Fishy Feasts

Jon Gower

Feasts

Soon I’ll be banned from my Cardi kitchen for a week as my darling wife starts to prepare a full-on American anksgiving dinner, which has more sides than a anksgiving dinner, which has more sides than a tertradecagon. It’s a thoroughgoingly military-style tertradecagon. It’s a thoroughgoingly military-style campaign, with all manner of mashing and basting and campaign, with all manner of mashing and basting and roasting. And then of course there’s the centrepiece roasting. And then of course there’s the centrepiece turkey, that usually looks as if it’s been on anabolic turkey, that usually looks as if it’s been on anabolic steroids and doing weightli ing with its stubby wings. steroids and doing weightli ing with its stubby wings.

It’ll usually be big enough to bench press its own It’ll usually be big enough to bench press its own weight so, just to be on the safe side, I usually put weight so, just to be on the safe side, I usually put on the old hernia belt before going to pick up on the old hernia belt before going to pick up the bird from the butchers. Which got me thinking about Welsh feasts. Our nest repository of folk tales e Mabinogion is full of remarkable meals such as Rhiannon’s wedding feast and the one to mark the coronation of Branwen’s son Gwern as the King of Ireland. For this event the Irish hang 100 deerskin bags in the new banqueting hall. e bags, supposedly containing our, actually hold armed Irish lords. It’s a ruse that doesn’t end well for the hidden soldiers. Our nest repository of folk tales Mabinogion Rhiannon’s wedding feast and the one to mark the coronation of Branwen’s son Gwern as the King of Ireland. For this event the Irish hang 100 deerskin bags in the new banqueting hall. e bags, supposedly containing our, actually hold armed Irish lords. It’s a ruse that doesn’t end well for the hidden soldiers.

Welsh history too has its ne bills of fare, such as that Welsh history too has its ne bills of fare, such as that at Owain Glyndwr’s court at Sycharth, which featured, at Owain Glyndwr’s court at Sycharth, which featured, according to his resident praise-poet Iolo Goch, “Spirits according to his resident praise-poet Iolo Goch, and nest bragget/All liquors, white bread and wine/ with meat and re in the kitchen.” Or George Borrow’s meals when he wrote ‘Wild Wales’ and dined on salmon and mutton and that ‘the leg of mutton of Wales beats the leg of mutton of any other country... rich and delicate, replete with juices derived from the aromatic herbs of the noble Berwyn, cooked to a turn...’ And then there was the unexpected bonanza, chronicled by Wales’s rst travel writer, Giraldus Cambrensis, when a wild and very violent storm threw up sh which villagers near Niwgwl violent storm threw up sh which villagers near Niwgwl in Pembrokeshire literally harvested o the hedges. in Pembrokeshire literally harvested o the hedges.

But there was one feast in particular that came to mind... an extravagant, overblown a air which must have made the diners wish that Alka-Seltzer had been invented in the eighteenth century not in the 1930s. By all accounts Sir Watkin Williams Wynn at Wynnstay went entirely O.T.T. when it came to celebrating his son’s coming of age in April 1770. He invited a legion of guests and then kept on inviting. e sh dishes alone must have been something, as he ordered in 242 pounds of salmon, 50 brace of tench, 40 brace of carp, 36 pike, 60 dozen trout – which according to my calculator – is

720 sh, 108 ounders, 109 lobster, 96 crabs, 10 quarts of shrimp, 200 craw sh, 60 barrels of pickled oysters, 1 hogshead of rock oysters and 20 quarts of oysters to make sauce. So that was the pescatarians well and truly satis ed. e inveterate meat-eater would certainly not have felt le out as the butcher ordered in 30 bullocks – one of which was to be cooked whole – along with 50 calves, 80 sheep, 18 lambs and then an array of guinea fowls, turkeys, capons and turkey poults. Not satis ed with that selection there were also hundreds of chickens, 96 ducklings, 48 rabbits, 15 snipe, 1 leveret and 5 buck deer. is was catering on a ginormous scale. To satisfy the estimated 15,000 invitees at Sir Watkin William Wynn’s park in Rhiwabon, Denbighshire, he had to lay in no fewer than 18,000 eggs (if you pardon the weak pun, or yolk) and 166 hams, 100 tongues, and 12 backs of bacon, complemented by 30 bushels of potatoes and 6000 asparagus. And just to make sure of those ve-a-day ingredients there were green peas, endless strings of French beans and an amplitude of cucumbers. And there were pies, sweet Lord there were pies, with 7 venison pies and 60 raised pies not to mention puddings including 34 rice puddings, 24 pound cakes, 60 Savoy cakes and a gross of ice creams. at’s a dozen dozen. All this was washed down by a veritable river of ale, comprising 70 hogs’ heads worth and almost 1500 bottles of wine, brandy and rum, with 150 gallons of milk on tap for the abstemious. e happy caterers meanwhile created entire landscapes and shrubby rockworks out of jelly and blancmange. It might be a good time similarly to conjure up a ne Welsh feast in these chaotic times (but not to the wild scale of Sir William,) thus to celebrate ne local fare and the gi of cherished companions, not least as an antidote to the troubling politics of the world around us. It would But there was one feast in particular that came to mind... also be a secular celebration of the autumn’s bounty, this an extravagant, overblown a air which must have made season of ‘mists and mellow fruitfulness’ that plumps the diners wish that Alka-Seltzer had been invented in the hazel nuts, sees the release of rivulets of cider and the eighteenth century not in the 1930s. lls the hedgerows with luscious blackberries and bitter sloes. Start planning. Make a long list of the good things. Eat with friends.By all accounts Sir Watkin Williams Wynn at Wynnstay went entirely O.T.T. when it came to celebrating his son’s coming of age in April 1770. He invited a legion of guests and then kept on inviting. e sh dishes alone must have been something, as he ordered in 242 pounds of salmon, 50 brace of tench, 40 brace of carp, 36 pike, 60 dozen trout – which according to my calculator – is scale of Sir William,) thus to celebrate ne local fare and the gi of cherished companions, not least as an antidote to the troubling politics of the world around us. It would also be a secular celebration of the autumn’s bounty, this season of ‘mists and mellow fruitfulness’ that plumps the hazel nuts, sees the release of rivulets of cider and lls the hedgerows with luscious blackberries and bitter sloes. Start planning. Make a long list of the good things. Eat with friends.