MidLife Success Formula by Suzanne Beveridge

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Each of us reaches a crossroads at some time in our life. A time when we choose to keep going the way we’ve always gone or take the intuitive path to our best life. For many, that time is called mid-life. Perhaps you hear a gentle whisper. Or maybe a loud voice. Even a scream. Whatever you hear, you have come to a time in your life when you are tired of life happening to you, constantly adapting to make your life work the best you can. At some point in these mid-life years, most of us begin to wonder what it is we are meant to do in this world. Why are we here after all? Why were we born? What is our real worth? Do others find me worthy... or worthless? How come we struggle so much? You’re in a time of transition when much of what has been is in a state of flux. Change is a constant throughout life. Often we forget that. For many, personal change is most evident in the years from 40 onwards. Change manifests in your body, mind and spirit center. Your emotions or feelings may consume you. Each of the core emotions of fear, sadness, anger, and joy show up either to keep you safe and - thank goodness also to drive you forward. At the same time as personal change is strong, so is change escalating around you. Your work may become more responsible, more stressful. Relationships change and external expectations of you shift along with your own self-expectation. You may feel invisible amid younger colleagues at work. Your kids are growing up, traversing teenage years into adulthood. Your parents are aging and dying. Friends come and go in various ways. Your life partnership may falter or grow. For many, life is happening to you and seems out of your control. Just when you most want to grasp for freedom, more connection with others, plan to leave a legacy, your energy plummets. All you can do is survive. You know there is something more inside of you, something you are meant to contribute to our world. To do that, no longer will you settle for less. No longer will you be at the effect of life, allowing it to be created for you, happening to you. What you don’t want is a mid-life crisis. You want a mid-life start-up.

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You want to make a better world. You want to be at the cause of life, creating your best life that happens because you initiated change. You want life to happen because of you. For you to succeed in your mid-life start-up, you first have to change yourself.

That is, to get on the path where you follow your intuition and bring your wisdom into being in the world, you have to jump the fence. Jump the fence from where you are now: bogged down in what is happening around you and to you, sometimes over the fence on a whim and a prayer, often at best straddling the fence wondering which way to go.

That’s what this book is about. It’s going to show you the MidLife Success Formula. A 4-part formula that tells you what you need more of and what you need less of so that you get over the fence and on the intuitive path to your best life. My name is Suzanne Beveridge, and I’ve spent the last three years guiding mid-life career professionals and solo-entrepreneurs on how to succeed in life doing work they love. I’ve worked with people all over the globe to help them find what they are meant to do in our world and the unique gifts they have to make their vision happen. I’ve helped them leave behind what holds them back from following their path, to believe and trust in their intuition. I’ve held their hands and given them a leg up as they’ve jumped the fence and taken their first steps on the path to their best lives. And I’ve helped clients in many industries, professions, corporations and non-profits, coaches, healers and trainers. They are all mid-lifers. All have a passion to make a better world both for themselves and others. Just like you! If you feel like this is your time to stop going the way you’ve always gone, then this is your chance to jump the fence...and stay there.

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WHY A FORMULA FOR MID-LIFE SUCCESS? Here’s a question for you: Why would you set out on a life-long journey without the supplies you need to reach your destination? I’ve got to tell you, it is a lot more fun and fulfilling when you start off with the reserves you’ll need to increase your chances of enjoying the journey and getting where you want to be. When that happens, you take responsibility to shift your mindset: • • • • •

You are clear on your vision, and you go after it with courage, confidence and enthusiasm. You put your gifts in service to live your vision and master skills you need to make it happen. You are disciplined and focused to create a better world and your best life. You attract business and clients that reward you with money in proportion to the value of your contribution. Your attitude to time shifts so that you get to do what you want.

To me, the heart and soul of the MidLife Success Formula is boldly stepping up to take responsibility for who you are, what you are doing and how you are doing it to live your best life. And when you take responsibility to show up as your best self, you get to make a better world. YOU ARE AN AGENT OF CHANGE For you to make a better world, you have to be willing to start with yourself. You have to be willing to go from a world where life happens to you to a world where you make life happen. It requires a makeover of your mid-life mindset, a profoundly transformational way of thinking that goes far beyond your work. You, and how you see yourself in the world, will change. You will show up more powerfully in the world, as someone who actively creates major transformation in the world.

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And you won’t be afraid to offer your best work to the world and be well compensated for it. Because when you get paid according to the value you put into the world, it means you can invest in yourself and your work to do more to make the world better in your unique way. You will be a mid-life start-up. “Change is the essence of life. Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become.” - Reinhold Niebuhr Think about it. When you’ve got mid-life wisdom to share to make the world better - through your work, your art, your writing, your research, your healing, your teaching, your coaching - you want to make sure you’ve got a good chance to succeed. But if you don’t know what it is that you need to have and do to increase your chances of success, well, then...you’re kind of screwed.

Without the formula, you’ll wonder just what are the mid-life success secrets noone ever thought to whisper to me. Without the formula for success - and the exact balance of each essential part of the formula - you won’t navigate the fastpaced world of personal change that’s a necessary part of the change you want to make in the world.

Without the formula, nobody else will get to understand, experience, or benefit from your wisdom. Without the formula, you’ll struggle to jump the fence to get on the path to your best life. Let’s not go there. Too depressing. Instead: let’s find the formula. This tiny book will teach you the mid-life success secrets. The secrets that are the four parts of the formula that, when you apply it, increases your chances of navigating midlife change to live your best life. Now then. Shall we?

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THE FORMULA REVEALED

C = R < (V x D x FS) Just so you know: I didn't invent the formula. David Gleicher introduced it in the 1960s. Kathie Dannermiller refined it in the 1980s.

CHANGE. Will you or won’t you? Shift or drift? Jump the fence, straddle it, or stay where you are? Change is to make or become different. Transform is to change completely. Transition is a movement, passage, a change from one position to another. Sounds a lot like midlife. In your mid-life transition, how likely is it you will change - transform - from a life that happens to you to a life that happens because of you? RESISTANCE. To change. You need less of this.

“Change is never painful. Only the resistance to change is painful.” - Buddha

Resistance of course is about fear of what you risk losing if you change. To make change happen you have to let go of control. Helpful hint: Control is an illusion. We might think we control our world but only in terms of how we perceive it. Coaching questions: What are you afraid would happen if you change? What would you risk losing if you change? When resistance is low, you are more prepared to let go of the past and the way things are and step into the unknown. If you are weighed down deep into the muck and puddles in a to you world on your side of the fence, resistance is high. If you don’t own your R, you can stay stuck in the muck forever. Let’s move on. Because (V x D x FS) is the helping hand that will shove you past resistance and up over the fence. VISION. The big one. The more vision you have, the more likely you will make the change.

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“Don’t underestimate the power of your vision to change the world.” - Leroy Hood

When you have a clear picture of the best life you are creating, you can be inspired and motivated by the vision alone. You’ll feel the fear, face it and step through resistance. You’re prepared to risk letting go of some - even all - of the ways of your familiar life up until now and step into a new way of being and doing in life. What’s essential is that your vision comes from your heart, it’s real and you can see it, feel it, hear it, touch it in your imagination. It’s a vision that makes you inspired and unstoppable. For mid-lifers, I often find at the core of their vision are deep desires for freedom, connection with others, leaving a legacy and energy to live their dreams. Truth is, it’s often tough to get clear on your vision when you live in a to you world. You’ll have to trust me here. Once you’ve jumped the fence, your intuition will kick in and your version of an inspired and unstoppable vision will get clearer step after step after step. Helpful tip: Don’t think your vision needs to be big and grandiose. Start small, really small. When you do that you’ll find your First Steps easier and faster! DISSATISFACTION. With the way life is now. The status quo if you like. You’ve got to feel the pain. And feel it big. Someone once said: Dissatisfied people change the world.

The pain of your dissatisfaction is the major reason you change. You can no longer tolerate the way things are. You see a better way and it’s now so painful not to live your vision. To really overcome resistance to change, your vision will be so clear it will compel you to do something about the pain of your dissatisfaction. V x D is your motivation to change. Vision is key. That’s why when I coach you, my focus is on helping you see and breakthrough what keeps you stuck, guiding you to see your clear and compelling vision of a better way, and shifting your energy so you can get up and over the fence. Often people put up with the way things are, unable or unwilling to shift out of victim mindsets. They may deny their dissatisfaction, living with a mindset of conflict towards themselves, or towards the people and circumstances that put them there. Or both. They avoid facing their dissatisfaction either through keeping busy acquiring more and more to distract them from their pain (possessions, titles, recognition) or numbing themselves with alcohol, drugs, excessive behaviors. Copyright 2015 Potencium Ltd, Suzanne Beveridge

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Mid-life is often when you start to break down the barriers you have in place that stop you from facing the reality of your dissatisfaction. For some it happens around 40, for some the layers of insulation keep them going to much later in life - even closer to 60. FIRST STEPS. How willing are you to take the first steps to change?

“Change starts when someone sees the next step.” - William Drayton

Willingness: agree-able-ness. You possess the agreement to do it. You’ve got to be willing. But to be willing, you’ve got to do the work to find your FS. So far we have talked about Vision x Dissatisfaction as the motivation for change. V x D gives you the why. The energy, the lift, to jump the fence and take the path to your best life. The what and how comes from FS, the first steps you will take to effect change. The first step is to jump the fence and get on the intuitive path to your best life. Many focus on FS, the what and how but often V and D are missing. There’s not enough clarity and purpose in the vision. Or not enough facing up to their dissatisfaction with the status quo. Truth is, if there’s enough willingness to change, even if you think you don’t know how, your intuition will show you how to take the first step. You simply have to be willing to take the first step..to jump the fence! And having an expert guide and coach helps! Of course, you have to identify your FS and agree to do it. And to do that, you need your V. If FS is zero, or if V or D are zero, you won’t be able to rise above the big R. Remember:

C = R < (V x D x R) Willingness is what it all comes down to. That’s different from knowing how to change or even wanting to change. To will something is empowering because you make an agreement with yourself to do what you say you will do. When you are your most willing, you will take action.

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This is when you really start to do the work. Because the chatterbox in your head - your ego - is going to want to maintain the status quo, to keep you safe and secure in the life you’ve known up until now. Ego is strong and doesn’t want to let go of control. Ego chatters away with unrelenting demands of: I can’t. I don’t know. What if I fail? What if they don’t like me? What if they find out? What if I succeed? Ego is not bad or good. It simply is.

ARE YOU WILLING TO CHANGE? Are you really willing to change? Are you willing to find the first steps you need to take, commit to taking them and take them...for real? Are you willing to take responsibility - 100 percent - for the change you want to see in the world? If you’ve answered yes to the questions above - even if you’re only willing to consider yes as the answer right now - then it’s time for you to look at how what you think is shaping your reality. HOW LIKELY ARE YOU TO NAVIGATE MIDLIFE CHANGE TO LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE Think of a change that you want to happen in your life. 1. Scale your formula What’s your VISION for your life once the change is in effect? ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ How clear and compelling is your V? From 1 a silted up river... to 10 oh, so crystal clear I see the pebbles on the river bed! Write your number here: _____

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What is your DISSATISFACTION about life as you know it now? ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ How painful is your D? From 1 hardly a pinprick... to 10 a razor-sharp knife slicing your hand! Write your number here: _____ Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the FIRST STEP you are agreeing to take? ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ How willing are you to take your FS? From 1 no way at all!... to 10 bring it on, baby! Write your number here: _____ Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s your RESISTANCE: what is it you fear losing if you take your FS? ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

How strong is your R? From 1 weak as dishwater... to 10 intoxicating! Write your number here: _____ 2. Do the math Is your R less than your (V x D X FS)? How likely are you to navigate change to live your best life? C = R < (V x D x R) Insert your numbers here: Is Your R__ < Your (V__ x D__ x FS__)?

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MY MIDLIFE CHANGE STORY CHANGE. By the time I was on the cusp of my mid-life years, I was desperate for change. Desperate to truly enjoy what I was doing to make a living. Conventional wisdom hailed my success. To me it didn’t feel like success. I was looking for something different. I knew the change I wanted had a lot to do with freedom, my own business. RESISTANCE. Turns out my resistance to change was VERY HIGH. The chatterbox in my head pounded away in my head with unrelenting demands like: I can’t go out out on my own. I don’t know how to run a freelance consulting business. What if I fail? There’ll be no money, I’ll have to give up my Italian country home and return to corporate life with my tail between my legs. (And I listened! But as it turns out, that was all part of the journey I had to take.) What if they don’t like me and I can’t get enough clients? Then I’ll have failed and will have to go back to corporate life. (Again, I listened! I went back.) What if they find out I’m not cut out for freelance consulting, that all I want to do is to be part of a team inside a ‘safe’ corporate world? What if I succeed? Then my business will be so big I won’t have time for my Italian paradise. How strong was my R?...7-8, often 10! VISION. What I didn’t have. I used to sit around wondering how on earth someone as ‘smart’ as I professed to be, who had achieved amazing things in her corporate career, couldn’t work out what it was she was meant to do in life. For the first time, I had the where-with-all to make it happen. I simply could not see what it looked like. How clear and compelling was my V? ...0! DISSATISFACTION. Oh, I was dissatisfied all right. I’d jumped the fence and flown to Italy. Found my paradise. But I was scared and confused. Clients wanted my corporate pedigree not so much my brilliance. So I jumped back into corporate life. And so dissatisfaction began again in a whole other way. The pain of my dissatisfaction showed up physically with unexplained chronic bronchitis. How painful was my D?...10! FIRST STEPS. Now here’s the thing... I wanted to take my first step away from the life that was happening to me. I wanted to jump the fence to where life happened because of me. But I couldn’t find my first step because I had no vision for what my life could be. My resistance kept me ‘safe’ but stuck, thinking I’m not good enough for more. And I kept telling myself that. Which meant I wasn’t willing to take responsibility for my life. What I desperately needed was to free myself of all the thoughts that were keeping me victim and in conflict with my corporate career and all the thoughts that kept me settling for good enough. How willing was I to take my FS?....often 0, sometimes as high as 5 or 6.

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WHAT WE’RE REALLY TALKING ABOUT

“Resistance is thought transformed into feeling. Change the thought that created the resistance, and there is no more resistance.” - Robert Conklin

You see when you do the math of my mid-life change formula, there was no way I was ever going to get my (V x D x FS) to be greater than my R. Because I had no V. My V multiplier was ZERO. V x D x FS could only be ZERO. I had no V because I listened to the chatterbox that kept me resisting. Her unrelenting demands became my thoughts. They kept me safe while unfulfilled. Her unrelenting demands filled up my head and kept the one thought that would make me take action hidden. That one thought: take responsibility for your best life. As soon as I did that, I started to work with what I had. I stopped struggling and started co-operating. I saw my unique gifts and talents that I had brought to my work for years and years. I started to see a vision of my best life. A vision not of 20 years from now. No, a vision a few months from now. A vision that becomes clearer with every step I take. First I acknowledged my gifts of intuitive listening and coaching to bring out the best in my colleagues and peers. I owned those gifts and the dissatisfaction of not putting them in service in a bigger way. I was ready to jump the fence beyond the ‘safe’ confines of a corporation to my best life in my own coaching business. My vision of a few months hence turned into a vision of a year from now. Then three years from now. Even five years. Today I have a vision of my 110-year-old self still coaching! That only happened because I took responsibility to make life happen. You can’t find your vision in a world where you think and believe life is happening to you. It’s when you shift the way you think and take responsibility to create your best life that happens because of you. I want you to navigate mid-life change easier than I did. I want to take your hand and give you a leg up so you jump the fence to your best life? Are you willing?

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Here’s how to get started.

>>> MIDLIFE MINDSET MAKEOVER <<< Step 1 of my coaching paths for mid-life success. When we partner for your MidLife Mindset Makeover: I help you face your Resistance, own your Dissatisfaction, and start to get clear on your Vision. You’ll find your First Steps and be willing to take them. You’ll find out in what ways your thinking is keeping you stuck where life happens to you. You’ll find out how to shift your thinking so that you take responsibility to jump the fence where life happens because of you. You’ll find out how to surrender fear-based thinking and replace it with trust-based thinking. You’ll find out how to think so that your intuition puts up guideposts along your path to allow wisdom to flow through you to shape what happens in the world.

You’ll find out that freedom, fun, joy and creativity ignite when you are 100 percent present and connected as one with every moment in life. Join me! Get started on your M idL ife M indset M akeover . “Be the change that you wish to see in the world.” - Mahatma Gandhi

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About your C oac h Suzanne Beveridge left her corporate career to help others succeed in life doing work they love. Her clients are mid-lifers - women and men in their 40's and 50's who say it’s ‘now or never’ who want to make our world a better place in their own unique way. She connects them to their heart's desire and guides them to take their intuitive path to the success they are meant to have. Which really means they put their best selves forward to live their best lives.

Copyright Except for personal use, no part of this publication may be reproduced or distributed, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, or otherwise, without prior written permission from the publisher. If you enjoy the information in this program, we would like to encourage you to show your support by sharing your testimonial with us, sharing the MIDLIFE WISDOM website with your friends and colleagues, subscribing to the blog, and supporting our continued work by considering our other programs and products. PUBLISHED BY: MIDLIFE WISDOM Suzanne Beveridge Potencium Ltd VAT: CY10302431Y SuzanneBeveridge.com