2019 Tartan Literary Magazine

Page 42

Picturesque by Izabela Firlej

“I

’m scared.” I feel his breath on my ear as he whispers to me. He reaches for my hand. His hand is strong, bigger than mine, not surprisingly calloused from the years of work he’s done in his life. “It’ll be okay,” I whisper back, nodding my head at him. Observing his face, I notice the familiar stubble, a constant five o’clock shadow on his strong jaw. His red cheeks remind me of home, of winter, letting me drift back there, letting my mind rest. Thick, bushy eyebrows that frame his face like a bow on a gift. His eyes, amber flames flicking at my heart. Doe eyes, kind and unassuming. My fingers make circles on the back of his hand. I look around the room. It’s drab, I assume not to give anyone here any kind of hope. The walls are a bluish grey, peeling at the bottom, revealing a beige color you’d see in a post-apocalyptic movie. I look to my left at the window, the yellow wheat waving back and forth, as if it were swaying goodbye. The sky is clear except for a couple of clouds. Suddenly I feel his hand shaking. My free hand reaches to stop him. I look up. He’s facing away, looking out at the same fields. I wonder if we’re seeing the same thing. “Hey,” I say, tugging at his arm. He looks at me, and his face has changed,

37

fallen. It’s red and wet, his strong features blurred by the tears coming like rain from his eyes. “I can’t do it,” he whimpered. “I don’t think I can do it.” He’s breathing hard, not trying to stop, letting the tears flow, for once in his life letting himself cry. “Come here.” I gesture for him to come to me. He kneels down to my level, looking at his shoes, his tears dripping on the tile floor. “Of course you can do it,” I say to him, wrapping my hands around his neck, feeling the collar of his shirt, the hair on the back of his neck. “Look at me,” I say, grabbing his cheeks, prickly and wet. “You have to do it.” I feel my cheeks itch with wet. “What do I say to her?” his voice trembles. “You tell her the truth,” I respond, my voice shaking. “Tell her how I was.” My lips begin to quiver. “Don’t let her remember me like this.” My vision blurs. He reaches for my face and wipes my tears. We’re looking right in each other’s eyes now. “Show her pictures. Never let her forget how much I loved her.” “Excuse me,” a meek voice calls from the door. “It’s almost time.” My husband stands up, wiping his tears. I chuckle. “No one can see him soft,” I think to myself. I wipe my own tears. “Would you like to see your daughter?”

Mountain by Isabella Powell


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Articles inside

Back Cover

1min
page 50

2019 Tartan Cover

1min
page 1

Colophon & Selection Policy

1min
pages 48-49

Tartan Staff

1min
page 3

Letter from The Tartan

1min
page 2

Strawberry Wafers

2min
pages 46-47

My Land

1min
pages 44-45

Picturesque

3min
pages 42-43

The Hendersons

3min
pages 38-41

Sorry

1min
pages 36-37

Anchor

1min
page 35

Reach

1min
page 34

If All is Lost, Remember Me

1min
page 33

Heartstrings

1min
page 32

Dijaspora

2min
pages 28-31

One by One

1min
pages 26-27

曦曦 (Xi Xi)

1min
pages 24-25

Loving Her

1min
pages 22-23

The Little Light

1min
pages 20-21

What You Don’t Know

1min
pages 18-19

Things Never Told

1min
page 17

Red Thread

5min
pages 14-16

Fire

1min
pages 12-13

On the Subject of Anger

1min
page 11

Leaving and Other Cold Things

1min
page 10

Snapchat Satire

2min
pages 8-9

Table of Contents

1min
pages 4-5

Behind the Sea

1min
pages 6-7
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