Submerge Magazine: Issue 152 (December 23, 2013 - January 6, 2014) by Submerge Magazine

Dive into Sacramento & its Surrounding Areas december 23, 2013 – January 6, 2014

•

#152

free

Two Gallants & G. Green Teach Harlow’s How to Love Again

Submerge’s

Top 30

Albums of 2013 New Year’s Eve 14Hotspots! Michael O’Connell laughing at you

The speed of sound in seawater

On the Verge

the flaming lips fire still burns bright

chef robert irvine Restaurant Superhero

The Best Movies of 2013!!!...Sort of...

NEON NITE Thursday, January 9 5 — 9 PM Glass on the Grid

Art Mix lights up the night with electric eclectic fun • Live music by ZuhG • Neon-clad aerialists • Psychedelic lightscapes by abstract light artist John Sonderegger • Neon face painting by Whimsy Body Art • Glass & sculptural works by local artists, on view in Glass on the Grid • Art Mix Featured Artist Lily Moon • Drink specials under $5 all night

#artmix

crockerartmuseum.org

Issue 152 • December 23, 2013 – January 6, 2014

ZuhG

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

152 contents

Submerge: an independently owned entertainment/lifestyle publication available for free biweekly throughout the greater Sacramento area.

14 12

cofounder/ Editor in Chief/Art Director

Melissa Welliver melissa@submergemag.com cofounder/ Advertising Director

Jonathan Carabba jonathan@submergemag.com senior editor

James Barone Assistant Editor

Mandy Pearson

20 Contributing Writers

Zach Ahern, Joe Atkins, Robin Bacior, Andrew Bell, Corey Bloom, Bocephus Chigger, Alia Cruz, Brooke Dreyer, Josh Fernandez, Lovelle Harris, Niki Kangas, Nur Kausar, John Phillips, Ryan J. Prado, Andrew Scoggins, Amy Serna, Jacob Sprecher, Jenn Walker Contributing photographers

Wesley Davis, Phill Mamula, Liz Simpson, Nicholas Wray

Submergemag.com Follow us on Twitter! @SubmergeMag

SubmergeMag.com

2013 2014

03 04

december 23 – january 6 Dive in

The Stream

Submerge your senses

11 12 14 18

The Optimistic Pessimist

20 22 24 28

the flaming lips

LIve << rewind

Submerge

2308 J Street, Suite F Sacramento, Calif. 95816

916.441.3803 info@submergemag.com

printed on recycled paper

front Cover Photo of the speed of sound in seawater by phill mamula

michael o’Connell chef robert irvine The Speed of Sound in Seawater

submerge’s top 30 of 2013 calendar the grindhouse

best movies of 2013, sort of... Two Gallants, G. Green the shallow end All content is property of Submerge and may not be reproduced without permission. Submerge is both owned and published by Submerge Media. All opinions expressed throughout Submerge are those of the author and do not necessarily mean we all share those opinions. Feel free to take a copy or two for free, but please don’t remove our papers or throw them away. Submerge welcomes letters of all kinds, whether they are full of love or hate. We want to know what is on your mind, so feel free to contact us via snail mail at 2308 J Street, Suite F Sacramento, Calif. 95816. Or you can e-mail us at info@submergemag.com. back Cover Photo of the flaming lips by George Salisbury

dive in Ring Out the Old. Ring in the New. Melissa welliver melissa@submergemag.com 2013 was a pretty damn solid year, especially when it came to new music. So for our annual year-end best-of list, we bumped it up to our top 30 albums instead of just 20 like we’ve done in previous years. Check it out for yourself on page 22. While you may agree or disagree with some of our top albums that made the cut, there’s no denying that it’s a well-rounded list. Our top 30 features local and national albums compiled by about a dozen Submerge contributors, each with their own thoughts and tastes in music. We did our best to figure out an order based on how many people chose the same albums and how they ranked them, then we came up with our final list that you see in this issue. I have to say, I love lists, whether I agree with them or not. It’s someone’s opinion. Sometimes you agree and a lot of times you might disagree and think to yourself, “What the fuck were they thinking?” But the real beauty of lists, I believe, is to go above and beyond the initial agreeing/disagreeing, and to come up with your own bests, your own lists. Or better yet, maybe that best-of list that frustrated you simply helps you discover something new, something you’ve never heard of. So, here goes some of the things that, to me, were the best in 2013:

MELISSA’S BEST THINGS OF 2013 THERE ARE QUITE A FEW TIES, DEAL WITH IT.

Best local show(s) i went to: What?! Triple tie?!

Best sacramento festival I witnessed: Tie!

K Sera (Album Release), The Speed of Sound In Seawater, Wrings, The New Limb Jan. 10 • Midtown Barfly

Launch @ Cesar Chavez Park

!!! (Chk Chk Chk), Exquisite Corps, Paper Pistols, Sam I Jam May 31 • Concerts in the Park, Cesar Chavez Park 50-Watt Heavy, DLRN, Musical Charis, Gentleman Surfer Oct. 19 • Midtown Arts Festival, MARRS Building Best new local band that I discovered: Cove

Sacramento Electronic Music Festival @ Assembly Best new restaurant/place to grab a brew: Tie! LowBrau The MARRS Building  1050 20th St., Sacramento Tankhouse 1925 J St., Sacramento Best place I like to (still) get a cocktail: Tie! Red Rabbit 2718 J St., Sacramento

Best local brewery i discovered: Berryessa Brewing Co. 27260 California #128, Winters, Calif. Best BEER I DISCOVERED: Duchesse De Bourgogne Best new movie i watched: The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug Best new hobbie: Kayaking local rivers and lakes Best local artist i discovered: Justin Wood Best comedy show i saw this year: Jay Pharoah June 28 @ Punch Line

Best place off the Best touring act to grid i visited: Hook and Ladder hit sacramento: Big Sur, Calif. 1630 S St., Tyler, the Creator w/ Sacramento Earl Sweatshirt May 17 • Overall the best thing that happened this year : Ace of Spades Got married to this publication’s co-founder and my best friend, Jonathan Carabba So you see, 2013 was a good year, and I cannot wait to see what 2014 brings. Oh and speaking of lists, we have a couple others in this issue you should check out: 14 awesome things to do on New Year’s Eve as part of our regular section Submerge Your Senses (page 6); and a hilarious special best-of 2013 edition of our movie column Grindhouse (page 28). Read on. Enjoy issue 152, and Happy New Year. Melissa-Dubs

Issue 152 • December 23, 2013 – January 6, 2014

The stream SACRAMENTO HARDCORE ROCK ‘N’ ROLLERS ALARMS TO PLAY ALBUM RELEASE SHOW JAN. 2 AT THE COLONY

SHINE CAFE IS UNDER NEW OWNERSHIP, WILL CONTINUE TO HOST ALL-AGES SHOWS Jonathan Carabba

Send regional news tips to info@submergemag.com

Straight up, Alarms is a badass band. The Sacramento hardcore rock ‘n’ roll outfit first caught our attention in Summer 2012 when they dropped their debut self-titled EP. With shredding guitar solos, gritty, head-pounding rhythms and a sick vocalist, we were instantly hooked and were jamming their tunes in the Submerge office day in and day out. Now the dudes are readying the physical release of their first full-length, Millipede, on Thursday, Jan. 2 with a show at The Colony that will also feature performances from Portland, Ore.-based hardcore band Raw Nerves along with locals 30.06 and Cura Cochino. Even though Alarms has a new vocalist on this record (their former singer left to pursue a Master’s in creative writing), they still deliver the goods. Any fan of heavy music is advised to check out Alarms, especially if you like your music a little “weird.” According to the band’s press release on their website, Landlockedcollective.com/music/alarms, “We don’t make music for cool people,” former vocalist Jack Hill said of the band. “We play for the fucking weirdos like us...the people who stay up listening to Coast to Coast instead of partying every night. And I feel pretty good about that.” Hit up Alarms.bandcamp.com to hear some tunes before heading out to their all-ages album release show on Jan. 2, which gets underway at 7 p.m. and is just $6.

Issue 152 • December 23, 2013 – January 6, 2014

More than just a coffee shop and café, Shine (located in the Mansion Flats neighborhood at 1400 E Street) has steadily been carving out its own niche in the local music and arts scenes for the last couple years, consistently hosting a variety of all-ages shows featuring both local and touring bands as well as hanging local artists’ work on their walls. They also host comedy shows, poetry readings, the list goes on. It’s the type of place that helps drive the city’s thriving arts and entertainment scenes forward, so you can imagine our concern when we heard from someone on the street recently that Shine had been sold to new owners. “We hope they keep up the love for local art and music,” we told ourselves. Turns out, after a little research and connecting with one of the new owners, 35-year-old Amanda Lawrence, we’ve got nothing to worry about. “Shine remains committed to supporting local art and music,” Lawrence recently told Submerge. “Each month we feature a new visual artist, each Tuesday is Jazz Jam Night, the second and fourth Wednesdays are Poetry Night and Fridays and Saturdays still feature bands.” She even went on to explain that they hope to further expand the genres that they bring in. “We are looking forward to drawing in more culturally diverse music and performances, such as bossa nova and Latin jazz, as well as African dance troops.” Lawrence, who moved to Sacramento from Portland in October, co-owns Shine with her older brother Lance (43) and their friend Tyson Wells (38). “This is our first venture into business ownership, but we each bring varying skills and knowledge from experience working in the coffee and restaurant world,” she said. “We bought Shine because it was overflowing with potential to be a part of the burgeoning ‘eat and drink local’ movement, as well as to serve the Mansion Flats neighborhood as its anchor coffee shop by day and a nice little place to get a drink and catch a show at night.” Since taking over in late November, the crew has added some nice personal touches to the space, including building and installing an awesome new stage for performers that features a background constructed with reclaimed barn wood and funky lighting features. They also upgraded the menu and are now serving Temple Coffee. Their official “grand opening” party will be on Friday, Jan. 10 and will feature live music from As Yet Untitled, Sicfus and POG. That show will be just $5 and will kick off at 8 p.m. As always, all ages are welcome. To learn more about the new Shine and to view their calendar of upcoming events, visit Shinesac.com. To Shine’s old owner, Rena Davonne, we’ll miss seeing you and your awesome, cheery daughter every time we drop off a stack of mags! To the new owners, welcome to the neighborhood and thanks for keeping up the local music and art love! Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

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SubmergeMag.com

Issue 152 • December 23, 2013 – January 6, 2014

Submerge Magazine Nov 25.indd 1

12/3/13 10:33 AM

Hear

14 Awesome Ways to Ring in 2014 • Dec. 31

Your Senses Words Brooke Dreyer & Jonathan Carabba

Downtown and Midtown Sacramento are the best places to be this New Year’s Eve. Tons of giveaways, party favors, complimentary midnight champagne toasts and awesome DJ’s and artists are all available within walking distance! Grab your friends and check out one (or more, if you’re adventurous) of the 14 awesome events listed below.

SEE HEAR TASTE Touch

1 Old

Lipstick and Submerge Mag present: New Year’s Eve at I r o n s i d e s with Contra, plus DJs Shaun Slaughter, Roger Carpio and Adam Jay. 9 p.m., 21-plus, $8 pre-sale.

New Year’s Eve with The Flower Vato and MC Ham at Fox a n d Goos e . 9 p.m., 21-plus, $10.

New Jack Fling at M i d t ow n B a r F ly featuring DJs Crook One, Frank D (of the Deftones), Ben Johnson and Phonographix Video. 9 p.m., 21-plus, $7.

NYE and One Year Anniversary at Low B r au featuring Exquisite Corps and Penguin Prison. Doors open at 8 p.m. for a hosted champagne and salumi bar (ends at 9 p.m.). Tickets are $25, 21-plus.

Have an epic New Year’s at C a p i t o l Ga r ag e w/ DJ playing new hits and party classics, 10 p.m., $5.

Epik

TOUCH

Grimey, Head on High and Trapacana present: New Year’s Eve at P r e ss C l u b featuring DJ Whores, Crescendo and Spire. Hosted by Clyde Moore. 9 p.m., 21-plus, $7.

This year, don’t wait until March to finally switch out that old calendar on your wall! Snag one of Downtown Sacramento Partnership’s brand new 2014 calendars featuring the epic photography of Nicholas Wray, whose name you might recognize from our masthead (he’s shot countless Submerge covers over the years). Each month features a unique photo of a downtown Sacramento location. Trust us, it’s great eye candy and it’ll make you proud to be a Sacramentan! Snag yours for free at one of many downtown locations; for example, Crocker Art Museum (and most other museums downtown as well), Esquire IMAX, the Downtown Ice Skating Rink, Sacramento Convention and Visitors Bureau, numerous hotel locations and plenty of other spots. Visit Downtownsac.org for more info on DSP and Nicholaswray.com for more info on the man behind the lens.

New Year’s Eve Bash with live tunes from

2014 DSP Calendar

Island of Black and White at To r c h C l u b ; 9 p.m., 21-plus, $20.

NYE Metal Show at T h e B oa r d wa l k with Brumal, Valensorow, Symbolik and Graveshadow. Doors open at 7 p.m., all ages, $10 advance, $12 day of show.

Lil

Taste

Hangover Happy Hour at Torch Club on New Year’s Day Jan. 1

It’s kind of funny how on New Year’s Eve, people always say, “Let’s start this year off with a bang,” and on Jan. 1, typically around noon, the only thing people can say is, “.... water...” What happened to all that enthusiasm from the night before? Turn off the DVR and come to Hangover Happy Hour from 2 p.m. to 6 p.m. at Torch Club! Complimentary food with $5 mimosas and bloody marys, all available to enjoy! Oh, and it’s pajama attire. Yes. That’s Right. You can wear your onesies while you enjoy Mexican rice, pozole, menudo and huevos with chorizo and tortillas. Sandra Dolores will be hosting an open mic from 3 to 5:30 p.m. featuring GP Bailey, Swahili Passion, Brittany Vanessa, and Carly DuHain. Free food, $5 drinks, awesome karaoke and pajamas? Now that’s the right way to start off the New Year!

Issue 152 • December 23, 2013 – January 6, 2014

New Year’s Eve with Dirt Nasty at Ac e of S pa d e s . Also performing: Richard the Rockstar, Nasty Martin, Penny, Bit and Taktics. All ages, doors open at 7:30 p.m., tickets are $20. NYE at

District 30

featuring DJ

As-Is. 9 p.m., 21-plus, $25.

A New Year’s Dance Party with Lovefool at Ha r l ow ’ s . Tickets are $25, doors open at 8 p.m., show starts at 10 p.m., 21-plus.

12 New Year’s Eve Party at

A ss e mb ly

featuring

Utz! & The Shuttlecocks.

Doors open at 8 p.m., 21-plus, $30.

Annual New Year’s Bash at P i n e Cov e Tav e r n featuring Karaoke sung by YOU and your homies. 8 p.m., 21-plus, no cover!

Funky New Year’s Party at M a r i ly n ’ s Musical Charis, Big Sticky Mess and 8 p.m., 21-plus, $10 at the door, $5 advance.

on K

with

Ideateam.

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SacAnime 2014! • Jan. 3 - 5 SacAnime isn’t just for dedicated gamers. If you’re having doubts, go ahead and check out the program schedule for yourself! Dance workshops (salsa, tango, waltz and swing); costume and fashion events (masquerade and cosplay contests, Lolita Morning Tea); interactive events (Cafe Hoshi with a maid and butler cafe; a Starlight Ball featuring songs from anime and video games); and a variety of contests (anime music video contests, art contests, karaoke contests and manga contests) are all jam-packed into this three-day event, held from Jan. 3 to 5. The Sacramento Convention Center will be hosting the estimated 10,000 people attending the event! Special guests such as Dante Basco (Rufio from Steven Speilberg’s Hook), Janet Varney from Entourage and The Legend of Korra, and Jen Taylor (the voice of Nintendo’s Princess Peach), will be hosting Q & A sessions daily! Newbs and powergamers can pay their registration fees and check out the event schedule at Sacconventions.com. Come in costume and get ready to pwn!

SubmergeMag.com

Cab ride or DUI. You choose.

444-2222 Issue 152 • December 23, 2013 – January 6, 2014

1000 K street | sacramento (916) 341-0176 | assemblymusichall.com

With special guests

miDnight north (Feat. grahame lesh)

December 27

• 21 & over

the beatKnocKs, cali bear gang, lil bit, Quette DaDDie

December 28

• all ages

and The ShuTTlecockS

December 31

• 21 & over

With special guests

marK noxx, rasar, anD DJ supe

january 4

• 21 & over

January 17

• all ages

january 26

• all ages

Fair Struggle

With special guests

vanishing aFFair, overWatch, grey Dagger anD once an empire

january 9

• all ages

january 10

• all ages

anthony b january 11

• 21 & over

With special guests

With special guest

january 18

• 18 & over

Fine steps

january 24

• 18 & over

la noche osKura, pro manon , DJ Fili sainZ

january 25

• 18 & over

* * * F o r r e n ta l i n F o r m at i o n , p r i vat e pa r t i e s a n D e v e n t s , p l e a s e e m a i l a s s e m b ly m u s i c h a l l @ g m a i l . c o m * * *

Issue 152 • December 23, 2013 – January 6, 2014

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

1000 K street | sacramento (916) 341-0176 | assemblymusichall.com

Abbey RoAd bAnd Featuring:

With special guests

ianc, K-ottic, mK smth, anD aileron

ricKy bell (neW eDition & bell biv Devoe), Dalvin (JoDeci), shaZam (h toWn), With special guest anD rashaaD carlton broDi nicholas

Zeroclient, Korean Fire Drill, With special guest aWoKen shaDoWs, anD conWay snoW White smile

ages november January 30 27 • •allallages

& over ages november January 3129• 21• all

• allages ages november February 30 7 • all

February 22

February 28

all ages ages December February 93 •• all

anD they Went ghost

February 20

• all ages

march 1

• all ages

coming soon

march 2

• all ages

march 5

• all ages

march 11

• all ages

3/13 inFecteD mushroom 4/5 heaDbang For the hWy 6/15 average White banD

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Issue 152 • December 23, 2013 – January 6, 2014

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Issue 152 • December 23, 2013 – January 6, 2014

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

The Optimistic Pessimist Dear Santa, Bocephus Chigger bocephus@submergemag.com

What’s up, big guy? Bocephus here—yes, the one on the naughty list every year. I know we haven’t always seen eye to eye, but there are certainly some things that we can agree on: Run DMC’s “Christmas in Hollis” is the best Christmas song ever; cookies are delicious; milk is intolerable to those of us who lack the enzyme, lactase; and finally, you aren’t really a snowy white guy with a snowy white beard. I’m sorry people don’t believe in your melanin. I’m not really sure when the powers that be turned you into an old white man, but I’m guessing it had something to do with advertising dollars. It probably doesn’t help that Fox News’ Megyn Kelly and Bill O’Reilly are keeping the myth alive in the minds of their gullible viewers. I tried to tell Megyn and Bill that you weren’t real to get them to leave you alone, but they said it was their job at Fox to believe in imaginary things. Crazy, right? I mean, you are from an area that is located in modernday Turkey, for Christ’s sake! My Christmas wish is that people figure it out this time. You’ve been whitewashed for way too long. Of course when people do figure out that you aren’t white, I’m sure they are going to do some crazy things. Megyn Kelly may blind her children so they will never know the truth about you. That idiot from Florida who burns Korans will probably burn a doll dressed in one of your suits. George Zimmerman might even try to shoot you as you come down his chimney. In fact, you might want to put the whole state of Florida on your naughty list, just to be on the safe side. While I’m making apologies, I might as well also say sorry for Black Friday and the gradual creep of the holiday season into mid-summer. You used to have a real sweet gig, Nicky; one day of work in late December and then, boom: Vacation City. I envied you for a long time for that, but now they got you working like a dog. These days the shit-shoveling industry has you hawkin’ TVs the day after Halloween. If that weren’t already bad enough, this year, Black Friday began to envelop Thanksgiving at a lot of stores just to celebrate that most important

facet of the holiday spirit: mindless, bloodthirsty bargain hunting. This year the cops had to pepper-spray some dude in a Wal-Mart to make him stop fighting over a TV. And it’s a good thing you weren’t at the mall in Philly because some lady got tasered by another shopper! I guess that’s why they say there is a war on Christmas, right? Speaking of which, do you have any news from the front? Last I heard, General Blitzen and the Salvation Army had conquered most of the malls in America and set up surrogate Santas for the children to be photographed with. I’m sure he’s seen some serious shit out there. Give him my best. How are the rest of the reindeer? Are Prancer and Dancer still together? I used to see Dasher’s Insurance commercials all the time, but it’s been a while. Is Donner still depressed about his name being associated with cannibals? I heard Vixen and Cupid got out of the porn industry! You must be relieved. I hope Comet has been able to stay off the rock. I always tell him if he doesn’t take it easy, he is going to end up like his buddy, Rudolph. I guess I should apologize for that, too. I had no idea reindeers liked cocaine that much. If I had known, I never would have given it to poor Rudolph. Who would have thought that giving him all that blow would do that to his nose? I’ve never seen anything like it. I swear I never gave him anymore after that and I won’t ever again. At least he is still useful on foggy nights. Well I don’t want to take up too much of your time. I know how busy you are this time of year. Again, on behalf of white people in general and myself specifically, we are sorry for making you white, for making you work all the time, and for turning Rudolph into a coke head. If you can find it in your heart to forgive us and maybe even add us back to the “nice list,” we will promise to be good boys and girls. And if you are feeling extra gracious, I’d love a Fender American Standard Telecaster in tobacco sunburst with a black pick guard. Thanks, Santa! Happy Holidays! Bocephus Chigger

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RoYAl SoUTHeRn

DUSTbowl RevivAl

cHoP ToPS

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2/01 2/07 2/08 2/09 2/10 2/14 2/16 2/23 2/28

Tempest johnny cash Tribute Steelin’ Dan Duncan Sheik Secret chiefs 3 Alo The Duhks Man Man Diego’s Umbrella

3/1 3/2 3/4 3/10 3/15 3/16 3/18 3/23

Issue 152 • December 23, 2013 – January 6, 2014

Zepperella The wild Flowers Typhoon larry & His Flask / Scott H. biram The Tubes Majickat Galactic The weekend

He Who Laughs Last…

Michael O’Connell on Muscular Dystrophy and his Comedy Niche Words Alia Cruz photo Christine Elise

omedian Michael O’Connell has a simple formula for local comedic domination. “I’m not really making fun of myself, I’m really just making fun of you,” he says. The good ol’ reverse last laugh. Michael has been fighting Muscular Dystrophy (MD), a disease that weakens muscular fibers and slows locomotion, most of his life. About four years ago, his symptoms became increasingly worse, and he had to rely on a wheelchair for mobility. After losing his job as an auto claims adjuster, Michael sought a renewed endeavor in comedy. He performed at an open mic, absolutely killed it and felt like his true purpose had been found: To use his disability as the base of his shtick, but to also use the podium to educate. “When that first performance was all done, I just was wondering why I had been missing out on this my entire life,” he says. In the last few years, O’Connell has performed at colleges and universities around the nation, The Laugh Factory in Hollywood, and of course the Comedy Spot and Luna’s Cafe either solo or with one of his comedy troupes. With the help of fellow comedian Keith Lowell Jensen, Michael helped build the wildly popular “Comedians with Disabilities Act” comedy troupe—a group of disabled comedians who travel venues, poking fun not only at their own disabilities but at the people around them who act weird because of their disabilities. “I’ve had people think I’m homeless and throw dollars on my lap because I was just sitting in my wheelchair trying to enjoy the sun and eat a bag of M&Ms!” the soft-spoken comedian says right before indulging me in a stripper joke. Submerge sat down with Michael near the Comedy Spot to talk about the past four years, the present and why we should all just laugh and find the will to find a way.

Can you remember the joke that broke the ice at your very first performance? It was definitely the wheelchair lap dance joke. Sometimes people who work at businesses are a little patronizing to you, like they say, “Is there anything else I can do to help you?” in a really condescending way. And I look up at them and say, “Will you just finish the damn lap dance?” You have MD. What are some of the major symptoms you have? I was diagnosed at 2 years old, and there are a ton of different types of MD. Doctors didn’t expect me to be around longer than 12 years

Issue 152 • December 23, 2013 – January 6, 2014

old and I’m 45 now. It’s a slow progression; I walked regular, then with a cane for a few years before the wheelchair. I have a bad heart, a pacemaker and only about 30-percent lung capacity. Of course it makes stuff I used to do way more difficult. You have a 30 percent lung capacity and a show called Smokes and Jokes? It’s a show where I tell jokes over cigars...and I do smoke cigars. You don’t inhale those, but I realize they’re probably still not that great for you. It’s just the last of my vices that I haven’t given up yet. It’s just my thing and let me have it!

How has MD changed your comedy performances? In the past few years, things have been going downhill pretty quickly and started getting pretty bad. I can’t get out of the house as often or hit open mics like I used to. That sucks because I cannot get out there and connect like I want to, or see all of the amazing new talent I admire from Facebook. I can’t travel, which makes me miss some shows; but I do what I can and try to save my strength for the bigger shows.

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

Tell me about The Comedians with Disabilities Act. The Comedians with Disabilities Act has gone national and was raved about in the SF Examiner recently. A lot of the time they have to perform without me. I’m getting a big surgery soon that will enable me to travel more with them and it has to do with bodily discharge... because I’m that dedicated to comedy. I have learned a lot from them, like what to say and what not to say. On the troupe, we have a little person, a blind man and a woman who stutters. We were on Laugh Factory live on the Playstation network for a while, and our shows usually sell out. Each one of the members are unique and hilarious; there is no other comedy experience like it. How do you want your audience to see you? I have a unique niche in comedy as someone in a wheelchair with big motor skills. I’ve gone through a few different phases of how I want to present myself. I’ve gone through dark humor, which was completely not me. I found a comfortable place in finding humor in the little things I go through and the people who are around me when they happen. My goal is to have people laugh along with me rather than to feel sympathy. How do you poke fun at other people using your disability? Well, people always want to do weird stuff like tie your shoes. I stopped wearing shoes with shoelaces because people would just randomly kneel down and try to tie my shoes. People often think I’m homeless, which is also a little awkward because I’m usually just trying to sit there and enjoy my surroundings. Also, people like to come up to me just to tell me they know someone in a wheelchair; I suppose it’s their attempt to empathize, and I totally see that.

“I’ve gone through a few different phases of how I want to present myself. I’ve gone through dark humor, which was completely not me. I found a comfortable place in finding humor in the little things I go through...” – Michael O’Connell

Does stuff like that ever make you upset? No! Some people are just too darn sensitive. As a disabled person, I know all of that stuff comes from a good place. I may make fun of all those people, but I definitely see where they are coming from and I appreciate it. There are some angry disabled people out there. I just see a lot of stuff as funny. How has your experience been working with the Sacramento comedy scene? Absolutely fantastic. Other cities are just not as funny as Sacramento. I have had amazing mentors and the comedians here are just closeknit and understanding. How was performing at the Laugh Factory? I got to perform in Hollywood for several celebrities in the audience whom I will not name drop here, but I will say that they are awesome. After my performance at the Laugh Factory, Dane Cook was supposed to come on. Instead of staying for that performance, I ended up at a place across the street smoking cigars with these celebrities and bonding. Nights were made. What is the main message of your performance? My MD is getting worse every day. I want people to know that they have a choice. They can focus on the crap or focus on the awesome. If you can’t do certain things anymore, then find a way around the obstacle; For example, I couldn’t use the shower like I used to, so I installed bars. I have problems in my life, but I could choose to let that define my life or not. No one ever found happiness focusing on the bad things, so just laugh and always find a way.

Catch the Comedians with Disabilities Act at the Comedy Spot on Friday, Jan. 10. Tickets are $12 and the show starts at 9 p.m. Visit Saccomedyspot.com/ comedians-with-disabilities-act for more info. O’Connell also hosts The Mikes, featuring four Sacramento comedians named Mike. Check them out at Laughs Unlimited the weekend of March 7 . Keep an eye on Facebook.com/meetthemikes for more details.

Photo Walter Hopkins SubmergeMag.com

Issue 152 • December 23, 2013 – January 6, 2014

Here Comes Santa Chef

Food Network's Tough-Love Host Chef Robert Irivine Talks About the Business of Giving Words Nur Kausar

elebrity Chef Robert Irvine is Santa Claus in a bodybuilder suit. OK, that’s probably stretching it, but Irvine does drop some major surprises on the contestants of his latest reality show Restaurant Express, and quickly wraps up business plans and recipes for struggling eatery owners in Restaurant:Impossible, both on The Food Network. Granted, he does these tasks in a militaristic way, barking orders and slathering truths when it comes down to wilted pieces of lettuce pretending to dress a platter or overpriced, undercooked barbecue menus. Despite his tough love, Irvine’s goal is to empower people through food and fitness. His passion is to lend a helping hand where needed and teach his expertise in restaurant management, biceps and complementary flavors. He’s accomplishing all these not only with his TV shows, but also with a forthcoming book to be released early 2014 on family, food and fitness; a live, national comedy show that talks about fitness and lifestyle in a fun way; a new nutritional snack food; an instant customer feedback technology called Humm Systems; and regular cooking tours for military personnel. Yes, Irvine’s mind does run a thousand miles per hour. That’s why he works out, the 49-year-old British native says. It’s the only thing that really keeps him focused as he races from one end of the country to the other. The reason the running around is worth it? He gets to help thousands of people, including those who are part of a project extremely important to him: Wounded Warriors. “This year, we were able to cook for 122,000 Wounded Warriors,” Irvine says. “We met our goal.” The Wounded Warrior Project (Woundedwarriorproject.org) provides programs and services to severely injured members of the military who are in transition between active duty and civilian life.

Issue 152 • December 23, 2013 – January 6, 2014

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

Irvine also volunteers with Invisible Children, His experiences increased his business an organization that spreads awareness about savvy and his efficiency in putting out children forced to fight in Central Africa’s Lord’s impressive food fast. He now brings those Assistance Army (key name Joseph Kony); the skills to home cooks who want to make it big, Make a Wish Foundation; and 70 to 80 other just like Irvine did. charities annually. “It took a year of putting it together but I His television work reflects his gotta tell you I was so proud of it, so proud of philanthropic personality as well, focusing the show, the challenges, the way we taught on bringing people out of whatever funk is the contestants,” Irvine says of the work causing their restaurants to sink, or whatever behind Restaurant Express. “You went away barriers are holding them back from running learning something in the business. Every one their own kitchen or food venue. of them did.” For example, in a recent holiday Education and life-changing experiences Restaurant:Impossible (R:I) episode, Irvine epitomize Irvine. If you ask him what he’s revamped both a diner and a firehouse in New learned in the last 25 years as a chef, he’ll Jersey that incurred severe damage during tell you it’s to not judge anyone. That’s a hard Superstorm Sandy. task in a field that is rewarded through strict That episode was noticeably dear to taste competitions and high standards. But for Irvine’s heart, because before he got into Irvine, the end game is more about business cooking, his dream was to become a firefighter. success and good food. “I just came out of the [Royal] Navy, but I And he’s not that picky. wasn’t really smart enough for [firefighting] “I don’t really have any favorite foods,” he so I became a cook instead,” he laughs over says. “I like new and exciting. Texture, taste the phone from Albuquerque, N.M., where and color. I love comfort foods like roast he’s getting ready to shoot an episode of R:I. chicken.” “But my dreams have never changed. I joined That sentiment makes sense with his the Navy, and I fought fires in the Navy. two brick-and-mortar restaurants in South Life is about just helping Carolina—Eat! and Nosh. other people.” Both focus on local cuisine, “Life is about The premise of R:I but one brings a unique just helping other is that Irvine enters sophistication while the people.” a struggling business, other amplifies the perfect – Chef Robert Irvine analyzes its major issues lunch. and tries to turn it around When asked about in two days with $10,000, following up after major food service trends and the next big the episode with online updates to ensure the thing in the industry, Irvine keeps it simple. restaurant makes it. “The next big thing is here,” he says. “It’s Restaurant Express is a little different in tapas, small plates and shared food, but that Irvine helps potential chefs make it big. In there is not the next ‘wow thing.’ We’ve been the debut season that just ended last week, through it all. There’s nothing that hasn’t Seonkyoung Longest—who grew up in South been done already. We’re just moving toward Korea and was residing in Mississippi—won a less formal atmosphere.” the chance to be executive chef at M Resort’s Seems that way from the surface, but restaurant Jayde Fuzion in Las Vegas, after seven judging from Irvine’s full plate of projects, the intense episodes that included cooking meals for big things—publicly anyway—are coming from zoo animals, preparing dishes out of food trucks the celebrity chefs who have some fun tricks and meeting the whims of Irvine like cooking up up their sleeve. a unique version of fish and chips. If you’re interested in seeing what Chef At one point, Irvine was so impressed with Robert Irvine is cooking up in the kitchen, Longest, despite her only having three years live, in the tech world or at the grocery store— of kitchen experience, he said, “You move because he will no doubt touch them all—visit around a kitchen like you were born in one.” Chefirvine.com. The concept of the show intrigued Irvine Oh, and in case you’re wondering, no he when a friend at The Food Network pitched doesn’t get to eat as healthy on the road as the idea of traveling across the country with a he’d like to but at the time of this interview, bus full of cooks. It wasn’t too different from the chef was diving into a salad of spinach, Irvine’s own personal experience of traveling beets and the world by sea during his time in the Royal walnuts with See Robert Irvine live in Navy, and being asked to do one-in-a-lifetime some pita and Sacramento when he brings the “impossible” to the Crest menus like cooking for the Academy Awards or carrot hummus. Theatre on Jan. 14. Doors for Donald Trump’s Taj Mahal. open at 6:30. Tickets can be

purchased at The Crest’s box office, through Thecrest.com or by calling (800) 225-2277.

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Issue 152 • December 23, 2013 – January 6, 2014

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Issue 152 • December 23, 2013 – January 6, 2014

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Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

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Issue 152 • December 23, 2013 – January 6, 2014

Growing Pains

The Speed of Sound in Seawater is Ready to Take the Next Step Words Andrew Scoggins • photo phill mamula

acramento produces some odd bands. From the barbaric yawps of industrial-rap duo Death Grips to the hedonistic dance-rock in short shorts of !!!, Sacramento has never had a concrete “scene” in the usual sense. Sure, there were a few smatterings of crust punk and that unfortunate period in the mid-‘00s where it seemed you couldn’t go to a venue without hearing Christian hardcore, but no one genre has ever truly dominated the scene. So it makes sense that math-rock band The Speed of Sound in Seawater would spring through the cracks in the concrete and onto the national stage. The Speed of Sound in Seawater is alternately geeky and totally badass, and it’s this awkward dichotomy

that makes them so interesting and, well, completely endearing. Everyone in the band looks like the quintessential laidback 20-something college student, which makes sense because twothirds of the band is still going to school between tours. Verrett just graduated from UC Davis with a degree in technicultural studies, bassist Luke Ulrici is currently studying microbiology and drummer Fernando Oliva is studying architectural design. These aren’t the easiest majors but it makes sense to have smart guys in a math-rock band. On a recent visit to the band’s practice space (guitarist Damien Verrett’s parents’ house in deep Elk Grove suburbia), the living room is crowded with amps and instruments.

Issue 152 • December 23, 2013 – January 6, 2014

The guys pick them up, and, after fiddling with a Mariah carey sample, Verrett looks over to Oliva, who counts off. And the band just goes. The first thing you’re struck by is the technicality of the music and how seamless the transition is from their recorded songs. The beats are crisp, the melodies are spot-on and the band simply motors like it’s another day at the office. It’s like it’s not a big deal that Verrett is shredding with the frenetic energy of The Fall of Troy or that Oliva is beating every inch of his minimalistic kit to create the thundering, jittering rhythms that hold the intricate workings of the song together. But in between the complexities and musicality you find yourself humming along to the fat, glimmering pop hooks in

songs like “Lots of Love for Logan,” and “The Oddest Sea.” Verrett’s crystal-clear voice brings comparisons to Circa Survive’s Anthony Green or even to some more pop-y indie acts like Freelance Whales or even Ben Gibbard. All these disparate elements blend and shift, and work in a way that doesn’t quite make sense, but is incredibly intriguing. And that’s The Speed of Sound in Seawater’s charm. The band is utterly without pretension, they’re simply really good friends who make really, really good music. The Speed of Sound in Seawater is a band that readily rejects most, if not all of the typical rockstar clichés. There’s no band drama, the guys don’t party (“I’ll drink a little bit but then we have to get up and

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

“Honestly I get more excited to meet the fans than they are to meet me. I still get stoked when we’re hanging out in a parking lot in Oklahoma or something and somebody comes up to me and goes, ‘I drove six hours to see you guys and you fucking killed it!’” – Fernando Oliva, The Speed of Sound in Seawater

drive for 13 hours, so I can’t really drink that much,” Verrett said). They don’t have groupies (“It’s really just a lot of like really young girls and some old creepy guys, which is kind of disturbing,” Oliva said). They just come together and rock their balls off. And that is exactly what they did when they came together in August to record their first proper LP in Seattle, First Contact. “In this one we just participated a lot more in the songwriting process together. Before it was just Damien who’d come and be like, ‘Hey check out this sweet riff bro,’ and then I’d be like, ‘Check out this lick bro,’ and then it’d be like, ‘You wanna put it together bro?’ and then we’d high five.” Oliva said with a laugh. “I just wanted it to be really polished, really clean where you still have that verse-chorus structure but with some different elements thrown in to keep it interesting,” Verrett said. This marks a departure from the band’s previous, admittedly brotastic, method of simply jamming out songs until they worked. “Before, we would really just kind of feel out the songs and the time changes on the fly. It was super stressful,” Oliva said. “It’s like one time it’ll be really good and the rest of the time it’s just going to be awful,” Ulrici said. But this change to a more structured approach has not been without its detractors. The band has gotten a few calls from their “fans” to return to their older, more chaotic style that was present when they released their first two EP’s, Blue Version and Red Version, four years ago. “It’s like you spend hard-earned money, you work for hours and hours writing and practicing, and then you go to a really nice studio to put out the best thing you possibly can. And then some stupid idiot on the Internet just goes, ‘well, it’s not as good as that one song you wrote in two hours and recorded in your fuckin’ bedroom.’ It’s just frustrating,” Oliva said. But these small hiccups seem to just be growing pains for a band that is attempting to plan a national tour for the summer. “I think every band goes through something similar,” Verrett said. “We’re just growing up I guess.” “It’s just about writing good songs and good melodies. It’s about musicianship rather than just being like world’s best fucking drummer!” Oliva said.

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The new approach seems to have paid off as First Contact is easily the band’s catchiest and most polished record to date. The technicality of the math-rock element of the band is still preserved in songs like “Soulmate 2.1” and “Anyanka,” but these sections are interspersed with hooky vocal melodies that give the tracks some breathing room. Instead of unhinged, frenetic jamming, the songs feel like songs. The dynamics build, ebb and flow. One of the highlights of the album, “The Macabray,” even takes a few interludes with violins, accordions and clarinets to build and layer the song brilliantly. It is in these instances where the technicality is honed to a heartbreaking point, that the band’s gift for writing simply beautiful music shines through. This is not to say that The Speed of Sound in Seawater has given up the immediacy that made their early works so enduring in the eyes of their fans. The stomping payoff to “Apples to Apples, Dust to Dust” is as great a crescendo as the band has ever written. And if that isn’t enough, the band still uses their prog-y, rowdy shout-along “Hot and Bothered by Space” as a bombastic live finale. Overall, The Speed of Sound in Seawater is simply a brilliantly talented band that somehow manages to stay humble even at the onset of their wider success. “Honestly I get more excited to meet the fans than they are to meet me,” said Oliva, “I still get stoked when we’re hanging out in a parking lot in Oklahoma or something and somebody comes up to me and goes, ‘I drove six hours to see you guys and you fucking killed it!’” “It’s like someone will get a tattoo and I’ll be like ‘Let me take a picture so I can show my mom!’” Verett said with a laugh. The Speed of Sound in Seawater is still a young, growing band but look to see these guys blow up in a big way. Sacramento is lucky to have them, for at least a little while longer.

Start the New Year off right with The Speed of Sound in Seawater when they play what is sure to be a must-see show at Luigi’s Fungarden in Sacramento on Jan. 2. It will be the first show of the band’s Unsinkable Tour, so be sure to send them off properly. Feed Me Jack will also perform.

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Issue 152 • December 23, 2013 – January 6, 2014

Still On Fire

The Flaming Lips’ Steven Drozd on Longevity, Acting and Terror

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Issue 152 • December 23, 2013 – January 6, 2014

o you realize that The Flaming Lips have been playing their brand of psychedelic rock for 30 years? That’s no small feat for a kooky band from Oklahoma City that’s thriving in a business so fickle that new musicians are first heralded as the second coming, then quickly wear out their welcomes as they’re chewed up and spat out by the same adoring fans and record labels. From their spaced-out musical compositions and a circus-like production that is the hallmark of their live shows, which has included a flock of costumed dancers gyrating around the stage while being showered with multicolored flecks of confetti as frontman Wayne Coyne floated atop the audience in bubble built for a man-sized hamster, the band is an unpredictable force in the music business. With the frenetic pace at which they operate—they’ve released not one, but two records this year: The Terror, the band’s 13 th studio album; and Peace Sword, an EP inspired by the sci-fi film Enders Game; and have a dizzying tour schedule—it’s no wonder Q magazine The Terror has been described as the named them one of the 50 bands to Lips’ darkest album to date. How does this see before you die in 2002. Submerge new, darker material translate into the talked to the Lips’ Steven Drozd about live show? staying relevant in the music industry, It took a little while. Some of the first their new “subdued” stage show and shows where we were playing The Terror how the heady days of the billionaire stuff it was kind of rough. I think we were rock god is a relic of the past. just going on the excitement of doing a whole new show...but the first few shows were chaotic in a way, meaning we hadn’t found the right dynamic for some of those What’s the band’s secret to longevity? songs. We’re not doing the big party I’ve been in the band for 22 years, [and] I balloons anymore, Wayne’s not doing the think one thing that actually worked for us space bubble and we don’t have people was not being too successful too early. I dancing on stage, but it’s a different kind think if the band had been more successful, of intensity. We still have confetti, but it’s if the band had a big hit their second record black confetti that gets shot out into the in, [or] if we’d had a big hit when I joined crowd. We still have a crazy light show, but the band, things could have gone the other it’s crazy in a different way. way. I think not having any big success until much later in the band’s career worked in It’s been written that the band is at the our favor. I think another thing is just being peak of its creative career, where do you interested in new music, instead of a lot go from here? of bands [where] they get something that I don’t know, I think that in some ways works for them and they just stick with that people might have thought we peaked formula. I think for us we’re just trying to after The Soft Bulletin and where were we keep changing what we’re doing. going to go from that. Then some people think [we peaked] after Embryonic. I just hope that if we keep being interested in music and keep trying new things that even if we fail commercially at least we can feel like we’re trying something new. Maybe people will think that we’re at some kind of creative summit, [but] I guess I don’t think about that kind of stuff really. I think that if I did it would drive me crazy.

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

“I have no problem with Spotify, I really don’t. I guess for me the thing is I just can’t accept that there’s not going to be any huge cultural shifts like there used to be. To me, that’s a bummer to think about that. It’s just a different world we live in now and to me it’s just a bummer that whole cultural, underground big shift can’t happen again, and I really believe it won’t happen again. ” – Steven Drozd, The Flaming Lips, on the changing music industry

Tell me how your side project, the Mutating Cell Ensemble, came about? I just had this thing in my head for a little while, I always had these little rhythmic and music theory things that were percolating in my head. We only did one show, but I want to do another one. I just had this musical idea I wanted to try. I knew it wouldn’t be with the Flaming Lips and I wanted to get just a group of musicians of different calibers, but people that would be interested in trying this “experiment.” I got a group of music students from the [Academy Of Contemporary Music] here in Oklahoma City and I told them that we’re basically going to be playing the same two-note riff and see what happens if we play it for an hour. We did a performance of it and I thought it was incredible. I felt high when we were done, it was so intense.

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I know you’ve dabbled in acting before, any plans to delve more into that medium? Oh...that Christmas on Mars thing. I still apologize to Wayne for that because when he started working on it, I was like, “You know in sixth and seventh grade I was in drama and I did really well in drama class,” and so he decided to make me the Major Syrtis character and now whenever I do watch it I’m just like, “Oh, god the acting is so bad.” It’s so bad that it’s interesting, you know. If I was given another chance I would definitely try much harder and I’d be more committed to the project. I wouldn’t rule it out; if anyone wants me to try do any acting for them I’d be glad to do it. If you had one word to describe the evolution of The Flaming Lips what would it be and why? Uncanny, because for all of the things we thought we had control over, I think for every one of those there were things we had no control over that actually worked in our favor. I think it’s us letting things happen, and letting that kind of guide us in some ways really benefitted us in a big way.

Speaking of the music industry, it appears to be at a weird crossroad. What do you think about where the industry is going and sites like Spotify? I have no problem with Spotify, I really don’t. I guess for me the thing is I just can’t accept that there’s not going to be any huge cultural shifts like there used to be. To me, that’s a bummer to think about that. It’s just a different world we live in now and to me it’s just a bummer that whole cultural, underground big shift can’t happen again, and I really believe it won’t happen again.

The Flaming Lips were scheduled to headline the Last Chair Music Festival at Squaw Valley Jan. 9 – 11, but literally HOURS before we went to press, it was announced the gig was postponed until further notice. To keep up on all things Flaming Lips, go to Flaminglips.com.

Issue 152 • December 23, 2013 – January 6, 2014

Top 30 of 2013 M

december

$100 & Under Show

What can you say about Danny Brown? He’s rap’s Jim Morrison, The Lizard King. Old has been on repeat since the day I got it. And will be.

Run the Jewels Run the Jewels

The Men New Moon

As dope as promised, it gets no better than this. Killer Mike is at his best, and El-P provides the perfect sonic-scape for destruction.

Brooklyn noise punks retreat to a rural cabin, finding a balance between a Mudhoney dustup and a Grateful Dead peace-in.

Sacred Bones

Biosexual The Window Wants the Bedroom-

Gauntlet Hair Stills Dead Oceans

Debacle

Fantastically produced debut album of avantgarde supergroup featuring the great Jocelyn of ALAK, brother Michael RJ Saalman and Zac Nelson.

Paper Pistols Deliver Us From Chemicals

Hardly Art

2 can do it all. Skinner & Lydell are all binary: beard/belle; drum/ voice; age/youth; decadent/austere; beautiful/music.

The Miami trio switched things up with a more polished than pure garage sound. Still playful and infectious, just adding new dimensions.

EGG Overly Easy

Gap Dream Shine Your Light

If Cake and Phish had a baby? Close, but doesn’t quite describe this amazing band. An infectious sound that makes you wanna get up and GO.

Mid-tempo sex appeal born of psychedelic melancholy and rock ‘n’ roll disco; drugs, dance, drugs, booze, dance, fuck.

Self-released

Gauntlet Hair dropped the dopest, weirdest album we’ve heard in a minute and then immediately broke up. Spacey, strange, with a dash of pop.

Jacuzzi Boys Jacuzzi Boys

Self-released

M.I.A. is pissed off, and still fresh as ever, rapping over aggressive beats and keeping the Sri Lankan sound alive.

Burger

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fri jan 3 (6-8pm) OpENING rECEpTION

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open christmas eve!

The Westwards, Atlas & Arrows

fri dec 27 (6pm) SHOrT FILM SCrEENING & LIVE MUSIC

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usic is awesome, isn’t it? Whether intentional or not, music is a big part of everyone’s lives. It’s all around us: on TV, in ads, in our headphones and earbuds attached to our smart phones with streaming audio. Chances are if you’re reading Submerge, you love music too. Even though there is more great music being made than ever and access to it is becoming easier and easier, it’s still sometimes hard to know where to look to discover new tunes. Enter Submerge’s annual year-end best-of list! In 2013 there were so many amazing albums released that we actually expanded this story to feature the top 30 instead of the top 20. You’ll notice that a lot of this list, approximately 50 percent, is local. That’s not by mistake. That’s not because we tried to include local albums just to round out our list. No, we just have that much talent right here in our own city. Compiled by all of our contributing writers and staff, we hope this list will help you discover something new. And because all of our attention spans are so short nowadays (are you still with us?), we kept our reviews to 140 characters or less, because we all know that reading someone’s short, to-the-point Twitter post is a helluva lot better than reading someone’s four-paragraph-long Facebook rant. Now, set forth and discover some new jams! Who knows, your new favorite band/ album may be waiting for you somewhere on this list.

Great handcrafted gifts by local artists at affordable prices

Danny Brown Old

Open Everyday

Issue 152 • December 23, 2013 – January 6, 2014

Film: Flatspot Music: Pablo Gutierrez

sat dec 28 (7pm) NErd NIGHT

Post Holiday Special with Drew Walker

thurs jan 2 (7pm) LIVE MUSIC

Millburray, Miss Maddy’s F Street Stompers, Apricot, Autumn Sky

wed jan 8 (8pm) LIVE MUSIC Audacity, White Night, Croissants

fri jan 3 (8pm) LIVE MUSIC

thur jan 9 (8pm) MOVIE NIGHT

tues jan 7 (8pm) THE Ma SErIES

fri jan 10 (8pm) LIVE MUSIC

Karate Mountain, Cave Women, Ila Cantor

Jeannette Faith & Crystal Pascucci

hosted by Record Club

Memory Motel, Cove, Sun Monks

Mobile sound lab AN INTeRACTIve SouND INSTAllATIoN by lIz bARToN & SKye beRGeN

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

Miley Cyrus Bangerz

RCA Crying cats ftw! The most dissed/discussed AoY; w/ hits by Dr. Luke, Pharrell & Mike WiLL, twerk! This is Miley’s year.

A perfect album for trekking the Sahara. Blues guitar, smooth Tuareg vox, steady rhythm. Produced by Dan Auerbach (of The Black Keys).

Your favorite dancepunk band is back again with more rump shaking, baby making, all-night-party-inducing tunes. Instant classic!

Tel Cairo is the best kind of weird. If Kurt Cobain made hip-hop music in space it would sound like Tel Cairo’s Voice of Reason.

It’s an insightful album. An emotional excavation replete with lyrical fluidity, melodic flirtations and a groovy aftertaste.

Illicit Artists

Sacto punkers bring forth one of the best punk rock records of the year, not just locally, but globally. Warm tones and classic style!

Foxygen We Are the 21st Century Ambassadors of Peace and Magic Jagjaguwar

Flamboyantly lilting pop with occasional Jagger twists; creates proneness for nymph-like prancing, sometimes mincing.

Self-released

Doombird Cygnus Eightmaps

Death Grips

A dizzying mix of poetry, yelling and other stuff people hate. But in the eloquent words of MC Ride, “Fuck your idols/ Suck my dick.”

Vivid percussive landscapes seen through a celestialtinged lens. Spacey harmonies embedded within hypnotic textures and bright timbres.

Chelsea Wolfe Pain Is Beauty

Government Plates Self-released

Self-released

Call Us (916) 441-3803 or email Us info@submergemag.com Today!

Booze-fueled bonebreaking sludge metal with a sense of humor. This EP gives Sac’s heavy music fans something to smile about.

Warp Records

Return to form for desert-baked Brothers Kirkwood. Simple, honest, catchy... Bare bones and poignant. May the Puppets live forever.

R E U R YOAD HE SubmergeMag.com

City of Vain Back Against the Wall

!!! THR!!!ER

Cove Candles

With Holy Fire, these British boys delivered their most focused (and heaviest) album to date, bringing a new meaning to “modern rock.”

Vertigo/Universal

Horseneck The Worst People Ever Artery

Tr ansgressive

Tel Cairo Voice of Reason

Charming, confidently progressive with kick-ass guitar solos. It’s classic Bowie with a modern, enthusiastically suspended twist.

Pure smokin’ stoner doom rock at its finest! Timeless lyrics and riffs. This album picks up where the band left off with Ozzy 30 years ago.

Ethel Scull

Meat Puppets Rat Farm

Foals Holy Fire

Black Sabbath 13

A solid debut by the Sacramento quartet. Guttural lyrical torrents coalesce with shadowy, rhythmic tones, blending into a dynamic framework of sound.

David Bowie The Next Day RCA

More fierce rock ‘n’ roll from Sac’s Dynamic Duo...and we <3 it! Grimy grooves and distorted chaos mark MC Rut’s best album to date.

Megaforce Records

Self-released

Yeah, it’s a light version of Unsilent Death (the most brutal album ever), but it’s still hard and evil enough to kill your grandma.

Bright Antenna

Nonesuch

Century Got Bars & Bru Lei Midtown Marauders A flawless Tribe tribute and audible tour of this fair city’s nucleus. If you’ve spent more than five seconds in Midtown, you want this.

Screature Screature

Bombino Nomad

Self-released

Middle Class Rut Pick Up Your Head

Southern Lord

Chuuwee Thrill

With rap albums you usually either get bangin’ trap beats OR real lyricism. On Thrill you get both. One of Sac’s best in top form.

Nails Abandon All Life

Sargent House

A beautifully haunting album. Wolfe’s ghostly vocals, layered with cascading guitars, violins and synths, will put you in a trance.

Last Cut wasn’t so super? Get it fixed at anthony’s barbershop 2408 21st st • Sac • sacramentobarbershop.com (916) 457-1120 • Tues-Fri 9am-6pm • saT 10am-4pm Issue 152 • December 23, 2013 – January 6, 2014

m u s i c , c o m e d y & m i sc . C a l e n d a r

dec. 23 – jAN. 6 submergemag.com/calendar

12.23 Monday

The Boxing Donkey Open Mic Variety Night, 8 p.m. Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m. Fox & Goose Open Mic Night, 7:30 p.m. Luna’s Cafe Nebraska Mondays hosted by Ross Hammond, 7:30 p.m. Old Ironsides Heath Williamson & Friends, 5 p.m. Powerhouse Pub Karaoke, 9 p.m. Press Club Heckarap w/ MC Ham, DJ Gourmet, Nic Offer (of !!!), 9 p.m. Sol Collective Microphone Mondays, 8 p.m.

12.24 Tuesday

Luna’s Cafe Kevin Seconds, David Houston, Allyson Seconds, Kepi Ghoulie, 7:30 p.m. Pine Cove Karaoke, 8 p.m.

12.25 Wednesday

Mix Christmas Night w/ DJ Peeti V, 8:30 p.m. Pine Cove Karaoke, 8 p.m.

12.26 thursday

Bar 101 Karaoke, 7:30 p.m. Bows and Arrows The Westwards, Atlas & Arrows, 8 p.m. Club Car Songwriters Showcase, 8 p.m. The Coffee Garden Open Mic Night, 8 p.m. District 30 Holiday Hangover EDM feat. Steele, Bphree, 9 p.m.

Issue 152 • December 23, 2013 – January 6, 2014

Dive Bar Dueling Pianos, 9 p.m. Fox & Goose Open Jam w/ Chimi Changa, 8 p.m. Harlow’s DJ House Shoes, Dibia$e, Century Got Bars, Blee, Jo Vegas, 9 p.m. Level Up Lounge Karaoke, 9 p.m. Marilyn’s The Left Hand, Herd Mindset, 9 p.m. Mix DJ Eddie Edul, 9 p.m. Pine Cove Karaoke, 9 p.m. Powerhouse Pub Whiskey Dawn, 9 p.m. Press Club DJ Missy Mark, 9 p.m. R15 Z Rokk, 9 p.m. The Stoney Inn Flat Busted, 9:30 p.m. Torch Club X Trio, 5 p.m.; Red’s Blues feat. Taki Kimori, 9 p.m.

Midtown BarFly Throw Down 4.0: Santa’s Twerkshop w/ ENTEC, Kracento Box, Ben Tension & Selly, Gentlemen’s Club and more, 9 p.m. Mix DJ Gabe Xavier, 9 p.m. Old Ironsides William Mylar, 5 p.m.; Malakite, Spirit of St. Louis, 9 p.m. The Park Ultra Lounge Sky Nellor, 9 p.m. Pine Cove Karaoke, 9 p.m. Powerhouse Pub Tainted Love, 10 p.m. Press Club DJ Rue, 9 p.m. Shine Tao Jiriki, Tony Passarell’s Now! Miles, Chad E. Williams, 8 p.m. Torch Club Pailer & Fratis, 5:30 p.m.; The Nibblers, 9 p.m. Toby Keiths Buck Ford, 9 p.m.

Friday

Saturday

Assembly The Mother Hips, Midnight North, 9 p.m. Bar 101 Humble Wolf, 9:30 p.m. The Boardwalk Grenade Jumper, Seventh Moon, The Electronauts, Moon Mantis, 7 Miles Down, 7 p.m. Capitol Garage Dub Culture w/ DK Wokstar, DJ Jaytwo, 10 p.m. Club Car Groovincible, 8:30 p.m. The Colony Los Pistoleros, The Devils Train, Pug Skullz, Final Decay, 8 p.m. The Cozmic Cafe Pregnant, Flannel (CD Release), 8 p.m. District 30 DJ DNA, 9 p.m. Fox & Goose Wes Fox & The Loons, Spark Three, The Afterlife, 9 p.m. Golden Bear DJ Crook, 10 p.m. Harlow’s Foreverland (Michael Jackson tribute), 9 p.m. Harrah’s Lake Tahoe DJ Kaos, 10:30 p.m. Luna’s Cafe Julie & Aiyana, Coal Mine Canaries, Amy Reed, 8 p.m.

Assembly DJ Quick, The Beatknocks, Cali Bear Gang, Lil Bit, Quette Daddie, 7 p.m. Bar 101 Vagabond Brothers, 9:30 p.m. The Blue Lamp Darlin’ Clementine, Hazy Valley Boys, Hank Biggs, 8 p.m. The Boardwalk Frank Hannon’s Kaleidoscope, Alex Vincent Walker Band, War Paint, 7 p.m. Cache Creek Casino Mumbo Gumbo, 8 p.m.

12.27 12.28

Café Colonial Dead Dads, Pageripper, Ballistic Burnout, Carbomb Commies, 8 p.m. Capitol Garage Feel Good Saturday’s w/ DJ Epik, 10 p.m. Club Car The Incredible Torpedos, 9 p.m. The Colony S.W.I.M., Force Multiplied, The Institution, Rebel Radio, 8 p.m. Crest Theatre Straight No Chaser, 2 p.m. & 7:30 p.m. District 30 DJ Elements, 9 p.m. Fox & Goose Cash Prophets (Johnny Cash tribute), The Uncovered, 9 p.m. Harlow’s Brian Chris Rogers Band, Nevada Backwards, Lino, Sean Flemming, 8 p.m. Harrah’s Lake Tahoe Tainted Love, 7:30 p.m.; Rev Run and Rukus, 10:30 p.m. KBAR Z Rokk, 9 p.m. Level Up Lounge Guest DJs, 9 p.m. Luna’s Cafe The Iron Hearts, Emily O’Neill, David Houston, 8 p.m. Marilyn’s Cuesta Drive, 9 p.m. Mix DJ Eddie Edul, 9 p.m. Old Ironsides Wanted Exotic, Tiki Lounge Lizards, 9 p.m. Pine Cove Karaoke, 9 p.m. Powerhouse Pub Guitar Mac, 3 p.m.; Inspector 71, 10 p.m. Press Club DJ Larry Rodriguez, 9 p.m. Red Hawk Casino Big Bad Boogie Rock, 10 p.m. Shine Fulkerson & Clarke, 8 p.m. Third Space Field Medic, Moonlit Wheat, 8:30 p.m. Torch Club Johnny Guitar Knox, 5:30 p.m.; Jerry Perry Bday Bash w/ Keri Carr Band, 9 p.m.

12.27 the mother hips Midnight North Assembly 9 p.m.

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

1050 20TH ST, MIDTOWN SACRAMENTO

447-1255 OPEN LATE NIGHT !!! EVERYDAY SPECIALS!

12.29 The Coffis Brothers Torch Club 9 p.m.

Thunder Valley Casino Resort The Whispers, SOS Band, 7:30 p.m. Toby Keiths Brodie Stewart, 9 p.m.

12.29 Sunday

The Blue Lamp Get Down to the Champion Sound w/ DJ ESEF, Selector KDK, Juan Love, Ras Matthew and Guests, 9 p.m. Broderick Roadhouse Karaoke w/ DJ Jazcat, 9 p.m. Capitol Garage Karaoke w/ Jeff Jenkins, 9 p.m. Center for the Arts Antsy McClain and the Trailer Park Troubadours, 7:30 p.m. Distillery Karaoke, 8 p.m. Harrah’s Lake Tahoe Taboo (from the Black Eyed Peas), 10:30 p.m. LowBrau Musical Charis, James Cavern, Hans!, 9 p.m. Mix DJ Gabe Xavier, 8:30 p.m. Powerhouse Pub Joe Louis Walker, Chris Gardner Backyard Blues Band, Dippin Sauce and more, 3 p.m. Press Club Sunday Night Soul Party w/ DJ Larry Rodriguez, 9 p.m. Red Hawk Casino Sweet Revenge, 7:30 p.m. Thunder Valley Casino Resort Mark Chesnutt & Confederate Railroad, 7:30 p.m. Torch Club Blues Jam, 4 p.m.; The Coffis Brothers, 9 p.m.

SubmergeMag.com

12.30 Monday

The Boxing Donkey Open Mic Variety Night, 8 p.m. Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m. Fox & Goose Open Mic Night, 7:30 p.m. Harrah’s Lake Tahoe DJ Micro, 10:30 p.m. Luna’s Cafe Nebraska Mondays hosted by Ross Hammond, 7:30 p.m. Old Ironsides Heath Williamson & Friends, 5 p.m. Powerhouse Pub Karaoke, 9 p.m. Red Hawk Casino Ice House Blues, 7:30 p.m. Sol Collective Microphone Mondays, 8 p.m. Thunder Valley Casino Resort Frank Caliendo, 8:30 p.m.

12.31 Tuesday

Ace of Spades Dirt Nasty, Richard The Rockstar, Nasty Martin, Penny, Lil Bit, Taktics, 7:30 p.m. Assembly Utz ! & the Shuttlecocks, 8 p.m. Bar 101 California Special, 9:30 p.m. The Blue Lamp DJ Branscomb, 8 p.m. The Boardwalk Brumal, Valensorow, Symbolik, Graveshadow, 7 p.m. Capitol Garage DK Epik, 10 p.m. Club Car Foxtrot Mary, 5 p.m. Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m. District 30 DJ As-Is, 9 p.m. Fox & Goose Flower Vato & MC Ham, 9 p.m.

Harlow’s Lovefool, 8 p.m. Harrah’s Lake Tahoe DJs From Mars, 9 p.m. Hyatt Regency Sacramento Pop Fiction, DJ Rated R, 9 p.m. Jackson Sports Arena Switchfoot, Arden Park Roots, DJ Blackheart, 7 p.m. Laughs Unlimited Four Barrel, 10 p.m. LowBrau Penguin Prison, Exquisite Corps, DJ Sam I Jam and Guests, 8 p.m. Marilyn’s Musical Charis, Ideateam, Big Sticky Mess, 8 p.m. Midtown BarFly New Jack Fling w/ CrookOne, Frank D, Ben Johnson, 9 p.m. Mix DJ Eddie Edul, 8:30 p.m. Momo DJ Oasis, 8 p.m. MontBleu Resort Casino Glam Cobra, 8 p.m. Old Ironsides LIPSTICK! & SubMerge Magazine Present: New Year’s Eve w/ Contra, Shaun Slaughter, Roger Carpio, Adam Jay, 9 p.m. The Park Ultra Lounge DJ Peeti V, 9 p.m. Pine Cove Open Mic Night, 9 p.m. Powerhouse Pub 8 Track Massacre, 9 p.m. Red Hawk Casino Whiskey Dawn, 6 p.m.; Cover Me Badd, 11 p.m. Thunder Valley Casino Resort Tower of Power, Average White Band, 9 p.m. Torch Club Mind X Quartet, 5:30 p.m.; New Year’s Eve w/ Island of Black & White, 8 p.m. Toby Keith’s Cripple Creek, 9 p.m.

(916)

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HAPPY HOUR 7 DAYS A WEEK: 3pm-6pm $2 cheese or pepperoni slice & $2 pints

EAT. DRINK. LISTEN.

Issue 152 • December 23, 2013 – January 6, 2014

1.02

Autumn Sky Millburray, Miss Maddy’s F Street Stompers, Apricot Bows and Arrows 7 p.m.

1.01 wednesday

Bar 101 Open Mic, 7:30 p.m. Cafe Colonial Tune-Up Songwriters Showcase feat. Dr. Velocity, hosted by Kevin Seconds and David Houston, 8 p.m. Club Car The Double Shots, 7:30 p.m. Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m. G Street WunderBar DJ Larry Rodriguez, 10 p.m.

Mix DJ Gabe Xavier, DJ Peeti V, 9 p.m. Old Ironsides Open Mic, 9 p.m. On The Y Open Mic feat. the Bodacious Bombshells, 8 p.m. Torch Club New Year’s Hangover Party Acoustic Open Mic Hosted by Sandra Delores, 2 p.m.

1.02 Thursday

Bows and Arrows Millburray, Miss Maddy’s F Street Stompers, Apricot, Autumn Sky, 7 p.m. Club Car Songwriters Showcase, 8 p.m. The Coffee Garden Open Mic Night, 8 p.m. The Colony Alarms (LP Release), Raw Nerves, 30.06, Cura Cochino, 7 p.m. Dive Bar Dueling Pianos, 9 p.m. Fox & Goose Songwriter Showcase w/ Martin Purtill, Brandon Tyler, Justin Purtill, 8 p.m. Level Up Lounge Karaoke, 9 p.m. Luigi’s Fungarden The Speed of Sound in Seawater, Feed Me Jack, 8 p.m. Mix DJ Eddie Edul, DJ Peeti V, 9 p.m. Old Ironsides Karaoke, 9 p.m. Pine Cove Karaoke, 9 p.m. Powerhouse Pub Two Steps Down, 10 p.m. R15 Z Rokk, 9 p.m. Shine 916 Quartet, 8 p.m. Torch Club X Trio, 5:30 p.m.; Jeramy Norris, 9 p.m.

Bar 101 Karaoke, 7:30 p.m.

1.03 FRIDAY

Bar 101 Mac Russ, 9:30 p.m. Bows and Arrows Karate Mountain, Cave Women, Ila Cantor, 8 p.m. Capitol Garage Dub Culture w/ DK Wokstar, DJ Jaytwo, 10 p.m. District 30 DJ Billy Lane, 9 p.m. Fox & Goose Big Sticky Mess, 9 p.m. Golden Bear DJ Crook, 10 p.m. Harlow’s Hans! & the Hot Mess, 5:30 p.m.; Rock On Live Band Karaoke, 10 p.m. Harrah’s Lake Tahoe DJ Keenan, DJ Ray Styles, 8 p.m. John Natsoulas Gallery D. Bump Band, 7 p.m. Mix DJ Gabe Xavier, 9 p.m. Pine Cove Karaoke, 9 p.m. Powerhouse Pub Spazmatics, 10 p.m. Press Club DJ Rue, 9 p.m. Red Hawk Casino Frank Hannon Band, 9:30 p.m. Shine Kevin Seconds, Kepi Ghoulie, 8 p.m.

Torch Club Pailer & Fratis, 5 p.m.; Dippin’ Sauce, 9 p.m.

1.04 Saturday

Assembly Karega Bailey, Mark Noxx, Rasar, DJ Supe, 8:30 p.m. Bar 101 Constellations, 9:30 p.m. The Boardwalk Mechanizm, Motorize, Red Rover, Pseudosilence, Ashes in August, 7 p.m. Cache Creek Casino The Queens of Pop, 8 p.m. Capitol Garage Feel Good Saturday’s w/ DJ Epik, 10 p.m. Center for the Arts The Chillbillies (Elvis’ 79th Birthday Party), 8 p.m. The Colony Wrath Of Vesuvius, Solanum Thrash, Evisceration, Among The Torrent, Cerebral Cannabis, 5:30 p.m. District 30 DJ Elements, 9 p.m. Fox & Goose The Golden Cadillacs, 9 p.m. Harlow’s Mark Curry, 58 Fury, Leo Bootes, 9 p.m.

KBAR Z Rokk, 9 p.m. Level Up Lounge Guest DJs, 9 p.m. Mix DJ Eddie Edul, 9 p.m. Pine Cove Karaoke, 9 p.m. Powerhouse Pub Disco Revolution, 10 p.m. Press Club DJ Larry Rodriguez, 9 p.m. Red Hawk Casino Frank Hannon Band, 10 p.m. Rock Band University Levi the Poet, Least of These, Heart Like Lions, Champagne Girls, Crush, Method, 7 p.m. Shine Hans & the Hot Mess, Matt Sertich (of The Generals), 8 p.m. Torch Club Quinn Hedges, 5:30 p.m.; Big Earl & The Cryin Shame, 9 p.m.

1.05 Sunday

The Blue Lamp Get Down to the Champion Sound w/ DJ ESEF, Selector KDK, Juan Love, Ras Matthew and Guests, 9 p.m. Broderick Roadhouse Karaoke w/ DJ Jazcat, 9 p.m.

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(916) 441-3803

or email Us

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Today!

Issue 152 • December 23, 2013 – January 6, 2014

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

New Year’s Eve Sky Spectacular Theatre of Lights Performances, Live Music, Fireworks Shows Old Sacramento 6 p.m.

12.31 Capitol Garage Karaoke w/ Jeff Jenkins, 9 p.m. Distillery Karaoke, 8 p.m. Mix DJ Gabe Xavier, 8:30 p.m. Press Club Sunday Night Soul Party w/ DJ Larry Rodriguez, 9 p.m. Torch Club Blues Jam, 5:30 p.m.; Tess Marie & the Poor Man Band, 9 p.m. UC Davis: Vanderhoef Studio Theatre Alexander String Quartet, 2 & 7 p.m.

1.06 Monday

The Boxing Donkey Open Mic Variety Night, 8 p.m. The Colony Plague Widow, Misanthropic Noise, Chetwrecker, Grunt, Exogroth, Mahamawaldi, xTom Hanx, 7 p.m. Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m. Fox & Goose Open Mic Night, 7:30 p.m. Luna’s Cafe Nebraska Mondays hosted by Ross Hammond, 7:30 p.m. Powerhouse Pub Karaoke, 9 p.m. Press Club Mentors, Knifethruhead, Ssyndrom, Concussion, 8 p.m. Sol Collective Microphone Mondays, 8 p.m. Comedy

Laughs Unlimited Cory and Chad, Michael Calvin Jr., Dec. 27 - 29, Fri. & Sat., 8 p.m. & 10:30 p.m.; Sunday, 7 p.m. New Year’s Eve Comedy w/ Smash Brothers, Dec. 31, 6 p.m. & 8:30 p.m. Sean Peabody, Rodger Lizaola, Jan. 3 - 5, Fri. & Sat., 8 p.m. & 10:30 p.m.; Sunday, 7 p.m. SubmergeMag.com

Luna’s Cafe Open Mic Comedy, every Tuesday, 7:30 p.m. Keith Lowell Jensen’s Comedy Night, every Wednesday, 8 p.m. Punchline Comedy Club Ngaio Bealum, Kirk McHenry, Cory Loykasek, Dec. 26 - 28, Fri. & Sat., 8 p.m. & 10 p.m. Doug Benson, Dec. 29, 8 p.m. Doug Loves Movies Podcast Taping, Dec. 30, 8 p.m. 2013’s Last Laughs w/ Mike Betancourt, Sam Davidoff, David Studebaker, Mary Van Note, John Ross, Johnny Taylor and more, Dec. 31, 7:30 p.m. Sam Bams New Year’s Comedy Jam, Dec. 31, 10 p.m. Nico Santos, Reggie Steele, Jan. 2 - 5, Thurs., 8 p.m.; Fri. & Sat., 8 p.m. & 10 p.m.; Sun., 7 p.m. Sacramento Comedy Spot Open Mic, Sunday’s and Monday’s, 7:30 p.m. Gag Order, Thursday’s, 8 p.m. Improv Jam, Thursday’s, 9 p.m. Anti-Cooperation League, Saturday’s, 9 p.m. Test Kitchen, Saturday’s, 10:30 p.m. Sketchtropolis, Dec. 27, 8 p.m. The Fresh Five hosted by Brian Crall, Dec. 27, 9 p.m. The Syndicate, Jan. 3, 9 p.m. The One Up Show hosted by Steph Garcia, Jan. 4, 8 p.m. Misc.

2020 J Street Midtown Farmers Market, every Saturday, 8 a.m. Bar 101 Trivia Night, Monday’s, 6:30 p.m.

Blue Cue Trivia Night, every Wednesday, 6:30 p.m. Bows & Arrows Short Film Screening: Flatspot: A film by Pablo Gutierrez and Matt Miller, Dec. 27, 6 p.m. Nerd Night Post Holiday Special w/ Drew Walker, Dec. 28, 7 p.m. Mobile Sound Lab: An Interactive Sound Installation by Liz Barton & Skye Bergen, Opening Reception Jan. 3, 6 p.m. The Boxing Donkey Trivia Night, every Tuesday, 8 p.m. Brickhouse Gallery Kwanzaa 2013 Celebration, Dec. 27, 6 p.m. Capital Stage The Santaland Diaries, through Dec. 29 Crocker Art Museum Emancipating the Past: Kara Walker’s Tales of Slavery and Power, through Jan.5 Sky is Falling: Paintings by Julie Heffernan, through Jan. 26 Passion and Virtuosity: Hendrick Goltzius and the Art of Engraving, through Jan. 26 Fairytale Town Free Admission Day, Dec. 24, 10 a.m. Fox & Goose Pub Quiz, Tuesday’s, 7 p.m. Guild Theatre NaTalia Johnson Conservatory of Ballet presents: The Nutcracker, Dec. 24, 2 p.m. & 7 p.m. Hyatt Regency Sacramento Christmas Buffet, Dec. 25, 10 a.m. Luigi’s A Slice of Trivia w/ the Bruce Twins, Monday’s, 8 p.m. Luna’s Cafe Poetry Unplugged, Thursday’s, 8 p.m. Midtown BarFly Salsa Lessons, every Wednesday, 8 p.m. Old Sacramento New Year’s Eve Sky Spectacular: Theatre of Lights Performances, Live Music, Fireworks Shows, Dec. 31, 6 p.m. Pine Cove Trivia Night, Wednesday’s, 9 p.m. Press Club Flex Your Head Trivia, Tuesday’s, 8 p.m. Sacramento RiverTrain West Sacramento New Year’s Eve Express, Dec. 31, 8:30 p.m. Sacramento Zoo Christmas Eve Pajama Party, Dec. 24, 10 a.m. Toby Keith’s Free Line Dance Lessons, Wednesdays, 8 p.m.

B i l ly ’ s d i r t y B - d ay e X t r aVa g a n Z a

FUDI

speci al gu es race to th ts e bot tom

starlite lounge

formerly townhouse 1 5 1 7 2 1 st s t r e e t • s a c r a m e n t o 8 p.m. • $5 • 21+

friday

jan. 10 th

Issue 152 • December 23, 2013 – January 6, 2014

The grindhouse

Not-so-Simply the Best of 2013

Words James Barone

It’s that time of year when we take stock of things. Another year has passed, and we want to look back and ask, “Hey, 2013, just what manner of year were you?” You can ponder over what that answer might be however you choose. It’s your life, pal, but here at “The Grindhouse,” we just talk about movies. We saw a lot of movies this year. Between Netflix, HBOGo and whatever we reviewed in this space, the exact figure could be upward of eleventy billion (if that were an actual number). But is it possible to rank them in order and determine which one was the best? Uh… Yeah, we guess it is possible, but that’s why you watch the Oscars. Instead, here are a few notable flicks that we thought were the best for various (and perhaps arbitrary) reasons. Enjoy, and stop hogging the popcorn already.

The Best Movie to Bring Your New Girlfriend To:

Evil Dead

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The remake of Sam Raimi’s gory classic was just as bloody and vile as the original. There were demons and drug use and people getting nails driven into them and hot chicks slicing their faces off in the bathroom with shards of broken glass. It was pretty awesome! This was the perfect movie to bring a new girlfriend to, and, no, not because it was scary and caused her to jump all over you (pervert), but because it served as an excellent litmus test as to whether or not the relationship would pan out. If she could actually sit through this mess and enjoyed it, you could look at it in a couple of ways: you decide she’s a good sport and, therefore, a keeper; or, you get turned off by the fact that she liked such a brutal and frightening display and decide you’re probably better off moving on. Whatever you decide is probably more of a reflection of your bullshit issues than it is of what kind of person she is. And see, you thought it was just some silly horror movie.

The Best Person Ever in 2013:

Jennifer Lawrence

2718 J Street Sacramento

916.706.2275 • TheRedRabbit.net Facebook.com/SacRabbit

OK so Jennifer Lawrence technically isn’t a movie, but seriously, is there anyone better than her? I know the new pope is off to a pretty awesome start, but he’s still a distant second behind J-Law. She started off the year tripping on her way up the stairs to get her welldeserved Best Actress Oscar for the amazing Silver Linings Playbook, fended off a creepy Jack Nicholson at some Academy Awards after party, talked about her collection of butt plugs on Conan, starred as one of the coolest heroines ever in one of the biggest films of the year (The Hunger Games: Catching Fire, duh) and put a bow on 2013 in David O. Russell’s much-ballyhooed American Hustle. Plus everyone online just raves about how much they love her, because she’s so real and stuff. I mean…I love her. God. I love her. Did I just type that out loud?

Issue 152 • December 23, 2013 – January 6, 2014

The Best Superhero Movie I Forgot I Saw:

Iron Man 3 I know I had to have seen Iron Man 3, simply because I see every stupid superhero movie that comes out. After that, however, there are only flashes. Like Ben Kingsley playing a guy playing a supervillain. And a bunch of Iron Man suits exploding like fireworks. Don Cheadle. A pony. I just threw the pony in there, because I couldn’t think of anything else. I probably thought Iron Man 3 was pretty sweet though. How many stars did I give it?

The Best Worst Movie of 2013:

Tyler Perry’s Temptation: Confession of a Marriage Counselor If you haven’t seen this yet, you need to stop reading this right now and watch it… Are you back? I KNOW RIGHT. Shit gets real in Temptation. Jurnee Smollett-Bell (Friday Night Lights) plays Judith, a goody-two-shoes employee of a matchmaking service. She’s married and boring, and that’s cool until she meets billionaire social media tycoon Harley (Robbie Jones), who tempts her to the Dark Side. There is so much awesomely bad awesomeness in this movie, where to begin? The Lifetime movie-style, coloned title is your first clue that Temptation is full of high-powered melodrama and heavyhanded morality. Tyler Perry ditches the cross-dressing, metes out bludgeoning moral judgment and rubs your face in Kim Kardashian’s backside for good measure. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry (OK, probably not cry), you’ll shout, “Oh no she didn’t,” at the TV screen. Temptation is perfect fodder for a drinking game, but I’m just not smart enough to come up with the rules. If you can, please email me at jb@ submergemag.com and I’d be happy to post them here. Here’s to another great cinematic year in 2014!

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

Live<< rewind

Two Gallants Photo Melissa Welliver

A GALLANT EFFORT

Two Gallants Photo Melissa Welliver G. Green Photo Niki Kangas

Two Gallants, G. Green Harlow’s, Sacramento • Dec. 14, 2013

Words Niki Kangas Sometimes I read over my recent reviews of shows or restaurants, and think, “Criminy! Am I just a crotchety old curmudgeon now who hates everything?” How refreshing it is to realize that this is not the case! While most things have a tinge of suck imbued into them, or just plain suck outright, there are good bands, good dishes, good men, good women and good days. I can love as much as I can hate. The Two Gallants show, opened up by locals G. Green, on Dec. 14, and booked by Brian McKenna of Abstract Entertainment for Harlow’s Nightclub, had me feeling the love big time. I know Two Gallants well, and they’ve known one another even longer, having written songs together since the age of 12. I was clamoring for the chance to review their set, but honestly knew little of G. Green. I assumed (again, because I have dickish tendencies and little time for pre-show research or repeat trips to catalog a band’s progress) that G. Green would be a coterie of whiny yet privileged hipsters with no real musical merit, albeit plenty of cool, contrived clothing. They were in their infancy when I saw their show years back at the now-defunct Javalounge, and they’ve since come a long way, baby. For indeed, when G. Green took the stage at Harlow’s, right off the bat, I was doing that super nerdy head-bobbing dance and smiling like an idiot. These dudes are no joke, but rather a rad postpunk band hailing from Sacramento that showed me who was boss! These SXSW veterans’ most current LP is called Crap Culture, and they are working on an album as we (figuratively) speak with Chris Woodhouse. Although each band member belts it out from time to time, frontman Andrew Henderson supplies minimalist lead vocals and guitar, while Mike Morales plays lead guitar and Simi Sohata provides a thumping, fuzzy garage bass undercurrent. And then, there’s Liz Liles— an unparalleled babe with floorgrazing chestnut locks, porcelain skin, and strawberry red lips— drumming up legit, badass pounding tempos, and getting all the things in the room throbbing. Maybe G. Green isn’t a wildly original concept, but they damn straight will get the room oscillating between bouncing and rocking. And then came something elusive and magical that is so rare in the music industry: a perfunctory set change, which was followed by the headliners’ set taking off, like one of those whiplash-inducing SubmergeMag.com

zero-to-sixty-in-two-seconds rollercoaster rides. Or maybe it just seemed that way, following shots of tequila. Have you ever had your heart metaphorically ripped out of your chest, thrown on a greasy, dirty floor right before your eyes, and stomped on until it was nothing but a smear of bloodspattered muscle dying in a sick, pulsating decrescendo? Two Gallants’ singer, Adam Stephens, perfectly conveys that experience with every agonized cry desperately flung from the pit of his stomach into the mic. But this ain’t your tragic teenage nephew’s go-to screamo group. This two-piece band creates a wall of sound that is emotionally charged, anguished Americana, with roots in blues, folk, country and garage. Drummer Tyson Vogel lends backup vocals and beats out raw, traveling cadences that give legs to Stephens’ rolling, melodic fingerpicking and driving electric guitar soundscapes. Hailing from foggy San Francisco, this duo borrows its name from the title of one of the short stories in James Joyce’s Dubliners, “Two Gallants.” They have released four full-length albums, and have toured the world over. Their most recent album, The Bloom and the Blight, was born after a five-year hiatus to a multitude of hungry fans. This was not my first rodeo; after seeing Two Gallants kill their 45 minutes set another time, they did not at all disappoint. Stephens’ Stevie Wonder-esque sway holds a shadow of the joy characterized by the bespectacled Grammy-winning soul and pop artist— Stephens instead appears to be pained by every shaking utterance. Nonetheless, it is a happy catharsis to relate to him as he aches along with your deepest secrets, teamed up with a harmonic, danceable delivery. They’ll alternatingly melt your face off, and then bring it down a notch (or several) with their dirge-like storytelling hymns. Bipolar, sure, but at least you know you’re alive. To sum it all up, they fucking rocked.

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Issue 152 • December 23, 2013 – January 6, 2014

THe moTHer Hips

midnigHT norTH (feaT. graHame lesH)

Assembly • 1000 K street

• sAcrAmento • 21 & over • 9:00pm

mark curry

HArlow’s • 2708 J street • sAcrAmento • 21 & over • 9:00pm

weedeaTer HArlow’s • 2708 J street • sAcrAmento • 21 & over • 8:00pm

Tea leaf green / moon Taxi HArlow’s • 2708 J street • sAcrAmento • 21 & over • 9:00pm dusTbowl revival merrygold

HArlow’s • 2708 J street • sAcrAmento • 21 & over • 8:00pm

!!! (cHk cHk cHk) HArlow’s • 2708 J

• sAcrAmento • 18 & over • 9:00pm

friday

Jan 17

• All Ages • 6:30pm

Jan 23 Jan 24 Jan 25 saturday

HArlow’s • 2708 J street • sAcrAmento • 21 & over • 10:00pm

zappa plays zappa

(performing roxy And elsewHere in sequence)

crest tHeAtre • 1013 K street • sAcrAmento • All Ages • 7:30pm

THe devil makes THree THe broTHers comaTose

Ace of spAdes • 1417 r street • sAcrAmento • All Ages • 8:00pm

secreT cHiefs 3 (members of mr. bungle) mirTHkon

HArlow’s • 2708 J street • sAcrAmento • 21 & over • 8:00pm

Jan 25 tuesday

feb 4 friday

feb 7 monday

feb 10

alo (AnimAl liberAtion orcHestrA)

friday

man man

sunday

HArlow’s • 2708 J street • sAcrAmento • 21 & over • 9:00pm

xenia rubinos

HArlow’s • 2708 J street • sAcrAmento • 21 & over • 8:00pm HArlow’s • 2708 J

zepparella street • sAcrAmento • 21 TypHoon

GrIZFoLK • LIne & CIrCLes

HArlow’s • 2708 J street • sAcrAmento • 21 & over • 8:00pm

umpHrey’s mcgee Ace of spAdes • 1417 r street • sAcrAmento • All Ages • 8:00pm HArlow’s • 2708 J

galacTic street • sAcrAmento

feb 23 mar 1 tuesday

mar 4 thursday

mar 13 tuesday

• 21 & over • 8:00pm

THe sword

BIG BusIness • o’Brother

HArlow’s • 2708 J street • sAcrAmento • 21 & over • 8:00pm

HArlow’s • 2708 J

feb 14

sunday

& over • 9:00pm

weekend street • sAcrAmento •

mar 18 wednesday

mar 19 sunday

21 & over • 7:00pm

rebeluTion common kings

sAcrAmento memoriAl Auditorium • 1515 J street • sAcrAmento • All Ages • 8:00pm

yonder mounTain sTring band

Ace of spAdes • 1417 r street • sAcrAmento • All Ages • 8:00pm

mar 23 sunday

mar 23 friday

apr 4

abstract entertainment

TickeTs available aT: TickeTfly.com

TickeTs for Harlow’s sHows also available aT Harlows.com TickeTs for cresT sHow also available aT cresT THeaTre box office TickeTs for assembly music Hall available aT assemblysacramenTo.com TickeTs for ace of spades also available aT aceofspades.com and 916.443.9202

Evolution of the Species James Barone jb@submergemag.com

thursday

saturday

mojo green

dec

Jan 16

friday

fine sTeps

THe nibblers

le on sdaay, i r f 27

Jan 4

the shallow end

thursday

black cobra

wild cub street • sAcrAmento

dec 27 saturday

58 Fury • Leo Bootes

Assembly • 1000 K street

friday

Issue 152 • December 23, 2013 – January 6, 2014

It’s been a banner year for civil rights in America. More and more states are legalizing same-sex marriages, and clearly, that’s a good thing. One day, our grandkids will be reading a history text book and think we were all a bunch of cro-mags because we grew up in a country where two guys or girls couldn’t get hitched. Change is difficult, though (just ask the President). It’s not just a matter of changing policies; that’s the easy part. It doesn’t take much work to get a majority of people in public offices to say, OK, this is a law now. The tougher part is changing the minds and hearts of a populace, especially when most of the populace is ass-backwards as fuck. Evolution takes time (biologically and socially), so I understand it’s easy to get frustrated. Personally, I’m kinda bummed that I probably won’t live long enough to see humans devolve our pinky toes and gain the ability to communicate telepathically. It’s going to happen one day, I just know it; but, alas, I’ll probably be worm food by then. It’s more likely that I’ll live long enough to see same-sex marriage become legal in all 50 states. It’s a small step, but I think it’s an important one. Telepathy, man, it’s just so fucking cool, you know? Of course, I’m meandering—slowly—toward talking about this Duck Dynasty business. I’ve never seen the show. I’m not sure why anyone would want to see the show. Like, is it a family of duck hunters? I’m down with hunting (not that I have the stomach for it myself, but have at it) and ducks are really tasty, but what goes on? Do they just hunt all day? In camouflage? With those neat little duck calls? How is it a dynasty, exactly? Has the family ruled over the duck-hunting world for millennia? Like I said, I’ve never seen it before. I like scripted television shows…or more specifically, shows that admit to being scripted. My only exposure to the Duck Dynasty people was a daytime talk show where the whole clan was featured. They were all bearded—the guys anyway—and they all seemed very patriotic. They were charming, too, in their own way. I liked all these things. I listened to them talk for a while and thought, “You know, here’s a pretty nice family. They love one another even though they’re all pretty scruffy-looking. I really hope it doesn’t turn out that one of them is going to say something stupid about Jews, blacks or gays.”

You see, I hate stereotypes. Just because you hunt ducks and have a beard and live somewhere in the south and wear starspangled headbands doesn’t mean you have to be ignorant. You can be hip, smart and openminded no matter what you look like or where you sit on the political spectrum. You know why? Because this is fucking America. And that’s just how we roll. Or, should roll anyway. That’s why I was bummed when Duck Dynasty patriarch Phil Robertson made some idiotic, stereotypically narrow-minded comments about homosexuality in a GQ interview. Thinking that Robertson is a backwards, bigoted fucktard is the same sort of closed-minded thinking that leads Robertson to believing that all homosexuals are godless adulterers. And then he turns out to be a backwards, bigoted fucktard and it’s like, ugh. You know? Why can’t he just be cool? Why can’t it be like, yeah, I shoot ducks and farm my facial hair and voted for Romney, but whatever, bro. We’re all God’s children, or whatever. I feel bad for him, really, because he’s so far behind the times. It’s like watching a dinosaur on the verge of going extinct. Sure, he’ll fight and roar and whatnot, but it’s not going to end well for him. It’s just going to take time. Not billions of years like it was for the dinosaurs. Maybe just a few decades, which is really barely even a blink of an eye in the grand scheme of things. Soon he’ll be hemming and hawing about how people who aren’t like him are evil, and there won’t be anyone there to listen. That’s sad. Not for the rest of us, I guess, but for him. At press time, Robertson had already lost his TV show. A&E rightfully put Duck Dynasty on indefinite hiatus. Though that was probably more a sound business decision than it was because they actually gave a fuck. TMZ reported that some networks are eager to take on the wildly popular reality show should A&E cut ties with it permanently. One such network is reportedly the Hunt Channel, whose president Merrill Sport said, “A&E is too scripted. [Hunt Channel] would let the personalities flow.” Stupidity and ignorance will persist. They always do. Just know what you’re witnessing now is more of a death rattle. Quieter days are just around the corner.

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

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Issue 152 • December 23, 2013 – January 6, 2014

Audio Express — Sacramento Submerge — 12/23/2013

Dive into Sacramento & its Surrounding Areas december 23, 2013 – January 6, 2014 •

free

Two Gallants & G. Green Teach Harlow’s How to Love Again

Submerge’s

Top 30

Albums of 2013 New Year’s Eve 14Hotspots! The Speed of Sound in Seawater On the Verge

The Flaming Lips Fire Still Burns Bright

Chef Robert Irvine Restaurant Superhero

Michael O’Connell Laughing at You

The Best Movies of 2013!!!...Sort of...