PETS
It’s only a name, but what’s in a name has set Teddy’s canine musing process into overdrive this month and he delivers his dogma with all the usual wit and common sense that only Her Indoors, Helen Stockton, is able to translate and relay to the rest of us
M
ay is one of those months, like its predecessor April and its close companion June, where the titles are used as female names. Now I’m just a dog of limited understanding, but why does April get a look in as an appellation, but not March or February? And the jury is out as to whether you have to be born in the month to take its name as your own. ‘Him Indoors’ mother arrived in June and is named after it, but, equally, ‘Her Indoors’ has a friend called May who was actually born in November. Perhaps it was an aspirational naming. The same fickleness is demonstrated in the use of plant names. Why do we get a Daisy but not a Dandelion, Marigold but not Geranium, and Olive but not a Coxes Orange Pippin? Naming is a far more fluid process these days – basically if parents want to call their child something, they can, although some ridiculous choices have
fine name, Rolo. Some people tried been vetoed for the good of the child. giving it extra gravitas by pronouncing That rules out Nutella, Cyanide and it ‘Rol – O’, as in the Viking ruler, but Prince William then. Us dogs are not subject to the same safeguards, however, the correct pronunciation was ‘Roll-O’ and there is a Border Terrier on Twitter as in the sweet. Far more sensible for a dog of eclectic culinary tastes. The called Scurvy. Apparently, his junior most popular names for Border Terriers, family members were heavily into all according to the Twitter group BT things pirate related at the time. Posse, are Teddy – a fine ‘Her Indoors’ has choice – Alfie, Baxter and always had a soft spot Some ridiculous Monty, whilst Ruby, Poppy, for dogs in the same choices have been Molly and Tilly are popular household having choices for lady-furs. There thematically linked names. vetoed for the are also a plethora of double I blame two Border good of the child barrel names such as ‘BearTerriers in our village, drop-it!’, ‘Bonnie-be-nice’ Branston and Pickle, and ‘Dougie-no!’ for sowing that idea. We also know of Anyway, I don’t know why they another two called Ronnie and Reg bother naming us as they hardly ever use which seems a bit of a slur on their them properly. I suffer the indignities of collective characters. As a rehomed Teddy Beddy or worse, Teddily beddily, Border Terrier, I came with my own and Bear gets Bearsy Bottomly Boo! We name, thank you very much, but Teddy treat them all with the same contempt led to Bear and ‘Her Indoors’ loves and only respond if there is something in calling our names in quick succession. it for us. After all, it’s only a name! l My predecessor, the Boss, had a
150 SUSSEX LIVING | May 2022
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