /$5

thurS, Jan 10

98 rockS local lickS night with hoSt andy hawk

9:30Pm

Fri, Jan 11 10Pm

98 rockS local lickS night with hoSt andy hawk

tommy caStro

in the Silence zero client Straight Jacket StriPPerS

22

10Pm

Sun, Jan 13

wed, Jan 23 8Pm /$5

thurS, Jan 24

highway 20 band

Fri, Jan 18

Fri, Jan 25

Steel Breeze

Sat, Jan 19

Sat, Jan 26

PoSter child

thurS, Jan 17 9:30Pm

Sandy nuytS

98 rockS local lickS night with hoSt andy hawk

10Pm

Sat, Jan 12

Fair Struggle

w/ dJ rigatony & dJ alazzawi

10Pm

10Pm

buddy emmer

3Pm3Pm

oPen blueS Jam

7Pm

the bell boyS humble wolF clockwork hero

Issue 127 • January 7 – January 21, 2013

9:30Pm

10Pm

hickS & Sun, dan the boogie blaSterS Jan 20 3Pm

oPen blueS Jam 7Pm

track Fighter Sinn maFia bound oF arSon

Sun, Jan 27

driFterS 3Pm oPen blueS Jam 7Pm

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

Townhouse 2Nutz, Slumber Party, Crescendo, Spire, 9 p.m.

1.18

Colusa Casino Highway 20, 9 p.m.

Davis Bike Collective Pelvis Wrestlies, Lotion, Crude Studs, 8 p.m.

District 30 DJ Elements, 10 p.m.

1.21 Monday

Fox & Goose The Pikeys, The Cigarette Machine, One-Eyed Reilly, 9 p.m.

The Boxing Donkey Open Mic Variety Night, 8 p.m.

The Blue Lamp Monomyth, The Inception, Random Breed, King Never, 8 p.m.

G Street WunderBar Glug, Dedvolt, Skin Of Saints, 9 p.m.

Broderick Roadhouse Open Mic, 9 p.m.

The Boardwalk Bizarre (of D12), Mastamind, Leaders of the Lost, HempHeadz, Psycho-SO-Matic, Kut Throat Krazies, CleanCut Ent, Brutha Smith and more, 7 p.m.

Harlow’s Hip Service, 10 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Hideaway Bar & Grill Twilight Drifters, The Cash Prophets, Michael Ray & his Hazy Valley Boys, 8 p.m.

Fox & Goose Open Mic Night, 7:30 p.m.

Bows and Arrows The Generals (CD Release), Adrian Bourgeois, 8 p.m.

Marilyn’s Ken Koenig Band, 9 p.m.

The Boxing Donkey Adam Donald, 9 p.m.

Monticello Seasonal Cuisine Ken Kemmerling, 6 p.m.

Old Ironsides The Nuance, 7:30 p.m.

Capitol Garage Dub Culture, 10 p.m.

Old Ironsides Are We Human, FUDI, The Bar Fly Effect, DJ BlackHeart, 9 p.m.

Red Hawk Casino Chili Sauce, 7 p.m.

FRIDAY

Clark’s Corner Open Mic, 9 p.m.

The Colony Dire Peril, Legion’s Requiem, Blessed Curse, Solanum, 8 p.m.

Colusa Casino Highway 20, 9 p.m.

Fox & Goose Bathtub Gins, Midway Marvels, Delta City Ramblers, 9 p.m.

Golden Bear DJ Crook, 10 p.m.

Harlow’s Tainted Love, 10 p.m.

Level Up Lounge Hot Pants w/ DJ Rock Bottom, 9 p.m.

Luna’s Cafe Kelly Rogers and Friends, 8 p.m.

Marilyn’s Island of Black & White, 9 p.m.

Midtown BarFly Get Down to the Champion Sound w/ DJ Veyn, DJ Esef, Kris Ward, 10 p.m.

Monticello Seasonal Cuisine Bob Wren, 5:30 p.m.

Old Ironsides Nickel Slots, Whiskey & Stitches, 9 p.m.

On The Y Cursed, Krippler, Embodied Torment, Serpent and Seraph, Purification by Fire, 8 p.m.

Pine Cove Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Inspector 71, 10 p.m.

Press Club DJ Rue, 9 p.m.

Red Hawk Casino Live by the Groove, 5 p.m.; Spazmatics, 10 p.m.

The Stoney Inn The Randy Rogers Band, Wade Bowen, 9 p.m.

Thunder Valley Casino Resort Cover Me Badd, 9:30 p.m.

Torch Club Pailer & Fratis, 5 p.m.; Johnny Guitar Knox’s Birthday Show, 9 p.m.

Townhouse DJ X-GVNR, 9 p.m.

1.19 Saturday

Level Up Lounge Guest DJs, 9 p.m.

The Park Ultra Lounge Devin Lucien, DJ Peeti V, 9 p.m.

Pine Cove Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Plea for Peace Center Falling Awake, 7 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub 8 Track Massacre, 10 p.m.

Press Club DJ Larry Rodriguez, 9 p.m.

Red Hawk Casino Live by the Groove, 5 p.m.; Top Secret, 10 p.m.

Shine Anton Barbeau & Friends, 8 p.m.

Thunder Valley Casino Resort Steel Breeze, 9:30 p.m.

Sol Collective Microphone Mondays, 8 p.m.

Townhouse Open Mic, 9 p.m.

Comedy Bows and Arrows Comedy Open Mic hosted by Ray Molina, Jan. 9, 8 p.m.

Broderick Roadhouse Comedy Open Mic hosted by Carlos Rodriguez, Tuesdays, 9:30 p.m.

Cache Creek Casino Billy Gardell, Jan. 12, 8 p.m.

Crest Theatre John Oliver, Jan. 18, 8 p.m.

Townhouse Pop Freq w/ DJ X-GVNR, 9 p.m.

Best of Open Mic Showcase, Jan. 15, 8 p.m.

The Where House? Moirai, The Moth Anatomy, Stalking Distance, Before You Fall, In Theory, 8 p.m.

1.20 Sunday

Cache Creek Casino The Manhattans feat. Gerald Alston and Blue Lovett, 8 p.m.

Capitol Garage Karaoke w/ Jeff Jenkins, 9 p.m.

The Colony Urban Wolves, Dead Dads, Abandoned Generation, Tiger Streaks, 8 p.m.

“Movin On Up” Comedy Competition feat. Erikka Innes, Raj Dutta, John Ross, Michael Calvin Jr., Kareem Daniels, Bryant Tarpley, DJ Sandhu, Dylan Cole, Myles Weber and more, Jan. 17, 8 p.m.

Cash Levy, Andy Wood, Jan. 18 - 20, Fri. & Sat., 8 p.m. & 10:30 p.m.; Sunday, 7 p.m.

Luna’s Cafe Keith Lowell Jensen’s Comedy Night, every Wednesday, 8 p.m.

Po’Boyz Bar & Grill (Folsom) Comedy Open Mic, every Monday, 9 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 8 p.m.

Punchline Comedy Club Aries Spears, Jan. 10 - 13, Thurs., 8 p.m.; Fri. & Sat., 8 p.m. & 10 p.m.; Sun., 7 p.m.

Downtown Plaza (Lower Level) Michael Tobias & The Acidic Swamp Band, 2 p.m.

Sebastian Maniscalco, Jan. 17 - 19, Thurs., 8 p.m.; Fri. & Sat., 8 p.m. & 10 p.m.

Harlow’s Pinback, Judgement Day, 9 p.m.

Doug Benson, Jan. 20 - 21, Sunday, 7 p.m.; Monday, 4 p.m.

Monticello Seasonal Cuisine Donna & Bob Wren, 11 a.m.

Sacramento Comedy Spot Open Mic Scramble, every Sunday and Monday, 7:30 p.m.

The Blue Lamp Blitz w/ DJ Roderick, 9 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Dan Hicks & the Boogie Blasters, 3 p.m.; Open Blues Jam, 7 p.m.

The Boxing Donkey BlackEyed Dempseys, 9 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Torch Club Johnny Guitar Knox, 5 p.m.; Laurie Morvan, 9 p.m.

Pine Cove Cidney Cunningham & The Lost Cats, 8 p.m.

Bows and Arrows Naked Fiction, Mike Johnston, Sam Eliot, 8 p.m.

Luna’s Cafe Nebraska Mondays hosted by Ross Hammond, 7:30 p.m.

Laughs Unlimited Ward Anderson, Josh Adams, Jan. 11 - 13, Fri. & Sat., 8 p.m. & 10:30 p.m.; Sunday, 7 p.m.

Ace of Spades Down, Warbeast, 7 p.m.

The Boardwalk JJ, Young Dizzy, Penny, Richard the Rockstar, Cey Yanis, Masyah, Who Ride, California Bear Gang, CBA, 6:30 p.m.

Harlow’s Kevin Seconds, The Secretions, Whiskey & Stitches, 8 p.m.

Press Club Der Spazm, Mondo Deco, City Tribe, 5 p.m.

Harold Night, every Tuesday and Wednesday, 9 p.m.

Comedy Space w/ Ray Molina, every Thursday, 9 p.m.

The Stand Up Show, every Friday, 8 p.m.

Red Hawk Casino Aces Up, 7 p.m.

Anti-Cooperation League, every Saturday, 9 p.m.

Thunder Valley Casino Resort Legends of Motown, 7 p.m.

Top 10 List Podcast Live!, every Saturday, 10:30 p.m.

Torch Club Etta James Tribute, 4 p.m.; The Golden Cadillacs, 8 p.m.

Critical Hit: An All-Geek Comedy Show, Jan. 11, 9 p.m.

Cache Creek Casino MC Hammer, 8 p.m.

Shine Shticks Comedy w/ Trevor Hill, Jan. 17, 8 p.m.

Club Retro Rock and Hip-Hop Fest w/ The Other Brittany and more, 4 p.m.

The Stoney Inn Comedy Open Mic, every Monday, 8 p.m.

SubmergeMag.com

Tommy T’s Don Friesen, Jan. 10 - 13, Thurs., 7:30 p.m.; Fri. & Sat., 7:30 p.m. & 9:30 p.m.; Sun., 7 p.m.

Tony Roberts, Jan. 17 - 20, Thurs., 7:30 p.m.; Fri. & Sat., 7:30 p.m. & 9:30 p.m.; Sun., 7 p.m. m .

Misc.

Blue Cue Trivia Night, every Wednesday, 6:30 p.m.

Blue Line Gallery Natures Palette

by Reif Erickson, opening reception Jan. 19, 7 p.m.

Bows & Arrows Your Hair Got Long by artist Jeff Mayry, through Jan. 30 The Interplay Of Brilliant Color, Motion, Water and Freedom by artist Robert Mince, opening reception Jan. 12, 6 p.m.

Cab ride or DUI. You choose.

The Boxing Donkey Trivia Night, every Tuesday, 8 p.m.

Cache Creek Casino The Imperial Acrobats of China, Jan. 13, 3 p.m.

Cal Expo International Sportsmen’s Exposition, Jan. 10 - 13 Fox & Goose Pub Quiz, every Tuesday, 7 p.m..

Grange Performing Arts Center Movies on a Big Screen presents: Crime Wave & The Obsession of Billy Botski, Jan. 9, 7 p.m.; Murderess, Jan. 16, 7 p.m.

Harlow’s Sizzling Sirens Burlesque Experience presents Calendar Girls, Jan. 17, 8 p.m.

Little Relics Boutique & Galleria 30 Year Retrospective: An Eric Decetis Original Art Exhibit, Jan. 12, 7 p.m.

Luna’s Cafe Poetry Unplugged, every Thursday, 8 p.m.

444-2222

Memorial Auditorium Zoom: National Danish Performance Team, Jan. 12, 7:30 p.m.

Nevada City (Various Venues) Wild & Scenic Film Festival, Jan. 10 - 13 Pine Cove Trivia Night, every Wednesday, 9 p.m.

Press Club Flex Your Head Tuesday Night Trivia, every Tuesday, 8 p.m.

Sacramento Ballet Studios Open Rehearsal of The Great Gatsby plus Charleston Lesson taught by former Sacramento Ballet Dancer Jeanne Marie Jacobson, Jan. 12 Inside the Director’s Studio, Jan. 13, 4 p.m.

Sacramento Convention Center Easyriders Bike Show 2013 Tour, Jan. 12 - 13 Sacramento Poetry Center Milton 510’s Second Saturday Art Exhibit for Eye Too Am America feat. Spoken Word & Dance, Jan. 12, 5 p.m.

Shine Poetry with Legs hosted by Bill Gainer, Jan 9, 7:30 p.m.

Sleep Train Arena Monster Jam, Jan. 18 - 20 Harlem Globetrotters 2013 “You Write the Rules” World Tour, Jan. 21 Studio 24, Inc. Free Improv Night, Jan. 11, 7 p.m.

Time Tested Books Reading w/ World Renowned Poet Yuyutsu Sharma, Jan. 21, 7 p.m.

West-Wind Sacramento Drive-In The Sacramento Cycle Swap Meet, Jan. 13 Various Restaurants & Bars Dine Downtown Restaurant Week, Jan. 9 - 18

YOUR AD HERE Call Us

(916) 441-3803

or email Us

info@submergemag.com

Today!

Affordable.

Effective.

Bacon Fest Sacramento, Jan. 20 - 27

Issue 127 • January 7 – January 21, 2013

23

THURSDAYS - 9PM TUESFRI 4:30 PM • SAT 6:00 PM • HAPPY HOUR 4:307PM

1/9 - Natural Heights, Simple Creation, Street Urchinz 1/16 - Jameson and the Sorid Seeds

The grindhouse Let ‘Er Rip! Texas Chainsaw 3D Rated R

$5 validation @1Oth & L • FREE PARKING after 6PM

R E U R O Y AD HE Call Us (916) 441-3803 or email Us info@submergemag.com Today!

24

Issue 127 • January 7 – January 21, 2013

In the first weeks of any new year, people are clamoring to set the tone for the 12 months to follow. Texas Chainsaw 3D is the first widely released studio film of 2013, so maybe Hollywood wants us to expect plenty of gore this year. The creepy supernatural horror flick Mama is up later in January, and April will see the release of the Evil Dead remake, which is produced by the makers of the original film Sam Raimi, Rob Tapert and the incomparable Bruce Campbell. If the red band trailer shown before Texas Chainsaw 3D is any indication, Evil Dead might be one of the most terrifying and bloody films in recent memory. But for now we’re stuck with this quasi-sequel of Tobe Hooper’s 1974 art-house classic.

Texas Chainsaw 3D isn’t a remake. They already made a decent but forgettable Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake in 2003 starring Jessica Biel. This time around, director John Luessenhop takes us back to the film’s grimy roots… At least, he does in the first couple of minutes before giving the franchise something of a pretty, Twilight-esque makeover.

We start out with a montage recap of the 1974 classic, beautifully remastered for 3D. Footage from the original film pops back to life, yet still retaining that grainy hand-held 8mm feel and giving you a reminder of how shocking this movie must have been to audiences who weren’t accustomed to seeing so much splatter on screen.

As a blood-soaked Sally Hardesty is carted away from the chainsaw-wielding madman, Leatherface, in the back of a pickup truck, Texas Chainsaw 3D begins to suppose what happened after. An honest cop (Sheriff Hooper nicely played by Thom Barry) is called out to the scene.

Leatherface’s family, the Sawyers, holed up in their dilapidated farm house, shotguns in hand.

The sheriff has things under control until an angry mob from the nearby town burst onto the scene. There’s a firefight, and the Sawyer house is burnt to the ground, presumably killing everyone inside.

Words James Barone But you know that’s not the case. Heather Miller (Alexandra Daddario) was just a baby at the time, and two members of the mob unable to conceive a child of their own pluck her from the arms of her dying mother. Heather grows up unaware of her bizarre back story until the death of her grandmother leaves her an unexpected inheritance—a huge house in Texas and everything that goes along with it, including someone residing in the basement… Any guesses as to whom that might be?

Texas Chainsaw 3D follows in the franchise tradition of being brutal and bloody. Most of the gore is accomplished through traditional special effects techniques, which is nice since computerized splatter effects often suck (as do the rare instances in this film). The kills are excruciatingly painful—mallets to the head, tenterhooks to the spine and of course chewed up with a chainsaw—and there’s plenty of them too. Luessenhop isn’t afraid to pile on the gore and shove it in your face. He’s also not shy about paying frequent homage to the original movie—the dead armadillo on the side of the road, the Volkswagen van and even the original Leatherface, Gunnar Hansen, makes an appearance.

The elements are there, but there’s nothing new or interesting done with them. Also, though Luessenhop clearly has reverence for The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, he didn’t seem to be playing close attention. His film bears the same slick, antiseptic look of any bad, modern horror film, replete with an absurdly sexy cast, unnecessary relationship nonsense and by-thenumbers “gotcha!” scares.

Perhaps it’s wrong to compare Texas Chainsaw 3D to the original film instead of judging it on its own merits. Unfortunately, there aren’t many merits here to judge it on. I suppose that’s the danger of simply rehashing great ideas from the past without coming up with new ones of your own. Look at it this way, as far as movies go, 2013 has nowhere to go but up.

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

's

From local bands and beyond, here are Submerge’s favorite albums of 2012, in tweet-friendly format. These albums are certified #awesome!

Top 20 of 2012 Jessica Pratt s/t

Wife & Son This That and the Other

(Birth Records)

(self-released)

Pratt’s debut of homerecorded, time-capsule folk stood as a brilliant reminder of the beauty in lo-fi love letters.

20

19

A brilliant indie-pop record from one of our favorite new local bands. The suburbs of Sacramento have never sounded so good!

Thee Oh Sees Putrifiers II

Called a “dream pop duo,” Beach House records a calming and eerie sound unique to much of the music today.

Sporadic screaming bursts, fuzzy bass and plenty guitar chaos, this album has ears both assaulted and surrendering over and over.

Veteran psych-punk loonies leapt out of the garage and into national consciousness with their liveliest cuts of fuzzy fun.

(Sub Pop)

Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros Here

11

The perfect band of misfits surpasses all expectations with their second studio album full of charismatic, folk-y love songs and smiles.

8

thursday, jan 10 friday, feb 22 thursday, mar 28 wednesday, apr 24 SubmergeMag.com

Skillful rapping mixed with humor and bravado over a range of stellar production, and it’s a wrap. It’s a fun album with rewards for mindful ears.

Fine Step’s Boy’s Co. should be on Slumberland. On Captured Tracks. Hell, even Burger. Two selfpresses later, Fine Steps gets the glory.

Pure, heavy riff alchemy. Progressive, yet retro. Metal shouldn’t sound this groovy, but we’re glad it does.

A fitting album title, indeed. Anthemic as all hell, this is a singalong, raise your glass type punk rock record.

10

Nearly three years in the making, Noctourniquet was worth the wait. Sounds exactly like a Volta record should, and that’s why we love it.

Heist events

13

(Polyvinyl Record Co.)

The lords of stoner rock reach new heights on a space-y trip down the heavy metal rabbit hole.

3

(mix tape)

(Nuclear Blast)

Catchy, dreamy electropop fit for a night club or sweaty hipster venue.

Leader Jean-Philip Grobler is a pop-music force to be reckoned with.

Believe the hype. A brave debut, from a bright mind who showed that you can create outside the box and succeed. Truly masterful in every respect.

Action Bronson and Party Supplies Blue Chips

Japandroids Celebration Rock

(Razor & Tie)

(Aftermath/Interscope)

Jazz requires inspiration.

The Ross Hammond Quartet’s Adored comes from a budding father’s lullabies fed through free jazz spontaneity.

Witchcraft Legend

The Mars Volta Noctourniquet

7

(Big Weezus Music)

Fine Steps Boy’s Co.

The Sword Apocryphon

Kendrick Lamar Good Kid M.A.A.D. City

4

14

St. Lucia s/t (Columbia)

17

(In the Red)

(self-released)

(Rough Trade)

12

18

Pop anthems with heart and humor for disenfranchised prom queens and introspective homewreckers.

Metz s/t

15

The Ross Hammond Quartet Adored

(679 Recordings)

Beach House Bloom (Sub Pop)

16

Marina and the Diamonds Electra Heart

6

Death Grips The Money Store

(Modular)

(Epic)

Lonerism is damn near perfect. It’s a psych album with pop melodies; heavy guitars, intricate drumming, humming keys and an irresistible sonic sheen.

Weird, angry, nonimitable experimental hip-hop from Sacramento. Is it rap? Is it punk? What the fuck is it? Don’t ask, turn it up!

K sera (album release),

speed of sound in seawater, wrings, the new limb

midtown barfly / 8pm / $5 advance / $8 door / 18+

unKnown relatives, tbd

bows & arrows / 8pm / $5 advance / $8 door / all ages

C-Plus & Lee Bannon Young Champions

(Warner Bros.)

Tame Impala Lonerism

all ticKets available @ heistevents.ticKetleap.com heistmag.com

9

2

(self-released)

5

Two of Sacramento’s finest team up for an epic release. No features, just Plus’ smooth flows over Bannon’s undeniably sick beats. Go cop it!

Solos Beast of Both Worlds (Joyful Noise)

1

The sonic symbiosis of this Aaron Ross/Spencer Seim collaboration explored bold and bizarre realms. Sleeper LP of the year.

Last Cut wasn’t so super?

Get it fixed at anthony’s barbershop

natural child (burger records), cool ghouls (empty cellar ), tbd

bows & arrows / 8pm / $6 advance / $7 door / all ages

angel olsen, olla

bows & arrows / 8pm / $7 advance / $10 door / all ages

2408 21st st • Sac • sacramentobarbershop.com (916) 457-1120 • Tues-Fri 9am-6pm • saT 10am-4pm Issue 127 • January 7 – January 21, 2013

25

\

el Ten eleven wHiTe arrows

blue lamp • 1400 alhambra blvd. • SaCTO • 21 & Over • 9:00pm

slighTly sToopid feaTuring karl Denson marlon asHer

saturday

jan 12 thursday

jan 17

the shallow end

aCe Of SpadeS • 1417 r ST. • SaCTO • all ageS • 7:30pm

pinback

sunday

JudgemenT day

harlOw’S • 2708 J ST.

• SaCTO •

21 & Over • 8:00pm

DeaD winTer carpenTers harlOw’S • 2708 J ST. • SaCTO • 21 & Over • 9:00pm nicki bluhm & THe gramblers The easy leaves

harlOw’S • 2708 J ST.

• SaCTO •

• SaCTO •

21 & Over • 8:00pm

alo

california Honey Drops

harlOw’S • 2708 J ST.

• SaCTO •

21 & Over • 9:00pm

nomeansno The blind shake

harlOw’S • 2708 J ST.

• SaCTO •

21 & Over • 8:00pm

THe swingin’ uTTers THe impalers

blue lamp • 1400 alhambra blvd. • SaCTO • 21 & Over • 9:00pm

galacTic

feaTuring corey glover (of living colour)

harlOw’S • 2708 J ST.

• SaCTO •

21 & Over • 8:00pm

Thao and The geT Down sTay Down blue lamp • 1400 alhambra blvd. • SaCTO • 21 & Over • 9:00pm blackalicious harlOw’S • 2708 J ST. • SaCTO • 21 & Over • 9:00pm g. love & special sauce harlOw’S • 2708 J ST. • SaCTO • 21 & Over • 8:00pm murs prof • fasHawn

harlOw’S • 2708 J ST.

• SaCTO •

21 & Over • 10:00pm

maTT cosTa harlOw’S • 2708 J ST. • SaCTO • 21 & Over • 8:00pm

abstract entertainment www.absTracTsacramenTo.com 26

James Barone jb@submergemag.com

friday

jan 25 thursday

jan 31

21 & Over • 8:00pm

akron/family blue lamp • 1400 alhambra blvd. • SaCTO • 21 & Over • 9:00pm marco benevenTo Trio feaT. Dave DrewiTz (bass, ween) anD anDy borger (Drums, Tom waiTs)

harlOw’S • 2708 J ST.

jan 20

The Strike-a-pose-a-saurus

friday

fEb 1 tuEsday

fEb 5 saturday

fEb 16 tuEsday

fEb 19 saturday

fEb 23 tuEsday

fEb 26 friday

mar 1 saturday

mar 2 sunday

mar 3 thursday

mar 21 sunday

mar 24

TickeTs available aT: TickeTfly.com and The beaT (17Th & J sT.), • TickeTs for Harlow’s sHows also available aT Harlows.com

Issue 127 • January 7 – January 21, 2013

Dinosaurs, dude. How cool is it that there used to be these giant reptile-things wandering the globe eons before we were even a glimmer on the evolutionary chain?

It’s kind of a bummer that they’re not around any more. I know it was hundreds of millions of years ago that they tapped out of the MMA struggle that is life in our universe, but I don’t think I’ve really gotten over it. How awesome would it be to go see a stegosaurus at the San Diego Zoo? The only acceptable answer is “really fucking awesome.”

The good thing about them, though, is that dinosaurs continue to inspire us. Hey, there’s even a 3D re-release of Jurassic Park coming out in 2013, which is neat. They’re so cool that scientists spend all this time and money kicking around dirt and old rocks hoping they’ll find out more about what they were up to back in the Cretaceous Period or whatever. Thanks to a study published on Jan. 4, the world now knows how some dino dudes picked up dino babes…by shaking their tail-feathers.

Scott Persons, a University of Alberta paleontology researcher, led the study. The findings were published in a recent issue of (get this) Acta Palaeontologica Polonica, which is the most bad ass name for a publication ever (Submerge being a close second). Persons and company hypothesized—through methods that make little sense to me—that a breed of dino-lotharios known as oviraptors (ancestors of popular ‘saurs the T-Rex and velociraptor) plumed out their tail feathers peacock style in order to attract mates. If that wasn’t enough, an amorous oviraptor may also have crested his head feathers or shaked his body a bit.

Probably not all three at the same time, though, because lady oviraptors would see that as a sign of desperation. I’m not sure if that was in the study or not, but that’s just my theory.

Maybe if Persons is reading this, he can include it in the next revision of his paper. Hey, throwing it out there.

Who knows, though, right? It’s difficult to fathom how long ago that was. Think about how fast things change just over a couple of years.

Remember when we were all on Myspace? I have old dinosaur books from when I was a kid. I never got rid of them, and they used to

illustrate these mighty beasts standing upright on two legs as we do, their tails dragging along the ground as if they were Godzilla (who despite what I’d like to believe is just a fictional character). They were even set up that way at the American Museum of Natural History in New York. I remember going there as a kid and standing face to shin bone with a towering tyrannosaur.

Then someone came along and figured out that with tails that long and heavy, how could they run with this business dragging behind them? Evolution happens in a lot of ways, I guess.

For years now, it’s been believed that most dinosaurs had more in common with birds than reptiles. So it’s become en vogue to think that many of them might have had feathers also. I’m not sure how I feel about this. I mean, feathers are cool and all, but I’d lose respect for a velociraptor if it was doddering around like a pigeon. No offense to pigeons. I’m sure they’re just misunderstood and unjustly reviled, but they’re not even remotely bad ass. They get all skittish if you walk near them, and they just kinda peck their beaks on the ground even if there’s no visible food there. It’s kind of sad.

It’s neat to think, though, that after all these years, we’re still learning stuff about these creatures that ruled the planet so many millennia ago. I hope more things come out like they had a whole culture that we humans couldn’t really comprehend until some genius with a 25th generation iPad was able to construct a triceratops to human translator.

Dinosaurs existed for hundreds of millions of years. Maybe they had scientists and poets and reality TV stars just like we do. Maybe they were running things on fossil fuels just like we do until some uppity activist apatosaurs banded together and forced dino legislators to instate green energy policies (too bad they couldn’t get their act together in time!). Maybe I should get a girlfriend so I don’t spend so much time thinking about this stuff. … Yeah, um… Wait. Dinosaurs are inspiring. That’s the point I’m getting at here. Here’s hoping you find your “dinosaur” in 2013.

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

Find the answers

you’ve been looking for...

Church of Scientology Sacramento Open 9 a.m. to 10 p.m (Mon-Fri) & 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. (Sat-Sun) 1007 6th Street (6th & J St.), Sacramento - (916) 319-5440

www.scientology-sacramento.org Take this magazine in to receive a free DVD. © 2012 by CSSAC. All Rights Reserved. Scientology is a trademark and service mark owned by Religious Technology Center and used with its permission. Produced in USA.

SubmergeMag.com

Issue 127 • January 7 – January 21, 2013

27

Dive into Sacramento & its Surrounding Areas

January 7 – 21, 2013

#127 free Cartoonist

Eric Decetis A Rare Breed of Artist

the daily show's

j ohn

oliver Writer, Comedian, Smurf

Submerge’s

Top 20 Albums of 2012 Bacon, Bacon & More Bacon Broderick Roadhouse Sacramento Bacon Fest

Pinback

Rules of Engagement

Chef Adam Pechal to Appear on ABC’s The Taste • Texas Chainsaw Massacred • Good Bye Random Abiladeze, Hello Rasar