“You are the worst coach on the planet!”

By Dana Pharant

In my 26 years of working with clients I have only had 3 people who have said this or something similar, and they ALL share two key things.

First is that I compromised in some way shape or form on the payment thing. I allowed them to pay nothing up front, or let the payments slide, or gave them a discount: most often in the name of wanting more clients. I love helping people, but I forgot that when people don’t pay for something, they also don’t value it.

Then I would go over in our session times because they were suffering, and this would happen repeatedly. This over giving, and not making them pay what was required when it was required created an imbalance and a debt that they felt energetically, and caused them to go into resistance to the coaching.

However, that was only a smaller part of the problem.

The second, and bigger problem was that I missed that they were not actually willing to lean way the fuck in when I called them on the victim ass bullshit that was running the show.

They all talked a good game, but in reality, when we touched the pain point of taking ALL the ownership for the crap showing up in their life .... I get yelled at and told that it is ALL MY fault that they are failing.

If you have run into these sorts of clients here are some things that I have found to be super helpful.

1. Bust out of the scarcity mindset and be willing to say NO to any client who is not a “Hell Yes” ideal client. Feeling like I “needed the money” has gotten me into way more sticky jams - over and over again. It makes me ignore my intuition and then shit goes sideways.

2. Have a contract that the new client signs giving me permission to call them on their shit. And pulling from my days as a Dominatrix, I add in a “safe-word” that indicates it is time to call bullshit, what it is, and at this point they have the option to lean in or jump ship. This allows them to take full ownership on being called out and lean into the discomfort so that we can shift it out and then get back to being a badass in business.

3. Learning to recognize and honor when a client is not a great fit; seeing who talks a great game but will not fully lean in. I choose to say No to these people even when they really want to work with me. I know that it will not be worth the added pain-in the-ass factor even if they paid me double.

4. Have a great coach in your corner to keep you honest. One that will call you out and invite you to look beyond your reaction to things and find the deeper trigger that is ready to move out as a result of what has happened. This keeps me from repeating the same pattern over and over, be it taking on the wrong clients or any other interesting mess I find myself in with business.

This is not about shaming and blaming the clients. The fact is that some clients are just not ready, and that is not about us. No matter how amazing our coaching is, they are not ready. Perhaps they need to hit a new rock bottom, or maybe they need to heal something else first. We can’t always know what it is for them, but we can say NO to those who we see are not ready.

In fact, one of those 3 people came back 6 months later and apologized to me for her lashing out and owned how she was triggered by my success when she felt stuck in the swamp with what appeared to be no way out.

Being in business can often feel like an extreme personal development sport. We come out muddy and bruised, and yet, not long after we finish one competition we are hungry to get back in there and do it again.

And as for me...well #1 on the planet in any category is still fucking awesome. LOL

Becoming a badass in life and business requires you to stand in your power and be super comfy with being unique! Dana Pharant knows ALL about standing out and being unique. Her personal brand of the Inner Dominatrix™ pushes people out of their comfort zone, challenges their preconceived notions and has them stepping into a fierce determination to rock their Bold, Sexy Fun-Filled Lives!

Dana Pharant has worked with clients to transform their lives for 25+ years, been a CEO of a Million dollar company, 2x award-winning speaker, best selling author of 5 books, has earned the title of Master Healer and yes she really was a Dominatrix.