UIM vol3 May/June issue

MAGAZINE

CONTENTS PG.4 K’WAN INTERVIEW

PG.8 ZANE...IT’S NOT ABOUT THE SEX PG.16 URBAN ENTERTAINMENT NEWS WITH HENNESSY JONES PG.22 WHAT UP DAWG?

PG.28 Brandi “YoungDiva” Purcell ON HER WAY TO THE TOP PG.30 ASK SHARIFAH PG.34 REAL TALK WITH DADDY RICH

PG.38 CUT MONEY AND CUT COSTS PG.42 MEN DON’T THINK WITH THEIR “LITTLE HEADS”…

PG.46 ASK EMIAJ PG.48 SHUT UP AND LISTEN

PG.50 HOW NOT TO MARRY A JERK/JERKETTE

PG.56 MASTURBATION PG.59 OLIVIA MEETS DEUCE PT. 1

Richard Darnell McVickers is a hot mess. As a self-proclaimed player, hustler and gangster, he is always one step ahead of the law. On the other hand, he is loyal to his friends and family and a licensed real estate agent. Author Daddy Rich’s potent mix of the real and the ridiculous makes his novel an exciting read. McVickers aka Big Mac is a classic anti-hero, someone you find yourself rooting for even though he’s always up to no good. There is a realness in this character that many readers will find appealing, especially those who will be looking for a sequel to this raw street tale. Because with all the unexpected twists and turns in this book, there will be a hunger for more Big Mack A product of Marion, Indiana, Big Mack has eight kids and seven baby mommas, a white girlfriend, an ex-wife and a female probation officer who has the hots for him. He is also a licensed realtor and a cocaine dealer. And one more thing, Big Mack is an aspiring rap artist with an eye on a deal that will make all the drama in his life add up to a monster payday. He just has to stay out of jail long enough to make all his hip hop dreams come true.

Author Daddy Rich has created a strong voice in Big Mack, a character with much energy and dramatic spirit. In this street epic, there is great use of foreshadowing that has the reader racing from one chapter to the next. In the main story, Big Mack and partner in crime Fatboy plan a crime caper that involves robbing a drug connection. This leads to much plotting and planning along with some humorous writing and authentic drug talk that will be an education for squares, letting them in on the for real drug game, how real drug dealing gangsters talk about it.

Big Mack’s world is colorful and dangerous. Made even more so because Mack is just off a six year bid for dealing cocaine. But he is so addicted to The Game that he can’t stop, won’t stop. He is a self-proclaimed dope boy by nature. There is much black comedy here as the reader follows Big Mack’s double life, real estate agent by day, drug dealer and cold blooded killer by night.

Because music is his first love, Big Mack manages to write his rhymes, produce his music, and secure a record deal. A major part of the suspense is will Big Mack live long enough to realize his dreams of rap superstardom. Big Mack’s active sex life makes for many erotic passages that are well written and advance the plot, placing all the hot action in real life situations that make this street story all the more compelling. Whether dealing with an ex-wife, a girlfriend or groupies, the sex is extreme but is compatible with the raw flavor of this street saga. All of this comes to a dramatic conclusion when a Task Force of informants, detectives, prosecutors and judges focus their attention on Big Mack. Their determination to bring him down sets the stage for Big Mack’s final act of revenge. In Mack’s Revenge All Hell Breaks Loose, Daddy Rich has created a legend.

-Terry Benjamin, N-House Review MACK’S REVENGE AVAILABLE AT

AMAZON.COM GANGSTA-LIT.COM BARNSANDNOBLE.COM SMASHWORDS.COM

K’wan

First of all K’wan, I would like to thank you for taking the me out for this interview!

If you have to describe yourself with one word, what would it be?  Timeless

When did you start writing?  I wrote my first story in high school, but my first actual novel in 1995 riding cross country from New York to Illinois, but put that one on the shelf. The first time I took a serious crack at writing was like 2001/02. That went on to become my first published work “Gangsta.”

What did you do before you were a writer?  Whatever I had to not to starve; transpor ng selling weed, heists, it really didn’t ma er at that point. My focal point was to stay above the poverty line.

How many books have you wri en?  To date I have about fi een or sixteen books in print and have been featured in five anthologies.

What is the main source of inspira on for your wri ng?  It’s my passion. When I first started doing it I had a lot of stuff that I needed to get off my chest. As I kept at it I fell head over heels in love with the cra . I’ve re red and unre red about a half dozen mes since I first came into the industry, but realized that I can’t stay away from it. Me not wri ng is like water not flowing downhill.

Is there a place you go for inspira on to write?  I don’t have a set place where I go to write because inspira on can hit me at any given me. There are mes when I’m in the car, stopped at a red light, clicking away on my Blackberry.

Are you reading anything right now?  Right now I’m reading an advanced copy of Ice-T’s new book “Kings of Vicetown.”

What is one food item that you can’t live without?  Fish

What do you like to do when you are not wri ng (hobbies, etc.)?  All I do is write. I really don’t have any hobbies outside of writing and watching movies. I’m a big movie buff.

What advice would you give to those aspiring writers out there?  Become intimate with you craft before you put yourself out there. So many people jump into the arena and profess to be writers without really knowing their asses from their elbows about the art of it. Being a writer should be your way of life, not something you do just to say you did it or because its popular. Your story should be your lover and your best friend.  Research is also key. Explore the ups and downs of it before you jump out there so you have at least an idea of what you’re doing.

Is there anything else about yourself that you would like your readers to know?  I’m not going anywhere any me soon. For as long as God wills me to share my words I will con nue to do so.

What is next for you in 2011?  2011 is going to be a BIG year for me as well as my company B.D.I (Black Dawn, Inc.). I have Gangland dropping in March, Sex Shooter in April and the latest installment of the Hood Rat series Evic on No ce dropping in Sept. Under B.D.I we have Five Star Chick by Tamia Rose dropping in July and Lazarus by Sonny F. Black in October and I may publish one or two more authors in between those releases. My goal is to hit the readers with something new every sixty days or so un l the end of the year then I’m going to take a much needed vaca on. I haven’t had one in years.

How can your readers contact you?  I have two websites Kwanfoye.com or Blackdawnbooks.net. Also via email blackdawnbooks@yahoo.com I’m also on Face Book under K’wan Bdiornothing and K’wan Iamlegend. You can also follow me on twi er @Kwan141 Thank you very much for taking the me out to answer my interview ques ons!

© 2011, Cheryl of Black Diamond's Book Reviews. All Rights Reserved. If you reading this on a

site other than, Black Diamond's Book Reviews, Urban Image Magazine, or Cheryl's feed, be aware that this post has been stolen and is used without permission.

Loving Life—Meet The Beau ful and Talented Zane!

Photo from authors.simonandschuster.com

When I was asked to interview Zane for Urban Image Magazine, I jumped at the chance. Zane is an impressive writer as well as publisher. Not only is she talented, but she really connects with the readers. She really makes herself available to her fans. You can ďŹ nd her on Facebook, which is where I really connected with her. I am always amazed when a big me author like Zane comments on my Facebook posts and takes the me out of her very busy schedule to answer my interview ques ons!

Here is a li le about Zane: Zane is the New York Times bestselling author of, among others, A erburn, The Heat Seekers, the Flava series, and Dear G-Spot. Her television series, Zane's Sex Chronicles, is featured on Cinemax, and her bestselling novel Addicted has been adapted for a ma-

jor mo on picture. She is the publisher of Strebor Books, an imprint of Atria Books/ Simon & Schuster, and lives in the Washington, D.C., area with her family. Visit her website at www.ero canoir.com.

ZANE INTERVIEW First of all Zane, I would like to thank you for taking the me out for this interview!

If you have to describe yourself with one word, what would it be?

Mo vated. I am extremely mo vated to succeed. I always have been.

When did you start wri ng?

For all intents and purposes, I have always been a writer. It is in my blood. Both of my parents are writers (my father has more books in publica on than me), my sister has her masters in Journalism and has worked in the industry for 30+ years, and now even all three of my children are writers. We are a wri ng family.

As a child, I always have a very vivid imagina on, for as far back as I can remember. We didn’t have all of the distrac ons of today, i.e., the Internet, cable, videogames. So when I got red of making mud pies and playing Mother May I and Red Light, Green Light, I made up things to do. I took myself out of the real world and became imaginary people that lived exci ng lives that I did not. That was the beginning.

As far as becoming Zane, that started back in November 1997 when, once again, I was bored. I ďŹ nally started pu ng my thoughts down on paper and that is when the Zane era of my life began.

What did you do before you were a writer?

A lot of things. I majored in Chemical Engineering and English in college with a minor in Computer Science. I was all over the place. When I was offered a job as an engineer in Belle, West Virginia, I realized that was not the life for me. Eventually, I landed in sales. I could sell anything to anybody because I was passionate about whatever I was talking about. Even when that was not the case, I was always sincere. People sensed that and took a chance on me, even when I was selling life insurance. That is one of the most difficult things for anyone to sell. People do not want to discuss mortality so if you can make people feel relaxed with you in that aspect, it is truly impressive. Prior to becoming Zane, I was selling paper. A lot of paper. Seven hundred tons minimum a week, to printers, magazines, and book publishers. There is some irony there because I am probably one of the few authors who knows everything about a book, from the me that a tree is cut down un l it lands on shelves. One could say that I know everything about this industry, from the rooter to the tooter. J

How many books have you wri en?

What’s crazy is that I get the ques on a lot and I have to always think about it. Currently, I have 26 books in publica on but that is not how many I have wri en.

What is the main source of inspira on for your wri ng?

Life, pure and simple. I am one of those people who truly loves life, even the bad moments. I see the beauty in everyone and never judge people at all. I was taught to embrace the differences in others; not fear them. When I sit down to write a book, I always write about whatever I am truly feeling passionate about at that moment. It could be that I have no ced a lot of people was ng valuable me (something you can never get back)—A erburn, or one of my friends has been in an abusive rela onship for more than a decade—Breaking the Cycle, or I feel like women should have the same op ons open to them as men when it comes to rela onships—The Hot Box. It varies and my inspira on is always drawn from a place deep down inside of me. That is the only way that I can formulate the characters and their stories.

Is there a place you go for inspira on to write?

Someplace extremely quiet and secluded. I do not have a specific place that outweighs everywhere else but I have a few places that I favor, including a villa in Cancun, a presiden al suite in Bal more, and a rental apartment in Atlanta. I also like to be surrounded by natural beauty. The ocean can be very soothing and so can the mountains. I am one of those who believes that the world is a big place and that we should all try to see as much of it as possible and get to know as many different cultures as possible.

Are you reading anything right now?

Yes, I read every single day. I can’t imagine a day without reading and I can’t understand a writer who does not read. Stephen King said it best in his book On Wri ng. It is impossible to be able to appreciate good wri ng or to recognize weaker wri ng when you do not read.

Currently, I am reading a lot of submissions. I am trying to fill out my 2012 publica on schedule and move into 2013. We work way ahead in tradi onal publishing. I also do the final read through on any books that I publish, normally in the galley stage. Thus, I am doing that right now with three books that release in the coming months.

I gave some high school students an assignment last week so I am going to read all of their homework papers. Lastly, the submissions process recently ended for Chocolate Flava 3 so I have hundreds of short stories that I must read to select the best for my next anthology.

What is one food item that you can’t live without?

Hmm, that is a tough one because I don’t eat as much as I drink. Soda would be a big issue for me but I have given it up before so it’s not that major. I eat more chicken than

anything else so probably that. I have never been big on sweets so I can go without ea ng dessert for months. Yes, I guess that I would have to say chicken.

What do you like to do when you are not wri ng (hobbies, etc.)?

My all- me favorite thing to do is to spend me with my kids, doing everything or nothing at all. I enjoy plays, concerts, museums, music, movies; prac cally anything crea ve. I plan to become fluent in a new language every single year for the next five years, beginning with Spanish for 2011 so I am working on it. I also enjoy taking what I call “trips to nowhere.” I have been doing that for many, many years, even before I started wri ng. I like to toss everyone in a car and hit the road with no set place as a des na on. I even took a “honeymoon to nowhere” when I got married. We discussed a bunch of elaborate ideas including ren ng a private island but, at the end of the day, we hopped in the conver ble and je ed for 10 days. It was great. I also like to do anything unusual. If someone says, “Let’s go hot air ballooning,” I am the first one ge ng hyped.

What advice would you give to those aspiring writers out there?

To constantly strive for improvement and to make wri ng a daily habit, even if it is only for 15 minutes. Every li le bit counts so when a storyline or idea hits them, write it down; even if that means ge ng up out of the bed to do it. Also, they need to realize that becoming a successful writer takes pa ence and determina on. It rarely, if ever, falls into someone’s lap. A lot of people are under the impression that some are simply luckier than others. I don’t believe that luck has anything to do with it. Some mes it might be a result of being in the right place at the right me but ul mately, it is about being proac ve. If something is for you, it will be for you regardless, but you have to do your part.

Is there anything else about yourself that you would like your readers to know?

Hmm, this is always a tough one for me. Believe it or not, I don’t like talking about myself. I will answer specific ques ons but there is not much that I jump out and reveal. I

will say that I am not what people probably think. Most probably assume that I walk around in s le o heels and lingerie all day. I am really the typical soccer mom; Cub Scout den leader; domes c type of woman. The only other thing that I can honestly say is that I take my wri ng as a big responsibility. It is not about the sex, as so many assume. That is the least important thing in my books but I use it as a catalyst to draw a en on to more significant ma ers. The other day, a young woman emailed me and told me that she did not kill herself because I wrote her an email that day. She did not think that anyone outside of her family cared about her. I told her that I loved her and even though I have never met her, I do love her. We all should love one another. It is such a beau ful thing.

What is next for you in 2011?

I will have two books come out this year, come hell or high water. I have a new cable series premiering next year that I will be making a formal announcement about shortly and I am finally launching my adult toy and lingerie lines. Possible even sexy shoes.

How can your readers contact you?

They can email me at zane@ero canoir.com.

Thank you very much for taking the me out to answer my interview ques ons! © 2011, Cheryl of Black Diamond's Book Reviews. All Rights Reserved. If you reading this on a site other than, Black Diamond's Book Reviews, Urban Image Magazine, or Cheryl's feed, be aware that this post has been stolen and is used without permission.

Hennessey’s Dance News February 2011, ended with the announcement of the new cast of “Dancing with the Stars”. The 12th season is a must see with personali es such as, Wendy Williams, Sugar Ray Leonard, Kirs e Alley, Ralph Macchio, Kendra Wilkinson, Chelsea Kane, Romeo, Mike Catherwood, Hines Ward, Chris Jericho & Petra Nemcova. I’m looking forward to seeing Sugar Ray get down & dirty, and if Romeo has rhythm. I remember him being an uncoordinated li le kid bopping around in music videos with his pop Master P. I’m pu ng my money on talk show host Wendy Williams because she is the queen of all media and a friend in my head. Even if she doesn’t take home the tle, she gets a gold star from me for effort, being that she had made it no secret that she has two le feet and can only dance with her hubby/manager Kevin. Media/blog sites have tapped Kendra Wilkinson former girlfriend to Hugh Hefner, to be the winner this season. I guess with all the stripper pole experience she could be a shoe in... We’ll be watching.

Hennessey’s Movie News Be on the look out for Madea’s Big Happy Family that hit theaters April 22, 2011. Wri en and produced by Tyler Perry, Madea, the say it like you mean it grandma is handing out all types of advice when her niece Shirley is unable to gather her own children Tammy, Kimberly and Byron together to share news related to her health. Cast members include: Tyler Perry, Lore a Devine (Wai ng to Exhale), Shad “Bow Wow” Moss, David Mann, Cassi Davis, Tamela Brown Mann, Lauren London (ATL & Lil Wayne’s baby moma), Isaiah Mustafa, Rodney Perry, Shannon Kane, Teyana Taylor (formerly signed to Star Trek under Pharell & the Neptune’s), and Natalie Desselle Reid.

Hennessey’s Music News Black history month ended with Lil Kim dropping a mix tape tled “Black Friday”. I don’t quite know what to say regarding Ms. Kimberly Jones. Reviews have not been so per the blogs however, I give Kimmy a high 5 for trying to stay relevant. I heard the mix tape via the internet and I would like to advise Kimmy to move on from music and focus her talents on something else. If you take a break now you remain Queen B, if you con nue to try and hang with these young girls I don’t know what will become of your career. Not only does the mix tape suck but reportedly it is available for purchase. Now if you don’t know I will inform you that mix tapes are supposed to be given away for free in an cipa on of your upcoming album *side eye*.

In related news, March 9, 2011, was the 14th anniversary of Christopher many theories surrounding where, what, why, when, & how. Reportedly Lil Kim called Lady T of Talk of the Town 411 detailing her own theory regarding Big’s murder. She claims that she believes it goes beyond Suge Knight (Death Row) and the police depart-

ment; that it was something orchestrated by the government. I’m not sure how I feel about Kim’s comments. Personally I’ve always thought it was an in house job but, that is another discussion for a different day. March opened with the beau ful Marian Carey & her hubby Nick Cannon having a baby shower in Beverly Hills at the Montage Hotel’s Conservatory Grill. Reportedly the couple arrived in a black RollsRoyce given to Mariah by her husband as a Christmas gi . The adult only affair was decorated pink & blue and was a star studded event. Mariah & Nick are expec ng twins (boy & girl) and I could not be happier for them. Many speculated this relaonship wouldn’t last but I think this is a wonderful example of good things happening to good people. “Me & Mariah go back like babies and pacifiers” in my ODB voice.

Self proclaimed bad girl Rihanna has remained front page news for various reasons, the latest being the restraining order placed on Breezy a er their 2009, alterca on has been downgraded. Chris is s ll restrained from annoying, harassing or stalking Rihanna however; reportedly Rihanna’s a orney informed the judge that his client did not oppose allowing the entertainers to be able to speak to one anther. Days a er the downgraded announcement was made, Rihanna was seen shopping for sex toys *side eye*. She has also been working her beauty as cover girl for Vogue & Marie Claire magazine as well as promo ng her new perfume Reb’l Fleur. My opinion: I can’t wait to see how this all works out. Personally I think Chris & Rihanna

were two young, dumb kids that did not know how to properly handle the rela onship they were in. I would put money on the fact that if Rihanna had to do it all over again, it wouldn’t have gone down the way it did. Is it just me or is Rihanna not the role model I expected her to be. Songs like Rude boy & S&M make me wonder if she remembers that her core audience is middle school & high school girls. I’m just saying.

Not so Shocking!!! Whitney Houston & Bobby Brown’s daughter Bobbi Chris na was caught on tape snor ng what appears to be cocaine. Many don’t remember but, pictures surface back in 2008 of ill Bobbie Chris na drinking and smoking cigare es while hanging with a girlfriend. I thought something would have been done then but it was swept under the rug. According to Bobbi Chris na’s twi er page the current pictures were made up by an ex-boyfriend to hurt her. Hmm, I’m s ll trying to figure out how you photo shop snor ng coke.

Hennessey’s Television News Actress Felicia (Snoop) Pearson most remembered from her role as Snoop on the HBO hit show The Wire was arrested March 10, 2011, in Bal more, MD a er a 5 month long drug inves ga on.

This is not Snoop’s first me coming face to face with the law.

When Snoop was 14 years old she was convicted of seconddegree murder and spent 6.5 years at the Maryland Correc onal Ins tu on for Women in Jessup, Maryland. According to Bossip.com Pearson is signed with Tillery Music Group and has been working on her first album tled “Bal more’s Finest,” The album is s ll scheduled for spring release.

Pearson is also working on two films,” Shoot First” with director Charles S. Du on, and an autobiography “Who are you? The Story of Felicia Pearson” with director LenDaniels.

Basket Ball Wives: Shaunie O’Neal former wife of Shaquille O’Neil, Jennifer Williams, soon to be ex-wife of Eric Williams (re red), Evelyn Lozanda, former fiancé to Antoine Walker, Suzie Ketchum, former fiancé to Michael O, Royce Reed, former dancer for Orlando & Miami, Gloria Govan, fiancé of Ma Barnes and newest member Tami Roman, ex wife of Kenny Anderson is tled Basket Ball Wives yet only showcases one wife who is currently going through a divorce. A er a 2nd season of cat fights and tons boughe o (bougie & ghe o mixed) drama between the “Wives” the season ended with Evelyn, who is currently da ng NFL baller Chad Ocho Cinco admi ng to sleeping with Tami formerly from Real World season II’s ex husband. It wasn’t so much that she admi ed it; it was the fact that she told Tami that she was a “Non Mutha Fking Factor”. Once that was said Tami leaped on Evelyn like she was donkey kong. Producer of the show Shaunie O’Neal was on 105.1 morning show and said, she and Evelyn had been Bff’s for years and are very close, she did not know about the rela onship between Tami's ex and Evelyn un l the night of the infamous dinner and she had no part in manipula ng Evelyn into telling Tami. She goes on to say that everyone has signed on for season three and that includes Evelyn & Gloria but no Suzie. Personally this show is packed full of immature drama that I will con nue to watch and talk about. I will say that I once found Evelyn very a rac ve but that po y mouth that has come to light has changed my opinion.

Nene leaks (Real House Wives of Atlanta); cast member of The Appren ce appeared on The Wendy William’s show sta ng that “if Star Jones were on Fire I wouldn’t spit on her”.

This comment le many an cipa ng the new season of The Appren ce but also wondering what could have transpired to

bring on such a comment. A few weeks later Latoya Jackson (Michael’s sister) appeared on The Wendy Williams show & explained to Wendy that she had to agree with Nene Leaks comments regarding Star Jones saying, “ I got along with Star about as well as the people at the View did”. If you haven’t star ng watching this season’s Appren ce, you’ve only missed two episodes and the fireworks between the ladies have not begun yet.

Real House Wives of Atlanta, Phaedra Parks, will be wri ng a book and pitching three reality shows.

During an interview with Radar Online, Phaedra gave the details on the new book of e que e, which she hopes will teach women how to be ladies and the reality docudrama which will take a group of women and empower them as well as a documentary that gives insight on the complex world of da ng. Wow I can’t wait to see what Phaedra has up her sleeve.

All accusa ons or implica ons made in this ar cle are NOT FACT and are for entertainment purposes only. Comments made are solely the opinion of the writer and are not indented to persuade the reader in any way shape or form. Janelle S. Davis A.k.a Hennessy Jones

WHAT UP DAWG?

By Z.E. Brooks “License & Registration Please”

Pet Insurance & Tags – If you think having them for your car is expensive, fear not, for your pet its cheaper & just as important..

Humans have life, health and property insurances to protect all that they have worked for, why not have insurance and assurances for your pets?

To give you an idea on how much of a big deal it is to have “Pet Insurance”, The Embrace Pet Insurance company, www.embracepetinsurance.com has complied the following facts and statistics: In 2008, there were an estimated 800,000 pet insurance policies with a total direct written premium across the industry of $ 272 million dollars. Embrace also states the following: Number of Pets with Pet Insurance Embrace estimates that just 0.3% of the cat and dog population was insured in 2008. This calculation is very simple to do - it is the number of policies in force at the end of the year divided by the to-

tal cat and dog population2. So 800,000 divided by approximately 154 million gives 0.52%. This figure is much lower than the 3% of dogs and 1% of cats that others such as the American Pet Products Association estimate. Embrace believes that these numbers are overstated by survey biases because passionate pet parents respond to surveys at a higher rate than others surveyed.

At a high level though, it just isn't possible for 3% of the dog population and 1% of the cat population to be insured as this would imply a pet insurance industry far larger than reported data indicate. [end quote] Pet Insurance is a safe guard for if your pet is lost, stolen, and sick or needs routine annual checkups. This isn’t just a four legged cuddly piece of nature in your home, this is a family member and like anyone you care about; you’d do what is necessary to give them a safe, happy and healthy life. Now, depending on the breed (less mixed breeds/ mutts)

and the ailments they can be susceptible to, Vet bills (again depending who you go to) can be staggeringly high nearly (2000 dollars) or a nominally low (very rarely but sometimes at least 20 dollars). However, insurance can lighten the blow with you only paying a moderately affordable

Urinary or bladder crystals or blockages

premium annually.

(www.aspcapetinsurance.com)

WHAT’S GOOD? Unlike Human health care, any pet insurance you choose is accepted by ALL vets.

The only coverage you may not have for your pet is for Pre-existing Conditions“.

“Embrace Pet Insurance” (see link above) is one of the most comprehensive insurances I have come across. They cover pets in all 50 states but do not cover the following: Pre-existing Conditions That Embrace Considers Incurable Orthopedic illness or injury on the opposite side of a prior injury.

Allergies Cancer Diabetes Lipomas or skin lumps Hyperthyroidism or hypothyroidism

Other chronic conditions As an advocate for shelter animals and haven been a dedicated volunteer, my featured Premium choice and suggestion would be to go with the ASPCA’s pet insurance.

With over 140 years in animal care and experience, this is the oldest most reliable health insurance for your pet ever. It’s reputation, friendly and knowledgeable staff and informative website will teach your from head to tail what you need to do for your pet. That shameless plug aside, their pet insurance comes in four levels. Depending on what you want, they range from the bare minimum to the fullest coverage, all for only a premium of $100 dollars a year. I recommend that you go for “Level Four” it covers EVERYTHING. (Please see site for details).

Their insurance only covers cats and dogs, for other pets such as birds, reptiles, Guinea Pigs, hamsters and rabbits, you will have to call their 866 number or email them on their site. The great thing about this insurance is that if you have two or more pets, you can save 10% when you enroll them in the same level of coverage. They pay 80% of the usual and customary covered vet charges, which is the highest out of all of the insurances out there. I also recommend that you read their FAQ’s about the 6 myths about Pet Insurance, it is an essential part of your

pets wellbeing and worth the investment.

on where you live, if it’s a “No-Kill” shelter, you have a chance to go there and search, but if it isn’t and they only give the owners 72 hours to claim them, it’s off to being euthanized ( usually by injection) to make room for another lost pet. God forbid your four - legged baby run out that door or gate chasing after other dogs, people or cars and an incident happens; the last thing you want is your pet hurt or lost without secure and informative identification hanging from their collar.

DOG TAGS &

The most popular way today to low- jack your pet is through “Micro chipping”.

It’s a harmless procedure where a chip the size of a grain of rice is implanted just under the skin between the shoulders, activated and monitored by a reputable Chip monitoring agency. Go to: www.boonecountyvet.com for more information on how it works. The ASPCA also has a few to recommend and I suggest you search their site for information as well. After you’ve had your dog or cat vaccinated contact your local animal control agency and ask how much it is for the license fee. I researched random cities for their fees and one report from a lawyer’s office in Indianapolis, IN was one I found a bit shocking, here is a portion of it.

LICENSES & WHY ITS IMPORTANT It’s like running around without your Photo ID but if you’re caught, you’ll get locked up or worse.

We all have seen dogs walking with their owners, off leash, with a leash, with tags and without. Some owners feel it’s unnecessary to have their dog ID’d, “Oh my dog know who he belongs to, he doesn’t run in the street, he doesn’t like leashes, collars or tags etc.” Cavemen ran around in the wild with dogs without worrying about them running off or having a name. They hunted side by side and lived however they wanted. We live in a more civilized and structured time and unless you are a caveperson living in the wild, be smart and get your dog and cat identification. For your state. Despite your pet looking relatively clean, to a cop, its lost or a stray and their first call is to local animal control to take it in to a shelter. Depending

Indianapolis is one of U.S. 30 biggest cities, yet lacks dog license requirements Indianapolis has an unwanted pet problem, and it is growing. The city has been battling to manage the unwanted pet population for quite some time, however, it has also been resistant to mandating a

simple and valuable tool used by every other major U.S. city: pet licensing. Indianapolis has been awarded the dubious title for being the only city out of the nation’s 30 largest to NOT require that a dog be registered or licensed by their owner. This new title is not one that anybody wants to keep, especially not Indianapolis' animal shelter employees. The Indianapolis Animal Care and Control agrees fully with dog owners being required to register their dogs. The city even had a licensing ordinance up until 1998, yet the ordinance was dropped due to the cost of enforcing and the blatant disregard by a majority of the dog owners to license their pets.

When this ordinance was eliminated, a dog license was $5 and there were about 30,000 dogs licensed out of an estimated population of 150,000 dogs in the city of Indianapolis. This breaks down to about 1 out of every 5 dogs in the city at the time being registered.

When the licensing ordinance was eliminated, it was replaced with a much simpler system that required dogs to wear ID tags or identification of some sort.

This met a lot of criticism because it was not solving or rectifying the problem.

The purpose of licensing ordinances is that they can usually help not only to reunite pet owners and pets when they become separated, but it can also help to curb the unwanted pet overpopulation. Licensing usually encourages owners to have their dogs spayed or neutered, because most programs offer significantly lower licensing fees for ‘fixed’ animals. A recent study found that on

average, cities that require licensing of pets charges about $15 for ‘fixed’ pets and $75 for dogs that have not been spayed or neutered. Some of the cities surveyed give discounts to owners who microchip their pets as well. A microchip is a small computer chip loaded with the owner’s who microchip their pets as well. A microchip is a small computer chip loaded with the owner’s contact information that is placed under the pet’s skin, and when scanned can help return a lost pet to their owner. Another benefit of having a dog that is licensed or micro-chipped, is being able to track down the owner and hold them responsible for any attack or bite that may occur while the dog is on the run.

All too often, a child or individual will be bitten by a dog without identification and the owner escapes liability.

To further explain why licensing is so important, in 2008, the Indianapolis Animal Care and Control Division issued almost 1,300 tickets to dog owners due to lack of identification. The Animal Care and Control Department doesn't believe that this is even a fraction of how many dogs are actually without proper tags, especially considering the number of stray and lost dogs in the city.

As a result, hundreds and thousands of dogs end up being euthanized at the Indy Animal Care and Control because they go unclaimed. About 60% of the animals that the shelter takes in, end up being euthanized and in 2008, only about 10% of the dogs that the shelter took in were reunited, or 1,300 of the over 11,000 dogs. However, some dogs are not even that lucky to make it to the

shelter. With so many loose and stray dogs in the city, there is about a 24hr waiting period for animal control officers to respond. During this time, the dog may get hit by a car, wander further away, or possibly bite an unsuspecting individual.

The long response time is also likely connected to the ever increasing number of dog bites. The city of Indianapolis had over 700 bites recorded in 2006 and in 2008, the number had risen to almost 1,100.

Compared to Nationwide averages, a pet owner in Indianapolis is about 3 times less likely to get their dog back if it goes missing or is lost. In other parts of the state such as South Bend and Fort Wayne, pet licensing systems have been put into use effectively. South Bend offers owners discounts for micro-chipping and sterilizing their pets as well. The result is visible, as the shelters report receiving about 25% of their animals with identification of some sort. Indianapolis is about 15%. In Fort Wayne, similar campaigns have seen visible results as well. The current charge for a spayed or neutered pet is $5 vs. an unaltered dog which cost $100 to register. Source: Keller & Keller, Accident attorneys of Indianapolis, IN Fees are less for spayed and neutered cats and dogs, considerably less for those owned by senior citizens. In addition, don’t forget to renew, the issuing agency will notify you when its time.

Getting your dog completely “Official” is a very important part of being a responsible pet owner. As long as you have your pets’ information and protection in order, you’ll have nothing to worry about.

Please remember also to get secure collars and leashes. I recommend harness collars that fit around the shoulders and chest rather than the typical neck leash.

Dogs naturally pull and have a relatively high pain tolerance but they can damage their upper spines and throats with the traditional collars. The following links are where you can find the proper collars and dog tags as well as other items for your pets.

HELPFUL LINKS: For all your pet food, dog training & supply needs: www.petsmart.com www.petco.com For no frills, Affordable, dog/cat tags – www.loveyourpets.com - $3.95 for 1 + 1.50 for Shipping & Handling Customized Pet Tags: www.terrificpets.com – This fun site allows you to customize tags, two sizes, four shapes & 6 colors. All tags are 4.95 each, Free Shipping, double-sided engraving is 6.45@ For Fancier Pet collars & tags: www.hotdogcollars.com More than 25 categories if you click on “Theme” Collars: Personalized, Sports fans, most every ethnic group (i.e. Jamaican, Irish), girly, blingy tags, NFL, NCAA, MLB, Plain and Designer Leather. They also sell designer and theme tags and leashes. Prices start at 7.99, leather collars can be as much as 35.00 - Z.B.

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CBeauty Art Column for Urban Image Magazine

By Christopher Brown Urban Image Magazine would like to welcome all our readers to another highly celebrated issue of the hottest magazine in the industry.

As you know my name is Christopher Brown, writer for the CBeautyArt Column for UIM. This month I am here to introduce you to Brandi “YoungDiva” Purcell who is more then just a beautiful face!

This “YoungDiva” is hitting the industry hard with her pure talent and beauty, all combined into one fabulous package.

Starting her dance career at a very young age, her accomplishments can stand up against any well seasoned dancer in the industry! Brandi has been dancing for 9 years and her genre of dance spans very wide! Her techniques include Pointe, Ballot, Hip Hop, Jazz and Tap. Her exciting dance style won her a feature in Taz’s music video, “Shoe Game Stupid”.

This “YoungDiva” was a cheerleader for 4 years and has competed in numerous dance competitions and excels at everything she takes part in! This year 2011 she served as Sub-Debutante, and will be for sure the Debutante Queen of 2012.

Brandi “YoungDiva” Purcell is on her way to the top! Her modeling interests include runway, print, commercial and music videos. So if you haven’t seen her on the scene, you will for sure see her in the future! I would like to wish Brandi continued success in the genre of art she creates for our pleasure.

For more information regarding Brandi “YoungDiva” Purcell go to www.CBeautyArt.com

STAY TUNED FOR UPCOMING ARTISTS!

ASK SHARIFAH GOOGLE’S #1 BUSINESS CONSULTANT Written By Daddy Rich

One morning I was surfing Facebook and I sent an inbox to a well respected business consultant: “Hey, what exactly do you do? I’m not sure what your area of exper se is , but I made myself a note to contact you and I’d like for us to network.” This par cular consultant then went on her page and roasted me for not taking the me to do my homework on her before I approached her.

Some of her friends joined in on the barbeque adding their opinions on the way I approached her. I’m a man before I’m anything so I stood up for myself and told the lady, “Look, I don’t play games, I’m straight forward and honest. I didn’t know what your area of experse was…. so, I asked. I’m sorry if I disrespected you. Some of the people on Facebook spoke up in my defense telling the lady she should’ve appreciated my honesty and been grateful of the fact that I took not of her professionalism.

Then, there was Sharifah who said: “Thanks for your opinion in this feed. Your page is always informa ve and thanks to you I’ve found a new friend. I didn’t know who Sharifah was or what she meant. Then, I no ced that I had a new message in my inbox. It was Sharifah. It was an invita on to network and she’s been giving me advice every since.

My point is that Sharifah has an eye for promising ventures and she has the ability to turn poten al into success. This sista can talk to you for 15 minutes and look through your website and tell you everything you’re doing right and everything you’re doing wrong. I don’t think ya’ll understand me. I spent a few minutes on the phone with Sharifah and she gave me a li le piece of advice that took Urban Image Magazine from not being found on Google searches to taking up the first few pages of the search results in a few days. I though to myself, damn! If she can make Urban Image Magazine stand out like that in just one phone call, I wonder what she could do if she was on my team for real. Sharifah has been around for a few months keeping her eyes on my progress and finally, we sealed the deal for her to do marke ng and consul ng for Urban Image Magazine. An cipa on was killing me. I was dying to see what the results would be like. The next morning my wife informed me that our fan page grew 1,200 people…. Overnight!

SO, she in now on board to handle my marke ng for my publishing company, Gangsta-lit.com. I cant wait to see how she takes off running with my companies strapped to her back. Keep your eyes open and watch my progress. Sharifah is the new monster behind me. She’s a hustler. Anyone who goes from laid off to Google’s #1 business consultant is definitely a hustler.

She got red of taking orders and being laid off. She decided to take her and her kids future in her own hands. Now she’s the BOSS! She’s been where most of us are at, trying to start a business. If you have any quesons on how to make it happen, ask Sharifah. That’s what I do, real talk.

Every me I talk to her I have a pen and pad ready to take notes. When she talks, I listen. I give her my undivided a en on because every li le piece of advice she has given me has proven to be valuable. And now you have the opportunity to benefit from her knowledge through this column. Take advantage of it. If there is anything you want to know about marke ng, public rela ons, etc. Ask Sharifah.

Real Talk with Daddy Rich Real talk, for those of us who are located behind walls and fences, and for those of us who have recently been released, we need to realize one thing… WE GOTTA GO GET IT! While incarcerated, they teach us to prepare ourselves to return to society and get a job. In all actuality, who’s gonna hire us? I mean for real, you got “good law abiding ci zens” with college degrees and good records who cant get a decent job to support their families.

Everyday on the news, sources like CNN reports that the job market is down and unemployment is constantly on the rise. So who’s gonna give a young to middle aged black man with two or the felonies with 47 ta oos a job? And I mean a job! The type with benefits that can support a wife and a few kids. So what, You learned a trade before you got out. There’s hundreds of people in your area with the same skills looking for the same job, and they got a clean record. Real talk, who do you think they gonna give the job to?

Look in the classifieds , “No Felonies” is wri en in bold le ers in almost every ad that pays more than minimum wage. All that’s le is pizza joints, fast food and temp services. I don’t know about ya’ll, but Pizza Hut and Wendy’s ain't gonna be able to pay my bills and feed all of my kids. I ain't sayin this to discourage you, I’m sayin this to change your way of thinkin. WE GOTTA GO GET IT! Instead of tryin to find out how to go get a job with the hea ng and air condi oning trade you got in the joint, you have to start thinking; “how can I start my business with the hea ng and air condi oning trade I got in the joint?” We have to prepare ourselves to be independent. Ain’t nobody gonna give us nothin.

The department of correc ons is se ng us up for failure. They sell us the dream that we can just walk out of prison and get a job. We come home with our degrees and cer ficates, searching for employment. Once discouragement, mixed in with your baby mama and the court system stressin you about child support and the rent man want his money. Our ins nct takes over and we get it the way we know how to get it. We resort to making money the way we used to out of despera on. It’s only a ma er of me before we catch a new case and up right back in the joint. It would seem like once we “pay our debt to society” we’d have a clean slate and be able to compete for jobs on a level playing field. Instead we’re met with discrimina on and they wonder why we go back to a life of crime. See, they don’t want the recidivism rate to drop. (I’ll break all that down next month) We have to think of way to create our own jobs cause ain’t nobody gonna give us one.

Real Talk

Daddy Rich

Proposed Solu ons

 Raise awareness, take responsibility for ourselves and get ready for the job market once we hit the bricks.

 Pe on for some type of bill where we don’t have to disclose our convic on and discrimina on against felons would be illegal. (I mean, I can understand why they won’t let nobody who illegally transferred $250 into their account work at a bank. And I don’t think child molesters should be able to work at a daycare. Okay, okay, okay I’ll be fair. I have several drug offenses on my record, they probably shouldn’t let my black ass work within a ten mile radius of a pharmacy. Then I would have a big zip lock bag filled with pills, so many colors you’d think I had a bag of sweet tarts and ski les. I’m just playin.

 Develop a bill where it’s mandatory for each state to provide jobs for felons upon release from prison. Decent jobs with benefits. Hell, they contract us out for work while we’re incarcerated, pimpin us, payin us 50 cents to $1.20 an hour while they’re being paid $8 to $12 an hour for our labor. Why cant they contract some work for us when we get out?

 Create a bill that will require the department of correc ons to provide a prac cal college curriculum relevant to the current job market for example, the facility I’m in offers a degree in general arts. The curriculum consist of courses like English, physical educa on, music apprecia on, world religion and geography. Just useless! It’s like an enhanced high school course. You cant apply a general arts degree to runnin fries at McDonalds. We need training we can put to use.

Sh'Moore shares a story of love, loss and new beginnings.

Coming soon her ďŹ rst novel, "A Lover's Redemp on" When me brings a divide between vows, God has a plan for man's decep on.

Author Sh'Moore leaves her readers to ques on the outcomes of entangled lives.

A er the dust se les...

Will Shamia come clean? Will Stephan realize his faults? Will Devion move on?

The lives of these characters become entangled as one woman steps out in search of what she isn't ge ng at home.

Coming soon: "A Lover's Redemp on" Preorder your copy today! h p://shmoore.net/

Saving money with couponing

By Tia Tappan

With the economy still in a recession, rising gas and food prices, people everywhere are looking for ways to save money. Though this method of saving money isn’t new, couponing is becoming more popular than ever, especially with the younger generations.

Twenty-four year old graduate student Michelle Hinson has been couponing for seven years, and she says she has noticed significant savings when she compares her spending with shopping with coupons versus shopping without coupons.

“I save about $15 per week when I use coupons,” Hinson says.

“I get $35 worth of groceries from Earthfare for like 20 bucks.”

Michael Thompson, II, a 28-year-old mechanical engineer says he started couponing in 2005, after graduating from college.

“When you get a real job, you start counting your money,” Thompson says. “For me, the savings depend on what kind of item it is. I spend about $220 on groceries. When I use coupons, I save about $15 to $20 so I only notice a savings of about seven to ten percent,” Thompson says.

How Couponing Works Getting started with couponing is easy. The most traditional way to coupon is going through the Sunday newspaper. Hinson and Thompson both say that the Sunday paper is where they get the bulk of their coupons.

“You can find coupons for items other than food, like cleaning supplies, dental floss, toilet paper, tampons and toothbrushes,” Hinson says.

Some department and grocery stores alike offer coupon books that customers can use on items that they purchase while shopping in the store that day.

Subscribing to some of your favorite stores on-line is a great way to get coupons and take advantage of special deals. Even local grocers offer subscriptions. Grocery stores like BI-LO and Publix send subscribers weekly emails updates about special deals.

On-line coupon sites have become very popular and are great because consumers can print off multiple coupons and use them multiple times. Groupon.com is couponing site that collects all of the deals from vendors –ranging from car maintenance and repair to restaurants- in your area and post the deals on their Website as well as social networking sites. Subscribers also receive daily emails about deals in their area, or you can sign up to see what deals are available in any city in the country. Subscribers do have to purchase the coupons, however there are some free coupons available.

Tips on How to Use Coupons Clipping and printing the coupons is the first and relatively easy step. But there’s an actually science to couponing. Couponing has to be strategic in order to get the most bang for your buck.

Plan for the day that you go shopping by creating a list of all the items you plan to buy. Next, look for coupons for items that are on your list. The key to saving money with coupons is to use them on items that you’d normally buy, instead of using them to try new items.

“I find that keeping a grocery list really does help when I use coupons,” Hinson says. “Also, be sure to read the coupons. Some of them are tricky in their wording, especially the ‘Save a dollar when you buy 3’, because you can actually end up spending more. I recommend cou-

pons that are for free items.”

“Double coupons are good,” says Thompson. Double are those in which the store will take your coupon and match the value of it up to a certain amount. For example when a consumer brings in a $1 coupon to use, the store will give you $2 off your purchase instead of just $1(Couponing101.com) If you like to dine out, look for coupons at your favorite eateries in the paper, as well. Restaurants are always running promotions and deals on meals. “I especially like the coupons from Chick-Fil-A. Those are great coupons,” Thompson says.

Hindrances to couponing include not having enough time to not wanting to appear “cheap”. Hinson says that the money saved when using coupons far outweighs the time it takes to clip them.

“It’s definitely worth it. Couponing doesn’t take that much time,” says Hinson.

“I think coupons are for the opportunist,” Thompson says providing a different perspective. “You may as well use a coupon if you have it, but I wouldn’t go looking for coupons, because it does take time. And if the savings aren’t significant, then I wouldn’t worry about it.”

For more information about couponing, including tips and organization, visit www.couponing101.com.

Men don’t think with their “lil heads,” we think with our egos.

BY Deouan Wilson I can imagine the thoughts that went through your head a er you read the tle.

Some of you had a “WTF?” moment, while most of you quickly disregarded the concept all together. The no on that, "the evil that men do," doesn't derive from behind their zipper is hard to grasp for most. But before you think I’m crazy, give me the opportunity to dispel this misconcep on about us men.

The best place to start would be with the reasoning behind why most people (especially woman,) believe that we think with our buddy; the fact that sex, either discreetly or blatantly, is the center of our universe. I would be the first man to admit that we are sexual monsters. There’s no discoun ng that most of the things we do, from the cars we buy, to the clothes we wear, to how we take care of our bodies, is all to catch the eye of that beau ful, bow-legged mommy in the Jimmy Choo s le os. And once we do catch their eyes, you can bet the farm that we’ll want to engage in some sinful deeds as soon as possible. Now I’m not going to touch on what tends to happen once the deed is done, that’s a different ar cle. What I will touch on though, is the fact that most believe that all of the aforemen oned ac ons were due in part to the fact that we’re led solely by our “member.” But lets think about that for a second. If were we led by our joint, we could repeatedly have sex with the same woman and would be totally sa sfied by it; sex is sex. That galac c "explosion" that we work so hard to achieve is unbiased; it doesn't

see color, or weight or beauty. We wouldn't have to chase behind others because what we have would be sufficient. Having said that, its safe to assume that there must be something else driving our need to conquer every single woman that ckles our fancy and that “something else” is our ego.

The ego is defined as, “a person as thinking, feeling,

and willing, and dis nguishing itself from the selves of others and from objects of its thought.” Obviously we could go deeper into what exactly the ego is, but in the simplest terms, it is a thought process in which we define ourselves and set ourselves a part from others. If you really think about it, the male ego is responsible for the rise and fall of empires, the most recent stock market crash and the increased profitability of male enhancers. Lets keep it a buck: We always want more!

As with any thought process, it can be distorted by outside influences. I can remember growing up in Brooklyn and listening to the OG’s talking smack as they played Dominos. The conversa on was usually about women, more specifically, how much loving they were ge ng from those women. Unfortunately, a lot of men learn at an early age that they should define their manhood by how many notches they have on their belt. You are o en considered “the man” if you’re sleeping with a lot of women and when other men give you props for that, guess what? You’re going to sleep with more women. And since John is ge ng the props that Harry wants, Harry is going to start sleeping with as many women as possible as well. When you’re younger, trying to achieve this tle got you in a lot of trouble. That cocktail of young stupidity and raging hormones always lead to a slew

of fights, father’s trying to kill you and most of the broken hearted love songs you hear on the radio now. You would think that as you get older, things would improve and it would if we were thinking with our pecker. Men tend to get worse as we get older because as we lose our prowess our ego gets more involved. So not only do we have to prove to others we “s ll got it,” we now have to prove it to ourselves.

Men are natural hunters and we enjoy the spoils of our endeavors. That’s why even today, we s ll hunt for game and not for survival. These days, instead of spears, clubs and rocks being our preferred weapons of choice, we use jewelry, cars and our sexual prowess to conquer our prey and once we’ve defeated you, it’s on to the next. Our "tool" is nothing more than a tool that’s used by our ego and once women realize that we’re driven by what’s between our ears and not what between our legs, they wont have to ask, “I don’t know why he's ac ng like this?” To dismiss our reckless ac ons as just, "He's just thinking with his other head," is really le ng us off the hook. Once you've set a defined answer to a ques on, there is no room for discussion. But when you realize that we think with our ego, you can start to find out why he's defining his manhood by quan ty, instead by how well he can treat one woman.

So there you have it, men are nothing more than ego-driven cavemen who need to be beaten over the head with their own clubs. By no means do I think that this will change your percep on of us, but hopefully the next me a man gets out of line, you’ll think he’s thinking with the head with the brain in it and not the one in his pants.

Author Deouan Wilson’s books can be purchased at www.crownheistpublishng.com

Ryan’s job was the same as al-

before the job was supposed to

ways; find a mark, seduce her into

take place, he disappeared.

giving him whatever he needed

But what no one knew was

and then his crew of criminals will

the Ryan’s father is a very im-

take care of the rest. He chose

portant man, who knows very im-

Shannon, a waitress with the in-

portant people. He sent Dylan, a

nocence of an angel within her

man known by his clients as “The

smile and the secrets of a sinner

Magician,” to find out what hap-

behind her eyes. This was sup-

pened to his son.

posed to be rou ne for him, but

A er careful inves ga on,

there’s nothing rou ne about

Dylan learns that the answer to

finding

Their

Ryan’s disappearance lies within

chance mee ng became a love

the stack of sex tapes in his bed-

affair filled with ero c highs, emo-

room befi ngly tled, The Flesh

your

soulmate.

onal lows and soulful awakenings. It soon created a ri

be-

tween Ryan and his crew and days

Sessions.

His

inquisi ve

eyes

weren’t prepared to watch what he saw…and neither is yours.

Dear Emiaj, I'm having an issue and maybe I'm overreac ng but I need some advice. My other half told me last week that he was thinking about pu ng in an applicaon back home (his home) in DC. I know that he is unhappy with the dept. he works with because he expresses it every day and he has headaches from his job. I guess I didn’t believe he would really put in the applica on. I no ced that he has not renewed his lease to his apartment and today he says that he has come to the decision to put in an applica on and move to Charlo e. Charlo e is 2 hrs. away and it is long distance to me! He says it is not and he is making a compromise. All of my rela onships have been with military men and law enforcement with either long distance or crazy hours. THEY NEVER WORK, especially long distance. We barely see each other now being 30 mins away but have go en be er with these hours. What do I do? I want what's best for him and I don't want to be selfish but I'm not happy about this move.

ASK EMIAJ

“Searching for Answers”

Dear “Searching for Answers”, This is a situa on where you both need to sit down and have an open dialog.

Which you all already have but it needs to go deeper. He is very unhappy in his current work situa on but he is willing to compromise for you. One is that he chose to stay in the same state as you verses moving to Washington DC. A two hour trip is always be er than six hour trip. Two, he loves you enough to come to you and say "hey I have been thinking about making some changes and I want to run it by you". That shows he thinks about what you are feeling.

I want you to ask yourself the following ques ons. Do I see myself spending my life with him? Is this the man I plan to grow old with? Am I willing to go the distance for our love? If you answered yes to any of those ques ons I will say go for it. Love will conquer that scared feeling and that unsure feeling.

I will not tell that this easy task but it is a task that can be handled. There are three key components that you have to have. 1) Trust 2) Honesty 3) Communica on... With those you will do fine… Time is your main concern it is possible meet half way take weekends, coordinate some weekends away..! *I hope everything works out for you* Emiaj AskEmiaj@gmail.com

Shut up and Listen!

So, ladies, you have the man you want. He is yours, exclusively and you are his. However, the euphoria of new love is slowly starting to pass….now what? It’s no surprise that in those first stages of a relationship, both parties listen. We listen to figure out the ins and outs of the other’s mind. We listen to “learn them”. We listen to pick up on their quirks and traits and to see what makes them tick! We listen to find out their history and get a glimpse of their future. We listen to see if they are who we want, and if we can be what they like. We actually listen!

But, sometime after that, communication becomes hit and miss. We begin to spend an equal amount of time explaining and pretending we hear them. As women, we are first to accuse a brotha of not listening when we are having a “discussion”argument! We may not raise our voices or use vulgarities, but in the same ways our efforts fall upon deaf ears. Why is that? It’s because listening is a dual party task.

Say what? It is true….in order to listen, it takes the efforts of two beings. The first person must listen with a purpose for hearing, and the second party must speak with a clearly stated and intentional message to be heard.

Many ladies have a tendency to start off a discussion about the tone he used when he answered us, which then leads to the statement about not being his kid, which then leads to the fact that his baby mama crosses the line, which then leads to the accusation that maybe he allows her to cross the line in more than one way.

Somebody is reading this thinking, “What’s wrong with that?” Everything and nothing at all.

Male translation: “Tone? I just asked her why did she have my phone? I thought maybe it had rung. I wasn’t even trippin. Lines? Awww hell! Now she gotta bring Shay into this. Why every time we have a problem she has to bring up my past?”

Recognize the problem here? If he is thinking about all this noise while you are talking, what has he even heard? Did he know what to listen for? Was it ever made clear what the discussion was about? Did the speaker stay focused on her real issue? Is there another issue that is used as a secret weapon rather than a separate resolvable predicament?

As with life, growth and prosperity….maintenance takes maturity. One must be mature when he/she realizes that he/she wants to maintain a relationship and find

the methods that are direct. It isn’t easy, and it does require work…but so does our paycheck and that piece of paper has limits that our significant other must supply…but, it’s so worth it! Just some things to try: 1. State your issue before you go on a tirade. “Baby, I have a problem with the tone you used.”

2. Consider your baby’s time and feelings. They do matter. “Can we talk about this now?”

3. Accept the answer you get as the true feelings of your significant other. Always remember you could be on the other side of the discussion. “Okay. I can wait, but I do want to address this soon.”

4. Girl, stay on topic, and quit bringing up stuff that was in existence before you OR that you have already accepted! His baby mama and kids…all were there first and they matter!

5. Don’t belittle him if you don’t want to be treated that way back. Human nature… act like you know.

6. Know when to say when…If that horse is dead…QUIT BEATING IT! If he says, “I didn’t realize it. I apologize.” Then…DJ drop that ish! Let it go!

7. Respectfully walk away and allow both parties time to process. Come back together, and inform the other of what you heard, and what the solution should be.

8. Suck it up if your feelings are hurt. Especially if he handled everything correctly.

Be happy he is discussing your issues WITH you, and not with his sideline mic checka!

9. Perfect practice makes perfect…so never stop trying to listen and speak with purpose! Mature and Maintain.

10. Endurance wins in the end! Stick it out homegirls and homeboys! In the face of Pepsi Cola commercials in 2K11 and in reflection of our first lady Michelle Obama….Fam it is time Black Love Evolved! Moving to higher ground!

-Sh’Moore not a rela onship specialist, but a Rela onship Realist

How not to marry a Jerk/Jerke e

By Emiaj Ahdai

What is a jerk? A jerk is selfish, manipula ve man or woman who has control issues.

They o en treat you as if you are nothing. Also when it comes to others they have a lack of respect for their thoughts and opinions. What they may say is perceived as their law. Do you know someone like this? If so you probably chose to overlook it and see pass the imperfec on and/or tried to change it. Not many jerks can be changed.

I sat in on a workshop discussing just this. Why did I take this workshop? I am a single and never been married woman. I want to know exactly what I am ge ng into before I actually do. You can actually learn from others life experiences even going through your own life, so that you also do not make the same bad decisions. The other women and men in this workshop come from being married mul ple mes to currently separated from their current spouse. The ages ranged from 29-55 for both men and women. Imagine being in your 50’s and just now learning that you have married three jerks or jerke e. This is something that people should have already learned at some point. I am going outline something when it comes to finding out if you are marring this so-called jerk. When you are da ng someone you are simply da ng their representa ve. The real person usually shows up years into the marriage. This is what we don’t want to happen. Here is five ways to know that you really know someone.

The acronym is F.A.C.E.S. F- Is for FAMILY: How much do you know about this person’s family. Have you ever sat down and watched how they interact with their family members? Do they have a family founda on that you want to be a part of? Are their family values the same as yours?

A-is for ATTITUDE: Are they responsible for their ac ons? When you are having a conversa on are they easily offended? Does this person always have funkiness about them when they get around other people. This person may not be a good people person and these s into to having good rela onship skills.

C-is for COMPATIBILITY : How much do you all have in common? Not just in the bedroom but personality wise. Not saying you have all the same interest but have some.

I know people say that opposites a ract but opposites s ll have something in common.

E-is for EXAMPLE: Ask ques ons. What are some examples of past rela onship?

Why did you divorce the first me? If you all were together for so long why didn’t you marry?

S- Is for SKILLS: What type of rela onship skills does she/he have? How has their friendships worked out, can they be your best friend as well.

With those five steps to knowing someone you will be able to weed out those who belong and who do not. This would take you into the rela onship a achment model, which we are going to call RAM. In this process you will see how this person really fits into your life now that you know them.

First you have to know them person. If you have successfully moved through F.A.C.E.S then you know them. If any piece is missing then you have not been successful. Example, if you have never met his/her family, then you don’t know that person at all. I have found that you never really know a person but you keep learning from and vice versa. This is a good thing because rela onships are con nuously growing and moving forward.

Second, can you now trust this person? Is he or she worthy of your trust? There are

two ways of giving your trust. One, you can give all your trust as a gi all at once and then once betrayed you take it all back from a person. Two, you give your trust a li le bit at a me but once betrayed you take it all back all at once from a person. Which one are you?

With that trust you have to be able to allow them to be their person. Let them go out with friends without you some mes. This is just fine. If you know them you can trust them.

Third, can you rely on this person? Ask yourself the following ques ons; can I depend on you to be there when I need you to listen? Did she/he ask me about my day and listened? This is from an emo onal stand point but it also does include the financial. Can this person communicate with you when it comes to the bills? Fourth, is this person willing to commit to me? Are they willing to go the distance with you? I know there are some people who wish to stay boyfriend and girlfriend and really don’t want to be married. They s ll have a level of commitment that they have and they are sa sfied. Now if you wish to marry then this needs to be discussed not assumed by anyone. Each party should have stated their views by this point.

Lastly, the physical comes into play. Yes sex is last. I know you are saying why this is last. Well if you really want to be in a long term rela onship you should not lead with your body. It can be moved but it should never be first before knowing someone. I will admit that I made these same mistake years ago, but as I got older I realized that I was going about things the wrong way.

Hopefully, there is something that someone can take away from this piece. I know I received some great informa on and saw how others have overcome obstacles. I want to thank Dr. Sebrina Cook-Davis for allowing me to sit in on her workshop. She works with the Family Life Counsel in Greensboro, NC. If you would like to get in contact with her please email me at AskEmiaj@gmail.com.

For the past ten years, William Rucker sat in a jail cell, thinking of only one thing; revenge. Once an infamous killer for a crime conglomerate and now just an urban legend, Rucker is hell-bent on bi ng the hand that once fed him, the same hand that sent him up. His plan is simple; take out Gavin, the “Prince” of the city and former best friend, jump on a Greyhound and disappear. That’s not an easy task considering that Gavin’s father Lucious, a former preacher, runs New York’s underworld whose es runs from the gri y streets of Brooklyn, to City Hall.

Now back on the streets with redemp on on his mind, Rucker must now come to grips with the one thing he didn’t plan on: reuni ng with his family. With a woman who has never le his side and a nine-year old daughter who’s a younger version of him, Rucker has a choice to make. Will he take advantage of the second chance he’s been given or will the love of the trigger overcome him?

Author Deouan Wilson’s books can be purchased at www.crownheistpublishng.com

MASTURBATION *Not just for kids* I want to discuss the o en ignored and taboo topic of masturba on because I feel that too many women are missing out on the benefits of this self imposed bliss. Why? One of the reasons could be that a lot of women are too shy to talk about it. Amazingly, I know women that feel comfortable openly admi ng to trying every sexual posi on ever published on the pages of Cosmo.

Anal, oral, ver cal, horizontal, upside down, or right side up, it’s all good. Ménage a trios, or ménage a quatre, what the hell? You only live once, right?

However, the topic of a ménage a uno get’s no love. As women we have come a long way in terms of our sexuality. We can have sex with who we want, when we want....for the most part. However there is s ll a s gma a ached to something as simple as touching ourselves. This reluctance to talk about self s mula on may be the reason that some women just don’t get it...or do it. There are many benefits to masturba on that shouldn’t be so easily dismissed. So let’s talk.

Masturba on involves ge ng to know yourself. I mean really ge ng to know yourself. Babies and young children explore their own bodies seeking informa on and pleasure without. What about you? You ain’t too grown. Touching yourself is a great way to discover what really gives you pleasure. Empower yourself with this knowledge and you can take your next sexual encounter with a partner to new heights. Different women find pleasure or orgasm different ways. Some women benefit from clitoral s mula on. Other women can only orgasm through vaginal penetra on. S ll others find s mula on of the nipples

extremely pleasing alone or in combina on with the clitoral s mula on or vaginal penetra on. Hoping that your current or next partner will help you figure it out is sort of a hit or miss way of approaching your sexuality. Seriously ladies, it’s 2011. Do you know where your G-Spot is?

Are you feeling a li le up ght? Are you a li le depressed or premenstrual? Don’t reach for the chocolate just yet. Masturba on can boost your mood by releasing the same feel good, mood eleva ng hormones without packing on the pounds or the guilt. It also induces endorphins like a visit to the gym.

It is also a great tension tamer and stress reliever when your wound up to sleep.

Imagine reaping some of the benefits of chocolate and working out without the calories or the sweat? All of that and a good night’s sleep too? What a fabulous concept for today’s busy woman that likes to maximize her me.

Masturba on is a safe way to relieve sexual tension without actually engaging in sex. This comes in handy when you don’t actually have a suitable partner available. Who hasn’t been guilty of par cipa ng in the random hookup at least once simply to scratch a kinky itch? Booty-calls are just what the name implies. They generally consist of convenient hook ups with someone that may be inconvenient in every other way. Unfortunately standards drop almost as quick as pan es at three in the morning when certain urges strike. A man’s pedigree suddenly isn’t as important as his penis. For many characters, their penis may be the only thing that they have going for them. We know it’s a bad idea, but there we go reaching for that phone. Do I have to list how many ways that can go wrong? Not only are we selling ourselves short or risking our emo onal health, but we are risking our physical health as well. Let’s face it. There are probably sexual infec ons floa ng around that don’t even have names yet. Unfortunately not all of these STD’s can be avoided by using a condom. Ok, maybe our judgment is so colored by simple physical need that we don’t take the me to con-

sider the possible cost. We may even say damn the consequences. There is s ll no guarantee that your Dial-a-Dick will get the job done correctly. When the next urge strikes, maybe some of us should consider reaching for a vibrator instead of the telephone. At least when you engage in this safest of the safe form of sex there are no unforeseen messy complica ons or STD issues and you know that you can hit the ball out of the park every me.

Masturba on is not just for “women who ain’t got nobody”. Masturba on can be a solo ac vity, or it can be an experience shared with a partner. Masturbaon can be a brilliant addi on to sex. It can be used before sex to visually s mulate your partner. It can be used during sex to physically s mulate yourself. Masturba on can even be used a er sex if things didn’t exactly go according to plan.

In which it can be u lized as a useful visual aide for a game of “Show and Tell” that should have came sooner.

I know that I have only touched on the p of the vibrator. There are so many other benefits that I haven’t even men oned such as masturba on warding off common infec ons by s mula ng the immune system. Fuck an apple a day. Fingers, vibrators, dildos, astro-glide, astro-lube, or clitoral enhancement gel, it’s all good. Knock yourself out. So kick back with a glass of wine, put T’Boz’s “Touch Myself” on repeat and try tracing the le ers of the alphabet in a place that you’ve never considered before. Not only is it sexy and healthy, but masturba on is one of the most produc ve and fulfilling ac vi es that you can par cipate in with your favorite person--you.

By Dionne Hubbard-Ross

Olivia Meets Deuce

By Tillie Wells

Part 1 New York City is an extremely busy city. Millions of people reside here. The streets are jam-packed with people driving cars. The sidewalks are jam-packed with people. It is always noisy with people screaming expletives out of their car windows at careless drivers. People are honking their car horns at any little incident and I'm stuck here in the jungle for a while; or at least for six months of my job assignment.

I have to find me a place to live far from the maddening crowd. I've been looking for a week now. My company is pretty great about giving me time to get settled before I start working a project. Seems they would make living arrangements for me as much as I am on assignment, but they never do. So, why am I complaining about it? I let them get away with it every time. So, this is why I'm held up here in this hotel room, though it may be that the company wants me to choose my own place. If I choose my own place, then I’ll be comfortable and happy, so I should be happy about having control. I know their reasoning is so that I can do the best job.

I’m going to do that anyway, because they pay well.

The Marriot Hotel is not so bad, but not extremely good either. It’s supposed to even be a luxurious environment. Not! It is kind of noisy here and it is people busy. I hear this young couple next door banging their brains out all night, every night. I’m not supposed to be hearing couples having sex. I thought the walls are supposed to be sound proof. Being female and celibate for a month, the passion cries from this young temptress is taking my mind to all kinds of erotic places. I had to pull out my rabbit and ease myself from the tension of hearing her scream for an hour. No man has ever made me scream for an hour.

Well, her man hit on me the other day and I've been tempted to invite him to my room when she's out doing whatever it is she does every day. I have even fantasized about his sex; his hard muscles all over my soft body and me feeling his hard body pressing down into my yearning skin. He's a muscular dude; at least six feet

seven inches tall and he looks very familiar to me. He is quite handsome. Maybe I’ve seen him on one of my many trips while on assignment. His sex partner is also very attractive. She’s always dressed in business suits. She leaves out of the hotel early in the morning wearing her high stiletto heels looking like an executive. I wonder what she does for a living. She always leaves him behind, so I don’t know if he is employed or not. Could he be pimping her out? He doesn’t seem like that type, but a person can never tell by outward appearances.

Yesterday, on my way out, he followed me down the street telling me how beautiful I am and making me blush and his compliments really turning me on. Wishing he would stop, I tried to walk a little faster, but he was more use to dipping in and out of the way of New York pedestrian commuters than I am. I lie here and reminisce as my vibrator does an okay job for a machine. I listen to the couple at it again. When the passion cries stop, I think about him almost stalking me yesterday.

“Olivia, why don’t you slow down girl and let me talk to you. Mmm, I’m feeling you in those jeans. I need to talk to you and tell you some things.”

I was thinking to myself, how in the hell does he know my name? It doesn’t even matter right now because when I take little inconspicuous glances, he’s looking too damn good in that muscle shirt and Sean John jeans. His fresh new sneakers are glistening white and are brand name, but I can’t see who the manufacturer is. Damn, that low hair cut, side burns, moustache and bulge in his pants is turning me on. He is definitely a gym rat. His body is not too large and not too small. He is just right!

I stopped and went to an alley and leaned against the wall. I stood right at the entrance so people could see us. Although I wanted to, I couldn’t really trust this dude.

We may live in a reputable hotel like the Marriott, but that does not mean he can’t be a serial killer or rapist. I just wanted to give him a chance to give me his tired old rap. He must be using this same old line on other ladies while his girl is out doing whatever to bring home the bacon. I thought then was the time to cure my curiosity about him being the stay-at-home man while his partner works.

“Whew! Beautiful, I am glad you slowed down. Shit! I haven’t worked out in a few days and that is catching up with a brother. Mmm, I like the way your jeans are hugging up on you! I wish to be those jeans right now all snug on you.”

I rolled my eyes at him and lit a cigarette though I have not smoked in years. It was an excuse and reason for stopping to see where he was coming from and where his

head was. I couldn’t let him think I stopped all because of him. Acting like I was ignoring him, I took a fake puff of the stick and blew out smoke. I saw him watching my crotch.

“Olivia, you are something else girl! Will you join me for breakfast? I usually eat and the Bistro over there. It’s just a few steps away and we can grab a table on the outside. I know I sound a little fresh and all and if I offend you, I’m sorry. But, I do like those jeans on you for real.”

Hmm, uneducated brothers are always the best in the bed, so why not? Breakfast, lunch, dinner and a one night stand roll in the bed. So, let’s get the eating out of the way and get to the hot sex that I want from you; the same sex in which you’ve been giving your girlfriend every day. I want some of that too.

So without saying a word to him, I walk over to the restaurant and take a seat at a table on the outside. Umbrellas were placed over each table to cover the patrons from the sun. No sooner than we took our seats, a waitress arrived to take our orders. I remained silent, so he placed orders for Asian Dragon Fruit Smoothie with freshly squeezed juice. I was baffled as to what the hell was that type of juice, but I didn’t say a word. I just waited to see when the order arrived.

“Damned girl, I’ve never heard you speak, so now I’m wondering if you’re trying to be a seductress or if you can’t talk for real. Either way, it’s turning me the hell on. A silent woman is a good woman on any day. I know you’ve seen me with the little honey I hang with, but man if she was only quiet like you. All she does is fuss, fuss, fuss and talk, talk, talk. She’s the jealous type.” To Be Continued…

*Come back next month to see part 2 of

Olivia Meets Deuce.

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