TRAFFIC / Alma Reyes

C O R O N A Battle of the Sexes

We are approaching the halfway point of the second year of the Coronavirus pandemic. Since the emergence of the widespread infection, there has been a lot of chatter about how married couples have been coping with the unbearable situation. The so-called “Corona Divorce” phenomenon began to leak profusely not only abroad, but in Japan as well, where many family and marriage therapists believe appears to boil more intensely than anywhere else. Here is why we can believe it:

Small-sized housing

Typical Japanese homes, whether houses or apartments, are relatively smaller than those in other countries. A regular humble apartment in Tokyo may measure just below 50-60 square meters. Tiny rooms separated from each other by thin walls, usually constructed in wood and mortar, also pose mental or psychological constrictions. Corridors, hallways, or a dead space between rooms (sometimes used for storage) are not regular features of an ordinary Japanese interior layout. The lack of adequate space and needed privacy easily tempts family members to spend more time outdoors than indoors; therefore, husbands come home late, friends meet in restaurants rather than host home parties, or children spend leisure hours in game centers, karaoke, cinemas, or simply roam around the city. Either the lack of interpersonal interaction or too much of it can wound marital and family ties.

Since the recommendation of self-quarantine and teleworking, more people ironically relieve stress by stepping out of their homes. Teleworking parents have to share the limited space at home with their children as well who have to stop school. This inconvenience has disrupted work concentration and upset individual schedules, consequently, arousing arguments within the household.

Defined marriage roles

It has been an apparent perception that Japan, being relatively a male-dominated society, prioritizes the man’s needs above the woman’s. Especially among the older generation, the typical traditional Japanese husband is often expected to be served by the wife, who in turn, prepares and delivers his dinner, sets up the bath, arranges his clothes, and accompanies him in the living room before bedtime. Many Japanese wives have voiced out complaints about the long hours of “attention” they would have to render their husbands who have begun working at home because of the pandemic. In some cases when the husband is delegated certain housework, this also adds unwanted burden to his daily routine. He may interrupt the wife’s work incessantly with questions, such as “Where is the vacuum cleaner? Is today garbage day? How do you use the washing machine?” or the even more seemingly unwelcoming remarks, like “Okay, I have cleaned the bathroom,” or “I have folded the clothes,” as though each chore requires a recognition report. Statistics have shown that based on rigidly defined sexual roles, Japanese couples share home duties less willingly than foreign couples, and this tendency has become a source of grave dispute in Japanese marriages especially since the epidemic.

Impaired marital bond after having children

There are certain visible patterns in the Japanese domestic scene after the children are born, such as couples sleeping in separate bedrooms or ceasing intimate relations. Sharing conversations while eating diminishes. Leading separate lives outside of the home (example: husband playing golf and wife holidaying with friends) become increasingly pervasive. While at home, some husbands tend to feel some distracted tension watching their wives attend to the children, rather than being able to free their minds of these little reminders of home and family duties while in the office or at a café. At the same time, many Japanese wives savor their husband’s and children’s absence during the day to be able to gain some personal freedom. Parents spending more hours together at home find themselves more entrapped in the fading existence of “man and woman” as the father and mother “image” inadvertently steals the spotlight for longer hours.

With no other effective solution at hand, it should be no surprise to witness cafés being flooded more surgently with workers and students. Communication by social media, such as LINE, Messenger, Instagram, and others, has also become more prevalent as couples resort to “silent” interaction with other people for privacy. And, finally, when all verbal communication and emotional connection is ultimately crippled, there is the saving grace of Netflix, Amazon Prime, Hulu, and YouTube movies and dramas that restore the couple's deprived peace of mind. We can only hope that the spark in marital relationships resurfaces in the right direction after this merciless crisis leaves us for good.

Alma Reyes

Jepney Press