It’s A Dog’s Life

It’s only a name, but what’s in a name has set Teddy’s canine musing process into overdrive this month and he delivers his dogma with all the usual wit and common sense that only Her Indoors, Helen Stockton, is able to translate and relay to the rest of us

May is one of those months, like its predecessor April and its close companion June, where the titles are used as female names. Now I’m just a dog of limited understanding, but why does April get a look in as an appellation, but not March or February? And the jury is out as to whether you have to be born in the month to take its name as your own. ‘Him Indoors’ mother arrived in June and is named after it, but, equally, ‘Her Indoors’ has a friend called May who was actually born in November. Perhaps it was an aspirational naming.

The same fickleness is demonstrated in the use of plant names. Why do we get a Daisy but not a Dandelion, Marigold but not Geranium, and Olive but not a Coxes Orange Pippin?

Naming is a far more fluid process these days – basically if parents want to call their child something, they can, although some ridiculous choices have been vetoed for the good of the child. That rules out Nutella, Cyanide and Prince William then. Us dogs are not subject to the same safeguards, however, and there is a Border Terrier on Twitter called Scurvy. Apparently, his junior family members were heavily into all things pirate related at the time.

‘Her Indoors’ has always had a soft spot for dogs in the same household having thematically linked names. I blame two Border Terriers in our village, Branston and Pickle, for sowing that idea. We also know of another two called Ronnie and Reg which seems a bit of a slur on their collective characters. As a rehomed Border Terrier, I came with my own name, thank you very much, but Teddy led to Bear and ‘Her Indoors’ loves calling our names in quick succession.

My predecessor, the Boss, had a

fine name, Rolo. Some people tried giving it extra gravitas by pronouncing it ‘Rol – O’, as in the Viking ruler, but the correct pronunciation was ‘Roll-O’ as in the sweet. Far more sensible for a dog of eclectic culinary tastes. The most popular names for Border Terriers, according to the Twitter group BT Posse, are Teddy – a fine Some ridiculous choice – Alfie, Baxter and Monty, whilst Ruby, Poppy, choices have been Molly and Tilly are popular vetoed for the choices for lady-furs. There good of the child are also a plethora of double barrel names such as ‘Beardrop-it!’, ‘Bonnie-be-nice’ and ‘Dougie-no!’ Anyway, I don’t know why they bother naming us as they hardly ever use them properly. I suffer the indignities of Teddy Beddy or worse, Teddily beddily, and Bear gets Bearsy Bottomly Boo! We treat them all with the same contempt and only respond if there is something in it for us. After all, it’s only a name! l