Submerge Magazine: Issue 74 ( December 6 - 20, 2010)

Dive into Sacramento & its Surrounding Areas

December 6 – 20, 2010

#74

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Issue 74 • December 6 – December 20, 2010

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

contents

14

26

74 Dec. 6 – 20

2010

03 Dive in 04 The Stream your senses 07 Submerge Optimistic Pessimist 08 The grindhouse 08 The 10 refined tastes Capture 11 Capitol Saints 12 Hanover Flav 14 Flexible 16 Eligh 18 holiday gift guide 26 Cake 28 calendar 33 Album Spotlight shallow 34 the end Black swan

eating raw

hoodies

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Agent Ribbons Chateau Crone

cofounder/ Editor in Chief/Art Director

Melissa Welliver melissa@submergemag.com cofounder/ Advertising Director

Jonathan Carabba jonathan@submergemag.com Advertising sales

Josselin Basaldu josselin@submergemag.com senior editor

James Barone Contributing editor

Mandy Johnston

Contributing Writers

Joseph Atkins, Robin Bacior, Josselin Basaldu, Corey Bloom, Bocephus Chigger, Josh Fernandez, Brad Fuhrman, Anthony Giannotti, Blake Gillespie, Vince Girimonte, Bobby S. Gulshan, Ryan L. Prado, Adam Saake, Amy Serna

Submerge Magazine

2308 J Street, Suite F Sacramento, Calif. 95816

916.441.3803 info@submergemag.com

Contributing photographer

Samantha Saturday distribution

Blake Gillespie, Monica McStotts

printed on recycled paper

www.submergemag.com Follow us on Twitter! @SubmergeMag

SubmergeMag.com

All content is property of Submerge and may not be reproduced without permission.

Visit www.submergemag.com to view more material you can’t have. Submerge is both owned and published by Submerge Network. All opinions expressed throughout Submerge are those of the author and do not necessarily mean we all share those opinions.

Feel free to take a copy or two for free, but please don’t remove our papers or throw them away. Submerge welcomes letters of all kinds, whether they are full of love or hate.

We want to know what is on your mind, so feel free to contact us via snail mail at 2308 J Street, Suite F Sacramento, Calif.

95816. Or you can e-mail us at info@submergemag.com. Your opinion matters to us, believe it or not, so please feel free to speak your mind and we just might listen. Thanks for reading Submerge!

front cover photo by Robert Knight

dive in Giftalicious Melissa welliver melissa@submergemag.com

There are two things about gifting that I especially enjoy: 1) getting something for someone that they don’t expect, yet they end up loving, and 2) shopping at a local store/giving something that is locally made.

In this issue our lovely staff took several weeks to find some of the coolest and most unique gifts they could locate in Sacramento. We even brought most of the items back to our office and photographed them (which turned out to be quite a task).

But all in all, I’m sure our 2010 Submerge Gift Guide will give you several ideas for those people on your holiday shopping list, even that hard-to-shop-for person. There’s quite a range in our gift suggestions: from the fashionable to techie, from $5 to $139, it’s safe to say there is something for everyone.

When compiling all the items for our gift guide, we realized we had too many to feature in the limited pages. Rather than not featuring certain items or making all the pictures small, we decided to increase our page count to expand our gift guide.

Issue 74 is a whopping 36 pages! Not only is that the most pages we’ve ever been, it’s amazing to do it during December (which is tends to be a slower month).

While this is the first time ever that we’ve been 36 pages, in 2010 we have consistently had larger issues than in years past.

This has been exciting, because with the larger issues there has been room for more great feature stories and even new and expanding columns.

Submerge is almost 3 years old now, and we’ve even grown to the point where we were able to get a small office downtown this year. This all wouldn’t have been possible without our advertisers. Because we are a free publication, we depend on them to keep the page count up and the ink on the paper. Please take the time to look at the ads in each issue and even go as far as to let the businesses know that you saw their ads in Submerge.

We would really appreciate it.

Besides probably my favorite gift guide ever, in this issue we have some awesome stories. On our front cover we have one of the most popular bands to come from Sacramento, Cake. Their first new album in seven years, Showroom of Compassion, will be out this coming January. We were able to speak with John McCrea about their recording process, their frequent secret shows and even about planting trees (page 26).

Our back cover story is on Eligh, a member of the Living Legends Crew. Our interview (on page 16) tackles some pretty deep shit and as one of my editors put it best, it’s hard to not get all teary eyed. In our interview you can read about how Eligh has come back from the dark depths of addiction and is thankfully around to release his latest album Grey Crow .

Earlier this year we ran a feature on Brian Hanover and his solo music. A few weeks after that issue hit the streets, his band The Hanover Saints decided to reunite. We were able to catch up with Hanover again (page 12) to discuss the reasons behind the band getting back together, how doing the solo thing helped him grow as a musician and more.

After numerous attempts to set up an interview with the legendary Sacramento B-boy crew Flexible Flav, we were finally able to work something out. They are extremely hard working and are constantly traveling to competitions near and far. In December they are even hosting a competition in Rancho Cordova called Sac Hop. Please read more about this ever evolving crew and what they are bringing to our area on page 14.

Enjoy #74, Melissa-Dubs

Issue 74 • December 6 – December 20, 2010

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A new A Tribe Called Quest documentary will debut next month at the Sundance Film Festival. The film, titled Beats, Rhymes & Life, evidently didn’t get the final OK from Q-Tip and other members of the group. Q-Tip’s 140 characterrestricted tweets said, “I am not in support of the A Tribe Called Quest documentary,” and, “The filmmaker should respect the band to the point of honoring the few requests that’s [sic] was made abt [sic] the piece.” According to RollingStone. com, the film shows Q-Tip and Phife Dawg arguing on camera and shows a joking alternate title for the film, Beats, Rhymes & Fights. Nonetheless, the film is very much a celebratory look at the group’s two-decade-long career.

Fans went to the forums to complain about Jack White’s Third Man Records for auctioning off rarities on eBay, including several limited-edition White Stripes’ LPs for $300. Ben Swank, head of Third Man Records, said in a blog post, “I don’t think people will be as repulsed by the fact that we’re auctioning our records when they hear we plan on donating $15,000 to charity from sales of these limited-edition LPs.” He went on to say these rare items would be sold for a high price by somebody.

“Why not cut the ‘flipper’ out of the picture?” he wrote. I don’t think it works like that, Mr. Swank.

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(916)628-2935 Issue 74 • December 6 – December 20, 2010

Actor and Juno babydaddy Michael Cera is going from playing bass in the movie Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, to playing bass in real life for the Sub Pop band Mister Heavenly.

Cera played with the band at The Moore Theatre in Seattle on Nov. 30, where they were supporting Passion Pit, and is hitting the road with the band on their West Coast tour in December. Mister Heavenly features members of Modest Mouse, Man Man and Islands.

Brad Fuhrman

Britney Spears has been somewhat under the radar as of late, but that won’t last for long.

Britney announced via Twitter that she’ll be releasing a new album, her seventh full length, in March. The new album is almost wrapped up and was produced by hit maker Dr. Luke, who has written everything from Katy Perry’s “Teenage Dream” and “California Gurls,” to Kesha’s “Tik Tok” and Miley Cyrus’ “Party In the USA.” Safe to say, he’s done OK in the last year. “She’s such an icon, I don’t want to let anyone down,” he said.

Britney tweeted about her forthcoming album, “I AM IN L-O-V-E WITH IT!”

Conor Oberst is getting back to making a Bright Eyes record, after spending time playing as Conor Oberst and the Mystic Valley Band and as a member of Monsters of Folk. Bright Eyes will release their seventh album, The People’s Key, on Feb. 15. Nathaniel Walcott and Monsters of Folk band mate/longtime producer Mike Mogis round out the Bright Eyes lineup for this record. The album also features appearances by members of Cursive, the Faint, the Mynabirds, Now It’s Overhead, Autolux and the Berg Sans Nipple as well.

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

REGIONAL

The stream mean doe gree teams up with raekwon

Every time I hear about a band from our region doing big things I just can’t help but get super stoked for them! For example: Sacramento’s loudest duo, Middle Class Rut, recently headed down to Los Angeles to film a couple songs for Fuel TV’s show The Daily Habit. It will air on Wednesday, Dec. 8 at 9:30 p.m. After that, the guys will head out for shows alongside heavyhitters like OK Go, Neon Trees, Fences, Sick Puppies and My Chemical Romance. Zack Lopez (guitars, vocals) and Sean Stockham (drums, vocals) are two of the nicest, hardest-working dudes I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting, and I wish them nothing but success. To keep up with them, visit www.mcrut.com.

Todd Morgan and the Emblems, a young rock ‘n’ roll band from Sacramento, also recently recorded a live video shoot in Palo Alto, Calif., for a show called EC’s Jook Joint that will be aired on a Dec. 24 Christmas Special. The program will appear on over 365 affiliates, 148 being California college stations. The band performed two songs off their upcoming EP Dance With Me, which is expected to be released in January. If you are a fan of ‘50s-era rock, like Elvis, Jerry Lee Lewis, Chuck Berry, etc. then you are going to love these guys. They are young, yes, but they can sure play! Check out www.toddmorganandtheemblems.com for more information.

I came across a hot new Mean Doe Green (aka Doey Rock) track on the Fly High crew’s website (www.weareflyhigh.com) the other day called “Blue Ribbon Rap” and I strongly suggest you go download it for free. The beat was done by Hippie Sabotage, a production team consisting of So Crates and Sour Beats, and Raekwon, Planet Asia and Nicatyne were invited by Mean Doe to spit (and sing the hook) over it. Fader premiered the track on their website; it’s nice to see some local cats get big nods.

SubmergeMag.com

Jonathan Carabba Send regional news tips to info@submergemag.com

Granite Bay pop-punkers Grenade Jumper are having a CD release show for their new EP Still Not Goin’ Home on Dec.19 at Club Retro. The single “She Let You In” has been online for a couple months, along with a goofy classroom setting music video. Their music is super catchy (think New Found Glory, A Day to Remember, etc.) and they seem like funny dudes, so it’s tough not to like them. The release show, which is also Retro’s Fourth Annual Christmas Show, will also feature performances from Crimson Sky, Body Electric, Streetlight Fire, Wings of Innocence and Serenade the Radio. It’s $8 in advance and $10 at the door. Doors open at 6 p.m. and all ages are welcome. For more information on Grenade Jumper and to hear some tunes, visit www. myspace.com/grenadejumpermusic.

Jeff Wright from the local indie outfit Early and Often recently sent me a rough mix off their upcoming album that will be released sometime in 2011. “We’re going to sit on it until next year and find some label representation,” Wright told me of the record. The song he teased me with is called “The Feast” and it clocks in at just over seven minutes. For the first minute-and-a-half or so, a xylophone and a clean electric guitar with tremolo set the tone, then the song starts to build in an epic and eerie manner. At three minutes in, when the whole band kicks in and guitars are wailing with delay and the drums are pounding, I think to myself, “Yeah, these guys have got it,” and by “it” I mean the ability to give me the goose bumps. Can’t wait to hear the finished product. Check out E&O’s website (www. bitedownallyoursin.net) for free downloads and to keep up with the group.

Another local band I’m excited about who coincidentally also has “early” in its name is Early States. The group used to play what I would loosely call “pop-rock,” but after listening to a handful of songs off their upcoming full-length (which they are currently working on), I would say “electro-pop” is the best way to describe their new sound. There are tons of keys and synth in the new stuff and deep, driving rhythms that are pretty much undeniable. Old fans shouldn’t fret. They still retain plenty of the rockin’ vibe that their last EP Powerlines had; they haven’t abandoned their roots completely. Go check out “Run,” “Torch” and “Outside” to hear for yourself at Facebook.com/earlystates or Myspace.com/ earlystates. The group will be releasing three other new songs in the coming weeks, so keep an eye (and ear) out for those. Also, be sure to catch them live at the Boardwalk on Dec. 10 alongside Amberglance and Wesley Avery. Doors open at 8 p.m. and all ages are welcome.

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Issue 74 • December 6 – December 20, 2010

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Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas Audio Express — Sacramento Submerge — 12/6/2010

Your Senses SEE HEAR TASTE Touch

TOUCH

HEAR

On Dec. 12, Beatnik Studios and the Musical Charis Music School are hosting their second annual Holiday Recital and Craft Faire. From 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. at Beatnik Studios (located at 2421 17th Street), you can peruse unique handmade gifts from local crafters (plenty of gifts under $5 will be available), hear great live music from Musical Charis Music School’s students (as well as from Hot Tar Roofers and Musical Charis the band), win raffle prizes, enjoy holiday food and drinks and more. Greg Pond, gallery manager at Beatnik, wrote in the press release, “This is not Grandma’s typical kind of craft fair, but a collection of unique handcrafted gifts from skateboard clocks to vinyl record bowls, vintage hair-pieces and much more.” Sounds pretty awesome to us! For more information on Beatnik Studios hit up www.beatnik-studios.com, and for more information on Musical Charis (either the band or the music school), visit www.musicalcharis.com.

Every year our good friend Jake Desrochers of The Lonely Kings throws a rad holiday toy drive show, and this year is no different. On Dec. 11, head to Townhouse with a new toy (all donations go to the Sacramento Salvation Army) for the Fifth Annual Rock for Tots. There will be live music upstairs from Prieta, The Lonely Kings, Dogfood, Lavadrama and Rob 86’D. Downstairs there will be DJ sets from DJ Blackheart and A. Sarti. Bring a toy and get a free raffle ticket to win prizes from American Graffiti Tattoo & Piercing, Spanish Fly Hair Garage, Blood Wizard Skateboards, Article Consignment Boutique and more. Party starts at 9 p.m. and it’s just $5 at the door, 21-and-over only.

Unique Handmade Gifts from Local Crafters

Fifth Annual Rock for Tots

SEE

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Second Wednesday Wine Night at Ink Eats & Drinks On Dec. 8, Ink Eats & Drinks is hosting their Second Wednesday Wine Night where for only $30 (in advance, the price goes up $5 at the door) you’ll get five courses, two glasses of different whites and three glasses of different reds. What a steal! As of press time, the menu for Dec. 8 wasn’t finalized yet, but if it’s anything like their food on any given day, it’s going to be damn delicious. Ink is located at 2730 N Street and can be contacted by phone at (916) 456-2800.

SubmergeMag.com

Everything is Awesome, a solo exhibition of photographs by Keith Telfeyan This Second Saturday at Cuffs (located at 2523 J Street) will be the opening reception of Everything is Awesome, a series of color photographs by Sacramento-born, Brooklyn-based artist Keith Telfeyan. His photography focuses on what some may call dull, boring, everyday sights; he captures them so the viewer is forced to take a second look. In the press release for the exhibition, Telfeyan explained, “Everything is everything. Sorrow and trees and architecture and love and chemistry and politics and the world. It’s awesome to see a wave of oneness within each particular thing. Or perhaps the everyday itself is simply worth seeing in a new way.” After seeing his photos, you’ll agree that indeed, everything is in fact awesome. Since this is also Cuffs’ holiday show, they are sponsoring a toy drive. Anyone who donates a toy will be entered into a drawing for a $50 gift certificate to the store. Stop by on Dec. 11 from 6 p.m. to 10 p.m. and don’t forget to bring a toy!

Issue 74 • December 6 – December 20, 2010

7

The Optimistic Pessimist

The grindhouse

TSA: Keeping America Safe One Reach-Around at a Time

Bocephus Chigger bocephus@submergemag.com

It’s the holidays again, which means a lot of you will be traveling. Once upon a time, the worst you had to worry about was a long line at the airport and maybe getting stuck next to a crying baby or a fat person. Ah… the good ol’ days. Unfortunately, now your fellow passengers may very well try to blow up their shoes or underwear mid-flight. Thankfully the government has our backs in the form of the TSA, which is short for Tough Shit, America.

The TSA creates the guidelines and travel restrictions that we all must follow when flying, and the list keeps growing every year.

With all the new additions, it can be hard to keep track of the dos and don’ts, but I’m here to help.

Before you attempt to join the mile high club, you bondage freaks should make sure to leave your whips, paddles and Tasers back at the dungeon. If you must bring them, then you’re going to need to check your bag. Of course, even a good submissive will need at least one in-flight beating. A sock filled with nickels can do wonders to that bad attitude and is perfectly acceptable to stow in your carry-on. A few strong whacks and that sub will be licking your boots in no time.

For all the ninjas, Vikings and Renaissance Faire enthusiasts out there, I have some disappointing news: ice axes, sabers and swords (including but not limited to cutlasses, rapiers, katana, samurais, broadswords, scimitars and fencing foils) are not allowed in your carry-on nor may they be attached to your hip or sheathed on your back. While they may seem perfectly harmless, nunchucks and throwing stars are also banned. Time to perfect your dim mak death touch.

You’re probably thinking that without your trusty blade, you’re going to need to bring your gun for protection, but those killjoys at the TSA aren’t going to allow that either. Don’t fret, though, there are no rules against bringing a cannon onto the plane, but you should be mindful of its size. If it won’t fit in the overhead compartment, the flight attendants are going to make you check it.

8

Also you should be aware that black powder is banned, so you will need an alternative ignition source. Mentos and Diet Coke might do the trick, but you should experiment before boarding the plane.

There are plenty of us who hate flying.

Some grow nervous at the sight of a plane and need some form of medication to help cope with the always-looming anxiety. Our good friends at the TSA sympathize, but they have devised some rules for you too. If you want to huff gold paint, you better do it in the parking lot before you board. Same goes for you turpentine and paint thinner heads. For those wondering how they will possibly make it through the flight, it appears that modeling glue is still a-OK. A few strong whiffs and you’ll be flying high before you know it!

Now that we’ve covered the banned items, let’s take a closer look at the new pre-boarding passenger screening procedures.

The TSA is providing us all with two great options. The first is a full body scan, wherein a radioactive beam is used to see through your clothes (just like Superman!) to make sure you aren’t smuggling any cash to that al Qaeda mosque being built near Ground Zero.

You are also required to pose for a 10-minute X-rated webcam session where the proceeds will go toward paying off our national debt to the Chinese.

Most of us would agree that this all sounds absolutely pleasant and can’t wait to try it out, but for the squeamish out there, there is another option. The TSA has hired thousands of repeat sex offenders to conduct pat downs of anyone that chooses to forego the body scan. These lucky individuals will have their “junk” groped repeatedly by men and women wearing sandals with socks and shorts year-round. Virgins and members of the clergy should be forewarned: after completing the process your cherry is considered popped.

All of this in the name of safety, and I for one feel safer already. Thanks TSA… You’re the best! Now if I could just find my sack of nickels…

Issue 74 • December 6 – December 20, 2010

Blessed Black Wings Black Swan Fox Searchlight Pictures Words James Barone

When Thomas Leroy (played by French actor Vincent Cassel) announces to his ballet company that the next season at New York’s Lincoln Center will open with Swan Lake, he acknowledges that it’s an obvious, even overdone choice. But, he tells his attentive company, their production is going to be different. It will be stripped down, visceral and star a new face in the role of the coveted Swan Queen. A group of young dancers are left to vie for the vacated position of the remarkable, but aging, principle Beth MacIntyre (Winona Ryder), and the stage is set for a film rife with betrayal, jealousy and competition. What we get in the hands of director Darren Aronofsky (Pi, Requiem for a Dream) is something far more frightening.

Nina Sayers (Natalie Portman) is a young woman living in a posh Manhattan neighborhood with her ex-ballerina mother (Barbara Hershey). Nina is quiet and meek, but there’s no denying her skill. She has been with the company a while, but has yet to be featured. It’s not her precision that’s in question but her passion. However, when she finds out she’s being considered for the role of Swan Queen, she begins to struggle with her own ambitiousness. After her audition goes poorly, she gets dolled up and confronts Leroy.

He forces a kiss on her, and when she bites him in response, Leroy changes his mind about who would play the lead and gives the role to Nina.

What follows is an unnerving psychological/ psychosexual thriller that burrows deep into the darker recesses of the human mind.

Nina’s meticulous, precious nature is a sharp contrast to the city around her. Her bedroom at home is done up like a sanctuary for a tween girl: stuffed animals populate every nook and cranny, she lulls herself to

sleep by listening to an old ballerina music box. Outside, the pace and noise of the city must be torturous for someone so sheltered and fragile. Still, Nina seems unfazed. She functions, and even excels in some regard in a demanding field, but there are clues that everything may not be going well behind the tranquil, perfect exterior. Early in the film, her mother spots a rash on her back and asks if she’s been scratching again. It’s the first sign that something may be off.

Portman is fantastic in the role. Nina is taken on quite a journey over the course of Black Swan’s near two-hour run time. She goes from wallflower to raging diva to vixen, but never loses sight of Nina’s heart-wrenching vulnerability—not to mention deftly handles the demand of numerous ballet sequences. Mila Kunis, best known for her work in television’s That ‘70s Show, plays Lily, a new dancer to the company who arrives from San Francisco and serves as Nina’s main foil. Whereas Nina is achingly exact in her quest for perfection, Lily is a free and wild soul. Kunis plays the part well, but it’s the shifting dynamic between the two characters—at once friendly, competitive and seductive—that firmly cements Black Swan as an exquisite mindfuck.

From the opening sequence, a sparsely lit overture featuring Portman and a male dancer, the film grabs instant hold. Visually stunning, sharply written (a good dose of black humor here and there eases some of the tension) and frighteningly suspenseful, Aronofsky and screenwriters Mark Heyman and Andres Heinz craft a dizzying play within a play (or ballet within a film). Much like the art form it’s mimicking, it starts slow and builds toward a fever pitch. The night before Nina’s first performance as the Swan Queen feeds from the ominous tension that builds throughout Black Swan and regurgitates it as unholy terror—the kind that can only be released by the demons of one’s own mind. It’s easy to throw around praise such as “film of the Black Swan is scheduled year,” but with something to open in as good as Black Swan, Sacramento on the slipper certainly fits.

Dec. 17.

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

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miss may i pierce the veil the chariot a bullet for pretty boy

simple creation • the shades of gray across the tide • eazy dub

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The TickeTs availaBle @ dimple records, The BeaT, armadillo(davis), TickeTs.com, musicToday.com, Boardwalkrocks.com and Boardwalk Box office

Issue 74 • December 6 – December 20, 2010

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Issue 74 • December 6 – December 20, 2010

Eat Raw and Prosper Margeret Gomes makes eating raw simple Words Adam Saake The smell of Willie’s hamburgers wafted through the rain-soaked streets; it was the first real storm of the season. As the country prepared for Thanksgiving, its most gluttonous holiday of the year in which hundreds of millions of pounds of turkey are consumed, a small crowd gathered inside of Beatnik Studios for a talk on raw foods titled, The Power of Raw Foods. Presenter Margaret Gomes, a raw food chef at the Living Light Culinary Arts Institute, stood in front of the tentative audience and began.

“Most people out there, regardless of how they eat, know that they need to eat fruits and vegetables in their diet,” she said. “The raw food diet simply says that they should be the majority of what you eat, rather than the minority. You can eat other things in moderation, but eating raw fruits and vegetables should be the bulk of what you eat.”

Gomes continued by saying that eating raw foods isn’t a radical concept. When we eat an apple, an orange, some snap peas or slices of tomato, we are eating raw food. It doesn’t stop there, though, so don’t pat yourself on the back just yet. I think it’s safe to say that most Americans don’t eat enough fruits and vegetables. Every fast food joint, coffee shop and café has an obligatory fruit cup at best and even the salads at restaurants are loaded with fish, steak, chicken, cheese and highcalorie dressings. The American diet, which is a high-acid diet, isn’t quite centered around eating raw fruits and vegetables. But it doesn’t have to be complicated, Gomes said.

“If you want to eat more raw food, all you need to do is increase your intake of fruits, vegetables—specifically green leafy vegetables and your natural fats,” said Gomes. If you’re wondering where those natural fats come from, think nuts, flaxseed and avocados.

Not only did Gomes explain how to eat to raw, but she explained how to get the most out of the foods we eat. For example, fruits and vegetables are loaded with enzymes in their raw state.

“Enzymes help you break down and digest your food,” she explained. “When you cook the food past a certain temperature it actually destroys the enzymes in those foods.” The same with proteins—when they are heated they release their nutrients, which means when we eat them our bodies aren’t fully getting what they need.

Another interesting fact that Gomes pointed out is that our bodies are roughly 70

to 80 percent water and coincidently (or not), fruits and vegetables also have the same water content. Water helps our bodies digest food and helps our organs function properly.

So, along with drinking water, eating raw fruits and vegetables is a good way to get that water content that your body needs to function properly.

Gomes’ message resonated so deeply because she wasn’t some nutjob getting up on her high horse and condemning everyone else for eating like shit. In fact, the reason she herself found the path to the raw food diet was by necessity. She became very ill and found out that her body wasn’t absorbing the nutrients she needed to be healthy.

“I had no energy, I couldn’t climb stairs or do anything around the house. I was basically immobile,” said Gomes. “I came to the States in the hope that I would find something that would help me. I didn’t know about the raw food diet.” She did some research online and came across a book by Victoria Boutenko called 12 Steps to Raw Food. The book was very enlightening, simple and easy to understand and she decided to give the diet a try. “I’d tried every other thing I could imagine and nothing gave me any improvement.” She started simple by juicing fruits and vegetables and making smoothies for herself; and within two weeks, she noticed a difference. When you juice fruits and vegetables and make smoothies with greens like kale or spinach added to them, your body is able to extract the most vitamins and phytonutrients (components found in plants) from this liquid form. In fact, you should even have juice on an empty stomach; like, say, first thing in the morning for this reason. And no, mimosas don’t count.

There are basic principles that have been here since the beginning of humanity.

We need water, air, exercise and a healthy diet. This isn’t complicated; and no matter how advanced science becomes, it seems it advances mainly to reverse the damage we’ve done to ourselves. Listen to or read any insight offered by modern medical professionals and the first thing out all of their mouths is, “exercise and eat well.” There’s no pill, there’s no surgery, there’s no unicorn blood to drink—just take care of yourself and you’ll be contributing toward your good health and long life.

For more information on the raw food diet and to find out about upcoming workshops and classes, visit www.rawfoodchef.com.

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

Capitol Capture

Chris Paterson {Volcom hoodie/gifted}

Boys & The Hood

Francisco Parra {Cotton On hoodie/Cotton On}

It’s cold out in Sacramento, but not cold enough for the uber-bundled-up hibernation fashion.

Sacramento gents are rocking hooded sweatshirts all around town. Stripes, button detailing, plaid, patterns, graphics and colorful lining make all the difference between your college “studying” sweatshirt and that stylish, eye-catching hoodie.

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Various local boutiques carry rad hoodies for those hip-hoppers, preppies, hipsters and simply styled dudes. For example, the striped hoodie by PJ Mark pictured above is $35 from Getta Clue.

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Issue 74 • December 6 – December 20, 2010

11

A Call to Arms

Hanover Saints release a new album, look to cement their legacy in their hometown Words Butch Ivory

For nearly 20 years, Brian Hanover has been devouring the sights, sounds and chaos of Sacramento punk rock. The Hanover Saints have spent the most crucial chunk of that time writing, recording and improving their place in its history.

In spite of numerous lineup changes and scurrilous misunderstanding from all sides, Hanover has managed to find his focus time and time again. The Saints’ latest offering, Bitter Pills, defines once more our need for the Hanover Saints in this city, and their need for a place of their own in it. As Hanover asserts, “As far as I see the scene in my hometown…I used to think it was fragmented, but now I just think it is fractured.”

For those of us who have toiled in the underbelly of the Sacramento music scene for so long, it’s a scene that at times has struggled to find a sense of itself, a sanctuary more rooted in folklore rather than history. Having witnessed bands as diverse and wide-ranging as ‘80s skate rock legends Tales of Terror, or the working class thrash dynamo Sins of the Flesh to the more recent Ramones-esque pop sensibility of The Groovy Ghoulies or the street punk anthems of Whiskey Rebels, this city has enjoyed a wealth of talent but suffered from an absence of cohesion.

Negotiating this landscape of division, The Hanover Saints now find themselves straddling the lines of separation. For Hanover, it’s a source of inspiration rather than of a loss of faith. “It puts me back into the ‘I don’t belong anywhere’ category, and once again I feel like I did when I was 10 and heard Black Flag or 7 Seconds for the first time,” he says. “What I felt at the time was the world is a mess; I am going to change it, even if it’s just my community.”

In the following interview, with a renewed sense of purpose and a brand new release in the can, Brian Hanover discusses and argues about what drives him and the band to once again climb back into the blood-stained ring of Sacramento’s underground.

12

After several lineup changes and a solid new record, Murdertown, The Hanover Saints seemed to vanish. Why the comeback? Why now?

I never really wanted to put it on hold. But at the time we went on hiatus I was going through a lot mentally, business- and family-wise, and just wanted to see things from a non-band perspective. I always hoped to one day get back, when it was right for me… I think at some point I was missing something inside myself that I needed to tap into and stepping away seemed to be the most honest thing to do. I started playing solo and fell in love with not having to rely on other people to make music, but it allowed me to challenge everything I was about.

How has your solo experience affected the Hanover Saints?

I needed to shake my core, and playing live by myself channeled a lot of those feelings, beliefs, and not compromising. So three years went by and Wy [Harrell], our drummer, played on some solo stuff and we always talked about it. He has stayed loyal through it all, and when asked to play a show last June, I called the three guys up. So much time had passed, and we missed being around each other and wanted to play.

It was just time. The music business side has changed so much that we knew we had to do this all ourselves, and it was the truest place for us so we moved forward. The solo thing has really helped me be more focused when writing and allowed me to take more risks… I just write and what comes out just comes out. Hanover

Issue 74 • December 6 – December 20, 2010

Saints material was coming out in my writing at home, and it came at a perfect time to start playing together again. Maybe not financially, but that never has been a deciding factor, but it has its challenges with releasing music these days.

Anything goes in that area now. We are really enjoying the freedom of music and how creative it can be, which is making Hanover Saints a healthier situation for all of us.

Lyrically, you seem to focus more on the personal than the political. Is this a conscious decision? Or is it a reflection of the type of songwriters you most identify with?

On this EP, I left it more open-ended. We had a solid fellow produce us at a certain point, and we had a meeting to talk about the record. He said, “When I listen to your past songs, I don’t feel like I know you, but I do know you, and I know your personal story. I challenge you to dig deep.” I think at that moment it clicked for me. I hid a lot from my past because of the pain and just wanted to bury it and forget it happened. Those things have a way of resurfacing, and it helped me to become a more honest, well-rounded songwriter instead of a topical one. There are some political leanings on “Nailed to the Letter” that have to do with right-wing conservative politicians, which is so cliché. But coming from someone who believes in the Lord and can’t relate to one word they say, it puts me back into the “I don’t belong anywhere” category… I am not down with blind hatred and when a movement becomes more important than human beings.

For many of us who have followed The Hanover Saints for several years, we have witnessed an evolution of sorts, from a “Christian punk” band to a band that has members who are Christian but play to the masses and not just to the converted, so to speak. Please explain what led you personally and the band to this decision?

It’s never been a conscious decision per se. I think it’s easy for anyone to label what they are passionate about, whether it’s straight edge, or Rasta, or whatever it may be. I just felt like our actions and music spoke for themselves.

I have never denied my faith and have had record offers pulled from the table because of what I believe, but I didn’t grow up in the church, and honestly still don’t fit in most so-called churches. I honestly believe with every ounce of my being that the American church is so tied up in the political power agenda that it misses everything Jesus said.

But to get back on point, I hate labels. With my life and my struggles, and believe me I am a troubled human being, I need peace in my life otherwise I flip out. But I have never wanted to alienate a person who doesn’t “believe”…

All I ever wanted to do is just write real songs and maybe I am longwinded, but I’m super passionate about songwriting, and it’s a gift that I don’t take for granted. I am hoping one day I can sing better though [laughs].

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

It is a gift, but at some point wasn’t there a decision to be made about playing with certain bands and on certain bills that made you aware of the labels that people on all sides of the coin want to place on you?

All I ever wanted to do is play music, as far back as I can remember, and when I discovered punk in late 1984/early 1985 and picked up a guitar, I never worried about what people thought. Not till I got into my mid-20s when Hanover Saints started did I see these labels define a scene. I have always played wherever to whomever, and if these certain people want to label me, so be it. I heard people’s rhetoric from stage and then I would be hanging out with them later and helping them or they would be helping us, so sometimes the whole idea of it just seems to blur the lines, and it comes from both sides. But, being misconstrued from both sides has never stopped me. I am a really caring person inside, and the thought of someone not liking us for playing with this band or that band could eat you up inside by trying to figure it out.

Music is supposed to be creative, freeing, uplifting and life-changing, and if someone is worried about what I do and where I play and who I hang out with, they are missing the best part about music. I just finally recently found a huge amount of peace knowing I am never going to fit in and it’s OK.

How has being a father changed your music, your attitude, and your desire to continue to make punk rock?

Being a father has made me a better person.

More patient, more forgiving, but also making music since my son was born has made me way more focused just on the fact that he comes first and all else comes later. He is a great kid.

He loves me playing music and we play tunes together. It’s a part of our family. I have to be wiser about money, but we all love punk in this house. He loves everything from Madball to Kepi Ghoulie, from Youth of Today to The Clash. He likes what he likes. I remember one day a CD ejected from the car, and it turned to classic rock.

It was Skynyrd, and he said, “Dad put on some real rock ‘n’ roll, this sucks.” So I said “Give me a second, I am trying to put another CD in,” but he has no time for what he doesn’t like. But he loves all the music I play. He is my biggest fan and punk will be around forever in this household.

Regarding the future, you have a new EP, Bitter Pills, coming out this month on Revolution Ink records.

We have our first release since our record Murdertown. I am releasing it on my label, Revolution Ink Records, digitally and on CD, and a

local label Pleasant Screams Cassettes is doing a limited run on cassette. Hopefully we’ll have it on vinyl early next year. Money has been super tight, and we don’t play a lot, so basically we had $500 to record our EP and I am pressing it. The rest of our money has gone to rehearsal space rent. So we are excited to get back and playing live and writing even more songs.

The new songs seem to reflect a more soulful singing style. The songs still have the aggression of Murdertown but seem to have a more Iggy and the Stooges vibe in spots. What do you credit with your growth as a singer and as a songwriter?

I always feel uncomfortable singing, but I have always had this pent-up aggression within me. I just wanted to capture that with more soulful melody, but that’s always just hanging on the edge where at any moment it can just fall apart.

During this session, which was five hours of vocals, I literally was grabbing the wall and just shaking and taking myself out. I found this spot where I trusted myself with being on the edge of it falling apart. But I think since the hiatus I have written about 40 songs in various styles, like Motown, straight folk almost Pete Seeger, Woody Guthrie style, to Creedence sounding tunes. What I was realizing was how much of a music lover I

am, and how much different stuff I listen to from Joy Division, 4 skins, Swervedriver, to Joan Baez, The Damned, to the Australian band The Saints, so I just felt free to be free and that I had nothing to lose.

If it sucks, it sucks, but I love these songs.

It is just a new chapter for me. I always go into Hanover Saints recordings as the band’s biggest fan. I ask myself would I listen to this and what do I want from us?

Can we expect The Hanover Saints to disappear again after this record or are you guys back for a while?

I hope we are around for a while, but I like not ever knowing. I want it as raw and close to the edge as possible. I am hoping for more time. I don’t think it’s done!

Celebrate the release of The Hanover Saints’ Bitter Pills at The Professional on Dec. 17. Also playing will be Dead to Me, Walking Dead, Bastards of Young and The Flip-offs. The show is all-ages and doors open at 7 p.m. In addition to being an EP release show, The Hanover Saints will also be shooting a video for their song “Nailed to the Letter” during the performance. The video will be directed by another Sacramento punk rock icon, Kevin Seconds.

“I have never denied my faith and have had record offers pulled from the table because of what I believe, but I didn’t grow up in the church, and honestly still don’t fit in most so-called churches. I honestly believe with every ounce of my being that the American church is so tied up in the political power agenda that it misses everything Jesus said.” – Brian Hanover, The Hanover Saints

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or $50 off any larger tattoo All Toys go to charity Issue 74 • December 6 – December 20, 2010

13

No Laughing Matter

Local B-Boy Crew Flexible Flav Teaches a New Generation and Hosts International Competition Words Blake Gillespie

To become a full-fledged member of Sacramento’s legendary Flexible Flav B-Boy Crew, you must learn the ropes from the crew’s elders at the Legendary Steps practices.

The Sol Collective on a Tuesday night threw me off at first—just a couple art folks, sitting around talking in the gallery, none of whom know a B-boy named “Ernesto” but directed me to the B-boys in the back space. I followed the sounds of break beats akin to B-boy acrobatics in the back, to find a few young kids stretching and warming up. Ernesto was not there, but I met Abraham Dunham, aka B-Boy Buckingham, the originator of Flexible Flav.

Dunham has been break dancing since 1997. He and a fellow B-boy called J-Rawk got the idea to start a crew in 1999 when they caught word of a competition. None of the B-boys tell the story without candor; the two simply formed a team, called it Flexible Flav for no particular reason, showed up to the jam and won it. But in the simplicity of the Flexible Flav legend lies a glaring truth: these are B-boys who show up to win. Dunham described the crew’s inception in a matter-of-fact manner, as though the past decade of glory was bound to happen. “Nothing better to do,” he said. “I try my best to be good at it. If you’re black, it’s either rap or dance. I picked the latter.”

Five years later Flexible Flav began competing nationally, winning local breaking jams like the Out for Fame Prelims in 2000, and the Furious Styles Anniversary and Mighty 4 Sacramento in 2001.

In 2005 the crew entered Evolution 1 in Orlando, Fla., which Flex Flav Hall-of-Famer B-Boy Future said jumpstarted their skills, careers, opportunities and national fame. B-boy Future, born Ernesto Abueg III (the mysterious B-boy I sought at Sol Collective), joined Flex Flav in 2002. He’s gone on to be considered a local legend, still winning jams and giving lessons in the art.

After winning Freestyle Session 11 in 2009, Flex Flav considered themselves made men in the international B-boy scene. Some of the crew’s legendary battles are cataloged on the Internet. In my research, I quickly got lost in the plexus of battle footage on YouTube of Flex Flav dismantling its competition with solo and choreographed group stunts that showed innovation beyond the average B-boy’s imagination, which is why Flex Flav made winning its only option.

14

Before Dunham and Larry “B-boy Fatso” Oliver, a former Legendary Steps trainee, began their training, I spoke with Oliver about how the crew did at the jams it attended in Portland, Ore., and Seattle. Future and a visiting B-boy from Italy named Eddy took first place in Portland, but the best the crew did in Seattle was second. “We don’t take too kindly to second,” Oliver said.

Oliver regrettably missed the Portland jam, but for good reason: he got engaged to his girlfriend. Oliver, a member since 2004 (he joined fresh out of high school), is taking the steps to become a core member. “I was at every single competition, every practice and made a name for myself,” he said. “I was just a young 18-year-old kid that was really hungry, and they built me from the ground up.

Now I’m with the big dogs.”

Dunham and Oliver are the elder teachers in the backspace of Sol Collective, instructing seven B-boys of varying degrees of skill.

I watched from a wooden staircase as Oliver mixed in with the Legendary Steps kids, taking his turn to demonstrate the proper arm/foot placement so their feet don’t drag on a windmill. There are two Italian B-boys practicing with the Legendary Steps crew.

They are B-boy Rufy (Mattia Giannattasio) and B-boy Eddy (Edoardo Napoleone), who won in Portland. The Italians have traveled to Sacramento to study under Dunham. “They wanted to come to the United States to learn more about B-boying and train to get better,” Dunham said. “They train really hard and won some jams, so I’m proud of them.”

Oliver added, “Just based off rep, people wanted to be down with us. If you see Michael Jordan playing basketball, you’re going to want to come up to him and ask, ‘What can I do to be as good as you?’ That’s how it starts.”

Currently, the core members of the crew are Dunham, Future and Oliver. I asked Oliver who he considered past legends to be, to which he named five former B-boys who’ve since joined other crews.

B-boy Machine is now in Killafornia Crew. B-boy Ajax is in Rock Force Crew. Oliver called B-boy Foots a Sacramento legend, but said he is “doing his own thing,” whatever that entails. B-boy Morris left for personal reasons, as did B-boy Swells, who’s been friends with Oliver since they were 13. Answering questions via e-mail, Ernesto Abueg included B-boy Marx (Marcus Ramos) to the Hall-of-Fame list.

Issue 74 • December 6 – December 20, 2010

Ramos is Dunham’s close friend who helped build and shape the crew in the early years. “People come and go,” Oliver said. “As long as you have three to four people that are always going to be there, people to look up to, the young guys will know who the real crew members are.”

Even though Flex Flav emerged victorious from its most recent jam, Oliver said the crew’s focus is on cultivating the skills of its Legendary Steps generation. They practiced for over an hour, as sweaty T-shirts began to cling to the breakers and dark stains formed on their backsides from spinning on the dusty gray concrete.

One of the breakers, a pudgy young kid, was getting tips from Dunham to use his deceptive agility and humor to his advantage.

He was encouraged to play up that he might not be able to pull off a handstand freeze by making his arms wobble. The B-boy name “Yogi Bear” was thrown out and stuck as his new persona.

Dunham looked comfortable in his teaching position, moving around the room to put wise suggestions in the pupils’ ears to play to their strengths while encouraging them to expand their repertoire with crafty moves he’s not seen done before, or at least in a while.

“I have more fun teaching than actually battling,” he said (his last battle was in 2008). “I like to help people get better, just hang out, make jokes and teach. You don’t get booed for teaching. I don’t want to be that guy who’s old and still breaking and battling.

I enjoy breaking, but I’d rather pass my knowledge down to the younger guys.”

On the opposite side of the room, Oliver taught a pupil how to space his arms in order to pull off difficult freeze maneuvers that require abdominal strength. Prior to this session, the student was in the corner, pumping through crunches. “At this point we’re more about building our younger generation,” Oliver said. “We want to build them so they can become Flexible Flav as well. We’re in training mode. We’re keeping it low for a while, and then we’ll punch you in the face out of nowhere—win another big jam. It’s military tactics. You have to pick the right spot and hit ‘em really hard.”

The crew is keeping quiet competitively, but on Saturday, Dec. 11, it’s planning a major battle called Sac Hop with a prize that piqued the interest of crews as close as the Bay Area, Los Angeles, Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

Utah and Seattle and as far away as Italy. Slated for Mills Middle School in Rancho Cordova, Sac Hop will feature a one-on-one battle for a $250 cash prize and a three-on-three crew battle for a chance to be flown to Montreal to compete at the Just for Laughs Festival.

“We’re blowing everyone out of the water with this one,” Oliver said. “It’s the first time ever in Northern California that someone is throwing a dance event that will fly the winner out of the United States.”

Given its name, the Just for Laughs Festival might not seem like the ideal destination for a champion B-boy crew, but Oliver assured me, it was a tremendous opportunity. “A lot of people don’t know what it is because it’s in Canada,” he said. “It’s big, though. They block off the whole town. It’s crazy. It’s a week-long festival, it’s Cirque de Soleil stuff, it’s comedians, it’s dancing, it’s all kinds of arts. Anybody that knows what’s up in the entertainment industry knows about the Just for Laughs festival.

“It’s invite only. If you go you’re battling people from France.

You’re battling people from New York. It’s the cream of the crop. It’s not your average battle.”

The first 32 crews to enter Sac Hop will be eligible to compete for the tickets to Canada. Oliver said he’s already expecting Moon Patrol, Fraggle Rock Crew, Misguided Steps, Angels of Death crew, Living Dead Army and Boogie Brats. “I know this sounds like a bunch of crazy random names,” he said. “These people are legit in the scene.”

To prevent concerns of Flex Flav bias, none of the crew will compete in Sac Hop. Oliver was quick to dispel the slightest suggestion by reading off the list of judges that ranged from crews in Atlanta, Utah and Fresno, Calif. “The closest crew is Fresno,” he said. “We’re keeping it 100 percent legit. There’s no excuse for anyone not to come, since there’s no way it’s rigged to benefit us.”

“I have more fun teaching than actually battling. I like to help people get better, just hang out, make jokes and teach. You don’t get booed for teaching.

I don’t want to be that guy who’s old and still breaking and battling. I enjoy breaking, but I’d rather pass my knowledge down to the younger guys.”

– Abraham “B-Boy Buckingham” Dunham, Flexible Flav B-Boy Crew

Sac Hop will take place at Mills Middle School in Rancho Cordova on Dec. 11. Tickets are $10 in advance and $12 at the door. The event is all-ages and doors will open at 1 p.m., with battles scheduled to start at 2. For more information, such as ticketing, vending or sponsorship inquiries, please contact thebridgeworldwide@gmail.com.

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Issue 74 • December 6 – December 20, 2010

15

Microphone Fiend

Indie MC Eligh battles back from the depths of addiction Words Josh Fernandez

If you hadn’t heard from Eligh in a while, it’s because he was on the verge of death.

Dramatic? Yeah, but it’s true. Eligh was unwittingly killing himself.

By the time he reached his early 20s, Eligh (born Eli Nachowitz) was already a world-renowned MC, rocking shows across the globe. But he slowly began to slip into the shadows of his crew, the Living Legends, the group of likeminded artists that he eventually came to know as family. At shows, he slurred his words and wouldn’t make eye contact with the crowd. As his crewmembers, such as Grouch and Luckyiam, began to experience a certain Zen derived from independent hip-hop success, Eligh took to wandering the streets of Los Angeles in search of booze, weed, pills and, eventually, heroin.

Eligh, once a fiend for the hip-hop life and culture, deteriorated into a straightup junkie, set to end his existence like Alice in Chains’ Layne Staley—talented, sick, destitute and alone.

But unlike many who find themselves walking the cracked path of heroin addiction, Eligh searched within himself to find a way out. He found safety in Narcotics Anonymous meetings, and with a sturdy dedication to recovery, Eligh in November released Grey Crow—his first solo album since 2003. The album, full of Eligh’s mindful production (which strays from hip-hop to new wave, ska and rock), has climbed steadily up the iTunes hip-hop charts. With his trademark rhymes (that sped-up baritone flow), a cast of Legends crewmates, plus help from other artists (K-Flay, Pigeon John, Brother Ali and Marty James), Grey Crow has become more than just an album. It’s Eligh’s welcome back, his rebirth and his awakening.

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Issue 74 • December 6 – December 20, 2010

Let’s talk about your addiction to heroin. What was the extent?

I drank and smoked weed when I was a teenager, did all the hallucinogenic mushrooms, acid—all that shit. And then I started fucking with ecstasy. I think I was like 20. And then it just went downhill from there. [When I discovered] Vicodin, I found the one for me.

Opiates were my downfall. I went from Vicodin to China White within a year.

What did that do to your relationships?

My family—my mom in particular—knew something was wrong. They knew I was fucked up, but they didn’t know that I moved to heroin.

I didn’t tell anybody. But they could tell that something was very wrong with me. When I was going to see my mom in Arizona she would tell me I was jaundiced. My skin was yellow. I was skinny as fuck. I was dying.

My mom has serious back and neck issues, and she takes Vicodin as prescribed. She would come visit, and I would literally empty her bottle and fill it up with Excedrin and send her home.

And she caught me. She was so upset—a mixture of being worried and disbelief. That was like the last time my mom yelled at me like I was 7. And I was 23 at the time.

When you’re in your active addiction, I was thinking, “I’m not hurting anyone but me.

I’m the one doing this to myself. What are you fucking worried about?”

That’s the self-centered thinking we have when we get caught up. Needless to say, when I got clean, people were just so happy and proud. Now, it’s not just a personal thing. I feel like I have more purpose than ever, especially considering the age of people listening to me. A lot of them have no idea about recovery. It’s an amazing thing.

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

I’ve been sober for about as long as you. But my drug was crystal.

Oh, really? So we’re on the opposite spectrum, but on the same level.

Yup, a similar, horrible, realm. I imagine you’re more creative now.

Creatively, getting clean just opened me up— took the fog away. I could really see what I was doing when I’m doing it—and doing shit when I’m high and going, “Ah, that’s tight,” and the next day when I wake up I’m like, “What the fuck was I thinking?”

But at the same time, when I listen to my old stuff, I remember exactly where I was, exactly what I felt, and it still makes sense, because it’s still me. I just had a mask over my face.

You must hold your breath a little bit when an album comes out, huh?

Oh, hell yeah. I’ve never been more anxious than this one, because this one’s very personal. It’s like that with every project. I’m standing on the tip of my toes waiting to hear what people think. But on this one it was extra.

I wasn’t nervous. I was anxious. Since it was literally me and one other guy, officially, how well it does is up to everybody else. I don’t have a machine working behind me.

“When I got clean, people were just so happy and proud. Now, it’s not just a personal thing. I feel like I have more purpose than ever, especially considering the age of people listening to me. A lot of them have no idea about recovery. It’s an amazing thing.”

– Eligh

So what about Living Legends?

Those are all my brothers. We’ve known each other for 15 years. We lived together for a couple years, all of us, in one warehouse. Those types of experiences don’t ever go away. Everybody has grown up more. Everybody lives in different places—a few of us in Los Angeles; Grouch, in Maui; Murs, back in Arizona; Aesop, in Fresno; and Bicasso, up in the Bay. Living Legends have always been a crew of guys who have their own personal careers and own solo endeavors. The hardest thing is getting us all together in one place to do an album. And that’s all in the back of our heads. All of us want to get together to make that happen. Is that going to happen? I don’t know. I’m going out with Grouch in December, and I’ll be doing a solo set for the first time without a hype man.

It will be a whole new fear that I’ll be working through.

I was going to ask you about that.

Yeah, dude, I had planned to bring somebody with me, but Grouch said as far as room in the van, you probably shouldn’t bring anybody else.

And I’m like, fuck it. I have a 30-minute set. I’m going to do this shit by myself.

You know, 10 years ago, when I was on some crazy drugs, I went to a Living Legends show, and you came off the stage and said, “What’s up,” to me. It sounds small, but when you recognized me as human—even though I didn’t feel that way—it helped me out.

Thank you, man. That’s awesome. I was probably in a fucked up state, too.

Yes, we were probably both high as shit.

Yup.

How the Grouch Stole Christmas Tour, featuring The Grouch, Brother Ali, Eligh and Los Rakas will come to Sacramento on Tuesday, Dec. 14 at 8 p.m. at Tropicana (1696 Arden Way).

Tickets are $22. All ages. For more information, visit www.themashup.net.

SubmergeMag.com

Issue 74 • December 6 – December 20, 2010

17

Slap a bow on it!

The 2010 Submerge Holiday Gift Guide

By Submerge Staff

T

he holidays are right around the corner, and you know what that means: it’s time to shop! Oh holiday shopping; for some, it’s a fun occasion, even joyous. For others, “torturous” might be a better word.

If you fall into the latter category, then you’ve come to the right place. Welcome to the 2010 Submerge Holiday Gift Guide, your source for all sorts of great local buys this season. We went around to some of our favorite places in town and hand selected these items to show you that holiday shopping doesn’t have to suck. In fact, if you try to spend your money locally in shops like these on items this cool and unique, we’re pretty sure you’ll shift over into that first category and be having fun whilst hacking down your shopping list in no time.

Remember, keep it local and tell ‘em Submerge sent you.

Girls love hair accessories; especially ones that add a pop of color, some pizzazz and are locally designed and created. Aerisk by Nancy Wong. $12 and $18, available at Sugar Shack.

For men, watches are a symbol of their sensibilities.

Bright and architectural, the

Daytimer by Will Alsop for Alessi is a fine symbol and great gift for that special guy, with a bit of flare and style. $120, available in orange, purple, green or black, at Lumens.

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Issue 74 • December 6 – December 20, 2010

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

where good people drink good brews...

•Gourmet eats • Belgian

17

Beers

on tap

A nice, clean hookah is a must-have for any man-cave or college student’s home. $79.99, available at The Outer Limits.

These locally handmade pillows are great for a funky snuggle pillow, or a dudely accent to any man-lair. $26 each, available at Spanglish Arte.

1

st

Place

Winner

3pm to 6pm

Warmth & Sound. Adorable knitted

headphones by Late to the Revolution are a trifecta of headphones, earmuffs and headband; and vegan. $35, available at Never Felt Better Vegan Shop.

SubmergeMag.com

Issue 74 • December 6 – December 20, 2010

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Invite your favorite artist to get their feet wet in “mural arts” with a few cans of MTN paint in various colors with several different spray caps. This handmade paint is from Spain. $6.90 to $7.70 for various spray paint colors and types; large caps 3 for $1, small caps 6 for $1, available at Artifacts.

Intricate locally handmade leather flower bracelets are perfect for an eclectic gal, or your little sister. $14 each, available at Spanglish Arte.

Everybody loves electronic accessories! Local performing artist David Garibaldi has joined up with Lux Mobile to create a line of iPhone and iPad cases featuring his signature painting style. Give a smart case: Einstein iPhone 3G/3GS & iPhone 4. $24.99, available at Best Buy.

All the Smoking AcceSSorieS You need!

thAnkS for voting uS BeSt Smoke Shop

the outer limitS Gift & smoke sHop Waterpipes • Vaporizers Glass pipes • HookaHs t-sHirts • Hoodies zippos & liGHters rollinG papers • detoxify

incense • Grinders JeWelry • adult dVd’s

2540 COTTAGE WAY ( 9 1 6 ) 4 8 9 - 4 5 7 5 MON-SAT 10AM-9PM | SUN 11AM-8PM S A C R A M E N T O 20

Issue 74 • December 6 – December 20, 2010

1st place

Best head shop Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

For those interested in the decorative arts, or just like conversation pieces, this

Get your favorite lady an auxiliary cord installation to her car’s factory stereo and you’ll be able to plug your iPod or iPhone in for some killer car-ride jams. No more bad chick music when you’re driving. $160 for iS77 by iSimple at Audio Express (some cases may require an antenna installation, $15).

giant vintage lighter (circa 1960) is the perfect gift. $36, available at Fringe.

(Functioning, lighter fluid needed.)

People like the instant gratification of using received gifts as soon as possible. A recycled flattened bottle plate/tray is perfect for holiday festivities for cheese, nuts, fruit and crackers.

Plus it’s just a great piece. Any entertainer, younger and less young, would adore this gem. By Bottlehood, $24, available at Fringe.

SubmergeMag.com

Some like it knitted. Great tube neck scarves are simple, soft, warm and adorned with winter forestry-chic buttons. Vegan and by Late to the Revolution. $35 at Never Felt Better Vegan Shop.

Issue 74 • December 6 – December 20, 2010

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Super-soft locally screen printed scarves are great gifts for boys and girls and coincidently are cruelty-free. Various colors and prints by Zen Threads, $18 each, at Never Felt Better Vegan Shop.

Fragrances make great gifts, if you’ve got the guts to be bold.

Generally fragrance is a good gift for those you know very well.

Observe what type of fragrance normally worn (sweet, warm, fresh, floral, musky, light, rich), and there will be a similar, but exquisite fragrance by Tokyomilk. The smell of satisfaction: Dead Sexy and Honey & the Moon are two deliciously enticing scents. $29, available at Fringe.

Get this year’s hottest video game, Call of Duty: Black Ops, for less than you would at any big box store. Other places are selling it for $59.99 but Dimple Records has it for $54.99, available for PS3, XBOX 360 and Wii at all Dimple locations.

Got a bunch of vinyl records that you want to convert to MP3s? The Numark PT-01 USB is the most conveinent way to digitize your vinyl. It’s rugged, it’s portable (can run off batteries and has an external speaker) and it’s affordable. $120, available from Phono Select.

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Issue 74 • December 6 – December 20, 2010

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

The holidays are the worst time to be a lone wolf. That’s why this “Lone Wolf” necklace by Obey is a rad, urban, woodsy gift for independent dudes and ladies. $29, available at Artifacts.

This calla lily hair comb is handmade from cornhusks and a lovely, mature version of those sparkly flower pins college girls wore five years ago. And they reduce the waste of cornhusks. $14 each, various colors and flowers, at Spanglish Arte.

Got a Prop. 215 patient on your list who has a green thumb? Hook them up with some literature they'll be sure to actually read and appreciate.

Marijuana Horticulture: The Indoor/Outdoor Medical Growers Bible, $24.95, and the High Times 2011 Ultimate Grow Calendar, $13.99, are a perfect match. Find them at The Outer Limits.

SubmergeMag.com

Issue 74 • December 6 – December 20, 2010

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Tiki mugs from Tiki Farm are a fantastic addition to anyone’s kitchen (at home or at the office).

Collectable, usable and cute as heck, what more could you ask for? $15 to $25, available at Swanberg’s.

CAROLS & CANDLES Add your voice to the sound of the season in Midtown Sacramento!

SUNDAY DEC. 19th @ Mulvaneyʼs B&L Restaurant 19th St. & L St. Sacramento @ 3:00 pm

church for the rest of us! www.L19community.com

For those crafty peeps on your shopping list, a boring, runof-the-mill gift just won’t do, so hook them up with some locally created art goods like these “Love Guns” ($20

by local artist Regina Geremia) or these “Hako’s” ($5 each by local artist Cinder). Available at the ZuhG

each

R U YO AD 3 E 0 R 8 3 HE6) 441-

Life Store in the Westfield Downtown Plaza Mall.

com . g a gem

(9f1o@submer in

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Issue 74 • December 6 – December 20, 2010

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

There is no accessory that sticks closer to a man than his wallet. They get touched, used, showed and stuffed in pockets often. A wallet needs to be soft but sturdy, serious but stylish. If your dude needs a wallet, you’ll be setting him up proper with this keyboard stamped leather wallet

by Qwerty. $44 at Ladybug Ladybug.

Nothing says, “I’m stylin,’” like a nice pair of shades! It might be cold and rainy right now, but when the sun pops out, you’ll be ready with these hip Ray-Bans. $139, available at Swanberg’s.

Shiny, fine jewelry is great, but even better when its got an attitude.

Heads up pennies, a pink gem-encrusted clover and a gun? Sure, why not? This locally handmade necklace is a great splurge gift for an edgy lady, with fine taste. By Lucky 7. $135, available at Fringe.

SubmergeMag.com

Issue 74 • December 6 – December 20, 2010

25

An Arbor of Love

Cake’s Showroom of Compassion feels for you Words Adam Saake | photo Robert Knight

L

ongevity in the music industry has long been an admirable quality when we discuss a band and their merits. Not every musician can be Bob Dylan and few bands can be The Rolling Stones, who just won’t seem to go away. Flashes in the pan are the vast majority and that’s if you’re lucky. At least you have some good stories of what it was like, and maybe, if you had a catchy single, an immortal slot on the alternative radio rotation. The rock star talent that Sacramento has produced (yes, I’m listing them again)— Deftones, Tesla, Jackie Greene and even Far who managed a comeback—have all had pretty steady careers throughout the years. They all continue to put out records, tour on a regular basis and find support in a market that perpetually seems on the verge of collapse.

Nobody buys music anymore, right? Cake’s John McCrea has his fingers crossed that that’s not the case.

“Hopefully there’s a few people left that think it’s OK to buy an album at this point,” quips McCrea.

With the upcoming release of their sixth studio album, Showroom of Compassion, slated to hit stores in mid-January, Cake has found a place that the band can find comfort in. Not because after 20 years of being a band they’re set for life, but because they’ve continued to push forward and do what’s right for them; major label support or not.

“Because of the instability of the music business, we had to reinvent what we wanted to do,” says McCrea. “We were able to extricate ourselves from the record label and start our own label.”

Part of this new venture was taking their time recording and engineering the new record, which they did entirely themselves in their Midtown studio.

“We took an old house and hollowed it out and put in microphones and solar panels on the roof,” says McCrea.

Showroom of Compassion, which was a “100-percent solar-powered recording process,” is Cake sounding as good as they ever have.

They’ve always been a no-bullshit kind of band that hardly entertains with bells and whistles. Well, unless it’s actual bells and whistles or rattles or keyboards or whatever else the band deems lo-fi enough to make the cut. Songs on the new record are typical of their sound: minimal yet sonically engrossing with lyrics that leave you pondering their meaning. The grit is there, as always, but knowing how much time and personal attention went in to the songs makes the album seem so much more special.

McCrea joined Submerge via telephone from his home in Oakland, where he lives while the band isn’t recording in Sacramento.

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Issue 74 • December 6 – December 20, 2010

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

Your press release says that you and the band had much more to do with the recording and engineering of the new record. What was the best thing that came out of that experience, besides a great new record?

I think it took forever doing it that way.

We’ve always produced our own albums ourselves, which takes a long time. But also, we’ve increasingly been turning the knobs ourselves. I think we might be getting better at producing, which is hopefully the case.

The best thing to come out of it is a sense of ownership and a sense of responsibility for what we’ve done. We don’t feel like anyone’s handed us anything. We never have. Even when we went to studios we were very hands-on. I guess early on we didn’t find people who really understood what we wanted to do, because what we wanted to do was very antithetical to what was going on at the time in the mid-‘90s when there was a lot of grunge. The production values were very bombastic.

It seems like not a lot of people would want to take a chance with that because if they felt it wasn’t going to be successful then they wouldn’t touch it.

Certainly that was the case with record companies but also with producers. We didn’t know of a producer that was doing anything similar to what we wanted to do. In other words, no one was crazy enough to make stuff sound dinky. You know, during a period when everything was sounding very grandiose. We really thought that in a country like the United States, how rebellious is it to sound “big?” How subversive is creating the aural equivalent of deforestation? In a lot of ways it seemed like business as usual. So we thought, in the United States, to turn the volume down would probably be more scary and more subversive than turning it up. Not to say that all music that’s loud is bad; it’s just that we were tired of it at that point. It seemed like people were getting louder and louder. We freaked people out by turning the volume down. People used to yell at us to turn it up.

I see that you, Vincent [DiFiore] and Xan [McCurdy] all played keyboard or synthesizer on Showroom of Compassion. Was it very intentional to incorporate more of that sound into the songs?

Um…well I did allow something on this album that I hadn’t allowed ever before, which was acoustic piano. I always avoided it, because I thought it sounded too classy for us. There’s something really classy about acoustic piano, and I thought that’s not what we’re really about. But with this album, I found this old junker up in Portland [Ore.] and shipped it down here. I think it sounds crappy enough to be on our album, and it doesn’t sound like the good life or anything. As far as the other keyboards, the Nord and other stuff, we used quite a bit of keyboard on Pressure Chief— actually more, maybe, than this album. But certainly we used more keyboard on this album than we did on, say, our first album or our second album.

Over the past two-and-a-half years of writing the record, really taking your time, have you discovered that you like a slower pace of writing?

It wasn’t the writing that took a long time, it was the recording process that took a long time. We reconfigured our studio and put solar panels on the roof. We also did the same thing with reinventing our business from the ground up. We had to set up channels of distribution.

We had to ask ourselves, what’s going to work now? Certainly we realized that the major-label music business structure wasn’t right for us. For one thing, it’s too expensive. If a really good percentage of people have decided that recorded music should be free, it’s no longer sustainable to have a bunch of record company suits eating out every night on our dime. We wanted to get ourselves away from that. I think we had to re-evaluate and take some time off to think and decide how we wanted to do it and whether there were still enough people to support us. The sales for recorded music have declined precipitously in the last 10 years. We wanted to economize and make sure that we could still pay our bills. By having our own record label, it helped quite a bit. Five or 10 years from now, who knows? There might be a whole different system. It would be nice if there was a different system—a way for musicians to have health insurance.

You’re an outspoken guy when it comes to issues that are important to you, yet your lyrics don’t seem too over the top. Is there a method to your madness when you sit down to write lyrics?

I don’t really sit down to write lyrics. I’m sort of writing lyrics all the time. I’ve had this notebook in my back pocket since I was a kid. I just sort of take notes about things that I find interesting or disturbing or upsetting. Then eventually I sit down and put all these little pieces of paper into songs and that’s my process. I wouldn’t say there’s that much singular intentionality to it. I think it’s a lot of different agendas I have. I do try not to be overly obvious with the songwriting.

I describe the way things feel or smell or look rather than telling people exactly what I think. I think also there’s something to be said for a song being somewhat multi-purpose. For instance the song “Sick of You” I think can be looked at more specifically to be about a relationship between two people and it can also, I think, in a broader way be about general societal mood nowadays.

“I did allow something on this album that I hadn’t allowed ever before, which was acoustic piano. I always avoided it, because I thought it sounded too classy for us.”

– John McCrea, Cake When did the whole idea of giving away trees at your shows, the Cake Forest, begin and what prompted that?

I planted a tree in Sacramento in front of one of my apartments where I lived a long time ago. I put it in the median between the sidewalk and the street. It was about as tall as my chest, I imagine. Things happened in my life, I moved away and the band started doing well, and I started being away from home all the time. I forgot about the tree.

Years passed and I went back to it and, oh my god, it was way up there. It’s a profound physical reiteration of the passage of time.

That’s really what trees are all about. And I just thought; wow this was a great experience that I had. Being able to plant a tree and come back years later to see what was going on with it. I thought, everybody should have that experience.

Everybody should try to plant at least one tree in their whole life. As the tree gets bigger and stronger, you get older and die. I thought, wow we could make a deal with people that if we give them the tree they have to send photographs of themselves standing next to the trees and keep us posted on how the tree’s doing. Even if it dies, people are supposed to send us a photograph and we put it up on our site.

Have you gotten a lot flack for using Cake’s website as a place to educate and discuss the global and local issues that are important to you and the band?

Oh yeah. It’s almost not even worth it to say anything on our website anymore. People just freak out! I feel like some people must be paid operatives from the Heritage Foundation or something. Just freaking out. I think they want to shut us down. I don’t find websites of bands very interesting. I think it’s kind of unhealthy just to focus only on the people and the band. I think it’s better to talk about subjects. Our music is about subjects, and I feel like we shouldn’t be barred from discussing subjects on our website.

Cake’s Showroom of Compassion will be in stores Jan. 11, 2011. If you do still buy albums, this will be a good one for you to get. If you’d like to sign up for Cake’s e-mail newsletter, go to www. cakemusic.com/news and click the link on the top left of the page.

You guys have been known to play secret shows here and there. I know there’s been a few at the Blue Lamp, Old Ironsides and I remember some at the old Capitol Garage too. Is that something that you do for the Sacramento fans? Is it to warm up a new live set before you hit bigger venues? Both?

Yeah, it serves both purposes. It’s hard to figure out what you want to do live without actually playing live. It’s also a thank you to Sacramento for supporting us all these years. And it’s also for our listeners who have signed our mailing list, because without a record company we really depend on the direct connection to our listeners.

If it’s the only way for people to find out about those shows by signing the mailing list, then I think it’s a good incentive. It’s a good way for us to stay in touch with people and a good reason for people to want us to stay in touch with them.

Photo Teppei

SubmergeMag.com

Issue 74 • December 6 – December 20, 2010

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904 15th Street 443.2797

Dec. 6 – 20

Between I & J • Downtown Sacramento

m usic

December TUES

7

WED

8

ThUrS

9

FrI

10

Kate gaffney 5:30PM

the DiPPin’ Sauce 9PM acouStic oPen Mic w/ MaDalyn May 5:30PM

JiMMy Pailer

9PM X trio 5:30PM

harley white Jr.

featuring aaron King 8PM JiMMy Pailer w/ lew fratiS 5PM

SolSa 9PM

Johnny guitar KnoX 5PM

SaT

11 SUn

12

TUES

chriS cain

9PM BlueS JaM 4PM

MinD X 8PM hanS eBerBach 5:30PM

14

lew fratiS trio 9PM

WED

acouStic oPen Mic w/ Ken Burnett 5:30PM

15

ThUrS

16 FrI

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golDen caDillacS 9PM Xtrio 5:30PM

harley white Jr.

featuring aaron King 8PM JiMMy Pailer w/ lew fratiS 5PM

ac MyleS

9PM Johnny guitar KnoX 5PM

SaT

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MinD X

12.06 12.08 Monday

Wednesday

Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Fox & Goose Open Mic Night, 7:30 p.m.

G St Pub Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Harlow’s The Gracious Few, 8 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Karaoke, 9 p.m.

UC Davis: Jackson Hall Mariachi Los Camperos de Nati Cano, 11 a.m.

Bisla’s Open Mic, 9 p.m.

Blackwater Cafe Open Mic, 7 p.m.

Club Car The Double Shots, 7:30 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Fox & Goose Steve McLane, 8 p.m.

G St Pub DJ Larry the Flower Vato, 10 p.m.

Harlow’s Kim Wilson’s Blues All Stars, 8 p.m.

Luigi’s Fun Garden Uni & Her Ukelele, Yule Logs, Freebadge Seranders, 8 p.m.

Marilyn’s Thom Yeoman, 9 p.m.

Mix DJ Gabe Xavier, 9 p.m.

Naked Lounge Downtown Live Garage Jazz Architects, Nice Rug, Chopstick, 8:30 p.m.

Old Ironsides Open Mic w/ host Lare Crawley, Campfire Crooners, 8:30 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Amberglance, The Only Men, Political Plum, Sunny D, 9 p.m.

Press Club Fuel the Change, Get Shot!, The Lemmies, 9 p.m.

Shady Lady Straight, No Chaser w/ CrookOne, 10 p.m.

Torch Club Acoustic Open Mic w/ Madalyn May, 5:30 p.m.; Jimmy Pailer, 9 p.m.

12.07 Tuesday

The Boardwalk Tomorrows Bad Seeds, Josh Fischel, Kat, ZuhG, Element Of Soul, 8 p.m.

Capitol Garage Open Jazz Session, 9 p.m.

Delta of Venus Kenny Eng, Isaac Cheong, Rob Deez, 7:30 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Fox & Goose Traditional Irish Jam Session, 7 p.m.

G St Pub Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Marilyn’s Wires and Wood, 8 p.m.

Old Ironsides Lipstick w/ DJs Shaun Slaghter, Roger Carpio, 9 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub DJs Rigatony, Alazzawi, 9 p.m.

Press Club 321 Comic w/ music from The Babs Johnson Gang, 2 or 3 Guys; Stand-up from Keith Lowell Jensen, Mike O’Connell, 9 p.m.

Shady Lady Chub City w/ the Flower Vato, 10 p.m.

T2 Nightclub & Lounge Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Torch Club Kate Gaffney, 5:30 p.m.; The Dippin’ Sauce, 9 p.m.

Townhouse Grimey w/ NTRLD, Man Machine, ISELF, DJ Whores, DJ JayTwo, MC Skurge, MC Bru Lei, 9 p.m.

cD releaSe Show 9PM SUn

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BlueS JaM 4PM

flo 8PM

torchclub.net 28

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Issue 74 • December 6 – December 20, 2010

12.09 thursday

Barcode Nightclub & Lounge DJ Wreck, DJ BTRIXX, 9 p.m.

The Blue Lamp Mars Attacks (Austria), Vintage Vandels, 9 p.m.

The Boardwalk Hugo Stiglitz, Silence of the Grimm, Backflip!, Belmont, Victory or Death, 7 p.m.

Capitol City Hotel Karaoke, 8:30 p.m.

Club Car Songwriters Showcase, 8 p.m.

The Coffee Garden Open Mic Night, 8 p.m.

The Fire Escape Bar and Grill Buffalo!Buffalo!, Listen For The Silence, 6 p.m.

Fox & Goose The Rich Driver Band, Adrian West, 8 p.m.

G St Pub DJ Somebody, 10 p.m.

Golden Bear Shaun Slaughter, 10 p.m.

Harlow’s Chaya (CD release show), 7:30 p.m.; Feva & the Funkhouse, 10 p.m.

John Natsoulas Gallery The Blank Tapes, Mad Cow String Band, Miss Lonely Hearts, 8 p.m.

Marilyn’s Rock On Live Band Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Mix DJ Ron Reeser, DJ Slick D, DJ Dan Saenz, 9 p.m.

Naked Lounge Downtown Live JD Valerio, Gerard Fragmino, Earl Brooks, 8:30 p.m.

Old Ironsides Richard March, Alex Nelson, Sherman Baker, 9 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Stealing Angels, Courtney Lynn & Big Trouble, 9:30 p.m.

Press Club I Scream On Sundae, Thaw Jack Frost, Jimmy Mazerik, 9 p.m.

Torch Club X Trio, 5:30 p.m.; Harley White Jr. feat. Aaron King, 8 p.m.

UC Davis: Jackson Hall Kronos Quartet, 8 p.m.

Vega’s Blues Jam, 7 p.m.

12.10 Friday

The Blue Lamp Alpha Children (Album Release/Farewell Show) Death Valley High, Metal Whale, Groundskeeper, 9 p.m.

The Boardwalk Early States, Amberglance, Wesley Avery, 7:30 p.m.

use a qr scanner on your smart phone to view calendar online

Capitol Garage Get Down to the Champion Sound w/ DJ ESEF & Selector KDK, 10 p.m.

Crest Theatre Alternative Press Presents: Family Force Five, Forever The Sickest Kids, 7 p.m.

The Fire Escape Bar and Grill HellHound, West Coast Fury, Tear Down The Sky, 9 p.m.

The Firehouse (West Sac) Advent Statim, The Reel, Crimson Sky, Fate Under Fire, 7 p.m.

Fox & Goose The Zoo Human Project, Carly DuHain, A.J. Johnson, 9 p.m.

Golden Bear Crucial Fix w/ CrookOne (Decibel Devils/ Team Sleep), 10 p.m.

Harlow’s The Afterparty, The Hits, 9 p.m.

Luigi’s Fun Garden Speed of Sound in Seawater, Duck Little Brother Duck, So Stressed, 8 p.m.

Marilyn’s An evening with Jackie Green, 9 p.m.

Mix DJ Jus James, 9 p.m.

Old Ironsides Velvet Underground Tribute Show, 9 p.m.

The Park Ultra Lounge Rock’n’Rhyme: Nick Willrich, Justin Barnes, DJ Matt Cali, DJ Billy Lane, 9 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Notorious, 10 p.m.

Press Club Top 40 ‘80s & ‘90s w/ guest DJs, 9 p.m.

Ruggles Warehouse Sojourner, Wreck, Lowlands, In Desperation, 6 p.m.

Shakers Pub Neutral Boy, Lessons In Failure, Murderland, Hybrid Creeps, 9 p.m.

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T2 Nightclub & Lounge DJs & Dancing, 9 p.m.

Torch Club Jimmy Pailer w/ Lew Fratis, 5 p.m.; Solsa, 9 p.m.

Townhouse Fuck Fridays w/ DJs Shaun Slaughter, Jon Droll, Roger Carpio, 9 p.m.

12.11 Saturday

The Blue Lamp La Noche Oscura, F.L.O., O Street Dub, 9 p.m.

Bicycle Kitchen Lite Brite, Flounder, 9 p.m.

The Boardwalk Young Dizzy, Dre-Beats, E-Reese, 8 p.m.

Cache Creek Casino Y&T, 8 p.m.

Capitol City Hotel Karaoke, 8:30 p.m.

Club 916 Agent Orange, Left Hand, Scowndrolls, Take Pride, Aberzombies, American Habit, Bloodhook, No Comply, Fistful of Freaks, 3 p.m.

Club Retro Nightscape, 6 p.m.

SubmergeMag.com

The Fire Escape Bar and Grill Hoods Fest: Hoods, Beg for Life, Havenside, Maya Over Eyes, Crucified, Give Em Hell, Hammerfist, Out for Revenge, Heartless Nightlife, Domination, 4 p.m.; Hoods Fest After Party: Malcontent, Murderlicious, Black Mackerel, 10 p.m.

Fox & Goose Lost Angeles, 9 p.m.

G St Pub DJ Charlie, 10 p.m.

The Global Cafe Adrian Bourgeois, 7:30 p.m.

Golden Bear Sweaty w/ DJ Whores, 10 p.m.

Harlow’s Midnight Players, 10 p.m.

Luna’s Cafe Flamenco Del Oro, Gopal Slavonic, Maggie Boyce, 8:30 p.m.

Marilyn’s Bob Woods Band (CD Release), Kate Gaffney, 7:30 p.m.

Mix Dance Party w/ DJ Larry Rodriguez Old Ironsides FASCINATION: ‘80s new wave dance club, 9:30 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Because (Beatles tribute), 10 p.m.

Press Club Top 40 ‘80s & ‘90s w/ guest DJs, 9 p.m.

The Shack (Davis) The Greening, The Men Upstairs, 8 p.m.

Splash Bar Soft Opening w/ DJ Nate D, DJ Dan Saenz, DJ Mike Oso, 10 p.m.

T2 Nightclub & Lounge DJs & Dancing, 9 p.m.

Torch Club Johnny Guitar Knox, 5 p.m.; Chris Cain, 9 p.m.

12.12 Sunday

Arco Arena The Judds, 7:30 p.m.

Barcode Nightclub & Lounge The Asylum w/ DJ Bryan Hawk, KJ Groth, DJ Darkstar, 9 p.m.

Beatnik Studios Musical Charis, 5 p.m.

The Blue Lamp Voodoo Glow Skulls, The Snobs, Sex Rat, 8 p.m.

The Boardwalk (hed) p.e., Big B, Moonshine Bandits, Stepchild, Damage Over Time, Ill Effect, 7 p.m.

Cache Creek Casino Yaya Ying, 6 p.m.

Crest Theatre Posada Navidena, 2 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 8 p.m.

The Fire Escape Bar and Grill I Wish We Were Robots, Casket of Cassandra, Nightmare in the Twilight, Thea Skotia, 6 p.m.

Golden Bear Industry Night, 7 p.m.

Harlow’s Bachata Lessons, 6 p.m.; Salsa Lessons, 7 p.m.

Mix DJ Billy Lane, 9 p.m.

On The Y You Be the Rockstar Karaoke w/ Larissa, 8 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Lukas Nelson and The Promise of the Real, 3 p.m.

Press Club Sunday Night Soul Party w/ DJ Larry Rodriguez, DJ Hailey, 9 p.m.

Torch Club Blues Jam, 4 p.m.; Mind X, 8 p.m.

UC Davis: Vanderhoef Studio Theatre Lara Downes Family Concert, 1 p.m. & 3 p.m.

12.13 Monday

Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Fox & Goose Open Mic Night, 7:30 p.m.

G St Pub Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Press Club Breaking Glass, The Hot Break, Ventura, 9 p.m.

Issue 74 • December 6 – December 20, 2010

29

12.14 12.16

Barber Blues Open 7 days a week tues-fri 9am–7pm // sat-Mon 9am–5pm

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RESTaURaNT & NIghT clUB THURSDAY DEC 16 10PM

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COMING SOON dec 30 Pinback dec 31 nye w/ utz & the shuttlecocks

Jan 2 the slackers Jan 8 the cheeseballs Jan 13 anthony b FRIDAY DEC 17 10PM Jan 15 bump city Full Blown Stone Jan 15 hip service Psychedelic/rock/reggae Jan 17 orgone w/ Zuhg SATURDAY DEC 18 10PM Jan 18 Makaha sons Goapele Jan 21 david lindley Jan 22 ra ra riot Jan 27 deerhoof Feb 10 Moustache harbor TUESDAY DEC 21 7:30PM Feb 11 a.l.o. (animal FRIDAY DEC 17 7:30PM

TESSA EVANS

ALL stArs

with tess & hiP trash THURSDAY DEC 9 7:30PM early show

chaya CD RELEASE THURSDAY DEC 9 10PM late show

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30

Issue 74 • December 6 – December 20, 2010

Tuesday

Thursday

Capitol Garage Open Jazz Session, 9 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Fox & Goose Traditional Irish Jam Session, 7 p.m.

G St Pub Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Harlow’s Soulive, 10 p.m.

Marilyn’s Acoustic Karaoke and Open Mic, 9 p.m.

Old Ironsides Lipstick w/ DJs Shaun Slaghter, Roger Carpio, 9 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub DJs Rigatony, Alazzawi, 9 p.m.

Press Club Anthony Coleman, The Afterlife, The Ventriloquists, 9 p.m.

Shady Lady Chub City w/ the Flower Vato, 10 p.m.

T2 Nightclub & Lounge Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Torch Club Hans Eberbach, 5:30 p.m.; Lew Fratis Trio, 9 p.m.

Tropicana How the Grouch Stole Christmas w/ The Grouch, Brother Ali, Eligh, Los Rakas, 7 p.m.

Barcode Nightclub & Lounge DJ Wreck, DJ BTRIXX, 9 p.m.

Capitol City Hotel Karaoke, 8:30 p.m.

Club Car Songwriters Showcase, 8 p.m.

The Coffee Garden Open Mic Night, 8 p.m.

Delta of Venus Ian McFeron, 8:30 p.m.

The Fire Escape Bar and Grill Noisepsalm, Instagon, nStep Jayne, 6 p.m.

Fox & Goose Poetic Justis, 8 p.m.

G St Pub DJ Somebody, 10 p.m.

Golden Bear Shaun Slaughter, 10 p.m.

Harlow’s Aaron Young, 10 p.m.

Mix DJ Ron Reeser, DJ Slick D, DJ Dan Saenz, 9 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Brodie Stewart Band, 9:30 p.m.

Press Club Vomit, Keloid, Drawing of 3, 9 p.m.

Torch Club X Trio, 5:30 p.m.; Harley White Jr. feat. Aaron King, 8 p.m.

Vega’s Blues Jam, 7 p.m.

12.15 12.17 Wednesday

Bisla’s Open Mic, 9 p.m.

Blackwater Cafe Open Mic, 7 p.m.

Club Car The Double Shots, 7:30 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Fox & Goose Traditional Irish Jam Session, 7 p.m.

G St Pub DJ Larry the Flower Vato, 10 p.m.

Marilyn’s Dennis Johnson, Mississippi Ramblers, 7:30 p.m.

Mix DJ Gabe Xavier, 9 p.m.

Old Ironsides Open Mic w/ host Lare Crawley, Earl Brooks, 8:30 p.m.

Plea for Peace Center (Stockton) Reach, Hollor From Within, In Desperation, Belmont, 6 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Jason Diaz, Twitch Angry, In Deep, The New Slave, 9 p.m.

Press Club HUMP w/ DJ Whores, 9 p.m.

The Radisson Dave Koz & Friends, 7:30 p.m.

Shady Lady Straight, No Chaser w/ CrookOne, 10 p.m.

Torch Club Acoustic Open Mic w/ Ken Burnett, 5:30 p.m.; Golden Cadillacs, 9 p.m.

FRIDAY The Blue Lamp Bright Faces, Jet Black Popes, 50 Watt Heavy, 9 p.m.

The Boardwalk Jeffree Star, Dev, It Boys, Human Temperament, 7:30 p.m.

Capitol Garage Get Down to the Champion Sound w/ DJ ESEF & Selector KDK, 10 p.m.

The Fire Escape Bar and Grill Billy Connally, March Into Paris, Cesura, 9 p.m.

Fox & Goose The Inversions, Be Brave Bold Robot, Chris 2Me, 9 p.m.

Golden Bear Crucial Fix w/ CrookOne (Decibel Devils/ Team Sleep), 10 p.m.

Harlow’s Tessa Evans, 7:30 p.m.; Full Blown Stone, 10 p.m.

Luigi’s Fun Garden Life in 24 Frames, 8 p.m.

Marilyn’s The Nibblers, 9 p.m.

Mix DJ Jus James, 9 p.m.

Onyx Club NRG Fridays w/ DJ A1, 9 p.m.

The Park Ultra Lounge DJ Billy Lane, 9 p.m.

Plea for Peace Center (Stockton) Emily’s Army, Boats!, The Bogarts, Blackout 101, The Croissants, 7 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Cheeseballs, 10 p.m.

Press Club Top 40 ‘80s & ‘90s w/ guest DJs, 9 p.m.

Professional Hanover Saints (CD Release), Dead to Me, Bastards of Young, Walking Dead, Flip Offs, 7 p.m.

Red Hawk Casino Audioboxx, 9 p.m.

The Refuge Toy Drive w/ The Kelps, Blue Oaks, Adrian Bourgeois, Ricky Berger, Sherman Baker, Adam Thompson, Alyssa Cox, Joshua Chacon, Incoming Rush, 6 p.m.

T2 Nightclub & Lounge DJs & Dancing, 9 p.m.

Torch Club Jimmy Pailer w/ Lew Fratis, 5 p.m.; AC Myles, 9 p.m.

Townhouse Fuck Fridays w/ DJs Shaun Slaughter, Jon Droll, Roger Carpio, 9 p.m.

Verge Gallery The Four Eyes 11th Annual Xmas show (3 hours of covers), Dec. 17, 7 p.m.

12.18 Saturday

The Blue Lamp San Similar, 9 p.m.

Cache Creek Casino Tommy Castro Band, 7:30 p.m.

Capitol City Hotel Karaoke, 8:30 p.m.

Club 21 Risque Nites 2010 Finale w/ New Humans, DJs Mike Diamond, Sex & Weight, My Cousin Vinny, 10 p.m.

The Fire Escape Bar and Grill Trackfighter, Allinaday, The Wreck_age, Victims of Delight, 9 p.m.

Fox & Goose Liani Moore and Friends, 9 p.m.

G St Pub DJ Charlie, 10 p.m.

Golden Bear Sweaty w/ DJ Whores, 10 p.m.

Harlow’s Goapele, 10 p.m.

Laughs Unlimited Two Tone Steiny, 4 p.m.

Luigi’s Fun Garden Agent Ribbons (CD Release), So Much Fun, Dog Party, Monster Women, 8 p.m.

Luna’s Cafe Christopher Fairman (Farewell Show), The Stenographers, David Houston, 8 p.m.

Marilyn’s 4th Annual Bad Santa Costume Party, 9 p.m.

Mix Dance Party w/ DJ Larry Rodriguez Naked Lounge Downtown Live Blackout 101, The Bogarts, The Meantime, 8:30 p.m.

Old Ironsides Baby Grand, Knock Knock, The Four Eyes, 9 p.m.

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SubmergeMag.com

Issue 74 • December 6 – December 20, 2010

31

88

Acoustically Designed

Private Music Rehearsal Studios

com e dy & m i s c e l l a n eou s Ca l e n da r

From

The Park Ultra Lounge DJ Peeti V, 9 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Atomic Punks, 10 p.m.

Press Club Top 40 ‘80s & ‘90s w/ guest DJs, 9 p.m.

Red Hawk Casino Audioboxx, 9 p.m.

T2 Nightclub & Lounge DJs & Dancing, 9 p.m.

Torch Club Johnny Guitar Knox, 5 p.m.; Mind X (CD Release), 9 p.m.

Townhouse Black Radio w/ La Corde, 9 p.m.

UC Davis: Jackson Hall American Bach Soloists , 7:30 p.m.

220 Square Feet To 500 Square Feet

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12.19 Sunday

Barcode Nightclub & Lounge The Asylum w/ DJ Bryan Hawk, KJ Groth, DJ Darkstar, 9 p.m.

The Blue Lamp Reggae Bashment w/ DJ Wokstar!, 9:30 p.m.

Cache Creek Casino Francisco Manuel, 5 p.m.

Club Retro Grenade Jumper (CD Release) Crimson Sky, Body Electric, Street Light Fire, Wings Of Innocence, Serenade the Radio, 6 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 8 p.m.

The Fire Escape Bar and Grill The Scowndrolls, Fist Full of Freaks, The Carbonites, Hit Reset - GunDown, 6 p.m.

Golden Bear Industry Night, 7 p.m.

Harlow’s Bachata Lessons, 6 p.m.; Salsa Lessons, 7 p.m.

Mix DJ Billy Lane, 9 p.m.

On The Y You Be the Rockstar Karaoke w/ Larissa, 8 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Sac Blues Revue, 3 p.m.

Press Club Sunday Night Soul Party w/ DJ Larry Rodriguez, DJ Hailey, 9 p.m.

Ruggles Warehouse Hardside, Soul Search Torch Club Blues Jam, 4 p.m.; FLO, 8 p.m.

12.20 monday

Crocker Art Museum Chelsea Wolfe, 6 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m.

32

Issue 74 • December 6 – December 20, 2010

Fox & Goose Open Mic Night, 7:30 p.m.

G St Pub Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Press Club Savior, Diciembre Gris, Yes Sir!, 9 p.m.

Comedy Laughs Unlimited Open Mic Showcase, Dec. 7, 8 p.m.

Don Barnhart Comedy Hypnosis Show, Dec. 8 & 12, 8 p.m.

Don Barnhart, Murray Valeriano, Dec. 9 - 11, Thursday, 8 p.m.; Friday, Saturday, 8 p.m. & 10:30 p.m.

Brian Duncleman, Chris Karney, Dec. 16 - 19, Thursday, 8 p.m.; Friday, Saturday, 8 p.m. & 10:30 p.m.; Sunday, 7 p.m.

Luna’s Cafe Keith Lowell Jensen’s Wednesday Night Comedy, Dec. 8 & 15 , 8 p.m.

Punchline Comedy Club Cockyasians Comedy Tour, Dec. 8, 8 p.m.

Dat Phan, Dec. 9 - 12, Thursday & Sunday, 8 p.m.; Friday & Saturday, 8 p.m. & 10 p.m.

Mike E. Winfield and Friends!, Dec. 15, 8 p.m.

Dennis Gaxiola, Dec. 16 - 19, Thursday & Sunday, 8 p.m.; Friday & Saturday, 8 p.m. & 10 p.m.

Sacramento Comedy Sportz Mayhem!, every Thursday, 9 p.m.

ComedySportz, every Friday & Saturday, 8 p.m.

Sacramento Comedy Spot Dec. 7, Hailey’s Ho Down, 8 p.m.

Dec. 8 & 15, Improv 1 Continuous, 7 p.m.; Harold Night, 9 p.m.

Dec. 9 & 16, Improv 1 Continuous, 7 p.m.; Cage Match, 9 p.m.

Dec. 10, In Your Facebook, 8 p.m.; Stand Up Shoot Out, 9 p.m.

Dec. 11, Worlds Worst Doctor, 7 p.m.; Lady Business, 8 p.m.; Anti Cooperation League, 9 p.m.

Dec. 12, Open Mic Scramble, 7 p.m.

Dec. 17, In Your Facebook, 8 p.m.; Dirty Standup Show, 9 p.m.

Dec. 18, Spotlight Improv Showcase, 8 p.m.; Anti Cooperation League, 9 p.m.; High Vs Drunk Improv, 11 p.m.

Dec. 19, Open Mic Scramble, 7 p.m.

Tommy T’s Christopher Titus, Dec. 9 - 12, Thursday & Sunday, 8 p.m.; Friday & Saturday, 8 p.m. & 10 p.m.

Debi Gutierrez, Dec. 16 - 19, Thursday & Sunday, 8 p.m.; Friday & Saturday, 8 p.m. & 10 p.m.

Misc.

16th and J Streets Midtown Bazaar, Saturdays, 7 a.m.

ARCO Arena The Radio City Christmas Spectacular Starring the Rockettes, Dec. 15, 4 p.m. & 7 p.m.

Beatnik Studios 2nd Annual Beatnik Craft Faire, Dec. 12, 11:30 a.m.

Bisla's Pub Quiz Trivia, Mondays, 7 p.m.

Bistro 33 (Davis) Pub Quiz, Mondays, 9 p.m.; Poetry Night, Every 1st Wednesday, 9 p.m.

Cal Expo: Miller Lite Grandstand Live Harness Racing, Fridays, 6:20 p.m.; Saturdays, 5:30 p.m.

Capitol Garage Trivia & Movie Night, Mondays, 9:30 p.m.

Fox & Goose Pub Quiz, Tuesdays, 7 p.m.

It's All Yoga Free Yoga Class, Fridays, 4:30 p.m.

Luna's Cafe Joe Montoya's Poetry Unplugged, Thursdays, 8 p.m.

Phono Select Records Asbestos Press Poster Show, Dec. 11, 6 p.m.

Scottish Rite Center Sac-Con Comic, Toy & Anime Convention, Dec. 12, 10 a.m.

Townhouse Record Club Movie Night & Lounge, every Wednesday, 7:30 p.m.

Verge Gallery MidMoMovieNight presents food and beer related short films, Dec. 16, 7:30 p.m.

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

b a r

o r

e a t e r y ,

submerge can be found

Album Spotlight

ev e ry w h e r e

your target customer is.

Be sure to

2011

make room i n y o u r marketing budget

us help you

targe t a n

Now That You’re Back…

Agent Ribbons Chateau Crone Antenna Farm

Words James Barone

for submerge and let

reach your mark e tw i t h

affordable

&ef fective a d v e r t i S i n g

c a M p a i g n .

916.441.3803 {call}

info@submergemag.com {e-mail} Sacramento’s Agent Ribbons may have left the River City for Austin, Texas, but they’re no doubt still in the hearts and minds of many area music fans. And why shouldn’t they be? Frontwoman Natalie Ribbons and drummer Lauren Hess are nothing if not two crafty musicians and songwriters. Drawing mainly from a limited palette of drums, guitar and voice, the duo creates songs that say so much more than their surface simplicity.

Chateau Crone is the group’s long-awaited sophomore album for Oakland’s Antenna Farm Records. The album took a year to record. Over that time, the group worked with a host of engineers such as Manny Nieto (Breeders and others) in Los Angeles, Scott McChane at The Hangar in Sacramento, Chazz Bessette at his home studio in Austin and even Mark Wolberg, who helped record the album’s penultimate track, “Rubik’s Cube,” during a blizzard in Lincoln, Neb., according to the liner notes. Was it worth the wait and hard work? Well, long story short: Yes. Yes it was.

The album starts off with the serpentine riff of “I’m Alright,” one of Chateau Crone’s most stripped-down offerings. Handclaps and Hess’s crisp drumming create a smooth backbeat for Natalie’s crunchy guitar and smoky voice. While this is a track to turn heads, it’s not necessarily indicative of what is to follow. “Grey Gardens” and “Dada Girlfriend” (the eerie video for which was directed by Sacramento’s own Chelsea Wolfe), are swooning, psychedelic tracks with wonderful contributions from now ex-third Ribbons, violinist Naomi Cherie. Her violin work haunts many tracks on the album, adding an ethereal quality to its straightforward pop song structures.

These songs are remarkably uncluttered SubmergeMag.com

and clearly focused. Accordion, Theremin and assorted other instruments make cameos, but what really holds true is the songwriting and Natalie’s lyrics. Chateau Crone hits its stride with “Born to Sing Sad Songs.” A soulful track in which Natalie becomes meta-critical about her own craft. She sings, “I was born to sing sad songs/That go on for more than three minutes long/And I feel another coming on/Now that you’re gone.” Fittingly, the track clocks in at exactly four minutes—as if it was planned that way. She muses, “I’d be pleasantly surprised/ If for once I could write a happy love song/That doesn’t make people cry.” Though the music takes many twists and turns, this sense of loss permeates much of the album. This quirky tale of love gone wrong is followed up by the far punchier, if not equally sorrowful, “Wallpaper of Skin.” Choppy violins help launch distorted guitars and pounding drums to a beautiful crescendo as Natalie’s lyrics take a delightfully cryptic turn—tinsel tangled in innards, dirty ivory divination—as she questions, “But you think you know what it’s all about?”

What it’s all about may be irrelevant. In a note about the album, Agent Ribbons writes, “Chateau Crone will be an escape for the world’s unforgiving disdain for batty, aging crones…”

Perhaps there’s some arcane concept at work here. It wouldn’t be a stretch for a group that seems to pride itself on its decidedly skewed take on pop music. What really matters is that this is a tight 10-song collection of sometimessurreal psychedelic vocal Agent Ribbons will pop. Good things do perform CD Release come to those who wait. shows at Luigi’s Fun Garden on Dec. 18 and at Shady Lady on Dec. 22

Issue 74 • December 6 – December 20, 2010

33

\

tuESday

dEC 14

Soulive

Harlow’s 2708 J sT. sacTo 21 & oveR 8:00pm

nigel hall

(from lettuce) thurSday

P inback

dEC 30

Jp, inc.

Harlow’s 2708 J sT. sacTo 21 & oveR 8:00pm

(formerly Pleaseasaur)

The slackeRs

Harlow’s • 2708 J st. • saCto • 21 & over • 8:00pm

oRgone zuhg

Harlow’s • 2708 J st. • saCto • 21 & over • 8:00pm

Ra Ra RioT

Givers • PePPer rabbit

Harlow’s • 2708 J st. • saCto • 21 & over • 9:00pm

DeerHoof

Sunday

Jan 2

monday

Jan 17

Saturday

Jan 22

thurSday

neRvous cop (feat. ZacH Hill anD GreG saunier) Jan Harlow’s • 2708 J st. • saCto • 21 & over • 10:00pm

The aggRoliTes

blue lamp • 1400 alHambra blvd. • saCto • 21 & over • 9:00pm

27

Saturday

FEB 4

Saturday

alo (animal libeRaTion oRchesTRa) FEB Harlow’s • 2708 J st. • saCto • 21 & over • 9:00pm

19

The coRonas

tuESday

(from irelanD)

blue lamp • 1400 alHambra blvd. • saCto • 21 & over • 8:00pm

The concReTes

blue lamp • 1400 alHambra blvd. • saCto • 21 & over • 9:00pm

abstract entertainment 34

FEB 22

thurSday

mar 3

TickeTs available aT: The beaT (17Th & J sT.), Dimple RecoRDs oR online aT www.evenTbRiTe.com oR www.tickets.com • tickets for Harlow’s sHows also available aT www.haRlows.com

Issue 74 • December 6 – December 20, 2010

the shallow end You Are the Weakest Leak James Barone jb@submergemag.com So this Australian dude published hundreds of thousands of U.S. diplomatic cables on his website WikiLeaks last week. More than 250,000 classified dispatches to U.S. embassies around the world revealed the United States’ positions on numerous world leaders, instructions to diplomats to spy on UN leaders and calls from Saudi Arabia for U.S. air strikes on Iran. Is it me, or is Saudi Arabia somehow involved every time some country pulls a dick move? Anyway, from what I can tell, this means two things: more egg on the face of the United States, who just seemed to regain a little respect once the last asshole was replaced as president; and also, a whole lot of reading.

That’s a lot of “cables” to pore through.

When I first read the term “cables,” I immediately thought of an old man reading the feed from a telegraph machine. “President of Pakistan is a complete douchebag. Stop.” You know, something like that.

I haven’t been to the WikiLeaks website. Mostly because I don’t want my IP address to get flagged, or wake up one morning to find a “surprise” cache of child pornography on my hard drive and vanloads of feds at my door. I mean, it’s a free country, so that couldn’t happen, right?

I’m not a character in The Bourne Identity. I’m not that good-looking.

I figured the best course of action was to just get a rundown on the WikiLeaks debacle by perusing real news sites and seeing what they had to say about it. Should be easy enough. If these cables were so damaging, the Internet should be abuzz with facts and punditry. But my first cursory search only revealed that WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange was in deep shit—and not just for posting U.S. government secrets on his fancy blog.

Apparently, he’s under suspicion for raping a couple of Swedish women—just like the last time he took a leak on the Internet.

That’s a bit of an exaggeration. He supposedly raped one of them and only molested the other, but serial rapist is so much more exciting.

Currently, Assange’s whereabouts are

unknown, but the most recent article I could find at the time of this writing on Reuters mentioned that he’s likely in the United Kingdom “but [British authorities] have refrained so far from acting on an international warrant for his arrest, a British newspaper said on Thursday [Dec. 2].” Earlier in the same week, Interpol (not that Interpol) issued a “red alert” to authorities to aid in Assange’s arrest.

He is wanted under suspicion of sexual crimes, but no charges have been filed at this time.

The alleged incident took place in August 2010 when Assange was visiting in Sweden, and he, of course, denies the allegations.

I don’t subscribe to conspiracy theories. I didn’t like the man, but I don’t think President Bush was behind the 9/11 terrorist attacks, or that he knew about them in advance. I have a hard time believing Mr. Bush “knows” anything, but that’s another matter. And yes, I saw Loose Change, and yes, I did think it was fucked up.

But it still wasn’t enough to make me barricade myself in an attic wearing a tinfoil hat.

However, am I the only one who finds the timing of this Interpol arrest warrant a little convenient? It doesn’t exactly take WikiLeaks out of the headlines, but it does deflect the focus of the reporting a little bit. If this isn’t merely coincidence (and what a coincidence!), I have to say rape charges are the way to go. Even murder—at times—can be rationalized. You could say, “Oh, but it was self defense,” or, “He slept with my wife, and I just snapped.” These murders may still be crimes, but fair-minded people could say, “Well, he was pushed to the breaking point. Who knows how any of us would react to that?” You can’t really go that way with rape. You can’t say, “Well, I raped her for her own good,” or, “There was no way to defend myself other than to rape her.” You could, I guess, but you wouldn’t find many sympathetic ears—except from other rapists.

Assange’s arrest warrant nabbed the top spot on Google News Wednesday, Dec. 1 as of this writing with upward of 4,000 related articles. Good thing for Assange (and the United States) that no one’s actually going to take the time to read all that.

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

SubmergeMag.com

Issue 74 • December 6 – December 20, 2010

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Dive into Sacramento & its Surrounding Areas

December 6 – 20, 2010

#74 Holiday Gift Guide

Dudely accents for any man-lair and more!

Flexible Flav B-Boy Crew Masters and Pupils

Natalie Portman in Black Swan Raw Food Revolution Inside Agent Ribbons’ Chateau Crone

The Hanover Saints

A Place to Call Home

Eligh Road to Recovery

free

Cake A Touch of Class