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LETTER FROM THE FOUNDER AND CREATOR OF 4AIDEN I started 4Aiden because I knew something was wrong. I felt empty knowing that I was sitting underneath a rug with all these ideas and temporary solutions on top of me. To start something that seems near to impossible gives you the desire to start it anyway. To perfect your craft is an out of the world possibility which fuels me to go on this journey with a collective of young, gifted aspiring teenagers. We live in a world where imperfections have been dubbed as weak but for how long? For how long are we going to surpass the fact that imperfections make us who we are. I know how it feels to go through the motions of who you are, to feel so shallow that you yourself don’t know what’s wrong. At a young age, you are not really certain what triggers your behaviour other than the fact that maybe something is bothering you at that moment but when it becomes embroidered in your life, you begin to notice the discomfort in your behaviour. You think, maybe its anxiety or “oh, there shouldn’t be a problem conforming to society” because that’s all you’ve ever known or heard of but do you really know the definition to the on going action, do you really know what’s happening in your life or body. Just recently I was reading a book by James Dobson called preparing for adolescence. I have come to terms of how important it is to invest in his books at such a young age because trauma doesn’t stop, it grows with you and evolves, taking up space as a priority in your life. One of the notes I took from his book is that, as teenagers, young adults and whoever is reading this we are always growing and from a young age, we don’t really investigate ourselves in such a way that we can understand why we act the way we do. We tend to put so much pressure on ourselves, trying to conform to the norm of our actions, meanwhile it’s really uncomfortable to come to terms with what sets you apart from the world, that the reality of it is, something really is wrong with you. During my quest of starting 4Aiden, it was a difficult journey for me because I too was being introduced to certain topics that I wasn’t familiar or comfortable with.I felt conflicted at heart. All these big words and terms that label our behaviour can be very terrifying. You tend to think you’ll get better quicker than the usual but meanwhile you're not. There’s a stigma that I hope to address, a stigma that we are not allowed to talk about situations troubling us or else we are just weak which is like silencing a person with a gunshot wound to the leg. This is what I suppose happens to humans. I really hope this will be the platform where you are able to devour yourself, after all, we're all humans facing some crazy shit on a daily basis.
Love Chelsea
“If you see me happy, please leave me alone. Respectfully”
CONTENTS
4 Picture Collage 8 Emotional Health Signs & Causes 12 Mental Health Illustrations 16 The woman behind Carmel Nsita 20 Wrapping up with Carmel 24 Closing up with Portio Mokgotho 28 The rough draft with Sanchez 32 Black Creatives and Entrepreneurs 36 Dominic Kazadi dubbed as “The Future” 40 Anita – The Takeover Article
4Aiden- Best of Seven Issuu
Mental Health
A level of psychological well-being or an absence of mental illness. It is the state of someone who is functioning at a satisfactory level of emotional and behavioral adjustment.
Physical Health
Physical wellness encourages the balance physical activity, nutrition and mental well-being to keep your body in good conditions.
Emotional Health
Emotional health is having both an awareness of your emotions and the ability to manage and express those feelings in an age appropriate manner.
Spiritual Health
Spiritual health includes a purposeful life, transcendence and actualization of different dimensions and capacities of human beings. Spiritual health creates a balance between psychological and social aspects of human life.
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Emotional Health...
Emotional Health Emotional Wellness is defined as coping effectively with life and creating satisfying relationships. Emotional health can also be known as a person’s ability to accept and manage feelings through challenges and change. Someone who is emotionally healthy can allow their emotions to be digestible. The mundane hassles of daily life offer opportunities to practice responses, rather than reactions to allow emotional health to flourish.
The symptoms of poor emotional health are: Feeling sad or down. Confused thinking or reduced ability to concentrate. Excessive fears or worries, or extreme feelings of guilt. Extreme mood changes of highs and lows. Withdrawal from friends and activities. Significant tiredness, low energy or problems sleeping. Emotional health contributes to physical health concerns such as digestive disorders, sleep disturbances and general lack of energy. By far, the two most common emotional disorders are depression and anxiety disorders. Depression has two main symptoms that can occur alone or together. These are sadness (feeling down or blue), and difficulty feeling pleasure or having little interest in doing the things you typically enjoy.Whether you have anxiety, depression or stress, looking after your emotional health is a vital part of your overall health. People who are emotionally healthy are in control of their moods and behaviors.
Causes of emotional breakdown: A nervous breakdown is ultimately caused by an inability to cope with large amounts of stress, but how that manifests exactly varies by individuals. Work stress, mental illness, family responsibilities, and poor coping strategies are all things that can lead to a nervous breakdown and the inability to function normally.
5 emotional signs of stress (emotional symptoms):
Depression or general unhappiness Anxiety and agitation Moodiness, irritability, or anger Feeling overwhelmed. Loneliness and isolation Other mental and emotional problems. What are the five signs of emotional suffering and the healthy habits of emotional well-being?
Personality Change. Their personality changes… Agitated. They seem uncharacteristically angry, anxious, agitated or moody Withdrawn. They withdraw or isolate themselves from other people Self-care Hopelessness I pretend like I am fine but deep down inside I’m not.
Mental Health…
Mental Health Mental wellness is defined as a “state of well-being in which the individual realizes his or her own abilities, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to his or her community.
Example of mental wellness: Satisfaction with your work. Feeling that your skills are used appropriately. Feeling you can manage one’s workload. Feeling a sense of job security.
The symptoms of mental illness:
Feeling sad or down Confused thinking or reduced ability to concentrate. Excessive fears or worries, or extreme feelings of guilt. Extreme mood changes of highs and lows. Withdrawal from friends and activities. Significant tiredness, low energy or problems sleeping. Detached from reality (delusions), paranoia or hallucinations. Inability to cope with daily problems or stress. Trouble understanding and relating to situations and to people. Problems with alcohol or drug use. Major changes in eating habits Sex drive changes. Excessive anger, hostility or violence Suicidal thinking.
Sometimes symptoms of a mental health disorder appear as physical problems, such as stomach pain, back pain, headaches, or other unexplained aches and pains.
Causes of Mental Health Illnesses: Mental illnesses, in general, are thought to be caused by a variety of genetic and environmental factors: Inherited traits: Mental illness is more common in people whose blood relatives also have a mental illness. Certain genes may increase your risk of developing a mental illness, and your life situation may trigger it. Environmental exposures before birth: Exposure to environmental stressors, inflammatory conditions, toxins, alcohol or drugs while in the womb can sometimes be linked to mental illness. Brain chemistry” Neurotransmitters are naturally occurring brain chemicals that carry signals to other parts of your brain and body. When the neural networks involving these chemicals are impaired, the function of nerve receptors and nerve systems change, leading to depression and other emotional disorders.
Risk Factors
Certain factors may increase your risk of developing a mental illness, including: A history of mental illness in a blood relative, such as a parent or a sibling Stressful life situations, such as financial problems, a loved one’s death or a divorce An ongoing (chronic) medical condition, such as diabetes Brain damage as a result of a serious injury (traumatic brain injury) such as a violent blow to the head Traumatic experiences, such as military combat or assault A childhood history of abuse or neglect Few friends or few healthy relationships A previous mental illness Use of alcohol or recreational drugs
Mental illness is common. About 1 in 5 adults has a mental illness in any given year. Mental illness can begin at any age, from childhood through later adult years, but most cases begin earlier in life. The effect of mental illness can be temporary or long lasting. You also can have more than one mental health disorder at the same time. For example, you may have depression and a substance use disorder.
Complications Mental illness is a leading cause of disability. Untreated mental illness can cause severe emotional behavioral and physical health problems. Complications sometimes linked to mental health illness can include:
Unhappiness and decreased enjoyment of life Family conflicts Relationship difficulties Social isolation Problems with tobacco, alcohol and other drugs Missed work or school, or other problems related to work or school Legal and financial problems Poverty and homelessness Self-harm and harm to others, including suicide or homicide Weakened immune system, so your body has a hard time resisting infections Heart disease and other medical conditions
Prevention There’s no sure way to prevent mental illness. However, if you have a mental illness, taking steps to control stress, to increase your resilience and to boost low-self-esteem may help keep your symptoms under control. Follow these steps. Pay attention to warning signs. Work with your doctor or therapist to learn what might trigger your symptoms. Make a plan so that you know what to do if symptoms return. Contact your doctor or therapist if you notice any changes in symptoms how you feel. Consider involving family members or friends to watch for warning signs. Get routine medical care. Don’t neglect checkups or skip visits to your primary care provider, especially if you aren’t feeling well. You may have a new health problem that needs to be treated, or you may be experiencing side effects of medication.
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Get help when you need it. Mental health conditions can be harder to treat if you wait until symptoms get bad. Long-term maintenance treatment also may help prevent relapse of symptoms. Take good care of yourself. Sufficient sleep, healthy eating and regular physical activity are important. Try to maintain a regular schedule. Talk to your primary care provider if you have questions about a healthy intake of food and physical activity.
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IT IS IMPORTANT TO PUT YOUR MENTAL HEALTH ABOVE EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE. PUT YOUR CROWN ON....
Physical Health…
Physical Health Physical Wellness is the ability to maintain a healthy quality of life that allows us to get the most out of our daily activities without undue fatigue or physical stress.
Examples of physical wellness involves making good choices when it comes to:
Alcohol Flu and Colds Prevention Illness Prevention Nutrition Physical Activity and Body Movement Sexual Health Sleep Stress
Examples of physical health: Regular exercise, a balanced diet, proper sleep, and cutting down smoking, alcohol, and drug use are vital to physical health and mental well-being. Physical Activity includes strength, flexibility, and endurance Nutrition and diet – includes nutrient intake, fluid intake, and healthy digestion Alcohol and drugs- includes the abstinence form or reduced consumption of these substances Overweight and Obesity Tobacco Bulimia HIV/AIDS Injury and Violence Medical self-care- includes addressing minor aliments or injuries and seeking emergency care as necessary
Types: 1) Binge eating disorder (eating a large amount of food in a short period of time) 2) Anorexia Nervosa (people eat very little due to fear of gaining weight and thus having a low body weight) 3) Bulimia Nervosa (Where people eat a lot and then try to rid themselves of the food) 4) Pica (Where people eat non-food items e.g ice, hair, paper, drywall or paint, soil, glass, feces, sharp objects and paint) 5) Rumination disorder (where people regurgitate food) 6) Avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder (this is where people have reduced and selective food intake due to some psychological reasons.
Complications: Anxiety Disorders Depression Substance Abuse
Treatment: Counselling Proper Diet Normal Amount of exercise Medications The causes of eating disorders are unclear, although both biological and environmental factors appear to play a role. Eating disorders affect 12% of dancers. Cultural idealization of thinness is believed to contribute to some eating disorders. Individuals who have experienced sexual abuse are most likely to develop eating disorders. Some disorders such as pipa and rumination disorder occur more often in people wi th intellectual disabilities. Only one eating disorder can be given at a time.
Spiritual Health…
Spiritual Health Spiritual Wellness is being connected to something greater than yourself and having a set of values, principles, morals and beliefs that provide a sense of purpose and meaning to life, then using those principles to guide your actions.
Your journey to spiritual wellness may involve the following: Practicing mediation or yoga Praying or taking part in an organized religion Spending quiet time alone pondering the meaning of life. Building awareness through journaling Serving your community, spending time in nature, appreciating music and the arts. The religious components may be the result of human connection with God, love of God, prayer, the feeling that God is effective, and God-oriented knowledge, attitude, and behavior.
Signs of Spiritual Wellness:
Developing a purpose in life Having the ability to spend reflective time alone. Taking time to reflect on the meaning of events in life. Having a clear sense of right and wrong, and acting accordingly. Having the ability to explain why you believe what you believe.
Carmel Nstita I had the pleasure of finding out more about Carmel Nsita after she shared a story of herself on Facebook about what she faced during her adolescence with her physical appearance. Carmel was kind enough to so bravely open up about who she is, what she went through and how she overcame it.
Written By Chelsea Mutizira
Everyone, meet Carmel… Who are you and where do you come from? My name is Carmel Nsita. I was born on the 28th of April 2000 in Kinshasa, DRC. My family (mom, big brother and unborn baby) moved to Cape Town, South Africa in December 2003. From 2003 till the current date, I’ve been living in the mother city, a place which I would practically say I was raised.
What is it that sets you in a positive mood? Finding myself in a low place is never easy to come to terms with but when I do find myself in a low space, my natural reaction is to divert myself into seeking for joy in music, which often doesn’t help as I run to music that just makes me feel comfortable with the way I’m feeling. I’m a born again believer and I believe that only God can bring you everlasting peace and although I go in circles trying to lift myself up, I find myself running to God and he always does an amazing work in my heart and a little bit of exercise is like cherry added on top of a cake!
Have you ever suffered from any chronic illness/disorders in the mental, emotional, physical and emotional health factors or anything closely related and what was the reason for it? In primary school, I was diagnosed with ADHD (A chronic condition including attention difficulty, hyperactivity and impulsiveness.) which I would presume wasn’t that intense. I was told I had a short attention span and I literally still find myself with the same problem in the present day. I find myself taking small breaks almost every ten minutes at work. One thing I secretly struggled with my whole teenage life, was my weight. I am what you call “slender/slim” and I often had people call me thin which I really hated.I enjoyed playing sports therefore my body was toned And that made it even worse. I was always discouraged by my loved ones who would tell me things like “you’re a girl but your body is starting to look like a boy.”I started believing that my love for sports was turning
me masculine and I hated it!!! I had no idea how to balance letting go of what I love doing and focusing on what I wanted to look like. Those that know me know that I do not like wearing dresses or skirts and there was a point in my life where I never owned any. I was cyber bullied after I posted some of my matric ball pictures because I worse a short sleeve dress and on some of the comments I was told “my arms looked masculine.” “Up until today, it is a constant battle, it takes so much to even consider wearing anything that exposes my legs because I fear people will point it out and make fun of me. Up until today, gathering the courage to wear a dress or a skirt is an achievement for me because it means I stood in front of a mirror for a long time looking at myself from every angle trying to convince myself that I look beautiful and feel comfortable in it. Unfortunately, most days, I lose the battle and end up changing into another, more comfortable outfit- usually sweatpants or jeans. It once got so bad to the point where I’d wear tights underneath my jeans to make myself look “thicker”. On hot days, my veins generally come out but I keep my jacket on just to avoid them from being exposed because I always thought it looked and made me feel masculine. I hated my body and I wanted to become “thick”. When people would tell me “you’re so thin”, your body is so toned”, I’d laugh and they thought it was a compliment meanwhile I would go back home and cry about it.
How did you conquer what you went through? Did you meditate, pray, focus on what makes you happy? Please, share your process? I tried so many things to help me gain weight but all failed. I became desperate to a point where I secretly got these pills that supposedly increases your appetite, helping you indulge more food so that you can gain weight. I was taking them secretly so nobody knew about it. There were major side effects such as drowsiness and it was affecting me mentally as it was shortening my attention span. Thank goodness my mom found them one day in my bag, scolded at me and then took it from me and threw it away. I thank God for saving me from that because the amount of pills my body was in taking could have led to an overdose and who knew what could have happened to me. When people point out to me “you lost weight”, it’s like a punch in the face.
“For me, the most confident thing Carmel can do is come here on my platform and share her experience with us. That’s bravery at it’s finest because as young ladies, we often tear each other down which causes us to shield our stories from the world out of shame and embarrasement but this girl right here is a warrior. My wonder woman!!!”
When I stress, I don’t eat, so you can probably imagine the amount of stress I started to feel after hearing someone tell me I’m thin. Being me, hearing “you getting fat/gaining weight” is the sweetest thing you could ever say to me. Social media also played a big role to my insecurities because there was a time where “thick” girls were trending and it made slim girls such as I, feel ugly. Looking back, I find it so hilarious because the tables turned at some point. An artist called Trey Songz released a hit song titled “Na Na” in 2014. In the song Trey Songz and his accompany are acting as a couple who are training at an underground workout room. The same song also featured the famous wrestling divas “The Bella Twins” and they are seen working out and showing off their toned bodies. Everywhere you went, that song was played. Then all
“Real
of a sudden, a lot of females became obsessed with wanting to look fit and working out and then I realized that my body starting being admired. That’s when the terms “body goals”, “I want me a fit girl “and “#fitcouplesstaytogether” started trending. The first thing I learnt in this, is that no matter how you look - thick or thin, short or tall - there will ALWAYS be people who will break you down and make you feel bad about your physical appearance. There will always be comparisons or someone or a certain group of people that will make you feel insecure about who you are. Secondly, the world is all about trends. One day everyone will hate on girls with their natural hair and then the next day everyone will find them beautiful saying “rock that crown baby girl”. One day everyone will laugh at you because you’re dark skinned, the next day they be like “oh my gosh you’re dripping in melanin”.Thirdly, if you don’t stand for something then you’ll fall for anything.
hotgirl shit= being free and unapologetically you, showing off your confidence, hyping up your friends, not taking shit from NOBODY etc” Meg Thee Stallion
“The day we get to wake up without having to conform to society will be the day we get to know ourselves further beyond what we already know. Sometimes we are certain we know ourselves based on other people’s opinions not because what they say merely paints us out as perfect but it gives us validation to our insecurities.Today there’s a trend and you feel obliged to be apart of it because everyone else is but that’s just the thing, your not everyone. Surely you should know being a trend is a recipe waiting to fail because trends change constantly. Just like Carmel said “We only like it because that’s what’s hot right now and we want to fit in” It really is your choice to be what you see in the eyes of others or to take the take the time to know yourself, what your capable of doing and your ability to fuck this world up.”
Chelsea
The world adjusts to whatever is in “fashion” as it’s all about trends. I believe that most of the things we claim to like is not really what we like. We only like it because that is what’s hot right now and we want to fit in - I’m guilty of this too at times. It’s your choice to either root your identity in he who never changes or be prepared to be led by all the changes in the world. This has been an encouragement scripture for this journey: “And do not be conformed to this world [any longer with its superficial values and customs], but be transformed and progressively changed [as you mature spiritually] by the renewing of your mind [focusing on godly values and ethical attitudes], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His plan and purpose for you].” Romans 12:2 AMP. I’m not where I want to be but I can proudly say I’ve learnt to accept and love myself because I know when I look in the mirror, what I see is
What God had exactly in mind when he was creating me.
What does family mean to you? For me, family is everything! Literally! And when I speak of family, I’m not speaking about only my blood relatives, I’m speaking about people that have been loyal. My church is my family, my “squad” (circle of close friends) is my family! And I would lay down my life any day for them.
What do you enjoy doing that you’d perhaps call a career path you’d be interested in pursuing for the rest of your life? I’m a videographer and an editor as well as an aspiring fitness coach. I never knew I wanted to go into media until mid-way through my final year of high school which is hilarious because I was in the science stream (Mathematics, Physics, Life Sciences, etc.) and I was very good at it yet God took me into the media field. I feel blessed because now I get to work full time as an editor and videographer for my church and I’m doing so much now during lockdown making online church possible. I have a serving heart so getting to create and be a part of projects that have an impact on large crowds excites my heart! On the other hand, I love being fit and active and I dream to become a professional fitness coach, even if it’s part time, to help others reach their fitness goals. Once again helping and serving brings me so much joy!
Does what you do help you close those unhappy gaps in your life? Most definitely! I noticed that I’m down when I’m not being productive hence doing what I love, it just gives me purpose, as I believe being able to do what I do are gifts God deposited in me. There’s a fine line though, I try not to put my identity in my work because that easily distracts and draws me from God hence I always make sure I involve him in everything I do.
Would you say what you do is some sort of therapy for you? Yes I would say what I do is a form of therapy because it helps keep my mind busy and focused. When I’m not doing much, I feel empty and I find that’s when the devil often tries to manipulate me into thinking that I have no purpose and that I’m worthless. Thus I’m always grateful for having the ability to do what I love and loving what I do!
What is your aspiration? Is it to be happy, to be rich or to be heard? My aspiration is to be heard. I love sharing my story and experiences because I have discovered that one of my spiritual gifts is” The gift of Mercy”, and that means you have a very unique way to connect with people emotionally. Nothing brings me more joy than helping someone get themselves out of a dark pit. I often find
that it brings me healing too just by helping someone else. Being a recognizable voice is something I’d choose over money any day!
What or who do you live for? One word - JESUS. I live for an audience of one! I wouldn’t be anywhere without him thus I make sure everything I do brings him Glory because wow, he is the reason for everything. He chose to die on the cross for me just so that I can have a purpose and love for eternity, I can’t think of a life without him!
Does doing what you love help you yield and blossom out of the cocoon of pain you don’t want anyone to see you come out of? To be honest, I try to be very vulnerable with my life experiences. If I’m having a bad day, I’ll bluntly admit that I’m having a bad day, I don’t even sugarcoat it. I often tell my friends “I’m having a bad day, please pray for me”. I don’t want to become so emotionally detached that I don’t get to grow. It’s not something that was easy because I grew up in a home where no one was emotionally there for me hence I never vented. I’m glad however that I’m learning these things now while I’m still young because I see many adults struggling with it. They often find their purpose in everything in the world which causes them to stumble when that thing is taken away. In conclusion, I don’t let what I do shield what’s real. I want to experience those things and I want others to do the same.
Share an uplifting quote of your own? For those that live by the slogan “YOLO” (you only live once), think again. The goal is not to live everyday recklessly in fear thinking that today might be your last but the real goal is to live intentionally by FAITH to prepare you for ETERNITY!
Portia Mokgotho I had the pleasure of finding out more about Portia after I stumbled across her poetry pieces on Facebook, for someone who doesn’t like poetry or respectfully “doesn’t understand it” I began to find interest in it after reading her poems, poems that I felt had a deeper meaning and a bigger purpose in my life.We get to learn more about Portia and her trials and tribulations as a young single mother as she dives in who she is. Who are you and where are you from? I am Portia Mokgotho, I'm 23 years old and I am a mother of one. I am quite and introspective introvert. I have a deep inner need for quietness, a desire to understand and analyze my surroundings and learn the deeper truth that is rarely unspoken about. I'm excellent at learning and analyzing as I live so much in the mind. I am a self-straight writer. I am from the busy streets and noisy township called Mabopane in Pretoria.
What sets you in a positive mood? My son sets me in a positive mood, as always. He makes me not give up when things don't go as expected. He is the reason I keep trying over and over until I get something right. There was a time where I went for a job interview as inexperienced as I was, I was confident and I believed that I was going to nail it. Despite the fact that my competitors had maximum requirements than mine, I still remained positive and courageous. Some days I feel like my life is stuck and it's over for me, I feel like I'm going nowhere with my life and I'll never achieve a thing but the moment I look at my son, all the negative feelings fade away, positivity takes over and I feel motivated and empowered. I feel encouraged to keep pushing and going, and then I get the "I will make it" motive. My son is my drive, I always feel the need to be positive and keep trying because I think I owe him that much. I want him to look at me and see an inspiration. I
I want him to inherit the courage and positivity in me.
Have you ever suffered from any chronic illness/disorders in the mental, emotional, physical and emotional health factors or anything closely related to it and what was the reason for it? Yes, I have. I used to be suicidal. There was a time where I wanted nothing but to just die. 2 years after I completed my matric, I wanted to further my studies so desperately. During the two years, I applied but my applications were unsuccessful, I opted to job hunting which was also unsuccessful. People I matriculated with were going somewhere with their lives, some were studying while some were working, like everybody was busy. Things were falling into place for everyone and then there was me, left behind. I felt like a failure and a loser. I got rid of my long wish list and I was only left with one wish 'death wish'.
How did you conquer what you went through? Firstly I opted to praying but somehow I felt like God doesn't intervene when the devil is busy with his work. I stopped praying and opted into focusing on things I've achieved so far, I looked at what I had that other people didn't have. I began to appreciate and be grateful for what I had at that time and made peace with the fact that it's not yet my time. I motivated myself to be patient and to keep pushing. I kept myself busy with writing and sharing my writings on social media and people's
responses made me realize that I'm not as useless as I thought I was, just that alone, gave me peace of mind and happiness. There and then I felt the need to be alive, I felt useful, I felt I had a purpose. The suicidal thoughts were blown to the wind with no direction.
What does family means to you? Family to me doesn't mean much, don't get me wrong. My family was never there for me, I had both parents yet I had to grow and look after myself at a young age, I had to survive on my own, I looked up to myself. And as I grew older, I got to understand that family will love and support you when it's beneficial, family will be there on good days, they will only listen to you when you have something and beside that you are on your own, to them you are just a living thing with no purpose. So family to me means you got to have something to offer to earn their love and support. Family's love, care, respect and support is earned when you either have money or a good job.
What do you enjoy doing that you’d perhaps call a career path you’d be interested in pursuing for the rest of your life? I enjoy writing for entertainment and healing people through it .I didn't take it seriously at first because I was writing for fun, until I started seeing the impact I make on people's lives with my writings. I started to see how my writing was starting to heal, inspire and motivate people and I took a decision that I will pursue writing for the rest of my life and writers don't usually retire so yeah I will forever write to entertain and heal.
Does what you do help you close those unhappy gaps in your life? Writing and healing people I don't even know through my writings really makes me happy. The positive responses and encouragements to keep writing more from my fans makes me forget my miseries and closes the unhappy holes and gaps in me. I can say each happy fan closes one unhappy gap. Knowing that I make someone I don't even know happy makes me feeling that I have a purpose and I make a different in someone's life. All those feelings and people appreciating my pieces of poems does fill the unhappy gaps.
Would you say what you do is some form of therapy to you. It is a form of therapy because I don't only entertain and heal other people, I also find healing and empowerment from my own writings. Some of the things I write do get to me as much as they get to other people, they might have been written by me but after sometime when I go through them, they hit home. They make sense and they get me practicing what I preach to people daily.
What are the kind of life projects or situations that have really challenged you? Being a young unemployed mother was really challenging, challenges of being a mother don't only occur only when the baby is born, they as well begin with the pregnancy. I gained weight which meant I had to get new clothes, never mind the cravings that also played their part which I had to find a way to feed and then the clinic appointments on the other side needed to be attended and mind you, I had no income at all. My boyfriend was only a student surviving with student allowance. Talking about my boyfriend’s insecurities and doubts also affected me. I felt like our relationship was no longer the same and he also contributed to all those thoughts and feelings as we didn't talk like before. Though I was young, I wasn't a teenager but because I looked 5 years younger than I was, people gave me nasty stares and comments which made me uncomfortable which made me avoid crowded places. Out of the blue, it seemed like successful people my age just appeared from nowhere flashing their cars and all, that made feel dump and stupid, my self-esteem and courage were affected. When I gave birth, everyone was happy, well at least they pretended to be, they made promises well empty promises if you want to know. I had to forget about applying for varsity and job hunting so I can look after my baby, I did what I had to do to feed and put clothes on my “lil champ” (can't go into details). My family promised to look after my baby so I can go back to school the following year, I applied and I was accepted.
When the time came, things didn't go as planned. They took back their promises and I had to forget about going to school and play mother. At the end of the day, he is my baby, my responsibility and I made him so I had to raise and look after him.
What would you tell people your age or younger that are suffering through these type of situations? If you are young and don't have a baby yet then make sure you don't until you are old enough to be a parent and financially stable. Being a parent at a young age while broke isn’t easy, you'll have to sacrifice a lot and once you have a baby just know that you are no longer living for yourself, you have to forget about you for a moment and put all your attention on the baby. If you already fell into the parenthood trap and you are unemployed don't let the baby be the reason for unemployment and poverty be your lifetime situation, don't make your baby other people's burden you made it to carry. Let that baby be a part of your future plans and goals, raise your baby and do what you feel you have to do for both your survival and his/her. Motherhood comes with lots of challenges, you have to deal with them before they get the best of you. Challenges will always find their way to you but don't ever attempt to run away from them as they will always catch up with you.
Are there are situations you could have prevented from being unhappy or nearly wanting to take your life away?
For me, the beginning of this whole motherhood journey was one of the most unhappy moments, so yes I could have prevented it if I abstained or used contraceptive methods and I feel it's my fault because of my ignorance and my carelessness. I believe that no one falls pregnant by mistake or accident so yes, I could have prevented going through that difficult route. I could have also prevented wanting to take my life away when my plans of furthering my studies and job hunting failed, I could have thought of something like maybe starting a business or volunteering somewhere. I should have considered looking for piece jobs such as doing people's laundry, cleaning their houses and yards. I mean I had nothing at that time so I wasn't supposed to be choosy because I thought that having a matric certificate meant opportunities will be served to me on a silver platter.
What is your aspiration? My aspiration is to be heard. Growing up I never stated anything that troubles me, I never said my side of the story, I never talked about things that didn't sit well with me and I said nothing to people or about people who did me wrong. By that, I remained unhappy and unsatisfied. I believe that I should be heard so I can be at peace, I should be heard to get things done the way I want, I should be heard to be understood, I should be heard to avoid being thrown under the bus, I should be heard so I don't take the fall for things I didn't do and I should be heard to get an apology even if neither of those happen but I still believe that I should be heard. I know I might be ignored but they will still know how I feel about certain things, they will know my side of the story and my opinion concerning other issues.
What do you live for? My son is the one I live for. He is my priority and I always put him first. There is nothing I love more than him, he is the reason I'm trying so much to survive in this world. Every time when I feel like I could just die I immediately crush the feeling because I feel like there is no one in this whole world who can love and take care of my son the way he needs to be taken care of and it's only me who can do that. My son is the reason I push so much to be a better somebody. Every day when I wake up I look at him and I see a child that's need my love, care and protection until he can face this world on his own. I'm not even sure that in the latter future, when he is all grown up, that I will accept his decision of not needing my protection anymore. Every single minute of the day, before doing something, I think of my son because I no longer live for myself but him. He may be outside my body but he is my heart, in a human form. He is a heart that has its own heart.
Does what you love help you yield and blossom out of the cocoon of pain you don’t want anyone to see you coming out of? My son does help me out of the cocoon of pain I don't want people seeing me coming out of. His smile heals me and it helps me forgot about my pain and makes me focus on making him smile more so the pain can leave bit by bit with every tiny smile.
His laughter gets me excited every time, it changes my whole mood. It doesn't matter who, what or how hurt I am, my sons giggling gets rid of all the pain in my heart, he is my smile keeper. I do tell him things I don't reveal to other people, he might not understand and never respond yet but I feel relieved after pouring my pains and worries to him, just looking deep into his eyes I get the 'I'm here for you and you will be okay'.
Share an uplifting quote of your own? Don't wait for your time to come. Do what you have to do patiently towards your time.
Sanchez Bandowa Benoit
Hello, Mr Benoit Welcome to 4Aiden
I had the pleasure of finding out about Sanchez is story when a friend referred his experience as a great piece. Sanchez is story really gets to me time and time again and perhaps it will do the same to you. One of the greatest things you can take from this article is that even the inevitable can happen but sooner or later, you will find your niche.
Everyone, meet Sanchez Bandowa Benoit….
Who are you and where do you come from?
Coffee anyone?
Hi, I’m Sanchez Bandowa Benoit, I’m 19 years old and I’m currently living in Cape Town (South Africa) originated from the D.R Congo.
What sets you in a positive mood? There are many things that light up my mood such as jogging, actually jogging helps me to reduce stress, having conversations with people and listening to other individual’s point of views. I really feel happy when I talk to people, and the most important thing is listening to music which is one of the most common one because when people are feeling down, they listen to their favorite playlist which really helps.
Have you ever suffered from any chronic Illness/disorders in the mental, emotional Physical and spiritual health factors or anything closely related to it and what was the reason for it? Back in 2013, I was 12-years old. I lost my parents and my step sister and my life changed completely. It felt like the world had turned their back against me and I started doubting the existence of God. I had a dramatic break down and this whole tragedy lead me to depression. At some point, I felt like I was empty (a person with no soul) I cried day and night. I had lost weight and there were several times I tried to escape my problems by taking my own life away but honestly I didn’t have the courage to do so.
How did you conquer what you went through? When I was going through all of these challenges, my father’s family took me to see a therapist twice a week, they took me places where I could distract myself, places like shopping, going out for ice cream, a promenade to the beach and vacations. They tried to erase the bad memories in my head but unfortunately I couldn’t stop thinking about what happened, I mean, I lost my father who was everything to me, technically I’ve considered him as God because he played such a huge role in my life. In 2017 I went to visit my grandma in Morocco (Casablanca )My grandmother whom is a Christian decided to one day take me to church, she introduced me to a group youth which I’ve fallen in love with and
since then I’ve started going to church and sharing my challenges with my youth leaders. They give me great advice and they’ve helped me to see the light in the dark. So in conclusion, I really was supported by a lot of people but my youth leaders really played a huge role in my healing, all thanks to my grandma.
What does family mean to you? Family means a lot to me and even though I’m not with my biologic parents. I really love and appreciate the ones I have because they are always around whenever I need them and without my family, I honestly would be lost in this creepy world.
What do you enjoy doing that you’d perhaps call a career path you’d be interested in pursuing for the rest of your life? Well, about my profession, I’m not too sure about that because sometimes I want to go in the fashion field, I mean, I love fashion and it makes me really happy and as a young boy I’ve always looked up to my father who was a designer and I feel like if I pursued that career, I would make my father proud but, at the same time I doubt it. How many fashion designers are out there? So to say the least, my profession is unclear right now and that’s why I’m taking a gap year to find out what I really want to do with my life.
“Fashion makes me feel so much better but I’m still uncertain about what I want.”
Does what you do close those unhappy gaps in your life? As I mentioned earlier on, fashion makes me feel so much better but I’m still uncertain about what I want.
Would you say what you do is some form of therapy? Definitely, it’s a form of therapy. I mean, talking to other people about what’s bothering me or sometimes even having a conversation with myself, helps me to overcome my challenges( problems)in life and I will recommend it to other individuals.
Are there any life projects or situations that have really challenged you? The situation that changed my life was the fact that I have to wake up every morning knowing that my biologic father and my sister are no longer here and I have to face reality. This tragedy transformed my life forever but only God knows why I had to experience all this. Life it not all about sunshine and rainbows. At some moment we happy and then at another well just melancholy, life will knock you to a point whereby you will start questioning God’s existence. What you’re going through is just temporary, God has a plan for your future, when I say God has a plan, it doesn’t mean you
should sit back and relax, you need to put effort. If you’re suffering from mental health you’d have to get professional help or if it’s a financial issue you’d have get a job or something and don’t use your situation as an excuse because we all know that this world is not for the weak.
Do you think there are situations you could have prevented from being unhappy or nearly wanting to take your own life away? There are many events I wish I’d prevented from my life unfortunately I don’t feel comfortable mentioning them here because I feel like they are more personal. I hope I’m not upsetting the reader’s.
What is your aspiration? My inspiration is to be happy since I went through hell. I would love to stay happy for the rest of my life, I’ve been sad for too long but of course money flows with happiness.
What and who do you live for? Honestly I live for myself but the thought of my father keeps me moving as well.
Does what you do help you yield and blossom out of the cocoon of pain you do not want anyone to see you come out of? Pass
Share an uplifting quote of your own? Never panic when things gets tough. Try to be resilient and find a way to get out.
“Honestly I live for myself but the thought of my father, keeps me moving.”
PETER DK- THE RISING ARTIST
PETER IS AN EXQUISITIVE ARTIST, HIS ATTEMPT TO PUT THE PENCIL ON ppP
PAPER IS NOT AN ATTEMT BUT AN ACCOMPLISHMENT. HIS PHENOMENAL. TRULY AFRICA IS RISING STAR IN THE ART WORLD. PICCASO PERHAPS?
Peter DK The great thing about Peter other than us going to the same school is how his love for art would attract small and huge crowds around him. I remember seeing his work at the Cape Town libabry and literally telling myself “Wow, what a talent.” Who are you and where are you from? My name is Peter DK, I am Congolese, born in Angola, raised in South Africa.
What sets you in a positive mood? What does family mean to you? Family is the people I hold dearly to my heart, they mean everything to me.
What do you enjoy doing that you’d perhaps call a career path you’d be interested in pursuing for the rest of your life? I'm an artist, I've loved and been doing art since childhood. Not only does art help me pay off my bills, but it heals me and allows me to find myself when I'm lost.
Does what you do help you close those unhappy gaps in your life? Yes it does.
Art and music is what sets me in a positive mood.
Would you say what you do is some form of therapy?
Yes, it does.
What are the kind of life experiences or situations that have really challenged you? We all make mistakes but I don’t believe in “mistakes”. They are all really learning opportunities. As we walk through life, sometimes learning the hard way is just how we have to do it but don’t beat yourself up about it. Learn from the past. Use it as a guidepost of how to do it better the next time. Accept the choices you’ve made and change the next one.
Have you ever suffered from any chronic illness/disorders in the mental, emotional, physical and emotional health factors or anything closely related to it and what was the reason for it? An estranged relationship with God.
How did you conquer what you went through? Did you meditate, pray, focus on what makes you happy? Please share your process? I prayed and acknowledged the situation... It’s difficult to cut lose things that we once treasured or felt identified us, such as the dream of a lifetime of family closeness. Allow yourself to feel the sadness of letting them go. It’s okay to feel sad. In fact, it’s very normal and appropriate. Experiencing all your feelings about the thing is a way to ensure that you can fully release it. God listens. Do all the crying you need to do, but then get up and do something
w.
.
What would you tell people your age or younger that are going through from the same situations? God is the solution to all our problems, speak to him because he listens, pick up a paint brush and express your feelings on a canvas, it always make me feel better
Do you think there are situations you could have prevented from being unhappy or nearly wanting to take your own life away? Yes there are...
What is your aspiration? To be rich, happy or heard. To be both, because if I'm rich I'll be able to help the less fortunate people who are in need of financial help and helping them would make me happy.
What or who do you live for? I live to serve God
Does doing what you love help you yield and blossom out of the cocoon of pain you don’t want anyone to see you come out of? Yes it does, Art is healing because it forces you to forge a connection between your mind and your body. Unlike exercise, which works your body, or meditation, which clears your mind, art-making accesses both mind and body to promote healing.
Share an uplifting quote of your own? "Art is one of the most positive thing in this negative world we're living in"
and con excep of m podca say>? on
Please follow menakez on instagram. I can pretty much say that ever since I Discovered her, her account has helped Me in more ways than I can think. She Has a podcast titled @thel8bloomers and She is an entrepreneur. Yes girl, we love To see it!!!
Abxola has really done the deeds for me! Entrepreneur and author of take what you Need (Lord I need this book in my life!) is Not here to play but to raise the bar higher. Do you want to become a member of her Inner Circle for $15 a month? Then please Visit her website www.abiola.me and @abxola on instagram.
Entrepreneur and founder of confident and killing it, Tiwalola is here to make confidence the norm and not the exception!!! Just last week, I was one of many who downloaded her entire podcast on spotify and what can I say I’ve embodded confidence and that’s On God. Follow @confidentandkillingit on instagram and spotify.You did that! www.confidentandkillingit.com
If “you ain’t got nothing on me was a person” Fisayolonge would take the win. When you read my cominof age article, you’ll know exactly what I mean. Fisayo, owner of Kaicollective wears her own piece in this very picture. As the Irun ShIrt purple and Irun Skirt Purple Screams “come get me” so does My bank balance but it’s all worth It. Evoke that confidence woman! www.kaicollective.com/
Magnify Collective is a global community of
Ambitious women thriving at intersection of Faith and culture. Now on their 7th of issuu of Publication, magnify just comes through for me In every being in my body and I’ve made a goal To build a collection of each issuu as well as Listen to their podcast. Who’s with me? www.magnifycollective.com and @magnify
It's time to dig deep into Some art for serenity. Hanan’s corner is an art For the disapora. Follow @hananscorner on instagram to visit her etsy store
Kira J also known as @iamkiraj on instagram Is literally holding my confidence with stitches. I haven’t even bought any of her books yet but Her posts literally do the most especially when She decides to open up one of her books and bless Us with some insight of it. She has so much Confidence and only speaks truth. I swear to you Guys, Kira J is the plug, the blueprint and the map. Follow her on instagram @iamkiraj and go straight To her website for those books!
A
Follow @blacklove.feed for a whole curated melanin Gallery. Black Love, Black Culture, Black everything. I’m literally always wanting them to post every second But that doesn’t stop me from scrolling all the way down. Send them a dm for promo/features.They make me feel so proud to be black.
Rupi Kaur recived widespread popularity after her debut book Milk & Honey. Her work explores relationships and sexual trauma. Follow @rupikaur for inspo
Follow @theartidote on Facebook and Instagram. A beautiful space to storytell, empathize, bond and heal through art.
DOMINIC KAZADI Dubbed by Chelsea as, the future. I met Dominic in my first year of high school, I knew him but I’m not sure if he knew me, more of a mutual friend thing. In grade 9, our friendship really tightened and we literally did everything together, same peace club group and same events. Dominic is my biggest supporter, his a great friend with an amazing potential so I knew having him tell his story even in the slightest of bit was just about enough Everyone, meet Dominic Kazadi Who are you and where do you
come from?
I am Dominique Kazadi .I am South African by birth and Congolese by blood. I am 19 years old. My Parents are from Congo originally. I grew up in the City of Cape Town all my life. What sets you in a positive mood? Good energy. Enjoyable and challenging topics with friends as well as good sanity and health. .
Have you ever suffered from any chronic illness/disorders in the mental, emotional, physical and emotional health factors or anything closely related to it and what was the reason for it? I would say all three because I lost faith and hope in myself because I was always compared to others even though I knew how different and unique in I am. I later gave my life to God in 2018.My life changed forever and I have become an amazing individual to myself and others. God can change your life forever and he indeed loves us all.
How did you conquer what you went through/go through? Do you meditate, pray, focus on what you love doing? Please share your process with us. I always prayed and the power of prayer opened the way for me to focus on my dreams, goals and ambition. FAITH, HOPE AND LOVE OF GOD.
What does family mean to you? Family is the foundation in my life.
What do you enjoy doing that you’d perhaps call a career path you’d be interested in pursuing for the rest of your life? I am a fashion Model and MC.I am passionate and enjoy every part of my JOB.I know I will take it more seriously next year. I am currently in my final year of high school and very much focusing. I will start doing full time modeling next year which I am manifesting in 2021 for GREATNESS.
Does what you do help close those unhappy gaps in your life? Yes it does. I lost my dad a month ago. (May his precious soul rest in peace?) I have a purpose to live now for my family and the future. To those that take inspiration from me.
Would you say what you do is a form of therapy? Yes it teaches me to be authentic, dedicated and consistent in my life to aspire to be phenomenal. To protect my sanity all cost. Connecting with other models, photographers, agents and high booked clients. They are all down to earth people who are striving for success.
What are the kind of life trials and situations that have really challenged you? The passing of my father. He was a HERO.
What would you tell people your age or younger who are suffering from these type of situations?
What is your aspiration? To be happy, heard or rich. Happiness ticks my box. Being able to authentically stay true to myself by respecting myself to not violate other people’s rights. Who or what do you live for? Myself, God, Family, close friends and to those who look up to me for inspiration.
Never ever give up. Pray harder and build your faith with God. Trust in God, with him all things are possible. Your hard work will pay off. The right people will show up and your dreams will come true.
Does doing what you love help you yield and blossom out of the cocoon of pain you don’t want anyone to see you come out of?
Do you think there are situations you could have prevented from being unhappy or nearly wanting to take your own life away?
Yes it definitely does. I shine from the inside out. Peace and positivity is what I love when doing what I do.
Yes, I almost committed suicide when I was 13 years old because of some horrible friends who were telling me that I was not good enough. I had an incident once that was out of my hands whereby I almost drowned but my two classmates saved me. God has protected me all my life and I will forever be thankful for that.
Share an uplifting quote of your own? Small successes can add up to major gains if you preserve and keep striving to improve.Thank you so much 4Aiden for this stunning feature. May God bless you for giving a young talent like myself a platform to at least tell the world who I am especially those who sight me as an inspiration.2021 lets go.
Paper Trail Our age, our body and our identity is a seamless piece of art that we walk around with so much bravery. We are like hanging corpses, walking around with rigged smiles, frowns and fainted hearts hoping someone will help us. Are we breathing? Or are we walking around with an invisible oxygen tank hoping someone will see us or is it true? True that this generation walks with clown faces or the fact that we live in an emotionless world with emotional people. How dire! That at some point, we would overturn our leaves to suit someone else is emotion for the day. We laugh, we cry, we dance, we cough, we stutter and we too frame ourselves in a box so far away. As we leave a paper trail of words behind, I’d like to frame it. I’d like to witness the pain of those seeing it. Pre-adolescent, before your mind becomes conscious or cautious of the actions you ought to take. Post adolescent, you are tired yet still trying to navigate yourself, find purpose and steer away from childhood trauma. I think it is fair enough to say that the longer you live on this earth, the more we dissatch ourselves from the reality of it, from what really matters. That whatever idea you have of me is neither for me to entertain nor my responsibility to live up to.
Coolest Republic I wanted to find one local brand to write about and use the same questions or maybe at a slightly different angle to actually find out how it feels working as a collective. I’ve known the creators before the brand even started and watched it blossom right before my eyes. I believe Coolest Republic is a growing brand and I really love how unified they are. Working with a lot of people is very difficult especially when you have a different vision but the cofounder Emkae Blackson comes forward and explains to us how he came about Coolest Republic and how he feels creating this platform for the youth.
What came about the brand Coolest Republic? Coolest Republic is a Brand that started at Maitland High School, an idea that just came up innerspring of the streets. We have members from different countries in Africa but as a whole we are from Cape Town representing the Western Cape.
What made you make the decision to work as a collective? What made us work together is mostly our goal for this brand and also because we have a common hidden agenda which is our love for fashion that brings us together and creates a positive energy for lifelong healthy partnerships.
As human’s beings, we all have different problems we face. Spiritually, when I’m feeling down, I seek for God no matter when I’m stressed or worried about a certain situation I’m facing, I always seek for God’s guidance. My favorite verse from the Bible is PHILIPPIANS 4:13 which says, “I have the strength to face all conditions by the power that Christ gives me”. Every time I think of that particular verse, I worry less and I motivate others to keep pushing. Most of the time, I pray to the one above as I try to rejuvenate my spirit and keep myself motivated. I tend to read my favorite verses and pray as often as I can. I make sure I plan my schedule a week before doing a certain task, like planning a photo shoot before time. I tell everyone what needs to be done or followed up on which is not an easy task because not everything goes as planned but you have to get up and try again till you learn how to navigate through the problem and get it right . For me, Coolest Republic is my family. I tend to call Coolest Republic family because I grew up with most members in the team whom were there from the very beginning. They became very much a part of my daily routine and now are a part of my life. I look back and feel amazed at how close we have all become and I only have God to thank for that. Yes, doing these events and being an entrepreneur is something that has become a part of our profession. As our fan base grows, many people start to have high expectations from us. Like more events or appearances or just something creative.So with those expectations, it is something we want to grow on and achieve more by working as a collective. Doing what we do surely makes us happy and proud because we are giving a lot of young people creative platforms and inspiring them on a larger scale so at the end of the day when we do these events, it is something that makes us happy because everyone comes together and forms friendships and builds good connections so although it is an event that showcases a variety of talent, it also socially brings people together. As a brand that has just started, we endure some financial challenges. One of our biggest challenges is actually fulfilling this dream. A dream that Coolest Republic will be known not only in Africa but internationally as well, a dream that will provide a home for all youths of Africa. Like Sho Majozi said: “Africa will never expire.”
MODEL: BLESSING
Anita Chikodili Adaeze Atuanya
Who are you and where do you come from? My name is Anita Chikodili Adaeze Atuanya, I know right so many names. I am however known as AniClare which is short for Anita Clare. I came about that name after I got my confirmation name at my catholic parish; Clare was a saint I admired. She had dedicated her life as a nun, helped the less privileged &more. I am a Nigerian, born and raised in Lagos ikeja were I attended my primary and high school. I came to Cape Town to further my studies in 2013. What sets you in a positive mood? Doing what I love, which is either creating, designing, dancing, eating or having a good time with friends. For some odd reason, even though being productive can get intense the outcome generally brings joy.
Have you ever suffered from any chronic illness/disorders in the mental, emotional, physical and emotional health factors or anything closely related to it and what was the reason for it? I think during my high school, I was a little depressed from a few things, i felt small & sometimes neglected. I felt a little misunderstood especially by my parents. One of the reason was I was going to a school I didn’t love, we had quite hard conditions at my high school which was a military school. I was also doing nothing creatively which I think caused my depression. I always came home and isolated myself when I could. And for some odd reason I just felt like I wanted to break free. When I finally broke free and came to Cape Town South Africa, which was an uplifting moment for me, when I got here there was also a throwback. It was like me constantly trying to fit in and prove myself. And the fact that after a long day of who knows what, all I had some times was my bed and pillow to comfort me. I felt so alone for such a long time.
I had gastric ulcer from not eating right. I was constantly stressed from working and studying and crazy part is I was still trying to fit in. I needed a social life, these brought about influences, alcohol drugs & boys the need of wanting to be seen and appreciated was really bad for me even when I came to posting on social media became tormenting. I would have anxiety attacks just playing all the things that could possibly go wrong. I didn’t go to church often, but I tried to here and there. My personal relationship with God is what has been keeping me sane these past couple of months. Knowing that all I need is God’s love and approval is the greatest peace I’ve felt in a while. Suicide wasn’t an option for me even through my worst and most embarrassing moments. I felt like my purpose in life was bigger than me.
How did you conquer what you went through/go through? Do you meditate, pray, focus on what you love doing? Please share your process with us. The first thing I had to realize is that I am in control of my life. Of the people around me and how I wanted to be perceived. I had to learn what made me happy. Everything I did I had to understand how it made me feel, certain friends, relationships, family members. Meditation, reading and writing really helps.
Sometimes those quiet moments help you to really know what it is you really want. What brings negativity most and what doesn’t, what is fulfilling and what isn’t? Prayer is key. Once you start thanking God for all the blessings you have and not what you don’t have. Once you start having a clear conversation with God on what it is you truly want, you feel better and more ready to conquer the day.
What does family mean to you? Family is like a support system, people you can share with a family on earth to help you through your tough times. Sometimes they are your guides, friends and partners. If you have a good relationship with your family, it is always a good thing. It is unconditional love. But then again no family is perfect. What do you enjoy doing that you’d perhaps call a career path you’d be interested in pursuing for the rest of your life? Fashion design is just creatively packed. There’s always something to do, growing up I was always interested in art especially cultural art as I grew older, I started noticing our different cultures and clothing. I started analyzing how people dressed according to their personalities and trends. I loved watching fashion lifestyle channels and dressing up myself. So soon after my high school I decided that was exactly what I wanted to do. Does what you do help close those unhappy gaps in your life? Yes definitely, every day I try to do something productive creative or something to impact someone else’s life as well as inspiring and empowering others along the way.
Would you say what you do is a form of therapy? Not necessarily, some activities are highly demanding and can cause stress. Some j can say can be therapeutic due to the slowness and ease to create. What are the kind of life trials and situations that have really challenged you? There are so many different stages of my life that has shaped me. Moving to Cape Town at 16 finishing to the point of my degree without my parents coming to visit me. I basically had to motivate myself...I had a little bit of freedom to do whatever. I used to be the only female bartender wherever I worked. I’ve waitressed and humiliated myself a lot. Working as a promoter and ambassador in the events scene. Working as a sales person in a boutique. Starting my own Afro festival which I had to drop because it was unfulfilling and stressful. Starting my business and all this at 24 now. What would you tell people your age or younger who are suffering from these type of situations? Hold on. You are not alone this too shall pass and learn to know when to Move away from things that don’t sit well with you
Do you think there are situations you could have prevented from being unhappy or nearly wanting to take your own life away? Yes definitely There are times where we just purposely put ourselves in situations that don’t look good. Sometimes when we are so wrapped up in our own heads and feelings we tend to shut people who genuinely care for us out of our lives and we end up feeling lost and alone instead of reaching out. The times where you could have said no to something’s but you took it. These things anyway shape you at the end of the day. What is your aspiration? To be happy, heard or rich. Can I get all three? I would love to be wealth, healthy, fulfilled a way, and heard, helping others along the way. Who or what do you live for? Loving myself, loving the beauty of the world, nature. Helping and inspiring others. Does doing what you love help you yield and blossom out of the cocoon of pain you don’t want anyone to see you come out of? Definitely, generally when I’ve felt down or looked down on, that makes me want to go to my cocoon and di what needs to be done However since I’ve become my own boss, I simply just stay is this cocoon when I need to and blossom when I’m ready with no pressure from the outside world. Share an uplifting quote of your own? Take every opportunity that inspires you/comes your way and make the most out of that moment with grace and handwork.
The Coming of Age When I walk into a room, I want to be able to evoke confidence in it. I want to shake gravity and catch everyone before they fall. Is that too much to ask for? Perhaps some assistance would be great however they are all wants and what exactly am I supposed to do with a want? Crave for it until I get it? I don’t think so. That seems a bit far fetched don’t you think.What is your need exactly? To feel loved? So many questions that ponder in my head that I unfortunately don’t have the answer to. We can learn to love ourselves so effortlessly or we can help one another try to understand the fundamental value behind the word love. Maybe then we can understand the depths to our stories. At any moment, any coming of age moment, comes with a trial of misleading thoughts, we bring about a baggage of anxiety, depression, body shaming, negative energy and whatever else that has hidden itself in my luggage. I am like a drainage full of sewage of bad luck that needs to be flushed away into another origin. More like a lonely lady who carries a trunk fold of luggage with childhood trauma, it relocates with me wherever I go and sets itself apart from me underneath my bed, finding a way to warm itself and trigger the evoked emotions. Am I calm or am I the wind.
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