Submerge Magazine: Issue 202 (December 7 - 21, 2015)

Dive into Sacramento & its Surrounding Areas december 7 – 21, 2015

#202

Pauly Shore The Show Must Go On

Café Plan B

Moules et Frites for Just a few Francs

8

Annual Holiday Gift Guide We Got Ya th

Ho Ho Ho Right Here!

Jackie Greene Back to Basics

Element Brass Band Heat Up Hotlanta Yosemite

Ditch the Crowds and Get Back to Nature

Unsilent Night

Caroling Goes Digital

Graveshadow Ready to Rise

free

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Issue 202 • December 7 – December 21, 2015

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

SubmergeMag.com

Issue 202 • December 7 – December 21, 2015

3

dive in

cofounder/ Editor in Chief/Art Director

Melissa Welliver melissa@submergemag.com Submerge: an independently owned entertainment/lifestyle publication available for free biweekly throughout the greater Sacramento area.

202 2015

december 7 – 21

14

Dive in Submerge your senses

08

The Stream

09

The Optimistic Pessimist

12 13

Outside the 9-to-5

Escaping crowds in Yosemite happy hour hound

Café Plan B

senior editor

James Barone

Contributing Writers

Contributing photographers

Submerge

916.441.3803 info@submergemag.com

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graveshadow jackie greene holiday gift guide Calendar pauly shore on the road with

element brass band the shallow end

Melissa welliver melissa@submergemag.com

Daniel Taylor

1009 22nd Street, Suite 3 Sacramento, California 95816

14 16 18 26 30 33

holidaze

Assistant Editor

Wesley Davis, Evan E. Duran, Jackie Howard, Mike Ibe, Phill Mamula, Nicholas Wray

12 04 06

Jonathan Carabba jonathan@submergemag.com

Zach Ahern, Amber Amey, Robin Bacior, Ellen Baker, Bocephus Chigger, Ronnie Cline, Justin Cox, Alia Cruz, Josh Fernandez, Catherine Foss, Andy Garcia, Fabian Garcia, Blake Gillespie, Lovelle Harris, Eddie Jorgensen, Niki Kangas, Derek Kaplan, Nur Kausar, John Phillips, Ryan Prado, Andrew C. Russell, Amy Serna, Jacob Sprecher

13

16

cofounder/ Advertising Director

All content is property of Submerge and may not be reproduced without permission. Submerge is both owned and published by Submerge Media.

All opinions expressed throughout Submerge are those of the author and do not necessarily mean we all share those opinions. Feel free to take a copy or two for free, but please don’t remove our papers or throw them away. Submerge welcomes letters of all kinds, whether they are full of love or hate. We want to know what is on your mind, so feel free to contact us via snail mail at 1009 22nd Street, Suite 3 Sacramento, California 95816.

Or you can email us at info@submergemag.com.

Front Cover of jackie greene by york Wilson back Cover Photo of graveshadow

by Julian Mendoza

Submergemag.com Follow us on Twitter & Instagram! @SubmergeMag

Once again, the holidays are upon us, which means I’ve got certain damn Christmas-y songs stuck in my head, like “Linus and Lucy” (the Peanuts theme song) by Vince Guaraldi; the version of “All I Want for Christmas Is You” sung by Mariah Carey; and freaking Lady Gaga and Tony Bennett’s take on “Baby, It’s Cold Outside,” thanks to the new Barnes & Noble commercial that’s on TV five times an hour. But what can you do?! The brain is a complex memory beast and ... it’s obviously THE HOLIDAYS. What you can and must do, however, is shop for your loved ones. Thus, once again, we’re here to help you figure out gift ideas for those special people on your list. You can find our Eighth Annual Holiday Gift Guide starting on page 18!

Off the topic of the holidays, I’d like to reiterate that we have been running a new column for the past few months, called “Happy Hour Hound.” We thought it would be a fun way to mix up our food coverage. So when we’re not interviewing chefs, bartenders or restaurant owners, we’re giving you the scoop on some of the best happy hours around town. Happy hours are a great way to explore a new menu on a budget. In this issue, you can read about our contributor Nur Kausar’s experience at Café Plan B, starting on page 13.

Speaking of new columns, you can find the debut of “Outside the 9-to-5” in this issue as well, on page 12. New contributor Ellen Baker plans on sharing with you, our readers, her epic (and not-so-epic) outdoor adventures in/near/around Sacramento. Because Ellen is out there constantly exploring, this column will run every other issue. That’s approximately once a month, my friends.

This column kicks off with Ellen telling you a little about herself but focuses on helping you explore and escape the crowds in beautiful Yosemite. We love it and hope you do as well.

Remember to always read Submerge, and then get out there and explore the best our region has to offer!

The Sacramento area, with all the amazing things to do and see, now that’s the real gift. Am I right?!

Please enjoy issue #202!

Cheers, Melissa

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Issue 202 • December 7 – December 21, 2015

veteran, Senior, activiSt, a.d.a. patient diScountS

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

SHHHH… CAN YOU HEAR IT? It’s holiday music playing in shopping malls, weeks before Thanksgiving. That must mean it’s finally ugly sweater season! The Ugly Sweater Run is back for a fifth straight year! Run, walk or prance your way through a winter wonderland of holiday cheer with giant inflatables, hot cocoa, Samuel Adams and a few thousand of your closest friends. The #1 Holiday 5K is back, so register now!

USE PROMO CODE

SUBMERGE FOR $10 OFF

Coming to Sacramento 12.12.15 Time:

11:00 AM

Location:

WILLIAM LAND PARK 3800 SOUTH LAND PARK DR. SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA WWW.THEUGLYSWEATERRUN.COM

SubmergeMag.com

Issue 202 • December 7 – December 21, 2015

5

Words Jonathan Carabba and Eddie Jorgensen

Your Senses

TOUCH

The Ugly Sweater Run • Dec. 12 The merriest 5k of the year is here! Raid your buddy’s attic, scour a thrift store, check your mom’s closet, do whatever you have to do to find the most hideous holiday sweater ever for The Ugly Sweater Run: Sacramento, going down on Dec. 12 at William Land Park. Starting at 11 a.m., participants will run, walk, or prance their way through an approximately 3.1 mile long winter wonderland of holiday inflatables, music, hot chocolate and even some nice adult beverages for those of age. Each entry ($40) receives a custom vintage knit hat, kids five and under are free. Dogs and strollers are allowed, and you’re highly encouraged to deck them out with holiday cheer! Visit Theuglysweaterrun.com and click on the Sacramento event page for a link to buy tickets ahead of time. Use the promo code "Submerge" for $10 off! -J.C.

Photo above by Carl Costas

TASTE

Family Night at Formoli’s Bistro with Pasta Vinny! • Dec. 21

Life is too short not to splurge on events like the upcoming family night at Formoli’s. For one special weekday night, there will be a special five-course dinner featuring pasta made by Vinny Lazzaretto of Lazzaretto Pasta Company. For those who’ve never been to this J Street restaurant before, you’re in for a real treat.

Lazzaretto has offered up some of the best pasta in this region and has spent years perfecting and hand-crafting his delicious eats for both the Hook & Ladder and Grange restaurants. For $45 (kids are only $10) you won’t have to prepare a thing or do any dishes afterwards. Instead, you can prove to your significant other they really are the cat’s meow and you both can gorge to your stomach’s content. This night also offers something special for your little ones, who can indulge in ornament making, cookie decoratin, and a screening of the Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs movies. You’re encouraged to make reservations in advance to avoid missing out, since this will probably sell out.

For the vegetarians in your party, please let the folks know in advance so their chefs can accommodate any dietary restrictions.

Visit Formolisbistro.com for more info and to reserve your spot.

-E.J.

HEAR

The Nickel Slots Serve Up a Delicious New Christmas with The Nickel Slots EP, Play Powerhouse Pub in Folsom Dec. 19

Local band The Nickel Slots are back and armed with an ambitious collection of seasonal favorites. The aptly titled Christmas with The Nickel Slots! was released in early November and features four songs ranging in genre from pop to country to the more traditional Christmas fare. The collection also includes a song penned by band leader Tony Brusca aptly, yet oddly, titled “A Shot and a Beer for Christmas” that stands up against any odes to drinking or the holidays. Fans of Americana and alternative country have been packing clubs around the greater Sacramento Valley to see this four-piece and they even landed a coveted slot opening for Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band earlier this year at the Sleep Train Arena. As luck would have it, this Sammie award-winning band will be playing a show dubbed Rock Me Naughty 2 at The Powerhouse Pub in Folsom on Dec. 19 with The Infamous Swanks and Jitterbug Riot in tow. Come hear what some of the area’s hardest working bands are up to and, of course, spread some holiday cheer while knocking back some stiff drinks. Expect a lot of Christmas classics and bring some money to buy their new EP. Check out Thenickelslotsmusic.com to learn more about the band, and RSVP to the show by searching for the Rock Me Naughty 2 event page on Facebook.com. -E.J.

SEE

A Christmas Carol at B Street Theatre • Through Dec. 27

John Lamb and Greg Alexander | Photo by B Street Theatre staff

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Issue 202 • December 7 – December 21, 2015

Hidden deep in the recesses of Sacramento at the corner of B and 27th streets lies one of our city’s greatest treasures: the B Street Theatre. Christmas time is here, and their talented company of actresses and actors will be putting their skills to the ultimate test. Those who know the traditional holiday story A Christmas Carol will be delighted to know this adaptation changes the storyline around just a wee bit (nudge, nudge). Featured performers include the immensely talented and local actors du jour Greg Alexander as Ebenezer Scrooge, Amy Kelly as the Ghost of Christmas Present and John Lamb as Tiny Tim. The show has already received numerous positive reviews from local papers including (but certainly not limited to) the Sacramento Bee who raved this new version is “[A] sly new version of Charles Dickens’ perennial ‘ghost story.’” The show run started in late November, but thankfully runs through Dec. 27, with shows Saturdays and Sundays at 1 and 4 p.m as well as several weeknights leading up to Christmas Eve. Tickets are cheap ($15–$20) so you have no reason to be a scrooge yourself. Buy some tickets for the family and experience something new for a change. Find out more at Bstreettheatre.org -E.J. Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

HEAR

5 Local Shows That Are Giving Back This Holiday Season

Bill Mylar

TOUCH

Every holiday season, the Sacramento music scene steps up to give back to the community, and this year is no different.

Here are just five of the many local shows in the coming weeks that will benefit worthy local charities.

Tuesday, Dec. 8: Torch Club holds their Annual Christmas Party while collecting piles of new winter clothes for Loaves and Fishes. Bill Mylar will provide live tunes. Starts at 5 p.m, no cover, 21plus. 904 15th Street.

Lonely Kings

Dec. 12

Audiophiles and Christmas geeks unite! Phil Kline’s Unsilent Night offers anyone with a working mobile device or boombox a chance to participate in spreading some holiday musical cheer without having any musical background. Unlike singing traditional Christmas carols and going from door to door, every sound interacts with one another to create a larger piece that is never duplicated quite the same. Attendees just need to show up at Fremont Park (corner of 16th and P streets) on a Saturday, Dec. 12 at 7 p.m. after downloading one of four sounds from the Unsilent Night website. From there, a procession of people will walk down Sacramento’s streets while playing the tones through a portable speaker. Since 1992, this 45-minute piece has become quite a sensation with many different cities across the United States participating in this special, aural event. Dress warm and wear some comfortable walking shoes since this winter has already proven itself quite challenging. Do make sure you’re punctual as the sounds of the piece rely on timing. There is no cover charge, but your attention to details (starting and stopping of music, walking pace, etc) will suffice. Come out and join the party at Sacramento.unsilentnight.com. -E.J.

Friday, Dec. 11:

Rock for Tots XI at Blue Lamp with Lonely Kings, Rebel Punk, FUDI and Burning Landscapes.

Doors at 8 p.m., $10 cover, toy donation gets you a raffle ticket to win prizes with all toys going to Sacramento Salvation Army. 1400 Alhambra Blvd.

Saturday, Dec. 12:

Big Sandy and His Fly Rite Boys

Be Part of an “Outdoor Participatory Sound Sculpture” at Unsilent Night: Sacramento

Rockabilly Jingle Ball at Starlite Lounge with Big Sandy and His Fly Rite Boys, Hot City and more. Toy drive for Loaves and Fishes.

Starts at 1 p.m., 21-and-up. $10 with a new, unwrapped toy or $15 without. 1517 21st Street.

SEE

Professional Ice Hockey Live at Raley Field! • Dec. 18 Outdoor professional ice hockey in ... Sacramento? Yup, you read that correctly! Raley Field will host the American Hockey League’s first ever outdoor game in Western North America on Friday, Dec. 18 when the Stockton Heat (formerly Stockton Thunder) face off against the Bakersfield Condors. The “Golden State Hockey Rush,” as it’s been dubbed, is designed to celebrate ice hockey in the great state of California. Tickets start at just $20 and can be found online at Gshockeyrush.com. The Heat are directly affiliated with the National Hockey League’s (NHL) Calgary Flames, so the level of play is very, very high. Live hockey is truly intense! Don’t miss out! The game will even be broadcast nationally on hockey’s premier channel, the NHL Network, so you know the players will be going hard. The big game will be followed by two weeks of minor hockey tournaments at the same location. Visit Facebook. com/goldenstatehockeyrush for more information. -J.C.

Sunday, Dec. 13: Divalicious

Brandy Robinson

Christmas at Torch Club, a benefit for Albie Aware Breast Cancer Foundation.

Live music from Brandy Robinson, Jessica Malone with Larry Carr and Robert Sidwell, plus many more. Runs 3–8 p.m., $20 donation, 21-and-over. 904 15th Street.

Tuesday, Dec. 15: Hip-Hop

Mr. P Chill

Helps 2015 at Blue Lamp with Mr. P Chill, Kali Boyz, Charlie Muscle, Brutha Smith and many others. Toy drive to benefit Stanford Settlement Neighborhood Center.

Cover is $5 or one new, unwrapped toy donation. Starts at 9 p.m., 21-plus. 1400 Alhambra Blvd. -J.C.

holiday

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SubmergeMag.com

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nAME brAnD

SAcrAmento

MEntion “SubMErgE”

- owner/artist Susan rabinovitz

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LittLe ReLics Boutique & Galleria 908 21st Street (between I & J) Midtown, Sacramento 95811

916.346.4615 www.littlerelics.com

Issue 202 • December 7 – December 21, 2015

Open 7 days a week

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2708 J Street Sacramento 916.441.4693 HarlowS.com chArLie hunTer Trio

ThAT 1 GuY

DusTbowL revivAL LefTover cuTies,

The stream Crocker’s “Art Mix: Revolution” Event On Dec. 10 Is Not To Be Missed

WAL Public Market’s 10 Under 100 Exhibit Offers Up Affordable Artwork

Send regional news tips to info@submergemag.com

The wiLD reeDs

TuesDAY

weDnesDAY

7PM $12adv

12/08

12/09

MonDAY

7PM $25adv

12 /11

friDAY

8PM $22adv

sATurDAY

9PM $15adv

12 /07

12/12 MonDAY

12/14

sunDAY

7PM $18adv

12/13

6:30PM $15adv

The DanDy Warhols MirAnDA Lee richArDs | JoeL Gion ToMMY cAsTro AnD The PAinkiLLers swiTchbLADe Trio

MoDe TribuTe) sTrAnGeLove (DePeche (The cure TribuTe)

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AnD Los sTrAiTJAckeTs The cAcTus bLossoMs

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cLose To You (cArPenTersTribuTe)

friDAY

8:30PM $12adv

B siDe Players soL PeLiGro

sATurDAY

5:30PM $10 all ages

12/17 12/18 12/18

DJ Larry Rodriguez | Photo by Buff Slut

If you’ve yet to attend one of Crocker Art Museum’s infamous Art Mix events, this Thursday, Dec. 10 would be a great place to start. The lineup is absolutely stacked, and we’re predicting it’ll be one of the best ones yet. In true Art Mix fashion, “Revolution” will smash together the worlds of music, art, comedy, film, performance, food, drink and more! Crocker wants you to, “Overthrow 2015 with a bash, a bang and a blast.” Expect great tunes from Lonely Bulls and DJ Larry Rodriguez (aka Flower Vato). Stand-up comedy will be provided by Keith Lowell Jensen and Johnny Taylor. Other community groups involved include American River College Electronics Program, Bobby Edwards’ Transnational Art Project, Isabella Corsetry, Sacramento Young Feminist Alliance, Boomcase, Sacramento Natural Food Co-op, Burly Beverages and many others. Don’t forget to check out the incredible exhibit Divine Ammunition: The Sculpture of Al Farrow, which you might have read about in our last issue. Art Mix runs from 5 p.m. to 9 p.m. and has been designed for adults.

Crocker members get in free, general admission is $10 for adults and $8 for college students. Learn more at Crockerartmuseum.org or Facebook.com/ crockerart.

Sarah Perez

R Street’s WAL Public Market has quickly become the city’s hot spot for not only shopping and eating at the numerous locally owned businesses that line the hip, mall-like building, but also for the well-curated artwork on the walls via their monthly exhibits. This month’s show aims to bring affordable artwork into the hands of shoppers. On display from Dec. 11 through Jan. 7, 10 Under 100 will feature the work of 10 local artists—Jon Bafus, Shannon Crooks, Waylon Horner, Dana Iske, Michael Mikolon, Rita Okusako, Sarah Perez, Trisha Rhomberg, Daniel Trudeau and Mandy Zee—with all artwork priced at $100 or less. “Our goal with this exhibition is to provide affordable art that you can take home or gift this holiday season,” organizers wrote on Facebook.

“All work will be ‘grab and go,’ meaning buyers will be able to take the art with them directly after purchasing.” There will be a Second Saturday reception on Dec, 12 from 6–9 p.m. For more information, visit Walpublicmarket.com or Facebook.com/walpublicmarket.

before The brAve Josh LAne

MADi siPes & The PAinTeD bLue

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Phot

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ge We are ecstatic to announce that Submerge will be partnering up Ro with local DJs and party-throwing experts Shaun Slaughter and Roger Carpio (of Lipstick fame), as well as Adam Jay (of Le Twist Tuesdays and Wunderbar) for an epic New Year’s Eve Party at Old Ironsides (1901 10th Street). Not only will the aforementioned dudes be spinning danceable indie-rockleaning tunes all night (think Friendly Fires, Talking Heads, The Rapture, Yacht, Phoenix, MGMT, Death from Above 1979, etc.), but there will also be a live performance from one of the region’s best new bands, The Good Fortune. TGF’s debut EP Social Crowns is fantastic, we highly recommend it if you’re into dreamy, synth-y pop-rock. You can listen to the whole thing at Soundcloud.com/thegoodfortune. Tickets for the party are only $8 in advance, available at Cuffs (2523 J Street). If you want to enjoy a super intimate party this NYE and avoid the crowded madness at other big nightclubs, come hang with a couple hundred friends who are into really good music! Cheap drinks all night, ball drop with complimentary champagne at midnight, special giveaways and much more. Search for “Lipstick New Year’s Eve” on Facebook for more info.

5PM $15adv

The rAT PAck chrisTMAs show

12/20

*all

times are d o or times*

COMING SOON 12/23 12/25 12/26 12/31 1/02 1/08 1/09 1/15 1/15

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Peter Petty The union big eyed fish Mustache harbor Todd Morgan & the emblems elvis & the experience chuck ragan irishpalooza {early} Jelly bread

1/16 1/17 1/22-23 1/24 1/29 1/29 1/30 2/03 2/05

stu hamm band JD McPherson Tainted Love chicano batman Duendes {early} Abney Park Mania: beatles experience The Motet Joy & Madness

2/06 2/12 2/13 2/19 2/23 2/26 3/05 3/08 3/19

steelin’ Dan Glen Phillips foreverland ALo infamous stringdusters David Lindley Dengue fever Anderson east The brothers comatose

Issue 202 • December 7 – December 21, 2015

gh

sunDAY

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MiDnighT Players

12/19

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9:30PM $12adv

Sha u

sATurDAY

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12/19

Submerge and Lipstick are Teaming Up for An Epic NYE Party at Old I Jonathan Carabba

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

The Optimistic Pessimist Why are bosses such assholes about everything? I’ve held quite a number of different jobs over my years and with them came a number of different bosses. These jobs covered a variety of areas and yet nearly all of them had one thing in common: the people in charge were usually dicks.

Now, obviously this isn’t true in every circumstance. Not everyone’s boss is a total prick. Believe it or not, there is actually such thing as a “cool boss”; however, they are nearly as elusive as those “cool parents” that used to let you smoke weed in their garage back in high school. I know it may feel impossible at times, but they really do exist.

As a matter of fact, I have two cool bosses who happen to run the magazine/website you are reading at this very moment.

So what makes a boss cool, anyway? A cool boss cares about the place he or she works.

Why be a boss of something if you don’t give a shit about it? In addition to caring about where they work, a cool boss cares about the

people they work with. A good boss cares if the workers are happy and able to make ends meet because, if nothing else, that means a smoother running office. When the office is stressed, a cool boss will try and boost morale by doing something nice like buying lunch for everyone. A sandwich and a pat on the back can go a long way.

It’s really that simple, in theory, but it’s apparently so difficult in practice. Why is that?

Are assholes inclined toward upper management or does the sense of power from the position itself turn them into dicks? I’ve read that many CEOs and others in positions of power have psychopathic tendencies, so I guess that’s a point for the nature side. Then again, look what happened to Anakin Skywalker once he got a little juice. It wasn’t long before that dopey kid became the killing machine they called *spoiler alert* Darth Vader, so, clearly, there is a nurturing aspect to the shitty boss as well.

Absolute power corrupts, absolutely, right?

Psychopathology or a penchant for

You’re Not The Boss Of Me! assholery might explain some of these awful bosses, but neither can cover the entire gamut on their own. I’d say another big failing of the shitty boss is sheer incompetence. That shouldn’t be too surprising since we don’t always almost never get to the top on merits alone in this land of equality that we call the U.S. of A. Your boss might be related to, or is perhaps a friend of the owner of the business. That person didn’t necessarily get that job because they knew what to do or even because they would be able to figure it out. Hell, they may never figure it out and that makes things tough for you unless they just choose to stay out of the way altogether, which also isn’t good.

Being a boss doesn’t mean that you no longer have to do anything. It should be quite the opposite; the more you make, the more you should have to work. Instead, shitty bosses show up late and leave early. The really shitty ones leave their work for everyone else to stay late and finish. I’ve had bosses that farm out so much of their work that when one of the employees leaves, the boss

Bocephus Chigger bocephus@submergemag.com no longer knows how to do the work!

Some bosses know what they are doing and yet still manage to ruin your life by being cheap.

Running things on a shoestring budget is fine when you're getting something started or on the edge of collapse, but when the dough is rolling in, don’t be stingy with the proceeds. Shitty bosses skimp on the coffee and water and want you to skip breaks and work late. They give their employees busted computers, scratched-up desks and wobbly chairs and keep the good shit for themselves. A shitty boss complains about having to reimburse you for a work-related expense.

We’ve all seen them and have probably worked for one ourselves at one time or another.

Shitty bosses have added to our collective misery for far too long. And the cruelest part is it’s all for nothing. Being an asshole to your employees doesn’t help the bottom line. It just makes people work hard enough to get squeak by. So stop being a dick and start being a real boss.

1400 ALHAMBRA SAcRAMento BLUeLAMPSAcRAMento.coM 916-455-3400 tuesday

dec 8 • 8pm

BoNey-Jay

t.I.p. VIcIous, aNdru defeye, WIsechIld, alI fatz + more W e d N e s d a y dec 9 • 7pm the shoW shoW aN art shoW full

of BaNd photos & shoW posters

adam edWard, charles GuNN, paul ImaGINe, aNouk Nexus, laura matraNGa + more

thursday

dec 10 • 9pm

skratchpad frIday

rock for tots xI

loNely kINGs, reBel puNk, fudI, BurNING laNdscapes

dec 12 • 9pm

sleeprockers

+ specIal Guests

dec 17 • 8pm

thursday

the draft: hIp hop shoWcase dec 18 • 8pm

horseNeck, (WaNING), dJ trashepIphaNy & co. + short fIlm: Bottle BaseBall W/GrouNd chuck & ed huNter dec 19 • 8pm

saturday

posIoN Idea

dec 13 4pm

heatheN apostles

(feat. chopper from the cramps),

JoN emery

put sac oN shoWcase 9pm SubmergeMag.com

dee roq

dec 16 • 8pm

alarms, shoVe It, cold trap, surf comBat

preseNt “JoINts & Jams” suNday

WedNesday

phallucy

toy drIVe for sacrameNto salVatIoN army

douG c & the BlacklIsted,

kalI Boyz, charlIe muscle, Brutha smIth, mr. p chIll, sparks across darkNess, rIot craIG

frIday

dec 11 • 8pm

saturday

dec 15 • 8pm

tuesday

hIp hop helps toy drIVe BeNefIt staNford settlemeNt NeIGhBorhood ceNter

suNday

dec 20 • 1pm

kNockdoWN muzIk preseNts

fuck caNcer musIc festIVal WedNesday

dec 23 • 8pm

tha really aWesome shoW! specIal Guest: emory hayes

Issue 202 • December 7 – December 21, 2015

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9 9426 Greenback ln, Orangevale 9426 Greenback ln, Orangevale Tickets Available at Dimple Records, Armadillo records , or online at Tickets Available at Dimple Records, Armadillo records , or online at theboardwalkpresents.com theboardwalkpresents.com all shows

Gamblers Mark Blame the Bishop The Losing Kind

t 4

tuesday

december 8

all shows all ages

all ages

Salythia

BiLLy GALLoWAy DAnny LunA STephen TieRney

thursday december 10 Oct friday 8 december ThuRsDAy

11

ep ReLeASe

Zach Van Dyck

The Color Wild

Roc y Sleepwave • The Ongoing Concept Belle Haven • With Wolves

t 11

saturday

december 12

Ghost/Aeon

t 18 saturday december 19 10

sunday december 13 weDnesDAy

friday december 18 Oct 14

Artisans • Lonely Avenue The Fourth Horseman Taking Fox Hollow sunday december 20 fRiDAy Oct

Issue 202 • December 7 – December 21, 2015

friday january 8 23 Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

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9426 Greenback ln, Orangevale 9426 Greenback ln, Oran tickets Tickets available at dimpleAvailable records, armadillo records, or at online Dimple at Records,

Armadillo reco

theboardwalkpresents.com theboardwalkpresents. all shows all ages all shows

all ages

gro

Marty G

WiTh SpeCiAL GueST

D-o.n.e.

sATuRDAy Oct 24 january 15 monday january 18

friday

january 22

saturday january 23 sunday january 244 weDnesDAy nOv

friday

january 29 sATuR

friday

Skizzy MarS WiTh SpeCiAL GueST monday february 8 ThuRsDAy SubmergeMag.com

fRiDA

The KnocKs

GnASh

saturday march12 5 nOv

sunday

april 10

Issue 202 • December 7 – December 21, 2015

fRiDA

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Move In SacraMento Outside the 9-to-5 jennifer

hayes

Escaping the Crowds in Yosemite words & photo Ellen Baker

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12

Tenaya Lake, Tuolumne “I took a walk in the woods and came out taller than the trees.”

Henry David Thoreau had it figured out. We need a little adventure in our lives - what better place to find that than the outdoors? It doesn’t matter if you’re scaling a mountain or walking your dog to the park, I'm a firm believer that we all need to get outside and experience this place we live.

So, I’m here to share with you the coolest places in/near/ around Sacramento to go on some epic (and not-so-epic) adventures. I suppose I should start with an introduction; I’m just your average Sac-livin’, dream-chasin’, beer-drinkin’ girl who is slightly addicted to rock climbing and all things adventure. I can make a pretty mean campfire and I’m always in search of the next spot to explore. My hope is that this column will inspire you to get outside and explore as well. Northern California has so many hidden gems strewn about that deserve some love. I’m here to share with you the ones I know about and hopefully together we can uncover more of the beauty that surrounds us. So without further ado, happy adventuring.

You know about Yosemite. You know it is one of the most iconic National Forests in the United States, and I’m sure you also know how chaotic the hoards of brochure-holding, waste-leaving and binocular-gazing people can be. Don’t get me wrong—we’ve all been there; surrounded by incredible nature but looking at a map of the closest place to buy booze, strapping on the seat belt to drive to the grocery store in half a mile of traffic instead of taking an afternoon stroll. Or maybe you’ve been gazing at the sunset and overheard a man on his cell phone, “Yeah, I’m stuck here for the weekend with the wife and kids, barely any cell service and crapping in the woods.” Add a couple hundred screaming children, and there you have it: your weekend “getaway.”

I have news for you: It doesn’t have to be like that. After spending quite a bit of time in the Yosemite Valley, I have figured out how to avoid most of the crowds. As a rock climber it's pretty easy; once you’re climbing on a giant wall, you are pretty much isolated, but fear not—you don’t have to scale mountains to find peace and quiet. It’s cold out now, so grab your thermos, puffy and gloves and follow these few pieces of advice to find some solitude among the crowds.

Issue 202 • December 7 – December 21, 2015

1) Forget the car. Park it somewhere you can leave it and walk your ass to the grocery store if you really need that Klondike Bar. 2) Hate walking? There's an amazing shuttle system. From 7 a.m. to 10 p.m. every single day of the year, the shuttles run and have frequent stops throughout the park. On one specific trip to the valley, my boyfriend at the time and I strapped inner tubes around us and took the shuttle to the highest point on the river, Happy Isles, where we dipped into the river with our tubes and floated all the way back down to our camp. It can get crowded for sure, but if you use it in the evening it will be all yours. Check it out. I promise if you use it all day, for one day, it will change your life and you will never drive in Yosemite again. You can thank me later.

3) This is one of California’s best kept secrets, so hold it close to your heart: ever heard of Tuolumne Meadows? It’s about a 40 minute drive from Yosemite Valley at 8,600 feet. It is still technically in Yosemite National Forest but the crowds are less by tenfold and the scenery is just as, if not more amazing than in the valley. Seriously, this place is magical. Oh, and the heaven-sent shuttle system I was just talking about? You can jump on a shuttle in Yosemite, and it will take you straight to Tuolumne for free.

4) Don’t forget you are in nature, not Disneyland. This is a place to explore. Stay on the trail and be respectful to nature, but go on a walk and see where it takes you. Don’t stick to the cemented pathway covered in new tennies and shiny hiking poles.

5) Camp outside the park. There are countless legal camping spots outside of the park that are just as beautiful. If you are in Tuolumne Meadows, Mono Lake is a short drive out of the park and down the hill. Go to it. Spend a day there. Just because you are going to “Yosemite for the weekend” doesn’t mean you are forced to stay there the entire time.

Make your epic weekend in the Valley less epically frustrating and don’t follow the crowds. Explore on your own or take a nap under the setting sun in an open meadow. You may actually spot an animal in it’s natural habitat rather than on a screen.

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

happy our hound

bunny

Give the Gift of Fine French Frugality Café Plan B

1226 20 th Street, Sacramento Words & photos Nur Kausar Happy Hour is front and center on this restaurant’s website when you click Café, so it seemed an obvious choice for the Happy Hour Hound to sniff out.

The special, mussels and frites (fries) for $10 and draught Kronenbourg 1664 lager for $3 from 2:30 to 5:30 on weekdays, can’t be beat if you’re looking for a more upscale late lunch or early dinner.

Not everyone likes mussels. I asked a few friends to join and they declined, citing this very fact, and even our own Submerge editor says she isn’t daring enough to try them.

Mussel is the name for several kinds of clams that can come from both freshwater and saltwater, and the texture is usually what gets people. The meat of the mussel is plump and smooth on the outside with a slightly chewy bite.

Mussels are one of the most sustainable shellfish to catch, according to the Monterey Bay Aquarium’s Seafood Watch. They are also healthy (when not doused in tons of butter), easy to cook and beautiful in their colorful dark shells.

In some restaurants, the chef will remove the meat from the shell depending on the dish, but in the case of Café Plan B, the traditional French and Belgian moules et frites are the highlight of the menu.

My husband and I had our first taste of this unfamiliar combination earlier this year in Bruges, and the experience in Midtown this week comes nostalgically close. The Café itself looked like it was plucked from the Bruges town square—a tent-like exterior has windows that remain open in summer and is lined inside with SubmergeMag.com

white-benched tables, with booths in the middle of the room. The black and white tables dotted with red candles are placed just far enough from each other to allow for intimate conversation, and the friendly staff gives you space to slurp your creamy mussel broth in peace.

On this particular late afternoon, we also had the entire café to ourselves for more than an hour. I wasn’t sure if this was a sign that people just don’t know about this place yet, since it’s been open just under two years, or if 4:30 was a little early for the happy hour crowd. The reason could also be that happy hour in Midtown sometimes conjures up images of bar stools and televisions, but Café Plan B has neither.

To keep my bill around $20, I chose the popular mussels with nantaise broth (normally $13.95) that is made with butter, shallots, white wine and crème fraiche; a pint of 1664 and crème brulee for dessert ($7.95). Sounds like Christmas came early, huh?

The skinny cut fries came out first and were seasoned with herbs that elevated them from the usual shoestring. I ordered a side of aioli (I never saw ketchup with fries in Belgium but did see mayo, and the same is true for the café), which was equally herbal and delicious. Our waiter wouldn’t tell us the secret ingredients to the aioli, but let’s just say I have a new idea for what to do with those leftover Thanksgiving herbs in the fridge.

The mussels came out in a wide, deep dish beautifully presented, accompanied by toasted baguette slices. If you want to

impress a date, but don’t want to spend more than $50, this meal will do it.

My husband, on his non-Hound tab, ordered the poulette broth for his mussels, and I actually liked it better than the nantaise, which seems to be getting all the attention on Yelp. The diced pancetta and thyme in a rich cream had that savory umami that keeps you eating even after you’re full, whereas my broth was sweet with a milky tartness from the crème fraiche.

After throwing the last of my mussels in the tin bucket provided for shells, and sopping up broth with my baguette and fries, I didn’t think I’d have room for dessert. Unfortunately, if you have crème brulee on the menu, I will order it.

The crème was simple but perfect— vanilla bean peppered the entire fluffy custard and the fired sugar top sat thick, like an ice skating rink, my husband noted.

Now, before you dismiss Café Plan B because of its mussel happy hour, take a look at the rest of the menu. It’s not part of the special, but several appetizers and sides are under $20. I know I’ll be going back soon to try the venison carpaccio ($12.95), the pancetta-wrapped prawns ($6.95), the homemade ravioli ($10.95) and the French onion soup. They also have bottles of one of my favorite beers, Gavroche, along with a unique and varied wine list.

Plan B, the original restaurant, is even more upscale in looks and has a larger menu. It’s located in the Arden Town Center but doesn’t include the happy hour.

You could easily spend too much at either location, but I didn’t find it difficult to keep the tab low for a fine French dining experience. Just keep in mind this is a heavy meal, so don’t plan on going back to work afterward.

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delicious dishes 2718 J Street Sacramento

916.706.2275 • TheRedRabbit.net Facebook.com/SacRabbit

Issue 202 • December 7 – December 21, 2015

13

Local metal band Graveshadow prepares for the domestic release of their new album Words Eddie Jorgensen • photo Angie Cardena he rise in popularity of symphonic metal and its many musical subgenres over the last two decades has been alarmingly substantial (to say the very least) both in the United States and abroad. Not only have many bands in the genre been catapulted into arena and stadium headliner status, the once-underground style has now become one of the strongest concert draws on the touring circuit.

Unfortunately, groups like Nightwish, Epica, Within Temptation, Delain, Xandria, Leaves’ Eyes, and many others get unceremoniously lumped together since they all have a lead female vocalist. Upon further inspection, however, it would seem the similarities of the aforementioned acts are also rooted in a melodic approach that takes cues from classical and progressive music.

Sacramento’s Graveshadow is one of the few female-fronted symphonic metal bands in the region to have successfully incorporated elements of gothic, black, thrash and even doom metal fare with great effect. Rather than sounding dated or derivative, the eight songs on their forthcoming record, Nocturnal Resurrection, show a band ready for the road and, more importantly, world domination.

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Issue 202 • December 7 – December 21, 2015

Since their inception in 2012 by guitarist William Walker, the group has become one of the area’s strongest and most consistent headliners and have already signed a deal with Belgium-based boutique record label Mausoleum Records. The label was founded in 1982 and previously released albums by Voivod, Anvil, Nazareth, Omen, and has many other heritage rock acts and newer signings.

Whether you’re into brash screams or soaring vocals, standout songs like “Exhumed” and “Namesake” offer something for everyone. From mid-tempo rockers laden with keyboards to plodding guitar riffs that complement a wholly able rhythm section, this is one band that has benefited greatly from a twice-a-week practice regimen.

And while the group has no immediate plans to leave the area, it would seem they are poised for bigger and better things outside of our fair city.

Submerge caught up with vocalist Heather Michele, keyboardist Valerie Hudak and Walker to get the skinny on Graveshadow’s new album and more.

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

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Where have you played outside of the area and what plans do you have for 2016?

HM: We’ve played Reno and we played Hollywood a couple of times. We originally played with Edge of Paradise and have been getting shows in Southern California through promoter Metal Sanaz.

WW: We don’t have an agent overseas yet, but we do have a national tour booked that’s not announced yet. Unfortunately, I can’t say who it is, but it is a short tour with a well-known national act and another one of our favorite bands. We’re opening first of three. Also, we now have a proper booking agent here in the States named Andrew Roesch, who also works for Artery Foundation. He will start working us and booking stuff the beginning of next year. From the conversations we’ve had with him and our manager, we all decided the band wants to simply play out-of-town markets opening for national acts. Later on, however, we’d to like start touring nationally after we’ve built up something.

Which bands are you fans of whether regional or local?

VH: We really like Crepuscle. They are really good melodic death metal from Redwood City. They are also playing our CD release show.

WW: Astral Cult are a great band from Folsom, and they’re also playing our Boardwalk show. I also like a band called Blessed Curse.

We just recently played a show with them as well, and I was really impressed.

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What do each of the members do for work during the day?

WW: I work at Apple on the Elk Grove campus, our drummer Roman Anderson sells car parts, lead guitarist Matt Mitchell does political analysis and our bass player Ben Armstrong works at a plant nursery.

HM: Valerie and I actually work at the same company at different locations. We’re tutors for kids with autism from 2 to 6 years of age.

What is the end goal for the band?

WW: I have been playing in bands since I was 13 years old. All I ever wanted was to make a living off making and playing music. I would totally quit my job.

VH: I totally feel the same. We are 100 percent into this. I would really like to make Graveshadow my only career.

HM: I would just like to make a living working part-time and be in a band. I take it back. If I could work at Starbucks, be in Mausoleum Records recording a band and be artist Graveshadow will host a CD self-sufficient, I release show at The Boardwalk located at 9426 Greenback Lane would totally be in Orangevale on Sunday, Dec. 20. be good.

Tickets are just $10 in advance.

WW: Heather’s Crepuscle, Zeroclient, Conceived idea is my in Chaos and Astral Cult open fallback plan. the all-ages show. Doors at 6 p.m.

8pm

sat. december 12

sun. december 13

Happy HOur mOn - fri 4 tO 7 pm

fri. december 18

?

Which song or songs are your favorites?

WW: I really like “Namesake” since I wrote and arranged all the guitar and the lyrics. I love playing that song. It was a very emotional song written after my grandfather died and deals with some of the issues I experienced afterward since I’m also named after him.

VH: I really like “Namesake” as well. I like the construction of “Namesake,” which has some really good riffs in it and “Winter’s Come to Call” as well. The most difficult problem I encountered while recording was dealing with all of our many tempo changes, because we’re really a live band.

When you do a studio recording, you have to set the rhythm, set the click and play to it. You really have to give a perfect performance, unlike a live show.

Heather Michele: I would say “Lycan Lust,” which was a tricky one to finagle around. I was given a sheet of paper with what the song was supposed to be about. As it turned out, I liked some of the notes, but I wanted to phrase things differently and change things around. It was one of the most difficult to write but ended up being one of my favorites.

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de

What about bonus tracks? Surely you’ve recorded some extra tracks to use later on.

WW: Actually, we only recorded the ones you hear on the new record. We went into the process with the idea of recording just these songs and nothing more. Our drummer Roman Anderson and I tend to write all the rhythms together and thought it best for consistency.

Consequently, all of the rhythm guitar tracks you hear were recorded by myself and the leads, of course, were done by our lead guitarist, Matt Mitchell.

However, all of our songs are very collaborative since everyone adds something.

Valerie Hudak: We have a couple of different remixes of “Blood and Fire” we were thinking about using for digital download cards.

Unfortunately, we had no extra songs on the record. It is something we thought about doing later on. Currently, we’re focused on writing even more songs for the next record.

How did the band originally meet? Please don’t tell me Craigslist.

HM: [Laughs] It was a Craigslist ad. I talked to Will initially. The founder was Will and another member who is no longer in the band, whom we haven’t spoken to in quite a while.

Ne

It seems your album is already out overseas.

What is the exact street date of Nocturnal Resurrection and why did you choose your current label over doing things yourselves?

William Walker: You are correct. It was already released back on Nov. 13 in Europe, but it will be available everywhere starting on Dec. 13.

Oddly enough, a friend of mine named Norman Skinner was in a band called Imagika that toured and were on the label. When I knew they were signed, it made me feel really good about the label since it seems they had a good experience.

We are signed for one album and the label has an option to release a second album if they want to. We are fully committed to this album since we spent much time, effort and money to make it. The album was mixed and mastered by Emil “Nightmare Industries” Nodtveidt from Sweden.

He is also currently the guitarist of Deathstars who shares the same management as us—Jeff Keller Management. It worked out really well, and we couldn’t be happier with the results.

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YellowCabSacramento.com Issue 202 • December 7 – December 21, 2015

15

T o n e of s Ringing in the New Year with Jackie Greene Words Justin Cox photo york Wilson

J

ackie Greene spent his teens recording in his parents’ Cameron Park garage before graduating from high school and rolling down the hill to Sacramento, where he formally embarked on his professional music career.

He owned a cassette player with two decks on which he learned how to merge two recorded tracks onto one. That would free up the second deck so that he could repeat the recording-andmerging process again and again, adding layer after layer to his original songs—dirtying up the quality with each overdub.

His friend had a CD burner (the stand-alone kind, before they came standard on computers), which Greene used to burn five-song CDs. He printed out shoddy album covers at Kinko’s and sold the discs for five bucks at his café gigs in the foothills.

More than 15 years have passed since those first sessions, and Greene has left behind him a trail of acclaimed albums and incredible collaborations, but that free-flowing DIY spirit to continues to propel the process, with little regard to how his musical decisions will impact album sales.

Greene has played alongside legends like Phil Lesh and Bob Weir of the Grateful Dead as well as Levon Helm, Joan Osborne and the Black Crowes, with whom he toured for more than a year.

In August he released his seventh solo album, titled Back to Birth, and is scheduled to ring in the New Year with a full-band show at the Crest Theatre later this month.

Cutting His Teeth in the Capital Upon arriving in Sacramento, Greene began playing regular coffee shop shows throughout the city, but within a year or so, he secured gigs at the Torch Club and Blue Lamp every Tuesday and Thursday night. He would start with an acoustic set at the Torch Club from 4–7 p.m. and then head over to the Blue Lamp for a full-band set that lasted until 1 a.m.

He put himself out there, and in time locals began to take notice.

“We had a line around the Blue Lamp for a stand-alone Friday show,” said Greene of his earliest tastes of success. “It was such a cool feeling and I’ll never forget it.”

16

Home While living in Sacramento, he released his first two full-length albums, Gone Wanderin’ and Sweet Somewhere Bound, to wide acclaim. The new attention led to opening gigs for legends like Mark Knopfler of Dire Straits and blues legends B.B. King and Buddy Guy. Although Greene’s first two albums are chock-full of Dylan-esque strumming and freeform harmonica, the blues are thickly slathered across both, a nod to his earliest influences.

“When I was about 14, I found an old record collection I assume belonged to my parents,” he said. “Old Ray Charles and Lightnin’ Hopkins records. This was around ’94, so the popular music was very different than that. It was this whole world of other music.”

Greene became a “blues nerd” in high school, dragging his friends to B.B. King concerts and championing the music of his old-school idols. His early influences came in the form of that dust-covered record collection, but as he got serious about his own songwriting, Dylan and Tom Waits entered his life, and he invited them in with open arms. On Jackie Greene albums, those influences exist right alongside one another from one song to the next as he dips from genre to genre as he pleases.

“They’re like elements in a periodic table,” he said. “I like to take several of those elements and put them together into some compound. I’ve always just sort of followed my muse. I write the kinds of songs that feel good for me at the time and never really apologize for it.”

This is great for Greene and his diehard fans, of which there are many in the Sacramento area.

But it presents a challenge for his record labels and the marketing folks who are tasked with selling his music to the masses.

“Every label I’ve been on has had a difficult time selling my records,” he said. “They don’t know what to call it. Folk songs? Straight up blues songs? Some are kind of jazzy.”

For concertgoers, he says, it’s an asset. But from a business standpoint, it’s kind of difficult.

“Who do we sell it to?” is the recurring question he gets, but it’s not one he’ll linger on long enough to let it guide his sound.

“If you start doing things you don’t want to do, your career’s gonna be real short,” he says.

Issue 202 • December 7 – December 21, 2015

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

B ack to B irth A few years before Greene began tracking his latest album in the Portland studio of Steve Berlin (Los Lobos), he set out to record Back to Birth by himself at his home. He wanted a stark and simple sound, and he thought the truly solo experience would be the path toward making that a reality.

Turned out he was wrong.

“I became a little disillusioned, so I put it on the backburner,” he said. “The sounds weren’t quite what I wanted.”

He shelved those demos and jumped on a gig with The Black Crowes, spending the better part of a year with them on the road. He also cut an album with a collaborative project called Trigger Hippy, featuring drummer Steve Gorman of the Black Crowes and singer Joan Osborne, of “What if God Was One of Us?” fame.

After a year of collaborating with other musicians, it was time to revisit those demos and think about how to dial them in to his liking. He looked to Berlin and his Portland studio to set the project back in motion. Simplicity was still at the forefront of his mind.

“I find that a lot of the best songs are when something is stated in a very simple and pure way,” he said. “Often times it’s the hardest to write. On this record I try to do that with the music as well as the lyrics.”

In Greene’s own words, Back to Birth is “not a fancy record.” He points to literary works like Breakfast at Tiffany’s and The Catcher in the Rye—two books that can “kick you in the ass” but maintain a deliberate sense of simplicity and brevity. They make no attempt to be War and SubmergeMag.com

The Best in

JAZZ

“It’s a little bit of a shame that music is so easily digested and spit out.

There was a time when you couldn’t wait for a band’s new record to come out and you’d wait outside Tower Records. A little of the magic is lost.”

– Jackie Greene on making music in the digital era

Peace or The Lord of the Rings.

“There’s a certain magic,” he said, returning the simplicity of the Back to Birth recordings. “We did the basic sessions in less than a week. There are no bells and whistles.”

a F u ll A lb u m in the A ge of i P hones Greene says in his bio that he wanted to make an album that would “reward people who are willing to sit down and give it a couple of serious listens.”

It’s a bold move in the age of dangling ear buds and dwindling attention spans, but it’s one that Greene feels secure in making.

“It’s a little bit of a shame that music is so easily digested and spit out,” he said. “There was a time when you couldn’t wait for a band’s new record to come out and you’d wait outside Tower Records. A little of the magic is lost.”

Greene wanted to make an album that gets better with each listen—something that required top-to-bottom listening to get the full picture.

He knows not everybody will grant him those 45 straight minutes of sequential listening, but many will, especially folks who have been following him in Sacramento for more than a decade.

N ew Y ear ’ s E ve at T he C rest Many of those diehards will be ushering in 2016 with Greene on Dec. 31 at the Crest Theatre.

“It’s a spirited event,” said Greene of the New Year’s Eve shows past. “There’s a fair amount of alcohol involved for sure. As a band, we try some stuff musically that we wouldn’t normally do.

Everybody’s loose, so it’s a good time to do it.”

The band will play until midnight, at which point they’ll raise their glasses and lead a countdown to the New Year. After the clock strikes 12, they’ll launch into a closing set to punctuate the party and kick off 2016.

The past few years Greene and his band played their New Year’s Eve shows in South Lake Tahoe.

Greene is excited to bring the party to the city where he got his start.

“We’ve never Celebrate New Year’s Eve played New Year’s with the Jackie Greene Band at the Crest Theatre, located there,” he said. “It’ll at 1013 K Street. Doors open be fun. Hopefully a at 8:30 p.m. for the 9:30 lot of old fans will show. Tickets start at $35 and are available online at show up.”

Crestsacramento.com

The mind behind Breaking Bad In Conversation with Vince Gilligan THU, DEC 10 • 8PM

As the creator of Breaking Bad and a writer/producer for The X-Files, Vince Gilligan’s work represents the very best of contemporary television writing.

Of Gilligan’s characters, The New York Times has said “they inhabit a realm of moral ambiguities that’s overseen by a man with both a wicked sense of humor and a highly refined sense of right and wrong.” Gilligan comes to the Mondavi Center to talk about his darkly quirky characters and his craft.

Celebrate the holidays with us!

Reduced Shakespeare Company Ultimate Christmas “Three Wise Guys” tell the story of Christmahanukwanzakah in this irreverant yet heartwarming tribute to holidays.

SAT, DEC 12 • 7PM

American Bach Soloists

Jeffrey Thomas, music director J.S. Bach’s Christmas Oratorio A beloved annual Mondavi Center tradition.

SUN, DEC 13 • 4PM

g

Give the gift of performance

Gift Certificates available at mondaviarts.org

Issue 202 • December 7 – December 21, 2015

17

Step Aside, Santa!

The Eighth Annual Submerge Holiday Gift Guide

By Submerge Staff

I

t’s your duty as an American to shop. That’s not an opinion, it’s right there in the Declaration of Independence. Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. OK, so it doesn’t specifically mention “shopping,” but it’s clearly in the subtext. So, if it’s your duty to shop, why not do it locally? You’ll impress your family and friends with your awesome taste and knack for finding unique gifts, and you’ll also help grow your community’s economy. Double bonus! That’s what the season’s spirit is all about (again, subtext). Please enjoy the following compendium of (mostly) local holiday gift ideas and feel your heart cockles fill with patriotic pride!

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Issue 202 • December 7 – December 21, 2015

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

Glass Pyramids by Aradia Glass Craft Aradia Glass Craft owner Amy Streit has always been a maker. She not only creates these amazing glass pyramids (starting at $15) that look stunning with air plants (sold separately, anywhere from $1 on up, depending on size), she’s also an expert in stained/leaded glass restoration and repair. Stop into Old Gold (1104 R Street) to see an assortment of Streit’s creations.

Fujifilm Instax Mini 8 Instant Camera at Mike’s Camera In this digital age, isn’t it nice to actually hold onto something tangible? We sure think so! That’s why we love the Fujifilm Instax Mini 8 Instant Camera ($79.99), available locally at Mike’s Camera (2200 J Street). Available in multiple colors, these cameras are cute, compact, easy to use and they print “Polaroid style” photos in seconds. Pick one up and take it to your holiday parties this year, snap some photos and pass them out to friends, you’ll be the star of the soiree! Note: film is sold separately.

ope w o n

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unique jewelry stretched & for

non-stretched lobes

1 - 8pm tues-sun

Walk-Ins Welcome

1018 22nd St. Sacto•916.758.5958•chiefpiercing.net Moroccan Rugs from Kechmara Designs These Moroccan rugs are the real deal, no knockoffs here. Kechmara Designs’ Ali Setayesh hand-selects each vintage piece and imports them to be showcased in their new shop, located inside WAL Public Market (1104 R Street). They’re beautiful and are in incredible shape, which is really cool considering they were made more than 50 years ago in the Atlas Mountains of Morocco! Inquire with Kechmara for prices.

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Issue 202 • December 7 – December 21, 2015

19

MSR Evo Snowshoes from REI

Garmin Vivoactive Smart Watch from Fleet Feet

A little snow won’t stop you from exploring new trails this winter as long as you’ve got the proper equipment, starting with these MSR Evo Snowshoes ($139.95) available online through Rei.com.

Built for rolling terrain and trails, these things are legendary for their dependability and all-condition traction, allowing you to enjoy the beauty and wonder of the snow-capped Sierras safely and responsibly. Optional 6-inch tails (sold separately) will float you on top of even the deepest fresh powder and/or help if carrying heavier loads. We wish you happy (and warm) trails!

For the active athlete on your shopping list, you owe it to them to look into the Garmin Vivoactive ($250), available at Fleet Feet (2311 J Street). This ultra-thin, lightweight smartwatch has a sunlight-readable, high-resolution touchscreen and built-in sports apps, including GPSenabled running, biking, golfing, swimming and activity tracking.

Pair with your smartphone to view incoming calls, emails, texts and calendar notifications.

Unique Earrings

by Tawapa from Chief Piercing

Vinyl Records for All Ages and Cute Vintage Finds from Kicksville & Medium Rare Combining two shops into one, Kicksville Vinyl and Vintage and Medium Rare Records and Collectibles (1104 R Street, inside WAL Public Market) offer a plethora of vinyl records for all ages as well as adorable vintage finds! New records, used records, 45s, cute decorations from the ‘50s and ‘60s, furniture, mid-century and vintage goods, tapes, CDs ... and they’ve got it all.

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Issue 202 • December 7 – December 21, 2015

These beautiful earrings from California-based jewelry makers Tawapa are amongst countless other gems that you’ll find at the newly opened Chief Piercing (1018 22nd Street). The shop carries plenty of choices for stretched and unstretched ears. Pictured are: Ebony Lotus Hoops ($45); Lotus Eyelets, available in gold or silver (starting at $60); and Rosegold Hexagon Hammered Hoops ($100).

Stop in and see shop owner Katrina Bennett, she’ll show you the goods.

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

Pom Beanie and Tech Gloves from Official Crown of Laurel In case you haven’t noticed, it’s cold as heck in Sacramento this time of year! Stay warm and stylish with these choice pieces from locally based company Official Crown of Laurel. The City Chulo Pom Beanie ($26), and touch screen-friendly Tech Gloves ($24), are both available online at Theofficialbrand.com. Also, be sure to check out Official’s “Sample Sale” on Saturday, Dec. 12 at 808 R Street from noon to 5 p.m. for select $5 hats, $5 beanies and $20 jackets!

Fanny Packs by Avenue Dee at Old Gold Perfect for everything from music festivals, to hikes, to a night on the town, fanny packs are back, baby! Check out these fun, functional and stylish ones from Los Angeles-based company Avenue Dee, available locally at Old Gold (located inside WAL Public Market, 1104 R Street).

Prices range from $30–$34, patterns and colors vary, see store for details.

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Smart Balance Wheel from Back to the 80’s Store The hottest gadget of the season this year is surprisingly not an Apple product, but instead the Smart Balance Wheel ($499) available locally in a variety of colors at the new Back to the 80’s Store (2131 K Street, Suite B). Combine a Segway with a skateboard and you’re somewhere in the realm of what these “hoverboards” are all about. Each one has speakers built in! Connect with your smartphone via Bluetooth and let the good times roll. Includes carrying case and one-year warranty.

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SubmergeMag.com

Issue 202 • December 7 – December 21, 2015

21

Beautiful $10 Bouquets from Nice Stems Flower Shop While perusing all of the fine local shops inside the WAL Public Market this holiday season (and beyond), you’ll notice an adorable flower stand tucked in the back called Nice Stems, offering a fabulous minimalist selection of flowers sourced from the highest quality locations.

Flowers make great gifts! Perfect for one’s home or office. This grab-and-go pre-made bouquet was only $10, and they have $15 and $20 versions too. Individual stems go for around $4. They even deliver anywhere on the grid via bicycle! Nice stems, indeed, and cheap too.

Cold Bruer Iced Coffee Maker from Temple Coffee For the coffee lover on your list: The Cold Bruer ($80) is a simple and transparent way to make delicious cafe-style slow drip cold brewed coffee right at home in as little as four hours. It’s sleek, simple, easy to use and a breeze to clean. Who cares if it’s cold outside? Any true coffee lover will always be down for properly brewed iced stuff! Pick one up locally at Temple Coffee locations (call ahead to make sure they have it in stock) or snag one online at Templecoffee.com.

Handmade Shoes by Benjamins For the stylish gentlemen out there: These handmade shoes by Benjamins are produced in extremely limited runs and made right here in Sacramento inside the WAL Public Market (1104 R Street). Owner and maker Benjamin Schwartz uses the highest quality luxury fabrics and traditional shoemaking techniques, resulting in some seriously comfortable and visually appealing kicks. Prices start at $195 on up, and he’s currently got about a four-month waiting list (each pair is handmade, after all). All shoes include cedar shoe trees and linen shoe bags.

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Issue 202 • December 7 – December 21, 2015

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

High-Quality American-Made Glass Pipes from Exhale Smoke Shop

Adult Coloring Books from Blick Art Supplies Obligations, stress, work, family, bills, emails, text messages, social media … Phew, life is complicated and sometimes exhausting. When it’s time to unwind, unplug and relax, these Color Me Calm and Color Me Happy adult coloring books ($16.99), available locally at Blick Art Supplies (905 Howe Avenue), will help do the trick. Organized into therapeutically-themed chapters, these books were designed by art therapist Lacy Mucklow and artist Angela Porter to help you get coloring and get relaxed. Don’t forget Blick Essentials Colored Pencils ($3.99 on up).

SubmergeMag.com

Sacramento’s newest smoke shop and glass gallery Exhale is now open on the corner of E and 29th Streets (under Pine Cove Tavern). Owner Ryan Donnelly only carries glass that is highquality and American-made, in addition to a huge selection of e-juices, rigs, papers, containers, grinders and more. HVY Glass 12” Bubble Bottom Waterpipe ($220), assorted dry glass pipes range from $10–$90.

Issue 202 • December 7 – December 21, 2015

23

1417 R STREET SACRAMENTO

Wolf & Bear

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January 14

SAT u R DAy

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Brodie SteWart

December 13

S u N DAy

January 10

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December 11

f R i DAy

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Issue 202 • December 7 – December 21, 2015

W E D N E S DAy

January 13

f R i DAy

dreW BaldridGe

January 29

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

Say WeSay canWe flycan fly

SAT uSAT R DAy u R DAy January January 30

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M O N DAy M O N DAy february february 15

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Issue 202 • December 7 – December 21, 2015

25

m u si c , c o m e dy & m is c . Cal e n da r

dec. 7 – DEC. 21 submergemag.com/calendar

12.07 Monday

The Boxing Donkey Open Mic Variety Night, 8 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Fox & Goose Open Mic Night, 7:30 p.m.

Goldfield Carter Winter, 9 p.m.

Harlow’s The Dandy Warhols, Miranda Lee Richards, Joel Gion, 7 p.m.

Louie’s Cocktail Lounge Karaoke, 9 p.m.

LowBrau Motown on Monday’s w/ DJ Epik, 9 p.m.

Luna’s Cafe Nebraska Mondays hosted by Ross Hammond, 7:30 p.m.

Press Club Radio 70 w/ DJ Larry, 8 p.m.

12.08 Tuesday

The Blue Lamp Boney-Jay, T.I.P. Vicious, Andru Defeye, WiseChild, Ali Fatz and more, 8 p.m.

The Boardwalk The Blasters, Gamblers Mark, Blame the Bishop, The Losing Kind, 7 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Dive Bar Dueling Pianos, 9 p.m.

Harlow’s That 1 Guy, 7 p.m.

Harris Center for the Arts Folsom Lake College Choir: Winter Choral And Vocal Recital, 6 & 8 p.m. (Sold Out)

Kupros Craft House Open Mic, 8 p.m.

LowBrau Le Twist Tuesdays w/ Sam I Jam, Roger Carpio, Adam J and Guests, 9 p.m.

Nicholson’s MusiCafe West Coast Songwriting Competition, 6 p.m.

Old Ironsides Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Pine Cove Open Mic Night, 9 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Live Band Karaoke, 8 p.m.

Starlite Lounge Bell Witch, Wrekmeister Harmonies, Chrch, 8 p.m.

Torch Club Christmas Party to Benefit Loaves & Fishes w/ Bill Mylar, 5 p.m.; Tim O’Neil, Jon Emery, 8 p.m.

12.09 Wednesday

Ace of Spades Reverend Horton Heat, Lords of Altamont, The Bellrays, The Vintage Vandals, 6 p.m.

Bar 101 Open Mic, 7:30 p.m.

Club Car The Double Shots, 7:30 p.m.

Crest Theatre Robert Cray Band, Hans and the Hot Mess Duo, 6:30 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Dive Bar Open Mic hosted by Gabe Cole, 8 p.m.

Fox & Goose All Vinyl Wednesdays w/ DJ AA Knuff, 8 p.m.

Harlow’s Charlie Hunter Trio, 7 p.m.

Harris Center for the Arts Folsom Lake College Jazz Ensemble, 7 p.m.; David Benoit (Charlie Brown Christmas tribute), Jane Monheit, 7:30 p.m.

Luna’s Cafe Irish/Celtic Jam hosted by The Glens of Smow of Sambandha, 7 p.m.

Memorial Auditorium Electric Christmas w/ Bastille, Robert DeLong, Cold War Kids, Saint Motel, Marian Hill and More, 7 p.m.

Mix DJ Gabe Xavier, DJ Peeti V, 9 p.m.

Nicholson’s MusiCafe Acoustic Open Mic, 6 p.m.

Old Ironsides Open Mic, 9 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Local Licks on 98 Rock Free Music Series: Pacific Coast Highway, FFG, ONOFF, 8 p.m.

Press Club Jennie Vee, Vowws, 8 p.m.

Torch Club Acoustic Open Mic, 5:30 p.m.; Keri Carr Band, 9 p.m.

12.10 thursday

Ace of Spades Snoop Dogg, Tha Eastsidas, Dogg Pound, LBC Movement, 6:30 p.m. (Sold Out) Bar 101 Karaoke, 7:30 p.m.

The Blue Lamp Skratchpad, 9 p.m.

The Boardwalk Blood on the Dance Floor, 7 p.m.

Capitol Garage Karaoke w/ Jeff Jenkins, 10 p.m.

Club Car Songwriters Showcase, 8 p.m.

The Coffee Garden Open Mic Night, 8 p.m.

Crest Theatre Scott Bradlee’s Postmodern Jukebox, 7 p.m.

Crocker Art Museum Art Mix w/ Lonely Bulls, DJ Larry Rodriguez and More, 5 p.m.

District 30 Green Velvet, 9 p.m.

Dive Bar Dueling Pianos, 9 p.m.

El Dorado Saloon DJ River, 9 p.m.

Fox & Goose Steve McLane, 8 p.m.

Harris Center for the Arts Take 6, 7:30 p.m.

The Hideaway Bar & Grill Trash Rock Thursdays, 9 p.m.

Louie’s Cocktail Lounge Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Mix DJ Eddie Edul, DJ Peeti V, 9 p.m.

Nicholson’s MusiCafe Holiday Ukulele Workshop w/ Eddie Honeyeater, 7:30 p.m.

Pine Cove Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub 2 Steps Down, 9 p.m.

Shine Jazz Jam w/ Jason Galbraith and the House Band, 8 p.m.

Stoney’s Buck Ford Band, 10 p.m.

Torch Club X Trio, 5 p.m.; Sean Lehe, 9 p.m.

12.11 Friday

Ace of Spades The Maine, The Technicolors, 6:30 p.m.

Bar 101 Jacob Nolan, 9:30 p.m.

Berryessa Brewing Co. Roots Man Project, 5 p.m.

The Blue Lamp Toys for Tots: Lonely Kings, Rebel Punk, Fudi, Burning Landscapes, 8 p.m.

Cache Creek Casino Frank Sinatra, Jr., 8 p.m.

Capitol Garage Fyah Fridays w/ DJ Jaytwo, 10 p.m.

Crest Theatre Big Bad Voodoo Daddy, Twilight Drifters, 7 p.m.

Dive Bar Good Company: Jon Reyes, Druskee, 9 p.m.

El Dorado Saloon DJ River, 9 p.m.

Fox & Goose Banjo Bones, Halfpence and Haypenny, Pine Street Ramblers, 9 p.m.

Golden Bear DJ Crook, 10 p.m.

Goldfield Michael Beck Band, 9 p.m.

Harlow’s Tommy Castro and the Painkillers, 8 p.m.

Harris Center for the Arts The Nelson Riddle Orchestra (Sinatra Centennial Celebration), 2 & 7:30 p.m.

Kupros Craft House The Stummies, 9 p.m.

Mix DJ Gabe Xavier, 9 p.m.

Nicholson’s MusiCafe Open Mic Night, 6 p.m.

Old Ironsides Garble, Belly Gunner, Would Be Train Robbers, 9 p.m

Jazz Jam w/

Jason Galbraith and the House Band Shine 8 p.m.

12.08 Bell Witch Wrekmeister Harmonies, Chrch Starlite Lounge 8 p.m.

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Issue 202 • December 7 – December 21, 2015

Photo by Invisible Hour

12.10

Photo by Manny Dominguez

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

The Park Ultra Lounge DJ Shift, 9 p.m.

Pine Cove Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Chris Gardner’s Christmas Country Special, 9:30 p.m.

Press Club DJ Rue, 9 p.m.

Red Hawk Casino Twice As Good, 4 p.m ; The Spazmatics, 9:30 p.m.

Shine Hans! & the Hot Mess, Brian Chris Rogers, The Corey Kennedy Band, 8 p.m.

The Stag Night Damage, Valiant Steed, Death Party At The Beach, 8 p.m.

Starlite Lounge This Green City feat. In Letter Form, Ballerina Black, Gamine Grey and More, 8 p.m.

Torch Club Pailer and Fratis, 5:30 p.m.; Steven Roth Band, Tony Glazer, 9 p.m.

12.12 Saturday

Ace of Spades Junkie Kid, Bl3r, Whyel, Starx, 6:30 p.m.

Bar 101 Billy Manzik, 9:30 p.m.

Berryessa Brewing Co. Tell River, 3 p.m.

The Blue Lamp Sleeprockers: Joints & Jams, 9 p.m.

The Boardwalk Devin the Dude, Potluck, 7 p.m.

Cache Creek Casino K Brosas, Jay R., 8 p.m.

Capitol Garage Feel Good Saturday’s w/ DJ Epik, 10 p.m.

The Colony A Toy Drive for Mustard Seed: The Rollin’ Blackouts, Rat Stomp, The Losing Kind, URD-OM, Xoblique, 8 p.m.

District 30 DJ Billy Lane, 9 p.m.

Fox & Goose ClayDogs, Diva Kings, 9 p.m.

Goldfield Branded, 9 p.m.

Harlow’s Strangelove (Depeche Mode tribute), Sorta Like Heaven (The Cure tribute), 9 p.m.

Harris Center for the Arts Placer Pops Chorale: A Holiday Homecoming, 2 p.m.

Harris Center for the Arts: City Studio Theater Lady of the Lake, 7:30 p.m.

KBAR Z Rokk, 9 p.m.

Kupros Craft House Sac Playboys, 9 p.m.

Luna’s Cafe Patrick Grizzell & Proxy Moon (CD Release), Ricky Berger, 8 p.m.

Main Stage Theater (Grass Valley) Roy Rogers & The Delta Rhythm Kings, 8 p.m Mix DJ Eddie Edul, 9 p.m.

Nicholson’s MusiCafe Free Ukulele Class, 1 p.m.

Old Ironsides Drive Thru Mystics, Phantom Jets, Jem And Scout, 9 p.m The Park Ultra Lounge DJ Peeti V, 9:30 p.m.

Pine Cove Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Bad Santa Bash w/ Get Lucky Band, DJ Alazzawi, 7:30 p.m.

Press Club DJ Larry Rodriguez, 9 p.m.

Red Hawk Casino Max Cabello, Jr., 10 p.m.

Sacramento Convention Center Sacramento Choral Society and Orchestra Presents Home for the Holidays, 8 p.m.

Shine Ras Kronik & The Culprits, 8 p.m.

Starlite Lounge Rockabilly Jingle Ball Toy Drive w/ Big Sandy and More, 2 p.m.; In The Silence, Dire Peril, Discordia, Cursed Cowboys, 8 p.m.

Torch Club Thick Soup, 5:30 p.m.; RJ Mischo, 9 p.m.

12.13 sunday

Ace of Spades Joe Nichols, Brodie Stewart, 7 p.m.

Berryessa Brewing Co. What’s Left, 3 p.m.

The Blue Lamp Doug C & The Blacklisted, Heathen Apostles, Jon Emery, 4 p.m.; “Put Sac On” Showcase, 8 p.m.

The Boardwalk Metro Station, Zach Van Dyck, The Color Wild, 7 p.m.

Broderick Roadhouse Karaoke w/ DJ Jazcat, 9 p.m.

Cache Creek Casino K Brosas, Jay R., 4 p.m.

California State Capitol Museum Sacramento Youth Symphony’s Wind Ensemble, 1 p.m.

Capitol Garage Karaoke w/ Jeff Jenkins, 9 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 8 p.m.

Harlow’s The Dustbowl Revival, Leftover Cuties, The Wild Reeds, 6:30 p.m.

Harrah’s Lake Tahoe Umphrey’s McGee, Tauk, 7:30 p.m.

Harris Center for the Arts Placer Pops Chorale: A Holiday Homecoming, 2 p.m.

Harris Center for the Arts: City Studio Theater Lady of the Lake, 2 p.m.

Mix DJ Gabe Xavier, 8:30 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Max Cabello, 3 p.m.

Press Club Sunday Night Soul Party w/ DJ Larry Rodriguez, 9 p.m.

Rolling Hills Church (Folsom) Holiday Festival of the Arts w/ Folsom High School Jazz Band, Jazz Choir and More, 6 p.m.

Starlite Lounge Aerial Ruin, Noctooa, 8 p.m.

Torch Club Divalicious Christmas Benefit for Albie Aware feat.

Dana Moret, Gayiel Von, Jessica Malone, Whoopie Qat and More, 3 p.m.; Front the Band, 9 p.m.

UC Davis: Jackson Hall American Bach Soloists, 4 p.m

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Ace of Spades Twenty One Pilots, Echo Smith, 7 p.m. (Sold Out) The Boxing Donkey Open Mic Variety Night, 8 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Fox & Goose Open Mic Night, 7:30 p.m.

Goldfield Open Mic Night hosted

by James Cavern, 9 p.m.

Harlow’s Nick’s Quality Holiday Revue feat. Nick Lowe and Los Straitjackets, The Cactus Blossoms, 5:30 p.m.

Louie’s Cocktail Lounge Karaoke, 9 p.m.

LowBrau Motown on Monday’s w/ DJ Epik, 9 p.m.

Luna’s Cafe Nebraska Mondays hosted by Ross Hammond, 7:30 p.m.

Press Club L.A. Witch, Feels, Nmbrsttn, 8 p.m.

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12.15 Tuesday

12.12 Thick Soup Torch Club 5:30 p.m.

The Blue Lamp Kali Boyz, Charlie Muscle, Brutha Smith, Mr. P Chill, Sparks Across Darkness, Riot Craig, Max Bundles, Light-Skinned Creole, J.Smo, Cadaver the Rapper and more, 9 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Dive Bar Dueling Pianos, 9 p.m.

Kupros Craft House Open Mic, 8 p.m.

LowBrau Le Twist Tuesdays w/ Sam I Jam, Roger Carpio, Adam J and Guests, 9 p.m.

Nicholson’s MusiCafe Beginning Bluegrass Club, 6:30 p.m.

Old Ironsides Karaoke, 9 p.m.

continued on page 28 SubmergeMag.com

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Issue 202 • December 7 – December 21, 2015

27

Phaullcy Horseneck, (waning) The Blue Lamp 8 p.m.

12.19 12.20

12.18 Pine Cove Open Mic Night, 9 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Live Band Karaoke, 8 p.m.

Press Club Miss Ashleigh, 9 p.m.

Torch Club Chris Twomey, 5:30 p.m.; Michael Ray, 8 p.m.

12.16 wednesday

Bar 101 Open Mic, 7:30 p.m.

The Blue Lamp Dee Roq, 8 p.m.

Club Car The Double Shots, 7:30 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m.

District 30 Sander Van Doorn, Alexx Adam, 9 p.m.

Dive Bar Open Mic hosted by Gabe Cole, 8 p.m.

Fox & Goose All Vinyl Wednesdays w/ DJ AA Knuff, 8 p.m.

Mix DJ Gabe Xavier, DJ Peeti V, 9 p.m.

Nicholson’s MusiCafe Acoustic Open Mic, 6 p.m.

Old Ironsides Open Mic, 9 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub 98 Rock Local Licks Free Live Music Series, 8 p.m.

Press Club House Fusion: DJ Nard, Sam Gabriel, Tony Sardella, Van Yeti, Daryl Posnett, 9 p.m.

Torch Club Sandra Dolores, 5:30 p.m.; Brandy Robinson, Hans & the Hot Mess, 9 p.m.

12.17 Thursday

Bar 101 Karaoke, 7:30 p.m.

The Blue Lamp The Draft, 8 p.m.

Capitol Garage Karaoke w/ Jeff Jenkins, 10 p.m.

Club Car Songwriters Showcase, 8 p.m.

The Coffee Garden Open Mic Night, 8 p.m.

District 30 Dash Berlin, Alexx Adam, 9 p.m.

Dive Bar Dueling Pianos, 9 p.m.

El Dorado Saloon DJ River, 9 p.m.

Fox & Goose The Mike Justis Band, 8 p.m.

Harlow’s Suga Free, B Legit, 9 p.m.

The Hideaway Bar & Grill Trash Rock Thursdays, 9 p.m.

Louie’s Cocktail Lounge Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Mix DJ Eddie Edul, DJ Peeti V, 9 p.m.

Nicholson’s MusiCafe Student Recital Presented by Jeff Cassinelli, 7 p.m.

Old Ironsides Open Acoustic Jam, 8 p.m.

Pine Cove Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Adam Donald Band, 9 p.m.

Shine Jazz Jam w/ Jason Galbraith and the House Band, 8 p.m.

Stoney’s Flat Busted, 9:30 p.m.

Pink Mammoth Vitamindevo, Lisa Rose, Kerry Bo Berry and More Midtown BarFly 5 p.m.

Misner and Smith Berryessa Brewing Co. 3 p.m.

Photo by Rik Keller

Torch Club X Trio, 5 p.m.; Hunter & the Dirty Jacks, 9 p.m.

12.18 FRIDAY

Ace of Spades Falling in Reverse, Atreyu, From Ashes to New, Assuming We Survive, 6 p.m.

Bar 101 Andrew Castro, 9:30 p.m.

Berryessa Brewing Co. Muddy Waders, 5 p.m.

The Blue Lamp Phallucy, Horseneck, (waning), 8 p.m.

The Boardwalk Minnesota, 7 p.m.

Capitol Garage Fyah Fridays w/ DJ Jaytwo, 10 p.m.

DeVille Vacaville Buck Ford’s Country Christmas feat. Bailey Rose, 8 p.m.

El Dorado Saloon Madison Hudson, 9 p.m.

Fox & Goose Aquifer, Be Brave Bold Robot, Jingle Monkies, The Stummies, Gavin Canaan, 8:30 p.m.

Golden Bear DJ Crook, 10 p.m.

Goldfield Chris Gardner, 9 p.m.

Harlow’s Close to You (Carpenters tribute), 5:30 p.m.; B Side Players, Sol Peligro, 8:30 p.m.

Kupros Craft House Adam Block Trio, 9 p.m.

Luna’s Cafe Big Poppy, Rowan McGuire, Half Step Down, 8 p.m.

Main Stage Theater (Grass Valley) The Windham Hill Winter Solstice Celebration, 8 p.m Mix DJ Gabe Xavier, 9 p.m.

Nicholson’s MusiCafe Open Mic Night, 6 p.m.

Old Ironsides Iron Hearts, Back Alley Buzzards, Criminal Rock, Simpl3Jack, 8 p.m Our Lady of the Assumption Parish Raymond James Irwin’s Christmas Benefit Concert, 7 p.m.

The Park Ultra Lounge DJ Louie Giovanni feat. David Garibaldi, 9 p.m.

Pine Cove Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Superlicious, 9:30 p.m.

Press Club DJ Rue, 9 p.m.

Red Hawk Casino Hannah Jane Kile, 4 p.m.; Decades, 9:30 p.m.

Shine Instagon, The Babalus, 8 p.m.

The Stag Creepy Little Legs, VVomen, The Polyorchids, Pisscat, 9 p.m.

Starlite Lounge Warm Up The Streets Clothing Drive feat. Point Of No Return, Charlie Muscle, Riot Craig x Inkdup and More, 8 p.m.

Torch Club Pailer & Fratis, 5:30 p.m.; Mr. December, 9 p.m.

12.19 Saturday

Ace of Spades Dance Gavin Dance, Slaves, A Lot Like Birds, DayShell, Strawberry Girls, Wolf & Bear, 6 p.m.

Bar 101 Whiskey Alley, 9:30 p.m.

Berryessa Brewing Co. Element Brass Band, 3 p.m.

The Blue Lamp Poison Idea, Alarms, Shove It, Cold Trap, Surf Combat, 8 p.m.

The Boardwalk Volumes, Northlane Cane Hill, Coldrain, Ghost/Aeon, 6:30 p.m.

Cache Creek Casino Isley Brothers, 8 p.m.

Capitol Garage Feel Good Saturday’s w/ DJ Epik, 10 p.m.

El Dorado Saloon Black Zepplin, 9 p.m.

Fox & Goose Polymers, Jackson Griffith, Joseph Kojima Gray, 9 p.m.

Goldfield Country DJ Dancing, 9 p.m.

Harlow’s Before The Brave, Josh Lane, Madi Sipes & the Painted Blue, 5:30 p.m.; Midnight Players, 9:30 p.m.

Harrah’s Lake Tahoe Cheap Trick, 7:30 p.m.

KBAR Z Rokk, 9 p.m.

Kupros Craft House Michael Ray, 9 p.m.

Luna’s Cafe Silver Spoons, Azeotropes, 7 p.m.

Midtown BarFly The Playa Provides 2015 w/ Pink Mammoth, Vitamindevo, Lisa Rose, Kerry Bo Berry and More, 5 p.m.

Mix DJ Eddie Edul, 9 p.m.

Nicholson’s MusiCafe Ukulele Sing Along & Holiday Performance, 12 p.m.; Dr. Hall Songwriter Showcase, 2:30 p.m.

Old Ironsides Lipstick! w/ DJ Shaun Slaughter, DJ Roger Carpio, 9 p.m.

Pine Cove Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Rock Me Naughty w/ The Infamous Swanks, The Nickel Slots, JitterBug Riot, 9 p.m.

Press Club DJ Larry Rodriguez, 9 p.m.

Red Hawk Casino Steel Breeze, 10 p.m.

Shine Honyock, Grant Chesin Band, Connor Hormell, 8 p.m.

St. Francis of Assisi Catholic Church Jingle All the Way feat.

Sacramento Master Singers, 2 p.m.

Starlite Lounge Wolvhammer, Atriarch, Modraniht, Worship of Keres, 8 p.m.

Torch Club The California Stars, 5:30 p.m.; Island of Black & White, 9 p.m.

12.20 Sunday

Berryessa Brewing Co. Misner and Smith, 3 p.m.

Last Cut wasn’t so super?

Get it fixed at anthony’s barbershop 2408 21st st • Sac • sacramentobarbershop.com (916) 457-1120 • Tues-Fri 9am-6pm • saT 10am-4pm

28

Issue 202 • December 7 – December 21, 2015

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

12.15

5th Annual Shred for Sushi Rail Jam 2015 Sushi Pier Tahoe 5 p.m.

The Blue Lamp Knockdown Muzik Cancer Benefit, 2 p.m.

The Boardwalk Graveshadow (CD Release), Crepuslce, Zeroclient, Conceived in Chaos, Astral Cult, 6 p.m.

Broderick Roadhouse Karaoke w/ DJ Jazcat, 9 p.m.

Cache Creek Casino Ms. Eliza Chan, Mr. Kai Chang, 1 & 4 p.m.

Capitol Garage Karaoke w/ Jeff Jenkins, 9 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 8 p.m.

Harlow’s The Rat Pack Christmas Show, 5 p.m.; Killah Priest, Ras Kass, 9:30 p.m.

Mix DJ Gabe Xavier, 8:30 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Briefcase Full of Blues, 3 p.m.

Press Club Sunday Night Soul Party w/ DJ Larry Rodriguez, 9 p.m.

Torch Club Blues Jam, 4 p.m.; Front the Band, 6 p.m.

12.21 Monday

The Boxing Donkey Open Mic Variety Night, 8 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Fox & Goose Open Mic Night, 7:30 p.m.

Goldfield Open Mic Night hosted

by James Cavern, 9 p.m.

Louie’s Cocktail Lounge Karaoke, 9 p.m.

LowBrau Motown on Monday’s w/ DJ Epik, 9 p.m.

Luna’s Cafe Nebraska Mondays hosted by Ross Hammond, 7:30 p.m.

Comedy The Boardwalk Pauly Shore, Billy Galloway, Danny Luna, Stephen Tierney, Dec. 11, 8 p.m.

Laughs Unlimited Comedy Funk X-Mas Show w/ Kiry Shabazz, DJ Sandhu, Curtis Newingham, Diego Curiel, JR De Guzman, Dec. 10, 8 p.m.

Cory and Chad “The Smash Brothers,” Dec. 11 - 13, Fri. & Sat., 8 p.m. & 10:30 p.m.; Sun., 7 p.m.

Best of Open Mic Showcase, Dec. 15, 8 p.m.

Say It Loud Comedy Presented

by Michael Calvin Jr., Dec, 17, 8 p.m.

SubmergeMag.com

Paul Ogata feat. Michael Calvin Jr., Dec. 18 - 20, Fri. & Sat., 8 p.m. & 10:30 p.m.; Sun., 7 p.m.

Luna’s Cafe Open Mic Comedy Hosted by Jaime Fernandez, every Tuesday, 7:30 p.m.

Comedy Night Hosted by John Ross feat. Lourdes Jimenez, Dec. 11, 7 p.m.

STAB! Hosted by John Ross, Dec. 16, 8 p.m.

Old Ironsides Real Live Comedians Hosted by Jason Mack, Dec. 10, 8 p.m.

Ooley Theater Comedy Night at the Ooley, every Thursday, 8 p.m.

Punchline Comedy Club DTF Comedy Snowcase Holiday Show, Dec. 9, 8 p.m.

Aries Spears, Dec. 10 - 13, Thurs., 8 p.m.; Fri. & Sat., 8 & 10 p.m.; Sun., 7 p.m.

Sacramento Comedy Showcase, Dec. 16, 8 p.m.

Nick Guerra, Dec. 17 - 20, Thurs., 8 p.m.; Fri. & Sat., 8 & 10 p.m.; Sun., 7 p.m.

Sacramento Comedy Spot Open Mic, Sunday’s and Monday’s, 8 p.m.

Improv Lab, Harold Night & Gordon Teams, Wednesday’s, 7 - 10 p.m.

Cage Match & Improv Jam, Thursday’s, 8 - 10 p.m.

Anti-Cooperation League, Saturday’s, 9 p.m.

Tommy T’s Corey Holcomb, Dec. 11 - 13 Steve McGrew, Dec. 17 - 20

Misc.

20th Street (Between J and K) Midtown Farmers Market, every Saturday, 8 a.m.

B Street Theatre Mainstage Series: Handle With Care by Jason Odell Williams, through Jan. 3 Family Series: A Christmas Carol, through Dec. 27 Blue Cue Bar Bingo, Wednesday’s, 9 p.m.

Blue Line Arts Gallery 30 x 30 Exhibit, through Jan. 9 Freeze Frame: Photography Art Competition, through Jan. 9 The Boxing Donkey Trivia Night, every Tuesday, 8 p.m.

California State Capitol Park Sacramento Santa Parade, Dec. 12, 10 a.m.

Capitol Garage Geeks Who Drink Trivia Night, Wednesday’s, 9 p.m.

Crest Theatre Elf, Dec. 12, 7:30 p.m.

A Christmas Story, Dec. 3 & 7:30 p.m.

La Pastorella de Sactown, Dec. 19, 7 p.m.

It’s A Wonderful Life, Dec. 20, 3 & 7:30 p.m.

Crocker Art Museum Art Mix: Revolution, Dec. 10, 5 p.m.

Divine Ammunition: The Sculpture of Al Farrow, through Jan. 3, 2016 Rain Forest Visions: Amazonian Ceramics from Ecuador/The Melza and Ted Barr Collection, through Feb 14, 2016 Back to Life: Bay Area Figurative Drawings, through May 1, 2016 Formoli’s Bistro Family Night with Pasta Vinny, Dec. 21, 6 p.m.

Fox & Goose Pub Quiz, Tuesday’s, 7 p.m.

Fremont Park Phil Kline’s Unsilent Night: Sacramento, Dec. 12, 7 p.m.

Golden Bear 5th Annual Hot Toddy Competition, Dec. 8, 6 p.m.

Historic Old Folsom Farmers’ Market, Saturdays, 8 a.m.

Iceland Ice Skating Rink The Holiday Ice Show, Dec. 19 - 20, 8 p.m.

Kupros Craft House Trivia with Triviology 101, Sundays, 7:30 p.m.

Luna’s Cafe Poetry Unplugged, every Thursday, 8 p.m.

Midtown BarFly Salsa Lessons, every Wednesday, 8 p.m.

The Midtown Moxies Burlesque Presents Holiday Spectacular: ‘Tease The Season, Dec. 12, 8 p.m.

Pine Cove Trivia Night, Wednesday’s, 9 p.m.

Press Club Flex Your Head Trivia, every Tuesday, 8 p.m.

Frack Girls Timeless Tease Burlesque Show, Dec. 17, 9 p.m.

Raley Field Golden State Hockey Rush: Stockton Heat vs.

Bakersfield Condors, Dec. 18, 7:30 p.m.

Sheldon High School Performing Arts Center Capitol Ballet Company Presents: The Nutcracker, Dec. 12, 2 p.m.

Sushi Pier Tahoe 5th Annual Shred for Sushi Rail Jam 2015: Benefiting the Boys & Girls Club of South Lake Tahoe, Dec. 15, 5 p.m.

Sutter Street Theatre Holiday in the Hills, through Dec. 23 Tommy T’s The Darling Clementines: 1920s Themed Burlesque & Variety Show, Dec. 16, 8 p.m.

WAL Public Market Art Exhibit: 10 Under 100, Dec. 11 - Jan. 7 White Buffalo Gallery Art Exhibit: Terraforming by Jared Tharp, Dec. 10 - Jan. 2 William Land Park The Ugly Sweater Run: Sacramento, Dec. 12, 11 a.m.

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www.soundsofsacramentorehearsal.com Issue 202 • December 7 – December 21, 2015

29

Positively Pauly

Pauly shore and The Phenomenon of Nostalgia Words Ryan J. Prado

S

cene: It’s 1990 or 1991. You are a popculture sponge, spending long hours in front of the television set, beginning to notice the opposite sex, starting to cultivate your own sense of individuality. You are listening to bitchin’ music. You are amazed and annoyed, elated and embarrassed by everything you see, hear, smell, touch or taste. Then you see him—some curlyhaired punk-Steven Tyler making strange carnal noises with his mouth, calling you “Buuu … ddy” and calling himself a weasel, courting throngs of tanned-skinned revelers for MTV’s Spring Break.

A year later he stars in a film about guiding a thawed-out caveman through the Encino school system with a guy who later grows up to play Samwise Gamgee.

30

You have found your ultimate god-figure, and you’re not even a teenager yet. AND SCENE. Pardon the indulgence of regurgitating what is mainly my personal experience with relation to the now-legendary comedian Pauly Shore.

That my introduction to Shore was hardly unique, in a relative sense, is important when thinking about who Shore is now, who you are now, who Shore thinks he is now and how most people feel about him now. This is an exercise in the metaphysical world of Pauly Shore and Those He Has Influenced, and there are not nearly enough words assigned to tackle the whole boiling mass.

As unfortunate as it is, the ebb and flow of show business can be unforgiving to some people, and there are two camps you’ll find with

Issue 202 • December 7 – December 21, 2015

regard to the phenomenon of Pauly Shore: those who aren’t assholes and appreciate entertainers in all their shapes and seasons, stars burning brightly or dully; and who that aren’t assholes, but just think Shore was never very funny to begin with.

There are probably other camps, too. Most notably those for whom the ephemera of Shore’s salad days ought to have just been bottled up in a time capsule and appreciated for what they were: the product of a comedian raised by comedians who was destined to be something big, no matter what it was.

This is all to comment on the fact that Pauly Shore is coming to town to do stand-up. Lots of nostalgia acts—regardless of the stigma such a

tag may connote—have to deal with questions like Shore doubtlessly does all the time. They’re tough questions to ask. Remember when you did Son-In-Law? Remember when you did In the Army Now? Hey, by the way, working on anything new?

Luckily Shore is a bit of a workaholic, and has enjoyed much more exposure in recent years thanks to the explosion of comedy podcasts who line up to have him as a guest. After all, Shore’s mother owned and operated Los Angeles’ famous Comedy Store for decades, including during stand-up comedy’s heyday in the early to mid-‘80s. Shore’s father used to open up for Elvis Presley. Pauly himself was mentored by the late, great Sam Kinison. There’s a rich history here that is widely known and is great foddler for audio trips down memory lane.

In 2005, Shore produced and starred in the mockumentary Pauly Shore Is Dead, riffing on the idea of what mainstream America must have surely thought was the case stemming from Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

“I’d rather be known than unknown. There are a lot of people who work really hard to come up with something and they never do and they go away. I was able to, at the time in my 20s, make a mark for better or for worse.”

– Pauly Shore, on his early success as an MTV VJ and actor Shore’s absence from the spotlight in the new millennium. An entirely more riveting, nonmocking documentary emerged in 2014 titled Pauly Shore Stands Alone followed Shore on a Midwest tour of comedy clubs. This acclaimed doc vacillated between Shore’s raucous stage shows, run-ins with Weasel worshippers and Shore struggling with the long-distance care of his ailing mother (Mitzi Shore has suffered from Parkinson’s for years) while her longtime home was being sold.

Most recently, Shore started a podcast, and has an impressive list of guests for shows available via his website.

“When you interview people, it’s never about you and that’s kind of what I like,” explains Shore by phone from L.A. “My whole career it’s always been about me. It’s nice to take it off of me and put it on someone else. For me, challenging that muscle in my brain to stop talking about myself …

I like that. It was something different.”

It’s an iffy kind of conversation Shore and I have, hence all the windbaggery. There are talks of new projects in the works, but they are stunted.

“I don’t wanna tell you what projects I’m working on because I don’t like to talk about them until they’re finished and coming out, ya know?” explains Shore straight away.

When pressed, Shore opens up about his love for comedy, its place in his life and the reason he doesn’t have kids.

“My first love is my comedy and my work.

That’s where my heart is and that’s probably the reason I don’t have a family,” says Shore. “I’m super selfish and super into my thing. You only have so much time in the day to create projects and to do stuff. So that’s where my heart is, but of course, I lose out on a lot of love, and children and all that stuff. But I have other things I get to do. I just don’t know if that’s ever in the cards for me. It’s never too late, obviously, to have a family. But my family is my stuff.”

Of that “stuff” currently in the works is the editing of the videos that Shore shot in conjunction with the podcasts he recorded featuring guests like Garry Shandling, Nick Kroll, Gallagher, Chris Kattan and many more.

“A lot of the people I interview, I’m really interested in them, and I think it comes across that way,” explains Shore. “I’d have to say the videos will be kind of groundbreaking. No one has ever done them like this before. I spent a lot of time and money on making them look good to tell the stories of these different people. I’m pretty stoked about that.”

On the stand-up side of things, Shore keeps within tight orbit of the smaller market cities and venues, of the suburbanites who may be more forgiving of his relatively limited range for joke-telling. Which is not to say that Shore is SubmergeMag.com

unfunny, or that his ability to entertain people has somehow faded away; in fact, his stand-up tours regularly sell out in smaller venues.

Still, you’d be hard-pressed to find any of Shore’s jokes to be all that funny. Sure, they’re abrasive, or offensive, or perhaps provocative enough to elicit nervous laughter from the sober and riotous I’ll-laugh-at-anything snorts from the four-drink minimum set. The truth is that Shore's shows mainly consist of exhuming his '90s shtick, while throwing in hackneyed bits that don't go a long way to convince detractors that Shore's strengths are in telling actual jokes.

Or maybe the joke’s on us. Maybe we’re the assholes.

“I love self-deprecating humor, I love playing the victim,” explains Shore. “I wouldn’t say that’s my whole act. I’d have to say [my early success] is the elephant that’s in the room that I address and then I move on from it.

“Comedy is one of those things that you don’t choose it; it chooses you. So I grew up around it, but it’s in my system, ya know? So coming to Sacramento, it’s not like I’m so excited to hop on a plane and do all that stuff, but I know at the end of the line there’s an audience there. I’m able to feel that love and give back.”

Shore explains that it’s the positive energy he gets from people in public every day, in the audience at his shows, or anywhere he goes that he counts as the most rewarding aspects of his career to now. After all, he is Stoney Brown. He is Crawl. He is Totally Pauly. He is the Wea … sel.

And to Shore, myself, and a huge cult fan base, that’s just fine.

“You can’t bite the hand that feeds you,” admits Shore. “All of that stuff is kind of what made me. It was so big and it was so massive that you can’t get away from it. There’s no getting away from it; it’s just there and you just kind of deal with it and flow with it. I’d rather be known than unknown. There are a lot of people who work really hard to come up with something and they never do and they go away. I was able to, at the time in my 20s, make a mark for better or for worse. It was what it was. The timing hit with MTV and all the films and it had a really good run.

To this day, 20 years later, I still have that same audience that has grown with me. I’m pretty lucky, I’d have to say.”

Catch Pauly Shore’s stand-up comedy show Dec. 11 at The Boardwalk in Orangevale with special guests Billy Galloway, Danny Luna and Stephen Tierney.

The show starts at 8 p.m and tickets are $20 in advance ($25 the day of the show). Buy tickets and find more info at Theboardwalkpresents.com.

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info@submergemag.com Issue 202 • December 7 – December 21, 2015

31

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Issue 202 • December 7 – December 21, 2015

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

On the Road with Element Brass Band

Element Brass Band is known for popping up around Sacramento for impromptu performances. But they also take their show on the road, beyond our fair valley city. Presented here is a quick photo tour diary of their recent romp around Atlanta.

Leaving Sac: We roll DEEP. This is the second half of us leaving for Atlanta a little too early after an incredible send-off at Blue Lamp the night before.

Band in action: The first of the gala events on the tour. A whole lot of rich white people. Not a lot of rhythm. Shoutout to the awesome staff for sneaking us into the back room and letting us use the piano for that video shoot though!

Kaila and Sir Charles: Kaila finally got to thank Charles Barkley for Space Jam.

At the house: Pizza and beer at the house after a long day of travel. Have you ever lugged a sousaphone through an airport? Don’t.

The practice never stops: What players do while the iron heats up.

Drink your greens: Up and at ‘em bright and early (noon) still jetlagged. J Ross has convinced everyone to drink a magic green hippie concoction she swears by.

It’s by far the healthiest thing we will be drinking on this trip.

Morning workout: Porch yoga.

Gala crew shot: The second gala gig. Bring on the free booze and beignets.

Band on the move: Headed into the heart of downtown with the band.

Breaking bread: Talking jazz and eating soul food at the legendary Mary Mac’s Tea Room.

Street corner kids: Guerrilla art at its finest. Getting down with some locals outside of a blasphemous little bar called Church.

Headless hungover band leader: Name that band member.

His feet must have been cold. That’s the only reason to sleep with shoes on right?

Andru Apache: Andru Defeye on stage performing at the historic Apache Café.

MLK's birthplace: Martin Luther King Jr.’s birth home, a few blocks from where we stayed in Atlanta.

Protect Your Magic: Seemed like good advice.

Street art: SO much amazing street art.

SubmergeMag.com

Grillz: Because gold teeth.

Gandhi’s glasses: Gandhi’s glasses at the Martin Luther King Jr. Center for Nonviolent Social Change in Atlanta.

The Eternal Flame: The Eternal Flame sits right across from Martin and Coretta’s final resting places.

Speaker’s Corner: Operated by the city, anyone can sign up at any time for 15-minute intervals on this proverbial soapbox.

Issue 202 • December 7 – December 21, 2015

Check out Element Brass Band when they play live at Berryessa Brewing Company on Dec. 19. The band plays from 3–6 p.m. Berryessa Brewing Company is located in Winters at 27260 Highway 128.

33

Tuesday

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H a r l o w ’ s • 270 8 J s t r e e t • s a c r a m e n t o • 21 & o v e r • 8: 0 0 p m

H a r l o w ’ s • 270 8 J s t r e e t • s a c r a m e n t o • 21 & o v e r • 8: 0 0 p m

protoMartyr Chastity beLt • g. green

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Dengue fever anDerson east + Dylan leblanC the brothers CoMatose

H a r l o w ’ s • 270 8 J s t r e e t • s a c r a m e n t o • 21 & o v e r • 9 : 0 0 p m

Wednesday

dec 9 sunday

dec 13 Wednesday

jan 13 Wednesday

jan 13 sunday

jan 17 sunday

jan 24 Wednesday

feb 3 friday

feb 19 Tuesday

feb 23 saTurday

mar 5 saTurday

mar 5 Tuesday

mar 8

H a r l o w ’ s • 270 8 J s t r e e t • s a c r a m e n t o • 21 & o v e r • 8: 0 0 p m

(CD release show)

H a r l o w ’ s • 270 8 J s t r e e t • s a c r a m e n t o • 21 & o v e r • 9 : 0 0 p m

the blaCk lillies

H a r l o w ’ s • 270 8 J s t r e e t • s a c r a m e n t o • 21 & o v e r • 8: 0 0 p m

saTurday

mar 19 Tuesday

mar 22

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Issue 202 • December 7 – December 21, 2015

It’s almost upon us. Are you ready? NO! Not the Holidays … I’m talking about Star Wars.

Dec. 17, 2015 will be the inaugural Nerdmas when The Force Awakens opens a new chapter in fantasy filmmaking’s most lucrative franchise.

I’m doing my best to stay away from spoilers, but I did see the full trailer on the big screen before a recent viewing of Spectre that prompted me to lean over to my fiancee and say, “I need a new pair of pants.”

I was in the camp of people who hated the prequels. I hated them not because of Jar Jar Binks or anything like that, but because they were just boring and lifeless. I hated them so much that I’ve never bothered watching the third one, even though I own an unopened copy of the DVD. I’m a spiteful nerd.

Still, I’m excited to see something new. Even though it’s technically something old (almost as old as I am, in fact). I’m not the only one, obviously, as children of the ‘80s are frothing at the mouth to see the rebirth of their favorite film series, ready to gorge themselves on nostalgia and perhaps force-feed Star Wars to their own touch screen-obsessed children. In anticipation of the most anticipated film release of the year, advance ticket sales are shattering previously held records, which has played well into the entrepreneurial spirit of many Americans. According to International Business Times, scalpers are selling opening night tickets online for upwards of $200. In Chicago, tickets are ranging from “$25 for an ordinary screening” to “$125 a pop” for reserved seating. Meanwhile, if you’d like to see an opening night screening of the movie in IMAX at New York City’s Lincoln Center, you can point your browser to Craigslist. org, and pick up a pair for a measly $400.

When I was younger, I used to love going to movies on opening night. The theater is packed, and there’s a lot of good energy there. I saw the re-release of the very first Star Wars movie, A New Hope, on opening night, and when the iconic first strains of John Williams’ score rattled the theater’s sound system, everyone applauded. My nerd heart grew three sizes that day.

But now that I’m older and grumpier, it’s like, what’s the point? I work weird hours and have shitty days off in the middle of the week, so I’ve grown accustomed to going places when there’s

James Barone jb@submergemag.com no one there. Tuesday afternoon matinee? Sure.

I’ll have the whole row to myself. Maybe even the whole theater. I don’t have to wait long in line for a “small” popcorn and an ice-filled Coke Zero.

I still love seeing movies on the big screen.

My flat screen TV is pretty cool, but it’s not nearly as cool as the great expanse of projection you’ll find at the cinema.

I also love the way theaters smell. Who would have thought that the melange of spilled sodas, lard butter and teenagers-making-out-in-the-dark pheromones would create such a heady and alluring brew?

I also have a hard-on for cupholders.

But as much as I love Star Wars, going to the movies and cupholders, I won’t be paying more than ticket price to go see The Force Awakens, and I don’t see why you should either. It’s a movie. It’s not like they’re only going to show it once. A film of this magnitude will probably be in theaters until February, and the version you’ll see on Feb. 3 will be the same one as the one you’ll see Dec. 17.

You might be worried that you’ll hear spoilers.

And yes, you can be assured that people are going to be talking about it, but what could they possibly spoil? It’s not like some big mystery.

It’s Star Wars. They’ve been putting out Star Wars movies since 1977. While some may be better than others, if you’ve seen one, you’ve seen all of them. There are going to be some sweet lightsaber battles, and some kooky alien characters and epic spaceship firefights. Someone could recount it to you word for word and when you go see it, you’ll probably still have a big, stupefied grin on your face.

If you want to spend $400 on something Star Wars related, you’re probably better off using it as a down payment on a trip to Tunisia, where you can visit Tatooine, the home of Luke Skywalker. Buried deep in the Tunisian desert, the set from the very first Star Wars movie still stands like some otherworldly ghost town.

According to Dailymail.com, the site was a big tourist attraction for the northern African country prior to the “Arab Spring” in 2011, and from the pictures, it’s easy to see why. It’s a weird blend of eerie and nostalgic. And even the bathrooms are still standing, because even in a galaxy far, far away, people still have to poop.

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

SubmergeMag.com

Issue 202 • December 7 – December 21, 2015

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Dive into Sacramento & its Surrounding Areas december 7 – 21, 2015

#202

Pauly Shore The Show Must Go On

Café Plan B

Moules et Frites for Just a few Francs

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Annual Holiday Gift Guide We Got Ya th

Ho Ho Ho Right Here!

Element Brass Band Heat Up Hotlanta Yosemite

Ditch the Crowds and Get Back to Nature

jackie greene back to basics ready to rise

free