Submerge Magazine 175 (November 17-December 1, 2014)

Dive into Sacramento & its Surrounding Areas

november 17 – December 1, 2014

#175

Samuel Horne's Tavern A Folsom

A.C. Myles Even Californians Get the Blues TBD Fest's

Original Turns 5

NYE

Block Party

Keith Lowell Jensen

J Ras

an Atheist Christmas

tops iTunes Reggae Charts

Chris Robinson Brotherhood An Organic Musical Feast

lord pawn Graffiti Writer Goes Pro

Fear the Black Cat

free

\

friday

jan 23

ace of spades • 1417 r street • sacto • all ages • 8:00pm

[PostPoned] tig notaro

a s s e m b ly • 10 0 0 k s t r e e t • s a c r a m e n t o • 2 1 & o v e r • 8 : 0 0 p m

Los straitjackets

nov 17 wednesday

ft. deke dickerson

H a r l o w ’ s • 270 8 J s t r e e t • s a c r a m e n to • 21 & o v e r • 7:3 0 p m

soldt ou

monday

sturgiLL simPson Lucette

nov 19 sunday

H a r l o w ’ s • 270 8 J s t r e e t • s a c r a m e n to • 21 & o v e r • 8: 0 0 p m

***new date, 12/6 tix honored***

caLifornia honeydroPs

H a r l o w ’ s • 270 8 J s t r e e t • s a c r a m e n to • 21 & o v e r • 8: 0 0 p m

charLie hunter & scott amendoLa mike diLLon Band

nov 23 sunday

dec 7 tuesday

dec 16

H a r l o w ’ s • 270 8 J s t r e e t • s a c r a m e n to • 21 & o v e r • 7:3 0 p m

le on sdaay, fri 1

of Ultravox] midgeunfortunate ure [vocalist Bastard

H a r l o w ’ s • 270 8 J s t r e e t • s a c r a m e n to • 21 & o v e r • 7: 0 0 p m

the ting tings

saturday

H a r l o w ’ s • 270 8 J s t r e e t • s a c r a m e n to • 21 & o v e r • 9 : 0 0 p m

the new mastersounds the heard

nov 2

the motet

the dodos

H a r l o w ’ s • 270 8 J s t r e e t • s a c r a m e n to • 21 & o v e r • 8: 0 0 p m

Harlow’s

•

2708

J

street

•

sacr amento

•

all

jan 28 tuesday

H a r l o w ’ s • 270 8 J s t r e e t • s a c r a m e n to • 21 & o v e r • 8: 0 0 p m

wiLd chiLd

jan 24 wednesday

H a r l o w ’ s • 270 8 J s t r e e t • s a c r a m e n to • 21 & o v e r • 8: 0 0 p m

le on sdaay, i fr 1

friday

nov 2 jan 9

ages

•

le on sdaay, i r f 1

nov 2

8:00pm

aLo the t sisters

H a r l o w ’ s • 270 8 J s t r e e t • s a c r a m e n to • 21 & o v e r • 8: 0 0 p m

feb 3 tuesday

feb 10 tuesday

feb 17 thursday

feb 19

abstract entertainment

tickets avaiLaBLe at: ticketfLy.com

tickets for harLow’s shows aLso avaiLaBLe at harLows.com tickets for ace of sPades aLso avaiLaBLe at aceofsPadessac.com and 916.443.9202

2

Issue 175 • November 17 – December 1, 2014

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

Friday, January 23

Special Guest: Jessie bridges

thurSday, november 20

Saturday, november 22

Sunday, november 30

box Set

An evening with

birds of Chicago Special Guests: t Sisters

brokedown in bakersfield

$25 members, $28 non-member

$18 members, $22 non-member

$22 members, $25 non-member

Saturday, deCember 6

Sunday, deCember 7

Friday, deCember 12

Jim Brunberg and Jeff Pehrson of Further

Double Album release Party:

An evening of Comedy With

tickets range from $30-$72

blame Sally

Paige anderson & the Fearless Kin / halfpence & haypenny

$18 members, $22 non-member

$15 members, $18 non-member

$20 members, $25 non-member

Saturday, February 7

WedneSday, deCember 31

Sunday, January 18

Saturday, January 24

& the delta rhythm Kings

John Gorka

dan hicks and the hot licks

tickets range from $35-$130

$20 members, $22 non-member

$25 members, $28 non-member

Saturday, January 31

tueSday, February 3

Friday, February 20

Jesse Cook

royal Southern brotherhood

Special Guests: t Sisters

$40 members, $45 non-member

$22 members, $25 non-member

$22 members, $25 non-member

veteranS memorial auditorium 255 S. Auburn St., GrASS VAlley

an intimate solo/acoustic performance by

ne yea W eve rS !

roy rogers

veteranS memorial auditorium 255 S. Auburn St., GrASS VAlley $38 members, $48 non-member, $58 premium

Steve hytner

Special Guest: Katie rubin

alo

530.274.8384 • 314 W. Main St., GraSS Valley all shows at our intimate main StaGe theater unless otherwise noted

b e Co m e A m e m b e r & SAV e

For a complete listing of events visit:

theCenterFortheartS.orG SubmergeMag.com

Issue 175 • November 17 – December 1, 2014

*Ticket prices do not include applicable fees

3

175 2014

contents

Submerge: an independently owned entertainment/lifestyle publication available for free biweekly throughout the greater Sacramento area.

18

14 09

20 cofounder/ Editor in Chief/Art Director

Melissa Welliver melissa@submergemag.com cofounder/ Advertising Director

Jonathan Carabba jonathan@submergemag.com senior editor

James Barone Assistant Editor

Mandy Pearson

Contributing Writers

Zach Ahern, Amber Amey, Joe Atkins, Robin Bacior, Corey Bloom, Bocephus Chigger, Justin Cox, Alia Cruz, Julie De La Torre, Josh Fernandez, Catherine Foss, Blake Gillespie, Fabian Garcia, Lovelle Harris, Niki Kangas, Nur Kausar, John Phillips, Ryan Prado, Steph Rodriguez, Andrew C. Russell, Amy Serna, Jacob Sprecher, Jenn Walker

Follow us on Twitter & Instagram! @SubmergeMag

4

Submerge your senses

24

calendar

30

the shallow end

916.441.3803 info@submergemag.com

front Cover Photo of hoods

by Gabrielle Serra

Issue 175 • November 17 – December 1, 2014

The Optimistic Pessimist

10 12 14 18 20 22

1009 22 Street, Suite 3 Sacramento, Calif. 95816

Contributing photographers

The Stream

09

nd

printed on recycled paper

Dive in

the grindhouse

Submerge

Wesley Davis, Adam Dillion, Phill Mamula, Liz Simpson, Nicholas Wray

Submergemag.com

04 06 08

november 17 – December 1

dumb and dumber to

Samuel horne's lord pawn chris robinson brotherhood hoods a.c. myles

All content is property of Submerge and may not be reproduced without permission. Submerge is both owned and published by Submerge Media.

All opinions expressed throughout Submerge are those of the author and do not necessarily mean we all share those opinions. Feel free to take a copy or two for free, but please don’t remove our papers or throw them away. Submerge welcomes letters of all kinds, whether they are full of love or hate. We want to know what is on your mind, so feel free to contact us via snail mail at 1009 22nd Street, Suite 3 Sacramento, Calif. 95816. Or you can e-mail us at info@submergemag.com.

dive in It’s Thanks-mo-fogiving Time Melissa welliver melissa@submergemag.com I’ve got to admit, this time of year tends to make me grumpy. First it starts with the days getting shorter and colder. It makes it so hard to do anything outdoorsy when I finally get off work and it’s dark. Then the Christmas commercials and propaganda start and I haven’t even had a chance to stuff my face with turkey.

Can we just get through Thanksgiving then think about Christmas, please?! And maybe you’re like me and you don’t get to even go home to hang out with your family on Thanksgiving because you’re stuck working. I don’t cook a good Turkey. I tried once, the bird turned out pretty dry and it was expensive. Cooking a good turkey, I mean, isn’t that what moms are for? I know, I know, can somebody call the wambulance already?

Then it hits me every year, like a straight slap to the face. Thanks-muthafuckin-giving. It’s easy to get caught up in being Ms. Grumpy Pants, but as cheesy as it sounds the classic question “What are you thankful for?” clears the negativity right out of me. Every year, without fail, I start thinking about how grateful I am and what I have and more importantly who I have in my life.

Sure, while I don’t get to hang with the family on this coming Turkey Day, I’m grateful for the health of my family and know I will see them soon. I’m grateful that I’m working, making a publication about art and entertainment and I realize I’m surrounded by over a dozen people who come together issue by issue to contribute their amazing talents to these very pages.

I’m thankful I get to do that with not only talented creatives and friends, but also my husband. I appreciate that our advertisers believe in Submerge and support this local publication, because without them their would be no ink on the page.

I’m thankful, grateful, appreciative...I think you get the point.

And just so you know, I’m also thankful for you, our readers, because if you didn’t pick up Submerge, what would be the point? If you are thankful for Submerge and love the content we bring you every other week, please visit and support our advertisers during the holidays and beyond. Please let them know that you saw their ad in Submerge.

Enjoy all the good reads in issue #175!

Melissa

back Cover Photo of Chris Robinson Brotherhood by Matthew Mendenhall.

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

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Issue 175 • November 17 – December 1, 2014

5

The stream A-Trak, Oliver and Gigamesh to Headline TBD Fest's Massive New Years Eve Block Party

Local Reggae/Hip-Hop Artist J Ras Drops New Album, Find My Way

Iconoclast Robot’s EP Release Show Is Nov. 26 at Assembly!

Unseen Heroes Launching “DISPLAY: California” Retail Concept In Oak Park On Nov. 28 Jonathan Carabba Send regional news tips to info@submergemag.com

A-Trak

Oliver

Gigamesh

You'd think that the organizers of the wildly successful three-day blowout TBD Fest would be worn out and ready for a break from producing large scale events, but you'd be wrong! Just as this issue was going to press we got word from TBD's Clay Nutting and Michael Hargis that they are already back in business and are planning a massive New Year's Eve Block Party in the heart of Midtown at 20th and J streets and that Submerge had been tapped to be their exclusive media sponsor! And oh, what a party it will be!

We're excited to announce that headlining will be the insanely popular Montreal-born and New York-based DJ A-Trak! Besides being one of the most sought-after DJs/producers in the world (having worked with the likes of Kanye West and Jay-Z), A-Trak is also the founder of the influential, taste-making label Fool's Gold Records (home to Danny Brown, Run the Jewels, Kid Sister and tons of other rad hip-hop and/ or electronic artists). A-Trak's DJ sets are super diverse, crazy energetic and full of dance floor bangers. Co-headlining will be a producer/DJ duo known as Oliver who have gotten crowds moving at some of the world's largest electronic festivals and have toured with and/or remixed tracks for popular groups like Chromeo and Foster the People. Also receiving top billing is Minneapolisbased producer/songwriter Gigamesh and there are more acts to-be-announced soon, so keep an eye out at Tbdfest.com or Facebook.com/tbdfest for more artist announcements, further word on ticket prices, VIP options, etc. The party will be 21-plus and will kick off at 7 p.m. Keep an eye out for more coverage in our next couple issues!

The foothills of Northern California are a breeding ground for creative talent.

Reggae/hip-hop/ dancehall artist J Ras is just one of a seemingly endless list of people churning out quality tunes from towns like Grass Valley, Auburn, Nevada City, etc. J Ras’ newest full-length album Find My Way just dropped last week and quickly started building some major hype online, making it all the way to the No. 1 spot of the “100 best selling reggae songs” chart on iTunes on Nov. 12, 2014, ahead of headlining reggae acts like Common Kings, The Movement and Iration. “Feeling so blessed and grateful for all of the support and feedback from this album,” J Ras wrote on his Facebook page (Facebook.com/JRasMusic) upon announcing the big news with a screen capture of the website Musicianwages.com, which tracks up-to-date sales on the albums released each week.

J Ras’ recent success comes as no surprise, as he spent the entire summer performing on Warped Tour, grinding hard and self-promoting every single day all across the country. J Ras is living proof of the old “hard work pays off” saying.

“It was seriously crazy but so much fun,” J Ras told Submerge of his time on Warped. “I think of it like boot camp for musicians. If you can make it through Warped Tour, you’re ready for any other tour!”

Find My Way is 10 tracks and features guest appearances from Scarub of the Living Legends hip-hop collective, Jamaican reggae artist Prezident Brown and a few others. It’s out now on iTunes and Spotify. You can see J Ras live for free on Nov. 20 at the sure-to-be-stoney, 18-and-over “Dabstix Harvest Party” (1031 Junction Boulevard., Roseville) at 3 p.m. He’ll also be playing in Tahoe City on Nov. 28 at Hacienda Del Lago (760 North Lake Boulevard No. 30) and his next Sacramento show is Dec. 26 at Capitol Garage (1500 K Street).

Visit Jrasmusic.com for more information and to sample some tunes.

Last Cut wasn’t so super?

Get it fixed at anthony’s barbershop 2408 21st st • Sac • sacramentobarbershop.com (916) 457-1120 • Tues-Fri 9am-6pm • saT 10am-4pm

6

Issue 175 • November 17 – December 1, 2014

If you’re the type of person who seeks out rad creative happenings in the Sacramento region (and if you’re reading Submerge, you likely are!), chances are you’ve been to an Unseen Heroes event whether you knew it or not. They’re responsible for such recurring events as GOOD: Street Food and Design Market, Gather Oak Park and many others. Unseen Heroes' newest retail concept “DISPLAY: California” is launching Nov. 28 at 3433 Broadway, just in time to do some holiday shopping!

“Simply put, DISPLAY is a revolving pop-up concept,” Unseen Heroes co-founder Roshaun Davis says in their preview video for DISPLAY (look it up on Vimeo). He further explains: “What that means is every four to eight weeks, we’re going to completely change the retail experience. From design, to the things that we sell in the store, to the way things are laid out, to the daily happenings in the store, they’re all going to change. It comes with the intention of exposing the creativity that happens when we all work together.”

Unseen Heroes first launched the DISPLAY concept in “beta mode” in Emeryville and after getting great feedback from both shoppers and the artists/designers/brands selling their goods, these creative event gurus are excited to bring the concept to Sacramento’s Oak Park neighborhood.

“Sacramento is perfect for this kind of concept,” Davis says in the video. “Not only because it is the capital of California, but there is also this creative zeitgeist that is happening right now.”

On Nov. 28, Unseen Heroes will debut DISPLAY: California with their “Holladay” market, which will feature over 30 designers’ goods from brands like Madeline Trait, Urban Philosophy, Why Girls Go Astray, Kings Tribe, Ana Apple and many others. So if you want to get a glimpse into what Oak Park’s future looks like when it comes to retail, all while scoring some unique items for those on your holiday shopping list, make sure to check out DISPLAY. For more information, visit Unseen-heroes.com or Facebook.com/unseenheroes.

Local alt-rock/hip-hop/soul group Iconoclast Robot is following up their solid 2012 full-length The Reti Opening with a brand new 6-track EP called BrightLights/DarkDepths. Citing influences ranging from The Roots to Radiohead to Rage Against the Machine, Iconoclast Robot have been steadily building a name for themselves in the local scene ever since forming in 2011, having since scored gigs at Concerts In the Park, Ace of Spades and many other reputable venues and events. Their new EP was recorded in September and October at Freqy Music Studio and was engineered and produced by Andrew Lozano. It features some stellar guest performers from the likes of emcee extraordinaire Rasar (formerly Random Abiladeze), violin work from Joe Kye (of the local band Joseph in the Well), as well as appearances from Zebulon and Danny Franco.

“The EP BrightLights/DarkDepths is cinematic soundscapes, symphonic backdrops,” guitarist Russell Boucher told Submerge. “Lyrically it’s driven by authority/political figures, religious pitfalls and found/failed love.”

Iconoclast Robot is throwing one helluva release show at Assembly (1000 K Street) on Wednesday, Nov. 26 with support from local heavy hitters James Cavern and the Council, DLRN, and Good Samaritans. Doors open at 8 p.m., all ages are welcome, and the cover is $12 at the door ($10 in advance). This will likely be one of the last shows at Assembly for a while, as word recently got out that the venue’s current operators (the peeps from Ace of Spades) are vacating the space at the end of November and are looking to purchase/operate a new venue sometime soon (more on that later!). No word yet on who will take over the Assembly space after November. In the meantime, visit Iconoclastrobot.com for more information on this talented local group.

Nov 18

Wild Ones

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imf presents

w/ R A dI AT ION CI T y, Au T uMN Sk y w/ QuINN HEdgE S, AubuRN ROA d,

HEl d TO HEIgH T S, T R Av IS H Ay E S A Nd T HE yOuNg dA zE, ISl A Nd Of bl ACk A Nd W HI T E

b a be

Nov 21

bOmbshell s: MIdTOW N MOx IE S buRl E SQuE

Nov 23

turbO fruits

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18 15 19 T H S T R E E T, S A C R A M E N T O, C A 9 5 8 11 18 +, W I T C H R O O M S A C .C O M

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

SubmergeMag.com

Issue 175 • November 17 – December 1, 2014

7

The Optimistic Pessimist Presidents sometimes pardon a turkey for Thanksgiving, saving the bird from death’s cruel clutches. When it happens, we are told that the turkeys will be “sent to a farm” where they will live out their days in the joyous company of other turkeys. Your parents probably told you the same thing when your dog died. They lied to you then, and the government is lying to you now; just ask Edward Snowden.

Did you know that these pardoned turkeys have been funneled into CIA training camps since November 2001? It was a genius idea, really.

While many religions have restrictions for certain type of foods, most don’t have a problem with turkey. This dietary backdoor allowed the CIA’s special ops turkeys (aka the Jive Turkeys) to infiltrate deep into the heart of radical religious organizations around the world.

At first, the program was a success. The information was pouring in like gravy, but the spies’ thirst for intel could not be quenched.

The CIA kept pushing the Jive Turkeys into more and more dangerous missions and some of them weren’t making it back alive. “What’s the point of a presidential pardon if we just end up dead somewhere in the Middle East?” they’d

squawk, but their protests fell on deaf ears at the Company.

When the CIA assigned the Jive Turkeys with the impossible task of destroying ISIS, the birds decided they’d had enough. They wanted to help their fellow feathered friends back home and they couldn’t do that from Iraq or Syria. They needed to stop the holiday massacres that were taking place in the United States year after year.

When they refused to fight, the CIA finally understood that turkeys weren’t as simple as tracing your hand on a piece of paper and adding a beak. Complex or not, the CIA wasn’t about to let their prized birds get away with all of their secrets. The Company sent out a squad of assassins to kill the Jive Turkeys, but their goons were no match. The assassins were slaughtered and the Jive Turkeys escaped to Switzerland, where they were given temporary asylum.

Switzerland’s sheltering of the Jive Turkeys should have come as no surprise to the CIA; turkey and Swiss have maintained a close relationship for centuries. The Swiss were hip to the cause and supplied the Jive Turkeys with their famous knives for the pending battle.

Switzerland also gave the birds time to regroup

Flipping the Bird Bocephus Chigger bocephus@submergemag.com and plan their first major attack as free turkeys before the dreaded holidays were upon them again.

The Butterball Turkey Company had systematically decimated the turkey population for decades. The Jive Turkeys needed to stop their treachery once and for all, so they swooped into Butterball HQ, overwhelmed the paltry security detail and forced the CEO of Butterball to tell his turkey farmers to free millions of Butterball turkeys around the country. When they saw that it was done, the turkeys removed the CEO’s head and stuffed his body full of bread, celery, onions and spices before baking him in an oven at 325 degrees for about 12 hours.

Newly freed turkeys flooded the streets to join the Jive Turkeys. A million turkeys ended up occupying Butterball HQ for over a month. The Jive Turkeys were well trained and had planned meticulously. Try as they might, the military could not wrestle control of the corporate offices from the Jive Turkeys and they were only growing stronger.

Their attacks grew bolder. The Jive Turkeys killed Jared from Subway for pushing all those low-fat turkey subs. Jennie-O found herself ground up and shrinkwrapped into one-pound packages as well. Copies of A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving were burned in effigy.

The military couldn’t stop the Jive Turkeys, but the poor people could. The nation's hungry masses descended on their nests and turkeys started to go missing by the dozens. Hoping to capitalize on public sentiment, the army set up several large deep fryers and smokers in strategic locations around the Jive Turkeys’ camps. They invited world-renowned chefs to prepare collard greens, mashed potatoes, stuffing, cranberry sauce, candied yams and rolls for the guntoting public and their freshly killed turkeys.

In the end, the Jive Turkeys fought hard, but their beaks couldn’t seem to pierce the layers of fat surrounding the Americans’ vital organs. They also didn’t foresee how hungry the Americans would actually be. Not even tryptophan could save the Jive Turkeys from the gnashing teeth of their captors.

Every turkey in the country was dead within a week and humanity was saved.

This year, when you eat your holiday turkey, remember that that turkey could have been eating you if it weren’t for your fellow Americans. They sacrificed everything to fight indigestion and tight pants, just so you could live another day without a turkey pecking your god damn eye out. Now why don’t you be thankful for that?

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8

Issue 175 • November 17 – December 1, 2014

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

The grindhouse

2708 J Street Sacramento 916.441.4693 HarlowS.com SoNgS AND StoriES:

Art AlExAkiS of EvErclEAr

Just When I Think You Couldn’t Possibly Be Any Dumber Dumb and Dumber To Rated pg-13 Words Jacob Sprecher Leaving the theater Thursday night in a mystified stupor, I had the inkling to drive straight home and go full blown Kerouac on this review, a one-paragraph stream of consciousness devoid of any and all punctuation—just a flurry of frantic observations attempting to explain how something could be so positively putrid even with expectations coming in at a palpable low. But let’s start with some facts.

Fact 1: The Farrelly Brothers haven’t made a decent movie in 14 years.

Fact 2: The Farrelly Brothers have recently peaked in heinousness, their penultimate release being the loathsome Three Stooges.

Fact 3: The first Dumb and Dumber came out 20 years ago, leaving the statute of limitations for releasing a sequel well surpassed.

But of course there is no such statute of limitations. This is Thunderdome, this is ‘Nam, there are no rules. Hence Dumb and Dumber To. I’m not sure whether my being a loyal fan of the original made me more or less likely to hate this movie. I view Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniel’s 1994 performances as classic; masterful slapstick comedy from lovable idiots, seemingly timeless in nature. I’d go as far as to say that Dumb and Dumber is one of the best comedies of its era, while still relevant to a younger generation of kids. (I learned the latter assertion firsthand while subbing high school during the final week of class, when every period becomes a 45-minute film festival.) Of course the new installment would be incapable of meeting my, or anyone else’s, reverence for the first—especially considering that nobody in the last decade was clamoring for a sequel to begin with—but does that mean it had to be completely rotten? No! And yet, it is.

The basic gist is that 20 years after the misadventure with Mary Swanson, Lloyd (Carrey) is catatonically confined to a wheelchair at a mental care facility, having never recovered from the heartbreak of losing his one true love. Harry (Daniels), devoted friend that he is, still continues to visit Lloyd once a week, and one day announces that he is dying of kidney failure. Lloyd then reveals he’s been faking the entire time, quickly SubmergeMag.com

reuniting the pair to track down Harry’s long-lost daughter in the hopes of a familial kidney transplant.

But who really cares about the plot in a movie like this? Just make us laugh. That’s all we ask! What becomes immediately apparent, however, is that this is not the same Lloyd Christmas and Harry Dunne of 1994. As you’ll sometimes notice on a show like Saturday Night Live when a former cast member comes back to host years later, they simply can’t recapture the mood or magic of characters they portrayed in the past.

Chris Farley reprising Matt Foley, Dan Aykroyd reprising Irwin Mainway—pick one of a hundred examples. Such is most certainly the case for Carrey and Daniels, who force themselves into the once-familiar roles with the grace of G.G. Allin at a fecal matter peep show.

Blame the writing if you like, because it’s dreadful. Aside from the pathetic and constant recycling of every comedic morsel possible from the original, all the crude-but-cute humor that made the first film so endearing is thrown right out the window. Instead we’re just left with crude, and poorly executed at that. A “me love you longtime” bit mocking Asians? Sure! A menstruation gag replete with the stained white pants of a 12-yearold girl? Why not? Or maybe a fantasy in which Harry instructs Lloyd to “bone” his daughter “like a chicken cutlet.” Bring it on!

Really, I love dick and fart jokes as much as anyone. More than most, even. But Jesus Christ, gimme something to work with here.

Tastelessness can be tasteful, but only when it’s actually funny! I mean is this a fucking Artie Lange production, or what? Essentially, if you were to stuff the Dumb and Dumber To synopsis inside a fortune cookie, the (mis)fortune would read something like this: Where Harry and Lloyd were once sweet, blissful morons, they are now obnoxious, perverted assholes.

And there isn’t much else to say. I truly hated this movie. One hour and 40 minutes of insufferable tripe, a complete and total embarrassment. I will always love the Farrelly Brothers for giving us three fabulous comedies over a four-year span of greatness, but they’re an absolute joke at this point, and not in the way they’d like. We’re talking Kevin Smith territory here.

And nobody wants to be compared to Kevin Smith.

Not even Kevin Smith.

friDAY

MoNDAY

9PM $25

11 /21

12 /01

WEDNESDAY 6:30PM $17.50adv

11 /19 friDAY

5:30PM $22 all ages

SAtUrDAY

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11 /21 11 /22

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SZA

JAckiE gAgE

6PM $10 all ages

MoNDAY

12 /08

6PM $20 all ages

Los straightjackets (fEAt. DEkE DickErSoN)

AbNEY PArk ForeverLand

(MichAEl JAckSoN tribUtE)

SolD oUt

SUNDAY

7PM $15

MoNDAY

7PM $10adv

loS ANgElES PolicE DEPArtMENt

tUESDAY

8PM $13adv

bUSDrivEr

friDAY

6PM $18 all ages

LiL deBBie

friDAY

9:30PM $15

11 /23 11 /24 11 /25 11 /28 11 /28

StUrgill SiMPSoN avi BuFFaLo

PUrPlE oNES (PriNcE tribUtE)

SAtUrDAY

7PM $17

Mary youngBLood

SAtUrDAY

9:45PM $12adv

thE chEESEbAllS

11 /29 11 /29

*all

times are d o or times*

COMING SOON 11/30 karen lovely 12/02 chris robinson brotherhood 12/05 goapele 12/06 Andy Mckee 12/07 california honeydrops 12/11 Jim “kimo” West (early show)

12/11 black Uhuru

12/12 hot buttered rum 12/13 Dilated Peoples 12/16 charlie hunter / Scott Amendola 12/19 haas kowert tice 12/28 Anuhea 12/31 NYE w/ lovefool 01/17 Whitey Morgan and the 78s

01/22 Portland cello Project 01/28 New Mastersounds 01/29 Sage francis 01/30 Will kimbrough 02/7 Steelin’ Dan 02/14 Mumbo gumbo 02/17 Wild child 02/19 Alo

Issue 175 • November 17 – December 1, 2014

9

Your Senses

SEE

Global Winter Wonderland at Cal Expo • Nov. 22 - Jan. 4 “Life isn’t perfect but your hair can be.”

-Monica MuLcahy

Get

Beautiful Hair For The Holidays!

Appointments Available!

Book online or call today

shakeitoffsalon.CoM

916.905.6725

Men, Women & Children Cuts • Color • Highlights • Blowouts • Wax

Get ready for a bundled-up holiday family outing. The Global Winter Wonderland is set to transform 16 acres of Cal Expo into an awe-inspiring illuminated world like you’ve never seen! This holiday festival and multi-cultural celebration runs from Nov. 22 through Jan. 4 and will feature over 70 hand-built illuminated replicas of famous landmarks and icons from all over the world (think Eiffel Tower, Statue of Liberty, Taj Mahal, etc.). Some of the illuminated displays will be massive, with the biggest ones towering to heights of around 50 feet! There will also be two stages with live music and dance performances, food and drinks available, shopping at the holiday bazaar, and all sorts of other fun activities. In its first three years, GWW drew more than 1 million visitors to Santa Clara in 2011 and 2012, and to Atlanta, Georgia in 2013. This year marks the first time GWW has come to Sacramento. “We explored many cities around the country and chose Sacramento because of all the culture, beauty and convenience the region has to offer,” writes GWW founder and CEO Lulu Huang at Globalwonderland.com. “It’s a family-friendly community and we look forward to welcoming people of all ages to experience the magic of Global Winter Wonderland.” Huang said they expect to host more than 400,000 visitors this holiday season! Admission is $16 for adults, $12 for children and seniors (kids under 3 are free), and unlimited ride wristbands are only $25. There are also family fun packs and season passes available, so visit their website to see all the different ticketing options. This fall/winter, let there be light!

621 Capitol Mall {inside sola salon} saCraMento, California

TOUCH

Win Some Big Bucks at Goldfield’s Cornhole Tournament Nov. 22

Cornhole (aka bean bag toss) is a super fun and increasingly popular “lawn game” that is only made better by introducing plenty of adult beverages! Lucky for you, Midtown’s newest country/rock bar, Goldfield Trading Post (1630 J Street), and Orangevale-based OV Cornhole and Games are teaming up to throw a Cornhole Tournament this Saturday, Nov. 22 at Goldfield. This will be a double-elimination, blind draw team contest with a $200 cash prize for first place, $100 for second place and a Goldfield gift card for third place. There will be a limited amount of contestants allowed, so make sure to sign up early if you’re interested in getting in on the action.

Visit Facebook.com/OVCornhole or Goldfieldtradingpost.com to learn more about how to sign up.

10

Issue 175 • November 17 – December 1, 2014

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

HEAR

SHOWS AT SAC STATE

Comedian Keith Lowell Jensen’s Atheist Christmas CD/DVD Release Party!

SPONSORED BY UNIQUE PROGRAMS FOR MORE INFO VISIT OUR WEBSITE OR CALL 278–6997

WWW.SACSTATEUNIQUE.COM

Dec. 4

Sacramento funny man Keith Lowell Jensen is back at it again with his new album Atheist Christmas, which will be released Nov. 25 on Stand Up! Records (his second release for the label and fourth overall). Atheist Christmas is a CD/DVD combo pack; the video portion was recorded right here at Sacramento Comedy Spot early last December, and the audio portion was recorded just a couple days after at Punch Line in San Francisco. Submerge was lucky enough to get an early sneak peek at the video special and we can vouch that it is absolutely hilarious! There are cute little Christmas decorations behind him on stage and multiple camera angles. KLJ’s material ranges from relatable jokes about his daughter acting like a tiger, to weird/traumatic childhood experiences at church camps, to much more outlandish and slightly embarrassing jokes about his doctor sticking fingers up his ass, masturbation and how his life peaked in elementary school (it’s a funny story involving bird shit). You know, everyday normal conversation-type stuff for a comedian. “I do know that I’ve been talking about a lot of depressing stuff,” Jensen says at one point. “But I did warn you that this was going to be a Christmas special!” Jensen is having a Sacramento release show for Atheist Christmas on Thursday, Dec. 4 at Punch Line Comedy Club on Arden Way. Joining him on stage will be some of his best comedy pals Johnny Taylor, Matt Lieb, Michael Patten and Robert Berry. Show starts at 8 p.m., is 18-and-over, $15 cover charge, and there’s a two-drink minimum. For more information on Keith Lowell Jensen and to buy Atheist Christmas, visit Kljshop.com or Rockass.net.

NOONER

NOONER

THE THREE WAY

IDARA

WED • NOV 19 • 12P • UNIVERSITY UNION REDWOOD ROOM

WED • DEC 3 • 12P • UNIVERSITY UNION REDWOOD ROOM

FREE: rock & roll concert

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MOVIE

GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY WED • NOV 20 • 730P • UNIVERSITY UNION BALLROOM FREE: special free screening of the 2014 action, sci-fi adventure movie

EVENT

TASTE

Three Local Restaurants Serving Up Thanksgiving Feasts to Save You the Hassle of Cooking and Cleaning (Including a Vegan Option) • Nov. 27

Thanksgiving can be a wonderful holiday spent indulging with family or friends, but it can also be a pain in the butt to do all that cooking and cleaning! Luckily, many of Sacramento’s great restaurants are open on Turkey Day, offering reasonably priced feasts (with all the fixins) to save you any hassle. Here are just three of our favorite options, but there are many more offering Thanksgiving feasts if you just search around. Make reservations early; most of these places will fill up and/or sell out!

Cafe Vinoteca (3535 Fair Oaks Blvd.)

Ten22 (1022 2nd Street)

$30 adults, $15 children up to 12. Full meal including Roast Turkey, Classic Herb Dressing, Roasted Brussels Sprouts with Bacon, Garlic Mashed Potatoes with Gravy, Sweet Potato Mash, Cranberry Relish, Corn, Fresh Pumpkin or Banana Cream Pie. Vegetarian options available as well as to-go options. Reservations required for dine-in. (916) 487-1331.

$34.95 adults, $10.22 for kids. Fourcourse meal including Farmer’s Cheese and Cranberry Fondue, Bloomsdale Spinach and Roasted Squash Salad, (one of the following for main course) Roasted Duroc Pork Shoulder, Leg of Superior Lamb, Maple Brined Free-Range Turkey Breast or Organic Fall Squash Risotto. Dessert is Pumpkin Cheesecake or Chocolate Mousse Cake. Reservations recommended. (916) 441-2211.

SubmergeMag.com

Plum Cafe and Bakery (2315 K Street) Order ahead of time for delicious to-go vegan, vegetarian and even glutenfree Thanksgiving options from Plum Cafe! It's $25 per person for one entree and three sides, or a la carte items are available as well. Entree choices include Lentil Loaf with Stuffing and Rich Mushroom Gravy, King “Chicken” in Rich Creamy Wine Sauce and Fresh Vegetables over Biscuits (served over rice for gluten-free option), and Sliced Tofurky with Stuffing and Rich Mushroom Gravy. Sides include Butternut Squash Soup (gluten-free), Creamy Garlic Mashed Potatoes (gluten-free), Broccoli Casserole with Button Mushrooms topped with Fried Onions (also gluten-free), and Savory Homemade Stuffing! (916) 706-3302.

Place order by Nov. 20!

THUR • DEC 4 • 7P • UNIVERSITY UNION BALLROOM FREE: competition showcasing local bands

A Mile Till Dawn Average League Control Epsilona Good Neighbor Kids

Hellen’s Wake Magic Bullets Mr. Hooper The Shafts The Stand Out State

Issue 175 • November 17 – December 1, 2014

11

1/2 Industry nI g ht off Thursdays

eveRyThing 10pm To FRom The 12am

bar!

2718 J Street Sacramento

916.706.2275 • TheRedRabbit.net Facebook.com/SacRabbit

12

Home Away From Home Samuel Horne’s Tavern

719 Sutter Street • folsom

Words Niki Kangas | photos liz simpson Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name. Most of you readers will recognize that line from the theme song to Cheers, and Samuel Horne’s Tavern, although I’d never been before, has that same welcoming, cozy and low-key vibe as the famed sitcom Boston bar. But Samuel Horne’s beer game is strong—clearly craft beers are their focus although they also have a full bar and serve great food. Situated on Sutter street in Folsom, an already old-timey location with rows of Gold Rush-era historic buildings, Samuel Horne’s Tavern nails it with their beer list and gives even a new customer that second-home feeling.

At the end of this month, Samuel Horne’s celebrates its fifth anniversary, and has

Issue 175 • November 17 – December 1, 2014

planned a five-day celebration chock-full of beer-centric events (see sidebar). Judging by the great experience I had there, Sam Horne’s is here to stay, and well worth the trip.

Before even entering the tavern, I was in love with the atmosphere surrounding it. I’ve never ventured to Old Folsom before, and I was gushing to photographer Liz about how freaking rad it is. Once inside, they had me hook, line and sinker.

There are brown leather booths lining the side walls, and two high tops that seat six apiece down the middle. There are only three stools along the wooden bar that butts up against the kitchen at the back.

The decor feels homey, like an old world tavern. On the side wall by the bar, each beer has

its own square chalkboard sign, listing the beer name, place of origin, ABV percentage and a spectrum of how pale, malty and hoppy the beer is. Other signage throughout the tavern describes “How to Enjoy Your Beer Without Being a Beer Snob,” and explains how seating and ordering works.

The bartender was a cool brunette named Bri who was helpful, informative, to the point and had a good sense of humor coupled with a twinkle in her eye. Her business card said “RHBOW” as her title. I asked her what that meant, to which she replied, “We had a bad review on yelp once, and I used to be a redhead, and they called me ‘Red-headed Bitch on Wheels.’”

It was difficult to decide what to order, because everything from the food to the beer looked amazing. We finally

decided on the bartenderrecommended Cootie Burger, which has pepperjack cheese, raw spinach, serrano aioli and fiery roasted serrano chilies, all topped with an over-easy egg. It was served with perfectly crisp, slightly greasy and plenty salty shoestring fries. We also got the mac and cheese with jalapeño bacon, and a soft pretzel with basil aioli, garlic aioli, lemon aioli and pub cheese dipping sauces. To drink, we had the Old Republic Frontier from Nevada City, an ale on the pale and malty side; the Lagunitas Born Yesterday fresh hop IPA from Petaluma; and two shots of tequila (the finest well variety), always a good jump start to a girl’s night out.

Old Republic’s Frontier is a smooth, mellow ale with distinguishable yet not overpowering hoppy and malty notes. Lagunitas’ Born Yesterday is in-your-face hoppy and sweet, and was akin to drinking a wet bag of nugs—like some good ass weed, not bammer shit.

The gluttonous Cootie Burger

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

was medium rare, and the drippy fried egg oozed down the salty assemblage. The mac and cheese with added jalapeño bacon was gratuitously delicious, and the pretzel was cooked perfectly and livened up to gourmet status by the accompanying dips.

I was duly impressed with the food; but most of all, the energy of the place and the beer is what really sold me and will keep me going back.

Behind the bar, the “Buy a Pal a Pint” chalkboard hangs, listing the names of people for whom someone has paid it forward and shelled out for a friend to enjoy a beer on them.

Explains owner Dylan Mauro, “People love it, they love to see their names up there, and if someone buys them a beer, they love buying a beer for someone else. It’s something that works in with what the feel of the whole place is about.”

Just about every week, Sam’s hosts some kind of event focused on a different brewery.

A representative might come and feature a few different local beers, encouraging customers to try something new. Whenever possible, a charity benefits from these events, something that furthers the feel-good nature of the tavern.

In spite of its charm and super tight location, Sam’s

went through some tough times. “We went through the whole revitalization of historic Folsom, and that was a huge challenge,” Mauro says. “It was tough to get down here, and that kind of turned people off.

Then the way that a tavern runs, too—no table service. It takes our clientele getting used to, it’s not the norm in the United States. You can finish your food and don’t have to leave; we’re not turning over tables like a traditional restaurant.”

Mauro weighs in on why he opened up shop, and what it means to be celebrating Sam Horne’s fifth year. “The idea was to have it be based on a European home-away-fromhome kind of feel. I’ve always been in the beer business, and this was something that I’d always wanted to do. The timing was right; I started it up at the newest wave of craft beer taking off. The people that come here are anyone looking for that kind of atmosphere. It’s attractive to the younger crowd who wants to have quality beer and hang out, but we get a more mature clientele too because they don’t have to deal with loud music and people getting crazy. Our passion is for local craft beers.

For our fifth anniversary, we want to say thanks to the people that have gotten us here.”

5

ways to celebrate Sam Horne’s big

5

Sunday, Nov. 30

Sam Horne’s bartenders will compile a list of their favorite cocktails and a dollar from each one sold will benefit the Folsom Cordova Partnership charity.

Open 11am–1am Every Day

1050 20th Street, Sacramento, CA blockbutcherbar.com

Monday, Dec. 1 Sam Horne’s love those who love great beer, so bring in a receipt from another local beer joint and they will give you 10 percent off your bill.

Tuesday, Dec. 2 BBQ Appreciation Day. Regulars, locals, brewery folks, distributor folks— everyone is welcome to enjoy some BBQ.

Wednesday, Dec. 3 Sam’s trivia with trivia about Sam’s, with awesome prizes.

Thursday, Dec. 4 Sam’s big blowout!!! Guest bartenders (carefully chosen from a list of past employees), will pour rare, specialty beers that Sam’s has squirrelled away, as well as some local beers Sam’s staff brewed together.

SubmergeMag.com

Issue 175 • November 17 – December 1, 2014

13

The Gleam and the Grime

Lord Pawn balances his graffiti writing roots with his current life as a professional artist Words Fabian Garcia

I

must have been about 9 years old when I practically shat my pants from my first real world run-in with street graffiti, or at least what my young mind imagined street graffiti to be at the time.

My brother and I were walking home from school in our cozy Elk Grove-bordering neighborhood when we turned a corner and instantly saw five big distorted letters plastered on the adjacent fence next to us.

Dripping in what seemed like only hoursold red spray paint, the looming letters looked something like this:

FUCKu To this day, I’m still not sure if that sloppily written message was saying Fuck U, or simply telling me to beware of FuckO, the newest graffiti boy on the block.

Frankly, it didn’t really matter; what I saw bothered me. Images of older, meaner kids roaming around my neighborhood with spray cans ran through my head as I pictured myself having to deal with one or all of them somewhere in the near future.

My childhood got a good gut check that day over what turned out to be nothing more than a one-time amateur tag job. What I witnessed was most likely done by a first-timer who might have just gotten a hold of his first can of spray

14

Issue 175 • November 17 – December 1, 2014

paint and wanted to let loose on the nozzle for a thrill that, for some, only a canister of color and aerosol can offer.

Twenty-eight-year-old Sacramento graffiti artist Ryan Kroger, who officially paints under the name Lord Pawn, knows that feeling all too well.

Growing up all over Northern California and eventually settling in Sacramento, Pawn says he’s been painting for as long as he can remember.

“It’s something that I loved to do and I just figured it out on my own,” he says. “And honestly, I don’t paint the way you’re really supposed to because I don’t really follow the rules that I was taught in school… I feel like with art, you can kind of break the rules sometimes.”

Pawn says he remembers the days when he too was just a punk kid running around with a skateboard in one hand and a marker pen in the other. It wasn’t long, though, before he discovered spray paint and began writing his graffiti name on any surface he could get his can on.

As he grew older, Pawn ran with a few different graffiti crews in town, going where he wanted and tagging what he wanted. But it wasn’t until he got with Ain’t Life Beautiful (ALB) and, eventually, accepted into the world renowned Legends of Rare Designs (LORDS) that he started to slow down a bit.

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

“I feel like it’s something I did in the past, other fellow writer—what he and other graffiti and sort of something everyone has to go artists call themselves. through at one point,” he says. “So I mean, like, Pawn says he knows the consequences of I do miss it, ‘cause there’s nothing more fun than painting over trains, which can become a federal running out on the freeway and bombing stuff. offense if they go over state lines.

But, I guess I just can’t really do that anymore.”

“If you get caught, you can get in a lot of It’s true. Not only is Pawn well beyond his trouble,” he says. “But I don’t know. It’s like, to juvenile years, but he is also a professional me, it’s sort of something that I’m willing to risk artist now—in spray paint and acrylics—with because it’s not like… you’re not a real criminal. a reputation to maintain and commissions to You know? You’re not stealing, you’re not hurting lock down. anyone. It’s artwork.”

“At least in this town, I’m getting murals and Pawn’s personal time isn’t always spent out stuff like that,” he says of his recent work flow. painting the town red, however. He’ll actually “And I don’t want to be someone the cops are stay home pretty often to work on more detailed after or anything.” pieces that he eventually puts up for sale.

Pawn says he’s been fortunate enough to In fact, his very first art show was held this secure work consistently over the past few years, past Saturday, Nov. 8, at The Bench Art Supply painting mostly character murals for companies and Gallery on 12th Street, where more than 20 like Red Bull, Technine, Tropicana, Sacramento original pieces—some acrylic, some spray paint— Mustang and even the Sacramento Kings. were on display and up for grabs to the public.

He also does residential and commercial Prices went as low as $25 for prints to $5,000 murals for smaller businesses, like a close-up for original works. His $5,000 piece—a 72-bypiece he did of a girl’s face 24-inch acrylic painting he for Dabstix—a smoke shop in spent a whole year working Roseville—about a year-andon—had already sold before “Sometimes it’s a-half ago. the night’s end. good to be in a grimy Ironically, sometimes Pawn says he wants place. I’ve seen some even graffiti abatement to do more art shows—not crazy stuff just going programs will hire him to just for himself, but for the and painting… spray paint over an entire Sacramento art scene as a wall in hopes of deterring whole, which he thinks has You get stories out of other taggers from constantly potential to flourish. it all; you’re going on ruining it. Apparently, the “I think that there’s a lot adventures.” backwards strategy works. to offer in Sacramento, but – Lord Pawn “So they’ll pay for me to there’s just not that much of put a mural on [a wall], and an art scene here, and there the kids will respect it—they won’t go and tag could be,” he says. “It’d be cool to start having it anymore,” Pawn says. “Then the business some bigger artists coming through this city.” doesn’t have to pay to paint over it every week.

Whether he stays in Sacramento to turn the So it’s like a good thing for everybody.” art culture around or heads overseas to further As focused as Pawn has been on his his career, Pawn is sure to bring something new successful painting career lately, he says he and exciting to the table in whatever scene he still gets the itch to the hit the streets every becomes a part of. now and then when his days get to be a little It’s funny how someone who produces such too mundane. gigantic, surreal works of art can sport such a “Sometimes it’s good to be in a grimy place,” small name. But Pawn thinks it suits him. he says. “I’ve seen some crazy stuff just going “For me, it’s more of like a humble thing, you and painting… You get stories out of it all; you’re know? Because everybody wants to be a king, going on adventures.” and really, we’re all just kind of like pawns— Pawn says some of the best graffiti is done we’re the peasants,” he says. “There’s a saying under the radar, usually in the cuts of any that goes like, ‘The pawn is the most powerful given city. Even now, he doesn’t take issue with chess player on the board,’ or something like painting in these remote areas, so long as it’s that. Just because there’s many of you.” out of the way and not hurting anyone.

“You’re sort of out where nobody else goes.

You explore a little bit, find a spot you can paint and you don’t have to be clean necessarily,” he explains. “You can just go and do it. And then you leave something beautiful behind that’s Lord Pawn's show at The Bench Art pretty. And people have to find it for themselves.”

Supply and Gallery, located at 906 At this point in his life, Pawn has struck a 12th Street in Sacramento, runs now good balance between grime and convention. through Nov. 22, so if you haven't gotten there to see it, we urge you While he says he’s mainly interested in to hurry it up! While you're at it, traveling the world to pursue a legitimate art follow Lord Porn on Instagram @ profession from here on out, he’ll still find PawnPaint. That's what the cool kids are doing. himself at rail yards at times painting massive concept projects on train cars with at least one SubmergeMag.com

new HoURS:

1400 ALHAMBRA SAcRAMento BLUeLAMPSAcRAMento.coM 916-455-3400 nov. 18 • 8pm

tuesDAY

weDnesDAY

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nov. 20 • 8pm

Dr. lunA, FurlougH FriDAYs, riotmAker, tHe mAker’s miles, Burn, DArkline

nov. 22 • 8pm

sunDAY

HooDs

tHe piFF DAwgz

w e D n e s D A Y Dec. 3 • 8pm tHe clutter FAmilY singers tHursDAY

leFtY rose, ms. vYBe, mr.

Hooper, mr. p cHill, m-tHeorY, mAx BunDles and more

All ABout rockets AnD more

dec 7 moxy & the influenced, dead end sky, tba

Dec. 4 • 8pm

supAnovA

nov. 25 • 8pm

dec 06 n men holiday party

nov. 30 • 7pm

AlBum releAse sHow

nov. 23 • 8pm

BiggABuDD, sHwizz, mikeDAsHe, tAsk1ne, npire tHe greAt, DJ epik, leFtY

coming soon

nov. 26 • 8pm

tHe AlpHA complex

electric FunerAl (BlAck sABBAtH triBute), motörHeADer (motörHeAD triBute), Ann HAlen (FemAle vAn HAlen triBute)

tuesDAY

4-7pm

nov. 29 • 7:30pm

sAturDAY

mAHtie BusH, mic JorDAn, Dlrn

sunDAY

•

HAppY Hour

psYcHosomAtic, Horseneck, riot rADio

tru steez & tHe DuDes sAturDAY

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reD tApe

mooDie BlAck

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M-f 4PM-2AM SAt 12PM-2AM SUn 10AM-2AM

dec 9 allison chains

(all female alice in chains tribute),

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dec 12 will haven, black map, happy fangs

dec 20 madison ave, misamore, the institution, re-existense

jan 13 dictators nyc, motor666, secretions, cold feelings

everY monDAY 8-10pm • no cover

everY tHursDAY 4-7pm • no cover

everY FriDAY 10pm-2Am • $3 cover

open mic / spoken worD

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DJ wokstAr & guests

Issue 175 • November 17 – December 1, 2014

15

1417 R STREET SACRAMENTO

Christian rashawn • BlaCk sky Cali Bear GanG • Gatlin

T h u R S DAy

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lifE in 24 fRamES StanD Out StatE

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witH SpEcial GuESt

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wolf & Bear

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arden park roots ElEmEnt Of SOul RiOtmakER HERO’S laSt miSSiOn a milE till Dawn

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November 22

w E D N E S DAy

December 3

Issue 175 • November 17 – December 1, 2014

S u N DAy

December 7

S u N DAy

December 14

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

internet friends • lonely avenue

December 16

T u E S DAy

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february 17

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SubmergeMag.com

April 9

w E D N E S DAy

January 28

All Shows All Ages

April 15

Tickets Available @ Dimple Records, Armadillo Online: AceOfSpadesSac.com

By Phone: 1.877.GND.CTRL OR 916.443.9202

Issue 175 • November 17 – December 1, 2014

17

Fringe Elements

Having had his fill of the rock star lifestyle, Chris Robinson nurtures his passion for songwriting with Chris Robinson Brotherhood Words James Barone • photo Matthew Mendenhall

S

o, Chris Robinson called me. Usually when these sort of interviews happen via phone, a publicist calls as a sort of intermediary. The press person will call me, then connect me with whomever I’m scheduled to interview. However, this time around, the enigmatic vocalist who most famously fronted The Black Crowes contacted me directly. As a child of the ‘90s, I was understandably stoked.

“We’re serious about this whole farm-to-table music vibe,” Robinson joked.

He was referring to a line in the bio for his latest music endeavor, Chris Robinson Brotherhood, which states that the band self-identifies as a “farm-to-table psychedelic rock band.” It’s meant to be “tongue in cheek,” Robinson says during our interview, but listening to the band’s latest album, Phosphorescent Harvest, it sort of makes sense. The album opens with the fuzzed-out, spacey-yet-soulful rocker “Shore Power,” which sets the tone for what is to follow without setting up a clear road map. Terminating with the sprawling, atmospheric, aural trip that is “Burn Slow,” Phosphorescent Harvest is sort of like driving cross-country: You traverse across wildly different terrain that nevertheless shares common bonds—it’s all connected.

Phosphorescent Harvest, released April 29, 2014, was recorded in 2013 with producer Thom Monahan. Whereas CRB’s first two albums were pretty much recorded live in the studio, this time around, the band went with a more classic “studio album” approach.

However, since Robinson and company were busy elsewhere, the band members would go to the studio for a few days whenever they were available to record.

“Neal [Casal, guitars/vocals] was working and playing with Phil [Lesh] and doing other stuff, and then he’d come in and do four or five days in the studio,” Robinson, who toured

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Issue 175 • November 17 – December 1, 2014

with The Crowes in 2013, explains. “The Crowes would have a break, Adam [MacDougall, keyboards/vocals] would be sleeping in the studio and doing his thing for six days. When I came home, I would head over there. It worked as a collective. It was loose like that.”

Despite that, the album boasts a coherent and cohesive sound, something Robinson takes great pride in.

“When you hear it at the end, what I was super surprised and happy about, it sounds as live as it was when we cut it on the floor,” he says.

Robinson co-wrote much of Phosphorescent Harvest with Casal. Though Robinson garnered much of the songwriting credits on CRB’s previous albums, he says that Casal’s contributions to the band’s songs have been invaluable since the beginning.

In Casal, Robinson says he’s found a songwriting partner who helps temper his own “kinetic” energy.

“Writing partnerships are funny. In great songwriting partnerships, the people are very different, I think. They’re almost really opposites,” Robinson says. “I might not write a song for a month, and then all of sudden there are four or five of them laying around. Neal is really amazing because he’s more calm and collected. I appreciate his approach, and he appreciates mine. Neal can take the best of the creative outbursts that I have and put them into context so they’re not just manic.”

In the following interview, Robinson expands more upon the writing of Phosphorescent Harvest, explains why The Black Crowes were the best and worst of times and talks about how music helped a weird Southern boy cope with his surroundings.

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

Why do you say CRB has a farm-to-table vibe?

We’re Americans. I have kids and a wife. I want my family to be happy, but how does that fit into the context of joy, happiness, music and a soulful sort of place?

It’s not militant or anything, but I do think that once you start to remove yourself from the trance culture of status, greed and fear, and you start to wake up and realize, well, the sun is still shining.

You’re saying I can go to Harlow’s and be a part of something that’s not like everything else people have been trying to sell me? I don’t think these were conscious decisions. The Black Crowes were a Charles Dickens novel. It was the best of times; it was the worst of times [laughs]. It’s just true. Granted, dynamic experiences enhance those kinds of extremes. But I learned a lot. As I’m moving into my 50s—I’m 48 next month—it’s the same thing with my family, my band, my music and everything. I want to be in control of these vibrations. When I say “I,” I mean “we.” This band is a family. We look at it that way. We own a little family hardware store in a world of Wal-Marts, but we hold the leash in our hands, man, you know what I mean?

I’m a vinyl junkie. I like going to record stores where people know a lot about their records. I know a lot about our presentation, and that’s really all we can control. That’s where our energy is, and all this music and vibes are coming from.

You said your time with the Crowes was the best and worst of times. Do you think that those extremes are what made the music so memorable for people?

I think in a romantic way, and I definitely think in a youthful sense, yes. We were very young when all that stuff started happening with Shake Your Money Maker. I think part of your youth is your lack of perception of things. Since you haven’t had the experience, you throw all that same energy and all that stuff into your anger and frustration. The Black Crowes, although we never represented anything negative or violent, we were definitely not afraid of the anger of youth.

It’s funny now, man, looking back to the ‘90s, we were this band talking about drugs and marijuana legalization, we were on lists back then, you know what I mean? CRB played in Oakland on a 4/20 event, and some dude in the audience yelled out, “four-twenty, man!” and I said, OK, I dig it, but remember, some of us here are older. We used to be outlaws, now we’re patients.

I don’t know… The Black Crowes, man, part of that is the same reason why I don’t want to do it. The worst imaginable thing to happen, like some Kafka novel, would be to wake up and [I’m] 24 again. Oh my God! I know that feeling…

I’m serious! I guess there are some people who didn’t get the adventure or the life they expected or thought [they’d have], they’d be like, “I’d love to be 24 again.” Not me, man!

I read an interview with Neal, and he said that it was the most complex and psychedelic album you’ve ever done, but the songs and vocals were never compromised. Was it difficult to strike a balance between staying true to the framework of the song but still adding all the layers you wanted to?

In this kind of music, that kind of framework is a really light sketch.

In this scenario, like you said, the song is the song, the melody is the melody, the imagery is the imagery, but…the soundscapes and the colors and textures we can use, that’s something that changes and grows as you’re putting together the record. All sorts of changes happen.

It sounds like you were working in reverse with the first two albums. What I mean is, you took the songs you were already playing on the road and then committed them to tape, but this time around it sounds like they were born in the studio. Is that what happened this time around?

Pretty much. There were a few of those songs we’d played: “Meanwhile in the Gods…,” “Jump the Turnstiles” and “Badlands.”

We’ve only been a band just getting into the end of our third year.

When we write a new song, we like to add it into the repertoire.

Some of those songs, like “Shore Power,” we’d had, but didn’t play for anyone. But other songs like “Burn Slow,” I had the verse riff and that weird sort of epic Freudian middle section, and Neal put together all the other stuff...that real trippy part where you SubmergeMag.com

“I started writing songs because I was a fringe element, and writing songs kept me involved with people and not getting too out there, not getting too depressed, not getting too overwhelmed. The one way I could keep afloat as a strange adolescent person in the Deep South was music.

That’s a sincere place to begin, like, wow, the songs helped me figure out what’s going on with me.”

– Chris Robinson break out and you’re in a meadow somewhere, that was something I thought of on the way [to the studio], because I hadn’t even finished the lyrics. A few hours later, then you’re like, “Where did this come from?” We didn’t know what to do with “Burn Slow,” because it was sort of nebulous. We liked the vibes, and we liked the mood, but it wasn’t really a song yet. You never know. That’s what keeps me interested.

We live in a time when people, seemingly, go on TV and are like “Vote for me in a talent show.” I started writing songs because I was a fringe element, and writing songs kept me involved with people and not getting too out there, not getting too depressed, not getting too overwhelmed. The one way I could keep afloat as a strange adolescent person in the Deep South was music. That’s a sincere place to begin, like, wow, the songs helped me figure out what’s going on with me.

You mention being a weird kid in the Deep South. You and CRB just toured there in late October. What’s it like going back there for you now?

I love to visit. The weirdos in the South, or anywhere you go, make traveling worthwhile, and the South is a unique place. My family has been Southern for hundreds and hundreds of years. I see the world through Southern lenses. But it’s also funny, because you tour all around, and the only places other than West Coast, especially California, that people will dance all night on a Tuesday night are South Carolina, Alabama and Georgia. I wish it was less alcohol-driven, but they’re still having a great time! When I’m there, it’s nostalgic, and I’m not a very nostalgic person. I still love barbecue, and I still have great friends there. For me personally, music was a way to release myself. I wanted something different.

My DNA was ready for California. That’s happened to millions and millions of people, and that’s the beautiful thing about this state.

Was California everything you’d thought it would be when you first moved out here?

Everything has good and bad. Different times, different things.

When I was young, and it was the whole rock star part of life, Los Angeles was cool because I never was a giant. I mean, shit, we sold millions of records, I was on MTV 18 times a day. People recognized me and all that stuff, but then Michael Caine would be in the restaurant, you know what I mean? There was a weird level of being anonymous in Los Angeles. Like, if you don’t cater to celebrity culture and lifestyle…like, I was at the taco stand on La Brea at the car wash, I wasn’t eating at Spago. When I moved out here, I was 24 years old, still. It also had a lot of stuff that wasn’t available in Atlanta in Chris Robinson Brotherhood will play Harlow’s in Sacramento on terms of rock ‘n’ roll Dec. 2. Tickets start at $25 and lifestyle choices. can be purchased through Harlows. com. If you’re up for a road trip, CRB will also be playing in nearby Nevada City at Miner and Foundry on Dec. 5 and not-so-nearby Chico at the El Rey Theater on Dec. 6. More info on those shows can be found at Chrisrobinsonbrotherhood.com.

Groovy!

Issue 175 • November 17 – December 1, 2014

19

Be Very Afraid

Though It May Seem the World of Hardcore Is Getting Nicer, Hoods is Just as Scary as Ever Words Josh Fernandez • photo below Gabrielle Serra

I

remember being at a Hoods show back in the ’90s, watching some unfortunate kid getting the shit kicked out of him. For some reason, I stood against the wall, laughing. The poor guy was really getting it bad—Doc Martens to the face and everything— and there I was, giggling like an idiot. That is, until a fist flew out of nowhere into my nose, snapping it clean in two. It must have been some sort of punk rock, karmic retribution. There was blood. Lots of blood. My white T-shirt turned crimson. Nobody came to my rescue. The show went on. I woke up the next morning, proudly sporting one of the most prolific black eyes I’d ever worn. I couldn’t breathe through my nose that had swelled up overnight three times its original size.

Those were the days. Hardcore isn’t like that anymore. Sure, there are some scary bands, but the live shows don’t seem to have as much rage. Maybe people aren’t as angry as they were 20 years ago. Back then, all we had was Sabrina, the Teenage Witch and dial-up Internet connections. We were pissed. The point is that Hoods is still a scary band, maybe even scarier now that singer/guitarist Mikey Hood started drinking and smoking a bunch of weed. In fact, the new album, Gato Negro (Spanish, I think, for “We’re old, but we’re still going to fuck you up”), is just as brutal as their debut Once Again and even heavier than the celebrated Victory Records release Pit Beast. Gato Negro teeters on the edge of metal and hardcore, but ends up somewhere along the lines of street punk. Songs like “Middle Class Wash Out” have just enough melody mixed with brutality to show listeners that these are musicians who know exactly how to make fucked up music that jumps out of nowhere, punches you in the face and breaks your nose when you least expect it. It’s the best kind of nostalgia.

I got a chance to talk with Hoods vocalist/guitarist Mikey Hood about his old venue Westcoast Worldwide, cutting hair, fighting, tours, and, of course, weed. Lots of weed.

Hey. Sorry it took so long to call you back, but we got home and got stoned and I was like, “Shit, I know I’m supposed to do something very important.”

Ah, the fucking weed. So do you miss Westcoast Worldwide?

Yeah, of course. We’re looking at opening a new one probably next year some time. It’s going to follow suit with rehearsal studios and stuff like that. I definitely want to do a live venue, but I want to do it with four or five people as a collective. Doing it all alone drains you. It’s like having an extra job on top of what you already have to do in life to make it.

What have you been up to the last few years?

We’ve been touring still. It’s just we haven’t been touring in the States. To play locally, people in your hometown don’t appreciate you as much as they do in other spots because they have the opportunity to see you. So we stopped playing all the time and then it started creating normal draws again. We did Europe for almost a month and we flew to [Philadelphia] and did Tsunami Fest and that was pretty cool. We played with Cro-Mags, Sick of it All, Obituary, All Out War. Was it pretty crazy?

I missed it. I had an allergy attack, but everybody else loved it. I could hear it from the van. I made our set and then nearly collapsed.

Are kids different now at shows?

Yeah. Somewhat. The older dudes are still kind of nutters, but the younger kids … it’s more like a popular thing to be into hardcore now, as opposed to something you have a passion for. It’s cool to act tough when you don’t have to even be tough. You can just be a nice dude.

I used to be scared going to hardcore shows.

Now it’s kind of like a bunch of clowns doing karate moves. It doesn’t seem like they really feel it anymore. It’s kind of good it’s not as violent, but at the same time it took a lot of the realness out of it, I guess.

How was Europe?

Really good. We did 22 shows pretty much in 22 days. We played Finland, Germany, Belgium, Holland, Poland, Austria and we did a bunch of shows in France. The shows were really good, but the country’s a little bit suspect.

Really?

They’re fucking assholes. Fuck it.

Why do you say that?

I don’t know, man. The kids at the show are cool, but when you have to deal with somebody in public they’re fucking assholes. As you go southwest, like to Bordeaux, the people are really cool, but some of the people in Paris and Marseille, they’re just really arrogant, man. If you ask them something in French, they’ll just look at you like you’re fucking stupid.

It’s like, “I’m going to slap your fucking face with a baguette. You’re lucky I’m an American because if we didn’t help you in World War II, you’d be speaking German.”

So have you chilled out on your fighting ways?

Man, I didn’t know I really did get in a lot of fights.

Really?!

I don’t know. I guess … I don’t know. Did I? Maybe it’s just a Sacramento legend. Those legends don’t even have to be true.

Dude. The thing is I haven’t been in a fight since—shit, no, actually can’t say that, but I haven’t tried to get

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Issue 175 • November 17 – December 1, 2014

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

“The older dudes are still kind of nutters, but the younger kids … it’s more like a popular thing to be into hardcore now, as opposed to something you have a passion for.

It’s cool to act tough when you don’t have to even be tough.

You can just be a nice dude.”

– Mikey Hood, Hoods, on the changing hardcore landscape in any fights in years. I don’t think we really ever started fights. I guess I was a little aggressive, but when I needed to be.

When did you start smoking weed?

Check it out, when I was 35, I was going to go back to college and try to finish up my A.A. degree.

My friend’s like, “You gotta get this Adderall shit.”

And I tried that shit and took it for three days.

That shit kept me up for a fucking week. I got a lot done. I cleaned the house at least five or six times a day. I changed the oil in my car and sent all my old postage out. So it wasn’t a total loss I guess.

Then you started smoking weed?

Oh, yeah. I smoked weed for about five years. It’s funny, because everybody who knows is like, “You fucking hate hippies.” But actually I’m kind of a hippie. The only difference is I take showers and go to work and shit.

Do you ever smoke weed and trip out on your straight edge tattoos?

Oh, dude, no way, man. Straight edge shit’s cool, man. That shit kept me out of jail. Actually, if I was smoking weed, I probably wouldn’t have gotten in as much trouble, but it wouldn’t have been as fun.

Yeah, so fuck it.

How’s your barber shop going?

That shit is fun as fuck. I like going to work. It’s a good job, too. You don’t get bored, man. You get like at least five to 10 dudes a day coming through all with different stories. Your day changes drastically from haircut-to-haircut. Most people hate their jobs. I actually like mine.

Let’s talk about your new album.

You already got a copy?

Yeah.

I honestly haven’t even heard the final product yet. I’m hella excited.

Well, it’s good.

I like that song “Gato Negro.” It’s the one we’re going to do a video for.

It’s got a cool melody.

It’s more like street punk-ish.

You know when you hear a new hardcore record and you’re worried that it’s going to be all soft and boring?

Oh yeah, this one had a while to bake in the oven.

I’ve been writing some of these songs since Pit Beast came out. I’ve had about six of these songs for two years, at least, and then I kind of just rewrote them. I wrote a couple songs on the spot.

I wrote the “Gato Negro” song on a “verse/chorus/

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verse/chorus/done” and we did it the next day in the studio and it’s like my favorite song off it. Sorry, I’m stoned. I’m getting off track.

I think people are going to like it. And if they don’t I don’t care because my cats will like it.

What’s your most fucked up show story?

The tour was called Street Brutality Tour. It was Hoods, Shattered Realm and Donnybrook.

It’s kind of like if you picked out the more thuggish kids in hardcore and put them on tour, this would be it. It was L.A., Sacramento, New Jersey, New York—so we covered pretty much every region. It was fucked up. There was a lot of tension that tour. To say the least, some kid got killed when we played at Skrappy’s in Tucson, Arizona. That was the same period when Dimebag Darrell had gotten shot on stage. I lost some friends that year. That made me not want to play music any more because when motherfuckers are coming to shows with AK-47s, that tough guy shit’s out the window. That’s when it gets really real. I don’t know about you, but I got shit to lose and I’m not trying to fuck around with being on some crew shit. It was stupid then, and it’s even stupider now.

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Tell me about your walks that you take.

You’ve seen The Evil Dead, right?

Yeah.

You know when he’s walking out of the forest at the end and the thing comes and kills him?

Yeah.

The death walk is like that, but in the motherfucking pitch darkness. We get hella stoned. We get zombie, Cheech and Chong stoned and then we go on the death walks.

You got to walk through. It’s maybe a third of a mile. It’s like a trail. There’s raspberry bushes and all this overgrowth shit. You can hear noises. There are some transients that live in there. So we call it the death walk. It’s pretty cool.

That sounds horrible.

Oh no. It’s healthy. You burn calories when you’re scared.

Hoods’ Gato Negro will be released Nov. 25 via Artery Recordings. Five days later (Nov. 30), you can celebrate its release at Blue Lamp.

The show gets underway at 7 p.m.

Check out Bluelampsacramento.com for more info. Mikey’s shop, True Blue Barber and Shave Parlour, is located at 1422 28 th Street in Sacramento.

Stop by and say hello!

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Issue 175 • November 17 – December 1, 2014

21

photo Marilyn Stringer

Spanning the Ages

A.C. Myles Combines Orignals and Old Favorites on His Latest Album, Reconsider Me Words Justin Cox

A.C.

Myles wanted to pay homage to his influences, so he did what any respectable bluesman would do: He booked some studio time and recorded an album.

Myles, a blues guitarist from California, released Reconsider Me this summer. The 11-song disc is a collection of four originals and seven covers that he says were carefully chosen as a nod to his influences and collaborators, especially those he has worked with over the past 10 years.

“I was either influenced by or played with the folks whose songs are on the album,” said Myles. “I tried to cover the spectrum.”

At its core, Reconsider Me is a blues album, but it slides in many directions from there, showcasing elements of country, rock, funk and soul.

One particular highlight is the original track, “Livin’ a Lie,” which is carried by the heaviest guitar riff on the album and bound together by a rapid-fire chorus that I found myself singing along to on just my second listen. The back end of the track features a manic slide guitar solo and one more punctuating verse and chorus before ending with a bang. That song is immediately followed by the smooth and sultry “Death Bed Blues,” which is a good embodiment of the album’s stylistic variety.

Myles is from Fresno, but when I asked him about his hometown, he just said he was from Northern California.

After I pressed him for a city name, he semi-reluctantly specified Fresno. I asked him, “Why not just claim the city?”

“Fresno really didn’t do a whole lot to develop me,” he said.

“Things never really got going for me until I got out. It’s sad to have to say that because it’s my hometown, but the whole reason I migrated to San Francisco was because the area was limiting to my growth.”

We caught up with Myles by phone in early November, between one of many shows he’ll play in the next two months.

One of those gigs is a Dec. 6 show at the Torch Club, which he says is his favorite venue in the area.

In the conversation below, Myles talks about developing musically in San Francisco, the recording process for Reconsider Me and an old blues collaborator of his who goes by the nickname, “The Pope of Pimpin’.”

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Issue 175 • November 17 – December 1, 2014

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

When did you start playing guitar?

In junior high school I started playing in some local bands and in the school music program.

After high school, I started playing in my own band, and then in my 20s I made it up to the Bay Area and just kind of kept on going.

Did you grow up in a musical household?

My father played music. He was born in the ‘50s, so he was a part of the Vietnam generation. He was born in Memphis, Tennessee, and he came out to California in the early ‘60s to work on the farms out here in the [Central] Valley.

What did the move to San Francisco do for you musically?

Oh, it was great. I made the rounds to all the different music clubs and some of the jam sessions and started meeting everybody I could.

And then I started getting gigs in the area. I used to play at a place on Fisherman’s Wharf called Lou’s Pier 47. That was a mainstay in that town for a long, long time. I started playing there one weekend a month and on a couple of weekdays, which helped get my name out. It kind of sprawled out from there.

Could you feel your following growing as you played those regular gigs?

Oh yeah, totally. It was great for that. And the cool thing about the Wharf location is that it was a tourist spot. Not only did you have locals taking their families out, but also you had people coming from all over the world. It was like a tour coming to you.

So the place no longer exists?

They turned it into a corporate spot. It’s like a fish shack now. At the time it was a notorious kind of dive bar. There’s no place like it.

You were the sideman for bluesman Fillmore Slim, aka the “Pope of Pimpin’.” What was that like?

Riding around in cars and hanging around in airports with that guy was never a dull moment.

The reason he calls himself the Pope is there’s a guy who hangs with Snoop Dogg called Bishop Don. He said, “I’ve been in the game longer than him, so I’m the Pope.” It was that consistent type of street one-upmanship. That guy has more pizzazz and swagger than you’ve ever seen; smooth like a politician.

How did you go about choosing the songs you would cover on Reconsider Me? The album is a retrospect. Each song is there for a reason. I like blues-rock, country blues, I like traditional. [Mixing up genres] doesn’t really help you sell any more records, though. It actually just confuses people.

When did you know you had the material that would make up the album?

It was time to make one that was properly recorded. I had a bunch of live shit I was selling for a while and it wasn’t representative of what I could really do. So I took a couple of originals I had been doing over the years and then some covers that were favorites.

SubmergeMag.com

“I still want to be B.B. King when I grow up.”

– A.C. Myles

Presenting the best in music, dance and speakers

You recorded the whole album in two days. That seems fast.

The sidemen were just right on the money.

How much time can you really spend in there unless you’re just goofing off? If you have a set guideline of what you’re going to do, you just go in there and do the work. This kind of music is pretty straight ahead. If you’ve got endless amounts of money and you just want to goof off in the studio, that’s fine. I’m sure the studio will take your money.

Do you write the riff and music first, or do you have the lyrical idea first?

I piece together the music first most of the time.

It’s rare that the lyrics come first, but it just depends. If I have a really strong vocal melody idea, then that dictates, but mostly it’s musical.

Sometimes I even work out the vocal melody on my instrument anyway just to get more ideas, like a pianist would.

You’ve been compared to Jonny Lang and Kenny Wayne Shepherd. What do you think of those comparisons?

I think I understand those comparisons, but it’s subjective. I’d like to think I’m a little more well-rounded than those guys are. But you really don’t know what other stuff they’re capable of. They’re out there trying to make a buck and sell a product, too. But I do understand the comparisons; we’re about the same age, plus the genre is similar.

Do you have a guitar hero?

No, not really. It’s a culmination of some of the folks who are on the record. Mostly American rock ‘n’ roll and blues are my big influences. As for one particular name, that’s tough. But I still want to be B.B. King when I grow up.

What kinds of music do you listen to?

As you get older and grow up, you can’t help but be influenced by what’s around you. As you mature, your sense of music matures, too.

I didn’t dig jazz when I was younger, but I dig it now. At the same time, AC/DC isn’t the same thing to me now as it was when I was 20. Not to say it doesn’t rock, but you know what I mean.

How do you like playing Torch Club?

Oh it’s a fun time. It’s the only place in the area that I frequently return to. I stay pretty loyal to them down there. There’s always someone who drinks too much at that place. It’s a good little dive bar that’s always got music, whether it’s a happy hour or some of Steven Roth will join A.C. the best touring Myles when he plays The Torch Club in Sacramento bands that come on Dec. 6. Tickets for this through.

9 p.m. show are just $8.

Go to Torchclub.net for more info.

“Master of the personal, embarrassing tale.”

—Time Magazine

14–15

ADDED!

Mike Birbiglia

Thank God for Jokes WED, DEC 10 • 8PM

Jackson Hall, Mondavi Center Award-winning comedian, actor, and filmmaker Mike Birbiglia returns to the stage with more painfully awkward stories in his all-new show about jokes, and how they can get you in trouble.

Join Mike as he gets arrested in New Jersey, screamed at by a famous director, heckled by Statler and Waldorf, and attacked by zombie rodents.

Dr. John & The Nite Trippers WED, DEC 3

Rock and Roll Hall of Famer and New Orleans music legend, Dr. John combines blues, jazz, R&B, funk, boogie woogie and psychedelic rock and roll into a unique gumbo.

Brad Mehldau Trio THU, DEC 4

“One of the most consistently fascinating voices in current jazz”. — JazzTimes

Robot Planet Rising WED, MAR 4

AN INTERGALACTIC NEMESIS LIVE-ACTION GRAPHIC NOVEL

A full list of the 2014–15 season is available at mondaviarts.org Issue 175 • November 17 – December 1, 2014

Mondavi Submerge

23

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Nov. 17 – Dec. 1 submergemag.com/calendar

11.17 Monday

The Blue Lamp Acoustic/ Spoken Open Mic, 8 p.m.

The Boxing Donkey Open Mic Variety Night, 8 p.m.

Capitol Garage Open Mic Night hosted by Musical Charis, 9 p.m.

The Colony Unleash the Archers, Dire Peril, Salythia, Graveshadow, 7:30 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Fox & Goose Open Mic Night, 7:30 p.m.

Goldfield Open Mic Night hosted by James Cavern, 9 p.m.

LowBrau Motown on Monday’s w/ DJ Epik, 9 p.m.

Luna’s Cafe Nebraska Mondays hosted by Ross Hammond, 7:30 p.m.

Old Ironsides Heath Williamson and Friends, 5 p.m.

Press Club Bubble Butt Dance Party, 9 p.m.

11.18 Tuesday

The Blue Lamp Moodie Black, Coozey, Belly Belt, Magicks, Tecate Valentino, DJ Nocturnal, 8 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Kupros Craft House Open Mic, 9 p.m.

LowBrau Le Twist Tuesdays w/ The Flavr Blue, Sam I Jam, Adam J, Roger Carpio, 9 p.m.

Old Ironsides Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Pine Cove Open Mic Night, 9 p.m.

Press Club The Deep End w/ Cue22, Galan & Forum, Druskee, 9:30 p.m.

Shine Open Jazz Jam hosted

by Jason Galbraith, 8 p.m.

24

Issue 175 • November 17 – December 1, 2014

Torch Club Quinn Hedges, 5:30 p.m.; Debut Tuesdays w/ Sean Lehe, Andrew Kahrs, 8 p.m.

UC Davis: Jackson Hall Irvin Mayfield and the New Orleans Jazz Orchestra, 8 p.m.

Witch Room Wild Ones, Radiation City, Autumn Sky, 8 p.m.

11.19 Wednesday

Bar 101 Open Mic, 7:30 p.m.

The Boardwalk Emery, The Classic Crime, Artifex Pereo, Mercedes Ave, Surviving the Era, Up In Smoke, 6:30 p.m.

Cafe Colonial Endorphins Lost, 8 p.m.

Club Car The Double Shots, 7:30 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Dive Bar Stellar: A Tribute to Incubus, Billy Manzik, 9 p.m.

Fox & Goose Northern Soul!, 8 p.m.

Harlow’s Los Straitjackets (feat. Deke Dickerson), 6:30 p.m.

Laughs Unlimited Karaoke, 8 p.m.

Mix DJ Gabe Xavier, DJ Peeti V, 9 p.m.

Old Ironsides Open Mic, 9 p.m.

Press Club Death In June, 8 p.m.

Sacramento State: University Union Redwood Room Nooner w/ The Three Way, 12 p.m.

Shine Midtown Out Loud, 7:30 p.m.

Torch Club Acoustic Open Mic, 5:30 p.m.; Earls of Newtown, 9 p.m.

11.20 thursday

Ace of Spades The Lacs, Dry County Drinkers, 6:30 p.m.

Assembly Fortunate Youth, The Expanders, Thrive, Two Peace, 6:30 p.m.

Bar 101 Karaoke, 7:30 p.m.

The Blue Lamp Tru Stez, The Dudez, Mahtie Bush, Mic Jordan, DLRN, 8 p.m.

The Boardwalk Pseudosilence, Nate Douglas, Colour Zero, Simpl3jack, RV Royalty, 7 p.m.

Capitol Garage Karaoke w/ Jeff Jenkins, 10 p.m.

Club Car Songwriters Showcase, 8 p.m.

The Coffee Garden Open Mic Night, 8 p.m.

District 30 Deep House w/ Vincent IZ AG, Vincent Salas, Cue 22, 10 p.m.

Dive Bar Dueling Pianos, 9 p.m.

Fox & Goose The Mike Justis Band, 8 p.m.

G Street WunderBar The Bumptet, 10 p.m.

Goldfield Live Country Band Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Harlow’s The Sealegs, Adrian Bellue, 8 p.m.

Level Up Lounge Karaoke, 9 p.m.

11.20 Tru Stez The Dudez, Mahtie Bush, Mic Jordan, DLRN The Blue Lamp 8 p.m.

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

11.21

Josh Hoyer & The Shadowboxers Torch Club 9 p.m.

Main Stage Theater (Grass Valley) Box Set (Jim Brunberg and Jeff Pehrson of Further), 8 p.m.

Mix DJ Eddie Edul, DJ Peeti V, 9 p.m.

Pine Cove Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Sweet Revenge, 10 p.m.

Starlite Lounge Inanimate Existence, The Last of Lucy, Flub, Extirpate, 9 p.m.

Torch Club Mind X Quartet, 5 p.m.; Keri Carr Band, Million Dollar Giveaway, 9 p.m.

Witch Room Quinn Hedges, Auburn Road, Island of Black and White, Held to Heights, Travis Hayes and the Young Daze, 7 p.m.

11.21 Friday

Ace of Spades Murs, Mayday!, M-Theory, K-Ottic, 6:30 p.m.

Assembly Gareth Emery, 7 p.m.

Back 9 Bar & Grill Lucid Popsicle, Cresca, Electric Snorkel, 8 p.m.

The Blue Lamp Free Up Fridays w/ DJ Wokstar and guests, 9 p.m.

The Boardwalk AG (EP Release), Rappin E, Bobby Hooper, Lost Generation, DTR, Lui Vega, Wise, Lilly Love, Aye Tee, 7 p.m.

Capitol Garage Fyah Fridays w/ DJ Jaytwo, 10 p.m.

The Colony Burning Hammer Records’ Jacknife Tape Release Show w/ Bad Times Crew, The Vitality, Crossface, Mastiff, Spinebreaker, Sawdust, Dive, 6:30 p.m.

El Dorado Saloon Radio Billionaires, 9 p.m.

Fox & Goose Them Travelin’ Birds, Jackson Griffith, 9 p.m.

G Street WunderBar DJ Adrian G, 10 p.m.

Golden Bear DJ Crook, 10 p.m.

Goldfield Cherry Road Gang, 9 p.m.

Harlow’s Abney Park, 6:30 p.m.; Art Alexakis (of Everclear), 9 p.m.

Kupros Craft House Hot City, 9 p.m.

Luna’s Cafe 21B, Emily O’Neill, Kate Spraka, Dry Creek Station, 8 p.m.

Mix DJ Gabe Xavier, 9 p.m.

MontBleu Resort Casino Cheap Trick, 7:30 p.m.

Old Ironsides Black Saddle Hookers, Whoopie Qat, The Orange Scene, 8 p.m.

Pine Cove Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Tragically White, 10 p.m.

Press Club DJ Rue, 9 p.m.

Red Hawk Casino Audioboxx, 9:30 p.m.

Rock Band University Jacknife (Tape Release), Bad Times Crew, Crossface, Vitality, Mastiff, Spinebreaker, Sawdust, Dive, 6:30 p.m.

Shine Hans & the Hot Mess, Noirre, Peter Holden, 8 p.m.

Starlite Lounge Bleep Bloop, Ratchet, 8 p.m.

Torch Club Pailer & Fratis, 5:30 p.m.; Josh Hoyer & The Shadowboxers, 9 p.m.

11.22 Saturday

Ace of Spades Arden Park Roots, Element Of Soul, Riotmaker, Hero’s Last Mission, A Mile Till Dawn, 6:30 p.m.

Back 9 Bar & Grill Moon Mantis, We Just Met, 8 p.m.

The Blue Lamp Electric Funeral (Black Sabbath tribute), Motörheader (Motörhead tribute), Ann Halen (female Van Halen tribute), 8 p.m.

The Boardwalk Wesley Avery, Arty Fresha, J Styles, Micoo, Lung, Slick Ronson, A.Steuber, Bangout, 7 p.m.

Cafe Colonial Marion Walker, Darling Chemicalia, Satan Wriders, 9 p.m.

Capitol Garage Feel Good Saturday’s w/ DJ Epik, 10 p.m.

District 30 Benji the Hunter, 10 p.m.

El Dorado Saloon Remix, 9 p.m.

Fox & Goose The Storytellers, Rat Stomp, 9 p.m.

G Street WunderBar ADHD, 10 p.m.

Goldfield Country DJ Dancing, 9 p.m.

Harlow’s Foreverland (Michael Jackson tribute), 9 p.m.

Harrah’s Lake Tahoe Travis Tritt, 7:30 p.m.

KBAR Z Rokk, 9 p.m.

Kupros Craft House Deswingin’, 9 p.m.

Level Up Lounge Guest DJs, 9 p.m.

Luna’s Cafe Penny Harding, Jeff Sears, Cathy Barwick, Pete Siegfried, Laura McLane, 8 p.m.

Main Stage Theater (Grass Valley) An Evening with Birds of Chicago, T Sisters, 8 p.m.

Mix DJ Eddie Edul, 9 p.m.

Old Ironsides Hans and The Hot Mess, Tuolumne, Belly Gunner, Damon Wycoff, 9 p.m.

Pine Cove Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Mother Hips, 10 p.m.

Press Club DJ Larry Rodriguez, 9 p.m.

Red Hawk Casino Audioboxx, 10 p.m.

Shine In the No, The Urban Sherpas, 8 p.m.

Starlite Lounge Black Majik Acid, Cold Blue Mountain, Infinite Waste, Battle Hag, 8 p.m.

Torch Club The Stuff, 4 p.m.; Peter Petty, Jitterbug Riot, 9 p.m.

UC Davis: Jackson Hall UC Davis Symphony Orchestra, 7 p.m.

Two Peace

November 2o

November 28

November 21

November 29

All Shows All Ages IcoNoclasT roboT eP relase

dlrn • Good SamaritanS

November 26 continued on page 27

SubmergeMag.com

1000 K Street | Sacramento (916) 341-0176 assemblysacramento.com

Tickets Available @ Dimple Records, Armadillo Online:

assemblysacramento.com

By Phone: 1.877.GND.CTRL

>> Issue 175 • November 17 – December 1, 2014

25

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Issue 175 • November 17 – December 1, 2014

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

11.26

11.24

Fleetwood Mac Sleep Train Amphitheatre 8 p.m.

11.23 sunday

Back 9 Bar & Grill Atomic Angels 4th Annual Pie Drive feat. Liz Sivell and Lauren Wakefield, 12 p.m.

The Blue Lamp The Piff Dawgz, BiggaBudd, Shwizz, MikeDashE, Task1ne, NPire The Great, DJ Epik, Lefty, 8 p.m.

Broderick Roadhouse Karaoke w/ DJ Jazcat, 9 p.m.

Cache Creek Casino Mr. Peter Ho-Tak Chan, Ms. Cecilia Yi-Kei Fong, 1 & 4 p.m.

Capitol Garage Karaoke w/ Jeff Jenkins, 9 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 8 p.m.

Dive Bar Adrian Bellue, 9 p.m.

Harlow’s Sturgill Simpson, 7 p.m.

Mix DJ E-Rock, DJ Gabe Xavier, 9 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Cafe’ R&B, 3 p.m.

Press Club Sunday Night Soul Party w/ DJ Larry Rodriguez, 9 p.m.

Torch Club Blues Jam, 4 p.m.; Pomegranates, Brian Jennings, 8 p.m.

UC Davis: Jackson Hall Causeway Youth Band Festival, 7 p.m.

Witch Room Turbo Fruits, 8 p.m.

11.24 Monday

The Blue Lamp Acoustic/ Spoken Open Mic, 8 p.m.

The Boxing Donkey Open Mic Variety Night, 8 p.m.

Capitol Garage Open Mic Night hosted by Musical Charis, 9 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m.

SubmergeMag.com

Fox & Goose Open Mic Night, 7:30 p.m.

Goldfield Open Mic Night hosted by James Cavern, 9 p.m.

Harlow’s Avi Buffalo, Los Angeles Police Department, 7 p.m.

LowBrau Motown on Monday’s w/ DJ Epik, 9 p.m.

Luna’s Cafe Nebraska Mondays hosted by Ross Hammond, 7:30 p.m.

Old Ironsides Heath Williamson and friends, 5 p.m.

Press Club Work Your Soul w/ Andy Garcia, 9 p.m.

Sleep Train Amphitheatre Fleetwood Mac, 8 p.m.

11.25 Tuesday

Ace of Spades Issues, I Killed the Prom Queen, GhostTown, Marmozets, Nightmares, 6 p.m.

The Blue Lamp All About Rockets, 8 p.m.

Cafe Colonial TSA, Asthma, xtomhanx, xmalcolmx, Cross Class, 8 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Harlow’s Busdriver, 8 p.m.

Kupros Craft House Open Mic, 9 p.m.

LowBrau Le Twist Tuesdays w/ Sam I Jam, Roger Carpio, Adam J, 9 p.m.

Old Ironsides Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Pine Cove Open Mic Night, 9 p.m.

Press Club The Enlows, Mos Likely, Kismet Aura, 9 p.m.

Shine Open Jazz Jam hosted

by Jason Galbraith, 8 p.m.

Torch Club Chris Twomey, 5:30 p.m.; Hans & The Hot Mess, 9 p.m.

wednesday Assembly Iconoclast Robot (EP Release), James Cavern & The Council, DLRN, The Good Samaritans, 7 p.m.

Bar 101 Open Mic, 7:30 p.m.

The Blue Lamp Red Tape, Psychosomatic, Horseneck, Riot Radio, 8 p.m.

Club Car The Double Shots, 7:30 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m.

District 30 Adrian Lux, 10 p.m.

Fox & Goose Northern Soul!, 8 p.m.

Harlow’s Cosmic Family Prod. Remembers Woodstock ‘69 w/ Ideateam, The Three Way, Sean Lehe, Brian Chris Rogers, Sam Phelps and More, 8 p.m.

Laughs Unlimited Karaoke, 8 p.m.

Luna’s Cafe Irish/Celtic Music Night w/ The Glens of Smow of Sambandha, 7 p.m.

Old Ironsides Open Mic, 9 p.m.

The Park Ultra Lounge DJ Shift, 9 p.m.

Press Club New Jack Fling Pre-Thanksgiving Bash: DJ CrookOne, DJ Epik, Ben J, DJ Satapana, 9:30 p.m.

Sleep Train Amphitheatre Trans-Siberian Orchestra, 4 & 8 p.m.

Torch Club Acoustic Open Mic, 5:30 p.m.; Island of Black and White, 9 p.m.

11.27 Thursday

Bar 101 Karaoke, 7:30 p.m.

Capitol Garage Karaoke w/ Jeff Jenkins, 10 p.m.

Club Car Songwriters Showcase, 8 p.m.

The Coffee Garden Open Mic Night, 8 p.m.

Dive Bar Dueling Pianos, 9 p.m.

Goldfield Live Country Band Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Level Up Lounge Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Mix DJ Eddie Edul, DJ Peeti V, 9 p.m.

Pine Cove Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Press Club Music Box w/ Missy Mark, 9 p.m.

11.28 FRIDAY

Ace of Spades Attila, Crown The Empire, Like Moths To Flames, Sworn In, 6 p.m.

Assembly Kreayshawn, Kehlani, DJ Eddie Z, 7 p.m.

The Blue Lamp Free Up Fridays w/ DJ Wokstar and special guests, 9 p.m.

Cache Creek Casino Thunderhand Joe & The Medicine Show, 8 p.m.

Capitol Garage Fyah Fridays w/ DJ Jaytwo, 10 p.m.

Club Car Beyond Reason, 9 p.m.

District 30 Black Friday Party w/ DJ Oasis, 10 p.m.

El Dorado Saloon Local Band Showcase Hosted by Zac Rome (of Sweet Revenge), 9 p.m.

Fox & Goose Red Union Blue, Jenn Rogar, 9 p.m.

G Street WunderBar Bolandfest, 10 p.m.

Golden Bear DJ Crook, 10 p.m.

Goldfield The Cripple Creek Band, 9 p.m.

Harlow’s Lil Debbie, Caskey, 6 p.m.; The Purple Ones (Prince tribute), 9:30 p.m.

Kupros Craft House Sandra Delores Band, 9 p.m.

Mix DJ Gabe Xavier, 9 p.m. continued on page 28

>>

11.28 Lil Debbie Caskey Harlow’s 6 p.m.

Issue 175 • November 17 – December 1, 2014

27

R E U R O Y AD HE

Call Us (916) 441-3803 or email Us info@submergemag.com Today!

Old Ironsides Lee Bob Watson, Kevin and Allyson Seconds, Brian Rogers, 9 p.m.

The Park Ultra Lounge Eddie Edul, 9 p.m.

Pine Cove Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub WonderBread 5, 10 p.m.

Press Club DJ Rue, 9 p.m.

Red Hawk Casino Brodie Stewart, 9:30 p.m.

Starlite Lounge Backseat Action, 8 p.m.

Torch Club Pailer & Fratis, 5:30 p.m.; Mighty Mike Schermer, 9 p.m.

11.29 Saturday

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28

Issue 175 • November 17 – December 1, 2014

Assembly The Holdup, 7 p.m.

Back 9 Bar & Grill Our Endless Obsession, Rotten Bits, 7 p.m.

The Blue Lamp The Alpha Complex, Dr. Luna, Furlough Fridays, Riotmaker, The Maker’s Mile, Burn, Darkline, 7:30 p.m.

Cache Creek Casino Shalamar, 8 p.m.

Capitol Garage Feel Good Saturday’s w/ DJ Epik, 10 p.m.

Club Car TomFoolery, 9 p.m.

The Colony SMD, Bruja, Hellraiser, 8 p.m.

El Dorado Saloon Branded, 9 p.m.

Fox & Goose Followers of Sunshine, Stringtown Ambassadors, 9 p.m.

G Street WunderBar DJ Mouf, 10 p.m.

Goldfield Sweet Revenge, 9 p.m.

Harlow’s Mary Youngblood, 7 p.m.; The Cheeseballs, 9:45 p.m.

Harrah’s Lake Tahoe Tower of Power, 7:30 p.m.

KBAR Z Rokk, 9 p.m.

Kupros Craft House Trio Las Cruses, 9 p.m.

Level Up Lounge Guest DJs, 9 p.m.

Luna’s Cafe David Houston & String Theory, Anton Barbeau, 8 p.m.

Mix DJ Eddie Edul, 9 p.m.

MontBleu Resort Casino Bret Michaels, 8 p.m.

Old Ironsides Face 4 Radio, 9 p.m.

The Park Ultra Lounge DJ Louie Giovanni, 9 p.m.

Pine Cove Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Midnight Players, 10 p.m.

11.30 Celestial Shore Witch Room 8 p.m.

Press Club DJ Larry Rodriguez, 9 p.m.

Red Hawk Casino The Spazmatics, 10 p.m.

Starlite Lounge Dream In Red, Color the Sound, Calling Tempo, 8 p.m.

Torch Club Bob Woods, 5:30 p.m.; Mercy Me, 9 p.m.

Witch Room Babe, Stevie Nader, Epsilona, 6:30 p.m.

11.30 Sunday

The Blue Lamp Hoods (Album Release), 8 p.m.

Broderick Roadhouse Karaoke w/ DJ Jazcat, 9 p.m.

Cache Creek Casino Live Band Karaoke, 5 p.m.

Cafe Colonial Cory Wiegert, Bobby Meader Music, Andrew Harrison, Tomfool, 8 p.m.

Capitol Garage Karaoke w/ Jeff Jenkins, 9 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 8 p.m.

Harlow’s Karen Lovely, 5:30 p.m.

Main Stage Theater (Grass Valley) Brokedown in Bakersfield, 8 p.m.

Mix DJ Gabe Xavier, 9 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Maxx Cabello Jr., 3 p.m.

Press Club Sunday Night Soul Party w/ DJ Larry Rodriguez, 9 p.m.

Torch Club Blues Jam, 4 p.m.; Warren Bishop, 8 p.m.

Witch Room Celestial Shore, 8 p.m.

12.01 Monday

The Boxing Donkey Open Mic Variety Night, 8 p.m.

Capitol Garage Open Mic Night hosted by Musical Charis, 9 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Fox & Goose Open Mic Night, 7:30 p.m.

Goldfield Open Mic Night hosted by James Cavern, 9 p.m.

Harlow’s Jackie Gage, Harley White Jr., 6 p.m.

LowBrau Motown on Monday’s w/ DJ Epik, 9 p.m.

Luna’s Cafe Nebraska Mondays hosted by Ross Hammond, 7:30 p.m.

Old Ironsides Heath Williamson and friends, 5 p.m.

Press Club Cosmonauts, Mount Whateverest, Pets, Dynamic Fuzz Bomb, 8 p.m.

Comedy Laughs Unlimited Best of Open Mic Showcase, Nov. 18, 8 p.m.

Monica Taylor & Family Fundraiser feat. Sean Peabody, Emma Haney, Nov. 19, 7 p.m.

Say It Loud Comedy w/ Carlos Rodriguez, Charles Kelly, Johnny Taylor, Ben Rice, Christopher John and Big Chuckelz, hosted by Michael Calvin Jr., Nov. 20, 8 p.m.

Sean Peabody, Chad Heft, Nov. 21 - 23, Fri. & Sat., 8 p.m. & 10:30 p.m.; Sun., 7 p.m.

Rodger Lizaola, Josef Anolin, Nov. 28 - 30, Fri. & Sat., 8 p.m. & 10:30 p.m.; Sun., 7 p.m.

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

Luna’s Cafe Open Mic Comedy, every Tuesday, 7:30 p.m.

STAB! hosted by John Ross, Nov. 19, 8 p.m.

Punchline Comedy Club The Future of Comedy Showcase feat. DJ Sandhu, Nov. 19, 8 p.m.

The Smartest Man in the World Podcast w/ Greg Proops, Nov. 20, 8 p.m.

Greg Proops, Keith Lowell Jensen, Jules Posner, Nov. 21 - 22, Fri. & Sat., 8 p.m. & 10 p.m.

Hanging with Carlos Rodriguez, Nov. 23, 7 p.m.

Mike E. Winfield Gest Jokes, Nov. 26, 8 p.m.

Brad Williams, Adam Ray, Nov. 28 - 30, Fri. & Sat., 8 p.m. & 10 p.m.; Sun., 7 p.m.

Sacramento Comedy Spot Open Mic, Sunday’s and Monday’s, 8 p.m.

Spot-On Trivia, Tuesday’s, 8 p.m.

Improv Lab, Harold Night & Gordon Teams, Wednesday’s, 7 - 10 p.m.

Gag Order & Improv Jam, Thursday’s, 8 - 10 p.m.

Top 10 Podcast, Friday’s, 7 p.m.

Anti-Cooperation League, Saturday’s, 9 p.m.

Test Kitchen, Saturday’s, 10:30 p.m.

Tommy T’s Ellis Rodriguez, Nov. 28 - 30, 7 p.m.

Misc.

20th Street (Between J and K) Midtown Farmers Market, every Saturday, 8 a.m.

24th Street Theatre Contemporary Dance Conservatory’s Where the Wild Things Are, Nov. 22, 2 p.m. & 7 p.m.

Arthouse Gallery & Studios Absolutely Abstract feat.

Works by Michelle Andres, Skip Lee and Noel Sandino, through Nov. 30

Avid Reader (Davis) Author Discussion with Catriona McPherson, Nov. 20, 7:30 p.m.

B Street Theater Snow White and Rose Red: An Original Adaptation by Dave Pierini, Nov. 22 - Dec. 28 Outside Mullingar by John Patrick Shanley, through Nov. 23 Spinning Into Light: A World Premiere Musical

by Buck Busfield, Nov. 29 Jan. 4 The Bench Art Supply and Gallery Ain't Life Beautiful

by Lord Pawn, through Nov. 22 Blue Cue Bar Bingo, Wednesday’s, 9 p.m.

The Blue Lamp Naughty Trivia!, every Wednesday, 8 p.m.

The Boxing Donkey Trivia Night, every Tuesday, 8 p.m.

Cafe Colonial Splatter Punk Movie Night Fundraiser, Nov. 21, 8 p.m.

Cal Expo The Sacramento Harvest Festival Original Art and Craft Show, Nov. 21 - 23 Capitol Garage Geeks Who Drink Trivia Night, Wednesday’s, 9 p.m.

Crest Theatre Rebels with a Cause: Mexican Revolution Celebration, Nov. 19, 7 p.m.

Asian Performing Arts Festival, Nov. 22, 1:30 p.m.

Crocker Art Museum Our America: The Latino Presence in American Art, through Jan. 11 Arte Mexicano: Legacy of the Masters, through Feb. 1 The Provoke Era: Japanese Photography from the Collection of SFMOMA, through Feb. 1 Fox & Goose Pub Quiz, Tuesday’s, 7 p.m.

11.22

Goldfield Free Line Dance Lessons, Tuesday’s, 8:30 p.m.

Beer Pong Tournament, Wednesday’s, 9 p.m.

Cornhole Tournament, Nov. 22, 11 a.m.

Guild Theatre T-Mo Entertainment Holiday Jam 2014 feat. Comedy, Poetry, Live Music and Dance, Nov. 29, 7 p.m.

Harris Center for the Arts An Irish Christmas, Nov. 28 - 30 Jackson Sports Academy Indoor Soccer: Sacramento Surge vs. Turlock Express, Nov. 22, 7 p.m.

Luna’s Cafe Poetry Unplugged, every Thursday, 8 p.m.

WTF Sessions: Poets and Writers read published works from WTF? plus original works, Nov. 20, 8 p.m.

Midtown BarFly Salsa Lessons, every Wednesday, 8 p.m.

New Helvetia Brewing Company Tasting Room Brewery Black Friday: 2nd Anniversary Party, Nov. 28 Pine Cove Trivia Night, Wednesday’s, 9 p.m.

Press Club Flex Your Head Trivia, Tuesday’s, 8 p.m.

Sacramento Poetry Center Harvest Moon Art Show and Sale, Nov. 22, 12 p.m.

Sacramento State Run to Feed the Hungry, Nov. 27 Sacramento State: University Union Ballroom Free Screening: Guardians of the Galaxy, Nov. 20, 7:30 p.m.

Sacramento State: University Union Gallery Logical Deformations by Waylon Horner & Jared Tharp, through Nov. 20 Happiness in the First Year Photo Show, through Nov. Nov. 21 Legit: An exhibition of Extraordinary Works by Sac State’s Graphic Design Alumni, Nov. 24 - Dec. 18 State Indian Museum Native American Film Festival, Nov. 22, 10 a.m.

UC Davis ARC Ballroom Alpha Chi Omega Runway, Nov. 22, 6 p.m.

White Buffalo Gallery La Muerta: Love Unlost by Ryan El Dugi Lewis, through Nov. 30

Contemporary Dance Conservatory’s

Where the Wild Things Are

24th Street Theatre 2 & 7 p.m.

SubmergeMag.com

Issue 175 • November 17 – December 1, 2014

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the shallow end Space Just Ain’t Sexy James Barone jb@submergemag.com A million years ago when I went to college, I took Astronomy as my required “science with a lab.” I thought it was going to be awesome.

I was heartily disappointed. All we did was read textbooks, work math equations and dick around on crappy computer programs in the lab.

Sure, we’d talk about nebulas and supernovas and far-off galaxies and all that cool stuff, but, you know, that stuff is really far away. And I went to a city university, not a NASA training program, so I never actually got to go into space. I mean, I was reasonably sure that a trip to the International Space Station wouldn’t be on the syllabus for Intro to Astronomy, but a boy could dream.

That’s the big problem with space, though; it captures the imagination. Imagination isn’t the hot commodity it once was. Nothing is left to the imagination anymore. I guess that’s why the European Space Agency (ESA) dropping a lander on a comet had to play second fiddle to Kim Kardashian’s ass this past week.

It’s sad. It’s really sad. As you’re most likely aware, Kim Kardashian, who’s famous for being rich, stupid and married to Kanye West, posed naked for Paper Magazine, showing off the other thing that’s she’s famous for, her plump tuckus. Kim’s sister Khloe told E! that her sister’s photo shoot was a big “eff you to the world,” you know, because the world has been so harsh for Kim and the rest of the Kardashians—ensuring them a life of excess and comfort for doing absolutely fucking nothing.

“People were just so hard on her during her pregnancy, that I think she feels so liberated to show everyone ‘Look how bomb I look!’”

Khloe said.

Liberated. Right. Because for months she had to languish through Internet trolloppression. I’m sure people wondering whether or not they’ll find clean water today or living under the thumb of a tyrannical government are so stoked for you, breaking free of your shackles and whatnot and glazing your giant booty for the world to see. Brava. Really. You’re a treasure.

If you actually noticed the cover text and weren’t hypnotized by Kim’s juicy rump, you would have seen the words “Break the Internet” placed beneath those luscious cheeks. I guess Kim figured that these racy photos would cause so much of a stir on the Interwebs that the

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Issue 175 • November 17 – December 1, 2014

whole damn thing would grind to a halt.

Of course she was right. We suck. We let it happen. You suck for posting links to poorly written HuffPo articles about it. Your friends suck for taking time out of their busy schedules to create clever parodies of the incendiary photo and sharing them on Instagram. I suck for wasting all this column space pissing and moaning about it. I’m probably worst offender in that regard. Trees had to die for this column to be printed. I’m pretty sure even just one tree nestled away in the forests of Canada has made more valuable contributions to the quality of life on planet Earth than all the Kardashians combined.

We landed on a comet for heaven’s sake!

A COMET! What’s wrong with us? Maybe it’s not our fault. Let’s compare Kim’s Paper cover photo to the first image confirming the Philae lander had found purchase on the Rosetta comet’s surface. The latter depicts an almost featureless, pixilated light gray landscape with a few small dots of darker pixels. ESA drew little circles over the spots where the lander was, its shadow and the cloud of dust Philae made when it made contact with Rosetta’s surface. They went so far as to label what they’d circled, because if they hadn’t, you really would have had no idea what you were looking at. It almost seemed like a desperation move, like ESA was saying, “Hey! Check this out! We swear it’s momentous!” In all honesty, it sucked. It was like a shitty piece of modern art.

The former image, that of Kim’s mighty kaboose, had a lot more pizzazz. Kim’s back was to the camera, and she was staring back at the lens over her left shoulder. Your eyes moved down her bare back to her Photoshoppinched waist and then further down until you hit pay dirt. There it was in all its splendor, oiled up to a glossy sheen…it was like the two sexiest glazed donuts ever, just perched there, taunting you.

Space really didn’t stand a chance. The ESA would have to have produced photographic evidence of wookies or ewoks or maybe even Jar Jar Binks (OK, not Jar Jar) living on Rosetta to compete with an ass like that. Maybe they could Photoshop a few little green men hanging out on the comet? Photoshop seems to be working for Kim. Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

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Issue 175 • November 17 – December 1, 2014

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Dive into Sacramento & its Surrounding Areas

november 17 – December 1, 2014

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