Are you obligated to forgive your high school bullies when they apologise? The Anti-Bullying Alliance found that 1 in 4 UK children reported they were bullied in schools. With bullying often causing so much trauma to the youth of today, are they obliged to forgive their bullies if they apologise? Written by Amy James
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don’t believe that anyone who has been bullied owes the person or people who chose to bully them forgiveness. Often, particularly if the bullying happened a while ago, we’re asked to consider what made that person a bully. Who hurt them? Why do they take their feelings out on other people? But if you’re the person who’s been targeted, why should you be required to show compassion to someone who’s hurt you? Bullying, whether in high school, university, work or anywhere else, can lead to anxiety, depression, and selfharming. It can impact people throughout their lives, making it harder to develop trust or make friends. It can make 3 | nervemedia.org.uk
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children more likely to drop out of school. It can lead to body dysmorphia. In extreme cases, it can lead to suicide. In a recent YouGov poll, 19% of students between grades 9 and 12 reported being bullied in the previous year, with almost 15% of all high school students describing themselves as having been cyberbullied over the past year. Shock tactic headlines might be designed to do just that, but there are real stories behind them: children changing schools or counties to get away. A boy telling his school he was being bullied only days before killing himself. A 12-year-old girl with special needs who was cyberbullied by the ‘popular kids’ at her school to the point of committing suicide.
Almost 15% of all high school students described themselves as being cyberbullied over the past year. Bullying at any age can have a detrimental effect. But at such a formative age, in terms of emotional and mental state, and when people don’t necessarily have the barriers and coping mechanisms they may develop in later life? That can have traumatic, long lasting repercussions. We probably all know someone who has fears or insecurities dating back to high school. I know many of my own issues with my body come from then.
