Synthesis Weekly – February 16, 2015

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VOLUME 21 ISSUE 25 Febuary 16, 2015 For 20 years The Synthesis’ goal has remained to provide a forum for entertainment, music, humor, community awareness, opinions, and change. PUBLISHER/ EDITOR IN CHIEF Amy Sandoval amy@synthesis.net

THIS W E E K

C OLUMNS

Purple Rain

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LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

by Amy Sandoval

LEAD DESIGNER

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Tanner Ulsh graphics@synthesis.net

GRAVE CONCERNS

ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR

by Sean Galloway

Arielle Mullen arielle@synthesis.net SynthesisWeekly.com/submit-yourevent/

PAGE 5 PRODUCTIVITY WASTED

ASSOCIATE EDITOR Emiliano Garcia-Sarnoff emilianogs@gmail.com

by Eli Schwartz

pwasted@synthesis.net

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DESIGNERS

Liz Watters, Mike Valdez graphics@synthesis.net

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DELIVERIES

by Sylvia Bowersox

Jennifer Foti

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS

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Zooey Mae, Bob Howard, Howl, Koz McKev, Tommy Diestel, Eli Schwartz, Emiliano Garcia-Sarnoff, Jon Williams, Sean Galloway, Alex O’Brien

HOWL howlmovesmountains.tumblr.com

PHOTOGRAPHY Jessica Sid Vincent Latham

NERD

Dain Sandoval dain@synthesis.net

ACCOUNTING

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Let’s Talk About Weed?

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IMMACULATE INFECTION

by Bob Howard

Madbob@madbob.com

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Ben Kirby

DIRECTOR OF OPERATIONS

UNSOLICITED ADVICE

Karen Potter

OWNER

Bill Fishkin bill@synthesis.net The Synthesis is both owned and published by Apartment 8 Productions. All things published in these pages are the property of Apartment 8 Productions and may not be reproduced, copied or used in any other way, shape or form without the written consent of Apartment 8 Productions. One copy (maybe two) of the Synthesis is available free to residents in Butte, Tehama and Shasta counties. Anyone caught removing papers will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. All opinions expressed throughout the Synthesis are those of the author and are not necessarily the same opinions as Apartment 8 Productions and the Synthesis. The Synthesis welcomes, wants, and will even desperately beg for letters because we care what you think. We can be reached via snail mail at the Synthesis, 210 W. 6th St., Chico, California, 95928. Email letters@ synthesis.net. Please sign all of your letters with your real name, address and preferably a phone number. We may also edit your submission for content and space.

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...and I said “even though the bathrooms are closed?” And he said “eeennnhhh.”

Scene Report PAGE 19 SUPERTIME!

by Logan Kruidenier logankruidenier.tumblr.com

PAGE 20 KOZMIK DEBRIS

by Koz McKev

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PAGE 21 WORD SEARCH!

PAGE 22 FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO

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LE T T E R F R O M T H E E DI TO R

PET OF THE WEEK

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NOW HEA R THI S

TANN ER MIK E

Drake — “No Tellin’”

BE C CA

Drake — “Star67”

H A LEY

Drake — “Legend”

DA N N Y LI Z DI N A H AL M ICH ELLE 4

Drake — “6PM in New York”

Ducktails — “Under Cover” Novo Amor & Ed Tullett — “Faux” Ewan Robertson — “King of Rome” Marvin Gaye — “I’m Yours, You’re Mine” Frank Ocean — “Pyramids”

SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM

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Focus on the Future A few years ago I got a really good deal on this car: $1000 for a reliable little Ford Focus hatchback with good gas mileage—which rattles like Marley’s ghost, has no air conditioning (the heater works, but only on full blast), and accumulates puddles of water on the floorboards after a heavy rain. In the wet season, the air inside hangs muggy and smells like the previous owner’s dog for weeks on end; ancient coffee stains are revived by the moisture, and if I’m not careful to dry and air it out it right away mold will start to grow. The radio shuts off whenever I hit a pothole and sometimes stays off for weeks, springing back to life with a burst of noise for no discernable reason. In two unrelated incidents the side mirrors were broken off, and are now held on by wood screws (for a while they were taped on with artfully applied black and silver duct tape—tweakers used to compliment me all the time). It reminds me of darker days, when I was isolated, when my home life was unstable. The point when I got the car was the worst of all. My ex and I were going through a really stressful move and had been

fighting a lot. Then he got in an accident that totaled our old car. Then my favorite cat went missing and I was desperate to find her, but never did. The Focus was affordable, but I had never driven stick and had to learn by doing in the middle of the chaos. If I had to stop on a hill (which there are a lot of in Sonoma), I would panic when it rolled back, let off the clutch too quickly and stall the engine, blocking traffic. I started having panic attacks, insomnia, nightmares… the car was a tangible representation of the underlying theme: the frustration of being helpless. Ugh, such an awful time. Things have changed. I can afford a better car, a nice car even, but for some reason I’ve committed myself to driving this sour tin can into the ground. It’s like a challenge, I want to beat the car. I want to drive it until it crumbles like the Garthim when Jen plunged the shard into the Dark Crystal (which it probably will). I want it to be worth more than the sum I paid for it, give me every bit of its value and then some, and then I want it to die. I want it to stand as a symbol of all the shit

I suffered through so I can triumph over it; resolve some latent rage against the helplessness I felt by slow motion walking away from its fiery corpse, my face splattered with raspberry jam that looks like blood. Maybe that’s ridiculous. Maybe I’ve just been watching too much Spartacus and I’m all pumped up on gore-porn. Driving a car until it quits probably wouldn’t give me a glorious sense of vengeance and completion so much as it would have me stranded on the freeway with a steaming pile of wet dogsmelling Ford. Plus—spoiler alert— Spartacus dies in the end and his rebellion fails. Also, the Skeksis and the Mystics re-combine into their original form as beings of light who then ascend to some (presumably) higher plane, leaving the world to the last two Gelflings who can save their species through many forthcoming generations of incest... I should rethink my strategy here.

by AMY SANDOVAL amy@synthesis.net


G R AV E C ON C ERN S

ON T H E TOWN — V INC E L AT H A M FACEBOOK.COM /VAN G UARDPHOTOG RAPHY

Zen and the Art of Hurting Yourself & Breaking Things Tour vehicle maintenance is an important part of being a musician. Your car or van WILL break eventually, and when it does, you’ll need to be prepared to dive into its guts and perform the necessary surgeries. This column will in no way help with that. I recently attempted to work on my Subaru Forester, and let me tell you: I’ve been considering touring by train ever since. Anyway, I’ve prepared a guide to help you in your own efforts at Car Fixing. Lesson one: changing your brakes. You will need the following things in order to hurt yourself maximally: 1. Tools. You’ll want some wrenches, a screwdriver or two, and a big hammer. Just bring the whole tool bag that your dad gave you. Rooting through a pile of the Wrong Tools is a great way to invent new and impressive swears. 2. A sixer of American beers. Something shitty. You’re going to be crushing some cans in desperate frustration. 3. Emotional support. Convince someone to come watch you have a psychological breakdown. Your real friends will jump at the possibility of seeing you cry like a little kid that got lost in the grocery store. Let’s work. First things first, you need to get that wheel off of your car. Root around in your trunk for the jack that was supposed to come with your vehicle. It won’t be there. I suggest cracking your first beer at this point. Then borrow a jack, and get the beast a few inches skyward, so you can pop that wheel off and continue pretending that this is going to work itself out, in spite of your absolute ignorance of all things mechanical. My dad worked on every car we ever had when I was growing up. From brakes, to engine rebuilds, he somehow managed to keep our shit-ass Ford LTD on the road. It was during these formative years that I learned and mastered the art of Handing Dad Tools. Wrench? I think that’s what this thing is. Here you go, Dad. Have at that son of a bitch. I also learned that my father spoke in tongues, to a fearsome God. A God that demanded a sacrifice far too great for my young mind to comprehend. The sounds that issued from my dad’s twisted face, as he torqued pieces to

and from the inner sanctum of our boat-sized sedan, were a poetry of anger that knew no language still spoken by the mouth of mankind. These were sacred words. Meldings of fuckwords, welded to other fuckwords that hurled themselves into the engine compartment untethered by reason or diction. Every bolt that dropped into the darkness brought forth a stream of consciousness verbal tirade that rivaled the Beat Poets at their very best. Unfortunately for me, I was too enraptured by the artfulness of the swears issuing forth from under the hood during my youth to ever actually learn how to work on a car. So we’re on our own here. Having removed the wheel from the car, you’ll want to take a self congratulatory swig of beer, while it dawns on you that you are now staring at the completely foreign innards of your broken vessel. Start unbolting parts, until you have a good-sized pile of detritus next to the wheel well. If you can figure out which rusted assemblage holds the brake pads on, you should consider opening your own shop. I’ll gladly bring my car to you. Remove the pads. You’ll want to smash and cut your fingers as many times as possible during this process. Brake pads won’t work at all without a few drops of your blood on them. Try to work the hammer into play somewhere here, too. It may prove unnecessary, but you did bring it, so swing away, slugger. Use some of those Dad Words while you do it. Having removed the old pads, and hopefully with the new pads in place, you can now turn to the pile of car-part rubble and begin bolting pieces back together. If you get the entire mess reassembled, and find that you have a few extra nuts or bolts, don’t worry. That’s perfectly normal. Car manufacturers include extra parts. Just toss those aside with confidence. You did it. You changed your brakes! Shotgun the rest of the beers and go bandage your hands, while you look into the many benefits of taking public transportation. Also, call a mechanic. Your car is still broken.

by SEAN GALLOWAY FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO

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O N THE TOW N — V I N CE L ATHAM FACE B OOK .COM / VA NGUARD P H OTOGRAP H Y

PR O DU C T I V I T Y WAST E D

Sunless Sea SALT AND DARKNESS I’ve been watching recent release Sunless Sea’s slow journey through early access beta since its beginning in the late summer of 2014. Its premise was often sold as some sort of Lovecraft-inspired FTL, and that tantalizing idea caught more attention than the game itself. I even checked out its sire, Fallen London, a simple browser game that is based on limited, but regenerating energy— not unlike Farmville or the Mafia Wars of my own nostalgia, but with decidedly more writing and imagination. Sunless Sea sought to take that imagination and apply it to a more immersive and navigable game, rather than a simple textbased browser game, and to expand that setting a good deal. Fallen London only takes place in the titular city, which was stolen straight from the Victorian Period’s grasp when it was sold to the mysterious and powerful Echo Bazaar, placing it far below the Earth’s surface, into the Unterzee, a massive subterranean ocean without end. Except possibly North, because reality ceases to exist up there. This world is undoubtedly the game’s great strength. Your captain’s log fills with omens, warning you of cities where nothing is dead, places where reason ends, or hunger grows. And that’s before you pull into port. From the shapeshifting tigers of the Carnelian Coast, to the drowned immortals of the Fathomking’s court, there are no shortage of strange and extraordinary characters to interact with. The gameplay, however, is a strange and difficult matter. Sunless Sea is a punishingly difficult roguelike, where manual saves are penalized but not forbidden, death is the end of all your accomplishments, and making ends meet is brutally difficult. This can work in favor of immersion: being constantly worried about dying is a great way to feel 6

SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM

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the fear of the Unterzee. However, it often creates strong obstacles to advancing exploration of the sea that’s randomized on each death. Particularly dangerous to the immersion is the amount of strategy and cutthroat practicality it takes to survive in Sunless Sea. The mystery and detail of the setting makes you want to explore east and solve the riddles of gods and monsters, yet to start, you really ought to be trading coffee beans and clipping coupons out of the newspaper. And as one does eventually grow and explore, you find out that some methods are better than others, and then what happens when this captain dies? The next one will have to repeat the golden strategies again and again. However, even though Sunless Sea has earned its 1.0 release, it’s far from done. The developers at Failbetter Games release new updates frequently, some with minor touches, some with major ones. There is talk of expansions and “Zubmarines.” Failbetter Games proves to be aptly named, because there is no shortage of effort, nor any lack of ideas. From what I’ve seen on forums, this applies to balancing as much as content. The tricky balancing issues and somewhat conflicting elements of the game can make it seem like the work of a novice, still learning and patching up its tracks, but the palatable dread and endless curiosities of a sea where secrets are the most valued commodity shows a masterful touch of worldbuilding and immersion. I am not done watching, nor playing, and I am glad for it.

by ELI SCHWARTZ pwasted@synthesis.net


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We Can’t Forgive Him for That I walked into Renew Float spa last night when Brian, a massage therapist, who knows about my time in Iraq and my experiences as an Army journalist, hit me with the question of the hour. “So, does the reporter have to go?” By reporter, he meant NBC Nightly News’ Brian Williams—questionable stories-guy. I don’t know. Does he have to go? Since the start of Brian Williams-gate, I have been thinking a lot about who gets to tell us about war. Whose vision is considered the most clear and unbiased? Whose wounds get the largest audience? As a low ranking student at the Defense Information School (DINFOS) preparing to go forth to gather television stories for AFN, I was taught to search out the most seemingly unimportant member of every group, military or civilian. “That’s the person the public wants to hear about,” I was told. “That person will tell the best story.” I agree up to a point. We like hearing scary stories from non-scary people. The more outrageous and frightening a story turns out to be the more we want a calm, (dare I say it) conservative, (can we admit it?) male voice in a dark suit to tell us about it. Think The Most Trusted Man in America—Walter Cronkite, or author of The Greatest Generation—Tom Brokaw, or even Aaron Brown, who on his first day at CNN found himself on location covering 9/11. Of course, we all like to read or watch the insider’s view of the closed world of the combat zone. Which is why movies like Restrepo, American Sniper, and The Hurt Locker are so popular. We like to be there with our

hero on the eve of battle. We want to feel their fear and insecurity from the safety of our living rooms. But it takes a lot of courage to get those stories, to live those moments, to experience that kind danger. In recent months we have seen the bitter results of being a driven, talented, and courageous journalist and now visions of young men in orange jumpsuits have entered our communal nightmare. I have a hunch that none of them could have done anything differently with their lives. War stories must be told and the people who tell them are an amazing breed.

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We like knowing that those people are out there gathering the news for us, but we really like our father figures. The reporters who seem unaffected by the horror that they see. Those reporters come from us, but aren’t like us. They are the guys in charge who will make us feel better about the big, bad world with their educated speech patterns and knowing smiles. We are angry at NBC Nightly News anchor Brian Williams, because he was supposed to be that calm guy in a suit, without any emotions, who carefully explained the war to us. He has to go, not because of his questionable handling of the facts, but because his secret is out. He was affected by what he saw and he’s just as crazy scary as the rest of us. And we can’t forgive him for that.

by SYLVIA BOWERSOX FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO

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by Zooey Mae

Chances are you’ve heard of Uncle Dad’s Art Collective. With a hand in groups like Bogg, Pageant Dads, Aubrey Debauchery and the Broken Bones, Everybody In Outer Space Dance Troupe and more, they’ve become an undeniable creative force here in Chico. Last September they orchestrated a Led Zeppelin cover night, where local musicians were employed to cover songs from the popular Zeppelin album IV. The turnout was impressive, with over 500 audience members on hand to marvel at the sonic oddities and engaging dancers, led by Eva Rachelle Blanshei. The Zeppelin show blew through the BMU, leaving many of us reinvigorated and remembering the good ol’ days when AS (Associated Students) bothered to book worthwhile shows in their on-campus venue. If you missed the Zeppelin cover night, don’t fret, because Uncle Dad’s is back at it, this time with a Prince-themed night featuring Purple Rain. I recently met up with Uncle Dad’s representatives Josh Hegg, Gavin Fitzgerald, and Eva Rachelle Blanshei, and a few of the musicians from the upcoming show, Nikki Sierra (Sisterhoods), Stephen Galloway, and Sean Galloway (both of The Shimmies).

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Can you talk a little bit about why you decided to do a Purple Rain cover night? Josh: The goal of this full album tribute is always to take an album that is a considered a masterpiece, something that changed music culture, and have local musicians create it in a brand new way. It ISN’T a cover show, rather a reimagining. All of our past albums have kind of lived in ‘70s rock-land and we thought it was about time to change it up. Give the bands new material to arrange that had a different aesthetic to begin with. Plus Prince, who is known for his theatrics on stage, allows us to also be somewhat over the top with the production side, sets, multimedia, etc. How did you decide which bands would be best to play this show? Josh: All the bands were chosen by the collective because of their current contribution to local music. We weren’t necessarily trying to pick bands that were indicative of our local music scene (though I think we did a pretty good job of sampling tons of genres), but rather we picked bands that are working their asses off and changing the

FEB 16 2015

scope of what our music scene looks like as a whole. New bands like Wanderers and Wolves and Solar Estates who are constantly promoting and showcasing their sounds, as well as older bands like Aubrey Debauchery and The Shimmies that are still performing and writing whether it be in those groups or in new incarnations— those were the groups we wanted to highlight. Granted we didn’t book every band that works hard in Chico, but I think we did a decent job of giving a snapshot in time as to what the best parts of our music scene currently looks like.

us say “is this Tool?”

Western Divide. And Hannah Kyle.

Sean: We are doing a song by… Prince. “Beautiful Ones.”

And what songs?

I’d like you to each talk a little about the song you’re performing, and how you’ve made it yours.

That was nice of you, to fix it for him. We’ll have to send him the corrected sheet music.

Nikki: “When Doves Cry.” I could show you guys a recording of our first rehearsal, but somehow it sounds like a fucking Tool song. I’m not sure how that happened. There’s this weird finger picking thing that’s happening, and it came out sounding exactly like a Tool song. We decided to do it half-tempo, and we wanted to make it super dubbed out, futurebase sounding, and it sounded like a metal song. (laughs). On the recording, you can hear all three of

Sean: Sure, he can put it in his vault with the 800 music videos he’s never released.

Stephen: It’s off his semen-al [sic] album… [laughs]. Sean: Purp Rain. We initially tried to just follow along with it, and then eventually realized that we couldn’t, because we are not Prince, and we are not made of mystical dust, or whatever he’s made of. So we just changed it completely. He used some of the wrong chords, so we fixed it for him.

Gavin: We have rehearsal tonight, we’re performing “Purple Rain,” and honestly I have no idea what we’re going to do. We’re probably just going to add a bunch of horns. And you’re performing with Bogg and Aubrey (Debauchery)? Gavin: Yeah, Bogg, Aubrey, and with

Gavin: With Hannah Kyle we’re definitely throwing it towards Hannah’s style of singing. So lots of finger picks, beautiful country bumpkin sort of… just fell off the turnip truck… style. [laughs]. Sounds like Prince! Gavin: Yes. We are definitely staying as close to Prince as possible. It’s nice with that one, we’ve just done one rehearsal so far, but we just let her shine. I mean it’s not all about Hannah Kyle, so don’t be expecting to hear only her. Michael [Bone] will be playing drums for that… it’s going to be good. So Eva, for the Led Zeppelin show, you danced during Aubrey’s performance, what’s the plan for Purple Rain? Eva: We have seven of the songs choreographed, and when we get [to] tech day, we’ll see which ones still match. We’re up in the set, we’re going to be up above everyone, we’re going to be up on a big twelve foot rafter… there’s a scaffolding thing above the stage


“I’m telling you, I don’t know shit about Prince.”

where [the dancers] will be. That sounds super dangerous. Eva: Yeah, it definitely is. Gavin: Suuuuper dangerous. Eva: You won’t notice us at all. Or see us. We’re going to be up in the set, so we won’t affect any of the musicianship at all. But if someone wants to do a bluegrass version of… [to Gavin] what’s that song I always use for this example? Gavin: Uh… I don’t know.

Gavin: This is fun! Like who’s most like Prince, or who will be singing the song?

Sean: [To Stephen] You are. I want you to be. I’ll be The Revolution. [laughs] Or whatever the band was that Prince was in. I don’t really know anything about Prince.

Gavin: He reigns, wherever he is.

transfusions from children.

Sean: He Purple Reigns. [laughs]

Gavin: I bet he has a lot of milk baths. I can imagine that being a daily thing for him.

Gavin: Oh man…

Eva: [To Sean] Did you watch the movie?

What do you like least about Prince?

Who is the Prince of Bogg?

Sean: What movie?

Gavin: The Prince of Bogg? Matt Weiner. [Everyone laughs, and heartily agrees.] It’s those ringlets. And he also wears pajama pants all day around the house, so he’s just very focused on luxury.

Eva: Purple Rain.

Stephen: I feel like you’re setting us up for failure here. I mean, Is Prince going to step out from behind the corner?

However you want to interpret the question is up to you.

Eva: “I Would Die 4 U.” If someone does a bluegrass version of “I Would Die 4 U,” [laughing] we’re definitely not going to dance to that.

Eva: And under those pajama pants are leather pants.

Gavin: [laughing] It would just be a lot of stomping.

Nikki: [For Sisterhoods] I would have to say it would be Cobby. Because I think that he is a lot of the driving force behind our ideology. [laughs] He also has a deep voice… Man, now I’m thinking it might be Greg.

Eva: They’re all choreographed, so if someone does a true cover, we’ll be able to perform with them. OK, now I’d like to go around the room and I’d like you to say who is the Prince in your band. And for the bands who aren’t here, we’ll just speculate. Wildly.

“We initially tried to just follow along with it, and then eventually realized that we couldn’t, because we are not Prince”

Sean: And the pajama pants are breakaway.

Sean: No [laughs], I’ve never seen it. I’m telling you, I don’t know shit about Prince. Eva: Ok, that’ll be your assignment. You need to watch Purple Rain. What about Western Divide? Eva: Oh, Sean Harrasser, definitely. Gavin: Can we nominate a Morris Day also? Like Morris Day and The Times, which was just the antithesis of Prince? Because that would be Matt Weiner again. He’s such an elusive character.

Who’s the Prince of The Shimmies?

Ok, how about Aubrey Debauchery & The Broken Bones?

[Long pause]

Eva: Matt Weiner.

Gavin: He Purple Reigns supreme.

Eva: I like least his lack of albums. I think he needs more. Good answer. That was a trick question because he is flawless. What is Prince’s anti-aging secret?

Eva: I bet he has someone talk and express things for him so he never has to make facial expressions. He probably has one of those things that he can type a sentence into, then his manager or someone relays it with the proper emotion. Gavin: He’s a ventriloquist. Eva: Oh yeah! Like in the movie. [To Sean and Stephen] You have to see this movie!

Sean: I did hear recently that if you get blood transfusions from infants or small children that it will keep you young.

Sean: Nah, I like to come at things with a complete ignorance. I’ve approached the rest of my life that way, and I’ll thank you to let me do the same with this show.

Didn’t they do something like that with rats?

Who would win in a fight between Prince and Michael Jackson?

Sean: Rats? No, that won’t help. [laughs] Just human children.

Sean: Anyone but Prince.

Eva: Wait are you saying that Prince eats rats? Sean: No, he gets blood

Eva: Well, Michael Jackson is a lover, not a fighter. Gavin: That’s like two storms hitting each other.

FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO

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“He’s a giant among men.”

Stephen: The collateral damage would be tremendous. Like that X-Files episode with Kathy Griffin, where she plays twins that when they get close to each other, disaster strikes. Sean: It’s like that Jet Li movie The One. It’s like Highlander. It’s like a lot of things. I mean, I guess, not to be cruel, but Prince… already… won. Because Michael Jackson is dead. He’s moonwalking in heaven. Who would win in a fight between Prince and a Velociraptor from JP?

What is Prince’s best song?

Sean: He’s a giant among men.

Gavin: I love “When Doves Cry.” I adore that song. But I also love “Darling Nikki.” They’re both great. “Darling Nikki” has this double bass-drum finale that’s just great. I love it.

Stephen: He’s the same size as my mother.

Eva: I love “The Beautiful Ones.” How tall is Prince? Sean: He’s… the guy that played the Ewoks, who was that?

Gavin: Yowza.

The guy who got arrested for rubbing up on girls on the subway?

Sean: Come on.

Sean: That guy got arrested?

Hey, these are my serious and important questions.

He was exposing himself, or rubbing up on strangers, or something…

Eva: I think the Velociraptor would win.

Sean: Gary Coleman? [laughs]

Sean: Actually, it would be the two raptors that he didn’t know were there.

Exactly. No, it was Warwick.

Clever girl.

Sean: Yeah, Dionne Warwick.

Sean: Could he use his Princesymbol guitar?

Warwick Davis.

Eva: Oh yeah, if he starts playing that, that raptor is going to be asleep. Or super horny.

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“He’s the same size as my mother.”

Stephen: Dionne?

Eva: I bet Prince is as tall as I was when I was thirteen. He’s 5’2”.

FEB 16 2015

He’s one inch taller than me. Eva: You guys could kiss and it wouldn’t be awkward. I’m fairly certain it would still be awkward. So, any surprises in store for this show? Josh: As compared to our Led Zeppelin IV tribute in Sept, this show will have quite a bit more mixed media; Videos, dances, etc. We also are building a set. We’re trying to make it feel more like a show start to finish. The music will be great, but we also want people to forget that they are in the BMU Auditorium in Chico and suck them into our Prince infested imaginations. That’s the entertainment aspect, and a show should always strive to be entertaining, in my opinion. I think people can come expecting lots of great music paired with bizarre and radical video projections, dances, costumes and the like. Also, Prince will be there, definitely, without a doubt. No chance he won’t make it. Nikki: Well, the Tool thing would have been a surprise I guess, if I hadn’t just ruined it. I was very surprised about that. As far as

surprises go… Um… no. But I think now I’ll go to our next practice and tell the guys, “we need a surprise.” Gavin: The band might have a better spread of meat and cheese stuff. So that’ll be a nice surprise. Let’s say I’m an average citizen of Chico. Convince me to go to this show. Eva: Have you ever heard of Prince? No. Eva: [Whispering to Gavin] She shouldn’t go. Stephen: For the Led Zeppelin show, people did more direct translations of the songs, because Led Zeppelin is made up of human people who play music. But Prince, nobody can sing like that, nobody can do those things that way. The situation we found ourselves in, was that if we tried to do it directly, it’s just going to sound like a shitty version of that song. So I think people are really going to have to do a lot more to make it their own. Nikki: That’s totally what we’re trying to do, we’re trying to just bring out certain sonic elements. There’s this one really, really synth sound at the beginning of “When Doves Cry” that’s just like weeeeoh weeeoh weeeoh, and it’s just really

weird and so Greg spent like thirty minutes the other day trying to dial in that sound. There’s all kind of weird differences on the album version, so we’re just trying to take those sonic pieces and put them together in some other sort of arrangement. But definitely there’s a lot on there that you just think, this is not human. Gavin: That would be interesting element, as an audience member, just trying to anticipate how the bands are going to pull this off. Josh: If you are an average citizen in Chico, then become above average. Not only can you be entertained by all that local artists have to give to you, but on top of that you can support a performance art scene that wants desperately to thrive. Go, see this show, be entertained, fall in love with the bands like I did and start going to their shows. Coachella is just going to keep getting shittier so start investing in what’s on your doorstep. There you have it! Come see for yourself how these talented musicians interpret the songs of Purple Rain! Saturday, February 21st, BMU auditorium, 7pm. Get your tickets now!


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1/2 Rack Slow Cooked Pork Ribs w/ fries, salad and garlic bread $11.99 8pm-Close $4 or $6 DBL Jack or Captain & Coke or 3 Olives Any Flavor

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THIS W E E K O N LY — B E ST B E TS I N E N T E RTA I N M E N T

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Fine Dining in the Tradition of Southern Italy

SICILIAN CAFÉ WEDNESDAY, FEB 18TH

THURSDAY, FEB 19TH BONE THUGS-N-HARMONY

I <3 THE 90’S TRIVIA

Celebrating 30 years !

Farm. Fresh. Italian.

THE MALTESE

SENATOR THEATRE

Do you remember the storyline in Saved By The Bell where Jessie protested Polystyrene cups at their school like it was yesterday? Do you know all the words to “Pony” by Ginuwine? (So do I, it’s no big whoop, get over yourself). Do you remember when people said “big whoop”? Prove to your mom you were right for keeping your No Fear shirt for all these years. 9pm, 21+.

Let’s be honest. You’re a child of the ‘90s. Even if you weren’t in your childhood during the ‘90s, we all know it was the prime decade for churning out the hits. You know you spent many hours learning all the words to “Crossroads” and “Mo’ Murda.” Go prove to yourself (and everyone else in Chico) that you’ve still got the chops. 7:30pm, all ages, $25.

SATURDAY, FEB 21ST

SATURDAY, FEB 22ND

UNCLE DAD’S ART COLLECTIVE PRESENTS: PURPLE RAIN

LYLE LOVETT & HIS ACOUSTIC GROUP

BMU AUDITORIUM

LAXSON AUDITORIUM

My mother sent me a text immediately after purchasing tickets for this show, asking what sort of Prince costume she should wear. My mom owns a lot of scarves. Come see my mom dressed as Prince for this show, as she tries to not upstage the performers. 7pm, $5, all ages (under 18 must be accompanied by an adult).

The man might look like he’s made of marzipan, but he has the voice of an Americana angel. Did you know he was married to Julia Roberts? We’ve now reached the end of the trivia facts I know about Lyle Lovett. Go see this country music legend and soothe your achy breaky heart. Wait that’s Billy Ray Cyrus. Nevermind. 7:30pm, all ages, $10-$60.

This Week...

CHICO’S 4TH ANNUAL BOB MARLEY CELEBRATION

FURLOUGH FRIDAYS

W/ THE MIGHTY DIAMONDS

Upcoming shows...

NIK WEST

02/26

FRUITITION AND SCOTT PEMBERTON TRIO

1020 Main Street Chico 530.345.2233 14

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FEB 16 2015

On

Main

FEB

19

FEB

20

FEB

21

319 MAIN ST | DOORS OPEN AT 9PM | HALF OFF DRINKS BEFORE 10PM

02/28 GROOVESESSION


F EATURED EV EN TS

16 MONDAY

Chico Grange (2775 Nord Ave): Masters of Malinke Music. 5:30pm.

17 TUESDAY

Butte College Chico Center: Chico Poetry Slam feat. Jared Paul. 6pm. Tackle Box: Fat Tuesday Party. 21+.

18 WEDNESDAY

Laxson Auditorium: Zap Mama & Antibalas. 7:30pm, $10-$32. Maltese: I <3 The 90’s Trivia. 9pm, 21+. Senator Theatre: Iration with Stick Figure, Hours Eastly. Doors at 6:30pm, show at 7:30pm. $20 advance. Sierra Nevada Big Room: Blame Sally. 7:30pm, $17.50. Siskyou Hall Room 120 (CSUC): Eight Evenings with the Respectful Revolution: Putting Ideals Into Action. 7-9pm, all ages, free.

19 THURSDAY

1078 Gallery: Pageant Dads, Human Ottoman, Playboy Smooth. 7:30pm, all ages, $5-$10. Ayres Hall Room 106 (CSUC): Artist Talk by Kate Bingaman-Burt: 8 Days A Week. 5pm, all ages, free. Blue Room Theatre: True West. 7:30pm Every Thursday is Pay What You Can. Chico Women’s Club: Bioneers. 7pm. LaSalles: Happy Hour with live music by Joshua Leif Owen. 4-8pm, 21+. Laxson Auditorium: Storm Large: Songs of Seduction & Obsession. 7:30pm, $10-$34. Lost On Main: 4th Annual Bob Day Celebration with The Mighty Diamonds & Big Tree Fall Down. 9pm, 21+. Senator Theatre: Bone Thugs-n-Harmony: Performing E.1999 Eternal in its entirety. Doors at 7:30pm, show at 8:30pm, all ages, $25 advance. Tackle Box: Live Music with Black Slax. 21+.

O N G O I N G E V E N TS

20 FRIDAY

Blue Room Theatre: True West. 7:30pm Chico Women’s Club: Electric Canyon Convergence CD Release. 7:30pm. City Plaza: Rail Jam. 6-8pm, all ages. LaSalles: “Wild” Miami Nights Dance Party. 8pm, 21+. Lost On Main: Furlough Fridays, Deaf Pilots, Slay It Forward, The Makers Mile. 9pm, 21+, $5. Tackle Box: Live Music with Sweet Revenge. 21+.

21 SATURDAY

Blue Room Theatre: True West. 7:30pm BMU Auditorium: Uncle Dad’s Art Collective Presents: Purple Rain. 7pm, $5, all ages. Chico Elks Lodge: Mardi Gras with live music by Swamp Daddy. 7pm, 21+, $35. Idea Fab Labs: Art Exhibit: The Vanishing Point feat. Erin Banwell. 3-6pm, all ages, free. LaSalles: Happy Hour with live music by Joel & Cooley. 4-8pm, 21+. Lost On Main: Nik West. 9pm, 21+. Pageant Theater: The Spaceman Premiere: Live action & stop-motion Sci Fi short film. 1pm, all ages, $5.

22 SUNDAY

Chico Women’s Club: Funky Trunk Fashion Show. $6 advance, $8 at the door, 5pm. DownLo: Bull Moose Party, Bandmaster Rukus, Hungry Skinny, 8:30pm, 21+, free. Laxson Auditorium: Lyle Lovett & his Acoustic Group. 7:30pm, all ages, $10-$60. Pageant Theater: The Spaceman Premiere: Live action & stop-motion Sci Fi short film. 6pm, all ages, $5 Scotty’s Landing: The Eclectics feat. Becky Brown, benefit for Rose Scott School. 4pm, all ages, donations appreciated. Sierra Nevada Big Room: Animal Liberation Orchestra: Tour d’Amour IX. 8pm, all ages.

16 MONDAY

on the turntable. 9pm-1am 100th Monkey: Fusion Belly Dance The Tackle Box: Open Mic, 9:30pm-12am mixed-level class, with BellySutra. $8/class University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm or $32/month. 6-7pm Valene L. Smith Museum of Anthropology: The Bear: Bear-E-oke! 9pm “Leaping Lemurs and Mysterious Crime.” Chico Womens Club: Prenatal Yoga. 5:3011am-3:00pm 6:30pm Woodstocks: Trivia Night plus Happy Hour. DownLo: Open Mic Music Night. Free. call at 4pm to reserve a table. Starts at Pool League. 7pm. All ages until 10pm 8pm Janet Turner Print Museum: New Work/ New Artist II: National Print Competition Solo Exhibition Award Winner Kathy Aoki. The Beach: Live DJ, no cover, 9pm 11am-4pm Chico Theater Company: Mary Poppins. Maltese: Open Mic Comedy, Signups at 8pm, 7:30pm, all ages starts at 9pm. Mug Night 7-11:30pm DownLo: Live Jazz. 8-11pm. All ages until University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm 10pm Yoga Center Of Chico: Sound Healing w. The Graduate: Free Pool after 10pm Emiliano (no relation). Breathwork, MeditaHas Beans Downtown: Open Mic Night. tion, Healing. 7-10pm. Signups start at 6pm Holiday Inn Bar: Karaoke. 8pm-midnight Janet Turner Print Museum: Kathy Aoki. The Bear: Open Jam Night, featuring a dif11am-4pm ferent live band opening each week. Bring LaSalles: Free live music on the patio. instruments, 9pm-1:30am 6-9pm Chico Women’s Club: Yoga. 9-10am. Afro Maltese: Karaoke. 9pm-close Carribean Dance. $10/class or $35/mo. Panama Bar: Buck night and DJ Eclectic & 5:50-7pm. guests on the patio. 9pm Crazy Horse Saloon: All Request Karaoke. Pleasant Valley Rec Center: CARD World 21+ Dance Classes. 6-7pm/youth 10-17, DownLo: Game night. All ages until 10pm 7-8:30pm/adults. $20/4classes Holiday Inn Bar: Salsa Lessons, 7-10pm Quackers: Karaoke night with Andy. 9pmLaSalles: ’90s night. 21+ 1am Janet Turner Print Museum: New Work/New Tackle Box: Karaoke with DJ Andy. 9pmArtist II: Kathy Aoki. 11am-4pm 1am, 21+ Panama Bar: Tropical Tuesdays ft. Mack University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm Morris & DJ2K. 10pm Valene L. Smith Museum of Anthropology: Studio Inn Lounge: Karaoke. 8:30pm-1am “Leaping Lemurs and Mysterious Crime.” University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm 11am-3:00pm Valene L. Smith Museum of Anthropology: Woodstocks: Open Mic Night “Leaping Lemurs and Mysterious Crimes: On Yoga Center Of Chico: Ecstatic Dance with the Trail of Physical Anthropology.” 11amClay Olson. 7:30-9:30pm 3:00pm Woodstocks: Trivia Challenge. Call at 4pm to reserve a table. Starts 6:30pm The Beach: Live DJ, 9pm Cafe Coda: Friday Morning Jazz with Bogg, happy hour. 10am-2pm The Bear: Trike Races. Post time 10pm Chico Creek Dance Center: Chico internaChico Women’s Club: Afro Brazilian Dance. tional folk dance club. 7:30pm, $2 5:30-7pm Chico Theater Company: Mary Poppins. DownLo: Wednesday night jazz. 8 Ball Tour- 7:30pm, all ages nament, signups 6pm, starts 7pm DownLo: ½ off pool. All ages until 10pm. Duffys: Dance Night! DJ Spenny, Lois, and Live Music, 8pm Jeff Howse. $1, 9pm Duffys: Pub Scouts - Happy Hour. 4-7pm Farm Star Pizza: Live Jazz with Carey Robin- The Graduate: Free Pool after 10pm son and Friends. 6pm-8pm Holiday Inn Bar: DJ Dance Party. 8pm-midThe Graduate: Free Pool after 10pm night Janet Turner Print Museum: Kathy Aoki. Janet Turner Print Museum: Kathy Aoki. 11am-4pm 11am-4pm The Maltese: Friends With Vinyl! Bring your LaSalles: Open Mic night on the patio. vinyl and share up to 3 songs/12 minutes 6-9pm

19 THURSDAY

17 TUESDAY

20 FRIDAY

18 WEDNESDAY

Maltese: Happy hour with live jazz by Bogg. 5-7pm. LGBTQ+ Dance Party. 9pm Panama Bar: Jigga Julee, DJ Mah on the patio. 9pm Peeking: BassMint. Weekly electronic dance party. $1-$5. 9:30pm Quackers: Live DJ. 9pm Sultan’s Bistro: Bellydance Performance. 6:30-7:30pm University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm Valene L. Smith Museum of Anthropology: “Leaping Lemurs and Mysterious Crime.” 11am-3:00pm

21 SATURDAY

The Beach: Live DJ Battle, 9pm DownLo: 9 Ball tournament. Signups at noon, starts at 1pm. All ages until 10pm The Graduate: Free Pool after 10pm Holiday Inn Bar: DJ Dancing. The Molly Gunn’s Revival! 8pm-midnight Janet Turner Print Museum: Kathy Aoki. 11am-4pm LaSalles: 80’s Night. 8pm-close Panama Bar: DJ Eclectic on the patio. 9pm University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm Valene L. Smith Museum of Anthropology: “Leaping Lemurs and Mysterious Crime.” 11am-3:00pm

22 SUNDAY

Chico Theatre Company: Mary Poppins. 2pm, all ages Dorothy Johnson Center: Soul Shake Dance Church. $8-$15. 10am-12:30pm DownLo: Free Pool, 1 hour with every $8 purchase. All ages until 10pm LaSalles: Karaoke. 9pm Maltese: Live Jazz 4-7pm. Tackle Box: Karaoke, 8pm

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15


O N THE TOW N J ESSI CA SID

H OW L

Strangers on the Strange Train Howl’s arms were wrapped around his knees, which rattled in time with the traincar. The boy was holding his feet as far from the floor as he could, but he could not exert the same control over his eyes: they were transfixed by the floor-wide illusion. It looked as if the train car’s floor opened wide onto outer space. Immense darkness, countless stars; there were so many pinpricks of light and swirling nebula it made his head spin. The terrifying, engrossing view scooted slowly by underneath his bench, and the train rolled on. A rustling sound near his ear made the boy jerk his head up, but what he saw there averted his gaze back to the floor just as quickly. The train’s ceiling was covered with bats, hanging asleep by their feet. The train conductor’s idea of a “fantastically magical, always-different train ride” was having a devastating effect on our hero’s emotions. The train came out of a tunnel, sunlight struck Howl’s face, and it brought his gaze off the illusory cosmic floor to regard the landscape outside: mountains were rolling by. They were carpeted in hundreds of thousands of trees that set the slopes on fire, an emerald blaze that helped the boy breathe again. “The trees are real, the train car’s real,” he was whispering to himself, “There isn’t actually outer space under me, I’m in an actual train car…” A few feet forward from him, an old lady slowly stood up to turn towards the rearend bathroom. The whites showing in her eyes revealed the same fear of this floor that seemed open to the starry abyss, even

though her feet were now planted firmly. The boy watched her brave progress across the invisible floor, past the hundreds of sleeping bats overhead. Sitting at the rear next to the bathroom was another boy, whose only discernible feature at this distance was his hair, blonde like Howl’s. The other handful of passengers were huddled up in fear of their “fantastically magical, always-different train ride,” but this kid was relaxed, head slightly back, staring at nothing. When he suddenly stood up and began walking the opposite way of the old lady, his confidence and calm were obvious. The bats overhead didn’t concern him. The floor was still invisible, but the reassuring sounds of his shoes clicking against it seemed to make the train more real, more solid. Behind the strange boy, the old lady came out of the bathroom, and gave a huge sneeze. This proved to be too loud of a noise for the bats, and soft cries from the passengers were drowned out by the beating of hundreds of wings. The small creatures were a storm inside the train car. Our hero, finally defeated by the first train ride of his life, hid his face. He only lifted it out from its hiding place between his knees when a hand firmly gripped his shoulder. It was the other boy. Bats were swirling and screeching through all the traincar, but all Howl saw was the boy’s face. His features seemed to be soft, and strong, and feminine, and strikingly hard, at the same time. His face was calm, and his eyes were smiling.

by HOWL howlmovesmountains.tumblr.com

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FEB 16 2015


IM MAC ULATE IN FE CTION

ON T H E TOWN J ESS ICA SID

Fiascoes Great and Small A HISTORICAL CIA FAILURE OF EPIC PROPORTIONS AND KANYE WEST CRASHING THE STAGE ONE MORE TIME. I’m reading a book right now called Bay of Pigs, the Untold Story, by Peter Wyden. This is an episode of American history I was almost totally unaware of until I read a fictional account of it in a James Ellroy book called American Tabloid. It took place in April of 1961. The CIA-orchestrated operation was a planned invasion of Cuba that was designed to incite open rebellion amongst the local population and result in the overthrow of Fidel Castro’s government. It turned out to be a complete fiasco, a total and utter failure. The CIA under-estimated Castro’s support in his homeland, and the invading force of American trained Cuban exiles was slaughtered almost as soon as they hit the beach at one of Castro’s favorite fishing spots. This failure was staggering and a major blemish on America’s reputation as a nation that was able to strategize intelligently and act decisively. Wyden claims that were it not for this fresh chink in America’s armor, Soviet President Nikita Khrushchev “almost certainly would not have dared precipitate the Cuban Missile Crisis of 1962…” Sitting American President John F. Kennedy purportedly asked himself after the disastrous episode: “How could I have been so stupid?” But to me it isn’t particularly difficult to see how that could happen. The CIA operatives who planned the mission were some of the very brightest in the department. One in particular, the deputy director for plans, was a man named Richard Mervin Bissell, Jr. He was in charge of the agency’s covert operations and reportedly possessed a staggering and intimidating intellect. However, as you moved down the chain of command, the talent became questionable.

I can’t imagine being the President. So many decisions have to be made, and the information the President has to make them is necessarily filtered through trusted advisors. The President’s decisions, ultimately, can only be as good as the intelligence being afforded. Throughout our history we see decisions made that turn out to be flawed because the information being presented as factual was flawed. Kanye Plus Beyonce... Anyway, on to more important things. I had to laugh when I read that Kanye West had once again spontaneously taken to the stage, this time to protest Beyonce not being given the “Best Album” award at the recent Grammys show. That award went to the diminutive in stature Beck, who looked a little scared when Kanye came flying onto the stage, commandeered the microphone, and then offered a sly smile and a wave before returning to his seat. This makes two such impromptu award-show appearances for Kanye, the first time being when he took the microphone from elfish Taylor Swift during the 2009 MTV Music Award show to let the audience know his feelings on her award for best video. I’m not sure if anyone else has mentioned this, but both times he has claimed that Beyonce should have been the winner. I’m starting to believe Kanye has a big old schoolboy crush on the “Put a Ring on It” singer and dancer extraordinaire.

by BOB HOWARD Madbob@madbob.com FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO

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And now, a segment of conversation between medical marijuana advocate Joel Castle and Butte County Supervisor Maureen Kirk, regarding the state of affairs following the passage of Measure A...

(Joel) What do you say to the 50,000 Butte County 215 holders with no safe access now? (Supervisor Kirk) Well... people can still grow it in unincorporated areas, and the city has some allowances, too. You know, I guess I’m not sure how much of a problem safe access is, so maybe you’d have to tell me. Well, currently the Butte County District Attorney Mike Ramsey has policies... keeping out dispensaries and [keeping] access out of Butte County. And of course there are many precedents in California. Even Kamala Harris, our State’s Attorney, disagrees with his policies. And 50,000 disenfranchised patients shouldn’t be thrust into the criminal world. Many can’t grow... They don’t have the facilities. A lot of them live in federal section 8 housing—you know, they just can’t grow. They’re not farmers; they don’t want to grow; they don’t want the danger in it. Access for them is the black market. So our black market is thriving in Butte County, our jails are full, and I’m wondering if your constituents know what the cost, both socially and on a physical basis, is to Butte County. You know, I don’t know, but with prop 47 there certainly aren’t going to be as many people in jail or on probation for minor possession. Yeah, we are going to spend some money on enforcement for measure A, is that what you’re talking about? Well, measure A is compounding the issue. Do you agree with measure A? Yeah. I think it just got outta hand, all the grows in our unincorporated areas. When we were proposing it, I was willing to meet half[way], and Andrew Merkel, who’s sort of the spokesperson for the growers, said he was still opposed to half, so we went with a smaller amount, because I think that’s enough for people. I understand the problem if you live in apartments or if you live in section 8 and can’t grow, but you have to understand that our rules in the county are different than in the city. 18

SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM

Well that’s another problem. Our cities are handcuffed because of the policies of the county and of the DA’s office. Which, again, we go right back to Mr. Ramsey’s office and his recommendations. Now, I wasn’t part of your negotiations on growing, but had I been, I would’ve... since you’re handcuffing the growers, I think it would be sensible to offer a public option. What do you mean by that? Well, wouldn’t it be interesting if the County grew the patients’ cannabis?

problem is being created by the arrests. And the first thing the cops ask is where’s the weed. And I know that to be a fact. The cops are all over the weed, that’s what they wanna bust more than anything else. I talked to one of the parks officers, what do you think of the urination tickets and he said “that’s my favorite, that’s what we like to do,” and I said “even though the bathrooms are closed?” And he said “eeennnhhh.” But, I... gaaahhh. But, if you’re circumspect, people are never going to see you urinate in public. I mean if you go behind a tree because you just can’t wait...

a homeless problem. That is an emergency, it’s not a joke anymore. I recognize that, totally. And our cannabis safe access is 50,000 times worse. There’s 50,000 people out of [the] 220,000 people [in Butte County] that need safe access?

Well, yeah, I mean no. Or a woman’s gotta squat down.

Well, I can tell you this, Dr Toy wrote 10 scrips a day every weekend for 10 years, and that was 13 years ago, and he stopped 3 years ago, I know Cristal Dawn Speller has been writing probably 50 a week for 10 years... And those are just two doctors I can mention, there’s another 3 doctors in town now, one out on Nord, so you’re looking at... however many other doctors. Do you know how many 215 patients there are at Chico State University?

And then the county could provide to the rest of the patients in Butte county at $50 an ounce, which would take the money out of the criminal world and put let’s say a third into each city, a third into the county... $50 at 5000 patients, that’s $40,000,000 each [sic]. And $40,000,000 goes to the garden for maintainance, scientific studies... keeping it organic... and this could be an option that you could easily protect. It would take all the gardens out of all the neighborhoods. You know, you could throw a pebble to every garden in every neighborhood, so how much farther can a bullet go? So, why not take that and make it a public option if you have a 215, to have, you know, you get it free... how much danger do you want to bring to your neighborhoods?

But bars have bathrooms.

No. Do you?

Well, that doesn’t matter when they’re closed.

Um, about 10%. With no safe access, so they’re, you know... What would you think about a club that opened up just so people could network?

Well, that’s kind of the genesis of the whole thing: the danger to the neighborhoods.

Why do you care about that? You’d rather write tickets?

Right. So, public option. [45 minutes later]

Well, people were living in there, trying to live in there, and then other people couldn’t get in. I think it turned out to be...

...The public is not creating the problem, the

Well, that’s what I’m telling you, that we have

Well, yeah, in a perfect world it probably would be, and then we would have dispensaries... Well, no no, the dispensary would be from the county... That’s what I meant...

FEB 16 2015

Oh, so you’re gonna tell me that after six to eight beers, a guy’s... Gonna be careful?

What are you doing out after 2:00am? They’re walking home, going through town or whatever. The problem is all day long there’s no public bathroom open. You spend a million and a half dollars on that bathroom and it’s not open.

I... I’m not talking about a dispensary where they just, I mean growers could go...

I thought it was open during the day.

Don’t you have a club right now?

Why isn’t it open 24/7?

It doesn’t have a physical location. I don’t want to be raided every ten minutes.

Well, because of vandalism, because of crime...

To read the rest of this unabridged and mesmerizing conversation—including how a county owned marijuana farm could be run by homeless people, a thorough discussion of public urination and how the city council bathrooms should be open 24/7, and heated debate over whether more than one plant can fit in a 10’x10’ square—visit synthesisweekly.com


U NSOLIC ITED A DVICE

S C E N E R E PO RT

Meditations on Mamiffer ORANGE ST. STUDIO — FEBRUARY 7TH, 2015

Drive By Verbal Diarrhea Welcome to Unsolicited Advice, an open column space for anyone who wants to tell someone, or everyone, what’s what. Submit your 500 words to editorial@synthesis.net

and arms laid upon each other’s shoulders. And all I can muster in this moment of complacency, shock, disgust, and hate is a long and drawn out:

It’s fall 2014. A beautiful day in the city of trees and by all accounts, the only thing that seems to be blooming around me is love. A couple walks slowly, the synchronized sounds of their footsteps prattle behind me. I look back occasionally and smile. That saying occurs to me, the one about how couples come to resemble each other in both actions and physical appearance. These two have the same haircut, same jeans, the same stupid, shit eating grin. I don’t mean to sound callous, it’s just always funny to me. Two people who truly seem that nutter butters for one another.

“Fuuuuuuuck you buddy.”

We all reach a stopping point at once. The corner of Broadway and West Third. I can hear a loud sound approaching. A diesel truck. It calls to mind Uncle Buck pulling forth in that backfiring hunk of junk in order to embarrass his niece. But Uncle Buck had a heart. This sound is much more ominous... something… terrible. Sitting behind the over-compensating truck’s wheel is a surly and gluttonous man who seems to be slowing down his beastly hate machine in order to be heard. His red neck and face become simultaneously visible and audible, and though no one as I recall it asks for his sticky-icky two cents, he hurls them eloquently, like a fiery Molotov cocktail right out his truck’s window. “Why don’t you dykes get a fucking room, pigs!” Huh? ...Huh. Uh huh. Okay. I look to the ladies beside me. The loving couple who merely have or rather had smiles upon their faces

It must have taken such bravery and such courage of you, sir, to do a drive by shooting of hate speech. And now I am filled with hate for your hate. I look to the couple, who simply smile, half-hearted, but walk away in the other direction, an arm’s length apart. And I am left with a few thoughts of my own. One: do you kiss your mother with that mouth, truck driver? Yeah probably, and she is probably proud of you. Two: was I right to speak the way I did? Could I have done more, or did I only feed into it? Three: why in our country where we ensure an idiot like that the freedom of speech do we not ensure the right for people to pursue happiness, love, and their right to express that love freely? Everything just felt wonky the rest of that day, and still, when I think of it. What solves a problem like this? What changes such archaic and outmoded ideas? Everyone has seen Bambi, and heard that old chestnut: if you can’t say anything nice don’t say anything at all. We’re all entitled to our opinions, sure. But we’re also entitled to live a happy and safe existence free from having someone’s hate speech imposed on us. I have a dream too. It’s that your truck breaks down, your tongue rots, or I don’t know, maybe you grow up a little.

by ANONYMOUS

by NATHAN COLLINS In the open art space of Orange St. Studio, accent lights of blue and red made silhouettes out of dynamic noise duo Mamiffer. Their shadows loomed as walls of sine waves curled from immensely powerful amplifiers. These two consummate experimental artists, heavy music legend Aaron Turner (former frontman of Isis… the band not the terrorist group, and main member of low-end supergroup Old Man Gloom) and his wife Faith Coloccia, offered their challenging aural assault to a small audience of Chico-cognoscenti. Playing compositions from their latest record, Statu Nascendi, one of the group’s more approachable sonic undertakings, their set was one monolithic soundscape, seamlessly transitioning between one melodic-ordissonant musical meditation to another. Waves of white noise breaking against cliffs of distorted guitar, then settling into tidepools of delicate piano and swirls of rotary organ. This music is meant to be challenging, both physically and mentally. Physically, the frequencies used span the entire spectrum of human hearing. Then there’s the volume. Earplugs were offered at the door, a smart option for those interested in still being able to hear things after their twenties. And mentally, sometimes the atonal drones last so long your mind starts to walk off stage. But that’s the point. Like meditation, you have to bring it back into the harsh spotlight of the music. Between blunt force guitar interludes, Turner focused on adjusting knobs on his assemblage of sound-generating tools and effects, while Coloccia swapped cassette tapes of samples through a Walkman run through another collection of audio shaping

devices. A mix of heavy tones swelled to an overpowering volume and then fell away as she turned to her microphone, singing soft and sweet while striking out a simple melody on her stage piano. The audience accepted this music, standing perfectly still in the big dark room. Like a group of monks standing around a gong. Tipping up cans of cheap beer in humble praise. A congregation of the few who can hang with this kind of raw sonic power. Supporting Mamiffer on their tour was John Mueller, a musician focused on schizophrenic vocal loops and trance-inducing drumming. I would’ve given anything for a peace pipe of peyote during his set. I think I could’ve finally found my spirit animal. There was a subtle complexity to his music. Maybe just too subtle for me, or too complex. I’ve just never been a part of a drum circle, and I feel displaced at Pow-wows. Hometown opener, Ave Grave, seemed an odd pairing with these two noisemakers. But if anything, Sean Galloway’s beautiful voice and traditional song structures offered the feeling of solid ground before being launched into the weightlessness of musical outer space. Longtime local Shimmie has a solo project, and a solo record, which you should check out if you’re into things like music and feeling things about stuff. I had a chance to talk with Turner after the show about the purpose of music in modern life and the interesting challenges of bringing the savagery of Old Man Gloom’s new double record, The Ape of God, to a Cafe Coda near you, but I’m saving that interview for an upcoming show preview. Stay tuned, nerds!

FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO

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CASH! CASH! CASH! We pay cash for your recyclables!! CRV ALUMINUM CANS $2.00/Pound E-WAStE! We pay 5¢ per pound for TV’s , Computers, Monitors and Laptops!! And, as a courtesy to our customers, we’ll accept all other consumer electronics, such as fax machines, printers, VHS players, etc. as a drop-off, with no payments* * Some restrictions may apply Call for more information on getting cash for other recyclable materials.

2565 S. Whitman Place, Chico (Corner of East Park Avenue and S. Whitman Place) 343-5500

LIFE IN CHICO Do you like Life in Chico? So do we! -“Like” Life in Chico, CA facebook.com/ChicoCA

GREAT SHORT STORIES Lotus Land, written by local writer William Wong Foey Local writer William Wong Foey author of best selling novel: Winter Melon releases his new book Lotus Land, a short story collection of bold and amazing stories of desire, despair, courage, and redemption. Available at Lyon’s Book Store at 135 Main (Chico) and in paperback & e-book at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, iTunes, & Direct Music Cafe. A special thanks to all the people who purchased my debut novel: Winter Melon.

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FEB 16 2015

by logan kruidenier logankruidenier.tumblr.com


February 16, 2015 By Koz McKev ARIES

TAURUS

GEMINI

CANCER

LEO

VIRGO

A big shift happens this week. Your social life has a few more days left for you to take advantage of. Pay attention to your karmic connections. You may have some work to make up for. On Wednesday afternoon the sun and moon move into your twelfth house of isolation, meditation, dreams, and pleasures of the bed. Be careful not to be part of your own undoing. Mars, Venus, and the moon join Uranus and the South Node in Aries on Friday afternoon. The weekend looks good for initiating ideas, beginning new projects, and going on an adventure.

The things we do and our work environment lead us to a place where our social life develops. Begin the week conscious of your public image and career strategy. The new moon on Wednesday begins a time for new friendships as well as preparing for the future. Venus and Mars enter your twelfth house this week. Whatever karma that comes up will be a little more intense than usual; think Pandora opening her box. By late Sunday the moon enters Taurus, helping things to feel more settled. You may need to let the phone ring.

How can we bring more love and less fear into the world? You are being called to leadership this week. The moon and sun enter your career house on Wednesday, putting you more in the public eye. Relationship difficulties need to be addressed in a practical manner. Your social life gets activated to an extreme level this weekend. Don’t allow excitement to overcome the practical aspects of what needs to be done. You have so many good lessons to apply to yourself. Don’t be discouraged when the pressure is on. You are capable like no other.

You get to escape the sharp edges of life this week. You move from transformation to higher education and a streak of good luck. The sun and moon move into your ninth house of good fortune this week. This is a good time for travel and higher education. You stand a chance at a career promotion or a chance to be recognized for your talents and skills. Get over any shame and discomfort and liberate yourself to be a performer. This week, accept ways in which you can lead people effectively. Demonstrate compassion in the midst of conflict.

From the agreement of a relationship we move into intense territory. We come upon the place where we need to agree upon shared power. If you expect to be in control, the next several weeks will be more difficult than expected. If you allow other people to help you, you will be pleasantly surprised. On Wednesday, the moon and sun enter your eighth house of other people’s property, occult studies, sex, death, and spiritual phenomena. By Friday there will be Venus, Mars, the moon, Uranus and the South Node in your ninth house of travel, publishing, and higher wisdom.

We move through our service into partnership this week. A little bit of love spread generously will go a long way. Helping other people with their problems is good karma. Romance and partnership have been on your mind. What makes for the perfect match is the question. The moon and sun go into your seventh house on Wednesday afternoon. Your new focus will be relationships, contracts and romance. The weekend appears to be transformational. Count your blessings and be ready to get rid of the things that are not working for you.

LIBRA

SCORPIO

SAGITTARIUS

CAPRICORN

AQUARIUS

PISCES

Being playful and having fun has dominated the last several weeks. Staying healthy has been more of a challenge. Being creative has been a breeze. When it comes to love you wrote the book. You move from art into service and practical applications. The Sun and Moon move into your sixth house. You’re likely to be more focused on work, volunteer projects, and charitable causes. Venus, Mars, the moon, Uranus and the South Node in the seventh house over the weekend could inspire many different alliances. You’re ready for love again.

If you could go to boarding school on a whim, this might be the week you would try it. Dealing with family limitations has been part of your life the last several weeks. You’ve also gotten a creative second wind and are able to make things with ease. The sun and moon move into your fifth house of creative expression, playfulness, and love affairs. This weekend would be a great time to begin athletic training with Mars, Venus, the moon, the South Node, and Uranus all in your sixth house this weekend. Make a commitment to your health.

From roaming the natural environment we come to the conclusion that a certain spot might make for a nice home. We contact our siblings to discuss our parents. This week isn’t without social time. Deal with your friends earlier in the week rather than later. You’re more concerned with your personal life. The sun and moon move into your fourth house of parents, ancestors, and household dwellings. You want to be with the people you are most comfortable with. The weekend could inspire a heart opening joy as well as creative expansion.

Mental blocks eventually become the foundations of universal aspirations. Speak with finesse and elegance. Know that your values will need to adjust to community standards. The truth is that hypocrisy is everywhere. Our purpose on earth is to make good karma. The moon and sun enter your third house on Wednesday. Embrace the communication arts. Get in touch with your siblings. Be a positive force in your neighborhood. The weekend looks good for attending to domestic duties and honoring your parents.

Monday through early afternoon Wednesday your sign remains in control, with the moon, Mercury and sun in Aquarius. All of this changes Wednesday afternoon, with the sun and moon moving into your second house of values, money, family, and food. By the weekend everything shifts again, this time with an emphasis on communication, environment, and information. You are ready to address the issues of social change. Don’t allow your social life to tax your resources. Be sensitive to opportunities for economic progress.

The birth of fresh opportunities for you begins this week. You move less in the dream space and more in the world of consciousness. On Wednesday the moon and sun move into your sign and stay there till Friday afternoon. After that the Moon, Mars, and Venus join Uranus and the South Node in your second house. Issues involving finances are likely to change. Sing songs of praise and be thankful for what you have. The sun will remain in Pisces till the afternoon of March 20th. Until then, turn us on to your idea of a utopian society.

Koz McKev is on YouTube, on cable 11 BCTV and is heard on 90.1FM KZFR Chico. Also available by appointment for personal horoscopes call (530)891-5147 or e-mail kozmickev@sunset.net

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CR O S SWORD! — PURPL E RAIN

Down 1. They are a changin’ 3. A word used by liars in reference to their sex partner 4. One who wears an assless yellow lace jumpsuit 5. A convulsive vocal response to a loud fart in a quiet elevator 6. What your boyfriend calls you when he’s definitely cheating on you 8. The only good part of the week 11. An overrated position with all the responsibility and very little benefit 13. A creepy word used by creeps in reference to their sex partner 14. A liquid pesticide for cats that kills fleas and their eggs 15. What you can count on a man never doing 18. Not this one 19. What you should feel but probably don’t because you’re an entitled millennial Across 2. Why should I? It’s not like I wanted the last piece. 7. A bad feeling I never meant to cause you 9. Soaking in a vat of your own filth for the sake of relaxation 10. Only the beginning, yes 12. What you should do to the door, were you born in a barn? 16. Not above neath, that's for sure 17. Dead or alive 19. Something you might as well do since the Chico Police probably won't bother investigating 20. An even worse feeling I never meant to cause you 21. Something you do around, if you’re thoughtful 22. A free car wash for poor people 23. The result of grabbing and twisting a nipple of another person 24. The sweetest dance movie of all time

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FEB 16 2015




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