Love Me My Way

Love Me My Way Loving your partner in their language By: Obsession

What is a love language? Love language is how a person expresses and receives love. Understanding and communicating your partner’s love language plays a massive role in making you both feel valued in your relationship. Some people have no problem simply saying I love you to their person, while others, on the other hand, struggle with verbalizing their feelings, so they make an effort to show their love instead. This applies to parenting as well, but that’s a whole other post. First things first, to communicate effectively in your relationship, you must understand your partner’s love language and your own. How do you like to be loved? What makes you feel acknowledged and appreciated? According to Gary Chapman, a relationship counselor and author of the best-seller “The 5 Love Languages”, it’s scarce that both individuals share the same language in a relationship. I’ve learned that some people, such as myself, have more than one love language.

Per Mr. Chapman, there are five love languages: physical touch, receiving gifts, words of affirmation, quality time, and acts of service. Here’s a breakdown of the languages.

Physical touch- This is for the huggers, the kissers, the hand-holders, the cuddlers, the ones that like random slaps on their bums or unexpected strokes of their cheeks and hair. Affection means everything to them. Neglecting this group will cause them emotional turmoil.

Receiving gifts- It’s simple; gifts make this group extremely happy. Word of advice, it would be a mistake to only present them with gifts on special occasions like their birthday or Christmas, these people love ‘Just because I love you’ gifts; gifts that are random and unexpected. Words of affirmation- “You’re beautiful,” “You’re so good at this!”, “You’re amazing,” “You’re a genius!”, “You make me a better person,” “You’re so handsome” is all this group of people needs to make them feel important and loved. Words hold much weight with these individuals, so if anything negative or less than pleasant needs to be said, make sure the delivery isn’t harsh, aggressive, or offensive.

Quality time- It’s all about time, attention, and simply being together with these individuals. It could be something as simple as Netflix and chill or a midday stroll in downtown Chicago; these people often need to be in your presence. A long-distance relationship is a big no-no for this group because they have a strong desire to be up close and personal with their partner.

Acts of service- The worst thing you can do to this group of individuals is leave them to do everything themselves. These people love to work as a team with their partners and to receive help without asking. For example, your partner will love you to the moon and back if they never have to ask you to take out the trash, or cook dinner some nights, or even get the kids ready for bed. They appreciate when their partner tackles tasks and jobs without reminders, hints, etc.

It boils down to relationships having a greater chance of longevity when you know and respect your partner’s love language.

Here is the link to Gary Chapman’s “The 5 Love Languages”

https://www.amazon.com/Five-Love-LanguagesHeartfelt-Commitment/dp/8186775099/