Jeepney Press/Geraldine Limpo

MY NUMBER 1 (FOR THOSE NUMBER 2s)

by Geraldine Limpo

Warning: Please do not read while having a meal.

Among the gadgets at home, the one that impresses me the most is the smart washlet. Albeit located within a small space within our flat, the smart washlet senses movement and opens its lid automatically. (Lifting the lid manually becomes an unnecessary action.) Come to think of it, one never has to touch the smart washlet during use; the remote control that fits most hands commands all its actions. Significantly more hygienic.

Its seat is kept warm even during cold winter nights. How many of us remember holidays overseas during cooler climes and visiting the toilet in the middle of the night only to be jolted out of sleepiness when our buttocks and thighs recoil upon contact with cold seats of urinals? In contrast, the seat of the smart washlet can be programmed to a comfortably warm temperature.

The power deodorizer/air purifier is another amazing feature. Gone are excuses to smoke in the toilet to rid the odor, or lighting a candle (which may be a fire hazard). Combined with using a spray (such as Air Wick) or hinoki oil diffusers that neutralizes odors, the toilet is refreshed more quickly for the next user (potentially life-saving, I joke my family members…)

Fairy tales speak of magic wands; however, the only one I have encountered in my lifetime thus far and am fairly satisfied with is the wand of the smart washlet. The nozzle’s length can be adjusted to one’s preference for forward- and rear-cleaning. So can the water strength and temperature be via the remo-con. What’s more? These preferences can be saved! Furthermore, the wand can sanitize itself. This means one less chore for the homemaker! In addition, studies have shown that jet water coming from (clean) nozzles is kinder to sufferers of hemorrhoids, skin rashes and urinary tract infections.

The dryer function is another indulgence. Not only does this save toilet paper previously used to dry bottoms, activating the dryer supports the 21st century habit of multi-tasking. According to the May 26, 2021 edition of the Huffington Post, 72% of Brits take their handphones to their toilet breaks to seek entertainment, catch up with correspondence, or find a date. Oh wow.

The auto-flush feature is triggered when I conclude my toilet break and finally stand; it reminds me of applause that rewards a job well done.

The smart washlet potentially is a homemaker’s best friend; thanks to a mist of water that is automatically sprayed on the bowl to resist staining, the innovative flushing system using tornado-like jets of water whirling across the interior surfaces which reduce the volume of water required to flush via a regulated flush valve, and the anti-bacterial UV light that signals disinfection taking place. Certainly, weekly manual toilet cleaning (with a brush and cleaning solution) is a healthy habit; nevertheless, this self-cleaning function that is carried out every eight hours by the smart washlet has significantly simplified this otherwise unpleasant chore.

illustration by Dennis Sun

The smart washlet sounds like a dream. However, some question the energy and water supply it requires. According to a study among electric bidets in the US, the most efficient models consume 14 kWh/month (USD 1.85) while the least efficient ones consume about 160 kWh/month (about USD 20), with the average cost ranging between USD 5-10/month. Let’s contrast this cost with the savings proposed by manufacturers of the smart washlet. A Japanese brand advertises models that use a mere gallon of water per flush— this is less than the 3.7 to 7 gallons of water per flush using American-made urinals that do not require electricity. When we take the difference and multiply the figure by 365 days that a year has, we realize significant cost savings in water supply. Secondly, we consider that the reduction in consumption of toilet paper translates to saving the trees (and thus, our environment). Feel free to refer to https://eu.toto.com/en/ washlet/sustainability. Thirdly, there are hygienic considerations. In the era in which we live where viruses abound and medical costs are high, reducing contact with human waste is preferred, isn’t it?

These said, there are minor features that strike me as superfluous. This includes water sounds that, in my opinion, are relevant only in securing privacy in public toilets.

Private toilets have little use for this, unless the water sounds prod certain users to void more completely, and/or when certain users are too embarrassed to hear the sounds that voiding the kidneys and bowels makes.

Scientific studies continue to bring improvements. Sometimes, I wonder how else the smart washlet can evolve.

From a wellness centre in Koh Samui where we enrolled for a weeklong detox programme three years ago, my daughter picked up a new habit: By placing her feet on the stool while sitting on the urinal, in this way mimicking a squat, she empties her bowels more easily and satisfactorily than planting her feet on the ground while on the usual seated position. Could a future washlet design provide this option (i.e.; automatic foot stool)?

A recent buzzword is ASMR, which stands for Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response. Specific auditory or visual stimuli designed to mediate between mind and body are believed to trigger certain responses such as positive feelings and sleepiness. I wonder if there ever will be a model incorporating ASMR content that relaxes users of the smart washlet so they are “in the mood” to void satisfactorily.

And how do we feel about a self-cleaning seat? The Toto website describes a rotating seat that presents each user with a freshly sanitized section.

Truly, man has gone a long way from digging a hole in the ground.

Geraldine Limpo

Jeepney Press