Submerge Magazine: Issue 142 (August 5 - 19, 2013) by Submerge Magazine

Dive into Sacramento & its Surrounding Areas

august 5 – 19, 2013

#142 e exclusiv

Midtown l Cocketai Weerakge Cov

2 Guns

Enough Bang for Your Buck?

Michelle Weinstein

Four Dimensional Geometry

The Knockoffs Mezcal 101 Elders of Punk

Unlock the Mystery of this Mystical Spirit

free

Johana Hernandez’s GLAUDI Comes to Launch Fashion

Red

Rabbit Kitchen & Bar Hare of the Dog

Thank you

ni ni

Sacramento chapter members for helping create a community of passionate bartenders and bar programs.

y.c ra om y

Please enjoy Midtown Cocktail Week 2013 to the fullest! Check out midtowncocktailweek.org for events & educational classes

Go to usbg.org for information about joining our chapter

Like us on Facebook uSBG Sacramento

Email us at sacramentobg@gmail.com for any questions about involving yourself or company with our non-profit organization

The United States Bartenders’ Guild promotes the craft of professional bartending through educational and curricular events while fostering community, encouraging debate and inspiring creativity. Our members demonstrate expertise in their palates through knowledge of their products, and the finest customer service within the noble craft of bartending today. Cheers.

Issue 142 • August 5 – August 19, 2013

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

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Issue 142 • August 5 – August 19, 2013

142

Submerge: an independently owned entertainment/lifestyle publication available for free biweekly throughout the greater Sacramento area.

contents

2013

04 06 09

20 33

10 12 14 20 22 24 33

cofounder/ Editor in Chief/Art Director

Melissa Welliver melissa@submergemag.com cofounder/ Advertising Director

Jonathan Carabba jonathan@submergemag.com senior editor

James Barone Assistant Editor

Mandy Pearson

Contributing Writers

Zach Ahern, Joe Atkins, Robin Bacior, Andrew Bell, Corey Bloom, Bocephus Chigger, Brooke Dreyer, Josh Fernandez, Anthony Giannotti, Lovelle Harris, Nur Kausar, John Phillips, Ryan J. Prado, Steph Rodriguez, Amy Serna, Jacob Sprecher, Jennifer Snyder, Jenn Walker Contributing photographers

Heather Loewe, Mike Ibe, Phill Mamula, Liz Simpson, Nicholas Wray

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front Cover Photo of the red rabbit by nicholas wray

Issue 142 • August 5 – August 19, 2013

august 5 – august 19

Dive in The Stream The Optimistic Pessimist Submerge your senses mezcal 101 the red rabbit Michelle Weinstein the knockoffs CALENDAR the grindhouse

2 guns

the shallow end

All content is property of Submerge and may not be reproduced without permission. Submerge is both owned and published by Submerge Media. All opinions expressed throughout Submerge are those of the author and do not necessarily mean we all share those opinions. Feel free to take a copy or two for free, but please don’t remove our papers or throw them away. Submerge welcomes letters of all kinds, whether they are full of love or hate. We want to know what is on your mind, so feel free to contact us via snail mail at 2308 J Street, Suite F Sacramento, Calif. 95816. Or you can e-mail us at info@submergemag.com.

dive in Cocktails make the world go round Melissa welliver melissa@submergemag.com With Midtown Cocktail Week just around the corner (Aug. 2125), I have nothing but cocktails on my mind. It’s made me stop and think about my beverages of choice prior to experiencing the now-booming craft cocktail movement a couple years back. Vodka tonics, screwdrivers and whiskey sours were, at one time or another, my go-to drinks. Now, after experiencing bars with the finest ingredients, bartenders with knowledge and skills, and some of the coolest and hip atmospheres, I couldn’t imagine my world without a well-made Old Fashioned, Horse’s Neck, or Gin Gin Mule. I’d say the craft cocktail movement plays a pretty big role in my life. So much so that I even based my recent weekend trip to San Francisco for my bachelorette party on it. While there wasn’t enough time to hit all the bars I wanted, my crew of ladies and I made a point to visit some key spots. A few notable stops were Tradition, Rye and Trick Dog. (Pro tip: If you’re going to these types of places on a Friday or Saturday night, make reservations ahead of time to get your own booth or table; I wish I would have known.) These places served very tasty concoctions and had very knowledgeable staffs and great cocktail menus; but, after my weekend away, it really made me appreciate our Sacramento bars even more. You really can’t beat our city’s prices, crowds, atmosphere and friendly employees. One of my absolute favorite places to get a craft cocktail in Sacramento is none other than The Red Rabbit Kitchen and Bar, where all of the above holds true. Ever since we put out our last Midtown Cocktail Week issue in 2012, I knew that our next cocktail cover feature would have to be on barman Matt Nurge and/or someone from The Red Rabbit staff. So in this issue you are holding, we did just that. The Red Rabbit wins, in my book—for not only having some of the best cocktails around, but for their to-die-for food, as well. (I have not had anything that can come close to those Rabbit Raviolis! I dream about them day and night). Please read up on this establishment starting on page 14 and be sure to attend their big Cocktail Week event, called Best In Show, on Aug. 25. Think pig-roast meets carnival meets county fair—with jams from Shaun Slaughter! Yeah, it’s sure to be a blast. Also in this issue we have a feature on the spirit known as mezcal. I feel like not many people know about this unique alcohol made from agave plants. I didn’t really know about it before this year, and I love booze. So, Submerge would like to give you a glimpse into the world of mezcal, and a brief rundown about a Midtown Cocktail Week seminar and tasting event that will take place on Aug. 24 at Mayahuel in downtown Sacramento. We were lucky enough to talk with Ernesto Delgado, owner of Mayahuel, and Andrew Friedman (mezcal expert and owner of Liberty bar in Seattle, Wash.), who will be coming to our town to discuss the culture, distillation and history behind mezcal along with other experts. I can’t think of a better place to host this educational (and tasty) mezcal event, as Mayahuel changed my whole mindset on tequila. Because of tastings I’ve done there, I now know there is such a thing as good tequila. To get your beverage breakdown, please flip to page 12. More Midtown Cocktail Week coverage? Yes, please! In this issue we also have our “Submerge Your Senses” section once again dedicated to our favorite week ever. On page 10, read about things that you will be able to see, hear, touch and taste. We did our MCW coverage early this year so that you, our readers, can be sure to learn about the events and sign up early. These events fill up fast, so don’t hesitate, reserve your spot for tastings and/or classes today. Get your read on, then get your drink on! Yes, in that order. Trust me. Enjoy issue #142 and remember, don’t drink and drive! Melissa-Dubs

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

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Issue 142 • August 5 – August 19, 2013

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Sacramento’s annual Launch Festival is about more than music. Sure, the two-day blowout at Cesar Chavez Plaza on Sept. 7 and 8 that features some of the hottest bands out right now will no doubt be incredible, but lets not forget the other events leading up to that, namely the ridiculously awesome fashion show they have lined up on Sept. 6 at the Tsakopoulos Library Galleria (828 I Street). Launch X Fashion will feature the work of Johana Hernandez, perhaps best known from season two of NBC’s Fashion Star. Hernandez, who is just 26 years old, has quite the resume. At 19 she landed a gig as the head designer for the Bebina and Cappuccino Jeans collection, at 22 she got the job of head designer for Seven7 Jeans (a position she still holds to this day) and at 24 she launched her own line, GLAUDI. The collection, for both men and women, was (and in some cases still is) available at major retail outlets like Macy’s, Walmart, Kohl’s, Target and many others. GLAUDI has a strong celebrity following and Hernandez has won best-dressed awards for her elegant and avant-garde gowns. “Her designs are geared toward the Power Woman with an edge,” says Sacramento stylist and fashion show producer Lisa Kennedy. “The fashion-conscious woman who likes to stand out with an individual look. She also is a very hardworking and talented designer who worked her way up from very humble beginnings.” Also showing their work will be Los Angeles women’s fashion design house FROCK LA, whom Kennedy says she loves for their eco-friendly yet elegant line. “It’s luxury with a cause,” she says. You can also expect to see work from Adolfo Sanchez Designs, Ronnie Escalante (also a Fashion Star alum) and high-end accessory line Kate Knuvelder. This is going to be a full-blown professional “big city” fashion show, and if you’ve never seen the inside of the Main Galleria Floor at the Tsakopoulos Library Galleria, prepare to be blown away, it’s stunning. Get your tickets now (starting at $55) to the fashion event of the year at Launchsacramento.com.

Issue 142 • August 5 – August 19, 2013

One of our favorite Midtown dive bars, Pine Cove Tavern (cheap pitchers and free popcorn, fuck yeah!), recently announced that they will begin hosting free Open Mic Comedy Battles on the last Tuesday of every month at 9 p.m. Submerge thinks this will mesh well with Pine Cove’s other nightly events, including trivia on Wednesdays; karaoke Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays; and live music on Sundays. We always sort of thought that place would make for a fun spot to watch certain local comics work out new material. It’s probably all of the aforementioned cheap beer. Anyway, before the new monthly comedy night kicks in, Pine Cove is getting overrun by a slew of seasoned local comics for a show on Sunday, Aug. 18 at 8 p.m. Bringing the LOLs will be Carlos Rodriguez, Matt Raymond, Johnny Taylor, Ray Molina, Stephen Furey, Darby Herms and others. There is absolutely no cover charge. Zilch. Nada. Free entertainment, boom. Pine Cove is located at 29th and E streets. Find them at Facebook.com/pinecovetavern or on Twitter @pinecovetavern.

Lord Dying

Howl

If you’re low on dough but still itching to see a really good metal show, save this date: Friday, Aug. 16. That’s when not one, but two Relapse Records bands, Lord Dying from Portland, Ore., and Rhode Island’s Howl, will melt faces at The Colony (3521 Stockton Blvd.). Howl is touring in support of their recently released album Bloodlines, which can be streamed in its entirety at Howl. bandcamp.com or on Spotify. Like killer guitar solos and powerful screaming vocals? What are you waiting for? Go listen to Bloodlines. It’s on some rising-from-hell/end-of-the-world type shit. Lord Dying is touring in support of their latest album, Summon the Faithless (don’t metal bands have the fucking best album titles?) and it’s a little rougher around the edges, yet equally as impressive as Howl’s album. They make fine label mates. Joining the touring bands will be local favorites Black Mackerel and Cura Cochino. That’s a whole lotta riffage all up in your face for just $10! All ages are welcome and doors open at 8 p.m.

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

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Issue 142 • August 5 – August 19, 2013

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Issue 142 • August 5 – August 19, 2013

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

The Optimistic Pessimist BoTEK’s Incredulous: Jam it in Your Face! Bocephus Chigger bocephus@submergemag.com Gird your loins, America! BoTEK is back with another innovative product! You may remember us from our previous success, the Who’sit, the world’s only mouth, ear and hands free, Bluetooth device. Thousands of people just like you are already enjoying the freedom of Bluetooth technology using only their feet, noses and eyes. Don’t sleep on the Who’sit!1 Fans of the Who’sit are probably wondering how BoTEK could possibly top such a miraculous invention, but I am here to tell you that we have done exactly that with our first entry into the burgeoning cell phone market. We call it the Incredulous, and it is truly a sight to behold. Unfortunately, the guys in legal told us we can’t show you a picture of the Incredulous just yet,2 but I’m telling you, this baby is legit3 ! But enough puffery! You smart consumers out there want to know what this thing can do. To you, I say, “What do you want it to do?” Do you like coffee in the morning? Incredulous can get you coffee. 4 How about a little toast with that coffee? Incredulous makes toast! 5 Do you need to make a call? Incredulous can even make calls! 6 Do you like games? Incredulous comes with the hottest game of the summer, Lock Screen! Feel the excitement as you find yourself utterly unable to unlock your phone due to our baffling security system. Lock Screen might just be the next big thing and you are going to get it for free!7

20 Incredulous does not work in all Download capabilities on the Expected for Incredulous Summerat2014. instances for all users 8and this release dateIncredulous will is notlate available statement contains no9guaranty 2 BoTEK of does not havelaunch. a clear understanding of how the BoTEK is currently subject to a gag the functionality, reliability or userworks. Please 21 Incredulous tweet us not @BoTEK if you order and an injunction due to a BoTEK does advocate thehave piracy friendliness of the device under any pending lawsuit. As a result, our ofworkings motion pictures, but if youdevice. know a information on the inner of the Incredulous circumstance. attorneys have informed us that us @BoTEK 10 Incredulous does notgood worksite, in alltweet instances for all users 11 photographs of the Incredulous are 1 mini-core =.05 standard cores. 22 The 5G 5 (five) and this statement contains no network guaranty now of therequires functionality, not to be made available to the public 12 1 GHz (Gigglehertz) = the amountor ofuser friendliness full audible before reliability of thegroans device (G) under any each at present. time it takes for someone to laugh at webpage will load. 4G is not available circumstance. 3 The legitimacy of Incredulous is your Incredulous device. on the Incredulous. 11 1 mini-core =.05 standard cores. currently a question before the 13 23 Each purchaser will receive four classic Only apps purchased in BoTEK’s 9th Circuit Court of Appeals. BoTEK 12 1 GHz (Gigglehertz) = the amount of time it takes for Ghost Busters (GB) stickers to add to official App Barn will function on the remains steadfast in our claim of someone to laugh at your Incredulous device. their memories. Collect them all! Incredulous. legitimacy until the court reaches a 13 Each purchaser will 14 24 receive four classic Ghost Busters (GB) decision. Screen sizes may vary in shape, size Only Lock Screen will be available at stickers to add to their memories. and/or color depending upon supply. launch. Collect them all! 4 Coffee App requires coffee shop to 14 Screen sizes may25vary in shape, size and/or color depending 15 place your order. 1080 penises were personally hand Subscribers will receive one headshot upon supply. rubbed onto each Incredulous screen of Brent “Data” Spiner of television’s 5 Caution: Incredulous will grow warmer 15 1080 penises were personally rubbed onto eachper before leaving our Dunnigan, Calif., Star Trek:hand The Next Generation with extended use and may cause factory. month Incredulous screen before leaving our Dunnigan, Calif., factory. second degree burns, scarring and 16 16 BoTEK’s Horribly26 Damaging (HD) technology can cause loss of life. BoTEK’s Horribly Damaging (HD) For the first 15 days. Contact our technology can cause severe optical Customer Service center for more 6 severe optical pain and may lead to permanent blindness. Coverage area limited to Dunnigan, pain and may lead to permanent details about billing 17 Camera sold separately. Calif. blindness. 27 Contract automatically for 18 Incredulous is not currently available on therenews following 7 Purchasers of Incredulous will be 17 Camera sold separately.wireless networks: Verizon, six years unless purchaser formally AT&T, Sprint, T-Mobile, MetroPCS, charged a $50 licensing fee for use of notifies an officer of BoTEK, in writing, 18 Lock Screen. Lock Screen user license Virginavailable Mobile, Vonage or U.S. 24 Cellular. Incredulous is not currently within hours of purchase. Penalty valid for 90 days from purchase, on the following wireless networks:subscription 19 Two-year toearly Chiggernet required with purchase for termination is $9,999.99 wherein after, users will be charged a Verizon, AT&T, Sprint, T-Mobile, of Incredulous. 28 $5 fee per use of Lock Screen. MetroPCS, Virgin Mobile, Vonage or Price does not include cost of 20 Download capabilities on the Incredulous U.S. Cellular. Incredulous device. will not available 8 Expected release date for Incredulous at launch. 1 is Warning: sleeping on any Who’sit device may cause severe 19 late Summer 2014. Two-year subscription to Chiggernet does not advocate the piracy of motion pictures, but injuries. required with purchase21ofBoTEK Incredulous. 9 BoTEK does not have a clear if you know a good site, tweet us @BoTEK 2 BoTEK is currently subject to a gag order and an injunction understanding of how the Incredulous 22 The 5G network now requires 5 (five) full audible groans due to a pending lawsuit. a result, works. Please tweet usAs @BoTEK if our attorneys have (G) before each webpage will load. 4G is not available on the informed that photographs the Incredulous are not to be you haveusinformation on theofinner workings of the Incredulous Incredulous. made available to the public at device. present. 23 Only apps purchased in BoTEK’s official App Barn will 3 The legitimacy of Incredulous is currently a question before function on the Incredulous. the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals. BoTEK remains steadfast in our Issue SubmergeMag.com 24 Only Lock Screen will be available at launch. claim of legitimacy until the court reaches a decision. 25 Subscribers will receive one headshot of Brent “Data” Spiner 4 Coffee App requires coffee shop to place your order. of television’s Star Trek: The Next Generation per month 5 Caution: Incredulous will grow warmer with extended use and may cause second degree burns, scarring and loss of life. 26 For the first 15 days. Contact our Customer Service center for 1

Warning: sleeping on any Who’sit device may cause severe injuries.

It doesn’t stop there. Music fans are going to love this device. Every Incredulous comes pre-loaded with the six-times Platinum, debut album, Girl You Know It’s True from the Grammy Award-winning Best New Artist of 1990, Milli Vanilli. We even preset your ringer to the boys’ No. 1 hit, “Baby Don’t Forget My Number!” No, you don’t have to thank us. Giving is what we do at BoTEK, which is why we are also going to throw in a free Who’sit to the first 5 million people that purchase the Incredulous. The wait to use your phone with your foot is nearly 8 over! With all of those sweet apps, it’s a wonder how the Incredulous manages to handle the workload.9 Well, all we can say is, it works.10 The Incredulous comes packed with a 20-mini-core11 2.3 GHz12 IMD Mega Ultra Super HD processor, 4GB13 of memory, and a beautiful 8-inch14 plasma 1080p15 HD16 screen. And just wait until you see the camera on this puppy!17 The Incredulous will be available on every network18 including BoTEK’s brand new wireless service, Chiggernet.19 Download20 movies21 at lightning speeds on our 5G22 network. Sign up with Chiggernet and you’ll also get access to BoTEK’s App Barn23 and thousands of super cool apps.24 Plans including 400 minutes of no talk time, non-unlimited text and monthly Data25 start at just $75.0026 per half-month with a two-year 27 contract.28 It’s a fantastic deal, so what are you waiting for? Place your pre-order for BoTEK’s Incredulous and get ready to jam it in your face!

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Affordable. Effective. 142 • August 5 – August 19, 2013

Your Senses SEE HEAR TASTE Touch

M i d town C oc k tai l W e e k E d ition

elcome to our annual Midtown Cocktail Week edition of Submerge Your Senses! This year, MCW’s theme is “Welcome to the Show,” and it all goes down from Wednesday, Aug. 21 through Sunday, Aug. 25 at various establishments in the downtown and Midtown areas. Read on to learn about some of the great scheduled parties, events and classes. For more information and to register for many of the events, visit Midtowncocktailweek.org. Let’s all raise a glass to the hardworking people who put on all the wonderful MCW events year in and year out, and especially to our local restaurant and bar industry workers. Cheers to you! And remember folks, please don’t drink and drive. A cab is always just a call away. Hit up Yellow Cab of Sacramento at (916) 444-2222, or heck, they even have an app for iPhones and Android devices, so really there’s no excuse not to get a cab. Have fun out there and be safe, you imbibers, you!

HEAR

Bestselling Author Amy Stewart On Her Book The Drunken Botanist • Aug. 23 New York Times bestselling author Amy Stewart knows a thing or two about plants. Her sixth and latest book, The Drunken Botanist, combines her lifelong interests in botany and well-made cocktails. According to Drunkenbotanist.com, “The book explores hundreds of plants that are fermented, distilled, macerated, infused, mixed and otherwise made into drinks.” Since publishing her first book, Stewart has been on NPR’s Morning Edition and Fresh Air, she’s appeared on CBS Sunday Morning, Good Morning America and the PBS documentary The Botany of Desire. She’s also written for New York Times, the Washington Post and many other newspapers and magazines. What are we getting at, here? Stewart is legit, and she just so happens to be making her way to Sacramento to speak at one of Midtown Cocktail Week’s many educational events. Got a green thumb? Like craft cocktails? Make sure to catch her on Friday, Aug. 23 at the Citizen Hotel from 10 to 11 a.m. Visit Midtowncocktailweek. org/education for more information.

Eleakis & Elder Photography

SEE

The Big Show Cocktail Competition at LowBrau • Aug. 21 One of the main highlights of Midtown Cocktail Week is always the cocktail competitions. Sort of a who’s who of local bartending talent, these events are extremely exciting and entertaining to watch as the best mixologists in the area battle it out for the highly coveted top spot. The competitions tend to get super crowded and hit capacity and/or sell out real quick, so be sure to get your tickets nice and early for “The Big Show,” as it’s being dubbed, on MCW’s opening night, Wednesday, Aug. 21 from 6 to 9 p.m. at LowBrau (1050 20th Street). Tickets are $10 apiece and are available on Midtown Cocktail Week’s website.

TASTE

Get Local Favorite Recipes Online and Make ‘Em at Home

Experimenting with cocktails at home can be fun, albeit sometimes frustrating when things don’t turn out as tasty as they do when your favorite local bartender makes them. It always helps to have a nice place to start when looking to get your home mixology experimentation on. So, for a bunch of local favorite cocktail recipes, head to Midtowncocktailweek.org/recipes to get the inside scoop on how to make drinks like the Buffalo Buck, Romeo and Violet, Honey Badger and the Berry 75. Some are complicated, some are simple, all are delicious. Hit up a local farmer’s market or grocery store for fresh fruits and produce and then stock up on booze from Total Wine or BevMo. Invite some friends over, get to mixing and you’ve got yourself a party!

Issue 142 • August 5 – August 19, 2013

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

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One of the coolest parts of Midtown Cocktail Week is how hard the organizers strive to provide quality educational classes for both the public and area bartenders. The lineup of classes this year is exciting, with many unique themes and knowledgeable educators and speakers to help up your cocktail game. All of the classes are jam-packed into two days. On Thursday, Aug. 22, the class lineup is as follows: From 10 a.m. to noon is Soda Fountains and The Cocktail Process presented by Artisnal Spirits; from 12:30 to 1:30 p.m. is Japanese Bartending & The Art of Omotenashi presented by Suntory; from 2 to 3 p.m. is The Rise and Fall and Rise of Tiki & Exotica presented by Bols; from 3:30 to 4:30 p.m. is MCW 2013 Presents David Wondrich, sponsored by Bols; and wrapping up the Thursday classes from 5 to 6 p.m. is World Peace Through Whiskey: One Dram at a Time! presented by Laphroaig and Ardmore. Friday’s class lineup looks like this: From 10 to 11 a.m. is The Drunken Botanist presented by Artisnal Spirits; from 11:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. is Bad Cocktails Gone Good presented by Diageo; from 1 to 2 p.m. is Rum in the Americas presented by Denizen Rum; from 2:30 to 3:30 p.m. is American Whiskeys presented by Diageo; and from 3:30 to 5 p.m. is the final educational event, English Gins sponsored by Pernod Ricard. All classes require pre-registration and cost $5.00 to attend. They are all taking place at the Citizen Hotel (926 J Street) in either the Quorum Room or the Scandal Lounge.

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Issue 142 • August 5 – August 19, 2013

Andrew Friedman

Ernesto Delgado | Photo by Nicholas Wray

Sacramento, Mezcalifornia

Ernesto Delgado and Andrew Friedman gear up for a mezcal seminar and tasting event at Mayahuel for Midtown Cocktail Week Words Joe Atkins

ook, when the Spanish conquistadors rampaged through the tribes of North America in the 16th century, there were long-lasting and devastating consequences. While they might have brought with them oppression, disease, chaos and Catholicism, they also brought a bit of knowledge—specifically knowledge about distilling spirits in copper stills. This is not to say the population of the Americas was dry and sober before their “discovery”; the Aztecs were already drinking by the time the Spanish arrived, but the alcohol content of pulque, their agave beverage of choice, is equivalent to a blonde beer. While that might have been socially acceptable for the Aztecs, it was not going to cut it for an army of Spaniards who had just crossed the Pacific, murdered anyone in their path, and suddenly run out of hard booze. So, using the agave plant as their fruit, they developed a technique that would yield agave juice with a higher sugar content, and then distilled it according to western practices. The result? Mezcal, a spirit now fundamental to the Oaxaca region of Mexico. For natives, Mexicans, Mexican-Americans and liquor connoisseurs alike, mezcal is the enigmatic beverage that embodies both a certain degree

of authenticity and a particular taste. As Ernesto Delgado, owner of Mayahuel, said in a brief conversation and mezcal tasting, “The Spaniards perfected the process started by the Aztecs.” It’s been centuries since this beverage was discovered, created; yet, even today, mezcal is a complicated, sophisticated, emergent spirit that we can expect to hear more about in the coming years. On Aug. 24, the Sacramento Bartenders’ Guild will bring a series of informative seminars and tastings to Mayahuel as part of Midtown Cocktail Week, where mezcal will be the featured spirit of the day. So what exactly makes mezcal so unique? Andrew Friedman, co-chair of the education committee for the U.S. Bartenders Guild and one of the organizers for the mezcal event, has a simple answer: “Mezcal means, in translation, juice of the agave. While all tequilas are mezcals, not all mezcals are tequila. Even pulque is mezcal.” In essence it comes down to the type of agave that is used to distil the spirit, and tequila uses only the blue agave, or blue webber, where mezcal can use any one of 28 different agaves to produce its mash—the combination of water and soon-to-be fermented substance. Charles Connolly, bartender at Mayahuel

Issue 142 • August 5 – August 19, 2013

concurs. “Just like wine has different grapes, Mezcal has different agaves.” There’s a lot to mezcal, almost too much. Explaining why he is looking forward to the seminars, speakers and producers at the upcoming event, Connolly nods, “There’s still so much for me to learn.” Friedman, who also bartends at Liberty Bar in Seattle, is eager to spread the mezcal love. “Because so many people don’t know about mezcal,” he says, “we really just wanted to make it about the spirit itself.” Each of the experts we spoke with agreed that mezcal is part of the culture of Oaxaca. The production process itself speaks to the time-honored tradition of handcrafted distilling and contemporary mezcalarias. Once the agave plants have been cut down to a piña with a cöa—a large spade like tool with round edges—they are then roasted in the ground

in a three- to five-day process. In a large dug-out pit lined with stone, acrid wood is burned to ash which is then topped with the piñas, or agave hearts. This is then covered with leaves and dirt and left for the better part of a week. According to Friedman, this gets “the phenols to attach themselves to the agave hearts. They caramelize and get a rich flavor.” From here the hearts are turned into mash and distilled; then they’re ready to be served as mezcal. Unlike most quality liquors, however, mezcal is generally served joven, or not aged. This means that each experience with a new brand is raw, rampageous, and real. “After drinking whiskey for years,” explains Friedman, “I tasted mezcal and something just clicked. Every mezcal you taste is going to be different. Agave takes eight to 25 years to grow, so each different batch is going to have different

“After drinking whiskey for years, I tasted mezcal and something just clicked. Every mezcal you taste is going to be different. Agave takes eight to 25 years to grow, so each different batch is going to have different yeasts, a different flavor profile. Mezcal changes every year, with every batch.” – Andrew Friedman, U.S. Bartenders’ Guild Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

thursday, Friday and saturday 9pm No Cover!

karaoke

last tuesday oF every month

oPen mic comedy battle 9pm No Cover!

yeasts, a different flavor profile. Mezcal changes every year, with every batch.” There’s a refined experience bottled up in this fiery drink, which explains Friedman’s transition from fine whiskeys to mezcal. The taste of mezcal is full of heat, smoke, earth, burn. Much like a good whiskey burns warm, down the esophagus and into the chest, a good mezcal pokes at the tongue delicately and almost seems to sear the back of one’s throat in the best, most unique way possible. “The flavors are very earthy,” says Friedman. “Like wine, people describe a—this might sound strange—but a new tire taste, a little iodine. My first experience was with Topila, a very small agave. It only grows in the wild, usually on rocky soil. It was a rich almost rubbery flavor, but great.” The experience Friedman is describing here is this difficult hybrid of taste and feeling, the flavor and the bodily reaction to the alcohol itself. As such, Friedman notes that this experience isn’t for all drinkers. “Not everyone who likes tequila is going to like mezcal,” he details. “Just like whiskeys, scotches and bourbons, people like the different nuances, the less sweet, the more spicy. The same thing is happening with mezcal. It’s definitely a return to the artisanal. Also it’s a lot more expensive. The average cost of a bottle of mescal is about $45.” To accentuate that high-end pricing, there’s also a spiritual side to mezcal. Folklore has it that drinking mezcal can produce a supernatural experience, a trip, a rite of passage, a hallucinogenic stumble down the pathways of your being. Freidman, having visited Oaxaca recently to see the production side of mezcal, saw first hand how locals hooked a turkey breast and placed it in the still, “so the boiling vapors will pass thankfully over the meat.” This traditional spirit drink is for special occasions, but nonetheless it’s an ingrained part of the community. Describing how mezcal works on the mind and body after a prolonged sipping, Friedman SubmergeMag.com

imtimates, “it’s very low and very calm. You feel very connected, quiet.” Ernesto Delgado, eager to show off his mezcalaria and increase the Sacramento’s awareness of this fine fermentation, agrees. “Mezcal is more artisanal. It’s made in small batches; it’s familial. It’s just uplifting, too intense to shoot.” While speaking with us, Delgado happily pulled a few choice bottles off of his colorful Oaxaca-inspired shelves to try. We sipped three different producers: Pierde Almas Joven, San Juan Alipus, and El Tinieblo Joven. The Pierde Almas, our second favorite, burned on the tip of the tongue with a direct, aggressive flavor. The San Juan Alipus had the richest profile—a fruity scent, smoky, with a light burn that lingered on the back of the tongue, traveling down the back of the throat. This combination seems right for enjoying over a conversation with longstanding friends. Finally the El Tinieblo had a hot heat, a direct flavor that warmed the chest but felt most like a metal still in its bluntness. Unsurprisingly, as we had been told by mezcal enthusiasts, none of these different brands could be mistaken for the other despite their similarities. So, whether you’re a longtime tequila drinker, a whiskey enthusiast, a native of the Americas, or a mild mannered magazine reader, feel free to visit Mayahuel on Aug. 24 during Midtown Cocktail Week for an introduction to mezcal. The bartenders and mixologists are already playing with this unique and nuanced distillation, and, as Andrew Freidman describes it, “It really is just a class for booze nerds.” Go on, geek out on the agave.

Mezcal: A Love Story, Mayahuel’s mezcal seminar and tasting event, will take place Aug. 24. Doors will open at noon with the seminar lasting from 12:30 to 2 p.m. A large brand tasting will begin after lunch from 4 to 7 p.m. Mayahuel is located at 1200 K Street in Sacramento. For ticket information, call (916) 441-7200.

tuesday

august 6 battle of the musicians

9pm No Cover!

sunday

august 11 live music! Karate IN the Carport

(a mIx of aCoustIC pop, jazz aNd hIp-hop) 8pm sunday

august 18

No Cover!

comedy takes over 8pm the Pine cove No Cover!

Carlos rodrIguez, matt raymoNd, stepheN furey, jaIme ferNaNdez, johNNy taylor, ray molINa, stepheN ferrIs, jt Kelley, darby herms, mIChael Cella sunday

august 25 live music!

straNge meNtal blaNK spot wIth fraNK joseph g (blues/roCK) 8pm No Cover! th &E st sac (916) 446-3624 29 Facebook.com/PinecoveTavern • TwiTTer - @PinecoveTavern Issue 142 • August 5 – August 19, 2013

Matthew Nurge

Raising the Bar The Red Rabbit Kitchen & Bar is one of the driving forces behind Sacramento’s rise to craft-cocktail prominence Words Lovelle Harris • Photos nicholas wray

Issue 142 • August 5 – August 19, 2013

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

Christopher Sinclair

hen Imbibe magazine listed Sacramento as one of the top 10 “places to visit in 2013” because of its surging craft-cocktail culture, it seemed as if by some divine alchemy the local drink scene finally made it onto the radar of cocktail enthusiasts on a national level. At the crux of the movement promoting the local hand-crafted dram is The Red Rabbit Kitchen and Bar, where you’ll only find cocktails created from the ground up— homemade syrups, freshly squeezed juices and ingredients like fresh, hand-muddled herbs join the party in the glass. “This year we’ve had a lot of national, and some international, focus on Sacramento as being a legitimate cocktail town,” says Matthew Nurge, one of the restaurant’s partners. “To be mentioned now in the same conversation as Portland, as Seattle, as New York and San Francisco is awesome.” When longtime friends Nurge and Sonny Mayugba (chef John Bays is also a part owner) opened the doors to their hare-themed restaurant in February 2012, their vision was simple: to create a chill environment where cocktail nerds and neophytes alike could luxuriate in high-quality food and drink. “The whole idea behind this restaurant is we wanted to do kind of a sexy upscale atmosphere, but we really wanted the attitude to be casual and easy and simple,” Nurge says. “So the whole idea between both the food program and the bar program is that we come up with simple, delicious, affordable food and beverage. We want to be a neighborhood craft

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bar, our motto is ‘Raising the Neighborhood Bar,’ so we wanted to have the same casual vibe of a neighborhood joint with some good stuff—good food and drink.” A sentiment embraced by the cheerful and enthusiastic staff behind the bar. “We work really hard to make sure that everyone who comes in here feels welcome. There’s a complete lack of pretension that’s in here,” says Christopher Sinclair, Red Rabbit bartender and president of the Sacramento Bartenders Guild. “It sort of oozes out of the walls. I mean from the way that we talk to each other to the way we talk to our customers.” Much like the “farm-to-fork” movement that’s filled the bellies of local foodies, a burgeoning “farm-to-glass” campaign is starting to resonate with those looking to get their quaff on. “People see beverages the same way they see food,” Nurge says. “They want great chefs using great products and making them great food, [and] they want great bartenders using great products to make great drinks.” Nurge, a Sacramento native and selfprofessed “cocktail nerd” cut his teeth in the bar business as a youngster hanging out with his mother while she tended bar at Joe Marty’s on Broadway, but perfected his skills as a mixologist at R15 and The Shady Lady Saloon. Boasting an eclectic roster of spirits, the cocktail menu is a throwback to the fine art of cocktail-making that was the hallmark of the pre-prohibition era.

“Some of them are from old recipes dating back to the 1800s and some of them are kind of modern twists on some of those,” Nurge says. “It’s kind of an amalgamation of that, some are mine, some are stolen, some were lost to history.” Nurge credits partner Mayugba, yes, the same Mayugba that put out the seditious zine Heckler back in the day, as the “superconnector” for bringing together a brilliant cast of restaurant and bar industry talents— including longtime chef John Bays, who honed his culinary chops in the kitchens of heavy-hitting restaurants like Mulvaney’s B&L, Morton’s and Rio City Cafe. “I’ve never known anyone in my life who can get things done as easily as he can, he just says things and makes them so,” Nurge gushes about Mayugba. “There’s almost something magical about it, he puts it out there and it just happens. So, Sonny put us together, basically.” The cocktail menu is an exercise in restraint—you won’t find an encyclopediasized treatise of offerings—mixed with cheeky nods to social movements (Harvey Milk punch), historical references (Krakow salt mine) and literature, like the trio of tastings inspired by Chuck Palahniuk’s Fight Club. “First rule of ‘flight club’ is you don’t talk about it,” Nurge jokes. “The ‘flight club’ is just a simple idea I had to help introduce people to things that maybe they haven’t tried before. It’s an affordable way to try new things or to try things that you already love. The price is ridiculously low. I mean it’s $15 for three

tastes and some of the stuff you might get in there is $15 a pour on its own. It’s a fun way to get people to try new stuff; that was my intention, anyway.” Nurge adds that bartender culture also served as inspiration for one of the libations on the Red Rabbit menu. “With the ‘buck hunter,’ the style of cocktail is a buck (a class of cocktail that mixes ginger beer or ginger ale with citrus and spirits) and Buck Hunter is a video game that bartenders like to play,” Nurge says. “For whatever reason, I don’t know why [Buck Hunter] , somehow became synonymous with bartenders.” With Midtown Cocktail Week quickly approaching, another reason for the nod to the local liquid culture by the editors of Imbibe, Nurge and the rest of the Red Rabbit contingent are planning a bevy of activities surrounding the fete. From a competition that takes its inspiration from the three-legged races of family reunions and picnics, involving a suit in which two bartenders will literally be attached at the hip, to a pop-up event demonstrating the talents of its drink-slinging employees, the Red Rabbit is gearing up for the alcohol-infused festivities. “On Sunday, Aug. 25, we have an event called ‘Best in Show,’” Nurge says. “We’re the last event, and the last event tends to be kind of what we’ve dubbed the closing party. It’s sponsored by Maker’s Mark, and we’re doing a blue ribbon county fair meets pig roast event, so we’ll have carnival games and prizes and a continued on page 16

Issue 142 • August 5 – August 19, 2013

nice, big, fat pig roasting in a box.” At the core of the Red Rabbit’s bar program is a dedication to quality ingredients, but it’s the partners’ belief in, and commitment to, the ideals surrounding the locavore movement that extends beyond the bar and spills out onto just about every facet of its business model that makes it so distinctive. “We have a program, the employee incentive program; not that anyone’s made too many dollars from it, but every employee here is actually a part owner,” Nurge explains. “So the employees collectively own five percent [of the business].” The partners are looking to expand the reach of the hare; Nurge alludes to a possible expansion effort into “The Kay” district and hints at even breaking with a few craft-cocktail traditions when Sinclair suggests the addition of milkshakes to the menu.

“That means we need a blender,” Nurge retorts. “I’ve been on a no blender rule for like eight years. When the whole cocktail resurgence started, everyone who thought they knew something, thought they knew everything, so all of a sudden there were all of these new rules. You know, like no one makes Long Islands, no one carries Jägermeister, no one has a blender, no one carries Red Bull or blue Curaçao.” “Jäger’s actually great. Bros don’t shoot it anymore,” Sinclair chides. “Fireball took over, so now it’s socially acceptable to drink Jäger.” After surviving a year in one of the toughest businesses to break through in, as well as a nasty smear campaign by a disgruntled Yelper, the Red Rabbit endeavors to follow in the footsteps of its block mates, notably, Harlow’s and Centro. “I think we just have a rad concept. We have good product, at what I believe is a good

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value, and we have good people that work for us,” Nurge says. “That’s a big key to the success of this business.” Nurturing the talent in its ranks, while looking to spread the gospel of the Sacramento craft-cocktail scene, Nurge is thrilled by, and, most importantly, supports his employees’ desire to travel the world in search of inspiration—from competitions in Chicago to Puerto Rico. “I get to meet awesome bartenders and see what they’re doing outside of just our little bubble,” Sinclair says. “It also allows me to spread the good word that is Sacramento and get people really, really excited about coming here and getting excited about seeing this place and bring sort of the appreciation the city deserves, as well as this restaurant.” The philosophy of craft doctrine also appears to be spilling out into the corporate market—with franchises like Disney and

OPEN TUES-SAT 11-11 • SUN 11-3

Issue 142 • August 5 – August 19, 2013

fri aug 8 (6-9pm) opening reception

bowscollective.com wed aug 7 (8pm) live music

sat aug 10 (5pm) record swap

thu aug 8 (8pm) live music

TUE AUg 13 (8pm) open mic night

Randy Mckean, Goggle Quartet, COMA

fri aug 9 (8pm) live music

Best in Show, The Red Rabbit’s official Midtown Cocktail Week event, will take place from 1 to 4 p.m. on Aug. 25. Admission is free. For a full list of MCW events, go to Midtowncocktailweek.org.

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Applebee’s serving up their own craft-inspired cocktails on their respective menus. The movement looks like it’s gaining some serious mainstream credence. “That’s why T.G.I. Friday’s has craft cocktails on their menu now,” Nurge explains. “It’s everywhere, it’s spreading, but in a good way. It’s a pain in the ass—just ask Carlos over there—to juice for five hours a day, but the end result in the product is irreplaceable.”

Soft Science, Summer Cannibals, Atlas & Arrows

River City Vinyl Swap DJ’s Ben Johnson & Zack Shaw

Creative Confluence

wed aug 14 (8pm) comedY night Open Mic hosted by Ray Molina

thu aug 15 (8pm) live music

Kittens Having Kittens, Dynamic Fuzz Bomb, Knock Knock

fri aug 16 (8pm) live music

Some Fear None, Onelegchuck

sat aug 17 (8pm) live music

Ivan & Alyosha, The Record Company, Cold Eskimo

the air show & elemental possibilities INSTAllATION AND NEw pHOTOS By

MElANIE BOwN

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

SubmergeMag.com

Issue 142 • August 5 – August 19, 2013

dead in seconds • zeroclient

August 15

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August 23

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September 6

1417 R STREET SACRAMENTO

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August 16

la noche oSKura

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August 7

Some Fear none For all i’ve done • Fair struggle

Kryptic memorieS

With SpecialGueSt

FFG

August 17

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Will Haven • leSdySticS deatH valley HigH • sex rat

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August 24

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prima donna

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September 11

Gary NumaN With SpecialGueSt

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August 28

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August 9

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SomethinG unto nothinG

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August 10

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August 20

August 31

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September 14

September 5

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August 11

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Issue 142 • August 5 – August 19, 2013

August 21

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Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

playah K

Kyle lucas • Hearts & Hands • BleacH Blonde

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COMiNG SOON

October 11

ThuRSdAy November 14

Misfits

The Attack • The Secretions Avenue Saints

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October 22

SATuRdAy November 30

Great white Rue The Night

SuNdAy december 8

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Metalachi

October 12

wEdNESdAy december 11

Blood On The dance floor f R i dAy

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T h u R S dAy

October 17

October 25

Heavygrinder • Farewell My Love The Relapse Symphony • Haley Rose Oh, The horror

@ dimple Records, Armadillo All Shows Tickets Available Online: AceOfSpadesSac.com All Ages By Phone: 1.877.GNd.CTRL OR 916.443.9202 Issue 142 • August 5 – August 19, 2013

Mango Olus 8"x8" Gouache and Pencil, 2012

Ops Crus 8"x8" Gouache and Pencil, 2012

Solia Mugil 12"x12" Gouache and Pencil, 2012

I spy the fourth dimension

L.A. Artist Michelle Weinstein brings geometrical heaven to Sacramento Words Nur Kausar

T Glans Tessera, 12”x12”, Gouache and pencil on paper

Glans Tessera, 12”x12”, Gouache and pencil on paper

Spicula, 12”x12”, Gouache and pencil on paper

Issue 142 • August 5 – August 19, 2013

hough some artists like to leave their work up for interpretation, Michelle Weinstein’s collection, Fourth, intrigues and inspires more so after hearing her story behind it. Weinstein is a Los Angeles-based visual artist who has experimented for 15-plus years with drawing, painting, large installations and— most recently—stop motion cut-paper animation. Weinstein’s work is different from anything Barry Sakata has ever shown in his 15 years of owning b. sakata garo, he says, where Fourth will hang as a solo exhibit through August. To convince him, Weinstein took an 18-hour bus ride from L.A. to Sacramento with several of her pieces (she doesn’t have a driver’s license). She jokes that’s why Sakata agreed to the show. “Her style intrigues me because it involves a lot of movement in her work. I wanted to give her a chance because I like her as a person,” Sakata says. “I show art I enjoy myself: abstract, figurative and conceptual art.” Fourth came forward after the death of Weinstein’s mother in 2009. “I started having these intense dreams of capturing her but I’d be on this balcony that was an uneven space and I could never get to her,” Weinstein says from her home in L.A. one Monday morning.

Around the same time she experienced these dreams, Weinstein started collecting and reading books about the fourth dimension. She retook a geometry class and started toying with ideas of time and space in her art. “I was most interested in 19th century mathematicians involved in fourth dimensional geometry because they visualized something to see if it was true, which is different than now when we just use numbers,” she says. Weinstein read The 4th Dimension: Toward a Geometry of Higher Reality, then contacted the author, mathematician and computer scientist Rudy Rucker. His work introduced her to Alicia Boole Stott—a 19th century mathematician whose models of the fourth dimension are showcased even today. “She was totally self-taught when women couldn’t get a formal education,” Weinstein says. “She made models of what four-dimensional shapes would look like. She just sounded so awesome. She even received an honorary doctorate, but was more excited about the canister it came in. She was really humble. Part of my project is about how people used to have these abilities and faculties of the mind. She obviously was extraordinary. But it’s like there is this other world. Like ninjas who could be totally invisible. It’s like something is dying out because we use our brains differently.” Weinstein isn’t sure how her readings and her mother’s death all came together, but the experience changed her life, and the results can be seen in this latest collection. She uses gouache, a very flat, opaque paint. At first glance, especially on a computer screen, the pieces look digital. But look closely and Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

HoT AuGuST NiGHTS • August 1 - 24

Preview Thursday

(Meet the Artists)

Paintings by Pete Wedel

Aug 8 6-9pm

2nd Saturday Artists Reception Aug 10 6-9pm

Sculpture by Michael Ryan

Show Grand Finale Aug 24 6-9pm

LittLe ReLics Boutique & Galleria 908 21st Street (between I & J) Midtown, Sacramento 95811

916.716.2319 www.littlerelics.com

Closed Sunday

Jacob's Ladder 24.5"x22.5", Gouache and pencil on paper 2010

In the Land of 45"x26" Gouache and pencil on paper you see Weinstein’s wobbly lines and the paint melting into paper—the only canvas she uses for her stills in Fourth to invoke a feeling of notetaking or experimentation. “I’m really, really nearsighted, like my eyes are good close up and bad far away and far away is to my feet,” Weinstein laughs. ”So if you see the pieces close up then you can tell they are by hand. But I think that’s a thread that runs through my older work too. Man-made versus machine. I’m not against modern technology, even with animation, but I have no desire to make digital animation. I’m not opposed to it, but it’s just personal preference. I like control of the paints, and don’t like looking at a computer and don’t like computer colors. But it is also about being contemporary. And a little bit of scifi. Are they human or nanobots?” You won’t mistake the stop motion animation for digital. The flatness of the colors and still images lends itself well to the concept of four dimensions because the viewer is not forced into a three-dimensional pivoting model. “I wanted the flattest medium because it’s about space and experience of space that is so different from perspective. It’s not glossy, doesn’t take the mark of a paintbrush. There’s no depth,” she says.

“I like control of the paints, and don’t like looking at a computer and don’t like computer colors. But it is also about being contemporary. And a little bit of sci-fi. Are they human or nanobots?” –Michelle Weinstein’s SubmergeMag.com

But that fourth dimension is deceiving. There is more depth in this work than the eye can first see. Some movement and lines are more obvious than others, like horizontal stripes varying in shade hitting diagonal lines to create a crosscut on a plane. Other paintings look like foldings that are taken apart and one can see through, despite being opaque. You have to look twice to see where you’re going within a painting. Italian futurism heavily influences Weinstein’s art, though the sexist ideals of that era turn her off to the rest of the movement, she says. However, the use of cubic shapes and lines help tell her story. Color is used to help explain the movements in the stills and Weinstein, depicts our dimension, or world, in earth tones and another world in stark black and white stripes. “A friend commented that it’s not a very L.A. color palette,” Weinstein says. “I guess it’s desert-inspired even though I grew up on the East Coast. The black and white I used because my boyfriend says the Hopi Indians have a trickster who would wear black and white because he was from another world.” Weinstein hopes to flesh out the idea of the fourth dimension as a mathematical heaven when she starts her Master’s in Fine Arts in Vancouver this fall. The program is writing-and theory-heavy, and she hopes the educational environment will bring constructive criticism as she continues to experiment with stop motion animation. “Every religion has this place beyond time that is separate,” she says. “I want to try to find physical descriptive qualities, discuss the crossover, the common ground.”

Check out the exhibit Aug. 6 through Aug. 31 at b. sakata garo, 923 20th Street. For more information on Weinstein’s work, visit Mshweinstein.com.

Issue 142 • August 5 – August 19, 2013

photo by allyson seconds

Elder Statesmen The Knockoffs and their place in Sacramento’s punk rock history Words Steph Rodriguez | photos Jay Spooner

ountry licks with a traditional punk-rock style. Twenty years of street cred earned within the ever-fluctuating Sacramento music scene. Not to mention the immeasurable amount of respect from bands such as 7Seconds, the Groovie Ghoulies, festival organizers and promoters alike. That old school, independent, doit-yourself mentality all in the spirit of punk rock is still essential for members of The Knockoffs after all this time. The days when flyers were handed out at shows and littered the walls of bedrooms instead of sidewalks. The times before the Internet was a main tool of promotion, when actual footwork and word of mouth were the standard codes of conduct for bands. These forgotten practices continue to resonate for these four men and after a three-year pause, they’re back and ready to play as loud as they can at this year’s second annual Punch and Pie Fest on Aug. 24 at Old Ironsides. “They’re kind of like the elder statesmen of our community. I think that they’re a really important part of Sacramento’s punk rock history. They have been around for 20 years and they have been a great influence on the punk rock community,” says Punch and Pie Fest organizer and Bastards of Young bassist Sean Hills. “I have a lot of respect for them, and I think they are a great example of how to be in a band for that long without killing each other. They’ve been doing it right.” It’s a roundtable meeting of sorts within the living room of vocalist and guitar player Tom Hutchison, or as

Issue 142 • August 5 – August 19, 2013

his mates like to call him, “Little Tom.” On this Sunday afternoon Danny Secretion, Tom Amberson (aka “Big Tom”) and Bobby Jordan gather around a coffee table, television muted, to speak with Submerge about their love for punk rock music, keeping the scene healthy by ways of encouraging young talent and laughing so hard during practices until their muscles ache and eyes water. “It’s like we’re in the eighth grade and someone’s parents are gone,” says bassist Jordan of the band’s camaraderie. “It’s one of the fibers of my life.” Forming in the early ’90s, The Knockoffs have had their fair share of lineup changes. At times, certain members would even jump from guitar to bass and then back to guitar just to keep the process moving. Eventually, the guys found what worked and ultimately solidified their lineup. Each person comes with their own unique set of experiences or outlooks complete with a list of either a second or third punk rock band they’re also heavily involved in. Like Secretions’ longtime run with The Moans, The Shitty Ramones and The Secretions; or Bobby Jordan doubling up with The Mr. T Experience. Hell, Amberson credits The Knockoffs giving him the opportunity to sit behind the drum kit and learn a completely new instrument by simply joining the ranks. All of these elements are finished with a traditional punk and rock ’n’ roll-style of vocals with just the right amount of gruff, thanks to Hutchison, especially heard within Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

k e e w l i a t ock c n w o t d i m 9 -12 aug 21 , y a d s e n ed

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go CaCh & Novo Fo

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The Red R

the playful lyrics during songs such as “You Make Me Sit Funny” from The Knockoffs’ second full-length album Sell the Move. Yet, after all the changes, instrument shuffles and years tacked behind them, their chemistry works. And their time spent performing and practicing as The Knockoffs means more to each member than just another punk rock band they’re a part of. In the end, all members say they genuinely enjoy one another and have witnessed each go through life changes ranging from marriage to welcoming Jordan’s new baby girl to the family. “Having a baby has made me want to do this even more,” says Jordan. “I want music to be around her while some people retreat in music with babies and families.” Encouraging music within a younger audience is a duty each member of the band adopts with no questions asked; to them it’s necessary to keep the tight-knit punk rock community healthy. Both Secretion and Jordan recall bands like 7Seconds and the Groovie Ghoulies mentoring them, by means of showing them the unspoken codes of ethics, respect and even honesty when it comes to door money. “We were really lucky that we had those bands take us under their wing,” remembers Secretion. “The thing that I notice is that the older bands kind of groom the younger ones. When you see bands like Mad Judy or Abandoned Generation, these kids are too young to even get into the shows we’re playing, but seeing them and the younger generation of punk rock, I know it’s going to be OK in Sacramento.” SubmergeMag.com

“The thing that I notice is that the older bands kind of groom the younger ones. When you see bands like Mad Judy or Abandoned Generation, these kids are too young to even get into the shows we’re playing, but seeing them and the younger generation of punk rock, I know it’s going to be OK in Sacramento.” – Danny Secretion, The Knockoffs These four men remember performing shows at Old Ironsides 20 years ago for five bucks. Fast forward a couple decades later and the guys are still playing shows at that price—and happily, which Jordan says is a testament to The Knockoffs, genuine love for the music alone. And they aren’t planning on closing their guitar cases or retiring their drum sticks ever—they’re all here to stay. “We’re like an old, wore out, stinky pair of shoes,” jokes Jordan, sitting next to Hutchison and directly sending the rest of the guys into laughter. “I’m looking forward Punch and Pie Fest 2 will heat to just playing my guitar up Sacramento Aug. 21–25 at The as loud as possible and Press Club, Old Ironsides, Midtown Barfly and Luigi’s Fungarden. The looking over my left Knockoffs will perform at Old shoulder and seeing these Ironsides on Aug. 24 with Dr. Frank, Bright Faces and Arts and Leisure. guys play their asses off," For a full Punch and Pie Fest says Secretion. "That’s schedule, go to Punchandpiefest. com or go to Facebook.com/ going to mean so much. punchandpieproductions. You ain’t seen the last of us."

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Issue 142 • August 5 – August 19, 2013

904 15th Street 443.2797

aug. 5 – 19

Between I & J • Downtown Sacramento

submergemag.com/calendar

music, comedy & misc. Calendar

august 6 - 18 tuEs

WED

Quinn Hedges 5:30PM

Lew Fratis

9PM acoustic oPen Mic 5:30PM

HoweLL devine Band 9PM X trio 5PM

tHuRs

JeraMy norris & tHe

dangerous Mood 9PM

FRI

PaiLer & Fratis 5:30PM

MaX caBeLLo 9PM

sat

JoHnny guitar KnoX 5PM

voLKer striFLer 9PM BLues JaM 4PM

sun

tuEs

WED

tHuRs

15 FRI

dave KeLLer

8PM BiLL MyLar 5:30PM

Music sHowcase

8PM

acoustic oPen Mic 5:30PM

deLta city raMBLers 9PM X trio 5PM

stePHen rotH Band 9PM

PaiLer & Fratis 5:30PM

orQuestra dHarMa 9PM

8.05 Monday

The Boxing Donkey Open Mic Variety Night, 8 p.m. The Colony Ratbite, Get Bent, Final Decay, Carbomb Commies, 8 p.m. Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m. Fox & Goose Open Mic Night, 7:30 p.m. Luna’s Cafe Nebraska Mondays hosted by Ross Hammond, 7:30 p.m. Marilyn’s Showcase Monday’s, 8 p.m. Old Ironsides Heath Williamson and Friends, 5 p.m. Powerhouse Pub Karaoke, 9 p.m. Press Club Be Brave Bold Robot, The Kitchen, Safe Word, 8 p.m. Sol Collective Microphone Mondays, 8 p.m.

8.06 Tuesday

Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m. LowBrau Le Twist w/ Pale Blue Dot, Sam I Jam, Adam J, Taylor Cho, Roger Carpio, 9 p.m. Marilyn’s Classic Rock & Blues Review, 8 p.m. Old Ironsides Karaoke, 9 p.m. Pine Cove Battle of the Musicians, 9 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub College Night w/ DJ Rigatony, DJ Alazzawi, 10:30 p.m. Shine Jazz Jam w/ Jason Galbraith & Guests, 8 p.m. Sidetrax Kuss Kuss w/ Ernie Fresh (of Who Cares), Kenny Floggins, 9 p.m. T2 Nightclub & Lounge Karaoke, 9 p.m. Torch Club Quinn Hedges, 5:30 p.m.; Lew Fratis, 9 p.m.

8.07 Wednesday

Ace of Spades Panteon Rococo, Lost Acapulco, La Noche Oskura, 7 p.m. Assembly Carson Allen, Ashtree, No Astro, Orion Walsh & The Rambling Hearts, DJ Dose, 7:30 p.m. Bar 101 Open Mic, 7:30 p.m. The Blue Lamp The Goddamn Gallows, Avenue Saints, Calamity Cubes, 9 p.m. Bows and Arrows Randy Mckean, Goggle Quartet, COMA, 8 p.m. Club Car The Double Shots, 7:30 p.m. The Colony We Sleep Forever, Set to Kill, Eden, 30 Cent Solution, Frailed Sanity, 8 p.m. Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m. District 30 DJ Benji & Luigi, 9 p.m. Fox & Goose Northern Soul, 8 p.m. Harlow’s Antoine Dufour, Craig D’Andrea, Adrian Bellue, 6 p.m.

Laughs Unlimited Karaoke, 8 p.m. LowBrau Record Club All-Vinyl Happy Hour w/ Roger Carpio & Guests, 5 p.m. Marilyn’s Douglas and the Furs, Jay Shaner Band, 8 p.m. Mix DJ Gabe Xavier, DJ Peeti-V, 9 p.m. Old Ironsides Open Mic, 9 p.m. Parlare Shine w/ DJ Epik, DJ Oasis, DJ Lahn, 9 p.m. Powerhouse Pub Good Samaritans, Saint Solitaire, Women, 8 p.m. Press Club Dance Your Tits Off w/ Mike Diamond, 9 p.m. Sophia’s Thai Kitchen Open Mic, 8 p.m. Torch Club Acoustic Open Mic, 5:30 p.m.; Howell Devine Band, 9 p.m.

8.08 thursday

Bar 101 Karaoke, 7:30 p.m. Bisla’s Sports Bar and Rock Lounge Silhouette of Mirrors, Astral Cult, Korean Fire Drill, 9 p.m. The Boardwalk Huj, Spencer Borup, Tango, The Westwards, 6 p.m. Bows and Arrows Classical Revolution, 8 p.m. Club Car Songwriters Showcase, 8 p.m. The Coffee Garden Open Mic Night, 8 p.m. The Colony Darrow Chemical Company, Left Hand, Avenue Saints, Strange Party, 8 p.m.

use a qr scanner on your smart phone to view calendar online

District 30 Eddie Halliwell, 9 p.m. Dive Bar Dueling Pianos, 9 p.m. Fox & Goose Danger Cakes, Dead Horses, 8 p.m. Harlow’s Guero, The DA Project, Crossing the River, 8 p.m. Harrah’s Lake Tahoe Chicago Tribute Authority, 8:30 p.m. Lakeview Commons (South Lake Tahoe) Live at Lakeview w/ 40 Watt Hype, 4:30 p.m. Level Up Lounge Karaoke, 9 p.m. Luigi’s Fungarden Stanley & The Search, Tiger Lily, 8 p.m. Marilyn’s Rock On Live Band Karaoke, 9 p.m. Mix DJ Eddie Edul, DJ Peeti V, 9 p.m. Old Ironsides Jenn Rogar, 5 p.m.; Music Box w/ Missy Mark, 9:30 p.m. On the Y Chernobog, Dead in Seconds, Legions Requiem, Dispurity, Stignob, 9 p.m. Pine Cove Karaoke, 9 p.m. Powerhouse Pub Sandy Nuyts, 9:30 p.m. Press Club Captured by Robots, Uberkunst, Instagon, 8 p.m. R15 Z Rokk, 9 p.m. Shine The Dave Lynch Group, The Kyle Shafer Group, 8 p.m. Sleep Train Amphitheatre Luke Bryan, 7 p.m. The Stoney Inn Luke Bryan After Party w/ Whiskey Dawn, 10 p.m. Torch Club X Trio, 5 p.m.; Jeramy Norris & the Dangerous Mood, 9 p.m.

Hans eBerBacH 5:30PM

sat

seans Bday BasH witH

tHe coaLition 9PM

sun

BLues JaM 4PM

tHe goLden cadiLLacs 8PM

torchclub.net 24

8.07

Howell Devine Band Torch Club 9 p.m.

Issue 142 • August 5 – August 19, 2013

8.08 40 Watt Hype Live at Lakeview

Lakeview Commons 4:30 p.m. Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

Panteón Rococó

8/7

8/23 the MeLviNs

8/9 Plain White t’s

Lost AcApuLco • LA Noche oskurA

ffg

8/10

SummeR Jam 13

iNcredibLe Me • iWishWeWererobots MerchANts • kiNgdoM of giANts outsiders • ALtessA before You fALL • eLLipsis citAdeL • sLeep citY, sLeep

8/11 MAtisYAhu street urchiNz

8/15 Led zeppeLiN 2

hoNkeY

9/21 iamSu

kooL johN • jAY ANt • pLAYAh k

10/18 roAch gigz

8/24 kiLL the PRecedent CD release show

9/25 tech N9Ne

10/19 gWaR

WiLL hAveN • deAth vALLeY high LesdYstics • sex rAt

8/28 gaRy numan cold cave

8/31 the AcAciA StRain

WithiN the ruiNs • xibALbA fit for AN AutopsY • AMericAN Me

9/05

8/16 molotov SangRe

LAuNch festivAL kick-off pArtY WallPaPeR an angle Mister MetAphor

8/17 stepchiLd

9/6 (hed)pe

soMe feAr NoNe • for ALL i’ve doNe fAir struggLe • krYptic MeMories

8/20 QueeNsrYche soMethiNg uNto NothiNg south of sANitY

8/21 animalS aS leadeRS NAveNe • jourNAL LegioNs reQuieM • bisporA

deAd iN secoNds• zerocLieNt

9/11 adam ant PRima donna

9/12 the sLAckers 9/13

Aftershock festivAL pre-pArtY

steeL pANther 9/14 dizzY Wright eMiLio rojAs • futuristic

9/19 iRation

through the roots fortuNAte Youth • MicAh broWN

krizz kALiko • !MAYdAY! • steve stoNe prozAk • ces cru AMericAz Most hAuNted

9/27 dance gavin dance CD release AbANdoN ALL ships iNcredibLe Me • stoLAs

9/28 frighteNed Rabbit

WhitechApeL • iroN reAgAN a band of oRcS

10/20 attila

soMethiNg uNto NothiNg • south of sANitY

10/22 streetLight manifeSto 10/25 PaRmalee

10/1 betWeeN the buRied and me

10/26 Jonny cRaig

10/3 tWiztid

11/11 cLutch

the fAceLess • coNtortioNist • sAfetY fire

MAdchiLd • bLAze YA deAd hoMie AQuALeo • bruthA sMith

10/4 SenSeS fail

for the fALLeN dreAMs • expire being aS an ocean

10/11 andRe NickAtiNA

krAzie boNe (froM boNe thugs ‘N hArMoNY)

10/12 ArdeN pArk RootS 10/17 StoRy of the YeAr

kYLe LucAs • heArts & hANds bLeAch bLoNde

the sWord • AMericAN shArks

11/12 mayday PaRade 11/14 miSfitS

the AttAck • the secretioNs avenue SaintS

11/30 greAt White rue the Night

12/8 MetALAchi 12/11 bLood oN the dance flooR

heAvYgriNder • fAreWeLL MY Love the reLApse sYMphoNY • hALeY rose oh, the horror

1417 R STREET • SACRAMENTO ACEOFSPADESSAC.COM

All Shows All Ages SubmergeMag.com

Tickets Available @ Dimple Records, The Beat, Armadillo (Davis) Online: AceOfSpadesSac.com By Phone: 1.877.GND.CTRL OR 916.443.9202 Issue 142 • August 5 – August 19, 2013

8.10 Saturday

Cab ride or DUI. You choose.

8.09

the blank tapes

Hindu Pirates, Mystic Braves

Sophia’s Thai Kitchen 9 p.m.

8.09 Friday

444-2222

Ace of Spades Plain White T’s, FFG, 7 p.m. Bar 101 The Ripoffs, 9:30 p.m. The Blue Lamp Smallpools, 8 p.m. The Boardwalk The Holdup, They Went Ghost, ianC, No Where But Up, 7 p.m. Bows and Arrows Soft Science, Summer Cannibals, Atlas & Arrows, 8 p.m. The Boxing Donkey Tony Bataska, 9 p.m. Capitol Garage Dub Culture w/ DK Wokstar, DJ Jaytwo, 10 p.m. Center for the Arts Jesca Hoop, Garrett Pierce, 8 p.m. District 30 DJ Oasis & INKDUP, 9 p.m. Fox & Goose Sacto Soul Rebels, Antique Naked, Soul, 9 p.m. Golden Bear DJ Crook, 10 p.m. Harlow’s Youth Lagoon, TIARAS (ex-Ganglians), Roxanne (of The Sandwitches), 8:30 p.m. Harrah’s Lake Tahoe DJ Nick V, 10:30 p.m. Laguna Town Hall Groove Thang, 6:30 p.m. Level Up Lounge Hot Pants w/ DJ Rock Bottom, 9 p.m. Luigi’s Fungarden The Common Men, Razorblade Monalisa, Slow Motion Dive, 9 p.m. Luna’s Cafe Blame the Bishop, Adam Marsland, Bellygunner, 8 p.m. Marilyn’s The Silent Comedy, The Wooden Revolt, 8 p.m. Midtown BarFly Get Down to the Champion Sound w/ DJ Esef and guests, 10 p.m. Mix DJ Mike Moss, 9 p.m. MontBleu Resort Casino Andre Nickatina, 10 p.m. Old Ironsides William Mylar, 5 p.m.; DJ French Rocker, R.S./ Mod Philo, Numonix, Features, 8 p.m.

Issue 142 • August 5 – August 19, 2013

The Park Ultra Lounge DJ Five, 9 p.m. Pine Cove Karaoke, 9 p.m. PJ’s Roadhouse Fabulous Liars, 9 p.m. Powerhouse Pub Cover Me Badd, 9 p.m. Press Club DJ Rue, 9 p.m. Red Hawk Casino Whiskey Dawn, 10 p.m. Shine Kim Davis Studio Recital, 7 p.m. Sophia’s Thai Kitchen The Blank Tapes, Hindu Pirates, Mystic Braves, 9 p.m. Swabbies on the River Metal Shop, 6:30 p.m. Thunder Valley Casino Resort Gladys Knight, The O’Jays, 7 p.m. Torch Club Pailer & Fratis, 5:30 p.m.; Max Cabello, 9 p.m.

Ace of Spades Incredible Me, I Wish We Were Robots, Merchants, Kingdom Of Giants, Outsiders, Altessa, Before You Fall, Ellipsis, Citadel, Sleep City Sleep, 4 p.m. Assembly 2nd Saturday Sessions w/ Valu Fa, Ya Boy Mo, Maeli, Fina Love, Squarefield Massive, DJ Reef, DJ Vision, 9 p.m. The Blue Lamp Warp 11, 9 p.m. The Boxing Donkey Adam Donald, 9 p.m. Cache Creek Casino The Whispers, 8 p.m. Capitol Garage Feel Good Saturday’s w/ DJ Epik, 10 p.m. Center for the Arts Preservation Hall Jazz Band, 8 p.m. Clark’s Corner The Knockouts, 9 p.m. Club Car Dennis Johnson & the Ramblers, 9 p.m. The Colony Hit Reset, Communist Kayte, The Bar Fly Effect, Rebel Radio, 8 p.m. District 30 DJ Billy Lane, 9 p.m. Fox & Goose Followers of Sunshine, Bellygunner, Miss Massive, Snowflake, 9 p.m. KBAR Z Rokk, 9 p.m. Level Up Lounge Guest DJs, 9 p.m. Luna’s Cafe Xochitl, Keaton Nelson, Scott Berrian, 9 p.m. Marilyn’s Jukebox Johnny, 9 p.m.

MARRS Building THIS feat. Yacht, Rush Midnight, DoomBird, DJ Crook One, 4 p.m. Mix DJ Eddie Edul, 8:30 p.m. Old Ironsides Odame Sucks, The Taylor Chicks, JD Valerio, 9 p.m. Pine Cove Karaoke, 9 p.m. PJ’s Roadhouse Pointdexter, 9 p.m. Powerhouse Pub Sock Monkeys, 3 p.m.; Inspector 71, 9 p.m. Press Club DJ Larry Rodriguez, 9 p.m. Rail Bridge Cellars Penthouse Lounge Cory Norris, 5 p.m. Red Hawk Casino Aces Up, 10 p.m. Shine Brian Souder Blue, Carissa Leigh, 8 p.m. Sleep Train Amphitheatre Train, The Script, Gavin Degraw, 7 p.m. Sophia’s Thai Kitchen Body Parts, Maston, Genuis, 9 p.m. Swabbies on the River Savannah Blue, 4:30 p.m. Torch Club Johnny Guitar Knox, 5 p.m.; Volker Strifler, 9 p.m.

8.11 Sunday

Ace of Spades Matisyahu, Street Urchinz, 7 p.m. Assembly Kim Waters (CD Release), 5 p.m. & 7:30 p.m. The Blue Lamp Brown Show, A House For Lions, 6 p.m. Cache Creek Casino Los Koras Del Norte, 5 p.m. Capitol Garage Karaoke w/ Jeff Jenkins, 9 p.m.

8.10 train

The Script, Gavin Degraw

Sleep Train Amphitheatre 7 p.m.

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

Old Ironsides Open Mic, 9 p.m. Parlare Shine w/ DJ Epik, DJ Oasis, DJ Lahn, 9 p.m. Powerhouse Pub In the Silence, Defyant Circle, Trikome, 8 p.m. Press Club Fools Rush, Mad Judy, 8 p.m. Torch Club Acoustic Open Mic, 5:30 p.m.; Delta City Ramblers, 9 p.m.

8.15

Hans Eberbach

Sandra Dolores, Tyler Rich, Kate Livoni, CC Siulapwa

Shine 8 p.m.

Center for the Arts Breathe Owl Breathe, Aaron Ross, Ian Cooke, 8 p.m. Crest Theatre Stairway to Stardom, 11 a.m. Distillery Karaoke, 8 p.m. Harlow’s The Bell Boys, For Sayle, Freeport, 6 p.m. Luigi’s Fungarden Cash Pony, Gentleman Surfer, 8 p.m. Mix DJ Gabe Xavier, 8:30 p.m. Pine Cove Karate In the Carport, 8 p.m. Powerhouse Pub Mr. December, 3 p.m. Press Club Sunday Night Soul Party w/ DJ Larry & DJ Hailey, 9 p.m. Swabbies on the River Urgent (Foreigner tribute), Longtime (Boston tribute), 4 p.m. Torch Club Blues Jam, 4 p.m.; Dave Keller, 8 p.m. UC Davis: Jackson Hall Lyle Lovett and his Large Band, 7 p.m.

8.12 Monday

The Boardwalk Mike Tramp, Mörsen, Sixes & Sevens, Drew Gai, Stoneberry, 7 p.m. The Boxing Donkey Open Mic Variety Night, 8 p.m. Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m. Fox & Goose Open Mic Night, 7:30 p.m. Luna’s Cafe Nebraska Mondays hosted by Ross Hammond, 7:30 p.m. Marilyn’s Showcase Monday’s, 8 p.m. Old Ironsides Heath Williamson & Friends, 5 p.m. Powerhouse Pub Karaoke, 9 p.m. Press Club Snake Island, For Sayle, Jilt vs. Jonah, Orion Walsh, 8 p.m. Sol Collective Microphone Mondays, 8 p.m.

SubmergeMag.com

8.13 Tuesday

The Boardwalk My Ticket Home, Night Verses, I Am King, Defy the Odds, Cellsomatic, 6:30 p.m. Bows and Arrows Open Mic Night, 8 p.m. Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m. LowBrau Le Twist w/ Dusty Brown, Sam I Jam, Adam J, Taylor Cho, Roger Carpio, 9 p.m. Marilyn’s Classic Rock & Blues Review, 8 p.m. Old Ironsides Karaoke, 9 p.m. Pine Cove Open Mic Night, 9 p.m. Powerhouse Pub College Night w/ DJ Rigatony, DJ Alazzawi, 10:30 p.m. Shine Jazz Jam w/ Jason Galbraith & Guests, 8 p.m. T2 Nightclub & Lounge Karaoke, 9 p.m. Torch Club Bill Mylar, 5:30 p.m.; Music Showcase, 8 p.m.

8.14 wednesday

Bar 101 Open Mic, 7:30 p.m. The Boardwalk The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, The Material, Mercedes Ave, Self Proclaimed, 7 p.m. Club Car The Double Shots, 7:30 p.m. Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m. District 30 DJ Elements, DJ A-1, 9 p.m. Fox & Goose Northern Soul, 8 p.m. Harlow’s Reckless Kelly, Wade Bowen, Micky and The Motorcars, 8 p.m. Laughs Unlimited Karaoke, 8 p.m. Marilyn’s The Solvents, 8 p.m. Mix DJ Gabe Xavier, DJ Peeti-V, 9 p.m.

8.15 Thursday

Ace of Spades Led Zeppelin 2, 7 p.m. Assembly Mike Stud, DJ MTK, Kurt, 7 p.m. Bar 101 Karaoke, 7:30 p.m. Bisla’s Sports Bar and Rock Lounge Incrusted Dust, Zero for Zero, 9 p.m. Bows and Arrows Kittens Having Kittens, Dynamic Fuzz Bomb, Knock Knock, 8 p.m. Club Car Songwriters Showcase, 8 p.m. The Coffee Garden Open Mic Night, 8 p.m. District 30 Simon Patterson, 9 p.m. Dive Bar Dueling Pianos, 9 p.m. Fox & Goose Steve McLane, 8 p.m. Harlow’s Be Brave Bold Robot, CFR, Tao Jiriki, 8 p.m. Harrah’s Lake Tahoe Unauthorized Rolling Stones, 8:30 p.m. Lakeview Commons (South Lake Tahoe) Live at Lakeview w/ The Congress, 4:30 p.m. Level Up Lounge Karaoke, 9 p.m. Marilyn’s Rock On Live Band Karaoke, 9 p.m. Mix DJ Eddie Edul, DJ Peeti V, 9 p.m. Old Ironsides Jenn Rogar, 5 p.m.; Bluegrass Acoustic Jam, 7:30 p.m. Pine Cove Karaoke, 9 p.m. Powerhouse Pub Michael Beck Band, 9 p.m. Press Club Psychosomatic, Solanum, 9 p.m. R15 Z Rokk, 9 p.m. Shine Hans Eberbach, Sandra Dolores, Tyler Rich, Kate Livoni, CC Siulapwa, 8 p.m. The Stoney Inn Lucas Hoge, Georgia Rain, 9 p.m. Torch Club X Trio, 5 p.m.; Stephen Roth Band, 9 p.m.

Issue 142 • August 5 – August 19, 2013

1050 20TH ST, MIDTOWN SACRAMENTO

(916)

447-1255

EVERYDAY SPECIALS! $1 MONDAY: $1-OFF ALL SLICES & $1 FOUNTAIN DRINKS $2 TUESDAY: $2 - CHEESE OR PEPPERONI SLICE $3 WEDNESDAY: $3 - ANY SLICE OR TOSSED SALAD $4 THURSDAY: $4 - ANY SANDWICH $5 FRIDAY:$5 - OFF ANY LARGE PIE (PIZZA) HAPPY HOUR 7 DAYS A WEEK: 3pm - 6pm $2 cheese or pepperoni slice & $2 pints

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SACRAMENTO REHERSAL STUDIOS

FRIDAY

Ace of Spades Molotov, Sangre, 7 p.m. Black Box Theatre at West Sac Community Center No Beatings, Ballistic Burnout, Advent Statim, Grave Shadow, 6 p.m. The Blue Lamp Ape Machine, I’m Dirty Too, Ghulheim, Style Like Revelators, 8:30 p.m. Bows and Arrows Some Fear None, OneLegChuck, 8 p.m. The Boxing Donkey Chris 2Me, 9 p.m. Capitol Garage Dub Culture w/ DK Wokstar, DJ Jaytwo, 10 p.m. Club Car Private Criminals, 9 p.m. Club Retro Stereo Ecstacy, A Mile Till Dawn, No Sympathy, 5 p.m. Colonial Theatre Sage The Gemini, 7 p.m. District 30 DJ Jason Davis, Billy Lane, 9 p.m. Fox & Goose One-Eyed Reilly, Hollow Point, Stumblers, High Card Drifters, 9 p.m. Golden Bear DJ Crook, 10 p.m. Harlow’s Filligar, Torches, 6 p.m.; Tha Alkaholiks, Casual, Cali Agents, 9 p.m. Laguna Town Hall The Rhythm Vandals, 6:30 p.m. Level Up Lounge Hot Pants w/ DJ Rock Bottom, 9 p.m. Luigi’s Fungarden Young Aundee, Survival Guide, To Play A Game, DJ Ernie Fresh, 8 p.m. Luna’s Cafe Now Miles, Tha Dirt Feelin, 8 p.m. Marilyn’s Jukebox Johnny, 9 p.m. Midtown BarFly Get Down to the Champion Sound w/ DJ Esef and guests, 10 p.m. Mix DJ Mike Moss, 9 p.m. Old Ironsides William Mylar, 5 p.m.

• Cctv Security System • Free Wi-Fi / Dsl • Huge Gated Parking Lot

HOUSE OF HITS

2751 Academy Way • Sac (916) 923-2525

5749 88 Street • Sac (916) 381-4500 Rehearse.com LIKE us on Facebook th

8.16

Issue 142 • August 5 – August 19, 2013

8.16 Molotov Sangre

Ace of Spades 7 p.m.

The Park Ultra Lounge DJ Eddie Edul, Louie Giovanni, 9 p.m. Pine Cove Karaoke, 9 p.m. PJ’s Roadhouse Element of Soul, 9 p.m. Powerhouse Pub Love Fool, 9 p.m. Press Club DJ Rue, 9 p.m. Red Hawk Casino Apple Z, 10 p.m. Shine Vinnie Guidera, Odame, J Krage, Ben Feusi, 8 p.m. Sophia’s Thai Kitchen The West Nile Ramblers, TV Mike & the Scarecrowes, 9 p.m. Swabbies on the River UrbanFire, 6 p.m. Thunder Valley Casino Resort Chris Isaak, 8 p.m. Torch Club Pailer & Fratis, 5:30 p.m.; Orquestra Dharma, 9 p.m.

8.17 Saturday

Ace of Spades Stepchild, Some Fear None, For All I’ve Done, Fair Struggle, Kryptic Memories, 6:30 p.m. Bar 101 Street Urchinz, 9:30 p.m. The Blue Lamp Jonathan Richman feat. Tommy Larkins, 9 p.m.

8.17

Ivan & Alyosha

The Record Company, Cold Eskimo

Bows and Arrows 8 p.m.

The Boardwalk Priceless Da Roc, Playah K, Reign, 7 p.m. Bows and Arrows Ivan & Alyosha, The Record Company, Cold Eskimo, 8 p.m. The Boxing Donkey BlackEyed Dempseys, 9 p.m. Cache Creek Casino Polo Polo, 8 p.m. Capitol Garage Feel Good Saturday’s w/ DJ Epik, 10 p.m. Clark’s Corner Twilight Stragglers, 9 p.m. Club Car Brazen Hussies & the Bad Boyz, 9 p.m. Club Retro Wales, Katy Taylor, Brown Sky Blue, Dirt, Before Me, A Veil Apart, End of the Earth, 3 p.m. The Colony Euphoric Defilement, Stages of Decomposition, Aborticide, Splattered, Killgasm, Solitary Priaprism, Dismembered Carnage, 7 p.m. District 30 Rock and Rhyme Live, 9 p.m. Fox & Goose Richfield, Spillit Quikkers, Long Hut, 9 p.m. Harlow’s Midnight Players, 10 p.m. Harrah’s Lake Tahoe Dickey Betts, 7:30 p.m. KBAR Z Rokk, 9 p.m. Level Up Lounge Guest DJs, 9 p.m. Luna’s Cafe Narwal, Patric Webb, Julie Meyers, 8 p.m. Marilyn’s Lucky Laskowski & the Liars Choir, 50 Watt Heavy, 9 p.m. Mix DJ Eddie Edul, 8:30 p.m. Old Ironsides Fascination! 80’s New Wave Dance Club, 9:30 p.m. The Park Ultra Lounge DJ Spider, 9 p.m. Pine Cove Karaoke, 9 p.m. PJ’s Roadhouse Adonis DNA, 9 p.m. Powerhouse Pub Lane Baldwin & Deeper Blue, 3 p.m. Press Club DJ Larry Rodriguez, 9 p.m.

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Unless otherwise limited, prices are good through Tuesday following publication date. $1 INSTALLATION IS PER COMPONENT, for CD players and alarms priced over $9999, purchased from Audio Express installed in factory-ready locations. PPP indicates product installed at half off our posted rates. Custom work at added cost. Kits, antennas and cables additional. Added charges for shop supplies and environmental disposal where mandated. Illustrations similar. Video pictures may be simulated. Not responsible for typographic errors. M.S.R.P. refers to published suggested retail price. Price match applies to new, non-promotional items from authorized sellers; excludes “shopping cart” or other hidden specials. © 2013, Audio Express.

Issue 142 • August 5 – August 19, 2013

Audio Express — Sacramento Submerge — 8/5/2013

Red Hawk Casino The Spazmatics, 10 p.m. Shine Spangler, The Iron Hearts, Joe Kye, 8 p.m. Sophia’s Thai Kitchen Mother Falcon, Alicia Murphy, 9 p.m. Swabbies on the River Rouge, The Hormones, 3:30 p.m. Thunder Valley Casino Resort Frankie Valli & the Four Seasons, 8 p.m. Torch Club Hans Eberbach, 5:30 p.m.; The Coalition, 9 p.m.

8.18 Sunday

Assembly Maria Muldaur & The Campbell Brothers, HowellDevine, 3 p.m. Capitol Garage Karaoke w/ Jeff Jenkins, 9 p.m. Distillery Karaoke, 8 p.m. Mix DJ Gabe Xavier, 8:30 p.m. Powerhouse Pub Nick Gravenites, 3 p.m. Press Club Sunday Night Soul Party w/ DJ Larry & DJ Hailey, 9 p.m. Swabbies on the River Road 88, Terry Sheets, 2:30 p.m. Torch Club Blues Jam, 4 p.m.; The Golden Cadillacs, 8 p.m.

8.19 Monday

The Boxing Donkey Open Mic Variety Night, 8 p.m. The Colony Rad, Rat Damage, xTom Hanx, Night Purse, Plague Widow, 7 p.m. Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m. Fox & Goose Open Mic Night, 7:30 p.m. Harlow’s Keiko Matsui, 5:30 p.m. Luna’s Cafe Nebraska Mondays hosted by Ross Hammond, 7:30 p.m. Marilyn’s Showcase Monday’s, 8 p.m. Old Ironsides Heath Williamson & Friends, 5 p.m. Powerhouse Pub Karaoke, 9 p.m. Sol Collective Microphone Mondays, 8 p.m. Comedy Assembly B Street: Live! Sketch and Improv Comedy, Thursday’s, Friday’s and Saturday’s, 7 p.m. Bows and Arrows Comedy Night hosted by Ray Molina, Aug. 14, 8 p.m. Crest Theatre The Latin

8.19 Keiko Matsui Harlow's 5:30 p.m.

Comedy Jam feat. Johnny Sanchez, Jerry Garcia, Luke Torres, Shayla Rivera, Aug. 9, 7 p.m. Community Center Theater Lewis Black: The Rant is Due, Aug. 17, 8 p.m. Laughs Unlimited Open Mic Showcase hosted by Shane Murphy, Aug. 6, 8 p.m. Tyler Boeh, Brett Riley, Aug. 9 11, Fri. & Sat., 8 p.m. & 10:30 p.m.; Sunday, 7 p.m. D’Sean Ross featuring Ace Guillen, Aug. 16 - 18, Fri. & Sat., 8 p.m. & 10:30 p.m.; Sunday, 7 p.m. Luna’s Cafe Keith Lowell Jensen’s Comedy Night, Wednesday’s, 8 p.m. Pine Cove Carlos Rodriguez, Matt Raymond, Stephen Furey, Jaime Fernandez, Johnny Taylor, Ray Molina, Stephen Ferris, Jt Kelley, Darby Herms, Michael Cella, Aug. 18, 8 p.m. Po’Boyz Bar & Grill (Folsom) Comedy Open Mic, every Monday, 9 p.m. Punchline Comedy Club New Faces Showcase, Aug. 7, 8 p.m. Keenan Ivory Wayans, Aug. 8 - 11, Thurs., 8 p.m.; Fri. & Sat., 8 p.m. & 10:30 p.m.; Sun., 7 p.m. India’s Independence Day Comedy Night feat. Tapan Trivedi, Hark Dulai, DJ Sandhu, Priya Prasad, hosted by Raj Dutta, Aug. 14, 8 p.m. Tracy Morgan, Trenton Davis, Aug. 15 - 18, Thurs., 8 p.m.; Fri. & Sat., 8 p.m. & 10:30 p.m.; Sun., 7 p.m. Sacramento Comedy Spot Open Mic Scramble, Sunday’s and Monday’s, 7:30 p.m. Harold Night, Tuesday’s and Wednesday’s, 9 p.m. Improv Lab, Wednesday’s, 7 p.m. Top 10 List Podcast Live!, Saturday’s, 7 p.m. Anti-Cooperation League, Saturday’s, 9 p.m.

Support Submerge advertisers We work our asses off here at Submerge to put out a FREE paper every other week. The truth is this simply would not be possible without the support of our wonderful advertisers. Please visit them and tell ‘em Submerge sent you.

8.17

Lewis Black Community Center Theater 8 p.m.

Bro Time & Test Kitchen, Saturday’s, 10:30 p.m. The Junior & Leo Show Live, Aug. 9, 8 p.m. Comics With Attitude feat. Matt Raymond, Emma Haney, DJ Sandu, John Ross, Stephen Furey, Aug. 16, 9 p.m. Shenanigans Blinded By Laughter, Aug. 7, 8 p.m. Shine Comedy Night hosted by John Ross, Aug. 7, 8 p.m. The Stoney Inn Nutty Monday’s Comedy Showcase and Open Mic, Monday’s, 9 p.m. Tommy T’s Michael Mancini, Aug. 8 - 11, Thurs., 7:30 p.m.; Fri. & Sat., 7:30 p.m. & 9:30 p.m.; Sun., 7 p.m. Tony Roberts, Aug. 15 - 18, Thurs., 7:30 p.m.; Fri. & Sat., 7:30 p.m. & 9:30 p.m.; Sun., 7 p.m. Thunder Valley Casino Resort Bill Engvall, Aug. 10, 8 p.m. Misc. 2020 J Street Midtown Farmers Market, every Saturday, 8 a.m.

Assembly Sizzling Sirens Burlesque Experience: Sirens In Space!, Aug. 17, 8 p.m. Blue Cue Trivia Night, every Wednesday, 6:30 p.m. Bows & Arrows Opening Reception for The Air Show & Elemental Possibilities: Installation and Photos by Melanie Brown, Aug. 8, 6 p.m. River City Record Diggers Society Presents: River City Vinyl Swap, Aug. 10, 5 p.m. The Boxing Donkey Trivia Night, every Tuesday, 8 p.m. Brickhouse Gallery Open Mic Poetry Night, 8 p.m. Cafe Connection Closet Keepsakes’ Trendy Thrift Designer Challenge, Aug. 9, 8 p.m. Crest Theatre Trash Film Orgy Presents: Escape From New York, Aug. 10, 11 p.m.; 100th TFO Show feat. Blood Feast and Two Thousand Maniacs, Aug. 17, 11 p.m. Fox & Goose Pub Quiz, Tuesday’s, 7 p.m. Guild Theatre Escapade Summer Event: Poets, Singers, Musicians, Comedians, Aug.

17, 7 p.m. Little Relics Boutique & Galleria Hot August Nights feat. Paintings by Pete Wedel, Sculpture by Michael Ryan, through Aug. 24, 2nd Sat Reception, Aug. 10, 6 p.m. Luigi’s A Slice of Trivia w/ the Bruce Twins, Monday’s, 8 p.m. Luna’s Cafe Poetry Unplugged, Thursday’s, 8 p.m. Midtown BarFly Salsa Lessons, every Wednesday, 8 p.m. Pine Cove Trivia Night, Wednesday’s, 9 p.m. Press Club Flex Your Head Trivia, Tuesday’s, 8 p.m. The Rink Sac City Rollers’ Double Header, Aug. 10, 6:45 p.m. Shine Poetry with Legs hosted by Bill Gainer, Aug. 14, 7:30 p.m. Phil Weidman’s Book Release and Reading for In The Rear View Mirror, Aug. 17, 3 p.m. Sleep Train Arena WWE Monday Night Raw, Aug. 12, 4:30 p.m. William Land Park 4th Annual Banana Festival, Aug. 10 - 11, 10 a.m.

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Issue 142 • August 5 – August 19, 2013

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

Ace of spAdes concerts p r e s e n t s At

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Issue 142 • August 5 – August 19, 2013

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

The grindhouse

Bang, Bang...Boom, Boom...Yadda Yadda 2 Guns

Rated r

Words James Barone As far as big-ticket actors go, it’s hard to go wrong with Mark Wahlberg and Denzel Washington. Both bring a lot to the table. Wahlberg is just about the coolest guy ever. From his Funky Bunch beginnings, he’s morphed into something of a media mogul. He’s been producer for brotastic shows such as Entourage and is even a serviceable actor. More so, he’s pretty much tailor made for his audience: Awesome dudes want to be him and cool chicks want to be with him. I’d imagine the parties at Wahlberg’s house are legendary. And Denzel, well, he’s Denzel Fucking Washington. He’s ageless, probably the best actor of his generation and brings such a powerful onscreen presence that he makes even shitty movies watchable. His latest flick, 2 Guns, is proof of that. This is a typical buddy picture. Two awesome bros who have no business teaming up with one another are thrust together due to dire circumstances. Though they butt heads on just about everything, they have no choice but to join forces to combat a whole slew of evil bad dudes. Along the way, they’re able to begrudgingly set aside their differences and lay down righteous whoop-ass on their adversaries and a true bromance blossoms. That’s basically all you need to know as far as 2 Guns is concerned. It’s based on a graphic novel so there’s a lot of cartoon-y violence. There are epic gun fights, a stampede of pissedoff bulls and plenty of fisticuffs. Every explosion is of the slow-mo variety. At one point Denzel even pulls the classic slow-motion-explosionwith-my-back-turned-to-it-while-wearing-shades maneuver. It’s pretty sweet. This movie is so macho it practically has a pair of sweaty balls swinging from it. While they’re still at odds, Denzel and Wahlberg engage in a game of chicken in the middle of the desert, both driving beat-up, American-made trucks. Edward James Olmos plays a ruthless SubmergeMag.com

leader of a Mexican drug cartel, and he’s about as manly as it gets (I met him once at a comic book convention...he’s practically made of gravitas and his hands are the size of my head). There’s only one female character of note—Paula Patton as Deb—but, though she’s a decent actress, it seems she’s only there because she has great cleavage and looks amazing in her underwear. There’s plenty of intrigue. Denzel stars as Bobby Trench, a DEA agent under deep cover, and Wahlberg is Michael “Stig” Stigman, a naval intelligence officer also on a covert mission. Both our heroes think the other is a criminal when the film starts, but when they get wrapped up in a bank heist gone horribly wrong, they must fight for their lives against a bevy of corrupt government agents. It would seem that there is plenty to like here—and there is—but where does it go wrong? That’s something that’s difficult to pinpoint. Denzel and Wahlberg are a fun onscreen duo, but with all the action-packed sequences, they hardly have time to play off of one another. 2 Guns is bookended with two great scenes of banter between our two protagonists, but they seem too few and too far between. When the script allows them to bounce witty jibes back and forth off one another, 2 Guns is a lot of fun. When it doesn’t, the movie devolves into standard action movie fare: a by-the-numbers plot that exists only to string one big shoot-’emup scene to the next and result in a more or less cohesive end-product. As a result, 2 Guns is a bit of a disappointment. You could certainly do worse, but with such a good cast (Bill Paxton also does a nice job in his role as the film’s main heel), you’d expect a lot more oomph. At least I did. Maybe I’m asking for too much? I mean, this isn’t supposed to be Malcolm X or Boogie Nights. But there are so many other movies that are practically identical to 2 Guns, and it doesn’t really do much to set itself apart. You’re probably better off just watching Lethal Weapon to get your action movie/buddy picture fix and save yourself on the price of a movie ticket— even though Mel Gibson is a total douchebag.

Issue 142 • August 5 – August 19, 2013

youTH lagoon

THe Tiaras

(ex-ganglians)

Harlow’s • 2708 J st.

• Roxanne

• saCto •

friday

(of THe sandwiTcHes)

21 & over • 9:00pm

filligar Harlow’s • 2708 J st.

TorcHes

• saCto •

friday

18 & over • 7:00pm

JonaTHan ricHman alHambra

blvD. • saCto • 21 & over • 9:00pm

THe broTHers comaTose

Harlow’s • 2708 J st.

merrygold • saCto •

21 & over • 9:00pm

selaH sue

Harlow’s • 2708 J st.

busHwalla • saCto •

21 & over • 9:00pm

avey TaRe’s slasheR Flicks • lonnie holley • saCto •

21 & over • 8:00pm

THe dodos

Harlow’s • 2708 J st.

Two sHeds • saCto •

21 & over • 8:00pm

st. • saCto • all ages • 7:30pm

JoHn HiaTT & THe combo

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drew Holcomb k

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orgone / monopHonics Harlow’s • 2708 J st. • saCto • 21 & over • 8:00pm members of kai kln / viCtims family / bluCHunks)] brubaker [(feat.

aug 24 tuesday

aug 27 sept 5 sept 11 thursday

sept 12 thursday

sept 12

friday Quick and easy boys pHil & THe blanx [buD from sublime witH members of seXrat/synCHro] sept 13

Harlow’s • 2708 J st. Harlow’s

• saCto •

21 & over • 8:00pm

THe lemonHeads • 2708 J st. • saCto • 21 & over frigHTened rabbiT

thursday

• 8:00pm

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st. • saCto • all ages • 8:00pm

nicki bluHm & THe gramblers

Harlow’s • 2708 J st.

easy leaves • saCto •

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21 & over • 8:00pm

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aleJandro escovedo Harlow’s • 2708 J st. • saCto • 21 & over • meaT puppeTs Harlow’s •

• saCto •

7:30pm

21 & over • 8:00pm

mason Jennings 2708 J st. • saCto • 21 & over

oct 4 oct 9

nov 11 tuesday

THe world Takes [feat. DJ bonebrake from X / tHe knitters] Harlow’s • 2708 J st.

friday

monday

The swoRD • ameRican shaRks

aCe of spaDes • 1417

sept 28

wednesday

helms alee • Dog shReDDeR

Harlow’s • 2708 J st.

sept 26 saturday

augusTines

nov 12 wednesday

nov 13 sunday

• 8:00pm

the shallow end Live Every Week Like It’s Shark Week

aug 23

wednesday

primma donna r

friday

thursday

adam anT

aCe of spaDes • 1417

aug 17

saturday

deerHunTer

Harlow’s • 2708 J st.

aug 16 saturday

[feat. tommy larkins on tHe Drums]

blue lamp • 1400

aug 9

nov 17

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James Barone jb@submergemag.com Sharks are so hot right now. Though the phrase “jump the shark” has been thrown around in common parlance to signify when something awesome had become totally lame, it’s clear that sharks haven’t jumped themselves. In mid-July, Syfy’s made-for-television movie Sharknado took over Twitter, with even celebs like LOST creator Damon Lindelof chiming in on its cheese-tastic amazingness, and raked in more than 3 million viewers over two separate showings. But sharks aren’t just a flash in the pan. Remember when everyone was into sloths? I mean, they’re still cool, I guess, but they’ve got nothing on sharks. Sharks have been around since before dinosaur times (which was way back before cell phones) and, evolutionarily speaking, haven’t changed all that much in all that time. The reason for that is because nature made them so badass right off the bat that if they got any more badass, they’d probably wipe out the rest of the planet. Could you imagine if sharks evolved so that they could live on land and in the oceans? Mammals never would have stood a chance. Giving any more evolutionary advantages to sharks would have been like giving T. Rex real arms, instead of those wimpy little two-clawed appendages. It would be like saying, “Game over, planet. Better luck next time.” Sharks have a lot of staying power, clearly. On Sunday, Aug. 4, The Discovery Channel rolled out its 26th annual Shark Week, which has blossomed from something only nerds like me watched into a full-blown multimedia memefest. Shark Week will not only dominate your Facebook and Twitter feeds over the next few days, but, if you actually watch it and not just act like you do to fit in, you’ll also get a good dose of learning. For instance, did you know that the fastest shark in the ocean is the shortfin mako? The short-fin mako can reach speeds of up to 60 miles per hour and can grow up to 12 feet long. The short-fin mako is able to go so fast because its skin is covered with these toothy scales that make it more “aero-dynamic” in water. In fact, its skin has inspired the superfast swimsuits used in competitive swimming. What’s more, the short-fin mako’s tail has evolved to resemble that of the tuna fish, the shark’s prey, because these tail fins allow the shark to swoosh more water and thereby zip through the ocean like the supremely wicked

beast that it is. Cool, huh? Honestly, I have no idea if any of this stuff is true. I just heard it on Shark Week. They could tell me that sharks shoot lasers out of their eyes and have acidic blood like the creatures in the Alien movies and I’d probably believe them. It’s not like I know shit about sharks. I’m not a sharkeologist or whatever. I just watch a lot of television. This year, Shark Week even features one of those “talking heads”-style after-shows called Shark After Dark, which is hosted by Josh Wolf (who you may have seen on Chelsea Lately), because sometimes shark documentaries just aren’t enough. You have to sit in a circle with snarky people and make comments about them. Another new wrinkle in this year’s Shark Week is that the NatGeo channel is rolling out its own week-long shark fest called, well, Sharkfest. This all adds up to a staggering amount of shark-themed info-tainment. It makes me think what sharks would think—if they do think, that is—of all this attention. Would they think it’s odd that another species is fawning over them? I mean, I don’t think it would make them blush or anything. They’d probably still want to gnaw our faces and go about their shark-y business, but I doubt fish or seals would be too stoked about Shark Week. We’re just so fascinated with these perfect predators. Is it because we’re predators ourselves? We’ll eat just about anything that a shark would. I know there are a lot of vegans and vegetarians out there, and that’s fine, but most of humankind’s existence has been a study in how to better catch and eat something that doesn’t want to be caught or eaten. Sharks are able to do that effortlessly. They didn’t have to develop cattle farming or an industrialized slaughterhouse complex. They just swim up to something and take a big chunk out of it. If we tried that a cow would probably kick the shit out of us. That’s why I think long after we poison ourselves to extinction with all the pollution and processed foodstuffs we ingest, sharks will probably still be around in what’s left of the oceans, swimming about and chomping the fuck out of whatever’s still alive. And I seriously doubt they’ll bother having Human Week.

TickeTs for Harlow’s sHows also available aT Harlows.com TickeTs for cresT sHow also available aT cresT THeaTre box office TickeTs for ace of spades also available aT aceofspades.com and 916.443.9202

Issue 142 • August 5 – August 19, 2013

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

SubmergeMag.com

Issue 142 • August 5 – August 19, 2013

Dive into Sacramento & its Surrounding Areas

august 5 – 19, 2013

#142 e exclusiv

Midtown Cocktail Weeakge

comedy comes to pine cove

Cover

Mezcal 101

Michelle Weinstein

Unlock the Mystery of this Mystical Spirit

Four Dimensional Geometry

the red rabbit kitchen & BAr

2 Guns

Enough Bang for Your Buck?

hare of the dog

Johana Hernandez’s GLAUDI Comes to Launch Fashion

free

The Knockoffs Elders of Punk