Civilized Living
Tom Lee
Neighbors as sales prospects;
Attorney and Counselor at Law
Real Property Land Use Business Law Wills and Trusts Experienced. Local. Trusted.
Terms of endearment; What about shaking hands? By Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin
DEAR MISS MANNERS: We moved into a new neighborhood and have quickly grown to like our next-door neighbors. My husband has conversed with the wife on many occasions, and their conversations have been nothing but lovely. However, in a recent discussion of Valentine’s Day, she was strongly hinting to my husband that he should buy me a gift from her catalogue. We are firmly opposed to multilevel marketing companies as a whole, but we really value the budding friendship. How can we gently, but permanently, let her know we are not interested while continuing to grow our friendship?
rtleelaw.attorney
GENTLE READER: By ignoring her hint. That may be the end of it. But should this develop — say, with invitations to sales parties — Miss
Manners is afraid that you will have to say, “We’re really not interested, but we would love to see you just socially.” DEAR MISS MANNERS: For most of my life, my mother has had a special endearment that she uses just for me. Her new beau has taken to calling me by this same endearment, and I would prefer that he not. Aside from a harsh-sounding, “Please don’t call me that!” how can I politely tell him that I would prefer he use my first name instead? GENTLE READER: There is no cause to be harsh: Having heard you addressed this way, he naturally thought it was your accepted nickname. He hasn’t asked you to call him Daddy, has he?
All that is needed is, “Oh, that’s just Mother’s pet name for me. Everyone else calls me Daisy.” DEAR MISS MANNERS: We are empty-nesters, and have been invited to many weddings over the past few years — usually ones where we are friends with the parents of the bride or groom, rather than with the couples themselves. When we got married, over 40 years ago, I vividly remember making sure we went from table to table to welcome our guests and have a brief conversation. I have noticed, in recent years, that I never even talk to the bride and groom; they do not make the rounds or have an oldschool receiving line. I certainly get that it is their special day, and I do not feel insulted or want to intrude. I have tried to be proactive and go up to the couples, but they hardly know us and it can be awkward if we even make it to them. I cont page 6
Columbia River Reader / January 15, 2022 / 5
