Synthesis Weekly March 25-31, 2013 by Synthesis

pg. 16

Ghouls Gone Wild

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

s nthesis

INSIDE THIS WEEK'S ISSUE

Nolan Ford nolan@synthesis.net

Subbin' IMMACULATE INFECTION

COMICAL RUMINATIONS

PUFF, PUFF, PASS LEGISLATION Are we really still having this debate? Mark Herrera takes on the Synthesis cover story this week and breaks down all the reasons why it's high time we mellowed out our current attitudes towards medicinal marijuana. Wouldn't it be fantastic if legalization got our nation out of the terrible debt it's in? Did we just blow your mind? Read on.

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MANIC MONDAYS Speaking of bowls, the Dust Bowl Kids are a blossoming Internet sketch comedy sensation co-founded by Chicoalum-gone-LA-transplant, Kiel Kennedy. The comedy is fairly bizarre, but a real treat to tune into each Monday. Check out our interview with the group, and if it feels up your alley give it a whirl at youtube.com!dustbowlkids.

OFF MY LAWN!

HOWL

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syn.the.sis KNIGHT OF WANDS An important/nerdy distinction needs to be made here ... Originally, Synthesis intended to publish a recurring sci-fi series for the next month. Instead, we're launching the first in a four-part fantasy series. It turned out to be a blessing in disguise because the combined efforts of author, Justin Ferrin, and illustrator, Nik Burman, have yielded what looks to be a major creative success. Get hooked.

The composition or combination of parts or elements so as to form a whole b: the production of a substance by the union

of chemical

elements , groups, or simpler compounds or by the degradation of a complex compound c : the combining of often diverse conceptions into a coherent whole ; also : the complex so formed

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Hey gang, remember me? I'm sitting in for Sara Calvosa this week while she's on vacation, which is great because that means I get to share with you all the weird and wonderful things I've been thinking about lately. Over the last few weeks, in addition to editing the paper, I've been doing some substitute teaching to help mold the minds of future generations. Mostly I've been working with elementary-level kids, who I've discovered are big-time tattle tales. I grew up with two brothers and a policy administered by my parents called "squealers get double:' If you rat out your sib, then you receive their punishment times two. Nobody ever really got punished for this, but I think the threat alone reduced the frequency ofbro-trayal. It also might explain why we along so well today, and why I have such innate disgust for tattling. The story of my first-grade sub experience begins with two girls fighting in class. "Mr. Ford, she said I was stupid!" or something along those lines. As the feud escalated, I invited the more persistent tattler to write a letter that I would personally deliver to the principal (psyche). She began scribbling away, but soon realized she didn't know how to spell any of the words required to relate the wrongdoings of her rival. What unfolded next was the best part. She moved across the room toward her nemesis, asked how to spell her name, and proceeded to get assistance composing the rest of her testimony. Naturally, the two became great friends during the whole episode and found a new victim to tease and exclude from their little alliance. Perhaps tattling brings people together after all. .. Another thing that's been on my mind lately is music (surprise). Although I've successfully curbed my obsession quite a bit over the years, the group I still identify as my favorite band, Tera Melos, is releasing their new album, X'ed Out, next month. The recording has been getting major press and their spring tour is selling out all over the nation. Bravo, dudes. It's also come to my attention that my newest favorite SF songwriter and his band, Sonny & The Sunsets, have announced the release of a new album this June titled, Antenna To The Afterworld. Fingers crossed we'll all be sportin' shorts at a Sonny show somewhere in town this summer. This week in Synthesis, Mark Herrera tackles the ongoing marijuana debate, we examine a new online sketch comedy group, and introduce the first installment of an original fourpart fantasy series. Speaking of fantasy, keep an eye out for weddings in season three of HBO's Game of Thrones, which launches this Sunday.

MARCH 25 - MARCH 31, 2013

WORDSEARCH Re: On the Town, March 18th issue Maybe some pies of joggers at One Mile and softball games at DeGarmo and the dog park would be a nice addition and fewer of the partiers at local pubs. - Kathy Keough, via www.facebook.com/ChicoCa. (Life In Chico)

Re: Why are you Smiling? by Kenny Kelly, March 18th Issue I enjoyed your article. I don't mean to get all Dostoevsky on you KK, but I just want it to be okay for people to scowl at people who are smiling for no reason. My question for you is- when you consider the lack of jobs in our economy, the lack of access to quality health care in our society, the mass incarceration of the underprivileged in our nation, and the smiling/back patting/ non-critical dialogue on most of the artistic efforts in our community, - Why aren't you scowling? - Denver, via Synthesis Weekly.com

Re: Letter from the Editor, March 18th issue HowdyActually, for many years your train fantasy was in operation; there were trains from Chico to Sac and SF. That was THE way to travel from the 1880's to 1947. You could pick up a 5-cent trolley anywhere in town and connect at the station to kick back for the rest of the journey. Play a little music, something to eat, bar car, visit. read, or sleep ... pretty darn civilized. After the big one, Americans became too "independent" and shifted to cars ... whereas in my visits to Europe & the orient, you can still jump on a train and get anywhere for pretty darn cheap. When you pop out the other end, there are trolleys and cheap vans to take you anywhere. In 1922, my grandparents moved across the whole United States, two weeks by train with everything they had, and a 4-year old. When I asked about it, they said that it was fun! Yes, the current Amtrack schedule guarantees it to be an inconvenient travel choice. I too wish we had better. Gee, I guess I just wrote a letter to the editor! If you had a letter section it could go in there ... - Gordy Ohliger Musical Mark Twain

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remained to provide a forum for entertainment, music, humor, community awareness, opinions, and change.

PUBLISHER Kathy Barrett kathy@synmedia.net

MANAGING EDITOR Sara Calvosa editorial@synthesis.net

EDITOR Nolan Ford nolan@synthesis.net

DESIGNERS Michaela Warthen Paige Cloke Tanner Ulsh graphics@synthesis.net

DELIVERIES Joey Murphy Molly Roberts

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Arielle Mullen. Bob Howard. Bryan Lex. Danny Cohen. David Neuschatz. Dillon Carroll. Evan Billman. Guy Starvist. Howl. Jack Knight. Jen Cartier. Josie Hall. Jeremy Gerrard. Kenneth Kelly. Koz McKev. Ky Junkins. Matt Olson, Molly Lex. Ryan Hawkley. Steve Swim, Tommy Diestel

PHOTOGRAPHY Jessica Sid Vincent Latham

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OWNER Bill Fishkin bill@synthesis.net The Synthesis is both owned and published by Apartment 8 Productions. All things published in these pages are the property of Apartment 8 Productions and may not be reproduced , copied or

used in any other way, shape or form without the written consent of Apartment 8 Productions. One copy (maybe two) of the Synthesis is available free to residents in Butte, Tehama and Shasta counties.

Anyone caught removing papers will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law (and our law!). All opinions expressed throughout the Synthesis are those of the author and are not necessarily the same opinions as Apartment 8 Productions and the Synthesis. The Synthesis welcomes, wants, and will even desperately beg for letters because we care what you think. We can be reached via snail mail at the Synthesis, 210 W. 6th St., Chico, California, 95928. Email letters@synthesis.net. Please sign all of your letters with your real name, address and preferably a phone number. We may also edit your submission for content and space.

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IMMACULATE INFECTION Bob How ard madbob@madbob.com

Johnny Appleseed Never Mowed the Damn Lawn My eyes are burning. I don't know exactly why. It could be allergies, but it's raining right now, so that seems unlikely. .. Who knows? I'm going with my standard home remedy - cheap red wine. The stuff I'm drinking now claims to be Cabernet Sauvignon. It came in a large glass bottle with a cute little screw top, for freshness and convenience. It might be working. I say "self;' you say "medicate!" On a count of three ... The oaks have their leaves again. This amazes me every year. One day the trees are bare and ominous, the next they are joyous, and sprouting pale, green foliage. I'm trying to enjoy the magic spring brings along with it, but sometimes all I see is grass; grass growing six inches a day, grass that needs to be mowed. I curse my suburban upbringing and a certain segment of our society's ridiculous obsession with well-manicured lawns and crystal-clear swimming pools. Life isn't well manicured, and it isn't crystal-clear. Imagine the time we spend, collectively as a society, simply edging the sod where it butts against our immaculate, concrete borders. Don't put your control issues, and your fear of the unknown, on me. Ah, but it's too damn late - the issues are there. The growing grass freaks me out. I thank

potential God everyday that I don't have a swimming pool. The scars from my childhood run deep. We have a cider orchard. I guess right now it's more of a miniorchard - we've only got about ten trees right now. Seven were grown from seed, so we have no idea what they will produce. Modern apples, like those you get in the store, are all hybrids, meaning different varieties were crossed to come up with the type that produces the desirable fruit. The hybridized variety is then cloned so it retains its characteristics such as color, flavor, and size. This is a form of genetic engineering that has been going on for centuries. When you plant the seeds from an apple, the ensuing tree will revert to an earlier genetic type sometimes an ancient, wild variety. The nice thing about this, from our point of view, is that many of these early varietals produce a fruit that is very good for making cider. The other three trees in the mini-orchard are meant specifically to produce cider apples. One is a type that allegedly comes directly from old Johnny Appleseed, a historic figure who has attained mythic status. Often portrayed as an altruistic

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nature-boy, it turns out Mr. Appleseed, born John Chapman, established apple nurseries in areas where he knew settlers would soon be moving to, and then may have leased the trees to cider producers. Depending on the sources you choose, Chapman was either a hippie or an entrepreneur; a gentle animal-lover or a misogynistic zealot. He was born in 1774, and it is impossible to know with certainty the truth regarding his life and temperament. In this case we're only talking about a couple of hundred years and some change; imagine the distortions that occur with the passing of millennium. But I digress. The truth doesn't have much to do with words anyway. Words represent, truth is. I've been reading too much Lao-Tzu, and the medicine seems to be working. My eyes are still burning, but I feel fine.

MA RC H 25 - MARC H 31, 2013

COMICAL RUMINATIONS Zooey Mae zooeymae@synthesis.net

Don We Now Our Gay Apparel I thought was a pedicab. Not my first choice, Last year I spent most of St. Patrick's Day but it would suffice. It was only after the bicycle comatose in a Benadryl-induced nap. This year operator had come to a complete stop and was eerily similar, although I did manage to regarded me with an inquisitive look that I squeeze in a bike ride and park picnic with my realized I hadn't hailed a cab, or even a pedicab. foxy man-friend before my allergies overtook It was one of the individuals who raid the trash me. I think that's a victory, albeit a small one. St. Patrick's Day, for Chico anyway, seems to me cans around town, then haul their findings in makeshift carts, attached to the back of their to be a "holiday" that people use as an excuse bikes. to don their gay (see also: festive) apparel and get as drunk I was a woman as possible. on a mission. Although these Undeterred, I days I don't asked him how set out with much he wanted inebriation as to deliver me my goal, this wasn't always home. Waving off his shrieks the case. Chico of"good god is a town woman, at least where it's easy let me make to be drunk. It's relatively a run home to empty out flat, the booze the cart;' I is cheap, and clambered into the bars are Just what wive been waiting his tiny vessel plentiful. constructed out 1 hat'1thcbeartyll'ftling folklah·e MOWlt Vemoo thele days of chicken wire I'm going -for a doubly l't!UOl:I. TMa wor!d·famOUli brand it blimded to and plywood, to confess - ttandards of llDOOlh- &Del lllhlne. to pl- the modern tuee lot mlldnea. and asserted my something to And to so with lhi# lino whi&lley'1 cleliciout tam ka price-cW'l'fuJ combination! address in the you, dear reader. Have uncorked the good c:slh!d MOll.Dt Vernon? general direction Something If NM'*-4 Dutilltn PtW- c.,,_.. N.. Y. of his ears. It embarrassing. wasn't until I Last summer, actually arrived home, paid the man, and made in a spree of indulgence, I imbibed past the it inside my house that the ridiculous nature of point of reason. I could walk without cause for my transportation occurred to me. concern, and my ability to articulate my mind wasn't by any means hindered. In hindsight it In any case, in a move that would be sure to was apparent that my powers of reasoning were prompt more embarrassing stories ifI wasn't considerably compromised. I was sitting in a closer to 30 rather than 21, the Huffington downtown establishment and I realized that I Post is reporting that California Senator, Mark needed to not be in public anymore. In short, I Leno, has introduced a new bill that would reached the moment where I could either pass allow Californian bars and restaurants to serve the point of no return or escort myself home, alcohol until 4AM. The argument is that the eat some popcorn and Siracha, and fall asleep extension would allow for more economic watching RuPaul's, Drag Race. growth and boost jobs. Personally, I fully support the extension of hours. Hobo cart rides I took myself outside with the intention for everyone! of hailing a cab. I stuck my hand overimage source: buzzfeed.com enthusiastically in the air when I spotted what

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Erica Makes Coffee If I were to say the words, "The Coffee Underbelly," it might conjure images of pork fat and coffee grounds; strange textures and smells. (I shouldn't invite you inside my mind). However, the secret world of coffee is not a dark, dingy thing; it's a stylish, innovative, and forward-thinking thing. Members of this coffee cult may be a little jittery because, yes, they are addicted to the caffeine running through their veins. But much like chefs, artisanal cheese makers, and probably goddamned florists, there are those in the coffee world who are committed to their craft; those whose hearts surge with the heat of a steam wand, and who understand that they are more than baristas. They are, in fact, artists. Chico's own Erica Koenig competed recently in the Southwestern Regional Barista Competition as a representative of Six Degrees Coffee Distribution and Thanksgiving Coffee Roasters. Erica has been making coffee for ten years. She's a great barista with a great personality, who loves connecting with her customers. When I was her customer, I'd order my ridiculous drink (some half-caf, half-sweet, soy, caramel latte). Sheu shake off my terrible taste in coffee, make me laugh, and serve me with a smile. I instantly wanted to be her friend. I mean, duh, she dances behind the coffee bar. Through nerves and anticipation, Erica Koenig danced her way (literally) to the regional competition with an espresso blend she developed with help from Thanksgiving Coffee Roasters. While most baristas pulled single

origin espressos, Erica wanted to make a name for herself by bringing a well-balanced blend carrying notes of blueberry, stone fruit, brown sugar, and cedar. The blend is called "The Contender" and it is absolutely delicious. During her 15-minute presentation, Erica pulled espresso for four judges, then served them each a cappuccino, and followed with a signature drink. As a farm kid herself, Erica's presentation focused on the farmers who grew the coffee beans, the importance of supporting fair trade and organic growers, and the roasters who purchase those beans at fair prices.

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Her signature drink was farm -inspired. "' Apricot jam, from fruit grown in her family's orchard, made up the first layer of the drink. The jam was topped with coconut cream infused with cardamom and local honey, and a double shot of The Contender was poured over that. I loved the balance of flavors, the way the jam complimented the existing stone fruit notes in the espresso, and the little kick of cardamom against the creamy coconut. After spending a weekend with the coffee elite, I look at our daily dose of caffeine a little differently. I'm a better-informed consumer, and I absolutely appreciate the artistry behind the craft. Those baristas are crazy dreamers (just like those of us who play with food for a living) who deserve credit for elevating the expectation for excellence in their craft. Industries are propelled by those who choose to dream.

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MARCH 25 - MARCH 31, 2013

by Mark Herrera "Let's get to the point, Let's roll another joint, And let's head on down the road, There's somewhere I got to go." -Tom Petty The freedom to responsibly access and administer medicine is a right everyone ought to have, but doesn't. That's because a prohibition on marijuana, medicinal or otherwise, has been in effect since the '30s. The federal government calls it a drug and patients call it medicine. Potato, potahto? Whatever your perspective, the fact of the matter is that this debate is costly to our country, and we desperately need a solution.

Thanks to California's landmark Proposition 215, you can have access to medicinal marijuana. Referred to as the "Compassionate Use Act of 1996," this law ensures that "patients and their primary caregivers who obtain and use marijuana for medical purposes, upon the recommendation of a physician, are not subject to criminal prosecution or sanction'.' All you need is a recommendation from a physician (of which there is no shortage in town) and you are free to legally explore an alternative to pills in a bottle. Another push-via-ballot initiative in 2010 AKA Proposition 19 would have legalized marijuana for recreational use. With a 53.5% opposed vote and 46.5% in favor, as reported by the Secretary of State, Californians missed out on a leadership opportunity to further pioneer the right to use medicinal marijuana. The projected savings to state and local governments included tens of millions of dollars an nually on the costs of incarcerations alone. Not to mention the income generated through taxing marijuana products. Fiscal responsibility, anyone? You may have noticed that Colorado and Washington recently rolled in to the voting booths and showed us how it's done. Good for them. It will be interesting to examine the fiscal impact in those states ...

MARCH 25 - MARCH 31, 2013

So here we are, 17 years post-Prop 215. While that law essentially legalized the use of medicinal marijuana in California, we still have a long road to recovery from the damages that fighting the so-proclaimed "War on Drugs" has caused our society.

"The projected savings to state and local governments included tens of millions of dollars annually on the costs of incarcerations alone. Not to mention the income generated through taxing marijuana products." California has essentially taken the stance that local jurisdictions are to hash out their own approach in facilitating the cultivation and distribution of this crop. And that's just what the Butte County Board of Supervisors has been trying to do for years. At the end of February, the BOS adopted an ordinance delineating specific requirements for cultivation. The new ordinance promotes setback regulations that vary depending on the acreage of the property, which addresses the very important public safety element. It also allows residential grow to

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something you believe in), but it's safe to say that we can ask our leaders to BE leaders. It's understandable why so many people are scared to speak out about this issue due to their careers or public image, but we also need to stress the importance of citizens freeing themselves from the perspective of fear that the "War on Drugs" has instilled in us. We need to fight for the right to have access. We shouldn't even be having the discussion of whether marijuana ought to be legalized anymore.

occur, but the caveat is that the grow needs to be within a greenhouse, obstructing the view and smell from the public, and helping to ensure public safety. The ordinance also outlines the complaint-driven aspect in terms of how the cops will enforce the ordinance, which can be good if not abused.

One such individual is Rob MacKenzie, the man behind 2012's Measure A. MacKenzie is a local lawyer who is doing what so many of us are too scared to do advocate on behalf of the citizens of Butte County for medicinal marijuana. Chatting with him was as refreshing as it was informative.

This recent ordinance is a fair one, especially compared to what the BOS tried to pull a couple years back. The BOS adopted Ordinance 4029 - a much more restrictive policy in which a 1.5-acre parcel or greater was required to grow, the Sheriff's office was authorized to conduct a warrantless search, and anyone wishing to grow was required to file medical records to the county. Wow, a clear limit to personal freedom and civil rights. This ordinance was slammed by a referendum in June, 2012.

"Congress should be on the forefront of this issue;' lamented MacKenzie. He thinks the reason Congress hasn't made the headway it should've by now is because they're afraid of not getting re-elected. This is a national issue, as MacKenzie points out, and the representatives in Congress need to BE leaders and provide solutions, instead of allowing the FBI and the DEA to set the precedent.

Enter "Measure A," which sent Ordinance 4029 up in smoke. We now have a better system in place and it's not perfect, but it's just about as good as it's going to get here in Butte County: a compromise. It would be rude not to express thanks to everyone who stood up for the right to access medicinal marijuana. There have been a handful of folks out there doing the groundwork collecting signatures, attending and speaking at city and county meetings, and writing letters to the editors of various publications, and they've done an effective job for the limited resources available to them.

It comes down to two things; our fear of public engagement, and legislators who remain in power with a vendetta against legalization. As a community and a culture, we must shift the marijuana paradigm. Too many lives have been ruined, too many tax dollars have been wasted, too many jails have been filled, too many patients have needed to go beyond the law at the cost of their own personal safety to gain access, and too many opportunities have been wasted to generate income for the state via taxation (an estimated 1.4 billion in annual revenue, according to drugpolicy. org). We can't, financially or morally, afford to keep marijuana as a federallylisted, schedule one substance. We need to do what's right on a local level and, hopefully, Congress will do what's right on a federal level.

Locally, MacKenzie encourages the public to speak out to their city council and ask that the dispensary ordinance be brought back to the table. Access is an important factor, and eliminating the dispensaries in town hinders a patient's ability to get access to their medicine; imagine if all the pharmacies closed in town. Why has the dispensary ordinance been disbanded? A well-placed threat by a high profile. Sacramento-based US attorney, Benjamin Wagner, wrote a letter to the Chico City Council warning that he would prosecute any city employee or official who violates federal law regarding dispensaries Naturally, the council decided against moving forward with such an ordinance. No one is asking anyone to go to jail over this (unless you believe it's worth going to jail over

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MARCH 25 - MARCH 31, 2013

young, wide-eyed actors relocating to Los Angeles in hopes of someday appearing on the silver screen. The hopeful talent may or may not be aware of the odds against major success, but they work themselves to the bone if even for just a small taste of the glory and the thrill of entertaining an audience. Today, with so many people competing to realize that same dream, it could be argued that that glimmer of hope has diminished even further. But the drive to answer the inner calling for a life in the world of entertainment continues to beckon those willing to make sacrifices in exchange for the mere possibility of their talent being recognized. The Dust Bowl Kids is a group of young comics in Los Angeles willing to work against those odds. Comprised of Eliot Schwartz, Heidi Gardner, Garrett Johnson, R.J. Haynes, and Chico transplant Kiel Kennedy, DBK initially began broadcasting their web series back in October. Since then, the online sketch comedy group has been consistently posting original sketch comedy shorts every Monday. The production quality is impressive, utilizing high-definition cameras with experienced operators and non-linear editing, but what makes the series remarkable is the talented creative writing and enthusiastic personalities of the actors. Before relocating to LA, Chico resident Kiel Kennedy was regularly performing stand-up at The Punchline in Sacramento. He took his routine down south and experienced success in several competitions, but has since gone on hiatus to focus on improv and sketch comedy

MARCH 25 - MARCH 31, 2013

training through The Groundlings School - the same breeding ground from which SNL scouted superstars such as Will Ferrell and Will Forte, two of Kennedy's biggest inspirations. Currently, Kennedy and Gardner await acceptance into the final, "advanced" level offered by the school. In the competitive world of show business, however, it doesn't do much good to just wait around. Kennedy explains, "We kind of are in this age now where everyone is pretty understanding that if you're not making things happen yourself, then you're losing." Hence, the birth of Dust Bowl Kids. "We knew that we all wanted to be performing together so we could keep growing while we were waiting for this next class at Groundlings:' The series nurtures a strange sense of humor, a la Tim & Eric, but not so bizarre that it's inaccessible or disturbing. Some examples of their sketches include a parody of a failed Kickstarter campaign in which the writers of a half-baked TV series beg their nonexistent fans for the financial support necessary to acquire books teaching them how to write. The sketch that launched the series, entitled "Goo Goo Forever;' features a married couple who've based their entire lives together around an obsession with The Goo Goo Dolls, only to discover during a fight that they don't even really like the band. In LA it's not uncommon for relatively unknown actors to garner attention via online comedy troupes and be

presented with bigger opportunities. Gardner cites a few examples, "There's these guys called The Birthday Boys from the UCB Theater. They've been putting out videos and perform live as well. I just heard they got a pilot deal with Comedy Central, and that's the same with the Workaholics guys. They were putting out videos for a few years, so if you can just stay consistent, hopefully you build a following:' Speaking of Workaholics, DBK has welcomed cameo performances from Jillian Bell (who stars on the show), as well as from Ryan Gaul (who Kennedy claims is in just about every commercial on TV) and SNL cast member, Taran Killam. These cameos are great for DBK because they bring new life to the sketches and also dramatically increase the amount of hits on their YouTube channel. The sketch featuring SNL's Killam has received by far the most hits. It seems that Kennedy and Gardner have a pretty good

thing going, but at the risk of sounding like a concerned parent, I persist in asking about the future of Dust Bowl Kids. Kennedy quickly fields the question with this response to conclude the interview: "My short-term goal is, 'Let's get to a year and have a sketch every single week.' If we make it to a year, I feel at that point we'll be so fluent and better and quicker at doing this. We're all learning new things, like I just started editing my first sketch and that'll help speed things along. The future is just to keep building an audience and keep getting better and then who knows what will happen?" Dust Bowl Kids airs every Monday. You can find them on Facebook, directly subscribe to their You Tube: http://www. youtube.com!dustbowlkids, or for regular Twitter updates follow @beingeliot.

by Nolan Ford

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DO LLAR DAZE 6-9pm SI Beer SI Wells S2 Doubles Chicken Strip Sand only S6 before 6 PM

Jr Grad Burger

MARCH 25 - MARCH 31, 2013

8-Close Pitcher Specials S6/S9/S12

Daily Happy Hour from 4-7PM PBR S2.25 Everyday '

Sign-up 6PM. Starts 7PM.

FREE Pool after IOPM

Mon-Fri 2-6PM S!.50 PBR or Coors Pints

Baby Back Ribs Sl 0 .99 Philly Cheesesteak S7 8PM-Close S4 teas and Sl 0 .50 import pitchers !Opm S2 Red Bull Party Starters S3 All pints $4 Long Island Teas

52 Kami Shooters 1/2 OFF POOL

S3 Soccer Moms

JAZZ NIGHT- Martini

$5 Smirnff Blasters S5 DBL Roaring Vodka

Specials All ages until IOPM

Hour ll-2PM $2 .50 Dom & Sierra Nevada Drafts 3-6PM S3.50 Dbl Wells 8-Close S2 .50 Dom & Sierra Nevada Drafts

Daily Happy Hour from 4-7PM Full Bar in Back Room Weds, Fri & Sat Nights ! PBR $2.25 Everyday!

Open llAM Bloody Mary Bar Noon-6PM S8 Dom Pitcher $9 SN Pitcher 8PM-Close S6.50 DBL calls

Daily Happy Hour from 4-7PM Full Bar in Back Room Weds, Fri & Sat Nights ' PBR S2.25 Everyday!

IOAM-2PM $5 Bottles of Champagne with entree S4.50 Bloody Mary $5.50 Absolut Peppar Bloody Marys

Daily Happy Hour from 4-7PM PBR S2.25 Everyday!

Mon-Fri 2-6PM S!.50 PBR or Coors Pints 52 Kami Shooters 1/2 OFF POOL All ages until lOPM

Bartenders Choice

9 Ball Tournament. Sign-up at noon . Starts

!PM. All ages until lOPM FREE POOL I hr. with every S8 purchase All ages until IOPM

10 oz. Tri-Tip Steak w/

Fries or Salad & Garlic Bread $7.99 8pm-Close S4 Jager S5 DBL Vodka Red Bull JO-Close Jr Grad Burger w/ fries or salad S3.99 Baby Back Ribs with Salad, Fries & garlic Bread SI0.99 8pm-Close $4 Jack & Coke S5 DBLs S3 Captain 9PM-Close S2 Sierra Nevada SS Patron S4.99 Grad, Garden/ turkey Burger w/ fries/ salad Bloody Marys $3 Well S4 Call S5 Top shelf S6 Grey Goose

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w/ fries

salad $3.99

8 Ball Tournament

8-close

$3 14oz Slushies S4 20oz Slushies Add shot for SI

$6 Pulled pork sand w/

fries or salad

teams . Sign up with

2-close S2.50 wells & Dom Drafts $3.50 Dbl Wells & Kami shots

8PM-Close S3.50 Jim Beam, Captain Morgan and Jameson

MONSTER MONDAY SPECIALS 6PM-CL05E

bartender. Starts 7PM. All ages until IOPM

Dom Drafts

WING WEDNESDAY ' S2 for 3 Wings S2 .50 SN Pint All Day

Mon-Fri 2-6PM Sl.50 PBR or Coors Pints S2 Kami Shooters 1/2 OFF POOL Pool League, 3 player

SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM

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BURGER MADNESS!

MUG NIGHT 7-IUO 40oz beer S2.SO or S3 S2 Steelhead Porter SS Gentleman Jack Shot S3 Fireball

Bear Burger with fries

or salad for SS.29. llam-!Opm.

S2 All Day

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S2 Select Sierra Nevada or Dom Drafts

S2 Kamis -any fhvor

BEAR WEAR! 1/2 off while wearing Bear Wear. MUG CLUB 4-IOPM

KARAOKE 9-CLOSE

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Available For Private Parties . Make your reservation

today!

S3 Tea of the Day and Bartender Special

S2.2S PBR S2.7S Well & Dom. All day - Every day

Progressive Night! 8-lOPM SI Sierra Pale Ale, Domestics & well cocktails up lOPM-dose 25<: per hour-dose Mon-Sat free pool 6-8PM

S3 Tea of the Day S3.50 Sky Vodka Cocktails

S2 2S PBR S2.7S Well & Dom. All day - Every day

Buck Night 8-close Sl well cocktails, Sierra Nevada Pale Ale, dom draft S3 Guiness Drafts, S2 Black Bulle SS Vodka Redbull

S3 all teas S6 Sky Vodka and Redbull BUCK NIG HT 9PM-Close SI BEERS SI WELLS SI TEAS

S2.2S PBR S2.7S Well & Dom. All day - Every day

S3.50 ISi party punch S3 Fire Eater Shots S6 .50 Apple Cinnamon

SIO BOTILES OF CHAMPAGNE

8-9PM SI pale ale and dom draft

S4 Double Peach Tea Lemonade

53 Cuervo Sunrise S2 Miller Lile

All 16 oz Teas or AMF S3 All Day

Go Downlo

TRIKE RACES! Post lime@ !Opm.

LIVE MUSIC

Wln T-shirts and Bear

S4 Crown Royal ReseNe, S3 Merlo! S6 Strongbow + Fireball shot

Bucks. MUG CLUB 4-IOPM

Happy Hour 11-6PM S2.7S select bollles & drafts

DANCEHALL S2 Select Beers S3 Teas

BURGER MADNESS! Bear Burger with fries or salad for SS.29. llam-!Opm.

S2 16oz Wells

KARAOKE 9PM S4 Double Cherry Bourbon Coke S4 Crown Royal Black SS Double Sour Apple Smirnoff and Rockstar

S2 Marqis S3 Cuervo Marqis S2.SO Corona's & Sierra Drafts Mon-Sat 3PM-6PM Sl Dom draft, S2 SN draft, Sl.SO wells

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CLOSED

Happy Hour 4-8PM SS House Martinis

S4 Glass of House Wine S3 Well Cocktails 20% off wine by bo!!le SI off Call liquor and bollled beer

Happy Hour 4-8PM SS House Martinis

S4 Glass of House Wine S3 Well Cocktails 20% off wine by bollle SI off Call liquor and bo!!led beer

close Free Happy Hour Food 4PM until ifs gone Happy Hour 11-6PM select wells, bottles and pints S2.7S

S4 Sex On The Beach 54 Sierra Nevada Knightro ON TAP SI Jello Shots 7-IOPM S3 Rumpy, Jager and Fireball

S4 World Famous Bloody Joe SS Premium bloodys your choice of vodka

!! !FEVER FRIDAYS!!!

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SS Barlendeis Choice SS

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Call To Rent For Private Party Go Downlo

BURGER MADNESS! Bear Burger with fries or salad for SS.29. llam-!Opm.

LGBTOA+ DANCE PARTY S3 Passionfruit Press, SS Double Watermelon Smirnoff and Rockstar S3 Salted Caramel Shot

LIVE MUSIC S3 Whipped Chocolate Russian S4 Double Passionfruit sex on the beach Sl Frui!Loop Shot

TRIVIA 8PM S2 .SO Mimosas/Bloody Mary's or Mariah's S4 Double Cranberry Smirnoff Screwdriver S4 Sour Apple-Tini

S3 Tea of the Day S4.SO DBL Captain Morgan Cocktails SS Vodka Redbull

S2 2S PBR S2.7S Well & Dom. All day - Every day

Power Hour 8-9PM 1/2 off Liquor & Drafts 9PM-Close S3 Pale Ale Drafts S9.7S Pale Pitchers REMY MARTIN PROMO SS Remy Cocktails IO-close

Happy Hour 4-8PM SS House Martinis S4 Glass of House Wine S3 Well Cocktails 20% off wine by bollle SI off Call liquor and bo!!led beer

S3 Tea of the Day S4.SO DBL Captain plus Bartender Special

S2.2S PBR S2.7S Well & Dom. All day - Every day

Mon-Sat 3PM-6PM SI Dom draft, S2 SN draft, SI.SO wells, Power Hour 8-9PM 1/2 off Liquor & Drafts 9-Close S3 Skyy Cocktails & Pale Ale Drafts S9.7S Pale Pitchers

Complimentary Wine Tasting featuring the Mt. Tehama Winery of Manton, CA. S-7PM

Champagne Brunch 10AM-2PM Happy Hour prices until 8PM

CLOSED

REMY MARTIN PROMO SS Remy Cocktails 10-dose

Open all day and night for Easter Sunday!

FACEBOOK.COM/CHICOCA • SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM

MARCH 25 - MARCH 31, 2013

WEDNESDAY-SATURDAY, MARCH 2?TH- JQTH

THURSDAY, MARCH

Bunnymilk, The Hive Dwellers, The Chrome, & The Muddy Sours

Tick, Tick ... BOOM!

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CHICO THEATER COMPANY Black and White Productions' debut theater offering takes its audience on the autobiographical journey of playwright/composer, Jonathan Larson (who later wrote the classic, Rent, and who famously died the morning of it's Off-Bradway opening). It's 1990 and Larson's waiting tables in the big city and starting to feel discouraged about his artistic dreams. Directed by Liam Selby, and featurng ten characters, three actors, and 14 songs performed by a live band, this is more than just a best bet. It's a slam-dunk. 7:30PM (2PM matinee on Saturday). $10. All ages welcome.

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25MONDAY The Bear: Bear-E-oke! 9PM. Cafe Flo: Jazz Happy Hour with Carey Robinson Trio. 5-7PM. DownLo: Pool League - 3 player teams, sign up with bartender. 7PM. Last Call Lounge: Karaoke. 8PM. Maltese: Open Mic Night Comedy. Signups @ 8, Starts @ 9. Mug Night 7-11:30PM. Sierra Nevada Big Room: 18 South. 7:30PM. $20. Woodstock's: Spelling Bee For the Grown Ups. 6:30-7:30PM.

lOOth Monkey Cafe & Books: Dreamwork Circle - Share dreams & explore techniques for discovering their secrets. 6:30-8PM. $10. The Bear: Bear Wear! 1/2 off while wearing Bear Wear. Mug Club 4-lOPM. Cafe Flo: Open Mic with Aaron. 7-9PM. Crazy Horse Saloon: Allrequest karaoke. 21 +.

DownLo: Game night with DJ DannyK. 7PM The Hub: Chico Salsa Connection - Intro to Salsa & Latin Dance 8PM. Dancing 8:30-Close. FREE LaSalle's: '90's Night. 21 +. Maltese: Karaoke 9PM-Close. Studio Inn Lounge: Karaoke 8:30PM-1AM. The Tackle Box: Karaoke 9PM. Woodstock's: Trivia Challenge. Call @ 4PM on date to reserve a table. 6:30 PM.

MARCH 25 - MARCH 31, 2013

Thursdays at Coda have been yielding some pretty legit talent over the last few weeks, but this bill is one for the books. Bunnymilk delivers some of the sweetest voices and mesmerizing harmonies of any female duo in town. They'll be debuting all new material at this gig, which marks the end of a long hiatus for the band. Local indie two-piece, The Chrome, will be releasing their debut EP at this show as well, so make sure to bring some extra cash to support them. 8PM. $5. All ages. Crazy Horse Saloon: Wild dance lessons, mechanical bull, Crazy Horse Girls, DJ Hot Rod Ent. 8-lOPM. Chico Theater Company: Black & White Productions' debut production - Tick, Tick. .. BOOM! 7:30PM. $10. Chico Women's Club: West African Dance with Imelda Mata. Live drumming. 5:30-7PM. $10. Chico Women's Club: Ecstatic Dance. Live music played by the TranceFormation Band. 7: 15-8:30. DownLo: 8 Ball Tournament. Signups 6PM, Starts 7PM. Duffy's: Dance night! DJ Spenny and Jeff Howse. 9PM. Feather Falls Casino: Dance Club. Dress to impress! 9:30PM. $5 cover includes one drink. LaSalle's: Z-Rock presents Money Shot Rock Fight. 9PM. $3. Maltese: DJ Harrison & Live Pianist. 8PM. Senator Theatre: Lotus with VibeSquaD. 9PM. $18. Tackle Box: Beginner Swing Dancing Lessons. 7-9PM.

27WEDNESDAY lOOth Monkey Cafe & Books: Open Mic. Singers, songwriters, musicians, vocalists and comedians. All ages welcome. 7PM. The Bear: Trike Races. Wintshirts and Bear Bucks. Post time lOPM. Mug dub 4- lOPM. Cafe Coda: Cold Blue Mountain, Ninth Moon Black, Io Torus. 8PM. $5. Cafe Flo: Jazz Happy Hour with Carey Robinson Trio. 5-7PM. Followed by Way Out West with the Blue Merles. 7:30-9:30PM.

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Towne Lounge: Black Fong. 9PM. VIP Ultra Lounge (Inside The Beach): Laurie Dana. 7-9PM. Woodstock's: Trivia Night plus Happy Hour. Call @ 4PM on date to reserve a table. 8PM.

28 THURSDAY Cafe Coda: Bunnymilk, The Hive Dwellers, The Chrome, & The Muddy Sours. SPM. $5. All ages. Cafe Flo: Improv Jam - Workshop with Michael 5-7PM. Followed by Blues Unplugged with Stephen Truskol & special guests Jive Coulis. 7- lOPM. Chico Theater Company: Black & White Productions' debut production - Tick, Tick. .. BOOM! 7:30PM. $10. DownLo: Chico Jazz Collective every Thursday. 8PM. Graduate: Red Bull Movie Night. lOPM. Grana: Live Jazz w/ John Seid 5:30-8:30PM. Has Beans: Open Mic Night. 7-lOPM. Sign-ups start@ 6PM. Lakeview Restaurant (Oroville): Carey Robinson Jazz. 6-9PM.

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SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM

THURSDAY, MARCH 28rH

SATURDAY, MARCH 3QTH Three Fingers Whiskey

Blues Unplugged Feat. Jive Coulis CAFE FLO If you're looking for a mellow Thursday night at a smaller, cozier venue, then the live blues music at Cafe Flo is your best bet for this Thursday. The evening will be hosted by Steven Truskol, but will also feature the talents ofJive Coulis who are on tour from Ashland, Oregon. The band usually plays as a full electric rock trio, but will be mellowing their sound to match the calm vibes of the venue. The doors open at 7PM and the show is free. All ages are welcome, but there's beer for those of age as well.

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DOWN LO This Saturday, grab your dancing boots and head down the stairs for the quick picking and rollicking rhythms of Three Fingers Whiskey. The laid-back atmosphere of the DownLo, with its many pool tables and hometown, Cheersesque vibe, is the perfect environment for their raucous country sound. One more Cammie win for these guys and they're inducted into the Cammies Hall of Fame. Because the DownLo is all ages until lOPM, the 7-lOPM show is open to all. Oh, and try the DownLo's wings and cheese fries. They're exquis.

DIVA WENDY'S SO's DANCE PARTY Every Friday starting March 15rn 9PM - lAM No Cover DJ RICK "O" Dress up SO's Style Special prizes for Wendy's choice male I female

• ••• • •• • • •• • ••• • •• • • • • • ••• • •• • • •• • • •• • ••• • •• • • •• • ••• • LaSalle's: Happy Hour: Blooze on the Rocks. 6-9PM. No cover. Lost On Main: The Dancehall Ft: Zion Roots. 9PM-2AM. $2. Maltese: Karaoke 9PM-Close. Monstro's: Glitter Wizard, Crag Dweller, and guest. SPM. $5. Panama's: Eclectic NightsBuck Night & DJ Eclectic spinning favorites of today and yesterday on the patio. 9PM. Quackers: Karaoke Night with Andy. 9PM-1AM. Tackle Box: Dylan's Dharma PV Wrestling Benefit. 7PM. $5 donation. Towne Lounge: Dive Bar Disco with DJ 2K. 9PM. $1 VIP Ultra Lounge: Acoustic Performance w/ Bradley Relf. 7-9PM. No cover.

29 FRIDAY 1OOth Monkey Cafe & Books: Writing Group - Write, & share. 3:30-5PM. The Beach: DJ 2K & Mack Morris. 9PM-close. $2, $10 VIP. Chico Theater Company: Black & White Productions' debut production - Tick, Tick. .. BOOM! 7:30PM. $10.

Downlo: Jive Coulis -9PM Duffy's: Pub Scouts. 4-7PM. Kelly's Tavern (Oroville): Karaoke with Mora Sounds. 7-llPM. LaSalle's: EPIC presents Spring Beach Bash ft. Jump Smokers, DJ Flipside, & Wild Boyz. SPM. Lakeview Restaurant (Oroville): Carey Robinson Jazz. 6-9PM. Lost On Main: Fever Fridays with DJ Freakbeatz plus Marty James & MDA of One Block Radius w/Nick Harris on drums. Dress to impress! 9PM-2AM. Maltese: Fabulous Friday LGBTQA +Dance Party. 9PM. Peeking: BassMint - Electronic Dance Party. 9:30PM. $3-5. Quackers: Live DJ. 9PM. T-Bar: Live music 7-8:30PM. Tackle Box: Live music with Northern Heat. 9PM. Tortilla Flats: Latin Nights. Espanol & English DJ dancing with DJ (El, Kora) de Chico.

30SATURDAY lOOth Monkey Cafe & Books: Knitting Circle. 2-4PM. 1078 Gallery: Live music with Amitie, Sean Thompson, Seamus Turner, & Don Perish. Doors 7:30PM, Show SPM. $5-10. Cafe Coda: Perpetual Drifters, Jive Coulis, JP Gutierrez. SPM. $5. All ages. Cafe Flo: Bluegrass Jam. l-4PM. Followed by La Luz, Fera, She Fetus, & Bran Crown. 7- lOPM. Cal Skate: Adults Only Skate Night. 9-11:30PM. $6. 18+ Chico Theater Company: Black & White Productions' debut production - Tick, Tick. .. BOOM! 2PM. $10. DownLo: Wounded Pickup CD Release Party with Three Fingers Whiskey plus special guest 7-llPM. Farwood Bar & Grill (Orland): Eric Peter - solo guitar. 8:30PM. LaSalle's: 1980NOW! SPM. Lost On Main: For the Love of Frank, Frank Zappa Tribute 9PM$5 Maltese: The Ukulele Show. 9PM.

Paradise Performing Arts Center: Classic Hot Elvis Tribute by Jim Anderson & the Rebels. Doors 6PM, Show 7PM. $24 door, $22 adv. Quackers: Live DJ. 8:30PM1AM. No cover. Sky Creek Dharma Center: Animal Drumming Journey and Power Animal Dance. 2-5PM. $25. Tackle Box: Live music with Low Flying Birds. 9PM. Towne Lounge: ClubOl #Network: 01 Year Anniversary - DJ Set/Hosted by JPEG. 9PM. VIP Ultra Lounge: Wine Tasting Event - Mt. Tehama Winery. 5-7PM.

31SUNDAY Crazy Horse Saloon: Sunday Fun day. DownLo: Open Mic Comedy Night. 9PM. LaSalle's: Karaoke. SPM. Maltese: Trivia SPM. The Tackle Box: Karaoke with DJ Shelley. SPM.

RESPECT

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MARCH 25 - MARCH 31, 2013

1s I

THE ARCHIVES Dillon Carroll dillon@synthesis.net

CHECK IT OUT! If you

see yourself

pictured here you can tag your photo on our Life In Chico Facebook page!

facebook.com/chicoca

This week, "The Archives" is devoted to a little personal history of the Archivist. Six years ago this week, my Grandpa Jack Carroll passed away. To my youthful eyes, Grandpa Jack was a man who was larger than life. He had been a successful boxer in the Navy, an All-American football player at the University of Nebraska, and a successful football coach at Sunnyvale High School in San Jose. He was the epitome of what a grandfather should be, so much so that the two boys who grew up next door to my family even asked their mother to remarry so they could have a grandfather (theirs had long since passed away). Jack was gentle and kind, cheerful and funny, and endlessly optimistic. But that was not always the case. Human beings are complex creatures. We live multi-faceted, compartmentalized lives. We are, at our core, both shockingly fragile and enduringly resilient. We are capable of moments of gross selfishness and of amazing sacrifice. My grandfather, Jack Carroll, was the embodiment of this dualism of the human existence. If he were to be judged solely as a father, it would be hard not to label him as grossly incompetent. He had achieved success in hyper-masculine environments such as the boxing ring in the Navy, and on the football field both as a player and a coach. Unfortunately, trying to impart this hypermanliness to children can result in a violent formative experience. Fistfights soon became the answer to most conflicts-between siblings, and between father and sons. Jack also became ensnarled in the thorns of alcoholism. He often had to be pulled out of the local bar by his wife, and was guilty of several charges of driving under the influence. Seemingly lost in a thicket of violence and alcoholism, Grandpa Jack decided to make his way out of the darkness and into a life absent of conflict and booze. When and where this decision was made is unclear. But what we do know, and what is most important, is that Jack made

MARCH 25 - MARCH 31, 2013

a clear and conscious choice-to no longer remain the person that he was, and to reinvent himself in order to be the person he wanted to be. He gave up alcohol, recommitted himself to his wife, Beverley, and remained faithful to her throughout the rest of their marriage. He built on his failures as a father to remake himself as a grandfather. While his life was certainly still wrought with challenges, he had seemingly shed the skin of his former self and re-emerged as a person that everyone came to admire and adore. As I look back on my life, I cannot imagine what it would have been like without Grandpa Jack. I will never forget his constant aphorisms about doing your best, studying hard, being a good friend and, more importantly, a good person. Two of the greatest gifts he gave to me came not through direct advice, but were imparted to me when I meditated on his life after he had passed away. What I found was ultimately one of the greatest lessons he has ever given me. First, through his failures as a father, I am convinced he, in some way, molded my father into the man he is. Jack inadvertently gave my dad a clear outline of how not to be a father. Building on his father's mistakes, my dad became a wonderful parent. My parents created a family that was free of violence and filled with love, kindness, and encouragement. I am endlessly grateful for the childhood they provided my siblings and me. Second, Jack's life is a clear demonstration that it is never too late. The human spirit is capable of great elasticity-it bends, but rarely does it break. Not only are we incredibly resilient, but we have the power, sometimes through sheer force of will, to rise up and remake ourselves into the person we want to be. Jack demonstrated that the point of no return does not exist. At the lowest place in his life, he made the decision to change himself, and through grit and determination, he became a new man. I am confident it was not easy. But I am sure he would be happy to know that he is remembered as a kind and gentle soul, who gave wonderful advice and encouragement, and accepted everyone. We miss him terribly.

SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM

OFF MY LAWN! Jaimie O'Neill jaimeandkarenoneill@msn.com

PHOTOS BY JESSICA SID

ON THE TOWN

The Perfect Human Being Over the course of my life, I served on several screening committees charged with sorting out the people to be hired for various jobs. Among the standard questions put to those interviewed was the one in which interviewees were asked to enumerate their strengths and weaknesses. There was no right answer for that question, but there were surely wrong answers responses that might send up a red flag about the character of the person being considered. Through hundreds of interview sessions, I never heard a job applicant say they couldn't think of a single personal weakness. And, if any of those interviewees had answered with such a startling lack of humility and paucity of introspection, those of us doing the interviewing would have had the information we needed to eliminate them from further consideration.

when we invaded Iraq in a war that was totally unnecessary, that added something like a trillion dollars to the nation's indebtedness, and that cost some four thousand young Americans their lives and blighted the lives of tens of thousands of others who sustained life-changing injuries. This is theman who still seems to believe that there were weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, justifying mili tary action that killed hundreds of thousands of Iraqi civilians and strengthened Iranian power in the region. This is also theman who evaded serving in the military when he was young, saying he had "other priorities" even while cheerleading the policies and the politicians who were sending other young men and women of his generation to their deaths in Viet Nam.

"Dick Cheney never

spends time wondering if he has any faults."

But, in a recent interview conducted for a Showtime documentary on his life, former Vice President Dick Cheney was completely stumped when asked to name one of his faults. "I don't spend much time thinking about my faults;' he told the documentarian after a long pause failed to provide him with even a whisper of self-doubt. This, we should remember, is the man who said we would be welcomed as liberators

Dick Cheney never spends time wondering if he has any faults. But, if you were serving on a hiring committee, would you hire anyone who exhibited such arrogance? Who in his or her right mind would want such a man as a colleague, let alone choose him to be just a heartbeat away from the most powerful job in the world? But we hired this monster not once, but twice. Shame on him. Shame on us.

FACEBOOK.COM/CHICOCA â&#x20AC;˘ SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM

MARCH 25 - MARCH 31, 2013

First in a Series of Four Words by: Justin Ferrin

Art by: Nik Burman

Animating a corpse is a fairly simple procedure; a few candles, a body, and the right words are all you need. From a magical perspective, raising a ghoul is no different from controlling any other object. It's just energy manipulating matter. Ghouls are perfect for mindless labor, but little else. If you' re looking to bring back a loved one or for some reason need more than a meat puppet, a resurrection is what you 're after. Resurrections are tricky. While raising a corpse is disgusting, it doesn't break nature's laws. I suppose resurrection doesn't either, but it sure as hell exploits the loopholes.

The final element to performing this ritual is an iron will. If for even a second you lose focus, the spell will fail. And it's not a simple matter of finding another virgin and trying again next year. When the bridge breaks, both souls will be lost between worlds. That means you can't feel a shred of remorse for your victim. If you can

A big silver moon lights the cool night, appropriately referred to as a hunter 's moon this month. October is when the crazies come out to play. Tonight's hunt will be no exception. My mark has been on the run for a decade, but all the intel says that she ' ll be here tonight. I've never taken down a witch before so I'm a little nervous, and excited. Hunters don't normally handle magic users. Normally that's a Templar job.

To resurrect someone you' ll need to do more than light some dollar-store candles and recite a mantra over their remains. The body will need to be fresh, so your first order of business will be rebuilding their mortal husk. Once that's done, you need a bridge between our world and that of the dead for their soul to travel on. Killing someone is the easiest way to do this. That bridge will last just long enough for the deceased's soul to cross over - about fifteen seconds, which is barely enough time to contact a soul and pull it back to earth. The barrier separating the worlds is thinnest during October; performing the sacrifice then can expand the window by a whole minute. Rebuilding a human body and dragging a soul across worlds requires considerable energy. A lack of energy is what causes most spells to fail. That shouldn't be a problem, though. You 're already murdering someone, so you might as well double dip and perform blood magic. I couldn't explain to you why, but virgin blood provides more bang for the buck. If virgin sacrifice wasn't cliche enough, you ' ll want to perform the spell beneath a full moon at the stroke of midnight. A full moon at its apex is a powerful catalyst.

I ta

MARCH 25 - MARCH 31, 2013

coffee. The butt sizzles for a second and then floats beside a few more just like it. I give myself a quick pat down; gun, smokes, lighter, knife, medallion, phone, keys. I toss my phone into the glove compartment before exiting my car. Last time I worked a case like this my damn phone got fried. Unfortunately, the insurance policy didn't cover witchcraft.

Massive trees cast their shadows over the road. I almost stumble on a large root that's grown up through the gravel. After fifty paces I reach a mushroom-infested log. I scouted the area a few nights ago, so I know that beyond this log the road is visible from the cemetery. I step over the decomposing log, leaving the road for a grove of gnarled black oaks. The grove has one particularly large tree that was once used to hang convicts. The oak's sturdy limbs and proximity to the graveyard made it a prime choice.

do that, your resurrection will succeed, but you'll have lost your humanity in the process. You' ll be a monster, void of empathy. It's my job to hunt monsters. My phone buzzes, shining through my worn blue jeans. 11 : 15, time to get to work. I kill the alarm and take a deep drag from my cigarette before tossing it into a stale cup of

The grove conceals me all the way to a rusty chain-link fence covered with yellow "no trespassing" signs. A large bush has grown into this section of the fence. This seemed like the best way in, so I pre-cut the fence where the bush would cover it. Despite how carefully I peel back the fence my arm catches as I'm passing through, causing the fence to jingle, and leaving a three-inch scratch just below my wrist. Damn it, five minutes into this hunt and I'm already bleeding. I draw my 1911 and crouch behind the nearest grave marker, a stone angel.

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HOWL howl@synthesis.net

Let's Hope For Corsets Three Victorian women traveling through space and time, learning about the universe, themselves, and each other. This is my recurring sci-fi wet dream, but more importantly it's the premise of On The Verge - the new piece of theatre from CSUC. "It's clearly about women and their particular travel through time," director Joel Rogers says. "It's about humans as they move and develop through history and into the future." Apparently, the most challenging aspect of this piece was getting the female cast into the language of the play. "The language and rhythm of the Victorian lady traveler is quite different from our speech. It's fun to watch the construct of their language deteriorate as they move from time to time, growing more nostalgic for the future." What? Well... I definitely heard "lady," "Victorian," and "future." Let's hope for corsets, hoop dresses, and a steampunk-themed after-party. Find out for yourself April 2-7 at the Wismer Theatre. You can get tickets at the University Box Office. Meanwhile, the Senator continues to exhibit symptoms of undiscovered awesomeness, with the huge light show/dance party on March 27th. I know it's a Wednesday, but this is a show of Coachella caliber. Opening the show is VibeSquaD: hot, heavy, and awesome; a beautiful slice of bass music that usually only plays NorCal shows in SF.

This DJ is light on the dubstep, heavy on the trap. It's gonna be a lot like what you get in BassMint, and in the extremely bassy room that is Senator this is a very good thing. The headliner is Lotus, which is made up of five clean-cut white guys who jam really hard. Zero lyrics, maximum groove that never stops. There's also a lot of synthy bleep-bloops and some samples. From what I can tell, the Lotus experience is really about the visuals; you have to see their epic light show to fully enjoy the music. I decided to hit up their bassist, Jesse Miller, to see what he had to say. "If this new album were a dream of mine, it would all exist inside an epic eightbit video game adventure, and the colors would seem abnormally bright in a way that let me know it was all adream ... and I'd be riding a dinosaur'.' When I asked him what he knew about Chico, he said, "That's where the Sierra Nevada Torpedo cans come from'.' I asked him which Pokemon his band would be, but he didn't know what a Pokemon was. Don't be shy, Chicoans! The more local news, the better. This biweekly arts primer is your chance to share what you're working on. Theatre, performance art, receptions, concerts, strange masquerades ... email me: howl@synthesis.net

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Star Thistle Wall, Stolas, and Monk Warrior March 20th My Wednesday nights are seldom filled with as much ear-bashing, hair envy, or striptease keyboard playing as I experienced at La Salle's last week. Monk Warrior, Stolas, and Star Thistle Wall came prepared with a slew of sounds and sights for the small, yet supportive turnout. Redding's instrumental trio, Monk Warrior, lead off with an impressive set chock-full of Jeff Cole's psychedelic guitar effects and the outstanding rhythm section comprised of Dorian Jaimes (bass) and Nathan Sletner (drums). Sletner is a relatively new addition to the band who Cole dubbed "an inspiration:' He certainly added an enthusiastic element from the back of the stage. The three members were all technically proficient, which made for a magnificently listenable set. The dance floor was about half-full and consisted of a few head-bobbers as well as a couple of guys who were just stoked to have some live jams to dance to. My only wish was that the volume had been just a touch lower to allow for more emphasis of each individual instrument, especially since these guys are all pretty awesome in their respective roles.

La Salle's

After a brief set change, Stolas, who are touring out of Las Vegas, took the stage to give everyone a little taste of the songs from their debut album, Living Creatures. The little taste definitely packed a punch. Lead by guitarist/vocalist, Jason Weiche, Stolas' live energy was relentless. Channeling the stage presence of At The Drive-In, Weiche and lead guitarist, Sergio Medina, thrashed about as the band delivered an onslaught of progressive tunes. Their set began with a couple of songs that displayed some of their post-hardcore influence, emphasizing volume, speed, and ... more volume. Then they mellowed out a bit, laying down a blend of mid-tempo melodies to give our ears a rest from their more ass-kicking, headbanging pieces. They closed with a tribute to Rage Against The Machine's "Killing in the Name;' and I was left wondering what kind of shampoo Medina uses. Headlining the event was Chico's own Star Thistle Wall - a four-piece experimental/ indie band gearing up for the release of their first album, I'll Never Call This House a Home. Keyboardist, Matt Blackmore, had promised via Facebook to play in just his underwear if ten of his coworkers showed up. Only nine made it, but Blackmore decided to round up. Thomas Fogg passionately delivered his distinctive grunge-folk vocals backed by Joey Wright on bass and Kevin Berg on drums, all while half-naked Blackmore banged the keys with finesse. The guys strung together a few of their groovy, foot-stomp offerings for the largest crowd of the night. Fuzzy-eared and wide-eyed, I departed from La Salle's thinking how awesome and supportive the local music scene is, allowing bands like Monk Warrior, Stolas, and Star Thistle Wall to showcase exactly how a little boundary-pushing, creative influence, and soulful energy can go a long way to create such unique and inspiring sounds.

MARCH 25 - MARCH 31, 2013

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MARCH 25 - MARCH 31, 2013

ARIES Move forward with dignity and strength. Your vision gets dearer day by day. You feel motivated and strong. Things are flowing with a sense of grace. You become more attractive by the day. Wednesday's full moon is good for romance, partnerships, engagements, and marriage. Face your fears and acknowledge your desires. Saturday night through Sunday is good for trying new things. Be conscious of many new opportunities that are presenting themselves

GEMINI Gift-giving can be a part of your mission of random acts of kindness. Kindness is more powerful than insults or violence. Love goes beyond fear and gives us the courage to live a new day. You have many powerful friends around you. The full moon illuminates the matters of the heart. You learn to have fun in spite of public pressure. Whenever you give freely you end up receiving more than when you pursue selfish goals. The full moon ignites your creative life.

LEO Good fortune is with you, plain and simple. The ninth house of your horoscope is activated This could mean news from abroad, going back to school (especially grad school), or a specialized program in mechanics or massage. This is a good time to win a raffle or to embark on a longdistance journey. Demonstrate a higher philosophy for living. Try lots of new things. The full moon activates your house of communication and the local environment. Expect sudden busyness.

LIBRA The balance has been restored between day and night and now the light is taking over. You are a beautiful part of a beautiful world If you want a certain kind of love, you'll need to take some risks to get there. The full moon in Libra on Tuesday night/Wednesday morning brings you goals and ambitions, as well as a self preserving consciousness. This is your time to see everyone as a reflection of you. Venus in your seventh house also makes others find you more attractive.

SAGITTARIUS Pace yourself as you are in a sixth house transit and there is much that currently needs to be worked on. The moon will be in Scorpio Thursday night through most of Saturday. Be ready for a more intense version of people's personal agendas. Stay calm. Remember that love is the one service you are able to deliver with the most grace. Continue to work on manifesting your dreams. You can be a thoughtful team player that takes into account other people's needs.

AQUARIUS Learning and knowing are two different things. Knowing is static for an occasion or a moment, while learning is an ongoing process. You need to constantly refresh your sources of information and your ability to absorb new truths. People are still depending on you to be in the know. Visits from old friends and siblings are more likely to happen. The full moon inspires travel, sage-like wisdom, and embracing exotic cultures and unusual people.

CANCER Being in power is a mixed blessing. It's the cook in the kitchen that faces the most heat. We are all learning as we are doing. Effectively share the knowledge that is useful to others. This week's full moon is felt strongly. You can't deny your roots. Family history, heritage, and issues involving parents begin to dominate. Otherwise you're making yourself seen in public more often. Being responsible requires admitting what you did wrong, and sharing the glory with others when things go right.

VIRGO To be a good loser is more important than being able to gloat over a victory. To be able to empathize with ones that have experienced loss is an important tool in comforting others. You may need to deal with other people's perceptions of perfection. The full moon hits you in your pocketbook, your mouth, your throat, and your values. Pheromones of spring are released in a potent way, ensuring a state of extra horniness. Letting go of desire leaves you open to more options.

SCORPIO It's time to hit the gym, stop eating junk food, and to adopt a healthier lifestyle for the spring. Be a team player and do what you can to work better with others. Seek a consensus when facing a challenge that affects your group. Tuesday afternoon through Thursday will be the easiest times for you to get things done and are your best days for travel. Causes that are based on kindness and charity are worth getting involved with this week.

CAPRICORN Personal and family needs take center stage for you. Fortunately for you, as good of a friend that you've been will help you find like minds and other people to share the journey with. You're trying to understand your family and build your own tribe at the same time. The full moon in your tenth house will demand some of your on-thespot wisdom. The pull between performing and withdrawing will be difficult. Trust good research and shared information.

PISCES You'll need to put on a new face for yourself this week. Begin the week with a knowledge that all of our relationships are not within our control. We simply need to accept people and situations for what they are. Your relationship to family is expanded as you make an effort to be more open-hearted The full moon rules birth, sex, death, and other people's property. Walk lightly and leave without a trace. Ask for help when you need it. Your financial outlook is good

to you.

TAURUS Pay attention to the bedroom and how you sleep. This is the dream time for you. This is also a time where it is easier to be unconscious than usual. People might do things in secret to trap you. Enter into a state of meditation and prayer. Pray blessings on your enemies. Learn to practice forgiveness, as it is a gift to yourself as well as to your transgressors. The full moon will address personal health issues. Do things for yourself to help you stay calm and relaxed.

Koz McKev is on You Tube, on cable 11 BCTV, is heard on 90.lFM KZFR Chico, and also available by appointment for personal horoscopes. Call (530)891-5147 or e-mail kozmickev@sunset.net

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