views of the lost
JANUARY 5 2015 — FREE
UPGRADE YOUR CLUB!
Is your club old or too antiquated? Come experience the Ultra Modern, World Class Service and Palatial Facilities at IMF!
NEW OUTDOOR HEALTH CLUB COMING TO CHICO!
OUTDOOR WEIGHT MACHINES
Chest Press, Lat Pull, Squats, Leg Press, Arms, Abs, Hammer Strength, etc.
OUTDOOR CARDIO MACHINES
Ellipticals, Steppers, Recumbent Bikes, Stationary Bikes, Cardio Walkers, etc.
PARKOUR AND PARCOURSE STATIONS
13 Stations, Vaulting Walls, Warped Wall, Balance Posts, Rings, Running Track, etc.
Upgrade Your Club SPECIAL - Get 2 Months FREE
and a FREE In Mo Gym Bag*
*
See Membership for details
Awarded Top Aquatics Facility in the World-2010 Best Fitness Facility in USA - 2009 Voted Chicoʼs Best 21 Years Running Open 24 Hours
Volume 21 Issue 19 January 5, 2015
For 20 years The Synthesis’ goal has remained to provide a forum for entertainment, music, humor, community awareness, opinions, and change.
This Week...
Publisher/Managing Editor Amy Sandoval amy@synthesis.net
Creative Director Tanner Ulsh graphics@synthesis.net
Entertainment Editor Arielle Mullen arielle@synthesis.net SynthesisWeekly.com/submit-yourevent/
Associate Editor Emiliano Garcia-Sarnoff emilianogs@gmail.com
Designers
Liz Watters, Mike Valdez graphics@synthesis.net
Deliveries Jennifer Foti
Contributing Writers
Zooey Mae, Bob Howard, Howl, Koz McKev, Tommy Diestel, Eli Schwartz, Mona Treme, Emiliano GarciaSarnoff, Jon Williams, Sean Galloway Alex O’Brien
Photography Jessica Sid Vincent Latham
Nerd
Dain Sandoval dain@synthesis.net
Accounting
Columns Letter From the Editor
Kyle Forrest Burns
PAGES 7-11
by Amy Olson
amy@synthesis.net
Grave Concerns By Sean Galloway
PAGE 5
Exotic Adventures in Smalltown, USA
by Emiliano Garcia-Sarnoff
PAGE 6
Immaculate Infection
by Bob Howard
Madbob@madbob.com
Karen Potter
Owner
PAGE 17
Productivity Wasted by Eli Schwartz
pwasted@synthesis.net
PAGE 17
Letters to Desmond by Zooey Mae
zooeymae@synthesis.net
PAGE 18
Ben Kirby
Director of Operations
PAGE 4
Unsolicited Advice by Anonymous
Bill Fishkin bill@synthesis.net
PAGE 19
The Synthesis is both owned and published by Apartment 8 Productions. All things published in these pages are the property of Apartment 8 Productions and may not be reproduced, copied or used in any other way, shape or form without the written consent of Apartment 8 Productions. One copy (maybe two) of the Synthesis is available free to residents in Butte, Tehama and Shasta counties. Anyone caught removing papers will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. All opinions expressed throughout the Synthesis are those of the author and are not necessarily the same opinions as Apartment 8 Productions and the Synthesis. The Synthesis welcomes, wants, and will even desperately beg for letters because we care what you think. We can be reached via snail mail at the Synthesis, 210 W. 6th St., Chico, California, 95928. Email letters@ synthesis.net. Please sign all of your letters with your real name, address and preferably a phone number. We may also edit your submission for content and space.
January Art Report
210 West 6th Street Chico Ca 95928 530.899.7708 editorial@synthesis.net
by Anthony Peyton Porter
PAGE 19
Supertime!
by Logan Kruidenier logankruidenier.tumblr.com
PAGE 20
Kozmik Debris by Koz McKev
kozmckev@sunset.net
PAGE 21
From The Edge
PAGE 22 FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO 3
PET OF THE WEEK
E l sa My name is Elsa! If you are looking for a running partner or for an incredibly loyal dog, that’s me! I have no problem sitting on your lap - I guess I forget I’m not a small dog!
2580 Fair Street Chico, CA 95928 (530) 343-7917 • buttehumane.org
Now Hear This SYNTHESIS WEEKLY PLAYLIST Joey Bada$$
Dust and Cobwebs – Part Two The first day was the hardest. My dad and I stood in the living room, seeing it all with new eyes. It was incredible how we had ever ignored this mess. The volume of chaos loomed in every direction, tangles of sentiment and necessities and utter nonsense, unfathomable for the blurred boundaries... I couldn’t fix on where to start, how to make sense of it. How had it come to this? How could it be changeable when it had been here for so long? Where would I put things when the space was so full? I love my dad, completely and sincerely and all my life, but the truth is I’ve always had a hard time connecting with him. Funny, that: loving someone so much in the mist of unspoken subtleties and small talk, never quite being comfortable enough to let the important words flow; being afraid of the emotions that might bubble up or of disrupting their place on the pedestal you’ve put them on, feeling so disconnected and helpless to change it. The tangle of sentiment and necessities and nonsense. But time is slipping away so quickly, I see that now.
Tanner Joey Bada$$ - “Curry Chicken Haley Lily Allen - “Who’d Have Known” Becca KBEZ Chicago - “Serial” Becca Schoolboy Q - “Man of the Year” Al Wiz Kahlifa - “On My Level” Alie Bon Iver - “Skinny Love” 4
SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM JANUARY 5 2015
We started small. I straightened bookshelves and boxed up her sewing. We talked about Mom and cried and apologized for crying. We walked through the house and surveyed the work that lay ahead, wondered how she could’ve seen this as not enough, and made plans to sort for donations and yard sales and garbage and recycling and keepsakes and records… We talked about how difficult it had been to sort the estates of his mom and eldest brother who he had lost over the two years before my mom died. He told me he
wants to prepare for his own death to spare us that. We looked at each other, and I nodded, choked on the bitter truth of it but felt grateful for his generosity. Death is cruel and we must welcome it, offer it a clean home and tea and a part in our conversations. It was an increment of progress, a barely noticeable change that only underlined how immense this effort was going to be. But still, it was like peeking through a hole in a wall to a secret garden; there was anguish in glimpsing an as yet unreachable world, but the hope on the other side was enough to make going on feel vital. The next time I came over we hung the pictures that had been stacked on the table and leaned against the hallway walls: Mom holding her first grandchild, Dad’s parents during the war, a portrait of my grandma... He had rearranged the living room a bit and decorated for Christmas; her chair finally shifted from the position it had held for so many years. We talked about happy times and holidays, and cried with a little less shame. I pulled open the blinds for the first time in ages and cleared some cobwebs from the window. The sun felt good in the room. We were moving forward, however gently.
Letter From the Editor by Amy Sandoval amy@synthesis.net
When God Closes a Door, He Opens a Window. When God Closes a Window, He Opens a Beer. This is “God Time.” God’s Pups are Yappin’. “So. You guys wanna hang out?” No, I didn’t want to hang out. I wanted to be in a bed, in a Home, because I felt like I was 150 fucking years old, standing in the concrete yard of a disheveled student co-op in Santa Barbara, face to face with this large child in a denim jacket with no shirt underneath. I could see his eyes were starting to go wide, too, with glassy, dark, dinner plate pupils that heralded the arrival of the ecstasy in his bloodstream. Denim Jacket was going to have a great night.
you go on?” Denim Jacket sauntered up and breathed in my ear. “Yeah, sure man. That sounds great.” “Ok, cool. Who are you again?” “Uh.” “Actually, I have to tell you something, man.” “Please do.”
This show was going to suck dick.
“I am way too high to introduce you.”
We had been on tour for the past week in Southern California, driving to and fro, to points far disparate, due to my perennially poor planning of every tour I’ve ever booked, and my white-hot burning love of sitting in traffic for as much of my life as possible. The drive from ten miles north of the Mexican border to Santa Barbara had been a breeze though, and by the time we arrived at what I quickly assessed was not a show, but a loose collection of about 50 extremely fucked up 20-year-olds, who had all—every single one of them—just ingested copious amounts MDMA, I was in high spirits. “Here’s something you may not know about me,” I gritted at my tour-mate, “I love driving in horrific, soul-rending traffic, and I love college parties where everyone is on drugs, because the music I play is known primarily for its Party Spirit.” Or, I would have said that to her, but her entire head and torso had suddenly been engulfed under the dress of a partier who had made the quick decision that my tour partner and she should share an intimate moment in the close confines of her blouse. She frantically emerged milliseconds later, wild-eyed, breathlessly excusing herself from the saucer-eyed girl. “I have my own clothes, thank you though!” she fumbled awkwardly, as she backed away.
“Great.”
This show was going to suck a Grocery Outlet bag full of cut-rate dicks well past their expiration date. “Do you want me to, uh, introduce you when
By the time we played, the ecstasy was in full and perfect effect. The entire party swayed to every note as One, like a stand of willows billowing in the summer wind—that is to say, a stand of semi-college-aged willows billowing in the candy-sweet euphoric wind of shitty amphetamines. They were Feeling us So Hard. This show was actually not going to suck the aforementioned dicks, it seemed, and had in fact turned into a beautiful, drug-addled Love Fest, with us as its Guests of Honor. I’ve never been hugged that many times after a show in my life, or told how incredible and life-changing my music is. They loved us, you guys. Well, they loved everything, and we happened to be inside the Love Blast Radius. So anyway, I guess the moral here is that you never know how a show is going to go until you play, so suck it up and play your songs, sweetheart. The moral here is also that if everyone at your show is on ecstasy, they’ll probably be pretty into whatever you do. Like, REALLY into it. So, you guys want to hang out?
Grave Concerns By Sean Galloway
PHOTOS BY VINCE LATHAM FACEBOOK.COM/VANGUARD.PHOTOGRAPHY
On The Town
FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO 5
No Resolution The alone, the once-loved, the tired of it all. This one’s for you.
The ones who know they deserve it. And the ones who do.
The ones who didn’t make champagne toasts. The ones who didn’t make resolutions, because “What’s the point? Already broken so many before.” You.
The gamblers, the addicts, the self-destroying. The ones who hate their bodies. The ugly souls. The soulless. The dreamless. The shattered. The imprisoned.
The ones who heard muted bass throbs, and sing-song laughter, and three two one through stucco walls. The ones who put their ears to the wall. The ones who didn’t. This one goes out to you.
The ones in the drive-through, the ones in the express checkout line with Ben & Jerry’s.
The terminally ill, the mentally diseased, the unlucky. You.
The ones who read, online, that a slug loaded into a small-gage shotgun was the most effective way. The ones who couldn’t do that to their mother.
The ones who thought if they could just turn their pain into art, then, maybe, maybe, it could be worth it. And the ones who realized there’s already a big sea of ignored art out there. That pain alone doesn’t make great art. The ungifted. The lazy. The undisciplined. The mediocre. The pretty good. Yeah, you. The ones who thought if maybe, maybe, they could just change the world. The ones who finally know they never will. The ones who realized only kindness matters. And knew that they were cruel. The ones who see no way out.
On The Town 6
SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
PHOTOS BY VINCE LATHAM FACEBOOK.COM/VANGUARD.PHOTOGRAPHY
JANUARY 5 2015
Exotic Adventures in Smalltown, USA
by Emiliano Garcia-Sarnoff
The abandoned children. The abandoned mothers. And the men that left.
Even you. Can I talk to you? And if I could, what should I say? That it gets better? When that’s only partially true? Or should I sit without speaking, by your side? So that you know you’re not alone? But company only makes you feel lonelier, doesn’t it? That’s why you’re alone. To not feel that way. So I’ll leave you alone. Still, this one’s for you.
sculpting in time
In this age of mass production and strip malls, the stark realism of Kyle Burns’ photography is a breath of fresh air. A heady current of melancholy and wistfulness runs through each image, with the embrace of decay and the promise of the passing of time. Originally from Magalia, California, Burns spent time in Fort Bragg following high school, which clearly helped to develop his strong aesthetic. Shooting primarily on film is something he believes has helped instill a greater sense of value in every frame captured. “If you’re paying to develop every frame, you really have to think whether you want to take each picture.” Burns’ work is slated to be featured in Visionarios Magazine, and can be seen at kyleforrestburns.com. For questions or commissions, Burns can be reached at kylefburns@gmail.com
FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO 7
8
SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM JANUARY 5 2015
rock house jam
pulga haunt
fault line
blue fox drizzle
maize maze
FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO 9
10
SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM JANUARY 5 2015
sloughing
the silverware has been compromised
cast out discourteously
butte creek pasture
perplexed
the barn by the sea
captain’s throne
the wizard’s cabin
graceless pygmy
life in desiccation
JANUA R Y 10T H - 12 T H
FOOTBALL DIVISION PLAYOFFS WATCH THE SHARKS P LAY THE BL UES O N T H U RSD AY AT 5PM
Food & Drink MONDAY TUESDAY
WATCH THE KINGS
WATCH ALL THE
GAMES HERE WATCH THE GAMES HERE 344 west 8th St | chico, ca | 530-343-2790
WEDNESDAY
THURSDAY FRIDAY
GREAT FOOD! LIVE MUSIC!
Mon-Fri Happy Hour 12-4pm $3 Sierra & Domestic Pints 6PM - close $1 Off Pitchers $5 Sailor Jerry DBLs All Day Every Day
Daily Happy Hour from 4-7pm PBR $2.25 Everyday!
Open Mic Comedy Night Every Other Week! Happy Hour 2-6pm M-F $1.00 off Sierra and Dom Pitchers $1.00 off PBR & Olympia Pool Rates Cut in 1/2!
$6.99 Pulled pork sand w/ fries or salad Wings 5 for $3 from halftime 'til they're gone! MONSTER MONDAY SPECIALS 6PM-CLOSE BEER $3.50/4.50/5.50/6.50 FREE Pool after 10PM
Come see our beautiful Patio! Happy Hour 4-6: Menu cocktails $1 off. Sierra Nevada Draft $3
Closed
$2.50 TUESDAY: Tacos, Corn Dogs, Fries or Tots, Chips & Salsa and Motzerells sticks only $2.50 ALL Day! Homemade Soup Daily $3 Sierra and Dom Pints $ 3.50 Kamis ALL DAY!
Daily Happy Hour from 4-7PM PBR $2.25 Everyday!
Two Dollar Tuesdays! $2 PBRs $2 Tacos! Happy Hour 2-6pm M-F $1.00 off Sierra and Dom Pitchers $1.00 off PBR and Olympia Cans Pool Rates Cut in 1/2!
Chicken Strip Sand only $6.99 before 6 PM TWO BUCK TUESDAY 6-11pm $2 Rolling Rock, Olympia & Single Wells $2.50 PBR, Coors and Double wells
Come see our beautiful Patio! Happy Hour 4-6: Menu cocktails $1 off. Sierra Nevada Draft $3 Live music 8-10
Closed
WING WEDNESDAY! $2 for 3 Wings w/ drink purchase 8pm-Close $4.50 Shooter of the Day $5.50 DBL Bacardi Cocktails $5 Sailor Jerry DBLs All Day Every Day
Daily Happy Hour from 4-7pm
Chicken Waffle Wed.! 8 ball Tourney 6pm sign-up Happy Hour 2-6pm M-F $1.00 off Sierra and Dom Pitchers $1.00 off PBR and Olympia Pool Rates Cut in 1/2!
Reuben Sand w/ fries or salad $6.99
Come see our beautiful Patio! Happy Hour 4-6: Wander Food Truck on the Patio 6pm
Closed
Mon-Fri Happy Hour 12-4pm $3 Sierra & Domestic Pints $3.50 Soccer moms $6 Dbl Roaring Vodka Homemade Soup Daily $5 Sailor Jerry DBLs All Day Every Day
Daily Happy Hour from 4-7pm PBR $2.25 Everyday!
Open Thanksgiving Evening
Baby Back Ribs $11.99 Philly Cheesesteak $7.99
Special Holiday Food & Drink Menu
6pm-Close $4.50 Grad teas $3.50 All beer pints FREE Pool after 10PM Coors Light Promo 6-8PM
Join us for Beers on our Patio Bar! Happy Hour from 4-6.
Open 9PM Bartender Specials $3 14oz. Slushies $4 20oz. Slushies
Mon-Fri Happy Hour 12-4pm $3 Sierra & Dom Pints Weekend Blast Off!! 8-close $6 Dom Draft & Jack or Jack Honey Shot
Daily Happy Hour from 4-7PM
Rock Out at The DL! Enjoy Live Music, Great Grub, and 10 9' foot tables Open @11am All ages untill 10pm
10 oz. Tri-Tip Steak w/ Fries or Salad & Garlic Bread $8.99 8pm-Close $4 J채ger $5.50 DBL Vodka Red Bull $2.50 Kamikaze shots FREE Pool after 10PM
We open at 12:00pm.
Find Out How you Can Play Pool
LESSONS, LEAGUES AND TOURNAMENTS!
Closed
Homemade Soup Daily
EAT. DRINK. PLAY. for Only $1/Day!
Closed. We need to drink, too!
SATURDAY SUNDAY
Tacotruck.biz and Beers on the Patio!
WE OPEN AT 12:00PM MIMOSAS WITH FRESH SQUEEZED OJ FOR $5 UNTIL 5PM.
Open at 11am $4.50 Bloody Mary $5.50 Absolut Peppar Bloody Marys Noon - 6PM $1 OFF SN & Dom Pitcher $5.50 DBL Bacardi Cocktails
Daily Happy Hour from 4-7pm Full Bar in Back Room Weds, Fri & Sat Nights! PBR $2.25 Everyday!
Rock Out at The DL! Enjoy Live Music, Great Grub, and 10 9' foot tables Open @11am All ages untill 10pm
Baby Back Ribs w/Salad, Fries & garlic bread $11.99 8pm-Close $4 Single/$6 Double Jack or Captain $3 Sierra Nevada Pints FREE Pool after 10pm
CLOSED
10am -2pm $5 Bottles of Champagne with entree $4.50 Bloody Mary $5.50 Absolut Peppar Bloody Marys
Daily Happy Hour from 4-7pm PBR $2.25 Everyday!
Free Pool with Purchase! 1.00 off Sierra and Dom Pitchers $1.00 off PBR and Olympia Cans
$5.49 Grad/Garden/ Turkey Burger w/fries or salad Bloodies $3 Well, $4 Call, $5 Top, $6 Goose Mimosas $2/flute, $5/pint $6 CHEAP Beer Pitchers FREE Pool after 10pm
F r i d ay 4 - 7 p m
HAPPY HOUR!
DANCE NIGHT DJ SPENNY & JEFF HOWSE 12
SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM JANUARY 5 2015
PLEASE DRINK RESPONSIBLY
HAPPY HOUR 4-7PM Beer Week Guinness cocktail specials Beer coozie giveaway at back bar
8pm-Close Pitcher Specials $6.50/$9.50/$13 FREE Pool after 10PM
Open 9pm Bartender Specials $3 14oz. Slushies $4 20oz. Slushies
Wednesday 9pm
319 Main Street (530) 892-2473
Full Bar in Back Room Weds, Fri & Sat Nights! PBR $2.25 Everyday!
THE PUB SCOUTS shirts 2 for $20 while supplies last
(530) 343-7718 337 Main St
s
Closed
Go DownLo
BEAR-E-OKE BURGER MADNESS! Bear Burger with fries or salad for $5.49. 11am-10pm.
Happy Hour 11-6pm select bottles & drafts $3
CLOSED
2 FOR 1 BURGERS ALL DAY !! MINORS WELCOME!
CLOSED
Closed
Go DownLo
BEAR WEAR! 1/2 off while wearing Bear Wear. MUG CLUB 4-10PM
HOCKEY & BASKETBALL $2.50 Select Sierra Nevada or Dom Drafts $2 Kamis -any flavor All Day
$3.50 Tea of the Day Bartender Specials Happy Hour 4-8pm
Happy Hour 4 - 7pm
Progressive Night:
$1.50 sliders and other cheap eats!
8 - 10pm $1 Dom, Wells & Sierra Nevada Pale Ale 10pm - Close: Up $0.25 per hour til closing
All 16 oz Teas or AMF $3 All Day
$3.50 Skyyy Vodka Cocktails $3.50 Tea of the Day Bartender Specials Happy Hour 4-8pm
1/2 OFF EVERYTHING!!!
4-6pm $1 Dom Drafts $2 SN Drafts & Wells $5 DBL Captain Buck Night 8-Close $1 wells, SN Pale Ale, Rolling Rock, Dom Draft $3 Black Butte $4 Vodka Redbull
Closed
Happy Hour 11-6pm $3 select bottles & drafts
9pm - Close $2 12oz Teas $3 20oz Teas $2 Well, Dom Bottles & bartender Specials $5 Vodka Red Bull
Happy Hour 4 -7pm
4-6pm $1 Dom Drafts $2 SN Drafts & Wells $5 DBL Captain 8pm - Close $4 151 Party punch 22oz. 8 - 9pm $1 Pale Ale & Dom.Draft Up $0.25/ hr until close
Closed
$3.50 Tea of the Day Bartender Specials Happy Hour 4-8pm
Happy Hour- 4-7pm $5 Fridays 4-8pm Most food items and pitchers of beer are $5
Power Hour 8 - 9pm 1/2 Off Liquor & Drafts (excludes pitchers) 9PM - Close $3 Domestic Drafts $9.75 Pitchers $5 Dbl Sugar Island Rum NO COVER
Open at 9pm
$3.50 Tea of the Day Bartender Specials Happy Hour 4-8pm
Hot "Dawgs" ALL DAY!
Mon. - Sat. 4pm - 6pm $1 Dom. draft, $2 SN Draft and Wells Power Hour 8 - 9pm $3 Domestic Drafts $9.75 Pitchers Patron Incendio Promo 10pm NO COVER
BOTTLE SERVICE Now Available! Call for New Yar’s Eve Reservations 898-9898
CLOSED
CLOSED
LATE NIGHT EATS! kitchen open until 1 AM
WACKY WEDNESDAYS (8pm - close ) DJ Party 4 different DJ’s $1 wells $2 calls $2 domestic bottles $6 pitchers of well drinks
Go DownLo
Happy Hour 4 - 8pm Ladies Night! 8pm - CLOSE $5 Pabst pitchers $2 shot board $4 Moscow Mules $3 Jamo and Ginger Buck Hour 10:30 - 11:30
Early Bird Special 9-10PM 1/2 off wells
Happy Hour 4 - 8pm
Early Bird Special 9-10pm 1/2 off wells
FIREBALL FRIDAYS!!! 8pm - Close $3 Fireball Shots $4 Big Teas $3 Coronas
TRIKE RACES! Post time @ 10pm. Win T-shirts and Bear Bucks. MUG CLUB 4-10PM LATE NIGHT EATS! kitchen open until 1 AM
1/2 OFF COVER before 10PM
BURGER MADNESS! Bear Burger with fries or salad for $5.49. 11am-10pm. MUG CLUB from 4-10PM
$2.50 16oz Wells All Day
LATE NIGHT EATS! kitchen open until 1 AM
Select Pints $3
LATE NIGHT EATS! kitchen open until 1 AM
$4 Sex On The Beach $4 Sierra Nevada Knightro ON TAP $1 Jello Shots 7-10pm $3 Fireball
LIVE MUSIC 1/2 OFF COVER before 10PM
Opening at 8pm for 80's NIGHT!! 8 pm - CLOSE $4 Sauza Margaritas $3 Kamis $3 Shocktop & VIP pint
Early Bird Special 9-10pm 1/2 off wells
KARAOKE "INDUSTRY NIGHT" 8 PM - CLOSE HALF OFF ALMOST EVERYTHING!(Except Red Bull and Premium Liquors) Specials All Day!
Go DownLo
LIVE MUSIC 1/2 OFF COVER before 10pm BURGER MADNESS! Bear Burger with fries or salad for $5.49. 11am-10pm. LATE NIGHT EATS! kitchen open until 1am
PLAYOFFS SATURDAY & SUNDAY
LATE NIGHT EATS! kitchen open until 1 AM Closed
DIVISION
$4 World Famous Bloody Joe $5 Premium bloodys your choice of vodka
Champagne Brunch 11am - 2pm $4 Champagne with entree
$1.50 sliders and other cheap eats!!
Champagne Brunch and SPORTS!
Closed
WATCH ALL
THE GAMES
134 Broadway St, Chico, CA | 530.893.5253
191 E. 2ND ST • 898-0630
BOTTLE SERVICE Now Available! Call for reservation 898-9898 Large selection of wines, sangrias and Martinis.
Open at 9pm Large selection of wines, sangrias and Martinis.
NEW THIS WEEK... TUESDAY $1 WELLS, DRAFTS, DOM. & SIERRA NEVADA 8-10PM PROGRESSIVE 10-2AM UP 25¢ PER HR. UNTIL CLOSE
WEDNESDAY $1 WELLS/ROLLING ROCK, PALE ALE & DOM. $3 BUTTE PORTER $4 VODKA REDBULL
THURSDAY $1 PALE ALE & DOM. UP 25¢ PER HR. 8PM-CLOSE $4 151 PARTY PUNCH $5 DBL CAPTAIN
no cover friday & sat 9-c lose sugar island rum $5 d bl.
FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO 13
This Week Only... Fine Dining in the Tradition of Southern Italy
SUBMIT YOUR EVENTS AT SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM/SUBMIT-YOUR-EVENT
BEST BETS IN ENTERTAINMENT
SICILIAN CAFÉ Tuesday, January 6th
Celebrating 30 years !
DEAD WINTER CARPENTERS
TRIVIA NIGHT
SIERRA NEVADA BIG ROOM
WOODSTOCKS PIZZA
Farm. Fresh. Italian.
Friday, January 9th
Saturday, January 10th
1020 Main Street Chico 530.345.2233 14
Wednesday, January 7th
SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM JANUARY 5 2015
Come prove your patriotic worth by absorbing some Americana through your earholes, and some Chico-brewed beer through your mouth hole. Alt-Country-Americana on a Tuesday night, what could be better? For real though, it’s Tuesday, what the heck else are you going to do? Stay at home with your cat and your crippling loneliness? No way, dude. Sierra Nevada Big Room, all ages, $15.
Force your mental inferiors to cower at your feet as you triumphantly bask in the glory of victory on Trivia Night. Make them rue the day they ever asserted falsehoods with any modicum of confidence. Drink the sweet nectar of the Gods and/or Budweiser, and feast on pizza (food of the Gods), whilst you strike fear into those hearts who might seek to challenge your throne of Trivia. All ages. 8pm.
LATIN DANCE NIGHT
FURLOUGH FRIDAYS, BANDMASTER RUCKUS, BULL MOOSE PARTY
PITA PIT
THE MALTESE
Feeling caliente? Shake your sillies out in the spiciest fashion with the Chico Salsa Connection. If there’s anything we learned in 2014, it’s that nothing can go wrong when you pair lots of food with vigorous dancing, so eat up. If nothing else you can have a few Lime-a-Ritas before heading over and yelling the lyrics to Harry Belafonte’s classic “Jump In The Line” through the glass. All ages, 8pm, free.
Well kids, a storm is upon us. And this weekend is one of the last you’ll get before it hits. The storm I speak of? Thousands of students, flooding back into town, crowding your favorite bars, restaurants, and downtown hangouts. Soak it up before it’s too late. We suggest attending this show at Maltese to do just that. Godspeed to us all. Winter is coming. 21+, 9pm.
Upcoming shows... This week at... CON BRIO
JAN
9
SAVING ABEL
JAN
18
NEW MASTERSOUNDS + GRAVY BRAIN
JAN
27
DOORS OPEN AT 9PM | HALF OFF DRINKS BEFORE 10PM | PRESALE NYE TICKETS AVAILABLE AT THE DOWNLO
Featured Events:
5 Monday
Anyplace, Chico, CA: Not shit to do, 8pm, all ages, free. Maybe check out the Ongoing Events calendar? Healing Light Meditation, what the hell is that? Your House, Chico, CA: “Well, fuck...I dunno... wanna rent a movie or something?” $3 (plus $12 in late fees), all ages, rated PG-XXX
6 Tuesday
Bidwell Presbyterian Church: Accepting Applications—New Habitat Home. 6-8pm, 18+ Sierra Nevada Big Room: Dead Winter Carpenters. 7:30pm, all ages, $15
7 Wednesday
Anyplace, Chico, CA: Not shit to do, all day long, all ages including the unborn and ghosts, free (are you really “free” if you don’t have any choices?). Well, I guess there’s Duffy’s Dance Night later, or Trivia Night at Woodstocks, or some other weekly shit in the Ongoing calendar. I guess that could be OK. NY, NY: Loooots of shit to do. Rent veeeery expensive. Beaches of Southern Thailand, where cousin Steve is currently vacationing: Stunning stretches of fine white sand, aquamarine water the temperature of a baby’s bath, $3 massages, warm sun, those coctails with the umbrellas in them, prolly like $4000 or something, but if you make as much as Steve does I guess that’s just like a drop in the bucket, all ages, not-gunna-happen-o’clock
8 Thursday
Anyplace, Chico, CA: Maybe take a walk or something? I hear it’s good for you. 7:32pm, all ages, free Your House, Chico, CA: “Well... fuck...have you every played
Cards Against Humanity? OK, well do you have any ideas? I mean, why do I always have to come up with everything?”
9 Friday
1078 Gallery: Jimmy Grant Ensemble. 7:30pm, all ages, $10 Lost On Main: Con Brio. 9pm Maltese: Supernaut, Aces Over Jacks, more TBA. 9pm, 21+ The Pita Pit: Latin Dance Night. 8pm-11pm, all ages, free The Tackle Box: All Fired Up!
10 Saturday
Maltese: Furlough Fridays, BandMaster Ruckus, Bull Moose Party. 9pm, 21+ The Tackle Box: Cherry Road Gang.
11 Sunday
Anyplace, Chico, CA: Drive around aimlessly, taking great pains to slow down and stare at anything remotely unusual, perhaps snapping a few pictures or taking a moment to text a friend about it. Pay no mind to the irritated drivers honking and revving their engines behind you, this is your time, enjoy it. Your House, Chico, CA: “I’m not religious or anything, but you wanna go to Church or something, brah? It’s that or these infomercials.” 3pm, $4 in guilty donations, all ages.
Ongoing Events:
5 Monday
100th Monkey: Healing Light Meditation, 7pm-8:15pm The Bear: Bear-E-oke! 9pm Chico Art Center: Salon d’Art, a holiday sale by local artists. 10am-4pm Chico Womens Club: Prenatal Yoga. 5:30-6:30pm DownLo: Open Mic Comedy Night. Free. Pool League. 3 player teams, signup with bartender. 7pm. All ages until 10pm Maltese: Open Mic Music, Signups at 8pm, starts at 9pm. Mug Night 7-11:30pm The Tackle Box: Latin Dance Classes. Free, 7-9pm University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm Yoga Center Of Chico: Sound Healing w. Emiliano (no relation). Breathwork, Meditation, Healing.
6 Tuesday
100th Monkey: Fusion Belly Dance mixed-level class, with BellySutra. $8/ class or $32/month. 6pm The Bear: Open Jam Night, featuring a different live band opening each week. Bring instruments, 9pm-1:30am Chico Art Center: Salon d’Art, a holiday sale by local artists. 10am-4pm Chico Women’s Club: Yoga. 9-10am. Afro Carribean Dance. $10/class or $35/mo. 5:50-7pm. Crazy Horse Saloon: All Request Karaoke. 21+ DownLo: Game night. All ages until 10pm Holiday Inn Bar: Salsa Lessons, 7-10pm LaSalles: ’90s night. 21+ Panama Bar: Tropical Tuesdays ft. Mack Morris & DJ2K. 10pm Studio Inn Lounge: Karaoke. 8:30pm1am The Tackle Box: Line Dance Lessons, 6:30pm-7:30pm. Karaoke, 9pm-1am, 21+ University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm Woodstocks: Trivia Challenge. Call at 4pm to reserve a table. Starts 6:30pm
7 Wednesday
The Bear: Trike Races. Post time 10pm Chico Art Center: Salon d’Art, a holiday sale by local artists. 10am-4pm
Chico Women’s Club: Afro Brazilian Dance. 5:30-7pm DownLo: Wednesday night jazz. 8 Ball Tournament, signups 6pm, starts 7pm Duffys: Dance Night! DJ Spenny, Lois, and Jeff Howse. $1, 9pm Farm Star Pizza: Live Jazz with Carey Robinson and Friends. 6pm-8pm The Graduate: Free Pool after 10pm The Maltese: Friends With Vinyl! Bring your vinyl and share up to 3 songs/12 minutes on the turntable. 9pm-1am The Tackle Box: Swing Dance classes. Free, 5:30-7:30pm. Swing Dance classes. Free, 7:30-9:30pm. Open Mic, 9:30pm12am University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm Woodstocks: Trivia Night plus Happy Hour. call at 4pm to reserve a table. Starts at 8pm
8 Thursday
The Beach: Live DJ, no cover, 9pm Chico Art Center: Salon d’Art, a holiday sale by local artists. 10am-4pm DownLo: Live Jazz. 8-11pm. All ages until 10pm The Graduate: Free Pool after 10pm Has Beans Downtown: Open Mic Night. 7-10pm. Signups start at 6pm Holiday Inn Bar: Karaoke. 8pm-midnight LaSalles: Free live music on the patio. 6-9pm Maltese: Karaoke. 9pm-close Panama Bar: Buck night and DJ Eclectic & guests on the patio. 9pm Pleasant Valley Rec Center: CARD World Dance Classes. 6-7pm/youth 1017, 7-8:30pm/adults. $20/4classes Quackers: Karaoke night with Andy. 9pm-1am Tackle Box: Karaoke with DJ Andy. 9pm1am, 21+ University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm Woodstocks: Open Mic Night Yoga Center Of Chico: Ecstatic Dance with Clay Olson. 7:30-9:30pm
9 Friday
Bogg, happy hour. 10am-2pm Chico Art Center: Salon d’Art, a holiday sale by local artists. 10am-4pm Chico Creek Dance Center: Chico international folk dance club. 7:30pm, $2 DownLo: ½ off pool. All ages until 10pm. Live Music, 8pm Duffys: Pub Scouts - Happy Hour. 4-7pm The Graduate: Free Pool after 10pm Holiday Inn Bar: DJ Dance Party. 8pmmidnight LaSalles: Open Mic night on the patio. 6-9pm Maltese: Happy hour with live jazz by Bogg. 5-7pm. LGBTQ+ Dance Party. 9pm Panama Bar: Jigga Julee, DJ Mah on the patio. 9pm Peeking: BassMint. Weekly electronic dance party. $1-$5. 9:30pm Tackle Box: Karaoke with DJ Andy. 9pm1am, 21+ Quackers: Live DJ. 9pm Sultan’s Bistro: Bellydance Performance. 6:30-7:30pm University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm
10 Saturday
The Beach: Live DJ, 9pm DownLo: 9 Ball tournament. Signups at noon, starts at 1pm. All ages until 10pm The Graduate: Free Pool after 10pm Holiday Inn Bar: DJ Dancing. 70s and 80s music. The Molly Gunn’s Revival! 8pm-midnight LaSalles: 80’s Night. 8pm-close Panama Bar: DJ Eclectic on the patio. 9pm Tackle Box: Karaoke. 8:30pm-midnight, 21+ University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm
11 Sunday
Dorothy Johnson Center: Soul Shake Dance Church. Free-style dance wave, $8$15 sliding scale. 10am-12:30pm DownLo: Free Pool, 1 hour with every $8 purchase. All ages until 10pm LaSalles: Karaoke. 9pm Maltese: Live Jazz 4-7pm. Tackle Box: Karaoke, 8pm
The Beach: Live DJ, 9pm Cafe Coda: Friday Morning Jazz with
FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO 15
On The Town 16
PHOTOS BY JESSICA SID
SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM JANUARY 5 2015
Same as it Never Was RIGHT NOW, RIGHT THIS VERY SECOND, IS ABSOLUTELY THE BEST TIME TO BE ALIVE. ANYONE WHO TELLS YOU OTHERWISE IS DELUDED OR LYING. Congratulations are in Order If you are reading this then I say to you “congratulations!” We’ve made it through another one. That may not mean so much to you youngsters, but for those of us getting on up there in years this is no small feat, and nothing to take for granted. Nostalgia A lot of us old-timers will try and tell you that things were better “back then.” Well of course things were better for us back then—we were young, mentally acute, better looking than we are now. We were going out, seeing shows, and getting laid. Then we age, the body breaks down in some places and expands uncontrollably in others. Our skin sags and our looks fade. We look back and remember our youth with tremendous fondness—of course always emphasizing the good times and omitting the petty dramas and periods of immense boredom. That’s what nostalgia is: a pair of rose tinted glasses that we turn on the past. Same as it never was. Right now, right this very second, is absolutely the best time to be alive. Don’t let anybody tell you any differently. Greenhouse Skinning The plunging mercury afforded as good an impetus as any to reskin our small greenhouse, and I’ve been spending the last few days peeling off the old degraded plastic and stapling up newer, more intact material. We store dwarf lemon trees in there over the winter—the fruit can’t handle a hard freeze. The greenhouse, although unheated, keeps in just enough heat to prevent the freeze from damaging the lemons. There are a few plants you can successfully sow during the colder winter months. I’ve
got a couple raised beds of onions and garlic just started out in the garden. I had to utilize the raised beds because of gophers, who apparently can’t get enough of the sweet onions I plant. In the past those pesky rodents have absolutely decimated my onion crops. Some gardeners will tell you garlic wards off gophers, but I haven’t found this to be the case. As far as I can tell almost nothing wards off gophers. The cats help a little bit. Confessions of a Wannabe Vegan I’m inclined to sympathize with the vegan philosophy—the idea that animals should not be harmed for the purposes of conveniencing human-kind. But I am also a big fan of fly strips, gophers can take a flying leap, and I once ran over a raccoon in my old Ford Escort station wagon while driving down Road Z in the middle of the night, and I didn’t feel an ounce of remorse about it. RoundUp Ready! I’m reading a report linking the use of Glyphosate herbicides, like RoundUp, with rising rates of autism. When I look out my window I see my neighbor spraying RoundUp on his rocks. I don’t know if RoundUp causes autism or not—a lot of these “natural medicine” websites have a strong tendency to merge fact and fiction—but I know spraying RoundUp on your rocks won’t stop weed growth. Glyphosate herbicides work by stopping photosynthesis, meaning you have to spray it on the plants leaves for it to work effectively. There are non-chemical “preemergents” that can be used to keep weed seeds from germinating.
Immaculate Infection
by Bob Howard
Madbob@madbob.com
Lisa THE PAINFUL RPG I spotted Lisa randomly, the day it came out, and was intrigued enough to try it. I had never heard of it prior, or its Kickstarter, and a more thorough search has revealed little coverage or evidence it exists. I did not expect a quirky little RPG, inspired by the 1994 Japanese classic Earthbound, to be much more than a few laughs and some grinding. All the same, my curiosity was piqued by this strange game, and I purchased it. I’m very glad I did. Lisa is set in a bizarre post-apocalyptic world, where reality has softened a bit, strange creatures roam the earth, drug addiction is rampant, and most bizarrely of all: there are no women. The sweat and testosterone soaked landscape is often played for laughs, with crews of grunting bodybuilders wearing spiked football pads, dirty magazines for currency, and mid-life crises, yet a great many of the surviving men are really just losers. Hilarious, sad, losers. The game itself is often a question of learning to lose the right way. The party is constantly tricked, assaulted, poisoned, or just generally screwed over. Party members can (easily) die permanently, often leaving the group underpowered and underleveled, spending all your money on healing items that barely help. I suggest you remember to save. Lisa’s creator, a professional martial artist, called his game “The Painful RPG.” It is exactly that. Its turn-based JRPG-style battles are classic and yet unconventional, with radically different party members and moves like “Puke” and “Drink,” and status conditions like “Depressed” and “Weird.” Most of its NPCs are bizarre, hilarious, and expendable, yet the core characters are fraught with emotion, perhaps none more so than the long-
suffering, stoic protagonist, whose journey is hounded by enemies, monsters, and horrific hallucinations. Lisa treads a very fine line between hilarity, horror, and sheer emotional pain. Let me ask you: is a giant mutant trapped inside a mascot costume, spewing blood and dancing around, hilarious or horrifying? Is a party member whose attacks consist of drunkenly falling over and crying hilarious, or sad? Is being a failure funny, or is it the most terrifying thing you can think of? For all its butt jokes, flesh monsters, and silly companions, Lisa has a very real emotional impact to it, and as I went deeper into the game, I became progressively more uncomfortable, increasingly wishing I could stop playing so I wouldn’t have to see what happens next. I mean this, of course, in the best way possible. Lisa is an almost emotionally abusive game, forcing us to look and play a story unfolding that grows darker and more difficult with every step. Although it came out at the very end of the year, Lisa is one my favorite games of 2014. It’s not very long, but it’s not very easy, either. It is a substantial and dark game, filled with laughter and sadness. I recommend it thoroughly to anyone who plays RPGs regularly, and recommend it cautiously to those who don’t, as it’s not an easy or painless experience. The pain and the humor are proof that it’s a real winner.
Productivity Wasted by Eli Schwartz
pwasted@synthesis.net
FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO 17
Crappy New Year: Please Pass The Benadryl
The year 2015 will mark eight years since I first started at Synthesis Weekly. With a column each week, that means I’ve written 416 columns. At 500 words a pop, that’s about 208,000 words I’ve written (not including any features, reviews or scene reports). Hot damn that’s a lot of drivel. High points include interviewing Nicole J. Georges (author of Calling Dr. Laura), being in a (total and utter bullshit) war of words with the author of the blog Has Boobs, Reads Comics over her dumb blog name, and (as a result of fixing a glitch in the Synthesis server), finding some nice emails from readers who haven’t yet been put off by my constant need to complain. Low points include anytime I’m banging my head against a wall at a loss for what to write for the week, and being involved in a (total and utter bullshit) war of words with the author of the blog Has Boobs, Reads Comics over her dumb blog name. [On further reflection from that incident, I stand by my assertions that that blog title does more to needlessly separate genders within the comic book reading community than anything else, but I wish I’d explained that more eloquently at the time, and that I’d known she was in a wheelchair before saying I wanted to punch her boob]. It’s not what I would name a blog, but who cares. If everything was created with me in mind, things would be a lot more unvaried. (“Pony” by Ginuwine would play on the radio on a loop, and dogs would be genetically modified to stay in puppy-form forever). 18
SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM JANUARY 5 2015
For the year to come, my hopes are high. If all goes well, I’ll graduate in May, finally fulfilling the rite of passage one usually accomplishes at a much younger age. I then plan on trying to accumulate enough money to relocate out of Chico, where you guys will finally, finally be rid of me! Until then, I look forward to continuing to treat this column like my weekly diary, where I wax lyrical about the mystery of the dog shit that continues to replicate outside my door every single day, and my ever-growing list of things I’m allergic to. Life is a highway, and I’m gonna ride it all night long, because I can’t sleep, and I think I’m allergic to the fabric content in this pillowcase. Please pass the Benadryl. All-in-all, 2014 was a good year. If I may get a little metaphorical for a moment, the positive occurrences in 2014 were a lot like that dog shit outside my door. Just when I thought I had the patterns figured out, life threw me a curveball-left-of-the-doormat shit pile, and I stepped right in it. Thankfully though, a solution is never more than a hop, skip, and a hose away. You know what? I don’t even know what I’m saying anymore. I think 416 columns might be my limit. I’m hitting a wall. Namaste, you guys. Crappy New Year.
Letters to Desmond by Zooey Mae
zooeymae@synthesis.net
January Art Report BY MICHELE FRENCH CAPTAINJACKAFTON@HOTMAIL.COM
The Song of a Green Apron Welcome to Unsolicited Advice, an open column space for anyone who wants to tell someone, or everyone, what’s what. Submit your 500 words to editorial@synthesis.net
Here lies the forthright words of an ex barista. No Foam Oh those dreaded, fateful words. I can already tell just by those two words what you shall say next, “nonfat” perhaps, “I hate you” perhaps. Oh yes, “of course we can”, I say gritting my teeth into an artificial smile. If only you knew that foam is a beautiful thing, and that no, I cannot avoid creating it while steaming your 185° organic soy milk with whipped cream. *le sigh Extra Caramel The two words that create an unstoppable twitching under my sleep-laden eye. Oh yes, let me pour that sugar coma into your cup and add some diabetes. As I pour this caramel I feel the shooting pains of developing carpal tunnel. Oh yes, let me give you extra, extra. And I will smile at you with dismay as you stare at your iPhone vacantly ignoring me while I call your name. Only to ask five seconds later, “Is this my drink?” Pour Over “Oh dear lord, what did you just say?” I think to myself as I look at you like a scared animal. No, oh this cannot be. “If you wanted campfire coffee with an 85 percent chance of grounds why don’t you just go to 711,” I mutter with a
smile. Black Coffee Thou art a breath of fresh air filled with the light scent of rain and fallen leaves, I won’t even charge you for a refill. You want an add shot? I probably won’t charge you for that either. Cappuccino Oh, you delicate soul you. Would you like me to pour the creamy foam of the gods into your caramelly sultry espresso shots? Oh, I will steam that milk to a perfect ratio of foam and even pull your shots ristretto for this. For here cup you say? Reading Bukowski? My number’s on the sleeve. Soy Chai You hippie you, I know how you like it. No water with some thick foam. Add shot? Oh yeah you are a dirty hippie. “I like your crystal necklace,” I tell you pretty genuinely. Aahh, real smiles are to die for. “That’s why I love this job,” I think to myself as I take your 100 dollar bill that I don’t have the change for. With these final words remember, only by tipping will you be forgiven for your ridiculous beverage.
Unsolicited Advice by Americano Grande
By the time you read this, Stories Three at the 1078 will be over. Too bad, because the 1078 always has the most interesting, cutting edge shows in Chico. As a handout for the show stated, “Stories One (December 2012) brought together five artists for a group show at the 1078… Stories Two (December 2013) brought together five different artists… For Stories Three, the 1078 reunites the artists from One… [The artists] were given this prompt… Choose three different days in 2014 to document with text and images...” The resulting art varied widely and, sometimes, didn’t seem to closely reflect the prompt given. The artists featured were Ellen Akimoto, Haley Hughes, Trevor Lalaguna, Sienna Orlando Lalaguna and Brad Thiele. The show opened on December 4 and closed on January 3. The artists talked a bit about their lives and circumstances in a tangential booklet that accompanied the show. For instance, the Lalagunas talked about their adorable baby (and he is). Sienna Orlando Lalaguna presented a group of ceramics which were well-made and whimsical. A selection of some of her work was displayed on a shelf, pieces that were roughly pear-shaped and bore the titles, “The Folkin,” “The Rise,” “The Vested,” “The Traveler,” and “The Miner.” Trevor Lalaguna’s works in the show consisted of a small installation and 18 ink on paper drawings which, on the surface, seemed cartoonish, but were actually quite thought provoking on closer inspection. “Face Off” depicted a man without a face standing in front of a bathroom mirror. He has no face and, therefore, no expression, but he does seem to be holding his head in anguish. I try to be extremely open-minded and I’m not easily shocked, but I found myself offended at one of Haley Hughes works, an oil titled “Woman, Panther, Pilates Ball.” The colors, the technique, the image—everything in this work, which showed a woman being raped by a large black cat—was unpleasantly raw. “Paradise,” another oil by Hughes, a landscape, featured soft colors and flowing
shapes to create an otherworldly scene of hills with a stream flowing thickly through the center, spreading at the bottom like something seminal. When I knew Brad Thiele he was always slightly irreverent. He now lives in New York City, and he’s kept his puckish sense of humor. His art now concentrates on the printed word which was clearly seen in the seven inkjet prints he presented in the show 344 times, “...where every instance of ‘New York’ and its abbreviation ‘NY’ is cut out from a single Monday edition of the New York Times and taped-down in order of appearance totaling 344.” Ken Morrow told us “girls” once in one of his classes that, “...women like to do things the hard way…” when one of our number was meticulously painting small flowers on a female figure’s skirt. Maybe things have been reversed over the years. Ellen Akimoto’s 14 prints and drawings were gentle, serene and elusive. An acrylic on woodcut print “Table in this Room,” like many of her others, is fraught with stillness and a strange sort of tension. What has happened in this room where the table is, or what may happen soon? Her silent, empty rooms remind me somewhat of Giorgio de Chirico’s deserted, shadowed streets. A couple of shows that will be open for a few more days are holiday shows at the Chico Art Center and Avenue 9. Fond Farewell and Holiday Show at Avenue 9 will be in place until January 10 and features art by a number of artists who have displayed work at the gallery throughout the years of its existence. The artwork, handmade clothing and jewelry is all on sale. This is their next to last show. The gallery is located at 180 E. 9th Ave. and is open 12pm to 5pm Wednesday through Saturday. Salon d’ Art at the Art Center has original art by a variety of artists plus clothing, jewelry, and small household furnishings. This show will be open until January 9. The Center is open daily 12pm to 4pm and is at 450 Orange St.
FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO 19
SUPERCLEAN Pros High Performance Detail Cleaners Residential and Commercial Cleaning Services! • Apartment
• Business
• Home
• Warehouse
• Office
• and more!
Cost Effective, Customer Friendly Cleaning Service Fees FREE estimates with walk- through site inspection (530)774-1175 http://supercleanpros.webs.com
“We clean to YOUR specifications!”
GREAT SHORT STORIES Lotus Land, written by local writer William Wong Foey Local writer William Wong Foey author of best selling novel: Winter Melon releases his new book Lotus Land, a short story collection of bold and amazing stories of desire, despair, courage, and redemption. Available at Lyon’s Book Store at 135 Main (Chico) and in paperback & e-book at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, iTunes, & Direct Music Cafe. A special thanks to all the people who purchased my debut novel: Winter Melon. ADVERTISMENT 20
SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
JANUARY 5 2015
by logan kruidenier logankruidenier.tumblr.com
January 5, 2015 By Koz McKev Aries
Taurus
Gemini
Cancer
Leo
Virgo
The week begins with the emotionally potent remnants of the full moon in your fourth house. Venus, Mercury, and Mars in the eleventh house are activating your social life. You enjoy being in groups more than usual. You have some of your best ideas at the workplace. You may even find yourself in the public eye a little more often. From Tuesday through Thursday morning creative energy, self expression and having fun feel more like the order of the day. The weekend looks good for charitable causes, working out, as well as negotiations and romance.
Condemnation is easier than investigation. Get to know a subject or a person before passing judgment. This is your time to ask questions and to dig deeper. Explore unknown territory. Take the high road when dealing with people less fortunate than you. From late afternoon Thursday through Saturday the moon will be in your fifth house of creative expression and play. You are luckier than usual during this period. Open your heart and indulge in the things that matter most to you. Sunday is good for working out, helping others, and improving your health.
Appreciate the things that other people do for you. Let go of wishing that so and so would behave differently. Sometimes you end up needing help. Don’t be too proud. Let go and let some sense of love take over. Having Mercury, Mars, and Venus in your ninth house makes you luckier than usual. Your best day for creative pursuits is likely to be Sunday. The mysteries of life, death, and sex lay at your feet. It can be wise to acknowledge danger. Be present with the task of creating solutions, as well as being open to other people’s solutions.
Monday begins strong with the moon in your first house. The after-effects of the full moon are felt strongly by you. During Tuesday through early Thursday it’s about values, possessions and your own sense of security. Thursday evening through Saturday is good for gathering information and hanging out with friends. Sunday is your go-to day for hanging out at home or being with family. There is an overtone of romance, contracts and agreements throughout the week. You are learning to be more diplomatic. Harmony is achieved with little effort.
When the pressure is on it helps to take a deep breath. You’ll be pacing yourself, getting organized, and working on being healthy. The moon will be in Leo Tuesday through early afternoon Thursday. Make good karma by helping others. A bit of romance could be in the picture. In general, you can be more open to love and partnership. The weekend presents some money making opportunities. The good fortune of Jupiter is still with you. Take the higher road and the enlightened path. Creative projects worth taking on deserve your commitment.
A healthy self love leads to a love of others. Your services are needed, and you perform them so well. Put your heart into what you do and the rest will follow. The most conscious time for you is while the moon is in Virgo, from 2:58pm Thursday through Saturday. A great earth consciousness is in the air during this time. Be creative. Put more energy into things that give you joy. Sunday looks good for making money and testing your values. Stay focused on love, playfulness, and the ability to express yourself in a creative way.
Libra
Scorpio
Sagittarius
Capricorn
Aquarius
Pisces
Your domestic life and your foundation are in focus this week. Parents, Grandparents, and ancestors all play a part. Where you have been determines where you are going, to some extent. Your starting point to relating more to others is here. Love affairs could be part of this cycle, with Venus transiting your fifth house. You’ll be using your imagination to come up with more creative ideas. Seek guidance and go with the most intelligent ideas. It’s probably best to lay low over the weekend. Catch up on your sleep.
This week has you performing and socializing. The possibility of travel is also in the forecast. This is a good time to focus on siblings, long time friends, and neighbors. Be a better communicator. Love where you live and live where you love. Work on career plans. Take action on issues that involve your family. Be ready to inspire others. Seek intelligent solutions to everyday problems. Monday stands to be your luckiest day this week. The weekend looks good for meeting new people, as well as for making plans for the future.
This time of year is mostly a test of your values. There are new opportunities for you to make money and increase your income. You might even be more obsessed with food than usual. You are likely to be curious about new recipes and seasonings. You become more of a chatterbox as Mercury and Venus transit your third house. You are curious about all kinds of information coming out. Tuesday through Thursday afternoon is good for travel and learning advanced subjects. The weekend looks good for displaying your talents and skills.
Up your skills. Take whatever it is that you do to the next level. This is a time to focus on your career and ways to improve it. Money is coming in. Be practical with your resources. Be smart with your possessions. The beginning of the week is good for romance and negotiations. The weekend looks good for travel. This is also a good time for risk-taking. You act out consciously and independently. It’s time to blaze a trail that hasn’t been blazed before. Sunday may contain some news concerning your career and public life.
A few planets are gathered in your first house. Mars, Mercury, and Venus are pumping up the Aquarian vibe. Your ability to take action, be loving and creative, as well as demonstrate intellectual capabilities is enhanced. This is a time of karma and secrets. Pay attention to your dreams and to the messages that they contain. Help those who are isolated, especially those in rest homes and prisons. Over the weekend your psychic feelers will be activated. Sunday has you thinking about gratitude and higher principles for living.
Not everyone is on the same page with you. This is fine, since you know who your real friends are these days. You are good at gathering people together. Continue to work toward perfecting your services. Monday will carry over the full moon vibe of creativity and love. Tuesday through Thursday afternoon you’ll be focused on work, charitable causes and health issues. The weekend looks good for romance, contracts and diplomacy. Learn to find good qualities in people who you may have differences with. Getting along requires work.
Koz McKev is on YouTube, on cable 11 BCTV and is heard on 90.1FM KZFR Chico. Also available by appointment for personal horoscopes call (530)891-5147 or e-mail kozmickev@sunset.net
FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO 21
Christmas I spent Christmas with my son’s lover’s parents, good people I’d seen a couple of times before and didn’t know well. It was my first Christmas celebration since Janice died. The first two Christmases were just two days. I had heard that when one loses a spouse the holidays are especially hard to take, but they hadn’t been for me. I couldn’t deny her not being here to celebrate; I could deny the celebration, though, so I did.
for the house—my mother would be proud— but I hadn’t known what to expect and wisely didn’t ask, so I had no individual gifts for anybody, and I felt badly about it. Janice would have hand-made cards to go with the gifts she’d have thought to bring.
I hardly knew Jim and Cam, but I had a feeling that their house was bound to be Christmassy, and boy, was it ever. Christmas was everywhere, from the lighted candy canes on the driveway gate and the little Christmas tchotchkes pretty much all over, to the actually creepy zombie Santa on the porch. I had a good time, mostly. Deanne, Jim’s sister, and her husband, Paul, were there, and old siblings are always interesting to me, not being one myself. I’m mostly used to being by myself, living lonely if not actually alone. I’m used to going places by myself—to the Co-op or the Post Office or the Pageant—and I thought I’d be fine. I can do odd-man-out like a champ. I never thought about not having done Christmas without her, though. I knew I’d done it before, only Christmas in my room watching YouTube is a far cry from Christmas in the midst of a goddamn bunch of warm, loving, good-hearted pairs of mated humans. I was the only freelancer, other than a cat and four dogs.
So I sat there miserably opening thoughtful token after thoughtful token, full of selfloathing and probably self-pity and trying not to blubber. I didn’t blubber, either, not in front of anybody, and that’ll have to do. I drank some brandy and ate some of everything in sight until I began to waddle. That’s how I know it’s time to stop. I succumbed to a parlor game that didn’t turn out to be awful, and dodged a game of Chicken Foot, and that worked out fine. Lots of talk, lots of laughing. Nobody got drunk, nobody got punched, nobody cried but me. Here’s something notable: Without collaboration of any sort, my son and I brought the same thing for a house gift. I learned a couple of jokes. Jim had two or three thousand, I bet, but I remember only a couple, both of them no doubt offensive to a group or two, and each of which, while not at all funny in itself, inexplicably caused me to laugh. I’m gonna tell you one. If you think of yourself as at all sensitive or civilized, you should probably stop here. There’s a new shelter in town—Tempura House, for lightly battered women. I warned you.
They did that thing that Janice’s family had done, and so the Porters did too, where everybody sits around and opens their presents together. I had brought something
From The Edge
by Anthony Peyton Porter A@anthonypeytonporter.com
22
SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM JANUARY 5 2015