8 minute read
Reviews
Holey Trinity
Pipedream
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Mia More
Part of Pipedream’s new and intriguing 3Some range, the Holey Trinity is a triple tongue vibrator. The central shaft is for vaginal insertion and boasts 7 levels and 3 speeds. The two smaller tongues are for clitoral and anal stimulation; these oscillate in 10 different sequences and buzz with the vibrations emanating from the shaft. The result is oral sex reimagined as battery-powered rotation patterns, presented as an extremely unusual item.
The Trinity’s original appearance extends to the ABS plastic handle at its base, which means you can angle the toy to the areas you most want it – not just externally but internally too. This helps position the toy Goldilocks right. And herein lies the rub – or not. Because, if the Trinity doesn’t suit your anatomy you won’t get as much out of it as its designers intended (think a tickle on the perineum rather than its next-door err… backdoor). With this in mind, we suspect if you enjoy a Rabbit you’ll be likely to favour this baby.
Happily, if the fit’s not quite right, the two smaller, rotating tongues of the Trinity are flexible enough to bend out of the way so you can – wait for it – enjoy the largest tongue as a dildo (yes, these might just be the best words ever written!). And because the main vibrational motor is directed at the shaft, it works well for clit stim fun too.
Whether your preferred sensation is analingus, cunnilingus or both at the same time, this 3Some product improves exponentially with the addition of lube. In fact, we’d go so far as to say that as far as the Trinity’s concerned, lube is essential: just think of it as your fourth partner… along with tongues 1,2 and 3!
The slogan for Pipedream’s 3Some collection is, ‘myself and us’. So, if you want triple the fun with none of the emotional fallout, we recommend the wholly unwholesome, irresistibly unholy, Holey Trinity.
Thruster 4 in 1 Couples Pump Kit
SHOTS
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Part of Shots’ Pumped collection, Thruster 4 in 1 Couples Pump Kit is a great example of this innovation and quality. The Thruster is an all-in-one, waterproof couple’s toy powered by a 11000rpm motor. It has something for everyone: clitoral and breast pump attachments, a thrusting dildo, and even a penis pump extension. Just select an option and twist and click your chosen accessory onto the base unit. For increased sensitivity, simply pump to plump!
The cost of all these toys combined should be incentive enough to splurge on the Thruster or its sister Twister version, which features a rotating dildo. Both suction toys are available in pink or purple phthalate-free and body safe, come, and come with a multitude of fun features.
The clitoral cup is the smallest attachment, which measures 4.7cm, shorter than a lipstick standing on its end, and spans 6.7cm across, making it wider than a soda can. The breast cup has a height of 5.7cm and an inner diameter of 9.1cm, enabling a good purchase on the nipple and surrounding area. The penis tube has an internal diameter of 5.5cm and an insertable length of 15cm/ 5.9”.
If you’re a girth queen you might find the Thruster’s 3.3cm circumference dildo attachment wanting in thickness, but the vibrations and sublime thrusting sensation should more than make up for it – after all, not every sex toy offers simultaneous sucking and thrusting. Similarly, if you’re a big guy, the penis tube won’t be for you, but maybe a bit of nipple stimulation with the breast cup would be instead.
Scroll through the 7 vibration settings by holding down the On-Off button. For suction options, press + button to start the suction or change the 4 modes; press the - button to release the suction. The base is USB rechargeable with the battery giving you 120 minutes fun time. It’s also waterproof.
Men Heat Vibration
Satisfyer
Peter
Satisfyer’s Men Heat Vibration is a male masturbator for the tip of the penis. At first glance its packaging is the epitome of stereotypical masculinity: a stylish black box stamped with a quote from Italian porn star Rocco Siffredi claiming, “Like a blowjob – just better!”
Inside, the ABS plastic and silicone masturbator of the MHV is an equally sleek design, with four buttons including on/off for function and vibration control, +/- for speed, and of course a control for the temperature. The MHV features 3 different temperatures, heating up to around 40 degrees – that’s a little above body temperature – within five minutes. As there’s no light behind the controls you can’t see them in the dark. Instead, you have to rely on the red from the heat button to shed some light on the others. Being waterproof, the MHV is easy to clean, which is just as well as it’s closed at one end. It’s best to air-dry the toy, as like all silicone it can get fluffy when dried with a towel.
Since the entrance of the MHV doesn’t resemble a vulva like many strokers do, it appeals across the sexualities.
If you like the MHV you’ll love its unbeatable long warranty. You’ll also love that it has two motors (two!) and is designed for use with flaccid or erect penises, meaning it can be used by a partner for foreplay or as solo warm-up. Additionally, the MHV is a smart way to jumpstart overtired partners, and to help with erectile issues. Heat and vibes… what’s not to like? Especially as you can prop the MHV between your legs to tickle your balls at the same time!
In terms of the MHV being better than a blowjob however, we beg to differ: it’s just different. For a start you’ll need lashings of lube. With this in mind, for an unbeatable sensation, we recommend pairing the masturbator with Satisfyer’s Men Warming lube. We’re big fans of Satisfyer’s upbeat Vibes collection, a rainbow cornucopia of vibrators which run the gamut from the lilac Charming Smile through the burgundy Petting Hippo, right to the bright red, petal-tipped Power Flower – a firm favourite at Synergy Towers. Rated just as high as its red stablemate is Yummy Sunshine, a yellow, gorgeously bright G-Spot vibrator, which is as physically enjoyable as it is visually engaging; that is to say – irresistible!
Solid for its size but lightweight, with its looped handle the Sunshine is ideal for users with grip issues. Equally accessible are its three soft push-button Up, On/Off, Down controls which are highly intuitive, even in the throes of passion. Featuring twelve settings, 6 consistent modes and 6 ‘heavenly’ pulsating rhythms, since the Sunshine’s vibrations start nice and low it’s also on the right wavelength for people who dislike pinpoint stimulation or find wands waaay too much. At the opposite end of the spectrum, the Sunshine’s two motors mean you can ramp the power up to a satisfying level.
Made of firm yet soft silicone, the bulb at the tip of the Sunshine is flexible enough to be used for gentle clitoral use. For those of us who enjoy a bit of texture with their titillation, the length features ripples along the top side for internal stimulation, with the largest ridge towards the base for the clitoris. Being of average girth and length (6” insertable), thanks to the Sunshine’s fluid shape it’s also a great toy to use as a G-Spot dildo without vibrations.
Along with the rest of the range, the Sunshine is excellent quality for its extremely reasonable price (approx. AUD$85). Indeed, you’d be hard-pressed to find another line of vibrators in body safe silicone with the same affordability.
Overall, the Yummy Sunshine vibrator is a veritable ray of er, sunshine; you’d have to be bananas not to be uplifted by the very sight of it. And the peel? – I mean, feel – of it in action? Well, now we’re talking!
Yummy Sunshine
Satisfyer
Mia More
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