Submerge Issue 184 (March 30 - April 13, 2015)

Dive into Sacramento & its Surrounding Areas March 30 – april 13, 2015

#184

Lights Rediscovering Inspiration Do 4/20 Right at

Fyah on the Water

Christian Kiefer A Busy Mind Wicked 'Wich

Gets an Immobile Home

Pre-Flite Lounge Jason yee

Relaunches a Legend

Laurelin Gilmore What Dreams May Come

Concerts in the Park Lineup Revealed!

free

Ross Hammond Go With the Flow

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* Savings off MSRP or our original sales price, may include install savings. Intermediate markdowns may have been taken. † Promotional install offers are per component, in factory-ready locations. Custom install additional. Kits, plugs, supplies additional. Details at store. [1] SiriusXM incentive details at www.siriusxmrewards.com.

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Unless otherwise limited, prices are good through Tuesday following publication date. $1 INSTALLATION IS PER COMPONENT, for CD players and alarms priced over $9999, purchased from Audio Express installed in factory-ready locations. PPP indicates product installed at half off our posted rates. Custom work at added cost. Kits, antennas and cables additional. Added charges for shop supplies and environmental disposal where mandated. Illustrations similar. Video pictures may be simulated. Not responsible for typographic errors. M.S.R.P. refers to published suggested retail price. Price match applies to new, non-promotional items from authorized sellers; excludes “shopping cart” or other hidden specials. © 2015, Audio Express.

Issue 184 • March 30 – April 13, 2015

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

Sacramento’S neweSt country Bar, reStaurant, and live muSic venue Mondays

Open Mic night

hosted by James Cavern

Tijuana Tuesdays

fri apr 3

21+ / 9Pm / free

saT apr 4

21+ / 9Pm / free

fri apr 10

21+ / 9Pm / free

$2 Off tequila tequila cOcktail Menu

toree mcGee

MOdelO specials

terry SheetS Band

with rodeo houSe

saT apr 11

$2 tacOs

21+ / 9Pm / free

wed apr 15

21+ / 8Pm / free

fri apr 17

21+ / 9Pm / free

Buckets Of cOrOna’s wednesdays

Bar gaMes Beer pOng cOrnhOle

Big Buck hunter weStBound

chad BuShnell saT apr 18

21+ / 9Pm / free

Tues apr 21

21+ / 8Pm / $18

50

coMing soon: apr 24 apr 26 May 1 May 2 May 8 May 9 May 15 May 16 May 22

coleen Heauser sunday sHowdown cockTail coMpeTiTion feaT. jared &

THe Mill jackson MicHelson cripple creek Band Buck ford josH Budro Band Madison Hudson HigH noon sTepHan Hogan

1630 j sTreeT (Corner of J & 17) SaCramento goldfieldTradingposT.coM

SubmergeMag.com

THursdays

free line

dancing lessOns

10pm- Close

reverse

happy

hOur

Issue 184 • March 30 – April 13, 2015

3

Please support the 184 advertisers that support Submerge! 12

Submerge: an independently owned entertainment/lifestyle publication available for free biweekly throughout the greater Sacramento area.

This publication would not be possible without our wonderful advertisers.

Visit them and tell ‘em Submerge is the reason.

Melissa Welliver melissa@submergemag.com cofounder/ Advertising Director

Jonathan Carabba jonathan@submergemag.com senior editor

James Barone Assistant Editor

Mandy Pearson

20

Submerge your senses

14 ross hammond 18 pre-flite lounge

08

The Stream

20

Dive in

4

10

Laurelin gilmore

22 29

12

lights

30

Submerge

1009 22 Street, Suite 3 Sacramento, Calif. 95816 nd

916.441.3803 info@submergemag.com printed on recycled paper

Contributing photographers

David Adams, Wesley Davis, Evan E. Duran, Adam Dillion, Phill Mamula, Jenny Price, Liz Simpson, Nicholas Wray

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04 07

Contributing Writers

Zach Ahern, Amber Amey, Joe Atkins, Robin Bacior, Andrew Bell, Corey Bloom, Bocephus Chigger, Justin Cox, Alia Cruz, Josh Fernandez, Catherine Foss, Blake Gillespie, Fabian Garcia, Lovelle Harris, Eddie Jorgensen, Niki Kangas, Nur Kausar, Ryan Prado, Steph Rodriguez, Andrew C. Russell, Amy Serna, Jacob Sprecher, Jenn Walker

Follow us on Twitter & Instagram! @SubmergeMag

march 30 – april 13

14

Optimistic 09 The Pessimist

cofounder/ Editor in Chief/Art Director

2015

front Cover Photo of lights by Matt Barnes

Issue 184 • March 30 – April 13, 2015

christian kiefer calendar the grindhouse

get hard

the shallow end

All content is property of Submerge and may not be reproduced without permission. Submerge is both owned and published by Submerge Media.

All opinions expressed throughout Submerge are those of the author and do not necessarily mean we all share those opinions. Feel free to take a copy or two for free, but please don’t remove our papers or throw them away.

Submerge welcomes letters of all kinds, whether they are full of love or hate. We want to know what is on your mind, so feel free to contact us via snail mail at 1009 22nd Street, Suite 3 Sacramento, Calif. 95816. Or you can e-mail us at info@submergemag.com. back Cover Photo of jason Yee at Pre-flite by evan e. duran

dive in “Creativity takes courage. ”

— Henri Matisse

Melissa welliver melissa@submergemag.com Creativity. Well it certainly is a blessing and a curse. When the world of “the arts” is your full-time job and you make a living off of it, to the regular Joe who perhaps works a 9-to-5, it can almost seem like a mind-blowing paradox.

I definitely have moments where I just feel so run thin that I can’t seem to find one ounce of creativity left. Sometimes I get so down I ask myself, “Do I even like design anymore?” But nothing is more reassuring than when you get that burst of creative energy, usually from God knows what (the outdoors and traveling have been doing wonders for me as of late), and snap— you’re right back at it, feeling creative, doing what you love and what you know you were born to do.

Such is the case when I read many features before they print in Submerge. I grasp that the struggle is there, not just for me, but for a great majority of musicians, artists, writers, etc.

Reading about other people and how they deal with creativity or how they deal with being in a rut is really eye-opening.

When reading our feature on Lights (page 12), you’ll learn how even though she was introduced to the music industry at an early age, and she had some downfalls, and even struggled with writing her latest album, she carried on. Lights figured out things that worked for her, got re-inspired, wrote 40-plus songs and is now on the road doing sold-out shows across the nation, playing Coachella and even hitting Sacramento at Ace of Spades on April 16.

Then you have someone like guitarist Ross Hammond who is carving his own path in our local scene. On page 14 you can learn a bit about his departure from In the Flow Fest to his new passion, Gold Lion Arts Studio. One thing that has always been clear about Hammond, that I admire, is that he’s still going strong and progressively making new albums, not only because of his passion for music, but because his family continues to be a constant source of inspiration.

A lot of our features’ subjects in the past have mentioned supportive families. I know I wouldn’t be making Submerge if it wasn’t for constant support from family and friends. Living in Sacramento you quickly learn that major support really comes with the community we live in.

Local artist Laurelin Gilmore has always had the support of her family, but when you read our feature on her on page 10 you can really get the significance of how our local art community is very important for her as well. And as she states in the interview, “I think my greatest triumphs have come from interacting with art lovers [at the Sacramento Art Complex].”

Community and friendship can to go hand in hand, and sometimes an out-of-the-box “creative idea” can be born! For Jason Yee, owner of Yummy Yogurt in the now-demolished downtown mall, an opportunity arose in 2010. After frequenting Pre-Flite Lounge, the dive bar in the same mall, and chopping it up with regulars and bartenders alike, he found himself engaged in conversations about purchasing the low-key gem.

Eventually Yee (over many others) was the chosen one to take over the fine establishment. When a portion of the downtown mall was torn down to make way for the Kings’ new arena, so was the bar that quietly stood there for many decades. Finally Yee re-opened the bar this past February in a new, great-fitting home in an unmarked alley between 10th and 11th streets. And as you can read in our feature on page 18, you can never fully recreate the old atmosphere, but that’s not a bad thing, because it’s Pre-Flite 2.0 and the future clientele has an opportunity to make it their own. Just check it out, make new friends, drink some booze—because God knows that’s when some of the most creative ideas are born.

Looks like I’m out of space once again, but please check out our other feature on mad creative genius/local author Christian Kiefer, who’s just released his second book, The Animals, on March 23. See page 20 for this incredible Q&A. Enjoy issue #184! Long live Submerge. Long live print.

Cheers, Melissa

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

LIVE MUSIC. DRINKS. ART SPRUNG | APRIL 9, 2015

#crockerartmix

crockerartmuseum.org SubmergeMag.com

Issue 184 • March 30 – April 13, 2015

5

9426 Greenback ln, Orangevale

tickets available at dimple Records, armadillo records , or online at

theboardwalkpresents.com all shows all ages

coming soon APR 25 AleSAnA

SATURDAy

FRiDAy mAy 1 ConDUCTing FRom The gRAve SATURDAy mAy 2 one eyeD Doll

Favorite weaPon

tuesday

Sierra SkYline

m ar 31

think again, the Fourth horseman, mercedes avenue

motorize

wednesday

fRiday

lonely avenue, madison ave, Sages

satuRday

apr 1 apr 3 & apr 4

Solanum • Yankee Brutal ConCeived in ChaoS • PettY eduCation

SUnDAy mAy 3 RiTTz / CRookeD i

mAy 7 he iS legenD

ThURSDAy

sunday

apr 5

mAy 8 Dev

FRiDAy

SATURDAy mAy 9 Dog FAShion DiSCo

mAy 10 The gReen

SUnDAy

weDneSDAy mAy 13 loCAl h / BATTleme ThURSDAy mAy 14 BlooD on The DAnCe FlooR SUnDAy mAy 17 nekRomAnTix

damage over time • highwaY Xii our endleSS oBSeSSion the Stalking diStanCe

tuesday

apr 7

mAy 21 one

ThURSDAy

A TRiBUTe To meTAlliCA

leSS than zero

fRiday

apr 10

sunday

apr 12

tuesday

apr 14

mAy 30 ChUnk! no, CAPTAin ChUnk! SATURDAy

SUnDAy mAy 31 Dizzy wRighT TUeSDAy jUne 2 DUSTin kenSRUe

jUne 4 TeenAge BoTTleRoCkeT ThURSDAy

megoSh, heartS like lionS, alaS termina, and FlagShiP armada om3n, ninjaloC, anYBodYkilla, aXe murder BoYz, and Big hoodoo

taking FoX hollow loSt in lightS

tuesday

6

apr 17

wednesday

apr 18

Issue 184 • March 30 – April 13, 2015

FRiDAy jUne 5 meg myeRS SUnDAy jUne 7 koTTonmoUTh kingS / heDPe SUnDAy jUly 12 The ADoleSCenTS / The weiRDoS

tuesday

apr 21

thuRsday

apr 23

ThURSDAy SePT 17 Bowling FoR SoUP

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

Your Senses Words Amber Amey

Deladier Almeida

Thomas Post

Philippe Gandiol

Touch

Get Hands-On at the Preserving the Spring Harvest Class at Soil Born Farms

Rob Stone

Joanna Kidd

Nancy LaBerge Muren

Phil Gross

Betty Nelsen

Marlene Lee

See

Go Inside 30+ Artists’ Studios at the Davis Art Studio Tour • April 11–12 Dive into some culture and head to Davis for the Davis Studio Art Tour. Lose yourself in the work of over 30 local artists, ranging from photographers to jewelry makers, and in the process, explore the great little town of Davis, enjoy the beauty of spring and maybe even pick up a piece or two to take home. The tour lasts two days (April 11 to 12) from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Tickets are good for both days and on sale now for $10 at The Artery Gallery at 207 G Street in Davis (children under 12 are free). The Artery is also offering a preview exhibit of a different sponsored artist each night from April 1 to 13 and will have a Gala opening on the night of April 10. For more information, visit Davisartstudiotour.com.

April 8

Earn your green thumb by participating in the “Preserving the Spring Harvest” class taught at the Soil Born Farms American River Ranch in Rancho Cordova. Per Soilborn.org, “There are so many delicious and healthy ways to preserve your garden’s bounty in the spring. From pickles to kraut, kimchi to chutney, this hands-on class will teach you what you need to know to turn your winter and spring veggies into homemade products that add variety to your pantry and make delicious gifts, too!” Janet McDonald of The Good Stuff fresh and organic grocery store will instruct this Sacramento Natural Foods Co-op- and Soil Born Farms-hosted event. You can purchase tickets and register for the event at Sacfoodcoop.com or by calling (916) 868-6399. You can also obtain more information by visiting the Soil Born Farms website at Soilborn.org. Tickets are $35 or $30 for co-op owners and the class lasts for three hours from 5:30 p.m. to 8:30 p.m.

Hear

Spend 4/20 Weekend at Fyah on the Water April 18–19

Tribal Seeds

Taste

Marlon Asher

Are you a fan of amazing food and local eateries? If yes, then you need to make your way down to Wicked ‘Wich’s new brick and mortar location in West Sacramento. Started as a local food truck, Wicked ‘Which rose to fame and respect among the Sacramento food truck community; and on March 4, restaurateurs Chris Jarosz and Matt Chong made the decision that Wicked ‘Wich would join its restaurant brothers. Chris and Matt also operate Broderick Roadhouse in West Sacramento, as well as Trick Pony Pizza and Capital Dime, both located in Midtown. Wicked ‘Wich, located at 1075 West Capitol Avenue (on the first floor of the West Sacramento Community Center), is open from 7 a.m. to 5 p.m., Monday through Friday. Serving sweet and savory paninis, coffee, espresso, pastries and more, this restaurant is one that you definitely don’t want to miss.

Massive Delicious

Wicked ‘Wich, One of Sac’s First Food Trucks, Opens New Brick & Mortar Location in West Sac

SubmergeMag.com

For those who celebrate 4/20 like it’s a national holiday, or those who simply love reggae, Fyah on the Water is the place to be. Local rock-reggae fusion band Arden Park Roots will be there, along with Massive Delicious and Element of Soul. These local talents will also be accompanied by Trinidadian reggae singer Marlon Asher, San Diego-based reggae band Tribal Seeds and Oregon-based reggae duo Indubious—plus many more! Sit along the beautiful American River, enjoy the amazing spring breezes and indulge in awesome food, music and culture. There will be live performance art, an eclectic display of foods and street vendors, and so much more. You can purchase single-day passes ($22.50 for April 18; $32.50 for April 19), a two-day pass for $55 or a two-day pass with camping (and parking) for $85. So dust off your hula-hoops, unpack your Hacky Sacks and head to the ultimate reggae fun festival for your 4/20 weekend. The festival is happening at Camp Pollock, located at 1501 Northgate Boulevard, and you can buy your tickets now on Ticketfly.com. For more information, visit Reggaeinthehills.com and visit Fyah on the Water’s Facebook page.

Issue 184 • March 30 – April 13, 2015

7

The stream e v e r y t u e s d ay • 9 p m oPen Mic e v e r y W e d n e s d ay • 7 p m ross haMMonD on guitar

new spring singer/ DaviD atencio Juliet gobert Jackson griffith JD valerio

thurs april 23 • 8:30pm

sea legs

Jenna leMaster brittany vanessa geovanie brooks MonDo Mariscal

s at a p r i l 1 1 • 9 p m

t h u r s m ay 7 • 8 : 3 0 p m

ice age Quartet

fri april 10 • 9pm

sacraMento Playboys

Warren bishoP toMMy castillo Danny sMithson Walt hoyt

fri april 17 • 9pm

Dylan cal trio

s at a p r i l 1 8 • 9 p m

left Jab

Send regional news tips to info@submergemag.com

thurs april 9 • 8:30pm

fri april 3 • 9pm

Musical charis

Jonathan Carabba

songwriter series

free music series

s at a p r i l 4 • 9 p m

Concerts in the Park's 2015 Lineup Is Here!

DJ Epik

Joy & Madness

Jonah Matranga

Mr. T Experience

Blackalicious

From Indian Lakes

The Soft White Sixties

trio las cruces

s at a p r i l 2 5 • 9 p m

harley White trio

carrie Martin Xochitl rebecca Peters eric schley

1217 21 street MiDtoWn sacraMento 916.440.0401 kuproscrafthouse.com @kuprossacto st

Y N I L P st d’s Mo n tap l r o W o of thestIng beers Intere & Live Tuesday saTurday Music NighTs!

The region’s best

Fish & Chips

sIxdifferent ways!

1010 White Rock Road el dorado hIlls (916) 941-3606 • 36handles.com

Issue 184 • March 30 – April 13, 2015

Task1ne

Once again winter has passed (if you can call that a winter), which means that spring is here and with it, the 2015 Concerts in the Park series, which officially kicks off on Friday, May 1! Here is a glance at the eclectic lineup, there's a little something for everyone. Dig country music? Don’t miss May 15 with Cripple Creek Band and Golden Cadillacs. Want to throw your hands up at a hip-hop show? Mark your calendars for Blackalicious and DLRN + Stevie Nader on May 29 and a sure-to-be-insane collaboration set featuring Task1ne, Century Got Bars, J-Ras and Charleee on July 24. Wanna rock out with some post-hardcore? Check out Jonny Craig’s new band Slaves alongside A Lot Like Birds on June 26. Want to dance your face off? Hit up Joy and Madness on May 8. What about punk rock, you ask? Yeah, they’ve got that too. Check out Mr. T Experience, The Four Eyes and others on June 19. The indie-rock loving crowd will enjoy July 17 featuring From Indian Lakes and Sunmonks, and reggae enthusiasts can get their fix with Element of Soul on June 5 and Arden Park Roots on July 24. Peep the entire lineup below! We’ll see you out at Cesar Chavez Plaza in Downtown Sacramento on Friday nights starting on May 1!

May 1: CIP Kick-off!

Island of Black & White Drop Dead Red Riotmaker DJ Epik

May 8

8

Andy Allo

t h u r s m ay 2 1 • 8 : 3 0 p m

fri april 24 • 9pm

36

Tell the Wolves

Joy & Madness Sol Peligro Zyah Belle & The Funkshun Paul Gordon & the Ambient Experience

May 15 Cripple Creek Band Golden Cadillacs Be Brave Bold Robot Ashley Barron DJ Rawhide

May 22

June 12

July 10

Frank Hannon Band Alex Vincent Band Pressure Lounge DJ Peeti-V

Jonah Matranga The Storytellers Kevin Seconds One-Leg Chuck DJ Elements

The Soft White Sixties The Nickel Slots Justin Farren Vintage Vandals El Conductor

June 19

July 17

Mr. T Experience The Four Eyes The Enlows Rebel Punk DJ Whores

From Indian Lakes Sunmonks Xochitl Dusty Brown

May 29 Blackalicious DLRN + Stevie Nader Element Brass Band Druskee

June 5 Element of Soul Burro Once An Empire 50-Watt Heavy TL Miller / imf.DRED

All shows are free, all ages and get underway at 5 p.m.

For more information, visit GoDowntownsac.com.

June 26 Slaves A Lot Like Birds Tell the Wolves We Went to the Moon Z Rokk

July 3 No show!

Happy 4th of July!

July 24: Season Finale!

Arden Park Roots Task1ne + Century Got Bars + J-Ras + Charleee Ideateam Braden Scott Band Shaun Slaughter

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

The Optimistic Pessimist Your Future in the Movie Business Have you ever wanted to own a movie theater?

You could play whatever movies you wanted, whenever you wanted and collect whatever fees you wanted from your customers. All you’d have to do is watch movies while the money rolls in. Do you think you can handle that? Well too bad, you missed your chance already, slacker. Netflix and Video on Demand took your job and now that dream is dead.

There were probably a few other things that turned the tides for movie theaters besides VOD. People don’t like paying $15 for popcorn, for one. Having to listen to some asshole in the row behind you playing with his cell phone the whole time does not make for a good movie experience, either. The decline of movie theater attendance could even be caused by something more simple like those dirty movie theater seats with their layers of popcorn “butter” slime and teenage makeout juices.

Any one of these things alone would be cause enough to shutter our nation’s theaters, but the fact that they are all occurring at once can only mean certain death for your local picture house. While this certainly sucks for the movie theater owners, it doesn’t have to mean the death of the big screen for us all.

There is another way to watch your favorite films on the big screen. All you need is a little bit of space. Do you have a yard, garage or room with enough wall space to project a large picture? If so, then a home theater could be in your near future!

Once believed to be something found only on episodes of Cribs, the home theater is now more attainable than ever before. The equipment can be inexpensive and the setup is relatively easy once you find a proper location for your theater. When it comes to location, screen placement and seating are your main concerns, so decide how big of a theater you want and get hunting. Don’t be afraid to take things outside if the indoors aren’t cutting the mustard. As long as your neighborhood isn’t too noisy, a backyard movie can be a great way to spend an evening with friends.

Once a location is set, the next piece of the puzzle is the picture. The projector will be your biggest cost in this venture. 720p

SubmergeMag.com

2708 J Street Sacramento 916.441.4693 HarlowS.com ritA COOliDgE

BlACk Milk Bocephus Chigger bocephus@submergemag.com

projectors are on the cheaper end but work fine for most applications as most will scale up to 1080p anyway. Of course, the price goes up for true 1080p projectors, but some can still be found for reasonable prices around the Web. 4k projectors are now available, but only an asshole would buy one of those. Don’t be an asshole.

Whichever route you choose, you are going to need a device to allow the projector to play movies. Laptops or DVD players work great and may already be around the house, thereby saving you dough. If streaming is your thing, a Google Chromecast or Roku will connect to most projectors to give you access to Netflix, Hulu, Amazon and the rest for about $40.

Whatever you decide to watch, it’s going to need to be projected onto something. A white wall will work if it’s completely flat, though it won’t necessary be the best picture quality. You can also buy fixed and portable screens on the Internet for next to nothing, depending on the size and quality you seek.

You can even go the DIY route and build your own screen. Either way, you should be good for under $100.

That takes care of the sights, so what about the sounds? The speakers you get don’t need to be bass-heavy or super loud.

The speakers are for watching a flick, so, it’s mostly going to be dialogue pumping out of them, anyway. You should be thinking bookshelf speakers, 5 inches or larger or surround sound if you can afford it and it works for your room. Don’t forget: if the pair of speakers you want aren’t powered, then you are going to need an amp as well. Dig around, though; you can find a decent set of powered speakers that will do the job nicely for dirt cheap.

Now that you got all your equipment, you just need to connect everything together. Once that’s done, set up some chairs, make some popcorn and invite your friends, because it’s officially movie night. While this project may sound expensive, careful deal hunting can get you all set up for about $500. Of course, you can spend thousands of dollars on a ridiculous setup, if that’s more your style; just be mindful of that whole asshole thing.

WitH livE BAND NAt turNEr

SuNDAY

tHurSDAY

8PM $15adv

4 /12

4 /16

MONDAY

8PM $20adv

WEDNESDAY

7PM $10

3 /30 4 /01

tHE DEAD MilkMEN

5:30PM $40 all ages

tuESDAY

4 /21

8PM $22.50 adv

Pete Rock/HANiF Slum Village YO MAMA’S Big FAt BOOtY BAND tHE gOOD SAMAritANS tHE SOul SHiNE BAND

tHurSDAY

8PM $20adv

Johnny a

FriDAY

9:30PM $12adv

WONDErBrEAD 5

SAturDAY

5:30PM $12adv

SAturDAY

9:30PM $15

SAvED BY tHE ‘90S

tHurSDAY

9PM $10

uPlift the youth

FriDAY

5:30PM $15adv

FlEEtWOOD MASk

FriDAY

10PM $10adv

the PReSSuRe lounge tHEOtOkOS | QuiNN HEDgES

SAturDAY

8PM $15-25adv

4 /02 4 /03

4 /04 4 /04 4 /09

4 /10 4 /10 4/11

MONDAY

4 /13

6:30PM $20

*all

keVin RuSSell’S

cReam of claPton

SizzliNg SirENS: SEA OF grEEN

the golden State – lone StaR ReVue

StaRRing anSon fundeRbuRgh, chaRlie baty, maRk hummel, R.W. gRigSby, and WeS StaRR

times are d o or times*

COMING SOON 04/14 04/15 04/17 04/18 04/19 04/22 04/23 04/24 04/25

tubaluba global guitar greats Dwele tainted love Agent Orange Flat Busted the J Band Nora Jane Struthers Sir Michael rocks

04/25 04/26 04/29 05/01 05/01 05/02 05/02 05/03 05/05

Big Eyed Fish (late) Curren$y Big Data life in the Fastlane John Nemeth (late) Andy Mckee killer Queens (late) the Beatles 1965 Helmet

05/09 05/09 05/13 05/14 05/16 05/20 05/23 05/23 05/30

Issue 184 • March 30 – April 13, 2015

Joseph in the Well Solsa Howard Jones Dru Hill Strangelove Ex Hex Shuggie Otis Midnight Players (late) California Honeydrops

9

The Queen Having Made Her Choice

Coiled

It’s a Whimsical Life

Dragons

Artist Laurelin Gilmore showcases the beauty of everyday with unexpected imagery Words Eddie Jorgensen

S

Jelly Ballet

Waiting

10

Aquestrians

acramento has always wanted to be a primary market, but as far as attendance at art and music gatherings go, has been a tertiary market at best. In the last decade, however, artists like painter/sculptor/illustrator Laurelin Gilmore have managed to eke out a living doing what they love most: working fulltime on art. Not only is Gilmore an artist on the rise, she has won several awards and the approval of many fans and venues alike.

On any given day during the traditional Mondaythrough-Friday work week, you can find Gilmore holding court at Verge Center For The Arts (625 S Street), working on her craft. Because her rent is manageable, she is able to have a space away from her home in North Sacramento, where she currently resides with her husband and 8-yearold daughter who she says is “a better artist than I was at her age.”

“Being an artist is not a self-sufficient entity and my husband does need to work,” Gilmore recently said in a

telephone interview. “However, it is my full-time job and I spend about five hours a day in the studio and have 24hour access to come and go as I please. It’s great to have somewhere to go and create if I feel the desire late at night.

On weekends, I usually spend my time with my family unless I have a show somewhere.”

For the uninitiated, Gilmore’s work is highly colorful, whether she’s doing drawings, paintings or threedimensional sculptures.

“I have been drawing as long as I could hold a crayon,” she says. “It’s really hard to quantify how many drawings or handmade pieces I’ve made over the years, but drawing was my first love. Up until 1998, I was strictly a pencil, graphite, chalk and charcoal artist.”

Gilmore says it was “just kind of a natural extension from hand drawings to expand and add texture and form” when she began painting.

“I’m still an advocate of drawing in its primitive and primary form, however.”

However, there is one medium that Gilmore doesn’t

excel in. “I don’t do very well with colored pencil,” Lauren admits. “Using a colored pencil creates too fine of a line. If you cover a large area with colored pencil, you lose immediacy in the piece and it takes much more time. Rather than drawing a sky with colored pencils as a medium which can take hours, painting is far more expressive and, similarly, more colorful to view.”

In her artist’s statement, Gilmore says her subject matter “can be somewhat varied, but the human figure has always been my touchstone. My goal is to record on the paper or canvas as well I can the beauty of everyday through realism, surrealism and fantasy. My art looks at the place where separates meet, and explores through fantasy the experience of the would-be fence sitters as go-betweens, translators, and bridges between perspectives.”

Gilmore admits the collection she’s preparing for her show in September is one she’s “most excited about and terrified of creating.

“This is the most personal art I’ve ever made,” she says.

From Market

Issue 184 • March 30 – April 13, 2015

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

“I am painting my experience as a person living with vitiligo…a skin condition that turns patches of skin white. I am using as models a couple of people who also have the condition and using myself as well to explore it as something beautiful and strange and strangely beautiful, I guess.

Reactions span the spectrum, so I look forward to engaging viewers in a discussion on the topic that is motivated by seeing me and mine in a different light.”

Gilmore’s 20-plus-year tenure in the Sacramento Valley has garnered her fans, accolades and an appreciation for the Sacramento art community.

She earned degrees in Fine Arts and Library Sciences from Sacramento City College and soon put down roots.

“Since I once lived in San Francisco, I always thought I could someday return there,” she says. “I have lived in Sacramento for over 20 years and it’s very affordable. In San Francisco or the Bay Area, there is a lot of competition in the artist community. Here in Sacramento, however, it feels much more like a tightknit community.”

Her tenure in that community begins with her very first sold drawing at a Sacramento City College art show (for which she still holds the $20 check “for posterity”), and continues with a stint at Gallery 2110 inside the Sacramento Art Complex, as well as entries in prominent shows. From 2012 to 2014, Gilmore had a studio space at Gallery 2110, where she earned commissions from several walk-ins. Though she loved the exposure, the downside was the 2nd Saturday traffic being able to see “things that were still in their creative womb,” she says. “I would often have a couple of easels up and people [would] see pieces in their infancy.”

Gilmore’s Self Portrait with Olivia drawing, of herself holding her infant daughter, was accepted to the 2007 California State Fair and sold. In 2013, Gilmore’s Coiled painting won Best in Show at the Sacramento Fine Art Center 2013 Animal House exhibit. “This is no small thing since there were some incredibly talented artists showing there,” she says.

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“People told me they could see themselves, their loved ones in my work. I absolutely love hearing the stories people come up with around these creatures I’ve made. It means they inspire a thought process that goes in weird creative directions for people, and what else could I ask for?” – Laurelin Gilmore Gilmore is looking to geographically spread her wings, and is on the hunt for more shows. But she’s calculatingly realistic about the prospects. “Last year I told myself I wanted to show in Los Angeles and New York and I did manage to get the former done,” she says. “I also want to do New Orleans and New Mexico. Basically, I’ve been looking for shows that I can drive to since you usually have to pay a fee to be curated, the gallery takes a percentage of any sales made, and it costs a lot to ship to out-of-town galleries.

I decided I would only do shows that I could drive to unless there was something amazing like an international offer or something major that I couldn’t pass up.”

Making a living is a struggle when you’re a local artist, and for the most part, you either sell at one of your residencies or through constant word of mouth in the artist community. Gilmore, however, is optimistic about using cyberspace to boost her sales and maintain a semi-steady flow of income.

She plans to open an online store connected to her website (Laurelingilmore.com) and branch out to other social media sites including Twitter.

“I’m not as active on the internet as I should be and stopped blogging a while back,” she says. “And while I do believe in artists telling their own experience, I just never really kept it up. Social media from my Facebook page has been a great way to get the word out, however, about shows and pieces I’ve done.”

For those who chose the uncertain path of being a full-time artist, it always helps to have a support system whether family, friends, or colleagues in her field. When pressed whether family has encouraged and acknowledged her chosen path as a legitimate one, Gilmore was quick to reply.

“It’s one of the questions many people ask me,” she says. “The fact remains that nobody ever told me to stop. My mother, husband, brother and two older sisters were always supportive of my endeavors and never questioned me. Additionally, I am still very close with the former owners of Gallery 2110 and they are great allies to have.”

Of course, no monetary value can take the place of human interaction and experiences. And while Gilmore has not become a millionaire overnight, it is her love for the art that has made a difference.

“Personally, I think my greatest triumphs have come from interacting with art lovers,” she says. “At the Sacramento Art Complex, I was so privileged to be able to meet and converse with so many people who had personal experiences relating to my art. There was a little boy who used to come in every single month with his mom and ask me questions about new work, old work, whatever. I really looked forward to seeing the two of them.

“One woman told me that my painting, Jelly Ballet, has been used to inspire conversations about body image and body gratitude in her circle of friends. People told me they could see themselves, their loved ones in my work. I absolutely love hearing the stories people come up with around these creatures I’ve made. It means they inspire a thought process that goes in weird creative directions for people, and what else could I ask for?”

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See for yourself at Gilmore’s upcoming show at Little Relics (908 21st Street), featuring shadow boxes and paintings.

Opening reception is Thursday, April 9, from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m. For more info, visit Laurelingilmore.com.

Issue 184 • March 30 – April 13, 2015

11

Just Like the Old Times

Lights hits the road running on the strength of her latest album, Little Machines Words James Barone photo Matt Barnes

T

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Cosmic Carnivale

12

Issue 184 • March 30 – April 13, 2015

ouring is difficult in the winter—even for a Canadian.

Just ask Lights (born Valerie Anne Poxleitner), who set out on the road during a record-breaking cold snap for a good portion of North America. However, when Submerge caught up with the vivacious singer/songwriter, she was nestled in the relative warmth of the Lone Star State.

“We’re in Dallas,” she enthused. “I can’t complain. It’s a little rainy, but it’s the first warm day.”

Not only was it warm...ish, but she was also getting geared up for a sold-out show.

“The crowd here in Dallas has always been good to us,” she said. “We’ve been touring here for so long, we have a really wicked fan base here. Dallas has always been really fun to play.

A warm reception is nothing new for Lights. She reported that a stop earlier in the month in Minneapolis yielded similar results. But in speaking with her, it wasn’t difficult to imagine how she’s been able to charm so many audiences.

Lights’ music exudes her personality: infectious, open and brimming with confidence. Her latest album, 2014’s Little Machines, features her emphatic vocals taking charge of a power-packed musical backdrop that at times seems to toe the line between EDM-informed pop and new wave. It’s her first collection of new material since 2011’s Siberia. In the time in between, she got married to Blessthefall’s Beau Bokan and the couple had their first child. However, she also struggled with a bout of writer’s block that saw her expanding her horizons as an artist in order to overcome.

“I think that I had to just not think about music for a little while and focus on other aspects of my creativity,” Lights explained. “Creativity as a whole is a muscle, and if it doesn’t get practice, it gets weak, and you need to broaden your perspective of what your art is.”

She expressed herself through painting and poetry, she said, and also took walks in order to stoke the flames of her creativity. Luckily for her fans, it worked, and the result was a sort of songwriting eruption.

“I ended up writing 43 songs for the album,” she said. “At the end of 2013, I was like, wow, there are a lot of songs here.

Not even a month later, we were in the studio working on the album. It’s just a part of maturing, just trying different angles and seeing what’s going to fit. Now I’m more inspired than ever.”

Later in spring, Lights will head to Sacramento for a show at Ace of Spades on April 16, in between playing both weekends of Coachella, along with every other musical act you're pretty much dying to see live. In the following interview, we discussed a couple of the songs on Little Machines as well as what it was like coming of age in the music industry. But first, we got down and nerdy.

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

Before we go on, I was reading a clip about you in Nylon, and they asked you to list your favorite things to do to wind down, and one of the things you mentioned was playing Final Fantasy games.

I love the Final Fantasy series…

Oh, do you? What’s your favorite Final Fantasy? You’re going to say VII, aren’t you…

No, actually it’s VIII. Oh! I love the story, the characters, everything about it. What about yours?

I have to say the XIII series—XIII, XIII-2 and Lightning Returns. It’s because I love Lightning. She’s such a badass, and I got my haircut like hers…

That’s what I was leading up to. I thought your hair looked like the character’s.

Yeah! She’s a role model of mine, and she’s not even real!

You’re playing both weekends of Coachella. Have you ever been there before, even as a spectator?

No, this is my first time there. My first time there will be playing it.

I’m really excited, and I’m looking forward to playing it for sure. The first day of Coachella—well, the first day we’re playing it—is my birthday.

Are there any bands you’re hoping to catch while you’re at Coachella?

On the day we’re playing, The War on Drugs is playing, and I really love that album, so I’m going to try to see them. I’m also going to try to see Drake… I don’t know if I’m going to bring a flower crown or not. Is everyone going to wear a flower crown? Is that the thing you have to do when you go to Coachella, or put things on your forehead? I don’t know.

Maybe that’s how you prepare for Coachella--put a jewel on your forehead and a flower crown [laughs].

I read that you were first signed when you were 15. That must have been a surreal experience, basically growing up in the music business.

It’s kind of funny… I started writing when I was 11 and producing my own stuff when I was 15. By the time I met my first manager and got my first development deal when I was 16—I met my manager when I was 15—it was kind of like instantly de-glamorized for me.

You think when you get signed, you’re suddenly famous. I had this fantasy when I was 13 that I would go snowboarding and everyone would recognize me at

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the slopes. In the first few months, though, it was de-glamorized for me. That’s not a sad story. It’s probably a realistic story. I was rejected a lot in the beginning; people didn’t get it. I went around to a million different CEOs of record labels, and people didn’t understand it. After a while, I got a development deal, and people tried to figure out what your sound is and who’s going to get behind you. Then the merger with Sony and BMG happened, and I got dropped from that, but I got signed to a publishing deal and started focusing on songwriting.

It was a lot of traveling around between the small town I lived in and Toronto, and sitting in hotel rooms writing and trying to catch up on school work. It wasn’t a surreal experience, because it was a lot of hard work and more of a grind, really.

You said it de-glamorized the whole thing for you. Do you think that helps keep you grounded, because you saw that it’s not just about talent, but it’s about a lot of things?

For sure. It instantly became not about fame and not about money.

It’s about doing what makes you happy, because you have all these different people around you that have a different idea of what they think you can be. I have a pretty good sense of myself, and I’m pretty confident, even when I was younger, and I was so disgusted by the idea of somebody else trying to create a persona for me, and I think that was important because, you know, nobody can tell me what I am. Because of that, I really had to search out where I belonged in music. Even now, doing what I love and creating music that makes me happy is the most important thing.

Your latest album, Little Machines, is really good. I really liked the song, “Running with the Boys.”

I thought the lyrics had a real nostalgic quality to them. I was hoping you could talk about the writing of that one a little bit.

Thank you! Yeah, that’s one of my favorite ones from the record, because it describes that mindstate I was in when I rediscovered the inspiration for creating music. It went back to the beginning days when I first started producing my own stuff and the limitless qualities of creativity. You could be whoever you want, sound any way you want. I never want to lose that, but the more you get to know about the industry—or anything in life—once it gets de-glamorized... you know, the prospect was always more beautiful when we were younger… And that’s how

“I’m pretty confident, even when I was younger, and I was so disgusted by the idea of somebody else trying to create a persona for me, and I think that was important because, you know, nobody can tell me what I am. Because of that, I really had to search out where I belonged in music.

Even now, doing what I love and creating music that makes me happy is the most important thing.”

– Lights

we should keep it, how beautiful life could be, and that’s what that song is all about.

Based on what you were saying earlier, there’s a song on your album called “Muscle Memory.” Is it about what you were saying?

That creativity is a muscle?

Ironically, “Muscle Memory” is actually about the experience I’m going through of being a musician married to a musician. We’re away from each other all the time. It’s the idea of someone’s ghost being there even when they’re not near, thinking they’re there but they’re not. I began writing that song when I was in the middle of being really frustrated about music, and when I first finished it, I didn’t like it. I showed it to the team and the label, and I was really embarrassed, but everyone loved it. I was like, “Really? You like this song?” I had to really trust everyone and go back and listen to it and hear it with new ears.

That’s something with having a lack of inspiration—everything sounds like crap. It’s not lack of talent, but lack of vision of seeing what’s actually good. That’s an example of something I went back to later, because everyone was like, “No, you’re crazy. This is a good song.” And now it’s one of the favorites on the album. When we play it live, it’s so dynamic and energetic. Right now it’s our show opener. It’s funny how things can come full-circle after a lack of inspiration.

It sounds like you have a bunch of songs that didn’t make the album that you can work on too, if you wanted.

I’ve always had excess songs for every album. I’ve probably written 10,000 songs in my life, but that’s the thing with music, and I think that’s good advice for anyone starting out… You can’t hold anything too dear, because not every single song that you write is going to be good. You can’t write 10 songs and say, “That’s going to be my album.” You have to get past the blasé stuff to get to the really rich stuff, and that’s just part of it. It’s kind of sad, because I’ve started so many songs that have just disappeared, because I didn’t have anywhere for them to go, and I’ve forgotten. And that’s OK. You can’t really go back to a song that’s five years old and have it represent where you’re at in life now.

See Lights live in Sacramento when she plays Ace of Spades on April 16. Saint Motel will also perform.

Tickets to this all-ages show are $15. For more information and to purchase tickets, go to Aceofspadessac.com.

Issue 184 • March 30 – April 13, 2015

13

Back to Basics

Catching Up with Ross Hammond as He Readies the Release of His New Album, Flight Words Fabian Garcia • photo Louise Mitchell

R

oss Hammond stuck out like a guitar player’s sore “The best music anyone’s going to make is music that resonates strumming thumb sitting in front of the Old Soul and music that is related to how they live. And the message that coffeehouse at the Weatherstone. Wearing one of his they’re trying to send, and how to channel their life through signature golf caps and sleek black eyeglasses, with a guitar sound. To me, that’s the most important thing.” case resting up against the brick wall behind him, he was Between being a family man, running his live music studio unmistakable even from a distance.

(Gold Lion Arts in Land Park) and trying to succeed as a full-time With each step I took toward him, though, the more I musician who distributes his own records, Hammond has had to surveyed the scene for a blonde little girl wandering about let go of some of his former booking duties here in Sacramento— somewhere nearby—his daughter Lola, I’ve heard, isn’t usually too primarily for the In the Flow festival that he’s hosted annually far from his side. Apparently, I had just missed her. Darn it. since 2008, which incorporated live local music, local art, And with that, Hammond and I stood up and took a stroll spoken word and open mics throughout different venues in around the blocks of 21st and I streets, spiraling outward in Midtown and Downtown. concentric circles as we discussed his latest solo acoustic album, Hammond says practically all the responsibilities of running Flight, his recent departure from the annual Midtown In the Flow In the Flow were being bounced off of him in one way or another, concert series and how his family continues to be a constant despite having volunteers. At its busiest, In the Flow was juggling source of inspiration in his music. about 35 local bands over the course of five days.

Since completing his collaborative quartet album Adored “So that was a lot of fun, it was really cool. But for me, it had in 2012, Hammond recorded three other joint projects prior to kind of—it was just getting to be too much work for one person,” Flight—due out April 14—all of which are about as free jazz and Hammond explains. “I just felt like we did it. We said what we experimental as anything he’s ever done. Flight, however, is wanted to say and it was cool. And now, it’s like I have a space much more in the same vein as his eighth-posted album from his [in Gold Lion] and we can basically do something similar to In the Bandcamp page, Music from “Cemetery Rose,” where he also used Flow over the whole year.” six- and 12-string guitars to evoke more of a rural, In other words, Hammond is just trying to outdoorsy sentiment through traditional countrybe responsible—both to his family and to himself.

“The best music like twang and discernable folk melodies.

Nothing wrong with that at all. anyone’s going to Much like “Cemetery Rose,” Hammond Feeling as though he’s done his fair share make is music that says he wanted to take Flight back to the for the local jazz and creative music scene in basics of acoustic, which his teacher Jimi Sacramento, Hammond says he’s at a point now resonates and music Butler once described to him as the bedrock that is related to how where he wants to pull back a bit and focus more of all guitar playing. on furthering his own life and career goals, which they live. And the “He told me a long time ago. He said, ‘Hey are not necessarily tied to this town. message that they’re man, if you can’t play on acoustic, you can’t play “I mean, at this point, I like living here. I trying to send, and shit,’” Hammond says with a smirk on his face. like that I can make a living here and stuff. But how to channel their “So, you know. I mean, I agree with that. But I’ve after so long, I don’t really feel a responsibility,” been wanting to do an acoustic thing for a long life through sound. To Hammond says. “And one of these days, you time now.” know, one of these days we may just pick up and, me, that’s the most Still, Hammond’s newest record truly feels ‘Oh, let’s go check out what Chicago’s like. Or let’s important thing.” like it belongs in a league of its own, if not for its see what New York’s like.’”

– Ross Hammond rejuvenating spiritual aesthetic—where each track Hosting the same kinds of shows and cycling unpacks like a bindle with a sense of reflection through the same sorts of gigs in Sacramento, he and, at times, even adventure—then just for the unfiltered adds, tends to create a “revolving door” effect for artists here. homegrown recipe of a man, his guitars and a portable Zoom It’s a phenomenon he hopes to avoid by following his music down recorder. That’s all Flight is. Nothing more, nothing less. whatever path it may lead him—wherever it leads him—and, of “It’s like, ‘How bare bones can I get? How minimalist can I get? course, taking his family along for the ride the entire way.

And will it work if it’s just one instrument with no overdubs, no “It’s trying to fit everything in,” he says. “I’m trying to be a real processing?’” Hammond says. “I want it to sound raw like it dad and trying to be a husband and trying to be a guitar player sounds at the kitchen table.” and not suck at any of those things. That’s the trick.”

A recurring theme in almost all of his works, it comes as In the midst of the juggle, Hammond ponders his next move. no surprise that Hammond’s family life seeps its way onto the “So the next thing? I don’t know. I mean recording-wise and record in some of the most endearing ways. In “When Cows Face then long term, who the Same Direction,” listeners can actually hear echoes of his knows?” he says. “I’ve daughter Lola playing with her mother in the background while got a two-year lease Ross Hammond’s Flight is available for Hammond sits at home and records live around his loved ones. on Gold Lion, and then pre-order via his website, Rosshammond. com. He’ll be celebrating the release of “I’m a sentimental dude,” he says. “I like that kind of stuff.” if we renew our rent the album with two shows: The first The song “You Are My Sunshine” is also dedicated to his might go up like $40. So will be a solo show at Gold Lion Arts daughter, standing as the only track on the album to receive a we’ll see—we’ll just see (2733 Riverside Boulevard, Sacramento) at 4 p.m. on April 12. On April 13, you music video treatment, which portrays a fragmented day in the how it goes. As long can catch him at Luna’s Cafe (with life of the Hammonds in super-slow motion. as I’ve got the family Alex Jenkins on percussion) as part of “For me, the best music you’re gonna make is not because happening, I’m not tied the Nebraska Mondays series. Go to you’ve been sitting at home and practicing your scales all day, to anything.”

Lunascafe.com for more info. or learning all these freakin’ chords and stuff,” Hammond says.

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Issue 184 • March 30 – April 13, 2015

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

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Issue 184 • March 30 – April 13, 2015

15

With Special GueSt

April 11

SAT u R DAy

W E D N E S DAy

With Special GueSt

Maxxx

April 22

Saint Motel

T h u R S DAy

April 16

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S u N DAy

April 12

SAT u R DAy

SAT u R DAy

With Special GueSt

April 25

April 18

the alcheMiSt

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M O N DAy

April 13

W E D N E S DAy

April 29

cherry red

Zeroclient

T h u R S DAy

Featuring omar & cedric From at the drive in and the MarS volta

M O N DAy

April 20

April 9

Brodie Stewart Band • tyler rich

T u E S DAy

April 14

T h u R S DAy

April 30

Finn luiSa lavulo

f R i DAy

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April 10

i the MiGhty

W E D N E S DAy

Issue 184 • March 30 – April 13, 2015

April 15

T u E S DAy

April 21

SAT u R DAy

May 2

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

f R i DAy f R i DAy

May 8

T h u R S DAy

May 14

May 29

f R i DAy

June 26

reStrayned • roSwell • Force oF haBit

PaciFic duB

SAT u R DAy

May 9

SAT u R DAy

May 30

T h u R S DAy

July 2

July 9

May 16

SAT u R DAy

f R i DAy

June 5

T h u R S DAy

f R i DAy

June 12

f R i DAy

connor Kennedy • minStrel

T u E S DAy

May 12

S u N DAy

May 17

With Special GueSt

GilliGan MoSS

aMericaZ MoZt haunted

W E D N E S DAy SubmergeMag.com

May 13

W E D N E S DAy

May 20

All Shows All Ages

July 24

Tickets Available @ Dimple Records, Armadillo Online: AceOfSpadesSac.com

By Phone: 1.877.GND.CTRL OR 916.443.9202

Issue 184 • March 30 – April 13, 2015

17

“There’s stuff we have in storage we thought about bringing out. But now that we’re here, we want our clients now and our friends to bring new stuff in to make it their own.”

– Jason Yee, owner of Pre-Flite Lounge

At Home with the Regulars Pre-Flite Lounge re-emerges at a new location, bringing with it many familiar faces Words Blake Gillespie • photos ON PAGE 18 BY evan e. duran

W

here there once was a bar, hidden in a seemingly abandoned basement corridor of the downtown mall, there now exists a crater under construction. The Pre-Flite Lounge was a 40-yearold time capsule, a quaint bar untouched by time, that perhaps lingered because it was forgotten. The Pre-Flite Lounge was lukewarm domestic beer served in frosted mugs to offset the tap temperature. A heavy hand poured no-nonsense cocktails like whiskey-water, gintonic and vodka-soda. When the craft-craze of artisanal beer and cocktails swept through Sacramento, the Pre-Flite didn’t balk and no one seemed to mind. Former regulars look back and their memories are unified by signifiers like “unpretentious” and “classic.” Everyone remembers their first time and becomes protective of who they tell out of respect for the bar.

That was the legacy of the original before it was demolished last year to build a new cathedral for our NBA franchise we fought desperately to keep. And even though owner Jason Yee purchased the establishment in 2010, he remained committed to its continuation by opening a new home mere blocks away in Jazz Alley.

“My goal was to take over and run it another 20 or 30 years,” Yee said regarding his acquisition of the bar.

There were no arena talks in 2010 threatening Pre-Flite, only the impending sale by Heather Parisi, owner since 1982. When she vetted Yee on the purchase, it was done the old fashioned way, he recalls. He ran a yogurt cafe in the mall called Yummy Yogurt. Upon learning about the chance to purchase, he regularly patroned the bar for a few months, expressing interest in conversation.

18

One afternoon the bartender casually slipped him a napkin with a phone number on it.

“He kinda slid it over to me and said, ‘hey, the owner wants to talk to you.’”

Yee drove to Parisi’s home in Carmichael soon after.

They talked for four hours over whiskey-waters about everything except the bar, mostly “her family, [my] family, and life” he said. Eventually she disclosed that while she had many suitors eager to purchase, she liked him and trusted his intentions with the bar. That vote of confidence only goes so far, though. Yee still had to earn the trust of the regulars.

“As soon as I was taking over, a lot of the regulars were concerned I would change everything up,” he said.

“I had always loved the Pre-Flite, so I wanted to keep it the same.”

That desire to not disrupt the natural order is inherent in a Pre-Flite regular. I never became one myself, but I respected the sanctity. It was never about exclusivity, just that cryptic “don’t ruin the bar” mentality.

My guide one night in 2009 was a former writer for this magazine, Vincent Girimonte, who deemed me worthy of entering the hallowed ground of the original Pre-Flite Lounge. That night we rode our bikes to a section of L Street that felt deserted at 7 p.m. It struck me as almost impossible to stumble in without guidance. Entering Pre-Flite for the first time was like past-life deja vu or checking into the Hotel California.

Everything felt unchanged since before you were born, from the carpeted floors and the wood-paneled walls to the neon-lit jukebox in the back corner.

Issue 184 • March 30 – April 13, 2015

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

Pre-Flite's previous location

You even wondered if the patrons bellied up to the bar had been there for a few hours or a few decades. With repeat visits you learned names, like Russ behind the bar, and which day there’s free bean dip. You meet the dogs, too: the Jack Russell Terrier Louie that trots around with disinterest in attention unless food is involved, and the large white sheep dog named Babs that can stand with its paws on the bar like any other regular.

My experience is not unique. There are many who considered Pre-Flite Lounge their home or home-away-from-home. As a regular only to be referred to as Kevin told me, “A lot of people have lived and died there.”

Kevin started coming in 2011 after Yee took over, learning of the bar through a newspaper article. He called the old location “the perfect man cave.” He goes to the new location as well. It’s here around 4 p.m. he brings up the historical hearsay of past owners. Legend has it Parisi was mentioned in the will of original owner, Larry Bowa. After he died, his girlfriend ran the bar for a year before she passed away as well. It was then discovered that Parisi was in the will to purchase Pre-Flite. Any further insight as to what her relationship to Bowa might have been was taken to another lifetime upon her passing in November 2013.

Pete is a regular who still frequents the new Pre-Flite as well. His first trip to Pre-Flite was in 2008, in need of a pint on the way to a Rivercats baseball game. To Pete it’s that classic, unpretentious quality that allowed Pre-Flite to remain undisrupted.

“It calms down the atmosphere,” he said.

“People came in regardless of their background, took in the ambiance and everyone got on the same wavelength.”

When Yee sought a new location, he pursued real estate much like the former—hidden and precarious. There is no signage, only a velvet rope to an open doorway in an alley. That door leads to a bank vault and within the vault are the faithful patrons of Pre-Flite Lounge 2.0 (as he calls it) carrying on the legacy. The jukebox is there, still functional and loaded with vintage tracks, some growing increasingly obscure with time. Yee salvaged the old doors with the outdated sign of “Happy Hour 10 a.m. – 1 p.m.: 65 cents.” Alice the comically busty mannequin is there as well. But like any new chapter, there are missing pieces that will fade into the history books.

“There’s stuff we have in storage we thought about bringing out,” Yee said. “But now that we’re here, we want our clients now and our friends to bring new stuff in to make it their own.”

SubmergeMag.com

The move has its growing pains. Bartender Bridget Lopez says Louie the terrier is uncomfortable with the cement floors and she tries to make him feel relaxed by bundling up sweaters on the floor. Some regulars like Larry and his dog Babs have yet to come by the new location. But, Pre-Flite 2.0 has neighbors like photographer Nicholas Wray, Omar Salazar’s skate collective Doom Sayers, and hundreds of industry servers and cooks in need of a secluded watering hole for a post-shift (or, more apropos) pre-shift drink. The afternoon I’m there interviewing regulars, Adam Pechal, local chef in flux, is there doing just that, raising awareness to his industry friends that a semi-hidden bar exists. His only complaint is that he no longer has storage space in the building from his former restaurant Thir13en.

“I wish it was here two years ago when I was in and out next door all the time,” he says. “I could pick up some catering equipment, stop in for quick beverage and move along with my day. I could have been drinking [Jason’s] booze instead of my booze.”

E pilogue : Jazz Alley between 10th and 11th downtown has no folklore nor history to the coinage. There was no infamous juke joint or speakeasy where Charles Mingus or Duke Ellington once played, therefore earning the title. Jazz Alley is Jazz Alley by mandate of the city. We had no say, much like we are at the mercy of K Street becoming The Kay, knowing that only tourists call it that. As much as developers and city planners might think you can invent districts, invent history, you can’t. History is earned.

Pre-Flite Lounge 2.0 cannot salvage the crock naming of Jazz Alley, just like Pre-Flite Lounge 2.0 will never fully recapture the essence of the original. But regulars like Kevin, Pete and Pechal agree that the spiritual calm that made the original a haven is not lost entirely. Pre-Flite is not the first bar in Sacramento to move and maintain its mythos. This is not a city deeply concerned with the historical protection of olive toothpicks. But steadfast are its barflies, relaying the oral history to the stool adjacent.

Pull up a stool at Pre-Flite Lounge’s new location, 1011 10th Street in Sacramento.

You can even like it on Facebook (Facebook.com/ Preflitelounge).

Nicholson’s MusiCafe 6 3 2 E . B i d w E l l S t. F o l S o m april 1 & april 8 6 - 9 pm

april 3 & april10

april 4 & april 11 1 - 2 pm

5-7 pm

hour acoustic happy ($1 off draft beer) free open ukulele open mic mic class night 6-9 pm

916.984.3020

nicholsonsmusicafe

april 11 6 - 9 pm

fred Wilson “the balladier” (guitarist/singer)

Live Music. Beer On Tap. Organic Coffee.

A truly Artful shAve At Anthony’s BArBershop

2408 21st st • Sac • sacramentobarbershop.com (916) 457-1120 • Tues-Fri 9am-6pm • saT 10am-4pm Issue 184 • March 30 – April 13, 2015

19

Animal House

Even As Christian Kiefer Unveils His Latest Book, The Animals, He’s Already Hard at Work on His Next Words Josh Fernandez • photo Jessica Eger

I

didn’t think Newcastle was a real place. I figured Christian Kiefer didn’t want me to go to his house, so he made up some fictional land as a way to tell me to fuck off. But not only is Newcastle a real place, it’s really close to Sacramento.

On the way there, as the scenery turned from strip malls to pristine megachurches and finally to layers of thick, healthy trees, it sort of made sense that Kiefer would want to get as far away from the city as possible. Not that Sacramento is some major metropolis, but he’s a busy man and probably doesn’t need any more clutter to infect a mind that’s always trying to think.

And when I say busy, he’s busy. He’s a father of at least 400 children (OK, maybe like 5), a husband, a musician, a professor at American River College, a writer and, for some reason that I don’t fully understand, he has a bunch of sheep. Plus, he built a back patio on his house. I don’t know what else he does, but I didn’t want to ask. I felt bad enough about my life as it was.

But, of all those activities, Kiefer probably loves writing the most.

(Sorry, kids.)

Even when he’s teaching, hanging out with his understanding wife or tending to his children and sheep, he’s constructing new narratives that start as little seedlings in his brain and bloom into real books that are adored by masters like Denis Johnson and T.C. Boyle.

His 2012 debut The Infinite Tides, a novel about a perpetually bummed out astronaut caught in a suburban labyrinth of grief crafted by his own bad decisions, garnered excellent praise, including a Publisher’s Weekly review that called the book “an astute, impressive and ambitious debut.”

His second book, The Animals (out March 23), is about a man who is trying to correct his troubled past, which comes speeding back, threatening to derail everything he’s been so careful trying to rebuild.

The book (which Kirkus Reviews called “Eloquent and shattering”) is thrilling, especially compared to Tides’ occasionally plodding introspection, yet it retains Kiefer’s curiosity with language and with the world around him with poetic writing that entrances the reader completely. The Animals is dark, but humorous exactly where it needs to be. One of my favorite scenes is a flashback where the villainous Rick is trying to get his buddy Nat laid in a bar: “She might have been forty, although she wore so much makeup it was difficult to tell, eyes wiped with turquoise as thick as paint and hair like a bundle of blond wires. She licked her lips. He had seen animals in nature documentaries perform similar actions while feeding on carcasses in the plains of Africa.”

With The Animals still fresh in the world, Kiefer works on his third book, Kingdom of Wolves, which seems to be pushing back a little, giving the author a bit of trouble. Still, he invited me over to his countryside home for a little chat in his writing studio, a big shed full of books and instruments that sits behind his house, next to the trampoline where his little blonde children bounce and scream in exhilaration.

When I exit the freeway and follow the signs to Newcastle, I know I’m close to Kiefer’s house because: a) It looks like the end of civilization b) I have to drive down a dirt road c) I have to stop my car to wait for some asshole turkey that’s

waddling in front of my car like it owns the place.

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Issue 184 • March 30 – April 13, 2015

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

Why do you live all the way out here?

I’ve always lived out here. I grew up in Auburn.

You like it out here because it’s away from things?

I’ve never lived in Sacramento. Sacramento is just the town that’s in the way when I’m going to San Francisco. I’m not a city kid. It’s too much stimulus or the pace is wrong for me or something. When I visit town, I have fun, but I’m ready to go home.

To your nine children?

Yes, to my 50 kids.

My mom swears you’re a Mormon.

I’m just overpopulating the earth. I can’t imagine raising the kids in a city. I remember walking around Chicago or Boston or something and realizing that all the schools were totally inside, even the playgrounds. That’s weird. I just need to be out with the birds and the trees. And the monkeys.

I don’t understand how you do all this. You write.

You teach full-time. You do music. You build shit.

You have a family.

My wife and I have a very clear division of labor. She does all the in-house stuff. I do all the out-of-house stuff.

So I do all the shopping, oil changes, anything that involves driving anywhere, I do that. And she handles all the bills and the food preparation and that works out pretty well. I run the errands on the way home, and when I’m home I have no homework. I’ve also gotten pretty good at not bringing my ARC work home.

Halen in the book. She goes, “By the way, my boyfriend is David Lee Roth’s personal assistant.

If you want to get a book to him, I’ll give you his address.”

So right now David Lee Roth is reading The Animals?

He has a copy of The Animals. Who knows if he’s reading it. I know he’s a reader, but who knows. I hope my phone rings at any moment—“I gotta go, it’s Diamond Dave!”

What? Do you just send the letter to their agents or whatever?

Or sometimes you get an address. A lady that interviewed me about The Animals for The Nervous Breakdown…was asking me about Van SubmergeMag.com

King of the Chicago Blues!

Do you think of being a local journalist as a shitty time in your life?

I think of it as something I did wrong.

Why do you say that?

I was writing mostly about music and I am a musician, and I wrote about music as if Sacramento could handle it. I wrote about music in a very critical way. I was very hard. Not harsh, but hard to please. People like Jerry Perry would get on my case a bit about shooting fish in a barrel. And at the time I didn’t give it much credence but now I wonder if that argument isn’t right. Maybe I should have written about architecture or something else.

What about reviews for The Animals? Any bad reviews?

The thing about a bad review is even if they didn’t like the book, it takes eight hours to read a book, so even if they didn’t like it that means they spent a whole day with you. I still have to give them credit for doing that work. I’m really curious to see what The Animals does in the world because it’s so different for me.

When Tides was hauling ass it was going like 5 miles per hour. When this is hauling ass, it’s actually hauling ass. So I’m curious what the bad reviews are going to be.

You got amazing blurbs for The Animals. Whenever “That these guys—Richard Ford, Denis Johnson, T.C. I read that Richard Ford one that calls you a “rare Boyle, Pam Houston—I can’t young stylist” I picture believe any of them even talk you as a flamboyant to me at all. What’s in it for hairdresser.

I wrote him and said, “You them? Nothing. But I have know I’m 43, right?” and a relationship with all those he wrote back and said, guys that they’re willing to “Yeah, I’m 70.” That these Can you anticipate them? guys—Richard Ford, Denis Maybe that it’s obvious suffer my communications Johnson, T.C. Boyle, Pam or something. The setup and why I’m lucky enough to Houston—I can’t believe is pretty obvious—the be treated like that I have no any of them even talk bad guy is coming back idea.” to me at all. What’s in it and at some point they – Christian Kiefer, are going to start fighting. for them? Nothing. But I author of The Animals But I wanted it to have have a relationship with all those guys that they’re a sense of real narrative willing to suffer my communications and why I’m clarity because Tides doesn’t. And Kingdom of lucky enough to be treated like that I have no idea.

Wolves is just a total clusterfuck of plot.

That’s great.

I’m a mailer out of fan mail. I do that all the time.

I’m reading at Book Passage next month so I wrote a letter to George Lucas and just said, “If you wanna come, man …”

Presenting the best in music, dance and speakers

Is that how you’re going to market Kingdom of Wolves, as a giant clusterfuck?

I’m going to have Morgan Freeman say that. Every time you open the book, he’ll go, “A Stop by Time Tested clusterfuck of plot.”

Books in Sacramento Weird, man. You’re a weird dude.

Yes, I am. Yes, I am.

(1114 21st Street) as Christian Kiefer reads from The Animals on Thursday, April 2 at 7 p.m.

This is a free event.

Buddy Guy WED, APR 8 • 8PM Buddy Guy’s list of accomplishments is as profound as his signature guitar sound: Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inductee, a chief influence to rock titans like Jimi Hendrix, Eric Clapton, and Stevie Ray Vaughan, a pioneer of Chicago’s fabled West Side sound, and a living link to that city’s halcyon days of electric blues.

Max Raabe and Palast Orchester A Night in Berlin THU, APR 2 • 8PM Berlin’s famed crooner Max Raabe and his 12-piece Palast Orchester present their elegant collection of meticulously recreated German and American standards of the 1920s and ‘30s.

Bill Frisell and Joshua Light Show Guitar in the Space Age! FRI, APR 24 • 8PM

Frisell mines the catalog of guitar-based music from the ‘50s and ‘60s.

coming soon!

For tickets: mondaviarts.org Issue 184 • March 30 – April 13, 2015

21

music, comedy & misc. Calendar

march 30 – april 13 submergemag.com/calendar

3.30 Monday

The Blue Lamp Acoustic/ Spoken Mic, 8 p.m.

The Boxing Donkey Open Mic Variety Night, 8 p.m.

Capitol Garage Open Mic Night hosted by Musical Charis, 9 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Fox & Goose Open Mic Night, 7:30 p.m.

Goldfield Open Mic Night hosted by James Cavern, 9 p.m.

Harlow’s Pete Rock, Slum Village, Hanif, 8 p.m.

Harris Center for the Arts The Pink Floyd Experience: Four Sides of Floyd, 7 p.m.

Louie’s Cocktail Lounge Karaoke, 9 p.m.

LowBrau Motown on Monday’s w/ DJ Epik, 9 p.m.

Luna’s Cafe Nebraska Mondays hosted by Ross Hammond, 7:30 p.m.

Press Club King Woman, Pregnant, Casey Chisholm, 8 p.m.

Sleep Train Arena Garth Brooks, 7:30 p.m.

Starlite Lounge Weedeater, King Parrot, Badr Vogu, Cura Cochino, 8 p.m.

3.31 4.01 Tuesday

Wednesday

The Blue Lamp Hennessy, Dirk Dig, Zaylee Bussin, Masyah, Doetheunknown, Black Sky Ent, Yundee, 8 p.m.

The Boardwalk The Color Morale, Slaves, Vanna, Favorite Weapon, Sierra Skyline, 6:30 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Dive Bar Dank Ocean, 9 p.m.

Harlow’s Pete Rock, Slum Village, Hanif, 8 p.m.

Harris Center for the Arts The Pink Floyd Experience: Four Sides of Floyd, 7 p.m.

Kupros Craft House Open Mic, 9 p.m.

LowBrau Le Twist Tuesdays, 9 p.m.

Old Ironsides Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Pine Cove Open Mic Night, 9 p.m.

Press Club Auxes, White Murder, Crude Studs, Little Tents, 8 p.m.

Shine Open Jazz Jam hosted by Jason Galbraith, 8 p.m.

Sleep Train Arena Garth Brooks, 7:30 p.m.

Torch Club Beau Wilding, 5:30 p.m.; Blame the Bishop, 9 p.m.

Bar 101 Open Mic, 7:30 p.m.

The Blue Lamp Tanya Morgan, Corina Corina, Task1ne, Dre-T, DJ Halo, 8 p.m.

The Boardwalk Michael Schenker, Gundriver, Motorize, 7 p.m.

Club Car The Double Shots, 7:30 p.m.

The Davis Graduate The Brothers Comatose, The West Nile Ramblers, 9 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m.

District 30 Cazzette, 10 p.m.

El Dorado Saloon Open Mic Showcase hosted by Zac Rome, 7 p.m.

Fox & Goose Record Club British Pop Wednesdays w/ Roger Carpio, 8 p.m.

Harlow’s Yo Mama’s Big Fat Booty Band, The Good Samaritans, The Soul Shine Band, 7 p.m.

Laughs Unlimited Karaoke w/ KJ Gingerbread, 9 p.m.

Lockdown Brewing Co. Open Mic Night feat.

Andrew Castro, 7 p.m.

Mix DJ Gabe Xavier, DJ Peeti V, 9 p.m.

Nicholson’s MusiCafe Acoustic Open Mic, 6 p.m.

Old Ironsides Open Mic, 9 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Sumpin Diffrnt, Nylon Lyonn Band, 8 p.m.

Press Club Open Tables w/ Paul Gordon, 9 p.m.

Sacramento State: Serna Plaza Nooner w/ Jahny Wallz, 12 p.m.

Sleep Train Arena Garth Brooks, 7:30 p.m.

Torch Club Acoustic Open Mic, 5:30 p.m.; Ray “Catfish” Copeland, 9 p.m.

4.02 thursday

Ace of Spades IAMSU!, Rome Fortune, Dave Steezy, Show Banga, 7 p.m.

Bar 101 Karaoke, 7:30 p.m.

The Blue Lamp Light It Up Blue, The Hipsies, SpaceWalker, Delaney Rene, Paul Willis, 8 p.m.

Capitol Garage Karaoke w/ Jeff Jenkins, 10 p.m.

Club Car Songwriters Showcase, 8 p.m.

The Coffee Garden Open Mic Night, 8 p.m.

The Colony Lost In Lights, End the Fight, Rosedale, Support the Rabid, 7 p.m.

District 30 Kenneth G, Alexx Adams, 10 p.m.

Dive Bar Dueling Pianos, 9 p.m.

El Dorado Saloon DJ River, 9:30 p.m.

Fox & Goose Marty Cohen & the Sidekicks, 8 p.m.

Harlow’s Johnny A, 8 p.m.

The Hideaway Bar & Grill Trash Rock Thursdays 1 Year Anniversary Party w/ The Lower 48, 9 p.m.

Level Up Lounge Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Louie’s Cocktail Lounge Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Mix DJ Eddie Edul, DJ Peeti V, 9 p.m.

4.01 4.02

Tanya Morgan Corina Corina, Task1ne, Dre-T, DJ Halo The Blue Lamp 8 p.m.

22

Issue 184 • March 30 – April 13, 2015

Parlor Tricks Torch Club 9 p.m.

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

4.03

Tell the Wolves Clock Work Heroes, Once An Empire Old Ironsides 9 p.m.

Pine Cove Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Two Steps Down, 10 p.m.

The Stoney Inn The Buck Ford Pure Country Band, 9 p.m.

Torch Club Mind X Quartet, Parlor Tricks, 9 p.m.

UC Davis: Corin Courtyard The Afterlife, 6:30 p.m.

UC Davis: Jackson Hall Max Raabe and Palast Orchestra, 8 p.m.

4.03 Friday

Back 9 Bar & Grill Conceived In Chaos, Crum, Purge the Perfect, 7 p.m.

Bar 101 Yer Mom Rocks, 9:30 p.m.

Berryessa Brewing Co. Muddy Waders, 3 p.m.

The Blue Lamp Jackson Boone, Le Kelton, Calling Tempo, 6 p.m.; Free Up Fridays-Reggae w/ DJ Wokstar and Special Guests, 10 p.m.

The Boardwalk Dance Gavin Dance, Hail the Sun, Think Again, The Fourth Horseman, Mercedes Avenue, 6:30 p.m.

Cafe Colonial The Harbor, Coyote Bred, The Enlows, 8 p.m.

Capitol Garage Fyah Fridays w/ DJ Jaytwo, 10 p.m.

The Colony Komatose, Violent Party, Ssyndrom, TSA, Acrylics, 8 p.m.

District 30 DJ Oasis, 10 p.m.

El Dorado Saloon UnWound Country Band, 9:30 p.m.

Fox & Goose Sly Park, Delta City Ramblers, Jeremy Dawson, 9 p.m.

Golden Bear DJ Crook, 10 p.m.

Goldfield Toree McGee w/ Rodeo House, 9 p.m.

SubmergeMag.com

Harlow’s Wonderbread 5, 9 p.m.

Kupros Craft House Free Music Series w/ Musical Charis, 9 p.m.

Mix DJ Gabe Xavier, 9 p.m.

Nicholson’s MusiCafe Open Mic, 6 p.m.

Old Ironsides Tell the Wolves, Clock Work Heroes, Once An Empire, 9 p.m.

The Park Ultra Lounge DJ Five, 9 p.m.

Pine Cove Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Pour House Total Recall, 10 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Mojo Green, 10 p.m.

Press Club DJ Rue, 9 p.m.

Red Hawk Casino Tragically White, 4 p.m.; Patton Leatha, 9:30 p.m.

Shine Hans and the Hot Mess, Tony Glaser, Candy Lee, 8 p.m.

Sol Collective Sapient, DJ Jon & David Dalla G, E-TAGG, J Ross Parrelli, Brady Haze, 8 p.m.

Starlite Lounge Gator Nation, City of Trees Brass Band, 9 p.m.

Thunder Valley Casino Resort Apple Z, 9:30 p.m.

Torch Club Pailer & Fratis, 5:30 p.m.; Black Market III, 9 p.m.

4.04 Saturday

Back 9 Bar & Grill The Cutbacks, Rebel Radio, The O’Mulligans, Colour Zero, 7 p.m.

Bar 101 Fabulous FunkyBand, 9:30 p.m.

Berryessa Brewing Co. Home By Dark, 2 p.m.

The Blue Lamp SambaDa, 8 p.m.

4.04

Slow Magic GLSS UC Davis: The Quad 7 p.m.

The Boardwalk Dance Gavin Dance, Hail The Sun, Lonely Avenue, Madison Ave, Sages, 6:30 p.m.

Cafe Colonial Suburban Threat, DFMK, Clowns, Cold Feelings, 8 p.m.

Capitol Garage Feel Good Saturday’s w/ DJ Epik, 10 p.m.

The Colony Dead Weight, Outlined, The Institution, SWIM, Removed, 7 p.m.

District 30 Glowbal, 10 p.m.

El Dorado Saloon Branded, Remix, 9:30 p.m.

Fox & Goose Wanted Exotic, 9 p.m.

Goldfield The Golden Cadillacs, 9 p.m.

Harlow’s Kevin Russell’s Cream of Clapton, 5:30 p.m.; Saved by the ‘90s, 9:30 p.m.

Harrah’s Lake Tahoe The Wailers, 7:30 p.m.

The Hideaway Bar & Grill Sonic Love Affair, Lecherous Gaze, Wild Honey, 8 p.m.

KBAR Z Rokk, 9 p.m.

Kupros Craft House Free Music Series w/ Ice Age Quartet, 9 p.m.

Level Up Lounge Guest DJs, 9 p.m.

Mix DJ Eddie Edul, 9 p.m.

Nicholson’s MusiCafe Free Ukulele Class, 1 p.m.

Old Ironsides The Lipstick Weekender! w/ Shaun Slaughter & Roger Carpio, 9 p.m.

The Park Ultra Lounge DJ Peeti V, 9 p.m.

Pine Cove Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Pour House Denver J, 10 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Spazmatics, 10 p.m.

Press Club DJ Larry Rodriguez, 9 p.m.

Red Hawk Casino Rebel Yell, 10 p.m.

Shine No Where But Up, Basket House, Brianna Carmel, 8 p.m.

Swabbies on the River Mind X, Mr. December, 3 p.m.

Third Space Disappearing People, Mall Walk, Kaz Mirblouk, Night Children, 8 p.m.

Thunder Valley Casino Resort Patton Leatha, 9:30 p.m.

Torch Club The Orange Scene, 5:30 p.m.; The Dip, Ideateam, 9 p.m.

UC Davis: The Quad Slow Magic, GLSS, 7 p.m.

4.05 sunday

Berryessa Brewing Co. Crescent Katz, 3 p.m.

The Boardwalk D.R.I., Solanum, Yankee Brutal, Conceived in Chaos, Petty Education, 6:30 p.m.

Broderick Roadhouse Karaoke w/ DJ Jazcat, 9 p.m.

Capitol Garage Karaoke w/ Jeff Jenkins, 9 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 8 p.m.

Mix DJ Gabe Xavier, 8:30 p.m.

Press Club Sunday Night Soul Party w/ DJ Larry Rodriguez, 9 p.m.

Red Hawk Casino Buck Ford, 1 p.m.

Swabbies on the River Two Barrels Shy, 2 p.m.

Torch Club Blues Jam, 4 p.m.; Failure Machine, 8 p.m.

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continued on page 24

>>

Issue 184 • March 30 – April 13, 2015

23

4.06 Action Bronson The Alchemist Ace of Spades 7 p.m.

4.06

monday Ace of Spades Action Bronson, The Alchemist, 7 p.m.

The Blue Lamp Acoustic/ Spoken Open Mic, 8 p.m.

The Boxing Donkey Open Mic Variety Night, 8 p.m.

Capitol Garage Open Mic Night hosted by Musical Charis, 9 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Fox & Goose Open Mic Night, 7:30 p.m.

Goldfield Open Mic Night hosted by James Cavern, 9 p.m.

Louie’s Cocktail Lounge Karaoke, 9 p.m.

LowBrau Motown on Monday’s w/ DJ Epik, 9 p.m.

Luna’s Cafe Nebraska Mondays hosted by Ross Hammond, 7:30 p.m.

Press Club Heavy Glow, Sea Legs, MC Ham, Cosmic Wolf, 8 p.m.

4.07

Tuesday The Blue Lamp Masked Intruder, Success, Bastards of Young, The Moans, 8 p.m.

The Boardwalk 36 Crazyfists, Damage Over Time, Our Endless Obsession, Highway XII, The Stalking Distance, 6:30 p.m.

24

Issue 184 • March 30 – April 13, 2015

Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Dive Bar Billy Manzik, 9 p.m.

Kupros Craft House Open Mic, 9 p.m.

LowBrau Le Twist Tuesdays, 9 p.m.

Old Ironsides Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Pine Cove Open Mic Night, 9 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Rock On! Live Band Karaoke, 8 p.m.

Press Club Youth Cult Dance Party, 9 p.m.

Shine Open Jazz Jam hosted by Jason Galbraith, 8 p.m.

Torch Club The J’s, 5:30 p.m.; Michael Ray, 9 p.m.

4.08 wednesday

Bar 101 Open Mic, 7:30 p.m.

The Blue Lamp ReTreat feat. DJ’s Reason, 11:13, Mike Colossal, DJ R$harp, Pumatron, 9 p.m.

Club Car The Double Shots, 7:30 p.m.

The Colony The Left Hand, 10 Pole Drunk, Snuff Redux, Ballistic Burnout, 8 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Dive Bar Clouds Roll By feat. Harley White Jr., 9 p.m.

El Dorado Saloon Open Mic Showcase hosted by Zac Rome, 7 p.m.

Fox & Goose Record Club British Pop Wednesdays w/ Roger Carpio, 8 p.m.

Laughs Unlimited Rat Pack: A Live Tribute from Las Vegas!, 7 p.m.; Karaoke w/ KJ Gingerbread, 9 p.m.

Lockdown Brewing Co. Open Mic Night feat. Dave Pearce, 7 p.m.

Mix DJ Gabe Xavier, DJ Peeti V, 9 p.m.

Nicholson’s MusiCafe Acoustic Open Mic, 6 p.m.

Old Ironsides Open Mic, 9 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub WTF Wednesday’s, 9 p.m.

Press Club Witch Mountain, Peace Killers, Bog Oak, 8 p.m.

Sacramento State: Serna Plaza Nooner w/ Mr. Hooper, 12 p.m.

Torch Club Acoustic Open Mic, 5:30 p.m.; Keri Carr Band, 9 p.m.

UC Davis: Jackson Hall Buddy Guy, 8 p.m.

4.09 Thursday

Ace of Spades Apocalyptica, Zeroclient, Graveshadow, 7 p.m.

Bar 101 Karaoke, 7:30 p.m.

The Blue Lamp San Quinn, 8 p.m.

Capitol Garage Karaoke w/ Jeff Jenkins, 10 p.m.

Club Car Songwriters Showcase, 8 p.m.

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

The Coffee Garden Open Mic Night, 8 p.m.

Crocker Art Museum ArtMix “Sprung” feat. Arts & Leisure, Guest DJ’s, 5 p.m.

Dive Bar Dueling Pianos, 9 p.m.

El Dorado Saloon DJ River, 9:30 p.m.

Fox & Goose Steve McLane, 8 p.m.

The Hideaway Bar & Grill Trash Rock Thursdays, 9 p.m.

Kupros Craft House Spring Singer/Songwriter Series feat. David Atencio, Juliet Gobert, Jackson Griffith, JD Valerio, 8:30 p.m.

Level Up Lounge Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Louie’s Cocktail Lounge Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Midtown BarFly Stilldreamin w/ DJ Dragonfly, Druffrey, Krakinov, Gamma, Opal Dusk, 10 p.m.

Mix DJ Eddie Edul, DJ Peeti V, 9 p.m.

Old Ironsides Who & The What Now, O.C.D., 9 p.m.

Pine Cove Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Sweet Revenge, 10 p.m.

Press Club The Kelps, Cherch, Slattern V, Tree Village, 8 p.m.

Sacramento State: University Union Ballroom Sage the Gemini, Marc E. Bassy, Sleeprockers, 7:30 p.m.

Shine Mat Marucci Quartet, 8 p.m.

Starlite Lounge This Green City w/ DJ Dire DeLorean, DJ Chat Noir, 9 p.m.

Torch Club Mind X Quartet, 5 p.m.; Twenty Fourth St. Wailers, 9 p.m.

4.10 FRIDAY

Ace of Spades Anuhea, Finn, Luisa Lavulo, 7 p.m.

Bar 101 In the No, 9:30 p.m.

Berryessa Brewing Co. Phantom Rhythm Band, 5 p.m.

The Blue Lamp Rappin E (Release Party), Spazzy Davis Jr., Dylan Phillip, Qu’Dawg, Triple RRR and More, 6 p.m.; Free Up Fridays-Reggae w/ DJ Wokstar and Special Guests, 10 p.m.

The Boardwalk Emerald City, Glug, Less Than Zero, 7 p.m.

Capitol Garage Fyah Fridays w/ DJ Jaytwo, 10 p.m.

The Colony Lucid, Are they Brothers, Greasehound, Gamblers Fallacy, 8 p.m.

District 30 Julian Pierce, 10 p.m.

El Dorado Saloon DJ ZR, 9:30 p.m.

Fox & Goose Big Sticky Mess, Boca Do Rio, 9 p.m.

Golden Bear DJ Crook, 10 p.m.

Goldfield Terry Sheets Band, 9 p.m.

Harlow’s Fleetwood Mask, 5:30 p.m.

Harris Center for the Arts Lukas Nelson and Promise of the Real, Chris Cain, 8 p.m.

The Hideaway Bar & Grill Sir Coyler & His Asthmatic Band, 9 p.m.

Kupros Craft House Free Music Series w/ Sea Legs, 9 p.m.

Main Stage Theater (Grass Valley) Beautiful Dudes, Lost Lander, Little Zebra, 8 p.m.

Mix DJ Gabe Xavier, 9 p.m.

Nicholson’s MusiCafe Open Mic, 6 p.m.

Old Ironsides Grub Dog & The Amazing Sweethearts, The Nickel Slots, Whiskey & Stitches, The Tattooed Love Dogs, 8:30 p.m.

Pine Cove Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Pour House Current Personae, 10 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub WonderBread 5, 10 p.m.

Press Club DJ Rue, 9 p.m.

Red Hawk Casino Donnie & the Wayrads, 4 p.m.; Audioboxx, 9:30 p.m.

Shine Oh! the Band, Rich Corporation, 8 p.m.

Starlite Lounge In the Silence, Discordia (EP Release), Salythia, Decipher, 8 p.m.

Thunder Valley Casino Resort The Fab Four (Beatles tribute), 7:30 p.m.; Cover Me Badd, 9:30 p.m.

Torch Club Pailer & Fratis, 5:30 p.m.; Big Earl & the Cryin Shame, 9 p.m.

UC Davis: Jackson Hall HellaCappella, 7:30 p.m.

4.11 Saturday

Ace of Spades The Maine, Real Friends, Knuckle Puck, The Technicolors, 6 p.m.

Back 9 Bar & Grill Jonah Matranga (of Far), Screwloose, Theory Of Our Kind, White Minorities, 7 p.m.

Bar 101 Vagabond Brothers, 9:30 p.m.

Berryessa Brewing Co. Saints of Circumstance, 3 p.m.

The Blue Lamp Record Club Presents: Radio Radio ‘80s Dance Night, 9 p.m.

The Boardwalk Rappin 4 Tay, DJ Eddie Z, hosted by Mickey Tiltz, 7 p.m.

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continued on page 26

4.10

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25

4.11

4.12

Vagabond King Woman Pregnant, Casey Chisholm Brothers Press Bar 101Club 9:308 p.m.

1/2 Industry nI g ht off Thursdays

eveRyThing 10pm To FRom The 12am

bar!

Cache Creek Casino Choi Jin Hee, 8 p.m.

Capitol Garage Feel Good Saturday’s w/ DJ Epik, 10 p.m.

El Dorado Saloon Superbad, 9 p.m.

Fox & Goose The Joshua Cambridge Experience, 9 p.m.

Goldfield Chad Bushnell, 9 p.m.

Harris Center for the Arts Slavic Chorale, 7 p.m.

KBAR Z Rokk, 9 p.m.

Kupros Craft House Free Music Series w/ Sacramento Playboys, 9 p.m.

Level Up Lounge Guest DJs, 9 p.m.

Lockdown Brewing Co. Amboy Rambler, 8 p.m.

Midtown BarFly Christian Martin, Tony Futique, Cue22, Cosmo Coyote, 10 p.m.

Mix DJ Eddie Edul, 9 p.m.

Nicholson’s MusiCafe Free Ukulele Class, 1 p.m.; Fred Wilson “The Balladier,” 6 p.m.

Old Ironsides Phantom Jets, Punch Out, Blame the Bishop, 9 p.m.

Pine Cove Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Casey veggies The Boardwalk 7 p.m.

Pour House Thunder Cover, 10 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Petty Theft, 10 p.m.

Press Club Human Body, Strange Wilds, Love Moon, 5:30 p.m.; DJ Larry Rodriguez, 9 p.m.

Red Hawk Casino Audioboxx, 10 p.m.

Shine Gentleman Surfer, Alto, San Kazakgascar, 8 p.m.

Starlite Lounge Longview (Green Day tribute), The Foresocks (Red Hot Chili Peppers tribute), Revolver (Rage Against the Machine tribute), 9 p.m.

Swabbies on the River Nothin’ Personal, 3 p.m.

Thunder Valley Casino Resort Disco Revolution, 9:30 p.m.

Torch Club Jenn Rogar, 5:30 p.m.; Shari Puorto, 9 p.m.

4.12 Sunday

Ace of Spades George Ezra, 7 p.m.

Bar 101 Rich Krieger, 2 p.m.

Berryessa Brewing Co. The Afterlife, 3 p.m.

The Blue Lamp Flub, The Last of Lucy, The Kennedy Veil, Incisus, Wrath of Tides, 8 p.m.

The Boardwalk Casey Veggies, 7 p.m.

Broderick Roadhouse Karaoke w/ DJ Jazcat, 9 p.m.

Cache Creek Casino Grupo Dubai, 5 p.m.

Cafe Colonial The Animal In Me, Bloodpig, Mad Judy, Nothing Less, Taylor Fields, 7 p.m.

Capitol Garage Karaoke w/ Jeff Jenkins, 9 p.m.

Crocker Art Museum Classical Concert: Carrie Hennessey, 3 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 8 p.m.

Harlow’s Black Milk, 8 p.m.

Lockdown Brewing Co. Acoustic Jam, 1 p.m.

Mix DJ Gabe Xavier, 8:30 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Shana Morrison, 3 p.m.

Press Club Sunday Night Soul Party w/ DJ Larry Rodriguez, 9 p.m.

Red Hawk Casino Kenny Frye, 1 p.m.

Swabbies on the River Steel Rose, 3 p.m.

read often. your brain will thank you.

Facebook.com/SacRabbit

26

Issue 184 • March 30 – April 13, 2015

4.13 Monday

Ace of Spades Blue October, 7 p.m.

The Blue Lamp Acoustic/ Spoken Open Mic, 8 p.m.

The Boxing Donkey Open Mic Variety Night, 8 p.m.

Cafe Colonial The Left Hand, The Skrokers, 6 p.m.

Capitol Garage Open Mic Night hosted by Musical Charis, 9 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Fox & Goose Open Mic Night, 7:30 p.m.

Goldfield Open Mic Night hosted by James Cavern, 9 p.m.

Harlow’s The Golden State: Lone Star Revue, Charlie Baty, Mark Hummel, 6:30 p.m.

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Thunder Valley Casino Resort Amanda Lee, Joe Tay, 6:30 p.m.

Torch Club Blues Jam, 4 p.m.; Front the Band, 8 p.m.

UC Davis: Jackson Hall Quixotic, 3 p.m.

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4.11

4.07

Sacramento Ball Sack and Beer Fest Wake Island Watersports 12 p.m.

Emma Haney Johnny Taylor, Daniel Humbarger, Alfonso Portela Punchline Comedy Club 7 p.m.

Harris Center for the Arts Bruce Hornsby, 8 p.m.

(Sold Out) Louie’s Cocktail Lounge Karaoke, 9 p.m.

LowBrau Motown on Monday’s w/ DJ Epik, 9 p.m.

Luna’s Cafe Nebraska Mondays hosted by Ross Hammond, 7:30 p.m.

Press Club Bubble Butt Dance Party, 9 p.m.

Comedy

Laughs Unlimited Fundraiser for East Nicolaus High School Honor Roll Senior Project feat.

Kristen Frisk, Sam Bruno, Gwen Pol, Michael Calvin Jr., Cheryl “the Soccer Mom” Anderson, hosted

by Chadd Beals, April 1, 7 p.m.

Hailey Boyle, Skip Clark, April 3 - 5, Fri. & Sat., 8 p.m. & 10:30 p.m.; Sun., 7 p.m.

Open Mic Showcase hosted

by Cheryl “the Soccer Mom” Anderson, April 7, 8 p.m.

Kermet Apio, Stephen Furey, April 10 - 12, Fri. & Sat., 8 p.m. & 10:30 p.m.; Sun., 7 p.m.

Luna’s Cafe Open Mic Comedy, every Tuesday, 7:30 p.m.

Miners Foundry Cultural Center Tig Notaro and Special Guests, April 4, 6 p.m.

Punchline Comedy Club Mick Foley, March 31, 8 p.m.

New Faces Showcase, April 1, 8 p.m.

Kabir Singh, Kevin Camia, Dash Kwiatkowski, DJ Sandhu, Kristee Ono, April 2 - 4, Thurs., 8 p.m.; Fri. & Sat., 8 p.m. & 10 p.m.

SubmergeMag.com

Paul Mitchell FUNRaising 2015 Campaign Show feat. Johnny Taylor, Emma Haney, Daniel Humbarger, Alfonso Portela, April 7, 7 p.m.

Seaton Smith, Sean Keane, Nicole Calasich, April 9 - 12, Thurs., 8 p.m.; Fri. & Sat., 8 p.m. & 10 p.m.; Sun., 7 p.m.

Sacramento Comedy Spot Open Mic, Sunday’s and Monday’s, 8 p.m.

Cage Match, Tuesday’s, 9 p.m.

Improv Lab, Harold Night & Gordon Teams, Wednesday’s, 7 - 10 p.m.

Gag Order & Improv Jam, Thursday’s, 8 - 10 p.m.

Top 10 Podcast, Friday’s, 7 p.m.

Anti-Cooperation League, Saturday’s, 9 p.m.

Sacramento State: University Union Ballroom Free Comedy Show: Trevor Moore (of The Whitest Kids U’Know), April 2, 7:30 p.m.

Thunder Valley Casino Resort Jo Koy, April 3, 7:30 p.m.

Tommy T’s Robert Powell, April 2 - 5, Thurs. & Sun., 7:30 p.m.; Fri. & Sat. 7:30 & 9:45 p.m.

Mark Viera, April 9 - 12, Thurs. & Sun., 7:30 p.m.; Fri. & Sat. 7:30 & 9:45 p.m.

Misc.

20th Street (Between J and K) Midtown Farmers Market, every Saturday, 8 a.m.

24th Street Theatre Willy Wonka, through April 4 The Unsinkable Molly Brown w/ Live Orchestra!, through April 5

Axis Gallery Under the Influence: Paintings and Prints by Sandra Beard, April 3 - 26 B Street Theatre Oblivion by Carly Mensch (writer of hit TV show Weeds), through April 19 Buyer and Cellar by Jonathan Tolins, April 7 May 9 Big Idea Theatre 33 Variations by Moises Kaufman, through April 11 Blue Cue Bar Bingo, Wednesday’s, 9 p.m.

The Blue Lamp Naughty Trivia!, every Wednesday, 8 p.m.

The Boxing Donkey Trivia Night, every Tuesday, 8 p.m.

Brickhouse Gallery The Art of Nicholas M. Taylor, April 4 - 30 Capital Dime Wind Youth Services Presents: Spring Fresh 2015 feat. Food, Charity, Live Music, Live Art Performance and More, April 11, 6 p.m.

Capitol Garage Geeks Who Drink Trivia Night, Wednesday’s, 9 p.m.

Capital Stage Rapture, Blister, Burn by Gina Gionfriddo, through April 12 Chautauqua Playhouse Proof by David Auburn, through April 19 Contemporary Dance Conservatory Musicians and Dancers Pay Tribute to Matisse, April 11, 7:30 p.m.

Crocker Art Museum Toulouse-Lautrec and La Vie Moderne: Paris 1880– 1910, through - Apr. 26 ArtMix “Sprung” feat.

Live Music, Guest DJ’s, Beach-Inspired Art-Making Stations, Urban Gardening Tips & More!, April 9, 5 p.m.

Elliott Fouts Gallery New Works by Kathrine Lemke Waste & Tim White, April 4 - May 7

Fox & Goose Pub Quiz, Tuesday’s, 7 p.m.

Harris Center for the Arts Million Dollar Quartet, April 2 - 4 Historic Old Folsom Farmers’ Market, Saturdays, 8 a.m.

John Natsoulas Gallery Philippe Gandiol Solo Exhibition, through April 11 Luna’s Cafe Poetry Unplugged, every Thursday, 8 p.m.

Midtown BarFly Salsa Lessons, every Wednesday, 8 p.m.

Pine Cove Trivia Night, Wednesday’s, 9 p.m.

Pocket-Greenhaven Library Poetry & Music Night, April 11, 6:30 p.m.

Press Club Flex Your Head Trivia, Tuesday’s, 8 p.m.

Punchline Sarah Colonna: Has Anyone Seen My Pants? Book Tour, April 8, 8 p.m.

Sacramento Ballet Studios Inside the Director’s Studio: Connecting Generations, April 10, 6 p.m.

Sacramento Theatre Company The Whipping Man directed by Buddy Butler, through May 3 Sacramento Turn Verein Bockbierfest 2015, April 10 - 11 Sleep Train Arena Varekai

by Cirque Du Soleil, April 9 - 12 Soil Born Farms American River Ranch “Preserving the Spring Harvest” Class w/ Janet McDonald of The Good Stuff, April 8, 5:30 p.m.

UC Davis Mondavi Center Jackson Hall Quixotic, April 12, 3 p.m.

Wake Island Watersports Sacramento Ball Sack and Beer Fest, April 11, 12 p.m.

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Issue 184 • March 30 – April 13, 2015

27

28

Issue 184 • March 30 – April 13, 2015

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

The grindhouse

SHOWS AT SAC STATE

SPONSORED BY UNIQUE PROGRAMS FOR MORE INFO VISIT OUR WEBSITE OR CALL 278–6997

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Get Bent get hard Rated R Words Jacob Sprecher They don’t come any bigger than Will Ferrell and Kevin Hart.

Not in the world of comedy, at least. Consider their differences and similarities for a moment: Ferrell is a veteran, a seemingly timeless giant with now 20 years of runaway success from television to the box office. Hart is a relative newcomer to stardom, but his career is literally on fire, rising like a phoenix from Arizona. Ferrell is white. Hart is black. Both are loud, both are physical. Both have cross-cultural appeal. So, despite it being overkill, you can see, at least from the point of gross potential, why previews for the pair’s first buddy comedy, Get Hard, have been crammed down your throat like a bottle of Ipecac for the past two months.

The premise is stupid: Ferrell plays James Baldwin, a filthy rich stock broker who's just made partner. Out of nowhere he’s arrested on charges of embezzlement. The judge then decides to throw the book at him with a sentence of 10 years in San Quentin, aka a maximum security prison. With 30 days to get his personal affairs in order (?), James ultimately seeks the help of Darnell (Hart), who runs a carwash business from the parking garage of the firm James works for. Despite being a family man with no criminal record, Darnell dupes James into thinking he’s an ex-con, who will therefore be able to properly prepare him for the trials and tribulations of prison. This, of course, provided James pays him $30,000 to cover the down payment for a new house, which will ensure his young daughter gets into a better school district.

What follows is 90 or so minutes of I’m white, you’re black; I’m rich, you’re poor; and isn’t it funny how different we are?

To be sure, there are laughs. Ferrell and Hart are simply too naturally gifted and charismatic not to make you chuckle and guffaw. In some misguided way, the film is a testament to their individual comedic ability. Because if you inserted, say, Kevin James and Chris Tucker into this same stale formula? Dear God. SubmergeMag.com

Get Hard is simply stuck in a bygone era. For example, there’s a point where Ferrell has been accepted as a member of a gang in Crenshaw, and is in turn teaching the young toughs the ins and outs of white-collar moneymaking. Isn’t it funny to hear two 40-drinking, jive-talking black men argue vehemently over taxable income as opposed to drugs and hoes? Get it?

Because black people never speak intelligently about things like taxes!

Umm, no, actually, it’s not. Aside from the obvious fact that it’s racially absurd, it’s also just plain not funny. That bit was lame 15 years ago in Me, Myself and Irene. The same goes for pathetic jabs at white culture, which leave Ferrell confused about things like hip-hop and wondering if he should go back into the house to grab the “gin and juice.”

And as if running tired white-men-can’t-dance bits into the ground wasn’t enough, Get Hard is also homophobic. When I mentioned before that Hart’s role in the film was to prepare Ferrell for the hardships of prison life, I should have been more specific. His role, emphatically emphasized, is to keep Ferrell’s character from being raped in prison. Honest to God that’s the central theme of the plot; to keep Ferrell from being a “bitch.” There is a scene—I shit you not—where Hart becomes so exasperated by Ferrell’s apparent lack of toughness, that it’s decided he should just learn to “suck dick.” So they go to a trendy gay brunch restaurant and Hart picks a man out of the crowd for Ferrell to take into the bathroom stall and blow, which he does, unsuccessfully. I wish for the sake of the reader that I could adequately describe the uncomfortableness of that scene’s entirety, but it’s really not possible. The humor is so embarrassingly immature and dated that you simply have to see it for yourself.

I’m pleasantly surprised, however, to find Get Hard taking heat for these infractions on a national level. Moments of levity aside, it deserves to be mocked and criticized for the ‘90s relic that it is, a sad and tired homage to the likes of Rush Hour. Hopefully both Ferrell and Hart get the point, because they’re both far better than this worn-out reel of garbage would otherwise suggest.

The Gemini

THUR • APR 9 • 7:30P • UNIVERSITY UNION BALLROOM SAGE THE GEMINI, hip hop concert, plus special opening guests MARC E. BASSY and SLEEPROCKERS. Tickets are $18 for Sac State students and $25 for the general public.

Tickets available at SacStateUNIQUE.com DANCING

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WED • APR 22 • 12P • UNIVERSITY UNION SERNA PLAZA

FREE: Salsa dance lessons plus live concert featuring Grammy Award winners PACIFIC MAMBO ORCHESTRA

FREE: reggae hip hop concert

Issue 184 • March 30 – April 13, 2015

29

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Issue 184 • March 30 – April 13, 2015

Religious freedom. Hey, it’s awesome. It’s one of the tenets that this country was founded on. I think most of us would agree, no matter where we fell on the spiritual spectrum, that it’s best for our society if freedom of religion was upheld.

You’re free to worship whatever, or however you please. I guess so long as the only way to appease your god or goddess isn’t by sacrificing live human babies on a ceremonial pyre. Or refusing to pay your taxes. The latter is probably a far more serious offense. You worship the Christian God? That’s great (around these parts it’s probably preferable), Happy Easter! You’re Jewish? Shalom, brother! Muslim?

Um… Oh, just kidding! That’s fine, too. Wiccan/ polytheistic/whathaveyou? Go on with your nature-loving self! Atheistic? Hey, Festivus is for the rest of us. No shame in your anti-god game.

America takes all kinds, you know? We’re all just a mish-mosh of different whatevers, and that’s sweet, bro. We don’t really have to like one another, but we’ve got little other choice than to tolerate one another. So when a state like Indiana passes a law called the Religious Freedom Restoration Act (RFRA), you’re like, OK, sweet. I like religious freedom. But then you’re all, wait, did we lose our religious freedom? Is that why it needs to be restored?

Last time I checked, that’s why you’d need to “restore” something. Maybe I’m just harping on semantics, but you can’t restore something you already have. You can “reinforce,” but that’s really not the same thing. And it certainly doesn’t seem like something you would need to pass a law to do. You could simply post a memo at the post office stating, “Hey, your religious freedom? It’s still there,” and accomplish the same thing at a lesser burden on the taxpayers.

So, like, maybe those who drafted the RFRA had something else in mind. Like, perhaps, it was passed in order to make it OK to discriminate against LGBT members of the community.

It’s silly, right? To think that legalized discrimination could exist in this day and age in America… That’s ridiculous. We’ve moved way past that. But lo and behold, all these yahoos on the Internet are hemming and hawing about how the RFRA lays the groundwork to allow businesses/institutions to do just that. Where would they get this ridiculous idea?

The “misunderstanding” probably arose from statements made by Eric Miller, a supporter of the bill, who wrote on Advanceamerica.com, “[RFRA] will help protect individuals, Christian businesses and churches from those supporting homosexual marriages and those supporting government recognition and approval of gender identity (male cross-

dressers).” (The bolded text in the previous quote was Miller’s own, but I thought I would leave it as-is for ambiance.)

Um… Wait. This has got to be a simple matter of miscommunication. You know what, I’d bet Indiana’s Governor Mike Pence could clear this all up. He appeared on ABC’s This Week with George Stephanopoulos this past weekend to do just that. Stephanopoulos’ first question to Pence was whether or not, given the criticism, controversy and now loss of business that Indiana has faced in light of this law, passing the RFRA was a mistake.

Pence’s answer was a definitive “no.” It was one of only two definitive answers the governor gave the entire interview.

The main issue is that gays and lesbians are not a protected class under Indiana’s state discrimination laws. If they were made so, it would be a simple fix to silence those who oppose the RFRA. However, when Stephanopoulos asked Pence if he’d push for that, the governor gave his second definitive nuh-uh.

Instead of setting his critics at ease, Pence put on his dodging shoes and expertly played the blame game. He lambasted the Internet and the media for its “shameful rhetoric” regarding the law, reiterated that the RFRA was about religious freedom (because, duh) and added that tolerance was a two-way street. So really, if you’re not tolerating someone else’s intolerance, you’re just being an intolerant asshole like the intolerant asshole you’re being intolerant of.

Shame on you.

As the interview came to a close— presumably because Pence’s evasion tactics had him near exhaustion—Stephanopoulos posed one final question to the governor, asking if he believed it should be legal for businesses to discriminate against customers based on their sexual orientation. I’d quote Pence’s answer, but he didn’t really give one.

I’m speculating, but it was either because he wanted to say “yes” and didn’t want to alienate the more moderate members of his constituency, or because he wanted to say “no” and was afraid that the far-right members of his party would castrate him for thinking homosexuals are people too. Either way, it’s pretty disgusting.

I’m all for religion—seriously I am—but I’m sick of people using it as their excuse for being total dicks. I know what you’re going to say: It’s nothing new. People have been abusing religion since dinosaur times (roughly). Why should we be any different? I’d say it’s because this is America, right? Aren’t we supposed to be better?

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Issue 184 • March 30 – April 13, 2015

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Dive into Sacramento & its Surrounding Areas march 30 – April 13, 2015

#184

Christian Kiefer A Busy Mind Do 4/20 Right at

Fyah on the Water

Pre-Flite Lounge Jason yee Relaunches a Legend

Ross Hammond Go With the Flow Wicked 'Wich

lights Rediscovering Inspiration

Concerts in the Park

Lineup Revealed!

Gets an Immobile Home

Laurelin Gilmore What Dreams May Come

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