Lifestyle S E N I O R
LIVING
The Value of Grandparenting – Then and Now Written by D A N A P E V E L E R . Executive Director of Senior Living—Leisure Living Communities
M
y brother and I were able to spend weekends, all our holidays, summer and spring breaks with our grandparents. I’m sure they mischief-proofed their homes before our arrival, but I think back on some of the stunts we pulled and still wonder how we didn’t seriously injure ourselves. I’m not sure if our parents were aware of all we got by with, or if they needed the break so badly that they just prayed for the best! Either way, going to Grandma’s for spring and summer meant laughter, exploration, cousins, homemade desserts, and no place to be except where our bare feet could take us! Memaw (Mom’s mom) and Grandma (Dad’s mom) showed up in tandem to help take care of us whenever Mom and Dad needed them. I heard stories about my Memaw, who after listening to a colicky me cry relentlessly for hours, demanded that my mother “Hand that baby over!” My mother relinquished me without question to be tightly rolled in blankets and warmed by an old drum stove, putting me instantly to sleep.
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Owensboro Living M A R C H / / A P R I L 2 0 2 2
Fast forward 25 years - marching in as a one-person army, my mom was the same. She stayed with me each time I came home from the hospital until I could manage on my own. In the years that followed, Mom showed up with all the essentials to help me with the latest childhood sickness; many times, taking them with her to give me time to recover from whatever ailed me. Without me even asking, she set about folding mounds of laundry, washing stacked up dishes … whatever she could see we needed. Like her, I never questioned it – just appreciated the help and thought that’s how people grand-parented. That’s why 26 years later when I joined the glorious “Grandparent’s Club,” I had a whole How-To video in my heart ready to put into action. Geography hijacked my plans. It never dawned on me that I might be a grandmother from a distance. Nor did I consider we would have to schedule when I would come, and where I’d be when he was born. Based on my experience, my role was to come to her house and take
over for as long as necessary. Slow down, Speedy! My daughter had redefined the role and yes, she would like me to come help the week she came home from the hospital with her husband’s parents coming the week after. Okay – well at least I got to be there when he arrived. With a familiar element to my role reestablished, I was content. They live out of state, so getting the call to action meant biting my nails for 10 hours instead of pacing the floor of labor and delivery. Longest. Drive. Of. My. Life. We arrived just after he was born. Perfect timing! Nope. So there’s this thing now where parents get some bonding time with the baby without anyone else around. You probably already knew this. I did not know this. Thank goodness our daughter and son-in-law are great communicators and told us very gently that he was here, she was fine, and that they were spending time alone with our new grandson. As soon as they were ready, she would text me. I’m not even kidding, I literally heard the sound of my grandparent brakes screeching to
