Submerge Magazine: Issue 231 (January 16 - January 30, 2017)

Dive into Sacramento & its Surrounding Areas january 16 – 30, 2017

# 231

Jordan Rock Sink or Swim The Art of Beer Invitational

The Best in the West

Black Violin The Power to Unify Experience

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Issue 231 • January 16 – January 30, 2017

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

Be LocaL, Buy LocaL custom JeweLry, repair & artisan Gifts

Located Above

All created within the Sacramento region

West Sacramento L i v e M u s i c | F u L L B a r | s pa c i o u s pa t i o

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(916)572-0909 Station1WestSac.com Facebook.com/station1westsac SubmergeMag.com

Issue 231 • January 16 – January 30, 2017

3

S I W O N S R OU

C I N A G R O 100% D

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Ash Borer | VrTrA Minenwerfer thurs. jan. 26

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adult variety show returns to midtown!

The Kennedy Veil fluB The odious ConsTruCT CyBorg oCTopus

thurs. jan. 19

fri. jan. 27

wed. jan. 18

7pm

dArling CleMenTines

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enToMBed Ad full of hell | lArVAe TurBid norTh

Black Arm Band dirtsong > FEB 8 • 8PM

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fri. jan. 20

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TriBuTe To leonArd Cohen

the famous blue raincoats davis houston | the rippers grave lake | eugene ugly wayne jetski | bad outlets

sat. jan. 21

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every mOnDay 8 pm | free

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sat. jan. 28

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Issue 231 • January 16 – January 30, 2017

A multimedia journey through Australia’s cultural heartland. mondaviarts.org Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

1630 J Street Sacramento (916) 476-5076

Now serving Flakos Takos!

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Thursday February 23 7pm | $18 | 21+

uli Jon roth

Cross atlantic

Taco

(Scorpions)

and special guest hannah Jane Kile

The Tokyo Tapes revisited Tour Wednesday March 8 7pm | $13 | all ages

Saturday January 28 7pm | $12 | all ages

siriusxm outlaw country & ones to watch presents

adelitas way

whiskey Myers

all beerS

all day long

and special guest Control

open Mic

Friday March 17 | 21+

Sunday January 29 7:30pm | $10 | all ages

St. Patrick’s day:

demun Jones

The Cadillac Three

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after Party!

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showing nFl, nBa, nhl,

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SubmergeMag.com

Friday, March 3

red fang

Sunday, April 9

Carter winter

Sizzling SaddleS BurleSque Show

Wednesday, May 10

Cash’d out

(Johnny cash tribute)

playoffs and uFC PPV Fights For Free

Issue 231 • January 16 – January 30, 2017

5

coMinG to GraSS Valley GeT TickeTs NOW! Saturday, January 21

Sunday, January 29

friday, february 3

with music in the mountains youth orchestra

JESSE COOK

The MidTown Men

4 Stars from the original cast VeteranS MeMorial auditoriuM of broadway’s Jersey boys 255 S. auBurn St, GraSS valley

VeteranS MeMorial auditoriuM 255 S. auBurn St, GraSS valley $42 members, $47 general public

$47 members, $52 general public

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opening: Dead Horses

hot tuna (acoustic)

$27 members, $30 general public

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adults: $22 members, $25 general public students: $17 members, $19 general public

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Saturday, March 11

tueSday, March 14

tueSday, March 21

Saturday, March 25

altan

donavon frankenreiter

the Garcia Project

WedneSday, february 15

elephant revival

Monday, february 20

achilles Wheel

birds of chicago

Performing classic Jerry Garcia Band shows from the ‘70s, ‘80s and ‘90s

a Special St. Patrick’s Day Dance Party

opening: Grant lee Phillips

w/ Keith Greeninger and Joe craven

$20 members, $24 general public

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530.274.8384 • 314 W. Main St, GraSS Valley all shows at our intimate Main StaGe theater unless otherwise noted

B e co m e a m e m B e r & Sav e

For a complete listing of events visit:

thecenterfortheartS.orG 6

Issue 231 • January 16 – January 30, 2017

*Ticket prices do not include applicable fees

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

dive in

231 2017 Submerge: an independently owned entertainment/lifestyle publication available for free biweekly throughout the greater Sacramento area.

my january "challenge"

january 16 – 30 cofounder/ Editor in Chief/ Art Director

Melissa Welliver melissa@ submergemag.com cofounder/ Advertising Director

Jonathan Carabba jonathan@ submergemag.com

18

senior editor

James Barone Assistant Editor

Daniel Taylor

24

Contributing Writers

Ellen Baker, Robin Bacior, Robert A. Berry II, Bocephus Chigger, Ronnie Cline, Justin Cox, Alia Cruz, Josh Fernandez, Andy Garcia, Blake Gillespie, Lovelle Harris, Mollie Hawkins, Eddie Jorgensen, Niki Kangas, Nur Kausar, John Phillips, Ryan Prado, Andrew C. Russell, Estefany Salas, Andrew Scoggins, Amy Serna, Jacob Sprecher, Richard St.Ofle, Haley Teichert Contributing photographers

22

Wesley Davis, Evan E. Duran, Kevin Fiscus, Dillon Flowers, Phill Mamula, Jason Sinn

Submerge

1009 22nd Street, Suite 3 Sacramento, California 95816

916.441.3803 info@ submergemag.com

20 07

Dive in

18

08

The Stream

20 ryan seng

09

The Optimistic Pessimist

10 patriots day THE GRINDHOUSE

12 14

outside the 9-to-5

winter driving Submerge your senses

SubmergeMag.com

black violin

22

jordan rock

24

be brave bold robot

26

calendar

30

the shallow end

All content is property of Submerge and may not be reproduced without permission. Submerge is both owned and published

by Submerge Media. All opinions expressed throughout Submerge are those of the author and do not necessarily mean we all share those opinions. Feel free to take a copy or two for free, but please don’t remove our papers or throw them away. Submerge welcomes letters of all kinds, whether they are full of love or hate. We want to know what is on your mind, so feel free to contact us via snail mail at 1009 22nd Street, Suite 3 Sacramento, California 95816.

Or you can email us at info@submergemag.com.

Submergemag.com Follow us on Twitter & Instagram! @SubmergeMag printed on recycled paper

Front Cover photo of ryan seng by kevin fiscus back Cover photo of black violin

by Colin Brennan

For the Creatives A R T

S H OW :

XACK LEARD TRAV COGNESCRE WHERE ST. X UNFTNT Friday, JAN. 20: 1- 4 pm Saturday, JAN. 21: 4-10 pm Sunday, JAN. 22: 2- 6 pm

Melissa welliver melissa@submergemag.com Back at it again with another issue full of great content. Read up!

One could say (sarcastically) that I didn’t know if another issue would come out because of my New Year’s resolution. I mean, who knew you could eat 0–5 grams of sugar a day and still function? So, a little bit about my resolution: it’s to eat better in 2017. Nothing special, I know. But really I’m stepping it up a little further for the month of January and making an attempt at a ketogenic diet. Now I despise the word “diet,” so let’s just chalk this one up to a ketogenic challenge.

To sum keto up, it’s all about taking in an extremely low amount of carbs, as well as no sugar, but with a high amount of fat. I guess one could compare it to Atkins or Paleo, but it is just slightly different in some of the foods you can eat, like butter and cheese.

Anyway, I have a friend who’s been doing it, she’s pretty inspiring with her recipes and results, so I thought I’d give it the old college try.

(Note: My favorite things in the world are bread, pasta and beer. I knew this would be a major feat if I could even get to two weeks. I’m happy to report that I made it to that milestone!)

Let me tell you the first week was extremely challenging. There was a lot of looking at labels, and realizing that good god there is so much sugar and a shit ton of carbs in everything.

There were a lot of trips to the grocery store. And then there was a lot of making things from scratch.

I’d like to apologize to my favorite bars and restaurants, I hope you don’t go out of business because of the loss of my frequent visits. Don’t worry, I’m just giving it a go for a while. But I’m not crazy. For example, the upcoming Art of Beer event is one thing that I’m giving myself a pass on. What’s this Art of Beer event all about, you ask? Well check out page 14 and read up.

Whether I stay with this diet after January or not, I’ve already discovered a ton of healthy recipes that I love. I have gotten extremely comfortable in the kitchen, cooking and baking (yes, you can “bake” on a low-carb diet), all while having fun!

Whatever challenge or resolution you made in 2017, keep it up! And if you’re disciplined enough, I say life is short, give yourself a cheat day once in a while.

Please enjoy issue 231.

-Melissa

Curated by: Juicy Jackie

Sol Collective | 2574 21st St. | Sacramento

Issue 231 • January 16 – January 30, 2017

7

1910 Q Street Sacramento, CA Special Events on Fridays and Saturdays!

Check our Website for Details • Highwatersacramento.com

The stream Sacramento City Council Votes Unanimously to Fund Local Arts/Food/ Tech Projects to the Tune of $500K

only tHe good stuff Wednesdays

Jonathan Carabba

Send regional news tips to info@submergemag.com

10pm2am 21+

no coveR

Hip Hop / R&B

1st and 3rd thursdays

M o d er n Lo v e

dark Wave / Post Punk / syn th PoP 10PM-2aM | 21+ • No Cover

1st Fridays

10pm-2am • 21+ • no cover

Total Recall ‘90s party hits

2nd Fridays

10pm-2am • 21+• no cover

NO CHILL Party Hits N’ RAP SHITS

DJ EPIK & DJ WHORES

1st

and

3rd

salty saturdays Joseph oNe and Guests

hip hop / r&B / daNce party ViBes

8

Issue 231 • January 16 – January 30, 2017

10pm2am 21+ No coVer

Less than a month after taking office, Sacramento’s new mayor Darrell Steinberg is showing how much he believes in the power of the arts to help strengthen the region by putting some money where his mouth is. At the city council meeting on Tuesday, Jan. 10, dozens of local activists, artists, restaurateurs and entrepreneurs were on hand to voice their support for the “Creative Economy Pilot Project and Implementation,” which passed unanimously with a 9-0 vote. The initiative will pump $500,000 dollars worth of seed money into future experimental arts, food and tech projects around Sacramento, with the first allotment of $25,000 going toward the upcoming ArtStreet project, a massive, multidisciplinary exhibit that will run from Feb. 3–25 in a warehouse in downtown Sacramento. The seed money will come from the city’s Innovation and Growth Fund launched by former mayor, Kevin Johnson and will not impact the general fund.

Steinberg addressed the audience at the city council meeting to talk about his hopes for the program, stating that, in part, it’s intended, “To create opportunities for many of the emerging arts organizations and individuals, to be able to experiment around what works to enliven public spaces, to enliven the urban environment, to create that sense of excitement ...” He also went on to point out that, “This is not just a downtown centric strategy, the proposal here tonight is to commit to at least one arts innovation hub in each city council district.”

According to a city council report, the Creative Economy Pilot Project consists of four strategies “that expand civic innovation beyond the technology sector.” Those are: 1) Making Sacramento a platform for experimentation; 2) Building a place-based neighborhood ecosystem around food, tech and art; 3) Empowering individual creators, makers and entrepreneurs; 4) Practicing what we preach: civic engagement and innovation in City Hall. The report also specifies that each grant awarded through the pilot program will not exceed $100,000, ensuring that more projects and/or entities might be able to get a piece of the pie (our words, not theirs).

The day after the city council vote passed, I posted a series of questions on my personal Facebook page, like, “How will this money be allocated? Who gets to decide? How can we make sure it’s a fair and transparent process? Is $500K really enough or just a drop in the bucket? How do we, as a creative community, make sure we don’t forget about and/or turn our backs on the many local music and arts entities who have been ‘making Sacramento cool’ for decades, all while never getting financial hand outs?” along with a number of other mostly rhetorical questions.

I received well over a dozen responses, most of them thoughtful and very interesting.

Sarah Marie Hawkins, a local artist and activist, responded with, “So many of the same questions I have. The meeting was informative, empowering and positive but did leave a lot of blank spaces.”

Christy Savage, local artist and filmmaker, said in part, “I am pretty damn excited to see Steinberg jump right in with actual money for the arts ...

Hoping it bodes well for the future for all of us.”

Andru Defeye of the local art collective ZFG (short for Zero Forbidden Goals) had this to say: “The entirety of the arts community throughout the entirety of the city needs to be involved in the ‘experiments’ that are being designed … If we want equity then we all have to work to ensure that the money doesn’t go back into the same (very white) well of artists in Midtown. I’m cautiously optimistic and feel like the next step is everyone staying active and demanding accountability surrounding things like cultural equity and affordable housing for creatives.”

For local movers and shakers in the creative sphere, this is indeed great news, but now the real work begins: coming up with strong and widely supported ideas of ways to use the seed money, getting those ideas approved by the city and then, most importantly, implementing them successfully. Like Andru said, we here at Submerge are very excited about the pilot program, but we too remain “cautiously optimistic.” Show us what you got, Sacramento creatives! We’ll be watching and reporting on what happens with the program in the coming months.

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

The Optimistic Pessimist 2017 has only just begun and it’s already looking to be one helluva year. January is usually the time of year when a bunch of dumb jerks try to tell you what to expect for the coming year.

Of course, these predictions are often grossly incorrect. And why wouldn’t they be? These prognostications are just guesses and depending on them would be a fool’s errand.

What we need are concrete details. We need to know about events that will definitely happen, not just ones that some poor schlub with a blog thinks are going to happen. That is where I come in; rather, that is where me and my time machine come in. I know the truth because I have seen it with my own eyes. Each year, I fire that bad boy up and bend space-time to my will, risking paradox after paradox, just so you, my loyal readers, may prepare yourselves for the inevitable.

With the inauguration coming on Jan. 20, I’m sure the first thing on most Americans’ minds is, “What the hell is going to happen once we have a President Trump?” Trump will get off to a rocky start at the beginning of 2017 by nearly starting two wars and threatening CNN with nuclear

annihilation; and that’s just the first 100 days of his presidency. Six months in and the Donald has allied us with North Korea and Russia in exchange for unlimited golden shower parties when visiting their countries.

The new super friends declare war on France and the United Kingdom, and Trump names the ensuing skirmish, “Operation: Grab Em By the Pussy!” The world’s cheese, wine and spotted dick prices go through the roof in response. To cap off the year, on New Year’s Eve 2017, Trump has his wife Melania executed on live television for speaking her mind after which he legalizes incest and polygamy so that he may finally marry his daughter, Ivanka.

As if the bread and circuses of the Trump Whitehouse weren’t enough for 2017, Hollywood has plenty in store for the masses in the coming year. Thanks to the success of La La Land, all the big studios will be releasing musicals. That means you better start preparing yourself for a hastily thrown together Star Wars: Chewbacca Sings the Blues. It will be the greatest Star Wars flop since the 1978 holiday variety show television special,

2017: Spoiler Alert!

Bocephus Chigger bocephus@submergemag.com though the number and quality of the memes it generates will be off the charts.

Another popular thing in 2017 will be the Tweeka virus. Previously not seen in humans, the Tweeka virus is thought to be passed into our bloodstream via tick bites. The first signs of the outbreak occur in rural areas where meth manufacturing is common. It is believed that the virus was mutated after local ticks ingested methamphetamines found in the blood of local tweekers. Signs of infection include muscle twitches, talking to oneself, crazy eyes, toothlessness and ugly face. The virus is spread between humans through fluid exchange and cannot be stopped by condoms or interventions, so beware!

Not everything is bad news in 2017. I mean most of it is, but there is something cool that happens in the world of science and technology this year. The most exciting news is that Joe Biden cures cancer! After years of being written off as a lecherous goofball, Uncle Joe manages to shock the world by announcing a mere six months after vacating the Vice Presidency that he has single

handedly found the cure for every form of cancer.

Biden says he just needed time and space to focus and he knew he could figure it out.

Surprisingly, it was his lack of scientific training that lead him to the solution. The cure came to him after mixing several household cleaners together in his kitchen. He tricked friends with cancer into drinking his concoction until he stumbled onto the cure, which fortunately only took a few months to formulate. In the end, the cure should have been obvious; 409 cleans everything!

I could go on and on about what happens this year, but I don’t want to ruin all the fun. If I give away every surprise, I would only stifle your sense of amazement at witnessing these events firsthand and that just wouldn’t be right. You won’t be better off if I tell you that all real news is banned in 2017 and only fake news remains. You might be angry when it actually happens, but not if I warn you ahead of time. Due to the laws of physics, I can’t explain why, but let’s just say that outrage will prove to be important in the future. I should know … I’ve already been there. Stay mad, America, and enjoy the rest of your 2017!

1400 ALHAMBRA SAcRAMento BLUeLAMPSAcRAMento.coM 916-455-3400 monday

january 16 • 9pm

The SpoTlighT: open mic TueSday

january 17 • 8pm

gazeboS boyfriendS ThurSday

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lazy boy Shady naTe friday

ThurSday

kuzzo fly friday

SaTurday

january 21 • 8pm

SageS

mechanizm, TenS upon ThouSandS, black nighT SaTelliTe monday

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The SpoTlighT: open mic wedneSday january

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quincy black, ju aSTaire, boney jay (dubblyfe), zelly, pyro + more SubmergeMag.com

january 27 • 8pm

The ToaSTerS

The inciTerS, SacTo SToryTellerS, aT boTh endS SaTurday

january 28 • 8pm

lemuria

january 20 • 8pm

moxie cruSh burleSque comedy Show

january 26 • 9pm

mikey erg, liTTle TenTS Sunday

january 29 • 9pm

reggae nighT w/

Sol Seed & The Spark monday

january 30 • 9pm

The SpoTlighT: open mic ThurSday

february 2 • 9pm

drip Squad preSenTS friday

february 3 • 7:30pm

candiria

kynTallah, Sword vengeance, murderliciouS

Issue 231 • January 16 – January 30, 2017

9

The grindhouse

Marky Mark Day Patriots Day Rated r Words Jacob Sprecher

YOURAD 03 8 3 ERE H916) 441 (

ubm s @ o f

in

10

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.com g a m rge

There’s this weird feeling that comes only after walking out of a film “based on actual events.” The actual events inevitably being ones you don’t know all the details of, an inclination exists to take what appears on screen at face value, based off your overall enjoyment level. Captain Phillips, for example: I felt tugs of “U.S.A.! U.S.A.!”

Until I learned that most of the narrative was made up, and that, in fact, Phillps’ own crew detested him, and put the entire disastrous episode on his shoulders in the first place. Similarly, as Patriots Day came to a close, I looked over to my friend and said, “That was a really good movie for what it was.”

In this instance, director Peter Berg (Battleship, Lone Survivor) depicts the Boston Marathon bombing of April 2013.

Mark Wahlberg portrays Boston Police Department officer Tommy Saunders, a gung-ho cop with a winning smile and plentiful helping of rough-and-tumble “Baaastin” charm. As the tragic events of that day unfold, the low-ranking Sgt. Saunders is seemingly everywhere: Finish line ground-zero, FBI headquarters, the Watertown shootout, the arrest of Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, shaking David Ortiz’s hand at Fenway Park. He’s involved in answering all the tough questions: Which security cameras should we pull? When should we release suspect photos? And what does it all mean? Because Sgt. Tommy Saunders

Issue 231 • January 16 – January 30, 2017

is a hero. He is true blue; the very embodiment of “Boston Strong.”

But Tommy Saunders wasn’t at the finish line when the Tsarnaev brothers detonated homemade bombs, killing three and destroying the limbs of dozens. He wasn’t instrumental in piecing together security camera footage of the attackers with Special Agent Richard DesLauriers.

He didn’t relay the vehicle GPS number of Dun Meng’s stolen Mercedes. He wasn’t on-scene for the Watertown standoff that claimed the life of Tamerlan Tsarnaev and ultimately officer Dennis Simmonds. He never made an absurd and clichéd speech about love and hate to future Police Commissioner Bill Evans, and he didn’t find Dzhokhar Tsarnaev hiding under cover of a backyard boat in residential suburbia.

That’s because Sgt. Tommy Saunders doesn’t exist. He was a composite character intended to represent the good deeds and hard work of many different people. Because—clearly—the events of the week of April 15, 2013 were not gripping enough as is. What they really needed was Mark Wahlberg.

Peter Berg’s intention was not meant to be one of offense, and he didn’t direct Patriots Day in a fashion that was particularly extreme in the scope of contemporary cinematic nationalism (American Sniper) or xenophobia (Argo).

Some of his depictions are factually accurate, from the explosions themselves on Boylston Street to Dun Meng’s interactions with the Tsarnaev brothers upon his car being hijacked.

But the industry-standard arrogance which tells us that tragedy is insufficient is both condescending and disrespectful.

What about the Marathon bombings and five-day manhunt that followed wasn’t “riveting” enough for the big screen? What about the murder of MIT police officer Sean Collier needed the inclusion of a love interest and hot date to see the Zac Brown Band? And what exactly about the strengths of ordinary Bostonians isn’t valiant enough to be played by multiple character actors?

The answer is simple: Hollywood thinks you’re stupid. Hollywood thinks I’m stupid. They take us for saps, and prey upon our basest human interests and emotions simply because they can. I mean why would we want to see a bunch of no-names depict everyday citizens and law enforcement when we could be watching one single Marky Mark for 133 minutes? And why would we want to see a boring, run-of-the-mill gun/grenade fight that claimed the life of a domestic terrorist when you could just as easily take a page from Bad Boys II and start flipping cop cars upside down and 10 feet into the air?

Oh and I guess I never realized or maybe just forgot that people from Boston have accents. So it’s good of Berg to make sure there isn’t one single “R” pronounced in the entire film.

There were good performances in Patriots Day. Jimmy O. Yang was absolutely excellent as the aforementioned Meng, and Kevin Bacon was intense and precise as Special Agent DesLauriers. But what had the chance of being a really great true-life drama was in the end just another major motion jerk-off, brazenly pandering to masses it never had to pander to in the first place. Best of luck to Berg-Wahlberg 4.0.

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

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T h e Rev ival is ts The Infamous Stringdusters K il l th e Preced en t / Ho r s en ec k T h e Greg Go l d en Ban d ALO T h e Brain s / T h e D el ta Bo m ber s Yo n as Wil l K im bro ug h & Br ig itte D em eyer House of Floyd (Pink Floyd Tribute)

3.0 1 3.0 2 3.0 3 3.0 3 3.0 5 3.11 3.12 3.12 3.19 3. 22 3. 24 3. 25

Issue 231 • January 16 – January 30, 2017

C h ic an o Batm an D o n C ar l o s Ian Eth an C as e & Ad r ian Bel l ue (E a r l y ) Bas h & Po p Po r ter & N ic ker s o n C atie Cur tis Isaiah Rashad (New Show Added) Is aiah Ras h ad (Sold Out) G Love and Special Sauce Clap Your Hands Say Yeah Save Fer r is Mo uth s of Babes

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Outside the 9-to-5

Winter Driving in a Not-So-Californian Winter words & photos Ellen Baker

I’m no car aficionado; I drive a Prius, for God’s sake.

But I do have advice for those of you braving this year’s Stormageddon and driving into the forces of nature.

Many of us who were born and raised in California have never been forced to drive in harsh conditions.

Our “harsh conditions” consist of too many leaves on the ground or turkeys crossing the road, if you’re from Fair Oaks. There’s seldom too much rain, lighting or—perish the thought—snow. This means that when there is a “once-in-10-year” storm on the horizon, many Californians tend to take on the SNL Californian role and become distorted. I do admit this was once—perhaps even still is—me, which is why I’m here to provide advice on how not to drive a car in winter.

My first piece of advice is this: if you can bear to stay home, do it. I know this column is all about exploring and getting outside but sometimes all we really need is a weekend inside with a boozy hot chocolate, sitting by the fire, listening to the storm outside our weather-proof windows. What better way to achieve this relaxing weekend than to blame it on the weather and some random article you read in Submerge the other day convincing you it was a good idea?

If you’re like me and you’re heading to the mountains to ice climb (or ski, or snowshoe, or drink, or gamble) and you just HAVE to fight the weather-stricken roads, slow the fuck down. I’m talking to you, Dodge Ram 3500. Just because you have snow tires or you’re a big ass truck does not give you the right to take the snowy roundabout at 40 mph and hydroplane into the crosswalk like an asshole. The rest of us behind you get screwed too.

If you don’t have the luxury of snow tires, buy chains and learn to install them before your trip.

Don’t just read the instructions once and put them on, become a damn pro at getting those suckers on because when you’re in a blizzard you don’t want to have to find the user manual and follow each step.

On hills: continue movement. I repeat, continue movement. Do not stop. Even if you’re going 2 mph, that’s fine, just keep truckin’. This is especially important in a snow-chained Prius. Maybe your car is fine but please keep moving forward for the sake of the snow-chained Prius somewhere behind you.

Allot approximately 25 percent extra time for wherever you are going. This approximation has zero studies to back it up, just be aware you will be late if you leave on time.

With the advice I have provided to you I hope you either: A) stay home or B) get to your destination in a timely manner. If neither of these apply to you and you find yourself in a ditch on the side of the road stuck in a blizzard with no cell service along with all the other stranded cars, here is a list of items that I think will help you remain calm and collected:

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• A shovel. If you really are in the middle of nowhere and you get buried, this will keep you sane. A poop shovel will suffice.

• Blankets and/or a sleeping bag. Save gas and turn your car off, bundle up and settle in.

• Speaking of settling in, do you like to read? Make sure you have your favorite book on hand so you don’t begin thinking of every terrible thing that could happen next. Avalanches are a real thing.

• Don’t like to read? Bring some booze. This should calm all nerves and maybe ignite some brilliant scheme for evacuation.

• Try to keep that gas gauge pointing to at least half during your trip.

• A buddy. Despite putting them in this terrible situation, it would be nice to have a friend to share this everlasting memory.

Issue 231 • January 16 – January 30, 2017

We West Coasters are lucky to have a winter such as this one. Take advantage and get outside but be mindful of your surroundings. Many tragedies have transpired this season, whether simply over-publicized by the media or caused by lack of safety due to overexcitement of the snow, accidents are present. Drive and explore carefully, not only protecting yourself but others around you. Have fun and adventure on.

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

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Issue 231 • January 16 – January 30, 2017

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Your Senses Words submerge staff

HEAR

What Happens When You Mix Mariachi and Metal?

Come Find Out When Metalachi Plays Harlow’s! • Jan. 22 Bust out a sombrero and put up those metal horns, it’s time to rock, mariachi style. The world’s first (and let’s be honest, probably only) “metal mariachi” band—appropriately named Metalachi—is once again blazing up stages around the country and they’ve got their sights set on Sacramento for a not-to-bemissed gig at Harlow’s on Sunday, Jan. 22. Come watch this group of skilled mariachi players put their spin on rock and metal classics such as “Ace of Spades” by Motörhead, “Raining Blood”

by Slayer, “Symphony of Destruction” by Megadeth, “Hot for Teacher” by Van Halen, “Crazy Train” by Ozzy Osbourne and so many others. Tickets are only $12 in advance online at Harlows. com, or $14 at the door. This one is for 21-and-over only, sorry kiddos! Doors open at 7 p.m. with the show starting one hour later. Harlow’s is located at 2708 J St. in downtown Sacramento.

TASTE

30-Plus Craft Breweries on Tap for the Sixth Annual Art of Beer Invitational • Jan. 27 True craft beer aficionados in Sacramento know that the best local annual event is The Art of Beer Invitational. Now in its sixth year, going down on Jan. 27 at the McClellan Conference Center, this incredibly well curated and intimate event (we say “intimate” because there won’t be 20,000 drunk people stumbling around at this event like at other, larger, outdoor beer festivals) will offer unlimited pours from some of the best craft breweries out there, along with unlimited small bites of food from regional farm-tofork restaurants and an art exhibit with a ton of awesome beer-related work on display from a number of regional artists. “We continue to be pleasantly surprised by the region’s excitement for this event,” said Jennifer Irwin, event director and co-owner, in a press release submitted to Submerge. “We’re looking forward to offering attendees an even more memorable experience by having a wider selection of food pairings, and also by inviting new or highly-coveted breweries and extending the duration of our VIP hour.”

Many of the area’s favorite breweries will be on hand this year, including (but not limited to): Berryessa, New Glory, Bike Dog, Device, Moonraker, Track 7 and Sudwerk. A healthy number of out-of-towners will be pouring as well: Boneyard from Bend, Oregon; Modern Times from San Diego; The Rare Barrel from Berkeley; De Garde from Tillamook, Oregon; plus a bunch of others. Get your tickets ASAP because this event will sell out! Passes start at $50 and are available to purchase online at Artofbeerinvitational. com. Be sure to bid on your favorite pieces of artwork when you’re there, because 100 percent of the money raised from the silent art auction goes to a local charity. This year, the beneficiary is Sol Collective. Learn more and keep up to date at Facebook.com/ AOBsacramento or follow them on Twitter (@ArtofbeerCA).

SEE

One Last Dance: Sizzling Sirens Burlesque Experience to Perform Final Show at Harlow’s Jan. 21

After more than eight years of “good clean dirty fun,” Sacramento’s premiere burlesque troupe, The Sizzling Sirens, are throwing the ol’ tassels on one last time.

With one last major production in the books on Saturday, Jan. 21 at Harlow’s, the crew will be “transitioning into a nonproducing troupe,” according to a post on the Sirens’ website, Houseofsizzle.com. They went on to write, “Though you will still see us together on various stages from time to time, we are excited to shift our focus to some other personal and creative projects and are thankful for all of the shows we have been able to bring to the Sacramento area over the past eight-and-a-half years!”

The Sizzling Sirens were formed in 2008 by Jay Siren and have become one of the true treasures of Sacramento’s performing arts scene with their creatively themed productions featuring a variety of entertaining dance routines, sketch comedy, satire and theatrics. If you want your shot at seeing the Sirens’ final show, you better get tickets right away. Floor seating was sold out as of press time, but general admission standing tickets are still available for $15 in advance (the price will go up to $20 at the door if there are still tickets on the day of the show). Visit Harlows.com for a link to purchase.

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Issue 231 • January 16 – January 30, 2017

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

SEE

Cirque Zuma Zuma Twists, Bends and Grooves Their Way to Sac State for a Free Show Feb. 2

Described as an African-style Cirque du Soleil, the entrancing traveling troupe known as Cirque Zuma Zuma is heading to Sacramento to wow audiences with a free performance. Mark your calendars for Thursday, Feb. 2 and head to Sacramento State’s University Union Ballroom to be dazzled by traditional African dancers, acrobatics, contortionists, jugglers, musicians and more. If their name sounds familiar, it might be because Cirque Zuma Zuma was a finalist on NBC’s America’s Got Talent back in 2011. The show on Feb. 2 starts at 7:30 p.m. and is free for students and general public. All ages are welcome. The event is in support of Black History Month. More information can be found at Sacstateunique.com or by calling the University Union Information Desk at (916) 278-6997. Pro tip: Parking is free in structure No. 3 on the top floor on all event nights after 6:30 p.m.

TOUCH

Become A Mushroom Master at The Learning Exchange’s “Magic & Mystery of Growing Mushrooms” Class • Jan. 28

At this hands-on course, you’ll learn everything you would ever want to know about the “Magic and Mystery of Growing Mushrooms.” Whether it’s in your home, backyard, garage, work, school or wherever, really, class instructor Max Meyers will make sure you leave with enough knowledge to grow your own ‘shrooms there for edible purposes, medicinal purposes and much more. You’ll also leave with your very own organic, living, edible gourmet mushroom kit by creating your own indoor/outdoor mini-farm in class. It should produce mushrooms for several months to come! Meyers is a registered Aquaculturist and owner of Nor Cal Aquaponics. He has 15 years of permaculture experience as a farmer, homesteader, professional designer, installer and teacher, often leading ecology classes around the Northern California area. This one-of-akind mushroom mastery class is happening on Saturday, Jan. 28 from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. with the registration fee being $79 (there is also a $12 materials fee). The Learning Exchange is located at 1111 Howe Ave. Suite 115 in Sacramento. They can be reached by phone at (916) 929-9200 or learn more online at Learningexchange.com.

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Issue 231 • January 16 – January 30, 2017

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playinG “autumn of the SeraphS” in itS entirety and more

With Special GueSt

oke Junior

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Issue 231 • January 16 – January 30, 2017

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Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

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l A N Y makua rothman With tribal theory

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dance G av i n dance / chon S u N dAy

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TiCkETS AvAilAblE @ diMplE RECORdS & AceOfSpadesSac.com

Issue 231 • January 16 – January 30, 2017

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The Strength of Strings Hip-Hop/Classical act Black Violin set for multiple tour dates in Northern California Words Andrew C. Russell Photo Colin Brennan

A

t its heart, Black Violin is an ongoing conversation between two consummate performers engaged fully in the language of their instruments while consistently bending the vocabulary.

To date, their playful blend of contemporary hip-hop and classical stylings has gained them stage space alongside the likes of Alicia Keys, Aerosmith and Kanye West; won over notoriously tough audiences at the Apollo Theater in Harlem; and sent them to perform for President Obama’s second inauguration. In the meantime, their unique straddling of two musical worlds has made every show an opportunity to open minds, flip stereotypes and foster an independent musical spirit in the next generation of artists.

Wil Baptiste (viola) and Kev Marcus (violin) of Ft. Lauderdale, Florida, spent much of their youth oscillating between the music that filled their classrooms and the music that filled their headphones after class—a mind-opening series of musical discoveries set them on a path toward fusing the two.

They began wowing classmates by riffing on stringsectioned rap tracks such as “Gimme Some More” by Busta Rhymes, and they were introduced to an album of borderline-soul jazz entitled Black Violin by the late Stuff Smith, a legend of the instrument. Some years after college, the pieces would all come into place as they hurriedly chose the name for their act before their first performance on Showtime at the Apollo. The name neatly summed up their concept while belying its complexity—it was bold, immediate, dismissive of barriers—and set the two performers up as torchbearers for a unique and vital strain of American music.

Three albums later, and over a decade into their career, Black Violin have never stopped honing their craft, touring across the United States and Europe while also branching into composing for the small screen; you can hear some of their music on Fox’s The Pitch, including the extremely catchy theme song, “No Fear.”

They’ve also become increasingly devoted to outreach for budding young musicians, making numerous appearances at schools and with youth orchestras around the country. Here they have a chance to impart their favorite and most valuable lesson, and one that translates just as well outside of the band room—how to think outside the box with your given talent.

For most of 2017, Baptiste and Marcus are continuing the U.S. leg of their international UNITY tour, including January stops in Arcata, Santa Rosa, Stanford University (already sold out) and Grass Valley.

Their most recent album, Stereotypes (dropped late in 2015) is their debut major label release and serves as an apt introduction for new listeners, filled with fantastic guest spots from Pharaohe Monche, Melanie Fiona and complemented by Baptiste’s vocal stylings— but if you can, get a concert ticket and experience their unconventional virtuosity to the fullest.

We had the recent good fortune of speaking with Marcus to find out about the Black Violin ethos, what it’s like to compose for a show on a major network, the experience of meeting the Obamas and the joy of overturning stereotypes.

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Issue 231 • January 16 – January 30, 2017

How was your 2016?

It was a great year, probably the best year of our career. We had an album on a major label for the first time; we had a great European tour supporting this wonderful band, 2Cellos; we played the Heisman Trophy presentation. I think we did over 140 shows total. It was the year we’d always dreamed of. We were realizing our truest potential. And I think 2017 is going to be even better.

What’s the idea behind the UNITY tour name?

When we do our concerts and we look out from our vantage point on the stage, we see all kinds of different people— black, white, purple, green … There’s 5-year-olds, there’s people in their 90s.

We try to make our very existence a unifying thing. There are people sitting next to each other at our concert that normally wouldn’t enjoy the same things, but because of how unique it is, and how inclusive it is, I think we can unify people in a way not many artists do. We have this power to unify and to be really inclusive, and we wanted to shed some more light on that. This tour just has a great vibe. You’ll be entertained, for sure, but you’ll also be educated and inspired.

If you’re older and have been listening to classical music all your life, you’ll enjoy it, but you’ll be enjoying if differently from, say, that 15-year-old sitting next to you who listens to Future and Drake all day.

At the end, they’ll be able to talk to each other and have something in common.

How did you come to be involved with outreach to youth organizations?

I don’t know if that’s what we set out to do at the very beginning, like putting a violin in a kid’s hand and getting them involved. We were just into making dope music that people could dig. As time went on and we became more popular, there were more eyes on us, and we felt a growing responsibility to give back as much as we take in. At the start, we wanted to be great musicians, to be respected in the hip-hop community as well as the classical community, and as we gained that respect, we realized we had a responsibility to play to as many kids as possible, to help create the next generation of Black Violin, you know, the next generation of forward thinkers. It’s not even necessarily just about the music.

Music is just our tool to think differently; the violin is just the instrument I use to express myself. Ultimately it’s about what we can do with the violin, flipping it on its head. Our challenge to kids isn’t necessarily musical. If you want to be the next Steph Curry, just find another way to shoot the jumper.

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

What’s most exciting in music right now and who would you want to collaborate with in the near future?

I think over the last couple of years, especially in pop music, we’ve been in a really repetitive state. But there’s been some albums in the last year that give me hope that 2017 is going to be evolving more musically. Childish Gambino’s album was a masterpiece. I thought it was amazing. Anderson .Paak is another one that I really like, I think his voice is dope, and what he’s saying, his soul vibe— plus, he’s a drummer.

Beyoncé, I love her; we haven’t had a chance to work with her—that’s sort of a bucket list thing. Collaboration doesn’t even have to be complicated. I just want to be involved with something that Beyoncé does. There’s Kaytranada on the electronic side, I’m really into that right now—also Flume. I’d love to work with Alicia Keys again. But my ultimate bucket list collaboration would have to be Stevie Wonder. I’d drop anything to work with him. He’s one of those rare people, I think, that never sang a note or said a word that he didn’t truly believe. Bob Marley had that quality, too, I think.

One central topic in your music is stereotypes. What is it like confounding them on a daily basis?

It’s sort of my favorite thing about doing this. I like that I can take this instrument with me wherever I want and play it, pick it up and soothe myself, because I can speak through it. Next to that, however, my favorite thing about playing the instrument is that I’m not supposed to play it, you know? I’m a 6-foot-2, 265-pound black guy with a beard, who’s a big football fan. This guy who I am is not supposed to be a classically trained violinist. Every time we get up on stage and do our thing, we change perceptions of what a violin is supposed to sound like, who’s supposed to play that violin and what a black man is capable of. Anytime we’re on stage, we convey that without even trying, because that’s who we are.

How did Black Violin by Stuff Smith change you when you first heard it?

It changed my perception of what was possible. When I went to college, the first day of class, my teacher gave me that tape and told me listen to it. I’d never heard a violin play soul before. I’d heard classical in every way possible, bluegrass, country, jazz violin, but I’d never heard soul violin. It was like hearing something that was alive—like when I first heard Jimi Hendrix play—there’s a heartbeat in it. I never thought of violin in the same way after that. I gave the album to Wil and he felt the same way. Fast-forward three to four years later, we went to do an act at the Apollo and were trying to decide what to call ourselves—the album was the first thing that came to mind.

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“I like that I can take this instrument with me wherever I want and play it, pick it up and soothe myself, because I can speak through it. Next to that, however, my favorite thing about playing the instrument is that I’m not supposed to play it, you know? I’m a 6-foot-2, 265-pound black guy with a beard, who’s a big football fan. This guy who I am is not supposed to be a classically trained violinist.

Every time we get up on stage and do our thing, we change perceptions of what a violin is supposed to sound like, who’s supposed to play that violin and what a black man is capable of. Anytime we’re on stage, we convey that without even trying, because that’s who we are.”

– Black Violin’s Kev Marcus on his relationship with his band’s namesake instrument.

What’s your approach to composing for television?

This is the first time we’ve ever done anything like this. We just finished the first season of The Pitch. It was definitely a different experience. My whole career since college, when we started Black Violin, has been about making music for us. Now we’re creating music for specific characters. We’re trying to create soundscapes to the work the actors are already doing. We’re contributing to a piece of art, but we’re not the sole creators of it as we are with our albums.

It was a learning experience for sure, a different approach to figure out how best to be true to ourselves musically and also make the producers happy. I listen to music a lot differently now, especially in movies and television. I study them a bit more. I notice how the music is married to the images, like in the show Westworld. We try to make music that is more dense. It needs to be epic, it needs to be bigger.

What has been your proudest moment thus far?

It would be performing for the president, I have to say. President Obama—I have to clarify that now. Playing at his second inauguration would have to be the proudest moment in my career. To meet him, Michelle, his kids, shake their hands—it’s hard to top. I’ve never had anything come close to that moment.

Standing in line to meet him with Usher, it was a surreal moment, being in the midst of all these superstars. Then I got up and gave him the bro pound and a hug.

What is your advice to musicians for thinking outside the box?

I couldn’t do the things that I’m doing now without completely being dedicated to the violin. We didn’t really try to switch and integrate hip-hop into it until we were well into college, and we’d been playing 10 to 12 years at that point, classically. But I would have quit the instrument a long time ago if I wasn’t able to pick it up and make it mine, play whatever I wanted to with it, and find a way to do something that people would react to.

Don’t miss your chance to see Black Violin live at The Center for the Arts’ Main Stage Theater in Grass Valley on Jan. 29. Tickets are $52 (which includes facility fee) for non-members and $47 for members. To purchase tickets, go to Thecenterforthearts.org.

Issue 231 • January 16 – January 30, 2017

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Artist Ryan Seng’s New Exhibition Charts His Path from Bartender to Business Owner

Words Lovelle Harris photo Kevin Fiscus

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Canned Cocktails

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Issue 231 • January 16 – January 30, 2017

hen a bartender decides to the leave the game and make their exit from behind the bar, it can be a devastating moment for the cocktail scene—namely, the barflies. Gone are the days of bellying up to the bar and sitting across from your favorite mixologist eager to tempt your taste buds with one of their latest concoctions.

Ryan Seng is one of those local curators of all things spirits who has since vacated his post from behind the bar to pursue other artistic and entrepreneurial adventures. For those missing the pleasure of partaking in one of the artist/bartender’s delightful distillations at local watering holes like Grange Restaurant and Bar and Shady Lady, take solace in knowing that the former bartender has taken his show on the road—well, in the form of a cocktail in a can, that is.

Aptly named Can Can Cocktails, Seng’s new venture continues his tradition of creating cocktails that are both complex yet accessible to all palates, a talent, no doubt, that emerged out of his New York art school background.

“I was like a shitty, little 14-year-old kid getting into a lot trouble,” Seng remarks about his transformation into a serious artist with a chuckle. “And then I got into art, and then I started taking art seriously and I moved out to New York to study painting.”

After completing his studies at the New York Studio School in Manhattan in his twenties, Seng and his wife made their way out to Davis, where he parlayed his experience in the New York restaurant scene and picked up restaurant and bar gigs to pay the bills.

Seng was not only able to earn a living for himself and his young family, but he soon soared to the top of the heap of renowned bartenders in the region.

“I feel really lucky that I was able to do well in restaurants so I could support a family,” Seng admits. “I think that was the crazy thing about Can Can Cocktails, there is this funny law in California that you can’t be the owner of an alcohol company and work in the retail sector. So, then I couldn’t bartend anymore, which was crazy because that was my whole livelihood. So, now I’m full time at Can Can Cocktails, which is terrifying and exciting sometimes too.”

Known for creating erotic and lively scenes that evoke the freewheeling and occasionally debauched speakeasy culture, Seng will be showing his latest body of work to land on the canvas at an upcoming show at Sacramento State titled Call Your Corners!

“I used to kind of keep my art and my bartending separate,” Seng explains. “[I was] young and trying to pretend that I was a serious artist who was just bartending, but then I

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

Yolo Love

Sausage

Blind Tiger

[came] to that point, like, ‘Who cares?’

So I just started mixing the worlds together. A lot of my bar experiences started coming into my painting and then sometimes painting stuff would come into my bar work, like the way I would compose a painting would be like a drink.”

The perfect example of the convergence of the two disciplines in Seng’s world, aside from the Can Can Cocktails project, can be seen at Shady Lady: the artist and entrepreneur’s work graces both the walls and at the bar (Seng collaborated with the master mixologists at the venerable R Street tavern). His grandiose piece, appropriately titled Blind Tiger, harkens back to the days of the speakeasy and serves as one of the main points of interest in the establishment’s lush and sensual design aesthetic.

Now that he has completely dedicated his time and talent to making Can Can Cocktails a legit force in the portable libation sector—and no, we’re not talking those malt beverage SubmergeMag.com

selections out on the market—Seng is bringing only the best ingredients and quality spirits to the table.

Of course, building a brand and keeping on top of the supply-anddemand machine is a challenge all on its own; a beast that Seng says is only too happy to slay. And thanks to his background and notoriety in the bar scene, the long days and nights developing a business plan and then setting that plan into motion has been rewarding nonetheless.

Especially when that first can rolled off of the conveyor belt, accompanied by that first glorious hiss from the pull tab releasing the essence of his signature cocktail, the 120, an effervescent concoction that boasts 80-proof premium vodka, raspberry and lemon juice, and mint from Del-Rio Botanical, a local farming outfit that specializes in organically grown fresh and seasonal produce.

“I had so many connections from working in town for so long and people respect me as a bartender, so

“When you’re a young art student, you have this idea of what an artist is and what kind of art you should make.

And then you get a little older and you realize it’s really exciting being in a time that nobody has ever been in before, and you’re going to do things you can’t easily define.”

– Ryan Seng on forging his own path as an artist and as an entrepreur.

Burn Brighter

at least I should give it a try, and that was my goal: it had to be a really, really good drink in a can. It couldn’t be terrible. And that was a really fun challenge, too. Like, how to get that kind of craft into a can, a high-end product with that freshness.”

Gearing up for the Sacramento State show, Seng sees the upcoming exhibition, which opens on Jan. 23, as an opportunity for his artistic experience to come full circle from setting up provocative and engaging art shows as a young artist upon his relocation to the West Coast to the more studied and academic experience he now finds himself in.

“It’s kind of a funny show for me,” Seng explains. “When I was that shitty 14-year-old, I imagined being an artist and in my brain, I thought that art shows must be fun—like naked people walking around and crazy lights and music and drinks. And then [I found that] the artworld is nothing like that.

So I started doing a bunch of art shows like that … we’d call around and do

these shows in San Francisco, inviteonly, and they were really fun. And now here I am full circle. The CSUS show is pretty academic.”

After being unceremoniously exiled from the bar scene that sparked some of his most creative moments: from creating signature cocktails at Shady Lady to blowing his patron’s minds at Grange, Seng encourages young artists to follow their own unique path—the opportunities are boundless, he reassures.

“When you’re a young art student, you have this idea of what an artist is and what kind of art you should make,” Seng says. “And then you get a little older and you realize it’s really exciting being in a time that nobody has ever been in before, and you’re going to do things you can’t easily define—and then you find yourself starting a canned cocktail company, but you still want to paint. So, use your talents as an artist and creative person to do creative and new crazy things.”

Photos above by Kevin Fiscus

Ryan Seng’s exhibit Call Your Corners! will be on display Jan. 23–Feb, 16 at the University Union Gallery on the Sac State campus. The reception for the show will be held Thursday, Jan. 26, from 6–8 p,m, Find out more about Seng and Can Can Cocktails at Cancancocktails.com.

Issue 231 • January 16 – January 30, 2017

21

Paying Dues

Jordan Rock Puts His Own Stamp on His Family’s Comedic Legacy Words Robert Berry

I

’m a comedian who loves talking to comedians, so when I had a chance to interview Jordan Rock, I was intrigued. With an eight-year career that started when he was 17, he’s already received notable roles in TV shows such as Love and Brooklyn Nine Nine

and will be featured alongside Andy Samberg and Josh Peck in a film about three guys going to a hip-hop show called Take the 10, which debuts on Netflix on Jan. 20.

Rock’s stand-up credits are piling up. In January and February of this year he’s headlining major clubs in South Carolina, Washington DC and Sacramento. He’s

appeared on Last Comic Standing, @midnight and Totally Biased with W. Kamau Bell.

So bringing up the fact that he’s Chris Rock’s little brother feels like it makes me “that guy” who had to ask “that question,” but when I asked him who his biggest comedy influence was growing up, how could I not expect that it would be Chris?

Twenty-five years his senior, Chris was already a superstar when Jordan was just a kid.

His other brother, Tony Rock, is also a successful stand-up comedian and actor, as well.

But the comedy game is honest and as personal as it gets. Sure, some celebrities get into comedy already famous or with a connection, but after 30 seconds on stage, if you aren’t legitimately funny, you’re immediately exposed. It’s not genetic, and it’s certainly not easy. Jordan Rock will be headlining six shows at Punch Line Sacramento Jan. 19–22.

In anticipation of his upcoming, local stint, I talked with Jordan on the phone about his career, development and what it’s like to perform.

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So how long were you performing in South Carolina before you moved to New York?

For a year and a half, but I wouldn’t count it.

It doesn’t even count. I was in high school and I wasn’t able to move free, so I wouldn’t really count it. It really started in 2009 when I moved to New York.

Issue 231 • January 16 – January 30, 2017

How was that first year in New York?

It was the longest year of my life. It was horrible [laughs]. New York beats you up. The first year was very long, and the second year was cool. Everything else after that was fast.

There’s not a lot of quality stage time. You just have to make the most of every set you have, and you have to really network because you don’t know anybody.

Do you have a really memorable bombing story that sticks out?

I followed Kevin Hart one time when Kevin Hart was … Kevin Hart! Two-hundred people walked out on me. They saw Kevin Hart and were like, “This can’t get any better.” Their checks came, I got on stage and then they were like, “Yeah, we were right!”

Who were some of your biggest influences in comedy growing up?

My brothers were my biggest influences, Chris and Tony. I really liked how they moved and how they lived life. I wanted to grow up and be like that. I want to work like that.

So as a kid, your brother Chris was already performing stand-up.

Yeah, he’s already becoming him.

Was there any consultation or advice from him when you were young that helped you decide to do that?

He told me to come to New York. Don’t go to Los Angeles, come to New York! He said you got to go to New York to actually develop, because in California, you go there with what you’ve got. They don’t really give you time to develop there, because everyone is coming out there.

In New York, you can see someone bombing on Tuesday and killing on Thursday with the same exact jokes, because you can develop.

How would you describe your comedy?

My comedy right now is just straight up the middle. I’m trying to just observe all of these new things that are going on all around me and just be in the middle. I don’t really want to pick a side. I want to be in the middle of every argument. I don’t want to lean too much to the right, and I don’t want to lean too much to the left. I just want to be me. I talk about growing up. I talk about the little things that happen in society and my life experience.

Are you starting to get fans that are looking forward to you coming back, or seeking you out to go to your shows repeatedly?

It’s building slow and it’s happening, but it’s really a cool thing. I appreciate everyone that comes out, even if it’s at a small place.

If only five people show up, I’ll still give five people the best show I can.

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

“My comedy right now is just straight up the middle. I’m trying to just observe all of these new things that are going on all around me and just be in the middle. I don’t really want to pick a side.

I want to be in the middle of every argument. I don’t want to lean too much to the right, and I don’t want to lean too much to the left. I just want to be me.” – Jordan Rock Yeah, I always feel bad when a comic performs down the crowd. Like they feel there’s not enough people here for a good show, and they treat the audience badly.

I’ll never forget when I was hosting a show for like 12 people. One of them walked out of the show and went to the bathroom and I asked them if they were enjoying it and they were like, “Yeah, we’re having a great time! We just wish the comics were having as much fun as us.”

On your Twitter page it says “The Solange of My Family” as your tagline. You’re doing your own thing, and your stage presence is really nothing like your brother’s, but it’s got to be weird having that connection. What’s it like having that bond as you’re following your own career?

It’s been interesting. People will put more emphasis on it than you will. I’m just like, “You are not going to make me feel weird for having a dope family.” Once I just got out of what everyone else was thinking and focused on myself, I feel like I’m doing alright.

SubmergeMag.com

How long have you been headlining?

About three years now. I did it a little bit with one-night gigs and when comics produce shows, but this is my first time coming to clubs and nice rooms where I’m headlining for a weekend.

Yeah, a Thursday-through-Sunday run at a club like Sacramento Punch Line is a pretty fun set of shows. Plus you get the whole gamut of a light Thursday to the dreaded late Friday show. Why do so many comics joke about the late Friday shows?

Some people just like to be miserable. Some people just like to complain. Or maybe they just want to get out and party. This is my first time doing it, so I haven’t worked hard enough to complain yet [laughs]. I feel like I have to do these shows and do them good so they’ll invite me back so I can do them over and over again.

Doing a run like this, I’m looking forward to people coming out, telling their friends about it, and they’ll have time to come, too, instead of it just being a one night thing.

And it’s a gift to do that many shows in a short amount of time because you can tweak and modify and every show is just a little bit different.

It’s great doing longer sets because when I’m in New York, I’m doing 15 minutes. I want to stretch and it’s time to stretch to show what I can do.

And that’s part of what you’re talking about with that first year in New York, because you’re basically starting with three-minute sets while you’re trying to make a name for yourself.

Yeah, it’s the craziest thing because you’re doing the shortest of sets and you’re trying to make it work. But you grow and fight to get five, then 10, then a nice 15 set. Then you’re ready to put together a project so you can really tell people something.

Is there a comedy album in the near future?

I think 2019 would be a good year for an album.

I think I’m going to let everything I’m working on this year go through so people can get a bit more acquainted with me. Then go back out on the road, build on top of that and then put

something out. Plus my brother has a special coming out so I want to make sure I’m out of his way.

Do you have a good relationship with him when you’re on the road where you encourage each other?

Oh yeah, I text him all the time.

It seems like there’s more comedians working right now then ever before. What advice would you give a new comic starting out trying to carve out their place?

Do not try and impress me [laughs]. Don’t try and impress other comics. Try to impress people that buy comedy. That’s the problem that comics have.

They want to be the comic’s comic. If you want to be the comic’s comic, you’re not going to get far!

You’ll have six chances to see Jordan Rock live at Punch Line in Sacramento (2100 Arden Way) Jan. 19–22.

Tickets range from $15–$20, depending on date and time of the performance, so check out Punchlinesac.com for more details.

Issue 231 • January 16 – January 30, 2017

23

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Shaping the Narrative

Be Brave Bold Robot Returns to their Favorite Stomping Grounds with a New Album Words John Phillips • photo chuck johnson

I

f you find yourself having deja vu while reading this article, it’s for a good reason: two years ago, the band in this article had a CD release show, in January … at the Fox and Goose. So, no, you’re not just imagining things.

The Sacramento mainstay indie folk-rock act Be Brave Bold Robot debuted their previous album Press E to Continue on Jan. 23, 2015. To commemorate their newest release, entitled But to Hate God Do Get a Hot Tub, once again they will bring their audience to the British pub for another night of ale and new tunes.

When asked why the Fox and Goose is such a popular location for BBBR shows, frontman Dean Haakenson explains during a phone interview with Submerge: “We’ve had a couple of CD release shows [at the Fox and Goose] —this is the third, I think—and one of those previous two … both of them were really well attended. But the 2013 show, I was told by the booking guy our night was the best night they had had in a couple of years. We have a particular bond, feelings for the Fox and Goose. I love that place.”

“We’ll play anywhere,” Haakenson adds. “We actually like to play if it’s a venue we haven’t played ever, or for a while, we might prefer to play that place just to check it out.”

Whenever I run across bands or projects that have made it past the decade mark (by my calculations, BBBR is coming up on their teen years at 13), I find myself fascinated with that sort of longevity, which eludes

so many. It’s nearly impossible not to poke and prod a little for insight how one might last through the harrowing task that is keeping a band together long-term.

“Bands are funny little things,” says Haakenson. “I’m sure you’ve heard all the cliches: a marriage, but with five people.

“I think it’s my determination to keep on managing the band, push the issue that we have a practice, get everyone to the practice space, to book the shows, to play,” continues Haakenson. “I guess if I wasn’t doing that, I don’t know if anyone else would. Combine that with the players actually wanting to play with me, that has everything to do with it.”

The band’s newest album, the aforementioned But to Hate God Do Get a Hot Tub, follows suit with previous efforts as far as overall tone and theme. Haakenson describes his albums generally following a formula which includes a sound similar to the quality of their live performances, and lyrically following a general narrative. “[On] all of the previous albums, we pretty much create the sound we have live, and this is no exception,” he explains. “I think some people appreciate that. We recorded with Patrick Hills, a local guy that’s getting a lot of local business, and he did a really good job. [The album] has got a nice, big studio sound.”

Hills records out of Earthtone Recording Company, on 18th and D streets in Sacramento. According to Haakenson, Hills even sings a bit on the album. “The line, ‘He had sex in

the Fox and Goose bathroom,’ on the song ‘Networker’ … [We asked him], ‘since we just need to do this one part, in lieu of us coming in, can you just sing that part yourself on there?’”

“I’d go with him again,” Haakenson says of working with Hills. “He was great to work with.”

As for the direction of the album lyrically, the songwriting narrative also took a thematic direction for Haakenson. From beginning to end, But to Hate God … tells the story of the human experience, from the life of a teenager through middle age.

“From song-to-song, each song is talking about a narrative environment that goes chronologically through the life of a person,” Haakenson says. “From the beginning song, about teenage brothers doing mushrooms, the second song is about some 19-year-olds about to travel the world, the third song is about that point when you see your social circle growing,” and so on, finishing up with the final tale, “which is probably the one that is the most autobiographical … talking about a guy that’s ripped off so he sends in a complaint to a regulatory office.”

Speaking of deja vu, a few of the tracks on the new album are leftovers from BBBR’s previous release, which was entirely comprised of commission

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Having finally wrapped up the remaining obligations in regards to his Kickstarter campaign from the previous album, Haakenson is free to let inspiration come naturally.

“That’s usually how it happens,” he said. “I think when you leave it up to such random choices, and I’ll admit I don’t write as frequently as I should. I realize now it’s better to just experience life itself, and just wait for inspiration to strike.”

Help Be Brave Bold Robot make new memories at the Fox and Goose on Jan. 20 at their CD release show. Also performing will be Chili Sauce and Bellygunner. A $10 cover charge will get you in the door as well as a copy of BBBR’s new album, But to Hate God Do Get a Hot Tub. Fox and Goose is located at 1001 R St., Sacramento. For more info, go to Foxandgoose.com.

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“I did a Kickstarter, it got funded, and I had put a price point of $100, and I should have set it higher, because the promise was you get all this merch and a new album, but I will also write you a song. I realized, ‘Oh shit, I have to write this whole song, and I have a deadline.’ That was fun, and I think that it does help for me to have a deadline, to get some creative work done. But, also it’s a little stressful.

So ‘Hiking’ and ‘Better Late’ were from these fulfillments I had to make.”

While the experience was a bit taxing, due to the deadline, Haakenson has used this method of songwriting in prior work.

“In the past I’ve written other songs for people that had said: ‘write this’ or recommended this … and I crafted a whole song around it,” he says. “There was an older song of mine that was on the first album I put out, back then I wrote this song about a grandmother who raises her grandson, and in the lyrics, it’s evident that the child is young, and the child gets older, and

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at the end, he’s talking to his partner, he’s asking her to go over to his grandma’s house and look after her.

And one of the last lines is, ‘Shambling idle gait,’ which is the literal definition for a shuffle. That whole song came out of somebody’s [idea] to write a song about that, using that phrase.”

“Bands are funny little things. I’m sure you’ve heard all the cliches: a marriage, but with five people.”

– Dean Haakenson on Be Brave Bold Robot’s longevity

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“On this album, two of the songs, ‘Better Late’ and ‘Hiking’ were songs that I wrote to fulfill an obligation from the Kickstarter [campaign] from the last album we put out in 2015 [Press E to Continue],” says Haakenson.

2408 21st st • Sac • sacramentobarbershop.com (916) 457-1120 • Tues-Fri 9am-6pm • saT 10am-4pm Issue 231 • January 16 – January 30, 2017

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Press Club The Afterlife, Tropicali Flames, 8 p.m.

Shine Speak Out! Sacramento Open Mic, 8 p.m.

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Cafe Colonial The Cardboard Swords, Long Knives, Micah Schnabel, Mallard, 8 p.m.

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Crest Theatre Timothy B Schmit (of The Eagles), 6:30 p.m.

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Harlow’s Stick Men (feat. members of King Crimson), 6:30 p.m.

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Blue Lamp Lazy Boy, Shady Nate, 8 p.m.

Old Ironsides Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Pine Cove Open Mic Night, 9 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Live Band Karaoke, 8 p.m.

Issue 231 • January 16 – January 30, 2017

Wednesday

Blue Lamp Gazebos, Boyfriends, 8 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m.

26

Torch Club Richard March, 5:30 p.m.; ZuhG, Rubbidy Bubbidy, 8 p.m.

Bar 101 Karaoke, 7:30 p.m.

Capitol Garage Karaoke w/ Jeff Jenkins, 10 p.m.

Club Car Songwriters Showcase, 8 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Louie’s Cocktail Lounge Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Old Ironsides Open Acoustic Jam, 7 p.m.

Pine Cove Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub High Noon, 9:30 p.m.

Shine Sac’s Coolest Jazz Jam, 8 p.m.

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Torch Club Mind X, 5:30 p.m.; Duke Evers Band, Jessica Malone, 9 p.m.

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Ace of Spades Iration, Protoje, 7 p.m.

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Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Fox & Goose Be Brave Bold Robot (Album Release), Chili Sauce, Bellygunner, 9 p.m.

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The Park Ultra Lounge DJ Elements, 10 p.m.

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Fox & Goose Chicken & Dumpling, 8 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Moonshine Crazy, 10 p.m.

Harlow’s Led Kaapana, Fran Guidry, 5:30 p.m.

Press Club DJ Rue, 9 p.m.

Harris Center for the Arts DRUMLine, 7 p.m.

Pine Cove Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Red Hawk Casino Nathan Owens Band, 9:30 p.m.

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

VOTED BEST COMEDY CLUB BY THE SACRAMENTO NEWS & REVIEW!

1.22

THURSDAY 1/19 - SUNDAY 1/22

JORDAN ROCK

1.23

FROM NETFLIX’S LOVE & LAST COMIC STANDING!

THURSDAY 1/26 - SATURDAY 1/28

Sage the Gemini Oke Junior Ace of Spades 7 p.m.

Cross Atlantic Hannah Jane Kile Goldfield 7 p.m.

CHRIS KATTAN FROM CORKY ROMANO & SNL!

Shine Deacon Free, Colin Curtin’s Kingdom, 8 p.m.

Sol Collective DJ Abilities (of Rhymesayers/Eyedea & Abilities), Hobo Johnson, The Philharmonik, SpaceWalker, Sparks Across Darkness, Dubldragon and More, 6:30 p.m.

The Stag (Woodland) The Ghost Town Rebellion, Black Crosses, Frack, 8 p.m.

Starlite Lounge Leonard Cohen Tribute Show feat.

David Houston, The Rippers, Grave Lake, Eugene Ugly, Wayne Jetski, Bad Outlets, The Famous Blue Raincoats, 8 p.m.

Station 1 Alex Jenkins Trio, 8:30 p.m.

Stoney’s OH! the Band, 9 p.m.

Streets Pub and Grub DJ Night, 9 p.m.

Torch Club Midtown Creepers, 5:30 p.m.; Steven Roth Band, 9 p.m.

UC Davis: Jackson Hall Curtis Chamber Orchestra, 3 & 8 p.m.

Yolo Brew Co. Band in the Beer Hall: The New Up, 6 p.m.

1.21 Saturday

Ace of Spades Iration, Protoje, 7 p.m.

Bar 101 Scotty Vox, 9:30 p.m.

Bella Bru Cafe (Carmichael) The Outcome, 8 p.m.

Berryessa Brewing Co. Muddy Waders, 3 p.m.

Blue Lamp Sages, Tens Upon Thousands, Black Knight Satellite, Mechanizm, 8 p.m.

Brickhouse Gallery Reggae and Hip-Hop Night Hosted by DJ Niko, 7 p.m.

Cache Creek Casino The Whispers, 8 p.m.

Center for the Arts Jesse Cook, 8 p.m.

Community Center Theater Sacramento Philharmonic and Opera Presents: Vivaldi’s “The Four Seasons,” 8 p.m.

Crest Theatre Under The Street Lamp, 6:30 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m.

El Dorado Saloon The Ruckus Band, 10 p.m.

Fox & Goose Massive Delicious Duo, Full Time Mystic, 9 p.m.

Guild Theater Unity Talent Show Benefit Performance, 4 p.m.

Harris Center for the Arts: Stage 1 Mark Hummel’s Ultimate Harmonica Blowout w/ Howard Levy, Corky Siegel, Duke Robillard, Jason Ricci, Son of Dave!, 7:30 p.m.

Harris Center for the Arts: Stage 3 Sacramento Baroque Soloists: Voice of the Cello, 7:30 p.m.

KBAR Z Rokk, 9 p.m.

Kupros Craft House Michael Ray, 9:30 p.m.

Luna’s Cafe Tom Kent & Duncan Elledge, Mrs Joe, The Turkish Tongues, 7 p.m.

Midtown BarFly Technosaic feat. Vince Lombardi, BenJam, Robert Turquoise, Scottie Scribbles, 9:30 p.m.

Mondavi Center: Jackson Hall Curtis on Tour: Curtis Chamber Orchestra, 3 p.m.

Nicholson’s MusiCafe Free Ukulele Class, 1 p.m.

Old Ironsides Vasas, Donald Beaman, Experimental Dental School, 9 p.m.

The Park Ultra Lounge DJ Eddie Edul, 10 p.m.

Pine Cove Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Frank Hannon, 10 p.m.

Press Club DJ Larry Rodriguez, 9 p.m.

Red Hawk Casino Nathan Owens Band, 10 p.m.

Shine The Jingle Monks, The Remainders, 8 p.m.

Starlite Lounge Graveshadow, Niviane, Astral Cult, Solanum, Motorize, 8 p.m.

Station 1 Four Guys From Reno, 8:30 p.m.

Torch Club Aaron King Band, 5:30 p.m.

1.22 sunday

24th Street Theatre Camellia Symphony Orchestra’s String Quartet, 3 p.m.

Ace of Spades August Burns Red, Protest The Hero, In Hearts Wake, ‘68, 6:30 p.m.

Berryessa Brewing Co. Sourdough Slim and Robert Armstrong, 3 p.m.

Cache Creek Casino Ms. Rosanna Lui, Mr. Roger Yang, 1 & 4 p.m.

Capitol Garage Karaoke w/ Jeff Jenkins, 9 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 8 p.m.

Goldfield Cross Atlantic, Hannah Jane Kile, 7 p.m.

Harlow’s Metalachi, 7 p.m.

Harris Center for the Arts: Stage 1 Melinda Doolittle, 2 p.m.

Harris Center for the Arts: Stage 3 Sacramento Baroque Soloists: Voice of the Cello, 2 & 7:30 p.m.

Torch Club Blues Jam, 4 p.m.; Front the Band, 8 p.m.

1.23

THURSDAY 2/9 - SATURDAY 2/11

OWEN BENJAMIN

Blue Lamp The Spotlight: Open Mic, 9 p.m.

FROM SULLIVAN & SON!

Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Fox & Goose Open Mic Night, 7:30 p.m.

Louie’s Cocktail Lounge Karaoke, 9 p.m.

CALL CLUB FOR SHOWTIMES: (916) 925-5500

2100 ARDEN WAY • IN THE HOWE ‘BOUT ARDEN SHOPPING CENTER

2 DRINK MINIMUM. 18 & OVER. I.D. REQUIRED.

TICKETS AVAILABLE AT THE CLUB BOX OFFICE WITH NO SERVICE CHARGE. TWITTER.COM/PUNCHLINESAC • FACEBOOK.COM/PLSAC

WWW.PUNCHLINESAC.COM

LowBrau Motown on Monday’s w/ DJ Epik, 9 p.m.

Luna’s Cafe Nebraska Mondays hosted by Ross Hammond, 7:30 p.m.

101 Main St.

RoSeville

Old Ironsides Heath Williamson & friends, 5:30 p.m.

1.24 Tuesday

916-774-0505

BaR101RoSeville.coM /BaR101RoSeville

free live music Fri & Sat 9:30PM friday January 20

Tsaturday w o PJanuary e a c21e

Ace of Spades Switchfoot, Relient K, 6:30 p.m.

Crest Theatre Eric Johnson, 6:30 p.m.

S cfriday o T TJanuary y V27o x

Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Dive Bar Mino’ Yanci’, 9:30 p.m.

Midtown BarFly Factor IX w/ DJ Bryan Hawk, DJ CarnieRobber and Guests, 9 p.m.

Old Ironsides Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Pine Cove Open Mic Night, 9 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Live Band Karaoke, 8 p.m.

Torch Club Gavin Canaan, 5:30 p.m.; Mind X, 8 p.m.

The saturday InSIde STory January 28 dan Te ZaPaTa friday february 10

Broken & Mended at Trivia monDays 6:30PM open mic WeDnesDays Sign-uPS 7:30PM ThursDay comeDy open mic nighT 9PM

lunch/ Dinner

The Red Museum No Age, Drug Apts, The Croissants, 6:30 p.m.

Starlite Lounge Ash Borer, Minenwerfer, VRTRA, 8 p.m. continued on page 28

SubmergeMag.com

FROM THE OCCASIONALLY AWESOME PODCAST!

monday

Kupros Craft House Open Mic, 8 p.m.

Press Club Sunday Night Soul Party w/ DJ Larry Rodriguez, 9 p.m.

NICK YOUSSEF

Ace of Spades Sage the Gemini, Oke Junior, 7 p.m.

Highwater Hillstomp, 8:30 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Daniel Castro, 3 p.m.

THURSDAY 2/2 - SATURDAY 2/4

>>

7

Day s a Week

Issue 231 • January 16 – January 30, 2017

*33*

Beers on Tap!

27

1.27

1.28

The Inciters The Toasters, Sacto Storytellers, At Both Ends Blue Lamp 8 p.m.

1.25 wednesday

Bar 101 Open Mic, 7:30 p.m.

Blue Lamp Tresolid, Boney Jay, Saucy Da Profit, Ju Astaire, Zelly, Pyro, Du$$E Bigalow, Nick Boy, Tiffany Nikole, 9 p.m.

Golden Bear DJ CrookOne, 10 p.m.

Cafe Colonial FEA, Kristeen Young, Destroy Boys, 8 p.m.

Club Car Songwriters Showcase, 8 p.m.

Gold Country Lanes (Sutter Creek) C.T. Locke: DJ, Sing & Dance, 6:30 p.m.

Coopers Ale Works The Ghost Town Rebellion, 8 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Dive Bar Dueling Pianos, 9 p.m.

Fox & Goose According to Bazooka, 8 p.m.

Harlow’s Mac Sabbath, 7 p.m.

Harrah’s Lake Tahoe Railroad Earth, 7:30 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Louie’s Cocktail Lounge Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Fox & Goose All Vinyl Wednesdays w/ DJ AAKnuff, 8 p.m.

Harlow’s Giant Panda Guerilla Dub Squad, Drunken Kung Fu, 7 p.m.

Harris Center for the Arts Jeffrey Siegel, 7 p.m.

Laughs Unlimited Karaoke, 8 p.m.

Nicholson’s MusiCafe Acoustic Open Mic, 6 p.m.

Old Ironsides Open Mic, 9 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub 98 Rock Local Licks Live, 8 p.m.

Streets Pub and Grub Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Torch Club Singer-Songwriter Showcase in the Round, 5:30 p.m.; Peter Petty’s Double P Revue, 9 p.m.

University Union Redwood Room, CSUS Nooner w/ Humble Wolf, 12 p.m.

1.26 Thursday

Bar 101 Karaoke, 7:30 p.m.

Blue Lamp Kuzzo Fly, 9 p.m.

Cafe Colonial Greg Rekus, The Polyorchids, Sonder, Tim Williamson, 8 p.m.

Capitol Garage Karaoke w/ Jeff Jenkins, 10 p.m.

28

Center for the Arts Robert Earl Keen, 7:30 p.m.

Club Car The Double Shots, 7:30 p.m.

El Dorado Saloon Open Mic Night, 7:30 p.m.

Issue 231 • January 16 – January 30, 2017

Golden Cadillacs Torch Club 5:30 p.m.

Pine Cove Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Sweet Revenge, 9:30 p.m.

Press Club Dustin Lovelis, K Skelton, The Rippers, Pregnant, 8 p.m.

Shine Sac’s Coolest Jazz Jam, 8 p.m.

Social Night Club Wax Motif, Wuki, 10 p.m.

Starlite Lounge The Kennedy Veil, Flub, The Odious Construct, Cyborg Octopus, 8 p.m.

Harlow’s Tainted Love, 9 p.m.

Harris Center for the Arts Larry Carlton, 8 p.m.

Kupros Craft House Harley White Jr Trio, 9 p.m.

Nicholson’s MusiCafe Open Mic Night, 6 p.m.

Old Ironsides Mark Eitzel, Howe Grib, Holiday Flyer, 9 p.m.

Pine Cove Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub 8 Track Massacre, 10 p.m.

Press Club DJ Rue, 9 p.m.

Red Hawk Casino The Spazmatics, 9:30 p.m.

Sacramento State: Music Recital Hall Boyce Jeffries Jr., 7:30 p.m.

Shine Deer Park Ave., Iscariot, 8 p.m.

Starlite Lounge Armed for Apocalypse, Aequorea, Runespoor, 8 p.m.

Stoney’s 27 Outlaws Band, 8 p.m.

Station 1 Sisters Swing, 8:30 p.m.

Torch Club Mind X, 5:30 p.m.; Island of Black & White, Sam Chase, 9 p.m.

Stoney’s Whiskey Maiden, Sandy Nuyts, 7 p.m.

1.27 FRIDAY

Ace of Spades Tribal Seeds, Raging Fyah, Rattali Rize, 6:30 p.m.

Bar 101 The Inside Story, 9:30 p.m.

Blue Lamp The Toasters, The Inciters, Sacto Storytellers, At Both Ends, 8 p.m.

Cache Creek Casino Blue Oyster Cult, 8 p.m.

Capitol Garage Fyah Fridays w/ DJ Jaytwo, 10 p.m.

Crest Theatre Lucinda Williams, 6:30 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Fox & Goose Duke Chevalier, Sunmonks, 9 p.m.

Crest Theatre Raffi: 40 Years of Singable Songs, 1 & 4 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m.

El Dorado Saloon The Jax Hammer Band, 10 p.m.

Folsom High School The 28th Annual Folsom Jazz Festival feat. The Sacramento State Jazz Orchestra and More, 7 a.m. - 10 p.m.

Fox & Goose Mr. P Chill, DJ Mike Colossal, 9 p.m.

Goldfield Adelitas Way, Control, 7 p.m.

Harlow’s Tainted Love, 9 p.m.

Harris Center for the Arts Sergio Mendes, 7:30 p.m.

KBAR Z Rokk, 9 p.m.

Luna’s Cafe David Houston & String Theory, 8 p.m.

Mondavi Center: Jackson Hall PKF: Prague Philharmonia, 8 p.m.

Nicholson’s MusiCafe Free Ukulele Class, 1 p.m.

Old Ironsides Ogres, The Collyer Bros, 9 p.m.

Pine Cove Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Streets Pub and Grub DJ Night, 9 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Danny Click, 10 p.m.

Torch Club Lew & Jimmy, 5:30 p.m.; Bacon Fest’s Annual Kevin Bacon Tribute Show, 9 p.m.

Press Club DJ Larry Rodriguez, 9 p.m.

Yolo Brew Co. Band in the Beer Hall: Naked Walrus, 6 p.m.

1.28 Saturday

Bar 101 Dante Zapata, 9:30 p.m.

Berryessa Brewing Co. The Polyorchids, 3 p.m.

Bet Haverim Synogogue (Davis) Chamber Music Society’s Tour Du Monde: United States, 7:30 p.m.

Blue Lamp Lemuria, Mikey Erg, Little Tents, 8 p.m.

Red Hawk Casino Big Bad Boogie Rock, 10 p.m.

Rolling Hills Christian Church The 28th Annual Folsom Jazz Festival feat. American River College Jazz Choir, Dave Pietro Group and More, 7 a.m. - 10 p.m.

Sacramento City College Performing Arts Center Premier Orchestra Winter Concerto Concert, 7:30 p.m.

Shine Mau, Watt Ave Soul Giants, Spidermeow, 8 p.m.

Starlite Lounge Korean Fire Drill, White Knuckle Riot, 8 p.m.

Station 1 Harley White Jr Trio, 8:30 p.m.

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

Stoney’s Cripple Creek, 7 p.m.

Torch Club Golden Cadillacs, 5:30 p.m.; Black Market III, 9 p.m.

Yolo Brew Co. Band in the Beer Hall: One Mile, 6 p.m.

1.29 Sunday

Blue Lamp Reggae Night w/ Sol Seed & The Spark, 9 p.m.

Capitol Garage Karaoke w/ Jeff Jenkins, 9 p.m.

Center for the Arts Black Violin, The Music in the Mountains Youth Orchestra, 7:30 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 8 p.m.

District 30 The Lique & Friends, 7:30 p.m.

Goldfield Demun Jones, 7:30 p.m.

Harlow’s Heart of the City Concert: Big Mike Hart’s 30th Birthday Bash w/ Kenny Lattimore, 7 p.m.

Midtown BarFly Factor IX w/ DJ Bryan Hawk, DJ CarnieRobber and Guests, 9 p.m.

Mix Jessica Who, DJ Gabe Xavier, 9 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Dennis Jones, 3 p.m.

Press Club Red City Radio, Bastards of Young, Urban Wolves, 5 p.m.; Sunday Night Soul Party w/ DJ Larry Rodriguez, 9 p.m.

Sacramento State Music Recital Hall Chamber Music Society’s Tour Du Monde: United States, 4 p.m.

Comedy Laughs Unlimited Best of Open Mic Showcase, Jan. 17, 8 p.m.

Say It Loud Presented by Michael Calvin Jr. feat. Chris Riggins, Nicole Blue, Feel Woods and More, Jan. 19, 8 p.m.

Rodger Lizaola feat. Ryan Chan, Jan. 20 - 22, Fri. & Sat., 8 & 10:30 p.m.; Sun., 7 p.m.

JR De Guzman, Connor Martin, Andre Morton, Diego Curiel, Jan. 26, 8 p.m.

Insane Wayne feat. Kristopher Covi, Jan. 27 - 29, Fri. & Sat., 8 & 10:30 p.m.; Sun., 7 p.m.

Luna’s Cafe Open Mic Comedy Hosted by Jaime Fernandez, every Tuesday, 7:30 p.m.

Momo Sacramento Comedy Burger w/ Ngaio Bealum and Guests, Jan. 22, 7 p.m.

Punch Line Robert Berry’s Sacramento Comedy Showcase feat.

Johnny Taylor, Jason Bargert, Parker Newman, Becky Lynn, Melissa McGillicuddy and More, Jan. 18, 8 p.m.

Jordan Rock, Max Curry, Cory ‘Showtime’ Robinson, Jan. 19 22, Thurs., 8 p.m.; Fri., 8 & 10 p.m.; Sat., 8 & 10 p.m.; Sun., 7 p.m.

Steve Hofstetter: Comedy Without Apology, Jan. 25, 8 p.m.

Chris Kattan, Ray Molina, Sandra Risser, Kiry Shabazz, Daniel Humbarger, Jan. 26 - 28, Thurs., 8 p.m.; Fri., 8 & 10 p.m.; Sat., 8 & 10 p.m.

Lance Woods and Friends, Jan. 29, 7 p.m.

Station 1 John Daversa Small Band, 7:30 p.m.

Sacramento Comedy Spot Open Mic, Sunday’s and Monday’s, 8 p.m.

Stoney’s Bobby Zoppi & The Corduroys, 5 p.m.

Improv Taste Test and Harold Night, Wednesday’s, 7 - 10 p.m.

Torch Club Blues Jam, 4 p.m.; Front the Band, 8 p.m.

Cage Match and Improv Jam, Thursday’s, 8 - 10 p.m.

1.30 monday

Blue Lamp The Spotlight: Open Mic, 9 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Fox & Goose Open Mic Night, 7:30 p.m.

Louie’s Cocktail Lounge Karaoke, 9 p.m.

LowBrau Motown on Monday’s w/ DJ Epik, 9 p.m.

Luna’s Cafe Nebraska Mondays hosted by Ross Hammond, 7:30 p.m.

Old Ironsides Heath Williamson & friends, 5:30 p.m.

SubmergeMag.com

Anti-Cooperation League, Saturday’s, 9 p.m.

Tommy T’s Steve McGrew, Jan. 20 - 22 Sinbad, Jan. 27 - 28

Misc.

20th Street (Between J and K) Midtown Farmers Market, every Saturday, 9 a.m. - 2 p.m.

B Street Theatre Mainstage Series: Becoming Dr. Ruth, Through Feb. 26

Cal Expo International Sportsmen’s Expo, Jan. 19 - 22 Colonial Theatre Louder than Wolves - Taking a Stand Against Rape Culture: Dance, Short Films, Music, Spoken Word and More, Jan. 28, 8 p.m.

1/2

PAGE

Crest Theatre Film Screening: Babe, Jan. 22, 4 p.m.

Ad SizeS for every Budget!

Crocker Art Museum Kingsley Art Club Lecture Series: William Ishmael: Yes Virginia, There is a Second Life, Jan. 18, 1:15 p.m.

Highest Heaven: Spanish and Portuguese Colonial Art from the Roberta and Richard Huber Collection, Through Jan 22 Reuniting the Masters: European Drawings from West Coast Collections, Through Feb. 5 A Show of Force: Sculpture by Allan Houser (Haozous) feat.

Recent Gifts from Loren G. Lipson, Through Feb. 26

1/8

PAGE

Golden 1 Center Monster Jam: Triple Threat Series, Jan. 20 - 22

1/12

Professional Bull Riders: Built Ford Tough Series, Jan. 27 - 29

PAGE

Great Escape Games Toy, Game, and Pop Culture Expo, Jan. 21, 12 - 6 p.m.

Harlow’s The Sizzling Sirens Burlesque Experience Presents: The Last Show, Jan. 21, 7:30 p.m.

Historic Old Folsom Farmers’ Market, Saturdays, 8 a.m.

Kupros Craft House Trivia with Triviology 101, Sundays, 7:30 p.m.

Laughs Unlimited The Sweet Spot Sacramento: Mardi Gras Edition feat. Erotic Poetry, Burlesque, Music, Fashion, Comedy and More, Jan. 25, 8 p.m.

1/4

PAGE

Luna’s Cafe Poetry Unplugged, every Thursday, 8 p.m.

McClellan Conference Center The Art of Beer Invitational: 30-Plus Breweries, Farm-toFork Food, Art Exhibit and More, Jan. 27, 5:30 - 10 p.m.

Midtown BarFly Salsa Lessons, every Wednesday, 8 p.m.

Mondavi Center: Jackson Hall Les Ballets Trockadero de Monte Carlo, Jan. 29, 7 p.m.

Oak Park Brewing Co. Trivia Night, every Sunday, 8 p.m.

Outlet Coworking Opening Reception for Fabulous Debris by Jason Malmberg, Jan. 21, 7 p.m.

B3 Series: The Christians, Through Feb. 11

Starlite Lounge Darling Clementines: Adult Variety Show, Jan. 18, 7 p.m.

Blue Cue Trivia NIght, Wednesday’s, 9 p.m.

Streets Pub and Grub Pub Trivia, Sundays, 8 p.m.

Blue Lamp MoxieCrush Burlesque & Comedy Show, Jan. 20, 8 p.m.

Various Downtown Sacramento Restaurants Sacramento Bacon Fest, Jan. 23 - 28

The Boxing Donkey Trivia Night, every Tuesday, 8 p.m.

WAL Public Market Art Exhibit: (WAL)Flowers by Tyson Anthony Roberts, Through March 1

Contact Us Now for Rates

916.441.3803

info@submergemag.com Issue 231 • January 16 – January 30, 2017

29

saturday

feB 4

friday

Mar 3

PLayinG “autuMn of tHe seraPHs” in its entirety + More

the shallow end The Big One

James Barone jb@submergemag.com

witH sPeciaL Guests

JoHnny tayLor (coMedy) and Modern Man

ace of SpadeS • 1417 r Street Sacto • all aGeS • 8:00pM

Goldfield • 1630 j Street Sacto • 18 & over • 7:30pM

Gazebos

tuesday

jan 17

boyfriends

Blu e l a mp • 14 0 0 a lh a mBr a Blv d • sacr a mento • 21 & over • 7:0 0pm

stick Men

feat. tony Levin, Markus reuter, Pat MasteLotto (MeMbers of kinG criMson and Peter GabrieL)

harlow’s

•

2708

J

street

•

sacramento

•

21

&

over

•

Mark eitzeL (aMerican Music cLub) Howe GeLb (Giant sand)

old IronsIdes • 1901 10

friday

jan 27

street • sacramento • 21 & over • 9:00pm

tHe brotHers coMatose

harlow’s

harlow’s

•

•

2708

J

brandy zdan

street

•

sacramento

•

21

&

tHe revivaLists

2708

J

street

con brio •

sacramento

•

21

&

over

•

saturday

feB 11 9:30pm

Wednesday

feB 15 over

•

8:00pm

tHe infaMous strinGdusters the laws of gravIty tour

harlow’s

•

harlow’s

•

harlow’s

•

HorsesHoes and Hand Grenades J

street

•

sacramento

•

21

&

over

•

7:00pm

2708

J

street

•

sacramento

•

21

&

over

•

8:00pm

aLo + rabbit wiLde cHicano batMan J

Sad • Girl 79.5

street

•

sacramento

•

21

&

over

thrusday

feB 16

2708

2708

jan 17

7:30pm

HoLiday fLyer

th

tuesday

sunday

feB 19 Wednesday

Mar 1 •

8:00pm

Mike watt + tHe MissinGMen toys tHat kiLL

friday

Mar 3

o l d I r o n s I d e s • 19 0 1 1 0 th s t r e e t • s a c r a m e n t o • 2 1 & o v e r • 8 : 0 0 p m

Pure batHinG cuLture G. Love & sPeciaL sauce

harlow’s

harlow’s

•

•

2708

2708

J

J

street

•

sacramento

city of tHe sun

street

•

sacramento

•

•

21

21

&

&

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over

•

•

Wednesday 8:00pm

sunday

Mar 19 8:00pm

cLaP your Hands say yeaH

harlow’s

•

2708

J

vita and tHe wooLf

street

•

sacramento

•

21

&

over

•

harlow’s

harlow’s

•

•

2708

J

street

•

sacramento

Mitski

•

21

&

Kadhja Bonet • Mal deviSa

2708

J

street

•

sacramento

•

21

&

over

•

Wednesday

Mar 22

8:00pm

yonder Mountain strinG band LiL’ sMokies

Mar 15

Wednesday

apr 5

8:00pm

tuesday

apr 11 over

•

8:00pm

aLL tickets avaiLabLe at: abstractPresents.coM & eventbrite.coM tickets for HarLow’s sHows aLso avaiLabLe at HarLows.coM tickets for bLue LaMP sHows aLso bLueLaMPsacraMento.coM ticKetS for ace of SpadeS alSo availaBle at aceofSpadeSSac.coM & 916.443.9202

30

Issue 231 • January 16 – January 30, 2017

I mentioned in a column around election time that I’d been watching a lot of clips of George Carlin on YouTube. I loved his work so much and I still do because he’d incite in me an inner debate. Sometimes what he said made me laugh (most of the time), and other times I’d be almost infuriated by some of his brash statements about people or America or religion, but even in those moments, he said things that struck a chord with me, whether I wanted them to or not.

He has this one bit about natural disasters, and he asked the audience, “Don’t you have a secret part of you that always hopes it gets worse?” Unfortunately, I do. Like Carlin later admits in the same bit, he doesn’t want to see anyone get hurt (he used the example of firemen putting out a raging wildfire, in this case), but who doesn’t love a good storm?

When I was a kid in the Northeast, I couldn’t wait for snow storms. I’m not talking about the common 3-inch variety. Those were boring.

They’d frost up the car, grass and maybe a bit of the roads, but as soon as the sun came out, all that really would remain was the gray, exhauststained piles at the end of everyone’s driveways.

I always rooted for the world-stopping 2-footers: howling winds, driving snow, life and traffic grinding to a halt. I’d always be disappointed when the meteorologist would come on-air and say something like, “Good news, the new weather models are showing the worst of it will now be to our north and west.” North and west of the city always got the best snows. Over on the coast, we’d get an eventual change over to rain, which was always a fucking bummer.

But I’d be so excited when they would come on and say, “We now expect the heaviest accumulations along the coast.” And it wasn’t just me who was excited—hoping this meant school would be closed and I could have a highly coveted snow day—but I’d see the twinkle in the meteorologist’s eye too. He or she didn’t want a run-of-the-mill winter “rain event” either. They were hoping for the big one.

I’ve lived through a few of those storms in my life. They’re fucking spectacular. If you’ve never sat inside through a blizzard, or were brave enough to venture out and walk around in one, I highly suggest you put that near the top of your bucket list. The wind kind of sounds like glass breaking far in the distance.

The only problem is, once it gets started, I never want it to stop, like Carlin talking about

springtime rains flooding the Midwest, I just want it to keep snowing and snowing and snowing and snowing …

Maybe it’s a morbid curiosity that we all have. Maybe that’s why northbound traffic always slows even when the major accident is on the southbound side of the freeway. I just want to see what would happen. What would happen if it just started snowing and didn’t stop for a year or so? What would we do? Who would we become? Would we ever be able to dig out?

How long can you play a game of Monopoly before you’ve done permanent harm to your relationships with your friends and family? These are all big questions.

That’s probably why they’re so fascinating.

You never get a chance to answer questions like these in your everyday life. You get, “Hey Kristen, did Evan ever get back to you about that email? Would you circle back to him after lunch?” You know, the things that seem important until something crazy happens, something like an Act of God that makes you realize that they’re really not.

So I ended up watching Donald Trump’s first press conference as president-elect, which, given my inclination for hoping things get worse, was a huge mistake. I figured that I had to, though. I figured, hey, you’ve got to see this. It’s better just to face your fears and realize that it’s really not going to be as bad as you think it’s going to be. I should preface this by saying that going in I was blissfully unaware about the dossier that Buzzfeed had leaked, which CNN had reported on. I was just expecting some mumbo-jumbo I didn’t really understand or care about regarding what’s going to happen to his business interests now that he’s president. I giggled when I saw all the manila envelopes filled with mystery documents laid out on the table next to the podium, figuring they were probably just stuffed with blank printer paper, because it looked like something you’d do for show and tell.

Then some little dude got up there first and started squealing until he was red in the face about fake news and the media is bullshit or whatever and I felt it creep up in me. That hope that this would just get worse, and the worse it got, the happier it made me. “Why are you watching this?” my wife asked as the whole thing devolved further into a playground spat over dodgeball. “I don’t know,” I answered. But I knew, I just didn’t want to admit it.

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

SubmergeMag.com

Issue 231 • January 16 – January 30, 2017

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Dive into Sacramento & its Surrounding Areas

january 16 – 30, 2017 • # 231

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ryan seng artist, bartender, entrepreneur

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