How to Lead as a Woman Physician Series
Your Inner Critic
We all have that voice inside of us
We all have this inner critic inside of
that tells us things like “you’re not
us. This voice inside our head has also
good enough,” or “who do you think
been called our saboteur, our inner
you are?” or “that could have been
gremlin, and the voice of our own self-
better,” or “you don’t belong here.”
doubt. Some have even termed this voice imposter syndrome.
What is the quality of this voice? Is it loud, harsh, shrill, and nagging, or is it
Our inner critics are a completely
spoken in an insidious, low, raspy
normal part of being a human being.
whisper? When do you first remember
They can completely sound like our
this voice? When did it first become
own inner thoughts, can sound like
your constant companion through
the voice of a stern teacher or parent
life?
from our childhood, or even resemble
Tammie Chang, MD, LLC
How to Lead as a Woman Physician Series
the voices of people from TV or
Remember that we form thoughts in
movies. What’s important to
response to a trigger, an external
understand, is that even though these
stimulus or situation. These thoughts
voices sound like our own thoughts,
then drive our emotions, which drive
and can sound completely normal and
our behavior, and ultimately impact
reasonable, they are not us. They are
the results of our actions. We then
merely thoughts.
receive feedback from others, from our external world, in response to our
Our inner critics are also what hold us
behavior and actions.
back from living fully authentic and fully expressed lives. They hold us
Let’s play this through to the end.
back from stepping into our own true
Let’s pretend you receive negative
authentic form of leadership. They tell
feedback on a performance review.
us we “can’t,” or “shouldn’t,” or even
Your initial thoughts and emotions are
“should.”
one of shock, shame, embarrassment, and maybe even anger. “How could
I want you to think back to your
anyone say something this wrong,
psychology 101 course in college and
untrue and mean about me,” you
remember the cognitive behavioral
think to yourself, “This is so unfair!”
model of emotion. I find this exercise helpful, especially when working with
You turn red, your cheeks are on fire,
whip smart women physicians who
you heart is pounding, and you are
tend to like spreadsheets, flow charts,
sweating. You are upset, you are
models, check lists and roadmaps (like
angry. Furious, defensive, and
myself…!).
indignant words come out of your mouth before you realize it. You are so
Tammie Chang, MD, LLC
How to Lead as a Woman Physician Series
upset and overcome with anger, that
he conversation with your director,
you find yourself standing up, and
maybe even smiling and sharing a
walking furiously out of the room. The
friendly smile, and say “thank you so
door slams behind you. You storm
much for the feedback. I will work on
down the hallway and outside of the
this.” You leave the office and walk
building.
calmly down the hall and back to your own office.
Several minutes later, you realize that your behavior was not good. You fear
See the vast difference between these
now even further repercussions for
two scenarios?
losing your temper, raising your voice, and perhaps even being called a
The power of our thoughts in response
“disruptive physician.”
to a situation influence our emotions, and ultimately our behavior, and then
Now, what if instead of the thoughts of
the consequences of our behavior.
“how could anyone say something this wrong, untrue and unfair about me”
This is why our inner critics can be so
you instead had thoughts of “well
sneaky, so insidious, and so
that’s interesting. I know this is just
dangerous for us. Without even
one person’s perspective, one
realizing it, they impact our emotions,
person’s opinion. I know that
our behavior and ultimately our
feedback is often more of a reflection
results. If you believe that you don’t
of the individual giving the feedback
deserve something, that you are not
than it is on me.” Instead of getting
enough, or not good enough, or not
hot, red and upset, you remain calm,
working hard enough, then this is how
untriggered, and collected. You finish t
you show up through your behavior
Tammie Chang, MD, LLC
How to Lead as a Woman Physician Series
and your actions. This is how you make choices and decisions. Learning to differentiate the difference between your own voice and that of your inner critic is an essential foundation of self-leadership and self-awareness. It is completely natural and normal to have selfcritical and self-defeating thoughts. What we must realize is when these thoughts occur. We must reframe these thoughts in the moment, so that we don’t go down the rabbit hole of negative, selfdefeating emotions, behavior, and ultimately decisions and results. This work of growing our own self-awareness about our inner critic is like working a muscle. It takes methodical, daily practice. And over time, it becomes second nature to us. This is what I want to help you to do for yourself.
Tammie Chang, MD, LLC
How to Lead as a Woman Physician Series
Your Assignment: Take 20 minutes and brainstorm all the thoughts you have throughout your day that are those of your inner critic. What does your inner critic say to you? What is the quality of these words? Are they harsh, raspy, nagging, or shrill? If you were to draw a picture of your inner critic, what would he/she/it/they look like? Draw a little cartoon bubble with the words of your inner critic. What is the name of your inner critic? How is he/she/it/they dressed? Maybe your inner critic doesn’t have a human form. Draw this instead. Notice how almost funny and comical your cartoon character looks, with the little bubble of negative words floating in the air. Now for the next week, I want you to keep a journal or pad of paper close by. Write down every thought, situation, and circumstance where your inner critic shows up. Write down what your inner critic says to you. Our next article will be on how to make friends with our inner critic and help us to reframe this part of our life experience as women, physicians and leaders. Email me at info@tammiechangmd.com with questions, any time. I am here for you friend…!
Tammie
Tammie Chang, MD, LLC
